Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 242: Time Travelers

Episode Date: October 13, 2016

It's Project Pegasus and more on today's Last Podcast as we cover Andrew Basiago who traveled with the President to Mars when they were teenagers in a secret government time travel experiment and Internet legend John Titor who captured the attention of the nation back in the year 2000 with tales of future civil and war worlds. Serpentine Trek Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Continue Life Kevin MacLeod (incom

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Some kind of doctor octopus. Don't tell me about it. So you'd be to tell me that this fucking octopus is better than me

because it made it all the way through medical school? Yeah, technically. No, no, no, no. I'm a spider man. You're a drug. I'm not a spider boy. I'm not a spider child. I'm a full grown ass. I got pubic hair all the way up to my chest or all the way up to my beard.

I'm fucking spider ass man. That's spider ass man. And I don't need to go to school. No, you definitely don't. Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone. I am Ben Kizzle. That's Marcus Parks. Spend all my time swinging around in ropes and I'm risked people telling me like

I'm just some little boy from Queens but I'll tell you something different. I chased a man sized lizard yesterday for three hours. My feet are fucking killing me these spider boots ain't got no art support. So Mary Jane broke up with you drunk spider man? Mary Jane, more like Mary Junk.

I agree with that. Scary junk. Alright, so this is our first episode back since we went to the UK. We're going to take everybody up top. What an unbelievable experience. The food in Scotland is just the best. It has a film to it.

I will say I've learned about the UK. First of all, thank you for opening my race Horizons. It was only white people. There's so many patches to the white people quilt. It's a very white quilt. It was one quilt. It's what happens when white people fuck only other

kinds of white people for thousands of years. They look weird. People who did not. Honestly, people who did not come to our show it does look like their skeleton is all growing into one bone. I thought they were beautiful people. But I've learned that there's up to five different accents

in the UK in one go. You've got the cockney that, hey, alright. You've got the London ale. Hi, hello, hi, hello, good day to you. Then you've got Manchester with the top here. Oh, hello, welcome to Manchester. Someone explain it to me. Yorkshire is low.

But I want to help get up in the lower. It's kind of a Yorkshire type thing. It's kind of a mix with the cockney that I did. But the Yorkshire was more like, hey, alright. It's like a Scottish mix with the British. Then you've got Queen. What is, whoa, and

you've got her boyfriend Phillip, which is the doctor said to me today that my penis is officially a slug. So it's really six accents then. Six accents. Yes, you gotta count the fake king I guess whatever the hell he is Is he the king all he does is eat the Queen's pussy when the corgis are asleep. It's amazing

We had a great time making fun of Prince Charles and you know We they were a wonderful audience and they took a good ribbon. They really did now I absolutely love the entire United Kingdom every single show that we did was Fantastic, and we had a great time with the fans afterwards. You guys are so fuck cool Thank you so much for coming out. We can't wait to come back. All right We'll speak in a travel today's episode see that what am I on? I'm on a Segway, that's correct today's episode. It's gonna be amazing. It's all about time travellers Chrono knots you ignorant fuck its face time time travelers are what everybody calls them

Chrono knots sounds like the new cuisine that everyone's going crazy for it's the cronaut Mixed with some bizarre, you know almond or something Well the time travelers we're gonna cover today crono knots The crono knots, you know, Henry, I'm gonna go ahead and agree with you on this one. Yes, they are Chrono knots. It's a terrible name. No, it's so it's an official name So or if I today's episode we'll redo it then today's episode speaking of time travel. What am I on? Segway, it's about crono knots. Thank you We're gonna talk about three of them today

One of them is a crono knot that is living here in the present the other two are from the future But the guy that is here and now the one that you can speak to that you can call on the telephone And he is desperate for your call Please do call it. His name is Andrew Basciago. I don't know It's another one of example of in conspiracy world where everybody says a name three different ways Hey, he goes it spelled this Basciago It's spelled like a mixture of barf and Osciago the cheese, but it is But it's he says it Basciago. It's he goes by Andy

It's Andy Basciago. It sounds like he's batting third for the Yankees, but he forgot his baseball He's using a salami sounds like a kid I knew in first grade that ended up beating his wife and is now in jail. I'm sure he is Anthony. I'm ready That's it. Oh, is that right? Well, Andy Basciago is a lawyer from Washington State who claims to have been a part of a secret government Teleportation time travel program known as project Pegasus which ran from 1968 until 1972 one thing We want to talk about one second is that this is this whole episode is about the phenomenon of collected stories of the Internet of People who've traveled through time now the idea is that we don't know if time travel exists or not

But these three men do and the answer is yes, okay good We actually in reality do not know if time travel works at all We don't know if it's a part of a super secret government program that we're not aware of yet We don't even know what's physically possible because technically isn't time travel only supposed to be possible if you travel at the Speed of light and something with masks cannot do that well technically if you the thing is about time travel at least the theory about Time travel is that you can travel through time into the future because if you go faster than the speed of light Then time around you will slow down so you can travel faster into the future than actual time Occurs so you can travel to the future but traveling to the past is something different all together

Which are some sort of tear and the time space continue now quit a sweet question It's just hungover man bus stop science I think it is but I did just come up with a great plot for a movie It's about dwarf tossing and the world's strongest man tosses the world's smallest dwarf dwarf and he goes faster than the speed of light We got dwarf to the future. I think that technically is a folklore tale from like The credit times get the old back and days when we used to before before recorded history Ah, yes, but if someone couldn't create the movie poster for dwarf to the future that would be amazing or to the future Well, actually pin your theory here. Isn't that far off project Pegasus and it's early project Pegasus

Which is an offshoot of the defense advanced research projects agency aka DARPA was an effort on the part of the US defense technical community to weaponize time travel on behalf of the United States government now What he postulates and he postulates is the fact that Tesla's writings were absconded from a New York hotel that he lived in when he died US government went took all his writings and took the science that came from his journals and they put into a program project Pegasus Which worked alongside project Manhattan while like at Los Alamos base while that while the atomic bomb was being built They were working on time travel in another room with better nerds So did they like purposely just give them ominous titles with somebody like why don't we call it project a one and they're like Let's go with something creepier. I want something with wings in a horse

I like the idea of like, you know how a pigeon was sometimes you know you in the park. What if it's like six pounds of shit? Pegasus, thank you officer writery It's early stages the goal of project Pegasus was to study the effects of time travel and teleportation on Children specifically now, there are many different reasons why children were used the first was that they were more able to adapt to quote The strains of moving between past present and the future see their minds were kind of a blank slate a tabula rasa If you thank you also the words tabula rasa are written on every single bit of project Pegasus Information you can find on the internet the children are tabula tabula rasa

It was like the guy who wrote all of this stuff in one go was like I'm gonna fit this magic phrase and everything and every single Time I do my girlfriend gives me a hand. It sounds like Ellen DeGeneres's girlfriend Well, the things about kids the whole tabula rasa thing their minds are more open They are not really colored by experiences and prejudices the blank mind of a child is more apt to see things that an adult may overlook It's like Andy made a really weird example in an interview is watching with him He's like an adult will go back in the past and see a man with a gun and a holster on it and become immediately afraid and say Oh, no, it's a man with a gun But if a child goes into the past and sees a man with a holster and a gun in it

