Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 257: Jack The Ripper Part IV - The Suspects Part I

Episode Date: February 3, 2017

There's so many suspects we gotta split it in two! On this first (fourth) episode, we cover the more unconventional suspects such as the Royal Family, the men of the McNaghton Memo, black magic users, Dr. Thomas Cream, and Alice In Wonderland author Lewis Carrol.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left Canopolis and started What I did like is I saw that picture of Beyonce now that she's pregnant with twins. Oh my goodness. I have the same body as her Yeah, she does look a little Polish right now All right, are we good to go Marcus? We're good to go All right, welcome to the show for what I am Ben Kissel staring at Marcus Park's the other one. He's over in Los Angeles Let me out Are they holding a captive over there?

No, no, no, no, man. They're trapped in here with me my neighbor I think has been having some sort of like war against me because of the way I record this podcast inside of the second bedroom in our Apartment and it does sound like what Natalie's described is that it's a monster screaming at himself, right? Inside of a small tiny room that I imagine he hears every word of yeah I'm sure very thin walls in those apartments. So in his sort of weak LA fight against me I hear him turn up his television. Oh like at night Can't be that fucking easy no way I'm literally fueled by the power of Satan himself. Yeah Well, you know gas the whole family

I'll go pull a line and then they'll have to go run that screaming out of there absolutely and you know It's really escalating if they start putting hummus on your doorknob. That's the typical Los Angeles revenge All right. Well speaking of I guess revenge to some degree. Let's go on to Jack the Ripper part for the suspects My goodness, there's a lot of people who could have done it Oh, it could have been anyone, but apparently it was not the fat guy from nuns on a road You know, that's ridiculous. Did you know he's Hagrid from Harry Potter? Yes, and apparently he was also in from hell So it all kind of works out There are countless possibilities as to who their real identity of Jack the Ripper is

Or it could be a lady Jill the Ripper. Oh, we talked about that today because that's a whole other book Intersectional intersectional. That's good. It's good. I'm glad we're open. We're inclusive here I do though. I am so happy to to upload this information out of my head And into the show. I am so pleased that we're at part four of Jack the Ripper the suspects Let's start with let's get him in this fucker to the wall Well, this is how they got the Central Park five arrested. Okay, let's let's take it easy a little bit. Let's look at some evidence We're gonna start with one of the more far out theories We're gonna start with the royal conspiracy

Now there's been many royal conspiracies and the fact that most of The various sires of the royal family in the UK are Visibly mentally handicapped. Absolutely. There's obviously been several conspiracies just to begin with just to keep the basic secret That fucking Prince Abby can't tie his own shoes, but he'll certainly suck his own dick Yeah, I mean that was the whole thing with Prince William and Prince Harry Everyone loved them so much because they were the first Royals born with their feet going the right direction And the new one, what's his name not Prince Harry? Who's the guy that's gonna be king? I don't know We don't know. We don't know the Royals. Good Lord. No, that's what

It'll sit the ones with Mary to the fucking version of Katie Holmes. That's William. That's William. That's William He's getting ugly. Yes. He looks like his fucking father because he's getting up though. His head is spreading He's getting the buck teeth. His teeth are colliding and absolutely So keep in mind what the royal family looks like right now and imagine them ten times uglier Because Prince Charles was probably fairly attractive back in the day, but they the Jack the Ripper might have very well looked like him now He might have so Joseph Sickert son of the famous painter Walter Sickert who was also a suspect Claimed in the early 70s that the entire Jack the Ripper affair was a conspiracy Perpetrated by the English royalty to cover up the birth of an illegitimate child fathered by Prince Albert Victor Christian Edward known to his friends as Eddie

You know, we're a bee I've also heard a bee which is good You're gonna see because a bee or a bee was known as the slow child in the royal family Yes, and that when when Eddie was born the doctor just said oh, no It seems as if we'll have to create a serial killer to get the attention of our deformed son Yeah, Eddie was rumored to be at the very least mildly mentally challenged He had an unusually long and thin neck and he hid that by wearing long starched collars Which earned him the nickname?

collars and cuffs I Tell you one thing mother. I don't mind then calling me collars and cuffs because it's certainly better than spaghetti neck Can you pick your pick your head up son? Oh, I wish I could but it seemed to be my spine as as weak as my neck There's players bring me some sort of stick that we can tape this back of me because I am simply soup with shoes The non-stop British royal family inbreeding they deserve every deformed child they get it looks like the tech is done I've accidentally robbed my own forehead against my penis. I must be completely wrecked You are indeed erect and you're not wearing any pants. Could you go upstairs? You're embarrassing the royal family? Okay, could you please just stop me at the top and push me down like a slinky?

And that's where the slinky was formed and created So the story goes that Eddie was sent to the painter Walter sicker Who was a close friend of the royal family so sicker could take him under his wing and keep an eye on the boy? Presumably keeping an eye on him had to do with the fact that Eddie was a notorious bisexual Can you imagine being sexually accosted by this dude? You can't say no to the royal family. So if you're a guy, give it up show your baskets Show your baskets and snakes. You're gonna arm it ready for the bit of the licking You're gonna kill me yeah

So secret lived in the East End and Eddie while on one of his John's met and fell in love with a Catholic shop Girl named Annie crook. She was soon pregnant as Eddie probably didn't think to pull out The two were secretly married and moved in together Eddie being a little slow for some reason didn't think that his mother Queen Victoria would notice that her son was now living with The Catholic wife and child in the East End and as the royalty was none too popular at the time a scandal of this magnitude might have brought on Revolution mother see mother. I couldn't possibly be a homosexual because I'm making love to this prostitute. Isn't it wonderful? I'm a daddy. I'm a daddy like daddy was Yes, you are any crook to be fair was not a prostitute

