Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 346: Mark Twitchell Part I - Favorite Duck of the Month

Episode Date: January 5, 2019

On the first of a two part series, we cover the life of Canadian killer Mark Twitchell, the mega-failure filmmaker who rose to prominence back in 2008 as the so-called "Dexter Killer", and is probably only surpassed by Elliot Rodger as the biggest douche we've ever covered. 

Hey, what's up everyone the boys of last podcast on the left here. I know yeah You want to tell you about our new special we filmed it in Chicago? It was an unbelievable experience, and you can enjoy it as well go to www.lastpodcastlive.com Don't forget to put the Www we're going in the way way back machine all the way to 2001 the technological glitch that we're trying to get and tech support for if it's still just put it in the www

www There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left That's when the cannon blows them started Oh Before we begin mm-hmm 2019 new year, man. Oh, yeah got a warm-up And this is a tail from up north so I just have I have to do a little bit of a Canadian warm-up Okay, just just slide into this have some poutine get into it That's the routine noise really

Oh Right hey, what do you got to do there what you got to do there is Gotta do there is very good gotta gotta put my runners on to go get a two-four Gotta get my runners on to go and get a two-four You know what you just you transformed into a Canadian right in front of my ears Incredible it's went flannel. I know I see that all right. Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone I am Ben Kissel with Marcus Parks. We also have a very Canadian Henry Zabrowski very loose-throated

Very loose-throated letting the sound come out here Hey, that's Canadian sex noise. Oh, really? Well, I didn't need to hear that happy new year everyone Happy new year. We want to thank everyone who went out and purchased our live show. It's still available WWW dot last last podcast live calm check it out Thanks for the great response. This is not just a commercial from 2007, but you must type in the W In order for the link to work that is true. Is it a tech glitch again? It is still a DIY? institution Indeed all right, so why is Henry Canadian you may be asking yourself well?

We are traveling to the great up north in this episode. We're gonna be talking about this guy He is extremely special as a character Mark tWitchell Mark tWitchell was a psychopathic Canadian cosplayer hack failure who was busted in 2008 for murdering a man named Johnny Altinger and attempting to murder another guy named Jill tetro. The only reason why I specifically mentioned that Mark tWitchell was a cosplayer is because that is at the heart of what tWitchell eventually became see tWitchell was actually pretty talented at cosplaying although he usually went from the more popular characters like Darth Maul and Wolverine and Bumblebee Okay, seriously. He did all of the road work of cosplaying. It was like he made people call him Logan That was like his nickname for himself and you can say because I don't know much about the inner world of cosplayers

Right, but I am certain that people have a bit of ire towards the hack Cosplayers only do the big names and it's not like I mean no from Captain Tinto for where with his pitchfork and he has like devil, you know like devil wings and like big tits Well, I know this is a fact of one of my favorite bartenders and friend of over there at Carmine's Pizza in Brooklyn He did he cosplays as deadshot and a lot of people say oh, are you deadpool? He says I'm not deadpool. I'm deadshot. That's pretty cool Deadshot's pretty cool But they do make fun of the people who are what they would call basic

basic cosplayers damn We're not maligning cosplayers in any way whatsoever because we know a lot of our listeners do it and we know that the vast majority of you Know that it isn't real. You're never actually gonna be a Jedi never gonna be a mutant never gonna be a transformer It's former, but it's still fun to pretend We were at Comic-Con in San Diego, and I think some people were just dressed not even up I think they were just like now finally two days out of the year. I don't get maligned for dressing like Whatever Well, it's just because the more obscure the better because then it you really know your shit

But I'd have met people that do cry knowing the knowledge that they were not born with a tail Yeah, like I know it's like an emotional thing. Oh, yeah, but Mark tWitchell couldn't ever really Accept that he was never gonna be any of those things see tWitchell was your classic empty mask Psychopath, but he still had the creative urge, but when you got that creative urge, but no empathy or emotion Everything you do is gonna be hack and cliche Hmm so instead of creating anything that was truly his own Mark tWitchell just copied what other people did even beyond cosplaying for making Star Wars fan films to directly ripping off the Ricky Gervais HBO show extras in a terrible feature called

day players He was a filmmaker Alright, so he's a filmmaker. He's an artist. He's a cosplayer. I don't think we've ever had a serial killer Who has these sort of attributes, right? Ed Gein was very creative. Do we forget? Well, I mean honestly edgy and if if the internet was around during Ed Gein's era his Etsy would be huge very haunted But tWitchell's only consequential ripoff was of a show that he became obsessed with only in the year leading up to his Attempted and successful respected murders and this is why tWitchell is famous and why you may know his name And even though we know tWitchell was gonna murder someone whether he saw this show or not

tWitchell show was Dexter damn you Dexter The only other people who said that are the people who had pilots and contention up against texter at showtime That's the only people who ever mentioned that show with that much passion. I do the thing about Dexter That was sort of before the true crime wave came Yeah, he was on the you know kind of the beginning of it But the thing that aggravated me was always everyone's like he kills but for a reason. I'm like he's still a serial killer We know that's the thing. Yeah, for those of you who don't know like Dexter was a completely fine show With two pretty good seasons

About a serial killer who's also a cop who takes out his serial killing urges on criminals Who fall through the cracks of the criminal justice system and John Lithgow? He had a great run as a villain in the series. Oh really scary Yeah, cuz I was like season four when it kind of got some life back into it I think I'm not sure what year what the year John Lithgow was on I'm looking it up Dexter Season four Yeah, there's that

So suddenly with this obsession Mark tWitchell didn't need to have real adamantium claws or Jedi mind control powers to place himself within a fantasy That he had no part in creating he could do it by being one of the laziest least creative things in the world a Killer oh, I thought you were gonna say Hollywood producer Nobody he tried to he tried to make a movie and he saw how hard that was he tried to make two movies And they got so hard that he decided to flip to becoming something easier, which was a serial killer But the thing was when he decided to do that He didn't have the courage or the wherewithal to copy Dexter completely because I mean this guy wasn't gonna be hunting down criminals

Capturing them as he did with everything else in his life He cut corners and he cut a pretty damn big one on this instead of stalking catching and killing criminals like Dexter tWitchell prayed on lonely single men living in his hometown of Edmonton, Canada Using a fake online dating profile So basically he prayed if he's praying on the lonely men of Edmonton, he's praying on every man in Edmonton basically Yes, it's if John from Garfield was real There was no cats around But since Mark tWitchell was an unoriginal idiot who just thinks he's a brilliant mastermind

He got caught on his first murder almost immediately Just seven days after he did the deed and part of the reason why he got caught was because he wrote a full Confession on his laptop Detailing the entire murder and the disposal of the body as well as the attempted murder that came before I'm gonna say the part of the reason why we're doing this episode is because I think that this is maybe the biggest loser We've documented on our entire show. Yeah, really even there's something about this guy that reeks of Just note medium talent that that's the word that keeps coming when Bill Murray screamed a chevy chase called him a Medium talent. That's how they got into a fist fight

This is how this guy or this is what he reminds me of and he wrote a 42 page long script detailing every part of each one of his crimes That is not only Hackeys fuck not only is just a terrible written thing because it sounds like it's like discovering somebody's live journal If you're from our generation Do you remember how like our generation a lot of people had live journals? Yeah, and a part of it was that you did want people to see your innermost thoughts Yeah, but not really like you kind of was like My thoughts are out there, but you don't really want anybody to see them because if they do read them

They are highly fucking embarrassing, right? These this document called the SK Confessions Fesh so the SK Confessions was like a serial killers live journal it may as well have had like Like weeaboo pictures in it like little anime things in it being like oh too real for me like all that kind of bullshit Yeah, it could have been a good tumbler. Yeah. Yeah. I mean this is live journal through and through because you got to remember all this happened in like 2008 we're pretty current with this story Fairly current with this story But it was long enough ago where the internet was just starting to become

