Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 347: Mark Twitchell Part II - Some Kinda Ketchup Party

Episode Date: January 12, 2019

On the conclusion to our series on the so-called "Dexter Killer", we cover Mark Twitchell's actual murder, the delicious sting that got him caught, and the insane excuse called MAPLE that he blamed for the death of Johnny Altinger.

Hey, what's up everyone the boys of last podcast on the left here. I know you want to tell you about our new special We filmed it in Chicago. It was an unbelievable Experience and you can enjoy it as well go to www.lastpodcastlive.com Don't forget to put the www We're going in the way way back machine all the way to 2001 it's a technological glitch that we're trying to get tech support for but still just put it in the www

www.lastpodcastlive.com There's no place to escape to this is the last talk on the left That's when the cannibalism started I Want to amend the fact that I think I said last episode that I don't trust men with big legs in big big butts Did you say that I want to clarify that only holds to men Well, but you just so you didn't you didn't you didn't change what you said you just doubled down on what you said Yes, but that's important. I ain't no flip-flop. The one thing you know about me kissles. I ain't no flip-flop

Oh, I am I'm held firmly to the ground by my weight Well, you know sometimes when it comes to flip-flopping it could also be construed as like changing for the better But I guess that's not gonna happen. No, man big guys big legs You can't trust them that always hold. I don't know it doesn't always hold But women with big legs will be there to comfort you with their laps. Yes, they could also kill you in a matter of seconds That's right. All right, please. This is the last podcast on the left I am Ben kiss all and that's Marcus Park. Hi, Ben. How's your brain Marcus brains doing good? How's the book coming books coming great? Just finish another chapter. Awesome

Give me that work. Give me that work. I want to shout out to some fans that give me I have to introduce you Henry our guest for what is this episode 340 346? I think our regular guest of episode 345 episodes in Henry Zabrowski, I would I want to stipend to be a guest There's a big issue in Los Angeles about the podcast guests not getting paid and I think it's only fair that I get sure sure I wouldn't give a shout out to a couple of fans from Stab minton, which is Edmonton's also been known as apparently really well deadminton is much better than Stab minton deadminton is much better than stab minton. You can't just stab in front of anything

You could just like stab man town is how you could start doing that, but that requires a lot of edibles About 15 milligrams of edibles to work your way to that title But I want to give a shout out to some of the the death metal that was sent my way a band name But Grime Exemius that is from stab minton nice. It's pretty fucking killer Okay, and also idolatry, which is some black metal from stab minton, which is honestly, it's it's pretty groovy Oh, thank you for that. So not not everything is bad in Edmonton I also heard they've got a great big old-fashioned video store called the Lobby

I love it. No, there's a lot of great things in Edmonton. Of course. I think there's a CFL team out there It's the biggest mall in North America's out there. I am we know they're pretty upset about that But that has been I got many emails saying that yes, indeed. It is the biggest mall, but Minneapolis just needs to build a casino In the mall or out just outside connected to the mall and then they win again. Yeah, all right Well, why are we talking about Canada? You know why we're on to part two of this fella though again second biggest ebag Other than BTK mark tWitchell Oh, so after the attempted murder of gil tetro tWitchell was understandably a little bit jumpy

But after nothing happened no police no phone calls no searches He figured that he was clear to try again That's not the message that should have been received. Nope. You got away with one stop now So only six days after the attempted murder tWitchell created another plenty of fish account This one named Jen and waited. Okay, I'm gonna say I seen pictures from this account I mean Sheena at least didn't have a cross-eyed Well, Jen kind of had a cross-eyed not to like but bemoan whoever the real Jen was I got a Nothing wrong with the cross-eye. Nothing wrong with no eyes. Nothing wrong with

Whale eyes when they go to the side there. That's just fine, but that's a sign of fetal alcohol syndrome That's not why I'm not gonna blame the victim I there was a girl that had fetal alcohol syndrome in my high school Mm-hmm, and we sat together in home act and she was very very sweet And I loved her and she helped me Just you just be it like so you're like a baby that comes from beer No, that's horrible, but I will say for tWitchell so he was he's like he wants to go for someone attainable Mm-hmm, and he knows who he's looking for all right

Well dozens of men responded to the Jen profile But the one Mark tWitchell chose was another super nice dude named Johnny Altinger Who's just a 38 year old dude who worked as an oil-filled pipeline inspector? Hmm now unlike Jill who had told nobody where he was going that night Johnny told his friend Willie Exactly where he was going for his date because you know that it was those stupid directions the whole like go around to the back alley Find the overgrown garage walk through the door walk through the garage to get to the back door Right now the one problem with telling your friend Willie's you know really crucial information is when he shouts that information out in the town hall No one's gonna pay attention because he's old stoned drunk Willie

You're gonna go three clicks down the street and see the third garbage can and you're gonna find a half open the garage And it's not that one. It's the third half open garage. Okay Willie But the truth is is to remember again from last episode tWitchell had done that weird like kind of cute girl lilt in the description of the directions so it he kind of was thrown off and I mean Willie to his credit immediately was like oh, that's kind of that's kind of round about yeah And Johnny's just like just desperate for love. He was very much so desperate for connections That's the saddest thing about this whole story. Yeah, it really is. I mean, it's Mark tWitchell. He's another Serial killer. I mean, he's no different the rest of me. He's just another serial killer that goes after an extremely vulnerable section of the population

Because he's fucking weak, right? So the thing is about Willie's that Willie's like this sounds kind of off Why don't you send me the exact directions? Okay, why don't you email him to me? So I know exactly where you're going. No honestly, how hard is it to tell your friend, right? He's your friend. You love Johnny But no woman he has approached to maybe in the last couple years has been immediately like yeah come over tonight Yeah, and unfortunately you have to tell your friend like hey, listen, let's maybe set our expectations like yeah a little bit lower Like I love you. I think you're worthy of love, right? Um, I think she's gonna fucking kill you. Maybe I think she's a man, baby It's never too late for a Mike Myers

impression 2019 coming in like a torpedo It never gets old I could also see in an alternate universe if this dude shows up to the house and then Willie's having sex with her Someone who's been around the block and be like do you need all the directions to the woman that I would like to meet today? Interesting. Why would you eat that sir? What time do you plan to be there? Look at the road eight. Okay, cool. I get out of the gym at 645. So I shouldn't even say in this out loud Now had Willie not been worried about his friend that night much to Willie's credit There's no telling how many times tWitchell would have been able to pull off this dumb shit scheme

But even though those directions would be Mark's undoing it was not enough to save Johnny Altinger So on that night tWitchell was waiting in the garage for Johnny to show up because he'd learned his lesson from the stambaton Now he figured that the best course action Just fucking hit the dude in the head with a pipe as soon as you walked in All right, wasn't gonna do it wasn't gonna do the hockey mask wasn't gonna do any of that shit Just bam hit him in the head and then get to work It's unfortunate that he learned that that fast because that this truth is that it's really the hesitation is what allows you to make the Mistakes, which is what he made in the first time

I thought it was really interesting to learn how a stumbaton really worked Yeah, I didn't know that that's how it worked that you basically it's a long term like eventually you just turn into spaghetti I thought it just fucking like Because that's what's fun. That's a taser. Yeah, and now he's going the old clue route. Yeah And he was already keyed up because he'd had a hot movie date with his old college girlfriend earlier that day Spending the afternoon making out in the back row of the movie theater during a show and a quarantine Quarantine not the best remake just watch. I think it's wreck wreck. Yeah, right. Yeah, wreck is actually one of my favorite horror movies No need to watch record sweet and wreck three is one of the more

Gonzo trilogy that like one of the gonzo third of a trilogy I've seen a long time But it's pretty damn good Cool I also remember the time that I was I stopped my high school girlfriend for making out with me during Unbreakable because the movie was too important Well now you've got glass coming out But on that night He turned on the lights. I mean he's he did this improv movie. He obviously has improv training. Yes, and

I guess So mark he told johnny that he was a filmmaker and that all the shit that he saw around him was just a set It's a garage. Yeah, but it was still set till it was he had all the walls covered in plastic because it was his dexter kill room Remember sure and he had a fucking chair there with handcuffs that were going to be he was going to attach him to the chair He had fucking rope He had an open set of weapons like he had a whole torture Area set up for him to be able to play his macabre games You mentioned if ed gain pulled the same shit

But they walked into the house and like knocked into the body. He's like oh, this is a a film set Oh My goodness by the way the edgine chapter in the book coming out. Uh, well, when will the book be out? Uh, february 2020 looks like february february 2020 the edgine chapter is gonna send chills down your spine because I always forget how much art he was creating So when johnny walked in and mark twichel introduced himself as a filmmaker Twichel by his own admission in sk confessions. He couldn't help himself. He started bragging

