Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 297: The Lost Continent of Lemuria

Episode Date: December 2, 2017

This week on Last Podcast we explore the lost continent of Lemuria, from its origins as an insane three-eyed fever dream of Madame Blavatsky to the moon-fight with Atlantis that eventually sunk it to the bottom of the sea. Fiddles McGinty Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Galway Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.o

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Welcome. 14 million years in the past seems to pass so fast. I am Ananda. I was the high treasure of Lemuria. And it is a welcoming, welcoming presence to be back here on the petty third dimension. Well, I feel very comfortable right now. I feel like I'm in the presence of a god. I must tell you this, Benjamin. Is that how it was pronounced in your petty third dimensional world? I don't know why you're criticizing the third dimensional world, but yeah, that's it. Six foot seven and Lemuria. We were 12 feet tall and we had to shrink ourselves from 60 feet tall.

And I can help you change this and get back to your true potential. And all you have to do is go to MLSProductions.com and spend $39.95 on my new crystal set that you can rub on your shoulder knees and your thick, knobby shins filled with all these blood clots. We will get rid of them. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, everybody. I feel like Andy Kaufman. I'm totally cured because of these gems. I am Ben Kissel. That's Marcus Parks. We got Henry Zabrowski. Ah, apparently when you join the third dimension, you get these things called morning bonus,

which I hear when you're living with your sister. It is very embarrassing, nay, naughty to do. Leave your bedroom with a full morning. All right. Well, a little insight into Henry's life living with Jackie Zabrowski there in Los Angeles on today's episode. It's me. It's Henry Zabrowski. In case you haven't picked up on it, today's episode is all about La Meria, which I've had a fascinating time finding the YouTube videos, very good robots, best narrators of all time. There's a lot of robot narration. There's a lot of Tempe, Arizona, Sedona, Arizona based entertainment. This is really like if you want to go where the desert is Hollywood. It's the production studios for the various La Meria YouTube videos that exist. Absolutely.

Well, the lost land of La Meria is said to be one of the two antediluvian continents that existed both before and alongside the more famously known continent of Atlantis. Could you please define antediluvian? Antediluvian means before the Great Flood. There you go. Henry means before the Great Flood. Thank you so much. You mean we're like how my mat is dry before I get into the bathtub? So La Meria, it's sort of like, I don't know, it's like St. Paul to the Atlantis Minneapolis. Is that right? Is there like a little brother syndrome that La Meria might have? Well, it's actually a little bit more complicated than that.

But unlike Atlantis, which was first alluded to in 360 BC by Plato, La Meria is a fairly modern myth. And that is a big part of the La Meria story. It's just as much a tale of how a modern myth is created out of nothing as it is the history of three-eyed telepathic beings who breathe through their skin and now communicate telepathically with guys named Fred. Of course. Naturally. Why do you even have to say it, Marcus? I already knew all of that. This is a varied now what's becoming a tradition at last podcast on the left, which is this is information that is going to make you more difficult to speak to. This is information that is, it's horseshit. Honestly. I am like literally starting to believe all this stuff and then at some point it's all going to turn and you guys will be like, it was a joke, Ben. Well, then why am I wearing garbage bags?

You with garbage bags, you with the tiara with a big basalt crystal on the top of it. You got a ticket to Tempeh. I was told my blood clots were going to be cured. So geographically Lemuria was 6,000 miles wide and 3,000 miles long. The continent sunk into the ocean between 12 and 25,000 years ago, depending on your source and sources are plentiful on this one. Because all you got to do is say your source. All you have to do is be vaguely tan. You could be any race. You could be Greek, Italian and just say you're Mayan. And then you just show, and then you have a whole blog and that's the source. Yeah, it's like Ima Sumak, the musician in the, I think it was in the 50s that claimed that she was a Mayan princess, beautiful voice, wonderful musician, turns out, Queens. Ah, from Queens, huh? And that's with them. But Queens is the most diverse city in the entire world. So maybe there was a little bit of Mayan there and then when you're in Queens it's like yours that way sometimes.

I like it. And besides the standard Bibliothecapliades and the bad font, bad background websites, we also use the Lemuria entry in Man, Myth and Magic and the Bob Frazell book. Nothing in this book is true, but it's exactly the way things are. I am confused. But I like that. No, it's true to always hold the two thoughts in your head, right? That reality is reality and reality is an illusion. And let that confuse you all the time to the point that you're a bus driver. Another good outline that I've been using is a book called The Lost Land of Lemuria by Samathi Ramaswamy, and it is a highly intellectual book that he's trying to put a lot of real information in, but it's impossible to get through. And he has this thing called Labors of Loss, which is what he talks about, why there are so many different types of histories and fascinations put onto lost continents. It's very interesting and I will throw tips.

Alright, Henry, I've got to ask you percentage wise, how many of the books that you have read and or purchased are self-published? This was published in a publishing company called California. I think that's the state of the public library you stole it from. I literally have so many books with loose bindings because it was made in a basement. Before we get to all those sources, let's start our journey to the land of Lemuria with its kind of sort of scientific origins. The name Lemuria was actually birthed from evolutionary science. Back when the whole discipline was newish, a zoologist named Philip Sklatter was trying to figure out why the fossils of lemurs were found on opposite sides of the Indian Ocean, but none were found in between. Yeah, because lemurs are being all cutimatic ascar, but they also found a bunch of lemur bones, which I also bet are pretty cute.

Sklatter postulated that a land bridge once existed between Africa and Asia with lemurs aplenty all the way across. It's so cute, all the little lemurs jumping around and there's so few other places, I was looking up lemurs, it's hard to find lemurs in other parts of the world. They're just in this little section and it's so cute and they make funny little noises and they play songs like in a movie. Interesting, they made it just a bridge for the lemurs. Well they didn't make a bridge for the lemurs, it's a land bridge, it was a naturally occurring bridge. Trampled ground, is it trampled ground? No, it was just an island, it just was a country, they're just saying land bridge because they're just saying there was land in between India and Madagascar at some point. Do they sing when they walk across it?

Oh yeah, it's all bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop! I love it. It's all of that, it's a lot of shimmy and a lot of lemurs playing bongos. You've got a fake lemur king, you've got a cute little lemur lady, who's weirdly sexy. And I don't like that when they do that with Disney cartoons, like the squirrel and the King Arthur one. That's technically kind of cute in a weird section. I only like it because it messes with your brain so much. your brain so much. And so, Slatter, in honor of the creatures who inspired his research, he named this hypothetical land, Lemuria. Cool. Well, it's so much better than Stinky Tiny Monkey Bridge, which is what originally he wanted to call it. Can you shorten it at all? Can you shorten it? Now, when this theory was put forth in 1864, it wasn't implausible

or even stupid. It was actually a pretty good idea with the information they had at the time. But, as we all know, the most likely reason for the separating of the lemurs was Continental Drift. Also because they thought that the roads were paved with cheese in India. The problem is, Continental Drift, as a scientific concept, wasn't established until 1912. That means there was a full 40 years in between that people could plug in whatever wacky bullshit they wanted into the theory of Lemuria. And we're going to see that that's a main theme in the book, The Lost Land of Lemuria, that when they said, what's interesting, I think there's a fascination with lost continents. And we're going to see it again and again.

