Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 363: Icelandic Sorcery

Episode Date: May 4, 2019

On this "relaxed fit" episode of Last Podcast: Ben, Henry, and Marcus talk about Iceland's history of magic, witches, and necropants.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. Why? What's your glade? That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I wish you guys could hear our warm up. I wish you guys could hear just be a fly in the wall. First three boys hashing it out in a room. You guys just say fuck shit piss and clap. What are you talking about? What is the warm up? That's our warm up. I know, so now they heard it. Jump off into the show. They just don't know. They don't hear it.

They don't hear it. It gets cut off before the show begins. For those that haven't heard it, they go fuck shit piss and then they clap and somehow this is the most contentious We are as a group when it comes to the intro. For some reason this is the only time there's ever been a fight. Because Henry refuses to say it with a rhythm. We're not getting into this. There's a time difference. There's a lag in the Skype. So it doesn't match up a lot of the time. It doesn't totally match up. All you have to do is say it in a rhythm. Also apparently, you're a fucking drummer.

He is a drummer. This is what you do. You think in rhythms. You think in syncopations. I'm Polish and I have no musical talent. I think in emotions. That's what they say about the Polish. They're full of emotions. This is the last podcast on the left everyone. I am Ben Kissel with Marcus Barks and Henry Zabrowski. This is a show that we're going to call our relaxed. We are relaxed. We're relaxed program. You want to hear a sound? You know what the sound is? Oh my God. Don't keep your pants on.

That's me taking off my belt. I know but no one can see you but Marcus and I and we don't want to see it again. Can you hear the leather slide? Oh God. Yes. No belt zone baby. No belt zone indeed. Relaxation has occurred. And of course we also have to mention. You know what happened Marcus? What?

A couple of years, about 35 years ago, there was a bald, bald, fat boy born. And that boy looks the same today as he did then. Beautiful Henry Zabrowski. Happy birthday my friend. Happy birthday. Thank you. You are a wonderful friend and we're so happy your mother just... Squeeze you. Squeeze. Everything grew except my penis. Cool.

Well there you go. There you have it. Welcome to the second half of your 30s and the existential dread really starts to set in. You know I don't feel like there's nothing negative about my age that I feel. I feel like in our 30s this is sort of the new peak. Our 20s, your 20s are kind of wasted on being 20. Because you don't know what you're doing at all. Well you're building the steps. That's where you've got to build. We don't come from money. We have no nepotism here.

We actually have to give our parents money now. Isn't that a fun thing about 35? My parents did nothing they never believed in me. But they had a lot of being like, well we'll see when he moves home. That was the kind of mentality that started when I started doing comedy. But now it's definitely like, oh Henry Thomas he couldn't help but noticed the last podcast and the left was number five in the iTunes comedy charts. And I was like how do you even know how to find that?

Like how do you know what that even means? Technically it means nothing. It's about sudden activity but also that you get bumped out by random YouTubers that do one episode and let it rock for a fucking month. And then she had the magical realization like, we need help getting a new car. And I was just like, oh okay. Well number five, nothing to sneeze at you know. No absolutely. Happy birthday Henry Zabrowski and your parents.

They are going to love the new pool you're buying for them. Mr. Clark Griswold over here. You know I have a screwdriver on the desk like next to me and how it could really slide right behind the eyeball. You could just fucking pop it out so it flops on your lips like it's a fucking big sack of nuts. There it is. Henry Zabrowski did have a very sharp object to his eyeball right there. We're happy he didn't pluck out his eye.

Very happy. So this episode, what have we got today? We've got some fun little stories. And then Marcus, Henry, Marcus did something. You want to hear what Marcus did Henry? Let me guess, was it hours of work? No, he went on vacation. I did.

What? He did a vacation. He went on a vacation and of course he went to the most diverse place on the planet, Iceland. It's more diverse than you might think. Really? Yeah. They have horses and people. I saw pictures of both.

How is it so diverse? Do people hide in the lava rocks? No they don't hide in the lava rocks. It's just that there are more than just white people around. White people? Majority. Absolutely. But it is a somewhat diverse place. More diverse than you might think. Also Henry, how would people hide in the lava rocks making it more diverse? That doesn't make any...

I feel like that's how they hide without being seen for a while. Like that's how they could sneak into the country of people from Portugal. They go in there, which Portugal I don't really understand. The difference between Spanish, Portuguese, but I know it's beautiful. I don't know if it's a lot of octopus, but I don't know anything else. I don't know why it sounds different. They can hide in the little rocks, because they're small. But in Iceland, me and Carolina went to the Museum of Icelandic Sorcery and Witchcraft up in Ulmavik.

And I learned quite a bit about Icelandic sorcery. So we're going to be talking about Icelandic sorcery and witch hunts later on in the show. And it is surprisingly different from mainland European sorcery and witch hunts. We'll get into the whole thing. Okay, very cool. I want to address, apparently... So I got a lot of messages saying, number one, Marcus, again, the best work in the business. Oh, yeah.

Or the hardest working podcast in the business. And it's because of Marcus Parks. Marcus Parks is the gangly mermaid on the front of our pirate ship. That is just cutting through the ice, right? But apparently we got some of the French pronunciations into devils of laudal incorrect. Yeah, of course. I know how. Because you're from Queens.

Because he's from Rochester, Texas. You're from Queens and I'm from freakin' Wisconsin. Yeah, I knew I got all of them wrong. I don't have time to go take an intensive course in French pronunciation. Well, maybe if you took... I tried. I totally tried. I absolutely did try.

I looked up things online and looked at the YouTube pronunciations and seeing how things could be... Close, I could get to it, but... I can't learn how to speak French in a fuckin' week. All right. Get better at it! Get better at it! The only problem is too, honestly, is that there's somewhere around 2008 where when YouTube was really starting to kick. Because we know the guys that created the fake pronunciation guide, like YouTube channel.

And I was like, I remember doing that time period, people just would, for fucking laws, would put fake pronunciation videos on YouTube. So even as you're looking at it, half of it's fuckin' fake to begin with. And then you realize, like, oh, the internet has always been fake. The only thing I can trust is the very center of my mind. I actually think that's completely and utterly genius. Because then if you put the fake pronunciation up on YouTube and then someone pronounces it the way that you pronounce it, then you laugh. Because then you're like, they mispronounced it because they listened to us. Isn't that funny?

That is funny. It's like you planted a joke seed that sprouted into a joke plant. Yes, it did! I tried my best on the pronunciation, but it's just like, you know, there's only so much that I can learn in a single week and learning a different language, unfortunately, and learning different pronunciations. Unfortunately, it's not one of those things that I can learn. I think you just nailed it. Dogmeat, to me, you're perfect.

Thank you. You had me at hello. Oh. At, how do you say hello in French? Oui? No, it's yes. Bonjour. Even I know it's Bonjour.

Bonjour. It's from Beauty and the Beast. That's how I know all my French. It's from Beauty and the Beast. I actually, so maybe it's a good point because it's a relaxed episode. There's probably a good way to bring this up is, number one, I think with these relaxed episodes, let's say we can even call them, yeah, we can call them relaxed fit episodes. Yeah, sure.

Like the Levi's like 989s, where it's just essentially, it has, it's essentially a skirt with a little like patch at the bottom connecting the leg holes. I'm wearing my old navies right now, and I don't know what happened, but I'm still a size 38, I don't know for a fact I've gained weight, they stretch. They stretch now. So my old Navy is on brand. They know who's buying their products. Nice.

And they make me feel good. Nice. Well, we'll get, we'll get back to Israel Keys next week. But yeah, this is just a relaxed breather episode. All right, but number one, if you got questions you want us to answer, send them to side store is LPOTL at gmail.com. I think this would be a good opportunity. Maybe if people are curious about things that we do, or how we do them, or I guess our personal

lives, or you're just like, Henry, how, how do you keep the sex alive in a marriage? And I tell you what you do is you just, you grub for it. Well, there you go. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. I'm like, if you want those kind of suggestions, we could do that. And also, there's a good time to say Salt Lake City, we're coming for you, go buy those tickets. Buy those tickets in Salt Lake City.

Cannot wait to go hang out with you guys. Come on down from Provo. Come on down from Provo, if you can. Bring your Yukon down. Bring your Yukon down. All right, everyone. Well, let's get to the first story here. Let's talk about people cryptids.

Let's do cryptids first. Sure. Now, this is a story that's nearing dear to my heart. Obviously, I am part of the Yeti clan. And this is breaking news all the way from the beautiful land of India, which is another place that we should go at some point, at the very least, to party. So, evidently. I don't know if you go to India to party.

Oh, I've heard India is one of the best places to party in the whole world. I'd love to go to India. From who? Every, the whole place. Dubai. Are you hanging out with sheiks? Dubai is not in India. No, not Dubai.

No, whatever. Oh my God. Is that the United Arab Emirates? No, I'm thinking, what's the place in India? The place to go to? Delhi? I don't know. Oh, freaking no.

Bombay? Let's go with Bombay. I've heard India is a good place to party. My brother was there with his boyfriend. They had a great time. They treated him like he was a god. Because, of course, he's huge. But nonetheless, he's very tall.

So, the Indian army claims it found Yeti footprints in Nepal. And, of course, you know, Henry, the world is a little skeptical about this. But you saw the proof. Everybody's got something to fucking say. Everybody's got a roast of this news, which I understand. Because they hate, it's like the UFO disclosure that we were talking about earlier this week. As soon as it fucking comes out, as soon as immediately, like, they have to, the party line snaps right into place of let's make fun of these people because there's no possible

way anything outside of our very limited imaginations could be real. I will say this. Don't make fun of the Indian army. They will mess you up, man. Yeah. They have many, many years, many millennia of war, and they wear fun hats. Are they a fun hat country? I think they're a fun hat country.

I'm fairly certain. They also got nukes. Yes. Well, that's a... That's a whole different... That's a top hat thing. Absolutely. I mean, they got nukes.

They got nukes. Causing, saving the peace, as a matter of fact, the nukes over there. It's the first time they've ever been safe. So this is the breaking news. Now, Henry, you saw this, this army, they were on a mountaineering expedition, and they stumbled upon mysterious footprints in Nepal. Now, Henry, you actually have an authentic Yeti footprint in your apartment. You look at it every day, you know exactly what footprints of the Yeti look like.

I now have two. You have two of them. Okay. I now have two, and the big thing about them is they've got to have the ridges. They only know that it's a legit footprint if it's got the ridges. Okay. You can see that... Which would I like to professionally call the titties of the feet.

It has to have the front lumps that if you were looking at the foot from the bottom of it towards you, and it had little nipples on there, you'd get horny for it, if that's what you're doing. Yes. If that's your lifestyle. But, apparently, so, the Indian army, they discovered as they were going through a mountaineering expedition, as Kissel said, they found prints measuring 32 inches by 15 inches. Okay.

They're full-on footprints. They've got pictures of them. They're found by the Mount Makalu Base Camp on April 9th. So when you look at these footprints, Henry, what comes to mind is this... Obviously, immediately the New York Times, they have an article out being like, they say they found footprints of a Yeti, but it's most definitely just a bear. They're being cynical. They're mocking the Indian army.

Good luck. They are. 32 inches by 15 inches, Henry. What do you think? It seems a little too big to be a bear to me. Well, I'm looking at these pictures right now, and they are very, very interesting. They have big boys. Whatever these footprints are, it's big.

32 by 15. I guess it's like, how big do Indian bears get? Well, you can just say bears. I think you can just say bears. No, because it goes by region, right? Okay. Because they're here. The bear's family of India.

You've got the Himalayan black bear. They reach a length of five to six feet, right? Okay. So that's not going to make a 32 inch by 15 inch footprint. The brown bear. Right? So this is also, that is a small bear, and then a bear called the sloth bear. These are the bears that the Himalayas.

Sloth bear is also a tiny ass bear. So you look at these bears, by the evidence of these are the bears that are possibly on the Himalayan mountains, none of these are going to make a 32 by 15 inch footprint. And never mind, it's got the ridges. And I do feel that the Indian army, why would they go all the way fucking out of their way to send in these footprints to their scientists to verify what the animal's going to be if it's just a fucking bear? I think they know what bears are.

Okay. Well what the New York Times article says about, you know, the bear thing is that the 32 inches may come from a mama bear going up front, and baby bears tend to hop behind in the footprints. The New York Times is why we are at where we are today. The building should be burned down. That's my opinion. I disagree with him. I disagree.

Well I guess we will agree. Disagree. Disagree. What are you, a part of the weather underground now, Henry? What's going on? It's an act of domestic terrorism. I just think that all media has been lying to us and they should all double check themselves. You're going to say, yet he's fake?

Oh yeah? Oh yeah? 35 years young today. Look at this. I feel like, because I even, because what I like too, I'm in fucking satanistically fucking twist this shit, where one of their researchers, a man by the name of a molecular biologist, Ross Barnett, he said the quote, which to him, I imagine it is snide in making fun of us, but I'm actually going to flip it and say that he's correct, where he says,

you can't kill a legend with anything as mundane as facts. And you're like, yeah, you can't. What's the fucking legend? Because you can go for the king. Don't fucking miss. Absolutely. Now I'm thinking about the movie legend. That's a good one.

But now the interesting thing about these Yeti tracks is there seems as if there's just one. So there was a lot of speculation. Maybe it's a one legged Yeti. Perhaps this is a Yeti on a pogo stick and it kind of was having a difficult time pogoing. Why, why just? No, there are several, there are, no, there are several prints. They set one in. If you look at the track of prints, it is several prints.

Well, I'm, I'm seeing a little bit of a different piece of information here, but. I'm looking at the picture. I believe you. I believe you. And of course, I'm looking at the article from the Washington Post because you know what, Marcus? Democracy dies in the dark. That's what my subscription says. This is an article about the Yeti footprints in Nepal.

Without the Washington Post, what is freedom? Do you like the Washington Post? Have we talked about this earlier this week? I like the fact that it's a legit newspaper. Yes. All right. So wetty footprints have been found in India. I'm assuming that cryptozoologists are going to be fighting about this vigorously for the

next 10 to 15 years. But you know what? It's going to keep them alive. And then the next time we go to Comic Con, coming up here in July will be in San Diego. We'll be able to run into the cryptozoologists that scammed Henry into buying a Yeti foot prayer once again. And do you know what Henry's going to do? Buy another one.

Oh, no. That was not. There's no scam because I put my belief in it. And it's fun for us to have in the house. And it's a nice conversation piece because people go like, is that really a big footprint? And you go like, get out of my house. I know the big foot fake footprint guy cannot afford a table at San Diego Comic Con. That was at Salt Lake City.

Though that was Salt Lake City. And if you'd like to come out and see us at Salt Lake City, come on out. We're coming back this time. Come on out. It's going to be a good show. I think it is going to be a good show. And you can get out from your homes. And we have a lot of freaky fans out in Salt Lake City.

So you want to all get your bodies together so you can all ride together and hopefully go home and squirt into each other. Well, maybe if it's a match. If it's a match. And of course we have had a lot of people fall in love from our show. We've had a couple of divorces caused by our show. But overall we've had more people find love than lose love. Our friend Amira, also I want to say this.

Our friend Amira just sent me this thing. I wish that we could listen to it on air and just like literally not do our show and just play this show. It is, I didn't know, Art Bell did a three hour interview with Merle Haggard. Yes, I heard about that. And I must hear these two old men just spit peanut shells out of their teeth as they ramble. I really would like to hear that, you know, with Merle Haggard. No, they're talking truths, man. They're spinning yong.

I know, but Merle, what was the famous song from Michigan there? The tune that he had where he's... From Michigan or are you talking Oki from Muskogee? Oki from Muskogee. Yeah, yeah, that's from Oklahoma. Oklahoma. He said that ruined his career because people took him literally on that. And he said he was just trying to be satirical and make fun of the people of the time.

Oh yeah, the hag's too smart for him. I know. Yeah, that's how it is. You can't be, that's the problem with satire. It's defeated if you think it's real. Yeah, well you can't be a square in outlaw country. Yeah. Not allowed.

I mean David, well David Allen Coe was sleeping out of a hearse. Yes. He was one of the more craziest ones. Well, he was also the whiniest one. Well, that is the one thing. It's very interesting opinion, it's true. Because Marcus pointed that out, I never thought of David Allen Coe as sort of like he feels bad for himself. And then you listen to all of his songs and you're like, oh wow, this is all about him being like bitter and like he's like mad.

Yeah, like he wrote everything in the back of a hearse. He wrote all of his songs parked in a Nashville street in a hearse. No, all of David, not all, but a lot of David Allen Coe songs are just him being whiny and insecure. Yes, and then you have the racism. There are problems. He's a problematic character. But I'm just saying, Whalen was never whiny. No.

Absolutely not, man. John. Whalen's still my favorite. Whalen's my favorite of the whole group. Yeah. Oh, of course, yeah. And David Allen Coe, it's whiny, it's insecure, and it's just name dropping constantly. I mean, for fuck's sake, Whalen, Willie, and me, that's just him talking about hanging out with his more famous friends.

Yes. Hey, man. Wait till you have my, I start my country career with just, with the first song just being, I used to Caprio's bathroom once. It was nice. Like I said, I will do that. I will use this. The amount of times that you have named Drapoli in order to Caprio is actually amazing considering you met him for 38 minutes.

You know, we did spend months together, but it's all I have. I also was in, I was in a room with Bobby De Niro several times who told me, I told you, you gave me my biggest compliment I've ever received. I did a seat with him and he just looked at me and went, you, you're good. That's it. That's it. That's pretty good. Wow, that's amazing.

Yeah, he's fucking dead now, man. I can't believe it. So sad. No, Robert De Niro isn't dead. Why? He's still alive? He's doing great. What is this?

Fucking Easter? All right, enough of this, enough of this artist talk. That's for page seven, okay? They, Jackie will do a whole segment on outlaw country. I'm sure, I'm sure she loves it. I don't know. When is page seven going to have a drunk uncle takeover? All I know is.

It's just going to be you and me. We should cover page seven where it's just me and Kessel legitimately hammered where we go, we get some whiskey and you just hear whaling in the background. If us, she's been like, man, man could be misunderstood. Say it once while you hear puffs of cigar. Yeah. It is always funny, the person who, the man who would be like, yes, men are misunderstood are always the easiest men to understand.

Because it's always just like, yes, man, no one understands me. I just like pretzels. I like beer. No one gets it. Super guy. No one gets it. Everyone gets it. You like curbs.

You're a carb guy. We got it. Fly from your grave. Fly from your grave. But speaking of having a little bit of beer, maybe some pretzels, Henry, Marcus, on vacation, in Iceland, let's hear all about this experience that you had with witchcraft and sorcery. What I love is that Marcus went on vacation and still managed to do work. You still managed to absorb information and come back.

Now how did, Carolina, she goes with you willingly. Of course. No, she loves this stuff just as much as I do. Thank God. Yeah. Sorry. So you land in Iceland. How do you end up at this museum?

And what is this presentation you're about to lay on? Well, we landed in Reykjavik. But the Icelandic Museum of Sorcery and Witchcraft is up in Holmivik, which is in the West Fjords, which is about three and a half hours north of Reykjavik. So we had to rent a car and drive all the way up, like drive through mountains, drive on cliffs, almost died like three or four times driving through that dangerous fucking country. It was amazing. When you were driving, was it one of those like three-wheeled cars that I saw in like

the old National Ampuns European vacation called like the Snart Looper? Three hectares to the rod. You're right. Yeah, what kind of car did you drive? It was a Subaru. But they have weird kind of cars that like there was one car called like a T4 Cactus. Yeah, and another one's like called like a Dustin Destin. It was very strange.

But yeah, drove a Subaru up there. Is it opposite ends of the road? No, it's not. It's pretty much the same as driving in America, but all the signs are in different languages. It feels like you're driving in a dream. Cool. Yeah, or like a video game. I think it's called jet lag.

Yeah. Well, it's only like five hours ahead. It's not too bad at all. Okay. Yeah, but it was pretty fantastic. So we drove up to the Icelandic Museum of Sorcery and Witchcraft, which I recommend so much for anybody who's going to Iceland. Because when you're up there in Holmavik, like in the West Fjords, it is a place where like

sorcery feels real. Like it feels like that these people actually like you can feel the sorcery in the air that people once believed in sorcery with all of their hearts. Cool. Now they still take it pretty vaguely seriously, right? Like I know a long time ago we covered things about the Hildefiq and all this kind of shit. But did you glean anything while over there that they still do those practices? Because I know that they used to do construction.

If they did construction in Reykjavik or various places around Iceland, they'd have to ask the Hildefiq for permission in order to build. Well, at one point they were going to build a highway through what was a ferry mound, but then decided after a fair amount of accidents, which might have been caused more by nervous superstition than actual Hildefiq, but they decided to forgo the project. They decided to abandon it. What do you mean a ferry mound? What's going on here?

It's like a little mound where fairies live. Oh. Yeah, it's a ferry home. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, don't destroy that. But the cool thing about Iceland, specifically like Icelandic sorcery, it's like with European sorcery, it feels made up. And by made up, I mean it feels like that they just sort of like, it came from witch trials,

people just speaking stream of consciousness. It feels like complete and total nonsense. Because as we know, like a lot of European or, you know, mainland European witchcraft, it was a scapegoat type of thing. I mean, it was a lot of people that were acting groovy, they were wanting to explore the limits of their sexuality and explore the limits of humanity and end up getting burned down for it. And basically, all of the evidence of witchcraft that was used at various trials and all of the witness testimony about the supposed witchcraft that people either accusing people of or were

accused of, were then those kind of pieces of information. Those were the things that were compiled into things like the maleus maleficarum where they built it all by all of the lies that everybody else was saying about the real beliefs that people may or may not have been doing. Whether or not you truly were a pagan or you were a druid, they would take these things and they would twist it in order to kind of like amalgamate it into a book where they could eventually use it to fucking hammer the witches with. Oh, no.

And of course, when Marcus mentions pushing their limits of sexuality, you know what it stops with but stuff, as soon as they say, oh, that's the limit. That's it. I'm pretty sure that's it. That's why they say it's a fucking limit when all of their tortures involve sticking things up your fucking ass and spreading it. I don't know. But the difference with Icelandic sorcery is that it was a man in a frozen hut on the

like on the coast huddled over a pile of whale teeth scratching runes into each one and believing in it wholeheartedly. That's awesome. It is truly, truly metal. What is he? What's he scratching into these whale teeth? Runes. What's a rune?

A rune is a magical symbol that holds power. Different runes hold different powers used for different spells and different rituals. Ah, you know what it's like? Rummy cube. Much like Rummy cube. I want to be mad, but you're correct. Technically it calls, you know, the runic alphabet is also called foothark. It's a writing system and they actually don't know what the fucking true origins of runes

are. They say they believe it's somewhere from the third century to the sixteenth century that it might have been invented. So it's a big guess. It's a hell of a window. While I was at the Sorcery Museum, they have a wonderful guidebook and I'm going to go through a couple of things that they covered at the Sorcery Museum, but what I'm going to be talking about is only a tiny fraction of what you can learn if you actually go there.

And if you go there, there might be a chance of experiencing an earthquake because when we were in the Sorcery Museum, we were up on the second floor, alerting all about an old Icelandic wizard and the entire building shook. Cool. The entire building vibrated. It was so fucking cool. All right. But the region where the Sorcery Museum is is called Strandir and again, pronunciation.

It's fine. Doing my best. Nailed it. Yeah. I feel like you're closer with these ones because at least you've hung out with Ragnar quite a bit. Yeah. I'm better with Germanic languages than Romantic languages.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's known as the land of the cunning sorcerer. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And it is reflected in this ditty from one of the neighboring countries. Quote, the hero fell on his head, his limbs in pain. It is unwise to wrestle with the sorcerers of Strandir. Yeah. Because you get all dirty. I guess so.

He fell down like a marathoner, finishing the race there. Not good. Imagine what it smells like to be inside the Strandir's hut and they're all with the rotten shark and him. It's like all his pubes all dreaded and all just covered in whale teeth oil. I don't know. Because Strandir is not a man. Strandir is a regent.

Oh. Well, same. Interesting. It's like the mall of Strandir. What are you going there? What's the fucking hot topic like there? Come on guys. Let's go.

Come on. I bet you it doesn't smell that bad. It's very cold. That's good. Here in New York City, we're going through our transition from cold into warm, which is also the transition from not smelling so bad to smelling like rotten fish and toenails. Mom? Is that you, mom?

Yeah. What are we talking about? I like my mic because that's the beginning of every call with my mom. It's been like, oh, what temperature is it in Los Angeles? Yeah. Well, it's 85 here. It's going to be 80 throughout the week. It's going to rain a little bit and then, oh, Henry Thomas, you would believe.

There's a new Heron. Oh, my birdie came and I fed it hot dogs. I fed it hot dogs all day. I cannot imagine a more boring conversation than someone from Florida talking to somebody in Los Angeles, California about the weather. How long, at least in Wisconsin, when you mentioned the weather, there is something to talk about. Things have to be addressed. My uncle died.

It's no storm, huh? Hey, Ben, you want to know how to make yourself invisible? Yeah, absolutely. I would love that. All right. Here's how you do it. According to Icelandic sorcery. Collect three drops of blood from the index finger of your left hand, three from the ring finger

of your right hand, two from your right nipple, and one from your left nipple. Mix the blood with six drops of blood from the heart of a living raven and melt it with the raven's brain and pieces of a human stomach. Carve the sign on the lignite with magnetic steel, which has been hardened three times in human blood. Then, using that lignite, using that little stone, one can become invisible. Well, would you know it? I actually just, like almost like a cooking show, I just whipped that up myself, and I

just ingested it, and now I'm taking off my clothes. No one can see me do what I'm doing right now. Oh, no, we can't see it. Oh, no. Oh, no. We can see it. The water in the perverts rock. To be invisible is really just about masturbating at people.

Yeah. In your estimation, in your version of things. What would you use being invisible for? Try to figure it out without just saying jerk it off. Because you know what the problem is, is that you'd have to at least jerk off once to get it out of your system, so you could stop thinking about it like that. But is your ejaculate, to use the scientific term, also invisible? I don't think so.

You would have to- That's the funnest game of all. So then you're just gonna- And it just looks like a fucking, it's just fucking weird ectoplasm, and they think it's the 18th century, and they're like, oh, is it Houdini? And they don't know it's me, just fucking with my two tablespoons of semen, just waiting for them. But when you're invisible, nowadays they got the heat sensors, as we learned with the

Prisoner Escape a couple of years ago here upstate New York. That's right, I forgot about that prison break, that was awesome. I was in Toronto, and I remember that they were like coming for Toronto, and all of Canada was like batting down for the two people running over. Yeah, I think, what was it, Richard Sweat or something like that? Richard Sweat, yeah. There's another dude. I don't think being invisible sounds that fun though, honestly, because you still have

your physical form, so you're still getting bumped into all the time. No one really knows what they're hitting. No, it's like having a sketch show, no, being invisible is like having a sketch show on Netflix, where you produce it, and it goes out, and you're like, hey, hey, hey, I have to work really hard on this. And nobody notices, and it's like you never did it. But listen to this about the witch trials in Iceland. There were 170 witch trials in Iceland after the Reformation in 1550.

Twenty men, and one women were burnt at the stake for being a witch. That's the difference between Iceland and other European countries, and really a lot of the rest of the world is that the vast majority of people in Iceland accused of witchcraft were men. Interesting, but did they all get executed like we do? Was it back in the day where basically if you were accused, you are essentially guilty? No, absolutely not. No, out of the 170 people accused of witchcraft, 20 men and one women were burnt at the stake,

and one in every four of the accused was flogged, and sometimes they flogged them just in case. You got to. You bought all these whips. You gotta use them. And a quarter of them were able to prove their innocence. Now, how did they prove their innocence? Because in the US, what did we do here? They would throw them in a goddamn river or something with a bunch of rocks around their

ankles, and they would say if they drowned, they're not a witch, and if they come up, they are a witch, so then they hang them anyway. We would make them guilty. Yes, exactly. And Iceland, if you could get 12 friends to vouch that you were a good dude, most of the time you'd get off. 12? Yeah.

You have to get... That's a lot of friends to get a goal show up to help you. Yeah. It's family time. Mass emails I sent about moving, and no one wanted to come help you move. You imagine having to send a mass email being like, hey, we please come to court and tell these people I'm not a witch, because you'd have a bunch of people being like, oh, I fucking totally forgot that was fucking Wednesday, dude.

Oh, man. I totally would have been there if it wasn't like 8.30 in the morning. My life depends on this, man. Can you just please show up? Please, God. Yeah, dude. That's totally, absolutely, man. Yeah.

What day is it again? Wednesday. Hey, Murray. Can you resend me the email? Oh, God. I'm going to die. Yeah. Well, it wasn't actual 12.

You didn't have to get all 12. You just had to get the majority of 12 to say you were a good dude. But if you couldn't get 12 people, or the majority of 12 people to say, like, you're a good dude and not a witch, then that was seen as proof of guilt. So the 21 people that died were just lonely? They just didn't have enough friends to live? That is so sad. That was the big drawback that they point out at the Sorcery Museum is that in a justice

system of this kind, unpopular people with bad reputations had very little chance of clearing their names. Judge, I'd just like to point out I am an introvert. I don't have a lot of friends, Judge. Well, that's why we punish the introverts because we do not trust them. You're always plotting. Always thinking of schemes, going against the beautiful, wonderful, innocent extroverts. You know what?

This judge is onto something. Introverts are scary. Well, as far as who carried out the sentences, sentences were carried out by an executioner, but at local courts, it was the sheriff's task to find suitable persons for the job, but fairly soon it became the custom to let minor criminals do the job in exchange for their own punishment. That is literally the plot from your pretty faces going to hell. But hold on a second.

So, in exchange for their punishment, they just get to kill someone else? They have to. I don't think they wanted to. In the case of Jön Jönsson, more than 30 blows were necessary before his head came off because the edge of the axe wound up as if a rock was underneath it. You gotta get a knife sharpener, run it through a couple of times. Well, I also find it interesting that they truly did burn all of these people to death, where we actually, that's kind of a misnomer for our witch hunt because we hung most witches

instead of burning them. Yeah, and the Icelanders burned their witches, which was a big deal because wood is not plentiful in that country. I mean, a lot of it is like driftwood that they had to harvest from the sea. Wouldn't you do it with like seal blubber? No, they did it with driftwood. Ooh, that would make the, if it wasn't a human meal, a little seal blubber there, probably good.

So no seal blubber. No seal blubber used to burn people as far as I could tell. Well, why would you use seal, doesn't seal blubber just work in like candles and stuff because it doesn't burn that fast? Shut up. That was the whole point of the blubber. Well, do you want to hear some of the stories of the 21 that were executed? You know where to do it.

Papa Marcus? Yes, Papa Marcus. Tell us about the execution. No belt zone. No belt zone with Papa Marcus is a good new video for yourself. Let's start. Well, in 1654, Aigl Bjarnensen was burnt in Trekelstjevik, Srandir, after confessing that he had killed a sheep with magic and made a contract with a devil.

What if it was just a hammer that he called magic? Yeah, it could be. Was this confession unsolicited? They don't really talk a lot about how the confessions were extracted, but it does, it does not sound like they put them through a lot of torture to get the confessions because there were quite a few people who went to the stake still screaming, see my innocence, see my innocence. But there was one dude named Haldor Finn Boggesson who was burnt at Thinvalier who recited

Our Father Who Art in Hell all throughout his trials. Yeah, he fucking did. That's what you fucking got to do. If you're already going to the fucking stakes, it's fucking die with your boots on, man. That's the only way to live, bro. That is so interesting. Do you ever watch The Last Waltz, the band, The Last Waltz? Henry, you've seen this, right?

Many times. It's amazing. They have that one Icelandic or Norwegian poet on there. Remember that? And he says, he makes puns about the Lord's Prayer or something like that. Anyway, that's very interesting. Icelandic poet, The Last Waltz. Now I'm looking it up because I don't want to see what this is.

It's a horrible poem. The first thing to pop up is Icelandic band Samaras talk poetry and incest apps. I don't know. Don't click on it, whatever it is. Never mind. Well, in 1656, Jön Jönsson Jr. was burnt in Skutl's Fjordor door. No, wait. That is Skutl's Fjordor.

It is an extremely difficult language because it's Germanic. Since it's more Germanic, it is like a bunch of words all put together. And you don't recognize half of the symbols. It's really fun to try to get around when you're in a car. Cool. Are they truly, like, because how insider is the culture of Iceland? Like, I want to know, like, is it kind of like truly homegrown? Were they that isolated with these kind of these folklore periods?

Or was there a lot of travel? Were there a lot of like trade coming in and out that they would kind of, certain, like, folklore and beliefs would leak? From what I understand, from what I remember, I believe Iceland was founded in around, like, in the 900s of the AD. And they came from, I think, Norway because they didn't want to pay taxes. Oh. And they created the world's first and oldest parliament, the Arlfingi.

Interesting. But a lot of their stuff is homegrown. I mean, it's definitely, I mean, it's very Norse influenced, of course. Like, they brought over all of the, you know, the Aesir and all that. But they're really, I don't think there's a whole lot of mixing with other countries. It is pretty homegrown. But the witch trials in Iceland, those were kind of implanted from Germany because a couple of guys went over to Germany,

saw all the stuff that was going on with the witch trials there. And it's not a coincidence that most of the witch trials in Iceland happened in the 17th century. The same time that, you know, the devils were happening over in France. Same time the stuff was happening in Germany. So that the witch hunts were actually imported from another country. And very... Excellent.

Yes, very in vogue across the world. The guy I was thinking of with the bands of the Last Walls, Lawrence Ferlingetti. And he performed the last prayer. Yeah, Lawrence Ferlingetti, he's not Icelandic. I don't know what he is. Lawrence Ferlingetti? He was a, I believe, Ferlingetti, I believe he was a beat poet, right? I don't know!

He's white hair, I'm just like... I think he's from Brooklyn. I don't know where he's from. Looks like Icelandic. I might be thinking of another guy as well. There's a lot, there's one dude that's like, hoitjitortitorti, there's another one of those guys, and I forget where that is.

Maybe that's not in the Last Walls. I don't know. I'm really mad about this prayer. This is like, yeah, this is nothing even Icelandic or anything about it. It's just a fucking prayer to God. Yeah. You just did this thing, Kissel. No, not...

Maybe read this. I'm not looking at this thing, I'm looking at Lawrence Ferlingetti, an incredible beat poet. I actually do like a lot of his work, but I don't want to fucking deal with any of this fucking Jesus Christ bullshit. No, it's not that... First of all... Let's get back to Icelandic sources.

All right, all right, all right. Jan Janssen admitted to having used magical signs and, among other things, having used farting runes against a girl. What do you mean? Farting runes. What's a farting ruin? It's called a fraternir. Oh, don't...

So it made her fart? I think he farted on her. Farting has been used as a weapon for a long, long time. It really has, yes. The mystical farting runes of Iceland. But now... Don't bring it up around Marcus, because you get sensitive like last time when we started talking about someone

who was the target of a bunch of farts. Yeah, I flipped it and reversed it. Farts are now one of the funniest things in the world to me. I'm not fucking traumatized by farts or anything like that. I'm just saying those of us in the world get farted on. You know, we're a minority that deserve representation. Absolutely. I completely agree with you.

So what did this mean then? So he was simply a sorcerer or a witch because he farted near a girl or a woman or something? Well, farting runes. I don't think we need a rune just to fart on somebody. I don't know. You can just do that. Farting runes are much more intense than you might think. Okay.

Farting runes are used to afflict your belly with great shitting and shooting pains. And all these may afflict your belly with very great farting. May your bones split asunder. May your guts burst. May your farting never stop. Mother day nor night. May you become as weak as the fiend Loki who was snared by all the gods. Oh!

So that's a farting rune. Interesting. That's awesome. It is used on somebody else. He wanted to make, wow, this sounds like there's a lot of wires across here. He was just trying to make a chick super farty. I guess so. This seems like a really bizarre new addition to Marvel's end game when Loki somehow helps

a woman fart or makes a woman fart through the second half of the film. And that was his end game altogether. So he can stand underneath her and collect the farts in his mouth like it's a Pittsburgh platter. When 1671 Sigurdir Djonsson was burnt in Tingubleir after a trial in Ispjärdjölistjäljäljärr. Ah, damn it, that's a hard one. I've been- No one's gonna be upset by this.

No one's gonna be upset. It is a small country. But anyways, he admitted among other things that he had fought a ghost and frightened it off with the help of herbs and semen. Yeah, that's just like that Don Knott's movie. What is it? Uh, Mr. Chicken and some ghost or something like that? What's the name of that movie?

Mr. Chicken and the Ghost? Mr. Chicken and the Ghost. I swear to God. Yeah, I remember that whole movie. My red-headed movie, yeah. It's End the Ghost. Is this one of your fucking stroke movies? No, this is not Mr. Chicken.

It's an old stag film where it's just him fucking a chicken with Bob Hope stroking it in the corner being like, they're gonna name an airport after me. Shit, dude, we actually have to apologize here. Don Knott was in a movie called The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, yes. He's Mr. Chicken. I know Don Knott. It was one of the only things my parents let me watch.

Uh-huh, yep. He starred as Luther Heggs, a newspaper typesetter who spends a night in a haunted house. Thank you. So, my question is, they caught him trying to ward off a ghost using semen and spices? Well, that was one of the things that he did. But he admitted to doing that and various other things. He probably got caught with like grimoire pages and things like that, which getting caught with grimoire pages in Iceland at that time was a capital offense.

What have we got with these grimoire pages? What are we talking here? Grimoires are magical books of spells and such. Spells and rituals and all that. Now you can just buy them on fucking Amazon. I want to say, again, and we covered this a little bit, not this time. I forgot the last time we did a whole thing about witches getting burned. But we are in a golden age of being able to just say you're a witch.

Like, the fact that I can go and be a Satanist openly. Like, I learned a little bit that from the Hail Satan documentary. I'm the only one who got to watch it. I wish that you guys could watch it so we could talk about it. But I watched it and I loved it. But it is like this liberating thing to understand being... This is the only era of humankind where I can stand up and say, I worship the devil and there's no two police officers to come take me to the stocks

and then flog me and then burn me at the stake. But you know what? I almost think that that's worse. Because it's fun. Now everyone's a witch. Everyone's a witch. Everyone's a Satanist. And it used to be fun when it was like, ooh, edgy, risque.

And now it's very... We can't be like the people that got mad when Monos Mouse made good news for people who love bad news. We can't be like that. It's a great album. What are you talking? Who was mad about that? We can't be mad about mainstream success of the things we enjoy.

Like this is where they're supposed to go. They catch on. These ideas catch on and that's what causes the fire. Eventually it will be shut down again. We are in the middle of a very Lawrence Welk period. This is a very conservative period for society, which is why it is like this. I don't know. But I will say that was one of the best Monos Mouse albums

and the only band that I ever would agree with that sort of changed a little bit. Green Day, I thought Geek Stink Breath was incredible. But then they did get a little bit too... I don't know. They went and they had some meetings. And they were like, you need to have some slow songs. But I still like Green Day. I still like Green Day.

The first few albums are still pretty fun. I agree. It's still pretty great. I'll rock to some dookie. You want to know how to raise the dead? I actually would like to do this. But the question is, do you raise them back into their full form or do you just raise up a skeleton that has a bunch of meat dripping off of it?

You raise up a draugr. So you're essentially raising a corpse to do mischief against your foes. Like a golem. Yeah. Okay. But a golem is like you're making a... You're constructing it. You're constructing it.

This is raising the dead to do your bidding. Okay. And that's also voodoo, does that too, voodoo, and then so does fucking just straight up necromancy. Listen to this. Okay. This sign you should carve on oak and then color it with blood. The blood must be from the big toe of your right foot and the thumb of your left hand. Lay the sign on the grave and then walk three times clockwise and three times anti-clockwise around the church.

Three spurts of earth will then spew from the grave. At the last one, the sorcerer must be prepared to receive the dead. Grab the ghost by his neck and squeeze until he asks for lenience. Only then should the ghost be prepared for the tasks in hand. If these be great and many, more preparation is needed and more than one sorcerer. Yes. Yes. So if you need the ghost to go and kill someone, you're gonna need a couple of sorcerers.

You want a couple of sorcerers there and no matter what you're getting good exercise, those churches are huge. So you're gonna walk three times around and three times around again. This is, I think, a point that is missing in a lot of modern-day witchcraft. I think it's important. If you want to be a witch, you should also be doing strength training. And this is not even a bit. It's not even a bit. As a sorcerer, this is what it shows, is that sorcery, as far as I'm concerned, is both a mental and physical discipline.

You need to be able to have total control of your body, which is why Alistair Crowley brought yoga into the mix. You have to connect your mind to your body to be one singular force. So I like the idea of not only do you have to bring about, like you do the spell, you do an actual physical thing where you hurt yourself in order to gain the magic back. Like you hurt yourself to pay the magic bill. And then when the dead rise, you gotta fucking wrestle it to the ground for it to do what you gotta do. It's like how you hire a personal assistant. Is there any witchcraft MX card?

Can I not do the two? You want Miles? I just want to not do the bleeding. I don't want to be the limping all over the place. There's no shortcuts. No shortcuts. Alright, well that's why I'll stick to Diamond Dallas Page Yoga, which I have started to do. How, in what way have you started to do the DDP yoga?

I watched the videos on YouTube. Yes, I figured so. Yes, indeed. I did! Well, if you want another kind of helper, there is a creature that you can create known as the Tilbury. To acquire a til- and this is something that only a woman can do. To acquire a Tilbury, the woman has to steal a human rib from a churchyard in the early hours of Whitsunday, wrap it in grey wool and keep it between her breasts. The next three times she takes Holy Communion, she must spit the sacrament wine over the bundle carried between her breasts.

The third spurt of holy wine will bring the Tilbury to life from the human rib. When it grows larger and the mother can no longer conceal it in her bosom, she must cut loose a piece of skin on the inside of her thigh and make a nipple which the Tilbury will hang onto and draw nourishment from her body fluids. When the creature gets big enough, the mother orders him to steal milk from other farmers. He then runs out and moves very fast over the fields and steals milk from sheep and cows and delivers it into the mother's churn. The mother then makes butter out of it, so-called Tilbarastymor. And when the mother gets older and the Tilbury becomes too big a burden for her because it's like a long worm-like animal with the face of a baby. It's terrifying. They have a representation of it in the Icelandic Museum of Witchcraft. They have a couple of them in there that an artist has made.

An artist went into the Museum of Sorcery and Witchcraft and made some really fantastic representations of some of these items. And the Tilbury in particular is wonderful. But when the Tilbury becomes too big a burden and she can no longer tolerate his sucking of the thigh nipple, she has to order him to gather all the lamb shit in three counties. And since there are so many sheep in Iceland, this will cause the Tilbury to burst of exhaustion because he's constantly in a hurry to get back to his nipple. It really sounds like the last eight hours of Red Dead Redemption when you just basically have to do exactly that for no frickin' reason whatsoever. It's like with the Okachi birds. What was that in Final Fantasy 7 where you have to go and you have to fucking raise all the birds to get the eggs to go and get the Super Sand bullshit? You know what I'm talking about?

I never played that one. Yeah, I never played seven. I do understand the meticulous duties that many of these games require you to do. And I would say I don't want to be a farmer in real life. I just want to shoot someone. But anyway, sometimes... No, I don't like all that stuff. It's like same thing with Skyrim where you have to spend several hours learning how to be a blacksmith.

That's when I stop playing those games because I don't have the patience for it. I don't know, the smithing is one of my favorite parts of Skyrim though. See, this is why it's designed for specific people. Yeah, very much so. Okay. But of course, the most famous item at the Icelandic Museum of Sorcery and Witchcraft is the Necropants. What are the Necropants? The Necropants, is that where mayhem goes to shop?

That's a really fun, super, super evil clothing store. It's like a new torrid. Just going back to that last story a little bit, do you think it was written down by someone wearing no pants? Because it seems very sexual. Are all of these things just secret porno? Wouldn't you have the penthouse forums? It has more to do with where does life come from? That's where a lot of the nipples stuff comes from.

It's like where does life come from? Where is the first place that we all suckle? That would be Mother's Teeth. On her side. I've been rereading Prometheus Rising and Robin Anton Wilson has a whole breakdown of breasts and what it means. What breasts mean to society. It's pretty great. He has a whole section being like, I'd love to hear every mountaineer explain why they have to climb every conicler mountain by saying because it was there. He's basically saying every mountain's a giant tit and every mountaineer just wants to get to the nipples.

Honey, don't bother me right now. I'm writing my chapter on boobs. Have you read any Robert Anton Wilson? No. None of you. I assume, Marcus, I assume that you have. No, I like the documentaries. You like The Reader's Digest. Oh, my dad used to, my dad submitted something to Reader's Digest. Did you get it?

Rejected. Well, the Necropants is the most famous thing at the Icelandic Museum of Sorcery and Witchcraft. It makes its way around the internet every once in a while. I mean, it's based on a legend. What the legend says is that here's where Necropants come from because a lot of Icelandic sorcery actually has to do with getting money. Because back then, there were a couple of lords up at the top and then everyone else was poor as shit. And you couldn't work your way up. It wasn't like a meritocracy where you could eventually work your way up.

It's like when you were at the bottom, you fucking stayed at the bottom. I am just so happy that you said back then, Marcus, as opposed to exactly where we're living now. Well, what Necropants does, they got you money. So how you got Necropants? Here's how you made Necropants. Right before a friend of yours died, you had to ask him permission to use his skin. If he says yes after he dies, you dig him up and you flay the skin from the waist down, including the dick and ball. If I skinned Henry from the waist down, including the dick and balls, I'd look like the Incredible Hulk with a tiny dick hanging out.

I would look like he's like wearing his shorts that would go just above my kneecap. Yes, it would just be like little bike shorts super, super stretched out on your knees. Yes, so you're not going to ask Henry. You're going to ask like your brother, someone who is of similar size to you. Yeah, I can't wear, yeah, it's like I can't go and have kissle fucking, I can't skin kissle because it looks like I'm wearing a big pile of ginger overall. Yeah, I mean, you would have to go to some bizarre person, maybe like the Sawyer family from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, ask to get your fucking human legs hemmed, your human pants hemmed, and maybe that could work out. Maybe. I mean, I would definitely go bigger over smaller.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, of course you go bigger over smaller, yeah, you take them in. So after you dig them up, you flay them, you make pants out of the skin, the legs and, you know, the dick and balls, but the balls are the most important part, dick not so much. But the balls, you have to have the balls hanging there. Why? Let me get to it. So you put the pants on, you put the Necro pants on, and then they become a part of you, but you also have a second scrotum, and then once they become a part of you, you take a coin and insert the coin into the scrotum, and then from that day forth, whenever you need money, you simply reach into the scrotum and pull out a coin.