She was just a shop girl who worked on it to edit tobacco shop But now this is a prostitute there goes my lands right away turning from a lands to a rope it does Oh, that's unfortunate. So the Queen asked her Prime Minister the marquee of Salisbury To take care of the problem the marquee of Salisbury I just picture her covered in brown gravy that we don't quite know what it what it What the hell is inside of it? What makes it disgusting? So Salisbury organized a raid on Prince Eddie's love nest on Cleveland Street and captured Annie crook They then enlisted the help of the Queen's physician

Sir William Goh who attempted to erase the poor girl's memory a process which allegedly drove her insane And this is where it would have been really helpful to have the men in black Will Smith and the white guy show up with one of their magic pens But also we have a little bit of there is historical contents Context in US history if you look at the MK ultra programs as they did do attempts to erase people's memories And they destroyed their brains using you know the psychological You know basically filling up with uppers and then bringing them down and then keeping them up all night You can fracture a person's memory really well But this is also this is where we're starting to get into weird territory about the Masons and who dr. Gull really was

Also dr. Gull the lobotomy was first starting to be played around with over in Sweden in 1888 so it's possible that Gull may have taken a page from their book and done a little bit of a knock-knock on her frontal cortex Well, absolutely the old carpenter's trick I don't think that the people who got lobotomies would consider it playing around Something about it just when you're jamming a nail up someone's skull like their Jesus's palm on a cross So this is supposed to be a game. This is fun. This is like a funny game. This is fun I don't really consider the back of my head a fucking net. No Strangely enough you just built a new memory of horror actually I can remember more things now than ever

But this whole story is really well put together in Alan Moore's from hell Yeah, which is if you look at it. It's got in the back of from hell, which I'm in the middle of rooting I'm right now again. It's fucking fantastic. It's got it's tremendous. It's absolutely the most tremendous I cannot do this. Um, I It's got a glossary about a hundred page glossary in the back that basically this whole story was pieced together from a book Called Steven Knight's I believe is called Jack the right Jack the Ripper the final solution It's like a really horrific conclusion the final solution So William Gull came in Lord Salisbury came in they got any crook

But who they didn't catch was Alice the actual child that started this whole mess at the time of the raid Alice was in the care of Mary Kelly who in this version of the story was an orphan rescued from the poor house by the artist Walter Sickard and was at the time serving as nanny to Eddie and Annie's child And after the police had come and gone Mary left the child at a convent and returned to Whitechapel where she fell into the old cycle of drinking prostitution Once more the good times. Yeah There were just I just feel like There are a lot of babies slept at convents. Yeah back in the day. Oh, yeah newspapers just thrown there on the steps

But as we know, Mary Kelly had some loose lips when she was in her cups and That's That is a double entendre And she spoke more than once about the royal conspiracy that she had inadvertently been a part of and there were three women in Particular who were listening to those stories night after night Mary Nichols Elizabeth Stride and Annie Chapman three of the rippers eventual victims And it just so happened that these women owed money to some local street tuffs Now the idea is is that if it's true that they all knew each other and hung out the concept was is that they were gonna

They're gonna make this plan, right? They believe that the reason why these people were starting to get murdered the uptick of murder that was happening Whitechapel was because of these street gangs and that they started believing within the community of prostitutes That they were killing people who owed the money that they were deciding to like basically were clearing everybody's deaths by murdering you Well, I mean it had some truth to it because Emma Smith and this the Emma Smith part. This is actually a matter of records the Emma Smith Who kicked off the whole Whitechapel murders the 11 murders that we know as the Whitechapel murders? She was beaten to death by three street tuffs Who were trying to extract money from her and this story is actually quite cute if you think of the street tuffs as cartoon

Rottweilers and pugs you see that is how you always make it cute That is how you make it cute. What kind of dog plays the prostitute? Oh, I'm all teased. Cocker spaniel. Oh my goodness. I guess they got to live up to their name So this group of Whitechapel prostitutes They owed a debt to somebody who said that they owed the money pretty much paying protection So they figured the best way to pay their debt was to blackmail Queen Victoria And to giving them hush money to prevent them from blabbing to the press about an illegitimate Catholic royal baby

That easy just that easy And then from hell the idea is that they talked to sicker as sort of their proxy Yeah, because sicker was helping Prince Ebi who was walking around like a fucking human slinky and Helping him try to be a normal guy sort of like in the movie house guest Yeah, no, it wasn't long before Prime Minister Salisbury caught wind of the plot And so he called on Sir William Gull who had done such a smashing job on Annie Crook to once again take care of the problem Gull decided the best way to do this was not just a simple series of murders or even just Disappearances that were carried out quietly

He decided to use this prostitute hunt as an excuse to perform a gigantic Masonic Ritual that would be known the world over It's fucking me it would be killer if it's true would be an awesome fucking really dark horrible ritual But it would really work, right? Yeah, and if you look at from hell, you said there's there's some weird connections, right? Why in the fuck would they have used Sir Gull because at the time he was not actually Queen Victoria's doctor He was one of the Royal doctors that was around so what they say is the part of the Masonic twist here Was the fact that he was a Mason that was chosen by several people with the police to be the dude Who got the job and that according to from hell The doctor Gull then went ahead and decided against everybody's wishes to turn it into a Masonic ritual

Because the Queen didn't want to actually be connected to anything so bloody and disgusting But Gull was like now's my time as is as what happens with anybody who becomes the Masonic Surgeon to the Queen or it could be that it wasn't Sir William Gull Who's I who had the idea to make it a huge Masonic ritual? It could be that he was Ordered to make it a huge Masonic ritual by none other than Lord Randolph Churchill father of Winston Churchill Well, there's no way that that's not true That's 100% true sir Gull sounds like the kind of guy who freezes soup so we can lick it It also just sounds like another character that could have possibly been voiced by John Candy. Oh, absolutely

