Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 287: Norwegian Black Metal Part III - This Laughable Society
Episode Date: September 21, 2017On the conclusion to our series, we cover the murder of Magne Andreassen at the hands of a boy named Faust and how the final conflict between the two leaders of the Norwegian Black Metal scene ended i...n a pool of blood on the floor of an apartment building in Oslo. This House Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/
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There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left
That's when the cannibalism started
Now the first one is good though, I stand by the first one. I mean, it's a total ripoff of the invisibles
But everything's a ripoff of something Shakespeare stole from the Romans, but who did the Romans steal from they stole Jesus's life
Jesus Mary Jesus Christ
And then who was there for Jesus? Hey guys, it's been funny and all and stuff
But like we don't have to actually nail me to this thing
You guys are being really funny, all right, but stop it with okay with the spear, okay?
Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone. I am Ben kissle. I'm staring at Marcus Park staring intently staring intense
Your teeth are looking great Marcus. Thank you very much. The line is working slowly, but surely I actually see the change
I really do it's weird, right? Yep. And then of course we got Henry Zabrowski over there
You sound like a man who just has been staring at trees during September. Oh, I wish I see it. Yeah
Yeah
Yeah fully ejectspert Ben kissle, which just means it's just being an outside drunk
I can't wait and tell my fifties if I make it or maybe that's more of a sixties thing. I'm not quite sure
Yeah, well it depends on how fast you give up. That's true. All right
Well, we're on to Norwegian black metal part three and the church burnings there. They're happening. They happened and now we're on
a murder
When we last left the black metal scene the competition of evil had already begun with church burnings happening across the country
And it was only a matter of time before that quest for evil would lead to murder
And finally the quest for evil has arrived here in my bathroom as you can see what I've done is I've taken the cops off of all the
tooth
The dried
Exterior of the toothpaste will not allow the luscious liquid toothpaste ever to hit the brush of my
roommates. Oh my goodness. I remember when MTV's real world had real problems like that
Yeah, remember that and lead to murder. It did whoa in August of 1992 when bear of the iPhone
aka Faust stabbed a stranger to death in Lili hammer Norway
Now Baird or Bard or Bjord or I don't know or how half these names are pronounced
He his name is Faust, which is a cool name. Yeah evil doctor made a deal with the devil's bucket super metal
but Bard himself was maybe
75 pounds
And he had that thing that I cannot stand it's a hipster thing now too with the wispy
Like armpit hair hanging out of really thin arms. Yeah, we're in a tank top
It really just makes me sick to my stomach
Why because they have nice bodies with good no luscious armpit hair
No, he looks like Ichabod Crane and he's got that like sickly like I'm living in a shanty town in
Central Africa body where and it's just that it's the the scarecrow fingers
For armpit hair, I'm jealous of that. I am jealous of that body though. Oh, that's my body
Now Faust as I suppose will call him as we can't really pronounce these Norwegian names was a drummer for the extremely
Influential black metal band Emperor signed at the time to Euronymous's deathlike silence productions as well as being a part of the so-called
Norwegian black circle, so he's on the way up. He's doing very well in the community
He's doing well in the community and a couple of the other guys from Emperor were very active in the church burning
Okay, now Faust also published a fanzine dedicated to black metal called or crustis
Which somehow translates to the inner circle of hell where Lucifer resides on his throne
So it's Lucifer's bathroom. Oh, I see yeah or crustis just sounds like a horrible pizza place
It's all vegan no cheese at all. It's like you can have or crustis or crustis
That's all we have is crustis like it sounds like the thing like after sex
When you pee and it just comes out in the two string the two separate streams
Oh, yes, so in August of 1992 Faust was in Lili hammer visiting his mother for the weekend. Excuse me, everybody
I know you will miss me. I'm sorry. I'm missing rehearsals and visiting my mother
But I will make sure that it is the most evil trip to see my mother
Black metal visit ever I don't know about you shvon, but Faust is getting cooler and cooler
So Faust was out having a drink, but he left the bar stone sober because in his words quote
The atmosphere didn't suit me. Oh, you can't have a drink because the atmosphere didn't suit him
No, the atmosphere did not suit him. So he had to go home. You got to have a drink to suit the atmosphere
You left your mother's house to go get a drink like I don't understand like you left you left the bad part
Go to the good part. So what is it? The atmosphere just didn't have enough rotting corpses. I guess so
After leaving the bar Faust decided to walk through a park that had been constructed for the upcoming 1994 winter Olympics
Oxana by Yule. Yes, I remember the sexual awakening of many of us. Well, this was was this the caragin Olympics
Actually, it was the caragin Olympics 1994. Well in that park a man named Magna Andresen
Approached Faust asking for a light even though Magna was already smoking
A Budweiser frog outside the bar
Now it was obvious that Magna was cruising for a little action
Oh, but instead of politely declining and moving on Faust decided then and there spur of the moment that he was gonna kill
This man. Oh my well Magna asked Faust if you wanted to leave the park and go up into the woods together
They walked together into the forest for a while until Faust decided the time was right
I love that this guy's courting habits were the same as Chickatello's
I'll ask him to go to the woods with me. Nothing could go wrong
Or Faust later said I don't really remember what I was thinking
But at least I know if I didn't do it now, I would not get another opportunity
The way that you do it, I feel like you should be throwing spaghetti in the air
Just very chef-like
So as Magna was walking behind Faust and talking Faust pulled out the folding knife
He always kept in his back pocket turned around and stabbed Magna in the stomach
Magna fell to his knees and Faust continued stabbing him in the neck and face
And when Magna finally fell to the ground Faust continued stabbing him in the back
Sticking the knife so hard between Magna's shoulder blades that Faust had to brace his foot against the body to get it out again
After pulling out the knife Faust started to walk away
But heard Magna making noises like he was still alive
Faust walked back and kicked Magna's head in later saying I didn't want him to manage to live through this and go to the
Hospital and report me. It was easier to take his life and then go and hope that everything would be okay
Man
Meanwhile, there's a micolo, but a really nice TGI Fridays with his name on it
And he could have just sat at a damn bar and had a drink instead. He killed a poor man
He could have been wind and dined. Yeah, he is 20 years old Faust has nothing Faust is a Faust is a garbage person
Yeah, he met an upwardly mobile gentleman that just so happened to want to have a tussle in the bushes
Right, which I think is a thing people find that romantic sure. I don't only because I hate leaves
Well, that's good to your body. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not into that. So it's like I find it romantic. Do you? Yes
So you guys you can listen to sex and other human activities on last podcast network for more insight into the romantic
Leading of Marcus Parks. Do you guys leave your apartment to go out into the streets of Green Point to have sex?
No, you don't do it in the city. I don't think he's referencing
No, there's no romance there. There's no romance there and not really in Prospect Park either because you know
There's kids there and you can't go to Central Park to the brambles because that's where the Cruisin happens
You've thought about it. The homeless gay men already have that all staked out. We can't use that
Do the brambles have like a no-breeder sign? Well, it's under. Can you not it's understood? Ah
It's an under that's just that that's something in New York City you understand if you ever walked through the brambles before
I know I don't know what a bramble is. I know there's a drink called the bramble
Yeah, brambles is a part of Central Park where lots of gay sex happens. Okay. We gotta have a little fun
Yeah, you got to leave a lot of clearance for your feet
You got to really lift your knees when you're walking through there because you don't like you just want to make sure you
Don't accidentally step on a honeymoon. Well, all in all foul stabbed his victim 37 times
Oh, the body was found two days later by a schoolgirl jogging in the area
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just see like that's my problem those that in in these areas
I just imagine like a very
well set
Woman in a leader hose and dress with a beer stein on her head
Yeah, and the pigtails. I mean, you know, it's the old cliche. Why jog why just gonna find a body
But has a has a person skip you never found a body have a little more fun with it
Well the day after the murder Faust returned to Oslo where he joined Varg and possibly
Euronymous depending on who you talk to and burned down
Hulmin colon church this guy is having a busy 48 hours for a black metal star man technically
It's called a black metal bot mitzvah. It's what he just did
I said he he it was true
He hit it all in once because what he said was that he went to go hang out immediately started bragging about what he did
And then the two of them said do you want to come on this church burning with us?