Because when you have a, we have expanded as a race to all corners of the world. There's no mysteries anymore. There's no hidden frontiers anymore. So when you have a really good idea of being like, well, where do we put all of our weird esoteric thought? We'll put it in a fake island that doesn't exist anymore. And would you say it blew up? Yeah, I like it. Well, one of the first people to plug that information in was Hitler's favorite occultist, Madame Helena Blavatsky. She was really trying to play down that tag line. What's that? Hitler's favorite occultist? Let's just say, let's just say a lot of people liked me. Okay, let's just say. And like any good bullshitter, Blavatsky was a genius

at inserting just enough science into her beliefs to make it all sound plausible, especially in 1888 when she wrote about all this in her book, The Secret Doctrine. Now, remember, The Secret Doctrine is the basis for all Western occultism that exists, right? It's like all of the tidbits, every single idea of ancient aliens, all of this was kind of buried in this gigantic rambling book that if you attempt to read again, you're just going to be stupid afterwards. You're just going to end up like it's what it's becoming to me. I can't find my keys ever. I'm filled up to that my receding hairline with Lemuria facts, and I just can't find the dog shit bags. I'm walking around looking for the dog shit bags. That'll happen.

That'll happen. It happens all the time. Blavatsky. Blavatsky. Not an attractive last name. Sounds like when John Candy played his sister in Nothing but Trouble, drink, finish your beer unless you're driving. That's a Nothing but Trouble reference. And guess what? We're bringing that Rotten Tomatoes meter up to 22%. We're doing a change.org petition on page seven. That's our celebrity entertainment show to bring the Rotten Tomatoes score of Nothing but Trouble from 8% to 22%. John Candy plays four characters. Come on. He plays two characters. Dan Akroy plays two characters. Who's Bobo and Dobo? Well, Dan Akroy plays Bobo. I can't remember the guy that played Little Devil. He's lost to the same time. The other guy

was just some guy that was on the only other movie he was in was Ghostbusters and he played a bit part of that. And then I do believe he could get to us. Oh, really? Yeah. 22% Rotten Tomatoes. Get that number up there in honor of the guy who played, what was it, Little Devil? Little Devil. And back to Blavatsky and the Nazis and all the pseudoscientific bullshit. By extension, the Nazis took all this shit a step further. Hitler just didn't spend a lot of time in his speeches talking about the egg-laying hermaphrodites, who we'll get to later. Do you think he crossed it out of every speech? He's just like, ah, I'm gonna work it out. I said it again. This is Orph's message. Orph's message. Wait a second.

Can we say the Jews lays the eggs? No, Hitler. No, I mean, I don't. It's a fun idea. We all agree it's a fun idea, don't we? Well, so if you'll remember from our Nazi occult episodes, Blavatsky had quite a bit to say about the so-called root races. The first was composed of etheric energy, naturally called the astral etheric race. They would reproduce by dividing, like amoeba. Also called the Polarians. And they were soft and they could take the shape of any animal that they liked. And they did that as a hobby. And all of this is real. They're not just made up. Wow. I think I would be a hedgehog. You could be. I could see that because you're prickly on the outside, but on the inside, you're soft and vulnerable.

You get a soft belly. That's very true. Well, from the astral etheric race came the Hyper Boreans. Hyper Boreans. Hyper Boreans. We had a long argument about this on the phone yesterday. It's Hyper Boreans. Hyper Boreans. It's H-Y-P-E-R-B-O-R-E-A-N-S. Hyper Boreans. You're saying Hyper Boreans. What are you saying, Henry? Hyper Boreans. Marcus, don't get mad at me. I think technically, Henry is, because it's the O. You know what, you know what? You get for that. I got a full titty slap. A full titty slap. Congratulations to myself. Well, the Hyper Boreans lived in the cold climate areas of Earth, like Greenland, Iceland, Scandinavia, and Northern Canada. Now, remember, when they talk about the root races, the idea is that human kinds have been,

like, there was a concept that the Earth was a giant conscious entity, that energies would, we came and sort of receded by intelligence just from the universe, right? So this is Bovatsky's idea. So we went through these root stages, and basically this is about the fate of mankind. We're supposed to get to the seventh race of human, which is then we would truly surpass, we would become truly evolved, and be able to jump from Earth and become pure energy. Oh, okay. Well, let's go back to the second race. Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, when the second race existed, the Earth had not yet tilted on its axis. So therefore, the entire planet was a tropical paradise. Oh, that's kind of fun. But instead of

being ethereal, the Hyper Boreans were fleshy with golden yellow skin. Yeah. Is it weird? It makes me think of a sun choke, and I like them. Well, they called themselves the Kimpersia, and they reproduced more like plants through budding. Okay. That's so not as fun as the other ones. Not as fun. Well, it might be more fun. Budding sounds better than dividing. Well, they just, they hadn't invented fucking yet. And that brings us to the third race, Lemurians. Here's where things get weird. This is where it gets weird. Yes. Okay. So so far it's been normal. At first, the Lemurians were just beings of jelly, but they eventually jelly. Stop dipping your crackers in me. You are a being of jelly. I will dip my cracker in that.

That would be fucking, you just like show your loose skin. You and I both have the bottom loose skin and just go like, come dip your crackles in my jelly. And they have to say yes, because they're celebrating us. That's right. Well, they eventually morphed into something much more solid. According to crystallinks.com, Blavatsky believed that the first Lemurians were ape-like egg-laying hermaphrodites who communicated by mental telepathy through a literal third eye. And they also had an eye on the back of their heads that could see the future. That's kind of strange. That's cool, though. All real. Yeah. Four eyes. Yeah. And eventually they developed into more acceptable looking human-like characters after they separated the sexes, which led to sex due to their constant

desire to be hermaphrodites again, which led to their downfall. Now this seems to be where Blavatsky's interpretations of Lemuria ends. And of course, she continued with the Atlanians as the fourth race and the Aryans as the fifth, given the Nazis their dumb shit nerdy background story that always seems to stop just short of the three eyed apes. But that was by no means the last interpretation of Sklatter's scientific theory. Two years before Blavatsky, a different theory using a different name for the continent was put forth by an archaeologist named Augustus Lepongion. Lepongion! It means August the plunger. Wow. You gotta trust this guy so far. Why do you have to trust Lepongion? With a name like the Lepongion? What is it? Lepongion! Lepongion!

