Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 358: The Electric Chair

Episode Date: March 30, 2019

We continue our series on executions with an in-depth look at the origins and history of America's electric chair, from its beginning as a pawn in the great Battle of the Currents near the turn of the century to the absolutely awful ways that some executions have gone awry.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left You know, I'm not really sure what happens in the electric chair I'm not sure what those people go through, but it's anything like the pure energy that I experienced when I drink mm-hmm Spring-heeled Jack coffee The energy that runs from the tips of my toes up to the top of my dying hair Henry I'd be ready to seize the day and if this is how a murderer of a family feels or a man who has gone on some sort of like Carjacking shot a bunch of police and now he's in a super max prison awaiting his time with the oh Shackles I'll have me a glass of spring-heeled jackoff

Yeah, I don't want to bust your bubble there buddy, but that is decaffeinated coffee You gotta be fucking kidding me. That's a Saturday at live callback reference to 1993 Hey, what's up everyone? Welcome to the last podcast on the left. I am Ben Kissel I'm staring at the beautiful face of Marcus Park. Hello, and in sunny gorgeous, Los Angeles We have the man whose hair is hanging on by a thread Henry Zabrowski It is the thread that it is hanging on by I know it Well, I am you could see them all hanging on there are like a bunch of little refugees by the border They will be going to heaven soon. Don't worry hairs. You'll be going to a better place soon

Just just one big gust of wind and it's all gonna be gone. Oh last night We had a great experience Henry you won't believe what happened to Marcus Park to join me at a public bar Whoa, and we watched the Texas Tech What is it? What's red raiders the red raiders play basketball? They're doing great They're in the they're in the elite eight and I don't want to be too brave on this episode But Texas Tech they say get your guns up. Yeah, what I was thinking what put your guns down. Oh put your guns down Why because that's more peaceful

Respectfully treat your guns and other people But be trained with your guns So you guys were a couple of straights out there last night. We were man. It was wonderful. Marcus had two beers Yeah, and a bunch of water We were getting one I actually would like to take this opportunity to say Marcus Kissel and I have been talking and we think that you Have a problem. I think that your water habit Has kind of gotten out of control a lot of control. Yeah, I know I've been drinking a lot So you might wonder why did Henry mention the electric chair the electric chair?

Well, that is because get your sizzle going today's episode. It's going to be very very exciting It's all about the electric chair So the idea for the electric chair was first conceived in 1881 by a dentist and former steamboat engineer named Alfred P Southwick after he watched an old drunk named George Smith electrocute himself to death by accidentally touching a live generator in Buffalo, New York I got to tell you I've seen a lot of things in my time tugging the boat I've seen barnacles the size of my mother. I've seen whales the size of my mother When I see that drunk man get electrocuted on that line. I say I gotta see that again

You know, there is nothing like having a dentist with the history of a steamboat captain I'm like, so what are your credentials? Well, I used to have a steamboat and I would get hammered on that so anyway Let me see those molars Now although America was and still is pretty nutty for execution Yeah, yeah the older methods such as hanging beheading or the firing squad were making Americans in the late 19th century Feel a little icky for some reason. Yeah getting pus-ified Whip crack man. Holy shit. New York specifically a particularly gruesome public Execution had just gone awry when a man's head had been torn from his body during a hanging due to the rope being too long

So people were looking for a different cleaner method I think that one person said we needed a different cleaner method and a bunch of everybody else was just going like Yeah, I guess I guess we do So when Southwick saw that just touching one of these new electric generators could instantly kill a man He thought that he had the no-must-no-fuss solution to everyone's problems. Hell, yeah the Billy Mays of murder This guy is like he's Someone in we can electrocute a guy in 15 seconds flat so many other people would go home and be like honey

I saw a person died today. I'm really really struggling this guy went home. It was like baby. We got a new industry. I See the gap So taking it upon himself to figure it out Southwick first invented a device for euthanizing stray dogs at the Buffalo SPCA Which as far as euthanizing goes electrocution was probably better than their old method of drowning dogs and literally Hanging everything else and they got to drowning the dogs and hanging them It started with hitting them with a hammer And then before that it was just taking a bunch of dogs at a big cart and just rolling her off the side of a Corvoss into a gulch

With the machine gun fire there was that one just set fire to the veterinary clinic Maybe just put all the dogs in a couple of the bad orderlies and just burn the whole building of the ground Oh my goodness leave the dogs alone. My god. Yeah, when they had to euthanize a horse, they'd hang it It doesn't even make sense Honestly, what an impressive sight in a weird way and I've seen hanging horses before I was just in a place in Toronto where that's where the shirt cuterie comes from They hang it up till it dries and then you start slicing at meat. Wait you ate horse meat in Toronto Yeah, Jesus, man. I had horse salami

You know What is wrong with just a regular salami? I think that the horse was named salami Okay, so after a year of successful experiments with animals Southwick began publishing articles and scientific journals About using this method for the capital punishment of humans and since Southwick was a dentist He was most comfortable working with chairs. So the electric chair was born So his whole so essentially this is a podcasters invention. He just said he was like, huh, what do I do? Okay, how do we do this? All right, do we do it in a shower? No, no, no Someone else will do that later. Do we do this in a fucking? Oh an umbrella

Umbrella guy has an umbrella With an umbrella gun. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, what do I what am I I'm sitting in a chair Yeah Yeah, I would say the electric tub sounds more fun And then at least you get one last bath before they murder you before a crime you didn't commit So after tinkering with the design a bit Southwick paid a visit to his friend New York senator Jimmy McMillan After seeing a demonstration the senator thought the idea had legs So we ran it up the flagpole to the governor. I love how this is the hudsucker proxy

For murdering. Yeah, it's just them all super excited be like this is it. Oh, yeah, buddy That's the best pitch. I've heard in years and I tell you what guitar music is also on its way out Yes, I do wonder what was the display? Did they just put like a honey baked ham? That was wrong in the chair Look at it. It's fully cooked. No, they hooked a dog up to it They brought a dog they brought a fucking Dalmatian Governor's office and this is like you ready to see something that's gonna flip your wig and he's just like but wait a second I went to the wig flippers yesterday, and I had my woodflip already

I don't need a second time this week, and he's like no no no you can check this out And then they fucking killed a dog in his office And he's just like mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'll take 95 million Oh, good lord. I don't it's a strange time when he's like now. I'm guaranteed re-election So an exploratory committee was formed to gauge just how useful and humane this new fangled method of electricity Might be as opposed to the old ways But in the meantime the question remained what type of electricity would be used See back then America was still in the middle of what was called the battle of the currents because electricity was still new

two men George Westinghouse using Nicola Tesla's ideas and Thomas Edison had both come up with different ways of delivering electricity. So fucking cool Yeah, I wish I was alive for this part of history like just going to see all these crazy Demonstrations all these weird science fairs. Yeah, it would have been great They would have grabbed you and put you in the chair immediately The Polish while we do this here. Hey guys, how about you know how you've been using that ham for the demonstrations? Let me hold it in my hands So on the AC side you had George Westinghouse

Representing Tesla's idea of alternating current on the direct current side You had Thomas Edison who would once and for all prove what a cruel bastard. He really was during this battle Hmm, you mean marketing expert Definitely was that in a big part of the battle of the currents that isn't talked about very much anymore Is the fight over whose method would power the electric chair or really whose method wouldn't power the electric chair? Hmm, so they didn't this is hot potato for murder. Yeah, neither of them wanted this Okay, see DC didn't work very well when it came to powering cities and such the big copper wires that it needed Were just way too expensive. Hmm, but AC power had already resulted in a few highly publicized

accidental deaths So Westinghouse was pretty keen on keeping himself disassociated from execution. Okay. Yeah, I guess if yeah It's like on the movie 13 ghosts or those things where you try to explain your house is powered by vicious poltergeist It's incredibly useful, but sometimes it does kill your daughter. Yeah, I do like the idea of hitting a ghost to turn your TV on It's just Hitler every single time you stick him for your finger in his asshole He's like, okay, I turn up some volume, but just as hot It's like Wolfenstein. I love that you get to hit Hitler But in Edison's estimation if he could convince the public that AC was just too dangerous to use then Edison would win