Then the child will think maybe it is some form of cowboy or maybe it is a safe-leaf officer Or what a fun little bubble blowing one that that man has in the holster on his belt I must investigate Sound a heck of a guy. Yeah, actually, that's I mean, that's a fairly good point Is that children have no fear they're like you can throw them into a time travel trouble in a time travel fucking tunnel And they'll just pop on the outside. No questions asked. I don't think I think kids are full of fear Are you teach you if you teach a child everything is a game? I mean look at Albert Fish's career sure if you can

Okay, so you are you about to compare project Pegasus to buck buck how many hands up? Yeah It technically is an interdimensional version of buck buck how many hands all right Well in addition to all that adults actually went insane after all the time travel jumps So it was thought of that if you okay kind of like buck buck how many hands up if you get it How is it if you get a kid used to it from an early age? Then by the time they got to full-fledged NASA chrono not age They'd be able to handle it, but also according to Anda Basciago He said he's like not that we did not go through much mental and physical trouble because we did I certainly did I have a problem Just tying my own shoes

I have a problem going to do an elevator pretty assertive that our doors are gonna open up and I'm gonna be see a dinosaur in a hallway And at this point my life is a bit of anxiety, which is why I'm on television now You're telling everybody about the time travel project I was involved so it sounds like it really ruined you yeah, you could say that that's why I'm wearing velcro shoes to this day Another reason why they chose children is because when they opened up the time tunnels the kids had to fit through the time Troubles time tunnels can only be so big and so in order to jump through Kids had to run and jump through the tunnels and form like cannonball and shoot out the other side and That's the that's the problems

They just couldn't find enough jockeys because jockeys want to live their lives I don't know if that's necessarily true. I think jockeys are extremely depressed. Is that true? I think so they're Alcoholics there are jockeys that listen to the show Let us know how you're doing get off the horse for a second right and send an email Well, they should have just sent real Perlman or Ruth Bader Ginsburg. There's so many small people out there Yeah, there's you have to use children Well, you don't have to use children, but that's the things that those are all adults right and they needed tabula rosses Because the adults all go insane, but that see that part of project Pegasus

That's only the early stages the ultimate goal of project Pegasus was to use crononauts to send sensitive military secrets to the future and to provide government intelligence to the governments in the past so they could use it for their future see Annie Bashiago's father right worked for what is the called lambda which was the Los Alamos military Defense Association Some bullshit some fake thing his father's working that best friends with Donald Rumsfeld who was also a part of the time traveling research Project. Oh, yeah, right when they started talking about this the reason why kids are being used with his would Andy's father explained to him Is to be like you know when fathers and sons go through the jungle they take their sons So they put them up on their shoulders excited to show the world as my to them as much as possible It's thoroughly as possible two feet higher. I believe

That you my son should be traveling the future in this highly experimental crazy physics experiment in the middle of the desert Because I believe in you so and that's what he felt he felt the belief in his father believed in him enough And we they just believed in these kids enough. So this is just neon genesis of Engelian. You're acting like this is fake So lambda just it's an organization of grown men who use children. Are you sure it's not nambler? No, no, no No, they certainly didn't just mix those letters around Okay, it's a little bit various Los Alamos military Defense Association you no longer have to remember it. You can delete it from your mind. Thank you Well, there are many different methods tried during project Pegasus including a quote Plasma confinement chamber and a quote jump room

The most promising method involved technology recovered from the apartment of Nikola Tesla after he died in 1943 as Henry said earlier using quote Radiant energy the machine was able to form a quote shimmering curtain between two quote elliptical booms when the curtain was raised the subjects would enter a quote Oral tunnel that would take them wherever they needed to go and it was child size It was fun size Elliptical vortex. No, no elliptical boom. You're not listening. Oh, I know I Vortal tunnel. It's very very simple. It's very very simple There is it so the universe is filled with thick goopy energy called radiant energy and now this is not Necessarily dark matter because that's what they asked Andy Bosh. I go in this interview

I was on and he the way you responded was being like. Yes. I was traded time travel. Yes I was chosen to be traded a program. Yes, I have many hours log time traveling. Am I a time travel scientist? No, I am not I see so you could not explain There's radiant energy everywhere and they can harness it from it's worth a flick of flu goops, right? Right using these Elliptical boom elliptical boom what they do is they they zap but they zap a fucking energy Like an energy vagina it pops up into these these Vortal tunnels right and the portal tunnels are holes in the in the the shimmering curtain is the reality as you see it Is this hologram, right?

Rip open a vagina into it, and then that's the portal tunnel But it's there's radiant energy between the two world tunnels that open up, right? Which is a stick goopy shit, which is why the kids had to run across the room jump into Cannonball position in order to get the inertia because they didn't shoot them through not like in time cop No, they literally they would shoot they would have to jump through themselves in order for them to power themselves It's very organic. It's very DIY. Yeah, so the kids are going through the goop and when they come out are they covered in it? No, no, they're goop free the goop is time I see

When you do you only get only goop the only goop the time covers you in is wrinkles and when your pubic hair goes gray Yes, that is true. Well, you know you say okay. Yeah, there's children involved here They're jumping into the time travel goop all on their own There's gonna be some incidents and in fact there was the most disturbing incident was when a child Arrived before his legs did that's a problem with time Ah, okay, so then he was sort of a lieutenant Dan type. Yeah, but he was like a legend He was like a legend. They call him shoeless Dave right after the old baseball player. Yeah shoeless Joe Yeah, he needs shoes. Yeah, how much money is he saving every year?

But ironically he would collect to many many expensive fancy shoes Oh, just just stare at them and he could never wear them. Well, you would just dwarf them. Oh, I see Well, yeah, that whole story was told by this guy. Did you learn anything about this guy? Henry this guy Alfred Weber. He claims to be a specialist in Exo politics now you're a bit of an exo political mind, aren't you? Yeah, I guess so what the hell is exo politics? Exo politics is the dealings with other in other intergalactic politics dealing with other aliens. What deal are you making right now? I mean how many fat women we're gonna sell the reptilians We have to sell conditioner to the Pleiadians why because of their beautiful silken flaxen

Like so blonde. It's silver hair. So you're selling our conditioners and our fat women have to Part of the arrangement that Eisenhower made fucking kissle. I don't remember What I never made the fat woman deal with You fucking dickhead 1953 mentioned fat women It's all I want to know it's in a clause. It's in a clause Nobody reads the miscellaneous I see the contract and you should well. I didn't seem like they took a lot of them It seems to be a few of them left when I don't think they're beautiful and wonderful

Well that physical model of teleportation is but one of two methods the other method is known as Chrono vision which works as more of a holographic view of past events and is used to gather intelligence It's like the holodeck but with a hat on yeah Yeah, the quote Chrono visors were invented by a Vatican priest who claimed to have used them to visit both the Last Supper and Christ crucifixion twice He just like pops into the last supper and he's expecting to see the table and stuff and it's just like 12 dudes just blow any joke

