Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 248: Children of God Part I - Mother's Peanut Butter

Episode Date: November 22, 2016

It's the Children of God cult on this week's Last Podcast! In part one, we follow sex-crazed self-proclaimed prophet David Berg from his early days as a failed Pentecostal preacher to his brilliant manipulation of the hippie movement. Think of him like a more successful Charles Manson. "Rocket Power" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ "Bossa Bossa" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common

There's no place to escape to this is the last talk on the left Man, I'm sitting here on my dog bed. I'm covered in old dog hair I'm feeling ready to do a show. I'm covered with a fine thick of pelt of hair as it is already You are I'm all right. Welcome to the show everyone. I am Ben Kissel. That's Marcus Parks in a dog bed That's not a lie. He is in a closet in a dog bed Puppy head all bulldog bulldog Henry Zagrowski, and I'm horny like a little bulldog You've ever seen a little bulldog you can pick him up And it's got a little tiny of hard penis and you can throw him out a cat

He'll just he'll just fuck a shit out of a cat. All right, so today's topic is Interesting we're going back into the world of cults, right? Is this correct? Oh, absolutely Now this is a fascinating cult and they are called it's a huge one and it's called children of God Yep, the children of God now known as the family International is a far-reaching Christian sex cult started in the late 60s by a then 50 year old failed Pentecostal preacher named Dave Berg no relation to the beloved mad magazine artist of the same name and you learn that the hard way Because originally you sent me a text so excited that David Berg was also the artist artist behind the lighter side in Mad Magazine You were excited. I know I knew that Dave Berg was the guy who did the lighter side of it's the lighter side of the gas crisis

Yeah, but I did I knew immediately that it was not my beloved Dave Berg You know there are a lot of people that are really upset right now right because the country's still kind of reeling from the election But no matter how upset you are right now At least you're not a part of an organization that you were born into where you're forced to have sex with your own aunt Well, you know Like the bulldog lighter side Now over the years as Henry said the children of God cult became embroiled in a number of sex scandals involving incest Religious prostitution child abuse and pedophilia

They have since reformed and now operate as a fairly respectable French Christian cult, but its beginnings are beyond sinister Okay, just one question religious Prostitution is that just does that mean all the prostitutes dress like nuns and they hang on the street corner? What is I'm sure what is religious prostitution trust me? We will get into flirty fishing on the next episode Yeah, there's a lot of flirty fishing going on in this country, but mostly it's between uncles and their poor poor nephews If it has anything to do with what I know for a fact of Mormons do which is the thing called soaking it will be disturbing Soaking what's soaking soaking is when you simply put your male genitalia inside of a woman and you just sit ah Yes, you soak it like it's a like it's a businessman who's in Japan selling a big

You know making a big deal and he wants to go to sauna Where I am up from from up north. We call that steeping. Oh, I did colloquial isms The founder of the children of God David Berg was just another and a long line of people who either belong to or were leaders of French Christian sex Berg's earliest ancestors in America were a trio of Jews who converted to a Mennonite sect known as the Dunkers so named because they preferred to nearly drown their congregants during baptism also not to not to Completely interrupt, but if you've ever had an apple cider donut made by the Amish community only good thing they do and furniture as well furniture as well and quilts. Oh I have to say I just had a terrible flashback, of course, I grew up evangelical. We know that I got dipped in

I believe it was Iverson or Jordan Park and I was so fat I wore the white shirt cuz I was like they're never gonna see my boobs now and I got dumped by Pastor Matt I come out of the water they laughed at me. Yeah, they laughed at my boobs and you know when you wear the shirt your belly button Becomes larger than it actually is it looks like you can go spelunking in it and they laughed at me Oh, yeah, all the fat kids tried that we call that the swimming pool fallacy Fallacy I did that throughout my whole I told that story before about how I used to wear the shirt in the pool And then they used to make fun of me relentlessly and then they pulled me in the shower and stripped me nude and all made fun of my penis And that's how Henry Zabrowski knew he wanted to be president

But it's also David Berg's grandparents when they so they chose the hard way from the very beginning He said his grandfather was known as like a fighter that he would literally go as these Jewish guys now Mennonites different from Jewish to Amish now They're living in America and they're literally just going places and fighting people in the street And he said that they had no idea what they were doing like religiously But they made a shit ton of money and David Berg put it because his grandfather was a Jew all the way to the end David Berg is a great man. You guys are really gonna love David Berg as we go through these episodes Yeah, and Berg's grandfather John Lincoln Brandt was a campalite

Which was a movement that looked to return the church to a purer time before established church doctrine Avoiding what they called quote Churchianity, huh? That's an interesting term. I kind of like it. Yeah, churchianity meaning That they are more beholden to the church than they are to the word of God Yeah, they're big fancy church talk where they don't have sex with their children and don't have sex with their sisters and brothers Interesting. I mean I sort of took it the other way. I thought they would be against the institution But pro only the biblical word. Yeah, that's exactly what that is what it is Okay, they are doing the flip reverse of biblical words so deep that even Jesus Christ is just like I'm gonna kill myself again

I'm gonna come back just to kill myself again Just so that you guys can get a bit of a redo because there's some kind of you guys are going off the fucking campus here But then when you actually do read the Bible everything you can pick out some very creepy passages And I would think Jesus must have a quite a few Steven Erkl moments. Did I do that? He's like, why are you having sex with your knees right here, sir? He says you can you? He's just in heaven right now fucking the hole in his hand over and over again Berg's mother Virginia Brandt was a radio evangelist and traveling preacher who made her name during the Pentecostal Revival that took hold during the early part of the 20th century, which was big on fire and brimstone

Speaking in tongues laying of hands. They called old-time religion, but it's interesting because this is like a new fangled at the time This is like the hip quote-unquote hipster Religion where they were she putting a lot of passion and intensity into Christianity and also ladles and ladles of horseship Right. Yeah, Virginia's hook came from an accident She supposedly had in which she was thrown from a horse and buggy broke her back and was bedridden for five years and one day Miraculously and without explanation She rose from her bed cured and was then forth known as the miracle woman telling her tale of divine healing She took her story which she called from death bed to pulpit and became one of America's first female evangelists and

Hosted a fairly popular radio show that she called Meditation moments. I mean she definitely made the best out of a terrible situation Why couldn't James Kahn do the same thing from the film misery, you know, he was just lying there like a whiny ass Well, the only problem was that was all bullshit. None of that happened Yeah, none of it happened years later one of David Berg's daughters revealed that during the time She was supposedly bedridden. She was actually down in Fort Worth attending Texas Christian University Which is actually a more inspiring story She was in college getting her master's degree

