Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 287: Norwegian Black Metal Part III - This Laughable Society

Episode Date: September 21, 2017

On the conclusion to our series, we cover the murder of Magne Andreassen at the hands of a boy named Faust and how the final conflict between the two leaders of the Norwegian Black Metal scene ended i...n a pool of blood on the floor of an apartment building in Oslo. This House Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

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Starting point is 00:00:00 There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started Now the first one is good though, I stand by the first one. I mean, it's a total ripoff of the invisibles But everything's a ripoff of something Shakespeare stole from the Romans, but who did the Romans steal from they stole Jesus's life Jesus Mary Jesus Christ And then who was there for Jesus? Hey guys, it's been funny and all and stuff But like we don't have to actually nail me to this thing You guys are being really funny, all right, but stop it with okay with the spear, okay?
Starting point is 00:00:50 Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone. I am Ben kissle. I'm staring at Marcus Park staring intently staring intense Your teeth are looking great Marcus. Thank you very much. The line is working slowly, but surely I actually see the change I really do it's weird, right? Yep. And then of course we got Henry Zabrowski over there You sound like a man who just has been staring at trees during September. Oh, I wish I see it. Yeah Yeah Yeah fully ejectspert Ben kissle, which just means it's just being an outside drunk I can't wait and tell my fifties if I make it or maybe that's more of a sixties thing. I'm not quite sure Yeah, well it depends on how fast you give up. That's true. All right
Starting point is 00:01:32 Well, we're on to Norwegian black metal part three and the church burnings there. They're happening. They happened and now we're on a murder When we last left the black metal scene the competition of evil had already begun with church burnings happening across the country And it was only a matter of time before that quest for evil would lead to murder And finally the quest for evil has arrived here in my bathroom as you can see what I've done is I've taken the cops off of all the tooth The dried Exterior of the toothpaste will not allow the luscious liquid toothpaste ever to hit the brush of my
Starting point is 00:02:14 roommates. Oh my goodness. I remember when MTV's real world had real problems like that Yeah, remember that and lead to murder. It did whoa in August of 1992 when bear of the iPhone aka Faust stabbed a stranger to death in Lili hammer Norway Now Baird or Bard or Bjord or I don't know or how half these names are pronounced He his name is Faust, which is a cool name. Yeah evil doctor made a deal with the devil's bucket super metal but Bard himself was maybe 75 pounds And he had that thing that I cannot stand it's a hipster thing now too with the wispy
Starting point is 00:02:56 Like armpit hair hanging out of really thin arms. Yeah, we're in a tank top It really just makes me sick to my stomach Why because they have nice bodies with good no luscious armpit hair No, he looks like Ichabod Crane and he's got that like sickly like I'm living in a shanty town in Central Africa body where and it's just that it's the the scarecrow fingers For armpit hair, I'm jealous of that. I am jealous of that body though. Oh, that's my body Now Faust as I suppose will call him as we can't really pronounce these Norwegian names was a drummer for the extremely Influential black metal band Emperor signed at the time to Euronymous's deathlike silence productions as well as being a part of the so-called
Starting point is 00:03:51 Norwegian black circle, so he's on the way up. He's doing very well in the community He's doing well in the community and a couple of the other guys from Emperor were very active in the church burning Okay, now Faust also published a fanzine dedicated to black metal called or crustis Which somehow translates to the inner circle of hell where Lucifer resides on his throne So it's Lucifer's bathroom. Oh, I see yeah or crustis just sounds like a horrible pizza place It's all vegan no cheese at all. It's like you can have or crustis or crustis That's all we have is crustis like it sounds like the thing like after sex When you pee and it just comes out in the two string the two separate streams
Starting point is 00:04:33 Oh, yes, so in August of 1992 Faust was in Lili hammer visiting his mother for the weekend. Excuse me, everybody I know you will miss me. I'm sorry. I'm missing rehearsals and visiting my mother But I will make sure that it is the most evil trip to see my mother Black metal visit ever I don't know about you shvon, but Faust is getting cooler and cooler So Faust was out having a drink, but he left the bar stone sober because in his words quote The atmosphere didn't suit me. Oh, you can't have a drink because the atmosphere didn't suit him No, the atmosphere did not suit him. So he had to go home. You got to have a drink to suit the atmosphere You left your mother's house to go get a drink like I don't understand like you left you left the bad part
Starting point is 00:05:22 Go to the good part. So what is it? The atmosphere just didn't have enough rotting corpses. I guess so After leaving the bar Faust decided to walk through a park that had been constructed for the upcoming 1994 winter Olympics Oxana by Yule. Yes, I remember the sexual awakening of many of us. Well, this was was this the caragin Olympics Actually, it was the caragin Olympics 1994. Well in that park a man named Magna Andresen Approached Faust asking for a light even though Magna was already smoking A Budweiser frog outside the bar Now it was obvious that Magna was cruising for a little action Oh, but instead of politely declining and moving on Faust decided then and there spur of the moment that he was gonna kill
Starting point is 00:06:18 This man. Oh my well Magna asked Faust if you wanted to leave the park and go up into the woods together They walked together into the forest for a while until Faust decided the time was right I love that this guy's courting habits were the same as Chickatello's I'll ask him to go to the woods with me. Nothing could go wrong Or Faust later said I don't really remember what I was thinking But at least I know if I didn't do it now, I would not get another opportunity The way that you do it, I feel like you should be throwing spaghetti in the air Just very chef-like
Starting point is 00:06:55 So as Magna was walking behind Faust and talking Faust pulled out the folding knife He always kept in his back pocket turned around and stabbed Magna in the stomach Magna fell to his knees and Faust continued stabbing him in the neck and face And when Magna finally fell to the ground Faust continued stabbing him in the back Sticking the knife so hard between Magna's shoulder blades that Faust had to brace his foot against the body to get it out again After pulling out the knife Faust started to walk away But heard Magna making noises like he was still alive Faust walked back and kicked Magna's head in later saying I didn't want him to manage to live through this and go to the
Starting point is 00:07:35 Hospital and report me. It was easier to take his life and then go and hope that everything would be okay Man Meanwhile, there's a micolo, but a really nice TGI Fridays with his name on it And he could have just sat at a damn bar and had a drink instead. He killed a poor man He could have been wind and dined. Yeah, he is 20 years old Faust has nothing Faust is a Faust is a garbage person Yeah, he met an upwardly mobile gentleman that just so happened to want to have a tussle in the bushes Right, which I think is a thing people find that romantic sure. I don't only because I hate leaves Well, that's good to your body. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not into that. So it's like I find it romantic. Do you? Yes
Starting point is 00:08:18 So you guys you can listen to sex and other human activities on last podcast network for more insight into the romantic Leading of Marcus Parks. Do you guys leave your apartment to go out into the streets of Green Point to have sex? No, you don't do it in the city. I don't think he's referencing No, there's no romance there. There's no romance there and not really in Prospect Park either because you know There's kids there and you can't go to Central Park to the brambles because that's where the Cruisin happens You've thought about it. The homeless gay men already have that all staked out. We can't use that Do the brambles have like a no-breeder sign? Well, it's under. Can you not it's understood? Ah It's an under that's just that that's something in New York City you understand if you ever walked through the brambles before
Starting point is 00:09:00 I know I don't know what a bramble is. I know there's a drink called the bramble Yeah, brambles is a part of Central Park where lots of gay sex happens. Okay. We gotta have a little fun Yeah, you got to leave a lot of clearance for your feet You got to really lift your knees when you're walking through there because you don't like you just want to make sure you Don't accidentally step on a honeymoon. Well, all in all foul stabbed his victim 37 times Oh, the body was found two days later by a schoolgirl jogging in the area Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just see like that's my problem those that in in these areas I just imagine like a very
Starting point is 00:09:36 well set Woman in a leader hose and dress with a beer stein on her head Yeah, and the pigtails. I mean, you know, it's the old cliche. Why jog why just gonna find a body But has a has a person skip you never found a body have a little more fun with it Well the day after the murder Faust returned to Oslo where he joined Varg and possibly Euronymous depending on who you talk to and burned down Hulmin colon church this guy is having a busy 48 hours for a black metal star man technically It's called a black metal bot mitzvah. It's what he just did