I'm in heaven. I'm in heaven Yes, see these chrono visors were passed on to the US government by Rome in exchange for God knows Well, I will you know what they wanted exactly a thousand boys Yes, and man They just go through those boys quick when they show up to rena up that negotiation the next contract They're like we need five million boys. The thing is guys. They just keep on getting older Is there a way to freeze their age? But it's also very interesting is because the chrono visors could only be also only be used by children

Well, they worked best with children because the Vatican priest he was able to use it But they're only able to see the children they can actually step into the Chrono-visions Adults can't do that because adults just way too much. We don't even like kids drive cars We barely let them go to the convenience store alone I think this is far too much responsibility for a child time travel pioneers Yeah, cuz children were light enough to exist within the chrono vision and so children were used also Andy Bashi I go said this other explanation about chrono visors the reason why adults can't use him is

An adult will sit with the chrono visor on is a bit of discomfort Oh, but on the skull of the adult and he cannot stay still also you can't have any errant sneezes or coughs when you're using the Chronovisors because it will jump you out of the timeline That's all kids do is cough and sneeze Children do not have the sort of habits that adults have but would cause them to sneeze and cough more often What is he talking? I worked at a daycare at a YMCA all the kids do that's how they communicate They talk like, you know random villagers and in it in it in it 1400 14 they speak tribal

All they do is cough and sneeze and then they communicate with each other true now as far as where our men Andrew Bashi a go went as a child many of his time travel trips took him to the 1800s Specifically to civil war days most notably he was present at Gettysburg on the day Lincoln gave the Gettysburg address Notable because he claims to have photographic evidence. He just has a picture. Well. He has a picture He says he says he says that project Pegasus Scientist dressed him as a union bugle boy when he went back to the Gettysburg address But for some reason weren't able to get him union bugle boy shoes in his own size

Excuse me. Do you have with inside shoes? I have very very very thin feet Big at the toes very small at the heel Do you have a sort of a slip-on or a ballerina a sort of a ballerina slip-on or a tiny princess heel? We have a large but I guess I'm your bugle boy. Oh My god, we didn't give him a bugle. We give him a quitar One boy with a quitar Abraham Lincoln a little known fact He wouldn't carry a knife because he was suicidal and thought he would kill himself Yeah, that makes sense and he had a size 14 shoe, which is the same as mine interesting

It seems like he had a lot of homosexual gals Oh Well as far as those oversized shoes go There is in fact a picture of a boy standing in a field at Gettysburg where an oversized shoes But the face is blurry and impossible to identify that is definitely me that is definitely me you could tell by them But as you can see I am a pear shaped man. Look at that child He's got child bearing hips Which is not of what a boy should have and that is me

I would like if the camera zoomed up and the guy had a blurry face and be like that is you wow Interesting Bashi Ago was also present at the assassination of President Lincoln on a number of occasions Although he never actually witnessed the president getting shot in the head. He did however see himself Twice I also missed the majority of the play because I spent quite a long time online getting popcorn But you knew the popcorn line was gonna be long. It's your second time there Why'd you go back to the the type of popcorn that was made in the 1800s of America? It simply cannot be reproduced as something about the non-gmo nature of the corn or maybe just sort of the fiery nature of the oil The heat they could get it to just cook up. Mmm. Just got it such a good savory

I really one of the most important historical events in US history for for popcorn. There were hot dogs as well Okay, well then it's worth it Now playing into theories we'll get into further with our man John Titter T-Tor I think we're going with him. Yeah Bashi Ago said that on multiple trips that he took to the assassination Things were just a little bit different each time one time. I went and Abraham Lincoln was dressed fully as a Dalmatian I can't believe that life life Dalm diet life like Dalmatian costume and he was being chased by several firemen It was do you think it was a sexual role-play thing or yes?

Bashi Ago believes that the reason why things are just a little bit different each time was because he wasn't being sent directly to our own past But rather the past of alternate realities on adjacent timelines Meaning he traveled over to the next membrane or three every time he went back to avoid messing up our time line But it also seems like the time travel Using the the vorpal tunnels using this Tesla energy that it was an inexact science Yeah, and now they're figuring it out because Donald Rumsfeld had a whole like when in 1971 Andy went to see Donald's rump

What Donald Rumsfeld talked about this shit when he was eight to talk about like some bullshit to go talk about the use of time travel for for war and teleportation for war Time activities ideas you can use it to send people into the middle of the battle Like you could just send extra soldiers to teleport them into the middle of where everybody was fighting And so at the time though, they were just kind of throwing people into tunnels and seeing where they popped out But I mean wouldn't have Rumsfeld like handled the war in a rock a lot better if they knew what was gonna happen in the future Alternate timeline alternate timelines. So in like one timeline Saddam doesn't have a mustache Yes, and in one he's he's a lady

He actually is the guy that played him in the movies in the in hot shots. Yes Sadamtha, yeah, it's infinite timelines. It could be in one timeline The only difference is that his mustache has one less hair. Oh, yeah Infinite timeline so many time line They use this alternate reality timeline a lot to explain away all of the holes in these stories It's essentially they're get out of jail free card. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, but boss Yagos time travel training culminated in his now infamous trip to Mars With other child and teenage crononauts. Okay guys

For this next little section of this of this time travel episode crononaut episode. I'm sorry to myself Yeah, you should apologize Be open be real open. Yeah now along with Bashi a go on his first trip to Mars was a young boy from Hawaii Who called himself? Barry So a tarot knows that the guy that did like the big fat guy that did the little like thing of a what come over the rainbow It's what we was doing the little ukulele thing. He's real fat and ukulele. It was just Hawaiian. That was a Hawaiian man Absolutely not

You may know Chrono not Barry a little bit better by his birth name Barack who's saying Obama the current president of the United States? I feel that if he knew he was going to be president if he was in fact a chrono not He would have just stayed in the past. I think so too. It's not very fun He did know he was president because boss Iago one of his jobs as a chrono not was to travel back in time To talk to presidents George W. Bush Bill Clinton and Barack Obama to inform them that they would one day be president And then boss Iago was also visited by a future version of himself

This is not a kid another kid. It's a future version of himself to be told him that he will in fact between the years 2016 and 2028 elected either president or vice president dependent on the brakes So now boss Iago so he is going to be a president Yes, so we're gonna have a president boss Iago and we'll have like free bagel Tuesdays. Yeah, either 2020 2024 or 2028 he's either gonna be president or vice president In fact, if you are indeed a registered voter here in the United States And you're not only unhappy with the two major party candidates, but also our third party candidate

Sorry Gary Johnson in the tank been kissin the tank you can write in Andru boss Iago's name for president as he is in the middle of his independent campaign as we speak And so what is this ground game looking like do we know? It is very independent It's very independent to the point where he said he could not afford to actually run for the presidency himself So what he wants you to do is going to invite people to do is to you go on to his website Andy 2016 dot-com And you and you go on you go on there What he wants you to do is to write in his name for president take a picture of it you can't do that legal don't listen