Available to regular people and people still thought it was mildly private. Yes. All right Just quick question douchebags. We've covered a lot of them biggest ones We got tWitchell Elliot Rogers. Who's worse Elliot Rogers or tWitchell quick nerd? True crime nerdy question. I'm gonna say Roger. Yeah, I'm gonna say Elliot Roger. Yeah, I'd say yes He's obviously a much more even dangerous piece of shit simply because he killed more people right where The reason why I ended up putting mark tWitchell in more of the bigger loser categories because he couldn't even do The kill and part right Okay, all right, it's settled

And I think the other thing about tWitchell is that like he did have some talent to him Okay, he had just a little bit But the problem was that he was a complete and total psychopath, right? I'm beginning to think we shouldn't trust people who write screenplays That seems to be the problem Oh, Henry, would you like to read the introduction to SK Confessions? Yes, and now for the inner voice of mark tWitchell I don't remember the exact place and time it was and I decided to become a serial killer But I remember the sensation that hit me when I committed to the decision It was a rush of pure euphoria

Yeah, I felt lighter less stressed if you will at the freedom of the prospect There was something about urgently exploring my dark side that greatly appealed to me And I'm such a methodical planner and thinker the very challenge itself was enticing to behold This realization was just the last in a series of new discoveries. I made about myself This student it is Elliott roger meets BTK. This is a this is a perfect douchebag burrito But just to see how a failed filmmaker became an almost double murderer Let's get into the story of mark tWitchell using as our main source the devil's cinema by steve lele brun Which is a well researched and well written account of the whole story comes recommended

Okay, so mark tWitchell was born in Edmonton, canada on july 4th 1979 stealing our day Stealing our day indeed Now as per lile brun's account of Edmonton, it sounds like a fairly awful place to live In fact, it's commonly known in canada as deadmonton Yes, yes, it's also like they lived in a place called. I think it was like will's nor and they called it kills more We like the verbal pun See Edmonton is an oil town and as we know

Oil towns are almost always rife with crime due to the fact that there's a lot of people with a lot of money And not a whole lot of good ideas on how to spend it Do you think it's also got something to do with the fact that oil is slippery? Could be yeah Now around the time of the murder of johnny altinger Edmonton was actually the most violent city in canada with 39 murders marking the year 2005 Oh my 39 murders Well, that's me come on my american standards

For them it is for them. It's quite a bit peaceful city in america. Well, I mean that's still in a town of 700,000 So 39 murders that's going to get noticed 39 murders There people in Des Moines on a sunday Kissel their people are bigger So I see like it's technically it's like it's 78 And you know, we don't have a lot to brag about but I'm just gonna say we will we have more murders than that We do in poughkeepsie

Actually in the book the author did say like now. I know that doesn't sound like a whole lot to you americans Well, we here in canada, that's a lot good lord Now another reason why it's called deadmonton is that it's pretty much the furthest north you can go in canada before you start hitting the Wastelands now, there certainly are towns past Edmonton, but they're places like grimshaw paddle prairie And grumbler and I'll tell you what grumbler is famous for being overrun with moose burglars They're like the cat burglars, but they're just big fat guys with molson's jerseys on just just stuck in basement with Oh, no, it sounds like the undertaker named all these towns

What is happening? But really twitchel, I mean he could have been from pretty much anywhere in north america I mean from the outside he seemed like just a run-of-the-mill suburban nerd Who was super into video games comic books star wars and cosplaying But on the inside twitchel was a born psychopath He had no trauma in his childhood to speak of and he came from a loving home with his parents Even going so far as to pay to have his freakishly protruding ears pinned back when he was a kid Oh, come on, you know kids should always be treated like a wymer

Yeah Can you just pin to ears back? What do you do today? I don't know how that works So he's into cosplay video games comics. So basically the name of his book is how not to meet a woman. Yeah Well nowadays that shit done changed. No, that's true. Comic cons where you go to meet a cool woman Back in the day though. They didn't know that. Yeah, and it did make you isolated. Yeah And I know I'm not making fun of no comic conners in this house. We love our comic on people here Well twitchel grew up to be pretty much just like a normal-looking average white guy not fat not skinny Maybe a little pig-ish in the face. You know what he's got that. I don't like he's got big legs

Big thoughts. There's something about dudes. We've got the wrestling bottom half You know what I mean with the big butt attached to big legs. I don't trust them. You can't great for cow tipping though No, but internally twitchel had one of the actual medical tells of a psychopath Mark twitchel was born without a sense of smell And while not everyone with a poor sense of smell is a psychopath a 2011 study found that many psychopaths Are afflicted with this condition really? They think it's because psychopaths tend to have less frontal lobe activity Frontal lobe be in the area of the brain that's associated with impulse control and acting within society's norms

And that's also where the sense of smell is located interesting of course frontal lobe the sister of lisa lobe A fantastic 2019 thank you You really re-upped with the joke. Um, do you think he becomes like daredevil? Or since he doesn't have a sense of smell everything else is heightened. He can feel the future Hmm could be but twitchel had other psychopathic tendencies besides just the smell thing He was a pathological liar He stole money from his mother and he was arrested twice for shoplifting from grocery stores

Oh, you know, but mark twitchel considered himself to be a genius I think this is where the psychopath shit starts coming on He had definitely a superiority complex from as a very little kid Yeah, and but the pathological lying is something because I'm not gonna say I was as a boy But I told a lot of stories and sometimes it's what leads you to be a storyteller technically up until this point He's just getting all the tools that he needs to be a filmmaker. Right, right. No, you also wanted to be a priest Um, so you had a lot of problems as a child. I was too horny. Yeah, that was it. So he stole from grocery stores Yeah, he's shoplifting grocery stores, but what are you a shoplift from a grocery store a pineapple?

What are you talking about? No, never from a grocery store. You steal from when I was hot topic You steal from cool places. You get a shirt. You get a belt thing When I was my poorest I used to get a Grocery cart and drive around you get a couple of dry goods you eat them as you go And then you leave them back in a cart and then sometimes if you're a big fat kid Your parents are being like no, we're not getting another mars bar mark and you're like Well, mother will see what my fingers do and it was like you could see him get in a mars bar

I mean like another deed another dollar and he sees opens it up and like smears chocolate over space like he's eating a log of Shit. All right. All right. I don't know where you where you where you hit all the stuff in your man purse, perhaps Oh, tWitchell had a new idea. He attributed it to what he called his internal creative genius Oh, god, which is a term he used so often. He abbreviated it to icg Always with the fucking acronyms But of course icg was always just to spend on someone else's idea

The biggest well being without a doubt Star Wars, okay And in particular despite being adult when they came out because I can get this if you were a kid when these movies came out Right mark tWitchell was obsessed with the prequels Oh, no, we went and saw each one in the theaters all three of them fan of menace attack of the clubs Revenge of the sith was it revenge of the sith does the third one? I don't know. Yeah, I think it was revolt of the sarthas Yeah, something like that. He went at least half a dozen times. I think the last one was sith. You're being mean You know people at comic con are very nice

The only time they will ever get violent and everyone will kick your ass if you dress as jar jar banks you will get pummeled Like a gang beat it But he viewed jar jar banks as like a role model He loved the prequels. He would talk about like he said that he would go and cry In the prequels being like this is the story. George Lucas was meant to tell this is the story of humankind That to me is marker number one Yeah, the story is that those stories happened because George Lucas got divorced to the woman who really came up with a lot of the Star Wars ideas and then she didn't help him on the prequels and that's what that looks like

Yeah, I mean his biggest care his biggest Love out of all the characters in the prequels mark tWitchell Loved anakin skywalker by far the worst character in all of the prequels mannequin anakin. Yeah mannequin anakin mannequin Yeah He'd even go on the force net, which was like actually Full disclosure force net pretty sweet as star wars message board I used to go on it all the time when I was a kid. I loved it Absolutely

And he posed about how awesome he thought it was when Anakin killed all those kids You'd be like, can you imagine how much strength it took to do that? Could you even imagine and he'd do it using goofy little screen names like Achilles of Edmonton grinning fisto or Psycho Jedi That's the one that makes me I just it just sends a shiver up my spine