But the problem was that she was having a child at the time that went on to disown them because she did she grew up like Basically immediately became an atheist like some kids do and saw through all of their horseship was like what are you guys talking about? And they kind of exercised her from the family. So she used that story to cover up that whole birth of a child Yeah, well, she didn't just use it that you I mean David Burke I mean in other words justifying a lie in order to get people to believe in Jesus's word that was in birds DNA, I mean these people are no different from Bigfoot Hunters who fake dead Bigfoot bodies because they know in their hearts that Bigfoot is real they absolutely know the Bigfoot is real, but they don't have any real proof So they make some shit up to get people halfway there and if the ends justify the means it's all okay, exactly

David Berg's father his name was Helmer Berg. What was that? Helmer Berg? I'm sorry. Well, Helmer Berg? Helmer Berg. His first name is Helmer. Last name Berg. Is he a talking couch from Peewee's Playhouse? It does sound like it. Helmer Berg. It does sound like a piece of furniture from Ikea that has come to life He was a poor Swedish immigrant who before coming to America made extra money During the Swedish summers performing musical numbers and acrobatic routines in a wandering minstrel show Now this isn't going to be one of your racist minstrel shows These shows going to be lots of kicking and dancing and jumping and oof It seems my trousers have fallen around me ankles

Is there a child who's giving it a circus? Oh no, no, Helmer. I slapped my own hand. Slept my hand must not be here, Helmer And that is if Charles Inge was born a Swedish man I don't know how to do a Swedish accent. I love it. Now that we're in the world of just Sweden I'm allowed to do it. I don't miss Swedish bullshit connected to it It is jorn if jorn and Helmer stand and tall and blonde who said to have a beautiful tenor singing voice Did nothing to stop anyone from hurting anyone? See now we talk a lot here about the perfect serial killer soup

For example, Henry Lee Lucas was created by a terrible childhood with an abusive mother and already broken mind made worse by exposure to Brain rotting chemicals and the ease of passage of a drifter lifestyle Now you're really selling it Marcus, and I actually want that At this point in time I want that Better than split P. I'll tell you that so when you combine David Berg's Ancestry with the first 50 years of his life as a failed charismatic preacher and add in the naivete of the hippie movement David Berg was the product of a perfect cult leader soup It's very interesting how we see that that's true that there are a certain number of factors that completely work out for a cult leader

And a part of it's having a period of time with a lot of this shit going on and now what we know is that it was in the 1920s in America the 1960s in America and then also with the 70s 80s in Japan Right there'd be perfect fertile time for people that have lost themselves. They're a part of a new generation They're looking for somebody to talk to and all of these weird side religions are getting mixed together And that's where someone like David Berg who's not necessarily great on detail work But great on broad strokes is good at taking a bunch of religions and smashing them together and have you allow you to have sex with your Children it is unbelievable. I mean my parents they turned today's star. That was their Christian cult They were all over the place and the irony is it was the children. This was their rebellion against their evangelical or Baptist

Whatever parents. Oh, yeah, we'll definitely get into the whole rebellion part of it. Now as far as David Berg himself goes He was born in Oakland, California on February 18th 1919 in a letter to a friend of hers Virginia said about baby David At first he was a fat and robust little fellow, but I overfed him I had such a quantity of milk and he developed bowel trouble Mrs. Mrs. Zabrowski. No, I told you my thing I couldn't suck a lot of my mother's tit because I had weak cheek muscles Like a little picky I did drink my mom had a milk herself into a cup and I'd have to drink it out of a straw

They thought I was gonna die of malnourishment Oh, I think if I was a doctor out and said mr. Browsky, you just have the world's fanciest boy Only out of a cup will do I'll have it in the highball glass. Thank you. And don't be slow about it. It will spank for you. Here's a dollar I found it in my diaper Now the reason for writing the bowel trouble letter was that Virginia was claiming that a faith healing had taken place here She said a local healer had come to see the constipated baby done his work in the very next morning David had his first natural bowel movement since his breast milk induced sickness began

Nothing would please me more to go back to childhood where I'd be praised for taking shits again. Oh my god It was so nice. Is there a chance this person just accidentally sat on David and then he shat and he's like he's been cured Just rolled him back and forth on top of like a pizza tray. Yes Looked like we made a tootsie roll Congratulations, David It wasn't until after David was born that his family threw in with the Pentecostals Which in the 20s was just starting to gain steam Pentecostals for those of you who don't know are the snake handlers the faith healers the tongue speakers

These are the people that really really get into it and have either one of you guys ever been like a Pentecostal or four square church or anything like that I got kicked out of uh Christian school in third grade because I couldn't speak in tongues and that was an early indication about how I wouldn't be able to improvise And it really made me, uh, you know, uh, not do well at the people's improv theater during those classes It was horrific. I mean speaking in tongues. All you have to do is like the the The all right. Try. Oh, you hit a couple of triple B's in there too, man. You are good You should hear me in traffic. I feel like when I'm driving in LA and I'm alone I go

I have driven in traffic in LA with Henry many times for many hours and the things that I heard could end his career No 1925 when David was six the Berg family moved to Miami and started the Berg evangelistic dramatic company God that's so much fun. It's like it's like the electric company And all of these things were very exciting. These people really knew how to put on a show Yo, yeah, they're all they were all showmen They'd been that way for abs for years and they took it from a lot of different a lot of different spaces Because virginia was known as of course. She was the preacher But had jammer was known as choreographer and music director

So he literally was singing and dancing goose stepping around with his perfect blonde hair while everybody was just being like I can't believe how big the swede. They were just so excited to see a swede I feel like it's a michelle and marcus bachmann type thing happening here. I think marcus and this uh What's his name? Helmer Helmer in virginia. Yeah, he might have enjoyed a different type. He might have I do I do believe that night in the 1920s music director was slang for homosexual Yes

Now within just a year of starting the evangelistic dramatic company The group had moved from a small tent of just a few dozen to a 45 hundred seat auditorium David said his memories from this time were not so much of the revivals But more of the constant scoldings he got from his mother because the kid played with himself too goddamn much And this is true. He legitimately was a compulsive masturbator by the age of four years old And he does not remember a single thing about his childhood But just how much he loved to masturbate. That's it It but that's just a I don't know. Do you call your kid out for for diddlin?

I mean, he's two three four years old. Well, this is what I mean I've seen definitely parents feel like a kid get your hands out of your pants because kids like to put their hands in their Pants especially boys. It's warm You get a medium satisfaction Yeah, it's just I mean But most kids you can just kind of like spat them off me like hey kid. You can't do that in public That's mostly that's what most people do. I was a new boy too. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like I was always taking my pants off I'd get a little like and I go like hey, I'm like go

I'd stick it at plants and stuff. You know what I mean? But I but I was given a healthy dose of shame Yeah, the shame helped keep me together I think you have to just deliver the shame in a in the proper way You don't beat them so then they get hard and then they associate a whipping with it And that's pretty much what happened with David Berg one night when Virginia caught David diddlin himself She brought the whole family into the room Oh and brought a bowl and knife along with her and told David that if he didn't stop diddlin himself She was gonna cut off his dick in front of the whole

Family. This is how you make John Travolta. This is this is not good parenting But David said that that didn't stop him at all because quote It felt too good to quit my dear You also told a story unconfirmed that he had a Mexican babysitter named Maria who quote Used to suck me to sleep for my nap every afternoon God, I do like the idea of him being four years old and sounding like Christopher Lee Maria come closer How am I supposed to take my nappy without my baba?

