Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 237: The Menendez Brothers Part I - A Castro Or A Bega

Episode Date: August 24, 2016

It's the biggest murder case of the early nineties on today's Last Podcast as we cover the inheritance killings perpetrated by Lyle and Erik Menendez. It's a lot weirder than you remember it being. Metaphysik Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

hey we got some new live shows coming up in December we're coming to the Pacific Northwest Seattle December 16th live at Numos Portland December 17th live at Mississippi Studios those tickets go on sale this Friday August 26th also got some other news we're coming back to Washington DC on October 29th we're gonna be doing a special Halloween edition at the Benson ball comedy festival that's at the DC improv tickets for all of these can be found at cavecomedyradio.com slash live we got links to every single show so be sure to go there get your tickets and we'll see all fuckers when we come to town now

enjoy today's episode there's no place to escape to this is the last on the left that's when the cannibalism started I like it when the headphones are so loud it's like Ben is living inside of my brain that's the only way to make me focus are we ready to go yeah all right welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone I am Ben Kissel that's Marcus Park I can't believe you only got me an alpha Romeo it's a piece of shit dad everybody looks at it and they say why isn't it a Porsche and I said I got a magic wand from a witch at the fair and I'm been waving it over the hood but it's not becoming a Porsche and I think I

blew $2,000 on this magic wand that I gave to this but bought from this witch H-bone Zabrowski is dropping hints we're talking about spoiled douchebags today some of the most famous spoiled douchebags of all time the Menendez brothers oh man again an example oh if you have a child eat it they got they're gonna murder you unless you properly break their spirit or lift them up you know what my parents did to me there were you remember the Reebok pump you know what I got the Spalding pump they gave me the pump but they gave me the one I didn't want I was mocked forever for two years but I learned humility well

Lyle and Eric Menendez were a pair of extremely rich pieces of shit who cold-bloodedly murdered their parents on August 20th 1989 in an attempt to claim an inheritance of 14 million dollars yeah well the brothers used to Mossberg 12 gauge pump-action shotguns to shoot their mother and father eight and five times respectively thank you as they were dozing on their couch in their Beverly Hills mansion no you say dozing on their couch you mean they were rifling through their many guns in order to kill their children which is why they had to shoot them exactly during the subsequent trial the brothers would

claim that they killed their parents in self-defense because of years of mental and sexual abuse and that they feared for their lives after a Lyle had stood up to his father about the abuse after a cascading series of events that began with a toupee huh in other in other words this is going to be one of the sillier murder cases we've ever it's really true and then once you we found out that Lyle had a toupee now when I look at Lyle because everyone was talked about Lyle's toupee they're like that's got to be one of the most expensive professionally made toupees I've ever seen because it's absolutely

unbelievable seamless completely seamless and I was like but I look at it me like he's wearing a toupee and I mean how young I didn't realize that people under 50 could wear a toupee yeah apparently he lost all his hair at 14 years old no one knows why stress lunatic his dad was not a good dad no he wasn't we'll get into that yeah a lot of the information contained in these episodes comes from a pair of fantastic articles written for vanity fair by a writer named Dominique Dunne who was recently portrayed in the people versus OJ Simpson by the guy who played Cooper and Mad Men also also Dominique Dunne

was the father of the girl from the poulter from poulter guys that got murdered oh wow and he didn't do that right no absolutely not he didn't actually the guy's got a fascinating story he's a great true crime author I definitely recommend getting into him question you're saying Dominique Dunne I think Dominique Dunne was in a couple of soft core porn films I'm pretty certain yeah it's Dominique Dunne Dominique Dunne D-O-N-E yes that's right I remember those porno's excuse me Dominique yes I think Dominique Dunne is a nude actress let's get into the background of the Menendez family Jose the father of the

Menendez brothers was a Cuban immigrant who is sent to America at the age of 16 by his parents following Fidel Castro's coup he arrived with not a penny to his name and no knowledge of the English language but after only two years Jose had learned enough English to attend Southern Illinois University where he met his wife Kitty a local beauty queen five years his senior and if we know anything about the people of Illinois they know the English language perfectly sausage fuck he nailed both of those and you're like you're in Southern Illinois University thank you sir you know what's also if I always find that

there's two types of Cubans you got Castro's and you got the guy from mamba number five those are the new bagels that's it and so he was German no he totally was yeah he's not one of us number five no you're thinking Castro's and Bob a lose no I'm thinking Lou bagels no Lou bagel my friend if Lou bagel was German he was more Cuban than any Cuban who's ever been possible well after years of immigrant style hard work and determination on the part of Jose he eventually became a multi millionaire how does one do this because I was born here and we're still

working semi-hard but where are the millions we didn't go to the right University I guess I guess so yeah we didn't go to Southern Illinois University that's a good one what's the what's the name of the are they like the hot dogs yeah I think they're called the rumbled sweaters oh I love their basketball team well Jose worked various high-powered corporate jobs throughout the years eventually landing a job as an executive at the then struggling RCA records where he tried to turn things around by signing bands like The Erythmics and Jefferson Starship man the heat power but not even we built this

city would be enough to keep Joe at RCA for he soon moved to a position at live entertainment best known for their subsidiary Coralco pictures Coralco produced a lot of big hits over the years including the first two Rambo movies yeah recall and Terminator 2 no shit yeah before finally being sunk by the Matthew Maudine Gina Davis vehicle Cutthroat Island and showgirls idiot what Maudine and Gina Davis took him down I'm really sure girl showgirls was not nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be by the way showgirls is very entertaining it's funny and it has an incredible sex scene with what's his name not Matthew