The current battle and therefore the inferior technology would win which happens all the time Marketing puts the inferior technology over the top constantly. That's the American dream So in order to cheat the game Edison hired a man named Harold Pitney Brown to launch a PR campaign Quote-unquote proving that AC power was deadly technology thereby Influencing which current would be chosen to power the chair hmm to kick off the whole campaign Brown brought the press out to Edison's lab in West Orange, New Jersey These reporters watched as small animal after small animal was lured out to a metal plate wired up to a

1000-volt AC generator where the animal was zapped to death Damn dude, just some guy at the other good Popes his kitten just like It's like super cute and stuff and Edison's like I can't wait to watch it explode Our our leaders of this nation were just the weirdest goth kids It's unbelievable these are fucking metal kids all of this is stuff like me and this dude named D That I first met when I moved to back to Tampa when I moved from New York to Tampa when we were 13 years old D was the first kid I met with he had he had green hair and he's like

You want to go do some? Experiments and we went out to this field and we just blew shit up. Yeah, well it was fun as shit Yeah, and we never once blew each other. I know what you're saying. I didn't look in your eyes. I see it You're dancing those experiments were just for science. Okay, good, but you didn't kill any animals So that's that's all right. I wasn't like that. I didn't like to blow up animals or anything I got I don't mark as I did but that was just boys being boys back in the day boys being boys No, there's a lot of land in Texas. Yeah, I don't know why that's an excuse, but I'm gonna say that's the excuse There's a lot of land in Texas

Well that demonstration where they jolted animal after animal after animal that was actually where the word electrocution was coined oh But instead of reporting on the horrific and ultimately pointless parade of animal cruelty The newspaper man took the bait and reported instead on the dangers of AC power Hmm it was right around this time that the exploratory committee tasked with examining electrocution as an efficient method of execution as opposed to other new ideas published a 95-page report dubbing electrocution as the clear winner We have all decided as a committee that electrocution is the most badass cool motherfucking thing

We've all seen I love watching their knees jump up and down and I love seeing their eyeballs explode And I hope the same thing happens to the humans that we use in the chair No, I don't want to interrupt the meeting here. It is really cool technology But if we thought about not murdering our citizens have we thought maybe we could just do a different kind of penal justice Maybe we found the first person for the chair So on May 8th 1888 Senator Harry Cogglicell Pushed the bill through the legislature deeming that all capital offenses committed after January 1st

1889 would thereafter be punished by electrocuting the guilty until death, you know, Harry Cogglicell You know, he was super into pleasing a woman No, in no way was he like it's not a wedgie if you give it to yourself Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, so gross these people really are demonic evil entities. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, these are the people that built the structure of this country But still the question of AC versus DC when it came to power in the chair Still hadn't been solved and Harold Pitney Brown the PR guy that Edison had hired He was just getting started. He hosted another exhibition

But this time he shocked the dog with DC power first should to show that it didn't quite kill it Didn't kill it did I have to do this at all? No, of course not, but it didn't even kill it He's like look it just tortured the poor thing But look what happens when I fill it with an AC shock and then went and the animal immediately died He's like, huh, huh? I don't want to be a negative Nancy here, but have we thought about not murdering the dog Shell will make sure I get as many people in this chair as humanly possible Then Brown took the show on the road

He went to multiple cities throughout New York State Buying stray cats and dogs from children at a quarter of pop to use in his experiments in each town So this is basically like if Rob Zombie directed the music man But I will say Salami the horse that I ate at least every bit of his sinews were used to please everyone It wasn't just killing a bunch of dogs and cats and then I guess just leaving them What do you do with all of these dead dogs and cats? It's a good day for the one dude who got into the business

They all laughed at him when he said dog recycling wasn't gonna be a thing and then he's like look at all these dogs That need to be recycled and then he takes him to his dog recycling center, which is just his backyard He has to be pile of dead dogs and is out there Fucking each one of them saying I don't teach my wife to leave. This is getting sad with all the why experiment on the dog That's all I'm wondering but anyway because dogs are plentiful Good and you could go to any town in New York State and there'd be plenty of stray dogs And there were definitely plenty of street urchins that were willing to go out and hunt down dogs and cats For a quarter each. I mean that's like five bucks in today's money. Okay. Yeah, buddy

And now we're even saying these kids can't work. We're saying the kids can't work when obviously they can Well after just Electrocute and dogs and cats got a little dull Brown started bringing a whole menagerie of animals on the road He started electrocute and calves. He started electrocute and horses. He even once brought out an orangutan And killed it in a public demonstration all at the behest of Thomas Edison Edison was a huge bastard This is how science used to be done What I would love to see if they if uber wanted to do the self-driving cars

It would be pretty incredible if they just replaced all the drivers that have to do it with orangutans We don't have scientists that take chances anymore Lord Almighty although honestly orangutan uber was the greatest thing I've ever heard in my entire life And I would get in that uber every single time that would be so fun if an orangutan was like welcome and I'm like hey orangutan And it does like the sign language for like release me, please get rid of the tape Unfortunately, I don't know sign language Now there is a strong myth that Edison electrocuted an elephant during this time But that isn't strictly true the execution of topsy the elephant happened in 1903

Over a decade after the battle of currents was over and it wasn't Edison who electrocuted the elephant because the Electrocution of the elephant did in fact happen the people who electrocuted the elephant were the good folk of Luna Park Over in Coney Island who executed topsy after she killed a drunk who burnt her trunk with a lit cigar in addition to two other people I don't want to naysay the scientists and everyone's trying to find ways to murder people and say it's a civilized But we have an elephant that just murdered three people death by elephant Why I love elephants. They're extremely brilliant. They're great answer is right there stop the electric chair Why kill this thing? It's obviously the instrument that needs to be used to murder people if that if the state wants to sanction it Honestly, what a fun way to do it like you do it kind of Alexander the great style

Where you have the elephant boom boom boom boom and then the guys running around a big pan go like And we just like try to get but the problem is that elephants are naturally very nice Yes, so the only way you can do it is that you got to beat the elephant a bunch to make it hate people Yeah, you gotta put them in a specific costume like you got to take the dude The any prison like you beat the elephant with like an orange bag over your head, right? You beat him beat him beat it so you don't know it so the elephant gets super mad at guys with fucking orange bags in their head And you put an orange bag on the dude That's run around thing whether what that no matter what he did and he should be doing something like it should be like white collar crime

Yeah, absolutely, but of course as we learned from the green mile inmates like mice and what are elephants afraid of mice? So as soon as you take the mice out of your pocket, so now I'm actually going back on my idea Well the original plan was to hang topsy the elephant in charge admission But the ASPCA stepped in and requested something more humane, so they strapped copper sandals to topsy's feet Hook that up to the local power plant fed him care fed her carrots laced with cyanide and pulled the switch on one grade December morn Definition of overkill yeah, but the reason why Edison is so closely tied to this incident is because Edison sent out a film crew from the Edison film company To capture the whole thing for a quote-unquote documentary that was unimaginatively titled electrocuting an elephant that is literally