Starting point is 00:10:10 I said he he it was true He hit it all in once because what he said was that he went to go hang out immediately started bragging about what he did And then the two of them said do you want to come on this church burning with us? And he just straight up said was like well, I've already killed someone I might as well Björn a church And horrible people Yeah, and the night after that the night after the church burning Faust was watching TV When he found that he was directly responsible for both the lead and the follow-up stories on the national news Which nobody had linked at the time so but they didn't realize it was him that the stories
Starting point is 00:10:45 We're just out there. They had no idea They knew that the church burnings were a block pretty much a but they knew that they it was a black metal thing But with Magna and Dracen that was just a complete and total unsolved murder, okay? And when Faust was asked if Magna being gay had anything to do with the murder Faust said I don't like it when you're trying to get people who aren't Homosexual it's okay if they want to be homosexuals, but at least they must stay with their own people This guy is dressed like Avril Lavigne on a bad day Yes after being buried in the ground for three days, and he has the audacity to judge others It's really incredible how judgmental they are extreme
Starting point is 00:11:25 I mean their whole thing is based on being judgmental because these guys are very biblical But I thought they were all testament biblical. Yeah, no, it's the opposite. They are hardcore us versus them It's the same thing as like the bad it's the bad side of any would become sort of like a cult like mentality Is that he they believe it's us versus them? And they say they're also kind of sounds like if he didn't kill him that they might have fallen in love with each other Yeah, that's a bit of that in there as well. Well, that's what Faust is He's one of those homophobes that as long as gays are on the other side of the room He can keep that hatred and homophobia at bay, but as soon as a gay person talks to him
Starting point is 00:12:02 He starts feeling all weird inside he freaks out and it comes out in extreme violence My in other words, he's one of those guys with the feelings that are strongest. Yes, exactly now the night of the murder Faust Immediately called Uranimus to tell him all about the murder and Uranimus told Varg and Varg use it as currency to show how cool and evil the scene was when he was talking to girls It's like that sleepover game that used to be advertised when we were a kid where it's like you call the girls up on the Telephone and they're all like what say it again Brad did what and they're calling the telephone cord on their finger back and forth Just kicking their feet up beating marshmallows in bed man. It's a 90s flashback week for me I watched goosebumps yesterday as well. Oh, how was that? It's horrifying. It's great stuff
Starting point is 00:12:49 Is it just you with your suit jacket on and no clothes underneath that just is drinking it's no clothes at all my friends No clothes at all at home for me Well, not only did this murder and the subsequent church burning give the scene a bit of social currency It also gave the scene more confidence in their actions Oh my god As not only had they gotten away with dozens of arson's including one that had resulted in the accidental death of a firefighter But one of them had now gotten away with murder and topped it off with another church burning. Hmm all consequence free. Oh Up to this point. I would assume some consequences must be coming. All right, but just like the doomsday machine and Dr. Strangelove
Starting point is 00:13:30 There's no point to any of this if you keep it a secret. Ah So Varg gave an anonymous interview to the big and stood in a Newspaper what was that big and stood in a the big and tight big and tight in a are you sure this isn't a trucker magazine? What's what's going on? I don't know how that's pronounced. No idea. I think big and tight in a D Today, it's a newspaper in any case. It's a newspaper He gave the interview in January of 1993 and this is the interview that Varg refers to as the media event Go fuck yourself Honestly, it's this whole thing where he says he did this on purpose and this is carefully constructed
Starting point is 00:14:09 No, it may actually be I think it kind of is but it's the way that the the media was manipulated just so easily It's because the past the story was just handed to that. Yes, exactly. So they just ran with it. It's such a perfect media story It's a great media especially in the 90s Like you know, you've got the whole satanic panic thing going on in the in America And then all of a sudden Norway has their very own satanic panic They have their very own huge crime story to cover and people ate it up They could not get enough of it. It's innocent times man. The bad simpler days the fun days man Yeah, you got religion. You got church burning. You got murder. You got it all. Yeah music
Starting point is 00:14:49 Is that what that song's about? Now Varg who it must be remembered still went by count grishnack in casual conversation Casual conversation. Hello count. Oh, this is my friend count grishnack. Hello grishnack. It's very nice to meet you We think the pronouns are difficult now imagine if everyone was going by count whenever they wanted to I did not go to 12 years of fake Royalty school to be called grishnack. I'm sorry. I didn't I apologize count I put myself through several yearly exams. I wrote a thesis. I Put I went on summer vacation where I met a girl while working at an ice cream van I saw that I did that I was still yes
Starting point is 00:15:31 And that was then loosely based on the movie once bitten was loosely based on my story then Well, I graduated. Yeah, I stopped being grishnack. All right your account. Can you just pay for this coffee and get out of this gas station? I have no money. Oh You just take the coffee Well, this was an anonymous interview that he did but he openly said he knew who had burned the churches saying that they were Quote showing Oathen to the people Oathen Elden
Starting point is 00:16:01 Oh, it's it's oh, I see there are 20 different pronunciations for Odin Woden and guess what and he's in each one of them. It's like Sub-Zero Like desert open. It's a pterodactyl open. It's half of bus transformer. Oh, that's cool. I like Woden Yeah, oh, I like my favorite that well, of course, that's the German way is Satan. Oh, is that right? Yeah, right on brand Odin is also a really great cum sentence Or if you want to freeze your enemy except it's pronounced voting Yeah, but in the German way vote, but that's some of that cultural memory We were talking about in the last episode the Carl Jung cultural memory you have that then you were immediately drawn to that
Starting point is 00:16:50 We've never talked about this. Kissal has the power of the runes deep within his blood Kissal is born with real at his fingertips. I'm gonna start summoning it. You guys better watch out Yeah, you're the only one man. Yeah, I've only got like English and French energy a little bit of Native American voting Well Varg was also quoted as saying that one of the churches that was burned on Christmas Eve was burned not because of the day But because the black meddlers had heard the word peaceful said on TV and I got all mad about the quote-unquote righteousness in society So this is when Varg becomes the penguin They are a D-bags
Starting point is 00:17:36 Well Varg says that a lot of the things printed in this article and for that matter many of the things printed in lords It lords of chaos are complete and told lies and there are probably Probably some exaggerations here and there. Oh, I'm sure but the thing is a lot of the things Varg said in the interview We're confirmed. So it's hard to say what's true and what's not. Yeah Now they may not have burned the church because someone said the word peaceful But this is the interview in which he mentioned the bunny chase that we talked about in the last episode and a Decapitated bunny was indeed found at Fenthoff to church But later the the autopsies reveal that it was a suicide of the bunny. Oh, we got a we got to increase the bunny's lifestyle
Starting point is 00:18:19 Yes, plus some of the quotes do sound a hell of a lot like the self-serious bullshit Varg likes to spout to this day such as It's not good for us to laugh. We have nothing to laugh at in this laughable society Well, then you got something to laugh at exactly to laugh society. I don't know But you think about this, right? So now it's a it's obviously a chicken-and-egg scenario He now made the media event to tie the black metal scene to the crimes Which then causes heat to show up and investigate everyone which and also creates an impetus for everybody to make the fiction real So what he did was sort of in a way He just did the thing well like now we have to walk the walk because if we don't we look like a bunch of hypocrites
Starting point is 00:19:04 And I am actually the big fat dumbass loser that I sound like right are they performing ever? Yeah, they're okay. They are all right Well Varg but doesn't do many live performances because it's just it's a one-man band So it's very tough for him to do a one-man person show even mayhem only they didn't do very many performances at all with the original line Up so these guys are playing shows like I think like emperor and dark throne. We're playing like a ton of shows Okay, but we'll get into what Varg is really all about or at least what I think Varg is really all about So after the interview Varg gave the whole thing one more good kick in the ass publicity-wise and used a picture of one of the burned