Unless you give me a little bit of a sucky sucky on my wee wee knob But it is very sad because and disturbing because he's four, but if he's 34 I mean that's it. It's also it's criminal Now David would later use this incident as an excuse to molest young children under the guys of quote Calming them down and to command and allow other members of his cult to do the same In fact, his daughter used to talk about how her dad To get her to sleep and she would talk about this just completely openly like it was the most normal thing in the world She said that he used to give him a front rubbin

I was just wondering. Okay, so you have a situation and this is a this is a question that I'm asking Put it on my student cap Okay Because I will say researching this whole children of god cult. I feel very I felt very Pete Townsend. Yes. It is disgusting They said they felt normal with it. Yeah until society told them it was abnormal If the society would have never said it was abnormal Would they have up top that came from David David told them that society told him That's that was supposed to be abnormal and now we're normalizing it now

We're gonna hear the term normalizing a lot now because of donald trump and all stuff But that's the idea right it's creating making it but now making it every day making it right a thing that we're now Going to get used to he said that it would there was nothing wrong because he experienced sexual activities a child and he liked it But mostly just because he probably is a sociopath or psychopath. He's a he's a textbook narcissist But would the shame be attached so heavily to it if society didn't deem it? I mean, obviously it's completely repulsive in this cult What burg has to have is that he has to have his children He has to have the people that are closest to him

He has to force them to come out because these people were not okay with it They were just saying in public that they were okay, right, right? So burg forces these people to go out and say like hey Listen, it was done to me when I was a kid and look at how great I turned out to be I'm second in command of the children of God the cult that all of you not even called the family That all of you belong to in love so it's completely and totally okay for you to do it to your kids and to let us do it to your kids Meanwhile, we're gonna get there we're gonna get there because you gotta remember at some point He's just building the cult what we now know about cults is that once he wants it's too late Then he can because we're gonna that the whole children the idea of sexualizing children doesn't really happen until later on

Yeah, when he is now like he's already got them. They've already given them their possessions He is now got them and he is now slowly advancing that starting with his inner circle And it started so inner it started with his kids and you actually see this obsession sexual obsession In many starts of many religions and Mormonism is number one like Joe Smith What used his sexual addiction in order to and and use the Bible to back up his polyamory to have multiple lives Because it's all on him. It was about it's all about his sexual gratification We're gonna find about David Berg is that it's got nothing to do with the family. He's got nothing to do with the cult He's trying to create an entire society that says it's okay for him to live how he wants to live

With his sexual his sexual problems because children have no consent children cannot give consent. They cannot say Yes, please. Yes. Thank you. No matter how they respond. So it's like you are you are showing a child From very early when you do these sorts of acts toward them that they have no power Which destroys their ego for the rest of their life. Yeah, and as far as sex being the motivators of cults It's not just the wand of sex, but also the shame of sex. Look at heaven's gate Heaven's gate was a complete and total reaction to marshal apple whites um just a complete and total uh

Lack of understanding and lack of acceptance about his own homosexuality is that that was the whole thing with marshal apple White is that he was gay so his way to try to overcome his gayness Was the castration thing and then when that didn't work. It was the mass suicide thing I mean, that's the whole thing about heaven's gate is that it happened because marshal apple white couldn't come to terms With the fact that he wanted cock Well, the first thing that happened with and michael with it with uh apple white was he saw aliens and he's like I want to have Sigourney weaver's haircut and then he shaved his hair and then he's like now i'm now i'm going with Now i gotta cut this thing off

Well david as is fairly obvious at this point He had a lifelong compulsion towards and an obsession with sex and his mother's attempts to curb that seem to have the absolute Opposite effect when she caught him masturbating again when he was a teenager She called in burg's father hyalur and made david finish to completion in front of him How would this work? It's the equivalent of you. Oh, I caught you smoking now smoke the whole pack next thing You know the guy's the marble man. Well, I mean, that's what this david when you do a bit of your jerky jerk I couldn't help but notice you don't squirt very much. Here's some celery He just makes keepsly telling him, you know

Can you imagine being i have to do that in front of your homosexual swedish father? Oh, good. Yeah, that is that's insane. Well that what it actually seemed to do with david burg is that it seemed to instill like a Ridiculously rebellious attitude towards sex for david and it somewhat normalized the shattering of sexual boundaries towards family members because of course like he would be sitting there masturbating in front of his father and And that didn't dissuade him and him just sitting there polishing the buttons to his leader hosin Choreographing five girls in a crucifix position trying to shout about the triumph of god How could you not come? But this is if you're a parent you walk in on your teenage son?

It's very normal to masturbate. You just walk out. Yeah, why would you I don't there's some issues here Yeah, there's quite a few. My mom called me my mom caught me once Uh masturbating on on the computer and um, she called me. Uh, she said you're a pig You're a disgusting pig and then pulled me out into the other guy because they had put the computer in my room When I was 14 years old not a good idea And it was like life I had known about porn and we had just gotten the internet and so I just went like Lesbian school girls. I just went click click click click click like a like a On orangutan using a tool

That was it Well that whole sexual boundaries between family members that would almost be crossed with david's mother According to david at the age of 19. See by the time david was in his late teens He was working as his mother's chauffeur driving her from revival to revival So she could spread the word of the miracle woman and one night They found themselves having to stay in a cold room With only one bed As the two shared the bed the temperature dropped

And david's mother wrapped him in a warm embrace And what henry is about to read? This is not hearsay. This is not secondhand This is information that david berg not only freely offered but sent out to his followers in a letter henry So remember this okay, so number one. He's bragging about this Number two, he I'm going to again describe to you what virginia berg looked like She looked like danie david with a wig on Oh, not bad

I mean she used like he from his perspective again Just remember I just want to say this out there to all men to all women too If you you have problems if you have a problems deciding if you want to sleep with somebody or not and you find someone Irrationally attractive master bait first Master bait before making a life changing decision All right, let's go do the bit My first reaction was absolute terrified shock to think that my mother would get so close to me And wrap her arms around me and her body around mine in such an homosexual embrace

It certainly was a loving embrace and affectionate and perhaps she meant nothing by it whatsoever But I think for the first time in my life. I had sexual feelings about my mother And in those days when very young, I was quite virile impotent I could remember having her sluggle and feeling her warm sloth body against mine Her bosoms against my back She had on a nightgown a very thin nightgown She was still a beautiful woman at 55 charming and although a little on the plump side

quite pretty and very attractive And there she was with her bosoms against my back and her arms wrapped around me and almost her legs wrapped around me I suddenly got quite an electric sexual jolt that I had never experienced before And I was almost immediately wrecked Perhaps if I had not been so conservative and extremely narrow-minded in my theology and religion at the time and so absolutely frightened Of my mother seeming abandoned at the moment. I might have been a little more responsive Perhaps I could have satisfied both of us and our mutual tremendous sexual needs

Could have developed into a beautiful sexual relationship Gee all right, I mean well my question is is that who's hard now? Well, I know I did want to ask but I didn't even want to ask though I don't I don't think we should even go down that road because if you are then Thanks for listening If you aren't that's good I gotta feel if we ask David Berg the question that Henry's been asking everyone on the last stream on the left How much money would it take to have sex with your mother?