You would be the biggest stinkiest mark in France because every single time we bring up a fucking French name, they're all like, oh, like it's fancy like they no more. They don't no more. They're one of the first societies. Lepongion claimed that he had deciphered ancient Mayan writings that proved that the Mayans had originated from the lost civilization of Mu spelled Mu. And it wasn't just the Mayans either. The great Egyptian age is but a remnant of the Lemurian culture. And according to Lepongion, the queen of the Moos, named Queen Mu, spelled M-O-O, traveled which you do not appreciate that they that they change that name in the future because that's the shape. Queen Mu traveled to Egypt where she became known as the goddess Isis. And all this was

outlined in Lepongion's book, Queen Mu and the Ejection Sphinx. Yeah. Yes. Sounds like the world's like worst erotica. It does. I traveled all the way from the land of Mu just to get my toes sucked by you, ferro big dickamus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ferro big dickamus. I'm a suck on your big old feet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Suck on my feet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Shutting us off. You wouldn't believe the book I was reading in the car wash today, Becky. It was pretty intense stuff. I got I got some ideas for the bedroom if we had to track. Well, unfortunately for the plongion, his translation of the Mayan language

was completely and totally wrong. His biggest mistake was using letters that didn't even exist as he completely confused language with simple decoration. Yes, he took drawings. It's like he read a thing of Calvin and Hobbes. And it has been like magic tigers everywhere. Furthermore, the plongion didn't even translate it himself.

He outsourced it to a guy named Brejeu de Borberg. De Borberg? De Borberg. Okay. Borberg! And Borberg obviously had no idea what he was doing as well. According to one of his ancestors, Borberg was not translating because he knew the language.

He was just translating from a spirit that was speaking through him, who assured Borberg that he definitely knew what was going on. Yeah, because the spirit inside always have to be super confident about their message because they know for themselves that they don't exist. Yep.

I like it though. So it's a series of make-em-ups. It really is, man. It always has been. That's a problem. I'm sitting here constantly reading, trying to like bring all the circle back, trying to understand more and more.

And I was like, oh yeah. All this is fucking made up by God, man, an idiot. Isn't that how something gets created though? You have to make it. And then this is bringing it higher. There's actual history though that we can look to as what happened in the past. Alternative facts.

Yeah, facts are useless, Marcus. Welcome to 2017. Well, it wasn't until decades later that the document Laplogneum based his Moe findings on was properly translated, after which it was found to be nonsense garbage. But in the interval, a British inventor named James Churchward

picked up the ball and ran with it as fast as he could, laying the framework for the lost civilization that is still built upon to this day. Cool. And these books were pretty popular in the day. Yeah. That was the reason why it gained a lot of traction is because people were really fascinated

with lost content. So these fake, these books filled with bullshit, not unlike what we have read on the show for other topics, get out there and like, if you don't believe in alien abductions, it's the equivalent of Whitley Shriever's Communion. Where it was like, these books would come out and they would go fucking viral

and a bunch of people would buy them. And then that's how the rumors stay alive. Yeah. Well, why wouldn't there be a lost continent though? Sunk down there. Because there's no evidence for it. There's no evidence for it. It's not explored.

The ocean's not explored. 98% they say not explored. That is true. You all know my other science facts? What is it? This is the only planet currently occupied by robots. Interesting. There's no human beings.

So that's like the planting, they're seeding robots on Mars. And then they will have a future. Let them have it. Anyway, those are my two science facts. Well, at the age. One's more of a question. Yeah.

At the age of 75, James Churchward wrote an article in the New York American newspaper about the lost continent of Mu. In his interpretation, Mu was located in the Pacific Ocean, not the Indian. For example, Hawaii and Easter Island are but a remnant of the Mu culture. So after the article, Churchward wrote a five volume series

on the subject of Mu. The first was the lost continent of Mu, in which Churchward claimed that the biblical Garden of Eden was actually Mu. He called it the motherland of man. But this is also at the time when they were having a massive, like there was a movement saying

that the Garden of Eden was from China. And that's just even believing that there was a goddamn Garden of Eden. Right. Which is, this was a big thing that he said, this was big. I found the Garden of Eden, but you have to first believe that that's real.

And at the time, they're all like, oh yeah. Oh yeah, it was a thing. I am quite stunned. There is no fast food buffet chain called Garden of Eden, E-A-T-I-N. But also, did you guys see Pat Robertson, the grandfather of lunacy on the religious end? He came against the 6,000 year old earth recently.

Very bizarre saying that he doesn't believe in Garden of Eden. Really? Very bizarre to you. Anyway, well after the lost continent of Mu came the children of Mu, the sacred symbols of Mu, the cosmic forces of Mu,

and the second book of the cosmic forces of Mu. Gotta have that fifth book in there. The problem is it's always the fifth book is when the series goes bad. Like the God Emperor of Dune. It's always the fifth book. Well, honestly, I liked God Emperor of Dune. But there's a lot of people,

but the fifth book is when the space Jews came in to Dune as well. So that's, it's a lot of stuff. And the orgasm witches, that was the other one where the guy's dick was too strong to be controlled by the orgasm witches. Huh, yeah, that's, I thought that was where it just got

super anti-Semitic there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's just again, it got Semetic. It's this guy having the same bit. Yeah, it's not anti-Semitic at all. Just because they exist doesn't make it anti-Semitic. Yeah, I didn't say the Jews came and aborted all of the children super, super late.

It's like, it's not, they didn't come and steal. You know, like, they were just there. They were just a part of the tapestry. Well, one of Churchward's main claims and the one that modern Lemurian scholars used the most was that Mu was the home of an advanced civilization called the Nakal. And according to Churchward,

about a thousand years before Lemuria sank, two Lemurians named Ai and Tia decided to share the secrets of immortality and opened up the Nakal Mystery School. Cool. They taught that immortality was achieved through the process of ascension, making Ai and Tia the first ascended masters.

Henry, you have much more to say about the ascended masters. There's a lot to unpack when it comes to the ascended masters. This was a thing I went down, I went down a long rabbit hole of and it's a lot of believing that people using charms and different things going ding dong ding and sitting on basalt. It's a lot of basalt chairs.

A lot of basalt is used in this for some reason. Portable atomic accelerators that they're also called. They sit on a box that they call the portable atomic accelerator and they talk to alien intelligences that tell them information about the past. The ascended masters and the end is just how much are you willing to believe a 50-year-old woman

who up until this point has not had a job? Because there's several whole religions based upon ascended masters. There's the I Am Society, which does believe it and it's also the I Am Society believing a thing called the Bridge to Freedom, which I do believe L. Ron Hubbard used during his occult teachings.

