Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 359: Illuminati Update

Episode Date: April 6, 2019

On this minisode, we're talkin' serial killer poetry, what's happenin' in the wide world of Illuminati conspiracy, and the origins of Marcus "Farts".

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? So, I'm listening to the radio, of course, rockin' all the classics. Yeah, you rockin' the classics? I love it. I love Peter Gabriel, unironically. Okay, hold on a second. Did we agree to make this another grandpa podcast? I thought we were trying to be young and hip.

This is how you get back around. You have to go all the way back around. But what is it with Peter Gabriel and Sting, and I'm gonna lump Paul Simon in there, because they're all the same shape. Why, at some point, what record producer is like, hey guys, go out there and buy a bunch of African people, and make them play with you? Why do they go through that period of time where there's a bunch of people where I don't know if they're even thrilled to be playing with them or not? You know, that was the diversity of the 80's music. There was, what was it, Live Eighth, or the song, but this is side stories by the way,

I am Ben Kitzel, Henry Zabrowski, we're joined by Marcus Bargs. When they sang that song, I forget the piece of crap that did it, Do They Know It's Christmas? George Michael, I think. No, it was everyone. George Michael was in charge of it. George Michael was in charge of Live Eighth? No, in charge of Do They Know It's Christmas. No, it was another guy, he was a scam artist.

He had, like, blonde hair as a total D bag, but I wanted to ask them, I just wanted to kind of shout in response, be like, do you know they're Muslim? Because they don't have to celebrate Christmas, you freaking morons. Do they know it's Christmas? Do they care? I don't think so. I never expected George Michael to be like Elon Musk. I don't think he's a genius in disguise, right? He's got a beautiful apple bottom, and he knows how to pump out the songs, and now he's dead, Kitzel, how do you feel?

I actually feel horrible, I love George Michael, big fan. And there was one guy who was able to actually incorporate the African influence incorrectly, that would be David Byrne. David Byrne. He's great. Who fucking nailed it. Great. Because I can actually dance to it, the rest is all just Starbucks music,

an alternative to that, what happens with that? I don't know. They drain all of the good stuff out of the culture, and then they just add marimbus. As we learn when Hollywood gets woke, the green book wins an Oscar. It's almost like they miss the mark every time. All I know is that there is a man in my neighborhood who keeps blasting Peter Gabriel from his car loud enough for me to clearly hear it in my apartment every two to three days. Oh my god, Peter Gabriel is your neighbor?

Because you know Peter Gabriel. He's like that dude who I told that story about in here. This is a good tune of mine. You know, like it's playing in the middle. And the soul's very ill. It's the same Peter Gabriel song, and he only plays it 30 to 40 seconds at a time, but it is the loudest car stereo that I've ever heard in my life. And he just drives around the block.

I don't know. I just know it's Peter Gabriel. Honestly, do that. Do that. I've been waiting for the star from now. Hold on. Oh yeah. I think that's called hold on.

I legitimately think he's just trying to get a girl back in your apartment building. He goes out there and he's doing the, what's his name? John Cusack. John Cusack. She is not listening. No. It doesn't work the same. It doesn't have the same payload that he used to have in the 80s and the 90s.

Well, I have to ask, is Carolina looking out the window sort of beginning to cry as he drives by? Perhaps this is an ex-romantic partner of hers. Oh no. I wish I belonged to him. I wish he was my fiance. Carolina, stop talking to yourself. I'm trying to write in here.

No, he's two blocks over for some reason. Okay. But that's how loud it is. Oh, very good. Very good. I can't, I can't judge him. I can't judge him too much. When I was in college, I had an REM tape automatic for the people stuck in my yellow

geometro tape player. We know. We know. Well, I'm just saying, all of my neighbors, I got called a hard F word quite regularly, and then I would get out of my car, and unlike the Simpsons interpretation of what big guys act like when they get out of a yellow geometro, I wasn't nice. No, I mentioned after you spent all day slinging Jimmy John's. Oh yeah.

It's covered in schlitz, unfolding yourself out of that geometro. I didn't drink and drive. I would have my little one-hander, okay? You would drink then drive. No, not it. I took my Jimmy John's delivery very seriously. We were fast. We were the quickest delivery in town.

I was very good at it, and I got paid a lot of times in marijuana, and I would tell them, I need money for rent. All right, everyone. We got a couple of fun little stories here. What's going on, buddy? I was saying, you can't just give your landlord a pile of weed and just be like a Native American deal here. Let's go.

Let's work something out. Let's barter. You hate my body. You love weed. No, no. My landlord, he particularly liked money. So a very cute Asian couple, as a matter of fact. Pete, he was a very nice man.

All right. Well, as you know, he really was a sweet guy. As you know, we will be going to the beautiful other side of the world, Australia. So the first story I want to talk about tonight or today or this morning, whenever you're into this, you're scaring your family, Kissel. No, I can never scare Puffin. Puffin actually draws blood every time he bites me. Okay, so this is a funny little story.

The headline is, Court Appeal Blow in $1.8 million fart bullying case as man vows to take fight to the high court. A Melbourne engineer who claims a colleague repeatedly farted near him as vowed to go to the high court after losing his bullying case on appeal. David Hingst, he's 56 years old. He saw 1.8 million bucks in a suit against his former employer construction engineering. He wanted 1.8 million bucks for farts. Well, this dude, his ex-colleague, the man who was supposedly the farter, his name was

Greg Short, and the engineer claims, this is David Hingst, he claims flatulence was a form of bullying, and Mr. Short, and then he goes on to say, and Mr. Short was a serial farter. Yeah, if you're getting crop dusted every five minutes, I would say that's a form of bullying. I don't know if it's worth 1.8 million, but I think he's got a point. How bad? You move, yes, 60 bucks.

Okay, honestly, he owes you a lunch a week. If he's gonna fart in your cubicle, because you honestly, you can move, number one, you can move, or number two, you know, you can do, you kick him into nuts, be like, get away from me, you fucking, you dirty boy, you're being dirty in the office. Okay, I just, this is my thing, and I don't know if this is going to be controversial. This is construction workers. Now, this isn't a cubicle, this isn't what McDonald's, this isn't a restaurant. These are construction workers?

These are construction workers, so I'm just going to say, and I don't know if this is controversial, but it's, construction workers fart. Because they are, they're bending over, they're working hard, you tend to be in an outdoor space. They eat a lot of heavy foods. They have to, because they gotta build heavy buildings. This isn't just on the site, you know, further, further reading of the story says, this guy that's got the suit, he worked in a small windowless office, because you have office

workers when it comes to construction, and this guy, this boss, would come in to his small windowless office, fart behind him, and walk away, and he'd do it five or six times a day. Here is the, alright, here we go. This is a breakdown from David Hanks, to his picture leaving the Australian courthouse covering his face in shame. He's leaving, he's literally going like this, covering his face so no one can see it. I'm sorry I'm acting it out, you can't see it, it's a podcast.