And he just straight up said was like well, I've already killed someone I might as well Björn a church
And horrible people
Yeah, and the night after that the night after the church burning Faust was watching TV
When he found that he was directly responsible for both the lead and the follow-up stories on the national news
Which nobody had linked at the time so but they didn't realize it was him that the stories
We're just out there. They had no idea
They knew that the church burnings were a block pretty much a but they knew that they it was a black metal thing
But with Magna and Dracen that was just a complete and total unsolved murder, okay?
And when Faust was asked if Magna being gay had anything to do with the murder Faust said I don't like it when you're trying to get people who aren't
Homosexual it's okay if they want to be homosexuals, but at least they must stay with their own people
This guy is dressed like Avril Lavigne on a bad day
Yes after being buried in the ground for three days, and he has the audacity to judge others
It's really incredible how judgmental they are extreme
I mean their whole thing is based on being judgmental because these guys are very biblical
But I thought they were all testament biblical. Yeah, no, it's the opposite. They are hardcore us versus them
It's the same thing as like the bad it's the bad side of any would become sort of like a cult like mentality
Is that he they believe it's us versus them?
And they say they're also kind of sounds like if he didn't kill him that they might have fallen in love with each other
Yeah, that's a bit of that in there as well. Well, that's what Faust is
He's one of those homophobes that as long as gays are on the other side of the room
He can keep that hatred and homophobia at bay, but as soon as a gay person talks to him
He starts feeling all weird inside he freaks out and it comes out in extreme violence
My in other words, he's one of those guys with the feelings that are strongest. Yes, exactly now the night of the murder Faust
Immediately called Uranimus to tell him all about the murder and
Uranimus told Varg and Varg use it as currency to show how cool and evil the scene was when he was talking to girls
It's like that sleepover game that used to be advertised when we were a kid where it's like you call the girls up on the
Telephone and they're all like what say it again Brad did what and they're calling the telephone cord on their finger back and forth
Just kicking their feet up beating marshmallows in bed man. It's a 90s flashback week for me
I watched goosebumps yesterday as well. Oh, how was that? It's horrifying. It's great stuff
Is it just you with your suit jacket on and no clothes underneath that just is drinking it's no clothes at all my friends
No clothes at all at home for me
Well, not only did this murder and the subsequent church burning give the scene a bit of social currency
It also gave the scene more confidence in their actions
Oh my god
As not only had they gotten away with dozens of arson's including one that had resulted in the accidental death of a firefighter
But one of them had now gotten away with murder and topped it off with another church burning. Hmm all consequence free. Oh
Up to this point. I would assume some consequences must be coming. All right, but just like the doomsday machine and Dr. Strangelove
There's no point to any of this if you keep it a secret. Ah
So Varg gave an anonymous interview to the big and stood in a
Newspaper what was that big and stood in a the big and tight big and tight in a are you sure this isn't a trucker magazine?
What's what's going on? I don't know how that's pronounced. No idea. I think big and tight in a D
Today, it's a newspaper in any case. It's a newspaper
He gave the interview in January of 1993 and this is the interview that Varg refers to as the media event
Go fuck yourself
Honestly, it's this whole thing where he says he did this on purpose and this is carefully constructed
No, it may actually be I think it kind of is but it's the way that the the media was manipulated just so easily
It's because the past the story was just handed to that. Yes, exactly. So they just ran with it. It's such a perfect media story
It's a great media especially in the 90s
Like you know, you've got the whole satanic panic thing going on in the in America
And then all of a sudden Norway has their very own satanic panic
They have their very own huge crime story to cover and people ate it up
They could not get enough of it. It's innocent times man. The bad simpler days the fun days man
Yeah, you got religion. You got church burning. You got murder. You got it all. Yeah music
Is that what that song's about?
Now Varg who it must be remembered still went by count grishnack in casual conversation
Casual conversation. Hello count. Oh, this is my friend count grishnack. Hello grishnack. It's very nice to meet you
We think the pronouns are difficult now imagine if everyone was going by count whenever they wanted to I did not go to 12 years of fake
Royalty school to be called grishnack. I'm sorry. I didn't I apologize count
I put myself through several yearly exams. I wrote a thesis. I
Put I went on summer vacation where I met a girl while working at an ice cream van
I saw that I did that I was still yes
And that was then loosely based on the movie once bitten was loosely based on my story then
Well, I graduated. Yeah, I stopped being grishnack. All right your account. Can you just pay for this coffee and get out of this gas station?
I have no money. Oh
You just take the coffee
Well, this was an anonymous interview that he did but he openly said he knew who had burned the churches saying that they were
Quote showing
Oathen to the people
Oathen Elden
Oh, it's it's oh, I see there are 20 different pronunciations for Odin
Woden and guess what and he's in each one of them. It's like Sub-Zero
Like desert open. It's a pterodactyl open. It's half of bus transformer. Oh, that's cool. I like Woden
Yeah, oh, I like my favorite that well, of course, that's the German way is Satan. Oh, is that right? Yeah, right on brand
Odin is also a really great cum sentence
Or if you want to freeze your enemy except it's pronounced voting
Yeah, but in the German way vote, but that's some of that cultural memory
We were talking about in the last episode the Carl Jung cultural memory you have that then you were immediately drawn to that
We've never talked about this. Kissal has the power of the runes deep within his blood
Kissal is born with real at his fingertips. I'm gonna start summoning it. You guys better watch out
Yeah, you're the only one man. Yeah, I've only got like English and French energy a little bit of Native American voting
Well Varg was also quoted as saying that one of the churches that was burned on Christmas Eve was burned not because of the day
But because the black meddlers had heard the word peaceful said on TV and I got all mad about the quote-unquote
righteousness in society
So this is when Varg becomes the penguin
They are a D-bags
Well Varg says that a lot of the things printed in this article and for that matter many of the things printed in lords
It lords of chaos are complete and told lies and there are probably
Probably some exaggerations here and there. Oh, I'm sure but the thing is a lot of the things Varg said in the interview
We're confirmed. So it's hard to say what's true and what's not. Yeah
Now they may not have burned the church because someone said the word peaceful
But this is the interview in which he mentioned the bunny chase that we talked about in the last episode and a
Decapitated bunny was indeed found at Fenthoff to church
But later the the autopsies reveal that it was a suicide of the bunny. Oh, we got a we got to increase the bunny's lifestyle
Yes, plus some of the quotes do sound a hell of a lot like the self-serious bullshit Varg likes to spout to this day such as
It's not good for us to laugh. We have nothing to laugh at in this laughable society
Well, then you got something to laugh at exactly to laugh society. I don't know
But you think about this, right? So now it's a it's obviously a chicken-and-egg scenario
He now made the media event to tie the black metal scene to the crimes
Which then causes heat to show up and investigate everyone which and also creates an impetus for everybody to make the fiction real
So what he did was sort of in a way
He just did the thing well like now we have to walk the walk because if we don't we look like a bunch of hypocrites
And I am actually the big fat dumbass loser that I sound like right are they performing ever?