Take a picture take it out print it out put it on a postcard Mail it to his campaign offices so that he can tabulate his own votes To prove that the black box voting systems are rigged. Well, they are rigged. I do agree with him on that It's kind of voter fraud there. Yeah, it's gonna be Andy 2016 That's gonna crack this whole voter fraud scheme wide open And you know what the reason why he is uniquely Qualified to run for president cuz he's seen the future had asked me to answer me this has Hillary Clinton travel to the year 2054 has maybe

Did that maybe she did maybe maybe is the that is the right answer there But that's the thing is that if these things cuz Andy he's gone to 2054 So he's uniquely qualified to face the problems of the future But are they playing devil's advocate here if these things are in fact still problems in 2054 Then it's safe to say that bossy I go to do his job Unless those problems are a part of an alternate timeline in which case we can change our own timeline to prevent said problems So what's bossy I go running on? Oh? Oh 100 proposal agenda which can be found on Andy 2016 calm these include but are not limited to one

disclosing secret advanced technologies including cancer cures to Quantum transparency in which the president he classifies all the technologies in America's time travel arsenal three Presidential honesty in which the living presidents admit they were given for knowledge of their destinies for Cosmic truth in which the president launches a new international geophysical year to resolve cosmic mysteries, huh five Sasquatch protection. I like that. We need that as a Sasquatch I prefer that over not Sasquatch protection in which Sasquatch is listed under the provisions of the Endangered Species Act six Flat tax rate that's good to seven moon Transparency in which what okay, what are we being transparent about regarding the moon answering or not answering the questions and

privies and Investigations that are going on involving quantum technology moon transparency and the presidential honesty, I Mean it's just no listen moon transparency That's answering questions the American people have about the moon landing. What happened? Did we go there? What's up there? What's inside the moon? Is it hollow? It's not hollow and of course Mars transparency, which brings us back to president goddamn Obama I'm traveling the luckiest boy in the world's Barack Obama

It seems like he would age him quite a bit and things like that Exciting life he spent time in Africa in Chicago. Yeah, that's a Mars Hmm strange see working with Obama's mother and Dunham who is also a CIA agent who is carrying out missions in Kenya and Indonesia where she presumably met and fell in love with the president's father presumably Presumably the group of teenage crononauts Embarked on a mission to Mars. That's so much fun. It's so cute a whole bunch of teenage crononauts Yeah, so they're living like, you know a young Matt Damon or something. I was a teenage crononaut. They are power rangers

Yeah, what the hell do they do on Mars? I mean, I'm just this guy. It's just it's a tough platform to run. He's got a hundred points. Kissel I do think he should be in the debates Now the Mars base exists as far as I can figure out in a time loop using Tesla's quantum access time travel teleportation technology Which is how these people are able to go from Earth to Mars through a Vortual tunnel of some kind and you wouldn't believe what Andy had to say because he's like I was on a plane yesterday from the Sacramento down to New Mexico and would you not believe it took up to two and a half hours? And I was just presiding myself when the pilot came on and said two hours in that we are just now over

Helperkirche and I said I went to Mars and back it over three to seven minutes using a portal tunnel Well, then do it again then get off the damn plane. Well, that's what is that's platform number two quantum Transparency in which the president declassifies all the technologies in America's time travel arsenal. Let him fix our problems Let him be president. Why isn't this guy? I just feel like he has a lot of power. He's been to Mars Why isn't he more successful? I my big thing is that he could wear better fitting shirts Probably he could start there with his fashion sense and then move forward Yeah, you have to you let the world know who you feel that you are and you do that via clothing Exactly and one purpose of that trip was to get Basiago familiar with the Mars base

Because the CIA knew that Basiago would one day be the one to reveal to the world that Mars was inhabited by humans And they wanted to make sure he didn't sound like he didn't know what he was talking about Elon Musk can't even get a rocket 30 feet off the ground because he's not smart enough He's a genius and guess what? Yeah, I don't trust any man whose last name is synonymous with but smell Oh, that's not what a musk smell is musk is armpit. Yeah musk is totally armpit I've been asked to you could you leave me alone no woman has ever smelled a man's ass me like musky Yeah, no, I've been told I have a very fetching musk Marcus come on. You just smell like roadkill

Keep it moving kids Now the other notable eyewitness to the Mars colony was a man named Michael Ralphie who along with his wife Stephanie? Described in their two-volume book the Mars records the types of individuals present at the colony now Michael Ralphie Has had had was not a crone or not was not trained by them He was just friends with Andy and Andy told him all these stories in 2004 because Andy didn't start in what he said quote-unquote investigating his memories into the year 2000 when his mom got diagnosed with cancer, right? And so he didn't start really getting into this

He just told this guy and now Michael just appears in all his interviews with him Just hanging out to the side like going like like Andy would say a bunch of stuff about like Vortical tunnels and shimmering energies and all stuff and Michael's just like yep So we just doesn't like what Steve Bannon or Mike Roger Stone does with Trump He just stands in the corners just like follow the script. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Is he his manager? I had no clue. He's just the man in a polo shirt and hygiene. Oh, no, no, no He was actually a member of the permanent staff on Mars. Oh, he was on Mars Yeah, he was on Mars. He was a member of the permanent staff

So Mars was just like calling all dumpy fucks calling all dumpy fucks come to our planet Who else wants to go commit suicide on a planet made of rocks? I know somebody. Well Well these people the permanent staff they're not actually committing suicide what they do is they have 20 year shifts They spent 20 years on Mars doing whatever God knows Mars 69 and all over town. There's a lot of stuff to be done. They have to put in street lights They have to build movie theaters to build a street water fountains There's all sorts of amusement parks Halloween horror nights needs a section So you just you want to create like a pleasantville? Yes. Yes

Well, what would they would do after those 20 years? They would then be age Reversed 20 years and then shot backwards through time to their space-time origin point and then once back on earth They would have their memories blocked and sometimes have missions implanted into their minds Subconsciously which they must carry out whether they want to or not Yeah, creating not only say you're a janitor on Mars for 20 years. You're sent back now all of a sudden You're a Manchurian so you're Reggie Jackson from naked gun and you've got to kill the Queen But you see no story this complicated would be untrue exactly it is Truth is stranger than fiction stranger than fiction stranger things a good television show

I'm not even playing along strange ways. Don't prison among just that. Yes, which we performed right next to by the way We performed in the prison right by where Bronson was held exciting. Yeah, it's a song by the yard birds It's also a great comedy from there are the great up north. It wasn't the yard birds It was cream cream of the blood one of the great things David Manning likes to say about semen Strange brew is a very funny movie truth is stranger than fiction. All right Go back to it. The other type of person at the base is only there temporarily Those are mostly politicians and other government figures They travel to and from Mars via a jump gate in San Diego and return with a time debt equal to their visit as