Just imagining the manager at hot topic that also calls himself psycho jedi Yes, they all sound like rejected wrestling names Like when stone cold was talking about how they wanted to give him the name mr. McFrees, and he's like with this shit I don't know. I can see myself cheering for Achilles of Edmonton. Yeah That's actually kind of classy. Yeah, I could that's pretty good. I could see myself buying shoes from a place called Achilles of Edmonton Yeah, tWitchell was so into star wars. He even got a vanity license plate that just said DRK jedi dark jedi. He meant for it to say dark jedi, but you know what it stands for dork jedi

Oh, I like that But the thing that got tWitchell going most was actually making movies movies being a term that I use Very loosely here. Okay Starting from a young age tWitchell and a couple of friends worked on a project that they called the video The video is mostly just parodies actually one of his ideas. I kind of like he did a judge dread parody called judge fred And featured fred flinstone as judge dred You mean to tell me he was mad tv at the same time of mad tv And I'm pretty certain that he may have stolen that from mad tv because it was on tv at the time

No, that is singly. That is that's the single greatest idea I've ever heard And also what's fucked up is that the mask he created for judge fred Is eerily similar to the mask he uses to kill his victim a couple of years later And you know speaking to which like mark made all of his own costumes He actually made a darth mull costume for the phantom menace premiere and I can know what b plus Solid b plus on this costume. He put a lot of work into his costumes. Yeah, his aunt taught him how to do it If you look at all it's a lot of detail. He spent a lot of time. Oh, yeah Again, if he had just kept to it

You couldn't ended up working in the special effects world You couldn't end up working in the costume world especially now that there was a big bump Oh, yeah in uh film production in canada and in fan made films. Of course, those are real popular Yeah, the thing with cosplay is every time a cartoonist draws your favorite character a little differently You've got to upgrade because I was talking to my friend about it who plays deadshot Deadshot came out with a new comic. He's got a bunch of new trinkets. He's got to upgrade. So it's not easy But of course the allure of the internet always drew mark twitch will back Especially in the early days see back in the late 90s early 2000s

The internet was a much different place than it was than it is today These days everyone's got the internet but back in the year 2000 It was mostly populated by people like me, henry mark twitchell and his first wife Megan castarola who was nothing more than just a sweet naive girl from colorado springs Yeah The two of them met in one of the internet's many chat rooms and soon began an internet romance emails turned to calls and eventually mark twitchell Impulsively asked her to marry him over the phone classic psychopath move. Well, that is so romantic

Well, it's just they didn't ever meet each other and then he asked her to marry her and then that poor woman was just like Yeah, like she's such a sweet lady if you see the interview with her. She's so nice And then he just like shows up like i'm a mac daddy from canada Who's about to lay that dick down so deep your whole life's gonna be shattered and then it turned out that that dick Didn't go that deep. Oh my goodness. Yeah, she said yes She boarded a flight to canada two months later and married mark twitchell on january 4th 2001 She had been only been married to this near stranger for three days when mark asked her a question

As they were laying in bed one day mark asked her without prompting if she ever thought about killing a person And megan later said that she was suddenly Very aware that she was in a strange country sitting in a bed with a man. She barely knew So she said sure, but she'd never actually do it But mark immediately said that he'd very much thought about killing someone and had thought about finding a homeless person And just killing them because no one would ever miss him just to see what killing a guy felt like That's interesting, you know, that's that's one of those questions if you're in a relationship You know, it's not really directed towards you

They want to tell you it's like if you're in a relationship and and one of the partners is like Have you ever thought about having a threesome? You know and then uh in reality, you're like, no, I would never and then they're like, oh, yeah Yeah, me neither, you know now this was in 2001. This was seven years before the murder of johnny altinger And this guy You know mark twitchell he was gonna murder someone no matter what but megan she tried sticking it out and eventually Mark twitchell moved with her to america and got a job as an appliance salesman, which he was actually very good at He was very he was a great salesman. Okay. A lot of psychopaths are

But mark still spent most of his time on the internet In fact, megan would sometimes catch him online Pretending to be a woman because mark thought it was fun. It was actually one of his hobbies Yeah, if it becomes your hobby That's when it's a big enough That's a red flag So the two lived together in peoria illinois for four years But the marriage fell apart one weekend when mark left megan at home and went to cosplayer's paradise

Dragon con. I tell you what man, and to this day dragon con is where you go to get Fereke with some nerds. Yeah, that is just wall to wall spider-man butter up in that fucking house Well, it sounds like a great time. Yeah dragon con is awesome I went a year before me and carolina went like a year before last I think it was a fucking great Yeah, it's down in atlanta. It's an awesome little comic con and it's it's where cosplayers go to show off So you like see the best cosplaying at dragon cool. What happens at dragon con comes back with you in a in a bag It's it's rough. I mean, it's merch. It's a lot of merch a lot of merch and mark. Yeah, I bought my ocarina there

No kidding I don't know what the hell that sentence meant, but thank you for sharing And mark twitchel like so many others before and after Cheated on his wife that weekend in atlanta with a dragon Why are you all why is your cock all burned? I got a blowjob from a dragon Honestly, that's half the story should dragon come because you know the dragon's got big old titties That's why you're doing it And as soon as mark twitchel got back he told his wife what he'd done without an ounce of guilt and she divorced him soon after

See at least at least you fucking got a clean slate to get the fuck out of there. Yeah, and that's not the only run-in That mark twitchel had at a comic con while searching for various things on a place called documenting reality.com I found a man who only goes with the name of ricky who talked about an encounter that he had with mark twitchel at a comic con This piece of shit tried to befriend me because I was carrying around two lightsabers from new year's inventon I saw his license plate saying dark Jedi and I knew he was going to be a bad apple like a guy on a Harley He made a point to grab the same spider-man stickers. I was grabbing at the dollar store in city center mall I ignored him and went my way because I don't need stockers

He followed me home and I hope you wouldn't come inside so I could get him on video cameras I don't like stockers Then after a while he just dropped me and disappeared. I kept looking over my shoulder for this filth later I read how he wanted to leave the spider-man plastic bag so as to frame someone and let someone be in me ricky Oh my two lightsabers ricky is a pretty cool cat Oh, and uh spider-man stickers you say that's what uh, they were fighting over Yep, you know what was on uh, what was on mark twitchel's laptop. What spider-man stickers seriously? Whoa? This is crazy

But twitchel is four years in america were not totally wasted when he returned to edmonton He had an idea for a movie now. I couldn't find anything about the actual plot But as soon as twitchel got back he started working on a feature length fan film called Star Wars Secrets of the rebellion Now as lame as it sounds when you look at the footage of it I saw some footage of it in the various documentaries about mark twitchel You see that they actually had some pretty good high quality costumes in that and they had a full-on green screen studio

He was really hustling on that. Yeah horrible movie the thing with fan films is you're not legally allowed to make any money off of them Yeah, otherwise they come they lay the Thor's hammer down on you Yeah, so I don't real near. Yeah. Yep. You want to be careful? Yeah, I was saying, you know, we're not saying there's anything wrong with fan films or cosplay or anything like that And to give credit to twitchel. I mean he spent two years on this and he spent $60,000 of his own money on this and he even created his own company to do this whole thing It was called express entertainment. That's x p-r-e-s-s express. Why do you have a black couch in the waiting room? Well, that's where we do a lot of filming as well

We rent that out to a company. This is um, it's more of an audition place We're girls that seem to arrive here from wichita or uh, even as far as mungunka There may be 18 and new to the film industry and I just want to make sure that they get off on the right foot Yeah, twitchel. I mean he even got the guy who played boba fett to do a cameo. Hey got jeremy bullock in there No, why do you hold on a second? Do you need the guy who did boba fett aren't isn't he covered the entire time? Yes Do that. This is a good point. There's a good point and that will come back around again and again in every remake being like We don't need the real original jason. Are you five ten? You got the job

But I will say in order to even get boba fett to do the movie He had to give boba fett final cut He had to actually and he's just doing a cameo The boba fett still had to watch the entire thing and improve the the final But so you know it seemed like it was all going to work out the canadian broadcasting company the cbc They came out. They did a little feature on the shoot Oh, they also do a feature called favorite duck of the month. So I wouldn't give him a lot of credit I would watch that feature every month and pretty soon. You know march twitchel. He was married for a second time to a woman