Hanks sued the firm for bullying in 2017, accusing Supervisor Greg Short, whom Hanks referred to as Mr. Stinky, of being a serial farder who regularly thrusted his bum at him. And this is a quote from Hanks. I will be sitting with my face to the wall, and he would come on the room, which was small, and head near windows, and he'd fart behind me, and he'd walk away. He would do this five or six times, and die. Which led the engineer to spray deodorant at his boss. The reoccurrent gas passing, Hanks' claim, was a part of a conspiracy to end his employment

and cause him quote unquote, severe stress. Yeah, and he also brought a buddy in. He was charged last by other, my fellow employees, who had received bullying phone calls. What we have here, it's like out of a serial mom or something, but what we have here is a company culture, and this company culture was a fart culture. For example, they used to do a thing called fart offs. This is in the article. So Mr. Short, he brought in another employee named Phil Hamilton, and they would do a thing.

This is according, Mr. Hanks said this. He said, the two would actually do a fart off. You would come over to him and drop your guts. And then when he went over to you, and then he would go over to you and drop his guts. Which is, I guess, how Australian say fart. So it was, I mean, I don't know, it just seems like when you're applying for the job, you just have to be like, this is a fart job. This is a fart zone, company culture, we fart here.

I mean, we run a podcast network. It would be like, if someone got offended for us for talking too loud or something, he's like, well, this podcast network, we talk. No, I think they specifically used the farts as a way to drive this man out of business. If it's a part of the culture, though. How are you two on the side of the fart? No, I am channeling my little like Jeremy Piven from PCU. But no, honestly, it's funny.

Hey, listen, also, in some ways, nothing he's asking for it. But he's sitting alone in that office, you know, constantly complaining about the farts. When you arrive, I'm certain, again, I'm with Gisle. On that interview day, there was probably at least one guy walked out of the room and went, hey, guys, they're one. And everyone was like, hey, you're fucking a good one. Actually, everybody all fucking high-fiving each other. And Hinks is like, oh, I hope it's not like that every day.

And they're like, nah, just on Wednesdays. And he has to like, incorporate himself in there. You mean you got to catch up with the group. Well, anyway, the judges, patients and forbearance and forbearance are evident in this case. So the judge took a lot of time in saying that this is not going to work out for this dude. His $1.8 million claim included compensation for injuries and for lost earnings, having previously earned a salary of $100,000 for his design and engineering work. So this guy was, he was the brains of the operation.

And the beef of the operation was just like the big old boys who just came in and farted. Well, honestly, he's probably trying to do some quite difficult calculations to make sure buildings don't fall down. Yeah, design and engineering. No, what this is, is that this is the jocks coming in and farting all over the fucking nerd. Honestly, sometimes jocks are funny. Dickhead. But sometimes jocks are funny. Sometimes.

It's so hard. Am I, are we, is our response really supposed to be like, I stand with the victim? I want to make sure that his rights are heard, his story is heard. It's, I do understand it. It is. I am, I am just dying. But you know, I don't want to, it's, we're all animals. Yeah.

And there's an animal kingdom. And so you just, there must have been. Are you arguing dominance? No, I'm not. I'm just saying. There must have been something. There was a more intense show of dominance and a posture of dominance going into your tiny windowless office. And farting in it and leaving.

It really is. It's, it is the pinnacle of a male dominance in a construction workplace. Anyway. Well, cause at least they're not, cause you know what it would be, or truce your own dominance? Pinning them down and sticking things up as s. Like if they really wanted to do it. Like that's what happened to me and it's not good, Henry. That's what I'm saying.

Well, I got farted on all the time. You got farted on all the time? Yeah. So this is personal. This is personal? Yeah. I was wondering why Marcus was coming at us so hard. Yeah.

So explain your story. It's not so much fun to get farted on all the time. What's your story? My brothers. They used to hold me down and fart on me constantly. Well, that's what brothers do. And also the kids at school would fart all the time as well. There's all kinds of farting everywhere.

Everyone's just going around. I was like, oh, Marcus just a little fart magnet, didn't he? Oh, Marcus just loves to get farted on, didn't he? It's not fun. Honestly. I'm crying. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you were abused.

I'm sorry that you were the kid that got farted on all the time. We all knew the kid that got farted on all the time. I just didn't know I was best friends with him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The little one always gets farted on. Small child. Look how mentally strong you've become.

You're doing great. Yeah. That is true. The pack educates. The pack can educate. It can motivate. Because look who you're a small business owner. But we're powered by a fucking fart spike.

But weren't there only like 11 kids in your class? Yeah. And they were all just fart on you? Well, there was like a whole, but not all of them would fart on me. But you know, the entire elementary school, you know each other. You know, every kid, there's like 50 kids in the whole elementary school. Maybe 70. They would just walk by and crop dust you?

Yeah, just farts. There's just farts. Does it have anything to do with you being Marcus Farts? Well, that was definitely a nickname. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, Marcus Farts.

See, this is before we learned at the time, because the way you incorporate it's like why, when people used to make fun of my weight, and then I just incorporated it into my quote-unquote act with kids. And then you just, you make, oh, look, I'm fat. And then they laugh with you. And then that's how you fix it. Where you were like, next one, do it in my mouth. And they would stop farting on you.

Yeah. No, my, actually my older brother, I'm not sure if he would want me to say this, but it's fine. His name is actually Bartholomew. His name is actually Bartholomew. And so, of course, it was Bart for short, and he went by Bart the Fart. Yeah. And it traumatized him, or he didn't go by Bart the Fart.

Yeah. They called him Bart the Fart, and it traumatized him so much he switched to his middle name, Eric. Oh. He's been Eric ever since I was nine years old. Oh. So I understand. Bart is a hard name.

Yeah. I know. It's biblical. My parents did not think it out at all. You know. Bartholomew, Christopher, and Benjamin, all tribes of Israel, I think. I can't keep up. Oh, yeah.

I know. Marcus can be hard, too. You got Mucous. That's just right off the fucking top. Mucous Farts? Yeah, Mucous Farts. Oh, you got it hard, buddy. It's all, the picture is being painted.

Yeah. Of course, I was a huge giant, and so that did not help whatsoever. It also overweight, so. How about just being chased on the street and called Free Willy? I didn't have a funny name. It was no funny name. I was just chased down the street. I was just literally just beaten up and called Fat Kid.