Sending them back to their point of origin is probably more expensive and as we learned with a kid who came back before his legs More dangerous What can you mention leaving beautiful San Diego for Mars? Yeah, I'm Mars. I bet it's beautiful. Oh, I don't know It's freezing cold for a total recall. Yeah, for a total recall. Yeah Tongos everywhere. Keep your mask on. The eyes get really bulgy But you know everything that was around him was very beautiful. Well despite these memory blocks the reason why Michael Ralphie remembers all of his Mars time was because He was able to use his special brand of

Kinesiology Which is you know muscle and movement stuff He had a lot of patience and more importantly He had the love of a good woman and he was able to remove the block hero Wow, and that's what it takes isn't that it's the love of a good woman I believe that I think good love can fix a lot of stuff. I remember when I first got with Natalie I remember all about my crone or not training, but did you go to Mars? No, I know they sent me to fucking Idaho They sent you to Idaho. I was I was on the short distance to the teleportation rigs

And what did they send you on? Just out of Chicago, Idaho Less than a second and I just in your field zip all of a sudden I'm playing for the Cubs What was your record for the Cubs zero and a 417 Well Michael and Stephanie Ralphie are currently on demand to use their special Kinesiological methods to both prevent and unblock memories of government and alien Abductions most notably by changing the quantum matrix in your home by asking for the help of angels truth is stranger than fiction What the fuck angels? When the hell did they come into play? Oh, they've always been angels are real too

They've always been there Ben. You've ever seen angels angels in the outfield. Yes. I saw angels in the outfield They helped the Cubs. I believe it was the Cubs. No, they was the angels. Yeah, you're taking a rookie of the year Oh, no, no, no, no Indians when the Native Americans came the ghost of the Native Americans The movie space bears when the aliens came down and help the Chicago Bears. Yes, I did like that one William the refrigerator Perry think about that. He looked like a bear And you know what everybody I gotta say Andy boss. Yeah, I go 2016 Let's get this guy in office. I'm not don't take a picture of your ballot. You'll get arrested do it I say do it and please let's all just vote. Let's just vote for Andy boss. Yeah, I go

Let's give him something. He's gonna commit suicide and he's gonna be president either way I mentioned it on top at Henry if you promise to vote I will be thrilled if you vote for Andy boss Yeah, oh, I will okay. Yeah, I'll vote for any boss. Yeah, go just so long as you go in and write your name write his name down We'll be happy. Oh, we'll do that. Yes. I a G o is that correct? There's yeah, I a G o just one G combination of barf and Oscar Or you just write barf plus Ozzy I'll go. They'll figure it out or just vote barf About these characters baseballs. Um, I Want to actually pause at a serious question. So this is obviously some form of disinformation or or horseshit, right?

So he comes out and he makes a bunch of lies And I do believe that they're gigantic black ops programs that the government's hiding from us We have the gigantic black budget their technology that the US military has is 50 years at least plus whatever we have seen If there are people that work for the military and that are willing to speak anonymously and want to say something that you've seen While in operation with the US government I'd love to know what is the actual truth of how much technology is that they have that is past what we have Besides just sort of because I know that they use hologram technology and they use Visors they use like Oculus Rift type stuff in order to use like a kind of a 3d weird like they have a browser thing

Iron man computers. They have already using computers that are a robot that are able to compute whether to kill or not on their own Well, they're almost there. They're not quite. Oh, they're there. I trust I was talking to my friend Mike Baker about it I trust CIA. Oh, yeah, but I Want I just wonder but because these are ridiculous stories I just know that there's stuff couched in all of this horseshit that the government loves to do if there's obviously There there was the Manhattan project and they did a lot of secret shit And there were obviously many many many many other programs that were just like the Manhattan project They didn't get busted out because it didn't become like gigantic deals like creating atomic bomb

All right, so we will be doing a listener pasta coming up in the near future So if you are in the military, please call in with any stories you have, you know what just tell us about the toilets Do they sell flush? That would also be interesting. Do they are they warming toilets? Oh, that's pretty good. Yes That sounds wonderful. So we'll be we'll be doing that very soon here in the future Definitely, and if you want to send us something cave comedy radio at gmail.com is the email address to send it to yes Get it quick and remember keep it short Our next time traveler is actually here from the future. Oh Yeah, his name is Andrew Carlson Andrew Carlson took a page out of the Biff Tanner book of time travel and came back from the year

2256 to play the stock bond. That's really smart super smart kind of smart No, it's an initial investment of 800 bucks Andrew was able to amass a portfolio that was valued at over 350 million dollars shit in just two weeks capitalizing on unexpected business development Wow, huh? Now only eight hundred dollars isn't that something only eight hundred dollars now either he had quite a bit of inside information or He was in fact a time I'm

Traveler and you know what? Chrono not or is he a time? He's a time traveler. So I was right when I said time travel time travelers are civilians It's somehow got access to the technology But the people that really know what they were doing or chrono that think about it this think about it this way the guy that flies Elon Musk's space X big thing. He's a pilot. He's a pilot, but Neil Armstrong. What is he? Astronaut or fraud What it's possible. I will punch you in his step. I believe they went to the moon I do believe they went to the moon. Yeah, they definitely went to the moon. Yeah, sure

Well, what about John Glenn? You want to fucking put a beacon John Glenn's butt? No, man. I love John Glenn. It's he's got two first names. I Always looking for two first names Now this guy Andrew Carlson Arrested for insider trading almost immediately, but when the SEC hauled a man Carlson spilled the time travel beans and over the course of four hours explained step-by-step his money-making scheme Using knowledge that was quote Common knowledge in the future Carlson had planned to travel over 250 years in the past Play the stock market in a reasonable way with a little bit of patience, but he got a little carried away

It's fucking office. It's office space Okay, I'm travel great Okay, but why would he just go back 50 years from his time 250 years? What's 300? I know what I'm saying Why didn't he just go back 50 years to his in his time in the year 2020 or whatever 220 or whatever the hell the year is? I mean, I don't even understand because what 300 million dollars by his standard with inflation would be like 50 cents by that time You don't know man. You don't know I don't know stranger than fiction how many times so I have to say all right truth is stranger than fiction now exchange for leniency

Carlson offered up both the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden who had not been found at this time in the desert That no no no What if he literally just when he was like he's right here and like lifted a trash can in the Solomon lot It's crouching behind this trash, but he literally had to let him go because there's a whole Scooby-Doo Like claws in in American legal things that if a mystery is too easy to solve that they have to let the criminal go And this guy Carlson he also offered them a cure for AIDS Which he apparently just had a rolling around in his head He but he was keeping it a secret and let Intel they let him to his time craft

He said if you let me go to my time craft. I'll give you the cure for AIDS I'll tell you where Osama bin Laden is, but I'm not gonna tell you where the time craft is I'm not gonna tell you how it works Because I'm afraid that the technology would fall into the wrong hands. It's inside my ass Gotta go to my that he's just like I think we just reaches up inside his own ass and pulls a cord out like it's starting to lawn mower And all the weird time of the clocks are going everywhere Sergeant dickhead did you let him get away? Yeah, every time I