I think that like I think I would take a dollar simply for the Jimmy hat Yeah, I think David would take one of those one dollar ceremonial fees I think so too All right. No, he didn't do it. So he did show some restraint. I mean, well, he didn't do it. He didn't rape his own mother Yeah, you're right. So I mean, I'm just you know, so that is good That's a positive No with world war two raging and David not wanting any part of the fight naturally He became an ordained minister and conscientious

Objector in 1941 and that his first wife jane miller two years later They married and had two children Deborah in 1945 and Aaron in 1947 David was appointed to be a minister to a struggling church in valley farms, Arizona But was run out of town amid rumors of a sex scandal that to this day remain a mystery David said he left because he wanted native americans to attend the service But the town refused and he left on moral grounds. Oh, I see David tried so hard You know, he tried so hard. This is unbelievable. So this This disgusting human being took the moral high ground against fighting the nazis and then he went to what was it texas

Uh, arizona arizona and pretended like he was too open-minded for the church. Yeah What a drug. Excuse me. Your name is chief running bear So lovely to meet you or mind me. I couldn't help but notice your daughter Yes, it's so it's so young and sweet. He is 14. Yes 14 That's almost uh, it's almost a spin stroll in my age You know what I mean? I would appreciate it if you stayed away from my daughter I want nothing to do with your daughter. I'm not sure you're nothing whatsoever

I was wondering if you wanted something to do with your These are the deleted scenes from there will be blood Fake love to your daughter Huh, it always seems to go back to that in some strange way. You can find a segue into it No matter what we're talking about now after he got run out of valley farms He worked under a faith healer named orval jaggers, but that didn't work out. These aren't names and these aren't people I don't believe any of this is true any longer. Well, you've never met a name Orval jaggers

No, because that is like that is a make-believe name that you tell the cops when you know you're on the lamb What if that was what the original meaning of the song moves like jagger came from maybe Now after orval David moved on to an evangelist named fred jordan who had founded the american soul clinic Which was a missionary training school and david spent 15 years with jordan working under his shadow Just as he had worked under the shadow of his mother and a falling out came in 1966 and david now almost 50 Years old took his four kids on the road as the berg family singers Which was another failure see a lot of cult leaders are miserable failures before they find their calling

See berg was a failed preacher if you watch the documentary holy hell that's on netflix right now It's fucking awesome. You'll see that the leader of the buddha field cult haimi gomez who re christened himself Andreas was a failed actor And gay in gay porn as well. Yep, and charles manson was just all around failure david koresh I mean david koresh. I mean he was pretty much a failure. He was pretty much a failure. He got in on it early He was a religious career man Yeah, I mean so that's where david berg is really interesting is that because he was a religious career man But he was just no good at it because his time just wasn't right

But also we're gonna look at there's the the other thing that's very similar to serial killers in this respect Which is you remember how we talked about the reason why a lot of serial killers go active in their 30s Because the idea is that at some point society looks at someone who's in their 30s and says like you should have a family You should have a house you should have some semblance of a career going together And a lot of times serial killers have nothing so it almost is like it becomes their new job It becomes like a thing like oh, I can do this Yeah, so a lot of these people really are like for most of their lives. They are their failures They're not actually doing much. They're not doing what they feel like they should be doing

Uh, but berg was actually about to catch his big break But not before he had to live under his mother's shadow one last time God, do you know how much you like that though? Oh, of course. Yeah, so he just wish he was living under his mother's fucking panties So virginia berg was retired and living over in huntington beach in southern california right outside of los angeles And mama berg couldn't help but notice all of the rudderless hippies wandering around with no particular place to be and nothing in particular to do Right, so virginia started handing out peanut butter sandwiches to the aimless youth of a hippie culture that was already dying And once those hippies were in her buttery embrace She told them about the word of jesus

I spent a week covered in peanut butter. It does not bring anyone closer to you Oh, definitely not. It would be fun though. Oh, it would be fun. Yeah Now don't this is also this is the main problem with being too open-minded. I'm down with being open-minded in general As you can imagine, I'm fairly open-minded when it comes to things I believe in But you just can't be turned on to jesus christ because somebody gave you a fucking peanut butter sandwich If you're tripping nuts though, it sounds like this chick is jesus That's all that's the only thing I want for my lord and savior is a peanut butter sandwich I'm gonna need the jelly. I chili. I tell you what I fucking got a got a lot less for my fucking catholic church than the peanut butter sandwich

I didn't even get my less That's sad David burg rejoined his mother in huntington beach in 1968 changed the name of his kids band from the burg family singers to teens for christ and set them to performing on the beaches of california And when mama burg finally died david was 50 years old and he said that at that moment his bitterness Turned into a voice for revolution. No, you're gonna see so literally his best time Literally the best part of his life was after he was 50 years old

You need to remember that guys as if you go out there and you're struggling in your 30s Sometimes it takes your 50 to figure out how to run your cult. He's kind of like a brian cranstad That's true. I yeah, yeah, the uh, like yeah, it's kind of the Pentecostal days that was like his air wolf You know the huntington beach time that was sort of his You would say is Malcolm in the middle and then eventually the children of god that would be his breaking back I like Malcolm in the middle more than breaking bad. I'm gonna say it. I like the little I like the kid in the wheelchair why He was so weird

Uh, he's great and I think Malcolm. Well, I mean what a Toward a force, huh? Yeah, and I love the kid and I love the little And you know what's also one of my favorite parts about Malcolm in the middle None of the parents fuck the kids in it not once not once See david bergs movement was just one of many that were taking advantage of the disillusionment of the hippies in the late 60s A lot of these people had come out of the good times feeling empty and a lot of them decided the only thing that could fill The hole left behind was jesus if you're asking yourself if you could fill that fucking nine inch fucking three inch around Fucking the hole inside each one of us boom boom boom just fucking raggedly fill him that hole

Like jackhammer I mean a lot of people like wonder in fact, I wonder this myself like how is california so full of christians Why are there so many christians in california and this is one of the reasons why is that a lot of these people They were in the hippie movement They found that it was all complete and total horseshit So they moved on to jesus to still get that little jolt that they needed that they used to get from promiscuous sex And a little bit of weed nasa and let's be honest the sun makes you dumb And good weather makes you stupid everyone is beautiful. So you don't have to be smart

