Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 240: The Black Monk of Pontefract

Episode Date: September 15, 2016

It's one of world's least known yet most interesting and ultimately most adorable poltergeist cases on this week's show with the Black Monk of Pontefract, in which not only a family but an entire town get in on the act. Local Forecast - Slower Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Sidewalk Shade Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licens

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Yeah, it's insane that he forgot. We did our time. We did the September 11th episode. We already did it. We celebrated it. We're done. We didn't celebrate it. We acknowledged it. Are we good to go? We're good to go, man. Welcome to the show, everyone. I am Ben Kissel. That's Marcus Parks. Who do we got here? I live in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Lovely neighborhood. We're neighbors. Right across each other. It's lovely. I get to see you when you were literally half drunk running to work,

obviously late. Intoxicated on my way to work? Intoxicated. You look flush as if you've been drinking and then running. There is an older woman that lives in the bottom floor of my apartment building, and she does this thing where she stands outside of the apartment building, or at this corner store around the corner for me, going... Oh yeah, the Williamsburg Rooster. Essentially. She makes this noise to everybody who passes, and everyone goes...

You know, it's weird. She's obviously very deep into dementia. Her family doesn't visit her, so you just give her this pleasure. But what she started to do that makes me feel really fucking uncomfortable, is that now she's added a new thing to the noise. Where she goes... Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby. I like it. And makes like, humping, weird sex gestures.

I tell Natalie this, and she's like, oh my god, I hope she hasn't been sexually assaulted. And my thing is, is that if she has been sexually assaulted... I don't think that's the case. I think she liked it. Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby. It was not an assault, it was an erotic encounter. It just happens sometimes with dementia patients, that sometimes sexuality gets latched on.

They put that in there, and it just becomes a part of their repertoire. Maybe she just listened to that Rolling Stones song. Isn't there a line in there about the colored girl singing? Can you say that anymore? No. And that's Lou Reed, that's off the album. Oh my god, I don't know. You can walk on the wild side.

You can walk on the wild side. Whatever. Do you think a dude? That's what I'm thinking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No man, I'm just kind of really haunted by it. I don't like any old people being all sexy. I don't think she's being sexy, she has dementia.

I know, but she thinks she is. Well, she needs to work it. I'm happy for her. I just want her to have a great life and a bunch of fun. And it sounds like she is. I don't think she is. She's left alone. She's singing on the board.

She's not singing. She's making unconscious noises and sexual advances towards a man on the street. It's reverse cat calling. She's owning it. Thank you. Alright, so now today's story, this is speaking of hauntings. This is what is just as terrified, but also kind of just as adorable.

We're talking about the Black Monk of Pontifract. Now Black Monk does sound like the idea of when they revamp Monk in two years from now. Oh, the hit show. The young Donald Glover. Yes, of course. Or the wonderful album by the Monks, Black Monk Time. It's a wonderful album. But anyway, the Black Monk of Pontifract case occurred in Yorkshire, England in the late 1960s.

It is a poltergeist case. And while it is not the most well-studied by the paranormal community, it is nevertheless one of the most bizarre and ultimately somewhat adorable poltergeist cases ever recorded. He is a real naughty little priest. And aren't they all? Now is a Monk is a Monk a priest? A Monk can be a priest. But you're always a Monk.

You're always a Monk. So you work at Burger King and be a Monk. Some Monks are priests, not all priests are Monk. Okay. Priest is a job. Monk is a lifestyle. I see. What I love about this case is that it's largely unproven to be a hoax, which is really nice.

It's like Amityville has been fucking blasted all over the place. Sure. Every other big haunting you hear about it has always been like, you know, it's like, oh, it's the teenage daughter, and it's got a loudspeaker in the attic. And it's like, no, this is a, he's always that. It was a Scooby-Doo episode you remember. He always turned into a Scooby-Doo episode. Yes.

This has been, this is pretty legitimate. Well, the reason why the Black Monk of Pontifract case is different from all the rest of the Pultergeist hauntings is that usually Pultergeist hauntings, you just have the testimony of the family. That's it. Sure. You just have a family like kind of a son, a daughter, parents. They're usually the only ones that, like for example, the haunting that was that Conjuring 2 was based on. Yes.

Like that haunting was just, I mean, all you have is the family and the warrants. We know the warrants are full of shit, but the family, you don't necessarily know with them. But this case, this is like a whole town got in on this. They all were, their neighbors were into it. They had a local paranormal investigator who shot up in the middle of the night who was into it. The vickers were scared of the house. They said the house glowed. It's like crazy shit.

So the whole town was scared by this house. So you're telling me a Hillbilly town in England in the 1960s all believed the same bullshit. Yes. Is that what we're talking about here? They did not have a PR person. Oh, I see. Yeah. I mean, when people go and talk to the town of Pontifracture, at least when they went in the 70s and 80s,

they said that when they talk to neighbors, when they talk to townsfolk, they actually told the story as if it actually happened to them. It was stuff where it was like, oh, do you remember when the grandfather clock fell down? It's like, oh yeah, that was around September. I actually know that was around October when Jerry's sister came to visit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're getting a hug. You should give yourself a bit of a bopper. You got to walk for yourself. Well, this is just a fun little bar, isn't it? You got to watch yourself getting there. You're getting there. You're ripping around your hippie eggs. And you're going out.

You don't even know where you got to do yourself. All right. It must sort of be an Australian transplant as well. I can't wait to get a little bit of that local color when we come to the UK here in a couple of weeks. This town does sound like an extremely strange town to stop in. If you're just a random traveler coming through, it reminds me of that great film, Hot Fuzz. Yeah. Do you remember that strange townfolk?

The cop was right. Well, Pontefract is an ancient town in Yorkshire that has its origins when the Romans ruled over Britannia from the years 1090 until 1539. Pontefract was home to a monastery filled with violent monks. Yeah, these were war monks. Technically, it's called paladins if you're a Dungeons and Dragons plan. Oh, cool. It was rumored that one of those monks raped and strangled to death a young local girl

and for his crimes was hung from the gallows that sat atop the highest hill in Pontefract. But built on the site of these gallows where the titular black monk of Pontefract was supposedly hung was the residence of Jean and Joan Pritchard, their son Philip and their daughter Diane, 15 and 12 when the poltergeist activity began. Well, technically, the house was built on the area of where a stream and a bridge were located right underneath the hill where the gallows were. And also, technically, it may not have been the monk himself that raped and murdered the woman was hung for it, but possibly his brother murdered and raped the girl vice versa.