This is what mark twichel wrote that he said to johnny altinger You might have heard of my stuff. I'm the guy you put together the comedy feature at our local film festival That's me Day players remember johnny fucking hadn't heard of day players. No one's heard of day players I will tell you talk about a true show business professional twichel would have made it in los angeles because I receive Fucking resumes and demos from uber drivers every other ride. Yeah, that's what you have to do You got to throw it down man. You got to throw that on that plug. Yeah, dude. I still hustle the show

Like I still tell uber drivers and fucking everybody about the show. It never ends Well, I told you guys my little trick if someone talks about or someone asks about I'll be like Yeah, you can find it on itunes and then I hit the subscribe button for them That's so scary. No one unsubscribes. No one unsubscribes. You're too big of a man to just take somebody's phone from their hands Don't take it. I hit it. I Henry I don't say it like that. I This is your family

Is this your family where you live? Well, I gave I got us at least five to six subscribers that way. So you're welcome Well after Johnny said that of course I haven't fucking heard of day players. He asked where's Jen? And mark said she'd be back any second. So Johnny said I'll come back later And so Johnny left and tWitchell tried coming up with another plan But before tWitchell could formulate anything Johnny immediately came right back like a couple of minutes later Why? Because he's he's really lonely. Yeah Oh, so it just comes for this date

I've been in situations like this before where you're uncomfortable. You're wanting it. You're really into what's going on You don't know how to act. You're socially awkward, dude Sure So he just kind of keeps coming back. She he oh at he as Jen Oversold him on her commitment to him and also The fucked up thing too is that she as Jen. He's like throwing nerd references shit in there Like talk about Star Wars, which is just as a a lonely 38 year old man and then you show up and she's not there and it's all super awkward

So when Johnny came back the second time tWitchell, he started improvising again He picked up his phone and he pretended like he was talking to Jen And then she was just stuck in traffic and she was going to be a half hour late Okay, actually, this is Jen right here. Let me let me actually take this Jen Jen And where you at Johnny's here to see you This is not me covering my mouth. It's not Yeah, I bet you I bet you you should have set the date for later. No, you're excited to sit on Johnny I can't wait for him to put that spoon in my soup. Okay

Hey And tWitchell, he told Johnny that he was more than welcome to hang around But Johnny at this point was kind of done with this shit. So he said no, that's all right I'm just gonna go home and on his way. He called up his other friend Dale and he told him the whole story He was like, this is really weird. I don't know what the hell happened here. I'm just gonna go home Okay, but then when Johnny got back home, he wrote a message to the gen profile asking what was up What the hell's going on here? God 20 minutes later. He got a response

Jen said the traffic cleared up. She was home and it was up to Johnny whether or not he wanted to come And so Johnny who said Didn't want to waste a Friday night. Oh, no figured Why not? Let's go try this again. You were out. You were out. Don't go back in So he got back in his car and he drove to the garage garage Oh, but when he walked back under the door, who else did he see again? But mark tWitchell and Johnny gave him a nod of acknowledgement and said as his last pain-free words in this world I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. What the what?

And that is when tWitchell brought the pipe down on his head. Yeah, dude. Oh my god. That's horrible People go a long way for love. Yeah It's very difficult when you throw down those weird expectations and then he sent the follow-up message to Jen Thinking like well now I'm really gonna set the story straight And then you just you know, you just tighten the net. Yeah, what year now is this 2011? It's 2008 So 2008. Yeah, like the idea of cat fishing wasn't quite so in the mainstream. No, not at all I mean that this sort of thing. I mean this is not the sort of thing that people thought could actually happen because What I think what a lot of people thought is these are the sorts of things that women have to watch out for

Right, you know, like women say, you know, always telling women like don't go off with strange men You know when you're doing online dating, but no one ever told Men about cat fishing. That wasn't really something that was going on at that point. That's people having people hadn't caught on yet Uh, so he thought yeah, this is weird But it seemed like he never once thought ever thought that he was in danger at all It was about fulfilling a fantasy of what the internet was supposed to bring to you. Yeah, right This is a former view of the internet being this like place of hope this place of connection Yeah, the utopianist view. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah, and

If you get a chance read the article from the internet utopian who apologizes for his point of view Yeah, but apologizes completely. He said I was wrong. We're not ready And Johnny was actually one of those old school internet utopianists like he was 38 In 2008 he'd been on the internet since the early 90s like for him. This was you know a dream come true This was the promise This is how it was supposed to work. Yeah, this is how it was supposed to be But since humans are are always going to be the ones behind the internet It's just going to be an extension of humanity, right?

Now Johnny he actually didn't go down easy He tried fighting back as tWitchell just rang the pipe down on his skull again and again But all that stopped when tWitchell pulled out a combat knife and shoved it into Johnny's stump He then finished the job with a stab to the throat And that's one of the things that you really forget when we talk about this entire story We've been making fun of mark tWitchell for an hour, you know, and he fucked up the whole Uh murder of yield tetrodes. Like you kind of forget that like this ends with a knife in a man's throat Uh, it doesn't end just with a knife in a man's throat. It ends him fucking

Separating him piece by piece. Yes. Oh my goodness after he killed him tWitchell hoisted the body to the table that he'd used in house of cards and Dismembered this poor man with a game processing kit that tWitchell had bought at a hunting store He separated the arms the legs and the head from the torso before shoving it all in garbage bags This guy is a as we know a psychopath Yeah, and if you want a psych if you want examples of a psychopathic behavior Listen to this description that he wrote in a sk confessions about his behavior during the dismemberment dismembering a human body was a relatively unexciting event

But I had my ways of making it more fun. I sang to myself as I worked talk to myself Reflected on the new tools. I would get to make the next one easier Now once in a while, I would take a break check my email answer a few phone calls Check the status of my ebay page and have a bag of chips ketchup chips Oh my god This is a part of where I really kind of almost want to examine right because this is a goofy motherfucker He's got a big stupid waggle and asked who can't trust and he makes terrible movies and up until this point

He really is just your classic Just loser with a dream that he can't seem to attain Who's cheating on his wife doing all this crooked shit and but also but he seems kind of goofy This is a part where it's that that is what's interesting about the psychopathic personality, right? Is the shallowness, right? That that is really the key is that it goes straight from he's talking Flippantly about the movies that he's making and plugging his shit And then the next moment he is literally gutting a human being right the description that he does In these sk confessions about how surprised he was that guts

Are like sausages and then when he pulls them all out like he thought it would be kind of like the gore you see in movies But he was like can you believe it? It's like a bunch of bangers And it's the it's the way that he looks at shit with no emotion that is very very scary And you start to realize oh this guy was of ticking time bomb this whole fucking time Yeah, and of course, you know, it's interesting when you think about the message behind an artist's intentions. Miley Cyrus is bangers It's actually about little hot dogs And that's something that not a lot of people focus on so I think that's good So what is it? What is this called when you think you're the star of your own movie?

Like it's narcissism. Yeah, but you know that is narcissism I remember there was someone who said something mean to me on twitter And then I was like that was mean and then they said oh, I hope I didn't offend I want to apologize to all of my fans and they had like 12 followers I'm like, what is that mindset like they still don't even think of people like that straight up narcissism and narcissism and Psychopathic behavior go hand in hand. Okay, not all psychopaths not all narcissists are psychopaths But most psychopaths are narcissists It is it's interesting because the internet seems to have allowed like many people to exist in these little bubbles

because it is anonymous and because no one ever has to have Kind of the words come out of their mouth like checked by someone physically in real life That some I think a lot of people can say whatever they want on the internet because they're not worried about someone who they're saying It's you fucking knocking them in the face. There's no accountability Yeah, there's no accountability. So these guys are both an example of these burgeoning personalities that the internet would then create Which is like now I think we're going to see I think for a while We thought that maybe the internet would squash the idea of the heavy hitter and the of the fucking like iconic serial killer But I think we're just going to get more and more of it

Well after the dismemberment tWitchell took down the plastic walls cleaned up the room with ammonia Loaded the dismembered corpse into the trunk of Johnny's own red Mazda and with great difficulty because he couldn't drive stick Pulled the red Mazda into the garage What a fucking dwee I just couldn't even do it. Every kid should learn how to drive stick. I don't know if I'm just an old person saying that I learned how to drive a do manual. I got a yellow geo metro. That was the most fun thing to drive the whole time I would love to see you in a yellow Geo I was I was a little bit like the tall guy from the Simpsons. I was longer than the car

It was a yellow geo metro convertible and in the um tape cassette player an REM tape was stuck And so it was all just like it was I think it was automatic for the people So it was just nothing but REM me dropping all day you hammered listening to man on the moon Just careening off a curse because like that's how you know you're in the middle of the road Is when you hit the curb you know to adjust Yep, I drove across the entire state of wisconsin having a little fun Well, this is an even bigger example of Mark Churchill's psychopathic behavior And it tells you that he wasn't lying about the casual nature that he dismembered Johnny Altinger