And hey, you're fat. At least you still had those sweet abs and that butt and those arms of yours. The drummer body that you got. At least you got a good body. No, not back then. See, back then, I was five to six inches shorter, but still had the same size hands and feet that I have now, which are already too big for the body that I have. But you put those on someone that's like five, five, five, four.

Woo! Literally, you're the loveland frog, man. Isn't that so exact, Farts? So exact, Farts. Yeah. Wow. I'm really sorry I didn't know that we stepped on a psychological minefield here. No, I didn't know that either.

Now I'm thinking about all the times I was bullied in them. If you're bullied out there, hang in there. Yeah. Hang in there. And if you are bullying people, unless it's really, really funny, no. But just be trying to be nice. Kids are mean. Kids are mean.

Kids are mean. That's what they do. My dad's advice was real. It's like sometimes with the bully, you got to punch them in the mouth. They are really like you have to fight the bullies. If you're bullied, you have to come at the bully. You have to make a prison for them. For me, it was like Gulliver's Travel, so there's like 40 of them.

Yeah. Because it was the little one that got all of them. It was horrible. Hey, little spears. Like all sticking into your legs. Still traumatized forever. But you know what, we're making up for it now. Yeah, I just learned the skill of psychologically traumatizing insults.

See? Yeah, yeah. And then they just went away eventually. Yeah, that'll plug those butts right out. Absolutely. I guess I'll save these farts for home then. I'll never fart again. But you know there was someone who really had a bad home life, and the only thing they

gave them joy was farting on you. Think about that. I was well aware. I figured out the psychology behind it pretty young age. At least my father doesn't beat me. Never went that far. No, that's good. I think it's because all of our fathers beat us.

We didn't really have that leg up. Fly from your grave. Fly from your grave. But Henry, you were saying that on our Schumacher episode with Joseph Callinger. Shoemaker. Schumacher, someone totally different. I know. I was just trying to say it in a fun accent.

Let me take you. Shoemaker. Joe Callinger was a very interesting man, and we covered him for two weeks. And it was harrowing for many, entertaining for us. I am not scared by Joseph Callinger anymore. But the thing is now it's walking around. Same thing with the reason why Mark David Chapman haunted Marcus and I so specifically, because these guys are just walking around.

And they look normal, but they are having full on vivid hallucinations of your murder while you're walking down the street. I'm not trying to make you paranoid, but sometimes it's healthy to be paranoid. But what I didn't, we forgot to include in the last episode, we didn't forget. It was just, we didn't, we didn't pile it into the information as that Joseph Callinger left a series of poems, a four-floretta Schreiber that I would love to read in the voice of Joseph Callinger so you could see more of his interior dialogue. Now, I've had a lot of people ask me to question this week of why does Joseph Callinger sound

like Bernie Sanders? Right. And the answer is I do not know. Okay. When it comes to building a voice, I don't know if it's interesting to talk about the quote-unquote process of the work. But when it comes to making a voice sometimes for me, it was when I saw the picture, I didn't see the early picture of Joe Callinger's.

I didn't see the younger ones. I only saw the ones when he was post jail, when he had the big beard. And the first thing that came to my mind, which is how I sometimes do this, is like, it looks like if Bernie Sanders was an offensive lineman. And I wanted to, so I just went that way before. And so that's just what you do. And then it slowly turned into Tony Clifton because the accent slides because I'm not Darrell fucking Hammond.

All right. There it is. Inside the podcasters workshop. Very interesting. Because like LRH, I try to do an impression of LRH because there's so much of his voice that is recorded so you can hear it. You know, like Charles Manson, it's funny to just make him sound like a Desert Spider. Like you make him sound all crazy.

And then there are certain ones that there's no, you know, like, and then Panzram spoke for itself, right? Because he's just fucking a big jacked, horny, powerful man. Yep. Yep. Absolutely. American legend. Kind of.

Yeah. And boy rapist. Yeah. That's right. Played by James Woods in a movie. That, honestly, James Woods before, James Woods Twitter is, it's phenomenal. I wouldn't say it's phenomenal. I would say it's awful.

Yeah. It's really fucking terrible. It's one of the reasons I don't go on Twitter. Yeah. Because all, it's old people that ruined it once again. Baby boomers. Baby boomers. As a matter of fact, baby boomers ruined, they managed to ruin Twitter.

Everything. They managed to ruin everything they touch. I know we have some baby boomer listeners out there. Of course. Of course. Good ones. Yeah. You're one of the good ones.

Just don't ruin podcasts, please. So anyway. That's our job. Yeah. That's what we're going to do. So you got some poems from Callinger here that you want to, that you want to read. And I just have to ask, what do we got as far as poetry? We got BTK was a poet.

Yes. BTK was a poet. David Berkowitz was a poet. Berkowitz. Now my question, this is actually for Marcus and I don't really know, because this is the time period where it seemed like they encouraged them to write poetry to express themselves. Well, I know that Dennis Rader always wrote poetry. He wrote poetry for the first time when he first got a hold of the police, when what was

a Shirley locks, I think was the name of his first bond that he worked on for weeks and weeks and weeks before he sent it in. And then when he finally did send it in to the Wichita Eagle, they just threw it in the crankpile because he, they thought that it was a Valentine because it was right around Valentine's Day. And he didn't include any money to put it in the classifieds or like this guy's fucking nuts, just put it in the crankpile who gives a shit. But I think it's just, it's an easy way to express yourself.

It doesn't take much talent to write poetry. It takes an enormous amount of talent to do poetry well. Yes. And when you do poetry well, like it's, you know, it's absolutely, it's astonishingly beautiful when poetry is done well. But sometimes. A little asshole can just write a couple of lines and call poetry. Sometimes it becomes very like outsider artie, right?

Where you can be so crazy, you write incredible poetry because just your kind of the way your mind works as a word jumble, you're creating these crazy pictures or, or evocating, evoking certain emotions in a very specific way. But it seems like this is also the time period where a lot of the mental health way they dealt with, especially with killers, is that it was them just like weaving baskets in a room. It's like that shit all Thorzined out, like doing crafts. Right. So this is a poem called The Unicorn in the Garden.

Ooh, Joseph Callinger, The Unicorn in the Garden. When I was a little boy, I adopted parents and unsteamed, killed a unicorn in my garden. The nightingale died too, and the lilacs and roses perished. I wanted to be an actor, playing with a unicorn in my garden. But they said, you will be a shoemaker, like a father. Dumb cough. And if you don't, you will be a bum. So I grew up in my adoptive father's shop, hearing the cutting of leather, smelling the

odor of glow, my music, the warring of machines, idiots to light, exiles on the street. Isolated from other children. I lived among shrews and knives and hammers. Alone, unloved, unloved, I learned to shape souls, replace heels, draw out mouths. My own soul was hidden from me by the shop's dead world, a robot to their will. I died with the unicorn in my garden. Honestly, I don't- That's not bad.