Always let him get away. I'm the fun cop. You are the fun cop Well, the funny thing is no one has actually been able to find any evidence of Andrew Carlson before 2002 and when he was bailed out in 2003 he disappeared without a trace now this story was Actually reported on yahoo news, which is oh, it was report yahoo news is a news site. It's news. It's vague news It's news. It's definitely news. It's called yahoo news. It's got to be real news in it It's got news in it now who knows reports on a lot of news stuff Desperate clicks because Google completely took them off the internet. No way and then they but they technically got the story from the weekly World news and the thing is that we know about the WWN

Sometimes truth if you don't know stranger than oh my god But weekly world news is it's not real well talk about space ghosts but like go ships No, listen like the National Enquirer Yes, there are places where people dump real information into these fake newspapers Because that's how you release it the people from the National Enquirer talk about the dirt that they have on politicians all the time It's like they see everything. Yeah, I mean they busted John Edwards. They busted John Edwards. They busted Ted Cruz I think all that stuff is true. Yeah. Oh, yeah A lot of people they because what they do is unlike the New York Times and the Washington Post which they talk about it

The reason why they get high-quality reporters is because they pay them great money. Yeah, you know Our last time traveler today is a bit of a legend in paranormal circles John Titter Titor we gotta go Titter I'm fine with I will of course call them John Titter because I think it's wonderful I want to put it out there before we get the fucking annunciation police up our assholes is that I know that it's John T T No, it's T I T O R. Titter. That's Titter. Yeah, that's absolutely Titter Although he was not yet going by this name sent two faxes to coast-to-coast AM on July 29th

1998 which told both of his time travel from the year 2034 and of the upcoming Y2k disaster the facts read in part Let me explain mr. Bell. I sent a fax with this opening on July 29th 1998 as I said then I am a time traveler I have been on this world line since April of this year and I plan to leave soon Typically time travelers do not purposely affect the world lines. They visit. However, this mission is unusually long And I've grown attached to some of the people I have met here including the wonderful rock-scar-band sugar-raised For Y2k never ended up happening. I would love to just like art Bell just comes into the office any interesting facts is today

No, no Time traveler now Titter didn't emerge again until the year 2000 when someone who would later use the same military Insignia is John Titter made a post on the time travel Institute forums using the name time travel underscore zero Making similar claims to the coast-to-coast faxes on January 27th, 2001 at 1245 p.m The name John Titter was used for the first time when a man claiming to be him posted on the coast-to-coast AM message board saying Greetings, I am John Titter a time traveler from the year 2036

I am on my way home after getting an IBM 5100 computer system from the year 1975 my quote-unquote time machine is a stationary mass temporal displacement unit Manufactured by General Electric the unit is powered by two count them to top spin dual positive singularities that produces standard Offset tippler sinusoid. I will be happy to post pictures of the unit and also my travels with the band sugar-raised So it's a 1975 computer. That's his time. No, that's just what he went back to go back in time So did he leave it there? No, he came and got it's about like see here's the thing that what happened Is that he was an American soldier based in Tampa, Florida from the year 2036? He was specifically chosen for the mission because his grandfather was directly involved in the assembly and programming of the IBM

5100 which was needed to debug computers in the year 2036 Yeah, you fucking idiot needed the IBM computer, which is only used for palm Yeah, and that but that's gonna debug computers in 2036 stranger than fiction you fucking long moron Well, actually the IBM 5100 this is that's one of the kernels of truth in this whole thing because the IBM 5100 actually did have a hidden function in which it was able to emulate other computer platforms and Computer like things that are highly technological often use very old computer system So the Russian space shuttles are still using computer systems from the fucking 60s and like the Mars Because the government's not funding the space program anymore. Well, they just they don't want they want they want to have nice computers

No, no, no, they like it to be hard But that does actually give the the whole story like a tiny bit of legitimacy Well, this story was created by a very good nerd. Yeah a great nurse like a very good nerd possibly a great nerd soldier named John Titter from the year 2036. He can be a nerd and a soldier. I love him You know what you could do too is the pictures of the time-traveling unit were really fucking cool Like it was very cool very organic looking but it looked like a bunch of batteries all top in the back of it Wasn't a DeLorean. It was a 1960 1967 Corvette. That's pretty sweet. Cool as shit Yeah, and it was like all of if you look up John Titter fucking time machine that shit. It's awesome looking. Yeah, this car looked just like the failed

Truck bomb from a couple years ago in Times Square very similar Lot cooler than that. Okay Well, that's the thing about this whole case is that people actually took it very seriously for years But that I know all this kind of sounds dumb now the internet There's a guard a great guardian article about John Titter and they pointed out something like very fucking true Is that back in the year 2000 the internet was a much much different place than it is now back in the year? 2000 you never ever gave your real name out to anyone on the internet It was a weird mostly text-based platform still pretty new to most people and extremely mysterious

He just never expected the internet to get better. No, absolutely not. No, the internet was the type of place where weird shit happened So over the next couple of years Titter would answer hundreds of questions on the coast-to-coast message boards about both the future and Himself he claimed to be an American soldier from the year 2036 based in Tampa, Florida And even though his original mission was to 1975 he stopped off in the late 90s for quote Personal reasons, and I think it's got a lot to do with him traveling around with the fucking ska rock band sugar Yeah, it could be he showed up and he was just like this band is what it is my personal identity I got my cock shell necklace. I've got my frosted tips I know that I was born in the year 20 20

2002, but I belong in the year 1998 Sugar Ray was a hell of a band. Yeah, he stuck around for a few years He said that he routinely noticed little things about our present that were different from his past such as news events happening at the wrong Times and football games being won by the wrong team. Why is it sugar a playing stadium? 2036 sugar a is rewritten in national anthem I cannot believe I live in a world where sugar a is not known as the best band of the face the planet next to oasis And I need to make sure it happens here, and he's just out selling sugary t-shirts and buttons The Titter estimated that the divergence between our world line and his world line was somewhere between 1 and 2 percent

Going back to boss Yagos claim Titter says he is actually on a different timeline than his own parallel to his That's why the quote grandfather paradox in which a person does something in his past to prevent his birth Doesn't apply to John Titter if you were to say kill his grandfather at some point He would be killing a different John Titter's grandfather, and so it wouldn't really matter to him in the long run Well, you just you're gonna kill an old man. You just scare your dad before he comes God, he shoots at all of your mom's face. Yeah, and then you can't be born Interesting. That's what I do Well, that's what you do. You want to do you want to do what I don't want to do it

I want to go back in time. So you're saying that you want to go back in time to your moment of conception the moment of your father's Ejaculate into your mother's vagina kick in the door and go boo, and I'd say two out of three your sons are gonna be gay Do you want to risk it? I think well better not if you won't fuck you first of all will mistime it No, it was over the beginning of them making love and have to see the slow working of your father's hands all over your mother's They were quick. They were quick They're Christians. They did it with their eyes closed. Oh Fast weird. I don't know now as far as what John Titter's future is like Titter says that it is much more rural people are a lot More religious don't really go to church