After he did all that shit. He talked to his wife immediately He was so detached from the entire situation that he was able to formulate a lie on the spot Pulling an excuse from the day in all May from house of cards telling his wife that he'd just been at the gym But she was he was even wrong about the gym because he says oh I'm just leaving the gym and she's like the gym closes at nine. I checked my watch hurriedly. It showed 9 57 It's like, what are you talking about, babe? It closes at 10 the big gym by your place No, my old gym, babe. I thought you cancelled that membership a month ago I I procrastinated and I did it a few weeks ago

But I still have a couple of weeks this month that are paid for so I figured I take advantage So this takes an hour to cross town anyway. This is the conversation. He's happy. Oh my god After all the well, I'm just gonna say if you're a person in a relationship and And your whole brain starts to look like a like a risk board of all the flags are going up Just like pay attention. Yeah pay close attention. But this woman, you know, and he did this is after he'd already told her Yeah, I think I'm a sociopath. I don't have any empathy for anybody like and they're in couples therapy They're trying to make shit work. But you know, it's get it's getting to the end But if you are a social brand new kit, they literally have a brand new kid

I think their daughter was eight months old. Oh my goodness It's very very scary. Remember this big Little eyes or seeds for big lies. That's right So you've demeaned people with big thighs big legs and now little eyes No, no, no eyes I have little eyes I have little eyes. Well, he might be honest off and then about big lights No, but the nice about me is that you never know really what I'm thinking because my eyebrows cover it little furrows

And I'm like little fucking burning horse holes in my face Then after the conversation tWitchell, he just went home and he couldn't wait to tell someone The day after Canadian Thanksgiving Mark sent a message to his dexter buddy Renee Hero quote I've had something keeping me busy But I'm really concerned about telling anyone because of the implications Suffice it to say I crossed the line on Friday And I liked it Meanwhile, she was just doing fan service. She's just talking to dexter and being like when season four cover it out like at this point

She's just having a nice time. Meanwhile. He confesses the murder and she's like, oh Oh, oh, did he post that that was in a text message? No, it was in a Facebook message. That was a Facebook message This woman Renee he after uh She had followed his dexter personality on Facebook for a while She messaged him and then they started talking honestly, uh as each other Okay, and you know and she would you know like uh a lot of people are she's like, yeah I have dark fantasies sometimes, you know like a ton of people do Yeah, and she thought that she was talking to somebody who also had like kind of a darker mind

She's talking about getting spanked. Yeah, she's talking about like that shit She's talking about like like maybe like a rope like tie a little rope like her wrists to the bed It's something like a like light smm. She's not talking about actual murder. Yeah Someone else who has a dark mind Lars von Trier. Yeah, and he's made some Phenomenal films house that jack built is fantastic. Oh, it is disturbing. It's got some it's got some moments. Yeah. Yeah, I loved it Oh, I like the house that the very end sequence was fucking sweet. Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing The thing was is that girl wasn't the only one that mark chochel confessed the murders to okay according to sk confessions tWitchell also sat down with his infant daughter

and told her the whole story writing quote The cool thing about a seventh month old is that you can openly tell them anything and they can't rat you out Mama data. It's like shut the fuck up. You know what I mean? Like just shut the fuck up You're a piece of you're a piece of shit dad Yeah, yeah, you think so, huh? I think you're a piece of shit. No. Oh, yeah. I'm good. Did you see my bumblebee costume? I won the howler. I won the howler research becoming Canadian Oh my god, honestly, I know the seven seven month old doesn't understand anything. No, but there's something so immoral

About saying that to a child. I mean, it's just so disgusting. Yeah And you know, it's just to not have that block in your brain that says like whoa, there's a kid. Yeah I don't even like saying fucking front of infants I know that Oh, yeah I don't know they can't understand it, but it makes still makes me feel weird If yeah, I never take my clothes off in front of a child or anything like that Even though I know that they won't remember what my body looks like. No

But johnny his presence was missed almost immediately Because neither one of his friends had heard from him since friday night and dale got even more worried When johnny didn't show up to a planned rendezvous on sunday Hmm, but twitchel had planned on all that because this was all a part of his dumb shit game On october 12th twitchel broke into altinger's apartment and logged on to his facebook account onto johnny altinger's facebook account Mark Zuckerberg is also complicit in all of this. Yes from there twitchel posted this status John altinger is taking off to the caribbean for a few months. See y'all when I get back Oh, yeah, the dude who checks holes in oil pipes is just gonna go into the caribbean for a few months

Is it caribbean or caribbean? I think it's all up to the motion of your ocean buddy. However you want to do it I am hard for it Then twitchel changed johnny's relationship status from single to In a relationship. Oh after he changed the relationship status. He then posted another status saying quote John is taking off to the caribbean for a few months. See you all when I get back Wondering why anyone would leave sun and surf to come home to snow and stress Fuck a d-bag No, of course johnny would be like very afraid to take a plane tomorrow. I wish I didn't have to

No kid. This is a working class dude in Edmonton. Yeah, he's just yeah, he's a computer guy and not to mention it with a Really significant important job. Yeah, and he's very straight laced, you know And he plans everything out like he's very much a planner like all of this is so far out of his Realm of normal behavior. So twitchel just thought like everyone would be like, oh, okay Okay, yeah, I mean, can you imagine that honestly though someone, you know, like who's a person that you wouldn't expect? um like to just show up and If travis walked into the office and was like, hey guys I'm going on a helicopter trip tomorrow all over the world with my friend john like he's like he's gonna take me out of here

He said he's gonna pay for everything. So see you later. It'd be like, okay, travis Cool, enjoy your fucking three-month vacation. I could see travis actually doing that. I could actually see him doing that. Yeah But someone more I I'm trying to think I just don't think I have very straight laced friends. Not really. It turns out. No No, I think all of my friends at any moment could leave me for multiple months Everyone's pretty unreliable. Yeah Well, after he did the whole facebook thing He then sent out a form email to all of johnny's friends and johnny said it saying that he'd met a wonderful Rich woman who'd swept him off his feet and as such the two were going to costa rica for a vacation

But I'll just call you guys in like a month or so. I'll call you when I get back. Don't worry about it. See you later I thought he was going to the Caribbean Yeah, costa rica. Oh, that isn't the that isn't thereabouts. Is it? Yeah, they're close. Yeah, I'm not a pilot. I don't know Uh, you could go from Puerto Rico to costa rica. Okay. Yeah, no costa rica's in south america. Yeah I don't think so. This is a bad conversation. No, I You have to google a map I have to we have to google this Okay, costa rica. Where is it?

Caribbean costa rica caribbean. Let me look at it Oh, it's just a picture of a person saying you're an idiot. Yeah. Oh, look at that. What's a coconut? All we see is a picture of a coconut It is on the coast rica is it is in the Caribbean. Okay. Yeah. All right. Very good. Good answer So now everyone that's listening can stop shouting at your car We got it Meanwhile twitchel still had johnny's body to get rid of and his first attempt When about as well as you'd expect see twitchel have bought a barrel off the internet for the express purpose

Of using it to burn a body, but doesn't he realize that's all paper trail. That's all an e paper trail I mean, he's a fucking moron. Yeah He's not really planned for the for any of He's not really planned for any of the true like repercussions of his action. Okay. He just thought that the whole world That's the narcissistic slash psychopathic personality. He thought the whole world was just gonna open to him and see you of opportunity And everybody would always make sure like he would be safe because he's special. Yeah, I see. Yeah, and he's also cosplaying You know, like he's cosplaying his dexter. He's living half in a movie So he's not thinking about all of the repercussions of the paper trails and all that shit and you'll see even more examples of that later

Okay But twitchel figured that it might be a little suspicious to burn Johnny's body at the scene of the crime So he put the garbage bags containing Johnny's dismembered body in the barrel Loaded the barrel up into his Pontiac grandam drove over to his parents house And tried to burn the body in his parents backyard. You're in canada. It's 50 uninhabitable It's woods. Yeah, go to the woods Go to the woods follow a beaver

Go to see where the beaver lives because beavers also don't tell your secrets Of course, you know, if he'd done a moment's research He'd know you can't just dump a coffee cup full of gasoline and a barrel on a body and expect it to get hot enough to burn the entire body And that's exactly what he did and the way he described it too is very like it's like a child It's like and I went and I got the gasoline and I put it on his body and wouldn't you know it It just burned some of his clothes and it's like I don't have time for this I don't have time to be doing this. Good god Yeah, and you might have tried it longer than he did