Seriously, that's so funny. It's like right on the nose electrocuting an elephant I would go see that in a movie theater in a fucking second I mean I see it on the live leak all the time, so I guess they don't need to pay a ticket Yeah, I think it's on YouTube. I don't think anyone should see it I really I understand what happens and right below the name of the movie on the title card was the name of the man who owned the Company that shot the film Thomas Edison hmm, and when you add that to the dozens of animals He really did electrocute you can see where the myth comes from but the thing was even without the elephant Edison and Brown's campaign Against AC power worked at least when it came to the chair hmm in 1889 a government committee

unanimously chose Westinghouse's AC power as the electricity of choice for execution Congratulations In a strange this is a huge government contract. Yes, so they got a lot of cash here Mmm, it's not that big of a government contract really yeah, because it's only generators for like three prisons and Westinghouse has his eye on the price. He's wanting to power AC all over the world Oh having the electric chair associated with AC that's not the best. It's not the best association. I understand Oh, it's like it's like getting a huge part in a movie and it turns out. It's called the Gavin McKinnis story Or honestly, it's like getting cast in a movie called human centipede

And I have said this before on this show I am calling for the actors of human senate be to have a resurgence Please they were great in the movie. They did everything they were asked to do well Westinghouse refused to cooperate When the order was placed by the state for the generators Westinghouse said fuck now I'm not gonna sell them to you and you can't make me So Thomas Edison stepped in and ordered the generators under a different name and had them sent to a university in Brazil And then Edison had all the generators shipped right back up to the New York State prisons So who were those generators coming from? Oh somebody named Carl Hungus. I Know again, I'm supposed to take all of these lessons as Edison. What a cheap horrible bastard

But it takes these kinds of decisions to become the most famous inventor in the world I was watching the thing about the Theranos woman. Oh, I did watch you watch the whole time It's being like technically she's living the American dream. She just didn't Get the ball across a lot. No, well, it was a it was a science that could never exist Yeah, the major problem Henry I don't want to say anything but is Spring Hill Jack full of full of like evil Especially evil today particularly evil, I'd say I don't know what it is about this story. I find inspiring I don't know either

Now the first person set to be killed in the chair was an illiterate vegetable seller from Buffalo named William Kimmler Who had killed his wife with an axe? Honestly, do he have to say that he was illiterate Fucker had an axe also he couldn't fucking read what an idiot. Let's find out. He was a vegetable salesperson But just after Kimmler was sentenced to death this green grocer suddenly had one of the most expensive Lawyers in the state a man named W. Bork Cochran That's a pug W gonna call me by my real name Borky Cochran

If your lawyer his name Bork just just plead guilty, it's not he's just gonna get you more time For reasons unbeknownst to Kimmler Cochran was soon filing appeals on his behalf Citing the Eighth Amendment which bars the government from handing down cruel and unusual punishment the bill for services rendered, of course Was paid by George Westinghouse who was determined to fight this until the very end They lost the first appeal, but on the second appeal who should show up on the stand? But Thomas Edison. No stone He's like a Batman villain. He is just there each time be like thought I gave up. He's just got like two light bulbs in a bra Oh, got you fucker got you again

So this was really like a personal feud. It was a personal vendetta. Yeah, and Edison gave testimony In saying that not only was electrocution certainly predictable and controllable enough for use in executions But Westinghouse's AC power with all its flaws mind you that's the perfect way to do it guys Go ahead see this shit is on point look at him here and to prove my point again I have brought this rare peacock Of the Adirondacks, can you see it's plumage? Oh, it's beautiful gaze your eyes upon it now Fucking on person a flame. Oh my goodness like that Look at that. Now AC still won the battle occurrence. You're using it right now

Everyone that's listening is using it using it right now. I'm not using it. Yeah, you are. No, I'm not But I'm willing to bet that Edison took just a little bit of joy in ensuring that at the very least Westinghouse walked away with the black eye because AC power powered the electric chair forever It does seem like the eighth amendment was sort of like Laughed at because how isn't this I'm personally against executions. I'm an anti-death penalty person We all we all are I'm anti-death penalty. I'm anti-death penalty. I don't think that we all should I don't like the private prison system I know but at what point do you watch a bunch of dogs? You know just get fucking shocked to death. You're like, that's not cruel nor is that unusual as a matter of fact

That's kind and you Was just like nah not really we didn't really mean it was there is it like in italics in the Constitution or something No, they believe that the electric chair was both humane and scientific. They thought it was progressive new fangal They thought it was progress like this is this is probably this is how much humanity is progressing with even we could even kill our prisoners humanely and without pain and Everyone doesn't have to feel all icky about all the blood and such We just got done chopping people's fucking heads off We were hanging them in town squares all of this shit. So to them the electric chair was Tesla

This was like this was the coolest newest thing. It was the iPhone Yeah, and this was not that long ago was this 1910 you said no this is 1890 1889 1889 Yeah, and so the chair was built the first electric chair was made of oak and the condemned was secured to the seat using leather Straps one electrode was attached to a shaven spot on the prisoner's head while the other was attached to the spine The electrodes were metal discs fitted with rubber that held in place a sponge soaked in saline solution thereby conducting the electricity directly into the body with minimal resistance You know this is one of the ironies about all of this is of course the Amish make the best furniture They legitimately are the hardest working people on earth

Mm-hmm, but then the electricity. I think they would have a hard time with yeah, they would yeah Well the first execution of this sort was performed by Edwin Davis in Auburn prison here in New York State The day before William Kimler was to be executed Davis tested the machine out on a horse and it worked great Salami senior Just feel bad for all these animals alright and after it was determined that a thousand volts should be more than sufficient to kill a Man Davis flipped the switch and sent 700 volts to Kimler's body for 17 seconds Then a second switch was pulled and a second charge of 1,030 volts killed the poor bastard

Oh, he's just snapping back and forth because this was before it was perfected I still don't think it's perfected But even though he was dead the chair also thoroughly cooked Kimler Filling the room with the smell of charred flesh and burnt hair as smoke rose from his head It was said that the proceedings received quote mixed reviews Well those in attendance were impressed by the speed but were less than thrilled about the burning flesh Oh, they didn't as many of them tried to leave the room But we're made to wait until it was all over and done with I actually like that sit there and we're sitting it

Yeah, I think so yeah So improvements were made instead of just two contacts on the head and spine They figured it'd be better to move the spine electrode to the ankle and double them up down there Bringing the electro count to three. They also rethought the voltage see just as it is with hanging There's a sweet spot when it comes to electrocution if you'll remember with hanging too short of a drop And the person takes forever to die too long and the head pops right up the body It was pretty much the same with the chair if the voltage is too low. It's just a long torture session. Yeah, and that's boring Yeah

But set it too high and the chair will literally cook the person in the seat and fry their brain in their skull Okay, this is Christ. It's such a big jump. Oh, yeah, but how long are we talking? We're talking 15 25 a minute. What's uh, how long as far as how long they do it? Yeah, well, it was decided that they would give 2000 volts twice at 60 seconds each with a 10 second interval in between Okay, so hold on now why the break is there does it need to have a halftime? Does it need to be played like college basketball where it's like we'll do a minute 10 second breather and another minute I think the idea is that it's supposed to zap them once. You're supposed to check if they're dead

I believe that's kind of the idea is that you're supposed to see have we completely wiped it out And then the second go around is supposed to seal the deal It's not until they do the second go around that they check to to see that he's dead Why do they do that always do twice to make goddamn sure? Wow? Oh, all right Edison now with a full suit made out of light bulbs It's me Crazy and not surprisingly the showmanship and the seeming efficiency of the electric chair made it a hit here in America Pretty soon the electric chair was being touted as the progressive choice for executions all across the country

Mm-hmm by 1910 for more states Ohio, New Jersey, Virginia, and North Carolina I had all adopted electric chairs of their own with each state putting their own little flair into the design Sir, I don't want to say anything here, but I've actually invented electric stool And I was wondering if you might be interested in that here in North Carolina How do you feel about being governor? Oh, that's what I want to see because that's what I've been saying for a long time if we get enough electrodes up their asshole I am certain that we could really it'll get this down to even 15 seconds Some of these seats had headrests some had full harnesses

