Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 351: Ouija

Episode Date: February 9, 2019

Join us this episode as we discover the history of the Ouija board, from the origins of this mysterious device to all of its magical uses as well as the numerous grisly murders that have been attached to it over the years. 

Hey what's up everyone, I am Ben Kissel and I'm with Marcus Parks. Hi Ben. We're gonna talk to you a little bit about Abe Lincoln's Top At, it's the political show that Marcus and I do, it's a lot of fun if you want to get up to date on the weekly news of politics, check out the show, you know, I think you'll like it. I think you'll like it. We're reasonable. We're reasonable people.

We're fine people. We're fine people. So that's good, so check it out cause there is a lot to unpack and hopefully it helps you get through your week. So hail yourselves everyone, thanks for listening. There's no place to escape to. This is the last top. On the left.

That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Hi, hello. Ah, my name's Prater Archibald. Did you ever forget it? Just think of a friendly little tater top. Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path.

Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path. Welcome to the right hand path. This is very serious, and I know I sound like a silly person, but I'm not I'm very serious

And I hold within me the wisdom of the ancients, and I've spent a long time staring at my own belly button With crystals in all of my pockets. Do you have an idea what my budget of crystals are at this point? I'm feeling offended I don't know. I'll give you some cash. Do you need cash? Did you bring a compass? To free draw these circles and you know these elementals they go skip-scappin around If you've got your circles properly drawn. Hey, what's up everyone? Welcome to the last podcast on the left I am Ben Kissel with the never tired always fully awake always fully happy and energized Marcus Marks Hello, Ben, and we got Henry Zabrowski in beautiful sunny Los Angeles, and it makes me upset

You may want to do some form of magic sure and you think you've got your fun little goth eyeliner on and you think you've got all Your candles, but that's not what it take it also takes a pretty Deep fundamental working of Aramaic I'm talking a lot of homework people. This is not for that. This is not for your cool kids This is for the nerds. I love you know, I love community college spiritual class. It's really exciting So you might wonder why is Henry doing that character? Is that what you're wondering? Well, I'll tell you why because today's subject It's near and dear to my heart. I have personal experiences with today's subject as well We're gonna talk about something that you say. Oh, how can they do a deep dive on this subject? Well, we're gonna show you

We're talking Ouija boards. Yeah This is again, how many times can we say the sentence dog meat? This is what you think is a easy not easy subject But you think like oh how much is involved in the Ouija board and then you crack open just the very top of it And you realize it is huge Insanely Complicate well, you know what? This is actually the Ouija board is a it's a it's an interesting tool, of course. It's also to summon the devil

Perhaps it's also a good way to teach your children the alphabet Haunted way to fucking teach your children how to use the alphabet Yes, their heads are spinning in the throne in a p-suit, but they'll know their letters They'll know their letters. They'll know the numbers, you know zero through nine Sticking a crucifix up their pussy, but at least they're fucking move the nail in kindergarten. That's great So out of all the pieces of a cult paraphernalia floating around this world the Ouija board is probably the most popular This is something that I have no doubt that a majority of our listeners have used at one point in their lives Oh, yeah, but you've been doing it wrong

Do you have to be naked to play the Ouija board or can you do it closed? It's however they feel comfortable. Some people feel they want a whole temple experience Which sure if you're gonna spend an afternoon at haunted Pier 1 Yeah, you can kind of replicate that for yourself But other people will do it even just with a black pair of gym shorts Frater, have you ever been arrested for being naked in a Pier 1 by any chance because I think I saw you on the local news I was asked to appear nude Mostly because it was closing and it was a revenge

It was revenge from one of the shift managers against the big manager But I was what's gonna say freighter archer ball does not exactly the most liquid at the moment But despite being so popular readily available and easy to use by pretty much anyone Most people can't agree on exactly what the Ouija board actually does or even what it is Wait, hold on a second. We're talking about something supernatural and spiritual and people can't agree. I cannot even imagine people not agreeing on this There's usually a consensus in this realm The thing about the Ouija board is it really is it about how seriously do you take your own mind? Mmm, and I think that's weird because do you take your mind seriously kiss old? No

I already gonna say no the only way to survive in this backcrap world is to not take it too seriously But if you believe you're seeing the upper echelons of the angels That are in the a higher category that help create this whole universe and a part of the driving cabala-esque Energy from the abyss that issues forth and you're seeing those with the Ouija board or you're talking to fucking your aunt that is either a Your aunt or it is a it is a an elemental that is Parading as your aunt. We're in your fucking aunt's panties. Well that we're getting way too ahead of ourselves Thank you, but I will say in high school I we summoned a spirit deb-deb almost killed my friend Josh cons how how did be

Almost killed your friend Josh was putting he put Doritos did not make Josh cons drink Fucking what was it steel reserve? Josh was he was a sober guy. We were drinking Mountain Dew But no he threw chips on the thing when we were playing he was mocking deb-deb on the drive home a cars coming towards him Turns off their lights almost dies another gang initiation There's no gangs and Stevens point no we call it we call ourselves men's group And then a little animal got into his way and he had a swerve off the road and perhaps he saw a ghost perhaps Anyway, he was right

Well while some like well-known Christian fundamentalist frauds Ed and Lorraine Warren considered They considered the Ouija board to be an evil gateway into the realms of the devil But others see it as nothing more than a fun trip into the subconscious Still others most notably Alistair Crowley saw and see the Ouija board as a legitimate magical tool That can be used to access the realms beyond to speak to everything from elementals to inarchy and angels you don't understand Honestly with Alistair Crowley as I was going back through I was reading the book of law again Which is a beautiful little piece of poetry? That's why I think it's really cool every man and woman as a star is really an interesting thought But then you think about Alistair Crowley and the list of men and women

He was both inside and he had inside of him while he was on the Ouija board So used to like he would get a freighter from one of his groups He would get him over to his house and he'd be like fuck me Fuck me fuck me now. I can feel the surge I can feel the surge and these ghosts at first they draw a bunch of fucking they have to get their rulers out They draw all of the fucking right-hand path shit on a piece of paper and then it's like alright. I'm plenty greased now reply You're warned so you guys this freighter who's like an intern from the fucking the golden dawn they come and stick his dick inside a fucking Alistair Crowley right of course like you know, he's working it like he's Cardi B

after a failure of a third album and He's seeing he's like yes. Yes. I see the southern watchtower. Oh the curtain of oomba opens before me But what's the other guy seeing? I don't know. Yeah, what's he feeling there inside Alistair Crowley and Alistair Crowley see in the realms of the Unreal with the Ouija board zipping back and forth Plansion zipping back and forth and he's just he's already come right. You know what happens after you come You feel nothing. You're now the all romance is gone. Hmm. What are you watching? You're just watching this evil curly After he after he has his orgasm He probably just writes out on the Ouija board time to watch TV and then he's like

The Ouija board it said we had to go watch TV and it says here freight archibald will make mr. Crowley a sandwich What's really interesting about that entire rant that you just went on Henry? The only thing that was really taboo about what you said was that Cardi B's third album wasn't very good Because I think we have some listeners who will probably quite upset. I haven't heard it She's gonna be a senator soon You're gonna be a senator. Why not? Well, whether the Ouija board is truly a gate into another world or if it's just something fun To do with your buddies There are some people for whom the board gets twisted into something different entirely and sometimes that ends in murder

You're dear me out there. You're there in 2001 a 53-year-old woman from Minko, Oklahoma named Carol Sue L. Baker was playing with her Ouija board when she thought that God spoke to her through The board and told her that her son-in-law Brian Roach and her 10-year-old granddaughter were evil and had to die Sometimes they got it go honestly the son-in-law probably ate all of her frozen goods Angered her immensely. You know how aggravating that is of course the pizza for yourself And then all of a sudden your son-in-law is consuming it on the couch. I had fucking roommates in college My one-room college fucking buddy. He left town stole the last of my bologna. That was a big fucking deal. That was my bologna I can literally see you like in a black robe with a picture of him burning as you have sage

Just chanting a death chant upon your roommate who stole your bologna and the devil just be like Yeah, technically, that's not quite worthy of me. I am a devil. I do feel like you'd be like yes, this isn't most egregious So Carol Sue grabbed a knife and approached Brian who was a former mayor Mind you while he was sleeping in bed She then sunk the knife into his chest and sat there as he bled to death and begged for help Then she turned on the granddaughter But the girl's mother Carol Sue's daughter was able to wrestle the knife away before any damage could be done How strong is this old lady?