Yeah, they're okay. They are all right
Well Varg but doesn't do many live performances because it's just it's a one-man band
So it's very tough for him to do a one-man person show even mayhem only they didn't do very many performances at all with the original line
Up so these guys are playing shows like I think like emperor and dark throne. We're playing like a ton of shows
Okay, but we'll get into what Varg is really all about or at least what I think Varg is really all about
So after the interview Varg gave the whole thing one more good kick in the ass
publicity-wise and used a picture of one of the burned
Churches as the cover for the second person release and he called it us which is Norwegian for ashes
And the EP hadn't been released yet
But Varg had been handing out flyers for it with his address clearly printed on the flyer exactly it's like if O.J.
Simpson had taken a picture of his bloody hands after murdering the two of them and like put out our like some kind of spoken word album called like
Look how big these hands are wonder if gloves fit them
Yeah, you know if you could see my wounds there on the inside and on Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman
Well cops put two and two together went to the address and arrested Varg for arson. Hmm
And he was put in prison from January to March of 1993
But he was set free as they couldn't actually prove he was doing anything more than just talking shit and Varg knew that
Hmm now this whole thing from interview to arrest accomplished exactly what Varg wanted to it boosted him
Both as a figure and the scene and in the national Norwegian media and it juiced the hell out of the whole black metal scene
And if you get famous in the national Norwegian media, we're talking hundreds of
Hundreds of people. Do you have any idea how many I think it's Rickles. What's the name of their money?
It's like it's like it's like squackles. It's a weird name
But you'll be you'll have up to tens of those whatever that is and you'll have any any fjord
I don't know what that is. I think it's a type of of shirt. It's like a shirt skirt
They wear you have any sort of tears. Oh, which is like I think is some sort of sandal shoe
It's all of this. They're all combo clothes cool kind of selling it there
The things were reaching a fever pitch and it was only a matter of time before something really big happen
And that's already had church burnings and murder. That's not big enough for these guys. No, we're no really
Okay, wow, and that's something would not involve anyone on the outside
But rather it would happen from within with the murder of how is it?
Aston urseth Aston off arseth
Aston our
John Thompson can we just call him John Thompson from here on out? Anyways, that's your honor. This is real name
It's spelled oisten arseth, but yeah, it's oisten arthas. It's an Erkin Aston
Arseth
Well done
Now as we said last episode
Bursam Varg's one-man band had signed to Deathlike Silence Productions, which was the record label that Euronymous owned and operated
Badly, can you imagine how sad it would be to just watch a Varg?
Like with the guitar on a stand like we showed last night on the stream
It's a guitar on a stand him try to play guitar running back to the boom
Like doing like wait a minute wait a minute going up and hitting like the the beats machine
So it's been like do-do-do-do better and then him screaming or like doing that thing where you build the layers with the machine
Where you play one layer and then click the next thing you build the layers. That's that is how he I'm I'd assume
That's how we record all the Bursam albums. I don't think he ran from one. I like Henry's idea better though
Or an actual an actual one-man band with this gigantic apparatus. He's playing everything all at once
It'd be so fun to see this is how I get my steps in also
It's it doesn't that happen all time in the street in the Europe with the one-man band
Oh, yeah, like it's a it's an actual that's hope that is an actual band to have as if you have symbols between your knees
Yep, there's a Polish fellow off the Bedford stop in Lorimer that has he's got the toes tapping
He's got the knees going. He's got a guitar. He's got something going on with his head. I love one-man bands
He's a great guy. I love him so much. I'm one of my favorite compilations in the world
It's called attack of the one-man bands if you can find it
You like rockabilly type of stuff. Go check it out Wow now the recording of the first Bursam album was paid for by Count Grishnack's mother
Who Euronymous was supposed to reimburse from album sales and he never did nor did he pay any royalties for that album or?
The Esca EP this poor mother if you think Vargas a pain in the ass. What is mom Varg?
I think she's gonna be like
So desperately trying to forget that her son is a loser from what Varg says
She supports him wholeheartedly in his racial opinions. Oh, I see. Yes. Yes, and she's very it's alternative
She's a she's an alternative mother. I see but Euronymous had more problems than just royalties
He was also in a bit of a tiff with a number of bands from the Swedish black metal scene
After he mockingly called the band's theory on and afflicted quote-unquote
life metal in an interview
Oh my god, I gotta see it's like saying it's like having a review that's like it more like shit. Yeah
Yeah, life metal. Ooh that cuts deep. He did however have very nice things to say about Marduk. Oh, oh very nice
Yeah, and Marduk is a fantastic band. Well, probably the best Swedish black metal band out there. Okay. Yeah
I mean they're differing opinions, but that is the prevailing opinion. Oh
Furthermore Varg's interview had brought so much negative press on the black metal scene that Helvetta
Euronymous says record shop that was paid for by his parents was shut down on the directive of said parents
No, you can't shut down my record shop mom. That's where all my evil is
Oh, wait a second. I just got I got all of these kebab stains on my belly button. I need to start wearing full shirts
Trust funds they're funny
Those kids are a funny bunch. Well, it's like all of the around me in Brooklyn is all like the one-stop shops where it's called like
Victorious and it's got three shirts. Oh, yeah hangers in there and there's nothing else in there
And it's obviously just made by someone's parents's cash, and then it's closed in two months
Yep, I walked into a store in Williamsburg recently and they laughed me out of the building like legitimately
We're just like we don't have your son. What are you get out? And I just kind of left. Yes. It's the other clothes together
I'm here to spend my money. I think you start being like you start immediately turning like a senator certain screaming
That's what I do. Oh, yeah, tell me they don't have clothes for me and this being like I'm here to spend my hard-earned cash
Well, so Euronymous he's fighting with the Swedes
He's got me all the bands are screaming at him about royalties. His parents have made him close down his precious record store
Yeah, I mean he's losing control here. He is fighting with all the neutral countries
Because they're not fighting wars. That's true. That's a good point
I also wonder do you think it's kind of like Tony Soprano right where he's got he's got like it's he's getting leaks in the ship
Yeah, sure starting to like circle all around him. So now he's starting to do the thing where he is going to try and build a
Another narrative where he is going to try because that's what I'm talking about
He's heavily talking shit about the other members of mayhem. He's talking shit about everybody
He is now I imagine throwing out death threats back and forth now that someone is dead because I'm just set
Is that now this man is like alone on a sinking boat and he needs to get the Charles Manson control of the group again
Yeah, he's like a little gossip columnist. Well, I think I think it's a little I don't know if it's that cynical with your anonymous
I think with your anonymous
He had been more of a leader on the actual music side because he was the guy that was releasing albums
He was running the record store to sell those albums no matter how bad he was at it
He was still putting off the music so the murders and the church burnings. That's just that's just a side dish
You're on a mess had nothing to do with that
It was a distraction distraction, but he was trying to use it. Yeah, like he was trying to use it, but he was just so stupid
He was just so stupid and he can't run a business. He's a musician. He just should be in charge of the record store
He was an amazing musician like he was a fantastic musician, but yeah
I mean usually musicians do not make good business men different skill sets. Sometimes they do a lot of de-sneider
Yeah, then you also have to be 100% sober. Yeah
By the way, do not watch the Twisted Sister documentary. It is so awful
You have to be completely sober to be a good musician and a businessman and none of them are
It's like the three of us talking when we have our business talks
Oh, yeah, we're stuff. We're like, you know, I mean really the big thing is that we just got a chart up
Yeah, I'm like what guys no matter what's happening. I am tapping this keg. So let's do that business men business men business
We sniff cards like we're kids in the hall. Well your anonymous you like to talk a big game about evil and such
But from what I can tell the black metal scene for him was about just that black metal
And even in interviews when he talks about evil it all just seems forced. Yes, I doubt that he is
He's a poser. He just cares about the music. Yeah, he just wanted to make good albums
He liked the philosophy about it, but mostly he was
But again, that's why I'm saying it's like he was trying to he was seeing himself lose control
Over the people that because that's how he would have controls that he'd hold court at the record store
And he would have all of these like he had all lines of communication running through him
He had his basement where like people from out of town would stay
So it was this great hub of of the whole scene that he was in charge of and but in the end
It was just about a music but the problem is that he was up against essentially Varg who
Was now taking it to a terrorist level where it was past the music. Yeah, exactly
Like your anonymous was all about the music
But that was not so for Varg beacons for Count Grishnak this shit was and still is very real and
More about the ideas, huh?