Now Stephen Knight who wrote Jack the Ripper the final solution said about the Masonic angle if Masonic supremacy appears in jeopardy It is reestablished by a show of strength by crimes of violence perpetrated to demonstrate the continuing power of free Masons for the benefit of brothers abroad crimes of violence would have been committed to Reestablished Masonic authority in the eyes of Masons everywhere See the Masons were a part of the establishment and the establishment as we said earlier was somewhat in trouble at the time Or at the very least was in a precarious position and the murders of these women would show the entire world That the Masons were still in charge. I think if they could just look into the future a little bit

They would change the term final solution It just no that book was written in like 1985 Probably could have he probably should have thought about yeah, so the comparison there isn't so good It's very interesting because it's also kind of like the Sopranos It's like the mob the idea is that you come in and you show everybody what that you really mean business And we'll kill these five prostitutes which in the end It's a really weird show of strength because they should have just killed a bunch of police officers If you really want to do it just kill a bunch of police officers

Yeah, but the problem was that so many of the police officers the people in the upper echelons of the police department were free Masons right and did circle have a love affair with his therapist. I Don't think he talked about his feelings. Oh, okay. I don't know I don't think he kissed his wife very often. I don't want to think about a British thing That's a British thing where they don't touch. Well, yeah They don't hug her I always remember that story our friend of ours told the story about how she dated him Yeah, a guy from the UK for a little while and the big thing is that every time he came he'd go sorry Well, I guess that's fine. They don't have any lips

Which makes it difficult to kiss it's more of a teeth thing and that's uncomfortable Now some say that sir William Gaul was taking his orders as I said from none other than Lord Randolph Churchill Although the Freemasons didn't I Randolph was ever a member Secret maintains that not only was he a member. He was also the Magister Magistral Roll Room You shitty Gandalf Sounds like ya dumpy Gandalf No Lord Randolph like oh so many of our suspects suffered from syphilis and And naturally blame prostitutes for his condition. You were going to hear the word syphilis more than you ever thought or wanted

So every time you hear the word syphilis You know smack your co-worker in the face You could do that or be thankful you don't have syphilis or if you do have syphilis remember that you have it Remember just remember and because Randolph was syphilitic He was also impotent and so his wife began to step out on him this instilled in him a hatred of women And so covering up the royal conspiracy in the most brutal way possible was the perfect outlet for Randolph's twisted desire for revenge So this is all boner related stuff, huh? I mean most things are bone. All right Let's most things in history. Yeah all of history is boner related

And if you look at that what from hell and what Alan Moore talks about a lot is that these rituals a lot of the times We're talking about Restraintening the power of men over the female energy of the moon-based religions that used to control this area of the UK Right, okay, so there's a lot of hate against women specifically I mean as always, but if this was a very concentrated time, okay? So right now so the theory is they wanted to cover up having a disabled child and they want to cover up this guy not being able To have a baby not at all not well no no prostitute's child. No it was not a prostitute at all They're not all prostitutes. Absolutely not they are not all prostitutes

Any crook was a shop girl who worked in a tobacco shop who had an affair with Prince Edward She was a Catholic Eddie at was a Protestant It would have been a huge scandal for a member of the Protestant royalty to marry and have a child with a Catholic Woman so the Queen got Lord Salisbury to cover up the entire incident. Okay, that's where we are Lord Cubes steak came down when he said we've got to wipe this out even though Technically a royal marriage can be annulled if the Queen said I didn't say that you could get married to that person Yeah, so she could have just ended the whole thing wait writing a piece of paper But it said she said kill these prostitutes right or Lord to meet said let's go and kill all these

Right, so let's go or it was Sir Randolph Churchill. We don't know So let's go through some of the Masonic links Catherine Edo's the fourth victim was found in mitre square the mitre and the square are tools of the stone mason And are emblems of free masonry She was also the recipient of facial mutilations in the form of upside down triangles Which could be an echo of the compass on the masonic logo you with me? Yeah, or he was just trying to make a really gross-looking clown face. Yeah, I was gonna say the world's first juggalo Then there's leather apron while the killer did not wear a leather apron

It sure saw was reported in the press quite a bit that he did and is it a coincidence that masons wear aprons as well? This could have been a rumor pushed by the Freemasons to signify to other members what was really going on. Nice Then There's the message the Jews are the men that will not be blamed for nothing Which was found written on a building right above a bloody piece of apron belonging to Catherine Edo's right after her murder This is a possible reference to the three Jews Spelled J U W E S in masonic lore those three Jews or jubella jubello and jubilu Did they three masons who murdered their grandmaster hire him a booth during the building of Solomon's temple?

You said you look like you look like you have questions Benjamin. No, I just there's There first of all your whatever question you ask you first educate yourself Yeah, no, it's just the names. I'll start with the religion that they were part of yes And also this would be the first time in recorded masonic history that someone decided to be hip and called them the Jews On all in one go. No one else had ever called them the Jews. It would just seem like some guy at some point It's like calling somebody like it's basically saying like lit It's like saying like yeti. He made it cool To be like the Jews are the ones that people in these three, but no one in recorded history ever said that also

I found an alternative theory about the apron in the bucket This guy wrote in the essay in the essay book jack the ripper the mammoth book of jack the ripper and this essay Hold on. I'm trying to find him the author He who who blames a fisherman named carl feigenbaum trevor marriott He says that was common practice for prostitutes to shit in aprons and leave them everywhere Oh, the old dukey surprise Carl why why yeah, no, you can't just say that without saying why he just said it Well, I mean, I think that that sounds very that's a fun thing to do back then

He said they couldn't get to toilets. So they would shit in fabric in their own clothes They would cut off pieces of clothes and shitted them because they said that the the piece of apron was covered in blood and shit Yeah, right, maybe she was on her fucking period and then she perioded in chat Into an apron and then they just left it on the street. Yeah, but why was she carrying that around with her? Well, why wouldn't you? memories Think about it. Just the world's saddest runaway. Think about it. Just think about it. You're in dukey in blood Don't you want a sandwich to take with you? No. No, I have a bag full of dukey and blood I will be fine out here on my own