Starting point is 00:19:47 Churches as the cover for the second person release and he called it us which is Norwegian for ashes And the EP hadn't been released yet But Varg had been handing out flyers for it with his address clearly printed on the flyer exactly it's like if O.J. Simpson had taken a picture of his bloody hands after murdering the two of them and like put out our like some kind of spoken word album called like Look how big these hands are wonder if gloves fit them Yeah, you know if you could see my wounds there on the inside and on Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman Well cops put two and two together went to the address and arrested Varg for arson. Hmm And he was put in prison from January to March of 1993
Starting point is 00:20:31 But he was set free as they couldn't actually prove he was doing anything more than just talking shit and Varg knew that Hmm now this whole thing from interview to arrest accomplished exactly what Varg wanted to it boosted him Both as a figure and the scene and in the national Norwegian media and it juiced the hell out of the whole black metal scene And if you get famous in the national Norwegian media, we're talking hundreds of Hundreds of people. Do you have any idea how many I think it's Rickles. What's the name of their money? It's like it's like it's like squackles. It's a weird name But you'll be you'll have up to tens of those whatever that is and you'll have any any fjord I don't know what that is. I think it's a type of of shirt. It's like a shirt skirt
Starting point is 00:21:25 They wear you have any sort of tears. Oh, which is like I think is some sort of sandal shoe It's all of this. They're all combo clothes cool kind of selling it there The things were reaching a fever pitch and it was only a matter of time before something really big happen And that's already had church burnings and murder. That's not big enough for these guys. No, we're no really Okay, wow, and that's something would not involve anyone on the outside But rather it would happen from within with the murder of how is it? Aston urseth Aston off arseth Aston our
Starting point is 00:22:06 John Thompson can we just call him John Thompson from here on out? Anyways, that's your honor. This is real name It's spelled oisten arseth, but yeah, it's oisten arthas. It's an Erkin Aston Arseth Well done Now as we said last episode Bursam Varg's one-man band had signed to Deathlike Silence Productions, which was the record label that Euronymous owned and operated Badly, can you imagine how sad it would be to just watch a Varg? Like with the guitar on a stand like we showed last night on the stream
Starting point is 00:22:38 It's a guitar on a stand him try to play guitar running back to the boom Like doing like wait a minute wait a minute going up and hitting like the the beats machine So it's been like do-do-do-do better and then him screaming or like doing that thing where you build the layers with the machine Where you play one layer and then click the next thing you build the layers. That's that is how he I'm I'd assume That's how we record all the Bursam albums. I don't think he ran from one. I like Henry's idea better though Or an actual an actual one-man band with this gigantic apparatus. He's playing everything all at once It'd be so fun to see this is how I get my steps in also It's it doesn't that happen all time in the street in the Europe with the one-man band
Starting point is 00:23:19 Oh, yeah, like it's a it's an actual that's hope that is an actual band to have as if you have symbols between your knees Yep, there's a Polish fellow off the Bedford stop in Lorimer that has he's got the toes tapping He's got the knees going. He's got a guitar. He's got something going on with his head. I love one-man bands He's a great guy. I love him so much. I'm one of my favorite compilations in the world It's called attack of the one-man bands if you can find it You like rockabilly type of stuff. Go check it out Wow now the recording of the first Bursam album was paid for by Count Grishnack's mother Who Euronymous was supposed to reimburse from album sales and he never did nor did he pay any royalties for that album or? The Esca EP this poor mother if you think Vargas a pain in the ass. What is mom Varg?
Starting point is 00:24:04 I think she's gonna be like So desperately trying to forget that her son is a loser from what Varg says She supports him wholeheartedly in his racial opinions. Oh, I see. Yes. Yes, and she's very it's alternative She's a she's an alternative mother. I see but Euronymous had more problems than just royalties He was also in a bit of a tiff with a number of bands from the Swedish black metal scene After he mockingly called the band's theory on and afflicted quote-unquote life metal in an interview Oh my god, I gotta see it's like saying it's like having a review that's like it more like shit. Yeah
Starting point is 00:24:57 Yeah, life metal. Ooh that cuts deep. He did however have very nice things to say about Marduk. Oh, oh very nice Yeah, and Marduk is a fantastic band. Well, probably the best Swedish black metal band out there. Okay. Yeah I mean they're differing opinions, but that is the prevailing opinion. Oh Furthermore Varg's interview had brought so much negative press on the black metal scene that Helvetta Euronymous says record shop that was paid for by his parents was shut down on the directive of said parents No, you can't shut down my record shop mom. That's where all my evil is Oh, wait a second. I just got I got all of these kebab stains on my belly button. I need to start wearing full shirts Trust funds they're funny
Starting point is 00:25:44 Those kids are a funny bunch. Well, it's like all of the around me in Brooklyn is all like the one-stop shops where it's called like Victorious and it's got three shirts. Oh, yeah hangers in there and there's nothing else in there And it's obviously just made by someone's parents's cash, and then it's closed in two months Yep, I walked into a store in Williamsburg recently and they laughed me out of the building like legitimately We're just like we don't have your son. What are you get out? And I just kind of left. Yes. It's the other clothes together I'm here to spend my money. I think you start being like you start immediately turning like a senator certain screaming That's what I do. Oh, yeah, tell me they don't have clothes for me and this being like I'm here to spend my hard-earned cash Well, so Euronymous he's fighting with the Swedes
Starting point is 00:26:33 He's got me all the bands are screaming at him about royalties. His parents have made him close down his precious record store Yeah, I mean he's losing control here. He is fighting with all the neutral countries Because they're not fighting wars. That's true. That's a good point I also wonder do you think it's kind of like Tony Soprano right where he's got he's got like it's he's getting leaks in the ship Yeah, sure starting to like circle all around him. So now he's starting to do the thing where he is going to try and build a Another narrative where he is going to try because that's what I'm talking about He's heavily talking shit about the other members of mayhem. He's talking shit about everybody He is now I imagine throwing out death threats back and forth now that someone is dead because I'm just set
Starting point is 00:27:19 Is that now this man is like alone on a sinking boat and he needs to get the Charles Manson control of the group again Yeah, he's like a little gossip columnist. Well, I think I think it's a little I don't know if it's that cynical with your anonymous I think with your anonymous He had been more of a leader on the actual music side because he was the guy that was releasing albums He was running the record store to sell those albums no matter how bad he was at it He was still putting off the music so the murders and the church burnings. That's just that's just a side dish You're on a mess had nothing to do with that It was a distraction distraction, but he was trying to use it. Yeah, like he was trying to use it, but he was just so stupid
Starting point is 00:27:57 He was just so stupid and he can't run a business. He's a musician. He just should be in charge of the record store He was an amazing musician like he was a fantastic musician, but yeah I mean usually musicians do not make good business men different skill sets. Sometimes they do a lot of de-sneider Yeah, then you also have to be 100% sober. Yeah By the way, do not watch the Twisted Sister documentary. It is so awful You have to be completely sober to be a good musician and a businessman and none of them are It's like the three of us talking when we have our business talks Oh, yeah, we're stuff. We're like, you know, I mean really the big thing is that we just got a chart up
Starting point is 00:28:37 Yeah, I'm like what guys no matter what's happening. I am tapping this keg. So let's do that business men business men business We sniff cards like we're kids in the hall. Well your anonymous you like to talk a big game about evil and such But from what I can tell the black metal scene for him was about just that black metal And even in interviews when he talks about evil it all just seems forced. Yes, I doubt that he is He's a poser. He just cares about the music. Yeah, he just wanted to make good albums He liked the philosophy about it, but mostly he was But again, that's why I'm saying it's like he was trying to he was seeing himself lose control Over the people that because that's how he would have controls that he'd hold court at the record store
Starting point is 00:29:20 And he would have all of these like he had all lines of communication running through him He had his basement where like people from out of town would stay So it was this great hub of of the whole scene that he was in charge of and but in the end It was just about a music but the problem is that he was up against essentially Varg who Was now taking it to a terrorist level where it was past the music. Yeah, exactly Like your anonymous was all about the music But that was not so for Varg beacons for Count Grishnak this shit was and still is very real and More about the ideas, huh?