Then it was about the music and that doesn't discount Bersam as a bad nor as an influence no matter how big of a dickhead Varg is
Those first two albums are landmarks
It's like we said with about Jerry Lee Lewis just because he married his underage cousin doesn't mean he's not important to the history of rock and roll
There we go. Everybody has their peccadillos. Everybody has their peccadillos. Yeah, you remember Chuck Berry like to I remember the old Chuck Berry
We we did say in Lewis before we performed at the one of his famous bars blueberry Hill
Yeah, blueberry Hill. Yeah, just cuz Chuck Berry liked to film women being in his
Mean the Chuck Berry is not one of the fathers of rock and roll music
And also great chicken in that restaurant. Yeah, it was a nice restaurant
But I just don't you could have paid him to pee on you
Yeah, there's a series of mistakes that Chuck Berry made and now yeah
He is he's gone and we did make fun of him to the point where we possibly did maybe we were complicit
Yeah, we're not defending any of these guys of course we're not defending any of their actions
But you can't deny that their music their art did have a huge effect on everything that came out of course
Look at Woody Allen or Tom Cruise. Yeah to separate the artists from the art. Yeah, sure
I'm actually upset. I want to see that the movie Tom Cruise is in right now, but I can't look at him
Yeah, I can't do it. You just can't look at Tom Krueger made me. Yeah sucks
Yeah, but it seems to me that for Varg the ideas and principles come first and the music comes second and
Euronymous and Varg they fucking hated each other by the end according to Varg a lot of other people in the scene
Hated Euronymous as well. Although again Varg is an unreliable source. This is what he said about that
Dark throne realize what a jerk he was they didn't want anything to do with him
Fenris liked Austin
I Aston
Is it? Oh, is it Aston?
Oh, I see even I have a hard time with it, but the other guys they hated him they cursed him in rituals. They were Satanists
That's how they show how they hate me. I just wrote Euronymous sucks big ones
That was my grass. That's brutal
But I think a lot of it had to do with money
The reason why everybody else hated him is because he wasn't paying anybody. Yeah, he fucked up the whole business
He couldn't get reprints of Bersam
That's kind of what the the the big fight that happened to in Varg and Euronymous is that that Bersam the second album sold out really fast
But your Euronymous could not afford the second rollout of records and Varg was already in with him for money
Couldn't get his royalties paid out. So he's getting he's getting madder and madder
I think that Varg also because he didn't get the stature that he wanted in the scene because I honestly think in the end
Euronymous genuinely didn't really care about his his position
It happened naturally and then he was trying to maintain it where Varg was he wanted what Euronymous had because he thought
He was actually more hardcore because he was he's gonna do we took are gonna find out
He was the real hardcore one and when he didn't get it
He immediately like like in a way that happens with like easily bored
Pieces of shit where he's just like well, I'm done with the scene like I'm out
I'm out with this and that's why in the end now his music's all Norse EDM
Oh, it's not even Matt. It's not even that. It's God. It's off. It's not Norse EDM
We'll get into Persum's recent stuff later
All right now Faust said that Varg was quote-unquote very much into making war with Euronymous
That he didn't like him anymore because he wasn't true enough and he wasn't paying royalties, which he wasn't that's the big issue
Yeah, that's the big issue
Yeah, but also in the opinion of Faust Varg didn't like Euronymous because Euronymous got more attention
Within the scene itself Varg may have been the poster boy to the squares
But in the scene Euronymous was still the guy. Yeah, because no matter what because he was pissed off
Like a lot of the musicians were pissed off at Euronymous, but the fans
Loved Euronymous still and they went to the record shop and everything right to the record shop like your hub
Yeah, to them like Euronymous was the guy
Yeah, it's like Euronymous is Kevin Hart and Varg is Hilary Clinton
And send your theories to us on Twitter at Ben Kissel Henry loves you and Marcus Parks
Off
For Euronymous's part it seems like he was a lot more worried about the Swedes than he was about Count Grishnak
Hmm, but on the night of August 10th 1993
Euronymous would find out who his true enemy really was
Now there are three versions of what happened that night. It's like the movie Clue
But actually but here's with an oom blout
There's Varg's version the version of the guy who was with Varg and the official version
Varg's version begins with a call from Samoth of the band Emperor
Allegedly Samoth told Varg that Euronymous had told him that he was planning to kill Varg by zapping him with a stun gun
Tying him up and torturing him to death. No, you need to say it the proper Norwegian way, which is electronic shock pistol
Which is what Varg calls it again and again
Okay
Now Varg would have brushed this off as Euronymous just talking shit again
But Samoth was supposedly the only person Euronymous had said this to well
We'll get into this. I'll attack this whole theory only because it's like they all issue death threats against everyone
That is how they all spoke to each other. That's very difficult. He's not Catwoman. I mean how powerful is this taser?
Sinister six
A bunch of supervillains all like
Just a bunch of broke right 21 year olds in the basement of a stinky record shop
Extremely intoxicated. Well Varg reason that if Euronymous wasn't being serious
He'd tell everybody as he was known to do but since the Euronymous only told one person
It was more likely that he was serious about his threat. You see what I'm saying here
He told one trustworthy black metal enthusiast in no way are they gonna gossip? No, no
Lock box, Al Gore, lock box, lock it in
What a fucking nest of hens
Well that's the irony about all of this
And that's what Varg said, he said like Euronymous of course he told Samoth but of course Samoth reported directly to me
So I found out about to meet him
Reported directly to him huh?