Well, there's a further connection to jubello jubello and jubilu their punishment after they killed hyrum abeff Was to be mule mutilated in much the same way the jack the rippers victims were by having their bodies ripped open And their entrails thrown over their shoulders Four of the five ripper victims have their throats cut from left to right in accordance with the masonic entered apprentice penal sign Also, you're supposed to mind blowing a dude getting into the Freemasons and that's not even a joke You're supposed to subjugate yourself to the master by getting on your knees in front of them And a part of it is that they're supposed to be nude under the apron. That is not that is not fake

Wait, and literally you're wait. Hold on. It's a symbolic fileting of the people above you Yeah, you got to go through that whole thing and then at the end you got to fake blow the guy Yeah, do you have to make like a noise like If you're a good fucking mason if you want to be a magistrarium, then yeah But you don't actually do it I don't know. I guess it depends on the style. Yeah, it depends on the style of the lord Magistrarium strange final task, but Well, those four victims that have their throats cut from left to right that also echoed the legend of the four crowned martyrs

Which is an important part of masonic mythology, but you might be asking if it echoed the four crowned martyrs Why were there five victims? One was a suicide Ask the question marcus answer it Well, unfortunately for kathryn eddows The fifth was a mistake. Oh, if you'll remember the night kathryn eddows died She used the alias mary kelly when she was arrested So gull alerted by his connections in the police department that the ringleader of the royal plot had been found

He decided to finish the whole thing in one night and give kathryn the full masonic treatment thinking he was sending the biggest message of all Which is why kathryn eddows Despite not being a part of the plot that the hypothesis that steven. I put forward says right That's why she got all of the masonic symbols and whatnot. Well, that you got to choose your alias very well That's why if I ever get arrested it'll be like i'm james woods And uh, everyone will treat treat me with immense respect and i am leonardo jacaprio. There's no way i'm not But when these people finally did catch up with mary She would get it worse than all of the others combined

Which was more of a message to the people of whitechapel than it was To the freemasons anybody who might have known anything about the plot they would look at all of the women that were murdered They would see the extreme cruelty That mary kelly went through and they would keep their mouths shut Oh, yeah, I wouldn't say anything remotely close to something that mary kelly said if that was the outcome Yeah, no there is a uh, there's a ton other masonic tie-in that I think is really interesting But this is mostly it comes from from hell and also it it's posited as a as a real occult finding within the streets of london Or is the architecture of nicolas hawksmore now, our nicolas hawksmore was a royal architect

That was assigned to build something like I think it was 50 churches, but he ended up building 12 uh, and they were all within line with ease what they say is that if you plot them Along certain maps right if you do it and you put when you mix that with the victims and where they were placed Around the uk that they form a pentagram. They form a star now I was looking at a map of it and it does loosely you can make it be a star Yeah, if you're looking to make a ritual out of it, right and what he did was it He was a mason that was technically he was developing these churches, but he snuck Really intense pagan symbols into these churches like putting obelisks on top of a church

Instead of making it instead of like the traditional altar He would make it look like a weird Greek circle the grotesque animals on the side of it very interesting Uh, like off-center all of this has kind of to show clues that he's putting weird little like Subversive messages into his churches now. There's an idea that sir gull Used the positioning of the bodies in the pentagram alongside like the lay lines That these churches in different little architectural bits made in order to what they say is give blood to the stones and create a gigantic Power ritual which was again to subjugate the feminine spirit Yeah in order to propagate the male power drive. Yeah sun driven subjugate

Subjugate the female spirit and to usher in the 20th century Which was admittedly a time of intense violence a time of murder a time of war Some could also say that this very same ritual could have been done to Jambane Ramsey when she was murdered to usher in a new sacrificial age that we are in the middle of right now Well, it's 9 11 get with the fucking program. I don't know why you're in your car Pull over the pull your car over quit your job Go to the uk and start getting some rocket launchers and take out these churches You're gonna do that, huh?

Take out the churches. Yeah, well you mentioned that's how you mentioned from hell Uh, did you know the fat guy from nuns in the run? He was actually in the movie from hell And isn't that something yeah two days episode is brought to you by Casper mattresses The Casper is an obsessively engineered mattress at a shockingly fair price supportive memory foams create an award-winning sleep surface With just the right sink and just the right bounce Die magazine named it one of the best inventions of 2015 try Casper for a hundred nights risk free in your own home If you don't love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything Casper understands the importance of truly sleeping on a mattress before you commit especially considering you're gonna spend a third of your life on it

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This cleveland street address would have been quite handy for the bisexual prince eddie As 19 cleveland street was a homosexual brothel at the center of the cleveland street scandal of 1889 Where it was discovered that the aristocracy was bugger and telegraph boys on the download Oh, my listen. I'm trying to wear these fancy new platform shoes that my friend lightning gave me But it seems to me my ankles can't support the weight of my legs Could you pour me into a barrel and take me to the nearest boy? Just roll him down the street, I guess Yeah, actually there's some who say that prince eddie himself was the ripper driven mad by a hatred of women and again

Siphalus, I hate you. I hate you and how perfect you look on your corset My breasts just I've got bananas as what they've been called. They said my breasts are like bananas And they're shameful. They're disgusting and mischievous. They look terrible when they're squeached Oh Good banana boob is always fun prince eddie. You're your edition of prince eddie really does sound like a villain in the invisibles Yes, yes, I like the guy that's the assistant of sir miles. Oh, yeah, I've shot him again. I'm sorry I'm sorry You know, I just feel like society if they would have let him just be gay

He probably hates women because people forced him to be with them Yeah, I mean, you probably could have been a great beard for somebody or no, it's not true Oh, he loved it. Oh, this is bullshit. Oh, this is none of this is real. Oh, is that right? None of this is real. I mean for example like eddie. He was 500 miles away at the time of two of the murders But he had a long neck. So he's really only 50 feet away from anything So you're saying he's like a rapist stretch arm strong. Yeah neck. Yeah, he just he always went into every room face first Yeah, and the gul story that at william gul He had suffered a debilitating stroke about a year before the murders began

Which would make it impossible for him to be the agile jack that we know the killer to be I've been watching a lot of the wwe network and jim ross who is one of the best commentators in history also suffered a stroke He was back a year later. He looks like um that that I know that commentator Do you ever see them up at christmas carol the ghost of christmas present in that has a flat plastic face with fucking gray lips That's what he has Well, I don't know I think it'd be kind of fun to have half of your face droopy under and the other half normal because then you can be like two face Yeah, but you can say good me bad me. Yeah, but I don't think imagine actually, you know what that is very

That's a very useful way of thinking about it because william gul was probably about the same age as a jim ross When jim ross had this actually Gull was probably about 20 years older than jim ross was when he had the stroke. So try to imagine uh jim ross now Killing five prostitutes and then running away That's what you were gonna say very very easy. I thought you were gonna say jim ross watching the ripper kill mary kelly You're like, oh, that's a slobber knocker Oh, honestly, but there's truth to the fact that well That's the idea is that he also had help with his driver

The edit coach driver that was with him and possibly propped him up where it was like bring me closer to the guts And then she would just like move his leg back and forth and help his hands switch back and forth like that Do it like that. Oh, there's the kidney. What a wonderful surprise I you know, it's sometimes I open up these prosies and i'm just so surprised and not filled with candy So we had like a kato or a morgan freeman from driving miss daisy type No, we also know that while annie and alice crook did exist Eddie is absolutely not the father of alex crook as he was hundreds of miles away when the baby Was conceived. We know that from birth records. Did morry povich weigh in

You are not the father That's absolutely lovely because I was extremely scared of the fact that I could make love to a man long enough That he would have a child Strange But speaking of that baby alice cook grew up quietly in the convent where mary kelly had allegedly Dropped her off alice ended up marrying the painter walter sickert Who gave birth to joseph sickert and it just so happens that joseph sickert was the source of almost all of this Much like jeff mudgett who bullshitted his way through claiming his ancestor hh holmes was actually jack the ripper

Which is also not true. Interesting. No way No way. There's no way. He just needed money And he had no skills and nothing to offer society. And so he threw his fucking family under the bus That's what i'm thinking. It's such a strange thing to be like. No, I guarantee you my grandfather was a serial killer I'm not gonna. Why would I make that up? Of course. I mean, I will be paid to say this now the other thing is though, but his walter sickert did a very interesting thing as a painter is that he painted these really uh Kind of thoughtful pieces about prostitutes in the white chapel area

That's where this these kind of stories came from is that he had made friends In in the in that neighborhood and because he would use prostitutes as subjects, which is actually pretty common But he would do these weird sort of things where their faces would be all mashed up because I guess I don't know what the term is There's an artistic term that is like it's supposed to feel like a thing and not be a thing like it's not portraiture Impressionism Yes, that's exactly it and that the face would the face would be all messed up And so the they there are a lot of modern Ripperologists that go on to say the reason why he does this to the faces is because it's it's symbolic of what the ripper did

And he knew who the ripper was chunky painting That's kind of what it is also ripperologist. Yes. Love that turn Now created by collin wilson who wrote the poltergeist book is one of my favorite fucking Uh, uh favorite occult books of all time. Yeah, well collin wilson also wrote the book on the black monk of pontifract Collin wilson is one of the greatest cult writers of the 20th century. Very cool. Yeah, he's a fantastic writer So the huge ripperologist, which makes him an unbearable nerd Now the closest anyone of the time came to any Suspect at all comes from an actual document known now as the mcnaughton memo

Sir melville mcnaughton was the former chief of scotland yard cid and in a private handwritten memo melville Outlined three suspects that for years have been the subjects of speculation. The first is montague. John drew it So listen I was looking up. So where are the the the this is like a famous piece of uh of evidence in the jack the ripper lore Right, this idea of this memoranda that he wrote naming these three possible possible suspects He wrote it in response to the fact. He was defending a man named thomas cut bush, right? Who was your named after your great-grandfather who did what for a profession? He's just

It was like technically a very bad name for a gardener Yes, um, but thomas cut bush was being arranged for stabbing women in the butt And they were trying to pin the jack the ripper crimes on him and he says no no no no He's not these are the three people. We think it might be he just likes to stab butts You know that is a strange phenomenon. It happened in new york city about three years ago. There was a random butt slash You around as well. Yeah, that's strange. I remember that So montague john drew it the first of the three suspects He was a london lawyer whom mcnaughton said was suspected of the crimes by his own family

saying that he was privy to quote private information that mcnaughton did not disclose in the memo super private Everything was very private now This is like the weird x thing in every one of the riprologist suspect algebra That is the thing that's hard to describe because they keep saying well If these cops and certain members and certain investigators had private information They didn't publish it So we're just gonna bank on the fact that that's the proof is in that cloud of gray

The proof that we need is in that term private information and that you can then use that to basically turn anybody into a suspect So this is an upstanding member of society as well Well, really the only thing linking montague to the murders was the fact that he committed suicide soon after the mary kelly Murder by jumping into the tens river with stones in his pockets to weigh him down Now it was said that Montague suffered from quote sexual insanity But the reality is that montague was most likely just gay and was being blackmailed at work because of it And for some reason his family thought it was better that he was remembered as jack the ripper rather than just some lawyer who happened to be gay

It's really sad because he was a teacher and a lawyer which you have you have to be very smart Yeah to be both and and strong to carry around all those stones in your pockets It's a good core workout good for your thighs and your glutes Yeah, now the next man in the memo is michael oestrog described by mcnaughton as quote a mad russian doctor a convict an unquestionably a homicidal maniac Oestrog was not a doctor and no evidence connects him to the murders He was just a terrible person hanging around whitechapel at the time

But most people were yeah I mean, but there were some who were really bad the bad the worst the worst ones which is just like that's because as a base Everybody's rough You just go from either gross to bad to potential serial killer to actual serial killer Well, you get the feeling the grossest ones were probably the happiest they were in heaven They were in their own version of mortville, you know from desperate living Yeah, as far as being just a terrible person in uh, whitechapel goes the same goes for erin kosminski A polish jew employed in london as a hairdresser

He was allegedly driven insane by quote solitary vices, which was victorian code for jargon off way too much They all sound like characters lil mac has to knock out and punch out They all sound like people that would just have a unique boxing style Now kosminski is often lumped in with david cohen another jewish man who ended up in an insane asylum just like kosminski did However, it is probable that cohen is not this guy's name as cohen was just the name that asylum workers gave to jewish people When they couldn't spell their last name and couldn't be bothered to just ask them how they spelled it Yes, there's so many people that they talk about how like their whole fucking histories were wiped out because people Were just too lazy to learn how to spell polish names. It's like me. My name's a brow ski

It's easy when I say the name's a brow ski so often I get the uh, that's quite a name And I'm just being like it's fucking really easy It's it's spelled like it sounds and that's racism and that's my new thing man. I'm not white. You're a polish. You're polish I'm not white. All right. Who are these guys? I'm standing with the kosminski's The cohen's that were falsely blamed by martin fido Martin fido who wrote a whole book about blaming these jewish people and your last name is slang for a dog Well, I think that that's just so I'm so happy. You're a social justice warrior for the polish Yes, we need to stand up and protect the recipe for ice

It's only the recipe. Yeah, it is that is a tricky one Uh, I mean, I'm from wisconsin. It's skis all over the place. Uh, it's a brow ski zolkowskis That's that's a very common name, but I think it is difficult for a lot of people to understand Well, fido thinks that cohen was actually a whitechapel bootmaker named Nathan Uh, come in ski. Hmm another victim of syphilis Both come in ski and kosminski were committed and the murder stopped afterward Which is really the only thing linking either one of these guys to the murder So the mcnaughton memo all of these uh all three guys in mcnaughton memo. It's paper thin stuff

They're all very easily ripped apart. Okay Also the guy the head of the cid after this guy anderson also said the same thing He blamed the polish jew and he said that the killer ended up in an asylum and there are a lot of people that use that One statement that he made as the basis for all of this is the idea They end up so people a lot of times start in the asylum records like poor martin fido who said like my author My my boss could not afford a research assistant So I had to go to the uk myself and go through all of these dusty ass fucking like asylum Um fucking records from 150 years ago. Oh, that's fun though

You get to be like nicolas cage and national treasure and you get to go I miss going into a library and looking at micro fish. You still can well you can but what's the point? Um, you know what? This is you don't miss it. No, I don't know. Well, what's the point? You could go do it? You've never even looked at micro fish. You were blind drunk through every class you ever took. Yeah, but you can still look at micro fish You can do that in any sort of mindset This story or this, uh, this seems most plausible of a theory for me because they're all polish And I think we have to think about that all they gotta do is to put on their dress backwards and tell them they're running away

It's like all of that sir. It's all you. It's very easy to fool a polish person. You're telling me you're running away But you I can tell you're coming towards me. All right, but I take you word for it But it's very uh, it's very uh, it's strange because also it's about the the idea of polish Was also a broad term for anybody that was of eastern european descent So they're even looking they're trying to specify polish people But they actually meant that to be anybody austrian that because they were incredibly racist and lazy. Yeah Well, I mean racism against polish people in england persist to this day That was a huge part of brexit was all of keeping all of the polish immigrants out of england

So this this stuff, uh, yeah, it's nothing new that's going on here. Absolutely Now there are literally hundreds of other suspects in the jack the ripper case outside of just those three And it would take just as many episodes to cover all of them as we spent just covering the murders So in the interest of time here are just a few of our favorites. Ooh, there's dr. Thomas cream That's interesting dr. Cream. That's how i'm gonna start calling myself. Yeah, like right before I go dr. Cream Dr. Tommy cream poisoned for london prostitutes in 1891 as he stood on the gallows for those crimes. He supposedly yelled I am jack the But he swung before he could finish the last sentence. Who knows what he was gonna say. Oh my goodness

I am jack the stripper Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage jack the stripper And him just taking his wagging his dick out. Oh, yeah Chippendale indeed next is severin Entom Niovic Klosowski Another another polish gentleman. He was a barber surgeon who lived in whitechapel in 1888 guilty Anybody's got a hyphens. Yeah, it's like we're called multi hyphenates because we're right director director of that kind of shit

But that's the kind of hyphenate that will kill a prostitute and look for its uterus. Absolutely. Oh a barber surgeon No, no they barber surgeons were all over the place for centuries barber surgeons were people who did minor surgeries They did bloodletting bloodletting But they would also cut your hair shave your beard or give you an enema if needed So you can go to the barber and get your anal cavity completely flushed out and come out with like a mohawk Yeah, or a bowl cut Yeah, that's just how it was in those days. There's very versatile uh people one-stop shopping. Yeah So this guy

Severin he was arrested seven years after the jack the ripper murders for poisoning three consecutive common law wives And when he was caught he said So you've caught jack the ripper at least Or have you? I don't know actually. I don't know I should actually put a question mark on the end of this. So you've caught jack the ripper. I hope so Because all the women are very afraid And they won't spread them

They won't spread him as much. I'm sure they wouldn't know. I mean you can't kill three of your wives No, not get away with one back then but no way then there's francis thompson a british poet an opium addict Who lived on the streets of london between 1885 and 1888 and he was Often heard to brag about owning a leather apron That's not an accomplishment. No, it's not an opium Uh heroin for all intents and purposes. You can't kill somebody on heroin. You can't even kill yourself. Look at Kurt Cobain He was murdered He was murdered. He was murdered. So in 1888 francis thompson wrote a poem called the ballad of the witch babies

With any luck, you'll think i'm Ozzy Osbourne And that was about a quote lusty young knight who disemboweled women now that name the lusty young babies That might be just a fiction. I'm not sure I found it in a weird novel about uh jack the ripper victims, uh, but I like it. I mean, so you're like going around and be like, how do you just grab a baby? What's a good word for cute, uh innocent lusty lusty Those babies always giving me them bedroom eyes asking for what I do asking for what I do to them

That is not a description for a baby ever No, one particularly interesting suspect is robert donston stevensson aka dr. Roslyn donston He he changed his name to roslyn sounds like a bailiff He allegedly committed the murders as a part of a massive black magic ritual Donston had actually written an article at the time of the murders accusing another doctor named morgan davies of the murder Allegedly using details the police had not released to the public That's because he was sort of like an amateur jack the ripper investigator who kept showing up He was just like an annoying dude who wanted to write articles

So what he would do is he would write these articles from the perspective of the killer Where he would like do and it was very sensationalistic and he would put some things in there that were real But a lot of it was like weird conjecture in order to sell newspapers I also love that this is just razzing You know a person that you don't like be like hey donny take a look at the paper today I accused you of five murders It would I did this is funny you get the joke Now that guy don't send he later went into business with the editor of lucifer magazine

A woman named baroness vittoria cremers Oh god, though. I bet honestly. I bet she was kind of hot. Oh, Victoria. She sounds beautiful. Victoria cremers. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, yeah friend tells you he's gonna set you up with his friend vittoria. You're gonna go on that day Oh, absolutely. She's not a warrior cremers because back in the day the uh Uh, sir names used to be named after what your family did So basically the concept is like her name is essentially victoria jerkoffsya Yeah, which also that does sound kind of polish know how to think about it vittoria squirt maiden. Yeah cremers She's not a playboy hot, but she'd definitely be on the cover of cherry or some of the other more club

Oh club continental. Absolutely tough club to get into. Well, you have to have $3.99 So baroness vittoria She found neckties caked with dried blood in donston's room and when she asked where he had gotten them He said they had belonged to jack the ripper And that was the first ever instance of flirting with a goth woman because that's how you do it No other she said it's the first time you show the instance of like just showing a john Wayne gacy picture that made a woman wet for you I think it worked. Now those ties eventually made their way to the man who was by far The person who has mentioned the most on last podcast on the left

famed power bottom allister crowley. Oh my god. Yeah God, he's just in everything. Yeah, he just shows up. He's just we're gonna pop He also uh happened to have weird concerts with a man named elleron hubbard. Who's gonna show up too Yes, and we will talk about elleron hubbard coming up here in the future. Yes, we will Uh, crowley said that donston was without a doubt jack the ripper and that the ritual was donston's attempt to turn himself invisible Did it work? Interesting. Can you imagine if it worked though? It seemed like all you'd have to do is be uh become a poet And then everyone will stop caring you exist. Absolutely. Why don't you just be an actor? That would also work

But the most famous of all ripper suspects though He is not famous for being a suspect is charles latunga dodson aka Lewis carol author of alice in wonderland. No, this is my question. He is He was a child molester, right? It's debatable latunga Is that right? I don't want to everything is ruined Uh, you know, isn't that what this show has taught us nothing is is good except for mr. Rogers We know that nothing is good except for mr. Rogers and we know everyone's they've been trying to get dirt on mr

Rogers for decades It's never happened. They've been trying to get dirt on them. They started that whole sniper rumor They started all kinds of stuff No one's ever got dirt on mr. Rogers and they never will because he's the only pure human soul to have ever existed Although I will say this about mr. Rogers a bit negative. His mother did make all of his uh all of his cardigans Uh, she didn't want to do it though. Uh, he actually forced his mother to work. He forced her at gunpoint She took a gun up her vagina. Oh No, no, no, no, no

That is a mother's love. That is a mother's love for her son I mean she was chained to the sewing machine and was forced to work, but that's okay now Lewis carol author of alice in wonderland as we all know it was claimed in the book jack the ripper light-hearted friend That carol confessed to the murder in a series of anagrams Found in a children's primer version of alice in wonderland called nursery alice Here's the original

So she wandered away through the wood carrying the ugly little thing with her and a great job It was to keep hold of it it wriggled about so But at last she found out that the proper way to keep it tight was to hold itself foot And by its right ear Hmm rearranged. This is what it reads She wriggled about so but at last Dorsion and bane found a way to keep hold of the fat little whore I got a tight hold of her and slid her throat left ear to right her hoe

It was tough wet disgusting too so weary of it. They threw up jack the ripper And away you go That is wild and this guy wrote alice in wonderland Yeah, that guy wrote alice in wonderland. But before you read too much into that Listen to what can be done with the first three sentences of richard wallis's jack the ripper light-hearted friend This is the first three sentences of that book. It says This is my story of jack the ripper the man behind britain's worst unsolved murders It is a story that points to the unlikeliest of suspects a man who wrote children's stories

That man is charles dodson better known as lewis carroll author of such beloved books as alice in wonderland Now three anagram enthusiasts Rearranged those three sentences to say this The truth is this I richard wallis stabbed and killed a muted nicole brown and cold blood Severing her throat with my thrusty shiv strokes I set up orenthal james simpson who is utterly innocent of this murder ps I also wrote shakespeare sonnets and a lot of francis bacon's works, too So he's a plagiarist