Some even had little grates on the seat to let bodily fluids flow freely to a bucket waiting below Do you think it cooked the shit? I mean everyone who was electrocuted? electrocuted shat every single time like oh, yeah, oh, yeah the the convulsions all Everyone always always lost control, and if you want clothes on in the chair, right? It can't just let it go naked. Oh go. No. Why do you think that would be so in markets? That's not that crazy Like of course they're closed we're civilized would mean murder our people Yeah, no one get no one executes it hasn't no one's executed anyone naked in centuries All right, and if you want to hear more at least if you want to hear more hard-hitting questions like the one Henry just asked

Do they cook the shit you subscribe to our patreon? interview series And we we love the interview and everyone so thank you all so much for your support Thank you and each state had its own name for their chair as well in Alabama. They had the yellow mama They named it that because for some reason they had decided to paint their electric chair bright yellow Oh, why not make it as horrible as possible. I guess here in New York. We had the classic. We had old Sparky and In Louisiana, they had gruesome Gertie. Well, I'll tell you what I would you would name it after me Because they ain't nothing too bad about my seat gruesome Gertie. I told you a thousand times

You're not allowed in the supermarket The people say you you spoil the meat. You won't see how many cucumbers I get my purse. Yeah, at least gruesome Gertie is accurate Yeah, so I give them credit for being on the nose with that very actually while we were doing those reading through this Script I remembered these quote from Ernest goes to jail When he gets it when he finds out it's gonna get the chair It's like death row you mean like the chair the hot seat dead meat deep six It's over pal. You're out of here bub. God hogs are bringing you your mail. You're big turn up for the step letter The no tomorrow row that kind of row. Oh, no the row

Honestly Ernest holds up when he goes to camp. It's still hilarious It's still hilarious and the if you're feeling a little down today look up the pen scene from Ernest goes to jail on YouTube The movie as a whole is not worth sitting through but the pen scene Fantastic when he goes like all electro when he gets the superpowers from the from the chair That's awesome. It really is awesome I wish that actor embraced the Ernest character and didn't despise it his entire life But no matter what the name all electric chairs pretty much worked the same way as it was demonstrated in the green mile The sponge on the head really is the key to the whole operation

Hmm what the sponge does is let the current easily flow through the body if it's too dry There's too much resistance and when you got too much resistance. You got a man on fire Oh my god I remember reading about those a couple of the guys that burst into flames when the electric chair was still going on in the 90s. Yeah, well, we'll get to all those stories Yay, and if the sponge is too wet the saline short circuits the electrical current Hmm now at first the electric chair used leather straps to secure the prisoner which usually resulted in Unnecessary burns and it partly caused the terrible smell

Hmm this fact was noticed by a prison inmate named Charles justice as justice was cleaning up the execution chamber one day Suddenly got a lot of bulbs like those leather straps. You shouldn't be doing it that way. That's just gonna burn people So justice suggested that maybe they should use metal straps instead and lo and behold It worked so as a reward authorities reduced justice's sentence and allowed his parole from a high-state penitentiary It's all about thinking if you use that melon you could get out you can fix your life. He was a real Goodwill hunting. Yeah. Yeah in a way. Okay. I can't imagine the other inmates were like super thrilled to see him But well 11 years later Charles justice ended up right back in the same prison on charges of theft and murder And on November 9th, 1911 justice was executed in the exact same chair. He himself had improved

Yeah, I missed that lyric in that song Interesting I wonder if he thought that he made the right decision though as far as the as far as the leather strap goes I wonder if he's like well at least uh, yeah, it did make his trip You see you see I'm gonna be burned now. You see I have another idea. I have another idea. It's called let him go Everybody gets let go No as far as the other electrodes go the ones on the ankles those were slathered with a patented conducting jelly called ElectroKram, which smoothed out the current down below. That's a good way to impress your lover

Is that if that's if you want to use that for lube? Oh, yeah, like you'll find that my love-making techniques can be shocking Yeah, that's what women always like before sex puns I'm just gonna go and the relationship that we could have had never will happen. Hey, guess what? I never won in one of the first place And once all the electrodes were attached the switch was flipped then after a short interval It was flipped again then after waiting for the body to cool down a bit a Doctor would check the heart and if the heart was still beating bam flip it again. Oh goodness and tell He is dead or she so they didn't get like Earl Hebner the wwe referee to do the three count They lift the arm up one two three and if he obviously if it hits the third time he's dead

Mm-hmm. I think it could zap you. I don't know how electricity works. No, I don't know if it gets stuck inside the body No, they it wasn't The electricity in their bodies that they were worried about it was just that the body was very very hot To the touch and so they had to wait for it to cool down. So this is a Jim Gaffigan bit This turns into yeah Do we know what the temperature of the body is when it when the execution takes place not off the top my head? I don't know but the thing is we're not a hundred percent sure on Exactly how the electric chair kills a person. Hmm. Yes, the heart does stop

But how well technically it's probably due to Asphyxiation as a result of the paralysis of the respiratory system. Oh my god It doesn't even stop the fucking heart. It literally just chokes you to death. Well physiologically the electricity is so powerful But the brain begins to literally bubble from the curtain which fries the respiratory center of the medulla Which is the part of the brain that controls breathing? Whoa? Oh, that makes it so much worse. It's so much worse Or at least that's what they think is the most likely way it happens Because some of our stories today will show that there might be a few different avenues to death when it comes to the chair

Okay, but what the electric chair doesn't do most of the time is knock the person unconscious Most likely the person being electrocuted is aware the entire time able to both feel and smell Himself being burned alive until the lack of oxygen switches off the consciousness Oh, maybe they should have written the the eighth amendment with like the clap-back emoji And it hurts like hell to oh my god Yeah, this the skin turns bright red as it swells and stretches and if the body heat gets too high The prisoner can burst into flames particularly if he's sweating a lot and he's not sweating a lot

He should have been a professional golfer because it really takes a kind of calm to do that job Yeah, and then there's the hood now The hood is mostly for the benefit of the public watching the spectacle Not only is it easier to watch when you don't have to see the prisoners face It has been known for the eyeballs of the prisoner to pop out of their sockets upon the first jolt Oh, and I tell you what it takes my sunglasses to keep my eyeballs in my sockets every single time I take a sip of just delicious Spring Hill Jack coffee, you know, I have a feeling they're gonna stop sending it to you because they're gonna lose a lot of customers

It's a strange advertisement So the whole so the person they would feel their eyes bulging out of their head like like dead alive most likely Yeah, oh my god You read those stories about Raul Julia because he had that problem I forgot what the term is because his eyeballs were sticking out of the top of his head It's some weird thing where his sockets are too shallow and they said that his eyeballs would literally pop out and hang by the optic nerve And he just feel like excuse me because he's charming and he would just pop him back in You know what? I'm just gonna say that's like I gotta go to the restroom and then I would just leave lunch

Yeah, I would leave dinner Besides a five decade run in the Philippines The United States is the only place in the world where the electric chair was ever used as a government-approved method of execution Wow The British looked into it for a brief period and then decided to outlaw capital punishment instead So it was one of the first people to invent slavery. Yeah, I know they're like They have a horrible horrible history if it's too brutal for the royalty Britain I think it might be too brutal for us to so to date