He met on plenty of fish dot com Although it's pretty much. I mean it was the same thing as the time before he met her Three months in I think he you know asked for a hand in marriage They got married and then a couple months after that. He was pregnant. Oh my goodness locked in plenty of fish indeed Just squirty squirt. He had plenty of fish in his balls. I guess so she's got one big ol fish in her Yep, she's got a big grouper in there Look around yikes, man. I'll tell you what plenty of fish dot com does not look good anymore I went on that website because I was hungry and they didn't even

What is this? Come on I had to I had to search plenty of shrimp dot com next 2019. You don't want to see that 2019 plenty of shrimp. Yeah, I'll go there. Yeah, it ain't about shrimp if you know what I'm talking about God, man. It's just for tiny dicks What's this whole dancing page about Things they just kept rolling for mark on halloween 2007 he won best costume with a transformers bumblebee suit at edmonton's biggest halloween party the howler You know what man bumblebee has a new movie coming out

Um into the what is the spider verse is supposed to be the best spider-man film This dipshit would have loved the future. Yeah, he would have he just fucked up so bad He doesn't get to enjoy any of the nerd shit that he likes none of it. Yeah Now he just gets to be just mercilessly beat up in jail for liking this And he didn't just win the howler halloween costume contest He won another contest the next day at a nightclub at the west edmonton mall. Whoa nightclub at the mall But I mean before you judge, it's the biggest mall in north america. All right wait No mall of america is no the west. I looked it up the west edmonton mall actually beats it

Does it have a freaking dicks last resort? Does it have a hooters? Does all of america have a nightclub? Oh, you can dance anywhere Well anything could turn into a nightclub if you're there at night and you're drinking exactly But despite all of this one year exactly after that night at the west edmonton mall Mark twichell would be under arrest for first-degree murder So what happened? Well, there's a couple of factors at work here In the fall of 2007 everything just kind of stalled in mark twichell's life

Shooting on secret to the rebellion had ended that summer, but the whole thing had been done on a green screen So he needed a huge team of special effects people to finish it for him because he had no idea how to do 3d rendering But that's tough to do. Yeah. Now. It's very difficult. I don't know how to do it and whoever volunteered This is the only catch They were gonna have to do all of this work completely for free Yeah, no, you got it as a young struggling Filmmaker like because I know we have people like that who listen to the show and we make

We like I try to make a movie back in the day. We've tried to make projects before But when on your own dime, it's really really difficult and a part of it is that mark twichell just thought That he was such a genius and the people were attracted to him so much is that it wasn't just that he was out of money It was the way that he sold secrets of the rebellion to the people that he attracted like the pa's that he became like Kind of his little go boys for free that he Kind of wore out their welcome with them. He then kind of pushed this movie onto a guy That's like you an idea how difficult it is to find somebody just to edit a seven minute sketch Never mind an hour and a half of digital rendering where it was all digital rendering if you see the stills

He didn't have sets. No, they were all just standing on green screens 40 percent of the movie Was supposed to be digital rendering and that's a lot Expected all to be done for free and he kind of acted as if it was a foregone conclusion That all of these people are going to jump to my aid because i'm a genius because i've already continued this lie because When he got cbc to come look at his bullshit and do the little bit on him He was like you see i'm going someplace now and in the next movie This all of this is going to do is just build up for my next movie

Where i'm going to get some real hollywood actors and he's spinning this lie hoping it's going to turn into a truth And it doesn't right right and for the artists out there We worked for free for five years doing the pods Um, so if you do if you have a vision and you want to work for free you something you got to do it Yeah, but this is you have to work for free You have to bust out that vision for free because there's going to be nobody there to help you out Yeah, and really like mark mark twig told like he didn't even know how to be a filmmaker because the guy who played Han Solo in the movie who was like an actual working actor that mark hired he was like

This guy has no fucking clue what he's doing. Yeah, they said he got all the he was really into the gadgets and the costumes Yeah, which i which i totally understand He was he built really ornate costumes and he got he spent all of his fucking money on these killer cameras But he had no clue what the fuck he was doing otherwise and then acted as if he did which is common You got to fake it till you make it but at some point it catches up to you I'm just sad we didn't get to see a second film jar jar binks in the ears of truth Because i think that would have been great And it's him lobbying

The white house to lift the ban on the communists in the 50s. I think that's a good way to position him into a new time period Absolutely Now it is idiotic to blame a television show for inspiring a murder because we all know that people like mark twichell Are eventually gonna kill someone no matter what media they consume. Yeah, they'll find a way or a reason Yeah, they'll always always find a reason but in 2007 Just as everything was stalling with the star wars project and just as the glow from the night of the bumblebee had faded mark twichell was introduced by a friend to dexter

And twichell ate that shit up watch the whole season in four days Get it and then there was a bright spot. See even though the star wars project had stalled twichell still had another project day players Now day players, I mean it's pretty much just extras and that it's about extras in the film industry But with canadiens right right and we actually have a short clip of the god awful trailer that was uploaded by and Co-starred mark twichell about 10 years ago And we're gonna play this in its entirety on our adult swim stream on Tuesday

All right, we're excited to be back every Tuesday 8 p.m. Eastern standard time adult swim comm slash stream nice plug Kissle with the plug plug in it all right What's Amy up to lately? I don't know. I was gonna ask you the same question Why would I know what Amy was up to at all weird she well she told me the way you were up to Um I can't remember. I don't know why she would know I can't remember the last time I uh saw Amy It was it was definitely not last night. You didn't see her last night

No, not at your apartment Well, I mean, you know what? Yes. Oh, yeah, you know what? Yeah, I was I was well, okay. Amy is my girl You broke up with her jackass So that doesn't give you the right time Guys can you keep it down back there? We're trying to keep the audio clean for the take. I don't want to have to do this 16 times Sorry, sorry blow my fucking brain out

Sorry, also, uh, whenever you go to la go down to a bar Not a nice one Just go to a normal la bar and you'll hear extras talking because it's a full profession Yeah, and they are really upset. I heard three white dudes talking because now they do inclusion writers Um, so there have to be more diverse people in the background as extras. They are not happy And the the a conversation between professional extras who are out of work Is one of the most fascinating things you could ever uh ease drop on Bg artists do they know more about union rules than any other human beings?

I've ever met in my fate of the face of plant. They know the hours breaks down They know the weight would you get for the bumps depending on if you bring certain clothes you get a bump like that's a big thing too Is that if you have very specific Like clothing choices like if you have a cops uniform, which is I don't know how they get this shit at the time They walk in with a full-on cops fucking costume on being like they get a bump for it I was like, what else do you do and he's like, yeah, sometimes you could just pretend to be a cop You're like that's a crime You shouldn't be doing that. They know what they know when the lunch is served the best time to go get in line

Oh, yeah, that was the whole premise of the movie is that there was and it was just like there was a A scene that was quote-unquote crazy athletic sex that was super loud Well, that's what a part of it. That's where that day players got really weird Was that they said that day players started featuring a lot of sexual content, which is at the time. It's strange, right? Because At this point he's hovering and sort of like a tommy we sew Right kind of worlds were because tommy we so try to follow up the room with a comedy Because he tried to embrace the people that were laughing at the room right. Oh, yeah, it was always a comedy So he made an office comedy that was fucking hot garbage

But he did he's kind of doing the same thing But like tommy was oh who liked seeing his ass move In sex positions. He'd like seeing his weird ripply back. Oh, yeah, and all that kind of shit like force fuck a woman He put a lot of dark sexuality into day players that turned a lot of people off They were like why why is it like this? Why is there all this like weird choking shit in this and it's also not just entertaining to watch Two canadian improv comedians with just cameras on them like that doesn't work like they need a script right right? Yeah, but as bad as that is tWitchell still took the movie in front of a bunch of investors named

Venture Alberta Yeah, Venture Alberta just a group. It was like canadian shark tank They were like a group of investors who heard proposals each year from aspiring Albertans And tWitchell gave one hell of a sales pitch to these guys. He had fake numbers told these guys Give me one small investment 1.5 million dollars first round. It's all it'll take. Okay. I'm gonna turn that into a 10 picture five-year run It's gonna make you 33.9 million dollars. That's a lot of money. That's a big number Well, the problem is that what I know from shark tank

