Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 372: Adelaide, City of Evil

Episode Date: July 6, 2019

Live from our Australian hotel, we cover just a few of Adelaide's famously brutal murders.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started Wow Wow Wow Wow Wow we are you know what we're down under more like mom everything's upside down Wow W it's you flip it upside down mom mom have to go to the hospital Hospital I've been talking with doctor. We're getting my blood to clean. Yeah from that joke. Absolutely. We're in Australia We're in Australia. Absolutely. Welcome to the last podcast on the left. We're doing it We're got our silly pants on today folks. It's a relaxed fit episode and you can tell

Because there's so much more room for my butt to swim in this episode Absolutely, and the boys they said Ben you're allowed to have a beer while recording just once we actually didn't give you permission No, not at all. You did not ask me where did we go? But so I'm drinking the three sheets Lord Nelson. Mmm. That's a pale ale very good I'm just a great beer here in Australia. We have had nothing but a lot of beer a lot There's a lot of what you could say is we were seeing we were drinking beers last night in Adelaide So they were we're recording this episode. This is coming out and like I don't know when this is coming out Next week's yeah, yeah, like a week and a half

Well, we already be either be back in the United States or in no We'll all be back in the United States by the time this episode comes out I have no idea what day it is today. No, I feel like I'm in a casino But this is just like the light my brain is soft malleable I'll end up, you know saying and doing things that I won't even remember You also were in a casino. I did go to an actual casino. Yeah. Yeah, and actually made me feel normal. Isn't that weird? That's very sad. Yeah, that's very sad, but we are so we are We're in middle, Australia. This is the first time we're recording here. So I don't know what the fuck's going on

Yeah, we're in Sydney right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah At least we know what city we're in I'm not sure if you guys are informing the audience of where we are or if you guys are Just trying to figure it out. Yes We are recording live in Sydney at this kick-ass hotel By the way, if you do have a chance to get down to Sydney the QT hotel QT hotel is just awesome It's baller. It's so like there is a tub And there's a tub there's a tub and I got into the tub the first day I was here and you know what's so funny is how long did it take you to run to run your back before you can get in?

Oh, it takes like an hour, you know for me ten minutes because I feel the water Yeah, I two inches of water that's all I need and then I put my big old body in there and it's all filled up It's like how they clean rhinos at the zoo You just like with the water up your nipples and you got two rubber duckies You're guessing on like our wish you were a pair of breasts And you got your weird big feet hanging out of the top of the water. Yeah, that was basically it. Yes, so far What a magical land This is really is and what a magical land of crime

Lee Honestly, there are so many people who came up to us especially if so we did a show in Adelaide yesterday Which I guess is the murder capital of Australia and everybody's so excited to tell you that that's the fact But they are they're so excited to be like, you know, do you have any rapes happen here? Thank you so much. Yeah, I think they're the state bird of out Adelaide is just a crooked smile But it's such a nice town gorgeous thing about it It really is like those weird British dramas where like broad church where it seems like the most beautiful town on earth But there's just murder happening every other week. People are super chill. They're totally chill

There's super chill But yeah, there's obviously something underneath the underneath the waters here because as we were researching Cuz now we were trying to figure out what do we want to do this for this relaxed fit right besides just fucking enthrall you Stories from the road. Absolutely. I'm like how kiss old farts I've been very good. I've been very good on this trip by the way from when it comes to toots as a matter of fact Marcus is the opposite because he hasn't been pooping. Yeah, but that's not hurting anybody by him Marcus can't shit on the road and so it's been sort of a fun It's like I'm not gonna say this it's like hanging out with your fun uncle

But you always have to say stuff where you're like Marcus. Did you shit last night? In a very kind of concern manner. Yeah, and I try I had some it's called like more more There was something really weird like a really weird cereal this morning and it got things going well So thank you. That's great. Maybe it was the crystal Matthew sprinkled on top of it Stay awake because we have been traveling. We have been traveling non-stop. I think that we just live in Australia now I Realized we've only been here for five days. Yes, but we got a lot more days left. Absolutely Perth was completely gorgeous as well I get why people live out here. Rugby is a great sport

I watched some of that and you know what they have in rugby that we don't have an American football a lot of male butts Yeah, there were so many tight butts They just pulled down each other's pants, but no one laughs. No, they're beating the hell out of each other It's really scary. That's a massive butt and everyone's just like play on that. I'm like in America I mean it would be knit remember when Janet Jackson accidentally maybe showed her nipple It was and she was still bad, but that was like in America We're like, oh, it was like it was a it was a collective gas gasp that is still going on today. Yeah It's very strange about why there's not more nude butts in the NFL