Mm-hmm. Uh, there is a perfect storm of failed actors Uh future waiters who found jesus christ all they were looking their empty vessels looking to be filled with any Any kind of information and knowledge to give their life self-worth Here's literally there's literally nothing more gullible or sellable than a failed actor See you could take a failed actor and you could turn them into anything you could break them down This is who this is who mk ultra should have been using Because those fucking actors would have jumped right into fake being child prostitutes in a fucking sack. Oh my god The cia is like, oh, we've got to give them drugs. We've got it

No, you got to you have to be a manager who gives them a motivational speak Speech about how great it is to weight on the wealthy and then boom you ever if you ever been in the service industry Yeah, the pre service speech is like we're out there. It's like it's like patent Telling the troops to go to war. Yeah, I worked at joe's crab shack You should have heard the bullshit that that guy told us before we went out to dance to the austin power's theme song You need to put everything you have into the chicken dance If you don't put everything you have then you are doing a disservice to the joe's crab shack name They say the next frontier is space

But many scientists say that the next frontier is the ocean now also remember Concritters are four for nine today. Whoa You didn't just say four for nine today. See as far as really sweeping in uh and taking advantage of all this Berg is really not that different from manson and in fact charles manson is the cult leader that I would compare Berg to the most Berg like manson came upon the 60s counterculture from a completely different world as an outsider and Immediately saw an opportunity to manipulate and control these people and who else does it sound like? Outsider talking to from the coming in the opportunity to manipulate broken people Alex Jones, right?

Are you talking about alex jones? No alex jones is now legit I know he's become a voice in in america, but now look at this this time period. We had manson Jim jones l run hubbard. They were all in the same areas right doing the same shit They were all like sign told you was another offshoot of weird road weird christianity christianity mixed with like meditation practices You got jim jones also doing fringe christianity Everybody is getting into the everybody getting into it business. I got us all in california If I could go back in time you're talking to a 1950s father yelling at his son for growing on his hair

Everything he told that son was true You're right all of a sudden you gotta have starts having sex with everybody you're gonna take drugs You're gonna end up an evangelical crazy christian or whatever it might be It all became true I almost think the the 50s were a better generation than the 60s because the 60s caused the 70s See the big difference between burgh and manson was that burgh was about 20 years older than manson because manson was In his early 30s when he came across the hippie movement and burgh also already had Extensive training as a charismatic religious leader from years in the pentecostal church

But most importantly burgh wasn't a complete and total moron like manson was like burgh Like burgh had more mansons just a fucking idiot Who just man you just fucking slipped slopped his way in there and then you've got but like burgh has training Which is really dangerous for a group of impressionable people he had 15 years training in a missionary school I gotta give the guy a little bit of credit. He did his time. Yeah I mean, it wasn't like he just jumped right to crazy preacher like manson did he worked really hard at the profession So the children of god had its beginnings at the light club A coffee house and youth ministry in huntington beach started by teen challenge

Which was a part of the pentecostal denomination assemblies of god And it was almost tailor made to have burgh step in There's so many places like this in la when you drive around that are just off shoots of Scientology It's all the same shit. It's like one is like the house of unified philosophy The house of like all of these like weird like they have like esoteric five or four word long Like club names. They're all off shoots of Scientology all leads back to a cult mentality And it's so la has not changed a fucking bit. No, absolutely not See burgh he let his kids lay the groundwork the band the teens for christ

They would lure people off the boardwalk by covering pop songs. Then they give them free coffee and free peanut butter sandwiches Again with the peanut butter sandwich trap I don't I know I don't under but their mouths are so wet with just acid drip Man once these people were comfortable. That's when the proselytizing would begin And you know what the science the celebrity center for Scientology uses they play major league On a screen outside of this the celebrity center once a week wait major league the charlie the charlie sheen movie the baseball movie Yes, it is unbelievable. You may say you don't have to do any yeah the balls The guy walking around

Uh, you know, it's so easy. You just give them a little bit. You just make them feel mildly comfortable It's a very common tactic among cults. They lull in Vulnerable people into a place of comfort and belonging and once that person feels like they finally found a group that understands them It's usually after like a couple of days. The harry christians were really good about this. They'd go up to people That looked lost that looked a little bit sad and they'd say like hey brother What's going on? They'd start having a conversation with them and then they'd say like hey listen We're all going up to this retreat in the mountains for a couple of days Do you want to come with us? You got anything going on and these people they're very lonely

They're very sad and they got nothing to do and also people were a lot more trusting back then and they'd say sure Let's go and check it out. You know that sound is what that's the sound of fishing the boat Going fishing reel it in the fish. That's it. Yeah, and then after they hung out for a couple of days And they had a really good time. They really like everybody every and more importantly Everybody likes them right and that is when the sales pitch comes in because think about this. Who is a more unspoken to? And an unloved group of people than a group of people that would show up on a lawn in the middle of franklin avenue In order to watch major league in public. I agree You know what though there has to be at least a few people who totally understood what the game was

Let's just say I'm walking down the street. Papa John's is in the house. Papa's in the house. Come on in free papa I'm like, okay. I'm gonna be there as soon as they start preaching. I'm out. Yeah, you're a sucker. I'm the winner You're an asshole. I just got free papa John's credit cards I signed up for two credit cards to get free sandwiches at um a quiz nose You you you beat capital one See what burg would do is he lurked in the shadows and he watched his kids perform for all the unwashed hippies He'd pay attention to what they responded to and what turned them off and he finally came up with the perfect in capital T capital s

the system System man. Yeah, the system dude. That's what's keeping us down, bro. God. It is so trumpian um It's ridiculous. It really is and in 1968 he published his public declaration and a huntington beach newspaper called The war on the system where he raged against the educational system the church system the government and most importantly The parental system and yeah, mom. Fuck dad. They won't let you have sex with them They don't understand you and then if that wasn't enough here's a free peanut butter sandwich Boom. I mean now, you know what? I'm hooked now. I actually want to I want to be one of the child of god

See this right here. This was a Genius move on bergs part. He parent he painted he painted the parents as the rebels Rather than the kids being the rebels see the kids They were looking to return to the old times and things were simple You know, you just why you got to wear a shirt man while we got to wear shoes Why can't we just wear sandals share everything? Why can't we just be a community? Why do we got to get a job and I'm sitting here my underwear in a dog bed You are the future Henry and Berg told them that it was the parents who were actually rebelling against god

Which it's pretty much. I'm not crazy. You're crazy. We're the normal ones What kind of god would be looking down on earth and be like take it off Take your clothes off. Would you I mean they're like bizarre strip club owners or something But really what they would do is they'd say like man Jesus was the biggest rebel at all. Oh, I heard that's so much growing up this. I'm having so many flashbacks Do I want us? Yeah? Oh, absolutely, man like Berg he the people like him They're the forerunners of all those Jesus is radical youth pastors that we all had to fucking deal with The cool preachers who ever once in a while would say damn. Oh