Community is emphasized and most people in central Florida live in tree houses. All right So it turns into fern going yeah, and it's as far as fashion goes. They wear a lot of hats. No shit I guess the sun in Florida is still there. I go over hold hold not just hats hats Hold a hat, and you know what look around now. There's a lot of people wearing hats honestly though in Europe Specifically many different types of hats did not people have been wearing hats everyone wears hats Yeah, but there's more hats now than there were your pet people on ironically wearing berets. Yeah, which I hadn't seen ever I think they were still wearing them ironically. I a little no in it in Italy was all like little Oh, yeah, a lot of like

Everywhere yelling at you. Well, there was hiding extra food in there Bastards there. They're fucking very stingy with their food. Are they I went to Rome I expected to be fed from the moment I got off the plane. I was like ready to go. Well, let's finish the time travelers We'll talk about I know now we don't want to get your riles here now besides the hats There were quite a few other differences in our timeline and the predictions that John Titter made But it could be said that Titter's revealing of these events prevented them from happening in our timeline Titter said that a second civil war would erupt in the United States in the year 2008 Precipitated by civil unrest surrounded the election of 2004 Titter said there's gonna be a Waco every month in those four years

That was eight years ago kind of right. Yeah Not not bad actually predicted that right and yeah, everyone is wearing hats Yeah, there there are a lot of people wearing hats and there is just a tropical storm or the hurricane Matthew Which is gonna wipe out most of the houses in Tampa. Yeah, everyone has to live in a tree house That's the only next that's the only other option I think people just want to live in tree houses because they keep watching most extreme homes on the fucking home and garden Network, I do like that show. Yeah, absolutely because of all of that stuff the US split into five different regions which led to World War three in

2015 a war that cost the lives of three billion people and wiped out among other cities Washington Washington DC and Jacksonville I don't remember any of that He has a tide of Florida here. He does and he did but he did say the only cities that he mentioned that were destroyed in World War three. He was like Washington DC was gone Jacksonville was gone. You would think the West Coast and the East Coast would really get it worse You know being so close to our you know enemies in one Jacksonville is the hot spot of America So the Russians the greatest minds the most advanced technologies. Yeah, there's a lot of Camaro's there

Yes, yeah, actually after Washington DC was Destroyed they moved the Capitol Omaha Right in the middle right by our nuclear silos actually. Yeah, I know a lot of senators They're gonna be really mad about not getting sushi. Oh my no, you can get sushi in Omaha Yeah Now naturally some people were skeptical about titters claims But he said that it was not his goal to be believed interested rather seems like he just enjoyed Lordin is 2036 superiority over all of us in any way that he could this is what he said about the people in the year

2000 perhaps I should let you all in on a little secret No one likes you in the future this time period is looked at as being full of lazy Self-centered civically ignorant sheep perhaps you should be less concerned about me and more concerned about that I just feel like he looks like a Mario Batali who can't cook and he's just wearing crocs He's constantly sweating even though he never moves. Oh, this is a large man. It's gotta be huge It's just it's so funny because we didn't ask you for the time travel information. You showed up Scream on your time to and then you you get a little bit of criticism and then you say now the future hates us It's strange

Now not too long after Titter appeared a company registered in Florida popped up called the John Titter Foundation Which started selling merchandise along with a book called John Titter a Time Traveler's Tale No, like it was a giant scam. It was just rewritten with him and is like co-written by him and the lead singer of Sugar Ray Yes, I've been trying to think of that damn bastard today for so long now The Titter Foundation was founded by a man named Larry Haber who many say was behind the whole thing But due to the slippery nature of Titter's claims concerning the alternate timelines This can neither be confirmed nor denied and Titter hasn't been heard from in years But the official Time Travel Institute podcast called out of time

Claims that John Titter has recently resurfaced and through his mother posted quote Something on a message board that was passed on to a quote Important person although the host refused to say what where or Who I just looked up Larry Haber and he looks like the body that Cranck was in that sounds good So what do you mean through his mother? He used his mom's computer or no? No, I is that he dictated to his mother and she typed it out. This is John Titter's mother Posting on behalf of John Titter. All right, so that's the episode on Time Travelers and crono knots crono knots

Also, very interesting that Larry Haber is an attorney and you know who else was an attorney was Andy Bashi Ago Yeah, and Bashi Ago said that he uses his skills as a lawyer to win over 2,000 arguments on the internet That's phenomenal. What a good use of that hundreds of thousands of dollars you spent on law school Wow, all right go back to so in Italy. They don't have good food, huh? No I mean Italy's got fantastic food, but Rome wants to keep their good food away from Taurus and apparently I'm obviously American No, was it I was just like where's the good food. I was like manja. Manja

I was literally just being like I want I but said it to the hotel clerk I shouldn't have said it the way I said it, but I was just like I want to be drinking wine I want to be eating pasta as soon as humanly possible. Where do I got to go and you use one? There is a territorial around the corner. I was like no, don't put me into a tourist trap one I want a real one and that's exactly how you could put into a doer. That's what happens. Yeah Alright, well one of the episodes. Well, it's October. Yes, finally. We finally got here. Oh my god. I love it Um, Dwayne reads are scary Yeah, Walgreens are terrifying too. We are we are the beginning of Satan season. It's gonna be Halloween soon

This is our first installment. We were having listener pasta. I believe is next week. Mm-hmm I'm really excited for please send us your scary stories. We really want to make this one scary I'm sick of people telling me that listener pastas are like burner episodes I want it to be scary as fuck if you got a scary story. Tell us anyway So, yes, submit your submit your stories Marcus. What is it cave comedy radio? email.com cave comedy radio at gmail.com Yes, we're we're excited to read those and this is our favorite month This is the best month at the end of this month will be in Washington DC

So come and check us out live there We're doing the Benson ball and we're doing one of our live shows and then we're hosting something as well I believe yeah, I think what is that? That's gonna be the 29th. I think 29th. Yeah Um, so that'll be very fun in our live stream on the left is gonna be back up on adult swim soon We're gonna get those dates very very soon. We're doing that shit out. Also, um If I can ask you guys to do anything if you can if you have cable, please watch your pretty fakes is going to hell Starting October 23rd at 11 30 on adult swim for on Cartoon Network. Please watch I think our shit is the best shit. We've made ever this third season. It's gonna be really really great. All right

so make sure to check that out and Yeah, man, I mean, thank you guys so much for supporting the last stream on the left I mean adult swim is just absolutely in love with it. Yeah, and we got a new live show announcement Oh, January 7th 2017 Boston, Massachusetts The Brighton music hall this show is gonna sell out every show that we've done Has sold out so far Portland is sold out, but we're adding a second Portland show

Seattle is about to sell out so guys get your tickets as soon as you possibly can go to cave comedy radio comm slash live to find the Find all of the links to all of our upcoming shows and we've got more shows that we're gonna be announcing here We're got we've got shows coming up Pretty much every single month for the next six months. Yes, and thank you guys so much for support and all the shows here on cave comedy Radios, I mean Marcus and I we got able against top at it. So fun when we see these live shows people know all the shows Yeah, you know, they're always asking for Jackie Zabrowski. Hopefully she can start coming out with us at some point She's doing she says hello. Let's she does say hello and absolutely and then hold the McNeely. Yeah, um