She's not old. She's 53 still I could I could wrestle a knife away from a 53 year old woman, right? From Carol Sue Elvaker. You know what? You're right. Yeah, not if you're sleeping But instead of calling the police Carol's daughter and her kids got in the car with Carol and Helped her flee the scene. Why the biggest mistake was letting Carol Sue drive. Let the Ouija drive Let the Ouija drive. He knows there's no way to go That is the craziest thing of all they let the woman who just stabbed her husband stabbing killed her husband They let her drive. You know what? You don't have those rules within your family where it's like my father has to drive He shouldn't be driving anymore. He goes ten miles under the speed limit

But it's like the whole family you run to the car the whole family stop wait Carol's got a drive She's like, oh, where are my kids? Going through a fucking huge purse So trying to finish the job that she'd started Carol Sue Elvaker took the car on the highway and drove Headfirst into a sign pole. Oh my goodness But Carol Sue was the only one with injuries. She broke both of her ankles in the crash Crazy very specific Every time you say Carol Sue. I remember that early 90s movie curly Sue. Yeah, I remember it was a John Belushi vehicle

Uh-huh. It's kind of funny there. Maybe it's maybe it's the same person You know what maybe it is I'm glad you added that Orphan she had a troubled past maybe but even with the broken ankles Carol Sue still tried to push her 15-year-old granddaughter into oncoming traffic. Oh my god She was thankfully unsuccessful But instead of waiting for an ambulance she wandered off into the woods near the road where she was found later Completely nude. This is not my will the Ouija told me to do it

He wanted to see my pancakes and he wanted me to rub them on top of all these tulips That is just I do what I'm told I'm following orders Me and Herman has I Mean she is a she's a tough chick I guess yeah broken ankles walking into the woods like that. Yeah, just hobble all the way out. Oh my well She was found not guilty by reason of insanity What's well and but here's the interesting thing no history of mental illness no history of substance abuse She was just one of the unlucky few who for whatever reason

Fell into a state of obsession and madness after using the board Now as far as inanimate objects telling unbalanced people to kill someone goes I'd actually put more money on the television given murder instructions a lot more often than the Ouija board does okay I'll tell you what the television doesn't definitely makes me feel a Murderous rage sometimes more than the Ouija ever has yep But even if it is just our subconscious working its way through our fingertips when we use a Ouija board There will always be something mysterious magical and dangerous

Surrounding it which is precisely what makes it so much fun. Yeah, it's not even fun So on today's episode we aim to take a deep dive before we get into it Let's acknowledge our sources we used three books for today's episode And that's not that's scratching the surface folks scratch in the surface all right. We used Ouija the most dangerous game by Stoker hunt. No, that is not a real name I don't even want to go down Ouija gone wild by Rosemary Ellen Gilley and Rick Fisher and of course Ouija gone wild is when the Ouija shows you its tits That was right for the Ouija to do that yeah and Rick Fisher and Rosemary Ellen

Guiley they belong in jail. Yeah, because of that video There's a whole chapter on how the Ouija just spells out boobs and you can do it with eight zero zero eight Or you can just do it the more traditional way alphabetically. I remember Rick. I remember middle school Yeah calculators. We literally looked at numbers and got a rouse. That's how desperate we were and now kids are looking at God No, no, they're looking at God The last book is Alistair Crowley and the Ouija board by J. Edward Cornelius He loves his J horror man. If you look up his website, he is but he's a real deal Yes, he's like a old-school like Phelomite

Oto dude is a writer one of the of absolutely fascinating book yeah about the deep deep Magical properties of the Ouija board which makes me very honestly at first I was way more into experimenting with it We bought a Ouija board for our house and then as I'm reading the Alistair Crowley in the Ouija board It was like oh, this is I'm out of my depth Yeah, I need to read more books before I use this thing now Did you get your traditional Milton Bradley or did you go where brothers or it's Parker Brothers? Yeah, Parker Brothers technically Hasbro, but we'll get into that. Oh later

So let's get into a few tales of the Ouija starting with where the damn thing actually came from or at least what we know About where it came from So for those of you who aren't initiated Ouija is just a brand name for what is known as a talking board Just like what Coak Kleenex Band-Aid are to soda tissues and adhesive bandages just like it just Yeah, Ouija is the brand name. Yeah. Yeah, it's a talking board Right how the whole thing works is that a person or persons place their fingers on a small Triangular device called a planchette which is either shaped like a heart or a butt depending on what kind of person you are The planchette is sitting on a board that has all the letters of the alphabet the number zero through nine in the words

Yes, no and goodbye printed on it Once everyone is very lightly touching the planchette you ask the board a question and the planchette moves seemingly on its own To yes or no if you ask a yes or no question if the question requires a specific answer Then the planchette spells out the answer letter by letter Now whether the answers come from the nether realms or from one's own subconscious the process in which the answers come is known as Automatism meaning that the answers are not coming from a conscious awareness Or according to Alistair Crowley and the Ouija board It's that thing where it get is either conscious or not and it could be conscious

But it's not but if you're asking the question whether it's conscious or not why are you using a Ouija board that made zero sense It's also if you're around with your friends you're hanging out in a basement Maybe you're at their parent's house or something like that. They're thinking about let's get some food. Mm-hmm You can subconsciously suggest dominoes through the Ouija All of a sudden it's not you know you can't have sponsored content through the First of all, okay. I am on a dominoes kick by the way. I got it. No, it's actually been better than ever before didn't let No, last week we had a bad issue But this week I am doing better with it. You say dominoes kick. I say dominoes like depth

I think that it's bad. I feel like it's a it's like a low point. They changed their recipe something's going on Very good. They started paving the roads. They're the best in New York City Well the skeptics term for Automatism is the idiomotor effect. This happens when strong emotions in a person's subconscious Manifests themselves as communications. In this case, it's by subconsciously moving a pointer to spell out the answers Your brain wants to hear Essentially, this is another one of those super fun and ultimately terrifying tricks your own brain plays on you Manifesting deep desires such as say the desire to kill your son-in-law

Without actually putting the thought at the forefront of your brain You can thank your brain for doing this because it keeps you it's it's plausible deniability For whatever your hands are gonna do well I mean it got Carol Sue off for crying out loud how one person put it is That the Ouija board opens up an area of subconscious of your subconscious That is the same area that keeps you from biting off your own finger even though you can I can you can you I mean you really You could chew your own finger off

But there's something in your brain that stops you from doing that. Yeah Ouija board Accesses that part of your brain. So the conversation of like it's not real Is it real? It is real to the degree in the subconscious if you want to take it like you know Yeah, the supernatural way, but this is what I was saying how seriously do you take your brain, right? How do you believe every single image that your brain puts forward as something that you are? Conjuring up purposefully or is it coming from an ether world that is your subconscious and is your subconscious also? The same as the lower realms with the elementals right okay interesting Yeah, and while we will be getting into the metaphysical later

It is very possible for a person to be so gullible that their own brain can trick them into doing things that they really Shouldn't do such as the previously mentioned murder I mean my own brain tricked her into murdering someone. This would be a great deleted scene in Forrest Gump I Would love to know what Forrest Gump would say to a Ouija board because he's a fascinating character. He is Tell me is Anybody there? I'm trying to do my That was terrible

I mean I mean I mean I mean I mean you had to do it. Oh it's here, like meh Is anybody there? Is anybody there? And then you got Bubba. Bubba Gumps through it. And it's a, it's a shrill bowl real Remember that? Man this is a great segment. I love Bubba. I actually ate a Bubba Gumps recently. Recently? You know, it's fine

Now automatism of the kind that the Ouija uses has actually been around for millennia The earliest known example comes from the year 550 BC when Pathagoras used a table on wheels that when he and his students placed his hand upon it would roll towards certain signs and symbols Painted on the floor. Magic used to be so much bigger. Think about the commercial space that would take he literally used to make a Fucking a Banksy sized workshop where he would go with his big like an AV cart and Use the Ouija board with a bunch of people and in front of a crowd of people. It's very it's very cool Well, it is talking board is such an interesting part of our history and that like because then it also goes to

Would you call the fucking Oracle of Delphi a talking bar to almost all that kind of shit? It's very interesting. Mm-hmm. Well, but as far as modern times go We think the seeds for the Ouija were planted sometime in the 1850s But as J. Edward Cornelius points out the problem with the history of the Ouija board is that it is Infested with Spiritualists who are for the most part not the most trustworthy of people Hmm for those of you who don't know Spiritualism was a movement that began in the 19th century when a whole bunch of people mostly British and Americans

Took advantage of the death obsessed culture around them and claimed to be able to use certain techniques to speak directly to the dead But this shit was like the coolest concert in the world. Yeah, this was such a bit We will eventually again another how many times am I gonna fucking say this is one of those We will do spiritualism and the history of spiritualism on last podcast. Yeah, absolutely fascinating But the it riled up real magicians because they got very very upset because this is a before like now like in the 1980s with chaos magic and all that kind of shit that kind of made magic a part of the cultural consciousness This was them believing they were taking the stuff that they hold personally very dear and the techniques that they used to speak to the Upper levels of experience and they were using it to sell tickets

But now this is like Fox sisters and stuff like that. Yes Um, but you know, I don't know I'm conflicted on it because if it might help people and if it does help people Then I say what's the harm? That's it. I that's a great conversation, which I actually I'm with you I feel like you can offer Something that if it makes people feel good. Is it bad? I mean, I don't know if I was a spiritualist I would just be like, okay, you lost you lost your husband Brent. Okay. I have he's coming through it He's coming through just oh So Brent isn't doing great. I actually I'm really sorry to tell you this. I'm a horrible spiritualist