Oh Oh, yeah, I don't give a damn what they think. Oh my god. He must be amazing We'd better trust everything he fucking says and you know what how many of those cool youth pastors? We all know a cool youth pastor who got busted for fucking one of the teenagers They always were fucking the teenagers. They always were reverend jim. What are you after? What do you do after meetup today? It's like hey, man. Just call me jim Yeah, all right. Yeah, cool. Yeah, I couldn't help but notice you're hanging out with Alisson like a long time afterwards

I didn't know if you guys were having some kind of bible study or like some kind of hangout like some kind some kind cool Because I'd love to come I got all this popcorn. I'd love to make popcorn and maybe we could play the guitar or something He's like no, no, no, no, paul You're so fucking stupid. No, no, no paul I just need you to just stick to bible something stick to meet up Okay, all right, because uh, I'm gonna be knuckles thief and alison in about two hours Oh, it's unreal. Get it out of here. Get it out of here. All right. Love Jesus christ. Jesus christ loves you So accurate. Yeah, the punk the punk youth minister all of these fucking

I mean, it is disgusting like I want my men of god to be old and kind of crusty Yes, they could be very friendly. They could be very much about love and peace But don't try to fucking be cool. I just want mr. Rogers. By the way, mr. Rogers, uh, I read about christian great man Wonderful man. I read a little bit about uh, mr. Feely the mailman. Yeah, he did regret that name. He really did I bet he did. I bet he did. He didn't understand how people would pervert him. He didn't get it I can't remember where mr. McFeely came from it was his mother's maiden name Yeah, McFeely was his mother's maiden name So he did it as a tribute to her and then just didn't think about it because he's such a kind

So great guy. They changed it from the first draft of the name, which was mr. McFeely me Oh, uh, see that's why that's why That's why I hated it But they also flipped because the idea is that the way the hippies so they talk about how like hippies never call themselves hippies Right, they call themselves freaks. Yeah, that's kind of the idea is that they they adopted the name freaks And so in this world, they like the term jesus freak They would talk about the term jesus freak to the point where billy gram Said i love the jesus freaks right who cares if they've got long hair because they preach in jesus christ

And then when it comes down to it, what's lamar then billy gram saying he likes you Oh, these jerk offs. These are the ones who put carter in the white house But we're not gonna get into that Um, it is interesting though. So he did not want to be the god He did allow jesus to be the the main figure of his cult. He wanted to be moses sure Yeah, but that is a little bit different than someone like a david karash or charles mansons. Yeah He was not the savior. He was merely the person. He was the prophet. That's what he wanted to be All he wanted to be was the prophet

He wasn't claiming because that was able to get even more people in because if you've got like a cult leader that is claiming I am god, then you're gonna have a hell of a lot less people Saying yes sign me up But if you have someone saying like i'm not god, we love god But I have all of the answers that god is giving me Then that is at least a tiny bit more reasonable, you know, like you look at people like joe ostin Of course attach yourself to a bigger brand. Yeah, that's all it is exactly Well, again, it's also about it's it's feeding them and letting it grow because you can see it

It's like so we're saying right here, right? He started growing out of his hair and his beard giving sermons dressed in a japanese kimono Which is questionable But then he's mixing around the names because it's really about coming up with a good name Right because the cult needs a good like ome shinrikyo. Whoo. Well, that is a good cult name. Yeah, it's wonderful He went from teens for christ to the jesus children to the jesus movement getting there to Revolutionaries for christ fun, which is kind of fun. It's getting there civil war reenactment II. Yeah a little bit little stinky But finally they were actually given their name Through a newspaper article that was written about them when they started getting a little bigger

A newspaper journalist called them the children of god Which is also how spider-man got his name Didn't richard vermirez also get his name from the newspaper the night stop Yeah, yeah, he wanted to be something else, right? He wanted like that. Well, they originally called him. Uh, what was it the screen door intruder? Yeah, screen door intruder So what they did is they co-opted 60s counterculture even further by encouraging sit-ins marches and protests against established churches and what they deemed to be unfair arrests at Huntington beach college when a few of their members were charged with trespassing when they refused to stop handing out religious pamphlets on campus

These guys really push to make themselves an enemy and this is why I do sympathize with people in political power Because everyone looks at protesters like oh, they must be protesting for my cause But then you actually go and talk to them and you're like no I am protesting Less gaping in porn or like whatever like they protest these random You know people aren't racist enough and I'm here to tell the tell the american people to get more racist It's like you guys are getting creative What is uh, but we also remember at this point the children of god was an almost asexual church, right? It's like he was doing it was no there was no sex. There was no sexual church

Yes, it was like becoming uh, very it was about purity It was about they were preaching god and they were driving around on buses and the idea was that they were the only Sex was only allowed between a married man and woman and it was about purely Living in your faith and which is what really got people involved in it actually because there was so much Hedonism in the hippie movement that everyone was used to drugs and sex they wanted to break from it So that's a part of how he sort of keyed them in like now He's doing that not only he has the look of a hippie and like they all do they all look like hippies But now he's saying it's actually cool to be pure

And so that's built it's building a little world where everybody feels comfortable and then slowly but surely You start fucking with it. Yeah, this is what you can get away with Yeah, a lot of these people like all the free love and drugs it hurt a lot of people Like it's yeah, it absolutely hurt a lot of people and a lot of different ways I mean it really scarred the soul, you know a lot of these people Uh in hate ashberry like for example like I mean that turned into a heroin tent I mean a lot of these kids came out Uh, they came out and they were homeless a lot of them ended up in prostitution and not only that

But you know if you're fucking somebody and you really dig them and all of a sudden they start fucking somebody else saying that it's free love That sucks, right? It really does suck I mean these people like the the hippie movement was just a whole feel the heartbreak And people like david burg came in and told him like hey listen, we're gonna get away from all that We're still gonna do the spiritual stuff. We're still gonna do the stuff that you can feel good about We're only gonna take the stuff that you can feel good about and that's all we're gonna do until of course He decides to do a little bit more So by 1969 it was time for burg to start making prophecies like all good cult leaders are prone to do

He predicted that a great earthquake was going to swallow up california So they got to get the hell out of there a lot like Manson once again Oh, I'm Shinrikyo everybody colds have to have a narrative A cult leader has to start building a narrative to keep people in line and you have to develop a sort of loose time limit Because you're you're creating the tension You're creating yes, it's your you're you're stuck in this and we're gonna do and now because what you can do is

I mean like it's only a year It's only two years people are signing on for little chunks of time until all of a sudden It's been 15 20 years because that's the idea you keep stringing it and moving the timeline They sound like every divorcee Everyone who's ever been in a marriage and it's also they tend these prophecies tend to lead to more isolation Right they tend to like separate themselves from society further and further and further Yeah, I mean he had to get these people on the move because they're just hanging out And if people are just hanging out then eventually people get bored. That's just human nature people just get bored