Starting point is 00:29:55 Then it was about the music and that doesn't discount Bersam as a bad nor as an influence no matter how big of a dickhead Varg is Those first two albums are landmarks It's like we said with about Jerry Lee Lewis just because he married his underage cousin doesn't mean he's not important to the history of rock and roll There we go. Everybody has their peccadillos. Everybody has their peccadillos. Yeah, you remember Chuck Berry like to I remember the old Chuck Berry We we did say in Lewis before we performed at the one of his famous bars blueberry Hill Yeah, blueberry Hill. Yeah, just cuz Chuck Berry liked to film women being in his Mean the Chuck Berry is not one of the fathers of rock and roll music And also great chicken in that restaurant. Yeah, it was a nice restaurant
Starting point is 00:30:35 But I just don't you could have paid him to pee on you Yeah, there's a series of mistakes that Chuck Berry made and now yeah He is he's gone and we did make fun of him to the point where we possibly did maybe we were complicit Yeah, we're not defending any of these guys of course we're not defending any of their actions But you can't deny that their music their art did have a huge effect on everything that came out of course Look at Woody Allen or Tom Cruise. Yeah to separate the artists from the art. Yeah, sure I'm actually upset. I want to see that the movie Tom Cruise is in right now, but I can't look at him Yeah, I can't do it. You just can't look at Tom Krueger made me. Yeah sucks
Starting point is 00:31:15 Yeah, but it seems to me that for Varg the ideas and principles come first and the music comes second and Euronymous and Varg they fucking hated each other by the end according to Varg a lot of other people in the scene Hated Euronymous as well. Although again Varg is an unreliable source. This is what he said about that Dark throne realize what a jerk he was they didn't want anything to do with him Fenris liked Austin I Aston Is it? Oh, is it Aston? Oh, I see even I have a hard time with it, but the other guys they hated him they cursed him in rituals. They were Satanists
Starting point is 00:31:56 That's how they show how they hate me. I just wrote Euronymous sucks big ones That was my grass. That's brutal But I think a lot of it had to do with money The reason why everybody else hated him is because he wasn't paying anybody. Yeah, he fucked up the whole business He couldn't get reprints of Bersam That's kind of what the the the big fight that happened to in Varg and Euronymous is that that Bersam the second album sold out really fast But your Euronymous could not afford the second rollout of records and Varg was already in with him for money Couldn't get his royalties paid out. So he's getting he's getting madder and madder
Starting point is 00:32:31 I think that Varg also because he didn't get the stature that he wanted in the scene because I honestly think in the end Euronymous genuinely didn't really care about his his position It happened naturally and then he was trying to maintain it where Varg was he wanted what Euronymous had because he thought He was actually more hardcore because he was he's gonna do we took are gonna find out He was the real hardcore one and when he didn't get it He immediately like like in a way that happens with like easily bored Pieces of shit where he's just like well, I'm done with the scene like I'm out I'm out with this and that's why in the end now his music's all Norse EDM
Starting point is 00:33:07 Oh, it's not even Matt. It's not even that. It's God. It's off. It's not Norse EDM We'll get into Persum's recent stuff later All right now Faust said that Varg was quote-unquote very much into making war with Euronymous That he didn't like him anymore because he wasn't true enough and he wasn't paying royalties, which he wasn't that's the big issue Yeah, that's the big issue Yeah, but also in the opinion of Faust Varg didn't like Euronymous because Euronymous got more attention Within the scene itself Varg may have been the poster boy to the squares But in the scene Euronymous was still the guy. Yeah, because no matter what because he was pissed off
Starting point is 00:33:47 Like a lot of the musicians were pissed off at Euronymous, but the fans Loved Euronymous still and they went to the record shop and everything right to the record shop like your hub Yeah, to them like Euronymous was the guy Yeah, it's like Euronymous is Kevin Hart and Varg is Hilary Clinton And send your theories to us on Twitter at Ben Kissel Henry loves you and Marcus Parks Off For Euronymous's part it seems like he was a lot more worried about the Swedes than he was about Count Grishnak Hmm, but on the night of August 10th 1993
Starting point is 00:34:31 Euronymous would find out who his true enemy really was Now there are three versions of what happened that night. It's like the movie Clue But actually but here's with an oom blout There's Varg's version the version of the guy who was with Varg and the official version Varg's version begins with a call from Samoth of the band Emperor Allegedly Samoth told Varg that Euronymous had told him that he was planning to kill Varg by zapping him with a stun gun Tying him up and torturing him to death. No, you need to say it the proper Norwegian way, which is electronic shock pistol Which is what Varg calls it again and again
Starting point is 00:35:18 Okay Now Varg would have brushed this off as Euronymous just talking shit again But Samoth was supposedly the only person Euronymous had said this to well We'll get into this. I'll attack this whole theory only because it's like they all issue death threats against everyone That is how they all spoke to each other. That's very difficult. He's not Catwoman. I mean how powerful is this taser? Sinister six A bunch of supervillains all like Just a bunch of broke right 21 year olds in the basement of a stinky record shop
Starting point is 00:35:55 Extremely intoxicated. Well Varg reason that if Euronymous wasn't being serious He'd tell everybody as he was known to do but since the Euronymous only told one person It was more likely that he was serious about his threat. You see what I'm saying here He told one trustworthy black metal enthusiast in no way are they gonna gossip? No, no Lock box, Al Gore, lock box, lock it in What a fucking nest of hens Well that's the irony about all of this And that's what Varg said, he said like Euronymous of course he told Samoth but of course Samoth reported directly to me
Starting point is 00:36:30 So I found out about to meet him Reported directly to him huh? Chelsea and Barbara in the office Desperate house dweeps this is unbelievable Desperate house dweeps Well and not only had Euronymous told Samoth that he was gonna kill Varg Euronymous had also just sent Varg a very nice letter Now we don't know the exact contents but Varg described it as quote
Starting point is 00:36:56 Sweet pink and cozy And this naturally made him even more suspicious Would you believe every eye had a heart above it and every J lowercase that is like in Yerg or in Jark or in Kierg or in Jark Everything begins with three J's Each one had a heart over it and I'm like what are we doing trying to seduce me then come over here and kiss me then You sweet fucker always holding out Love could be in the air So on August 10th 1993 Varg drove from Bergen to Oslo to according to him confront Euronymous about the threats
Starting point is 00:37:40 And he was joined by a guy named Snorri Ruch What was that? Snorri Ruch It's probably Snorri Ruch He is the dwarf that keeps all the rest of them awake at night I see I think he's dressed like a furry right He would have to be Snorri Ruch
Starting point is 00:38:02 Snorri Ruch But we'll call him by his alias Blackthorn That's cool Now you say that Varg drove Varg was driven by Snorri He called up Snorri He said drive me to Euronymous's house
Starting point is 00:38:19 And he has all of these little bitches that are like yep And they came and Varg hid in the back seat with a blanket over him Because he said that he was too famous in Norway And that if he's seen he would cause a commotion Of course I heard about that Well actually he does make a good point with that Because he was a national figure at this point Because he had been arrested for all the church burnings
Starting point is 00:38:44 And people were talking about him constantly So his mug shots were on the TV Stuff like that Oh yeah everyone knew what he looked like So Blackthorn had just joined Mayhem Or Snorri, excuse me, had just joined Mayhem Which was Euronymous's band Now his part in the story is pretty fuzzy
Starting point is 00:39:02 And although there is some evidence that says he may have known what was going to happen It seems to me like he might have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time He was just, as Henry said, he was just doing what Varg was telling him to do I see So Varg showed up at Euronymous's house in the middle of the night And rang the doorbell And let him in and Varg walked up to Euronymous's fourth floor apartment While Snorri stood outside having a smoke