Is that when you go through the the maths of what your company's gonna be you have to really figure out What it is for real. Oh, yeah, because if not, I'll tell you what them sharks they put skiers in you Oh, yeah, they will you give yourself a five million a dollar evaluation You've only sold a hundred thousand in a full year because you're selling socks for cats Um, they're not gonna they're gonna chew you up. Yeah Yeah, but tWitchell he had an ace up his sleeve and he waited to the very end of his presentation to reveal it He had two words these guys Alec Baldwin

Can't go wrong. You know who else was in the movie who Kevin Smith. Oh just in timberlake Jeff Goldblum. Oh my god. All of them. Oh, shit. We're signed on to make cameos in day players the cast that makes zero sense That's amazing Now most people have been to alberta past But one guy john penn sent Actually signed on to buy a share in the movie and promised an investment of $35,000 Honestly, that's $35,000 for free ass money that he just got by lying. That's called showbiz showbiz Okay, and tWitchell also convinced his buddy's parents to give him another $30,000

While his wife's brother gave over all the money he made working in the oil fields, which was another $30,000 It's covered in pen ink like and you remember in urnist goes to jail. Oh, it breaks the pen And he's got the tissue he's eating Um, but I will say the wife's brother gave him this money in the most canadian way of The most canadian way possible where he's like, all right, I'll give you this money But you're gonna write in a document that is written down that this money is to be held in trust So that it has to be used for the movie and nothing else and mark is like Absolutely, there's no way for me to spend this money if it's put in trust

I want it in trust and I want it in a big note And so they signed a piece of paper and it's just like you fucking rube But even though 90 grand is a good chunk of money It's not anywhere near good enough to deliver on mark. What's your promises? Because remember he did Baldwin Justin Timberlake Good lord. Yeah, and since he was spending all his time on day players He got fired from his day job. Oh the real day players That's sad. What was his day job salesman? Oh, yeah, but this is when shit started. This is when it starts getting dark Yeah, right because what we're gonna see is that the bottom has fallen under

On this this moment of his filmmaking career and at any point as again as creators I've had the rug pulled out from underneath me several times And you know what then has to happen is you have to just rebuild you just go back to doing it because you're a Filmmaker and you and you just kind of figure out what the fuck it is that you're doing if you can this guy This guy went to a worse place. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah So after he lost his job, he did what any good psychopath would do Kept in a secret from his wife And just kept leaving the house every day for about eight hours pretending to go to work

So much more difficult than just finding a job, didn't it though? Yes. Yes, then Out came the facebook See back. Yeah. Yeah. See back in 2008 facebook statuses were all done in the third person It's like marcus has gone to the bank marcus just had a tasty burrito and so on and so forth It's it was psychotic Yes, yes, also, uh, really unhealthy marcus really unhealthy eat some vegetables stop going to the bank marcus What are you doing at the bank? Are you casing the bank? But starting around august mark twitchall started posting shit like this

Mark has way too much in common with dexter morgan Then he started his own facebook profile as dexter morgan Did you do douchebag here we are it's time to play the game douchebag. Who's the first contestant? And he actually got a group of other dexter fans to start responding to his dexter morgan facebook statuses Yeah, it became like a big fantasy thing Right people would act like dexter morgan was real and then he would message them back as dexter morgan All of this is the shit that you see people do like when you wonder like like what people are doing on their laptops

and Starbucks at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday, you're like, what are their jobs? They're doing this. Right, absolutely. Okay, so this is, I can see this, this is a social media extension of cosplay. Yeah. You know, it's more obviously psychological.

It very much makes sense. But he actually, he started messaging some of these people personally as himself, the one he messaged the most was a woman named Renee. He told her this in one message, quote. You're not the only one to relate to Dexter. It sometimes scares me how much I can relate. But this role play wasn't enough.

Twitchell needed to take it to the next level. And so on August 27th, 2008, Mark Twitchell sent out a casting call for a new project born from his internal creative genius called House of Cards. Ooh. Now not surprisingly, House of Cards, it's about a cop turned serial killer, just like Dexter.

And he lives in a house of cards? It's very hard to live in a house of cards. You have to stand so still. One mistake, the whole thing goes down. Yeah, he called it a psychological thriller. But Mark's little twist was that this killer wasn't killing criminals. He was luring cheating husbands off the internet

and killing them. Oh. So the plot is pretty much, Mary Guy shows up for a day at a garage, but he's immediately knocked out by a stun gun. When he wakes up, he's taped to a chair, and there's this crazy psycho guy standing in front of him doing that weird head tilt thing

that New Metal guitarist used to always do to try to look crazy. You remember that from all those? Yeah, they always do the head tilt thing where they look like birds. I remember. So this is hostile, basically. Yeah, it's hot, yeah, it's pretty much,

and he's also, to rip another thing off, he's wearing a hockey mask with the mouth and the chin cut out, painted black with gold stripes. I don't understand the black with gold stripes choice. He did that with the judge, it started with Judge Fred. Yes. And then it turned into this. You know what that is, that's the colors of Bumblebee.

Uh-oh, yeah, yes. I'm fucking happy. He loves it. He loves it. Got a little Bumblebee in it. Well, here's an example of the dialogue from the movie. This is actual dialogue from the movie written by Mark Twitwell.

All right, just before we do this, I'll take the part of the person who was being tortured. Ah! Fuck! Okay, settle down, Roger. You have nothing to worry about yet. If you play by the rules, then you will live. If you don't, I'm going to cut you up into tiny pieces

and they'll never find the pod. I'm going to ask you a series of questions. And how you answered those questions, Roger, is going to decide your fate. Roger? Are you supposed to be jigsaw? OK. OK, Roger, settle down.

I'm going to check your answers while you're sitting here. And if I find out you lied to me on any particular point, I'm going to cut your nut sack off and show it to you. Do you read me, mister? I hear you, man. Actually, Align, I'm going to cut your nut sack off and show it to you. Do you read me?

I like it. So the killer, I ask some questions. He gets his ATM info, and then he kills the guy. Now, the original draft of the script had the killer decapitating the guy with the samurai sword. But Twitchell's wife, who couldn't stand violence, she wouldn't let him do it. Really?

Not going to do it, Mark? Not going to do it. Not going to do it. You're not doing it. Mark, what kind of nastiness is this? You're going to have his head chopped off by a samurai sword? Yes, my dear. Can't you see that is the only way for the film to end?

Because if not, what is this purchase of this $300 samurai sword for? Right. So this seems to be a pretty one-dimensional film here. We got household, we got jigsaw, we got bumblebees. It's extremely well. But that's the thing, though, is that there's twist. What's the twist?

Well, see, first of all, they compromised, didn't get decapitated, just get stabbed, but still with a samurai sword. OK. Got to. He already spent the money that is held in trust for the other film on that samurai sword. Is the twist that the guy actually has steel balls

and can't chop them off? Whoa. That'd be pretty cool. All right, so after the killer dismembers the body and loads the parts into his car, here's what happens. I'm going to read stage directions, and Ben, I'm going to need you to play the part. OK, sure.

Do I have to look at the script? Yeah, I'm going to need you to play the part of the wife. The wife. Interior home, library, day. A writer leans back from staring intensely at his laptop screen and puts his hands behind his head, taking a deep sigh in relief that he's just finished something solid.

He closes Microsoft Word and a website showing the inside workings of a female profile on a cheaters dating site is the last thing to shut down. He closes the laptop, and the shell displays superhero stickers on it in a distinctive pattern. He puts it into his carrying case and leans over to close a duffel bag containing gloves, a stun gun, and a black, mouthless hockey mask

with yellow streaks on it. He moves to his living room and kisses his wife goodbye. OK, I'm the wife. Yes. Off to the gym, honey? You bet. Got to relieve some tension from sitting so long. Well, how's the story coming along?

Really well, sweetie, my huge, big-titted wife. Oh, yeah. It's true when they say the best way to succeed is to write what you know. Do you get it? I don't get it. Is he off to the gym as the wife? I am still, is he going to the gym?

