Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 249: Children of God Part II - Dad Was A Sexy Guy

Episode Date: December 2, 2016

It gets real gross here on part two of Children of God as we cover the beginning of the Family's disgusting sexual habits and the Mo Letters, including phrases to say to Jesus when he's having sex with you and what really lies in the hollow moon. Witch Hunt Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ "Rocket Power" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecomm

No, it's really like probably the saddest thing of all about Rogaine what is that when you read about it Like I want to go like do some research about side effects of Rogaine What can do to you and stuff and the saddest thing is someone saying like yeah I got to use Rogaine every day, but it kind of also sort of doubles as like a hair styling product And it's very brutally sad. Yes. All right. Welcome to the last podcast of the leftover when I bet guess. Oh, that's Marcus Parks He's in a closet in Los Angeles. I'm not Henry Zabrowski. I am absolutely. I got my dog bed It's actually I'm very cold where I am right now because I'm on the side of a mountain surrounded by roosters and thousands of barking dogs

Feels like I'm in a weird tenement camp at the end of the world A weird tenement camp is sort of what we'll be talking about today. Oh, definitely All right, so this is the children of God part two and I can only describe this episode as Spunky and disgusting Because I'm not very spunky. It's very spunky, and I'm not gonna lie. I'm not looking forward to the content We are three people I would describe us at a base level as pretty horny. Yeah, right Like the three of us are like all got pretty healthy sex drives. I'm like a little chihuahua. I've described this describe this last episode David Berg though is

By far the horniest man. Did I say that he's hornier than Albert Fish? I don't think you said it until you just said it he is hornier than Albert Fish And I think it's he should have gotten a trophy. I don't know if that's true. I think you should have gotten a prison sentence So when we last left David Berg and the children of God in 1970 He and almost 200 of his disciples had settled at the Texas Soul Clinic on a plot of land outside of Thurber and Texas a ghost town off of I-20 close to Cadu and Palo Pinto I say blow it up. Yes. All the Texas needs to be redone Half the middle of Texas needs to kind of just be like let's give it a mulligan. It doesn't have to be blow it up

It's already in shambles. Yo build it up. Oh, yeah, absolutely all these towns are dead So here at the Texas Soul Clinic new members that they called babes were given new names Which is another classic cult tactic these names were always from the Old Testament names like Caleb Deborah and Shodrock, I love Shodrock from the Bible because he was the Klingon weapons specialist I remember that wasn't his friend a bendigo You know, it's interesting my brother had the reverse of this He had a biblical name to start with both Bartholomew and then all the kids called him Bart the Fart So from then on he went with Eric

Can't rhyme it. You can't rhyme anything with Eric. Derek. You could just call him big gay Eric But that's not a rhyme So the people after they were given their names were also given tribal Identities and split into 12 groups to many mimic the people were also given tribal Identities and were split into 12 groups to mimic the 12 tribes of Israel also from the Old Testament But in this case the tribes were a little more than work assignments. Now again, you you divide people you'd separate them from their actual Personalities you call them a different name you give that you break them up into even tinier mini groups The idea is to keep people as isolated as humanly possible and forgetting all sort of connections to the real world

And that's how you can really control them and really eat that pussy Well, I do remember when the tribe of what was it the tribe of Benjamin? Oh in the Bible There was a whole chapter where they were on clean the shit or duty and and that was that was of course in Deuteronomy And that was sad Yeah, it's exactly how it was one tribe would be maintenance another would be made up of cooks another was in charge of livestock and Still others would quote-unquote procure food from neighboring towns like strong and Mingus That was the raccoon group. That's what they called themselves. Is the mayor of a town like Mingus Is it just a giant just a man baby with the watermelon hat on like literally like a carved out old watermelon

You're like today. We're making lollipops money Finally a mayor who speaks for the people if lollipops became money, I would move to Mingus in a heartbeat However, none of these tribes were actually allowed to partake in anything that was procured either legally or illegally All of the good stuff went to the people at the top while the rank and file were left with either rotten food or Animal feed thrown out by neighboring ranches. Let me tell you that animal feed shit is gross I know you you made a point to Allude to the fact that you've eaten it before so now I must Request have you eaten animal feed?

Yes, okay He literally lives in a world of Brian. Oh, he does is he'll eat whatever scraps are out. It's curiosity It is it's animal feed and plus it just sometimes when you're you know throwing it out for the cattle Sometimes the dust will get in your mouth and you get a pretty good idea for what it tastes like. Why are you cackling? time are you screaming like And like I said like when you're kid, you know that the slang term for some of the cattle pellets that you give them It's cake is the slang term. Yeah, so when your kid is like, oh, it's called cake. Let's see if it tastes like cake It don't taste like cake. Yeah, because why would they give cows food that tastes like cake doesn't make any sense

It's not their birthday if I was a farmer All my cows would be eaten cupcakes by Melissa all day long. Oh, what kind of beef would that make? Oh, that would be good. Anyway, we've been we've got to get back to the children of God here I can't think about cake beef. Oh God, that's good Now at the Texas Soul Clinic as it would be for much of his rule David Berg held an Authoritarian rule over his disciples with all decisions happening from the top down Which was a privilege of being the end times prophet. He was the guy at the top

He was the guy at the end of the world, you know Like this guy knew what he was talking about and since God had told Moses David about the end of the world in all Manor of other things it wasn't so much of a stretch to think that God would also give David Berg instructions on the cult members Day-to-day lives now think about this this Texas Soul Clinic was a guy I forget I believe it was Fred Jordan who was like an old sort of like teacher of David Berg They were back in the day when he was more evangelical and like wearing suits and shit They knew each other and they got no disagreement where Fred Jordan was like, I don't want to work with you anymore You're obviously a pervert and he was like none on they left when he shows back up

He shows up with this fucking busload of hippies that are all like the way they said that their smiles were like both either Like empty but also ironic like they were like ha ha ha ha like act on like it was all normal Obviously was not they're living in a world of shit the way they described it is that the the their campouts We're just covered in trash where they would just pile all of the food and and stuff that they stole from other neighborhoods Into a big pyramid in the center and then they would go and pick shit out of it There's only so long you can handle that without not believing the guy that is telling you to do that is Jesus Christ Yeah, there's no way that that bizarre trash heap Christmas tree that you made out of food is an indication that that person you're Following is the second coming of Jesus himself. It's like Fraggle Rock. Yes

It does sound kind of fun. I have to admit like go into a huge Christmas tree of rotten food and just grab it whatever you want It sounds like Neverland Ranch or like Neverland the real Neverland, but it's actually more like Neverland Ranch Yes, that's all the kid fucking right, right, right? So here's how a day and the average member of the children of God would go mornings were Bible study after which each member was given God's orders for the day as was befit their tribe Every member was also assigned a buddy who stood at their side at all Times including on trips to the bathroom and speaking of the bathroom the children of God had a strict two sheets rule Hmm meaning nobody could use more than two sheets of toilet paper on each trip. I would never I wouldn't last a second Yeah, I used to I did two hearty