Starting point is 00:39:25 Now Euronymous issued a death threat to you He then allows you to just walk into his house He answers the door in his whitey tighties Which are Norwegian so you know that they're covered in urn stains Oh sure What are you going to do? You got to let him in The only two people who know what really happened once Varg got into the apartment Are Varg and Euronymous
Starting point is 00:39:46 But according to Varg, Euronymous, still in his underwear, panicked when Varg confronted him And kicked Varg in the chest I'm kicking you I'm going kicking and blast It's like a street fighter So if there is like a tale of the tape, what are we talking here? Both 5'7", 115 pounds, reach about 25 inches I actually have no idea what their sizes are
Starting point is 00:40:09 I think Varg is actually a fairly tall guy Is he a taller guy? It seems like he is I think he's a taller guy, they're both like gas station attendant fit My size You know what I mean? They could wrestle a homeless man But only if the homeless man is too drunk to fight I see, alright
Starting point is 00:40:26 Now Varg said Euronymous ran to the kitchen to grab a knife So Varg pulled his knife and stabbed Euronymous before he could get there Euronymous then allegedly ran towards his room where Varg said he kept the shotgun the dead had killed himself with Doesn't know if that's real or not, he did not know if that was true or not But what he said is that if it was true, he had to defend himself But Varg managed to chase Euronymous out of the apartment Who was screaming for help and ringing the doorbells of all his neighbors Which gave Varg complete contempt because he died like a coward
Starting point is 00:40:58 Like a coward who goes screaming and running like a little girl It's like you stabbing him Yeah, you are stabbing him You're stabbing him, he's in his underwear, it's 3 in the morning He doesn't know what the fuck's going on He's wearing his cool I-heart Transylvania shirt Well Varg said that since he was now absolutely convinced that Euronymous had been planning to kill him Varg decided to end it right then and there
Starting point is 00:41:18 And as Euronymous was running down the stairs Varg stabbed him in the back again and again Euronymous fell and Varg delivered the killing blow by stabbing him in the skull hard enough to make the knife stick Whoa, geez, that is not easy to do That is not easy to do at all No, you have to be very mad at someone That is a fatality there Oh my goodness But I don't know if he's telling the truth on that
Starting point is 00:41:41 Because the coroner's report says that Euronymous was stabbed 23 times And they list the official cause of death as blood loss Varg is the only one who says that he stabbed Euronymous in the skull so hard the knife stuck No one else says that Nothing Varg says is true I am now convinced I've listened to him tell the story four or five times He does it again and again in his YouTube page
Starting point is 00:42:07 And he did it in the documentary And I think he is full of shit I think that he panicked and was just stabbing him, stabbing him, stabbing him And then he died at the bottom of those stairs Well, Snory was just outside, just been like, oh, oh Still smoking the world's longest cigarette apparently I don't know what's going on with that guy Yeah, it was a 500
Starting point is 00:42:30 Yeah, light it with a torch or something Now it may have happened that way It may have been self-defense, but there is a mountain of evidence to the contrary That says this was a premeditated act through and through Now according to the official court documents, there was a third accomplice in all of this Just before Snory and Varg left big and for Oslo, they set up an alibi First, they rented a movie, one they had already seen So they could describe the plot to police later
Starting point is 00:42:58 And apparently it was Mrs. Doubtfire because according to them Is that, I mean, if you rented it, how could you not stay at home and watch it? I agree, he just wants his children back And then actually it's a very creepy film And Acronism, Mrs. Doubtfire was not released yet 1993 Oh, in Acronism No
Starting point is 00:43:17 Wow, wowza Wait, what year was Mrs. Doubtfire? 93 I don't know about that Oh, it might not have been on video, God, it was 93 Okay, it was on video I don't know if it was on video yet, because this whole thing happened in August And I'm pretty sure Mrs. Doubtfire was a summer video
Starting point is 00:43:37 And it takes a long time for videos back then in the nineties Back then in the nineties, it took a long time for a video to be released in other countries As opposed to America Harvey Fierstein, he was very clever Well let the listeners figure this one out They can figure that out, but my... At Marcus Parks, at Henry Loves You I call an Acronism
Starting point is 00:44:00 Wow, I will decide the truth on that Well, after they rented the video, they left an ATM card with the third accomplice Who was supposed to take out some cash in the middle of the night to make it look like Farg was still in Bergen Unfortunately, they left the wrong card So that part of the plan fell apart So fucking stupid And if Farg also brought with him a contract that would have released Bersam from Deathlike Silence Productions Because that was his whole...
Starting point is 00:44:28 His whole reasoning was saying, I went to Uranimus's apartment to hand deliver this contract To throw it in his face so that he could see that Bersam had left And Uranimus tried to murder me Which is garbage They had been barely talking It was already happening where it was like, Uranimus was trying to reel him back in Because he wanted Bersam on the label Because he loved Bersam, he loved the band
Starting point is 00:44:50 And technically had a lot of weird love for Farg But Farg just rejected him completely And so he just thought he had built the solid thing When in reality it was fucking a Cone Brothers movie Where everybody's a moron But he fucked it up completely Oh my goodness, he used his head like a butcher block That is horrible stuff here
Starting point is 00:45:10 If he did it Like that The whole thing with the contract story said That if Farg dropped off the contract with Uranimus releasing Bersam Then everybody would think that everything was hunky dory between them There would be no reason for Farg to kill Uranimus And according to the story, that's exactly what Farg told Uranimus the visit was for Through the intercom when Farg was trying to get into Uranimus's building
Starting point is 00:45:35 Because Uranimus did not want to let Farg in Yeah, yeah, shouldn't have let him in there Yeah, of course not No, it's 3 AM, somebody has just driven 12 hours to come see you in the middle of the night Why are you gonna let him in the house? He's like, I just went to bed, come back in the morning And then Farg was insistent and Uranimus let him in And for some reason when Snorri retells the story, he only refers to Farg as the Count
Starting point is 00:45:58 Oh god, all of these people reminds me of high school when we used to play D&D And then we used to call each other by the names of our characters Ugh, god, really? Wait a second, what? Like in public, in school? Outside of the D&D game? Yeah, my name was Ignatius Nostradamus because I was an elf wizard I was a chaotic good elf wizard
Starting point is 00:46:20 Wow, wow, seven years to get that piece of information out Wow, that is What was Ignatius, what was that name? Ignatius Nostradamus Ignatius Nostradamus Yeah, it was cool, and I had control of fire Stu, is that Stu? So you were a pyromancer as well
Starting point is 00:46:38 Yes, thank you Marcus for using the proper term Wow Hey, if he's gonna be nerdy, you better be nerdy right Oh, absolutely, get into it Well Snorri said the Count had brought gloves with him as well But he forgot to wear them Which is what Varg tried to use as a reason why he was not a premeditated Murray It's like, well I had shooting gloves on me, I would have used my shooting gloves
Starting point is 00:47:02 Which is the dumbest shit I've ever heard That you even need to bring shooting gloves for your stuff, whatever But obviously his story's filled with holes Yeah, yeah, yeah And he says like, my story has not changed for 21 years That's why it's true It's like, no, you just got a good story and you stuck with it Rolling with it, okay
Starting point is 00:47:20 Oh yeah Well, I'll tell you what, I think I may actually have some proof of why Euronymous let Varg into the room Why? There's a bit of a piece that was written online that I found That I hear that, I mean honestly, it tells a story like pretty accurately And I think it's pretty close to what like actually went on between the two of them What's the name of the website that you read this on?