But after pouring coffee cup after coffee cup of gasoline onto the body Tritchel started hearing sirens Freaked out doused the body with a garden hose, but the trucks are actually going elsewhere They weren't coming to him because there was a billow of black smoke coming off of the corpse that he was burning But the whole thing it spooked him enough where he figured burning a dead body in a barrel in his parents backyard Probably wasn't the best idea. Yeah. No, dawg. You fucking idiot. Oh, we're going old school. No, dawg. Yeah. Hey, that's a good idea That's a good idea Not

Oh, yeah Fuck it all. What does he think he's all that in a bag of chips? He can go out there and he can just take care of this body and fuck this great parents house God So he loaded the now gas covered body parts into his car and went home But somehow this whole episode had put him in the mood for love So he called up his college girlfriend Tracy to see if she was down for him to come over All of this was him playing deeper into his fantasy though of being a dexter like sexy bad boy Yeah, that's what he feel it's all of his are pieces specifically

He is orchestrating in his life to be like, yeah, because that's what he says in his confession He's like, yeah, I mean like what else can you say about a man who's Happens to be a serial killer who's cheating on his wife with his college girlfriend He thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Jesus. Yeah Yeah, but he almost didn't make it in a scene that is so Canadian. It's almost beyond belief See mark was speeding that night and he blew right past a cop car Now what's important to remember for this story Is that as we said in the first episode?

tWitchell had a vanity license plate that said Dark Jedi So as soon as the cop pulled over mark the first thing the cop said was quote Well, the force wasn't very strong with you tonight. Now was it? Oh, what is this dork jedi? Yeah, what nerd world are we living in here? So mark gave him an excuse that he was speeding because hey guy. I'm a filmmaker I got to get to the airport because I got a big celebrity coming in and he's already mad that I'm not there yet Of course. Don't say. Oh, is that true there? He? Oh, right. All right, right. You got to pick up can't be late

To get bill Murray already. This is appears in a golf cart. Oh, it's not it's not bill Murray. It's his brother It's his I the other Brian Brian Doyle Murray Brian Doyle. Yes. Yes. Love a C class Murray Yep And it kind of sort of worked you know because the cop find him only half what he should have But after coming back to the car to hand over the ticket cop had to get in just one more crack As soon as he got back to the car he said quote Hey, uh, tell me uh, are you Darth Vader? I don't like funny

Don't change their actions their actions are still they're gonna lock you up But they're being funny and then at some point you realize they're just making fun of you But in this case it is worth it To watch mark switchell because you know him white knuckled Like in the car this guy be like, oh tell me. Hey, you better hurry up because you know the rebellion might fizzle If you don't make it to princess leah's house on time God damn it How do I kill this cop who call me darth raider? Everyone knows i'm fucking darth ball

Hey, listen, you're threatening a police officer. You're speaking out loud, but in canada It's because we're nice you can go Yeah, and if this cop wasn't so focused on being funny And if maybe he would have done a couple of sniff sniffs, right? He would have noticed that mark switchell's car still reeked of gasoline Well, that's what happens in canada when their law enforcement training is just watching police academy movies And the body wasn't in the car. I mean he dropped off the body before he went over to Tracey's place. Okay, but the car was still

Full of evidence that would have directly Implicated him in the in a murder. So he dropped the body back off at the garage. Yeah at the garage. Yeah Yeah, but still like if the cop wasn't so focused on the fucking star wars license plate, right? They might have caught him a little bit earlier. Well, that's actually a good use of a vanity plate. Yeah, honestly It's actually a pretty good comment on if you want to get away with murder You'd get yourself a jackass vanity plate and only everyone's just roasting you for that But mark made it to tracy's just fine and as a result We have one of the worst written sex scenes in history

What follows now is mark twitchell's actual love scene that he wrote for himself in sk confessions cleverly replacing the name tracy with I'm gonna go with um, stacy Lacey To your version though, but stacy if stacy was supposed to be like a good girl, then I would say yes Yes, you use the stacy. Okay, but a lacy

Here we go She let me inside dressing her pajamas and no sooner had I dropped my bag on the floor than we were making out intensely We moved to her bedroom and shut the door to keep her dogs out We kissed passionately and juicy anticipation of what was coming Yes, she lay on her bed and opened the pajamas to reveal a sexy set of white lingerie style underwear The bottoms were thong which always gets me insanely turned on Her large deep green eyes stared seductively into mine and I couldn't resist her even if I tried not that I would want to try

Being with her took on the pace of quickly catching up to how we used to be Lacy and I explored each other for a good two hours of my trying several positions All of them making both of us crazy I was free to suck on various parts of her body and go down on her for as long as she could take it before Need me inside her again the way she felt The way she tasted All so familiar and so amazing to have again. She came to orgasm four times before I let myself

Get to the same place and when we were done there was no describing the contentment we experienced Okay, honestly, I when you read big foot erotica it is more erotic than that Man, I will say nothing shows a man is more truly confident than describing how good his sex is Oh, yeah, totally. I also can't stop hearing like This whole time while tWitchell was trying to get rid of Johnny's body and having disgusting sex with his college girlfriend The police were refusing to file an actual missing persons report flat out refused They said as far as they were concerned, this is just a guy going through a midlife crisis And they considered themselves lucky if they was going to Costa Rica for a nice vacation

This is a this is a canadian police theme I mean you could say they're looking at the cup half full Or you could say they're not doing their jobs, but this is what happened with picked in the whole crew I tell you what you came here filing a missing persons account But uh, you know what I got to say you're being a hater you're hating on his lifestyle and you're hating on his freedom You're jealous under a troll. Now you get out of here before I give you a ticket for being a troll you big goon Yeah, it was the it was the exact same thing with pic looks like you know, they probably just I don't know You know wit somewhere else. Yeah, you should probably forget about it. Oh my god

Yeah, and it wasn't until Johnny's friends broke into his apartment and found his passport still sitting there That the cops finally got off their asses and started asking around about Johnny Altinger Okay, but the thing was they didn't even really start with the garage Even though they knew that was the last place that he'd been They just sent some guys over there to look through the windows and they were like yep not here I tell you what I was gonna go look in the window, but there's drapes Yep, can't do it This is I mean as far as police work goes who these this sounds right up there with some of the worst

It's pretty lazy. You got a missing persons report You got a passport obviously proven that you didn't friggin leave the country And then you got directions to his last place of where he was alive. What's lazy about that? I filled out a whole report what I saw I looked to the window there. I counted 97 holds in lace I count Ford four to five vertical slats from what I could see From the little scritch it went. It's mostly what I could see through the window from my car Oh, I see

Yeah, they just drove around parking lots at the airport Even though johnny didn't have his passport they focused on parking lots like he said They just didn't want to get out of their car Like oh, we drove around for a while. We didn't see nothing But if they know you believe me we looked hard. I opened up my window at least two times and I said johnny I mean families look for a missing dog more than this Yeah, and if they would have gone to the garage a couple of days sooner They would have seen johnny's red mozda parked inside because the thing was like I said the mozda

It was a stick twitchel couldn't drive standard So he called up his goofy friend joss and gave him a song and dance About how some guy had just come up to him on the street He told him some rich lady was taking him on a nice vacation and hey, how'd you like to buy my car for 40 dollars? Yeah, that's totally reasonable completely plausible. It happens every day. Absolutely. Yeah. No, absolutely You know how I like I call you up me like hey, castle, you know how I never owned a mozda before. Yeah But I have a mozda. Would you want to buy it for me from 40 dollars for fit or I just gave it to me on the street Really? Well, yeah, it does happen on a regular basis. Yeah, I'll take it. Give me the money. Take the mozda. You take this mozda

Yeah, because he was trying to get somebody to take care of the car And that was the only thing he could figure out as to why a red mozda suddenly showed up in his possession There's nothing more Masculating than not knowing how to drive a stick if you if you have to learn how to drive a stick I'm gonna drive a stick. Come on. It's better to just confess To murdering a person than say that you don't know how to drive a stick And the friend who by the way that friend was the same one whose parents gave tWitchell $30,000 for day players not the brightest family

This guy totally bought the story and stored the car in the driveway at his parents house Does joss by any chance have braces? I just think he might joss was his pa Hey, josh was the guy that it's not josh. It's not josh. It's joss. It's joss. Yes. Yes joss Definitely is a 40 year old person that like rides a scooter to work. It's like a skateboard But as is pointed out in the devil's cinema if josh would have if joss would have looked a little closer He might have noticed all the goddamn blood stains on the back bumper Because tWitchell didn't even bother to clean it up. Good god. Oh, somebody must have had some kind of ketchup party The body though wasn't inside when tWitchell handed over the car and the time since

tWitchell had dismembered the body even further which he Disgustingly outlined in detail in sk confessions and dumped the parts into the sewer just a couple blocks from his parents house I'd even go through some of it, but most of it. It's just kind of long It's just long and gratuitous It's the way he describes cutting off the knees where it's like he got the leg and he's like That's the easy part really is cutting off the lower half the leg because you just got to get to the joint The upper part is what's really hard because all the fat that's involved again It's the way he's breaking it down in the confessions that are just like he is fucking checked out