Well, the problem with it is that spiritualist really like money And they tend to prey on people who don't have a lot of it And some spiritualist will take every last fucking dime that that person has I understand you man If there's a dime left got to get it. Absolutely. Call me now. That's my Cleo That's my miss Cleo We're using everything from table wrapping to table tapping to table turning to using a woman's breast as a stand-in for a dead Baby's head. Well that last one was a little bit different than the other three. I wish that every baby's head was a woman's breast Well spiritualists were a mixed bag of true believers and hucksters who prayed ungrieving people want in a contact dead loved ones

Alistair Crowley summed up his view of spiritualists in one word quote fall What was that fall? He literally just it's this f a u g h that was his favorite word who would fall Fuck or something like in his I'm like fuck these people, but it was also his reaction to condoms It's a Korean dish fall. No, that's a Vietnamese and Vietnamese but Alistair Crowley obviously is the hipster of hipsters about magic especially at the time because he was Over this shit

He had done a lot of work and it was like an order to build up and the kind of shit that he was talking about Drawing the maps of the Anarchy and super universe and then he watches all these people come and make fucking chairs bounce and Things knock and he got incredibly triggered by that. Okay fall Well, while it seems like the vast majority of spiritualists were John Edwards type vampires feeding off the money and grief of those around them some of them were sincere and certain useful occult devices sprung out of that movement if you want to watch a Great go down to the YouTube poll of John Edwards not the politician the scam artist crossing over was the name of the show And it was a huge hit in the 90s. Watch the bloopers. Yeah, watch the John Edwards fails on YouTube. It is hilarious One of the tools that came out of the spiritualist movement was the planchette

Meaning little bored and French There's no consensus as to who invented the damn thing is the only person who ever took credit was a guy who just called himself in Im planchette. Hi, I couldn't help but notice you were enjoying my chips. My name is Roy Doritos Yeah, those are my chips. Yeah, my last name's Doritos. Yeah, absolutely. I know I know I look Polish But I've been credibly nacho cheese Spanish. Oh, I love it The shape of this device was much the same as the one we use today But instead of being used with the board the original planchette had a hole for a pencil and the messages would be written and drawn by the Little device itself. Well, the sister device to the planchette was called the dial plate board

This device was like a roulette wheel with which one would ask questions and be answered with letters numbers Yes, no, don't know or on some boards. Just the word mistake. Yeah I mean how lame would your friends have to be if all of the answers were don't know make a Decision may have your subconscious make a choice No, because it is just like a when you're talking to the elemental that is taking the form of a sullen teenager No, doll plates actually got some commercial success sold under such names as Spirits scope Psychograph and the telegraphic spirit communicate her

Psychograph is the winner for me. Yeah for sure But such plates were expensive and were only available as most magical things were at the time to the very rich Because this shit was also huge and was made out of fucking cast iron. Yeah, these things would last forever Mm-hmm, but in 1890 three men decided to combine the planchette with the dial plate String it all down and bring the occult to the masses with the Ouija board Charging just a dollar fifty a pop, which is still about 40 bucks in today's money. Oh, wow Now while the history is fuzzy on the details We're pretty sure that two men named Elijah J Bond and Charles canard teamed up with a coffin maker named

Ecy like to create the Ouija Should change that name at the last week's episode to when I hear the word right It's like twitch goes through my face. So that is fascinating though a coffin maker helped create the Ouija board Yeah, because he said he was fucking on brand dude I said that as he was developing it He's like so many so many people come to me because he ran a funeral home, right? That it's like and so he's like let's wrap it all up. We can sell it in the fucking lobby Which is this new kale thing that I'm selling because it's a health juice, but it's green like the face of a your aunt

When she's in the grave. Wow. Yeah, Ouija boards at a funeral home big seller Yeah, guarantee you that well Reich had a sincere interest in the occult and thought it was ridiculous and cumbersome to ask a spirit to juggle an entire Table as the spiritualists often made them do so he was concerned that the spirit was working too hard It's a spirit. I think you can handle it. So Reich figured it would be much easier to get the spirits to communicate with something smaller such as the little planchette It's very interesting because a part of it is true is getting out of your own way with the Ouija board Plus with the Ouija board

Nobody had to consult with a medium or a spiritualist or any other dickhead leech and money away because we don't know this for sure But I would imagine that Reich saw quite a few spiritualists lurking around the old coffin shop So we're bars instead of people talking to each other like they used to you know And now everyone's just on Twitter or Instagram not staring at each other Where's everyone just playing a Ouija board by themselves with people you have people over and you do it But a good way to spot a huckster at the coffin shop is the guy who's like laying inside one while it's closed And you hear like Well inside of a coffin you open up. He's like have I got a story for you

But soon after the original Ouija board was put in a production Reich seems to disappear from the story completely It was Bond and canard who took the idea and ran with it and the two founded the canard novelty company and filed a patent in 1891 and they actually to get the patent they had to go to the patent office and Use the Ouija board in front of the patent clerk to prove to him that it worked and the pack is like fuck wow, okay? Yeah, that is absolutely frightening Bond and canard sounds like a law firm that only focuses on people who have publicly defecated Poop in public all bond and canard We're you had a couple after the game

Are you lost in a neighborhood where you don't know where the Starbucks is called Bond and canard? We know for a fact sometimes you got to take a dump behind a Honda No, one of the things that makes the Ouija board so enticing is that it's got a fantastic name But nobody really knows where the name Ouija came from Canard said that it was the board itself who told him its name Claiming that Ouija means good luck in ancient Egyptian. I've heard this it does not it does not absolutely does not But after just a year in production the company switched hands in a hostile takeover and a former factory foreman named William Fould along with his brother Isaac took control and changed the company's name to the Ouija novelty company

With the company name change came an origin name change as well While Fould still claimed that the board named itself what he says it really did was combine the French and German words for yes We and yeah, ooh Ouija, but wouldn't it be we are it would be we are we are yeah, it's not I mean Ouija isn't doesn't make any sense either It's fun. Yeah, it's a funner. It's a funner way to say it because we are Sounds and that's that's hard Missing a tennis swing Okay, so yes and yes. Yes. Yes. That was that some people call it some people do call it a yes-yes board. Yes. Yes board

Mm-hmm, huh? Okay. Yeah after a couple years though William accused Isaac of what Cornelius called quote bookkeeping shenanigans That is bad and of course that's what happens. That's what the kid in the movie happiness That's what he called what he was doing to the books Keeping shenanigans one of the most disturbing movies of all time So Isaac got forced out of the company and William Fould renamed the company yet again as the Baltimore talking board company Oh, no, that's not fun. No, but a part of this was trying to make it legit, right? This is the part of the Ouija board that is boring or they have to figure out how to market this motherfucker

They have to go out and sell it to people because a part of it is trying to downplay the fact that you just might open a portal to the fucking netherworlds if you use it maybe. And this takeover resulted in a court battle Which brought plenty of clever questions from journalistic wags and when one of them asked why the men didn't just ask the board who owned the company Oh, come on now. Why don't you just ask the board why who actually owns the company. Get over here so I can give you a wedgie Oh, this is how fold responded quote now. I'm not a spare test. I'm a presbyterian Love the idea of getting out of questions by just saying I'm not a whatever Okay Mr. Fold said that the only time he actually consulted the board about anything was when he asked it

If he should build a new Ouija board factory. Oh, and it boards it. Yeah. Well, so yes, yes board And this turned out to be a good move because the Ouija only got more popular despite being beset by quite a few imitators But the Ouija was not without its controversy in 1912 Ella Crawford a lonely widowed mother Turned to spiritualism to fill the hole left in her life after her husband passed away Eventually, she was given a Ouija board and the obsession began Ella Consulted the Ouija for every single decision in her life And she began to believe that whatever the Ouija said she had to do that's not a good place to be

And you should never feel that about anybody. Nobody owns your emotion. No, definitely not give her a cat That's what you need to do widows love cats little dogs Maybe but cats for sure, but she was looking for a boss. So eventually she would eventually hear the cat be like Hey, why don't you try to eat your own pussy Whiskers No, I mean that's fine. You can talk to the cat. Yeah, cats are a boss for sure if they talk back Yeah, I mean then you fall into some territory there Well pretty soon the Ouija was telling Ella that she and her daughter were soon going to be thrust into poverty

That it would be better for them to die rather than face it. Hmm. Yep. So Ella made a decision She walked into the bathroom as her nine-year-old daughter was in the tub and held her daughter's head Underwater until she drowned Then Ella pulled the body out of the water and dressed the girl in her funerary clothes You know all the Ouija boards frantically going back and forth being like this is a bummer. Actually, maybe I was wrong This is kind of fucked up. Like what are you doing? Stop dressing that dead body So the Ouija board gave her economic advice told her the economy was gonna crash Basically, maybe this was the spirit of Jim Kramer

Mad money before he came into the world. Perhaps he was down in hell telling people sell sell buy buy Economy's gonna crash Well after she dressed her daughter she turned on herself Picking up a hatchet and attempting to sink the blade into her own skull We talked about this on sidesteer on last stream this week, of course last stream You can watch it on adultswim.com slash streams every Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time This is Steve Martin's joke Literally just did Steve Martin's bit with the era with an axe in real life. Yeah, but she survived

Oh, and was found not guilty by reason of insanity. What? Despite this story though, or perhaps partly because of it the Ouija board still thrived Think about Dungeons and Dragons and had the the fact that people said that you'd go insane Playing this game and that eventually made it a huge craze across the country It seems like they really took that literally that you could get off for reasons of insanity. Yeah, yeah Which is a strange compromise because then everyone is just crazy. Well, I mean it's the whole thing is if you can't tell the Difference between right and wrong when you do your crime then you can get not guilty by reason of insanity Okay, it's just not that common anymore. It's very uncommon. Yeah, it was a lot more common back in the day

You just have to be real crazy now like you have to have it and I have a documented series You have to be Richard Chase and even then he didn't get it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so by 1920 William Fould had made three million dollars on the Ouija board the equivalent of 37 million in today's money He did this partly by expanding the brand past the board to other merch like jewelry And he even had a Ouija oil for when your rheumatism was acting up Fucking that's smart man. Yeah smart. Yeah, I just don't know what the hell the Ouija oil is And I don't really want to ask him, but what made the most money was when sales spiked during and after World War one as people were using the boards to try to get in touch with deceased

Soldiers, oh my god, and this started a trend that continues to this day because anytime there's bad times Ouija board sales spike Really makes people feel good. It's kind of like your horoscope. It's certain things Astrology makes people feel good. I know for one it helps me with my anxiety for some reason or another I don't know I read it because you begin to feel like maybe something's out of my control And that allows me to take more control of my own life No, I just have a question just like Dick Cheney Does he have any stake in the Ouija board?