4,374 people have been executed using the chair in the United States But looking at the stats provided by the death penalty information center electrocution does actually have the lowest number of what are considered botched Executions throughout the years. Okay out of the almost five thousand electrocutions performed only eighty four were considered to be botched That's one point nine two percent as opposed to the current most popular method of execution Lethal injection which has a much higher botched rate of seven point one two percent. How is that botched? Like my question is like, what does that mean then? Well, how does how is it lethal injection botched? It's like the thing doesn't work or like the guy isn't paralyzed or he he isn't anesthetized and then it kills him

we've talked about this on abling and stop at actually quite regularly and What happens is first of all these generic drugs because they didn't want to go for the really nice fancy drugs and second of all They literally just have like inmates helping out with the executions. It's just CEOs It's just corrections officers that are like today Randy You're you're doing the killing and then they have extreme PTSD It's not even doctors doing the damn thing. Yeah, they don't even have a nurse doing it. Who knows how to do an injection They're horrible. Well the actually there are never any doctors involved in lethal injections or gas chambers because of the Hippocratic Oath Oh, that makes sense first do no harm. So yeah, they're not actually allowed to

Participate in a lecture and in execution the smartest person in the room is the priest and that's never a good thing The only method of execution that has a 100% success rate is the firing squad But it's also the least used Only 34 people have been officially killed in the United States using the firing squad But the botched number on that one is a big fat zero. So I don't fully understand this We have a gun culture that is very difficult to explain to other people when you leave this country Yeah, how come we just didn't do the firing squad just always pop them in the head It doesn't it does create PTSD with our soldiers

But I don't they do the thing with the firing sky We're only one person's got the bullet and the one of them shoots or like a couple of them got the bullet But we train these guys. I don't know. No, it's how could that be more PTSD than frying somewhat? Yeah, I mean it is kind of that it is sort of kind of sort of the same thing I mean, I'm not really sure maybe it has something to do with the Associations it has to the military and like military. I mean, I know the Russians During the Soviet era their method of execution was just a pistol behind the ear Yeah, that's how Andre Cicadillo was executed a lot of people got executed

Just they just put a pistol right behind the ear and pop one shot and they're instantly dead I would take that in a heartbeat over having my eyes pop out of my skull as I slowly suffocate because of execution But even though the electric chair technically has the best record when things fuck up they fuck up Spectacularly and those fuck ups make headlines Take for example the 1946 case of Willie Francis See Willie Francis had the misfortune of having his execution prepared by an official who had decided to show up to work drunk that day And as soon as the switch was pulled Francis started screaming that he could feel everything They stopped at mid execution and when they asked Francis what the experience was like

He said he could feel the electrode point burning him and that his mouth filled with the taste of cold peanut butter They like hold peanut butter. He just said that's what it tasted like to him. He said it was cold peanut butter strange Also, man, your brains being fried kissle It's probably the first pleasant thing that comes up or just been like peanut butter peanut butter like in the sense of me Guess also if you're this guy doing the execution just don't show up to drunk Just don't show up to work drunk today. Yeah, you can be drunk the next day the day before I would imagine this is not the first time he showed up to an execution drunk. Yeah, probably This is just the time that he fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. It's not you that decides to show up to work drunk

Sometimes it's the drunk You show up to work. Well, it's one of the ironies of true alcoholics who are like, I'm very responsible I always show up to work drunk Yeah, if I'm drunk all the time then that's just me that's me buddy And Willie Francis wasn't the only one to survive the electric chair at least briefly in 1903 a man named Frederick Van Warmer was in line for execution along with his two brothers Willis and Burton the three of them had killed their uncle over money on Christmas Eve And all three were due to be executed on the same day

Willis went first Frederick went second and Burton was third and all three were killed in the span of 15 minutes Wow, but during the post-mortem a guard saw Frederick Van Warmer move his hand Horrifying turned out Frederick had an unusually large heart So the two shocks hadn't been enough to make it stop So they carted him back into the room Strapped him in and made damn sure he was dead using a third jolt because the sentence is You must be electrocuted until you are dead. So the sentence must be carried out I'm just so happy. They're going with the rule of law

I'm just gonna say this you you survived two two two jolts you go free Yeah, that's what I would say if I was if I was the warden. I would say you got two jolts. You missed your five You go free. Yeah, and Van Warmer wasn't the only one to go to the chair unconscious in 1936 a woman named Mary Creighton was executed for killing her lover's wife with rat poison and it wasn't her first murder either She'd also poisoned her mother-in-law father-in-law and her younger brother But there wasn't enough evidence to prove any of those murders. What does the husband do? Yeah, the husband knew the husband actually helped her Murder the mother-in-law the father-in-law and the younger brother

But Mary Crichton had moved on to another lover and it decided to murder that wife Now Crichton tried the crazy defense in the days leading up to the execution by banging her head on the bars and screaming and such But it was all for naught the execution went forward But on the hour of her execution she fainted when the guards came to her cell door Hmm, and that was Mary Crichton's last conscious moment on this earth as the guards Unceremoniously picked her up dragged her to the chamber strapped her in and electrocuted her while she was still passed out You the possum defense does not work In the on death row. I will say you know where the possum defense does work if they're trying to get you to leave a plane

if you just go Eventually they don't do anything to you and also I learned this from an Uber driver last night where he was having a problem With somebody who was sleeping in a car if you just refused to respond they can't touch you you now Technically own that car Long as you're in there. It's a good technique good technique indeed and Crichton certainly wasn't the only one to try acting crazy To get out of it either Harry Helms was on death row for dressing up in a Santa Claus suit and murdering two cops during a robbery in Cisco, Texas in 1929 not too far from where I grew up. Hmm back when crimes were fun. Yeah, kind of I guess

Do they not dress in costumes anymore for bank robberies? I think they put masks on Honestly the last great costume was the dudes who wore the full steel. They look like a furnace. Yeah, but that's not a costume That's like body armor. That was body What if they just come in like those sexy overwatch cosplay I would be distracted. I don't think you have to rob a bank I think people actually just give you money when you do that While Harry Helms was awaiting execution He started singing the same song in his cell over and over and over again while tearing books and letters into tiny pieces

It was 1929 so it was probably like I don't like butter on my corn One It is my favorite kind of music I love that if I may recommend my new favorite podcast hot pipes the pipe organ podcast It's great. Oh, well, is that real? Yeah, it's awesome. I love it. It's just some pipes. Yeah, hot pipes It's just some British guy quietly Talking about certain pipe organ players throughout the years. What cities have the best pipe organ when you're listening to the fascinating part of the pancreas were the

some pipes Wider than others this one the pipes were And Marcus is just like he's still got it. He's got it. Marcus. I have to ask you how many knives do you lick? Well listening to that podcast you live the life of a serial killer, but I know you're too busy to kill What are you talking about? What is what is wrong with hop out? What is it about hot pipes that spell serial killer to you? It sounds like a restaurant. It sounds like a restaurant that serves logs of shit Hot pipes the pipe organ podcast. It's my new favorite. Okay, you're allowed. You're allowed to listen to whatever you want Thank you

So after Harry Helms was taken for a sanity hearing a verdict of sane came back after about 20 minutes And after the same verdict came back. He reportedly said in a pouty tone quote I ain't gonna sing no more Honestly, that's the saddest thing we've talked about so far today and we've talked about copious amounts of dogs that have died So that is you can still sing buddy. Don't don't even stress it. Yeah, I guess I'll just keep myself silent No, buddy, you can sing and Henry Holmes was carried to the chair kicking and screaming by four guards Just a couple of weeks later and was electrocuted in a private ceremony with no witnesses and no reporters as per Helms request See, I like that approach though kicking and screaming make them work for it

Oh The peaceful person who was like I've made my peace there ain't no making peace with the chair, baby Oh, I would kick and scream the whole time try to get an eye You're gonna have to do some prison crossfit to get into that room because there's gonna take a lot of core strength They keep me while I'm swinging my arms and kicking my legs But I also do want as big of an audience as possible Remember that guys and I hate to say this Henry, but you kicking and screaming would be cute Okay puffing of humans you have to go I will have been on death row for a reason