Starting point is 00:47:44 Read this story Okay Um 22 year old Varg Vikernis waits outside of Euronymous's flat and nox Euronymous answers half naked and his face is streaked with the sweaty remnants of face paint Expressionistic black and white geometric patterns Which once depicted him as a demonic and diabolical internal creature But now only serves to characterize him as a lame kiss impersonator
Starting point is 00:48:09 Varg, it's been a while Varg, staring at his feet as he nervously scuffs the floorboards Hi Euronymous And yes, it's been like nine months, nothing I'm counting Euronymous Varg, we're friends, you can call me by my real name I-A-Steen I-A-Steen
Starting point is 00:48:26 I-O-O-E-Steen Varg, finally looking into Euronymous's eyes, very sheepishly Okay Hi A-Steen Euronymous What brings you to also my comrade in evil? Varg Oh, you know, church burning and shit
Starting point is 00:48:41 Euronymous Yeah, I forgot about how much of a hellraiser you are Varg, embarrassed but flattered, doesn't realize he's blushing As if I'm nowhere near as evil as you That-that-that suicide picture of your ex-vocalist So fucking brutal Varg, I couldn't stop thinking about you
Starting point is 00:48:58 Can I come in? Euronymous Can it wait? It's very late Yeah, I know, I was just wondering if we could talk about What happened last week Euronymous Last week Yeah, oh yes, I mean, I meant nothing, we were both drunk as Varg, dude
Starting point is 00:49:14 Varg, do you really believe that? Are you just worried about Fenris? Of course not Of course not, Fenris doesn't own me Of course, I know that, I'm just worried You haven't called me since, well, since it happened It shouldn't have happened, it didn't mean anything So it was all meaningless, you say
Starting point is 00:49:33 Those three hours of passionate love-making were meaningless, you say You told me you love me I do I just-I don't want to be gay But you are Please don't be like this, I know you want to be with me He grabbed Euros face and kissed him hard Eurot didn't object and even let him to the bedroom
Starting point is 00:49:53 I'll be back Now I just need to go to the bathroom He walked out and Varg lay in his bed stripped off and waited for his lover Varg's point of view, I lie flat on my back on the bed In my erection, jutting out from my lower belly I have an urgent need to touch myself, but I did not do it without master's permission Still, one quick stroke can't hurt, right? With this thought on my mind, I'd reached out and encircled my throbbing member with my hand
Starting point is 00:50:18 And stroking off slowly and gently Bitch, did I tell you to masturbate? Master's voice booms from the doorway and I drop my hand I ask you a question, sluit! Did I ask you to masturbate? Oh no, master, but I was so horny You're a whore! You're always horny! That doesn't give you the right to touch yourself without my permission
Starting point is 00:50:36 You will be punished now! Yes, master! I whispered, afraid, and yet arose at the same time Master retreats into the large cupboard In our bedroom in terms of a bag of fun gear, as he likes to call it There's more pages of this What on earth did we just listen to? The Oscar goes to Henry Zabrowski Powerful performance
Starting point is 00:50:55 Now what is- there is sexual fiction about this stuff? Of course there is! Of course! Of course there is! What do you mean of course there is? Of course there is! What do you mean of course there is? With Varg Vikernis by Livia Loves Black Metal Okay, one time in Norway What happened was I went to go search for Varg Vikernis Wrote a version, like our Norwegian version of the Turner Diaries
Starting point is 00:51:16 And I went to go look for it To like, sort of like, and that's the only thing that popped up When I looked up Varg Vikernis fiction I love it Given his homophobic tendencies It's a powerful way to combat this man So after the murder Varg and Snorri drove all night back to Bergen
Starting point is 00:51:33 Listening to dead condensed So as to be as atmospheric and dramatic as possible Oh god Yeah, and once they were back They returned the video Completing their airtight alibi Oh my- I hope they didn't spoil it for the clerk behind the desk Being like, it's Robin Williams the whole time
Starting point is 00:51:51 No! Yeah No! Sorry Now the suspicion for the murder Initially fell on the Swedes That Euronymous had been feuding with at the time And Varg fueled this theory
Starting point is 00:52:04 Telling police the Swedes were jealous Of Norwegian black metal ideology Which was decidedly more evil than the Swedish version Okay Yeah, of course it is We just like, clocks and chocolate Now after hitting a dead end with Varg Police started grilling some of the black metal hangers on
Starting point is 00:52:22 Specifically a 16 year old Swedish girl Who had briefly lived with Euronymous She said I do not believe that Esther was killed by Swedish Satanists Most of the Swedes are too cowardly to ever commit a murder I will not reveal the name of the real killer The black metal scene will exact its own revenge against him Sorry
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah, that's a good point You don't associate Swedes with murder Not a whole lot Not a whole lot The Norwegians They have a lot more Yeah, well, yeah You got your Anders Brevik
Starting point is 00:52:58 Oh my goodness Yeah, it's horrible 87 people What about Anders? What about Barb? Well, everybody hates Anders Yes, they do But while this girl wouldn't roll over on Varg
Starting point is 00:53:13 I suppose thinking about taking revenge herself She did finger-beared Aethon, aka Faust, for the murder of Magna Andresen Faust was arrested a year and a week after the murder And confessed under questioning But there was still no evidence other than this young girl and his confession, right? Yeah, there was no evidence, but his lawyer advised him to confess Never confessed You got to watch the documentary on Netflix
Starting point is 00:53:39 Have you guys seen the confession tapes yet? Uh-uh Very interesting It is very good I would like to do an episode about false confessions I think it's really interesting Yeah, oh, for sure, we definitely should Now, after Faust went down, the rest of them fell like dominoes
Starting point is 00:53:53 Including Varg, who would stupidly left fingerprints all over the crime scene He didn't wear his shooting gloves Well, you know why he left fingerprints all over the scene? Was because once he heard that squirting sound his master applied lube to his ten-inch-long, four-inch-thick cock He also applied a little of my silky smooth shaven crack and pressed one finger inside of me Wriggling it around to loosen me up I moaned into my gag as master chuckled You like being fingered, don't you slot, he hissed
Starting point is 00:54:22 Oh, my Unable to respond verbally, I simply gave another muffled moan And if you are listening and you are aroused by that, it's okay Um, you can find it online Plus the huge head of his uncut cock against my whole Master Joe never was one for being chastle What if I can't hear any more Master gripped my narrow hips as he swam his heavy meat in and out of my asshole
Starting point is 00:54:46 We've got a sex alert going on over here, it's turning into saucy talk No wonder he had no time to clean up the scene My good, I guess, I get it now, yeah There's a lot of speculation as to why Varg murdered Euronymous We know Varg says that it was self-defense That it was solely over royalties, but that doesn't really make sense either Because if Varg kills Euronymous, he's not going to get any of the royalties Maybe there was money in the house, did they try to rob the place?