So you have to keep them moving you have to give them Something to look forward to even if it is the end of the world They get bored and also they are connected to society still so there's still judgment They're receiving judgment probably from friends and family from places where they go to They're like they are now being known as cult members They're being talked about behind their back and he's also seeing like the tv everyone's watching tv They're starting to maybe think well, maybe this is not normal. Maybe this is not maybe group think which is always bad Is bad, you know what it means? It's like they they're starting to think and then so he needs to say no

No, no, no, I need to bring them just into my hands Yeah, and not only that but parents are starting to notice as well Parents are starting to get real worried about all of these cults extremely worried So in 1969 Berg left a small congregation behind in Huntington beach Just in case the earthquake did not swallow up california And that was the beginning of his many colonies that would over the next couple of decades dot the entire Planet you guys don't even know just yet the huge gigantic scope of this cult So Berg fled to arizona with about 50 followers

Comparing his trek to the israelite's wanderings in the wilderness and here they formed into 12 groups Modeled after the 12 tribes of israel and the children of god began their organization in earnest These guys must have been so fucking annoying Apparently they would pull in two or three school buses deep and the idea is that number one They did not pay for anything so everything had to be donated. They didn't have any cash Or they would take one credit card from one family members like cousin or uncle or father And they would pay for a bunch of shit They would roll in and then their big thing was proselytizing

They would come in and immediately evangelize everybody around them They must have been so like you see because they're also pretty attractive like young like hippy people playing guitar and all the shit It's like man, that would have must have been so lame when they showed up I mean most cults are attractive That's the that's the amazing thing is that these people what they do is they bring in the attractive people They really like the manson family That his whole thing was getting cute girls and getting people to Bring them he used to get cute girls and then have those cute girls bring more people into the fold

The buddha field cult their whole thing was beautiful people. That was the hottest goddamn cult. I've ever seen in my life The hottest one. Yeah. Oh, yes, even hotter than the hawaiian tropic cult That in the source family the source family and uh buddha field Nice. Oh, yeah, super nice these cults. I just want to say these cults are so they were so many of them I was just watching a documentary on netflix about this guy who I think he called himself a circuit breaker There was just like pis that would be hired by families of you know Members of their family would go and join cults And they would just kidnap them off the streets and then bring them into these institutions and break their minds again

Deprogram. Deprogram. We're actually going to get into that guy on the next episode. Oh great. Great. It's a great documentary on netflix Oh, yeah, he he went hard against the children of god. Yes, he did. Yeah, he really did So when they were in arizona, that's when karen zerby Aka mama maria entered the picture Zerby was another child of a preacher just like burg and had been raised extremely conservative. She was described as quote skinny bucktoothed an Extraordinarily plain She was a very plain looking woman, but you can see how this charismatic man

Older in a kimono Surrounded by people who worship him Can pull somebody pull someone like this deep into his web. Yeah, he was 28 years older than her Well, if you're extraordinarily plain, I think that you're no longer plain. You're like shelly devolve Who by the way does not really devolve is very sick. Yeah, she is very mentally ill She believes that robin williams is not uh dead. She believes that he is shape shifting I believe I think she also believes robin williams is a real grandmother and he wants to take care of the kids That's all he wants to do. I just can't believe that that old woman set her own breast on fire. I can't that's

So despite being extraordinarily plain Karen's erby was destined to become queen maria david burgh's second wife now ironically Karen was whisked away from her home by jane burgh david's first wife After karen had decided to join the children jane showed up at her house and distracted karen's parents While karen packed up her things they then fled and jumped in a van and met the rest of the congregation Over at the sears parking lot where they like to hang out on weekends because nobody would really bother them there Yeah, they're like waiting for doc to show up in a delorean I mean, what are they just hang out before they hang out in the sears parking lot all weekend

In the night for those that don't know that for the younger generation 1990s a lot of time in the target parking lot So much time in parking lots. So much parking lot. All we used to do was smoke weed in the car behind the walmart That's all you did and then you would just go home Yeah, and then you dig through the dumpster and see what you could find. Well, no marcus. That was what you did But this is very interesting So then you're going to see how little allowances build to the entire cult david burgh talked to jane burgh Right and he slowly said I think that karen is special Right and so he's like, okay

So they went all they did the full package to go get her out of there. Well now Burgh starts working on zerby telling her super super special super special while they're sitting in a sweet 26-foot-long 1963 dodge camper that many of the members also shared and he called it the arc Yeah, he knows it doesn't float, right? This is what burgh said about The courtship between him and karen later in a letter that went out to thousands of his followers Mostly we were just doing what we used to call necking just kissing cuddling Fondling and petting. She was a virgin. So took me a little while to get her opened up

But finally one night we got it together in our mean sex Good lord Now the reason why we have so many we're gonna talk about this the reason why we have so many quotes from david burgh is that because Eventually he would go into isolation and the only way he would speak to his entire cult was with these letters called the mo letters Which we'll get into so eventually burgh convinced both his wife and zerby that polygamy was the only way to go from then on And in a meeting convince these people I mean, how do you swing this because he's he used his status as the end time prophet He said listen, I'm the end time prophet

He found biblical justification for fucking zerby on the reg and he re-christened her maria Oh, so close to mary because he because his wife his first wife was already all in like she'd been with him for years She had stood by him for years and she bought all into this too And let's not pretend that these women aren't thrilled to have a night off from getting humped by this disgusting maniac Who thinks he's the second coming? I mean, it's I would be more than happy to get another gal in there that has to pet this hog So later that year burgh gathered his movement Which had grown to about a hundred by this time to the to the larentian mountains of cobec

A gathering that would be seen as the founding convention of the children of god david declared himself the new moses christening himself moses david Which would later be shortened to just mo david said that the end times were here and he Was the only one who could lead his people away from the established churches and the uncaring world of man And so it was time for armageddon to begin Once again and as we learned with ome shin rikio and the manson cult The best way to get people to do your bidding is to convince them that not only is the world ending

But the only way they can be saved is if they follow you and nobody else It's a good formula. It's a great formula burgh He went straight fundamentalist in his escape plan saying that his followers were to be the 144 000 allowed in heaven after the end times came and he which is what he also took that from the mormon shit That's like that's literally what he did. He took that little that little tool from the mormons. Well, I mean, yeah It's just not the mormons I mean that that's been used by fundamentalist christians for

Decades before burgh came along and he even sweetened the pot by saying that his followers would be able to pray people out of heaven To fill in their heavenly numbers should they not get to the 144 000 before the end times came? Uh, mr. burgh, that's really great. But do we have any more peanut butter sandwiches? I'm just here for the peanut butter sandwiches Unfortunately, we ran out of peanut butter sandwiches on tuesday, but I tell you what we've got piles and piles of Coney linguists Now burgh said that satan came in the form of protesters teachers government officials and pastors No authority figure could be trusted except burgh himself and course Of course and keeping true to the cult mentality all new members were required to sign what they called