No, and Mary, he's writing the script because, see, the whole thing is that the movie was the script that the guy was writing. Because, see, the movie was a movie within the movie. Why? Yeah, but the guy is really a killer. He's really a killer. He's really the killer.

Why would you take a stun gun to the gym? What is going on? He's lying to his wife. He's lying to his wife? He's lying to me? Yeah, man, he's a bad guy. That's the last lie he's ever going to tell. Yeah, man, he's lying.

Yeah, especially to you as his wife, he'll just fucking snap his neck. Absolutely. Just thinking, use your huge, I can't imagine how big your pussy would be if you were a woman. And you go up there and you just fucking choke him to death. Absolutely.

But again, he then really did all this, which is then, I don't know really how to put it in my mind as like, I know it's sick and technically dark, but it's also the lamest thing in the world. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and this shoot just sounds like the saddest thing ever. Like for the kill room, Twitchell had found a disused garage in one of Edmonton's

bad neighborhoods and rented it from a couple who didn't speak English. So they weren't going to ask any questions about what was going on in there. OK. But he still needed props, specifically the stun baton. So where else would he go for incapacitating weapons but right here in America?

Woo! Whoa! You're welcome, Canada. So he drove seven hours to the border to buy one in Montana, but got stopped. For some stupid fucking reason, Mark Twitchell told the customs officer the same lie he told his wife. He said he was going to Montana to shoot a music video.

But guess what you need at the border to go work in another country? Visa. Visa. Yeah. Mark Twitchell didn't have a visa. So they just said, OK, you got to go home. You're not coming into America.

Oh my god. Well, then how is he ever going to bring back Milly Vanilly? But there's a part of this right where this is, I mean, truthfully, this is where it gets dark, where this kind of shit, this kind of empty facade he has, where he's believing his own lies within his own world. He's created this fake work life where he's already lying to his wife 24-7.

And then he has to lie to her to shoot the movie. He has to lie to her to go get all the props. He has to do all this kind of shit. And then he's now starting to believe that it's real, almost, where he's spinning off into a world of fantasy. He should have told the Border Patrol agent he's going to the gym because that would work. That's legal.

You can do that anywhere. You can do that anywhere. You can drive seven hours from Edmonton to go to the gym in Bozeman. Why not? He's just. Nothing says like having a secret gay relationship about that, you know what I mean?

So yeah, he just ended up ordering one off of the internet from a guy that was willing to ship to Alberta, which he could have just done in the first place. Yeah, buddy. Why is it? It's also not that big of a deal. It's a stun baton. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

As far as the samurai sword went, though, Mark Twichel, not surprisingly, he already had one of those. OK, well, of course, then. That's kind of cool. And he was so attached to it, in fact, that he wouldn't let anyone else touch it during the shoot between takes. It would actually yell at people if they handled it wrong.

According to the devil's cinema, he would say, quote, Don't put your fingerprints on these. The oil on your hands could wreck it like it's a baby bird. Yeah, absolutely. The mother will never love it if you touch it. What a psycho. And these poor actors, they were just looking for work. Edmonton.

Can you imagine being an Edmonton actor? Dude, one of the guys flew from Toronto on his own dime to be in this seven-minute short film. That was the killer. And the thing was is that he had all of the pitch materials that he just had from pitching day players. So he sent them all of this shit. Like, he basically sent them like, look,

I have a meeting with these people. Jeff Goldblum's going to be in our next movie. I'm going to guarantee you a spot in that movie if you can come and be in this movie. And so people that are just hungry for an opportunity, I mean, loneliness and desperation will lead you to do a lot of stuff. That's how I ended up on a fucking TV show getting

sausage suspenders eaten off my body because I was desperate to make it into business. Well, that was a good $250 paycheck. You would go and buy sausage yourself. Never show them titties for free. That's what I learned a long time ago. Absolutely. So these are just people who are struggling to get by.

And really, he is taking full advantage of their need for attention and acting. Yeah, the victim was played by an amateur stand-up who was just trying to get into acting. He was just trying it out for a little bit. And he actually got it worst of all because he had to have duct tape ripped off his mouth over and over again because these dudes didn't know anything

about practical effects. And speaking of duct tape, Mark kept getting upset because the other guys were using too much. That was what they were saying is that he was very protective over his duct tape. He was kept saying, like, you're wasting it. You're wasting it. That's a big part of their budget, I would assume.

So that's important. But still, they got through the shoot, and the whole thing got wrapped in a weekend. But the thing was, just doing this short film still wasn't enough. Twitchell actually had an ulterior motive for the project. See, for Twitchell, House of Cards wasn't just a project to keep himself busy

until the money started rolling in for day players. It was practice. The entire time, Twitchell had been planning to make House of Cards a reality. It seemed like the fake reality of House of Cards just kind of overstepped his actual reality. And that it's not almost, I don't know if it was, practice is a great way to put it,

but I also wonder if it's more of a, I'm already doing the motions. This is me giving myself permission to do a thing I've been fantasizing about for a long time. And then I get to take my rage out on the world in this way that now I believe I have planned perfectly. I mean, honestly, it's what Alec Baldwin is currently doing with his impression of Donald Trump,

but he does seriously think he could run and win president. He thinks he could win the presidency. In his mind, it is all merging together as a possible reality. Technically, what you'd call what Alec Baldwin's doing is called empty mugging. It's horrible. Less than a week after wrapping the House of Cards shoot,

Mark Twitchell actually went through with it. But the thing was, married men, like the victim in House of Cards, were gonna be missed pretty quickly. Sure. So Twitchell decided, fuck it. All he really cared about was just killing someone, so he chose single men instead.

But that's a huge plot twist. It's a key component. They've gotta be cheaters. No, no, no, no. Because that's all he cared about. That's all he wanted to do. All he wanted to do is get the experience of killing a person.

Call up Joey Greco, have him find you a cheater, and then you can do this. And the poor soul who happened to be on the other end of Mark Twitchell's fake plenty of fish account was a newcomer to Edmonton named Gilles Tetreux, who was just a genuinely nice dude who was having a hard time meeting new people. All he knew was that he'd gotten a message

from a pretty blonde named Sheena, who wanted to meet up for a date that night. Twitchell was, of course, on the other end, and had chosen the oh-so-clever username, Spiderwebs, with two Zs. So this is catfishing, right? Yeah, there's catfishing going on here. And the way he put it too,

even the way he chose the pictures for her, he was like, I wanted to find a picture of a woman that would be too irresistible not to fuck, but not too hot so they wouldn't dare question the reality of the scenario. So this is what Twitchell wrote about this experience in SK Confessions after laying out why he chose lonely single men.

Such was the case with the man I will refer to as Frank. That, of course, is not his real name, and I won't divulge any other sensitive details about the situation, but Frank was my very first target ever. I roped him in with a profile I was quite proud of, featuring photos of a blonde I would like to bang myself. Oh my goodness.

And this is before you could reverse image, right? Yeah. He just found this online. He went on plenty of fish. He just went to a different city. Yeah, he went to a different city and found a picture of a cute blonde girl in her mid-30s and used her. Okay.

And it took four days of back and forth between Jill and Sheena, played by Mark, before a date could actually be set. Since Twitchell, he'd been pretending to be a woman since the early 2000s. So he was actually pretty damn good at it. These guys were none the wiser. He's very, very Dustin Hoffman from Tootsie.

So finally, on October 3rd, a Friday, Jill was all set to pick up Sheena for dinner and a movie. Now, the reason why Twitchell had chosen Friday was because he told his wife that Friday was his therapy night because not surprisingly, things weren't working out between Mark and his wife, Jess. Not to malign therapy in any way, but if you have a therapy night, that's a lot.

Like a full six to 10, just a good four-hour therapy session. That's a big block of it. It's a lot, like a whole lot. I understand it. See, Mark had found that upon the birth of his daughter, he still felt nothing. No emotions were coming in at all. And he felt himself getting more and more bored

with family life. But the biggest reason why his marriage was falling apart was because of a girl named Tracy. Tracy was Mark Twitchell's college girlfriend and the relationship had ended badly. But over the last year, while his wife was pregnant, Mark had reconnected with Tracy and the two had since made out a couple of times.