Chelsea and Barbara in the office
Desperate house dweeps this is unbelievable
Desperate house dweeps
Well and not only had Euronymous told Samoth that he was gonna kill Varg
Euronymous had also just sent Varg a very nice letter
Now we don't know the exact contents but Varg described it as quote
Sweet pink and cozy
And this naturally made him even more suspicious
Would you believe every eye had a heart above it and every J lowercase that is like in Yerg or in Jark or in Kierg or in Jark
Everything begins with three J's
Each one had a heart over it and I'm like what are we doing trying to seduce me then come over here and kiss me then
You sweet fucker always holding out
Love could be in the air
So on August 10th 1993 Varg drove from Bergen to Oslo to according to him confront Euronymous about the threats
And he was joined by a guy named Snorri Ruch
What was that? Snorri Ruch
It's probably Snorri Ruch
He is the dwarf that keeps all the rest of them awake at night
I see
I think he's dressed like a furry right
He would have to be
Snorri Ruch
Snorri Ruch
But we'll call him by his alias
Blackthorn
That's cool
Now you say that Varg drove
Varg was driven by Snorri
He called up Snorri
He said drive me to Euronymous's house
And he has all of these little bitches that are like yep
And they came and Varg hid in the back seat with a blanket over him
Because he said that he was too famous in Norway
And that if he's seen he would cause a commotion
Of course I heard about that
Well actually he does make a good point with that
Because he was a national figure at this point
Because he had been arrested for all the church burnings
And people were talking about him constantly
So his mug shots were on the TV
Stuff like that
Oh yeah everyone knew what he looked like
So Blackthorn had just joined Mayhem
Or Snorri, excuse me, had just joined Mayhem
Which was Euronymous's band
Now his part in the story is pretty fuzzy
And although there is some evidence that says he may have known what was going to happen
It seems to me like he might have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time
He was just, as Henry said, he was just doing what Varg was telling him to do
I see
So Varg showed up at Euronymous's house in the middle of the night
And rang the doorbell
And let him in and Varg walked up to Euronymous's fourth floor apartment
While Snorri stood outside having a smoke
Now Euronymous issued a death threat to you
He then allows you to just walk into his house
He answers the door in his whitey tighties
Which are Norwegian so you know that they're covered in urn stains
Oh sure
What are you going to do? You got to let him in
The only two people who know what really happened once Varg got into the apartment
Are Varg and Euronymous
But according to Varg, Euronymous, still in his underwear, panicked when Varg confronted him
And kicked Varg in the chest
I'm kicking you
I'm going kicking and blast
It's like a street fighter
So if there is like a tale of the tape, what are we talking here?
Both 5'7", 115 pounds, reach about 25 inches
I actually have no idea what their sizes are
I think Varg is actually a fairly tall guy
Is he a taller guy?
It seems like he is
I think he's a taller guy, they're both like gas station attendant fit
My size
You know what I mean? They could wrestle a homeless man
But only if the homeless man is too drunk to fight
I see, alright
Now Varg said Euronymous ran to the kitchen to grab a knife
So Varg pulled his knife and stabbed Euronymous before he could get there
Euronymous then allegedly ran towards his room where Varg said he kept the shotgun the dead had killed himself with
Doesn't know if that's real or not, he did not know if that was true or not
But what he said is that if it was true, he had to defend himself
But Varg managed to chase Euronymous out of the apartment
Who was screaming for help and ringing the doorbells of all his neighbors
Which gave Varg complete contempt because he died like a coward
Like a coward who goes screaming and running like a little girl
It's like you stabbing him
Yeah, you are stabbing him
You're stabbing him, he's in his underwear, it's 3 in the morning
He doesn't know what the fuck's going on
He's wearing his cool I-heart Transylvania shirt
Well Varg said that since he was now absolutely convinced that Euronymous had been planning to kill him
Varg decided to end it right then and there
And as Euronymous was running down the stairs Varg stabbed him in the back again and again
Euronymous fell and Varg delivered the killing blow by stabbing him in the skull hard enough to make the knife stick
Whoa, geez, that is not easy to do
That is not easy to do at all
No, you have to be very mad at someone
That is a fatality there
Oh my goodness
But I don't know if he's telling the truth on that
Because the coroner's report says that Euronymous was stabbed 23 times
And they list the official cause of death as blood loss
Varg is the only one who says that he stabbed Euronymous in the skull so hard the knife stuck
No one else says that
Nothing Varg says is true
I am now convinced
I've listened to him tell the story four or five times
He does it again and again in his YouTube page
And he did it in the documentary
And I think he is full of shit
I think that he panicked and was just stabbing him, stabbing him, stabbing him
And then he died at the bottom of those stairs
Well, Snory was just outside, just been like, oh, oh
Still smoking the world's longest cigarette apparently
I don't know what's going on with that guy
Yeah, it was a 500
Yeah, light it with a torch or something
Now it may have happened that way
It may have been self-defense, but there is a mountain of evidence to the contrary
That says this was a premeditated act through and through
Now according to the official court documents, there was a third accomplice in all of this
Just before Snory and Varg left big and for Oslo, they set up an alibi
First, they rented a movie, one they had already seen
So they could describe the plot to police later
And apparently it was Mrs. Doubtfire because according to them
Is that, I mean, if you rented it, how could you not stay at home and watch it?
I agree, he just wants his children back
And then actually it's a very creepy film
And Acronism, Mrs. Doubtfire was not released yet
1993
Oh, in Acronism
No
Wow, wowza
Wait, what year was Mrs. Doubtfire?
93
I don't know about that
Oh, it might not have been on video, God, it was 93
Okay, it was on video
I don't know if it was on video yet, because this whole thing happened in August
And I'm pretty sure Mrs. Doubtfire was a summer video
And it takes a long time for videos back then in the nineties
Back then in the nineties, it took a long time for a video to be released in other countries
As opposed to America
Harvey Fierstein, he was very clever
Well let the listeners figure this one out
They can figure that out, but my...
At Marcus Parks, at Henry Loves You
I call an Acronism
Wow, I will decide the truth on that
Well, after they rented the video, they left an ATM card with the third accomplice
Who was supposed to take out some cash in the middle of the night to make it look like Farg was still in Bergen
Unfortunately, they left the wrong card
So that part of the plan fell apart
So fucking stupid
And if Farg also brought with him a contract that would have released Bersam from Deathlike Silence Productions
Because that was his whole...
His whole reasoning was saying, I went to Uranimus's apartment to hand deliver this contract
To throw it in his face so that he could see that Bersam had left
And Uranimus tried to murder me
Which is garbage
They had been barely talking
It was already happening where it was like, Uranimus was trying to reel him back in
Because he wanted Bersam on the label
Because he loved Bersam, he loved the band
And technically had a lot of weird love for Farg
But Farg just rejected him completely
And so he just thought he had built the solid thing
When in reality it was fucking a Cone Brothers movie
Where everybody's a moron
But he fucked it up completely
Oh my goodness, he used his head like a butcher block
That is horrible stuff here
If he did it
Like that
The whole thing with the contract story said
That if Farg dropped off the contract with Uranimus releasing Bersam
Then everybody would think that everything was hunky dory between them
There would be no reason for Farg to kill Uranimus
And according to the story, that's exactly what Farg told Uranimus the visit was for
Through the intercom when Farg was trying to get into Uranimus's building
Because Uranimus did not want to let Farg in
Yeah, yeah, shouldn't have let him in there
Yeah, of course not
No, it's 3 AM, somebody has just driven 12 hours to come see you in the middle of the night
Why are you gonna let him in the house?
He's like, I just went to bed, come back in the morning
And then Farg was insistent and Uranimus let him in
And for some reason when Snorri retells the story, he only refers to Farg as the Count
Oh god, all of these people reminds me of high school when we used to play D&D
And then we used to call each other by the names of our characters
Ugh, god, really?
Wait a second, what?
Like in public, in school?
Outside of the D&D game?
Yeah, my name was Ignatius Nostradamus because I was an elf wizard
I was a chaotic good elf wizard
Wow, wow, seven years to get that piece of information out
Wow, that is
What was Ignatius, what was that name?
Ignatius Nostradamus
Ignatius Nostradamus
Yeah, it was cool, and I had control of fire
Stu, is that Stu?