Revolutionary contracts which forfeited all assets and properties to the cult The children of god soon settled at the texas soul clinic outside of the ghost town of thurber texas Which is where we'll pick back up next week. I'm just gonna say, you know what you don't have to settle outside of thurber texas Go inside thurber's a ghost town. Yeah, no one's there. It's right settle right into well There's a bit of a tourist thing. It's an old mining town. It's right off eye 20. It's right near groom and desdemona I heard if you're real lucky you could stub your foot on a piece of coat That is exciting. Yes, Henry. You if you are really lucky you can thurber's a wonderful place in texas mythology doesn't sound very Thurber's great. He said it was a ghost town. Yeah, I know it's super cool

Do you guys not want to go to a ghost town? Well, I don't know. I wouldn't describe it as like a great bastion of fun Yeah, I want to go to a place that has like a bar and a movie theater and like a dead like a dance hall The bar you can go to the bar in clandon, but there isn't one in furber So I I would like to go to the bar in furber, but there isn't one thurber Thurber oh, I see thurber. I'm sorry. Just remember the whole thing about this these episodes Which I like is to remember that group think is always bad always bad Well, unless you have if you're a construction team building a highway. It's very good. That's working together That's not group think well. You have to think with one mind

No, you don't no no the jackhammers need to think like jackhammers And the hammer guys the irregular hammers need to think like hammers the hammer guys The hammer guys. I don't I don't even know if you use a hammer to build a highway, but Anyway, um, all right. So the armageddon is upon us. Yeah, the armageddon is upon us They have a set up their first official settlement and uh next week is when we're really going to get into the Absolutely disgusting stuff like flirty fishing and then the week after that is when we're going to see Murder so this is the most innocent of the three parts easily the most innocent This is just telling you who these this is just telling you who these people are how they operate and what they do

And this is and we've never really covered a full on christian cult before I mean all the rest of the guys we've covered. I mean Waco. That was more about, you know, the government's response to it Ohm Shin Rikio, uh, they were more like they were a sci-fi cult the Manson family They were a Manson cult, uh, but I think it is important for us to really go through these christian cults and especially now Uh cult mentality because cult mentality is big now on every side I mean literally it's just like lynch mobs are everywhere on every part every part of the of our landscape in america right now And at this it's bad. It is always bad. Yeah, stay individual. Staying individual everybody like it be an individual You know, if someone offers you a peanut butter sandwich, you know, here we go. Just hear what they have to say

That's all I'm saying Don't even listen. Don't listen because ooh the sweet temptation of a peanut butter sandwich Uh, thank you guys so much for listening to this recent episode of last podcast on the left Thanks for supporting all the shows here on cave comedy radio. Um, so we have a round table of gentlemen That's a very fun show if you want to get, you know, just hang out with us poop gates back in the news Apparently and mattress gate is currently, uh, you know, mattress gates big right now mattress gate is Mattress gate is big and I I have the I was the one who technically provided the evidence that started The whole mattress gate thing again and I got to say

Give I'll give you two hundred dollars To give the mattress if we could mail it to donald trump I think that would be a campaign contribution that might be well, maybe not legal Um, it will speak to donald trump able against top out. We we were just on the news and new and noteworthy Part of itunes. So that was so nice from the front page of itunes. Thank you guys so much. We beat glenn beck Yeah, uh speaking of cult leaders who now wants to sort of backtrack on the cult that he started Oh, did you see that picture of him with a little uh, the trolley hat and the scarf in the classes? God, it's It's special. He's really having a good time. He is so thank you so much for supporting the shows

Page seven sex under human activities the lucky bone show and listen to wizard and the bruiser as well Holden mcnealy and jake young do a great, um, uh video game show absolutely and uh, December 17th in portland We still have some tickets for our early show that's definitely gonna sell out So get your tickets now January 7th in boston. We still got some tickets for the early show there as well These shows are without a doubt gonna sell out So don't sit on your hands get those tickets now and we're gonna be releasing tickets in December for chicago and san francisco. We can officially say those are coming So if you want first crack at those tickets go and follow us at lp on the left go join the facebook group

Uh tickets are always announced on those pages before we announce it on the show So if you want to make sure to get your tickets to these shows go and follow us And you'll be sure to get uh first crack at these things That's right And you know what you are allowed to sit on your hands if you can type with your nose That's kind of fun And if you really want to get first crack at these tickets join our patreon Thank you so much to everybody who has joined our patreon

You can go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left if you want to give even a dollar Helps every tiny little bit helps and it really is a big life saver here In fact, it allowed ben to do something pretty exciting lately. That's right I have big news that will still be appearing on fox news But I will no longer be producing on fox news because I don't have to do that any longer So thank you guys so much from the bottom of my heart I'm making money solely through the art and solely through um, you know These wonderful podcasts and live performances and it really does mean a lot to me. It's a it's been a long

Unbelievable journey, but 20 years in the making. Yeah, so thank you guys so much It's nice to see that you're you're you I mean you have tentative morals, but they were literally they were challenged They were challenged And you stepped back and you and you did it you saw the devil and then you came right back the bad devil Not the good devil. Yes, because also Speak of the good devil Please watch your pretty faces going to hell on adult swim sundays 11 30 eastern standard time We we're really doing well in the ratings and we really need to keep it that way

I I work so hard on the show. We all work so hard on the show It's like please please watch if you can like it's the these next couple episodes are going to be really funny Yeah, and of course, don't forget speaking of adult swim. Don't forget to watch the last stream on the left That's at adult swim calm every friday at 7 30 p.m. Eastern We're going to be taking next week off. We're not going to have an episode or a new stream next week We're all going to take a little bit of time off. Let our brains spool back up again But we will be back in two weeks with

Children of god part two. That's right We will be doing a top hat though and we will give you information to to win the Thanksgiving dinner table Oh, you're going to win it so hard. I came up with a good I actually came up with a pretty good metaphor To help explain it to the farmers, but we'll talk about that Uh, yeah, it's a how to talk about your little politics in the next show. I cannot handle it here. This is a safe space This is a safe space Surprisingly safe

And make sure you put plug us how follow us on twitter at Henry loves you instagram at dr. Fantas. It dr. Fantasty I'm at ben kissle ben kissle one on instagram still don't want to use it, but please follow me on twitter I really do love interacting and marcus barks is marcus barks for everything And uh for last spot against the left follow us at lp on the left on everything. Yeah, that's it. Um Um, yeah, hail yourselves. Yeah, hail game. I'll say hail satan Hail sweet sweet satan these times these hard hard times is good to rely on the only person that is remotely reliable Satan himself and which is yourself and guys don't have sex with your child this week Good. I don't think we have to constantly say that. I don't think we do unfortunately. I think we just

Donald trump called Hail yourself. You said no politics make goosalation president make goosalation. I said I said my goosalation. That's that's the end of it You're shocked for more shows like the one you just listened to go to cave comedy radio.com