That would make more sense to go into a rock than fake weapons of destruction I would actually be like, okay, you got to make that cash on the Ouija. You got you need your kickback Well, Ouija made so much money that the IRS got involved, but it all came crashing down in 1927 when William Fould was on the roof of the BTBC headquarters trying to repair a flagpole himself Goddamn it. Oh, wow. That's when men for men. That's how Americans do it. We'll outsource it to somebody knows what you're doing There it is. You got to repair that flagpole. He felt three stories to the ground What happened? Support gave way. Yeah, but he wasn't killed by the fall and in fact, he only suffered three broken ribs Wow on the way to the hospital one of those broken ribs pierced his heart and he died later on that day

But the company continued to do well even without Fould and was sold to Parker Brothers in 1996 which was acquired by General Mills in 1968 which merged with Kenner in 1985 which was acquired by Tonka in 1987 which was bought by Hasbro in 1991 where the Ouija is still owned today All of those words made so many commercials for my childhood Advertising was so effective as our in our childhood each one of those just like pointed a commercial deep into my brain Oh my god I mean I remember the GI Joe commercials I forget the name of the character that you could shoot you got that little get that little missile in its shot

Oh, there are a lot of them. A lot of them did that in the in the commercial they exploded, but then in real life It was just sort of like a Yeah, they just got lost Yeah, the the missiles would get lost and then my father would step on them hung over and I would hear from the other room He's like god dammit These missiles are everywhere I can see how upsetting that would be just constant projectiles all over the floor Well, not to mention the Vietnam flashback that it's on my foot with him relaxing on a lawn chair on top of a submarine

watching Cuban waters That's right. I forgot your dad was like living like macaels navy during He had an incredible Vietnam But truly the heyday of the Ouija board was the 20s People were so obsessed with it that the Baltimore Sun had to hire a full-time editor Whose only job was to answer Ouija related questions sent to the paper There's a Ouija beat. I do love that. This guy's just like guaranteed job security for life in no way will this ever not go out of vogue

But when you've got an obsession this strong with something that's as open-ended and mysterious as the Ouija board It's bound to cause trouble as Ella Crawford was by no means the only Ouija board murderer About a decade after Ella May Murdoch of Biggs, California became just as obsessed as her Precursor had become as far as letting the board control her life But May's concern was with her husband who was still in the land of the living Despite a long and happy marriage free from even arguments much less infidelity May asked the board if her husband was stepping out and in a definite case of the subconscious work and the board said yes Because you're too old. This is literally the equivalent of when you wake up

And your significant other has had a dream about you cheating And they are mad at you and you spend your whole day just like Like you know like making breakfast like good morning, honey. How you doing? I'm fine And you walk in the other room you're like What's going on over there? Huh must must be nothing because we have a perfect marriage Back to make a breakfast meanwhile. She's just fucking loading a shotgun on the other room. You know Clay Well, I understand man. You're in Biggs, California. You know the temptations are everywhere Well may consulted the board more and more and the messages escalated

And eventually it came to a head when the board told her that her husband planned to kill her with an axe And bury her body so instead of just waiting around for her husband to murder her like the spirit said they would May took a gun and shot her husband three times what you meant to say was took initiative And did something before something was done to her and he died three days later Ah In court may held her bible close to her chest as she blamed all her troubles on the Ouija board But the jury didn't buy it this time Although they still only sentenced her to 10 years in prison

But right around the time that may was getting out of prison another Ouija related murder occurred not too far away Ernest Turley no No No, I was in a band with the Turley with the Turley with the Turley. Yeah now. Do they have super long necks or no necks? See Turley. I think it's just a fun a fun way to call your toilet And we'll hit the Turley. There's Turleys out there. I know I know a Turley. All right, reach out if you're a Turley Ernest Turley and his wife Dorothea Turley moved to a ranch in globe, Arizona in 1931 with their children Maddie and David soon after arriving though Dorothea

Who'd always had a thing for cowboys? Fell in love with a young buck the next ranch over At a loss what to do about it. She and her 15 year old daughter Maddie sat down with the Ouija board Oh god Just go to a marriage counselor. This is not what you do I mean, I understand the cowboys are a very attractive figure. You get your hatches strong working on the fields callus hands Yeah, that tony romo man. Well, no not tony romo Yep, well according to the daughter

They asked the board to decide between her father and her mother's new cowboy friend Next thing they knew the quote-unquote board Gave a very specific answer Daddy must die Daddy didn't even know daddy didn't know what was gonna happen to him. I mean well When daddy must die comes through do you think both of them are like yes? Oh, no, I think the mother's like oh, no Dorothea I I can wear a hat I can buy spurs. Do you want me to have more boots?

What do you need for me honey? I the doctor said I'm allergic to horses It's not my fault. I just was born in in the city in fire Well taking it back they asked about the law, but the board said that everything's gonna be all right And they'd get $5,000 in insurance money and the ranch to boot so you should probably do it Sounds like the weegee board's been doing cocaine staying up to four o'clock in the morning just level of confidence Yeah, yeah, yeah Yes, this is an idea formed in a las vegas hotel after you just lost all of your money playing slots And of course when they asked who was gonna do it the board chose the daughter. Oh interesting

Oh And the board Also made her promise that she was going to take care of it. Also mother could have her cowboy Just so mom could get fucking plowed. Also. Do we know if this cowboy had any interest in dorothea? Actually, it sounds like he didn't it sounds like he had no clue what was going on He's just fucking having a good day. He is literally just being like Whip he's not even thinking about the sex. They just This sounds like an extension of those old diet coke commercials when all the women rushed to the window to watch the construction worker

Take off his shirt Yeah, but then if those women went home and played the weegee board and then murdered their families to fuck him And he's like, I didn't even know that you existed. Why are you doing this? He's like, whoa, lady. Whoa I mean like I get it. I'm fucking chaseless as fuck dude, but that's just a commercial And i'm antonio sabato jr. Man I wish I could fuck you all but i'm gay Lucky guy So on her brother's birthday

Maddie Turley took a shotgun and shot her father right between the shoulder blades Claiming that she tripped and accidentally fired the gun a few days later. Ernest Turley died But the cops weren't buying it when they examined the wounds They found that the wounds could have only come from a gun fired at shoulder level Meaning they knew someone pointed the gun and pulled the trigger. Yeah tripped and shot her father is not a really great defense Yeah, so you can't just pull the mr. Bean defense right at any point So they pressed Maddie and she confessed that the board had put her up to the whole thing Hmm, so for their crimes Maddie was sentenced to six years in an arizona convent

But only served three as those sorts of things used to be done here in america. Her punishment was just being a nun for three years She just had to be a nun for three years No, you should just be able to do that She used to get to just go up and learn the fine arts of cunnilingi up on a mountain for a couple of years Well, dorothea turley she was sentenced to prison 10 to life But got out after only two years Okay, now the most bizarre case of the weegee crimes of this time period though is the 1935 wisconsin case of nelly and hubert heard

Again just like with may murdoch nelly became convinced that her 77 year old husband Was cheating on her with the neighbor next door. I mean honestly hubert's a hot name Guy was probably pretty buff hubert heard. Oh, yeah hubert heard the fucking heartthrob of the neighborhood hubert heard Sounds like a president. Yeah. I like hubert heard every woman wants to just grind it out on a hubert. Oh, yeah Well, the board not only confirmed these suspicions But also told nelly that hubert had buried 15 thousand dollars somewhere on their property And nelly fully believed that the spirits never ever lied So nelly, I mean she did do diligence at first

She hired a private detective to follow around her husband a wisconsin private detective Yeah, we all went check that out there and we went and looked see what he's doing there And mostly he kind of shuffles from the living room to the backyard So, uh, we're all seeing he's innocent. Yeah So it's like there's no way in hell this guy's stepping out But nelly went back to the board and said hey the private detectives to these fine The spirits were not satisfied. Oh, they decided that the elderly hubert Needed to be punished. Hmm. So with the help of bertha