Yeah, isn't this this is a relatively residential area right for the most part Yeah, how are you just the the shitter is full like how are you just able to dump a corpse into the sewage? It's an alleyway, you know Yeah, and also people pay attention to their own business A part of is keeping a neighborhood where people I mean this is stab man town Where people know to not be witnesses No, I know but if I see someone jamming a foot into a goddamn drain pipe Like it's the dude jamming a person into a wood chipper in Fargo. I'm just gonna like just dial the number for the cops

Hey, hey So by the time the police finally caught on that the guy who rented the garage where the victim was last seen Just might be involved in the crime. It's actually what's so aggravating is it's such an easy Investigative case. Yeah, by the time they figured that out Johnny Altinger's body was long gone And tWitchell, he damn near got away with it too If not for his own hubris. Hmm. I thought you were gonna say pesky kids He was perfectly helpful to the police who you know the police they Agree that it is you know real weird that a guy should go missing in a place where all this killer stuff is

Well, the first interrogation he does with the police It's like the the police are so bold over that he's the filmmaker that they're asking him stuff like Oh, so how many cameras do you have in there? And it's like he's describing his whole operation He's bragging about day players. He's plugging day players and they are all like, oh, okay And then he tells them all this bullshit immediately About how like, you know, I'm not always in my garage Sometimes people come in out of the garage and you're like all this, you know the constant lies Yeah, like my brain is going to explode. What alternative universe is this man a good artist?

I don't know man. Why would anybody care what what this guy is up to artistically? Well to remember threaten Threaten the band they lied all their way to get in a fucking article in the Rolling Stone, which we will never receive No, I know that we're not cool enough for the Rolling Stone. Um, which no one reads anyway No, and it's not called the Rolling Stone. I don't need to give a crap what it is Who gives a shit? You know what I mean? It comes down to it. No one reads it Well, that's the thing is that tWitchell, he planted another seated doubt by telling the cops that when he got to the garage Wouldn't you know it? There's a different padlock on this garage now. Maybe someone else has been in there I don't know and tWitchell when he went to the station to do the interview

He made sure to talk about his Star Wars fan film as much as he could just begging Anyone to acknowledge him as a filmmaker. So he wants that he wants the cops to start investing Yeah, good. It's him like he might as well have like brought in a lightsaber and then and like watched all them go like Oh, wow. So this is legit. This is this is set worthy. Oh, you could see all the knobs on it. This must be legit Now, if there's something to the idea because this is still during a time where people thought nerds were really nice Shy harmless people as opposed to the power nerds that we know today Yeah, um, so maybe they thought because he was such a nerd. There's no way he could pull something like this off Possible. I think you make a good point because like the detective in charge of the case

He watched the tape of that interview with mark tWitchell and summed up the whole thing with one sentence Does not come across as deceptive And this is even with the testimony of the guy that said johnny had called him After going to the garage the first time I was like, hey, there's some guy here. This is real weird I mean, I got to say this. I love cosplayer. I love the cosplay community. You are all the wonderful people Um, but you are all deceptive That's the entire point is deception I know you're not actually robbing from Batman

That is just saying that anybody in show business is deceptive. It's more just the weird speaking It's it's interesting because show business can have an effect on certain people They do truly believe that if you're in show business I think there's a little bit especially at this time period before a lot of the Since now the veil has been quite lifted on the the background of the filmmaking so people know a little bit more But I think then they're way more like well, he wouldn't want to jeopardize his career by murdering somebody like they view it as very important Oh, god And tWitchell even gave him one more look at the garage and they were of course

Perfectly polite about it according to the book when they wanted to search the garage one more time. They asked quote Can you meet us there or or what works for you? We don't want to inconvenience you I mean, I don't like aggressive policing. No, but then we also can't have passive aggressiveness Because I guess I can investigate Yeah, if you feel like it'll do anything if you want me to come down and investigate Yeah, I will but you got to tell me to come down there and investigate Now at first glance, you know, because that was all the cops are going to give it at the time The garage was clean. I mean tWitchell wasn't a pro by any stretch of the imagination

But he'd done a good enough job to fool people who were doing a half-assed job Right But right before the search tWitchell, I guess trying to get ahead of the story told a police officer that he'd bought a red Mazda from some guy for $40 earlier that week without the car even coming into the conversation once so Never try to get ahead of the story. No, never try to think that they never do this Never say anything extra to a police officer, especially if you did a crime Never and the irony is everyone thinks that the cops know everything. Yeah, they know nothing. Yeah

Most of the time they are totally clueless Yeah, and with that because the cops had spent most of their time looking for Johnny's red Mazda rather than looking at the actual murder site The missing persons case Turned into a homicide and mark tWitchell's life quickly fell apart Wow, they only had to be given the case on a silver platter And they jumped some gravy on it some cheese. They made a they made a homicide poutine I urge you if you want to see kind of acting at its finest Is to watch the second police interrogation in its entirety on youtube, which does exist

It's like an hour and 15 minutes long when they bring him back in because it first starts with him Talking about star wars, right? There's one version of it. How does he stop it? I haven't seen this. How do they broach the subject of star wars in a homicide investigation? He starts it because all I'm being like, well, that's because I've been so busy with my fan film and then he describes it And they're like so it was bull buffet the gay one and he's just like no no no no They don't get gay until the last jedi. Oh my goodness Yeah, I even told the cops that he had an email address with the name kit fisto in it Kit fisto kit fisto is one of the more embarrassing prequel characters

Hey, it was like an attack of the clones. You know that really embarrassing scene at the end where they're all fighting in that little pit It's a horrible scene. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's the one with it that smiles really big with the black eyes and all the tentacles coming off of the I can't believe he likes the prequels. Yeah, and he actually went his kit fisto like cosplay A fan did send me pictures of mark twitchill in his bubble beat costume because they had pictures from the howler then And it was pretty ornate. Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure Well, the only thing twitchill had to offer about the murders was that someone had broken into his car Not too long ago and they'd stolen a writ receipt for the garage That was probably the same guy who'd sold him the red Mazda for 40 bucks

And he'd probably been the one who put the new padlock on the garage And he was probably the guy that johnny had told dale that he'd seen So why don't you go look for that guy? And I also heard he had he had one arm like a one armed man and he was Asian Oh my god What's that reference again the cable guy the cable guy We've done this many times. I know no that movie holds up to it's freaking weird

Admittedly, you know the cops did try to press twitchill particularly this guy Detective bill clark who actually has a nice little catchphrase. What's that? Holy mackerel. Holy mackerel. You wouldn't believe the kind of deception he's trying to pull above my eyes and I say I tell you what You can't fool me like the rebellion did sneak it into the death star You can't do that because I got eyes on everything. Holy mackerel. All right He came right out and said that there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that twitchill was involved in johnny alton jerse To a disappearance. Yes, it turns out he tried to defend johnny And he was in the fight and then he got over kate taken by a one-armed man in twitchill's face

It what a fantastic acting job. It is the face of any single time you do this when someone says like Uh, kiss old did you take the garage out and you go? What you asked me to Take the garbage out when garbage When was it now explain? Garbage I don't believe that anything is trash my thing is yeah, one person's trash. You know the person's treasure. So would I throw out treasure? Yeah, I'm going to take the treasure out

But his brain his face of him going. Whoa. Whoa. What? Yeah, like he's never he's like I feel like I'm in the twilight zone right now. Was there's a quote that he said oh my god Yeah, and if you want to hear another douchebag quote Uh when the detective told twitchall that he wasn't going to be able to live with himself if he didn't come clean Uh twitchall responded with You'd be surprised with what I can live with Okay All right

And after that statement twitchall lawyered up Yep, but even though they didn't get a full confession They had enough evidence to impound mark twitchall's car. Okay, which was still Chalk full of evidence despite mark knowing that the cops were on his trail because that's the thing It's not like all this happened over the course of a few hours mark had days to get rid of his bullshit So what do we got here is about a three week investigation from start to end? No, it's about like three or four days I think oh, okay. Yeah, it's yeah Once it got going it got it went pretty fast

He has a ton of time to get by the time I think between the time that the cops finally started looking for johnny and the time Things finally started going to shift for twitchall About three or four days. Okay, so but yeah, because once the car once the car became a major center of the investigation It was over for him. Yeah, like him just mentioning the mazda because mazda was just sitting in somebody else's garage Yeah, so no one it didn't have to go anywhere Yeah, the cops like no idea that twitch they didn't even ask twitchall about like they may have asked like have you seen a red mazda around here somewhere Uh, but the cops weren't asking twitchall about the red mazda at all