Handfuls. Yes. I just liked it I mean, I'll just take two rolls and go into the bathroom with that and come out with two empty rolls But you know that if you actually read you've ever spent time like we've you ever forgot your phone for some reason and you're in a bathroom And you've just read the label of the toilet paper roll, right? It says the two sheets is supposed to be the normal quote-unquote serving of toilet paper Well, I don't know for who for I don't know Flacks as I could jam into my system like sometimes I'll poop a bunch of rocks I can put a bunch of just like little like diamonds like I'm a little fucking like I'm run by the Rothschilds like my guts are

But I still need more than two sheets most people do this also It's a survivor type setting Jeff probes should be there breaking up the camps. So that's what's going on divide and conquer Yeah divide and conquer and while those people were in the bathroom They more often than not use the time for Bible studies each member had to memorize what the cult called the set card Which was a list of 300 Bible verses in addition to memorizing ten chapters of the Bible and loudspeakers ever a favorite of cult leaders Would constantly blare someone reading passages from the Bible Jim Jones use this exact same tactic Where you just had an option Riccio use the exact tactic to if you have a compound in which a cult is hanging out day to day There's gonna be loudspeakers without a doubt and when people were reading their passages aloud during Bible study

They would also usually listen to a tape saying the exact same words With that meant pretty much nobody had any time to think nobody had any down time Which is another time-honored tactic of cult compounds. That's how you keep everybody on the same track You know, so you keep everybody in the vibe because the part about it's keeping a vibe going It's keep the idea is also you're trying to build up the tempo. We're headed towards the end of the world All of this is like it's present. It's happening right now And also what we're gonna talk about too is that this was a very pure tanical society at this time There was no sex yet. It was just work and Bible passages

So is it possible that well when one of the members of the cult children of God were going and speaking into the loudspeaker They just started to sing and then that person became Katy Perry. Is that possible? There were actually a couple of people that grew a couple of celebrities that grew up in the children of God River Phoenix and Joaquin Phoenix grew up in the children of God Rose McGowan grew up in the children of God That's pretty much it but that's you know, that's some heavy hitters right some of my favorite actors Yeah, yeah, wonderful God Rose McGowan. She made my pubic hair grow scream. I can't even get into it So everything at the children of God compounds were communal down to the shoes with nobody having any possession save one a Bible each person was allowed to have their own Bible and that was it which is an isolation technique in and of itself

Possession of this David Bergen straight up say be like look you could do a Bible is perfect for anything You could scare a fox away with it You could rip out the papers and eat it and let's fiber help you towards your two-sheet rule Am I right young marjorie with your puddles of pudding you make every morning? I've seen it Cleanest button town but out of page left in the Bible, huh? See really no matter what people say possessions are important to humans It's just the way that we're built and stripping possessions down to just one thing Makes that possession the de facto most important object in that person's life

If you ever watch lock up raw on MSNBC, you'll notice prisoners there They have a finite amount of objects usually like 20 and those are life So you're like how did someone get stabbed for stealing somebody's you know, rosary or whatever it might be? It's because that thing is the most important thing ever exactly So when the children appeared in public, they would often be seen wearing red sack cloth sack cloth is a material That's usually made from black goat hair and is extremely uncomfortable They'd also smear ash on their face completing the ash and sack cloth Old Testament double whammy Which signaled mourning and or repentance and it just made them look creepy as fuck it just made them

Yeah, they look super metal. Yeah, like they showed up like whaling covered in sack cloth and and ash and they and they were all just That must have been awesome. I would have showed up. I saw that I've been like Like no sir, this is supposed to be bad I don't think you would fit in very well, you might be more of a hairy Krishna type So members justified all of these practices and behaviors by saying that all of it put together Was their preparation for Armageddon, which is of course exactly what David Berg told them They needed to believe in to be a part of the children of God like a lot of it calls the whole thing centers around Armageddon And David Berg's control centers around Armageddon because Armageddon is fear and fear equals control

So somehow we convinced them that God was only picking up people who looked like extras from Lord of the Rings On Armageddon on the day of judgment and they dressed like a bunch of idiots What I found really interesting when we were reading this the book that we've been reading right now It's called which is called Jesus Jesus Freaks and a part of it equates the idea of the original Apocalypse fantasy that was written into the first like Old Testament version of the Bible And the whole point was to make the Jewish slaves feel better about the fact that the world was gonna end soon Don't worry You don't need to fight the the powers that be because you'll be out of here soon

Mm-hmm and really for a lot of people the whole revelation thing the whole end of the world thing the 144,000 A lot of that stuff is a 20th century invention Most of that stuff didn't like people didn't take that shit seriously for a very long time Until there was a book. I think I can't remember what it's called. It's called like the end of all things or something like that It was written by one of those evangelical assholes became extremely popular It was one of the best-selling books of the decade and that's really when that stuff when that really like apocalyptic beliefs And when people realized that those apocalyptic beliefs could be used to their advantage That's when that really started is in the middle part of the 20th century

Yeah, the Dr. James Dobson crowd and my mother was a huge believer in Armageddon, which was a wonderful Relief for me because I didn't have to go to school often because I would be like I'm tired She'd like the world could end on Tuesday. Why go to school on Monday? Yeah, and is your mom's favorite song that Armageddon song by Aerosmith we had an entire sermon on Aerosmith because There's that lyric Steven Tyler talks about not seeing God's way. What's the name of that one song that he did? Uh, I can't ragdoll not ragdoll bag in the saddle He was on the Jesus hit list they did not like it. Oh, wow Yeah, I mean well it today

I mean speaking of what Henry said about all that stuff being put in there to make the Jews feel better about their lot in life Nobody whose life is going great believes in Armageddon, right? Well, I mean that is that that is just an absolute fact. There is nobody there's no millionaire that believes in Armageddon There's nobody in a happy marriage that believes in Armageddon I mean these are people that want the world to end, but they don't want to end it on them by themselves They want God to do it for them, right? But then it takes it out of their hands Yeah, it takes it out the responsibility of having to deal with your life. It takes out of your hands now It's like oh, I have this bigger thing. I have to worry about I have to worry about getting my shit together

I don't have to worry about like reconnecting with my family or having friends or having a career because the world's gonna be Over soon. Yeah, exactly, which is why you never have to go to school, Ben I love that If I was if I had one really really strong arm and one really weak arm I'd cover my strong arm and then I'd release the cover and I'd say it's Armageddon What I don't know, but if I was an arm wrestler, that's what my nickname would be Armageddon. I think you're talking about just masturbation or something. No, not masturbation. What is wrong with you? You always go the the blue route. I'm talking about a physical

Sports here. I am sorry, but I am mentioned the copyright on Armageddon in the arm the arm wrestling world Has to have been taken away. If it hasn't I'm taking it About these cult members about their general attitude One father who lost a child to the cult he described the members as as having a quote Depressing sameness and that was by design by David Berg But you know despite all of this strict behavior or possibly because of it The children of God actually managed to snag a semi-famous rock musician Jeremy Spencer one of the original guitarists for Fleetwood Mac who played on their first four albums left the band in