Because this during the 1950s, this was a side thing to what would be the birth of Scientology was a lot of this. People talking to alien intelligences and believing they're getting information that we couldn't possibly know without talking to aliens. All right, and also just to add my point of view,

the Ascension, it's also a tag team in the WWE right now. They're kind of a poor man's legion of doom. This is not the place for that. That is my personal opinion. They're no animal or hawk, but they're trying to be and we'll give them some credit for that. But through ascended masters, we'll meet people such as High Priest Germain,

Adama, who's another one, and then we have a lot of people, Aurelia Louise Jones, if you just want to go over to the Mount Chester Light Publishing Company and see all of the various where she has to sell, the meditation things that she could sell in order to, you have to give her money to talk to the ascended masters. I did just fast forward to you like 20 years

when you're the pitch man for that website and that's the exact energy and the emotion you give to it. I will definitely go through a sheer yet shiny robe phase where I wear tiaras with crystals and then it will happen. So the big question here, how did Churchward know all this? The big question here is, so how did Churchward know all this? My only job on this show is to ask them, can I just do something?

Well, back in the late 19th century, Churchward was in India participating in famine relief work. There, he met a Hindu priest whose name remains a mystery. They called me Ice Cream. Let's just, we'll just skip naming you in the book. But my name is Ice Cream. That's kind of funny. Much joy have I.

Everybody say, they come to village and everybody say, Ice Cream for Ice Cream. And I hear them and sometimes I say, please stop screaming for Ice Cream so that I may sleep. We're gonna rename him, his name remains a mystery. The long one, but that's great. Well, that priest told Churchward that he was privy to knowledge of a lost civilization.

The Nicole, and in addition to that, the priest even knew the Nicole's dead language, meaning the priest could interpret a series of stone tablets that also detailed the Nicole's history. Now, at first, the priest had no desire to share the information with Churchward. No, you get no.

No, I certainly will show it to you, Mr. Churchward. Never, ever. But somehow, Churchward, according to his book, tricked the priest into showing him the tablets and teaching him the dead language. Hey, Ice Cream. Yes, Ice Cream. You'll find him, Mr. Churchward.

Here's five bucks. He had all of my secrets. Modern economic trickery. From there, Churchward was able to put what he learned from the priest together with other various ancient carvings and symbols from ancient civilizations, and boom, you gotta move. Boom.

Well, there's a problem is that he had two tablets, the Nicole tablets, that were supposed to tell this whole story, and no one could see him. And they were put in a basement that no other white man was ever allowed to go into. And so they were kept separate always. And so we just made sure, I mean,

and this is just about trusting the work that Churchward did. And I think that in the end, we're doing him a disservice by not trusting him. I'm trusting him. I also just imagined, you know, my wife giving birth to our first child, and then the doctor saying, boom, you gotta move. And I punched the doctor in his face.

But even though there was trickery involved between Churchward and the priest, the priest eventually became Churchward's guru, and the two were able to communicate. Or like a guru. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go eat at this new place called Garden of Eden. You're not helping, you're not helping

the audience understand. Eventually the two were able to communicate with each other using what Churchward called, quote, cosmic telegraphy. Like how the mice talk to each other and Fival goes west. It's another Fival reference for some reason. I love Fival, I love Fival. Well, the priest and Churchward, they also, they had adventures together.

They would travel back in time together to visit previous incarnations of themselves. Yeah, that's kind of cute. It's like the high school episodes of a sitcom in like a third season. When they go back they'll have afros. Yeah, that's true. Like when Monica would go back and visit herself

when she was overweight. Yeah. Remember that? I remember that. But why would you want to go back and visit yourself? Isn't that a little, that's a little self-centered. Well, you're not visiting yourself, you're visiting previous incarnations of yourself.

So it is yourself, but also not yourself. Yeah, back when you were like the dope-iest giraffe of the tribe. Or back when you were the drunkest shaman in the village. I'll never forget the day I realized I was too tall for society. I scraped the top of my head on the bottom of a stop sign. And I swear to God, I was bald at the time

because we all shaved our heads for football in seventh grade. And I had a streak of blood and scar. And I was like, I'm not meant for the world. And then I realized I can't walk underneath stop signs. Why do I also feel that the entire Lemuria saga up to this point, which Churchward, which Churchward was just one of the subjects

that one of like, you know how they do like the torture sessions at the end of impractical jokers? That it was just the Nicole Brothers version of impractical jokers, where it just, he had the three brothers on the other side, like watching through a television, just going like, okay, okay, now tell him, tell him that they were fucking blobs.

I didn't know how to fuck yet. He has to keep his straight face. Okay, now lick the hot dog and try to sell it to you. Lick the hot dog in front of him and yeah, yep, and then try to sell it to them. Try to sell it to them. Those guys are actually very sweet. I love them.

Impractical jokers. That is my guiltyest pleasure. So we can all agree that Moe's a pretty fucking goofy name for a lost civilization, right? Sure. Yeah. Well, Mystics agreed. And by the mid-20th century,

those people, specifically Edgar Cayce, began to once again refer to it as Lemuria, conveniently ignoring that the origin of the name was owed to that adorable prosimian called the lemur. Wow, we should have given some credit back to the lemurs. At some point, we're forgetting about the lemurs of this whole fucking thing.

So over the years, dozens, if not hundreds, of writers and angel-fired domain dwellers have made contributions to the story of Lemuria. Now things may get a little murky from here on out, okay. Oh my God. Now it's murky? Now see how that's possible. Yeah, it's been pretty clean water so far.

Nice and clear, see to the bottom of it. We're gonna try our best to keep it on track, though. Yes, yes. So I'm gonna be laser focused. I swear to God, dog meat. I'm gonna be super laser focused. Let's try to really tell the story. Gordon Michael Scalion.

Said dumb name. Bad already bad. He already very bad. You just derailed it because his name is a food. It's already done. You're bad. It just changed the name. You can't be a type of onion and have me expect to take you,

sir. Literally 14 seconds ago, laser focused. This guy's got a last name that sounds like a food. Anyway, let's talk about that for 10 minutes. Well, also his name is Gordon Dash Michael, which means he demands to be called Gordon Michael at all times. Gordon Michael, and yes, it is Scalion like the onion.

Smell me. Just smell me. Do I smell like an onion? Well, he said that the Lemurians began as a projection of 144 soul groups comprised of 33 million souls from Mars, the Pleiades, and Sirius. Some chose to live in the water, but others went for the plant mineral or animal kingdoms.

Those who went with the animal kingdom took the space above ground and hung out with the giant's elves and presumably gnomes that already existed on earth before the 144 soul groups arrived. That's where you want to be. Yeah. Yeah, you bet there were fucking gnomes. Oh my.