Starting point is 00:55:15 No, no, no No, of course there's not money in the house I don't know He's spending all his money on kebabs and soda I'm speculating That's the thing, in the rap world, when we originally were doing the series We talked about the idea of East Coast vs. West Coast At least those guys had fucking money
Starting point is 00:55:29 They were all millionaires fighting each other with armies They had boys, they had all crew and guns and all this shit These are just shitheads No money in the house Essentially, you're just outside of living in a dumpster Maybe some egos in the freezer The other theory is that Varg killed Euronymous for dominance over the scene To take his place at the top of the pecking order
Starting point is 00:55:52 Personally, I think that last theory is closest But I think there's a little more to it than that Or a little less, depending on your point of view This is just speculation, this is my personal opinion But I think, after spending quite a bit of time with the words of Varg Weakerness over the last few weeks That the most important thing in the world to Varg is how he sees himself That's why he killed Euronymous for his own ego
Starting point is 00:56:18 He needed to feel powerful He didn't give a shit about being a leader Or gaining dominance over a music scene that he didn't really seem to give a shit about Even though they're all terrible, Varg is still a man of ideas And he couldn't stand that a man who, in his opinion, was a poser Could even have the possibility of being taken more seriously than him Which just shows how much of a loser he is He's just such a loser, this idea that he needs to live up to what everybody else thinks of him
Starting point is 00:56:47 It's also, there's a part of this concept of like that's how far you gotta go In the black metal world Where it's like, no, actually, the farthest you gotta go is get a platinum record Yeah, that would be nice That would be really impressive But in Varg's mind, he is living his truth to his best ability, right? Like, he thinks he's actually walking the walk He's talking the talk, and now he's walking the walk
Starting point is 00:57:12 So you're saying hashtag Yasqueen He's Yasqueen! I mean, it leads to horrible results and murder But he did follow through with what he was saying So I think in his mind, he's telling the truth Or he's living a truthful life Above all, Varg is a man of principle Yeah, the strange, thin, pale way
Starting point is 00:57:32 Yeah, he has his principles, he has his ideas, and he sticks to him And he is stuck to him for his entire fucking life He is not wavered once in his beliefs Alright So for the murder of Magna Andresen, Faust was sentenced to 14 years in prison That's it? Well, that's the Norwegian justice system I don't know about that
Starting point is 00:57:53 And when he was later asked if he regretted it, he said There's no remorse, I took his life and I paid for it It's not a big deal, at least not in my opinion Yeah, because you didn't really pay 14 years I mean, that's a steal at any murder Well, it's Snorri- That's a very low price for a murder Snorri-Ruch, aka Blackthorn, was sentenced to 8 years for his part in the murder of Euronymous
Starting point is 00:58:18 And for the murder itself, Varg Vikernis, aka Count Grishnak Got the maximum sentence in Norway of 21 years in prison Wow And that's also, we mentioned Brevik, on Brevik, who killed 87 people 21 years is all he got as well Yeah, I mean, that's just the- I think, I really do think Norway is a very principled country Yeah, for better or for worse
Starting point is 00:58:43 I would say when you kill 87 people, 21 is too light And in this case, well, I guess in this case We probably have some murders in this country getting 20, 15 years as well Yeah, yeah, and it's one of those things where it's, you know, there's over-sentencing And then there's under-sentencing OJ Sims is about to have a reality television show In October, he is out, in October, a perfect month for OJ to be released The Halloween
Starting point is 00:59:08 Well, according to the blind items, OJ is working on a book Which is going to tear the Kardashian family apart Somebody is Kim's real dad Is it Kim or is it the other one? No, no, no, I believe it's- Is it Khloe? It's the one that looks exactly like OJ Simpson Is it Khloe?
Starting point is 00:59:27 I think it's Khloe Oh my goodness I think it's Khloe, but for more blind items and celebrity news Go listen to page seven on the last podcast network So where is Varg today? Where is Varg? You know what, Marcus? Can I ask? Where is Varg today? Let me tell ya!
Starting point is 00:59:42 Thank you! Well, it's been 24 years since his conviction So he's now out of jail and has his very own YouTube channel He's a regular Pewdiepie Yes, he is Yes, he is He's racist in other words This is a controversial opinion, but I think technically he is more entertaining than Pewdiepie
Starting point is 01:00:00 Okay, what is that, that controversy? I could see that for sure By far more, yes, by far more But this man can drone for hours His videos cover everything from the purpose of blonde hair and Thulean myths To other videos with titles like, how big muscles can a man get? How big muscles can a man get? Well, his whole thing is that bodybuilding is a selfish act
Starting point is 01:00:28 And that men should only be strong enough to work in the woods And that if you have too big of muscles, it eats up too much energy, so it's bad for survival This is not true Which, again, just sounds like he just wanted to look at muscles He also, what did he do in prison for 21 years? Well, he said he read, he was a scholar It was essentially a time of scholarship in which I read and I wrote And that video, how big muscles can a man get?
Starting point is 01:00:51 It's mostly just a slideshow of all-timey Scandinavian beef cakes Which Varg seems to have quite a large collection of Interesting It's like 20 beef cakes And it's all from a very specific period of time Fascinating Now, he posts videos almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day Mostly from the front seat of his car as most YouTube videos are made for some fucking reason
Starting point is 01:01:14 You can see him playing with swords You can see him doomsday prepping or replacing the air filter on his Volkswagen bus And who doesn't want to see that? Marcus, what's the name of his role-playing game? Ugh, God, I can't remember, he created... Look it up real quick, look it up real quick Because he did a role-playing game that is all grinding He did this D&D nerd thing
Starting point is 01:01:38 Where he made it so, it's all of the least fun parts of the role-playing game And he made it ultra-realistic Where if you need wool, you have to raise sheep And then you have to roll dice to see if your sheep live And then you have to like, and so you do it for hours and hours and hours And eventually you get to the part where you play out the Norse myths I'm interested to hear what an Ignatius Nostradamus like how a character like that Might participate in a role-playing game like this
Starting point is 01:02:06 Um, okay, okay, cool, so I got my talisman of protection, good I've got my talisman of Victoria's gonna let me ask her to the dance this week I think she's going to, Victoria's the name of a real girl I had a crush on In elementary school The role-playing game is called My Pharag Okay Which is just, he didn't even give it a fun name My Pharag just stands for a mythic fantasy role-playing game
Starting point is 01:02:36 Ah, he's very literal He says, the rules are designed to make sense and to give the players the ability to immerse themselves in Thula A highly credible fantasy world similar to the European classical antiquity Some places touching into the Viking Age or the Bronze Age But yet different And Thula, sorcery and ancient deities are real And the world is inhabited by not only humans, but also elves, nymphs, dwarves, etons and trolls As well as other creatures
Starting point is 01:03:02 Honestly, sounds kind of fun It is a 160-way one-page core rule book Oh my, you have to read 160 pages of rules? What kind of world is this? It is a pain in the ass I was just looking at it, I was like there's just so much bullshit in this And for nothing Yeah, well not for nothing, for fun
Starting point is 01:03:23 Yeah, but who can you talk to about it other than the people that have read 160 pages of rules? Yeah, that's pretty, I mean a lot of role-playing game books are, they get about that thick It's lonely They get pretty thick, no it's not lonely, you play it with friends It's the opposite of lonely No, it's actually, it has a pretty big YouTube group Oh, okay So there is a community there
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's like 60 to 70 people that get together and they play the games and they record it over YouTube and they hang out And that's, and also Varg, if you do get into the game, Varg is a direct person you can talk to And they'll talk, and he'll talk at you on YouTube and he'll get into the, and talk about variants of the game Because he's constantly pushing this game Strange stuff Now we would play some excerpts from Varg's videos, but they are extremely boring Much like Bersam's new albums, which are pretty much just New Age music for Goths that borders on self-parody Ah