Nelly's daughter from her first marriage. I mean honestly bertha is just such a lazy name to give someone Yeah, what's like the You are uh, you are very definitely born a bertha. Yeah, that is a Uh, you have to be a 12 pounder. You have to come out fists first out of the vagina Like you come out punch in the world looks like we got a bertha boys got a bertha So with the help of bertha nelly pistol whipped hubert into unconsciousness Chained him to a bed and tortured him for weeks on end in his own basement Well, did the Ouija board request that she tortured this man? Yes. Fuck. Yes. It literally transcribed the entire cia

Investigation manual to her and they wrote it down letter by letter. They starved him They beat him with a wire whip and a knotted rope. They burned his feet with a hot poker And they pricked him with a dagger leave him alone. And when he got too loud What did I do? What did I do? And when he got too loud they pistol whipped him again until he passed out. Oh my goodness Now finally he signed a confession saying that he'd slept with the woman next door and was planning on giving her the $15,000 too, but still they held him captive. I know where Osama bin Laden is

I know where he is. He's in the basement of the alamo So they signed a confession like it was the Salem witch trials Yeah, I guess in this case the Salem dick trials because they thought he was being a dick Kissel wait a second. Are you writing for Samantha B right now? Oh, no. No, they don't hire They won't hire me Uh Hubert did escape but was soon pistol whipped and restrained again before he could get out of the house Oh my god But on Hubert's second escape

Nelly wouldn't be so lucky to make damn sure he got away this time Hubert grabbed Nelly's own gun And killed her with three shots gotta do it and actually it seems like Hubert didn't even get Charged with the murder much less acquitted. What does Hubert do with the rest of his life? See that is a good question. Can you imagine that? You're 77 years old Your wife of how many years you've just been without I mean whatever it may not be the most passionate Like young in the restless marriage, but yeah, you know, it was a nice marriage And then you just get pistol whipped for fucking three weeks or whatever. Holy shit. That's crazy

Well, do we know where in Wisconsin this was don't know okay Now one case that did result in quite a few convictions occurred in Florida in 1987 When four supposed devil worshipers named Elizabeth Town 18 Anthony Hall 25 Daniel Bowen 24 and Bunny Dixon uh-oh the leader at 16 all these people murdered a Vietnamese immigrant named knock Von Deng They claimed that a dead 10 year old boy named David had communicated to bunny through a Ouija board And it told them all take a road trip And when they said they didn't have any money David said just kill a guy and take his money. Oh, of course. So they said

Okay, what was that theory back in the day everyone was just like if you kill someone They're guaranteed to have thousands of dollars in their pockets No one has money. No, it was because of it was because of the movies throw mama from the train And it was from the movie. Um, what was it ruthless people? Oh, yes ruthless people bet middler great movie Mm-hmm. So the quartet started hitchhiking and were soon picked up by Deng And soon they had him bound gagged and stuffed in the trunk of his own car On its way to a secluded spot north of Daytona beach There they tortured him and carved an inverted cross on his chest with a butterfly knife until anthony hall shot him seven times

Killing him Damn, I do not like that. Isn't anthony hall the name of the dude from the breakfast club anthony michael hall Uh, that's why he had to put the michael in there. I see yes, you want to differentiate mix of an actor or not a murderer But we actually don't know if anthony michael hall has murdered anybody And if I know anything about anybody who lives in the if I know anything about anybody who lives in the hills Of california here in the hollywood hills. Um, he probably is guilty of several crimes. No, no, he would never do anything wrong He's a great guy Now hall tried begging off the whole thing by saying in court mind you that he'd been under a spell that bunny

Dixon had placed on him during a satanic ritual and that's why he killed dang In the end, though The verdicts came back as 17 years for town 50 years for bunny dixon life for bowen and death For anthony hall. Whoa, dude. That's kind of a fun. That's the entire uno deck Of ways to fuck up with somebody's life. Yeah But now we have been covering the weegee board up until now We've been covering the weegee board in not it's it's not a surface level but a part of it is just this idea

That it was a way to speak to Ghosts or have some kind of spiritual guide and people being obsessed with it But if you go deeper into the world of the weegee board, you can kind of see magically There is an explanation for all of this shit and why What you put out there is what you get back So essentially you are looking for the weegee board to tell you to do things and maybe just so happens to be You're sending a fishing lane out to an intelligence on the other side that then will Exactly mirror whatever it is that you want to see. I mean, maybe the weegee board can give positive

Positive advice though. I'm sure someone is taking it right now using it right now and it just spells out Do stand-up comedy? Oh, and then that person becomes the world's stand-up comedian And then everyone laughs at their jokes Well, the prevailing opinion among occultists is that the weegee board is neither a good nor evil object It's only a gateway and whatever comes through is your business See one of the main principles of magic is like reflex like or as krally put it quote The world of magic is a mirror

Where in who sees muck is muck Interesting. I have a feeling that mirrors on the ceiling in the case of allister crowd when it comes to allister crowd Yeah, buddy, you like to see all angles of his studies And there certainly are some who believe that the entirety of the weegee is muck absolutely sure now many modern occultists Poo poo the weegee board as a children's toy I'd probably laugh you right out of the door your local oto chapter if you so much Did you even thought of bringing a weegee board to the saturday ritual? Oh my goodness, but I do want to remind everybody to Please bring the compasses

And if anybody has some extra graph paper and if anybody has some dice, that's for yachtsie Oh, that's fun. I mean, you know do be fair if you're traveling around with a weegee board everywhere you go It's kind of funny. Yeah But some believe that the weegee is actually an extremely powerful Magical tool that just happens to be sold in toy stores like think of it like a computer Like your mother uses the computer to play solitaire and check facebook But when you sit down at the exact same computer You can hack into electrical grids and shut down power plants. Yeah, you're watching a donkey have sex with the senator's doctor

It's the exact same object Just used for two different things different things And allister crawly felt much the same way and honestly if all this shit is actually real I'm on board with jay over cornelius when he says that if anyone had a grasp on it It's allister crawly. Hmm. Honestly, he did the work He did whatever you want to say about him and in terms of the right hand path magic and the idea of deeply Investigating your own mind like because the more I read about it. This is where you and I Marcus are explaining how

There'd be a lot more to this episode if other people found the deep anarchy and workings of the universe to be fascinating Yes, and didn't want to just drive their car into oncoming traffic Like that one woman did because because of our ramblings about it But allister crawly he had a very interesting grab grasp on the weegee board And it it seems like it's not a thing to fuck around with no allister crawly had a grasp on a lot of things That's for sure, and I think you were refer what the great documentary. What's wrong with aunt something Karen something like that that documentary Richard Richard. There's something there's something wrong with aunt Richard That documentary is sad

A crawly wrote extensively about the uses of the weegee board and in fact almost put a version of his own into production in 1919 but he never followed through and the design is lost to history We don't know what crawly's weegee board looked like I guaranteed it looks like a big ol cock It's on brand One thing we know about the weegee when it comes to just using it in general never mind the occult is that in the wrong hands A weegee board can be a very dangerous object Crowley even believed that it could be fatal to one's own soul Yeah, dude

He believed that the weegee board was an instant portal into the lower astral plane And that by using the weegee board one could summon communicate with and eventually control Inocent angels and lower elementals Now we're not going to get into inocent magic as I honestly don't understand it very well And even if I did I doubt I'd be able to explain it in a way that was even a little bit interesting to our listeners Henry, maybe you could take a shot. Oh god It's just if you look into the center of your mind and you want to believe the images that pop up Areal that is what inocent magic is and I am one of those the more and more I read about it

The more and more I believe that uh the way out is in and I don't again We are just Fucking novices at this huge The more and more I realize about the more and more I realize how little I know it comes from the more I read Every single time I read another thing about inocent magic the less I understand But the inocent magic is the idea that there is an entire Byzantine organization of the way the universe works connected to the Kabbalah To hierarchies of angels and all this shit that essentially if you want to properly use the Ouija board you have to like

Step by step. It's like it's like settlers a katan or something Well, you have to like step by step set up like your your crew like you got to get the four watch towers all Occupied by elementals that you have secured and fed and know how to answer their specific But it's very very specific And it's very very intense. I think we're losing some Yeah, so inocent angels obviously No, I know you set that up and I was like well, I'll log in then I just set my timer In spiritual talk every minute is actually 10 minutes

Yes, it's like dog use Obviously inocent angels are extremely complicated concepts But a concept in Crowley and Ouija magic that's a little easier to digest And I think something that a lot of our listeners would actually be interested in is the summoning of what is known as elementals Don't Do it. I'm just gonna say right now. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it But if you're gonna do it, there are books that you gotta read first voices from the void by by hester travers smith You have to read even though she doesn't really talk about the dangers of it

She talks about using it But you gotta read Alice Crowley's writings on Ouija boards before you try to do this shit because I don't know if it's real or not But if it is real, it is very easily a way to fuck up your life. I'm gonna say point counterpoint. Go ahead and do it You know, just get to go have a little fun with it. We don't need gozer I feel like this is what we're asking for You know, could be a good time Well, elementals are actually creatures that are familiar to all of us because they usually manifest themselves Like elementals, elves, gnomes, demons, gents, fairies, heledeeferk, heledeeferk, heledeeferk, cool