No, it's actually kind of good. It's kind of strangely moving. It is. No, that's not bad at all, really. I mean, as far as Zero Killer poetry goes, I mean, it's definitely better than David Berkowitz's poem about the F train. It is. Oh, yeah, that's very true.

But is it less geographically correct? Yeah. You know, one thing we didn't mention in the episode was Joseph Cowlinger's obsession with butterflies. Really? Yes. He had a deep fascination with butterflies from a small child that he imagined that he himself was a butterfly.

That was one of his early delusions. Of course, I mean, there was a lot that we had to leave out of the episode. Otherwise, it would have been five fucking parts long. Right. But really, if you really want to get- I recommend The Shoemaker. The Shoemaker is such a great, true crime book, just so long as you just kind of gloss over all of Flora Shriver's, I would say, like, lazy psychological-

Well, just ancient. They're ancient psychological breakdowns. Yeah. And this is a poem he wrote- this is a poem he wrote about Charlie. Can I do one here just to contrast that? Because Dennis Rader truly sucks at poetry. He's the worst. So this is a poem that we did read just to con-

Because honestly, that- the unicorn in the garden working- he did one- Maybe he did want to be an actor. He did. I mean, obviously, again, Joseph Cowlinger is a horrible, horrible- Nothing can explain away what he did. No. Yeah, but this is Dennis Rader. Oh, death-

You did this. You did this in the live show. I know. What is this that I can see? Cold, icy hands taking hold of me? For death has come. You all can see. Hell has opened.

It's gate to trick me? Oh, death. Oh, death. Can't you spare me for another year? I'll stuff your jaws till you can't talk. I'll bind your legs till you can't walk. I'll tie your hands till you can't make a stand. And finally, I'll close your eyes so you can't see.

I'll bring sexual death onto you for me. That is so much worse- It's awful. Than Callinger. Oh, yeah, and that was a rip- It was a rip-off of the old folk song, Oh Death. That's what Rayer wrote is because he, after the Otero murders, his first murder spree, in which he killed four people in one afternoon,

he started taking classes in criminal justice at Wichita State University. That's right. So he could essentially become a better serial killer. So he could learn the craft. Fucking hate him. Yeah, he's the worst because he chose to be a serial killer, more than anyone else. He chose to be a serial killer.

Crazy. And he essentially started taking literature classes. He read Oh Death in one of his classes and decided, yep, that's the one I'm going to do. That's the one that I'm going to copy. It's so- Great, weird owl cover. Really good stuff.

So bad. All right. I'll read this one last poem about Charlie. He's after me, riding air currents like an angry balloon, floating his long hands putter in front, curled back at the sides, his mean brown eyes sterically, pinned me to the wall where I wriggle. I cannot free myself from Charlie.

He has no body and below his eyes his face-to-face is just a tight tissue of skin wrapped around jaw bones, rounding in a fleshy chin. That's just the face. I cannot free myself from Charlie. But hey, last writer. He rides Thunderbolts in hell with the devil sings doom songs through his mouth.

His face then comes to me with bloody instructions. His favorite word is kill. But Charlie is real, like you and me. And someday I'm going to waste him. Someday I'm going to kill him. Someday I'm going to punch him with a knife. He'll shrivel like an airless balloon. But maybe Charlie's going to kill me first.

At night, I lie with one eye open. I cannot free myself from Charlie. It's scary. Yeah, once again, very good. It's a totally different style. It's like a horror poetry. And that's the dismembered head that would compel him to kill that he just wrote a poem about?

Uh-huh. Well, I wouldn't say that Charlie necessarily compelled him to kill. He delivered instructions sometimes, but mostly he was there for encouragement. He wasn't telling him to stop. No, that's for damn, shouldn't it? When Callinger committed his third murder, yeah, Charlie was screaming for him to stab her again,

stab her again, stab her again. But I would say Charlie was more there to assist the delusions that Callinger believed were coming from God. Well, you know, sometimes, I mean, artists... Like an archangel. Like an archangel. Artists' minds, you know, we can go either way. To be a true creative, you kind of got to be a little whack-a-noodle.

And I think BTK proves that, as Marcus just said, he was not crazy. No. He was doing all of this on purpose. Callinger, just by the quality of his poems, I think he might have been... Well, I know, he was absolutely nuts. Yeah, he was.

Well, Dennis Rader was just such a loser. Yeah. And he did all of this. He constructed his whole identity. Nothing was on accident because there was no real him. No. Right, right. Oh, and the puns.

Yeah. The puns. Oh, my God. Fly from your way. Fly from your way. All right, so Marcus, you wanted to talk about something on this episode. Yeah. Okay.

And obviously I know exactly what it is. In no way did I forget what you wanted to talk about. This is a perfect, a perfect tease and set up. Well, I was trolling through some of the conspiracy message boards this week. Good work. Thank you very much. Well, and I came upon a post from 2015. Okay.

A good old fashioned Illuminati update. Yeah. Illuminati update. And this is what conspiracy used to be. Like 2015 was kind of when it, 2015 was around the time the conspiracy, the conspiracy bowl kind of tipped over into the mainstream. Yes. This is back when, this is back when conspiracy was truly fucking nuts and truly fun.

This is before people like took it literally and seriously when Alex Jones was just asking questions. I'm just asking questions here. I got it. Before people ask, okay, you're going to get it. Well, the Illuminati update has a little bit to say about Alex Jones. All right, all right. Well, the Illuminati update, it was originally posted on anonymous mags, which no longer

exists. It is now a clickbait site. But it was written by a guy who had gotten out of the Illuminati after 47 years in service and he was able to leave through the departure ritual. Okay. The departure ritual is, I eventually found out after a little bit of digging, is that when you tell the Illuminati, I want to leave, what they do is they bring you in front of the council, they bring your entire family in, and then they murder them in front of

you. Got to. Really? And then after that, they do mind experiments on you for about a year. And then they throw you in a hole underneath Denver, Colorado. I'll just stay. Like, guys, I honestly, I didn't even realize what would be, what would be entailed in me trying to leave.

I like the Illuminati. Okay. I like my family. This is fine. But they, the idea is that this is also where the conspiracy theories come about the Denver airport, right? Which is essentially they are constantly under construction because they're constantly hiding the bodies of Illuminati defectors.