Uh-oh. It's kind of interesting. You very rarely see this anywhere that somebody wants to punish the perpetrators of a crime in a fictitious piece of movie, or maybe with laws or something, of a thing that they are guilty of themselves. It's just weird about how like sometimes

when someone's so anti one specific thing that they end up being the thing itself. It's just strange. That's right, Canadian tongue hugging. That's what they were doing. Not good, not what you want. But Mark, he confessed to his wife and also threw in that he had, again, and he also threw in

he had no empathy or sympathy toward anyone in the entire world, by the way. What was that last part, Mark? What was that last sociopathy part? As I thought, I mean, they had a newborn. She was determined to make it work, so she told him that if he stopped seeing Tracy and went to therapy, she'd give him another chance.

He said yes to both conditions, but didn't do either. Kept seeing Tracy, and instead of going to therapy, Twitchell decided he's gonna make Friday night his weekly murder night, starting on October 3rd. Now, Gilles Tetrault fully admits that he should have been suspicious when Sheena wouldn't give him a street address or phone number, and instead told him

that he should drive down to Back Alley and park outside an old garage and walk through the garage to get to the back door. Yeah, Sheena's never there. Sheena is never having you meet in the Back Alley. I just promise you that. Never go, never do this shit. But, here, never do this.

If they don't give you an exact address, if they don't give a phone number, do not go. Can I read a little bit of the message that Sheena sent him, just so you could see? Like, so a little bit of this message from Sheena, it's like both really convoluted, but he does sort of nail a woman's voice a little bit. Right?

So it starts with, so, okay, Friday. If you're coming from the north on Grote, get on Calgary Trail when you get to the south side and jump on White Mud. Then go south on 50th Street, take a ride on 40th Avenue, and after a block or two, take the very first right into the alley. It's marked by a yellow crosswalk sign, so pay attention.

Then go left and pull into the only driveway on your left that isn't paved, LOL. Seriously, who ever heard of a driveway that looks like the Amazon? Whenever, it won't swallow your car, I promise. There's some garbage up against the fence, like an old couch and such, but it might be gone by Friday.

Who knows? Like I said, the garage door will be open for you at touch. So don't worry about neighbors thinking you're a burglar. Everyone knows there's nothing valuable in there, except my car, of course. Oi, see you then, Sheena. Grote and White Mud are the garbage pail kids naming these freaking streets,

so they're in Deadmonton and the streets are Grote and White Mud. White Mud. How is Seattle the suicide capital? This is the saddest town I've ever heard. I mean, you know what, Matt, I kind of get it. I mean, I know what it's like. I'm sure a lot of you out there know what it's like.

You know, there's a lot you'll brush off when you're new in town and you're lonely. Of course, of course. I totally, I mean, that was a part of it, because when I was reading a lot about the victim, you kind of, I do feel bad in terms of like being a lonely dude out there. It's like a part of the reason why I react to it,

it's because I was that guy. There was a period in time in my life where it's like if a hot chick I met online told me to do certain shit, I probably would have ended up doing it in a way, because I was kind of, especially in the new days, in the beginning of online dating, when I met an ex-con woman at the very beginning

of match.com and they would do the free weekends and she was like, I'm out of jail soon, we should fuck. And I was just like, okay, you know, like, cool. Like, I don't know what I was doing. I think you met on Prisonsmooch.com. Yeah, ooh, I love Prisonsmooch. So play on Prison Hooch. And of course, that is also why,

if you search Henry Zabrowski, at some point they will be leaked. A lot of smiley faces right around his butthole. And those are gonna be sort of images on there. So that's scary. So after getting the invitation, Gilles got in his car and headed off to the same garage where Mark Twichel had just wrapped house of cards

days earlier. This is crazy. Meanwhile, Twichel, he'd been spending all day preparing. He'd soundproof the walls, he'd covered every inch of the garage in plastic sheeting just like Dexter did, and he even had a little dissecting table that had been made for the house of cards shoot.

Hey, honey, it looks like the neighbor is starting a podcast. Should we just call the police now or wait until we're really annoyed? No, no, we'll wait till he starts yelling in there and then I'll go over there with a shovel and I'll beat him to death. Okay, sounds good.

And as Gilles was on his way, Mark logged in a fucking Facebook on his Dexter Morgan profile and entered a status. This is what he wrote. Dexter is patiently waiting for his next victim, a play date buddy. And in response, one of his followers wrote, do this well, Dex, and it could be really, really cool.

Oh my God. Facebook has not changed. It's got to go away. Oh my God, we talk about this on Top Hat this week. Mark Zuckerberg was considered to be the Democratic nominee for the primary. You mentioned Mark Zuckerberg as president. Oh my God, what a psycho.

Smoke these meats, smoke these meats, smoke these meats. So at about 7 p.m. Gilles pulled his truck up to the garage, crouched under the half open door and walked through the dark to get to the other side. But before he could get there, out jumped Twitchell wearing his stupid house of cards hockey mask and holding his stun baton.

Twitchell is not that big of a guy. No, not really. This must have been kind of comical. Well, he asked for the other guy to be small too. He asked, because that's the one fucking thing about dating apps, is that they know you're, he got all his fucking measures. Right, okay.

He knows how big he is. So Twitchell pressed the trigger and made a really impressive arc of blue electricity shoot out of the end. But when he stuck it to Gilles' chest, didn't do anything. And Gilles, I mean, himself, Gilles himself, later said it was more annoying than painful. It was like, ah, stop it, stop it.

But what neither of them knew was that stun batons, or at least the kind that Twitchell had ordered, didn't work that way. It's not just a, and they fall to the ground. It's not a taser, because there's no actual pain involved. What a stun baton actually does, is pump 800,000 volts of electricity into the body. But it's not voltage that paralyzes a person

and sends them to the ground shaking. They don't use volts in the electric chair. They use watts. Ooh. What? Oh, yeah, that's fun. See, voltage actually pumps itself through the body, making the muscles work overtime

and converting blood sugar into lactic acid. And eventually, your muscles just stopped working. But in the case of Gilles and Twitchell, it was not an instantaneous effect, because Gilles just pushed the baton away and started to run. But Twitchell had another trick up his sleeve. He had a gun.

Ooh. But, gun wasn't real. It was just a movie prop that he'd rented from a production house. Okay. But, Gilles, he didn't know that. So he did what he was told and he got on the ground. But after Twitchell put tape over Gilles' eyes,

something just kind of switched in Gilles' brain. He said, I am not going out. I'm not going out like that. He started screaming that while on the floor. Good for him. And stood up. Good for him, all right. Yeah, ripped the tape off of his eyes.

He said, if he was going to die that night, he was going to die his way. There it is. Now we got ourselves a real strong inventory, man. Get down on the ground. Get down on the ground. Hands behind your back. And he's like, I'm not going out that way.

And Gilles realized, he was like, whatever's happening, I'm grabbing that gun. He took a hold of the gun. And all this came from the one that got away. And he was like, oh, shit, it's plastic. Yeah, it's a fucking plastic gun. So he starts punching Twitchell in the face. He's doing a punch it back and forth, meanwhile,

he starts bending the plastic gun back to Twitchell, screaming, you're going to break it. Oh my god. You're going to break it. Woo, what a douchebag. He's got to get his deposit back. Of course, yeah, naturally. All right.

Yeah, and Gilles, he said when he felt that plastic gun, he said it was the best feeling he'd ever had in his life. He's a hero. Yeah, they started grappling. And Gilles, he was actually able to kind of shimmy his way out of there because Twitchell was grabbing a hold of his jacket. So Gilles, he just kind of shimmied out of his jacket

and was able to roll under the still open garage door. Yeah, that's how John Candy got control of the wheel and planes, trains, and automobiles again after losing it. Well, he realized he got him to grab a hold of the jacket and he slipped out of the jacket. It's a good move. Slip out, yeah. And as Twitchell later recounted in SK Confessions, quote,

he made it to the driveway and that's when I knew I was pooched. What was that? What does that mean, you're a half dog? What happened? But Gilles almost didn't make it. When he tried to stand up and run after getting out of the garage, he found that he couldn't because the stumbaton had finally done its job.