Cormac Lachlan Kyle MacLachlan and Elizabeth Berkeley in the pool where she's just like slamming his dick oh yeah that was pretty great she ain't Jesse Spano anymore now it's where Jesse Spunko no it's somewhat difficult to get an accurate portrait of Jose Menendez some say that his death was devastating to those around the office at Coralco that they adored him they mourned him when he was gone but others describe him as a grade a asshole yeah I think that's actually probably closer to the truth that's probably closer the truth seems like those who worked with him loved him but those that worked for him despised

him to the point where when he was murdered it was joked around the office that it was probably one of his employees that did it a lot of people had motives to kill him he crushed everybody in order to get to the top he stepped over a bunch of people he was ruthless which is why his bosses loved him he never stopped working he worked 24-7 all it's like he brought his work home and also in the entertainment industry there is a sort of there's you get points totally never stopping working you literally look as a guy who's constantly busy it's a part of your appearance you have to appear to be very successful and

then eventually you become successful especially in Los Angeles well and then you have the ego of the people that you've propped up to success so they like I made the arithmetic I'm the one then the reason to famous I know any Lennox I am basically Annie Lennox you know what's really funny about the arithmetic is that rhythms in the name of the band I don't know why that turned like very record producing that's what they do Frankie sharp sharp records bunch of dickheads well Jose he humiliated people in meetings he loved nothing more than firing people and just could not wait for Christmas to come

around so he could threaten to take away bonuses just to see people jump what other pleasures do you have as the boss besides making the little ones jump everyone to get that's right I mean like the musician you have the ego but you don't have the crowd to entertain so this is the only way to be fulfilled and you know I'm powerful and you and that's the only way to get that gratification you're from accounting it's lovely seal of you to make it to this meeting and this is Tommy he is from he is from R&D he's having a good time I've been working here for 10 years you never want to my name I don't

really care we just gonna happen here is we're gonna do a fun little thing as you guys are gonna blow each other in the first one to shoot his load loses and gets fired so do you have to blow the other one longer at least pleasurably for as long as you believe possible until one of you blows and the first one that blows gets fired so you're gonna call me Greg well he does it or Tom and my name is Tom your new name is dog boy this guy was also unfaithful to his wife and had a mistress for eight years along with the series of in and out girlfriends one business associate was quoted in the vanity fair article is

saying Jose would fucking umbrella what does that even mean and how is it even possible wouldn't the umbrella fuck you you know who would really enjoy that Albert fish oh my god yeah good lord he didn't even think about that you mean to tell me that act the when you put the umbrella up inside of the PUE it gets bigger when you open a switch yet the $5 umbrellas here not surprisingly the Menendez family motto that was instilled in the Menendez brothers from birth was cheat steel lie but when I feel like Eddie Guerrero from the WWE exactly what his motto was and he was no less of an asshole to his sons or so some say I

mean he was definitely an asshole to his yeah he was definitely but the boys became avid tennis players as his father douchebag sports yeah their father pushed them into sports that didn't require teamwork he thought that it would make it easier to fuck people over yeah it came time for them to enter the business world he also had a very weird sense of direction and commitment where he would say you to the boys they could choose one sport and they have to get good at one sport because they have to be experts in it and to a point where if he walked if he looked out his window and saw him playing like there was a

story where you looked out Lyle wanted to get into swimming he looked out the window and saw Lyle was playing soccer with all the boys he comes out of the house he's like well come up here he has all the boys in there as he stresses him down swimming you're gonna swim just like your grandmother used to swim because grandmother was a champion swimmer in Cuba and literally was like you're gonna swim because you got to choose one sport and you get to play other sports you choose one you do one and while you're out here playing soccer you should be doing laps in the pool well that's really where Castro's regime began to

make a major mistake major major made a major mistake allowing them to swim that's the only way off that damn I was even wonder why they're getting so good at swimming it's like they desperately want to escape my regime well one of Lyle's tennis coaches actually testified in their trial about the father we've got a clip from that tennis coach right here he was the harshest person I'd ever met what was wrong in your opinion with the way that Jose Menendez wanted these kids coached I thought it was cruel because they had to physically suffer why did you continue to coach them if so much that you didn't approve of was

going on because I cared for them that's the opposite that's about all they had even Jose that's opposite that's opposite of how that works that's that you should know you should have stopped you should stopped it and just taking care of it yeah it sounds like they got a tennis coach a tennis coach they hired a tennis coach with no backbone whatsoever he sounds like he's a broken man doesn't he yeah we're gonna also find that about Dr. Ozeal their therapist the same way is that the father searched out people that would he would throw money at and be like you're not only gonna train my sons or be a

therapist my sons but you're also gonna do exactly do it the way I'm gonna do it like he would walk out on the courts as he was playing that the tennis coach was teaching him how to play tennis he would walk out onto the courts being like you're doing it wrong and yell at everybody and then leave because he's a great producer a maniac that's what Marcus is gonna do with his kids that you have to do produce the family yeah oh always and that's good and I might even do what Jose did what Jose did to his kids he hosted motivational seminars for his children Marcus now you know you cannot do that with your

children because if it wasn't for your loving mother you would have been a serial killer yes like we are all sort of on a string here yes we're missing one hug on a Saturday some random day back in 1987 we might all be in jail right now as a matter of fact we might be in jail right now and this is all a figment of our imagination I actually think that that's the truth I think that if I didn't get that Ghostbusters firehouse I'm pretty certain that's the key that if I did not get that I would be a professional arsonist and now imagine getting it and then your father would be like and this is how you play