Right. Whoever designed the Denver airport definitely was like, with any luck, people will think this is for and made by the Illuminati. They have the horse, the Denver Bronco, that is outside of that stadium at night, the eyes light red. Yeah, it's great. It makes you feel like you're going into Mordor or something. It's cool.

It's shit. But this guy said that he was recruited into the Illuminati when he was 19 years old after he had gotten approached by a couple of men in black suits when he was a student at Harvard. Why didn't we get this shit? Why didn't nobody come to try to scoop us up? You seriously, they want to get tall goof, they want fart boy and free willy? We're not in the mix. That's the fucking, we're the best B team in the world.

We're the Expendables. Oh, you think the Illuminati was monitoring the Florida State University Theater program? I mean, we want the fat one in the dashiki, bring him to us. We need a new man for the Wanda movement, like for me to go to Africa. Oh yeah, and with me, they were definitely keeping an eye on the Texas Tech University English department. Yeah. Because if there's one thing Texas Tech is known for, it's English.

Yeah. Exactly. What's the one that's super tall and just drunk enough to fall over but never does? This guy escaped from Denver Airport through a series of underground tunnels that were shown to him by a fellow defector because the fellow defector, his great-grandfather, had built those tunnels. Cool. This is great.

This is a great movie. Yeah, it's an amazing movie. It's great. So what this guy has done, him and the seven others, all escaped. They all got new identities and this man who escaped in June of 2010, he is risking his life to tell us the secrets of the Illuminati. Yes. And this is just on web forums.

Yeah, this is just on web forums. Cool. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. It wasn't published anywhere. Was this one of those ones that was leaked on a B chain? Like back then?

It was not B. No, no, no. It wasn't back in the old days of 4chan and all that. Now this was on Anonymous Mags. Okay. Yeah. Well, this guy says that there are 57 underground bases and bunkers around the United States that are used for Illuminati purposes, but there are 439 bunkers all over the entire world with the largest one existing in São Paulo, Brazil.

Yeah. Holds. Yep. So far, yes. Yeah. I've seen all of it. I've seen the reading, yes. So that bunker is able to hold up to 5,000 people for a period of up to 10 years, because

of course, when World War III comes, all the world's leaders got to have somewhere to go. Got to. Got to. And all the world's richest people are going to be there as well. Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Oil Tycoons, they're all going to be living in this bunker with their families. They deserve that and their tax breaks for how well they've done for the U.S. economy. Oh yeah.

Thank you. Can you imagine the farts in that Buffett Gates? Yeah, because Buffett constantly brags about how the only food he eats is Egg McMuffins from fucking McDonald's. I mean, like, what do your khakis smell like at the end of the month? Fake egg shits. Oh, but one thing about the Oil Tycoons is that they will be murdered in the bunker. They will.

Yeah, so that the takeover of the Middle East will be much easier for the New World Order. Oh, well, then they better not go. Yeah. But I guess they don't know that. They don't know that. This guy knows that, but they don't know that. Oh. It's like one of those.

It's the, it is the, what's the term, like in the mob, when they do the thing where it's like you think you're about to go get made, like they're like, hey, no, we got to meet Joey out here. It's like, oh, by the docks. Yeah. I mean, like, why are we going to the docks? I thought that all the maid guys go to the 88 Club and just like, nah, this is a, it's special.

Oh, shit, I killed them now. Yeah. Yeah, that would be, I don't think that's good. I think it's better if you don't trick them like that. Yeah. I would be just like, honestly, if you were going to kill me, don't make me think that I was going to get made. I was so excited.

Yeah. And now I'm going to die. It looks so disappointed. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I mean, if you get shot in the back of the head, you at least die with a smile on your face. There you go.

Either way. Oh, by the way, these bunkers, this guy that wrote the article, he was in one of these bunkers in China in the 90s, and he said that's pretty much like staying at a five-star hotel. Oh, so why would he even escape? Well, no, this was before he decided to leave the Illuminati. This is in the Illuminati. Yeah, this is when he was in the Illuminati, because remember, he was in the Illuminati

for 47 years. Okay. What? You want to hear some of the other people that have stayed in these bunkers over the years? These five-stars? Yeah. These five-star bunkers?

Yes. Leon Trotsky stayed in a bunker for a while. Of course he did. Did he die? When did he die? Oh, these bunkers have been around for a while. Must have been. Yeah.

When the hell did he die? That was a long-ass time ago. 30s? 40s? Yeah, must have been, right? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. I mean, he didn't he get stabbed with an ice pick in Mexico?

Yeah, Mexico. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He died in 1940. Yeah, 1940. Now, after Stalin defeated Trotsky in secure power in the Soviet Union after Lenin's death, Trotsky was moved to an underground bunker just inside Switzerland. When Stalin didn't know this, because if he did not follow the orders of the Illuminati, then Trotsky was going to be reinstated as the leader of the Soviet Union.

Ooh. And it was important to have Trotsky placed in this bunker because Stalin was going to kill him otherwise. Now, Stalin eventually fell in line with the Illuminati's plans, and Trotsky was executed because he was no longer needed. Okay. He was at, he was at, he was insurance in case Stalin didn't fall in line. It's like, all right, then we'll kill Stalin, put Trotsky back in his place.

But Stalin fell in line and he just killed Trotsky. Can you imagine how annoying that would be though? Just to be stuck with Trotsky in a five-star hotel is just trying to like, unionize everything and just like, just be- Was it like the second act of, what is it, that Frida Kahlo movie? I didn't see it. Just about that? Yeah, it's going to be like, Mexico Hotel that they were all at, where they all, and

it was like everybody that you loved and that you could name from the 1930s that was like a famous artist just all hanging around, drinking weird like cafe leches and just, and just, and pontificating and then slowly getting picked off one by one. I imagine hanging out with Trotsky all day would get pretty tiresome. Oh, I think so. The same thing about Neil Young. I think the same thing about Neil Young. I love Neil Young.

Yeah. But I never want to meet him. No. Never because I just think- You know it's all about him yelling about his sky miles, yelling about his fucking how he needs new shoes, about how he hates SoundCloud because they don't have any music, it's just like each new thing that, because you start off being like, man, it's so cool to be with you today, man.

It's just so fun to hang out with Neil Young, man, and he's like, my feet hurt. Yeah. No, honestly, I do think that Neil Young would talk about the benefits of Velcro shoes. I mean, like, and he would just be like, I was so dumb for so long, I was just using the ties. Look at the Velcro shoes. I think those are nice Velcro shoes, Mr. Young, to make a good point. You just lean over and you just slap them together.

You don't have to take the minutes out of your day to tie them. That reminds me of a song, minutes of the day tying shoes. You got to hear all my new music today, buddy. Mr. Young, what inspired the song Old Man? Do you have, did, was it, I know it's a great song about you taking over someone's farm because you had a lot of money and you kind of kicked them off of their farm, but. It was about ruining old people's lives and now that I am an old person, I see just existing does that.