1971 for the children of God and remains a member in good standing to this day And he was the only member of Fleetwood Mac to not have sex with Stevie next true and that's amazing That is amazing, but he is the first one to try cocaine up his asshole You definitely need more than two plush two sheets if you do that But this is what's interesting here is that the music was a lot of how they got people involved in the cult Aaron Berg David Berg's father son also did the same shit where he would play they would go and meet meet hippies by him playing guitar And being like so you want to learn to rock like Jesus Christ? And if but he had this big poofy hair that they called like a halo, but it sounds like a Jew fro

Which is kind of a halo in a way. He kind of looked like a skinny version of the lead singer MC 5 Okay Yeah, music is huge in these situations. Oh, yeah, it's gigantic, you know, I mean and it's kind of the same thing again Like oh, I'm Shinrikyo. They used anime They used the types of thing they always use the types of media that attracts the types of people that they want the Omson Riccio they used anime and manga to attract pretty much nerds, you know people that were kind of social outcast and The children of God they used music

They used like popular types of music to bring their trying to get hippies hippie bait, right? Yeah, that's total hippie bait Now as I said before every bit of this came from David Burke himself Who ruled the children of God with a terrible temper usually blasted out of his mind on wine He was a mean mean drunk and he was always drunk In fact, most of the sermons he gave at the Texas Soul Clinic just drunk ramblings You just get wasted sit down in front of a bunch of people and just ramble for a couple hours Yeah, because it's it's because it's true because we say right here There's two different kinds of sermons for at the TSE one for the rank and file for all of the plebes and then one for this the

Central members like his core group that were around David Burke the only people that would hang out hang out with him on a day-to-day basis and basically they would say his his Weird sermons or is that he would you go have dinner with him and he'd have already had like three or four bottles of wine And he would just do these weird like good kind of top of his head Yeah, stream of consciousness. Yeah, just making shut up. Yeah, basically. He just did what James Gandolfini did on his final night Just got trashed off a wine. I love James Gandolfini great actor. Oh, but now that you mentioned Christian music I can't stop thinking of DC talk and Carmen and actually I do want to say, you know We mentioned the books Jesus Freak earlier. Yeah

There are two books named Jesus Freak one the awesome one about the children of God and one super lame one That's written by DC talk. I'm sure it is DC I had to listen to DC talk on a regular basis. That's why I don't like music today Yeah, and those sermons that David Burke would give the rank and file ones those would be Really anti not necessarily anti-sex, but very restrictive of sex He would tell them that sex was something to be saved for marriage Lower members they weren't even allowed to hold each other's hands They couldn't even kiss before marriage, but if you were in the inner circle

Especially if you were David Burke's children Sex was what the children of God was all about. Why did he say it was gonna be spunky and disgusting at the start of the show? Oh, here's why Can you imagine if Santa was horny all the time? Part of the thing is that when Santa came down to give you presents is that he had his penis was all hard And then he just was like you'd have to come down and be like Santa. I'm sorry like if kids that were awake They said that's why you had to be asleep on Christmas Eve because if not Santa would go down on you kind of a horny Krampus story

David Burke Wow See the Berg family they had always been Extremely fucked up, but now that David had reached the status of end-time profit He could get away with pretty much Whatever he wanted for this thing about this is that when he was just wearing a suit just doing regular preacher bits He was doing the rub downs on his daughter to get her go to sleep at night. Yeah, he was yeah He was masturbating his daughter from the age of like nine Yeah, this is the man who had sexual fantasies about his mother on a regular basis and all that. Yeah, absolutely

Yeah, and he'd also been having you know incestuous relationships with one of his kids by this point But when children of God came around and when he became the end-times profit This is pretty much when you see when a person does something like that when you have such a disgusting incestuous Pedophile, this is what happens when that person gets to do Whatever they want when they get the license to take all of their fantasies and actually realize them Yeah, but that's when Michael Jackson made thriller, you know, like he just he just created a cult That went no side to the same coin. It's like, what do you do? It's like yes fantastic Fantastic dance album, and you're probably the best it's ever been kick a pop

Just leave Macaulay Culkin alone. Now. He's made a pizza band. He made a band about pizza The pizza underground it was all velvet underground songs, but he replaced a lot of the words with pizza Macaulay Culkin did that Yeah, it was great. He's still my favorite. I love him everything. He's ever done He was molested into that band. He was not Pizza no, there's nothing wrong with pizza. He's just all dirty now. Thanks to hashtag pizza gate. Yeah Well, well, we might tell you whatever so here is an example of Some of the fucked up things that happened between David Burke and his family one night Berg was holing up in a hotel in Dallas where he was hiding from embarrassment

After getting deported from Israel, which is a part of what sparked the extreme Antisemitism that he would display later on in life and real quick We were gonna find out a lot is that they bounced around Internationally all over the place trying to find a play trying to find a new home for children of God Also, they were being persecuted everywhere So he they went to Israel thinking oh, we're gonna show up and they're gonna love us and literally Israel's like no Get the fuck out of here, and they were like you fuck here like stop rubbing your daughter for a second I need you to fill out this paperwork. Yeah

I do have a question about money. How do they finance these trips every person who? Every person who joined the children of God signed over everything they owned okay, so they just pulled it all together They just an expensive trip. Yeah, they pulled it all together, and there were also business people around You know anytime they set up a new colony There were people with money that were sympathetic to their cause and would donate to that Oh, I see and but the majority of their money we'll talk about how they came upon that on the next episode with a little Technique called flirty fishing. Oh, but we'll get into that later So while they were in this hotel room Berg held a meeting with his daughter Debra and her husband his son

Hosea and his wife and Berg's son Aaron and his wife Shula who had just recently married into the family She was brand new with all this so these are three children of his and their spouses Yeah, exactly and after the meeting was adjourned Berg Strip naked took out a bottle of wine and said that it was time for a quote Sharing party. I hope everybody enjoyed the meeting I hope we wrote all the notes down as we got the composition books out and did I see everyone close them? That's wonderful to see I love you I still want to remember to how good you kids did in school. I'm so happy with how classes went today now everybody

It's time to see daddy's penis Absolutely disgusting. Yes sharing parties. They were they were family orgies Although in the beginning there was no swapping involved It was pretty much just a naked father who looked like Santa Claus Walking around a hotel room watching his grown children fuck their spouses on mattresses on the floor For some look what I'm doing Aaron. I'm jumping in between your legs. It's like a military exercise I'm using it to challenge my dexterity Oh, I like how you're fucking your wife. It's how I would fuck her if my penis worked

Which is also very interesting. We're gonna found out. He's also completely impotent. He can't get an erection But in his second half of like during this whole time period So he's just watching his kids fuck each other Marcus is skeptical about his lack of vulnerability Yeah, no, he could get hard. Well, he talked about when we talk about when he starts really getting into it with his granddaughter He couldn't get it up. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, he can get out of this granddaughter But everybody else he was fucking all the time. Oh my god As we'll find out in the next episode his son was so courted is saying dad was a really sexy guy I really do envision like after the Supreme Court makes a really big ruling they do the exact same thing

This all this family orgy shit the bizarre views of family didn't stop there See Shula she had been pregnant with another man's child when she met and married Berg's son Aaron and after she became pregnant again Berg sent Shula and Aaron to Canada and gave her illegitimate son away To another member named Susan and the practices of splitting up families and familial orgies will become common practice for the children of God and this here is where a lot of Berg's insanity and evil nature lies See every despicable practice that the family ended up spreading wide Berg Tested it on his own immediate family first with Elron Hubbard did the same thing Elron Hubbard had an inner circle where he would test out all of his ideas on the inner circle first