Yeah Now while men made up the vast majority of light and writers over the years Mary Crichton was not even close to the only woman who went hmm in one case the sentence actually resulted in a jail house Romance dubbed the granite woman by the press Ruth Snyder was a housewife from Queens who was sent to the chair in 1929 for convincing her lover a corset Salesman named Henry jug gray to help murder her husband for insurance money. Okay, that's kind of hot It's kind of hot cuz it's you know sitting there every day Judd is just he's tying Ruth and like Mashin her tits up every day. She's just like

Hmm, maybe if you just play your card say maybe you can kill my husband and be my new husband For some reason I don't think that's the way that Ruth sounds Yeah, yeah, we got to get him out of the picture so my vagina is empty and Judd Gray's like oh, let me in there I'll do anything. Where do I go put a plug out of put the stool now? Let's do you say that Snyder was just trying to get someone else to do her dirty work according to Gray Ruth had already tried to kill her husband seven times by this point through various gassings and poisonings But still her husband had survived every single one. I wonder if you like mr. Magoo Legitimately like everything is going crazy around him and he just stays the course

I mean, it does make a good point with the horse blinders. Mm-hmm. Just don't recognize anything and you'll be just fine Yeah, you're just walking through scenarios things are blowing up around you Just thinking just what happy as you can be just the whistlin so to make damn sure he died Judd and Ruth Approached her husband while he was passed out drunk in bed Bashed his skull in with a piece of lead Chloriformed him and garranted the old drunk with a wire Okay, first of all your drunk shaming which I don't like and second of all it's it was he would still be alive If what if you hadn't been passed out. Oh my god. Okay. I'm sorry. It's called sleepy. He was

All I'm saying is if someone walks in a room into my room with a garret sober I'm fucking there man I'm sure you are I'm sure you we've always said that of course You're or you're distracted by listening to hot pipes because you fell asleep with the earbuds in and you don't know that I'm there with a garage the world at her derogable has some of the most dependable pipes Some of the sleekest paddles that you could ever put it harpsichord playing boot upon Carolin is just being like if I hear one more thing about a fucking pipe in this house. I'm gonna She loves listening to hot pipes as well, well, I hope she does we're a hot pipe household You

Georgie is just like how did I get here? I am a dog and this is hell. No, Georgie loves it. You she does Georgie's Georgie. No, she's loved very much Now after they killed the husband Judd Gray bound and gagged Ruth making the whole thing look like a robbery gone awry See that's hot. Yeah, you know, he's got her all tagged up. It's like come on, Ruth Let's get one more in there while your husband's still warm and she's just like it came a debt coming me I don't want to be a mommy. He's like, I'll make a course. It's so tight. It'll squeeze that baby out of her asshole I don't like it's jelly falling out of the bottom of my I do enjoy your Richard Nixon has sex with Casey Anthony

Sort of bizarre penthouse letter that you've created for all of us But stupidly Ruth hadn't gotten rid of any of the items She reported stolen to the police and the police smelled something fishy from the get-go here And they just found the items that she reported stolen stashed around the house Honestly, if you're Ruth flip it be like you found it You guys are the best cops of all time. You actually solved the mystery of the hidden lampshade Well, the whole thing really fell apart when the cops found a paper marked with the initials J. G. Mm-hmm Judd gray But as it turned out the paper was actually a memento from one of her husband's old lovers who just happened to have the same initials

But the paper was enough to get Ruth flustered And she was the one who brought up Judd gray whom the police hadn't even heard of up to that point And it was only a matter of time before police caught up to gray and gray rolled over on Ruth You mean to tell me these Irish cops didn't know the corset maker in town Tony O'Malley was just like he just makes me feel strong Makes me feel confident when I wear one of his corsets Well, the whole thing was such a farce that one reporter who covered the case called it the dumb bell murder Because in his words quote it was so dumb. Yep

Reporter of the year everybody was just too horny. Yeah and distracted Mm-hmm to really think straight. Yeah, give the guy a Pulitzer. Mm-hmm. He call he saw it and he called it like a son It's too dumb But it was while Ruth was on death row that she caught the eye of a prison cooked named dummy Dugan Dugan was a small-time gangster who was in charge of cooking meals for the death house And he immediately fell in love with the blonde-haired blue-eyed granite woman Hey, they call me dummy, but when it comes to love Mikey. Oh, I'm so dumb. I'm good I believe that dummy you're doing great and I'm too dumb for my penis to go down

Yeah, I believe it buddy. By the way the chili on Tuesday was a superb Yeah I made it out of it Okay, well, you don't got to tell me the ingredients. Thank you. I'm sorry Oh, I'm just too dumb to keep my chef secrets. I guess you are Well, dummy began to smuggle love letters hidden in sandwiches or taped to the underside of Ruth Snyder's trays and Ruth began to respond Eventually dummy Dugan proposed and Ruth accepted by writing her answer on a napkin. Oh, oh

This is but this is more of how to get a man. Yeah Well, he was he was providing her food a little love sure, but it wasn't meant to be So it turns out death row isn't where you find your long-term partner on January 12th 1928 both Ruth and Judd Gray were executed and dummy Dugan spent the night wrecking his kitchen and drowning his sorrows in Prison prune hooch Oh That's okay, you have a child his name is Forrest Forrest Gump. He's always taking. Yeah I'm gonna say he's just as smart as you. Yes

You're a daddy dummy Dummy no, you're a daddy dummy. I am a daddy dummy. We can do this all day I killed I killed three boys. Okay. Thank you dummy As far as the actual execution of Ruth Snyder went a new york daily news reporter snuck a tiny camera into the proceedings And took a haunting photo of Snyder mid execution and the daily news printed it on the front page The next day. So I took a look at this picture. Yeah, this fucking haunting Yeah, go google Ruth Snyder execution. This picture is chilly and then you can also see the camera Not exactly hidden. Well, not tiny, but they had loose pants. They lose pants. Yeah, I mean, but that that picture is truly horrified

Yeah, it was strapped to his ankle. Yes And but it's definitely you could see the motion you could see the motion of her body jerking back and forth It's it's pretty metal. It is Ruth Snyder execution Now as far as the people who actually pulled the switch wet There were some who gained a small amount of notoriety and new york The man who pulled the switch was officially known as the new york state electrician Yeah, was he named by the post? Okay, what a claim to fame to have the very first Edwin Davis killed 240 people in the 25 years

He manned the switch including the first woman Martha place who had murdered her stepdaughter in brooklyn by throwing acid in her face In 1898 did they give him like a 25 year old like mini electric chair that had a plaque on the back Well, the names of the people he killed well after Davis retired his assistant John Hurlbert took over and he managed 140 Executions in 13 years Described by the press as quote the man who walks alone Holbert only did the job for the paycheck and retired after a nervous breakdown I can't imagine the weight on of being the arm of the state Yeah job is to go you pull the lever because that's what they do, right? They just outsource all their dirty work to one fucking guy

So it starts with just somebody signing a piece of paper saying a death Bio-execution until dead and they don't have to do fuck. They don't want to do anything They just send it down to this guy. Yeah, that's to absorb all of this shit like a big emotional diaper and a lot of times they're just regular corrections officers because Um, doctors aren't allowed because the Hippocratic oath and uh, yeah, I mean, it's got to be extremely traumatizing Yeah, well the man who replaced Hurlbert eclipsed them all George g Elliott pulled the switch on 387 people in the same amount of time as his predecessor 13 years And when Elliott wasn't in the executioner's chair. He ran an electrical contracting business

Oh, yeah, know your brand. That's what this is about. Yeah, he was on I'm in the zap business Yeah, I guess so in fact the way Elliott got into the business was that he started off as just a general electrician at Danimora state prison And eventually he began assisting Edwin Davis in general maintenance of the execution chamber systems and when John Hurlbert Retired and you're like Let's get Robert to do it. Yeah, next guy up. Mm-hmm. But the reason why his body count was so high