And then he went and took the punishment for his brother. We got a vice versa situation. I'm going to say if you're an officer, any monk will do. You know a monk raped and killed a girl. Just go grab one and hang them. So it is possible that this poltergeist was actually a wrongly convicted murderer. It could mean that he was just a cool monk. Well, I'm going to go with that theory.

Yeah, I like that better. Yeah, let's go with that theory. So the entire area of Pontifract is actually rife with ghost activity. Daughter Diane herself once saw two women floating for 15 minutes over the grass outside of an abandoned hospital. But Diane had a lot of witchy shit going on in general because she also, when she was sick, she said she saw an old lady dressed in gray standing outside of her parents' bedroom door. No! That was just their grandmother banging on the window trying to get in because it was raining.

Help! Give your grandmother. I did just picture Minnie and Nanny floating down the river for 15 minutes. I'm Nanny! No, you're my sister! I'm Nanny! This is my sister Nanny! Someone get us rags!

I'm Nanny! Just 15 minutes of that would inspire a poltergeist. So the Pritchard family itself, not just Diane, the entire family seems to have had a fair amount of poltergeist run-ins. Diane's Aunt Christine ran into a fair amount of poltergeist activity in a pub called the Golden Lion that she ran. And all this occurred in and around the town of Pontifrag because the town may be one of those places that has an unusually large amount of haunted ground

because some paranormal experts say that land can retain impressions of negative energies sometimes for as long as hundreds of years. I thought you were going to say it had a higher impression of alcoholism, which I think it might be positive. I mean, the sea and ghosts, those are called trails. That's because your eyes are dying. The fucking rods and cones are being killed by the fucking alcohol cells in your body. It could either be trails or it could just be your son trying to get you out of the bar.

Help! Help! Just people saying help, banging on the windows. Let them in! Thousands of ghosts! Also, apparently there is a gigantic natural water source underneath the town and we're discovering a lot when we talk about aliens and big-foot sightings and triangles like the Bridgewater Triangle and the Bermuda Triangle.

Places with a lot of water and also fresh water underneath the ground are also a lot of times centers for a lot of paranormal activity. Yeah, some people say that water actually retains paranormal activity. It retains the energy that is sometimes exuded by paranormal goings-on. Is it possible that it's also pollutants in the water that are tripping out the townsfolk? Well, there may be a little bit of LSD in the water. We don't know for sure. We don't know. It's dirty.

That's what I'm talking about. England is a dirty place. It's a beautiful place. Now, that haunted ground in and of itself is not enough to cause poltergeist activity, but when it is combined with intense emotions exuded by the right person, then that's when you get a good poltergeist soup going. What we should talk about is this episode comes, a lot of the research for this episode comes from Colin Wilson's Poltergeist.

It was just a fantastic book about poltergeist activity. So cool. I absolutely love it and he has a really unique theory that also mixed with this guy, this paranormal expert named Guy Playfair. Guy Playfair? Yes. He needs to be arrested. They're British.

He is guilty until proven innocent. As long as he's a person that doesn't wear overalls with no clothes on underneath it, we're fine. I'm just saying, it's like Guy, you know, all your pants don't have zippers, and he's just like, I just told him I didn't need one. I don't need them to just lie to loose. They loose so they could just fly off me like ghosts themselves. Well, paranormal expert Guy Playfair,

he likened these intense emotions to a soccer ball. See, a disturbed soul will exude psychic energy at times of extreme psychological distress, which will draw the attention of spirits or complimenting energies. And he said it forms into like a little ball, like it kind of pops out of them like it's an egg or a shit. Really? A circular soccer ball sized dookie.

This is like a dookie of energy. And this dookie of energy just sits on the living room floor, like you had Albert Fish staying at your house. Sure, okay. Right, you're sitting on the floor, and then the idea is that some kind of loose spirit would come and play with this energy ball until they were done with it. Yeah, they just come in, have a little fun, kick it around,

maybe get a little bit out of hand, and then move on to whatever it is they were doing with that day. Sounds like what people do in solitary confinement. Yeah, but with their own dookie. That's what I'm saying. We've ever read any books by Jean Genet? Jean Genet? He was a famous French dude back in the early 1900s,

and he would write things in his own shit all the time in solitary because he was arrested for being a homosexual. We had a kid when we were in junior high that used to do that. He used to just write, this is my shit on the walls of the bathroom. That's just your talent. It does not make him an artist. Well, it's got to be difficult when a kid does write,

this is my shit in his own dookie because he's not wrong. Do you scold him or do you appraise him? It's sort of like that painting, this is not a pipe. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of post-modern. I kind of give him a little bit of credit for that. Yeah, but so then how many melons did he fuck, and when did he get hit by the truck that ended his life? That would be the way he goes.

My truck! Why you ain't slowin', huh? Well, the thing about Poltergeist is that if they are actual entities, essentially they have the mentality of a super dumb kid who doesn't really know how to express himself properly. He wants attention, but nobody, including the kid, really knows why he wants it. Because all Poltergeist ever really seem to want

is to make trouble for whoever it is they happen to be fuckin' with. There's a generally understood theory that a lot of times, Poltergeist are psychokinetic activity that comes from, a lot of times girls specifically going through puberty. When their bodies are changing, they create this energy, kind of bounces around the house. It's sort of what Colin Wilson talks about, it's like uncollected psychokinesis.

But the problem is that what Colin Wilson has discovered is that that works for like 75% of these cases. But something like the Black Monkey Pontifract, seems like he called this concept of elementals, like fairy energies, alien energies. When we talk about when people see shit out in the fucking English bogs and they're like, it was a wick-a-snit! But someone else would see it and they would see it as a gray.

It's these weird nuisance energies that can kind of show up and find these little dookie balls of energy and use it to play with it. You would draw them. Now, but this isn't necessarily a nefarious activity, right? It's more of an annoying little brother or something like that. Well, they hurt you physically? Most of the time not.

The weird thing about it is that they'll throw things at people, like for example, Diane once had a dresser drawer thrown at her. But usually the kinetic energy, for some reason, it will stop just short, it will stop a millimeter away from them, and it will just kind of knock them. That's fun! Yeah, it is kind of fun. It's like having a cat, but you don't have to feed the damn thing.

But it's so scary, but it's happening all the time. You can't sleep. You know what I mean? A cat shows love. No, cats are terrible creatures. Well, I do love cats, and if you love cats, I love you too. But for the most part, I think I'd rather have a Casper the Friendly Ghost or a Pontifract, a monk from there.