So Twitchell caught up and started dragging Gilles back in. But when Twitchell let go for a second to raise the garage door, Gilles' strength returned and he took off running. All right. As when he's first crawling out, a couple of people walk past and he was like, help me, help me get in my truck. And the woman of the couple, which I find

is interesting, wouldn't let the man come forward to help him because she's like, we can't get involved. But the bit was Twitchell when he saw the couple and he's in a fucking mask and a hoodie with a fake gun in his hands and he frees and he goes, all right, quit playing now, this is my best friend and we're having a bit of a romp around time. Come on, buddy, get up.

He tried to pretend like they were just friends having like gay garage night. I guess so, OK. Yeah, and the thing is that as soon as Twitchell came out and started going like, oh, hey friend, the couple fucking bolted. But so. Not a hero duo.

Not a hero duo because they thought that Gilles and Twitchell were in cahoots and the whole thing was a ruse to rob them. I might just say this, overthinking it. Overthinking it a little bit. But when they ran, so did Twitchell. So Gilles was able to get up, dust himself off, and make his way back to his truck. Oh my goodness.

Oh yeah, man. And when he got back to the garage, he said that he could still see Twitchell's feet under the open door pacing back and forth. But still, Gilles managed to get in his vehicle, start the engine, and escape. OK. But instead of going to the police,

Gilles horribly embarrassed about the whole situation, which is totally understandable, went home and passed out from the adrenaline crash. And when he woke up and checked his plentyoffish.com account, Sheena was gone. That's so sad. It's so heartbreaking. You want to go, you're thinking you're finding it

because that's what he said to himself as that when he found her profile, he's like, yeah, a lot of people said that it was maybe done what I did. But I said to myself, you've got to give love a chance. You've got to give love a chance in a public setting where there's folks around for the first meeting. Maybe you have an exit stop. Maybe you do lunch instead of dinner so that you can get out

because you've got stuff to do at five. Go out to lunch. Sure. There's absolutely nothing wrong with internet relationships. Things starting on the internet. You guys across the room. But you've got to Skype. Yeah, you've got to see the voice attached

to a face and you have to be like, no offense here, Sheena. But I'm going to need you to hold up a newspaper. I just need you to hold up a newspaper so I can see what date it is. Right. But that's the thing is that when Gilles checked the account when he first got home, he would have found a message from Mark saying

that he was going to hunt him down if he ever talked to the police. But when Twitchell deleted Sheena, deleted all the messages too. Didn't even get the shallow threat. So you'll never saw it. And then that is where we're going to end this episode. We'll come back with the murder of Johnny Altinger next week when Twitchell is actually somehow successful.

Mark Twitchell. This is a I've got to say really fascinating story. And it's the most one of the it's one of the stories that is so current in pop culture. It's really fascinating. Man, it's just we talk time and time again about the power of nerds and what happens because, you know, we had a good time kind of joking about the lead up

to this first thing and this kind of thing going wrong. But it's it's very interesting to see how easy the decision it was for him right to do this to try to commit murder because they were saying that when he was writing House of Cards, he said that he researched traits of psychopaths. And it's a weird thing about that the chicken and the egg of people that end up identifying as psychopaths or people who are diagnosed as psychopaths,

which almost like it's psychopathic to look at the symptoms of that disorder and say, oh, that's me. I want those attributes. Yes. If you see someone looking at the psychopath test and you hear them saying, check, check, check, that is not someone to be trusted. Yeah, because it's weird, right? Because in a way, I always kind of trick

because we talk about it all the time in terms of like people play their own games with themselves where in down deep, you maybe know that there's something empty with you. But you just assume you're normal like everybody else. But as soon as something gives you permission to be crazy, there's something there's like a feedback loop inside of his own mind where he saw all of this shit about being a psychopath.

And he's like, that gives me my fucking get out of jail free card no matter what. Interesting. And if you are an actor out there, unless you see Jeff Goldblum, he's not in the movie. And if you have to go to Edmonton and the budget is $90,000, he's not in the movie. Jeff Goldblum will say a lot of shit after one of his jazz shows in LA.

He will respond to emails, especially if you're sending him an email as Sheena. He will respond to you because he's Jeff Goldblum. But do not believe he will be in your film until he shows up on set the day that he's supposed to arrive or at least gets to the airport because then it's a whole thing. But I asked a message to filmmakers out there that don't let this man's tail dissuade you from trying

to make your art. You got to keep pushing, man. You got to fight for that inch. Right. Well, I hope it dissuades you from being a serial killer. Yeah, I think it should. Yeah, I think it should. That's for sure.

Well, speaking of movies, we want to thank Fangoria. We had a great chance to be. We were on the cover. Our name was on the cover. It's a huge fucking dream. It was awesome. Our name was on the cover next to Tom Saviti. And Joe Bob Briggs was on the cover.

They gave him the picture, of course, because Joe Bob's a legend. Yeah, monster vision, man. Of course. So check out the new Fangoria. It's a little bit pricey. But the thing is, you can't get the content online. And it's high quality.

Great quality. It's great quality. So check out the new Fangoria. And we'll be doing a signing. What is it, the 19th? A 17th. We'll be doing a signing January 17th from 6 to 8 PM. At Forbidden Planet.

Yeah, over in Union Square. Yes. It'll be me and Ben. Henry can't make it. But it'll be the two of us. New York boys are coming. Yes. The New Yorkers are going there.

But honestly, the first issue of the Fangoria of the New Run was fucking fantastic. So good. It's thick as shit. You could beat a cat to death with it if you want to. I'm saying you should. Don't do it. You can also make a nice bed for your turtle.

What? I don't. Ever seen a turtle? Not a turtle's lift. But I tell you what, this is one of these stories. We're going to be doing a lot more of these more specific true crime stories, I think, in 2019. Because we love a good story.

Yeah. And I like telling a good story. And we'll give you blood. We'll give you guts. But part of it is good ass dumb shit characters, like Mark Twitchell, who I hope is hearing this in jail. And I hope it makes them scowl. Absolutely.

I'm sure that he will. The thing that will upset him the most is us criticizing his art. Yeah. Because it's crap. And I know people who do great fan fiction films, or YouTube, basically, because you can't profit off of it. This guy's a disgrace to the whole community.

Yeah, I wonder if he's listening from Saskatchewan prison. Saskatchewan. You guys remember that video where they put together all of the fan bits? It was all at a bar. And it was like Terminator and Star Wars and all the stuff. It was a huge, huge, like seven minutes long,

like a music video? Yeah. Is that? Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Yep. I want to quickly thank, someone sent me a copy of this DVD called Megiddo, the Omega Code 2.

I don't know who you are, but I can't wait to see this. I don't know what the fuck this is. And I also want to thank Amanda Rizzi for all the pictures of Plainfield and of Ed Gein's father's grave. Oh, nice. OK, very nice. And the alien, it's the butt-ripping alien jerky that she sent me, which I'm afraid to eat.

But thank you. Sounds great. And again, thanks to everyone who has bought our specials so far, $6.66. Don't forget to type in those three wonderful letters from 2001. Debia, Debia, Debia, Debia. Worldwide.

Debia, Debia, Debia. Lastpodcastlive.com. Check it out. And thank you for the great response. And that'll be there for the whole year. So yeah, it'll be the gift that keeps on giving. And you give to our patreon. Yeah, if you want to give us some money,

you're gonna give to our Patreon as well. Yes, thank you all so much. And the last stream is back. Adultswim.com slash streams every Tuesday, 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. It's always a great experience and a great time to hang out with friends. And it's so fun to have that evening with you.

It's better than going out and planning a murder. Yeah. That's for sure. You're right. Yeah. If that's the bar. It is. All right, everyone.

LPN, what is, what's our Twitter? LPN? Something like that? It's at LP on the left.com. It's all the snow. At LP on the left is for all our folks. Awesome. All right, everyone.

Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Hail again. Hail me. Magustalations. 2019 is gonna be different than the other years. That's for certain. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha.