Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 360: The Devils of Loudun Part I - Dr Silly

Episode Date: April 13, 2019

Join us as we explore the sexy local French drama that led to one of the more fascinating cases of supposed mass demonic possession ever recorded with part one of the Devils of Loudun. 

Man, I miss actors like Oliver Reed. When's the last time you've seen him in a movie, Kissel? I don't know who Oliver Reed is. Marcus, you know, Oliver Reed, the only way to describe him as, is a hangover with hair. It's like, back when you could, as an actor, you could literally just slug a thing or whatever. It's like Shanty's, like, boysenberry liqueur, like weird old school booze, and then show up this set being like, where's Lawrence, where's Austin, and then they just put him in place, they point him towards the camera, and then he just rocks it.

Absolutely. Well, with any luck, alcoholic acting will be back in vogue, and you'll be working your ass off. I can't wait. Because then you just let the broken capillaries do the work. Absolutely. It's good for the character. It's not that you're an alcoholic who doesn't want to see their family.

It's acting. It's acting. This is the last podcast on the left. I am Ben Kissel with Marcus Parks. Hey, Ben. Hello, Marcus. You're in beautiful New York City. And then, of course, we have actor Henry Zabrowski in Los Angeles.

Well, absolutely. I'm ready to perform. I have my pack of Winstons. I have an entire case of seagrams, and I am ready to recite the lines, and play, play. Now just tell me which one of these devices is the camera. Sir, you are in the bathroom, and that is a mirror. Well, then this is where I am then. Bring the cameras to me.

That's when actors really could be little terrorists. Unbelievable. OK, today's subject matter, and I know this is going to come as a big surprise. I have no idea what we're talking about. I literally am like, Henry told me, like, Monday, what we're going to talk about. I was like, yeah, of course, of course. So we will learn this together, audience. We are going to discuss.

We are going to discuss. Is he going to get it right? Let me see what he does. Let me see how he pronounces it. The Devils of Lodon. Whoa. Little Kissel French. The Devils of Lodon.

The Devils of Lodon. This is maybe one of the horniest stories we'll ever tell. Really? Oh, there is so much pussy juice in this story. You're going to need to get a canoe. That's great. Nothing I like more than dirt guy and Polish boy talking about vaginal juices. Scorched it out, miss.

Scorched it out. And coined by Aldous Huxley, the Devils of Lodon is the name given to about a 17th century mass hysteria that masqueraded as the demonic possession of 17 nuns in the small French town of Lodon. What really drives the story, though, as Henry said, is sex. Yeah, say it right, though. Say it right, though, dog meat. Really?

Just come on. What really drives the story, though, is sex. I honestly am less creeped out by that Marcy's Playground song, Sex and Candy, and I thought that was kind of a creepy song. But it's with a bunch of 17th century nuns, so I don't know what that smell is like. Yikes. Well, this is what Huxley wrote about it, over everything, like a rich, smelly fog hung in oppressive sexuality, thick enough to be cut with a knife, and ubiquitous, inescapable.

That is the worst analogy I have ever heard for the odor of intimacy. What is it? You know what it smells like. You know what it is. You know what the rich, smelly fog is. I just don't need it to be. I never once, like, talked to Brooke and be like, ooh, we got a real rich, sweaty fog in here today.

Smelly fog. Smelly fog. It's disgusting. It's not a cheese. That's because you're not a French romanticist. I guess not. Now while this story could certainly get bogged down in all sorts of historical details involving the restoration and Huguenots, and the upkeep of various French castles.

Honestly, it's very interesting if you do get into it. The Reformation's a very interesting time period. It's all extremely interesting stuff, but really this story, at its core, like most witch hunts, is about local drama that got completely out of hand. It's what we have Facebook for now. Right. It's like, because you know how Facebook, how many times does Facebook escalate to murder? We're seeing it again and again and again.

This is the same shit. But think about how juicy the story is as that this shit happened in what year, in 1600s. 1600s. And we are talking about it now. Wow. All right. Well, I don't think people will be talking about the Facebook feuds in 400 years that everyone in the Midwest is having right now with their neighbor.

Just go talk to your neighbor, OK? Well, Ed's been obsessed with the one old school Facebook friend of his that has had a stillborn child. Oh, my goodness. And it's just been posting pictures of the stillborn child, again and again and again, and then made the stillborn child her profile picture. Come on. That's terrorism.

Oh, people have lost their way. All right. But unlike many 17th century witch hunts, the witch victim, so to speak, was not a woman, but was rather a loudmouth, sarcastic, oversexed priest by the name of Urbein Grandier, who got into the pants of one too many penitents and talk shit about all the wrong people. You say oversexed, but it seems like he was chronically undersexed because he was constantly having sex. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, oversexed. No, undersexed means you don't want to have sex. That's low T. Undersex is like, get this pussy off of me, get this dick out of me. Undersex is like, bring in more shipments of, where's my truckload of vagina? Where are all my penises? Interesting.

So he was in roast mode as well. Yeah, always in roast mode. Always in constant 17th century French roast mode. So what would he mock? People's ass scots or the shoe buckles. What do you make fun of a 17th century or 16th century Frenchman? We'll go into it. But there, it's really hard to even explain just how he showed up into this small town

and was just like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool. He did it to everybody. He really got, got. All right. The Jim Brewer of priests. But before we get into the story itself, let's acknowledge our source. The Devils of Lodon by Aldous Huxley. Huxley obviously had a fantastic time researching and writing this book.

This book can honestly be considered like a 1950s antecedent of what we do. That's a very high praise for us, but that's nice to think about. It's mostly just, it's, he's goofing on shit. He's goofing on funny things that happened way back when. So you think Aldous Huxley would like that comparison that you just, he would hate it, right? He would hate, he would hate what we do, he would hate everything about who we are. Right.

Oh, he would hate, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, Aldous Huxley would push my face down into a carpet and beat the living shit out of me if he was a 95 pounds of British cigarette smoker. But still, it is a beautifully written history of both the event and the era and is of the highest recommendation to anyone into the show who's down for some thick reading. I'd also put out there the movie, The Devils by Ken Russell. Of course. My favorite movie of Ken Russell's, it's very difficult to get a hold of.

The Devils is one of the most deliciously satanic movies to ever have been produced. Yeah. Besides The Devils reign. It is so oi-oi-oi. There's so much in and out, Oliver Reed's fucking mustaches, the curliest thing I've ever seen. Right. And that must have taken several people to keep going because he's twisting it and other

people are twisting it. Everybody's nude and a lot of what, a lot of face paint and a lot of fun segues with weird fucking hallucinatory music video segments. Yeah. It's probably solely his runny nose from all the cocaine that's making the mustache stay in place. That was given to him by a doctor. Oh, I see.

So that he could drink and still act. Henry, they also, The Devils, that movie, you know, they made a book about it. I fucking hate you. I hate you. Man. What a world. Thanks. So, Urbain Grandier came to the French town of Lodon in 1627 after he was appointed parish

priest of Saint Pierre de Marche church. Now, although Grandier was a priest, he had, let's say, some libertine ideas about what a priest was and was not allowed to do. Quote and quote allowed to do. Interesting. Part of that had to do with the fact that Grandier was a good looking guy, at least by the standards of the time. Huxley described Grandier's appearance as looking like, quote, a slightly less intelligent

Mephistopheles in clerical fancy dress. So he's a 1600s French 10. Is that what I'm hearing? Oh, he, right, stylish, full of fucking vinegar. He's being like, hey, I locked the cat of your bosom in them. Like very rebold. The way he showed up, because he rolled into, he was trained by the Jesuits. But at the time, the Jesuits were supposed to be basically reeducating the population

into making them better Christians. That was the idea where we're going to keep them studious and we're going to get them really serious about religion. But we're also, unlike many other different teaching styles at the time, we're going to take education very seriously. But so instead of creating all of these good Christians, what they did was create a whole field of free thinkers, like a bunch of like, by just teaching, giving them the tools to think for themselves.

And Grandier got the instruction manual of how to stick a bush every fucking three feet, but also hold the line of his priest laws. And all at once. And I say this guy's very talented. Yeah. Interesting. They just kind of let loose a whole bunch of dandy fops out into the priest world. Oh my goodness.

You're going to, oh, unleashing the dandy fops, are you? Do you think that's a good idea, Jesuits? I went to a Jesuit school. I know the Jesuits. Yeah. Well, look how disciplined you became. Always disciplined. Yeah.

Now, in accordance with the standards of the time, the people who were actually in power didn't really care about or bang Grandier's sexual habits when it came to banging peasant girls and lonely widows. And Grandier did bang quite a few peasant girls and lonely widows. And yours would see me in heaven, and it's not a single cloud left unpierced. He's like Rob Schneider from the Jig alone? Yes. You know what's happening?

Every lonely woman is just like, I'm upset that you made that reference, but yes, in a way. He is. Wow. Well, part of the reason why, according to Huxley, as far as the libertine sexual ideas at the time, a part of the reason why those existed was that most aspects of palace life were essentially on display, no matter how private. Because apparently architects in the 17th century hadn't quite figured out the hallway

just yet. Hold on a second. Yeah, dude. Everything was open concept. It was like Jojo went through there and chipped with a sledgehammer and just took out every single way of hiding anything. Isn't the hallway the easiest thing to do in the house? It's a hallway.

I feel like that would be the first thing. And then you build a house around. If you told me that they had a hard time with, you know, what do you call that area when you first walked in? The foyer? The foyer. Then I would believe you, but I don't understand how they couldn't figure out a hallway. No, it was just room next to room next to room next to room.

Jesus. And as a consequence, to get from one side of the palace to the other, one had to walk from room to room to room, where literally anything could be happening, from people squatting over chamber pots, to people having sex, to people giving birth, to people dying. You're just walking through other people's lives constantly. And this is the aristocracy. This is the high class people that are forced to, like, literally you could see your uncle shitting in a pot while fucking a woman at the same time.

And she's just going like that sound of like her noiselessly just bobbing up and down in her nemesis. He's just like, oh, I'm getting all the nugget out. But because it's a part of the high society, that's totally legit. And that's what you're supposed to be seeing. It really is the living example of social media. It is Facebook, but instead of just going to someone's different Facebook page, you've got to walk through a room, and then you get to see that stillborn in real life.

And that's really, you want to be the front row for that. Oh, yeah, sure. So the view on sex at the time, amongst those who pulled the strings of society, was fairly liberal. There were prudes in Lou Dome when it came to Grandier, but those were in the minority, and they didn't really do much other than just grumble about it. And to a quick little thing into the Reformation, the idea was at the time, up until then, which I actually think that was when the Christian church was actually more honest when they

were selling indulgences, because at least then we can be open up front and say the word of God is purchasable. Yeah. Like, you can go, you give some money, you get your fucking indulgence, boom, boom, boom, we're out of here. But the Reformation, they were trying to fix all this shit, or Grandier, he showed up right in this fucking transition period between when priests literally were motley crew. They could do whatever the fuck it is that they wanted to, because they were a part of,

essentially, like, what would be viewed at that time, in my mind, like, the silicone valley of society, where it's like, the most educated and the richest people also have the coolest jobs. And so he is a guy that is, he was in this world, and then as he shows up, times were changing. Now, of course, Henry, I have a question. Is silicone valley, now, is that just a valley full of huge fake tits? Yeah, buddy.

Yeah, because I'm pretty sure that everyone in silicone valley isn't just working on breast enhancement. I should be. They work in computers, and they work on, like, social media stuff. I don't know. But as the years went by, Grandier started moving past the homes of widows and into the chambers of noblemen's daughters. Because Grandier was not only good looking, but he could talk a good game as well.

And moreover, Grandier was also one hell of a priest. He was a great showman, and he was able to draw crowds in Lodont like none before. Back when the only entertainment that one had were public executions and the Sunday sermon. He used to rock the fucking house. He was funny. He was cool. He was very mean as well.

He was not a kind man. He was fucking rough, dude. He was kind of sort of like, you could maybe paint him as like a Dennis Miller. He was, you know, he had a lot of problems, but he was also, at one point, very entertaining. Okay, so he was going on the conservative talk show scene, he was talking to the Bill O'Reilly of France at the time. He also sounds a little bit like a Bernie Mac, because Bernie Mac, I love him with all of my heart, but when he wanted to turn on the roast, he could eat that, he could eat

that roast right up. Yes. And since Grandier was so damn good at sermons, the local monks, who had previously been raking in all the congregate cash, lost their audience almost overnight. This in addition to Grandier thinking he was such hot shit, made the monks his sworn enemies. And Grandier hated the monks just as much as they hated him. In fact, Grandier hated all of his enemies and seemed to relish every bit of hatred they threw his way.

And he talked as much shit as he could every night in the houses of his friends. It's more like, go fuck yourself. I would not fuck you with B Arthur's Dean. I love it, man, I wish I could live during this time period, just be like, priest monk fight happening now, come watch the priest monk fight. Well that was his first order when he came into town, he was like, he showed up for things like, you have all been serving at the hands of the monks, they are lame, come to my church where we get to have, I can draw the titties of half the women in this congregation, do

you want to see? I could draw all the shapes. Just pulls out his pants and he just put two nipples on his butt cheeks. And mostly he did all this shit because he thought it was funny. And because he loved a good fight, in other words, this man probably should not have been a priest. That's where we disagree. Yeah, I think he actually sounds like a really fun priest.

Yeah, I think he was born to do this, I think it's exactly what he should have been doing, he was actually great at it for a period of time, but you can be too good at a thing and then get in trouble. Absolutely, Bo Jackson just ran too fast and broke his own leg. That's the only reference we need. Yeah, that's all you need, but I do wonder, maybe priests or executions, you said there was only two forms of entertainment and he didn't want to be executed, so there was no stand-up comedy, there wasn't a vaudeville scene, maybe he would just be a performer

today. Maybe, maybe. Oh no, he definitely is the mentality of a stand-up, like he was ready and he was taking everybody down with him and there was something about, but he really just truly thought because of his training, he's like, I'm fucking smarter than everybody here, no one's gonna get me, I can't get God, even though they, they wasn't the last priest of Lodon, but it was another one of the priests, I believe someone connected to Lodon was already burnt at the stake. Oh, interesting.

He was really, he was really gambling. It sounds like he is, that sounds like the worst way to go. And he loved his life in Lodon. As Huxley put it, quote, it was a thoroughly agreeable existence, satisfying alike to head and heart, to the gonads and the adrenals, to the social persona and his private self. Can I also read a section of his favorite poem? Sure. This is, this is my, this is to me an example of, of an example of what Grandier was like.

This is, he held this to be true for himself. Is this one of the things that would get him right in the gonads or the heart or the head, do you think? I think always the gonads with Grandier. When we are in the temple, kneeling, we shall act the part of the devout, in the manner of those who, to praise God, humbly bow themselves in the most secret corner of the church. But when we are in bed, intertwined, we shall act the part of wonders, in the manner of those lovers who, free and frolicsome, practice a hundred fondling arts.

Written by Brad Pitt, interviewed with a bad word. It sounds like it was written by Lou Pearlman, four lands fast. Oh my goodness. And Grandier kept making enemies in high places, from the local apothecary, to the local surgeon, all the way up to the king's first minister and cardinal, a man named Richel, arguably one of the most powerful people in the whole country and it was all just from talking shit. So this was, he just, he's like, today I wanna anger just everyone that can kill me. Why not just shoot a little bit lower?

I felt like he was fucking deflon. I dare you to deflon, deflon, deflon. Because I was like, I dare you to deflon, deflon, deflon, deflon. Because I was like, I dare you to deflon, deflon, deflon. But he just truly did believe. I'm so fucking clever, dude. You can't get me? Interesting, kind of a Julian Assange type, perhaps.

Interesting hot button issue. Fly from your way, fly from your way. But he did have friends in high places as well, or more accurately, one friend. The public prosecutor of Lodon, Louis Trincotte, who is Grandier's best friend. Best friends, man! That's what you and me, together, I go, you're the one, the person that I can call to go to a movie, because I hate having to catch up with any friend, or ever, it's just simply going to see the newest Mel Gibson dragged across concrete.

Ooh, alright, so he does have one friend in one relatively high place. But that all changed when Louis Trincotte's daughter came of age. Oh yeah, and that age was 13 years old. Yeah, I was gonna say, we're not talking like the legal standard of 18 here. It sounds like about 15, 16, somewhere around there. The widows and peasants were one thing, but when it came to Philippe Trincotte, Grandier had a true challenge. And so, Grandier began the slow seduction of his best friend's daughter.

Okay, I have a question here. When it comes to waiting for women to come of age at this time period, is it like Walter Mathaus' character from Dennis the Menace, just waiting for that flower to bloom? Do they just stare at 12 year olds and be like, any day, any day, that 12 year old, today, that is so weird, yes. I actually think that that's very close. They talk about sighting the daughter, like he was like, I knew she was be a grandaim from the time she was five years old, but as she blossomed into her maturity, I knew

then I could place stem into pencil. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it's a whole, has she bled yet? Yes, she's ready for love. Has she bled yet? Has she bled yet? The way you say it, it becomes. And of course, after many quote unquote private lessons, Grandier was successful in seduction.

But unfortunately for everyone involved, Grandier wasn't too careful when it came to birth control methods of the time, so Philippe was soon pregnant. He said, according to his line too, that was also put into the Devils by Ken Russell, being like, I knew after that time, we had the most perfect coupling. I feel like they just had sex and he put a bunch of cheese inside of his dick or something that would just keep it all in. This was back in the day. I mean, I'm certain that there's still women and men that can be entranced by this, but

his, his knowledge of verse used to make her get going, right? Even as a 16 year old girl, she had no clue what was going on. And then slowly but surely, he would kind of give her a knowing look over a book. And she would be like, what am I to, how am I to infer the attractions of the Curay? And then she would finally go and she confessed in confession, because also he was her confessor. Yeah. Right. Which is, again, I've seen this scenario in several documentary films, but with those

documentary films, everyone's 18. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By law. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Interesting. That's why I saw Fred Willard in that theater with me. Yes. Leave Fred alone. By the way, Fred Willard, he was, he was caught doing what you're supposed to be doing in a porno movie. Yeah. He didn't go to see the new Jason Bourne and just start squeezing it out.

If you're in a porno movie, it's technically applauding when you go to the theater. You should. You could, that's the whole point. Honestly, it isn't a plus. Well, after Philippe became pregnant, Grandier washed his hands of the whole thing, ended the private lessons the two of them had been enjoying for months, and went right back to being just a priest who listened to her confessions, stonewalling her any time she wanted to talk about their relationship.

He said, now it's the time to bear your Christian burden on your own. Yeah. And with that, Louis Trincon, the public prosecutor, went from her obeying Grandier's best friend to his absolute worst enemy. Uh-oh. And that... Because it ruined his whole fucking, it ruined his whole business. He had to find a husband for her, and no one wanted to take her because she was going

about to give birth to a bastard that was connected to the church. It was, it was a to-do. Yeah. Mm-hmm. A big, big, big to-do. To-do. And this was kind of the last straw for Urbane Grandier getting away with everything. That last straw that was just holding onto their friendship, don't have sex with my daughter

and get her pregnant. Yeah. That's my last straw. Yeah. Like all friendships have. That's like five straws. Yeah. I don't think that's quite a few straws.

Yeah. Well, suddenly a whole cabal had been formed to take down the parson, and they all met at the apothecary shop. Among Grandier's enemies in those meetings were the public prosecutor, the public prosecutor's nephew, the lieutenant-criminer, a powerful priest named Canon Mignon, the town surgeon, the town apothecary, and the prosecutor's father-in-law, a man named Memine de Silly. I hope we go up there while we throw a rubber chicken at that man and just squeaks and wake him up.

Well. The beginning of French comedy. I love it. Well, I got a funny idea. How about we get a big fat girl to fart on him? Great idea, Dr. Silly. It is fun. It could be fun.

Also, apothecaries at the time were like a wizard shop. Yeah. Like, they would have big, like, the way they talk about, like, dried alligators hanging from the ceiling, because they would do all these weird old-timey home remedies that were essentially witch magic. So he's staring down the barrel of everyone that has power in this town, and everyone with power now officially hates him. Yes.

So there's no way out of this. Not really. Okay. And let's see if there's two of those smoke bombs, like Batman has, but other than that, he's screwed. He's got a couple of friends left. He's got some people in other towns, you know, we'll see. He's got a little bit of wiggling to go.

Okay. Oh, he's got a lot of wiggling to do, you know what I mean? Might be the problem. It was from this apothecary shop that these men would eventually raise their glasses, smile and laugh when Urbain Grandier was burned at the stake before their very eyes a couple of years later. Now would we be there? Would we be there?

Raising our glasses? Watching this happen? No, not raising our glasses, but we'd be there watching. Okay. Yeah. Oh no, and they did it. We'll get into it next episode. But ooh, they did him.

Fucking dirty. Really? Okay. And it all began with what else but an illicit affair. Pretty soon after these guys formed their little club, they started hearing rumors that Grandier had a new conquest, a 30 year old woman named Madeleine de Bru. But this time, Grandier had fallen head over heels in love and had actually married Madeleine de Bru in a secret ceremony.

So in this, the cabal saw an opportunity to take Grandier down for immorality. He is a very interesting character. Grandier wrote an essay to explain how within the teachings of the church, he could break the laws of celibacy like legally, like without committing sin, where he wrote this thing saying it is impossible for any red-blooded man to commit to the idea of celibacy. So in the, it's just the commitment of a thing that cannot be achieved. There's no way to adhere to this commitment. Like he did a lawyerly thing.

And then what was common at the time for when a priest actually did fall in love with one of his various concubines, he did a secret ceremony where he's just like, do you, Urbain Grandier, take this woman to be your wife? I do. Do you, Madame Philippe, do you take this man to be your husband? I do. Where he just does the whole thing from them in the basement of a church. And all of a sudden they are secret husband and wife.

Interesting. So he did a little point counterpoint, the point you can't have sex with anybody, you're a priest. But, what do I do? Alright, he's trying to protect himself there. Again, when it came to widows and peasant girls, nobody cared. But when Grandier captured Madeleine De Bruy's heart, he pissed off the king's advocate, a lawyer named Pierre Minwau.

Ooh. And Minwau had been trying to court De Bruy for years. Uh-oh. And when Minwau came on board, he brought his friend Jacques Tabot, who was just there to support his buddy. And as it usually goes in situations like this, the friend took it too far and beat Grandier with his cane in the street. Yeah.

Can't fight. Hey, game fight happened in here, game fight happened in here. It's like our buddy Travis Irvine's friend that we met in Cleveland, Tomato Jake. Something like that. The guy that was just called Tomato Jake because he just had a very red and pink face. But it's always those guys that you bring in who's just like, I'll throw you out of hand or lose more fuck. You beat him outside.

And you're like, no, no, it's delicate. We got like nine people trying to be like, I'm going. I'm fucking going. They're trying to stop me, dude. Now, a cane beat down is humiliating because you are being beaten by someone who requires a cane to walk. Well, this is back in the time when canes were a fashion accessory. Oh, it wasn't because he had bad legs or bad knees.

No, no, no, he just had the cane to look fancy and he didn't really beat him, beat him. He just hit him in the head real fucking hard. That'll do it. So Grandier went to the king with a complaint that Thibault had blasphemed by striking a man of the cloth while the apothecary rode in the other direction to the Bishop of Poitiers to obtain a counter letter of outlining how big of a bastard Grandier was and the apothecary found upon his arrival, the Grandier was already on that Bishop's shit list and the Bishop

was ecstatic that someone had finally arrived with a reason to take Grandier down. And you knew the Bishop was ecstatic because he said, ah, oh yeah, that's peak ecstatic for bishops. And since the church was extremely powerful during this time, the Bishop won and immorality charges were brought against Grandier. And Grandier had reason to be nervous because what he was doing could be a capital crime in France at the time based on the judge. Six years earlier, a country parson had been burned alive for quote, spiritual incest and

sacrilegious impudicities. That is a lot to unpack as a lawyer, like what does that mean? I don't know, but that guy's on fire for it. Did you say incest? Spiritual incest. It's a spiritual incest, having sex with the Virgin Mary or something. How does this work? It's a fancy way of saying that the priest had broken his vow of chastity.

Ah. Spiritual incest. Okay. Your parish is your flock. It's like when the farmer has sex with his sheep because in that world, a sheep is like his daughter. I don't know if that's true, but I see what you're saying. Is that my incest slash PCALITY map?

Yeah, I think that the calculation does work out. But even though a fellow reverend testified that he actually saw Grandier having sex on the church's stone floor with a parishioner. All right. Cuckboy. No one's going to question this guy and be like, what were your pants down? What were you doing watching this priest have sex with another person? It is not sex if your stem comes through the fly of your pants.

Oh my goodness. And who knows if the reverend actually saw Grandier do this, but even so, Grandier got off with a slap on the wrist, condemned to fast on bread and water every Friday for three months. And I'm sure that priest who ratted on him was like, yes, slap him harder. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

No, because this was the time too. There was a book written about cult confessions, which was written by a contemporary of Grandier. And this is the type of shit where it's like he took a nice young chambermaid. And his whole thing was playing games with her where he got her to menstruate into a cup so we could do all of these like experiments with the menstrual blood. And then he did a lot of stuff with like how wide a butthole could get. This is true. All right.

With the menstrual blood, it was he wanted to dispel the myths of what menstrual blood could do. It was all in the name of science. Oh, of course. A lot of things in the name of science turn out just to be ideas of people who are batshit crazy. Yeah. You mean batshit crazy and batshit horny.

Yeah, I guess so. You can be batshit horny. I don't, you know, the minutes before I masturbate are some of the times where I am at my worst. But I will say there's nothing wrong with menstrual blood. No. I have said that before. We had a great painting, a great artist who paints all of her words with her menstrual blood.

Yes. Now, at first, the sentence also barred Grandier from returning to his parish for a period of five years. He was exiled, but luckily, or perhaps unluckily, seeing how it all turned out, the Archbishop of Bordeaux Henri des Soudis also liked to fuck and was therefore sympathetic to Grandier. I feel like everyone in this is just a wine bottle screaming at each other. They all have names like they're fine wines. It's a lot of drawings from olive oil bottles all yelling at each other.

And so Grandier returned to Ludon, completely reinstated, even though he could have easily gone elsewhere. The reason was that Grandier wanted to spite his enemies. And as Huxley wrote, Grandier loved the adrenaline rush of anger almost more than he liked sex. Almost. Almost. Okay. And in addition to that, Grandier still had his love Madeline back in Ludon, his secret

wife, and since he was a priest then and forever, Madeline couldn't just pick up and move to wherever Grandier might be. But there was still one final piece of the puzzle that had to fall into place for Grandier to wind up on the stake. And that is where the nuns of Ludon come into play. Yep. They also invented scissoring. Really.

It's huge. It's huge for culture. 17 nuns made their home at the Ludon nunnery. Most of them were actually noble women who had been forced into the life because their families didn't have the dowry money to marry the extra daughters off to a suitable man, so these girls were just made to be brides of Christ instead. So they don't have to hang out with some stinky old French farmer man instead they get to hang out with a bunch of their lady friends and do whatever they want?

There is nothing wrong with the nunning experience. It sounds like a lot of fun. I think that it will see. It actually is a lot more fun than, you know, maybe it was supposed to be wink, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, nudge. But these guys, I mean, they were cloistered still. They were held within this convent. They were not supposed to leave the building, so it's just these women all stewing their

own knee juices, washing the same habits again and again. But every once in a while, Sister Madeline starts looking a little bit better. Absolutely. She puts a carrot between her legs, or you just get it right there. All right, man. Now you're pontificating a little bit on what you would like to see happen, carrot between the legs. My goodness.

And life was actually horribly difficult for these women. The town of Lou Dome was half Protestant, and even the other half that were Catholic didn't really give a shit about the nuns either. So the nuns had to live in a notoriously haunted old house with no furniture sleeping on the floor every night. Oh. Yeah, I researched a little about the Huguenots, but then my eyes kind of glazed. Over.

Not really that important to the story. OK. Huxley does a great job of explaining all the ins and outs on that, but yeah, not really that important. Sounds like there was more ins, but that's just it. Oh. Sex. Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, there's a bunch of horny Frenchman

with microphones. That's us today. I guess so. Oh, well, it was only after the town discovered that the nuns were indeed noble women with powerful relatives that they started sending their children to learn good French and courtly manners. And life wasn't so terrible after the nuns got a few students. They got boarders and essentially turned into a tiny little Catholic school.

But it was the mother superior of the nunnery, Priorus Jean de Angers, who was going to cause all the trouble for Urbain Grandier. Now, when you think mother superior, naturally, the first thing to come to mind, wrinkled old woman. Problem child. Yeah. Mother superior, big old mole. Exactly.

Yeah, big mole, like sturdy habit with the big stick and she's just like, ah, you can't use the left hand. Like, that's the kind of shit I imagine. Absolutely. Blues brothers. Yeah. Getting people with rulers. Yeah.

But Sister Jean was in her mid-twenties and by all accounts, a pretty woman. Her only problem was that she was a little under five feet tall and was hunchbacked from, as Huxley writes, some tubercular affectation of the bones. Yes, my bone virus was pretty tubular. Yeah, it sounds pretty tubular. Tubercular. Tubercular. We're not game fucking idiots.

No, I thought that, no, you should see my feet. They are pretty gnarly, hang tent. Yeah. All right, so minus the small hunchback, she's very pretty. She's pretty? Okay. Fly from your grave. Fly from your grave.

Now, Sister Jean was what you might call a real piece of work, horribly defensive about her slight deformation, Sister Jean was disagreeable, manipulative, aggressive, and sarcastic. And according to Huxley, her parents sent her to the convent mostly because she was just a horrid teenager that they just didn't want to deal with anymore. Fuck you, Mom and Dad, you made me a question mark. Oh, how would you describe your daughter? Why do you think she should be in the nunnery? The best description would be Chihuahua.

I believe she resembles a Chihuahua in personality. She calmed down a bit by the time she got to Ludong, but through clever manipulation, she had worked her way to the mother superior position by her mid-twenties through ingratiating herself with all the right people. Sister Jean was particularly known for her jeering, cynical laughter meant to put people that she thought were beneath her into their place. And everyone was beneath Sister Jean, everyone that was except Urbain Grandier. Many of these nuns had a lot of time for gossip, and one of their favorite subjects when it

came to gossip was all the naughty little things that Parson Urbain Grandier had been getting up to. Uh-oh. Yes, I will lick the butthole, but I only do it on Wednesdays. Oh, humtay, okay. Now Urbain had no contact whatsoever with these nuns. He never went by the nunnery, he never spoke to these nuns, he never even set eyes on them. They just knew who he was and they knew the stories.

He was a celebrity of the town. Yeah, okay. But as Huxley wrote, quote, in the imagination of his female parishioners, Grandier's amorous exploits took on heroic proportions. He became a mythical figure, part Jupiter, part Seder, bestially lustful, and yet, or therefore, divinely attractive. So satanic, so satanic because it's the two all layered together, this is my favorite stuff in the world, this is the stuff that titillates me the most, the idea of priests

and nuns having sex with each other inside of the church and fucking defying all of their pesky morality that they've forced upon them. I would say it has definitely influenced my selection of documentaries this week. All right, again, you don't have to wink at me, literally Marcus winked at me, first of all, this is an audio platform, second of all, everyone knows that you're mean by documentary. Good lord. The Italians do it best.

They do. They sure that they do. All right, true question here, Rasputin, or this fella here? This story actually, I mean, this story has a lot of parallels to Rasputin. It reminded me of Rasputin when we were doing this whole thing. By Rasputin or Grandier, do you mean who is the better lover? No, I mean, yeah, who was perceived to be, let's do a people, people magazine spread, who number one and number two sexiest man alive.

Who is it between Rasputin and Grandier? Rasputin's ding dong took him to the very top of the power structure of Russia. That is the only thing that I would say that it bleeds towards Rasputin side where they didn't have all the same kind of weird pent up morality that Grandier had to work with, who are Rasputin, I wouldn't put myself in flagrante thinking about the exploits of Rasputin, but I definitely jerk off to the devils. Oh my goodness, all right. Well, out of all these nuns, there was no nun more obsessed with Grandier than Sister

Jin who was coming to find out that despite her position as Mother Superior, she still had all the sexual urges of a horny 25 year old. I'm sure, yeah. Then one day, Canon Mousson, the director and confessor of the nunnery, died and suddenly there was an opening for a new man. So as soon as Mousson was buried, Sister Jin sent a letter to Urbain Grandier asking if he would like to take the old confessor's place at her side. Dear Monsieur Grandier of the Curée, there happens to be here at the nunnery a bit of

an opening that needs to get filled, even to its very brim, and maybe we want to see just how filled. The opening can be almost to its gaping point. Intrigued. It sounds a bit like a penthouse forum letter, but, well, Grandier responded with nothing more than a polite refusal. He said that he was not worthy of such an honor, besides he already had his hands full with his duties as the parish priest.

And full of duties. But to him holding two big ol' dukes. Oh man, it's just kind of punny. I have to hold the quill with my knees. And with just that one letter, Grandier turned from an object of lust and infatuation for Sister Jin to a hated enemy who must be destroyed at all costs. You're gonna say no to me? Yeah.

You're gonna say no to me and my fucking gash? Wow, you should have said yes. So instead of Urbain Grandier, the post of nunnery confessor was filled by Canon Mignon. And if you'll remember, Canon Mignon was already a part of the cabal hellbent on destroying Urbain Grandier, because Canon Mignon also happened to be the cousin of the girl Grandier had impregnated and abandoned. Oh, big mistake there. It is all these small town problems, because like how many times, because you know in Rochester,

right, everybody knows each other's fucking business. And everybody who dated somebody, somebody else's ex, and so everybody's all on top of each other. But that's not to say that Sister Jin was invited to all the meetings to play a conscious part in the conspiracy. She was only a tool, and she would be used with devastating success. And so the stage was set for Urbain's downfall, and it all began with dreams. Sister Jin began dreaming of Canon Monson, the deceased confessor, coming back from

purgatory to request assistance in his prayers. But slowly, Monson's face turned into that of Grandier's. In her dreams, Grandier gave Sister Jin sweet words of love, caressed her lithe body, and quote, pressed her to grant him what was no longer hers to dispose of, that which, by her vows, she had consecrated to her divine bridegroom. What could that be? My gosh. What's going on here?

It's spicy. Now, it's spicy. She starts having a lot of dreams, but just think about this. It's just like, she's Vanessa Redgrave, and the devil, she's absolutely hot. She even, with the hunchback, it's like, it really doesn't affect anything, but then you got Alaphire Reed's big catcher's mitt face appearing, and him just going, like this. Sounds scary. And of course, every morning, Sister Jin would wake up and tell her nuns all about these

little nocturnal adventures she'd been having. And before long, two other nuns, Claire de Cezilly, and a peasant girl also named Claire, were having those same dreams. Now, remember, they say it's dreams, but it starts to turn into, I had a vision. I am seeing these things. This is actually now a thing. This is becoming real, and these don't just come from anywhere. I'm a devout woman with a lithe body, and I have an extra curve on top, and I'm just

getting sent these visions. So Grandier is like Freddy Krueger, who is haunting these girls' dreams, but instead of finger knives, they're just a bunch of dildos. Really? Yeah. Wow. Well, suddenly, Urbane Grandier was no longer just a rascal to be gossiped about, no longer just the local rake.

He was turning into an actual incubus, coming at night in spiritual form to squat on the chests of innocent nuns to steal their life energy through sexual means. Mmm. Yeah, squatting on their chest. Very bizarre. I learned about this thing called the Pittsburgh Platter recently. Yeah? We can talk about that off here, the old Pittsburgh Platter.

And still, even with that, it all might not have caught on, if not for a Halloween prank. Always with the pranks. Always with the pranks. The French love jokes. I mean, they're not good at them. The only person that can throw a good prank is George Clooney on Brad Pitt, because in the end, they all go laughing at their Italian, like, cabin homes. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. I think Ashton Kutcher was pretty good with the pranks. He was okay. Remember when he stole Freddie Munits' car? Yeah. Then he started crying and stuff. Yeah. And they put it on television.

Yeah. They embarrassed him on TV, just a little child actor there. Well, a couple of the younger nuns had decided to fake a haunting with the purposes of scaring the kids and breaking up the horrible monotony of their lives. Just a big prank. Pretending to be the ghost of Canon Moselle, the young nuns donned a white sheet and roamed the dormitories, groaning and rattling chains, plucking clothes off of beds, and freezing their fingers in icy water before touching the faces of sleeping children.

But if we did that, Kessal, we would be in jail. Oh, yeah, in ruck and time. Rightfully so. Yeah. And that was all just meant to blow off steam, but some of the older nuns took it seriously. First, there was this possible incubus hanging around, and now they had an actual haunting. But there was one guy who saw all this as an opportunity, Canon Mignon. Mmm.

Now Mignon knew that Sister Jin was only having these dreams because she wanted to have sex with Grandier. He knew that. He was a rational man. He figured that out, huh? He figured that one. Yeah. The haunting was just a bunch of nuns in white sheets.

Oh, yeah. But if he put it all together and spun it in just the right way, then he suddenly had enough to hang Urbane Grandier. That's all you need, huh? And so Mignon got to work on convincing the nuns that the dreams were not only real, but satanic. Oh. And before long, the nuns were officially possessed by all sorts of demons and devils.

And this is, again, we talk about possessions, we've talked about them in the past, right? This is, maybe they say it, they say mass hysteria. They say that it runs through this group of nuns like a forest fire, where each one starts imitating the symptoms of the next. But in the end, what's the difference between play acting possessed if it gets you fucking burnt at the stake? Right. And at some level, if it comes kind of real, like because they start changing.

Interesting. And then once the nuns were suitably whipped into a frenzy, Mignon went to the apothecary cabal and told them that he had a foolproof way to finally take down Grandier. What's that? We can call him a witch. Call him a witch! They tried hitting him with a cane, the monks attacked him. Now this is the witch move.

This could work. The witch gambit. Wow. They tried to get him legally. And they begged him to leave Loudon. The guy finally let them go. Like when he finally got rid of the exile, but we talked about it before, as soon as they let him back in the town, they were like, why don't you just fucking leave?

You know, you could go and fucking get a new secret wife doing a whole thing of life and he was just like, no, I want them to smell my shit and I want them to smile. But it gets you get got. Yeah, absolutely. He could have gone to a whole series of different French towns. He could have. But if these guys really wanted to nail Grandier, they had to make this a true spectacle. And there's nothing better for a spectacle than an exorcist.

So Mignon made a visit to the order of Carmelite monks to recruit one. Now he chose the Carmelites for a couple of reasons. One, these monks were much more zealous than what you'd call secular priests like Grandier, the ones who actually have daily contact with the outside world. And two, these Carmelite monks in particular hated or bane Grandier because he was just so good looking and so funny and personable and sarcastic and all weren't a sermon so fucking great compared to ours. Well, I mean, I do like the Carmelite monks.

Carmelite monks, yes, they were made out of candy. Yes, they sound like they might be specializing in Werther's originals. So the Carmelites gave Mignon not one, but three exorcists to play with. Fathers, we'll say that Saint-Michel, Pierre-Thomas de Saint-Charles, and Anthony de la Chari. And within just a few days of them showing up at the nunnery, every nun except a couple of the oldest ones were getting sexy nightly visits from her bane Grandier. Oh, I feel bad for the older ones. And this isn't just like, just dreams.

They're acting this shit out. These guys roll up to the nunnery and you have these women just fucking writhing and moaning and doing the stuff, but I also, it's like, that's a spectacle, like you show up and they're just going like, go fuck me, fuck me. And it's like a documentary that we all enjoy and I would tell them, but it is a, in that time period, that's like, what? Yeah. Right.

Wow. Okay. Now the nunnery had always had a reputation for being haunted. So when it came out that the good sisters were being possessed by devils, it wasn't that much of a stretch. And when it was said to be sexual devils, Grandier wasn't that much of a stretch either. As far as what Grandier thought about all this, he didn't really give a shit, because as we said, he'd never seen any of these women before.

He'd never visited the nunnery and he'd never spoken to any of them outside of his letter to sister Jin. So he's like, yeah, they can say whatever the fuck they want. I don't care. I'm not going to jail. Nothing's happening to me. I don't know any of these women. Yeah.

This is like the one thing I'm innocent of. Yeah. It's like, I legitimately was like, I absolutely did not have sex with them. They are gross. He's just like, I didn't go there. I only have sex with the hot women. Well, technically they're the ones thinking of him. Mm-hmm.

Yep. But while Grandier was thumbing his nose at the whole idea, his enemies were getting to work on the business of exorcism. And they even brought in more exorcists besides the three they already had. They brought in Pierre Rangier, the parson of vigners. In addition to his quote unquote skill as an exorcist, Rangier was also a close personal friend of the bishop that hated Grandier, which meant that there would be no skepticism from the higher ups.

And in addition to that, the possession was guaranteed to be official. In other words, the possession, in other words, the possessions were well on their way to becoming admissible. Oh, very good. So this is going to be documentation. Mm-hmm. Proving he needs to be burnt like a witch. Rangier was soon joined by another priest, Father Barré, whom Huxley described as quote,

one of those negative Christians to whom the devil is incomparably more real and more interesting than God. That's how it's always been. Like Jerry Falwell. Exactly. Interesting. So he's a doom and gloom guy. Saw the devil in absolutely everything.

If there was a disaster, the devil did it. If something weird happened, the devil did it. If you're feeling good about anything, the devil's doing it. What? Come on. And the only person who stands between you and the devil is the kindly power of this priest. Oh.

This priest is the only one who can save you, and he's the only one that you have to listen to him and you have to follow him because the devil is always bad, even though at the time, technically Grandier, I mean he's a fucking asshole, but he's just of this streak of modern thinking that it's kind of trying to bust out of this time period. It's trying to fucking find a way to grip and being like we're getting out of medieval times. Well when Father Barré arrived, he was disgusted at what had been going on, and it wasn't that they were doing exorcisms on these nuns day and night and that the nuns were writhing

sexually, he was disgusted that the exorcisms were being done in private. So upon his direction, the entire affair, almost every single exorcism, was open to the public for everyone to see. And it cannot be stressed how long this process was. By the time the exorcisms went public, the exorcisms had already been going on for months. And they're doing one at a time. Just on the inside, like each one doing the screaming rituals, 12 hours a day while these women were going like oh yeah baby, oh yeah, like all day long.

You know what's a fine interesting is that why are men obsessed with the concept of sucking their own penis, but we never hear about women trying to eat their own vaginas. Well I think that would take an immense amount of contortion of the body. I've seen it. Yeah, well I know that you guys have seen a lot of things, but no I don't think that that would be, I don't know. I just question for them. Yeah, it's a good question.

I mean honestly, to listen to the show, I don't really know. Yeah, I don't know. That's kind of the stump the panel question there, hard to say. So this guy's like a reality show TV producer. He wants to make this thing go live, he wants a viral hit here. Make it public, open it to everybody, let everyone see what's happening here. But also you could see the handiwork of the devil in front of you and you're watching the front lines of it's like when we televised the three day Gulf War in the 90s.

Or really the Chrisley knows best. You know that reality show, that's like watching the devil, it's horrible. And making it public was perfect for Grandier's enemies, but really what people loved most about all the public exorcisms was that in the middle of all the writhing and gnashing of teeth, it was pretty easy to see the bare legs of a sexy young nun. Yeah dude, this is like Denmark. People were openly saying it's like, yeah you're gonna go, yeah, I think the nun's gonna show her legs again. It was saucy, it was fucking Italian gravy saucy man.

Different times, different times. Of course that little peek sometimes came at the expense of the nun's teeth, cause sometimes these women would ride so hard they grind their teeth so hard that their back molars would shatter. But even so, it was said in Leudon that not since the coming of those traveling acrobats with the two dwarfs and the performing bears had the town been treated as such a good show as this. Oh I want to watch that show so bad, it's just dwarfs getting fighting bears.

Oh my goodness. And best of all, it was totally free. Now it wasn't just any old demon that the fathers were dealing with here. Of course not. They had a whole host of demons to attend to. From Asmodeus, to Zablon, to Nepheli, to Elimi, to Virene, to Iscaron, to Isas, to Conspicience. Bunch of nerd demons. Nerd demons.

Indy. We're not nerds, we just like to read. Well, you're gonna tell Conspicience that he's a nerd? Nah, I'm not so much Conspicience. No, he's one of the good ones. I wanted to fire your fill, Benjamin Kissel, as soon as you remove my underwear from this hook in the bathroom stall. Oh my, a nude pooper.

That's not good. These demons lived and ruled different parts of each nun's body. Sister Clare de Cizilli had seven demons possessing her. One in her forehead, one in her right arm, one under the second rib from the right, one to the left of her stomach, one in her neck, one in her left temple, and one in her rib. Makes all the sense in the world. Of course they were. But that was nothing compared to Sister Blanchard.

She had a devil under each armpit, one under the navel, one below the heart, one under her left breast, and implanted into her left buttock was what was called a Coal of Impurity. Well that's a nice demon condo right there. That sounds like some prime real estate. Can you imagine having just one demon in your titty where you've got one good titty and you've got one bad titty being like, steal the cards, like one titty, she's like telling you to do bad things and the other one's like, give money to the poor and you're like, oh titties, I'll just suck on you.

I do think you have a gross misunderstanding of what being a nun entails. Again, you know, I don't need to know. I can just tell the story in my mind. This has been a very immature show to this. Sure, why not? I want to say, oh god, how dare we add so much childishness to this subject. Devils of Lodon. Honestly, the Huxley book has quite a few immature jokes in it as well.

He's just much more eloquent than we are. Yeah, he's a genius. And I am a moron. And so each of these demons had to be exercised from each nun's body one by one. Father Beret went after Asmodeus first, who had made his home in Sister Jin's lower belly. Father Beret wrestled with the demon for two hours in public. Scrabbit a belly. Scrabbit a belly.

What is that? It's just yelling at her in Latin. But he only got laughs and playful blasphemies from Asmodeus in return. After that, Beret figured he'd had enough of this shit, so he took it to the next level. He ordered Sister Jin to her room. And once there, Father Beret sent a messenger to fetch the apothecary and the biggest syringe he could find. Yes, I can bring Jeffrey the syringe.

That's my favorite and biggest syringe. Yes. Right away. Coming for you, son. A 16th century, big, large syringe. Yep. Oh, that's not going to feel good. And once the apothecary showed up, syringe in hand, Beret was waiting with the court

of holy water. Pretty soon, Asmodeus knew what the assailants were up to. I see what you're doing there. I see what you're doing there. Hey, hey, hey, buddy. I see what you're doing there. Hold on. Hold on.

Wait. So Sister Jin started thrashing, but it was all in vain as the priests held down the nun and the apothecary administered a holy water enema. Oh, God. That's even worse than I thought it was going to be. No, man. You got to flood them out. All right.

Lo and behold, two minutes later, Asmodeus had forthwith departed. Is that or so? She took a massive dump. I don't even know what their diet would be in this nunnery. I'm assuming it's not great. So she probably made, she might have actually felt good after this. I don't know. I don't know.

It was grueled meat. Well, honestly, people want this all the time. Gwyneth Paltrow does this once a week. They went and they defarded her. They just, they pumped her out, just like, all that shit coming up being like, excellent. They're all just like, yeah, is it good? Yeah, you think you get enough out of me? Good.

Oh my goodness. Just thinking of Oliver Plath or something is the amount of poop that probably came out of her body. Probably disgusting. And as Asmodeus departed, the devil let loose with the name of the man who had sent not only him, but all of the devils, Urbane Grandier. Oh my God. Yep.

Her asshole said it. Really? Urbane Grandier. Did it. Yeah, I hear that. Thank you, little asshole. Oh, you are funny. All right.