Yeah, you know what I love about these blobs? I could fucking cram my whole tiny dick into one of them. And they all love it. They say, oh yeah, you fucking blob. You're taking all the way down to my fucking berries. Wow, Terry the Gnome making an appearance out of nowhere. Terry, it's been so long.

What have you been up to? This is my Vegas, baby, yeah. Wow, Terry the Gnome. What have you been up to? Can I just ask you one question? Fucking drinking, smoking, and being small. Terry the Gnome, wow. So the above ground Lemurians were nine feet tall

and had scaly skin that changed from blue to green depending on the season. They had long oval faces, big eyes with vertical pupils and breathed through their skin. Others say that Lemuria was inhabited by a wide array of species, including the angelic, extraterrestrial, and elemental varieties. And since these creatures were more connected

to the earth than we are, they lived on average about 20 to 30,000 years. Wow. All of this is true. And again, remember, this does sort of fit into a lot of other stories about ancient aliens because this is kind of, this is pre-pre-prehistory. This is even before the Sumerians.

What we're looking at is this is the first experiment of the aliens and whatever life was on earth at the time, which is this weird primitive Lemurian fern gully-like life that they come and speak to. Like everything is the poor unfortunate souls from a little mermaid and they're all living on the earth and aliens are just hanging out with them, thinking, oh, this is super cool.

We're going to give them a bunch of shit. We're going to teach them about how to live and then things go bad, but we'll get into that. And Ursula is like Queen Mu. You're all comes together. Yes, yes, Kissel. You are making fun, but technically you are correct. No, because you're using Disney references,

so I understand. Well, the reason why the Lemurians live for so long was because if they got sick, they could realign their energies, cleanse their chakras, and heal themselves, although sometimes they needed the help of a planter animal friend. Ugh. That's what you're going to do to be a little plant doctor.

I just imagine most shuddering in their weird cloaca pussies being like, this is the only way to heal. And just the poor little hedgehogs running around just being like, I sure wish I didn't have to always fuck these things back into health. It's a tough time, yeah. Now, in all these different species mixed together, they became the Lemurian peoples.

Still others say that the Lemurians started off as fifth dimensional beings. As they were of the fifth dimension, they had no memory to speak of, and since they had no memory, they had no language, and instead communicated with each other using natural sounds. What does that mean?

Ugh. Ugh. What's that? The Garden of Eaton is $3.99. All you can eat on Fridays. Well, eventually they did develop a language, and YouTube is full of people who know how to channel it. Yeah, it's easy, Marcus.

You should the fucking have a moment. If we weren't so stressed out all the time and constantly working, we too could learn how to contact Lemuria. All right. That is true. Now, here is an example of the Lemurian language called Solara Maru, as it was spoken

thousands upon thousands of years ago. If you can't tell, she's a woman wearing a vest. Just so you know, she's wearing a vest. Yeah. Not just, no, she could be Greek. She could be Italian. Honestly, just looking at her. And you know she says she's Lemuria.

This goes on for another minute and a half. There is something. It's comforting. It's a comforting sound. It's a German in a strange way, isn't it? Doesn't it sound a little German? I don't find German to be comforting. No, I understand that.

But when you say it like this, well, that's a good point. What I will say about, she just make a noise. Yeah? Oh, come on, man. You were around speaking in tongues plenty. I know. I got kicked out of school because I couldn't do it. It's improvised.

Yeah, you do. You just go, ha, ma, na, ma, na, ma, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And then you pass speaking in tongues class, which I literally had a class called speaking in tongues class. Really? Oh, yeah.

Try it. I hate this fucking school. I don't believe anything about this religion. I hate my parents for sending me here. I will be leaving. It's allowed. It's allowed. He could say it is speaking in tongues class.

And now we'll learn where the clitoris is. They did not have that class at the Christian school I went to. I'll tell you that. So as far as animal life on Lemuria went, the only life forms that had developed at the time were birds, amphibians, and primitive mammals. However, all of them were giant in size. So big parrots, big frogs, big rats.

I just call them rats, frogs, and parrots because I'm big. It's kind of fun and cute, though, again. It's cute that, yeah, you would fit it right out there, but you would be small to them. I know. That's what I'm kind of thinking. That's kind of a fantasy of mine. The people of Lemuria could also communicate

telepathically with dolphins using the dolphin's own language called the dolphin codes. Yeah, which is also a book, just all written in a. Soon to come up, I, Dan Brown. The Miami Dolphins should use a little bit of that dolphin code so they could score a touchdown. No sports talk here. So then they can score touchdowns better

if they have their dolphin. The ball of Muray Exposé. Then they're playing the ravens, and the ravens are out there. Ka-ka-ka-ka. They're like, you know. Well, the ravens and the Baltimore ravens are about the size of the ravens

that would be on Lemuria. Yeah, yeah. Queen Moo. Now these guys were also equipped with what is known as a Coondabuffer. A Coondabuffer, according to Gnostic esoteric study WorkAIDS.blogspot.com, was a physical organ located on the human coccyx.

Really? Coccyx. My favorite part of the body. What exactly does a Coondabuffer do? Thank you for throwing it to me, don't me? I would say the Coondabuffer was in the coccyx. And what it did was the Lemurian priest scientists, which may or may not have been.

Once Lemurians got solid, there's a lot of talk that the priests slash scientists slash rulers of Lemuria were actually aliens. They were helping them become solid. So one thing that they did was they put a Coondabuffer into their bodies. And what the Coondabuffer would do is they knew at any point they could release their physical

form and join with Nirvana, join with the everlasting peace and paradise that is the spiritual realm. But a part of what they had to do in order to reach them up to the level philosophically and spiritually where they needed to properly inhabit the spirit realm, they had to make them obsessed with the material world, which what the Coondabuffer did. It was a blobule in you that made you like TV,

that made you like the circus, all the other stuff like that. Make you like iTunes, all that kind of shit. It's a blinder, maybe. Well, unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. And Lemuria was no different. Oh, no. Because this is paradise, right? This was, again, lemurs are everywhere.

Terry the Gnome is up inside of a big, like, weird, amoeba-like character. Giant parents, it's a lot of like, boop, boop, boop, boop. There's a lot, I still use a little mermaid. But I imagine it all just sounds like the little mermaid. It's just like fun and dancing and shit. But the problem is, is that with the Coondabuffers, it got them too into the fucking physical stuff

that they like material goods. And that's what punished them in the end. Well, that's one theory as to why things ended. And there are plenty of different theories as to how and why the entire continent of Lemuria disappeared forever. But most of them have to do with Lemuria's biggest rival, Atlantis. Oh.

Yeah, this is like the rich kid camp or fat kid camp. Technically, fat kid camp, more fun, I'm going to say. Always. Yeah. Now, Lemuria was in the Pacific West Side. And Atlantis was in the Atlantic East Side. Tupac versus Biggie. This is the one on the beginning.