Countless other creatures of folklore. The grays. Yeah, but the grays put ton elementals manifest themselves as in a ton of different ways But these beings actually have no real form or shape of their own when they're in the spirit world So they have to use something to communicate And that is where the shells of the dead come into play Oh See when people use the weegee board about 30 percent of them use it to try to talk directly to the dead Or at least that's according to a 1970 poll done for the book weegee the most dangerous game. That's a recent poll

That's all good plus minus three percent. It's it's scientific. It's it's a great poll from 1970 But while Crowley believed that there were certainly spirit energy beings floating around and were Contactable through the weegee board. He did not think that they were the actual souls of the deceased Crowley's view on ghosts is very interesting very interesting in his belief that was probably quote-unquote Borrowed from an eastern religion Isn't that it like what that instant like what like what fuck Jerry does on instagram? Borrow just borrow. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very current reference. Thank you. Thank you so much Well, Crowley believed that when someone dies the soul is reincarnated moves on

But something is left behind the astral remains what Crowley called the worthless odds and ends Well, what the way you describe it to me is that in this low We call we are currently our reality is a lower realm, right? And the in within the lower realm A soul's duty is to acquire knowledge and that is everything that what your personality is As that when you pass and you go into the abyss your soul takes whatever is useful to the reincarnation cycle From your realm of knowledge and moves deeper into the abyss like sliding into a butthole But what's left is your knowledge is this shell of everything of who you are

But essentially it is as real as your image in the mirror Where if you look in the mirror that thing is that the image you see is not you but it is you Mm-hmm. Well, uh, you know, what do I gotta do to get to that mortal combat realm? I would love to do uh, who would I like to meet the most? Sub-zero sounds kind of fun, but then not really you want to hang you want to hang out with Johnny cage. Well Johnny cage I mean, but he's he's gonna be the Johnny cage is just like Sub-zero isn't an elitist. No, he's humble

Johnny cage is like I just think that entourage is one of the funniest dramas and comedies of all time It would be annoying to hang out with Sub-zero all day me. I want to get pizza with ihonda That's a great one Except we're gonna have to be Hawaiian pizza I love Hawaiian pizza. Really? Yeah. Wow. I love this stuff strange. Give me more. You're literally people just shut off the punch It's very controversial. Yeah, people need to not take themselves so serious. No, I know that Well This shell is described as a record of events it's like a movie or an image that's being played over and over again

It's closer to say like a residual haunting where you see like the same woman in a yellow dress Walking up and down a particular staircase every night and these shells are hollow and without consciousness And as such according to Crowley shells in the spirit realm can be picked up and worn by an elemental Giving them the ability to take the form of anyone from your dead grandmother to Johnny cash Anyone who's dead, huh? But if you can and do actually talk to this being then by definition It's not your grandmother Because spirits don't just hang around between worlds waiting for someone to talk to them. They move on

Honestly, that's a great line in a horror movie. That's not grandma That's not grandma I love now do the spirits Uh, just a layman over here, you know, do the spirits choose Which body they get to go into or is it more just like next man up like a dmb be like the spirit now You've been summoned you gotta go because I mean it would be cool to come back as Johnny cash If you have the planchette, you are always in control. It seems to be Basically, the more and more you read about elementals is that they do whatever it is that you want to do

They do you want to do which also includes unconscious Swants and desires, which is why it can be dangerous if you're not very Specific about what you want and who you're calling and who you evoke rather than invoke because that's the other whole Whole chapter about the difference to an invoking and evoking which is very interesting where you have to like You have to make sure you evoke it and hold it within the planchette because if not it just ends up in your whole fucking house But they they do whatever it is you tell them to do But you can unconsciously tell them that you want to kill your husband because you think he's cheating on you Well, these are about elementals the elementals are tricksters and liars

But that doesn't necessarily make them evil. It just makes them extremely dangerous That's why Okay, we're giving extremely broad strokes here Extremely broad strokes and no one listening should try summoning elementals It bears repeating again No one should try summoning elementals without reading Alistair Carly in the Ouija plus a whole bunch of other carly stuff And even then we would not recommend it books are for nerds do it Read the original sources always if you can read the key is Solomon

Realist and they're very very it's like if you are not willing to do all of that before trying to do these rituals Because in the end when it comes down to it's like, you know real or not. I don't think it even matters It's just more about you would be surprised how powerfully human mind is and what you convince yourself as a real and all of a sudden You and your daughter are fucking pistol whipping daddy Fucking church in the basement. You know the shit like that can happen Or you finally go to medical school and you become a doctor that saves lives It could also happen could also happen There have been plenty of people over the last century to contact positive spirits with the Ouija board

One woman said she contacted a being called Seth and she built a whole new age philosophy around it Didn't even charge for a seminar. Really? Yeah. Wow Others like hester traver smith have actually used the Ouija board to launch literary careers She claimed to have contacted the spirit of oscar wild for her book Conversations with oscar wild although this contact is definitely suspect because She claims that the spirit of oscar said that he was never a homosexual And in fact adored women because that's why I would say straight men always say they adore women Absolutely

But sometimes if you do believe in this stuff Something very different comes through Crowley likened it to opening the door of your home and inviting every stranger who walks past to come inside And then just leaving them to roam around your house doing whatever it is that they're gonna do When crowley knows for a fact if you want to invite a stranger in your home You invite them in and then they have to insert their penis inside of your butthole and then you can lead them from room to room Yeah, and crowley also had a lot to say about a demon that might run that you might run into out there named Uh, Taran Karan's on aka the lord of chaos and dispersion who lives in the vast astral desert between the pylons of doth and abyss

Who is capable of taking your soul? No one ever came like alice or crowley You come and see this shit No one's ever done that before but I will one of the funnest things in that book was talking about a really good way to dispel a demon Is that if you have a bat it was not a demon Which like if you have a naughty elemental an uncontrolled elemental in your house It's like one thing that elementals fear is a uh Scythe if you actually have a big farmer scythe and then you call upon

Koran's on to say that they will dispel the karma of that elemental it will destroy it But it is very difficult to get a scythe. I don't know if you can get it over amazon or not I'm not sure. I think you got to be a farmer. I think you can I could get a scythe Oh, yeah, you can google it and you can find it and you can get it delivered I don't know if they're even legal in new york city though. I can buy one for $80 off of etsy and that'll kill an Elemental or scare an elemental out of your house It wouldn't be kind of fun to talk to that. What was the name of that one? Taran's on Koran's on Koran's on I mean that's like so like what brings you to town and then he just tells you all that stuff

That's pretty fun. Well, Koran's on could take your soul as well If you're not careful and take it to what was called. Uh, I think carly called it. Koran's on storehouse I don't know what Koran's on storehouse is but it doesn't sound good. No, no I don't know what this shit is. Like this is the kind of stuff where it's like once you're in this wiggity world You better know what the fuck it is you're talking about because it just becomes a real every single time you say it Yeah, the point is if you're gonna use the Ouija board and you do actually believe in this stuff even a little bit Do the work because otherwise you could wind up like one of the people in these stories We're about to tell

So although the case itself is suspect it said that the story on which William Peter Blatty based his novel The Exorcist on Involved a young boy not a girl who messed around with the Ouija board given to him by his spiritualist aunt right before she died But instead of reaching her the young boy according to legend Reach something else entirely Now it could be that the grief of his aunt's death plus the overactive imagination of a teenager could be to blame here but other people have reported similar phenomena of playing with the Ouija board and getting Now some sort of being okay as told in Ouija gone wild a 16 year old girl in oil city, Pennsylvania I love oil city, Pennsylvania

Back in 1988 received a Ouija board as a Christmas gift from her mother She soon got in contact with a being that called itself Pharma pharma told the girl that it was there for her soul And on the next night the girl was found growling and screaming in bed And when the mother came into the room the girl shouted quote Forget it, bitch. You ain't gonna win I love that she works for sanitation It's a young girl, but uh, you know, she is she's big into the sanitation union and uh, don't cross them

Don't kill you but that's how you know. It's a real exorcism. It's got to sound like me kind of hung over right? So a priest was brought in they went through the whole rigamarole and it's assumed that it all worked out And these sorts of things still happen as recently as 2009 entire schools in Colombia Were stricken with rashes of teenage girl Ouija possessions Really now some say that the reason why young teenagers are so susceptible to possession Is that they're not quite adults which makes them closer to the spirit realm Unlike us earthbound oldsters and they have the added bonus of pubescent energy. Oh They're right with it. Yeah, that's this reminds me of the craft. Yeah, still one of my favorite movies others though

Say that teenagers are just impressionable Emotionally high strong and usually tend to act in ways that they think are expected of them Especially when your entire school is suddenly beset by possessions as was the case in Colombia No, no teenage boys teenage girls. They're the there's a perfect picture of rationality Of course like all of us work But there are some who think that when you're playing with the Ouija board nine times out of ten You're gonna get a demon Here's your side