We know what it sounds like, Marcus. Good Lord, are we, are we Howard Sturd now? We're making fart noises into a microphone? How have we regressed so much in an hour? It's remarkable. And with that, Mignon and Grandier's other enemies felt that they had a strong enough case to take official action. So Father Rangier went to the office of the Chief Magistrate, Monceau de Sarice, and asked

him to see the evidence for himself. Sprout him a big bucket of nun shit. Yeah. You see? You see? So de Sarice came down to find Sister Jin in the middle of another exorcism, because there were still six more devils to go. Oh, that was only the one devil.

That was only the one devil. Oh my goodness. And in the words of the minutes drawn by the magistrate's clerk, quote, she began to make very violent movements with certain noises like the grunts of a small pig. Then buried herself under the bedclothes, ground her teeth and made various other contortions, such as might be made by a person out of her wits. Whoa, out of her wits you say? Yeah, he came in and she was going, wait, wait, wait, wait.

She played piggy. Like, man, like, just fucking do. I used to do weird shit. Oh my gosh. You were like, slapping the tinny. Get the demon out of that tinny. Get it out. Honestly, that's Mick Foley's greatest contribution other than everything else he did was the

big noises he used to make as mankind is so funny. And as she was being exorcised, Minion was shoving his thumb and forefinger in the mother's superior's mouth, because that seemed to be Minion's favorite technique when it came to exorcisms. He just fucking shoved his fingers in their mouths and was like, bite me, bite me. He sounds like the demon to me. He is. Minion is without a doubt one of the actual devils of this story.

And so Sister Jin began to, quote unquote, testify to the magistrate. She said that she had been possessed by two pats. One consisted of three hawthorn prickles, while the other was a bunch of roses she had found on the stairs. She said she'd stuck the roses in her belt and as soon as she did, she was attacked by a great trembling in her right arm and was seized by love for Grandier, unable to think about anything else afterward. Okay, now maybe they're just horny, lonely, elderly, or coming of age women.

That could also be part of it. That's it. Okay. Nailed it. Yes, exactly. Thank you. So after the exorcism, Minion took the magistrate aside and, in the presence of two other enemies of Urbain Grandier, happened to remark that this case had some striking similarities to

the case of Louis Galfridi. The poop that came out of Galfridi. You can only imagine. My goodness. See, the case of the Devils of Ludon was not the first time that an entire nunnery had come under the spell of a wicked demon-driven puppet master. Just 20 years earlier, this same thing had happened in Marseille. That case had been born of an illicit love affair between a nun and a priest, and when

the nun was caught, she claimed demonic possession rather than owning up to it. Oh, interesting. And before you knew it, eight more nuns were claiming demonic possession as well. So during an exorcism performed by a Flemish priest named Father Dumptius. Yeah, that is. My God. Look at that. Just when we thought we were being too juvenile, Dumptius comes over and forces us to laugh

at a man with a funny name. He did it. He honestly did this. Yeah. No, Dumptius technically did this one. That's why we gotta laugh at that. Played by Louis Anderson in a movie. Well, it was said by the possessing demon through the nun that Father Galfridi was behind

all the possessions, and this was taken as fact in a court of law. And as a result, Galfridi was burned at the stake using bushes instead of logs because bushes burned slower and hotter. Uh-oh. So when Mignon mentioned Galfridi when it came to Urbain Grandier, everyone knew exactly where he was going with it, and they said, I love it. They love it. I love it.

Like Tim Gunn, I love it. Project Runway. See the way? This is a make it work moment. Make it work. That's what I'm seeing here. Buy mood. Because either way, they would win.

If Grandier was acquitted, he was forever at least an accused sorcerer, and his reputation would be ruined. And if he was found guilty, he'd be literally burned alive. Win-win. And that's good television. Yeah. And here's a bit of a spoiler alert. He was burned alive.

He was burned alive. Oh, my God. Why don't you guys just hit me in the head with a cane a couple more times? I much prefer that, and it hurts. It really does hurt. But we'll get into exactly how that happened, and all of the other awful things that happened are Urbane Grandier along the way, and the Devils of Ludon, part two. Awesome.

Part Dia. Part Dia. Next week. Urbane Grandier, he goes down hard. We're going to find that sometimes killing the incubus does not solve the problem of your possession. And so we're getting into the actual, what happens to Grandier and the aftermath next week.

I think going down hard is what got him in this mess in the first place, but there it is. There it is. All right, Devils of Ludon. Part one. Cannot wait for part two. Really fun story. I like the old, the old timey stories are fun.

Yeah. Oh yeah. And I'm sure I mispronounced every single French name, but yeah, but it's real fun to go Lulon. You're from Texas. You did it so good. Yeah, there's no French people in Texas. No, I know.

That's why you did a great job, because you don't have, you don't have a lot of French people growing up. No. And I'll say what, I'll tell you what, it's, we may not be the men that should be telling this story. What? But we are the men that are telling this, and it's important to remember our point of view is very specific.

Obviously, we don't know a lot about nunneries, what goes on inside of them. So if you're a nun who listens, first of all, congrats, second of all, I guess send us a message or send us an email to see if, is there as much scissoring in an nunnery as I think there is? Okay. Well, that's, that's your question. If you want more of those really interesting questions, subscribe to our Patreon and you can listen to the interview series that Henry and myself do.

We've talked to a bunch of people, so there's a lot of interviews on there. Thank you all for giving to our Patreon. We really appreciate it without you. None of this exists. We are all in this together. Let's see, we have some live shows coming up. Obviously, we are going to be traveling all around this gorgeous world of ours. All around the world.

We are on the 17th of May. We got Kansas City on the 18th of May. We got Denver on the 19th of May. We got Salt Lake City on the 30th of May. We got Vancouver on the 31st. We got Seattle and on the 1st and the 2nd, we're coming to Portland. Canna, wait. Love Portland.

Love Seattle. Love Vancouver. Love all those places. Oh yeah. We got our New Morning Radio show. But honestly, we got pumped the Vancouver show. We still got tickets available. Come and see that show.

Our very, the UK tickets are going really fast. The Australian tickets are going really fast. But I will say, we need people to come to Berlin. We just want to perform for you. So if you're in Klischgesklurg, or if you're in Homston-Stuyken, take a trolley to Berlin or take a Clydesdale. I don't know how you travel around Germany. But go hop on the back of a Bierstein cart and get your way to Berlin.

Follow a panzer. Yeah. Into Berlin. Absolutely. If you're in Poland, go over to Berlin. If you're up in Belgium, I know we got some listeners in Belgium, go on down to Berlin or maybe it's over. Is it east?

It's just go to Berlin. Okay. They know where to go. They got Google Maps. I want to dance on the wall. The wall's gone now though. Yeah, the wall is gone. Yes.

Yeah, no, that's actually a horrible memory to bring up when we go there. I'm not. It was quite hard for people. There's a lot of tiptoeing. You got to do it too. Oh yeah, we're going to be little tiny Tims out there tiptoeing through the tulips of Germany. All right, everyone.

Well, thank you all so much for listening. I think that's all. That's all we got to say. I think that's all we got to say this time, baby. That's all we got to say. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. Hail again, and thanks everyone on The Patriot of Kids.

Yes, Magusta Lashons. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.