Just and if you want to see him Then he's around, you know, I go check out his new podcast the wizard and the bruiser with Jake. Yeah, it's very good Yeah, I make a couple of appearances on it here and there. Oh little self-plug Oh, I wonder how you mentioned it. Well, yeah, go check out the fucking lucky bone show to mix on comm slash Marcus Park So just put out a new episode yesterday All right, yeah abling is top at round table a gentleman lucky bone show wizard and the bruiser not sure what it means no clue And read and read Holden's articles as well He's finally starting to write which is a skill that he has and he's wonderful at it

And he writes about video games, which is the only thing he knows about yes, so that's pretty perfect right what you know And he can't just write eat not your girlfriend all the time. That's very true All right, everyone. Thanks so much for listening. We'll talk to you soon. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Hail Gean Help me So sick you're sick. I am sick. We're all sick. Yeah, we're all sick. Yeah, we all that's what's happening with my nose Yeah, yeah, we picked up some real nasty shit over anyone. I'm a goose to Lations Oh Well, let's get to our shout outs for this week

Thank you very much for waiting patiently for them, but we're gonna get through a bunch today. We got Ellis s gruffied I like her. She sounds like a cat Ryan pink Paul Simpson Mark Hayward Joshua R. Bishop Elizabeth Marshall Lenny Harris Ramsey Blackstone Deena Garrish and Hanuman Welch All right, I got a bunch of people on this list. One is named Stig grieve. Oh That's great. Stig. Yeah, don't don't mess with Stig Stig is like their version of Steve though

So it's only badass here. Oh, I see grainy touchdown Jeff and Casey Anna Hornsby sofa Villanova Aaron Coughlin who we know very well, Erin Indeed Sarah Bartell Lucas Lorenzo Patrick Keegan Justin. Yeah, yeah, I need you go. Yeah, I need you go Yeah, I need you go Angelo capperton Simone will Nicole Peck Charles Callum's Chris Zerfass. We know Nicole Peck. All right. Hello, Nicole. I like your last name Chris Zerfass

Sarah Damoratsky Polish nice. No more. Oh my god, too. No, my god Damoratsky, I know how to say that cuz I'm from Wisconsin. Hey rolls right off the tongue Toby Berryhill Jessica Baldwin Amanda Krieger. Hello, Amanda. Yes, we know a man Amanda's incredible and we know Jessica Baldwin She's also wonderful. I love you Jessica Ashley Bacchera Jeffrey Henderson Monica Martinson Samantha Stephens Daniel Hopper

Christie walls Tom Fogore Jr. Well, I love Tom Fogore, too Tommy Naylor, I think we did Tommy Naylor Tommy You might be doing the same list again, but if you're gonna shout out twice, it's your lucky day Alex K Beth Tierney Daniel Christensen Jimmy Jimenez Valerie Kremser Joseph H. I know Valerie Kremser as well. Yeah, do these We might have done them, but it might be a double shout out either way you get it Marge Cory Newman Stephen Paul Anderson Haley Jane

Vanine Sam Belfay will Sam Belfuel Greg Carson Brae and Brian Bome Devon Roe rig Alyssa Caitlyn Duffy Quinn McDonald Steven Rivers Annette Petrie GX Barnett Christopher T. Boyd Whitney Bingham. Oh Alexandra Schneider Ashley Ford Omar Sanjuan Evan Crossland Gustavo Montes de Oca and Elsa Ashleford Alright, I got Sean Engel do that'll do

That is kind of funny Andrew McGrory JJ Roy Jason Hannon Hannah Bird Michael Thorn Kate Everett Ashley Mongula Tom Gaul Rob Ryan O'Connell and Sarah John Palmar Sigurds such a keys. Look Delphino Camacho Rachel Doherty. I know her we met her in Los Angeles. Oh, it was very sweet I didn't really get to talk to her because she was in the corner while everyone was screaming But she seemed very nice. Oh, don't hesitate to say hello the next time. Well, you're scared. Don't you fucking hesitate to speak to me mob and these teas

Amanda Baker Brooke Martinez Colton young and Judelle Jamie Johnson who we met in Atlanta was going on brow Hail Satan Miranda Bertle John Enos Colin Malnorey's Silver Noggle Sirbel Nagel Aaron Pendleton Maureen Richard Ellis Greer who we met in our first Washington DC show. She's very nice Hail Satan. You're small

Mark Griffiths Whitney Lewis very attractive I'm sure she all of our female fans are extremely attractive Ben Hooper Mark Jones Jens Petter Pettersen Ed Healy Reese Buford Eliza Spear Mallory Bolman Dominic Kailak Archie Harvey Kim Kelly Sarah Heron Hail Satan good to see you on here Clayton go go Hail Satan's good to see your face prison Dovage

Andrew Holly Alex Hymes Bert Haverd Matt Shepard Calvin Lunt Matt Thomas Alex Alexis Nicholas Sarah Derek Weber Beth Waldron Deanne Sheldroth Ben Robertson Ronald Brown Matt Brown Joe Modix Abby Tamerskirk Brett Reynolds Nicole Suzette Lacey Young Caitlyn Phelps. Hey Caitlyn Tom Buckridge Jessica King Elena Rice. Hey Elena. Hey Maria Elisa Hague Arwen Huckabay Oh Arwen Huckabay. I feel like I know her. I feel like I know Arwen Huckabay as well Kelly Robertson Sam Archer Tim Foster

Mark Bodden Shannon Allen Carlin Jonathan Burnett Bennett Eugene Litvinoff. Hey Eugene local boy out down from Sheepside Bay Kateri Popchev Hunter King Evan Bolden and Thomas Molden. All right. I got Christian Gutierrez. Thank you so much Christian Vanessa Bixby Megan Peterson Peter Olson Devon O'Neill Matthew Chisholm Don Don't oh snowy Mark Aaron Dungey

Alonzo Herrera Megan Paul Mitch Jensen Melissa Frack off and Ken Bone Hannah Brewer Leah Stoner who we know Timur Hussain who I just met in the UK who's great. He's a very easy reporter and he's smart and he's attractive. Oh good Jason Katie Coleman will lack Aram Creighton at gmail.com

Sean Durman Alice Wallace Diana second Dr. Bustos. Oh, oh Danny. Hey Danny Danny. And that's it. And that's it for this week's last podcast on left patreon shoutouts Thank y'all so much for giving to our patreon. Thank you You guys have helped us out more than you could possibly know Every single person even if you just give a dollar really helps us out You can go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left to get your very own shout out and sometimes

You get them twice due to a clerical error. Hey, not bad. Not bad But you know what now that we know your true names We can possess you using magic and make any make you do what we want you to do Yeah, or we can do a tulpa of you and make other people do you know think that you've done things that you haven't done Well, we would never do that to you. So don't worry about it. Hail Satan. Hell game. Hail yourselves. Help me you fucking cotsuckers Don't kill a boy. Don't do that. Never kill a boy