You're might be a demon The most famous of these fundamentalists are without a doubt Ed and Lorraine Warren Yeah, they made a lot of funny pieces of shit and then to say it one more time The Warrens are not the dashing heroic Selfless couple portrayed in the Conjuring movies even though the Conjuring movies are awesome They do not look like Patrick Wilson and Vera fermiglia. They do not look like that No, they look like me No, but the Conjuring as you said, yeah great series great series fantastic series

But that's not who the Warrens are right at all The real Warrens are fear mongers and frauds often fudging facts to fluctuate their involvement in paranormal cases Sometimes going so far as to invent entire narratives just to make people believe in their worldview Just like that bigfoot believer who got caught with a cooler full of deer cut deer guts saying that it was bigfoot guts Just to make his case. He's just trying. Yeah, I would say they were they're like the Kato Kalan of the spiritual world What do you mean? Kato never did nothing wrong to nobody. He never did nothing to anything. He just keeps showing up He just keeps showing up and inserting himself in various scenarios Which mean like it's Kato Kalan. Kato Kalan. Is he a baseball player? No, he's just hanging out with a bunch of them

Oh, Kato Kalan. Is he a comedian? No, he's just at the comedy store, but he's outside of it. Do you see selling autographs? What is he doing? What does he do actually? I really don't know. I wouldn't be surprised I don't know the name of the masked dancer or singer or whatever I wouldn't be surprised if Kato's one of them which would be a great surprise as soon as like some teletubby takes off their head And it's Kato Kalan. You're just like Kato Kalan, huh? No kidding The Warrens spent their lives railing against Ouija boards telling anyone who would listen that all Ouija's Should be buried two feet under the earth and sprinkled with holy water claiming that four out of every ten cases that they investigated

Started with a Ouija People like them are responsible for a lot of the myths surrounding the Ouija board Like how if you don't break it into seven pieces bury it in a deep hole and say a prayer then sprinkle it with a little Holy water if you're trying to get rid of it Yeah Spirits you've summoned will come back to haunt you. You know what we did we burnt ours It's the worst thing you could possibly do. The Ouija board at my friend Aaron's house because it kept on changing the cd Flipper I don't think someone had the remote or the remotes

We could see them on the table and the flipper was just going and we burnt it It's the worst thing you could do because some say that if you burn a Ouija board The Ouija board might scream Well, and anyone who hears the Ouija scream will die within three days Well, all of us are around. I mean But there are quite a few people out there who agree with the Warrens when they say that something Diabolical lives on the other side of the board But for some there is a singular diabolical being that haunts the Ouija and that being's name

is Zozo the dancing clown. Zozo is not I'm just gonna say not a scary No, it is I like it because it is because it's cute. It does sort of sound scarier It's like the idea of like what I always liked about Annabelle the doll and all that kind of shit in the conjuring Where it's not some creepy looking doll. It's just like fucking raggedy and doll There's some of it looking simpler that's scarier to me Well thousands of people across the world claim that they've come into contact with Zozo while using the Ouija board When one contacts Zozo it said that whatever it is will repeat its name over and over again

Rapidly moving between the z and the o on the board. Zozo, Zozo, Zozo, Zozo, Zozo And you'll also notice it's Zozo when it spells out got your nose Really bizarre Interesting very strange. Yeah, or Zozo will take a different z name Uh, what one researcher called Zentities. Oh, it's pretty cool. Yeah, those things is cool. Yeah, that's those include Zaza uh, Zozo Zaz

Zazz Zohar And many others Zorro And it's all just fun like it just reminds me of what's her name Zha Zha Gabor Absolutely fabulous. She's just I don't need talent. I have a presence She created a fancy old lady. She created a what it means to be uh, what do you call that famous for being famous famous for being famous Useless a socialite not useless. No, Zha Zha was very funny. She was very funny

Well, it's actually said that if you come across pretty much any two-syllable z name on the Ouija It's a good idea to say goodbye and stop immediately if you come across Zha Zha Gabor Say goodbye. It starts with a G. No, it starts with the Z. Does it Zha Zha Zha. That was G Yeah, and it is very important to say goodbye because if you don't then you might have an elemental roaming around your house Feeding on your life energy unless of course you leave some cum-covered fruit Or something like that out for it to eat, but that's a whole other crowded thing. This is what I'm talking about Do the fucking reading because a part of the reading has this whole breakdown of how you need to feed your elemental You're if you're going to be working with an elemental consciously you're bringing it into your house

But a part of it is that if you don't feed it other food it will feed on you and your family and all this kind of Shit that's like that's why mediums feel drained after working on the board So he recommends and this is true You leave a fucking table that no one can touch that's got a cup of sperm on it So that the elemental can eat it like you can put Fucking fruit and shit on it, but they won't come in there. I don't so So it wants like an edible arrangement and what's sexual energy? Well, it's sexual. It just wants energy It wants life energy. So yeah cum works great fruit works great

Uh, and then it will uh, I mean to the skeptic it may seem that the food is just decaying Yeah, but there's a subtle difference here is that if an elemental is draining draining the life energy from the food Then it will start to look like turds Oh, that's great. That's what you want on a table That's perfect So in demonology Zozo only appears once in the 19th century infernal dictionary as a minor demon who along with demons caperule and memey possessed a young girl in cost havoc in

1816 and of course by causing havoc the young girl demanded her right to vote And then they're like this must be a demon. What's going on here? You're crazy. You're crazy No, very well could be that the name zozo is just a popular subconscious permutation of Puzuzu Was the demon who got us 15 minutes is the demon that possessed reagan in the exorcist Uh, and the reason why I think it might be like a Subversion is because the weegee zozo only started showing up in the 80s and 90s I was almost a hundred years after the invention of the board, but right around the time that the exorcist started getting made available on

VHS interesting Yeah, but for the people who believe zozo to be very real and they do exist all over the world Yes, zozo will promise to grant special powers and then once he is accepted the entity will wreak havoc upon their life Do they have a name for themselves like zozo heads? I mean if you're talking to zozo, you're not Okay, it is something else. It wants you to think that it's zozo. You're talking to elemental It is just doing this. It is again a great character by chris katan But it is not a real entity say goodbye

Yeah, and some people have even claimed to receive these special powers One girl said zozo appears to her as a dog with red eyes who guards her property She said that zozo came through the weegee and told her that she was among the chosen 2012 Although she had to admit even she didn't know what the hell chosen 2012 was but she's a part of it And she's got a red dog that guards her house. Hey, all right. If it works. It works. Who needs a moat? Yeah others though say that zozo appears as a locust with bulging muscles wings and scales Cool. Yeah, while others say that he's more like a snake Well, okay, he can shape shift into anything that he desires. Okay. I want him to be a hot dog

Hot dog would be fun. I want him to be a little calmer It's the fucking it's the former of the traveler like in ghostbusters. Yeah, okay cool So you can be a little cute dog. You can be a different kind of dog Now some think that the reason why people react so strongly to the weegee is that whether it's real or not the weegee opens up doors to the subconscious and some people just can't handle what they find inside I wonder if it's got something to do with literally just sitting in silence in a weird consecrated area that actually It inspires something inside of people and these these magical moments because a part of one of the rules of

Working with the weegee a part of it is that you have to see take it seriously and think it's really gonna work So part of it's you're putting yourself in this headspace already and then I wonder if that just generally fucks with people Who don't necessarily pause and take a spiritual moment in their day? It could it could it's like an advent calendar for your mind. How so because you open it Like an advent calendar. You ever heard of an advent calendar? You open it up for the days at christmas. Oh, yeah We were smoring it one's got a Santa Claus shoe or something And we've known that the subconscious has a lot to do with the weegee for a while now

Back in 1920 when the board was really on the upswing harry houdini himself Explored the weegee board phenomenon while investigating Spiritualism in general and ended up finding that the people with the most interesting things to say were the psychiatrists Houdini quoted the medical director of the state asylum of new jersey who said that the weegee board quote Is especially serious because it's adopted mainly by persons of high strong neurotic tendency Who become victims of actual illusions? I don't know if that I don't think it was jersey sure jersey No, no, no, no, no, no one thing in jersey and all we love we love the weegee board and we love a pork roll Well, of course, why wouldn't you well houdini went on to report that in just one town in california

Five people have been driven to the asylum because of their use of the weegee board Now it probably wasn't demons that drove these people to the nut house But if anything, I think we've proved in this episode that the weegee is indeed a powerful object Whatever it is. Absolutely. No, that is definitive proof throughout this episode as our last example Let's bring george nori into the conversation. Yes, please I tell you what what I like. I love the weegee board, but tell me could someone bring me a weegee excited Yeah, yep. That is that I that is a funny joke Mr. Nori, thank you. Thank you. Thanks so much for being on the show. Love. Have you

Back in 2002 nori was guest hosting coast to coast a.m. For art bell And just happened to bring along a weegee board that night But is it like when somebody brings a guitar on stage like one of those like I just so happened to have a weegee board with me and everyone But when george started playing around with the idea of using it on the air He found that he was flooded with calls and when george tried talking to these people on the air He found that he couldn't properly hear anyone Then suddenly the power failed in the studio and when the backup generator switched on