Ghostbusters now pickle girlfriend works with kids she'll make up she'll pick up the slack for me being a fuck up excellent always depend on someone else but the therapist when he paid the therapist he tossed money the therapist he found the first the doctor Ozil was the only one that would be like you're gonna they're gonna tell you secrets and you're gonna tell me all the secrets they tell you so I know everything that goes on a side of their brains yeah terrible awful yeah yeah but others particularly those on Eric and Lyle's mother's side of the family said that Jose instead of being such a tyrant let them get away

with too much that he never disciplined them and gave them everything they wanted and really the truth is probably somewhere in between for example what Henry was saying earlier about the Porsche and the Alpha Romero that actually happened right he got Lyle got an Alpha Romero to an Alpha Romero to go to Princeton in and he got pissed off because he wanted a Porsche and maybe not so coincidentally right after he killed his father you know the first thing he bought after the Rolexes a fucking Porsche yeah cuz that's the things the first thing they did is they both each bought nine thousand two nine thousand

dollar Rolexes because they needed something to match their funeral suit yeah of course you want to look good on the day that you go to the funeral of the parents you just killed and as far as the mother went her life in demeanor is even more muddled than Jose we don't know anything about her we know very very little about her a neighbor who I might add sounds like a typical Beverly Hills fucking snot job said that that fucking the mother had messy hair that needed a bleach job she wore sweatpants to PTA meetings and had quote a noticeable smell I was never able to identify and I'm pretty certain it was hand lotion

wow disgusting disgusting I have to agree with the neighbor when it comes to the sweatpants at the PTA meeting you dress up but just a little bit is Beverly Hills even a spanks all right where's something because it's a thing he they fought their way up they lived in Jersey they left Jersey they lived in Princeton New Jersey which is why he was obsessed with Princeton and getting his sons to go to Princeton they moved to Beverly Hills in order to be like we're rich and we're gonna show everybody how rich we are and in Beverly Hills which is really interesting their house was notoriously tacky the inside was it was

cheaply decorated and they that's so interesting that the first thing a neighbor would said they're like describe this woman and she said messy hair and it's like that's how messy is your hair number one that's the first thing that someone says about you I think they just didn't have anything else to go on I guess just knew she had kind of messy hair yeah I mean it sounds like that her family says that she was a very private woman that she'd really had no friends she didn't really talk to anybody but Lyle and Eric's defense team who were experts at character assassination portrayed her as a bad mother and they

pulled some shit when we go into the trial in the next episode the stories that Lyle and Eric spin about their house make it sound like they were Henry Lee Lucas like they sound like they lived in squalor and insanity and it's crazy they just sold their mother down the river so hard well they already killed her yeah I mean that's when you send her down the river I guess man they shot her so many times and then when they were in the very end they just blew her face off I can't wait to get into it but I mean it does seem like a house that had too much linoleum linoleum linoleum it definitely had

wood paneling as well yeah yeah they said she was a frighteningly dangerous driver and that the floors of the house were covered constantly in dog shit and ferret feces if you have a ferret yeah you're going to get a lot of piles of ferret shit over the house because they're sneaky animals they're weasels yeah you gotta hire somebody for ferret duty all it takes is one maid whose job it is is to take care of the ferret stuff you got the money you dress her up as a ferret you have her run around she gains the other ferrets trust she teaches them how to use the toilet that could work that could work how many of

our what percentage of our listeners are cuddling a ferret as they listen to this while around nipping at your fucking nipples I feel like ferrets would go for your nipples all the time apparently ferrets are unbelievably smart creatures they can learn and they can they can use a typewriter yeah they're like they're yeah yeah the ferret feces were mostly localized to the area underneath Jose and Kitty's bed a place Lyle said he was forced to sleep when he was bad oh I forgot that he was Annie poor kid the age of 14 Lyle was supposedly still wetting his bed and when he had an accident he said his mother

would pile his urine soaked sheets on the kitchen table so the brothers would have to eat breakfast in their presence I mean you know what this kid he's balding he's pissing himself these parents have all the money in the world but quite frankly their problems are real I actually do you have a toy toy kid this is really this is probably rough to say right but Jose Menendez looked at his son that was doing this he's bald he's wetness pants and he's like I came from Cuba in a fucking raft and he was penniless do not had to teach myself English had to build myself up I had to crush other men yeah to get to this

point and I'm looking at my my kid who looks like a Burgess man but as a middle school I love Burgess love him yeah God rest God rest his soul that's paying whenever you love it and you got to say he wants to just strangle that out of him yeah he wants to make him a Cuban dictator he wants to move him from a Vega to a Castro you know I mean my father was a you know my father was an immigrant as well and there is something about immigrant parents they really are like the American dream must be achieved and they don't know how to really get it and they do sometimes rely on extreme physical abuse and again

you're in so chic to the middle of the breakfast table kind of sounds like Albert Fish like wedding decorations it really does they also said that the mother murdered Eric's pet rabbit just because they didn't want it around anymore rabbits are horrible rabbits are terrible he said that he found the rabbit dead in a garbage can with its head bashed in and all that terrible shit that we just said that was all stuff that Eric and Lyle said on the stand and these guys it's very important to say right now they are superb liars well Eric one best actor at Beverly Hills High right yeah the same high school the

Beverly Hills 90210 was set really thing I love Shannon Doherty she's saucy but I think she has a sweet spot inside of her heart she's dying she's dying yeah of cancer what yes she's gonna blame you're gonna blast me with that say she's not doing well we're like 500,000 listeners are we gonna blast me like that in public I'm just telling you she's shriveling up she's not doing very well. Shannon Doherty? yeah no Jenny Gartho nice so technically in their rivalry she's winning yeah I guess so man that's sad so Kitty's sister-in-law Marta Kanto who by the way rifled through Jose's office for insurance policies and financial

statements before her brother was even in the fucking ground said that she heard Kitty encourage the Menendez brothers to lie and she also had piles of dirty clothes all over her house I mean I would just love to hear the inner monologue of the woman rubbaging through Jose Menendez this stuff be like old dildo old dildo old dildo new dildo maybe some insurance policy yeah but how do you tell old dildo new dildo the only positive things that Marta Kanto had to say about Kitty was that she was intelligent she could move a Christmas tree from one side of the room to the other without any help and she could

put together a barbecue grill wow all by herself that's a that is big and to think we're gonna have a woman president that's amazing it's all of the family sold their these dead people down the river as soon as they could get to the stand because what we're gonna see later on is that during the trial all of these people come out of the woodwork to defend the brothers and saying that they were molested because they're all not gonna get any money if they go to jail if they go to jail that money goes someplace else it just kind of disappears into the world the insurance companies get to keep it or some bullshit I don't

know how that shit works but they are literally like so they have to they have to stick up for them oh that when they get out of jail Eric and Lyle will toss him some cash no I actually do know what happens to that 14 million dollars it goes to the ferret yeah and then the ferret yeah very happy ferret yeah what are you gonna do with all that new cat well just give it to the ferret by law now there was also a story that it this one is actually somewhat corroborated not completely but somewhat the story was that kitty thinking that Eric might be gay she gave her son a six month

deadline to find a girlfriend which he did but not surprisingly it didn't last very long great actor yeah again a fantastic actor lovely singer good hair good skin well-built hmm bachelor maybe for life however kiddies actual family who seemed to be the only even somewhat redeem redeemable people in the story besides possibly kitty herself portrayed her is a very different type of person it's even almost a sad or portrayal almost like the portrayal of her as a monster better than this portrayal which is of a pitiful woman yeah completely broken the eight-year affair that Jose carried on it broke her

into she was madly in love with this guy and the defense claimed that kitty because of that affair they claimed that she confronted Jose's mistress outside of an office building here in New York and came real close to just clawing the woman's eyes out that's cool that's kind of hot I would like to see like my current girlfriend like watching them fight the mistress and watch them win then you're like I chose you yeah but then you know then she's just gonna leave your ass anyway but yeah but then you got to see a cool fight they don't you know they don't like it's not like a hot burger yeah sprays him with a

bunch of mayonnaise okay but the mistress herself said that kitty actually just approached her on the sidewalk cordially asked her if the affair was over the mistress said yes it's over and kitty shook her hand and just walked away yeah punch right in the pussy yeah you're allowed to do that one time in fact kitty's mental state was so fragile leading up to the murders that she had recently gone through a half-hearted suicide attempt with prescription pills and was seeing a therapist at the time of the murders but it's possible that it was more than just her husband who was the cause of

her problems as soon before the murders kitty told her therapist that she was afraid her sons were sociopaths that they were narcissists and that she felt that they lack consciences or any empathy for other people whatsoever I think that if you've seen from the history of parents watching their kids grow up to be serial killers I think that that is probably right on the money where she looked at these kids and you could see the hollow eyes looking back these are two little chameleons that they have no centers they're both a love money they don't get it's like when we covered the Christopher Porco story

on the last stream on the left all of the care all they care about it is money and status and the appearance of power yeah it seems like a perfect storm of events too right yeah it absolutely does I mean this is like you know this is a another soup like we talk about it again and again serial killer soup this is a mother-father murder soup right here I mean it was more it's more of a flame and yawn that's what it is at least they got to be rich you know served in a silver terrine by a by a lovely Latina woman that you paid to do it and that brings us to the brothers themselves Lyle and Eric Menendez these guys were

essentially the archetype of rich kid bullies straight out of an 80s teen movie with the one exception that they actually weren't very popular I actually think most people like this aren't very popular right pieces the shit yeah and you know the media made them out to be like the super attractive hunky type dudes but in reality I could see them very easily just gnawing on their own nails in the corner of the classroom only talking to each other in some sort of secret verbiage yeah it's got that's a good guy I hate to in talk what is he saying to you seeing something about how I don't know about how we should blow

each other no they that's what people says that these guys were just constantly up each other's asses at all times the only friends they had were guys that were using them for their money guys with names like Donovan and Craig isn't the worst name of all time Craig man named Craig Craig from Beverly Hills the high is a piece of shit I'm gonna have to stand up to Craig I was for Craig I like Craig technically Craig is short for Craig if he oh well then I don't like Craig yeah Craig from Pittsburgh's all right Craig from Beverly Hills is terrible all right so these guys Lyle was

definitely the dominant brother who was being groomed or at least his father was trying to groom him to take his place one day he was gonna be the heir to the Coralco Pictures throne and then what he said apparently the father said to Lyle that the only son that counts as the first son yeah and he said that you're the one you have to be like the father like I wanted to be like my father and that Eric was the throwaway son yeah yeah yeah he was overly sensitive he was weak he was prone to bouts of crying and the throwaway kid label definitely came into play when the brothers had their first run in with the law in 1988 the

year before the murders the brothers sold a hundred thousand dollars in cash and jewels from a safe at the house of one of their friends it was to be the first job of two but when the friend who helped them out on the first job got cut out of the second job he ratted on the Menendez brothers almost immediately they didn't realize that if you're gonna fuck somebody over you have you have to figure out how to neutralize them yeah what you're gonna they're gonna learn later as you do it with shotguns oh okay I see but they didn't do it in this instance but no that's so that sort of makes sense that Eric is the actor and

Lyle is the more serious one yeah he's the more serious when he's the man with the plan at all he's the Eric Harris of the two yes with his little toupee so Jose paid back the cash and returned the jewels and already writing off Eric as a loss made his youngest son take the rap completely so as to avoid putting a black mark on Lyle's record right before he was about to go to Princeton yeah and if you think going to Princeton made Lyle any less of an asshole you'd be wrong yeah no shit how would that make anyone less of an ass I've never heard of going to Princeton humbling people upon arriving at his dorm Lyle found

that while he had requested a private room he found a roommate had already moved in and instead of being just a normal human being and making a phone call Lyle threw all the roommate stuff out into the hall and the RA who witnessed the whole thing said that Lyle had a quote I'll do what I want when I want attitude and this is the most American we're gonna see Lyle because that's sort of what we did to the Native Americans isn't that something well you know I do understand him being upset though if you requested the single room at Princeton and there's some random vagabond in there it's never random

vagabond it's another rich person it's another wildly rich person he was probably someone who was denied from Yale but fortunately for all of Princeton Lyle was kicked out his freshman year for cheating on a psych 101 lab and was sent back to California but while Lyle was often Princeton making life miserable for everyone around him Eric was at home working on more creative pursuits nice you see and I love a performer yeah that's what it's about is that if you can take your rage and you can take the thing that your daddy only bought you an alpha Romeo instead of buying you a Porsche the thing that you

should do is write a screenplay that's right take your rage to the stage put it to the page 1987 almost two years before the murders Eric along with his friend Craig wrote a screenplay that they called friends oh that later went on to become a very famous sitcom yes it did it did but it started as a story about a character named Hamilton Cromwell who cuts his parents' throats in order to inherit their fortune that's weird no David Schwimmer was that character I forgot and where's the monkey in it now the main character who again his name is Hamilton Cromwell I like that they were thinking like normal name what's a

normal name spit-falsing names out Craig rutabaga all right that's a fruit that's a vegetable rather let's go how about flash flash Ramirez that's close Humperdink big dick ah Humperdink big dick let's make it more American George Flushington so Hamilton looked acted and talked just like Eric this right here that we're about to read is from an L.I. Times article that sums up the plot nicely along with a little bit of dialogue from the screenplay yay the first scene opens with Cromwell reading the family will which bestows a fortune of 157 million dollars Hamilton smiles sadistically the script states nice the

next scene opens with Cromwell poised outside his parents bedroom door the door opens exposing the luxurious suite and Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton Cromwell lying in bed nice their faces are of questioning horror as Hamilton closes the door gently good evening mother good evening father his voice is of attempted compassion but the hatred completely overwhelms good evening good mother good evening father and then the scene fades the actual murder is left to the audience's imagination but a later scene shows Cromwell and his type writer writing a book stage direction zoom camera paper it reads five deaths

to perfection chapter one mr. and Mrs. Jacob Cromwell next on Cromwell's list is a former girlfriend who he kills with a rope two more killings follow that one and later he kidnaps a friend and Hamilton tells him I but the process of writing a masterpiece of a novel a novel which challenges the complexity of human understanding let us call this a game of survival I will frame either of you or your friend Joe for one to martyrs Mike with frightened disgust you're mad very good you're you are mad you've got the part that part you got all I want let's do it one more time for safety this is my big role here you're

mad very good now when Cromwell is arrested for one murder he quickly cows the police with an ironclad alibi I was at the bathroom and in the end after his five murder victims have been discovered frozen and ice in his basement Cromwell is shot and killed by one of his friends and he dies with a smile on his face later sitting in court although I'm not sure why they still have a trial even after he's dead that makes us the friend listens to a tape recorded message from Hamilton your time has come to realize her failure as a player in the game of death you must understand Mike that the price of a

player pays for failure of the game of life is death it's like a dumber saw he's like a dumber jigsaw if Elliot Rogers wrote jigsaw the character from saw that's what it would look like sound like now after the actual murders of kitty and Jose Menendez Craig the friend who helped write the script he wore a wire to try to get Eric to confess to the murders under the guise of revising the script god it's just it sounds like two comedians hanging out talking about killing yeah I mean think about this these are Eric Menendez their parents had been murdered and so Craig cuz I was like hey dude wouldn't work on friends

like yeah oh yeah actually I have a fantastic new idea for friends and I was thinking what we could do is that Eric saucilly removes his shirt in front of the pool boy and the pool boy thinks it's like oh I thought you were as straight as a razor and I say oh but I'm in fact as curly as a pig's tail we're taking the script in a different direction it's a revision you said you wanted to revise it okay I do want to hear this the lead sheriff she's like he's innocent he said he was in the shitter well when they tried to defend the screenplay during the trial one of Eric's lawyers said it's just great

writing it's just great right listen everybody read stories all right in my journal every single day you wouldn't believe the murders have to scrap the major all right how many times I say I get it crossbow I'm gonna go on a bus I'm gonna shoot people randomly on the bus I didn't say how many seconds I'm gonna say I write I write I write I write down in a piece of paper that I'm gonna murder the president with a lasso I created a writing but I think this is just creative writing this isn't mean he murdered his parents I mean he did murder his problem this is not the biggest piece of evidence against them

if he didn't go on to kill his parents that would be nothing and the first draft yes that's the problem with then it would just be a screenplay I mean technically yes it is just circumstantial evidence but it is fairly damning I'd say I think he'd be would have just kept pen to paper and stopped with the shotgun to the brain and then everything would have been just fine exactly instead of doing something destructive do something creative and how old was he when he was right in the screen thing about 15 it's just pretty good it is technically good I wrote that version of the Phantom of the opera

were the only problem with the Phantom was that he was fat different Phantom Jesus Christ man really oh yes I wrote a full manifesto about how I hated school and I didn't wash it wanted all the teachers going but this was pre-911 so I got away with it yeah I wrote I mean pre-columbine rather I wrote songs about girls I liked yes so we all wrote really stupid shit that wasn't ever gonna happen Jenny you got boobies like jelly Jenny you got butts like jelly are you trying to impress me Marcus yeah you want a pickle it's covered in dirt I think I'm gonna go hang out with Craig he's being from Beverly Hills no well

we don't know for sure what finally set off the boys and made them decide to murder their parents Jose's best friend said that their father was thinking about cutting the boys off completely of course this would be a big blow to them financially but more importantly to their personality type it would be an even bigger blow to their ego because Lyle and their classic narcissistic personality types see narcissists have extremely fragile egos and get real pissed off when their feelings of self-importance are threatened and the ego of the Menendez brothers was tied directly to their wealth and taking that

away would be taking away everything that they had it had literally was their entire personality yeah it was just rich kids yeah but I mean it wouldn't have been they still would have had a cabinet full of food a home you know a roof above their heads no you know you know we're gonna kick them out of the house would not have Rolexes and fancy shoes anymore well I don't think they'd be poor though no they absolutely of course they would be poor cutting them off means that they only get a hundred thousand dollars a year instead of three million right so because of their overbearing father who is obsessed with

their every move the brothers had no real self-esteem and according to my new psychology expert Christina you didn't just meet this woman at a bus stop she sent me an email ah and she is a psychology expert okay she's a professor I think something like that you email yourself as Christina you put on a wig and answer your own email because I believe first of all I'd like to say that your psychology opinions are spot on and I also believe that your ripple torso is exactly what I want thrusting over me as I quiver with anticipation anyway the meninas brothers were narcissistic personality pickle girlfriends just standing and watching you narrate this out loud so according to Christina

who exists parents who shield parents who shield their children from real life experience and consequence produce kids who never move beyond thinking that the entire world revolves around them right it's a very interesting soup right now this soup is a very good guy say a lime basil based soup which is the idea is that the we're already clinical narcissists which is a disease mental illness and you do you cannot understand perspectives outside of yourself and then you're not allowed to actually receive any sort of consequences or arrive to any conclusions on your own every single thing has been pumped into

your head by your father they have no concept of reality which eventually will make them realize that killing their parents is actually not an unreasonable idea yeah exactly and not only that but Eric was insanely devoted to Lyle so much so that one family members said that Eric would follow Lyle to hell even if it meant leaving heaven weird it's just to make believe places that he would go with his brother yeah it's my it's a metaphor it's a metaphor so he would follow his he would follow his brother to Detroit even if they were living in beautiful New York Manhattan that's what I was gonna say yeah yeah I mean it's

it's that's more real yeah because of this Eric was completely disconnected from anyone except Lyle which made it a lot easier to get him to go along with the plan may I stipulate something I know that they did suffer a lot they their descriptions in the trial of sexual abuse are very thorough and very intense do you believe possibly that Lyle and Eric had a sexual relationship that is I don't know somewhat possible no question does it does it make everybody hard to think of two tight brothers so close emotionally and physically maybe helping each other play in tennis yeah each other with their

back stroke exactly or fucking each other oh yeah there's a whole genre of porn out there just about this on both the straight and the gay side and a porn hub is to be believed it's very popular right now oh my part of this off the rails by the way maybe maybe we have a psychologist Christine maybe she could tell us Christina tell us Christina what do you think about Lyle and Eric's possible sexual relationship I think it's possible this is Christina writing an email in the media email I think it's possible wow that's a great character Marcus we just you know detective popcorn and

remember when he was born during the hot dog squad episodes of a BTK and now Christina as well as brother episode so the plan itself was fairly simple murder Jose and Kitty make it look like a mob hit establish an alibi and inherit the money now the mob hit thing actually worked for them because Jose did have a lot of mob connections a lot of times he had to come out and specifically say I have no mob connections I forget what he did this big luncheon with a bunch of other movie producers basically come out saying like I'm not paying the mob or anything and they all laugh and applauded because

they're all paying the mob right at this point in the early late 80s early 90s criminal activity and movie industry were really close because it's a great way to launder your money mafia can throw money into movies really easily and then it comes out the other side as profit through the movie and then they can pay him back it's probably why they made that Gina Davis Matthew Maudine film they knew it was gonna totally tank so soon before the murder of their parents Lyle and Eric drove to a big five in San Diego and purchased the shotguns they used in the murder using the idea of their friend Donovan Goodrow

now can you imagine what goes through your fucking mind that you would give your your buddy who's obviously a lizard in human skin your ID to go buy shotguns on on as you I think I actually think they stole it from him he must have yeah I'm pretty sure they stole it and that we know for a fact and as far as what happened the night of the murder though there are many different versions of what actually happened on August 20th 1989 for this episode we'll be going with a combination of a confession Eric made to a screenwriting buddy Craig combined with forensic evidence yes because they also gave to Dr. Ozil

their therapist they get Eric gave a very thorough confession but it seems like it was very strained and purposely purposely left out a lot of details they both left out a lot of details because they didn't want to really talk about how premeditated this murder was I do feel like his therapist if we would see him from the top up you got a suit jacket on a nice tie nice jacket or nice nice shirt and then we pan out we see he's got swimming shorts on and sandals he has a little sandy patch underneath his death so he always feels like he's at the beach he looks like doctors he looks like Steve Brawl yeah yeah it's

amazing it's amazing so that night the night of the murders this is what Eric said he said he came home to retrieve his fake ID so he could go out bar hop in that night rad and when he came back outside Lyle was waiting there with the two shotguns he handed one to Eric and said let's do it they walked into the house and he goes down to start having sex with them so they walked into the house burst into the living room and found their parents sitting on the couch watching the James Bond movie the spy who loved me one of the Roger Moore ones I would actually put that in the probably bottom of the list of

movies I want to be watching while getting shot I guess so top of that list little shop of horse oh that would be kind of fun actually man that's a really good choice thank you so Lyle immediately fired a shot at his father destroying the French doors behind him and hitting Jose in the left elbow and arm the next shot was fired into the chest kitty sprung up from the couch and ran down the hall Lyle turned to Eric and said shoot her see a beetle he said shoot mom yeah oh thank you yeah shoot mom so Eric trained the shotgun on his mother and hit her in the leg putting her down to the floor and as

their father lay immobilized on the couch they put they pulled up again to him and I heard that his last words were mama don't think it was Lou baga again she was more Vega than a cash I don't know so a lot walked up behind him pressed the shotgun to the back of his head and pulled the trigger blowing a hole in the back of his head the size of a fist and as a side note these types of shots in which the muzzle of the gun is pressed directly to the victim's body or head or officially known as contact wounds unofficially the LAPD refers to them as rat holes charming hell isn't that nice the LAPD is among the more charming

police departments in the United States classy can't corner the doner I was actually saying that to myself the other day just kind of giggling like can't do it I want that as a tattoo can't corner the donor every single time I feel like I can't like I can't do something and we're like can't corner the door do it now after a Lyle shot to Jose's head Eric walked over to his mother as she lay bleeding on the floor and shot her seven more times including another contact wound to the face and when police found her one eye and part of her nose was missing now if you believe Eric Eric did not actually want to kill his mom he

wanted Lyle he let Lyle do all the shooting again the very Eric and Dylan storyline where Lyle came in and started firing and it wasn't until it looked like his mom was dead that he decided to shoot her oh okay yeah that made him the good boy yeah I see yeah yeah yeah and that one eye that was missing the other eye was wide open when police found her and the only tooth that hadn't been blown out by the shotgun blast was just dangling from her guns and then the brothers then shot both parents in the knees to make it look like a mob head and then love so brilliant absolutely the dumbest thing on the planet I remember

all right now leave the manicotti on their laps yes and maybe we can make it look like they got like they eat some bad sushi order some sushi and then put this hangman's noose down there cuz then it's like the execution killer oh no no no the KKK did it yeah they did it yeah make it white black one and a white one put them in blackface no no no no that makes them racist so just to establish an alibi the brothers went to the theater to see coincidentally the new at the time James Bond film licensed to kill starring Pierce Bruntz I always have problems with people who love James Bond yeah I mean I kind of do too

it's love hate it's real weird I don't like James Bond I like Jaws I like some of the you know that the main bad one of the main bad guys yeah oh you mean the Jaws the villain the villain yeah I think some of the villains were fun yeah they absolutely were I like you yeah Q is fine yeah all bad and Austin Powers is great Austin Powers is funny doesn't happen without James Bond that is true but when the brothers arrived to watch James Bond they found that it was sold out so they settled for seeing Batman for a second time oh man but Batman I mean it's such a great movie what a good that's a good summer for movies also

UHF came out that year yes which would have been much creepier had they seen that for some reason and speaking UHF coolest shit thing we're gonna be playing the Benson ball in Washington DC on October 29th you know who else is gonna be there weird Al wow and you know he's gonna be doing what he's gonna be doing a live commentary UHF that's amazing so I do want to say this is the last podcast on the left and every show plugs their shows that they do on the road and we are plugging our show in between the Menendez brothers murdering their two parents brutally and going to see the film Batman yeah okay yes weird

Al did not kill his parents that's very sad so after they saw Batman they then went to their favorite restaurant the cheesecake factory to establish even more of an alibi where Eric started freaking out a little bit so I was like alright let's go back home and make the infamous call to 911 here it is in part a prosecutor Pam Bazanich had a chance to cross-examine Lyle she played him the 911 tape and apparently Eric ran to a tree inserted bashing his head against a tree in a gigantic theatrical showing of how sad he was so Lyle made the phone call

or that was Eric Lyle made the phone call okay not the actor of the family no you should have chosen Eric that was that was worse than the acting from the room what was it was so it's very interesting that Lyle is not the actor but I think Lyle was also more convincing on the stand too because as a non-actor he had to do we had to build himself up to the point where it was just all over the place he started being really feeling the emotions and being hysterical but when they asked some logical questions he couldn't answer anything he couldn't get a story straight Eric you can see the acting yeah

yes did I just mishear it or did he initially say I killed my parents no it's it's okay it sounded like he said I killed our I think it was an Asian I heard them speaking a language and it sounded wow that would be seven more months before the Menendez brothers would be arrested for the murders and what would follow be a media spectacle that we wouldn't see again until the trial of OJ Simpson it's unbelievable once the media found out that these trials are huge money makers they just went crazy courage rich people to kill other people it really did I mean this this is ingrained in my memory this

trial and my parents had a strong conversation about with me about if you if I was upset with them just come to them I can talk to them about anything and then there is no way you can overpower your father if you try to attack your father I will not hesitate to kill the son oh did I wanted to take some hunter safety maybe we can get a gun in the house no we ain't gonna get no goddamn son's in the house we're using whips okay yeah my parents were very I did take hunter safety my parents were very hesitant to have a gun in the house and we never did get one thank God actually said it's you started brushing

your teeth with it like you're some cartoon giant yeah yeah yeah well that is incredible so now part two is gonna come up I'm you know what no one is nice in this story everybody's a piece of shit well I feel bad for the mother yeah of course I feel bad for the mother I don't do anything to help anybody well she could have not worn sweatpants to the PTA meeting thank you kiss I mean it's very hard for you know when you're someone that's in an abusive family with an abusive it's very hard to stand up to somebody like Jose Menendez it's extremely difficult and really I mean he was he wasn't sexually abusing them I

believe that I don't I don't think he was a macho guy he was very very macho he was fucking umbrellas all over the place I eat umbrellas up his ass he had umbrellas up his pussy he didn't pussy he didn't have a pussy actually I'm not sure I think we're pretty sure I need to look at the autopsy reports before I decide whether or not Jose Menendez had a vagina so you want to get I would love to watch you get to the bottom of the JFK assassination just be like I need to see his cock I need to see his dick yeah but well well we'll see in the next episode exactly why those sexual abuse allegations are bullshit it's very

straightforward it's very easy to tell there's no evidence there's not only is there no evidence but you can find their crib notes I mean it is but we'll get into that on the second episode yeah right now we just want to thank everybody out in Baltimore coming out to the shore coming out to the show on Friday you guys are fucking amazing but most of all I want to thank all of our patreon subscribers we fucking hit $10,000 yeah I can roll thank you guys so much thank you guys so so so very much this is why we're now we're brought to you by Exxon hey thank you Exxon for your oil money we won't be able to do it and an episode

on oil spills though no we won't because they didn't happen birds are unnecessary but yeah thank you guys so much and if anybody else wants to give to our patreon you can go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left any little bit helps us out so much in our lives and thank you so much to everybody who is given and if you want to help us in a way that it's extremely free is watch last stream on the left starting on 730 Eastern Standard Time on adultswim.com if you can watch it live it helps us the numbers we need the numbers to keep going we have four more weeks that we're allowed to we're there

we're gonna do the show please allow us to subvert their airways for as long as humanly possible yes and there's nothing standard about it that's what I was saying thank you fun thing there Baltimore was amazing I want to personally thank everyone even the people who wish death upon me yeah very nice very nice no it was kind of them and the common were great also thank you mark thank you very much the common were wonderful yeah and if you want your very own last podcast on the left t-shirt go to cave comedy radio comm slash merch we're actually about to get we just worked out a deal where we're gonna

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to come three people will have to deliver it it'll be like you're getting a new mattress it's like a tub it's a huge huge glass and of course follow us on Twitter I'm at Marcus Barks I'm at Ben kissle on Instagram at Ben kissle one I'm at Henry's loves you I met Henry loves you on Twitter at Dr. Fantasty on Instagram and follow us on all things for last podcast on left at LP on the left yes and I did get a message on Twitter today said someone said listen to my first and last of a very popular podcast last podcast on the left and he didn't like that we didn't love Jesus so I do want to say though if you are a

person who loves Jesus that's fine we were very we would love you too do whatever you got I don't care love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yeah whatever you want I worship Raphael absolutely well thank you guys so much as you heard at the beginning of the show we're coming to Seattle we're coming to Portland this is gonna be fucking amazing tickets go on sale Friday cannot wait to come out to the Pacific Northwest this is the coolest fucking thing ever right hell Satan hail yourselves hell game and me and once again my goose and you fucker you are a fucker all right let's start oh I got a

shit in my butt that will come out soon welcome to this week's nice with a star mark Henry what's wrong with you welcome to this week's patreon shoutouts everybody like we said earlier thank you so much for getting us to $10,000 if you want to hear your name on the patreon shoutouts at the end of the show all you have to do is give a dollar or more over on patreon.com slash last podcast on the left and remember if we don't get to your names this week we had a long list to go through so keep listening we'll get to you eventually Henry start us up Chris Lewis you got two first names Amanda Lancaster Leslie

Rose Thomas Schumacher Nadia Morland Jessica Elmer's Helsing Adrian Renteria Brian Williamson Ian Clopton just no it's kind of fun Josh no Matt Graham all right brass bright brass Brett how do I read are these names you got names and these are attached entities letters make sounds and they all go together to four words oh I see that Bryce Laughlin thank you so much Mike McCabe thank you William Mayhall Brian Levy van vine or van dyne kind of exciting heavy Heather Countryman so thank you for your service Tony Gill Justin Teal pagers pagers you know we're not a style there Ricardo Ricardo

go Bill Bean possibly my favorite name I've ever read in my entire life Bill Bean well it's cute yes it's adorable Billy Bean Billy Bean don't be a molester rhino tool and Holly Wagner I got Ruth Ann Gallagher love women named Ruth Ann Ruth Ann I know Ruth Ann she's very sweet hello Hellscape Wendy Starr who is a producer here at Cave Comedy Radio so not only we not paying her but now she's gonna pay you now she's paying towards us it's very strange pay to play is that what that is we've got John the Giovanni Casey Clowers Anna Mica Vaughn Jessica Baldwin Jonah Cutler Tori Kronz Jessica Hickel Strom and John

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Althea Wiley of course we know Danny Webster Stephanie Fridley Hudson Austin Tom Murphy and Daniel Hawk oh Danny Hawk now death I've got here Sarah Rommel I know you hey Hail Satan hello Sarah Jared M. Crockett Alicia Gerhardt Emily Kinder Joshua Alvarez Sage Morvin Hail Satan mm-hmm Kate Bryce Morris Chris Garment Lisa Trevino Sally am I Chris Schmidt Chris Schmidt thank you am I crazier do we have like a lot of German names a lot of German names I wonder why good people good people people oh you know what I want to thank Lou Baga and all the girls of mom oh and lastly Amanda Fern Mike Slobodian Wesley

Lepinski and Brittany Bertner yeah Brittany Bertner Hail Satan thank you guys so much honestly it helps us so much and it's it's beautiful it's a beautiful thing and we're gonna keep on trucking along we're now literally doing up to three hours of just shows per week now but we live shows last stream and the podcast so we are working harder for the dollar hollow for the dollar what yeah yeah thank you guys so much for giving for everything yeah we're putting out a shit ton of content and the reason why is because you guys are given to us and the more you get to us the more content we can do so yeah harder our nipples get

the fuller our balls get I've never had a hard nipple before really yeah weird my nipples are pretty much racer sharp all the time yeah I had some real hard nipples yesterday huh well well hail yourselves everybody thank you so much inhale game make good stillations everyone I got a lesson for more shows like the one you just listened to go to cave comedy radio calm