It's a fanny pack. It's a fanny pack made of balls. A fanny pack made of balls that holds infinite coins. Okay. See, and it's worth it. So just cut to you at the video game arcade, just digging in your crotch to get another coin out as the cops take you away, and be like, no, that's where I keep my money. Listen, X-Men on me, kids.

Just let me... It's like reaching into my fucking severed ball bag to give them all quarters. That's pretty amazing. Yeah. And so, yeah, and the reason why, I love this, the reason why the witchcraft trials ended in Iceland, is because it just got too cold. They had a series of really difficult winners, and so everyone just got into it. I don't fucking care about witchcraft anymore. I don't fucking care about witchcraft anymore.

Just fucking stay inside. That is honestly saved by the weather. Yes. Saved by the cold weather. Saved by the weather. I want to learn more about this, because I just scratched the surface on Icelandic sorcery here, and what you can see at the Icelandic store, and they're not paying me. I just want people to go.

I just want people to go. No, you should go. Yeah. We used to see it with the Cryptomuseum in Portland, Maine. Yeah, go on up there. Go. Be careful when you're driving, though. There's no shit.

That's what my buddy told me. There's no shame in turning back when you're driving in Iceland. You can download an app that tells you which roads are passable and which ones aren't. Wait, why don't they just make better roads? I'm not even being rude. No, the roads themselves are fantastic, and extremely well-kept, except for when you get on the gravel roads over on the sides. Yeah, some of the gravel roads are, you know, that's a little dicey, especially when you're driving off of like a fucking 60-foot cliff.

Oh, yeah. That's horrifying. Yeah, it is horrifying. Do they not drive a lot of pickups over there? Yeah, I mean, most people have like SUVs and stuff like that. But we were driving up through some mountains, and a snowstorm had started on top of the mountain and was blowing snow down in a drift. And it really was, it was like someone had drawn a line between there is snow to the right,

but there's no snow to the left. And as soon as we, I was like, you know, I can handle this, I can try this out. We had driven through some like tundra stuff earlier. There was a little dicey, but we made it through. And I got about 10 feet in and just said, I have lost my confidence. Yep. And then put it in reverse. Like, nope, we got to go back.

We got to go take the long way around. So when you're driving an Iceland, especially, you know, the winter months, or because we went in like late March, like going up to Holmavik, like it can get very dangerous. So be careful when you go up there. But, you know, when you get up there, like you really do feel like, necessarily that, you know, sorcery is real, but you know that people believed that sorcery was real.

It wasn't like, you know, like I said earlier, it wasn't like in, you know, Western Europe where, you know, you feel like people were just using it for their own gain. Of course, people did use it for their own gain in Iceland as well. But, you know, you feel that it has a presence there, that it doesn't have anywhere else that I've been. Cool. All right.

I miss places of presence. There's something about that that it's really wonderful. There was like a thing that we, like Natalie and I on our honeymoon, we had this one dinner outside, right? We went to have this, we had a private dinner outside, and we were in front of the pink moon that was rising, was the rose moon, whatever you call it, the plush moon, or something like that.

It rose and the moon was completely pink. And we had this like moment where it was like, we're literally eating dinner with the moon. You feel this because it's like an actual like the spot of nature where it's like, wow, you could see why when ancient man was here and they were all on these beaches and they would come to these beaches and see this thing that was essentially an entity.

They had no clue what the moon really was yet. And they see this thing rise and you can feel this moment of, oh, this is what it means to be attuned to the heavens. This is what presence is. You could sit and watch it. I love that fucking bullshit. Absolutely. The West Fjords of Iceland, if you go like right around like in the May

beginning of April, yeah, you'll really, like you still get, it's still, it's not a completely overblown in snow, but you still get enough snow where you really feel like that isolation that really makes you feel good. All right, there it is. I always like to go camping when I do feel attuned, in tune with nature. That does work. You got to do it.

You got to do it. We're not campers. If you are, you're not going to go out and camp. We are. We love camping. It's one of my favorite things to do. And if you do, if you are, if you haven't broken your brain as many times as most of us here on this show have, take a bit of a nice mushroom,

go camping, and you'll have yourself in a magical evening staring at the stars and having, getting in touch with nature. All right. Well, very cool. Very fun indeed. Is there anything else that we want to cover here today? I think that's all we got. Okay.

I think we did it. I think we landed her in the harbor. Another beautiful, relaxed fit. Last podcast on the left. I feel my knees have a lot of room in these content genes we've created. And I am ready to sully forth into the world. So Henry, it's your birthday weekend. Do you, I see you're wearing your pumpkin head shirt.

That's what all 35, because he's 35 now. So he's, he's, where he's an adult finally. I like, I can choose to dress like an 11 year old that made money. I love it. No, I actually love pumpkin head. I think, aren't they going to remake pumpkin head? They've been talking about doing a problem. No, that's my, that's my pitch.

I want them to remake pumpkin head. I have several ideas for a remake of pumpkin head. I love pumpkin head, but what are your big plans for the weekend? Um, anything. I'm a set. You're going to set. I'm a set. The whole weekend you're just going to set.

I bought new, I bought a bunch of new weed. I'm going to let that entertain me. I have to clean my house, Kissel. This is a 35 year old stuff like this. I have a house for like, there's like, we have one spare room in the apartment. I'm trying to turn it into my library and it's taking time. All right. We have him at home.

Yeah. This is not, it's not exciting. Well, there's no, there's no plans that I'm going to say that are that exciting. We just went on our honeymoon. I can't spend any more money. You're not going to go to Applebee's, go to Buffalo Wild Wings, anything like that? I don't know. You know, I'm hoping for a block of hours of silence.

Okay. All right. Most people want for their birthdays once you get your mid 30s. I think usually that is required. You're required to have children just to be like, I just want three hours of silence. And then people are like, we get it. You have kids, but you just, I don't know. But yeah.

I have kids. I have me. That's true. My own child. That's very, very true. All right. Well, happy birthday, Henry Zabrowski. Thank you.

Anything else, Mr. Parks? That's all I got. All right. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Let's see. So Salt Lake City and Vancouver, we got to get butts in those seats, folks. So come on out and hang out with us. Yeah.

Honestly, it's going to be fun. It's going to be a fun show. It's going to be a fun show. Let them know. So we'll see, we'll see you all there. Thanks all so much for giving to our Patreon. We absolutely love it without you. We don't got no show.

Ain't got none. We ain't got no show. We got no show. Keep on supporting all the shows here on the last podcast network. And yeah, I guess that's about it. All right, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan.

Helgeen. Magustalations. Go and watch it. Hail Satan documentary. Try to give some money to the TSD. I like them. I like the color of their jib. Okay.

Hail me as well before you hail them because it's my birthday. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.