And before it goes to the rest of the Scientologists, so this would be a good time to be on the outer circle Yeah, I mean this is not the best time to be close to the leader Oh, no, this is a terrible time to be close to the leader It's never good to be close to the leader never be close to the leader because you're being used as a pawn The whole point is to see how far he can go with you and then see if you're just testing ground So it's like his failures are even worse than his successes. No, you want to be close to the leader You get the good food you get the good drink. I mean other than these orgies apparently I mean, there were really there were some people in the children of God cult that had been a part of it for decades

That never had any real idea that any of this shit was going on I mean, there were some news stories that were coming out here and there, but they weren't really affected by it They had heard about it, but they were also being told the whole time that it was just lies So not everybody that was a part of the children of God cult was involved in the gigantic pile-up fuck orgy Hmm Berg as far as the fuck orgy went he would even have sex with his son's wives Using it as a game to play him against each other Promoting one son for letting Berg have sex with his wife then demoting another Until Berg wanted to fuck that son's wife again later on, which not surprisingly ended very badly. Yeah, I want to vomit

You are hard I guess you're allowed to be because this is America and I can't tell you to not be hard But don't be hard. I mean, it's just the idea of your dad with your with your wife Yeah, I mean that is and not only your dad with your wife But your dad with your like brother's wife and like your brother feeling good that he's getting promoted Because your dad fucked your brother's wife and you feeling bad because of that Well, my older brother so my dad would have to go deep sea diving and whatever they were getting into Could imagine your father having sex with your brother's husband Just like really going away at him and looking out over at you to smile on his face the thumbs up

You can't you can't replicate that with anything else. Oh, what's that in the corner of the studio? It's a loaded gun. I think I'm gonna grab it and shoot my brains out and read what is wrong with you Good God, let's see that all this sexual promiscuity It wouldn't really be a part of the official church doctrine for a while to come at this point Publicly Berg was just dipping his toe into polygamy And by about how long the nail was on that toe Yeah, the dipping the toe in analogy is extra disgusting given the context Man, I put my toe in you

It's for God come on. Let me try it. It's kind of like it's kind of fun It's like your penis is like my toe is a little pencil and your butthole is a little pencil holder So you just you just want to put the toe in All right So by 1970 Berg had shipped off his first wife whom he referred to as the old wine Erie classic, which is actually that's the better wine. You want an old one Yeah, you do want an old one and he kept Karen Zerbe by a side Karen Zerbe who remember from the first episode Was his new wife. He referred to her as the new wine

And he also referred to them as old church and new church. I would have called her mad dog 2020 it's really like David Berg sort of reminds me of a manager. I had at Borders in Tallahassee who was this big fat guy that was like rumored to be a Swinger he wore nothing but pewter rings and he thought he was like the bottom He just thought he was like the the most romantic Slick dude with women and the way he talked about it because also the way he talked about chula The way he wrote in his journal about chula was like I worked in our kishula behind the barn I think she's into me and then like calling your ex girl your

Your your older wife the old wine You need the old wine in order to make the new wine And also you need new wine to get some life until the old wine because sometimes that old wine acts like a real bitch Oh my god Well, I wish they would have stomped his balls like they were grapes and you had a peed a little wine himself This guy's a pervert. Oh, he's the worst. See all this old wine new wine shit It was announced to the entire congregation in the first of the infamous

Mowletters and the mowletters were a series of rambling newsletters that berg wrote himself Written with paragraphs numbered like passages from the bible to give people that little bit of subtle familiarity And definitely when you have mowletters you certainly have mow problems You did that joke. Thank you. You felt comfortable doing that I'm sitting on a dog bed I was about to say it seemed like you were sitting on that mowletters joke for like a couple weeks now A couple weeks. Wow Pulled it out of his pocket. Look at that

Sitting on this dog bed having a good time. I got a couple blankets to prop me up. That's good Mow problems indeed Now the style of writing in these mowletters. It was that goofy quote, you know that far out hippy style That uses dumb words like heavy all the time and just had a shitload of exclamation points everywhere For example, this is uh berg's first mowletter. This is a little excerpt from berg's first mowletter If you'll even take a look at bible history You will make the shocking discovery that most of god's greats had oodles of wives women mistresses Harlots and what have you?

Yeah, there's a big exclamation point on the end of that And what have you? oodles of wives you say And what have you? I don't like to say the word oodles because it sounds like ooh like gross So there's nothing gross about a wife. I would call them more like poodles because I think poodles are adorable And I wish I could stick my toe in one oodles of wives Now like all good cult leaders who are masters of nudging people along

Polygamy was just the first step on the road to the children of god becoming a full-blown Fuck cult and naturally parents who lost their kids to this lifestyle didn't take kindly to it. No way Shocking they formed a group called free cog or free our children from the children of god And this thanks nancy great great name nancy I feel very strong about the name It needs to sound like a thing that people could just kind of say and free cog is a word that people can say that is a word People can say So this is when ted patrick aka

Black lightning comes into the picture Ted was at the time making a name for himself Deprogramming cult members on behalf of their parents and ted got the name black lightning one Because he was black. Yeah, and very appropriate And two because the first step of his deprogramming program Was to kidnap members off the street by bundling them into a car and whisking them away to an undisclosed location And this was vaguely illegal. It was extremely illegal It was the textbook unlawful kidnapping because these were adults right and this was the netflix documentary

Reference on the last show. Yeah deprogram. It's pretty solid now Ted patrick's theory was that you had to start the whole thing the whole deprogramming process With a shock to throw the members off balance a physical Shock saying that the kidnapping part of it was essential to the whole process because the whole thing has to be Extremely traumatic. The first thing to do is I show up as I show up as a tony the tiger, right? I'm dressing up for the toky the tiger They see me and they're laughing at stuff because I'm going they were great And I take a bag right now put a bag over their head, right?

And then with the first thing I do is I bonk them back and forth with a couple of paddles So they get really confused then I spin them around three or four times. Then I dump in a bunch of cream corn Using a jockey into crane. I got really got a shock. I'm out of it Also, I got barrels of this cream corn that I got to let go of So you so you say you witnessed the kidnapping. Yeah, it looked like a like a furby did it Like a what do they call furries a furry did it I think and then you made them into human cereal Well, of course, I mean Ted Patrick ended up going to jail for kidnapping, uh, eventually saving lives

And you know, sometimes, uh, he fucked up the kids way worse than if the parents would have just left him alone But you know what his heart was in the right place. He was he's a total character. Yeah It does kind of feel like what's going on right now too and just in in the world in general Where it's like our heroes are almost worse than the villains where they're almost just as bad They're being bad at your job of being a hero is just worse than being a shithead It ain't right. No, it ain't a parents who wanted to get their children away from the children of god Were referred to in the cult as 10 36ers after the bible verse matthew 10 36 Which reads and a man's foes shall be they of his own household

Now this verse is taylor made for a cult that wants to isolate its members from their friends and family And it was a favorite of children of god members to quote to ted patrick while he was trying to Deprogram them the bible sounds like it was written by people wearing no pants But they were wearing shoes and occasionally a shirt. They were a bunch of homeless Men that were sexually obsessed with the coolest guy in a group the coolest homeless man in the world They got obsessed with him. I'm gonna say sexually. Yeah, because they were always washing and sucking his feet getting him food That's who wrote the bible, but that is the one of the myths about jesus. He was actually fairly wealthy for the time

Really? Yes. No, like people are like, oh, we wore sandals. No one else was wearing sandals. Yeah, I guess everyone else was barefoot And he didn't exist That's a that's another very possible A truth there. Yeah, but what david burg also used was the idea of we always talk about this with with cults Is that you use the idea of we're being persecuted to show look? We're right the powers that be want to shut us down because we're too close to the truth Yeah, and he called everybody outside of the children of god anybody who tried to come in To take people away or to tell them what they were doing was wrong. They were called systemites

I kind of like that sounds like it's not a hellraiser That's pretty assit. I want to be a systemite But by the time black lightning showed up burg had already been releasing mo letters for years And was starting to turn them sexual in the most subtle of ways There was one called squeeze Don't jerk Which was a reference to trigger discipline while using a gun rather than masturbation You're supposed to squeeze the trigger not pull the trigger and he wrote

Squeeze don't jerk or you may miss the mark and that's a sin And that's a sin Are you talking about guns or are you talking about me grabbing your dick? That's funny. What am I doing right now? You're holding your you want me to grab it? Yeah 1971 I'm not subtle. No, not at all actually for being subtle if subtle was a crime I'm innocent Yeah, no in 1971 burg wrote a mo letter called

I got a split in which he explained that it was necessary for him and zerby to leave the country to spread the word of god Now this right here what henry's about to read is an example Of what burg wrote in I got a split as to why it didn't really matter where he was comparing himself to the presence of jesus and this is some Insane cult double-speak bullshit. Hey there party people. Hey there has everybody feeling how's the mood of the room? Now remember he's right here with me now in me But he's just as much right there with you in you there right now At the same moment in the same power just as intimately and personally as he is here with me And me you can enjoy him just as much as I can and I can thrill to his presence

Just as much as you can and we can all enjoy him together anywhere everywhere anytime all the time In all his power and fullness Just as much for you as for me and just as much for them as for us and just as precious and sweet and intimate As for any by his spirit through his words for the words that I speak unto you Hey our spirit and they are life. Can you dig it? Can you dig it? Jesus burg I just have one question. Can we go to three ply? I have just had a bad problem lately I need to trip. I need to triple it up. What am I doing right now? You're holding your you're holding your cock. Yeah

Um, you know, it's also interesting with another quote that david burg used to use all the time To the pure everything is pure. Yeah, which pretty much meant that they could do I mean do whatever they want It's the it's the christian way of saying like to he actually david burg managed to find in the bible multiple passages which pretty much translate to do as thou wilt as the whole of the law The bible is a a horoscope of a pin of ideas. You can do whatever you want with the bible You can make it seem like it's worth they were filling out pages They were just been like, oh man, I wonder what's how this is gonna end. They were just clickety-clock and keeping themselves busy That's it. So from that moment forward after he wrote I gotta split

burg carefully chose which members of the cult he interacted with And if that member wasn't a part of the inner circle if it was just a rank and file It was almost guaranteed that if burg brought him in he was just looking for a new fuck doll Nice burg would only communicate to the lower level members from that point forward through his mo letters Which he declared in 1972 to be Quote the very voice of god himself. It sounds like this and it is a beautiful voice It is a beautiful voice and mo mo letters mo problems. Thank you I'd say

Thank you. I'm copywriting that Copywriting that I'm yep. I'm copywriting that I can I will I'm gonna do that. I'm putting on shirts. It's my brand It's my new thing. I'm ending everything from now on. That's a good idea Yeah, and he said that these mo letters that they were on the level of the bible And at the end of the day really the children of god They're kind of like a mixture of the manson cult and the Mormons See both the children of god and the Mormons encouraged polygamy and both attached writers to existing biblical materials To make christianity their own thing while still being familiar

But burg took it way further than the Mormons and started Encouraging wife swapping and orgies and mo letters such as revolutionary sex revolutionary lovemaking Love light and the goddesses. Huh? They all sound like reality television shows now As a matter of fact, there is a show called wife swap and I'm pretty sure burg is the executive producer So burg wrote that masturbation in public Should be allowed saying quote in the western culture. It has been made a taboo This has made public nudity or public sexual activity not only considered sinful But they've also passed laws to make it even illegal when as far as god's laws are concerned

These things are not unlawful at all I remember that when jesus spoke on the mountain about publicly jerking it You know, you could jerk off right anytime. Why are we jerking off guys guys? Hey guys, you jerk off Hey ball. Thomas guys jerk each other off. Huh? This is fun having fun Sort of the deleted scenes of the last supper was when they all jerked off one by one Yeah, the 12 disciples all played oaky cookie. That's right. Oh, yeah, why is the bread so good tonight? They played oaky challah like 97 times. You know that they did that all the time That's how they fucking well. They were just wandering around the desert. Not so unleavened anymore

So burg talking about his own first experience with masturbation wrote I will never forget that I was first taught how to successfully Masturbate to a complete orgasm by an older boy who whispered it in my ear while sitting in the third church pew from the front During one of my father's sunday morning sermons I gladly accepted his invitation to go home with him for sunday dinner to learn more And he was most happy to teach me along with some of the rest of our friends His simple little lesson was the soul of brevity You just jiggle it up and down until it feels so good. It hurts. Yes

Yes, please. Yes queen. Like give it to me. Sounds like you can't flush the toilet Jiggle the hand a little bit. Yeah, you should jiggle it up and down till it feels so good. It hurts And that's also my comedy. That's my comedy philosophy. That's it. So he was molested That's his story, right? Yeah, I mean by an older boy. Yeah, yeah, he flipped it around He flipped it around to the hottest thing he could think of. Yeah, I guess so. That's that's true Yeah, just remember that in the minds of burg and his followers this shit was on par with jesus's sermon on the mount I remember that when jesus was like and I looked at my mother mary and I got rock hard and I fucked my father Yeah, because that burg would say it's like, you know, the bible was written a long time ago

It's time for the new stuff and this is the new stuff that jesus wants you to know This is the new stuff that god wants you to know He's telling me specifically because remember he's moses. So he's the conduit between god and the people of earth And what didn't moses have playboy and think about it now But this is also when he uses all that to kind of jump into pedophilia with two fees He's just nudging into it. Nudge it into it. He's jumpy. He's a lemur going off the the edge. What are you talking about? Nudging into it He's dancing like nobody's watching the dancing was molesting the various members of his family. I think he's dancing like his family is watching He's not nudging

He's not even close to pretending like he doesn't want to have sex with all the kids But to the cult members like they are taking these things a little bit at a time Is that he's just kind of suggesting it like he's just kind of throwing it out there Just kind of seeing what sticks to the wall and getting people used to this stuff Trumpian like this this little bit right here is bear is buried in paragraph 54 of revolutionary sex. Yeah Good if early marriage is wrong, then why did god make girls able to conceive and bear children at such an early age? If it is wrong for them to marry at such an age in most western cultures It is even illegal

Sounds like a son have been laden the so-called I'll quote child marriages are usually forbidden by law in the west Whereas they are quite common in the east and why not? God has made boys and girls Desirous of and able to have intercourse and bear children at those ages So I say pop the top and you know what they say once you pop that top the fern don't stop Bring Pringles into this do not bring one of my favorite snacks into your disgusting tale If I were to name Pringles, I would call them dingles because dingle is a funny name for my penis

All right, leave Pringles alone and also doesn't his logic fall apart when he brings up the boys Mr. Kessel, what am I doing right now? You're holding your cock Okay Yeah, he doesn't come right out and advocate pedophilian incest just yet, but he is just yet I don't know by the way if you can't you know figure out the foreshadowing eventually he does Yeah, I think they figured it out Marcus But right now he's planning the seeds for acceptance The only sexual activities that he preaches against are pulling out and male homosexuality saying about the latter

To say the least sodomy is insanity and sanitary Infectious disgusting degrading dirty perverted and hazardous to the health of both body and mind Uh, Jesus burg you fucked your son's wife Yep Oh, yeah, took her to town. I took her to town. I took her to the library. I got her a library card I took her to the dump. I took her back from the town and I mean I had sex with her Huh, yeah, and of course with burg lesbianism totally cool totally totally totally fucking sweet, bro This is every skid row fan from the 1980s

This remember that when you had to win the argument against homosexual or for homosexuality not being a crime He'd be like, do you like two chicks making out? He'd be like, yeah two dudes no This is what he wrote about lesbianism Personally, I don't see that lesbianism is any different from any other form of masturbation or sexual massage Which the bible also seems to ignore This these they're written by a human penis This is just if balls can write this is what balls create

I just can't imagine anything anything illegal or immoral about just two Just bleached blonde girls with long fingernails to scissor each other like a screaming ex I want to see it every day So maybe we could go to the carnival break the right balloons and we can get those We can get a picture of the barbie twins. Would you like to do that? Yeah? Yeah, also, you know what really creeps me out is when I'm having sex with my son's wife and he says good job daddy It's like leave me alone. I'm trying to fuck your wife Yeah, that is hard for you little kisses on the cheek. I can't stand hugging my son

But when I am just up to the pubic hair in my daughter I just I like that's we're not that's where I'm at peace. That's my me time. You're disgusting. You're a horrible person Now as the years went by the mo letters ranged from sexual instruction to completely bizarre beliefs to the seemingly mundane with one of the mo letters just Only being about all the things that you need to know when you buy a boat This is like when you go to see bob dillon now that's all he talks about you go to see neil young now It's just about cars. He made a whole album about cars He's out of touch. What I'm saying is he's out of touch with the cork constituents here

He is very out of touch. I would say that yeah, he can't go see sig field and roy But he can have sex with his granddaughter. I see maybe one of those tigers, too Yeah, now eventually these mo letters they became illustrated They used the underground comic book style that was popular in the 70s And this is very interesting because it is it completely borrows from the arc rum Style of drawing like comics with an x and they were highly sexualized It was and also very similar to our crumb's lifestyle as well. David burg and our crumb could be compared Very easily because our crumb is also sexually obsessed. You know that but our crumb's just sexually obsessed with big girls

He's nowhere near that monster that david burg is no our crumb isn't a monster. He's just a weirdo. I'm just saying he's horny Yeah, oh, he's super horny. Yeah, if you want to think about like what who would our crumb be if you come back Uh, you know, or I don't even know if he's dead But if the perfect spirit animal for our crumb if you remember that far side picture where the woman she's very heavy set She's hope she's posting up the lost chihuahua and the chihuahua's in her butt cheeks. That's our crumb Our crumb wants to be that chihuahua so bad. I can see how it's sexy. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, totally riding a big woman around I do it. Yeah, I do it. I would have a great time. I'd fucking buy a special cowboy hat for it I'd have a great time with it

Yeah, and like Henry said these illustrated mo letters. This is when the shit gets extremely dirty and Extremely graphic. This is an excerpt from one comic called Dad's sex talk. Okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna put it this way if you ever I'm gonna put the the main preface this you remember a friend That's like let's say you have like a crush on a girl or like a crush on a boy and you have a friend That's like maybe gonna hook up with that person a really good thing to do is be like, hey You should check this out and give them a copy of dad's sex talk the one comic and they will never have sex with anything Ever again. Yeah

The sex talk from a father to a son should be wear a condom and then the son looks at his father says Okay, and then the conversation's done. Yeah. Well, this is a little different. Yeah Yeah, and also the reason why it's called dad's sex talk is because dad was one of his names He was most he was david moses david mo Uh, and uh, a lot of people called just called him dad. It's so gross. Yes. Here's what it is The lord put pubic hair between a girl's legs for a good reason It's a cushion to absorb friction. He put a nice shock absorber right on your bumper Now some girls let that beard grow so long that it's almost impossible to find an opening in the undergrowth

I like to see it nice and neat and well trimmed not shaped but trimmed with a pair of scissors Leave enough so that it's still a good shock absorber, especially if you do a lot of you know what? fucking Fucking I'll just say it out loud. Have I been so again put me in jail for being a subtle artist Put me in jail for it if it's a crime because I am sick and tired of being subtle I think it's time to really just straight up when you're fucking and you're really just grinding grinding grinding against your daughter You need a shock absorber on there because I think I hurt myself now for the protection of the man

Yeah, I undergrowth Did you think that was an appropriate term there? Yeah, I did I wrote it didn't I didn't I missed it you might miss the sweet little lamb Have you had sex with your daughter today? No, no, I don't have a daughter and I wouldn't do that That's why you're so surly you have a nice daughter and then have sex with her So don't agree with anything that you did with your life. What am I doing right now? You're you're holding your cock. Yes Okay Yeah, that's what these things were half the time is that half of them were just instructions to his followers on

How he liked to fuck yeah, how he wanted their bush to look like how we wanted their bush to look like And he'd even talk about his like sexual preferences. He's want he'd wander off into that every once in a while This is another thing he wrote in dad sex talk The reason I could never go much for the man sucking the woman is it's almost impossible for the woman to not have some kind of odor down there no matter how much he washes my nose is so sensitive I can't take it. Yeah, he doesn't like to be in in the undergrowth. I guess it's sort of like stranger things The upside down upside down world, but it's the undergrowth. He is complete filth Yeah, so at what point does he okay at some point?

He still has to be giving sermons about like, you know being good to your fellow neighbor. No, no He jumps off and he starts with it. Yeah, so he just this is And so if you're receiving this letter and you're in the children of god Don't this isn't this kind of a wake-up call that this guy is just a horny old man now There were throughout the 70s There were some purges because people were starting to look at these things and Listen to some of his practices and go like this. It wasn't what we really signed on for No, so David Berg at a couple of points

Did purge a lot of people anybody who said they didn't like the fuck direction that the children of god was going in He purged them. He said you're you're no longer part of it. I am Moses david. I know best. This is the word of god And if you do not believe in this then you are essentially lost and you're no longer welcome here But then I would assume those people because they're so perverted by this Uh ideology they were probably hurt by getting purged. I would assume very much. So People think about you give up your whole life. You give up your whole life You give up all your possessions. You gave up a bunch of your familial connections your your friends

You give up everything to be there You now have a whole community there your kids are there being raised by three different people A lot of times you don't know who the father is of your kids or the father like like where they are So you're trapped in there a little bit Well, that wouldn't be the case for me because we would just be like who's the six foot seven kid Oh, that's my kid. Yeah, I can't I'm sorry. I can't get out of pain child support on that monster But I will say the one good thing is that he did let them go It wasn't like om Shinriki or where they just got shot in the head. Yeah

He he did he did let them go But he gave them the same sort of speech that Scientologists give to people When they want to leave the cult they asked them the most terrifying question Which is are you ready to leave everything that you've ever known? So with these comic book characters after All the sex talk came it started getting even Weirder because he was now able to illustrate characters now He was able to create his own little universe characters like the aborigine Hong Kong gulagong

I will refrain Thank you very good. Henry Zabrowski Now Berg said that gulagong was an australian aboriginal hitchhiking demon who attacked christian missionaries Who were trying to bring jesus to aboriginal people and the name gulagong came to berg during a coughing fit where quote Every cough was a word and every word was shaped like a nipple with all the nerves running up to the nipple How drunk are you right now? It's more like is the world spinning like stop this rock. I need to get off of it You know i'm saying is this like i'm holding on to the floor, but it's like it's hard to get off the floor

You know i'm saying oh god, is this Is this pretty much grander this whole time? Oh fuck rough days Yeah, and he further stated that gulagong's attack was like being overwhelmed by smothering Bress just can't come up with any other analogies though other than about the female. It's just always the female anatomy that's it

And berg and later his wife zerbie wrote about spirit helpers who are either religious or mythical figures or dead Celebrities who would guide christians in spiritual warfare the children of god team of spirit helpers included elvis merlin frosty the snowman george berns Rasputin arthur ash the deceased tennis players And richard nixon

Quite a quite a team of rivals there in a collected group I guess to say the least but also in in the world of chaos magic That's how you would do that as well. You would use those images Yeah, but i build your your rituals. I wouldn't necessarily trust frosty the snowman With protecting me in the other realms Yeah, well karen's erby would actually write letters from these people Saying that these people had contacted her from beyond the grave and had dictated letters to her Uh, and she would write a whole letter that she said that arthur ash had dictated to her in a dream

And would present it as fact and then nixon was like frosty the snowman, right? He doesn't got no hands doesn't have sticks for hands I sure hope they made the whole world a refrigerator by now because that's how i could be president Yeah, he just put together the concert he wanted to see elvis headlining bird's emceeing nixon just happy with the show bird also Wrote about the literal heaven which the children of god believed was a space city called space city That he's a name I'm surprised he didn't describe it as a big tit

It's a dry city that you live on it and and it's like and the the bar and the convenience store and the gross restore Are all on the nipples because that's where i'm living It's also where the apartment building is it's right on the nipple because that's the best part of the breast I feel that the best part of the breast is the is the nipple jesusburg I just need any analogy to describe the city that isn't anatomy related when it comes to women Okay, okay, the city is like a giant It's like a giant maybe like a basketball. Is it a basketball? Maybe no, it's definitely not like a basketball No, definitely not it's more like a

Anything other than Is it like a pussy? Anything else like a covered? What's round? What's round and big? Yeah Thank you. What are we doing right now? You're holding your cock. Yes Well, he said that this space city it existed within a 1500 mile long pyramid Which is kind of like a teddy. Yeah, that was located Inside the hollow moon full circle. Yeah

And when it was pointed out to burg that a 1500 mile long pyramid could not physically fit inside of the moon burg Why are we even bringing this shit up? Why are you even correct him at this point? Like why would you go like um, I'm not sure not exactly an astrophysicist here dad But I've been looking at the moon Seems like it's a bit of a generous assumption. You can get a 1500 mile pyramid in there I don't mean to copy edit you Does seem like a strange part to draw a line in the sand And burg using classic hollow moon logic said about

It's impossible for astronomers to obtain an accurate size of the moon because it's so far away How are we supposed to get rulers there? How are we supposed to get titties there? It's the moon is at least nine million titties wide There's a mathematical formulation that they use to uh, you know, really kind of decipher the size of the moon and those things Are you some kind of astronomer? No, I'm just a normal person. I just I'm really interesting. It's interesting because it seems like only an astronomer would give me some kind of Feedback like that and you know for a fact that I hate astronomers

Unless they can all officially change their names to Asstrom I'll go with that Again, what am I doing right now? You're holding your cock. Yes It's all I think about I know it seems to be the only thing you really hold I never even had this rotten piece of grapefruit. I found it's all you're allowed to eat I'll have it. Thank you. Very good. That's all you can have. I'm appreciative Yeah, no in one of the mowletters written by zerby who took over when burg was too sick and weak to write

She said that when a member of the family is masturbating or having sex They were required to imagine that Jesus was actually having sex with them And this wasn't just women. It was men too Everyone had to imagine Jesus was fucking them And if you're wondering about the whole sodomy thing that we mentioned earlier They got around this by saying that men not only had to fantasize about Jesus fucking him But they also had to fantasize about being women themselves So if you are Jesus and every time you're summoned you have to go help the person who's summoning you

This is a terrible cult for you. He just has to go bone all these dudes Yeah, in zerby she even gave a list of phrases that members could say while Jesus was fucking them A few of which we will now share with you Come I'm here for you. I want you inside of me. Give me your seeds I want to woo you you Jesus and to be wooed by you Fill me I'm getting really horny for you Jesus Oh my okay. My pussy is excited for you Jesus. I'm wild about you. I'm crazy about your penis

About your penis. I mean you this is if someone said that to me in bed. I would be able to get what is happening Jesus, I'm lost in your love with every thrust of your penis. You take me higher and higher This is her writing this right? Uh-huh. Yeah, okay. So this All right. Lastly. I'm desperate for your big hard penis You're fascinating you're fascinating in the front. You're getting fucked from behind my Jesus Christ You're about to orgasm. All right Oh Oh, I'm desperate for your big hard penis. I crave it because I want your seeds. Oh

I want your I don't know Oh, I'm desperate for your big heart penis. I crave it because I want your seeds. Oh That's good This is a fun mo problems And then at the end of it all comes the thank you. Thank you for wanting me for desiring me for exciting me Thank you for wanting to fuck me and becoming one with me and give me your seeds And if you'd like to read the whole list of which there are dozens and dozens of Jesus fuck phrases

Go read the mo letter where they're all listed, which is called cool tips for hot sex Good. These people are something else. So by 1973 the children of God had 2400 full-time members in 140 colonies in 40 different countries. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. They're growing. Oh Yes, this entire time. They've been growing. Think about this. Think about how much fucking is happening They're having babies like crazy. Well, we're going to learn is they're going to manipulate their own numbers by explaining Like, oh, we have so many people that are in the cult, but that's sort of the reason There's a practical side of the sex cult, which is we now are making our own members We're making our own people that are now born into the cult and when they're born into the cult

It's even harder for them to leave Yeah, and they're even and they're even starting to absorb other christian cults like seattle's jesus people army Seattle's jesus people army. Yeah, oh, they're fun. Yeah, that sounds fun Yeah, they would just these other cults would come and check out the children of god thing and they'd say like wow We've been doing this all wrong. Let's just throw in with this lot and then suddenly the cult would game 40 50 60 new members Yeah, I guess you were actually known as a predatory cult. Yeah, like literally david burge would like as a group He would show up to other christian like groups like christian meet-ups and absorb them and be like now you're us You're a part of us now. Yeah, kind of a curbie the love bug gory. Uh, remember not curbie the herbie the love bug

No, curbie the the the the cloud that sucks everything up. You know, that's two weeks in a row that you've name-checked curbie's adventure I love it Yeah, why kind of looks like a little breast. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he kind of does Wow But 1973 also came with a tragedy as Aaron burge one of david's sons suffering from major depression spurred on presumably by his father's fucking of his wife Using it as a family power play jumped off a goddamn mountain in geneva and died Yep, that'll do it. Yep. There's a lot of this. There's a lot of people in a

Moving towards suicide A lot of people and a lot of former members like people who leave the cult Especially some of the younger kids a lot of an instant suicide Well, that's actually very sad, but with this younger boy if you are someone who talks people off of mountains from committing suicide To stop them from committing suicide. I don't even think he would have anything to say to this guy Be like, why do you want to do? He's like, my father fucks my wife. I'm like jump You gotta jump But as far as we know Aaron's death didn't have too much of an effect on his father

Berg was way too into fucking at that point to really care and in 1974 He would introduce the most famous of all children of god recruiting methods Flirty fishing which is where we will begin the conclusion of the children of god next week Whoo, all right. Wow. I just I am so surprised that this entire time they've been making the snowball bigger I thought this would be sort of the decline when they start going off of these sexual deviancies god No, but I guess that was it was working for him. I guess it's too late by then now You already got the crew and everyone's horny. Yeah, they don't just got the crew they're adding to it Yeah, and flirty fishing is when their membership truly explodes. Wow. All right. Yeah, well interesting

We gotta start flirty fishing for the podcast Yeah, yeah, well we'll take in which is doesn't work for us, but we should just get like travis to go do it Yeah, we should get little travis our intern to go out there and really start trying to bring in the dudes Yeah, and his name is titties already. So his name is not titties. You guys just started calling him titties and he doesn't like it It's very sensitive. Yeah. Well, thank you guys so much for listening and let's talk about let's see We have some shows coming up. We have to talk about yeah, we have some shows coming up the next two shows that are on sale is You can go to cave comedy radio comm slash live

And buy tickets for our early show in portland and our early show in boston. Seattle is sold out Portland the late show is sold out, but I think we're going to be releasing some tickets a day of so make sure To follow us on twitter at lp on the left and go and join our facebook group Because we always announce stuff there as soon as those tickets are released We always announce it there any time the tickets are released to new shows We're going to be coming to kansas city, missouri here soon. We're going to be coming to san francisco We're going to be coming to toronto. We're coming to a ton of places, but these shows sell out very fast So if you want first crack adam

Or actually if you want second crack adam You can go and join our facebook and twitter pages if you want first crack adam Go and join our patreon page patreon.com slash last podcast on the left We always let our patreon members know About upcoming shows and when tickets go on sale before we let anybody else know It's just a little bit of a thank you for supporting us even people who only donate one dollar per month Get that advance knowledge. Thank you guys so much for everything that you've done Of course as we've been saying ben has been able to quit fox news and is making all of his money just on last podcast

I'm doing the exact same thing and we could not have done this shit without you guys So thank you so so so much for supporting. Thank you so much Love it. It means a lot to us. It really does very hard and we have some exciting new We can talk about the merch page. Absolutely. Uh, we opened up a brand new store cave comedy radio merch.com Uh, we're right now. We're just selling our logo shirt and our hail shirt. It's a lot easier than our old system It's just an online store and you're gonna be getting them a lot faster than you used to get them Everybody who's still waiting on shirts in our old system Wendy is sending out the rest of them this week

We've got a couple of returns So if you have any problems if you haven't gotten your shirt cave comedy radio gmail.com is Uh, the address to go to but all the rest of you cave comedy radio merch.com is where you can get your t-shirts Today and we're also going to be releasing now that we've got this new deal on this new site We're going to be releasing a fuck ton of new t-shirts. We're going to be bringing the heart satan shirt back into production So anyone who missed out on that one can go buy it at the site here in the next couple of days Uh, and man, and we've already sold a bunch. Thank you guys so much for supporting it It's just another way to support us

Uh, and thank you guys so much for supporting and everything that we do We could not tell you how much we appreciate people really rewarding The hard work that we've put into this show over the last five or six years And what you've done with cave comedy radio in general marcus has been amazing There's so many shows in the top 100 on itunes top 50 on itunes. It's unreal. Yeah, it's real good I'm not being sarcastic Sound like you're being sarcastic. No, I'm not being sarcastic. I'm really proud of marcus. How much work he's done LA has changed you

No, it hasn't Not be me different at all. You are different Uh, yes, so thank you so much for supporting cave comedy radio and many of the shows now We'll start having t-shirts and stuff like that. So there'll be an ambivalence top hat shirt coming out a round table shirt I'm sure page seven shirt. Yep. We're right. We're gonna make a don't come at me with that shirt Don't come at me with that shirt. I'm very excited about Um, possibly a hukuna mafucket. Maybe that would be amazing. I'm gonna be developing some shirts And we'll see what kind of letters we get

That's what I'm excited. That will be excited. Oh and this friday, uh, actually it would be tomorrow Jackie Zabrowski is going to be sitting in for ben on last stream on the left. Yes, uh, which is going to be fun and weird We can't wait for it. That's at 7 30 at adultswim.com And it's every single friday on adultswim.com at 7 30 p.m. Eastern. Absolutely. So that'll be super exciting Thank you so much for supporting all the shows again abling its top half for everything political We've been crushing it. So thank you so much for your support round table a gentleman has been so fun mattress gate It's driving me nuts, but it's not real. It's not a real thing And I cannot wait on round table to pull out the new book that uh, maria gave me. Oh, what is it?

Uh, garfields insults put downs and slams. Yeah, and those are field don't marcus read a couple of slams Okay, okay. Hey, hey ben. Yeah, hey ben. Don't be self-conscious about your height save it for your face You are a cartoon cat. I will not be insulted by you. Hey lurch. Where's the rest of your family? You're fucking dumb bitch cat. You're a fake cat You're more than a tall person. You're also dumb. You piece of shit. You fucking idiot. All right. I don't think garfield said that last one All right, yeah find marcus barks on twitter at marcus barks henry's on twitter at henry loves you and dr Fan tasty on instagram. I'm on instagram at ben kissle one don't know how to use it Don't really look at it, but you can't find me on twitter. I try to really interact with people on that platform

You can find me there at ben kissle instagram You can find all of us all of last podcast left that lp on the left on instagram twitter and all that horseshit Awesome. Um, ill Satan everyone. Hail yourselves and hail guine hail me And i'm a ghost of lations