Was because Elliott was not only the switch man for new york But he also performed all of the executions in new jersey, pennsylvania, vermont and massachusetts Jesus does he just like drive a uh, a um, what are you a hearse? He did spend his doctor death. He once did six executions in three states in one day Geez man. He's the tri-state grim reaper. He really is but so this dude liked it. Is that my understanding? He was fine with it like he saw him. He said he saw himself as just an arm of the state and he was actually After he retired came out against capital punishment. He's like, I don't see any point to this in any way whatsoever I hope we get to a point in society

Where we don't do this anymore, but he still took the hundred and fifty bucks for every execution Which doesn't sound like a whole lot of money, but in today's uh dollars that was two thousand dollars for execution That's a hell of a lot of cash. He was doing it for cold hard cash. Yeah, that was a part of it That was his job and so then back then people were pretty grim about how to get their money. Yeah I think people have gotten worse on that front Well, I mean, I don't know how there's not a ton of people lining up to be executioners these days But back then every time there was an opening for execution or at least in the late 1800s early 1900s They would get just be inundated with letters from people being like, I'll do it. Wow

Just bring me on. I have no problem with it And now they estimate 1.8 to 2 percent of people on death row were innocent But back then I think that number is probably like 20 or something It's supposed to be a huge percentage of people that were innocent that they killed. Oh, yeah The electric chair is heyday quite a few innocent men and women went to the chair And speaking of which, uh, you know, it was George Elliott who pulled the switch on Italian immigrant Sacco and Benzetti Who was one of the very famous case of two immigrants getting railroaded back

In the 20s. I think we're learned about it in school Are you telling me that this nation sort of maligned immigrants? No, come on This is back when Italians were truly for it. Oh, yes. I know. Yeah. Yeah. They sent both of them to the chair Wow, and they did not commit the crime. It was a big cause to live back in the day But it did not matter and both of them were executed But one Italian who actually did commit the crime Was a man named Giuseppe Zangara

Yeah, he's Italian Giuseppe was an Italian immigrant who suffered from chronic stomach problems that he blamed on being overworked as a child So he blamed all of his problems on capitalists Well, he came to America in 1922 and moved to Miami where his chronic pain and hatred for capitalist Boyled for a decade before he decided that the thing that would solve all his problems would be to kill the president Have you seen the shape of my poop? It comes out any tiny little little balls They said oh, if it looks like you shoot a rabbit with it, it means you got the unhappily god I need some lettuce

He later said and this is a direct quote quote I want to make it a 50-50. Since my stomach hurt I get even with the capitalists by a killer president. My stomach hurt a long time It's an interesting political motivation to kill a president. You have a tummy ache. So you're gonna kill the president Yeah, it does make sense. I think it makes sense. Somebody's gotta pay. I am. I'm gonna say this if he was alive today Over under 30. I'm going over on bumper stickers. You know, he's one of those guys every political Belief he has is summed up in a bumper sticker on the back of his van. Yeah, it probably got it Kind of like the magabrom bomber got 20 40 60 stickers or so. Maybe a couple of dolls heads

Glued to the hood. Yeah. Yeah, and it just so happened As Giuseppe's hatred was boiling that president elect Franklin Roosevelt was coming through Florida for a visit Little did he know a storm was brewing. No, not outside in this man's tummy So Giuseppe bought a 32 caliber revolver for $8 And headed out to the event where the new president was about to give a speech But the thing was Giuseppe was only five feet tall. Oh, he's so cute. He's got a tummy ache Oh Don't stop him. Make a fun of me. You're a big ol warrant

Oh, if I could come up the bike and get up there. Oh, I would put the my my goals down inside your nose Oh, I'm just it is a cute assassin. You're an adorable little assassin. Yeah, I take a shit on the ground I make a tattoo with a higher pipe. So I stand up on the top of the docks and then I shoot a president Okay, it's kind of scary then Yeah, since he was so short he couldn't see over the crowd So he had to stand up on a chair to take a shot at the president But since the chair was a little wobbly Uh, the five shots that Giuseppe managed to get off missed the president completely

It's like the end of dumb and dumber where it's like you're in a horrible shot But he did manage to hit four people because it was a very uh, and he did manage to hit the guy standing right next to fdr The mayor of miami Anton sermac who later died. Well, you always make my joy less Because then I was happy because I thought it was funny because I was like Whoa, whoa, I can't shoot straight But no, no, he didn't kill him. Yeah, the mayor in the mayor was killed. Yeah, it's still funny. It's funny that he's five feet Yeah, it is. That's why I put it out there. You know, I like it. I love short people

I love tall people have middle-sized people. Good cover kiss. Thank you Well upon being sentenced to death for the murder of the mayor Giuseppe said quote you give me the electric chair I'm afraid of the chair. You one of a couple is you is crook man, too Put me in the electric chair. I don't care I'm okay No, I know you don't care. It is funny that we have a step stool so you can get up to the electric chair So it's kind of a funny joke. Oh, if I didn't have it at the poop I wouldn't jump on top of that stool and I would use my tiny little boot

And I would dog. I would chimney sweep you across your big ocean. You walrus I just think like the leprechaun his legs kicking like But it is an electric you should it's very sad actually on the day of his execution Uh, they tried to help them up into the chair But he did climb up all by himself like a big boy. Oh But what pissed him off most was that no photographers had showed up He was so mad that no one really cared even though he almost killed the president. Yeah. Yeah, he about that. He said quote Lousy capitalists no picture. No one is here to take my picture

All the capitalists in a lousy bunch of crooks Then when the hood was pulled over his head he yelled as his last words quote Viva atalia. Goodbye to all poor peoples everywhere. Go ahead. Push the button Cool, and then they flipped the switch because it's not about it. It's not about you got that wrong So he made a mistake because his last word. Yeah, just said he got that wrong. Yeah, I got that part wrong So he would probably take less voltage though like I don't think so no it doesn't work that way No, it's not like the rope where you know, they have to measure height and weight to see how long the rope should be

I think it's a pretty uniform 2000 volts each time. Okay Well, eventually the electric chair fell out of fashion A more cynical mind might say that they just figured out a way to monetize execution by doing legal injection instead Mm-hmm, but either way by the 80s the chair was barely being used But the fact it wasn't being used that much didn't stop john lewis evans from requesting it for his method of execution in alabama in 1983 only problem was the last time the electric chair was used in alabama was 1965 Oh, but still it was evans right to request it and it was still on the list So alabama dusted off the yellow mama and strapped him in

Not surprisingly though the yellow mama was not quite as efficient as it had been 20 years earlier Almost immediately sparks and flames shot from the electrodes tied to evans left leg And a cloud of gray smoke poured from his hood filling the room with the smell of sizzling bacon So after that first jolt he was still alive. Oh my god, maybe he made a mistake. I think you made a mistake He made a mistake because they did it again and more smoke poured from his head And still he didn't die. Shit. It is like frick. It's like, um, uh, oh my god. What's the the not faulty towers It's the it's the monty python. Yeah when the guy cuts off both of his arms cuts off his legs and I still I'll bite you Yeah, just imagine being that room watching this body jerk back and forth while smoke is pouring out of it and just being like

He wanted this Flames actual flames. Oh my god, everything was corroded, you know, like it'd been sitting in a room for 20 years And they I don't think they did any kind of test on it. I don't think they even like look at there like no I bet he'll still be fine. Just put him in there. He'll die either way just test it on some spam or something Yeah, because by then they didn't want to do it on dogs. Yeah. No, thank god Yeah, it wasn't until the third flip that Evans mercifully expired. Oh good lord, but the state that really fucked up enough to finally end The electric chair era of american capital punishment was who else but florida. All right Finally over the coming in hot