Starting point is 01:04:16 Now as far as crime in the black metal scene goes, it definitely did not end with the conviction of Varg's weakness It would take a whole other episode for us to cover even a fraction of these other crimes But we definitely wanted to give an honorable mention to a man named Gal Yeah Now Gal, lead singer of the black metal band Gogoroth Which is awesome Yeah, which is fucking great, it's one of those Lord of the Rings references Fucking awesome
Starting point is 01:04:44 He was arrested in 2004 for assaulting a dude who showed up drunk and belligerent to a party at Gal's house Allegedly Gal tied him up, tortured him for hours, and collected his blood in a cup to minimize the mess My goodness Now in his own defense, Gal said When people cross my line and I let them know where my line is, many steps before they cross it, and they still choose to cross it, then I will be the one to decide what their punishment will be And it is every single time we are playing hungry hungry hippos Oh my goodness, those hippos are hungry Well, he tells the guys not to cross the line, the guy crossed the line, he knew where the line was
Starting point is 01:05:28 Yeah, he knew exactly where the line was This guy would be a strong president Oh yeah, Gal is known to be like the scary one in the black metal scene He made a red line and someone crossed it He looks fucking terrifying I believe it Big dude, long hair, like his corpse paint is fucking on point He's terrifying
Starting point is 01:05:45 He's got awesome nail covered armbands, and he's also a fucking great artist Okay Like Gal is a, he's a very interesting character He also allegedly beat a guy half to death backstage at a concert for making homophobic remarks As Gal is one of the few openly gay dudes in the black metal scene Principal But Gal claims that nobody said anything to him directly He heard it
Starting point is 01:06:08 I will suck dick so evily, I will suck the devil's dick, and make the devil come Because there's nothing more fucking metal than sucking the devil's dick so well that he comes in another three minutes And I'll do it, time me Two and a half minutes, two and a half minutes, under three minutes I will say I wish the devil had warned me before he ejaculated, it's simply polite to do And that's the day the devil died Now in other news, not two weeks ago, right here in America, the Polish death metal band decapitated Were arrested on suspicion of kidnapping a fan
Starting point is 01:06:44 Although very few details have been released about that one just yet I'm not trying to get into all that Polish death metal No That's intense stuff I was also looking up, trying to look up famous Polish warriors, because Norway has all these famous warriors And I believe there's one called the Hathars, and they just wore big hats Aww It's bad
Starting point is 01:07:05 It's bad Well you're a Polish man so I'd imagine you wanted to look into your My heritage Ancestry a bit My family Yep What'd you find? Not a lot
Starting point is 01:07:15 And while it may not be a crime crime The band Stalag have used actual criminals in their recordings One of their members works part-time in a mental institution And was able to convince the administration to let him borrow patients to sing on one of their albums Under the guise of primal scream therapy Very interested It's just nice with Stalag is that they actually got the patient's permission to use their screaming Because it was like they were already screaming
Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah, why not use it? Which is nice What a microphone in there Yeah, one of the seven vocalists they used had been institutionalized from the age of 16 for murdering his mother By stabbing her over 30 times And another patient almost killed another patient during the recordings Which is supposedly captured on the album Oh my goodness
Starting point is 01:08:08 It didn't happen though It's pretty metal Now here is a sample of Stalag's album Project Misanthropia Recorded in an abandoned chapel You can really snap your fingers to it I don't know how to dance to it Do you hear it? The people screaming?
Starting point is 01:08:32 Do you hear it? It sounds like hell You should listen to the whole thing It's like 35 minutes long 35 minutes of that? Yeah, it's an album Yeah, dude It's a short album too
Starting point is 01:08:44 I feel like it's like when you go into water that's room temperature at some point You don't even realize that you're in water Because that's already what my brain sounds like That's fine And that's it Wow, there it is Norwegian black metal That's it
Starting point is 01:08:58 One, two, and three parts And as a nice epilogue Finris from Dark Throne that we've mentioned a few times You know what he does today? What? Mailman There it is He loves it I love mailman
Starting point is 01:09:10 He still does music of course But yeah, he just got a day job as a mailman Because he just loves delivering the mail There it is You know, despite the bad shit that he did in his past He got over it and he's an all around pretty good dude He's known as like the cool dude in the black metal Yeah, he's got a sense of humor
Starting point is 01:09:26 It's kind of nice I'm really excited that we covered so much that we got to cover And I'm glad that the black metal scene still got it There it is Yeah, this is still, Wattain's still out there throwing goats blood on everyone Making people puke Yep, the good stuff They're doing all good things
Starting point is 01:09:45 The good stuff, man Mayhem's still out there doing their shit Yeah, I mean it's kind of cool Their new vocalist is like pretty fucking great He toured with a son and did a lot of really cool shit So yeah, the black metal scene is still going strong to this day There it is Alright everyone, let's see
Starting point is 01:10:03 We are in Toronto, we're in Pittsburgh We're in Toronto this Friday We're in Toronto this Friday, September 22nd There are tickets available for that You can go to our website, lastpodcastontheleft.com To get tickets for that Of course we're coming to LA soon We're going to be coming to Omaha, Nebraska
Starting point is 01:10:22 That's it On November 18th and we've got one other show this year That we're going to be announcing real soon But it's a place that people have been asking us to come back to for a long time So we're going to be announcing that very soon Very excited about that Two things, we got, so for the LA show We're going to have a costume contest
Starting point is 01:10:40 So make sure you guys show up full gear We're doing this shit, I think it's going to be a lot of fun It's Halloween, let's fucking bust it out if you want to wear a costume And second of all If you want to, you don't have to though Yeah, but I like having, I always like an excuse to wear a costume I know, man And then September 29th Friday at 11pm
Starting point is 01:11:00 At the People's Improv Theater in New York City I will be in town We're doing a murderous show I guess it's going to be the last one I don't know when it will ever do ever again So if you want to come out to see a murderous show Come and hang out and you're in the New York City area September 29th to 11pm
Starting point is 01:11:18 There it is, September 29th, the People's Improv Theater Great place, keep on supporting all the shows here on the last podcast Network, Abliance Toppat for Everything Political Page 7, that was as referenced in the show Sex and Other Human Activities, Movistimes with the Mads Wizard of the Bruiser, all the great shows here Make sure to go check them out and rate and review them on iTunes And let's get all these shows to number one
Starting point is 01:11:41 Because you guys deserve to be only listening to the best And you have been for years, so thank you so much Yeah, I also want to thank Hungry Ghost Press For sitting a big box of merch Their shit is amazing They sent a bunch of posters, a lot of t-shirts Like some of them, like that I love your t-shirts so much
Starting point is 01:12:01 I fucking love Hungry Ghost Press, so thank you very much And I also want to thank Laughing Lion Dry Bags Okay For sending us a bunch of dry bags They're just bags of dry bags They're bags that you can put stuff in And it keeps them dry I love it bro
Starting point is 01:12:16 I do not know why they, it's for kayaking and Run Outdoors Crackers You're literally trying to We're the three of us, we are water people I love, I love being out there Get us to do outdoor activities I'm gonna start doing it I would love to see me fit in a kayak
Starting point is 01:12:33 Good lord Follow us on Twitter at Henry Loves You at Marcus Parks at Ben Kissel Follow us on Instagram at Dr. Vendasty at Marcus Parks At Ben Kissel the number one And follow us on all of the bullshit at LP on the left There you go, hail yourselves everyone Hail Satan Helgi
Starting point is 01:12:48 Hail me And let's do a magustalations Magustalations Hey guys, don't kill somebody, just make an album I mean, just make albums Make an album, make six albums There it is

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