And even today, there are Atlantis people and Lemuria people, and they absolutely hate each other. And the Atlantis and Lemuria divide is for people that are broken, that can't. And it's really just about what you Google first. If you look up Lemuria tales, you get a bunch of people saying Atlantis is the source of the problems, which is the reason why the destruction of the Muria happened.

If you say Atlantis fables and tales, it says Lemuria is the source of the problem all they cared about was material goods. I see. All right. Well, at any rate, the general consensus of the Lemuria side is that the Lemurians wanted to leave the primitive races of men

that were developing alone without any oversight. This was about 25,000 years ago. But the degenerate Atlanteans. Wow, Marcus. I'm not calling that. That's from TheGraderPicture.com. OK. Wow.

Yeah. There's a lot of research. I know, I see a lot of research. Well, they thought that it was their job to rule over all as they believed themselves to be superior. Atlantis knows best, if you will. And it was also rumored that the Atlanteans were dealing in human slaves.

Well, they were using them for work. Because at the time, they had taken a place in. What do you think they're using for him? They were past them. It's really hard to say, because it's not really slavery if you really truly are a volitionarily past. Like, it's not like humans deciding you are. And here we have Henry Zabrowski.

He's on the Olympic. What's he playing here? Oh, he's playing the Slippery Slope. Let's see here. And there he goes, down the Slippery's gold medal winner, Henry Zabrowski, going down. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So when Lemuria refused to fall in line,

the most evil organization Atlantis had, the Sons of Belial, worked with their extraterrestrial friends who were either the reptoids or the dinoids or some combination of the two to destroy Lemuria forever. And that's important to understand. Is that Pleiadians were the ones mixing up with Lemurians. But the reptilians were on Atlantis. OK.

There's a part of it. And they're also deciding whether or not. The other problem is there's a lot of talk about whether or not Lemuria and Atlantis were actually a part of the same network. And if they were different city states of a one giant country, or if they were entirely separate. That's your Minneapolis, St. Paul analogy.

Yes. Yeah, but Minneapolis and St. Paul, if there was an entire continent in between the two. But we'll just say Minnesota is the continent. Well, the Atlanteans and the reptoids accomplished the destruction of Lemuria using the moon. God damn it. Specifically, they accomplished this using Earth's second moon,

as, at the time, Earth had two moons. Malbec. Which is what it was called. No, Malbec's something totally different. Malbec was a planet in the solar system that was destroyed. Between Jupiter and Mars. Is now the asteroid belt. Well, this episode's making me want to drink some Malbec.

I'll tell you that. It's a wine joke. That's for our more wine listeners there. So what the Atlanteans did, assisted by their alien friends, was first to pull the moon into our atmosphere above Lemuria. But they did it at night when everyone was asleep. But that's when the moon is awake.

Yeah, but that's when it's there. That's when you can get at it easily. There's a lasso involved in this story. I think I read a fictional children's book back in the day. It's Magnus. How do they work? So once moon two was in the right position, the Atlanteans blew it up, raining moon chunks

all over Lemuria. Fuck yeah, dude. That's how you fucking do sip, dude, man. Fucking moon chunks, bro. So the ensuing earthquakes caused by these moon chunks ignited Lemuria's underground gas fields, which caused more earthquakes and volcano eruptions, and so on and so forth, which caused the entire continent

to sink into the Pacific or Indian Ocean, depending on what you believe. Which is interesting, because that was a part of Churchward's actual scientific explanation for why Lemuria sunk, which is that seismic activity caused lava to reach these giant gas pockets that exploded underneath it. So that's them looping back in pseudoscience

into their focales. Well, after Lemuria went down, the reptoids took our other moon away and, as we know, replaced it with an artificial hollow structure that still hangs in the sky to this day. I did not know that. Yes, you did not need to. You didn't pay any fucking attention

during our hollow moon episode. I actually don't. I feel I put cotton balls in the headphones, and it's all a lie. I'm listening to the AM Talk radio right now. Yeah, Rush Limbaugh has a lot to say right now. Steve Winwood. Well, there is, of course, another story

when it comes to the destruction of Lemuria. The other story, according to themindunleashed.com, starts about 14,000 years ago. According to them, the high priest of Lemuria got privy to some information that a great cataclysm was coming, namely, the great flood of yore. And by about to come, I mean, within the following 2,000 to 3,000 years, give or take.

They have plenty of time. To tell everybody. But they didn't, which is a thing that's interesting. But a part of you remember, Lemuria is a part of the idea of Lemuria, is that it's supposed to explain why every single culture, or quote unquote every single culture, has pyramids, believes in the flood, tail,

believes all the stuff. So basically, it's that this has gone on since the very beginning. So what is the most up-to-date version of Lemuria's story is that these priests knew that the flood was coming. And so what they did is that because Lemuria is such a peaceful era, it's such a peaceful era and perfect, and past this technology-wise, they're like, OK,

those of us in the know need to hide all the information that's important so it can survive the flood. And the place they hid that information in was us. They hid it in humans. In the cells of humans, where it could be unlocked. In my body. Well, they stored a lot of it in there.

My goodness gracious. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, yeah, it can be heard miles and miles around. Look at that. Well, I was going to say they put it up their butts, but they kind of did it in a strange way. So it's in our DNA. So the more we unravel our DNA, is that right, or am I right?

It has to be unlocked through crystals. Maybe it's a paywall. Like a $4.99 paywall. It is sort of like a payroll. There's a lot of information starting. What part of the crystals play in all this? I could never really figure that out. Well, there's a lot of different stuff

when it comes to crystals. The idea is they use basalt again, and then they could charge it using their prayers. And there's another group called the Aetherius group that is from the late 90s. So the 50s that it goes into now, into, oh, God, into our time period, they put their hands on the crystals. And they go, shumma-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

And then they put the information in the crystals, and they bury them. All right, so we've got to find the crystals. Maybe they're in a skull. Oh, don't even get it started on the fucking thing. The crystal skulls also play a part in this. They do? Yeah, they do.

We just didn't get it. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that doesn't get into this. That we couldn't cram into this episode. Because it's already longer than it should be. Technically, the episode's five minutes long, except there's a story of Lemuria. It didn't exist. Hi, everybody.

Donate to Patreon. And so what you have to do is put stuff into it. Fill it up, fill it in, yeah. Fill it up. There it is. So according to TheMindAndLeash.com, and many other sources, the Lemurians went underground, waited out the flood, then emerged again,

and that's where Native Americans come from. Very interesting, though, because I was thinking Chief Moon Chunks would be a fun name. It would really be fun. Chief Moon Chunks would be a lot of fun, but Chief Moon Chunks has been dabbling too hard and ye olde piece of pipe him, and he can't run the meetings like he used to because he gets really just those meetings.

Well, lemurianconnection.com takes it in a different direction. They say that when the flood was imminent, the Lemurians petitioned Shambhala the Lesser of the Agartha Network for permission to prevent a poor guy. Shambhala the Lesser of the Agartha Network? This is just, that's unfortunate. Listen, they should call me Shambhala the Lesser,

but I will say it is better than my friend Shambhala the Fatter. I think that's fine. I take it. I will take it. Well, he was petitioned by the Lemurians to build a city under Mount Chasta in California, so they could escape the big flood that was coming.

Remember, during all this time, the Lemurians are sort of very like the Democrats. They believe in big government. They believe in the concept of a lot of bureaucratic red tape. So you've got to talk to a lot of people before you get permission to build a fifth dimension of different, it's at a vibration that we can't see underneath a mountain.

You've got to get like, it was more like a co-op board type of thing, because they had to petition both the Agartha Network and the Galactic Federation of Planets before they could gain admission to the underground tunnels. I think there's too much bureaucracy. There's too much red tape. But when it comes to building another nation or world,

let's talk to people. Let's get a consensus. I think you should talk to people. No, then we can go forward. Let's keep everyone in the know. But they had to prove the fact that they were not going to commit war at all. They couldn't be aggressive at all.

And then somehow, I don't know, there's a lot of yada, yada, yada here, but they proved it. And then they managed it, and then they were allowed to build a fake real city underground at Mount Chasta. And that city that they constructed was called Talos. And they built that city using their mastery of energy, sound, vibration, and crystals.

No Irish, huh? No Irish. That's amazing. Now, Talos was all ready to go by the time the flood came, with room for only about 200,000 of Lemuria's 63 million people, making it kind of like alternative two that we covered in the Bill Cooper episode. But even then, only 25,000 made it down.

Apparently, the entire continent of Lemuria sank overnight, with most Lemurians sleeping through the whole thing. See, even though they had 3,000 years to prepare, it still happened just a teensy bit earlier than they thought. 3,000 years of pre-production. And it still goes shit. So just be like, oh, a busy day at work there

building this little world. I got everything. Oh, shit, I got an extra cork in my pocket. I wonder what I was supposed to do with this cork. Meanwhile, just a smoke. Oh, man, slowly floods. But as the continent went down, the priests left behind did their best to calm their people.

They strategically posted up small groups of themselves around the continent and, like the musicians on the Titanic, sang one last song as the ship went down. That song has traveled down through the millennia and is still sung today. You know it better as Old Langzine. The priests and the musicians that accompanied them sang the old holiday classic until the water filled

their mouths, making it the last song ever heard on the continent of Lemuria. But be assured, the power of that song shall someday return. As said on the lemurianconnection.com, quote, Hear this well in your heart, my friends, these next couple sentences. Before our beloved Lemuria sank completely, it was prophesized that one day, in some far distant future,

many of us will gather again as a group and sing this song again with the absolute knowingness that the Earth's victory is won. There will be a man named Dick Clark, who each year will sing this song, and we will know that we are true. Absolutely, Dick Clark. Missed when he was watching the ball drop, huh? Well, one of the how Old Langzine got to present day

is because the druids were a part of the Lemurian people. And so the druids kept the song going throughout the years. They gave it to the Irish. And they sing. Yeah, they sing, they get drunk, and they sing, and they fucking, they got lucky sticks, and weird little shorts, and they love it. Great people.

And according to a spirit guide from the seventh dimension named Kirayel, who communicates through a guy named Fred, who runs monthly long distance healing workshops at kirayel.com, you can hear Old Langzine whenever you want. He said, quote, if you want to hear that song, just pick up a dodecahedron, put it to your ears, and listen to it. You will hear God's song when your Lemurian energy is

raised to its apex. You won't need a crystal to hear that song. I got this thing. I got Spotify. Have you heard of Spotify? What? Yeah, it plays on. Oh, dang and shit.

There goes my memberships. But there's also, it sounds like a lot of times they're trying to keep this up because they're selling various books, and classes, and meditation classes, and different paraphernalia in order to give people with no skills a career. Because you have to look at, like, Aurelia Louise Jones surrounds Mount Shasta Light Publishing.

She has several books, like the Talos books. You wrote several books called The Book of Talos. She now heavily litigates against any website that puts up PDFs or versions of her book or any information she has, and you'll see them publish it. And then everyone profusely apologizes to Mount Shasta Light Publishing about how, like, because she said, basically, I'm going to sue you into the ground if you give

people my books for free. Oh, my, sue them right into Lemuria. Yeah, it seems not very Lemurian of her. One of those other people is Amber Wolf PhD, who can be found at amberwolfphd.com. Is she a PhD? I don't know, OK. It's in her website, but in her website.

And if she did, in fact, go to 12 years of school to be a PhD in horseshit, she deserves that degree and should put it in the URL of her website. She's a PhD. Amber also goes as Meleha, the, quote, last Lemurian priestess. Actually, it's the last Lemurian doctor priestess. Amber's racket is to convince people that they are, in fact, already Lemurian,

but that can only be unlocked using her products and services. This is what she writes on her website. If you wonder, was I Lemurian, your question is answered in the asking. Not everyone asks that question. There are millions of people who have no inkling of any past lives, never mind lives as specific as Lemurian.

Turn your question into an empowered statement. I was Lemurian, and you have a profound opportunity to explore the richness of your Lemurian. In other words, you wouldn't be asking if the answer wasn't already there waiting. Am I Lemurian? Of course, old soul. Man, do you want a powerful vacuum that really sucks up

all the dust? Yeah, then you might be an amway custer. Isn't that brilliant? I'll just say, I will buy a powerful vacuum that sucks up all the dust. People are very scared right now, and very sad. And it's very comforting to hear you immediately belong to a group.

And it's not like the Crips where you got to get beaten. All you got to do is just pay money. It's like a cult, but a cult light. And then you probably get your pussy eaten every once in a while by a guy named Daryl that looks like everyone's stepfather. Something must be going on in there. Who knows?

And also, it's not that expensive. What's on $40 or $50? $15, you can buy Amber Wolf PhD's Lemurian Codes for Activation Card Deck, which according to a website, are programmed through the crystalline Merkaba to connect the physical points on the body where the information of the star temple is stored waiting to evoke a Kashuk memory.

OK. Yeah, $15. It sounds a little complicated to do your own, but luckily, Amber also offers regular Lemurian Codes live activation seminars in Hawaii, where she lives. And even then, that sounds really nice. It sounds really nice. And it's only like $50.

All right. It's not huge. And if you want to try it, the next one is this December 19th from 3 to 5.30 PM. It only takes you two and a half hours? That's all this takes? That's it. Zip zaps up.

You got it. It's easy. And it's part of a three-day conference or seven-day extended retreat called Return to Lemuria. Ooh, let's go. Now, you know, we just barely. I would, first of all, also on the beach with all these people, I think it would be a lot of fun

to go hang out with these people. I think they get good and drunk. I think it's a funny crowd. There's a lot to unpack here. And we skip a lot of stuff, unfortunately, which is really even sad if you think about how much stuff there is. It's very complicated.

But I do think that it's important to question the beginning. There is a prehistory. There are a lot of stuff. So what we're talking about is to remember that this is all the Silmarillion of the planet Earth. All of this is the pre-story before the actual ancient alien story of Sumeria. So all of this is just stuff that's cool to know.

It's like, oh, you like ancient aliens? Then you better read. It's like an Amazon recommendation of stuff to read further that can just confuse you. And make you kind of upset. I'm not sure if it's cool to know. It's not like rock and roll history, or you're not learning a lot about like that.

If you want to bang out any woman or man alone in an Applebee's bar in Sacramento, California, that's how you do it. Applebee says advertising $1 Long Island ice teas every Friday in December. So they're just waiting for a lawsuit. Whatever brilliant general manager came up with that disgusting idea.

But yes, in that world, this after $3 worth of Long Island ice teas, maybe this conversation works. There has to be a limit. There has to be. It cannot be unlimited $1 Long Island. The information's inside ourselves. The information's right there to be learned. You just got to just go, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum, hum.

I tell you, I saw a dinosaur the other day. It wasn't even fucking there. I saw it. $4 Spent at Applebee's. That is how drunk you can get. All right, so are we done with Lemuria for now? But we'll come back to the subject later. I think we're done with Lemuria.

Forever and ever. Yeah, we're done with fucking Lemuria. Yeah, we're absolutely done. I don't want to ever read anything about Lemuria ever again. I've come up with this idea for the show. I wanted to do this episode. I think this is best one's kind of fun. Yeah, it's kind of fun.

It is fun, but we didn't get to the pre-Earth giants. We didn't get to space Jews. There's a lot of stuff in there because, technically, we could do Atlantis. Atlantis has a whole other sub-sect of bullshit that technically takes place after Lemuria. Yeah, we didn't even get to know what happened, why the destruction of Lemuria

is related to the destruction of Atlantis. This is what I'm saying. We've got to do another episode. And the eight sectors of Atlantis and how they didn't distribute the Lemurian priests correctly. Why did they? A center master's a whole other level of horseshit, too, and it connects to Scientology.

There's a lot of stuff that's in there, too. So, Brent, you just go do it. You look it up. You go research it and put it in your heads for a little bit. But, yeah, I just want to, one more science fact. If you put air in sand, it moves like water. I saw a video. You just saw that on Reddit a couple of days ago.

Yes, I did. Yes, I did. And a person sat in a hot cup made of sand. You just watched in this weird... It was so cool. It really was awesome. I mean, it's got to get up there, it makes a pearl somewhere.

Yeah, you look like one of those big sandworms from Dune who's filled with beer. Yeah, cork it up. You don't want to get any, you know. But anyway, all right, well, great episode. Very fun stuff. What do we want to do here? We want to thank everyone for Patreon.

Of course, yeah. Thank you so much for everyone that gave. Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. If you want to contribute to the show, we appreciate. Each and every one of you that gave, no matter how much or how little, thank you so much. We absolutely appreciate it. We love you with all of our hearts.

And also, in the holiday spirit, we got a T-shirt out right now. It's what is it, represent.com. Slash hail Satan. Slash hail Satan. It doesn't have to say hail Satan. We have one that says it, one that doesn't. But it's a really cool looking Santa Claus.

Not a, maybe more of a Krampus. It's satanic Santa Claus. It's a satanic Santa Claus. It's a satanic Santa Claus. It's more like Satan with a Santa Claus hat. Yep, so check out that shirt. Get out there and buy it. That's limited time only.

And all the shirts on our merch page. Oh yeah, just go to lastpodcastnetwork.com and check out our merch page. We got it. We've actually got a lot of new shirts. We've got individual shirts now. We've got, if you want a Ben shirt, you can get a Ben shirt. If you want a me shirt, you can get a me shirt.

If you want a Henry shirt, you can get a Henry shirt. And you can get all... Get a Henry shirt. Yeah, or just get all three for the whole family. I'd also like to do a shout out to Murderfist as a bunch of my sketch group Murderfist that I'm still technically a part of because I wouldn't ever say that I was not a part of it anymore.

It's like we have a bunch of new videos on our YouTube. If you ever want to check it out, I think they're really fun. And also, if you're in the LA area, I completely forgot I was doing the show. I have a show tomorrow night with Murderfist and Rubitalia, another old ancient sketch group that no one's ever heard of before. I love Rubitalia. Yeah, it's a place called The Clubhouse on Vermont Avenue

tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Saturday, December 2nd, if anybody wants to come out and check out that horseshit. That takes me back, man. I used to love the Murderfist, Rubitalia shows. The great shows. Like five, six years ago at the pit, at the old pit. Yeah, back in the magic days. I got a message here from Jessica Lovelace Chandler,

a comedian that I know from way back in the day. She wants to give a shout out to Jim Hummel. So I will say Jim Hummel, thanks for listening. We appreciate you. Well, thank you guys so much. Follow us on Twitter at Henry Loves You at Marcus Parks at Ben Kissel. Follow us on Instagram at Dr. Fantasty at Marcus Parks

at Ben Kissel, the number one. And follow us on all of the heinous bullshit at LP on the left. I wish that the fucking solar flare that what's going to destroy the internet would come. Yep. All right. And until then, it's our only means of making money. So be sure to support net neutrality.

Absolutely. And of course, the last podcast network. Abling is top at everything political. I know you can listen to me every night as well for this month on a serious channel 450. That's kind of fun too. Page seven, sex and the human activities. What else do we want to put?

Wizard of the Bruiser, Wizard of the Bruiser. Just all the shows. Just check them out. Escuela Sangre. Oh, yes. Yes. All right, everyone. Hail yourselves.

Try to say the name again. Try to say the name one more time. Marcus say it one time. Yes. No, you say it. No, you say it first. He's asking you. No, I know.

Escuela Sangre. Garden of Eaton. $3.99 Friday is all you could eat. That's going to be your chain. That's going to be your Chuck Berry chain of foods. Like when you're in your 50s. I'm like the Chuck Berry of last podcast. Do you know what Chuck Berry is in the bathroom?

Yeah, well, I'm. Garden of Eaton, $3.99 Fridays. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Hail Geen. Hail me, if you would. Beg your stilations.