They might have caught got to it eventually But he was the one that brought it into the conversation and that to have made the whole thing come tumbling down It seems like maybe he wanted to get caught so then he could be famous for it Maybe I mean either that or he was lazy or he was stupid because when the all of the above could be He felt that he was a genius and that he was Unassailable. He thought that the cops were stupid. He thought that everybody around him was stupid He thought that everybody would again just assuming the red carpet would roll out for his entire existence Right. Mm-hmm

Well, the most damning thing that they found in mark twitchall's car Was his laptop Because at that point detective clark figured that because of the whole horror movie vibe that he was on the lookout for A snuff film. He was going extreme. He became nicolas cage from eight millimeter Yeah, no, that would make sense though But what he found instead was the next best thing When ebbmonton police looked at the trash folder on mark's laptop They found an unfinished 35 page document called

sk confessions. This drives me fucking nuts He put it. He didn't even empty it from the trash bin. He thought he finished the whole thing He then just put it into the trash bin. He didn't empty it. They just clicked on the trash bin. They saw sk confessions They opened it up and not only does it have a complete and total description of every one of his crimes, but it also Explicitly states these are the stories. I will tell the police if I'm ever caught And does the rundown of the entire bought the Mazda from a guy on the street bit, right? It is uh, interesting that he um He it seems like he did fulfill his script. Yeah, he did. Oh, he did it on purpose all of this

Which is so bizarre They also found a bunch of yellow sticky notes stuck to the dashboard of mark's car on which mark had written reminders I mean most of them were inconsequential. There was one that said this Chip ebay items cod piece helmet because that's how he was making part of his money. He's making cosplay items Right, of course, totally fine. So yeah, he just he just shipped off a brand new Darth Vader cod piece. Okay. Yeah, right Yeah, but the to-do list that was embarrassing and incriminating said quote kill room clean sweep Fuck tracy senseless

That was one of his reminders that he wrote to himself in his Do you need a reminder for that that he shared with his wife? His wife should have fucking strangled him Think about this shit is that he's doing the same thing too. He loves hiding in plain sight He thinks that he just thinks he's so much smarter and better than everybody else. He is a massive massive idiot Yeah, and he kept the murder weapon too He kept the combat knife and it still had Johnny Altinger's blood on it. He just left it in a backpack in the floorboard Wow, so with all this evidence a deep search was done on the garage and they found blood

Everywhere when they gave it a close look Including on the bottle of the ammonia that tWitchell had used to clean up the damn place. There you go Yeah, he even kept the fucking pipe. He kept the pipe And not only he kept the pipe he kept the pipe on a shelf and not only did it just like not Anacuously look like a lead pipe, which is why we have in this in the first place. Are you a fucking plumber? Or it was matted with blood and he had taped hockey tape all around the end of it So that he could grip it properly Which was also soaked in blood and it looked like it was from the Negan from walking dead

But it wasn't until the dna came back as a match to Johnny Altinger that the police were finally able to move on Mark tWitchell and to their credit they did it in the sweetest cruelest way possible. This is the best sting I've ever heard in my life. They set up a fake comic con So listen to this See mark figured that since he hadn't been arrested yet He might never be especially if they never found the body right because tWitchell figured that even if he did get arrested He could just say that he and johnny got into a fight and johnny ran off So while living in his parents basement because his wife had kicked him out

Mark started working on his costume for the next howler He went ahead with his cosplay Now what is this costume going to entail ironman? Nice Then he got some fantastic news He got an email from a potential new investor who'd seen his star wars fan film And this investor wanted to know how he could help. Yeah, so mark He gave him a day players pitch

Can you imagine if it's like, you know from a woman and then he actually did follow up and go meet up this person And it was just a dude who fucking beat him to death with a pipe How sweet that would have been that would be karma. So he met with some dude. His name was like Edmund monopoly Don't look at my Subaru. I am a millionaire Oh man in an addition to that the 35 000 check from john pincet at venture alberta had finally arrived Under the condition that it be placed in a trust and only used for filmmaking purposes Okay, and you know that he got that check and he's like this needs to be placed in trust I can't use this just for my bills. No way

Then the next day after you got the check twitch will got another email from the new investor saying this day players thing Pure gold. Where do I sign up? If you had a chance to watch this past week's last stream on the left again, you can watch that at adultswim.com Slash streams every tuesday apm easter standard time. Uh, it's horrible. It's awful. Yeah, it is unbelievably bad find it on I think you can find it on youtube. It's on youtube. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so he asked where do I sign up? Let's meet this friday. We gotta fucking crank this out this weekend. This is the best acting comedy I have ever seen and he's just there. He's got his iron hand man helmet on He's got a tidy white. He's on dancing his living room being like everything's coming up twitch

Oh, yeah, a little tom cruise little risky business happening Dude, he must have thought that he casey anthony's his way out of this entire thing. Oh my god. He's about to skate He's just got rush blasted. Yeah, he doesn't care who here He just wants the whole world to know that he ain't he ain't slowly going towards success He's rushing towards he's in the fast lane and what was more friday the day of the meet halloween Mark twitches. It's his favorite holiday. Of course. Yeah, it's his favorite holiday because yet today he gets to wear the costume Sure, man. So he is Psyched that morning. He wakes up. He puts on his windbreaker. He puts his tickets to the howler in his pocket

And he starts his brisk happy walk to the coffee shop to meet up with this new investor Perfect But as soon as he reached the end of the street A white van sped off the road and a whole host of tactical officers spilled out of the door and ordered twitch Oh to the fucking ground The whole thing had been a ruse That must have been so fun. It's just like laugh and shippin like how about we offer him $85,000 Yay, I would love to watch a bunch of canadian junkie. Please pour out a white van

Something very funny about that. The whole point of it was to get twitch all out of his dad's house Because they didn't want to stand off or anything like that. So they got him a they made a fucking sting to lure him out of the house By telling them that his career was about to take off Got your fucking ass Oh This is passive aggressive police work. It is passive aggressive police work And So twitchel was finally under arrest for first-degree murder and when the police were searching twitchel's parents house for further evidence

twitchel's father reportedly turned to one of the detectives and said quote Officer can I offer you some advice? Have a vasectomy What Come from he was not happy with having a son. No, I thought he was Mean to the officer because the officer looked like a horrible or something. No, no the joke was that he greatly regretted having children I I understand he got a bad egg

While while his son was under arrest for murder He figured it was a fun time to crack a joke to one of the detectives a a detective He'd give me some advice have a vasectomy Canadians Bits why is everybody got a fucking bit he's non-stop bits That's kind of what drives us nuts every time we go because they deliver bad news, but in a joke It's not a joke because the reality is still bad No, even though they had a mountain of evidence

They still didn't have the body and twitchel wasn't giving it up So detective clark figured he'd play on twitchel's love movies and took him on a videotaped tour of edmonton To try to get him to break Honestly the way they did treat him they do now switch to which I like is they lay the pedantry Deep on him. He's been like, oh, you like films. You like films Well, we sure little film of our own look here the star of this movie You love acting right and they're sort of taking them around and each time they're like here show us the body if you could Tell us where the body is wouldn't that make a great movie and then when you get out

You can make that movie and it's true. They were like Roasting a miracle they roasted him a hard Well, here's a clip uh from that videotape Hey mark, are we beating a dead horse here? Are you gonna tell us where the body is? Simple question mark. Can't you answer that? I think we've been pretty decent with you. You can at least give us an answer on that Our investigation is impeccable our evidence Evidence is flawless

Evidence speaks for itself as I said Jesus it sounds like the heart family from wrestling and having Thanksgiving dinner And the look on his fucking his gross little goatee. He's got pimple fucking Face all fucking tiny little doggy eyes, and he's just like trying to like not look at like when a dog's in trouble Try not to look at you. It's like him like looking into the corner. He's like, come on. Where's the body? What did you say in your email when you sent the uh the clip to me Henry is it sounds like an uh interrogation from toontown? It really does Well, you know to you know detective clark's surprise twitchel didn't say goddamn word the entire trip just stared out the window the entire time

So they took him back to county and waited two more years for twitchel's trial to begin Wow, why did it take so long? It's just you know It takes that long it takes it takes while the the wheel is the justice turned slow my friend. I know that Now you think of someone like mark mark twitchel wouldn't do very well in jail But apparently he ran the goddamn place twitchel twitchel the other inmates they were terrified of him Just based on his reputation He was like a cell block boogeyman to the new inmates when they come in like oh watch out. That's you know, that's mark twitchel No, that's the duty dresses up like freaking bumblebee