So you were a pyromancer as well
Yes, thank you Marcus for using the proper term
Wow
Hey, if he's gonna be nerdy, you better be nerdy right
Oh, absolutely, get into it
Well Snorri said the Count had brought gloves with him as well
But he forgot to wear them
Which is what Varg tried to use as a reason why he was not a premeditated Murray
It's like, well I had shooting gloves on me, I would have used my shooting gloves
Which is the dumbest shit I've ever heard
That you even need to bring shooting gloves for your stuff, whatever
But obviously his story's filled with holes
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And he says like, my story has not changed for 21 years
That's why it's true
It's like, no, you just got a good story and you stuck with it
Rolling with it, okay
Oh yeah
Well, I'll tell you what, I think I may actually have some proof of why
Euronymous let Varg into the room
Why?
There's a bit of a piece that was written online that I found
That I hear that, I mean honestly, it tells a story like pretty accurately
And I think it's pretty close to what like actually went on between the two of them
What's the name of the website that you read this on?
Read this story
Okay
Um
22 year old Varg Vikernis waits outside of Euronymous's flat and nox
Euronymous answers half naked and his face is streaked with the sweaty remnants of face paint
Expressionistic black and white geometric patterns
Which once depicted him as a demonic and diabolical internal creature
But now only serves to characterize him as a lame kiss impersonator
Varg, it's been a while
Varg, staring at his feet as he nervously scuffs the floorboards
Hi Euronymous
And yes, it's been like nine months, nothing I'm counting
Euronymous
Varg, we're friends, you can call me by my real name
I-A-Steen
I-A-Steen
I-O-O-E-Steen
Varg, finally looking into Euronymous's eyes, very sheepishly
Okay
Hi A-Steen
Euronymous
What brings you to also my comrade in evil?
Varg
Oh, you know, church burning and shit
Euronymous
Yeah, I forgot about how much of a hellraiser you are
Varg, embarrassed but flattered, doesn't realize he's blushing
As if
I'm nowhere near as evil as you
That-that-that suicide picture of your ex-vocalist
So fucking brutal
Varg, I couldn't stop thinking about you
Can I come in?
Euronymous
Can it wait? It's very late
Yeah, I know, I was just wondering if we could talk about
What happened last week
Euronymous
Last week
Yeah, oh yes, I mean, I meant nothing, we were both drunk as Varg, dude
Varg, do you really believe that?
Are you just worried about Fenris?
Of course not
Of course not, Fenris doesn't own me
Of course, I know that, I'm just worried
You haven't called me since, well, since it happened
It shouldn't have happened, it didn't mean anything
So it was all meaningless, you say
Those three hours of passionate love-making were meaningless, you say
You told me you love me
I do
I just-I don't want to be gay
But you are
Please don't be like this, I know you want to be with me
He grabbed Euros face and kissed him hard
Eurot didn't object and even let him to the bedroom
I'll be back
Now I just need to go to the bathroom
He walked out and Varg lay in his bed stripped off and waited for his lover
Varg's point of view, I lie flat on my back on the bed
In my erection, jutting out from my lower belly
I have an urgent need to touch myself, but I did not do it without master's permission
Still, one quick stroke can't hurt, right?
With this thought on my mind, I'd reached out and encircled my throbbing member with my hand
And stroking off slowly and gently
Bitch, did I tell you to masturbate?
Master's voice booms from the doorway and I drop my hand
I ask you a question, sluit!
Did I ask you to masturbate?
Oh no, master, but I was so horny
You're a whore! You're always horny!
That doesn't give you the right to touch yourself without my permission
You will be punished now! Yes, master!
I whispered, afraid, and yet arose at the same time
Master retreats into the large cupboard
In our bedroom in terms of a bag of fun gear, as he likes to call it
There's more pages of this
What on earth did we just listen to?
The Oscar goes to Henry Zabrowski
Powerful performance
Now what is- there is sexual fiction about this stuff?
Of course there is! Of course!
Of course there is! What do you mean of course there is?
Of course there is! What do you mean of course there is?
With Varg Vikernis by Livia Loves Black Metal
Okay, one time in Norway
What happened was I went to go search for Varg Vikernis
Wrote a version, like our Norwegian version of the Turner Diaries
And I went to go look for it
To like, sort of like, and that's the only thing that popped up
When I looked up Varg Vikernis fiction
I love it
Given his homophobic tendencies
It's a powerful way to combat this man
So after the murder
Varg and Snorri drove all night back to Bergen
Listening to dead condensed
So as to be as atmospheric and dramatic as possible
Oh god
Yeah, and once they were back
They returned the video
Completing their airtight alibi
Oh my- I hope they didn't spoil it for the clerk behind the desk
Being like, it's Robin Williams the whole time
No!
Yeah
No!
Sorry
Now the suspicion for the murder
Initially fell on the Swedes
That Euronymous had been feuding with at the time
And Varg fueled this theory
Telling police the Swedes were jealous
Of Norwegian black metal ideology
Which was decidedly more evil than the Swedish version
Okay
Yeah, of course it is
We just like, clocks and chocolate
Now after hitting a dead end with Varg
Police started grilling some of the black metal hangers on
Specifically a 16 year old Swedish girl
Who had briefly lived with Euronymous
She said
I do not believe that Esther was killed by Swedish Satanists
Most of the Swedes are too cowardly to ever commit a murder
I will not reveal the name of the real killer
The black metal scene will exact its own revenge against him
Sorry
Yeah, that's a good point
You don't associate Swedes with murder
Not a whole lot
Not a whole lot
The Norwegians
They have a lot more
Yeah, well, yeah
You got your Anders Brevik
Oh my goodness
Yeah, it's horrible
87 people
What about Anders?
What about Barb?
Well, everybody hates Anders
Yes, they do
But while this girl wouldn't roll over on Varg
I suppose thinking about taking revenge herself
She did finger-beared Aethon, aka Faust, for the murder of Magna Andresen
Faust was arrested a year and a week after the murder
And confessed under questioning
But there was still no evidence other than this young girl and his confession, right?
Yeah, there was no evidence, but his lawyer advised him to confess
Never confessed
You got to watch the documentary on Netflix
Have you guys seen the confession tapes yet?
Uh-uh
Very interesting
It is very good
I would like to do an episode about false confessions
I think it's really interesting
Yeah, oh, for sure, we definitely should
Now, after Faust went down, the rest of them fell like dominoes
Including Varg, who would stupidly left fingerprints all over the crime scene
He didn't wear his shooting gloves
Well, you know why he left fingerprints all over the scene?
Was because once he heard that squirting sound his master applied lube to his ten-inch-long, four-inch-thick cock
He also applied a little of my silky smooth shaven crack and pressed one finger inside of me
Wriggling it around to loosen me up
I moaned into my gag as master chuckled
You like being fingered, don't you slot, he hissed
Oh, my
Unable to respond verbally, I simply gave another muffled moan
And if you are listening and you are aroused by that, it's okay
Um, you can find it online
Plus the huge head of his uncut cock against my whole
Master Joe never was one for being chastle
What if I can't hear any more
Master gripped my narrow hips as he swam his heavy meat in and out of my asshole
We've got a sex alert going on over here, it's turning into saucy talk
No wonder he had no time to clean up the scene
My good, I guess, I get it now, yeah
There's a lot of speculation as to why Varg murdered Euronymous
We know Varg says that it was self-defense
That it was solely over royalties, but that doesn't really make sense either
Because if Varg kills Euronymous, he's not going to get any of the royalties
Maybe there was money in the house, did they try to rob the place?