I'm going to go hang out with David Krause, okay? You know who else was in a bunker for a while? Well, let me guess. A politician, celebrity? Politician. Politician? What era? We're going to say way back.

Way back. Taft. Taft. President? George Washington. No. Not too far back. An American president?

American president. Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. I was going to say that as a joke. Yeah. Well, actually, Henry, you already read it. No, I didn't.

No. Okay, good. Abraham Lincoln. No, I don't think Honest Abe would be a part of the Illuminati. Lincoln was not murdered by John Wilkes Booth. He was placed in the office of the presidency as a palm, because the Illuminati knew that if he was put in the presidency, then the South would secede, because the Civil War made the Illuminati very, very rich, and that was the only reason why the Civil War was

allowed to happen. The Illuminati had not seen the opportunity to become rich off of the war, then slavery would still be an American institution, or so this man says. And so Lincoln was put in office to start the war, and he made the deal that once the war was over, he would be removed from office. That's why Lincoln was out of there as soon as the war was done. They did the fake assassination, and Abraham Lincoln was sent to live in a bunker in Mexico. So it was a fake assassination.

Fake assassination. False flag. It was a false flag. False flag. Well, I don't know if that's technically a false flag. I guess a false flag is an actual action done. It was just fate, which is, it just seems like a lot of work. It could be.

It could be a false flag, because the murdering of Abraham Lincoln definitely led to the punitive measures that were placed on the South during Reconstruction, which of course benefited the Illuminati. And obviously none of this is real. See how easy it is? I don't understand how easy it is. None of this is real. But also, John Wilkes Booth, who would you get to work on something that is false?

An actor. He was an actor. He was the first crisis actor. Do you people see how easy it is? And it started with actually having Shakespearean training. See, that's how I think one of these crisis actors don't have the same training as they used to. And it's a part of the falling down of conspiracy culture, is that it took the time to put these

crisis actors into, I mean, conservatories, something where they can really play different characters, whether you could put a beard on him and he could look something different. They could really blend in, make him a lady. Yeah. So I don't know why you would put a beard on him and then make him a lady. How good of an actor can you be? Can you act away around your own beard and show off the tits using your words? Honestly, yeah, that's a good point.

We talked about this on Abling and Stop At this week. Alex Jones has recanted all of his false flag stuff and all of his crisis actor stuff. Yeah, he said he was in a psychosis. He really did. He was in a psychosis for three years. Because he said he was traumatized by the media. Yeah, because he was traumatized by the media. So anyway, so all those people that he convinced that he was, that were convinced he was telling

the truth. Yeah. Once again, folks, do not believe Alex Jones. But Giselle, he immediately shifted back. He went right back onto, because then he had Joe Rogan on Infowars and he does this whole, like he goes to court and says, I am, oh, this is like, I'm crazy, I'm crazy. But then he goes right back on Infowars. He's like, so crazy, I'm sane.

And then he just says the same shit again and again. He's a monster. This man right here that wrote the article, he's got a little bit to say about Alex Jones. He said, Alex Jones is not who he says he is. For years, Jones has been working to uncover the secrets of the Illuminati in the New World Order, right? Sure. But in reality, he is a member of the former and will be in power in the latter.

Of course. No, that makes no sense. And he's been placed there to feed false information to throw trackers off the trail. Do not believe anything that the man tells you. That's what this Illuminati member says. There is nothing more fun than conspiracy theorists arguing with other conspiracy theorists. Bill Cooper and Alex Jones actually had one of the best feuds in radio history. And they're both crazy, although Bill Cooper, I will say this, not as nefarious as Alex

Jones. I think Bill Cooper. Good intentions. Obviously, you get what you want in life, and I think you wanted to be shot by the police. Yeah, I did, man. It's the ultimate conspiracy theorist's way to go out, dude. That's what you want. He got it, and he made it for himself, and he got it.

But they are all a fucking mess. But I actually believe that. That's one of those where I love seeing the conspiracy theorist lens shift to their own people. It always happens. They always cannibalize themselves like a bunch of other Democrats. And as soon as he, because it's not on him, because it's true. You're the one who fucking your friends with the president.

I never understand any of these conspiracy theories that are going on now, saying that the president is a vulnerable, powerless, like he can't do anything, and he's fighting for the truth. We're legitimately always, the president's always on the opposite side of what is happening, because they know enough. They are the information chief of the, that's their whole thing, is to spread their message and unify the government, that's what they're supposed to do. There's nobody more inside than the fucking president.

That's the great irony about Trump, because I don't know why presidents ever leave the White House. It's a political nerd. I would be like, I'm just going to stay, go in every room. And the thing is, Trump doesn't even take the meetings anymore. Usually if president wakes up around seven, eight o'clock, you got your generals in there. He doesn't even do those. They give him a portfolio full of pictures, and that's his, he doesn't even have the,

he doesn't have a thirst for knowledge. So, technically, he doesn't know anything. We have no problem. Kind of. Yeah, technically. Now, but you know, if you're a believer in QAnon, then that's because Trump has spent an all of his time working with Robert Mueller, in conjunction with the military, to take down the New World Order that is run by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton.

Of course. And George Soros. Yeah, the QAnon stuff is getting particularly fucking nuts lately. Well, what's his name? A guy flashed a Q. I forget which shooting that he just did. I have this story here. So are we good with the conspiracy theory? Oh, I mean, there's plenty more to get through.

Well, you can, but we get, I mean, this is, I mean, we're just generally talking about conspiracy theories, you know, where it used to be, where it is now. So, and we can, let's continue talking about conspiracy theories, and then let's talk, just kind of ties into this true crime story. This fella, he's a 24-year-old guy, his name is Anthony Camelo. He was a big believer in far-right conspiracy theories like QAnon. And of course, he also had a bit of an oxy-contin habit. Weird.

Yeah, sometimes I still have an answer. Which is the chicken and which is the egg in that scenario. I don't know, but he shot this mob boss, this fella Callie, who was 53 years old. This used to be just a straight up, I thought it was just a straight up hit. No, I mean, I don't. You're talking about the mob head out in Staten Island? Yeah. Really?

He flashed a Q. As soon as he got in court, he drew a Q on his hand as a message to, I guess, to 4-chan or to his followers or some shit. Yeah, I really don't know, but he, so he was born and raised in Staten Island, South Shore. He's accused of gunning down Gambino crime family leader Francisco Frankie Boy Callie. They always sound like boxers. Always. Francisco Frankie Boy Callie on a quiet street in Taut Hill last week.