You know, it's because some dead rapist fucking monk. He was innocent! Well, I mean, when he talks about the 70% being this psychokinetic energy, a lot of times where these things actually happen, some spooky shit went out at one point, or some very violent shit went down. But on the other hand, most places in England, if they've been inhabited for a very long period of time,

you know, violent shit's going to happen everywhere. All of these houses in England, I'm hearing, are like a thousand years old. When we say something's old, in America, it's like 65 years. It's like maybe, because then I'm like, tear it down. It's old. Get a new one. No, poltergeist hauntings occur in stages and often have a fairly extended ramp-up period.

Stage one is known as the latent dormant passive stage. And in this stage, nothing super weird happens. It's usually pets acting weird, like they'll bark at nothing. They'll stare and growl at an object that nobody can see. You'll also get cold spots around the house, which means that the temperature will drop in a certain area for no reason. I grow more hair. Isn't that something?

I've been growing more hair as it is. I'm starting to think there's a bit of a ghost walking around my house. I got new hair in my arm area. Between on my bicep area here, I got all this new hair, brand new hair. You're going through puberty part two. No! This is the sequel. It actually gets worse.

You're going through Polish puberty. Come back next week and I'm just like... 32 years old and you get hairier and hairier. Come back next week and I'm just like, Everybody, so you guys like Amy. Sometimes girls make me feel different. I like this new Henry. Stage two is the obvious detectable present stage.

Cold spots will get bigger, sometimes covering entire rooms. And unexplained scratches, gashes, or cuts also start to appear on walls, furniture, or even people. Now, is it possible that cold spots are they ghost toots? Is that a possibility? As you pee in the pool, it will warm. Ghosts when they fart because they live in the opposite world. Their farts are cold and not hot. And they smell good.

Okay, yes, it's true because he also delivered a scent of flowers. Actually, it works. It makes sense. It does work. But, stage one, stage two. The Black Monk of Pony Frack, Poltergeist, as far as we know, skipped right past stages one and two and came in hard on stage three, the increased kinetic activity stage.

It also does sound like a really good Kevin Hart paranormal spoof movie. It does. Now, the haunting began in August of 1966, right when son Phillip was hitting puberty. Now, Phillip was a sullen teenage boy who liked books and music and didn't get along with his father, who was more of a man's man footballer type. But, when you say footballer, you mean English football, which is soccer. Soccer, yeah, soccer.

Yeah, so thank you. Let's just degrade the man-man part, just a touch. Now, the first incident occurred one day while Phillip was at the house alone with his grandmother. Phillip said he walked into the room where his grandmother was knitting and saw a white chalky powder floating down through the air. And when he walked closer, he saw that the powder wasn't falling from the ceiling, but rather from a point about five feet up from the floor

as if there was a portal above his grandmother's head, salting her with chalk dust. The grandmother walked across the street to her daughter's house to get another witness to the phenomenon, and when they came back, the powder was still falling. And we're talking about, they said that he covered all the services. It literally filled her coffee cup. She had a coffee cup that was up to an inch of powder.

It was falling hard in there. It was standing next to fucking Alan Thick when he's combing his hair. Oh, yeah, I love Alan Thick. Does Alan Thick have really bad dandruff? We don't know with that hair. I assume. Yeah, it's possible. Now, when the grandmother walked to the kitchen to get a broom

to clean up all this chalky dust, she almost slipped and fell on a large puddle of water on the kitchen floor. She got a towel and mopped it up, but as soon as she squeezed out the cloth, another pool appeared. And then another, and then another, and then another. Every time she mopped one up, another pool would appear. Same thing happened with my grandmother. Yeah.

But it was something. Yes, pee-pee. Exactly. The old pool warmer. I think the, is it possible the house has just decayed? Absolutely not. They checked underneath the linoleum and found that it was, yeah, I mean, yeah, Ben, if it was just that,

the whole story would be over. Yeah, the whole story would be over. And he turned out the house needed to be fixed, and that's what they did, and that's the end. Thank you. They should have called it an elbow, it was from Too Old Time, and he would have fixed up the house just fine.

Please donate to our Patreon. We did a lot of work on this week's episode. The house was, it was a creaky house. No, they checked underneath the linoleum and found that it was completely dry underneath. They even called out the water board. Okay. They called out the guy from, you know, the local water board

and said, like, man, listen, you need to come check this out. This is super weird. He came and found there was absolutely nothing wrong, and the pools themselves were in such a neat outline as to make it impossible for them to have been poured from above. There was no splash, there was no nothing. They just appeared out of nowhere and grew in a perfect circle, and every single time that they would wipe it away,

it would grow into the same circle, and it would appear all over the house. And they said, this is a factor in poltergeist hauntings. This has happened before, but it's very rare. And it's also this weird explanation. What is this? The guy Playfarer thinks that the water is some kind of condensation caused by the poltergeist energy moving through the environment.

I don't know. It wasn't really explained all that clearly. It makes sense to me. Yeah, maybe it was a little pool for ants. That is cute. That's kind of fun. You just live in a world of whimsy, don't you? Every day.

Yeah. You're crying. No, that's all nothing but joy here. Now, later on that night, things started getting a little weirder. Phil and his grandmother watched as the button on the tea dispenser started moving in and out, in and out, all on its own, squirting tea onto the counter and continuing even after all the tea was gone.

Listen how it sounds when I read it like this. Okay. Moving in and out, in and out, on its own, squirting tea out onto the counter, and it continued even after all the tea was gone. Someone's doing a good job. That tea is loving it. And remember, when you hear that,

remember it's Phil and his grandmother watched. Naughty, naughty grandma. Deleted scene from Harold and Maude, perhaps. What is a tea button? A tea dispenser. It's like just one of those things where you put tea in it and you're able to push a button and it comes out. What?

It just keeps a pump in there. What? It's like a coffee pump. Yeah, it's like a coffee pump. This is an old technology. I actually do not remotely understand what this is. I don't know. I don't get it.

It's a tea dispenser. You push the button and the thing comes out. Yeah, you push the tea. Do you know what doorknobs are? Yeah, okay, think about it this way. Now think it's coffee. Okay, now I make sense. Tea is coffee to the Brits.

Soccer is football to them. You have to remember this when you go there. It's upside down. Yes, it's a different place. And then after all the tea was gone, they heard a crash from the hallway, opened the door and saw the light go on all by itself to show that the potted plant

that normally stood halfway up the stairs was now at the bottom minus the pot, which was at the top of the stairs. Oh my God, it's all wrong. It's just like you got Clifford in there. It's ridiculous. And then back in the kitchen, the cupboard started shaking and vibrating

as if somebody was trying to get out. That was really scary. So basically it all died down, right? And so Grandma and Philip decided to go to bed. And Grandma, you know, of course, you have to dress Philip completely down to his nudeness. And yes, he's 15 years old, but he's still your little grandson.