You can feel free to beat on him any day you want but it's how true crime reporting goes right forever. They all Emphasize the dexter killer the man who'd made a murder dungeon in order to create a sea of snuff films They thought he was fucking Hannibal lector. He's the boom boobie killer Yeah, yeah, he's the fucking comic book boy murderer You're the only incident in which a prisoner tried to step up step up to mark twitchel Was when a guy tried to hit him with a shit bomb. Oh, what's a shit bomb? A shit bomb is a canadian prison prank That needs to be a show I watch a lot of those lock-up shows locked out. I watch a lot of those prison documentary shows

It's brutal. They need to go to canada just for some comic relief Can you imagine yet? They're just all in the showers the prison showers So this is like, you know, it's kind of dour and kind of mean all of a sudden a moose comes in and a big prisoner's uniform Okay Love this show a shit bomb Is when a inmate fills a fritos bag with shit and piss Okay sets it on the floor in front of another prisoner cell And stomps on it. Okay. Just sends shit and piss flying. It's like a shit rocket. Okay

But in this case the prisoner stepped on the wrong side So the shit bomb backfired and covered the prankster and shit instead So canadian, you know, you know that twitchel took the moment to look at him being like The force was not on your side And everyone's like, whoa Oh my god, but of course if you're going to do the shit bomb, I'm assuming you have to have the open end facing inside the cell But that's the thing if you step on the wrong side, then it still pops out the other end I don't know. You just take the shit in your hand. You throw it in his fucking face. No, that's not that's

Unseemly. That's not a prank Henry. There's no art to that. No No, you gotta have the shit bomb. It's it's canadian jail. You gotta be funny about it Well to make things even worse for mark twitchel Gilles tetro Had also come forward after twitchel's arrest following a press conference in which the cops displayed the shitty golden black hockey mask That twitchel had used during his assault on gilles tetro. Okay But since twitchel had a lot of time to fill when he was in prison waiting for his trial He started casting his own biopic

Which he unfortunately shared with the author of the devil's cinema meaning We know Yeah See there were two choices for twitchel's lawyer Jim carrey that was one choice If you wanted to take one more stab at drama, Jim carrey could be allowed to be a part of this project The only thing he was a lawyer was in lyre lyre, which was technically supposed to be funny. Yeah, lyre lyre is funny. It is funny

Okay, yeah, lyre lyre is funny. I haven't seen it, but if jim carrey has to tell the truth No, I understand what the freaking I have seen it. I know what the premise is He was a lawyer's lawyer all the time, so it's really difficult because just the job of being a lawyer sometimes requires you to bend the truth I understand that but no one talks about how demonic that kid is who hexed jim carrey AKA his dad that was pretty powerful juju, but technically that was the lesson he needed to learn all the time that sometimes Even if your job is delayed the truth is what you need to do because that's what makes you live a good life Well, sometimes you sell tell someone the truth the next thing you know, you're an asshole That is the fine line

Well, jim carrey wasn't free. He would also accept Hugh lorry But only if Hugh lorry wanted to get out of the whole typecast in hell that he was stuck in with house He also definitely is sick of all that tv money. I know that for a fact. I know how actors work We get so sick of making all that money All we could hope to do is some independent feature in the middle of edmonton to really shake it up Now as far as the prosecution went that could be handled by casper van dean From starship troopers. You know the chisel face one. I love it Starship troopers just rewatched again totally holds up. Love that one of my favorite. It's a wonderful wonderful film. I love it

The other person for the prosecution. That's natalie dormer. Let's go from game of thrones. Okay. Don't know her now. Cool by the judge That's your big name character right there. Dan acroy. Nothing but trouble. Come on. Dan acroy. Nothing but trouble I don't know. It would be hard to step on it because an acroy doesn't like his visions to be sully bob deniro bobby deniro You get bobby, you know, you get joey, you know, you get marty in there That's a whole you have them be on a jury you have smarty Playin the fucking babe with that be fun. I don't think deniro makes a good judge. I think it's bad casting

He's an outlaw. He's the one on trial You could see him a little bit going like uh crime. Hmm me guilty. Maybe a little bit It's hard to do it. It's hard if you can't see without the face because it's really the face of him with a big Silly wig on because this is candid too. So it's him going. Hmm. All right. Hmm a little bit talking to me I've got no you can milk me. It's just him, but it's like I'll beat the fuckers. Milk me. Oh my god. Actually men can lactate within uh with extreme stress. Good. Yes. And breast cancer is like a skunk Yeah, it's like a skunk getting away from danger and men also can get breast cancer. So guys get your checkups. Thanks for bringing that up. No problem

But when it came time to cast himself Mark Tritchell just couldn't decide. Oh, yeah, it's hard, but he was able to narrow it down to three. Okay. Well, we guess this I'm gonna go. I woody harrelson. Mm-hmm. Well woody harrelson nicolas cage and another what would be a great, uh Let's go with a um a young Let's go with a young maybe a james franco type. Hmm interesting I have it in front of me. So I know what it is. Yes, henry knows. Okay

Guy pierce No, no Oh, yes, I can see it. Oh, I can see it. Yeah, uh ryan filipi Got to be right. I was actually thinking ryan filipi But then I went james franco because I couldn't think of filipa's name Or if he was lucky Matt Damon got to be matt amen. Honestly, it's a pretty good lock if it's matt amen. I can see him doing it. It is

Nice, you know who it's gonna be the fucking fat redheaded kid from the sandlot. I Love that kid. Love that movie Now as to be expected twitchel's trial was just as bizarre as the murder itself See twitchel had finally given up the location of johnny altinger's body on june 3rd 2010 About a year and a half after he was arrested But that's only because it was all a part of his defense See twitchel fully admitted on the stand to killing johnny altinger But in twitchel's version of the story. It wasn't his fault

The fault lied in a frankenstein creation of twitchel's own devising that had taken on a life of its own and destroyed its creator The whole thing could be blamed on maple maple and twitchel laid it all out on the witness stand himself during his trial Wait, hold on. This is syrup on a tree. What what is the maple leaf? What does that mean? It is some Canuck horseship I don't want to pin on the rest of canadians. Oh, no because I respect them And I know that they none of the rest of them would be as hack. It might as well have been called moose Okay, what the hell is this thing? Well, maple was an acronym. Oh, it stood for multi-angle psychosis layering

Entertainment this guy sounds like freaking gary bucey. Yes false expectations appearing real fear I honestly very inspired Extremely inspiring love the abuse the maple was twitchel's genius pr plan that was gonna catapult him to the top Because twitchel was planning to apply maple to house of cards See his plan was to take it beyond just a short film He was gonna turn house of cards into a feature a novel and an online marketing campaign Which was yet another ripoff taken from the Blair witch project campaign that was done back in the 90s

Which was sweet, which was great. I fucking loved it man. The original Blair witch. Well the campaign. Oh my god It was incredible. Yeah. Yeah. It was so fucking cool the movie. I I never saw it I saw the movie. I just never saw the I I was like watching I was like, where is it scary? Yeah But anyway, it was interesting. You should see it now because you probably find it scary now Okay See just like the Blair witch the plan was to create an actual urban legend where nobody knew whether the whole thing Was fake or real because remember that was the whole thing with Blair witch right because they marketed it as like maybe it's real Maybe it's not exactly and twitchel was gonna do this by luring men to his garage

So when the movie came out guys would go online and say, whoa, this actually happened to me Not first. Does he understand that they still cast Blair witch and there was an audition process? There was a lot of shit that happened. It's all the maple system and it works It's really weird how he just didn't understand key components of how things get created Well, this is just his excuse to try to get out of murder. Okay Yeah, he's just trying to figure out a way to scramble it and and not Confess the fact that he was such an entire dumb shit That he wrote every fucking single thing that he did in a document that he didn't even properly

Delete it just seems to me like someone who's like I'm starting a podcast and then they have two empty Peek hands. You're talking about somebody who's truly very insane. Yeah, that's where we're at. Okay Now first twitchel said that he planned to just talk to these quote-unquote recruits When they showed up and convinced them to play a part in the story But then he decided to actually scare him. Oh good and of course it got out of hand He said the whole thing with gil who by that time gil had already testified That whole thing as just a goof. That was a goon. It was a goon. It was a goon. You beat You tased a man until he couldn't walk as a goon. It's just supposed to scare him not actually kill him

Gilles just totally overreacted. I think he underreacted actually. He reacted man. He just oh, you know, he's just acting like a like a baby You know what I mean? This is a spin-off from canadian prison pranks. It was supposed to be canadian garage pranks Oh As far as sk confessions went that was the novel part of maple that wasn't confessions That was the novel that was a novel. He was writing a novel. Did he know that the 38 pages isn't enough for a novel? It's not even enough for a novella. I believe it has to be 75 pages to be novella Then that was the matter of johnny altinger's dead body which twitchel had of course led the police to Twitchel explained that away. It's just self-defense. He did kill him