The shooting rocketed Mr. Kamalo in otherwise unsensational young man who was struggling to launch his adult life into true crime infamy. This dude Callie was shot 10 times and the police have not explained how Mr. Kamalo even crossed into Mr. Callie's orbit, let alone why he allegedly decided to kill him. Well, whatever the motive, the Gambino crime family has not been forgiving and it looks like this guy is going to, he's facing life and he will be looking at life in prison and it looks like it's probably not going to be a very long life in prison because the Gambino crime family has some people on the inside.

Yeah. What I had read about was that the word is that it was a very domestic shooting, is that it was a dude, he, the guy that shot him was trying to date his daughter and he said no and that this guy just flipped out essentially. He put the clamp down saying you can't date my daughter and this is over and then he just, you just cut right through like a hot knife through butter where it's like if you're not a maid man and you're not some kind of like goon for the mafia, you're not on any of their lists.

So he just showed up and he was outside the house, he walked out of the house and he shot him 10 times. And so he is writing Q on his hand in court now? He's big into QAnon, he's big into all these far right conspiracies so a lot of people were like does that tie into the killing but maybe it doesn't at all. So it was just a Romeo and Juliet type situation huh? But he used the opportunity to show off for Q. To show off for Q, okay because I was afraid it was going to be one of those things where

he had some sort of delusion where this guy was a mob boss and the mob boss is related to the entire, what is it, the New World Order that was doing all the pedophile rings and all that stupid shit like it's. The pedophile rings and the pizza joint and they don't even let you have dogs and pizza places but sure a pedophile ring is fine. And now the last QAnon update that I read was that they actually have already executed Hillary Clinton. Oh she's gone now?

Oh yeah that she's executed and Barack Obama is being held on an island somewhere, yeah QAnon is, I mean it is getting bigger and bigger and bigger and it is getting more and more and more followers like I watched a video a couple days ago where there was a guy with a video camera at a Trump rally and he had written Make Noise for QAnon on just a sign. Was it the black dude? Huh? Was it the famous black dude? I don't know if it was, no no it was just a guy that had written Make Noise for Q on

a sign at Trump rally and he went, it's a 20 minute long video of him going down the line and just everybody's like, Q yeah, fuck yeah, Q, the people are fucking into it. They're excited to yell. Yeah they are, I'm not going to say that we should ever do this. There's a lot of racial reasons why and there's a lot of systemic issues in this country but a poll test when it comes to voting and the only question is do you believe in Q? If the answer is yes, I understand we have a constitution but it's just, their vote matters too and that's kind of scary.

You know what we say? We say follow up questions. Follow up questions. So this dude that killed the Gambino crime family member, he made rambling statements and evidently this is according to John Miller, the chief of the New York police department's intelligence division. He said he wanted to make a citizen's arrest of Maxine Waters, Congressman Schiff, he blamed Nancy Pelosi and all kinds of other people for stealing the election which I'm assuming

is the midterm election. The motivation for Mr. Carmelo's February stunt became clearer Monday when he was arraigned in New Jersey court as he entered the courtroom he raised open a palm where he had Q scrolled on it. You can look at it here, it's not nearly as neat as Richard Ramirez's pentagram. It looks like there's quite a few other doodles on that hand as well that aren't quite so clear. But that's the weird thing, I know we've gotten a couple of comments here and they're

from people saying that we're talking about politics on the show but the thing is that we've been talking about conspiracy for 10 years now. It just so happens that conspiracy is now a part, such a gigantic part of American politics. But on his hand we say it says United we stand, mega forever and mega forever. Good for him. I guess that's good but part of it is it's weird, it's weird that it's become a part of the mainstream, it's so mainstream that we can't even talk about it anymore because we're supposed to be talking about fringe topics and you're talking about queuing on

and they take it so deadly seriously that it's hard to broach it because we're now in the world of it's becoming a real conspiracy because of how many people are talking about it. We're generating the reality of it every single time it's brought up. Every single time he flashes the cue, every time he does the stuff, it basically makes it realer and realer and realer but it's really just more deeply connecting a group of people that are, they are just ruining their own lives trying to chase the sense of what's happening right now.

So trying to like piece it all together, you really think Barack Obama's got time to fucking to run the deep state? He's got movies to produce. He's a producer and we know, what do we know about producers? All they do is work, work, work. So busy. He certainly wasn't just put an Obama stamp on a bunch of shit and then leave but I really don't understand.

You know, that's where I am better at being like, so we are all now struggling to try to fix this country or do whatever and Barack Obama has decided to go make content for Netflix like every other fucking, like every one of us is what we're doing. But did you guys know that the moon landing in 1969 was real? What? What? But it was not the first moon landing because seven years earlier the Russians actually landed on the moon but they kept that with a secret because that was really just a test

because it was the Illuminati's plan to have the capitalists win the Cold War. But the Russians had the same technology that we had but they sent the Russians there first to make sure that the Americans could actually do it. So they were our test dummy? Like our, what was that? Oh, we're all working together. There are crash test dummies? Well that's what they, this is the whole Russian revisionism of all conspiracy theory.

This is this weird thing that we're in this other spot where Russians did everything. They did Roswell. They did Randall Schimpf Forest. They did everything. They actually did it. We did nothing. We just quote, we observe, we freak out and we take credit for. And we do not, it's a very strange, almost like, I wonder, I saw a talk by a KGB officer

a long time ago that he was on YouTube and he was talking about how we had, and this was in the 1990s and he said, we have already deeply infiltrated the United States of America in terms of changing, shifting the thought from the inside out of the, this concept of essentially flipping American exceptionalism, like doing that thing where we start to really doubt our ability and you slowly hack away at our ability to take care of ourselves and excel, like understanding that we can take care of everybody, vilifying socialism from within so much that we don't want to take care of anybody anymore. And all we do is shovel money up to less and less people and then we have nothing and eventually

we are just going to be ground into food for the rich. But Henry, how nice is it to give? They say giving is better than receiving and what are we doing if we're not giving? Yeah. That makes us feel so good. Doesn't it feel good? It feels great. It feels good.

I feel like, yeah, we're giving so much, so many weapons. We're giving a lot of weapons, which I think is really great. I think that's important, I guess, that's a part of our economy. Well speaking of capitalism, without capitalism we would never have one of the greatest inventions of all time, which is the telephone. Also without capitalism we would never have one of the greatest cartoons of all time, which is Garfield. I understand you're right, Marcus is actually wearing a Garfield shirt.