And so she made sure to powder his bottom and she clipped his toenails and she sucked on his fingers a little bit and made him go to sleep because that's how he had him go to sleep. And then finally she left him alone and he sat there in the bedroom and watched as it looked like

something was inside the cupboard, just literally going, back and forth. Yeah, that was the wardrobe. That was the wardrobe. And then literally they just ran out of house and were like, we're going to go stay at the Catholics across the street.

Yeah, yeah, they went over and stayed at their daughter's house. Because the whole family lived all around there. It was a wonderful little neighborhood. It does sound exciting. It sounds extremely fun though as well. I do wish I was the black monk. I mean, it seems like he was having a great time

pumping the tea, putting the plant in the pot all wrong. It just sounds like a large Lenny type man going, I'm alive now. Look, I'm alive now, I'm lucky, I'm a sweet plant, I'm a sweet tea. Why not? And the next day they woke up,

went and got the neighborhood ghost expert, Mr. McDonald. This is literally like the burbs. Yeah. And it was like, you know who would be into this, Mr. O'Donnell. Mr. O'Donnell loves talking about ghosts. And they go over and they just so happen to be,

his light is on at 12.30 at night, because he's literally waiting for someone to come and tell him there's a ghost to investigate. I feel like this town might not have a dentist. Perhaps there's no doctor, but it does have a ghost expert. So they knew what was important. Yeah, they knew exactly who they needed to go and talk to. So Mr. McDonald came over and immediately recognized this

as poltergeist activity. But he went, searched the house, found nothing, and nothing happened. And I love this story, because they really sat, they had a cuppa and they sat at the table and he was just like, all right, well, because the activity had died down. And he's like, you know what's really weird though,

it's like one thing you'll notice about poltergeist activity, let me do it again, normal. You know what you notice? Yeah. When something's really strange about paranormal activity is a lot of times poltergeist will rip up important photographs to you. So hopefully nothing like that happens.

As he's walking out the door, they hear a crash upstairs. Their wedding photo, the preacher's wedding picture had fung across the room. The glass had shattered and the picture was cut up, like literally like it was cut up with a knife. I was like, spread all over the floor. You can't fake that. There's no way he had a string tied to his shoe.

As soon as he started walking, shattered the glass. A string tied to his shoe? That would work. Tie the string to the painting. What did he tell him? Like he came and said, oh, look over there. And then when they were looking over there, he tied the string to his shoe and the other one to the big hole.

Give it a bit of a toy to the string, a bit of a snippity, a snippity, a bit of a string away, Mr. O'Donnell go. That's how it works. If you have someone to look over there, you have at least five seconds to tie a string to your shoe. Yeah, to tie a string to your shoe, tie the other end to the picture.

But not only that, but take the picture out of the frame, cut it up into a bunch of pieces, and then glue it back on to make sure that no one notices that it's cut up, but not glue it so much. Grandma got stuck in the bathroom. The boy had to help her. Boom, he knows he's got 15 to 20 minutes. You can say that they went up there

and they fucked each other. Grandma and grandson. No, I don't know. No. You made a leap. You made a leap. Come on, you need help. Yeah.

You woke up in a little Rascals universe today. You know what? You never know what universe you're going to wake up into. Then after the whole incident with the picture, nothing happened for two years until Diane's puberty kicked in real hard. You know what it sounds like, right? A-s-a-very-way.

It sounds like a Model T. I'm going to be late to work. I'm late to being a woman. Oh, come on. Now, the Blackmonk case is somewhat unique in that it seems as if there are actually two separate agents of focus. Agents of focus are the people that the poltergeist activity centers around.

The first agent was Philip, who's haunting lasted no more than 24 hours. The second was Diane, who's haunting would last around nine months. Because there's another paranormal expert. What he says is that ghost-hot house poltergeist haunt people. Which makes a lot of sense.

And that's what he's talking about, the mixture of weird psychokinetic activity that comes from kids' bodies changing mixed with maybe there's some sort of entity that can use that energy to interact with their environment and just so happen that the little girls' eggs were more supple and fertile than the spermys inside of the boy. I guess the ghost had a type. I think it's disgusting that these ghosts are doing that

to children. Thank you. I'm against. This ghost should be hung again. Now, it began with noises, the kinds of banging and knocking that has come to typify poltergeist activity. And this is actually where the word poltergeist comes from. Pulture, meaning noisy in German, gaste, meaning ghost.

The Germans came up with this? Yeah. You can't trust this. Portuguese. Now, then after the noises came the electrical disturbances. Now, naturally, since poltergeists are beings of energy, if they are in fact beings, electrical disturbances are just as common as the bangs and knocks.

See, lights will flicker on and off. Appliances such as the tea dispenser will start to work on their own. And in modern times, computers can show signs of activity with nonsense messages appearing in instant messenger chats. Oh, like when somebody has a Nigerian scam. Kind of, yeah. It's like spam email.

Yeah. Thousands of African ghosts. Yes. Also, what was interesting is they said that the Pritchard house, they said that during the nine months of their haunting, they only paid half as much on their electric bill as they had in previous years. And they said they have no reason why.

They were using the same amount of electricity, and they kept going to the electric company and being like, we're honest people. We normally pay this amount of money on our bills. It's half that. And they're like, you know, that's what the meter's saying. So the ghosts help the economy. I guess so.

Yeah, the ghosts saved them on their electric bills. Well, it seems like they had to go and tell the electric bill that a half of the electricity was being used by their neighborhood ghost, and then they were only using the other half. And they'll charge them. That's a tough sale. Absolutely.

That's a tough sale. But the electrical company believed them? The electrical company did believe them. The electrical? What do you call it? The other weird electrical disturbance thing that can happen with Poltergeist activity is that appliances that aren't plugged in

can operate on their own as what happened in my hometown Poltergeist case that happened in the house that was built right down the road from Idella, the children's cemetery. In that case, there was a children's... I've talked about the children's cemetery. No, I know. I'm just saying that you didn't tell us

they built a house on top of it. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was like a quarter mile down if that walking distance easily. I always find it very inappropriate that they put those slides into the top of the graves to put the cask in. Oh, yeah.

That wasn't right. Now, in that case, in my hometown case, in addition to the knocks and such, they used to have this old radio that would turn on in the middle of the night and play old music from the 40s. They'd have all the knocking and banging. And that family, actually, they left one night

in the middle of the night and never returned. In fact, when we were kids, we used to go to the house. The entire house was still full of furniture, full of their clothes, brand new clothes, too. They just left and never came back, and they never told anybody what happened that night. I thought that was just Texas moving. Yeah, that is a Texas move.