That is horrible. Now the lesson is that anagrams are pretty fucking cool. Yeah anagrams are fun What that is the nerd piece of shit isolationist message we're sending today anagrams can be fun Anagrams can be fun, but you're just rearranging a series. I mean, there's really not that meant you the the options are endless Yeah, that's fun. Can say any that is that's what the I love anagrams. Yeah, I have never seen such autistic fun before in my life Yeah, and anagram you could make that spell ran a gam Or a whole series of different kinds of things Anagram could be anagram. Yeah, it could be Nagram sometimes I like to read words backwards, too like marcus is

Sarkar Sarkam Sarkam Sarkram Sarkram Sarkram sounds like a god Ben is neb Ben is neb All right. Well that concludes jack the ripper part four the suspects part one That's right. So technically this will be a five parter only a two parter on the suspects Yeah, it's gonna be like harry potter and the deathly halos how that was two movies This is going to be like a yeah part four is two episodes because this episode has been all of the ridiculous suspects

This has been all the people that definitely did not do it I had nothing to do with it the next episode We're going to cover two guys who we actually believe are very good candidates for jack the ripper The reasonable suspects is what we'll call it and you know what it comes down to it is that I want the I want this series to Be as complicated as the research. Absolutely. It's taken. I have literally read three books about jack the ripper I've also the entire mammoth book of jack the ripper. I'm reading from hell. I've watched hours of documentary footage None of it is is fixed None of it is solved. You've never looked more polish in your life

Um, so I am red and I am covered in sweat. You are Uh, remember when you guys said you were going to upload all the information? Well, you got another week to hold on to it boys I know it's I know it's not fair and I thought that I was done with it too I actually after I finished it I want to go to set this morning like all right. I walked out to my kitchen and I saw carolina and like I went and like I gave her a hug And I said darlin's over. I ain't gotta we ain't gonna do this no more We ain't I ain't gotta talk about it. You ain't gonna listen. We ain't gonna say no more darlin And now she's gonna I hope y'all like jack the ripper

Well, yep, absolutely. Um, I cannot wait like all good horror movies. This one has another ending coming Yeah, which is definitely feels like saw fight. Yeah, that's where we're at. Uh, hopefully none of us get cancer here Um, you mentioned harry potter. I hagret. Hey grit. Uh, he was also in from hell And here's the fat guy who runs on the run. Yeah from hell. Um, so thank you guys so much for listening Uh, let's see marcus. Do we want to talk about the patreon or anything like that? Yeah, I mean, we've got live shows coming up cave comedy radio.com slash live is where you get tickets We just opened up a second show for our st. Paul date Here in uh, that's coming in a couple of weeks. Uh, that's definitely gonna sell out as well

So be sure to get your tickets as soon as possible We got a ton of other shows coming if you go to cave comedy radio.com slash live these shows Do sell out but if you are a patreon subscriber at patreon.com slash last podcast on the left Even if you just give a dollar you get access to live show tickets before anybody else does So you make sure to get to see us live if you are a patreon subscriber And thanks so much to everybody who has subscribed to our patreon so far. Absolutely It means the world to us. It really does. It does. Uh, st. Paul, minnesota I have a lot of friends in st. Paul if you went to college with me at monomony stout

If I ever did anything to you when I was drunk if I let's say let your couch on fire God, you get in for free I will I will I have I have a couple of uh free spots. I'm allowed to give out We have to reach out to me even if it's been years to be like ben You did this when you were back out drunk in this home. I will say you can you can come to the show Do you mean to tell me the apology tour starts now? It is. Yes. Well, the whole thing, you know The whole life is basically an apology tour. Um, thank you guys so much. We got chicago this weekend Thank you guys so much for listening to all the shows here on ccr

Chicago make sure you check out. We're doing a special late episode of uh last stream on the left this weekend 9 p.m. Eastern standard time and what we're doing this time is because it's late for us And we have a lot of drop-in. We are doing we are doing all phone calls Yeah, that's it. So what you fucking need to do as listeners is make an instrument interesting Well, we had one guy take a bong hit and then freak out because he thought the cops were Oh, I hope we harshed his buzz. No, I want you to fucking call in and ludicrous ideas if you have things you want to pitch to us if you have theories you want to talk about if you are If you're trapped in a loveless relationship, give us a call and make it interesting

Yeah, or if you are trapped in somebody's basement or and during desperate need of help Call the police Don't call us. No, no, no, don't call us. Yeah, that's a good point. I guess we couldn't help them Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. You want to seek help? Um, well, thanks so much for listening to all the shows here at ccr page seven sex of the human activities round table of gentlemen Uh, abling's top hat has been absolutely wonderful as well. We're doing uh, email me. I'm doing some uh, a special Dumpster fire chats a little episode here as the whole world burns in front of our eyes We're gonna get through it together and uh, you can find let's do twitter

Yeah, marcus parks on twitter and marcus parks instagram and marcus parks. I'm ben kissle on twitter ben kissle one on instagram I've been using it more and he has been I have been he has been but then I got a I was criticized on twitter someone said he really found out how to use instagram sensory overload I'm like, what is happening? Let him just like enjoy yourself. You don't express yourself kissle. Thank you I'm at henry loves you on twitter at dr. Fantasy on instagram. I know and we Dr. Fantastic and then find um all of us at lp on the left on all platforms that you can fucking Shove into your mouth get off facebook though. I know we're supposed to push the facebook group and of course

Absolutely, join the facebook group, but get off facebook because they know every single thing about you Yeah, I like the just one-on-one interaction with twitter and i'm learning instagram So that's my personal totally and I'm at marcus parks for everything and my favorite social thing is to make playlist for people So go follow me on spotify. I make a new playlist every week. That's amazing. Um, all right everyone. Thanks so much for listening. Inhale yourselves Hail satan inhale game Help me for my board for for my board magus delations Spanish See you