And evidently in France these two things are combined and Garfield phones have been washing up on the shores, but like a lot of them. It's been very strange, the French coastal community has finally cracked the mystery behind these Garfield telephones that have plagued its picturesque beaches for decades. Since the 1980s, the... it's all words, it's all letters in French you're not supposed to say. I-R-O-I-S-E, coast in Brittany has received the supply of bright orange landline novelty phones shaped like a famous cartoon cat.

They keep washing up and it's been going on since the 80s. These kinds of these weird ass, the Garfield phones keep landing on the beach and they've been trying to clean it up. So last year, campaigners from the Air Vélançois anti-liter group made the novelty phone a symbol of the plastic pollution on the beaches of the Phéniastere region, part of which is a designated marine park. Now once a common household item, its eyes open when the landline receivers picked up. You guys ever have a Garfield phone?

Oh yeah. I always wanted one, I did love them. Never had one. My brother had a full Garfield themed room until he was 16 or 15 and then one weekend it was all RuPaul and Delight posters. They went from Jim Davis posters and Garfield posters, Jim Davis actually signed a letter to my brother Eric. It was very nice.

It's very nice. It's really nice. And then Eric said, I want to be an adult now and then he got into RuPaul and I used to think she was quite attractive and she didn't. That's that. That's that. But for a long time they thought, well maybe there was some kind of suspected that there was a long lost shipping container and they couldn't find it but they kind of figured

out where it would possibly happen. The media attention on the news and the new campaign however drew the eye of a local farmer who remembered the first Delipon Garfield appearing after a storm in the early 1980s. So it sounds like the beginning of a weird crossover between Jim Davis and Stephen King. Storm that all these things are showing up. And he said he knew the location of the container. He's like, you really have to know the area where he told France info which had covered the campaign.

We found the container, a ground in a fissure. It was open. Many of these things were grown. But there still was a stack of ferns. Do you love that you are turning into Charles Inge? It is. Well, a French version of Charles Inge. But they found it.

They found a shipping container launched in a bunch of rocks. So they got it. So no more. But they can't get at it. They said basically they can see it. It is this thing has managed to insinuate itself down into a fissure and they can see it from the top of the fissure and it's still filled, it's got Garfield phones all the bottom of it.

Oh my God. And they just have to wait for them to dislodge all the way to come up. One local said, quote, it never stops. Oh, the invasion of the Garfield phones. No. Actually, this article is written really well. This article is written great. It's from the San Francisco Gate.

Just the first line is, year after year, he came. Jim Davis is by Katie Dowd at the San Francisco gate Lord Garfield's final revenge. I definitely had the Garfield phone. It worked. I kind of missed the landlines. We also had the that's not a football. That's a telephone, which sports illustrated once you got a subscription to sports illustrated you.

We get a football phone. I miss the good novelty landline phone. You know, that's the one thing with the cell phones. They all look the same. You get the gigantic novelty phone case now. Yeah, you get the big old phone cases, but you can't fit it in the pocket. And then why does the phone have to have cat ears? I don't know.

You could still get a landline. I know, but they still package it. They always they always do it. They always say, like, if you want the internet, you can have a landline and you get $5 off. I am scanning the walls of my apartment in my brain. I have to clean up some. I have to rub wipe off some some of the tomato sauce there, but I don't even think there's a plug in for it.

If you ever have you have one behind the couch, I know you have one behind the couch. I remember it. God, that's creepy. You know your apartment so well there for 15 years. I know. I remember you remember murder fist used to every night, 10 murder fist members would come and you know what they would do, Marcus, fart right and they would fart. Yes, they would fart.

Absolutely they would write, which also was like I had a lot of 40s involved with it. By the way, Henry, speaking of local Williamsburg, my area there, Hamoud, our deli guy died. I saw that post. That's incredibly sad. Yeah, he was so sweet. He was sweet. Yeah, when I was all dead broke, I would go in there on a Monday and be like, I don't got money until Friday and then be like, get whatever you want, pay on Friday if you

let me get beers and sandwiches and chips, whatever I wanted. No, he was so good to our whole group. We were always in there. He was so sweet. Oh, that's such a shame, man. I'm so glad. Well, you know, God, I wonder what he died of. Is it like deli cancer?

I don't know. I did not ask about that. No, no, I actually did ask. It was a heart attack. It happened out of the blue. He worked himself to death. He literally worked, oh man. Yeah, that is deli cancer, 12 hours a day, seven days a week.

At least, yeah. He was just awesome. Anyway, R.I.P., my man, Hamoud, and anyway, take care of yourself, folks. Don't work too hard. Yeah, get on the elliptical, man. Cardio is what keeps your heart strong. And if you like to sit, do what I got. I got a rower.

That's nice. You've been using it? Yeah. No, I actually haven't. You just sit on it, though. It's not just a chair. I know I've been rowing. I talked to my therapist.

I'm doing a lot of things. Nice. I'm doing a lot of things. That is great. All right. Marcus, thank you for coming in and sharing your illuminati knowledge. Yes, yes. Henry, great poetry.

It's not my poetry. It's Joseph Kalancher's poetry, so thank him. Yeah, and honestly, that was... And thank him for the material. Thank him for the two episodes of material. I guess we have to do that now. Do we have to thank the serial killers? We don't.

You gave us? We absolutely don't, no. Good. I'm just wondering if he's checking. No, no. That's a good check. And I don't think we have to. And I would prefer if we ran out of content, quite frankly.

That's the one thing about this life is that we will never run out of content. Sad, unfortunate. But if you want to be a subject that we cover on last podcast, no violence, find us an alien, find us a cryptid. Yeah. You do one of those two things and we will talk about you. And also send it to SideStoriesLPOTL at gmail.com. We always go through those letters.

This time it was just fun to talk about what we had prepared, but we love reading what you guys have to say and reading the letters on the air. It's so much fine to die. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Yeah. Live every day, man. Live every day.

Don't live every other day. No. You know what I mean? You don't get to do that. No, you don't get to. Unfortunately, you don't want to live on Tuesday. You got to. And they're going to make you live on Tuesday unless you stopped because then you can't go

to work. And that's all they care about anymore. Laugh. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Laugh like it's the first time you're seeing John Turturro in Brain Donors. We've seen that one. It does not hold up. That is a deep cut.

It is. It is. I've been thinking about it quite a bit. And love. Really? Love. It's for the way you look at me. It's L.

That's the letter. Break down the letters. Make them fucking make it up for yourself what the letters fucking stand for. Holy shit. You know, Gary Busey at least fills in all of his acronyms. Well, it's because he's got nothing else to do all day. He's got to build the acronyms. All right, everyone.

Thank you so much for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Again. I'm Augustellations. Hail me. If you would, thank you for listening again. Thank you.

Yes, thank you for listening. Thank you. If not for you.