Them furniture's are going to follow us. You'll see. They got minds of their own, like that movie Beauty and the Beast. It's possible. It is possible. But back in Potifrac, the first physical manifestations began

when Mother Jean found her daughter's bedspread sitting at the bottom of the stairs. She took it back up to Diane's room, heard a crash from outside and found her son Philip's bedspread where Diane's just was with another potted plant lying broken next to it. And that night, Jean woke up from bed,

walked out to the landing, and felt a cold chill. And at that moment, a paintbrush flew past her face followed by a paste bucket that had been used to replace their wallpaper. She ducked and saw, moving in the darkness, a long strip of wallpaper standing on its end like a cobra swaying back and forth. She grabbed it, and at that same moment,

a carpet sweeper floated up into the air and started swinging around. So she dropped the wallpaper snake and crawled on all fours back to the bedroom with the wallpaper given chase behind her. She shut the door and screamed, which brought the kids out of their rooms who'd started to get the shit beat out of them

by the painting supply. But that's again what you were saying before. It didn't seem like the Poltergeist was trying to hurt anybody because what Diane said is that when the paintbrush hit her in the face, it felt like a... like kind of like if you ever, you know, put your penis on a woman's face. Or something you do that you go like a pip,

like a little like a little like a pip. Yeah, a playful pip. A playful pip. Yeah. This does sound like a great time. Yeah, and then the Poltergeist focused on Diane's room, ripped the curtain rod off of the wall and threw it out the window.

Father Joe slammed the door shut, and when Diane went to grab the handle, he yelled at her, Stop! Don't touch it! And as she drew her hand back, there was a loud thump on the other side of the door as if the Poltergeist was communicating and was in fact Diane who he was there for.

Wow. They said a lot of crazy shit happened, and so then now it's like entering into stage four of the Poltergeist is that they would find that doorknobs would be covered in marmalade and toilet paper. Oh, that just happens every night at my house. That's not so bad.

That's called walking drunk. Oh, I see. Yeah, stage four is the intelligent individual targeting stage, which is exactly what it sounds like. This is when the psychokinetic activity truly begins when objects start to fly around the room on their own accord and large objects will slide across the room to trap people.

For example, one night Diane actually became trapped in the corner of a room under a pile of heavy furniture and she was struggling to get loose, but as soon as she relaxed, the furniture moved back to its regular place, and Diane, who had had a gigantic wardrobe and a sewing machine piled on top of her moments earlier, she didn't even have a bruise from the experience.

That's crazy, and maybe a couch was sitting on top of her. And that's not the way it's supposed to go. You're supposed to sit on top of a couch. That's kind of fun. It is, it is fun. Diana, you're the couch. And then the couch was like, you're the couch now, girl. Someone get this tall red-headed man out of our home.

No, I'm a couch. See, behavior like this, when witchy gets furniture piled on her but she doesn't get any bruises, this is why Colin Wilson compares poltergeist to schoolyard bully. See, bully, he's gonna fuck with you. He might do this.

Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. But he's not gonna really hurt you all that badly because if he hurt you, then the authorities would notice that he's fucking with you. And with poltergeist, we don't really know who the authorities are, but poltergeist never really seem to hurt people all that much.

Not in at least legitimate cases. When people get really hurt in poltergeist cases, then more often than not, those are the fake ones. They're trying too hard. Right. If I were to pick a boss, I imagine their boss is Loki. Could be.

I mean, the one great thing, there's no better defense than they hit themselves defense. If you do want to hurt somebody, you have them hit themselves, and then in the court of law, you didn't do anything. They did this to themselves. Chape a knife to a person's hand.

Have them stab themselves. Stabbing yourself. Stabbing yourself. That would work. I mean, but also it's about, maybe that's where the locus of the poltergeist is in fact inside of Diane and the fact that she can't really hurt herself.

It's still her family. It's also that somehow it's directed by her own personality, where it's about reaching out for attention. Yeah. I mean, for example, as far as the weird stuff that happens to Diane, one night she got thrown off of her bed onto the floor, her mattress shot up in the air and landed on top of her.

That happened four times. I feel terrible for this girl. She's going through an horrific physical change. Well, I mean, speaking of physicality, I mean, both her and Phillip, they would keep, they always complained about the area around their solar plexus. You know, right below the chest where the stomach starts,

they talk about it feeling twisted up inside, especially when activity was about to occur. They always knew when something, they always knew in their chest when it started feeling weird that some shit was about to go down. So literally it was like they were getting their belly sucked on, like the ghost was some big Jimmy Savile.

Oh, it could be. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing, is that they say like some of the experts that came in and by experts, I mean this woman named Mrs. Holden that lived down the street, the thought she was a psychic. Yeah, exactly. She was a psychic.

Yeah, she thought that the ghost was actually drawing energy from the children, and that's why. Because I mean, I think the solar plexus, it has to, like that's a chakra thing, right, Henry? Yeah. We'll say, yeah, and kids do have a lot of energy. When we did our open lines thing for Serious Radio,

we were talking to the people who worked in the hospital and children died. They did report how energy leaving their bodies as opposed to when the elderly die, they're already kind of dead. Yeah, because nobody cares, yeah. Yeah, but despite all the activity that seemed to be getting more and more dangerous,

the Pritchards never thought once about moving and eventually gave the Poltergeist the name Mr. Nobody before eventually settling on Fred. Well, what they said was that they did not feel threatened. They said that with this entity, whatever was happening inside the house is like they felt like it was really just trying to annoy them. They never felt really scared.

I mean, it was scary, but it was like they didn't feel like they were in danger. Yeah. But the wallpaper had to be off the walls constantly. All the couches and TVs were all messed up. I mean, didn't they get upset with that? I mean, it was a huge pain in the ass, but they were also very stubborn people from Yorkshire.

And trust me, I dated a woman from Yorkshire. If they don't want to do something, they're not going to do it. She kept you with her for years. Yeah, kind of haunted in his own right. Yeah, especially like if you want to leave her. If she don't want you to go, she's not going to let you go. You're safe now. You're okay.

Alice doesn't live here anymore. No, she's way gone. Also, they said that Mrs. Pritchard was a big, very, very neat woman. And she said there's something about the ghost must have like really fucked with and knew that Mrs. Pritchard was a very tidy woman because he would do stuff like spreading dirt all over the place. Oh, yeah.

Like really badly messing shit up, like exploding cups of coffee, coffee getting everywhere. And she would not go to sleep unless she cleaned the mess. She literally have to like get up. It's like my mom, my mom does the same shit where she just literally, my mom's a midnight cleaner. Well, all of a sudden she's vacuuming and stuff, but it's all because it's so weird.