But it was johnny's fault if I know one thing it's always the fault of the person who ends up in a body bag Or in this case a garbage bag. Yeah, he said that he learned his lesson from gil So when johnny showed up twitchel said he was totally upfront about being a filmmaker and he was to be fair And he tried to convince johnny to play along with his little game He's like, I'm sorry that I tricked you with no no say it right marcus. I'm sorry. I tricked you. I'm sorry Excuse me. I'm sorry. I tricked you with the profile But you know, I got this whole little thing going. Maybe you want to be a part of it Okay, but according to twitchel johnny who in real life was the gentlest kindest guy around

Suddenly got angry kicked him and grabbed the pipe and went berserk And that's when twitchel said he grabbed the knife and killed him. It's like he did it himself Yeah, about that stabbing mark twitchel actually said on the witness stand as he was telling the story He actually said this quote sickest feeling ever Oh, I want to grab him. You remember when jason picks up the guy in the sleeping bag and

Just hits him It's a woman. Yeah. Yeah hits her against the tree again and over and over. I just want to do that to him I think it's very interesting that anybody views killing and dismembering somebody as like hashtag adulting That's what this feels like Then he said he freaked out dismembered the body and dumped it in the sewer but After hearing sk confessions and seeing the mountain of evidence against twitchel. It took five hours total Which included time off for lunch. I was gonna say

It's probably just break for lunch, right? Yes. I'm pretty certain. Well, you know, if we make our decision now We're not gonna get lunch into it today. It's the ham and cheese See what you got it down there like those right guys because the thing is if you don't get in the first 15 minutes The ham starts to cool The cheese starts to cool and I like it to be gooey. So I say give him the chair Yeah, mark twitchel was found guilty after five hours deliberation Woo for the crime of first-degree murder mark twitchel forever a failure Received the maximum sentence of 20 years to life and is up for parole in

2033 or as the line from the very first episode of dexter goes and this is true This is a real line from the first episode of dexter There's one less amateur filmmaker polluting the internet I love it. Well, you know It would take some massive reform for him to be ready by 2033. Oh, no, he's not. I well, he might get I mean He's a model prisoner. Uh, I know that he has gotten on some dating sites. Yeah Yeah, he has he has gotten some dating site and uh, gil tetro. He got back on plenty of fish Got you, man. Get back on that bike, man. I know but there's other things out there

Again, like a deli or a bar. Yeah, he got back on he said you got he said I'm not gonna let it ruin He's like, it's not plenty of fish's fault. It's mark twitchel's fault. Uh, I gotta say I give I give it to the guy for Not letting fear ruin his rot Well, it's kind of plenty of fish's fault for allowing someone to go and create a fake profile with just one picture with no background Check if that's actually the person. I know whenever it does that No, no one ever does that Does it have to be some background? No, you've got your phone number in don't you have to give like a social security number or something? No

No, the way it normally works. You're gonna be verified. They use facebook to verify you But what if your facebook account's also fake? Yeah, so they do that shit No one is anybody no one is ever actually who they say they are even if you meet them and they look like that person They still they still are lying to you and when we shape form it takes years to truly understand What kind of flawed person you're dealing with? Yes. Oh my goodness. All right. Well, there it is two parts on mark twitchel This story it's far. We got one murder We got one attempted murder, but for some reason this story is extremely compelling Yeah, and he's a fascinating guy to break down psychologically because I'm just gonna say this he's cuckoo bananas. Yeah

I think that he is yeah cuckoo bananas. I think that he could have Used some time in film school or doing they're having a real job But you know, he didn't think he had to go to film school because he already had it all figured out Well, what's interesting about this story is that this is a serial killer who got caught on the first murder very lucky Yeah, very very lucky that mark twitchel would have killed more. He had two more planned He was going to kill his old boss And he was going to kill tracy's ex-boyfriend and he was probable I'm sure he would have killed his wife at some point his parent god knows who

Well happened what would I imagine what happened is eventually all of these things would really start building up He was an asshole didn't know how to tell the story. He didn't know how to cover his tracks Eventually his wife was going to find some evidence and then she would need to go and then He loved his daughter, but also the way he viewed his daughter. He viewed her as an accessory Yeah, I don't think you would talk about how great it was to take her out Because chicks would talk to him because he had his daughter He viewed the daughter as an extension of himself and she he didn't see her as an autonomous being I don't think he did love his daughter. You don't tell your daughter about a murder

At seven months or 17 or seven years old. I mean, it's crazy I mean this guy's got the same psychology as a lot of the other guys that we cover It just so happens that we caught him on the first try and he was stupid enough to write everything down brilliant All right, everyone. That's why I want to say there's no reason to document everything. No, I mean sometimes Do you know what's a good sometimes memories? memories That is funny. You say that when we do our live shows, which by the way check out our live show

www.lastpodcastlive.com Check it on out and and I thank you all so much for buying that. Yeah, thank you so much. It'll be out all year So continue. Please god buy it. Please god Kissle don't cry We're okay. We're okay kissle. Okay. Um, let's see. Do we have anything to announce? Do we have anything to talk about? No, dude, I think we're good. Yeah. Yeah, we got we got shit coming up We got you know, please if you want to give it to our patreon patreon.com slash last podcast on the left It's fun. It's fun to support and we you get fun things for it

And if you want to follow anything on twitter to just get the up just get the shows last podcast network last pod Network on twitter and I believe that's the same on instagram Yeah, if you want to find out what's going on the last podcast network each and every day Just go follow us at last pod network on twitter and instagram And you'll get a notification when we got a new episode out because we got a whole shitload of shows over there Yeah, a lot of shows that ben is also on a lot of shows. I'm also on Yep, Henry's guested on a lot of shows over there as well and we got a nice Uh stable of extremely talented people out there. They're putting out some really cool shit

So yeah, go check us out at last podcast network.com and uh follow us at last pod network on all social media stuff And we're gonna start putting ads out for the other shows So you'll probably hear an ad and if you hear an ad about a show that sounds interesting Please check it out and subscribe and support because we're trying to get the whole network together To be one solid unit. That's the goal for this year. So we have a lot of cool announcements this year We're gonna have a lot of like I think a fucking kick-ass content coming out a part of it is remember this is it's all just us It's diy operation. It's completely independent and we're gonna keep doing that. No lords No fucking masters for this group. No as far as I'm concerned. They try to even fucking. I don't want a goddamn boss

I don't want me as a boss. I just fired me. Henry, you're fucking free for the day. Thanks Henry We're like AEW the new wrestling promotion coming out. They're gonna have shows on tuesday nice or new japan pro wrestling Which is a little bit corporate in its own, right? But we're we're not the wwe over here because we give you content that you want No, we're totally into shove things down your throat And we're also gonna be doing an event with another totally independent operation Next thursday me and ben on january 17th. We're gonna be at forbidden planet, uh in manhattan Uh appearing with some people from fangoria for the second issue of fangora We got a uh a little interview in fangoria this month. Awesome. So me and ben are gonna be hanging out at forbidden planet

I think from six to eight six to eight on january 17th. We'll be giving you our giant john hackencocks. Yeah. Yeah It'll be really cool. I really wish I could fucking be there. I'm very sad to miss that Yes, no We'll have a little cardboard cut out of you or something and then make it like a bunch of melons so people can feel on it All right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourselves Hail satan. Enjoy this good goofy feeling because next week. It's gonna get pretty fucking dark Yeah, we're getting 2019

It's gonna start off with a hit Uh-oh Hail game everyone Hail me Magus deletions Oh Can it be halloween yet? I wish just want october to be here. Yeah, it's a long ways away

Hi guys, it's carolina hidalgo from last podcast network I co-host a weekly podcast called movie sign with the mads with frank conif and trace beliu The original mad scientist from the hit cult tv show mystery science theater 30,000 that's right tv's frank and dr. Clayton forester along with myself spend each week discussing and thoroughly dissecting a movie We've recently seen premise of our show is very complicated. I hope you can pay attention We come in once a week and talk about a movie Okay, I hope you could keep up with that past episodes included classics like taxi driver the godfather and sunset boulevard To our live show recordings of the shining indiana jones in a temple of doom and close encounters of the third kind

To newer releases like to shape of water hereditary get out and mend some we like some we don't we agree We disagree, but in the end it's all about movies and you the viewer and your suggestions the viewer No, it doesn't come through that way. It's on the radio. It's on a podcast a podcast and it's free There's no real continuity between the episodes so click on the movie episode You'd like to hear about check us out on itunes soundcloud wherever you can find podcasts Or just look for us on last podcast network calm under shows. Thanks everyone and enjoy the show