No, no, no
No, of course there's not money in the house
I don't know
He's spending all his money on kebabs and soda
I'm speculating
That's the thing, in the rap world, when we originally were doing the series
We talked about the idea of East Coast vs. West Coast
At least those guys had fucking money
They were all millionaires fighting each other with armies
They had boys, they had all crew and guns and all this shit
These are just shitheads
No money in the house
Essentially, you're just outside of living in a dumpster
Maybe some egos in the freezer
The other theory is that Varg killed Euronymous for dominance over the scene
To take his place at the top of the pecking order
Personally, I think that last theory is closest
But I think there's a little more to it than that
Or a little less, depending on your point of view
This is just speculation, this is my personal opinion
But I think, after spending quite a bit of time with the words of Varg
Weakerness over the last few weeks
That the most important thing in the world to Varg is how he sees himself
That's why he killed Euronymous for his own ego
He needed to feel powerful
He didn't give a shit about being a leader
Or gaining dominance over a music scene that he didn't really seem to give a shit about
Even though they're all terrible, Varg is still a man of ideas
And he couldn't stand that a man who, in his opinion, was a poser
Could even have the possibility of being taken more seriously than him
Which just shows how much of a loser he is
He's just such a loser, this idea that he needs to live up to what everybody else thinks of him
It's also, there's a part of this concept of like that's how far you gotta go
In the black metal world
Where it's like, no, actually, the farthest you gotta go is get a platinum record
Yeah, that would be nice
That would be really impressive
But in Varg's mind, he is living his truth to his best ability, right?
Like, he thinks he's actually walking the walk
He's talking the talk, and now he's walking the walk
So you're saying hashtag Yasqueen
He's Yasqueen!
I mean, it leads to horrible results and murder
But he did follow through with what he was saying
So I think in his mind, he's telling the truth
Or he's living a truthful life
Above all, Varg is a man of principle
Yeah, the strange, thin, pale way
Yeah, he has his principles, he has his ideas, and he sticks to him
And he is stuck to him for his entire fucking life
He is not wavered once in his beliefs
Alright
So for the murder of Magna Andresen, Faust was sentenced to 14 years in prison
That's it?
Well, that's the Norwegian justice system
I don't know about that
And when he was later asked if he regretted it, he said
There's no remorse, I took his life and I paid for it
It's not a big deal, at least not in my opinion
Yeah, because you didn't really pay 14 years
I mean, that's a steal at any murder
Well, it's Snorri-
That's a very low price for a murder
Snorri-Ruch, aka Blackthorn, was sentenced to 8 years for his part in the murder of Euronymous
And for the murder itself, Varg Vikernis, aka Count Grishnak
Got the maximum sentence in Norway of 21 years in prison
Wow
And that's also, we mentioned Brevik, on Brevik, who killed 87 people
21 years is all he got as well
Yeah, I mean, that's just the-
I think, I really do think Norway is a very principled country
Yeah, for better or for worse
I would say when you kill 87 people, 21 is too light
And in this case, well, I guess in this case
We probably have some murders in this country getting 20, 15 years as well
Yeah, yeah, and it's one of those things where it's, you know, there's over-sentencing
And then there's under-sentencing
OJ Sims is about to have a reality television show
In October, he is out, in October, a perfect month for OJ to be released
The Halloween
Well, according to the blind items, OJ is working on a book
Which is going to tear the Kardashian family apart
Somebody is Kim's real dad
Is it Kim or is it the other one?
No, no, no, I believe it's-
Is it Khloe?
It's the one that looks exactly like OJ Simpson
Is it Khloe?
I think it's Khloe
Oh my goodness
I think it's Khloe, but for more blind items and celebrity news
Go listen to page seven on the last podcast network
So where is Varg today?
Where is Varg? You know what, Marcus? Can I ask?
Where is Varg today?
Let me tell ya!
Thank you!
Well, it's been 24 years since his conviction
So he's now out of jail and has his very own YouTube channel
He's a regular Pewdiepie
Yes, he is
Yes, he is
He's racist in other words
This is a controversial opinion, but I think technically he is more entertaining than Pewdiepie
Okay, what is that, that controversy?
I could see that for sure
By far more, yes, by far more
But this man can drone for hours
His videos cover everything from the purpose of blonde hair and Thulean myths
To other videos with titles like, how big muscles can a man get?
How big muscles can a man get?
Well, his whole thing is that bodybuilding is a selfish act
And that men should only be strong enough to work in the woods
And that if you have too big of muscles, it eats up too much energy, so it's bad for survival
This is not true
Which, again, just sounds like he just wanted to look at muscles
He also, what did he do in prison for 21 years?
Well, he said he read, he was a scholar
It was essentially a time of scholarship in which I read and I wrote
And that video, how big muscles can a man get?
It's mostly just a slideshow of all-timey Scandinavian beef cakes
Which Varg seems to have quite a large collection of
Interesting
It's like 20 beef cakes
And it's all from a very specific period of time
Fascinating
Now, he posts videos almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day
Mostly from the front seat of his car as most YouTube videos are made for some fucking reason
You can see him playing with swords
You can see him doomsday prepping or replacing the air filter on his Volkswagen bus
And who doesn't want to see that?
Marcus, what's the name of his role-playing game?
Ugh, God, I can't remember, he created...
Look it up real quick, look it up real quick
Because he did a role-playing game that is all grinding
He did this D&D nerd thing
Where he made it so, it's all of the least fun parts of the role-playing game
And he made it ultra-realistic
Where if you need wool, you have to raise sheep
And then you have to roll dice to see if your sheep live
And then you have to like, and so you do it for hours and hours and hours
And eventually you get to the part where you play out the Norse myths
I'm interested to hear what an Ignatius Nostradamus like how a character like that
Might participate in a role-playing game like this
Um, okay, okay, cool, so I got my talisman of protection, good
I've got my talisman of Victoria's gonna let me ask her to the dance this week
I think she's going to, Victoria's the name of a real girl I had a crush on
In elementary school
The role-playing game is called My Pharag
Okay
Which is just, he didn't even give it a fun name
My Pharag just stands for a mythic fantasy role-playing game
Ah, he's very literal
He says, the rules are designed to make sense and to give the players the ability to immerse themselves in Thula
A highly credible fantasy world similar to the European classical antiquity
Some places touching into the Viking Age or the Bronze Age
But yet different
And Thula, sorcery and ancient deities are real
And the world is inhabited by not only humans, but also elves, nymphs, dwarves, etons and trolls
As well as other creatures
Honestly, sounds kind of fun
It is a 160-way one-page core rule book
Oh my, you have to read 160 pages of rules?
What kind of world is this?
It is a pain in the ass
I was just looking at it, I was like there's just so much bullshit in this
And for nothing
Yeah, well not for nothing, for fun
Yeah, but who can you talk to about it other than the people that have read 160 pages of rules?