That's a bit anxiety thing. A midnight cleaner? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? Like she would get up at like midnight and start vacuuming? She's just waiting for his dad to come home. Pretty much. And also she was mad at us.

Whenever she was mad at us, you'd be like, I'm the only one who ever does anything around here. It's like I'm an army of one. Sounds like a crystal meth addict. Yes. I mean, as far as, you know, like speaking to them, not really feeling threatened as the haunting went on, Fred actually seemed to be like more playful than harmful.

See, like one day he swept up a plate of chicken sandwiches and threw them behind the TV. That's when Mrs. Holden was actually visiting one day. And when Jean went and picked up the sandwiches, she saw that there'd been a big old bite taken out of one of them by something that looked like it had gigantic teeth. Well, that's kind of horrifying. That is horrifying.

Yeah. And then when Mrs. Holden, she took it. She's like, oh, can I have that? I'd like it for my collection. When she went home with the sandwich, the sandwich crumbled into nothing. Ooh. That's a good sandwich, actually.

No, it's not a good sandwich. That's a great sandwich. No, it's like an airport sandwich. Oh, I love, I always love to get a sandwich, unwrap it, and it's a little wet. That's what I like. It feels like it's humid in there. Do you remember when it was dry?

When we spent 12 hours in the airport, all wet sandwiches. Now, on another night, a friend of the Pritchards came over for tea after the local Working Men's Club's Ladies' Night. A lot of pronouns in there. Working Men's Club's Ladies' Night. Yeah, the Ladies' Night at the local Working Men's Club.

Oh, I see. I know what the Working Men's Club is. Male prostitute club. Yes, it sounds about right. Oh, yeah, they were miners. There was a lot of mining going on in Pontefract. And the lights turned off as they were having tea after this Ladies' Night when they were sitting in the lounge

and the friend that came along so that she felt her hair was swarming with ants. And when the lights turned back on, the entire room was turned upside down. And shit like that happened all the time. This is so exciting. Yeah. This is a haunting.

It's a fucking full-boiled circus. What if you nail the things down to the ground, pull some trickery on the ghost? What is wrong with you people? You guys come insane. You can't nail every... What are you gonna nail down, cups? No, I'm gonna nail down the wallpaper.

I'm gonna nail every inch of wallpaper down. The ghost is winning. That just means you're covering your walls and nails. No, it means I'm out thinking the ghost. You've just gone insane. The ghost has won. The ghost did exactly what it wanted to do. Yeah.

It's nice to have a ghost. You're just lonely. Yeah. No, I'm not that lonely. Yeah, you're not that lonely. No, I'm not lonely at all, technically. There's always people around me. It makes it never leave.

Yeah. You know, it's like there's a lady over the house. Yeah. Yeah, you got shit going on. I got my mouse pudgy. Yeah. He's doing great, by the way. I saw him the other day.

Every time... This is not a lie. Every time I order Papa John's, Pudgy comes around. It's fucking very weird. We lived like the biggest drunkest Cinderella on the face of the world. I ordered Papa John's.

Papa was in the house last night. Sure enough. I said, Pudgy, of course you did. He was like, he smells it. He has a cute mouth. Well, speaking of adorable stuff, the most adorable incident involving Fred came when Joe's sister, Maude, came to visit

to see the haunting for herself, because the Pritchard story had gotten reported in the news, and all this publicity, Aunt Maude found it very undignified. She was very religious, a big stuffy woman. She thought that they were doing it for attention, and she wanted to go there and blow up their spot and show everybody that Aunt Maude knows what's going on.

God, I did just find the love of my life, a very religious, big stuffy woman. Maude, Maude, you are just a bunch of boofs, boofs and toofs, and I'm coming there to show you that I'm the most classy woman. Well, she's always there. On the night she came to visit, just as Maude was in the kitchen telling her brother

that she thought the whole thing was poppycock, the lights went out with only the red glow of the kitchen fire illuminating the room. And she assumed the kids were doing it, and literally she's going like, turn on the lights, turn on the lights, I can't not see my knees. I don't think you can see them with the lights on either.

And then the refrigerator door swung open, a jug of milk floated out, and got turned over on Maude's head. It's literally like a movie. And her brother literally dumped her, and she went, oooh! You gotta get out of that house, or just turn your head up and start drinking it.

And then her fur gloves floated up from the table and looked as if they were being worn by an invisible being. And she kept the entire time literally screaming, like, Philip, stop that! Stop it, Philip! Like Philip was really doing it, and finally Mrs. Pritchard turned me like, you think Philip's doing this?

They were dancing by themselves in front of her. It was just fun. You know, in Sesame Street, they used to cut to the mummin' shots, dance pieces, they were all dressed in black, but they got white gloves on. And it got even more fun from there, because the gloves disappeared,

and then reappeared up in the bedroom. They ran upstairs, because there was a crash and noise, of course. They ran upstairs, and they saw that one of the gloves was doing a cum hither motion. What are you supposed to do with your finger? Oh, yeah, yeah, hitting the G-spot.

But the other fist was shaking at Aunt Ma, like, oh, why, I oughta! And then she got freaked out, and she started singing onward Christian soldiers to which the gloves started conducting her and beating in time. This is just missing a talking French candlestick, and we got ourselves a real Disney film.

It's voiced by some bad chrisprats in there. I love chrisprat, thin chrisprat, not fat chrisprat. Thin chrisprat, man, crush Monday. And Ma'd, of course, after that, ran out of the house and never returned to the Pritchard household. And so at this point, everyone in the house must have been on the side of the ghost.

They didn't want her in there. And the Pritchards, on that night, got their groove back. Aw, that's so sweet. Wouldn't it be kind of, that's a good storyline to this, too, because that was the thing, a lot of us, there was a lot of infighting in the house. As a lot of time, poltergeist activity is resulted because of personal tension and drama.

It's like the dad and the son were fighting, the husband and wife were fighting. What would be amazing is that after the stuffy woman ran out of the house, all covered in milk, and she's like, I'm like a farm accident. And you're running out, catching the first lorry that popped its cap out around the kibbit cop. I don't know what they call corners.

Clippity clop is right. They say kitty corner or some weird shit. Somewhere in that night, they finally get horny for each other. Isn't that nice, the husband and wife. And then Fred looks on, nods approvingly. Yeah. Let's get it going.

Maybe he learned something from the Kevin Hart voice. Maybe he learned something from the cum hither motion that Fred taught him. Yeah, and then Fred, he started to display an ability that is actually rare in poltergeist cases. He was actually able to move objects through solid matter. It's called apportation, A-P-P-O-R-T-A-T-I-O-N.

Apportation. One evening as the Pritchards were sitting in the lounge, an egg floated through the doorway, hung in the air, fell to the floor, exploded and filled the room with the scent of flowers. Oh no, there's an egg there. Oh no, eggs everywhere. It's like some sort of breakfast based Mega Man villain.

It's a flowery egg though. Yeah, and then another egg followed it. Gene, she's sick of this shit. I'm sick of you bitch, I want more time eggs. These are my eggs. She went to the fridge, put all the eggs in a wooden box and sat on the lid. But despite this, another egg just appeared in front of her,

exploded with the same flowery scent. And she opened up the box. And when she opened up the box, all the eggs were gone. All the eggs were gone? He hated eggs. Oh my God. He was trying to make her upset because it was making a big mess. But what's also interesting here is the smell.

Because usually poltergeist hauntings are typified by bad smells like rotting food, sulfur, stuff like that. But in the case of the Black Monk of Pontifrack, it was always pleasant. But kind of like the solar plexus thing, when you started to smell flowers, you knew some shit was about to go down. And it was kind of the same thing in my hometown haunting

with another pleasant smell. Cooking beef. That was a pleasant smell. Yeah, of course. Who doesn't like the smell of cooking beef? I do kind of like it in theory, but when you say it like that, usually people say barbecue. It's like, I like going to a barbecue, but I would never get a cooked beef Yankee candle.

Yeah, I would, yes. Well, hell no. Cooked beef is a wonderful smell. That's the smell you have to wash off after you get back from the barbecue. Because dogs follow you everywhere and you smell like a fucking hunk of jerky. You guys take a shower after you get back from barbecue every single time. Yeah, you should probably should, because otherwise you smell like you work at a barbecue. Hickory smelt.

Yeah, that's a great smell. No, you see Texas. Again, we're on this side of the table, not understanding a Texas like a whole lifestyle. Right. Yeah, well I'm going back in November and I'm looking forward to it. You're going to be covered in dirt, you're bringing a pickled girlfriend, you're going to splash Brian and each other and look at your father,

who just sits in his whitey tidies all day. It's perfect. That is Texas. That is Texas. I'm jealous. Texas is they do sit in whitey tidies, but they're always white, very white. Dry heat. It's a dry heat. They're good at keeping clean. I would never, I never have the confidence to wear white underwear.

Never, I wore gray underwear the other day. I'm talking about I'm wearing white underwear right now. That's Texas. Yeah, it doesn't sit like you're sitting on a gravel pit when you're done with it. No, absolutely not. You people need to get a hold of your anuses. I wouldn't risk it. If I wear white underwear,

it's just like I've been sitting on the knee of a chimney sweep all day. I mean, it's not appropriate. And if you're never going to die one of these days, you don't want to be caught in tiny whiteies. That's what I think. Well, back to the Pontifragt Monk. Of course, they tried to get rid of Fred, but things like exorcisms

don't actually work with poltergeist, and a lot of times just make some angrier, as was the case in the Pritchards brought in a priest to see what he could do. The exorcism, if you could really call it that, super half-ass. Because literally, they went to the priest to ask him to come do an exorcism.

He's like, actually, that's a lot of paperwork. I have to go to my boss. You literally said this. I have to go to my boss. A lot of times the bishops say don't do it, because does it come down to it? They say it makes the poltergeist worse. So here's some holy water. You could do it yourself, actually. It's really what to do.

Meanwhile, he's just staring at the kids. I'll show you a poltergeist. You know what I was thinking, everyone? And then they go like they're soaking upon a stiff hot dog. I think it's time for you to go, Father Jacob. No, I was already packed. Yeah, the priest just came in

and threw a little bit of holy water around to which Fred responded by throwing something across the room and trickling the holy water down the wall in little streams. It was like it was mocking it. What's really interesting about the poltergeist is that it was listening to people say stuff

about the picture, about the grandfather clock, and they said, oh, when they went through, that was one thing, that's a famous thing that is in the movie. I think it's called While You Were Sleeping. I think it's Quit the Lights Out. While You Were Sleeping is a romantic movie. That's a Sandra Bullock movie.

She was in a coma. Same scene, different films. It's sort of a Terry Shyvo type film. But the grandfather clock came flying down the stairs and exploded, and basically one thing that's what it said is that two people came to visit the house. And said, I can't believe the grandfather clock is flying.

And they're like, God damn it! I do think in this story, in this situation, the mayor's a cat. And it's just a little top hat on. No! I wish we had a look at that dog mayor. The dog is always happy to see you, little different cat mayor.

Yeah, because Fred, before this whole priest thing, he had never showed any interest in Christian iconography at all. But when Diane came home from school the next day after the priest had come,

they had this brass crucifix on the mantelpiece. And the thing flew off of the mantelpiece and stuck to her back like it was glued there. Like the mother tried to pull it off, and it was just glued on like the cruciform in Hyperion.

That is the scariest good Hyperion reference. Thank you, Marcus. Also, that's the scariest punishment of all. Right on your back like that, yeah. Yeah, and then that wasn't even the end of it. He waited until Easter Sunday and when Jean woke up on Easter Sunday, she found that all the doors

had been painted with golden inverted crosses. That's cool. It looked as if they were done with the stencil. And then Jean tried to recreate them, because he was like, alright, someone's good. Maybe he was using, we had a bunch of spray paint that they were using to redecorate

Philip's bikes. And he tried to do it himself, but the fixative on the door made the paint fucking glue, but it literally made it so she couldn't even paint on shit. So she's like, well, this is some kind of bullshit. And what Colin Wilson says, again, is that there's something about

a poltergeist's connection to matter, and they can manipulate it in a way. It's the same thing with the apportation about how it can take something from inside of a closed box and have it appear someplace else. So Fred is going through his sort of banksy phase right now, and he's getting into

religion, and soon he's going to take on big oil companies. He's going to let the world know pollution's bad. No, another weird thing that happened involved keys. One night as Jean was cleaning out the chimney flue, 19 keys came raining down.

Apparently, Fred had gathered every key in the house and dropped them all down the chimney on the Jean's head. However, These are heavy keys, dude. These are big British keys. Because these have big old doors to keep the queens from running away.

That's the thing. Only 18 of the 19 keys belong to the Pritchard family. The 19th was one of those big old queen keys completely unidentifiable and extremely old. And after the key appeared, so too did the black

monk of Pontifract finally manifest itself. This is scariest, fuck. This is where it gets to be because now at this point, they've gotten used to the activity. It is constant now. It's like shit. The knocking is all the time. They're saying that it's increasing every

single day. Now it's like the knocking has made cracks in the walls of their house. It sounds like there's fucking the whole house is shaking. People are hearing it across the street. They said that if you walk down the street in front of the Pritchard house, the house looked like it was glowing. It had like a weird, energetic feel

around it. And so things are really going crazy. And so finally, they started seeing him. Now, they said that the black monk appeared to the parents first. As they were lying in bed one night, their door opened and standing before them was a tall figure

in a hood. And when they turned on the lights, he vanished. The second person to see him was the neighbor they shared a wall with. A woman named May Mountain. Hold on, there's a neighbor they share a wall with? Yeah, it's like a duplex. She's hearing this shit all the time.

And she's seeing the black monk and she's like, there's got nothing to do with me. I don't know why I'll get the residuals. That's terrible. Yeah, she said that she heard a noise behind her. She turned around and saw a tall figure dressed like a monk with a hood over his head and then it vanished. But the thing

that May Mountain said was that she never felt afraid. She said she just sort of felt curious when she saw the monk, which is actually what a lot of people said that they felt. It was more of a curiosity. Didn't really feel like danger. But as Henry said,

the nox, they were getting so loud, the Pritchards couldn't even talk to each other. And he also, for some reason, introduced animal noises into his repertoire. Yeah, like cows and chicken noises. Like all of this shit would just kind of pop up and they said, it felt like you had a farm

in the house for no reason. I don't know where. And it's just to piss him off. I think that's kind of exciting though. Everyone loves animal noise. A moo moo here and an oink oink there. Every child does. Everyone, yes. He's just trying to entertain the kids. It does sound like he's going until like his fourth

album phase where he's like Tom Waits or he's making fucking instruments on a bicycle or shit. He's just like, I don't know, this could be music. But you know what? That's Tom Waits best work. Thank you. The bicycle music? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, he's fine. Yeah, rain dogs. Get out of here. Okay. I like to rain dogs. Yeah, I know. That's what I

mean. Get out of here because it's awesome. What? Why are you saying opposite stuff? It's like when people say something's bad. Am I supposed to go? What? You have to leave. Why do I have to leave? Now the climax of the entire tale came one night as the lights went out as they had a hundred times

before. Jean, who was in the kitchen, heard a scream from the stairs and ran out to see what was happening. She came through the door to see her daughter being dragged up the stairs. Her shirt stretched out in front of her as if someone was pulling on it. The other

invisible hand appeared to be around her throat. The parents pulled her free and gave her a large brandy to calm her down as you do with kids. Moments later, they saw that her neck was covered in red finger marks. So they got her drunk?

Yeah, got to. Yeah, I guess that's the only answer in this situation. Yeah, I think that's how I would expect. I think I could honestly live happily in a house that was riddled with poltergeist hauntings as long as I'm loaded half the time. You have to be loaded. I mean, it seems like they're monetizing it. They're flipping it. They should start charging

a ticket price. Well, they hated the attention. That's what I like about this case and that's different than the Amityville horror case and stuff is that they did not want the attention. They were truly British people that were like, we don't, we hate all of this, all of this shit. We just want it to be fixed. No one's giving us an answer.

Oh yeah, the father was just like, I got a menstruating daughter, a fat kid. I think he's gay. My wife hasn't touched me in eight months and now we got this goddamn ghost that she named Fred and now she fantasizes about him. I'm definitely, definitely sexually obsessed with Fred. Good lord. And in the end, the solution

actually kind of dumb. Super simple. It was a Scottish friend of father Joe's just casually mentioned, you know, garlic. Sometimes they use garlic for like evil spirits and shit, like, you know, like vampires and all that. Try some garlic. So Joe just went out

and bought a shitload of garlic, hung it around the house, no more Fred. They never, they never cooked with garlic? Not really. No, no, British are a bland food. They liked a good garlic. No, no, no, the British, they boil meat until it's grey. Yeah, but I do love the grey meat.

No, you're okay, fine. You're going to get a full of it. I love British food. You're in a few weeks, we're going to get a belly full. Yeah, I'm going to eat, I'm going to go to the pub every single morning and I'm going to get... I'm really scared of the trip. I am actually very terrified. I'm much more accepting of day drinking

in England than they are here. Chips and fish. Well, at least it shows that Fred was an Italian. That's very true. They love they love garlic. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I believe that. So that was it. So now Fred left because... Fred left and they never had any more

problems with Poltergeist activity ever again. But if you look up the Black Monk, if you look up the Black Monk of Pontifract, you're going to see many ghost investigators have showed up there. There are many pictures of these that look like the Black Monk. It has not been debunked. It is still active.

It's kind of waiting for like... basically it's waiting for the right person to come to have it go full fucking... Super Saiyan again. And it's got to wait until fresh eggs are born in there. God, I love this story though. This is a great story. Last time it really creeped me out and it's been a long time

since I felt creeped out by a ghost story. I'm just hungry for garlic. The Black Monk of Pontifract. A great story, yes. And we will be even close to this place when we go to the UK. No clue. Well, we're going to be in Scotland first, in the Manchester second, and I think Yorkshire is somewhere

in between. I'm not really sure. I'm bringing garlic in my bags. Can't wait for this trip. It's going to be a lot of fun. And I think, I'm pretty sure it's sold out. We might have a couple of London tickets left. We might be releasing some tickets

day of. We're going to have to see on that. No promises on that. Also, we might be if we are, if we are able to do that, then we're definitely going to let people know on Twitter and Facebook. So please go join our Facebook group. Follow us at LP on the left

to see if maybe we can work something out there. Yep, and follow Henry on Twitter at Henry Loves You Instagram at Dr. Fantasty Marcus Parks is Marcus Parks for Everything. I'm at Ben Kissle on Twitter and Ben Kissle 1 on Instagram. Make sure you watch our final live stream for adultswim.com

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and if you feel like that we deserve even a dollar from you, go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. Every single dollar helps. So thanks to everyone who's given so far and thank you in the future to everyone who gives

to us then. And thanks for supporting all the shows here on Cave Comedy Radio. Abe Blinken's top hat for politics. It's doing great. We're crushing news and politics. That's great. Roundtable of gentlemen. Drunken good time. The lucky bone show for music. Marcus just punched his eye out. Did you drill in your own eyeballs?

He's a total moron. What is happening? It is shocking how smart but you're stupid. How did you get here today? You literally put it in your mouth and you somehow got it in your eyeballs? Is that Fred? That is not you. That hurt. Citrus. Yeah well you deserve every bit of pain there.

And of course the lucky bone show section of the human activities in page 7. All right. Hail Satan everyone. Hail yourselves. And Hail Gene. Hail me every day of your life until you are dead. Congratulations one and all.