Coming in hot as always over the course of nine years florida fucked up three Executions in spectacular fashion In 1990, I guess trying to save a little money officials used a synthetic sponge To conduct the electricity instead of a natural sponge on a prisoner named jesse to ferro How much money are we wasting on the sponges that honestly how much the difference have been? They always they always cut the dumbest thing and they're like that's fiscally responsible We have a different kind of sponge. I don't know why they used a similar like they used a supermarket sponge Like it was just you know, someone just went the ceo just went to dwayne reading Goddard or Walgreens or whatever

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, we need a sponge for this right like the instructions just say sponge It's like yeah, go to Walgreens and get a sponge and they just popped around his head Turns out that's pretty important fucking detail because when they turned on the electricity Huge towers of orange and blue flames started to shoot from the top of the guy's head. Oh my god Seven years later the same thing happened with print Pedro Medina Possibly because the sponge was either dry or it had been soaked in water instead of saline solution Others think the metal in the helmet might have been corroded as well But the final nail in the coffin of the electric chair's popularity came in july 1999 when alan tiny davis

Was strapped to the chair and as he was being electrocuted blood Poured from his nose out of the bottom of the hood due to a poorly fitted electrode Oh, damn. It's like the fucking end of the indiana jones. Yeah, it's that shit the fucking head melting That's crazy looking but even so nine states still offer the electric chair as an option for execution And the last person in america to ride the lightning did so last december december 2018 december 2018 was the last time a guy was executed in america for the electric chair It is like Well, I always liked mountain dew

So I I feel like maybe I will ride the lightning one more time. Wow. That is crazy. Yeah reportedly his last words were Beats being on death row. No, it's yeah Hey, it's a living As well just hit me be like, hey, we gotta do we gotta do Yeah, when you put when you have like the whatever emoji and then like the zoom in That's not good. I am completely against it. It needs to be outlawed. That's what I say as benjamin kissle But those words don't even compare to the last words of edmund zagorski who'd been sent to the chair just a month before in november of last year

Polsky There you got one buddy His crime was lowering two men to a hunting cabin under the guise of selenium weed Uh, but instead of selenium weed. He just slept both their throats. It's just so much worse than weed. Yeah, that's not weed at all But right before the switch was pulled zagorski said only two words Let's rock You know, I do think that's really cool for last words, but at the same time, I don't think I'd I wouldn't be like this is where I'm gonna be tough

No, man, it's like you're in the electric chair and you just sit there and you go I would do that in a second. That's exactly what you gotta do No, that was really interesting the electric chair And I'd like to thank listener ben white for providing the book electrocutions in texas 1924 to 1964 Which featured the santa claus robbery story. So is that book like three times the size of the bible? It's pretty It must be electric electrocutions of texas for their 30 year span. It's pretty large It's a lot thicker than you think it'd be. No, it's probably just as thick as I thought it would be I picture you just like with your back breaking holding it carrying it to your office

We've learned a lot today. We've learned that marketing is more important than skill. Yeah. Oh, yeah We've learned to always use a natural sponge always. Yeah Well and never use a pun before having sex. There it is three three takeaways from today's episode. That's why it is edge entertainment well technically, uh AC was the superior power for electrocuting a thing to death. I don't he was right Um, I want to let you guys know about this benefit that's happening for a good friend of ours A great great research everyone great research everyone Um, there's a benefit happening on april 1st for our good friend jason signs on april 1st in new york city

And in henry zabrowski's homeland of beautiful Los angeles And of course not my homeland it is kind of your homeland you've become now it is I know and then on the third in washington dc There's going to be a show So this is a benefit for jason signs. He was in a horrible accident Didn't have health insurance for many many weeks and months and he was in the icu So you can just imagine how much that costs, but he is aft right now

He's straight up aft. He needs our help trying to get him as much money as we can Uh to save his bullshit. Yes, and there's going to be a lot of fun. There's going to be some prizes It's not going to be sad times. It's going to be a really fun fun comedy show And uh, holden and i will be performing in in new york And henry it's an arleans grocery. Make sure you put the name. Yeah, yep at arleans grocery and henry What's going on in la? Well, it is happening monday april 1st at the region theater at 8 p.m We're going to have some great comedy. I honestly this is what I want to really hit the hit is that this is not like a

Bummer show no this thing's fucking going to be very very funny. Yes, absolutely So come on out for those shows and in washington dc Um, I think maybe we'll put it in the description of the episode today. Yeah, maybe so yeah, perhaps So anyway, let's go support a friend and uh, we can't wait to see y'all this uh upcoming week Yeah, we're at the region theater. It's hosted by me big boy ed larson and jackie zebrowski. We're going to have a good time Absolutely and jackie. She promised me she's going to wear her best corset That'll be great and just drive you totally insane It's

Um, is there anything else that we have to talk about we have some tour dates coming up berlin It's Stockholm get those tickets there. They are going they are going like hotcakes, although I don't know how many I don't even know where that came from because I don't really like hotcakes or pancakes I don't know where that phrase comes from. I love pancakes. I know but were they really that popular where it had to be cliche Where it's like it's a whole restaurant There's one of the most popular restaurants in america's did is devoted solely to pancakes no to waffles. Yes Waffles and pancakes. It's an international restaurant Okay

Then we got a whole bunch of tour dates coming up uh in uh may Uh may 17th. We're coming to kansas city may 18th is dimver may 19th is salt lake city Uh may 30th. That's vancouver may 31st is seattle. Hmm june 1st. That's portland june 23rd. That's our australian tour June 23rd going to perth the 24th is adelaide the 27th is sydney the 28th is melbourne and on the 29th We got braised byine cannot wait. Yeah, and then uh, yeah later on the summer in july We got uh oakland on the 18th We got san diego on the 20th and los angeles on the 21st and then in the fall time in september

We got dublin on the 4th bristol the 6th edinburgh the 7th Manchester the 10th bermigham the 11th london the 13th and the 14th. We added a second show there Uh, and uh, we got stockholm on the 16th. That's in sweden. Oh and berlin Which is in germany. Very good. It's on the 18th Man and honestly buy those tickets berlin We are looking for like we because there's smaller houses. We don't know how many how many of our boys and women We got out there and we want to see your fucking faces. Yeah, we can't fucking wait. I'm so Crazy psyched. Yeah last week was so much goddamn fun getting to meet people and do our new show

I love our new show. Yeah, this is this is what a crazy opportunity. We're on man. This is such a crazy ride Yeah, absolutely for those of you like who don't know like what our live show is It's not just us going up and just yapping for an hour like it's not just us sitting behind a table Uh and record and doing like a live podcast like it's a full on show That we've you know written and practiced and performed That we love to tour around, uh, america. Uh for all you view wonderful people. Absolutely It's a fun experience and you get to hang out with other listeners and hopefully have a great night. Um, all right I really can't wait. Yep. Thank you all so much for giving to our patreon. Henry nihilist

Uh, we interviewed joe bob briggs today or not today this week on side stories Um, but uh, that's a good example of what our interview series is like So I think you'll enjoy it and that was just a special get so we had to put him on side stories Yeah, joe bob, of course. He is fucking hilarious. Oh, he's he's a legend. He's an icon Oh, yeah, I used to love monster vision when I was a kid watching every saturday night And little did you know he won a cable ace award. How many cable ace awards do we have we have a webby none? None. I know. Um, all right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourselves Hail satan. Hail again. I'm a goose to lay your shawls

Hail me and I'm about to take a shit sponsored by springheeled jack coffee Uh, mr. Zabrowski, could you never mention our coffee name again? Our stock went down 30% The best part about that coffee is it makes my shit extra long. Well, you've done it. You've done the opposite. Thank you Hail me This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com