Yeah, that's pretty, I mean a lot of role-playing game books are, they get about that thick
It's lonely
They get pretty thick, no it's not lonely, you play it with friends
It's the opposite of lonely
No, it's actually, it has a pretty big YouTube group
Oh, okay
So there is a community there
It's like 60 to 70 people that get together and they play the games and they record it over YouTube and they hang out
And that's, and also Varg, if you do get into the game, Varg is a direct person you can talk to
And they'll talk, and he'll talk at you on YouTube and he'll get into the, and talk about variants of the game
Because he's constantly pushing this game
Strange stuff
Now we would play some excerpts from Varg's videos, but they are extremely boring
Much like Bersam's new albums, which are pretty much just New Age music for Goths that borders on self-parody
Ah
Now as far as crime in the black metal scene goes, it definitely did not end with the conviction of Varg's weakness
It would take a whole other episode for us to cover even a fraction of these other crimes
But we definitely wanted to give an honorable mention to a man named Gal
Yeah
Now Gal, lead singer of the black metal band Gogoroth
Which is awesome
Yeah, which is fucking great, it's one of those Lord of the Rings references
Fucking awesome
He was arrested in 2004 for assaulting a dude who showed up drunk and belligerent to a party at Gal's house
Allegedly Gal tied him up, tortured him for hours, and collected his blood in a cup to minimize the mess
My goodness
Now in his own defense, Gal said
When people cross my line and I let them know where my line is, many steps before they cross it, and they still choose to cross it, then I will be the one to decide what their punishment will be
And it is every single time we are playing hungry hungry hippos
Oh my goodness, those hippos are hungry
Well, he tells the guys not to cross the line, the guy crossed the line, he knew where the line was
Yeah, he knew exactly where the line was
This guy would be a strong president
Oh yeah, Gal is known to be like the scary one in the black metal scene
He made a red line and someone crossed it
He looks fucking terrifying
I believe it
Big dude, long hair, like his corpse paint is fucking on point
He's terrifying
He's got awesome nail covered armbands, and he's also a fucking great artist
Okay
Like Gal is a, he's a very interesting character
He also allegedly beat a guy half to death backstage at a concert for making homophobic remarks
As Gal is one of the few openly gay dudes in the black metal scene
Principal
But Gal claims that nobody said anything to him directly
He heard it
I will suck dick so evily, I will suck the devil's dick, and make the devil come
Because there's nothing more fucking metal than sucking the devil's dick so well that he comes in another three minutes
And I'll do it, time me
Two and a half minutes, two and a half minutes, under three minutes
I will say I wish the devil had warned me before he ejaculated, it's simply polite to do
And that's the day the devil died
Now in other news, not two weeks ago, right here in America, the Polish death metal band decapitated
Were arrested on suspicion of kidnapping a fan
Although very few details have been released about that one just yet
I'm not trying to get into all that Polish death metal
No
That's intense stuff
I was also looking up, trying to look up famous Polish warriors, because Norway has all these famous warriors
And I believe there's one called the Hathars, and they just wore big hats
Aww
It's bad
It's bad
Well you're a Polish man so I'd imagine you wanted to look into your
My heritage
Ancestry a bit
My family
Yep
What'd you find?
Not a lot
And while it may not be a crime crime
The band Stalag have used actual criminals in their recordings
One of their members works part-time in a mental institution
And was able to convince the administration to let him borrow patients to sing on one of their albums
Under the guise of primal scream therapy
Very interested
It's just nice with Stalag is that they actually got the patient's permission to use their screaming
Because it was like they were already screaming
Yeah, why not use it?
Which is nice
What a microphone in there
Yeah, one of the seven vocalists they used had been institutionalized from the age of 16 for murdering his mother
By stabbing her over 30 times
And another patient almost killed another patient during the recordings
Which is supposedly captured on the album
Oh my goodness
It didn't happen though
It's pretty metal
Now here is a sample of Stalag's album Project Misanthropia
Recorded in an abandoned chapel
You can really snap your fingers to it
I don't know how to dance to it
Do you hear it?
The people screaming?
Do you hear it?
It sounds like hell
You should listen to the whole thing
It's like 35 minutes long
35 minutes of that?
Yeah, it's an album
Yeah, dude
It's a short album too
I feel like it's like when you go into water that's room temperature at some point
You don't even realize that you're in water
Because that's already what my brain sounds like
That's fine
And that's it
Wow, there it is
Norwegian black metal
That's it
One, two, and three parts
And as a nice epilogue Finris from Dark Throne that we've mentioned a few times
You know what he does today?
What?
Mailman
There it is
He loves it
I love mailman
He still does music of course
But yeah, he just got a day job as a mailman
Because he just loves delivering the mail
There it is
You know, despite the bad shit that he did in his past
He got over it and he's an all around pretty good dude
He's known as like the cool dude in the black metal
Yeah, he's got a sense of humor
It's kind of nice
I'm really excited that we covered so much that we got to cover
And I'm glad that the black metal scene still got it
There it is
Yeah, this is still, Wattain's still out there throwing goats blood on everyone
Making people puke
Yep, the good stuff
They're doing all good things
The good stuff, man
Mayhem's still out there doing their shit
Yeah, I mean it's kind of cool
Their new vocalist is like pretty fucking great
He toured with a son and did a lot of really cool shit
So yeah, the black metal scene is still going strong to this day
There it is
Alright everyone, let's see
We are in Toronto, we're in Pittsburgh
We're in Toronto this Friday
We're in Toronto this Friday, September 22nd
There are tickets available for that
You can go to our website, lastpodcastontheleft.com
To get tickets for that
Of course we're coming to LA soon
We're going to be coming to Omaha, Nebraska
That's it
On November 18th and we've got one other show this year
That we're going to be announcing real soon
But it's a place that people have been asking us to come back to for a long time
So we're going to be announcing that very soon
Very excited about that
Two things, we got, so for the LA show
We're going to have a costume contest
So make sure you guys show up full gear
We're doing this shit, I think it's going to be a lot of fun
It's Halloween, let's fucking bust it out if you want to wear a costume
And second of all
If you want to, you don't have to though
Yeah, but I like having, I always like an excuse to wear a costume
I know, man
And then September 29th Friday at 11pm
At the People's Improv Theater in New York City
I will be in town
We're doing a murderous show
I guess it's going to be the last one
I don't know when it will ever do ever again
So if you want to come out to see a murderous show
Come and hang out and you're in the New York City area
September 29th to 11pm
There it is, September 29th, the People's Improv Theater
Great place, keep on supporting all the shows here on the last podcast
Network, Abliance Toppat for Everything Political
Page 7, that was as referenced in the show
Sex and Other Human Activities, Movistimes with the Mads
Wizard of the Bruiser, all the great shows here
Make sure to go check them out and rate and review them on iTunes
And let's get all these shows to number one
Because you guys deserve to be only listening to the best
And you have been for years, so thank you so much
Yeah, I also want to thank Hungry Ghost Press
For sitting a big box of merch
Their shit is amazing
They sent a bunch of posters, a lot of t-shirts
Like some of them, like that
I love your t-shirts so much
I fucking love Hungry Ghost Press, so thank you very much
And I also want to thank Laughing Lion Dry Bags
Okay
For sending us a bunch of dry bags
They're just bags of dry bags
They're bags that you can put stuff in
And it keeps them dry
I love it bro
I do not know why they, it's for kayaking and
Run Outdoors Crackers
You're literally trying to
We're the three of us, we are water people
I love, I love being out there
Get us to do outdoor activities
I'm gonna start doing it
I would love to see me fit in a kayak
Good lord
Follow us on Twitter at Henry Loves You at Marcus Parks at Ben Kissel
Follow us on Instagram at Dr. Vendasty at Marcus Parks
At Ben Kissel the number one
And follow us on all of the bullshit at LP on the left
There you go, hail yourselves everyone
Hail Satan
Helgi
Hail me
And let's do a magustalations
Magustalations
Hey guys, don't kill somebody, just make an album
I mean, just make albums
Make an album, make six albums
There it is