George said that the planchette was pointed directly at the word No Shit, whoa, and when he tried using it a second time the studio blacked out again. Tell me weegee board. I've got a question If ghosts were to wear a hat, what color hat would the ghosts wear? G-r-e-e-n That is absolutely fascinating green hat. I knew it would be a green hat Power was only restored when the producer stormed into the studio Took the weegee board away from george and threw it out the door

But george remembered the event and in 2007 tried to take it to the next level If Loch Ness monster was gonna get a swimsuit, what color would the swimsuit be? G-r-e-e-n Absolutely fascinating Oh Nori's idea in 2007 was that he was gonna bring four experienced weegee operators on air Including the author of weegee gone wild to do a live reading and predictably listeners freaked out

Saying that a weegee reading broadcast to that many people would open up a portal to the spirit world so big We'd never get rid of all the demons. Oh my gosh They even had black magicians calling in telling george. Yeah. Yeah. Go do it because they said Because they said that they were planning to piggyback on the energy by doing their own Concurrent rituals at home along with the coast-to-coast ritual. This is extremely fun. Tell me you're a black magician Now what when you're doing your laundry How do you separate the colors? Is black considered a bright color or do you put it in with the whites? But don't add bleach

We don't do laundry. That's a fascinating question george. As a matter of fact, mostly I send it out Absolutely fascinating. Well, there is something to this though. We got a lot of energy happening with the with the radio There's something really cool happening there. Perhaps the demons will travel through the lines Now nori took the weegee apocalypse as he called it all the way to the night of the show But it was decided that if they went through with it, they will be blamed for every bad thing that ever happened in the world afterward So they pulled the plug at the last second Come on. I wish it would have happened. Well, that's what you can really tell it because you know It would be from then on any single thing you'd write. You know, people will talk about since 2017

Well, ever since the weegee apocalypse 2007 nothing's ever been the same and george is being like I tell you what I I love pizza That's great george Oh man, they should have done it But that shows you just how powerful the weegee really is again as we say all of this stuff is all about perception In the end the communications of the weegee may not be anything But our subconscious causing our muscles to twitch But just the belief in the potential of the weegee was enough to frighten thousands on a deep

spiritual level I love it the weegee. I firmly believe in the weegee if you want my if you all want my honest opinion firmly believe in I mean the where does that? Where do you think it comes from? porker brothers No idea, no idea, but there is something to it. It's really awesome stuff. Be careful It is one of those very accidentally deep topics is as you go through and you read more about it It's important to know what you're talking about We only barely know what we're talking about because we've been reading and we've read as much as we can

but the idea of the Trying to figure out the inner mechanics of the weegee board is absolutely fascinating in a very boring useless way That I wish that I could give to other people like the love of reading all the esoteric work was so much fun But it's so hard to talk about outside of your own mind Yeah, interesting. All right. There it is the episode on the weegee board Who knew there was so much to uh to talk about in real mirror tears as well. Oh very Fucking again. We only just started talking about it. Yeah Yeah, and there were quite a few murders that we didn't even get to a lot of weegee related murders out there

So I mean if you believe it or if you don't believe it those murders are real. Yes, so that's the interesting thing about all of that Um, awesome. So let's see here. So what should we talk about? We have our shows coming up So we got to talk about that. Yeah, we're on we're on the road real soon And it's gonna be fun. I'm excited to see you cannot wait. We got Nashville. We got Pittsburgh We got Cincinnati. We got Cleveland Our shows here in march at the bell house. I believe they're both sold out. They are both sold out now So we cannot wait to see everybody at that that very experimental first show first run not even a show yet I wonder so that would be fun. What that show will be about. I have no idea. We literally don't know

Yeah, no idea work on that soon. Yeah at some point. We probably should you can still get our live show www.lastpodcastlive.com check it out It's doing it's doing very well, and it's a wonderfully fun little event and have some friends over Yeah, and if you want to come see us, uh, we're gonna be uh, Nashville is 319 Cincinnati is 320 Cleveland is 322 and Pittsburgh is 323 and these shows will sell out So get your tickets now. We're already we've only had them on sell for like a week and uh, The uh, the shows are almost sold out. So if you want to come see us Be sure to get the tickets as soon as possible. Absolutely. And we have a little bit of a show announcement here as well

Um starting this month. We're going to be doing something where at the the last week of every month We're going to be doing two more side stories style shows. Obviously marcus parks will be joining us. Yes Because frankly marcus is soon to be dead Because he is working entirely too hard. Henry's brain You know part of it is that we want to bring you guys Even more thick ass shows because I think you guys like it. We fucking like it We like going into into uh topics as deep as humanly possible up to the top of our balls as much as we can Well, that's not that high

But you know, I mean a part of it is that we don't we gotta have more time to properly research some of this shit in order to Break new ground. Yeah, so we're like at this kind of crux So part of it's like having an extra week to do deep deep dive research Is it going to allow us to bring you fucking bigger heavier episodes as time goes because what we have We have a list for this year, which we do at the beginning of each year We sort of generate what we want to talk about and some of the topics are going to require us breaking new ground Which is going to actually require real journalism From fucking marcus and myself and and kissle sometimes

oftentimes Absolutely, it's going to take sometimes the extra but you won't have any less content from us It's just some of it's going to be a little less Yes, intense and historical it's going to be more current So a part of it is us bringing more of our energy to current affairs like we do with side stories with the help of marcus Who actually knows what he's talking about? Yes, where kissle and I could debate stuff on a much fluffier side on one side of side stories We have marcus come in on the other side and deliver a big bald version

Yes, and there's still going to be three deep dive intense episodes a month, you know, and there's also 250 deep dive episodes In the archive, you know where you know, you can go and listen all those It's just like one episode a month is going to be a little lighter Absolutely, it'll be wonderful and it'll still be great. It'll still be us It'll be us hanging out with our friends and you are part of that last podcast friend family So that'll be very exciting. It's not reading three books a week until I die. Well, which is going to happen very soon So we also have to do with a congratulations speaking of marcus parks. Have we mentioned your engagement?

Actually, we have not not on the show marcus parks. He made a decision that's Last a lifetime. Yeah. Yeah, he and carolina are engaged. So congratulations. Thank you very much. They did it in washington square park Although um marcus did not take my advice when he was going down to take a knee because you have to do that by law He didn't check for pebbles. No, I think that that's really dangerous not to do that But the lucky you got you got very lucky no pebble on the knee Yeah, and we also got we got offered drugs just about 15 seconds before I proposed Only in new york Only in new york and then a couple of and then a couple of tourists

Applauded of course one congratulations carolina. Congratulations marcus and we're excited to go to another wedding Thank you very much. Yes, there's a lot of weddings. Yes, there's a lot of weddings But I will say I also want to say thank you to uh helena and evan from lost creek farms Who sent me some fucking niche? I got a hold of some of their fucking squish. They're fucking they're they it is marijuana Uh, yeah, I wasn't sure what they sent you like jelly. They sent me this blue this blueberry shit. That's absolutely fantastic Uh, it it was these little stubby joints is absolutely incredible I'll give you to get a hold of it get it's called lost creek farms and holy shit, man

There's real groovy stuff and I'm not even paid to say this. I just love weed. Okay. There it is Um, I guess that that is basically all we have I think that's about it. Yeah, I think that's oh, yes, right lastly tuesday Um, I believe it's the 12th of this month There's gonna be a memorial show for kevin barnett in beautiful sunning in los angeles Uh, that'll be at 8 p.m. Henry and I and ed larson and jackie zebrowski will all be there representing the network And so if you're gonna chance come on out to that, it's gonna be it'll be fun It'll be slightly sad, but uh, it will be fun. So hope to see everyone that day

Uh, and also right before that i'm doing a show at the dinec typewriter for a show called never seen it that i'm actually really excited for Where i'm charged to write a script of a show that i've never seen Uh, and then presented to people and i did the podcast and i did mary poppins because i never seen the film mary poppins So i wrote a script of magic but never saw mary poppins. I've never seen it I've never seen mary poppins either. What no interest. No, it doesn't matter as you have an interest It's what parents put on in front of you to keep you quiet for two hours It just didn't get to my eyeballs. Yeah, it didn't get to it But what i was gonna do

Uh, so this time i'm writing a script of little house on a prairie because i've never seen that and i don't know what that is Well, that's fine. You don't have to see it, but henry now. What is pop quiz mary poppins? Well, what should you take with medicine to help it go down? Fucking that sweet sweet sativa indica No, it's sugar. It's sugar is the answer. Get them bug in terpenes, dude. Oh my goodness Keep on checking out all the shows here on the last podcast network abling and stop at the political season is heating up But we're having a lot of fun and wizarding the Showzer give to our patreon and yeah, i mean i just check out all the shows and all the shows are doing great

So thank you all so much for your support. Yeah, and uh go and follow us at lp on the left on uh twitter and uh instagram And we'll let you know when shows are released. There it is. All right, everyone Thank you for listening. We love you very much. Hail yourselves. Hail say My gustalations Uh hail me Fucking do the reading zozo if you wanted to fucking weegee board reading it is very helpful, but be prepared I don't know. Just go out there talk to zozo be prepared great guy do the reading be prepared Remember that what's that any beauty the beast?

I think that's be my guest That there's one that's one of the songs. Yes. I'm beauty in the beast, huh? This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com