But in rugby there are as I did see a donger. I have seen the wise watched a little bit of it And eventually I do feel like it does it's kind of jerk off material right? It absolutely could be it's hot guys running fast Hitting on each other. It could be but I'm not sure it's specifically jerk off material. No, it's a game Marcus. It's definitely not officially Open secret that everyone in Australia is just jerking off to rugby. I know feel like it's a it's a medium Like it's like a like a half open closet door secret that you're gonna jerk off to rugby because it's a bunch of wet Men wrestling with each other, which I don't understand why there's not a ladies. There is ladies rugby I've seen it like multiple times on television every time you say during a live show There isn't ladies rugby. There's like tin women in the crowd that I'll say there's ladies rugby, but it's not profession

It is professional. No, that's why are they wearing clothes? It's professional you pervert It's not the ladies wrestling channel on kink.com. Why not? Thank you It's a sport Henry. I'm just saying yeah, there's a lot of sports out there that could be done with a lot more scissors You know women have done a lot of progress when it comes to athletics as a matter of fact the female Suzy Kurtz Suzy I don't know who's Suzy. No, that's the actress. You think it's a porn star? Yes, and Cheryl swooped at Texas Tech University. Well It's all come full circle. I'm so happy we finally got to mention in Cheryl swooped. She was huge when she came out

She was one of the first people in the WMBA to really make it big and famous But I will say this the US women's soccer team They need to get paid with the men are getting paid right now and the men should all be just working at a gas station Because the women actually win they win. Yeah, I love our women's soccer team. Me too, and they're known around the world Yeah It's us's soccer team. Yes, it would be no way I feel like I mean we kind of went off my subject of imagining a bunch of big No, early women all slap at each other's breasts and but still kicking a big ball

But isn't that funny how you brought it back? Yeah, isn't that funny like maybe we shouldn't talk about that So much, but then we are just gonna talk about it. We can do this the whole time. That's all I think about Well, I'm here I mean Natalie's here, but you've been a really good behavior because Carolina has been with us Yes, which is really nice to have a female flavor in the bus. Yeah, we're not just so gross Yeah, just a bunch of gross dudes like there's a really nice lady along. Okay. Well, let me just say that first of all We're always on very good behavior because I watch documentaries of how bands used to act and we're like grandpa's We miss the good years. We miss the good and everyone was just having fun. Yeah, you know, it just doesn't happen

But I mean they almost died Duh, but we almost died I think they were also in there They were also in like their early 20s though, like we're all in our like mid to late 30s I have deep pain Drombosis and we've been flying so much my ankle is swollen up the size of a goddamn chunky New York pigeon and at any point It could all end. This is sadder than anything. We've covered on the show Isn't that fun? Isn't that fun? Yeah, if we want to we can get in a little bit of Adelaide true crime

Absolutely, absolutely. But yes, so we've had a wonderful time here and we've met a lot of great people So thanks so much for having us in your country, Australia I do want to eventually get into the Australian UFO scene because I had a lot of people talk to me about like we had we've Got a long conversation with our friend Wade last night who lived in the outback for his whole childhood And you might know Wade from our last stream on the left. He is He does his name's Dank, miss on the internet. Yeah, he does some awesome Simpsons videos out there and he also And did a little bit of work for our live show. He made the song for the KC Anthony video. Wonderful man

Yeah, wonderful dude with the way they seem to explain the outback to me Which is I mean, I don't know if it's just a pedantic way to explain to American tourists But it does seem to be a land of mystery. They were like you go out there and it's just they're like Reality challenges. It's different out there. You go out there and it's something it's something special You see who was in the skull like you see the bruise they dancing be it and I'm just like that's incredible But they see you go out there and you can get very easily lost. You have to sing the song of the Aborigine what does that go? They tell stories of their histories through song

Yeah, they harmonize with each other. It's very interesting There's a lot of UFO activity in the outback because you go out there and again It's supposed to be the realm of the unreal But I want so I want to go but at the same time I wish there was a hotel It's very far away. It's extreme camping and you don't want to go camping at like a national park in America I don't think you'd handle the outback. You're a city. I I can't do it. I know it. I need my memory foam I know you do but yes, we had some great fans Many of them said they saw a boatload of UFOs. So if you're out there, you've seen a UFO side stories

at Side store email side stories LP otl at gmail.com send us your footage and then we can show it on the stream I mean again I will say to you the footage part of UFO sighting actually doesn't matter because it's about it does no vacations with the other Henry Do you look at there is no film in this camera? No, there was film in the camera in Wayne's World the life that we're living now because if you don't document it much like Oh, I'm not gonna bring up anything serious Much if you do a long performance for example, and then no one is there to film it

You worked really hard on this long performance. They've used a 12-hour long show Really cool for the people that were there drinking a bunch of beer for 12 hours really cool for them Murderous our sketch group of 15 years they did we did a 12-hour show 112 sketches that we did and technically broke the Guinness World of Records for long a sketch show Technically you did no one came but you know when they no one from Guinness came to record it I'm because we were too fucking drunk to email a person to fucking show up and then also There is no evidence of it. So it's like we didn't do it. That's what I'm saying when you have votes But UFOs is about a personal relationship with the other side of the universe with the dark side

Well, we talked we'll talk with Dan Ackroyd last oh that was amazing a lot of what he said He's very much a part of the nuts and bolts community So he when I try to bring up some of the psychic stuff he can talk upon it if you did Yeah, yeah, he does but he's not a jock-fil-a kind of guy He's way more into seeing the ships, which I totally understand So you're actually crazier than Dan Ackroyd not that Dan Ackroyd is crazy nor is the term crazy bad No, what it is is that Dan Ackroyd was from one generation and someone else has to take the helm has to take Ufology into the next generation

I'm ufology TNG. Oh, right. What does that mean the next generation? Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Yeah I believe it. Well, I had a great time speaking with people at the bar although last night in Adelaide We ran into it was a badass band. It was really good the lead singer. I'm gonna say they were really good They played a passable cover. No, no, you're right. Yeah, you missed. I want to give this guy a shout out I'm gonna mention his name because I thought he was unless maybe I shouldn't what if he's a horrible person Because you know what it was they weren't it's not that they were great. They were good, but mostly they were there Because we went to Adelaide in a Monday night, so we got around early at our show We're ready to go get hammered because we had off the next day today

And so we're like, yeah, all right. It was like, well, I'd like go let's get it around about honestly, dude This Australian accent this trip that is the best Australian accent that I have ever heard I will say this it's absolutely more impressive in person. It's beautiful. It's impressive. It's beautiful subtle Everybody here is cool spot. It's just one of those risks. We're staying. Yeah, absolutely But when we went try to go out Adelaide, they're like, that's a Monday. It's like, what does that mean? You're like, people don't go out on a Monday. Yeah, it's like, yeah, they do. I got drunk on a Monday my entire life Up until now I'm literally this day as a better as a matter of fact in America They do like cheaper beer on Monday. Yeah, because they're like, please come. Yeah, come and drink. Yeah

But yeah, we went to the one bar that was open in Adelaide. One bar in Adelaide is 1.2 million people So you really would think that it would be more than one But this place was such a fun little like groovy kind of niche-y cute place. It was called Gareth Everson's No, uh get Emma Bumble. No, we should mention the Emmy Emily's Emily's list. I don't know what is it. Something hotel. It was called the Oh Oh, girtha. Nope. Grace Emily Hotel. Grace Emily. It was wonderful. I actually though I did Accidentally make a small blooper because there was this girl there. No, and she was really sweet But she was never done. I know it's small blooper where she was like

It's my birthday and I was like and she's like guess how old I am and I'm like, okay So I'm going to do what is the polite thing to do which is 25 to 30 years old I like that when I'm like, oh, it's my birthday now when someone's like 25. I'll be like So I thought the appropriate response to Undershoot this to be a polite American was 34 I was like, oh are you 34 years old because I thought she was at least 50 and then she almost cried because she's like Yes, how'd you know and then I think she wanted to marry. Yeah

Anyway, she happy birthday random woman. She led a life She let a life that gave her an experienced face I just thought that she would I thought that was the nice answer But in terms that it turns out like I was the dude from the store in the stone And I was the only one to pull the fucking sword out You know you do next if you ever do that again and then it works out just like that you then do the She always hit just do the just do the hack joke You feel like the hack joke 21 you have to do that. You have to really really really

You saw this woman. I did exaggerate This is not to criticize anyone's physical beauty whatsoever. It was just a small I was trying It was a small blunder. Yeah, but of course, you didn't even realize and I think she looked you know She looks great. How do I how do I audibly describe backtracking? How does that sound? That's why I always hit you like you don't look a day over 14 While we were in Adelaide, we were gifted this fucking awesome book called City of Evil by Sean Fuster and I started reading it this morning. I got through the introduction and the first chapter and Adelaide is fucked up. Really? Well, this is what people were saying. I forget because I guess growing up

But we're growing up in New York all that kind of shit It's like growing up in a technically adjacent to a bad neighborhood, right? You forget that other places gonna have really bad neighborhoods and we go to Adelaide and it's this cute City really really nice and everyone's like, you know, I want to go out by myself I'm just like why is like you're gonna get odd. No, I'm gonna get they're gonna get me And they're like it is filled with it. No, I mean, I wasn't so much the sexual Stuff that we would have to worry about. I think it was more of the knife to the fucking dome Yeah, people said they would fucking they would kill us and then you start really looking at the surface

And I didn't realize the snow and murders happened. Yeah And then I started researching a little bit into the family murders Which we're just going to have to do an entire episode. Yeah Yeah, if you look up the family murders, this shit's fucking wild. Yeah, absolutely And it is just a gorgeous sleepy little college town on the outside, but on the inside it's full of much more Well, this is this quote from Salman Rushdie Well, it's actually a quote from Adelaide Writers Week 1984 okay, but it's the quote that's put at the beginning of City of Evil

Which I'll recommend that even without finishing the whole thing like I'll recommend it like this book. It's well written Okay, it's got a great voice to it. It's fucking great. I would definitely recommend it, you know one chapter in you know It's a great book. Yep. I know yeah, well, I mean, I wouldn't say like I don't know it's a great book Okay, at the very least I know it's worth finishing. I know it's worth reading great But here is the quote Adelaide is the perfect place to set a horror story You know why all those films and books are always set in sleepy conservative towns because sleepy conservative towns are where those things happen Exorcism, Omens, Shining, Poltergeist, Adelaide is Amityville or Salem and things here go bump in the night. Oh Cool a little bit is because when we were wandering around at night

Oh, you can kind of feel a little bit of the vibe because it's one thing I've noticed so far Especially like here in Sydney all these cool bars you go at in Sydney. It's all this fucking speakeasy shit So you can't you can't find a bar you have no clue where it is until all of a sudden you show up and it's a good time Which is great, but do you expect you to walk down these like foot clan alleyway until it go down there and be like I'm gonna go down there. I'm too pink. Well, such a pink little cute little boy. What are they gonna do to me? I mean to be fair. I think we're the ones who look scary. You look scary I you know it reminds me of that joke with Doug Stanhope when he was walking down the street He saw a group of people and he's crossed the street because they were so scary and then he would he showed up on stage

They were in the front row So I don't know if we were so much at risk, but well from this book from the introduction Like I'm gonna read a couple of things like some of the information this guy gives about Adelaide is that he says the reason why Adelaide is so dangerous the reason why such bad shit happens that like there's a couple of different reasons Why but part of the reason is how it was founded because Adelaide was one of the few main cities Actually, it was the only main city in Australia that was not founded by convicts. So it's worse than well But what that would that be counterintuitive? It was a free man city. No cuz what are they? What are the richer classes the higher classes?

They believe that they're more important than anybody lower than them when you when you show up here as a criminal like you're in a See of other criminals. It's right around the same page that everybody this is obviously my interpretation But it does seem like when you come from like an aristocratic background sure and you show up because this becomes like a little vacation town From you from soggy fucking UK, right? Yeah, you come out so fucking Australia where it's just like you got you got big titted women There's coming out of the out of the sand. So maybe kind of the Robert Durst effect. Yes. Well, you look down Yeah, I mean well what it was is that it wasn't founded by convicts Plurals it was founded by a convict

Singular this guy Wakefield his name was Edward Gibbon Wakefield. Love it. Yeah, and he Just a few months before like kind of founding Adelaide like finding the idea of like this free city He had done a three-year sentence for kidnapping a 15 year old girl And he became the mayor mm-hmm in 1826 he had conspired with his brother to abduct Ellen Turner a rich Manufacturer's daughter who caught his eye Wakefield lured the girl into his trap by way of a false letter Warning Miss Turner her mother was gravely ill once the teenager was in his clutches Wakefield took her to Scotland and Demanded she marry him saying it was the only way to spare her family financial ruin. That's called dating a mayor Yes, so also I do that term like she caught my eye

It's like did you throw it her way like did if she really was just walking and they're like oh, no she caught it I don't know if she really did no cuz you know what catches my eye That meat pies you know I saw like they have out here. They have those big soggy looking meat pies Catches my eye because I will pick it up and consume it if a woman were to catch my eye That means I'm going to pick her up and consume it. Oh my goodness. Honestly. Okay. What do we think not to get off topic? But you mentioned the beef pies. I'm gonna say I only had one not my favorite thing You only had one I only had one so I need to experience it again, but Marcus you had a beef pie I've had two and I love good. I love but he also likes blander food. No, that's not true at all

I'm a guy. I love spice. He likes my favorite food is chicken vindaloo. I love chicken vindaloo only like Chicken vindal. Oh, I don't I like also. I like sog. Pernom. What the hell's a Sog. Pernom. Does it come with the side of the gout when I'm an Indian asshole? But you had the beef pie and you liked it. That's fine. Okay Well, this is what this guy this is what this guy says about Adelaide He said because it's a the big the myth is that Adelaide is the murder capital of Adelaide of Australia Okay, but it's not actually the murder capital capital of Australia There's other towns that have much higher murder rates per capita. It's just that Adelaide has the weirdest murders

And it has the weirdest crime He said in a murder town you would only have to be you would only have to worry about being killed by a crazed deviant and Adelaide you have to worry about the crazed deviance not only killing you but robbing you raping you kidnapping you stealing your son Sexually assaulting your daughters murdering your wives and poisoning your curried egg sandwiches. Couldn't have done without that, sir Well, honestly, at least they do all of it. That's horrible What do you mean at least they do all that's a horrible thing to say those listening Henry just has a reflex whenever he hears something Dare I say interesting because you're a positive person at heart. I was like cool awesome But when Merck is just that was a sentence full of horrible things

At least they do all of it. At least they do all of it because it's not just murder and then they're like We don't steal sons around Okay Well, let's go through some of the crimes that that fuster talks about in the introduction This is just like these are like little tastes of what the what this book is actually all about I think there's something like 11 chapters like 11 really great dives into a bunch of crimes like some of the chapters are Z for Zorro D for devotion an Undignified death rise and fall of the artful Dodger pleading the belly

Our episodes of red shoe dire Especially the the rise and fall Well, here's one here's one that he talks about that happened in February of 2008 said Frederick Well, Kuski kidnapped his former lover Donna Pridham from her car leaving Ms. Pridham's toddler son alone in the back seat while Kuski forced the object of his affection into another vehicle and sped away in Any other city Ms. Pridham would have been taken to an abandoned warehouse or garden shed blindfolded and chained to a chair But an Adelaide kidnappers do things differently while Kuski drove his beloved to an isolated shack miles from the nearest town and let her Gently inside he had filled the tiny dwelling with Ms. Pridham's favorite food and DVDs as well as clothing

He had bought in her size So he must have how did he know all of these things about her former lover. Oh, yeah, that's what I said at the beginning. Yeah He planned for them to spend the rest of their lives together Sequestered in his love shack. Is that not necessarily though honestly just marriage. Yeah, no, it's not. It's kidnapping Kidnap it. Yes, like if the pastor or the person doing your wedding is like, okay now It's time for the I do's and the chick is like I don't I don't I want to go I don't think so It's upside down. Oh, I see that is wow

I wonder how we get a lot of money to put into the kidnapping So what is this when it comes to Adelaide their police department must literally be like don't literally must be like Seatbelt violations and then like we found another corpse in a barrel Because it was a very peaceful pretty place and everywhere we've gone in Australia They demand seat belts be worn like so I know they are very concerned with relatively minor You know what problems actually speaking of bodies in a barrel in the first chapter This guy says that there were two different bodies killed by two different groups of people In barrels found about a hundred yards from each other about two weeks apart

So, you know for a fact the person who makes the barrels like They're it's good business The snow town guys they were all about barrels like they love barrels in Adelaide What if we just start taking our podcast money and investing in barrel in barrels in Australia? Yeah, I've laid barrel company. Honestly, that's you get some we're leaving money on a table here. Absolutely and lamb We buy like ten lamps also I mean speaking of food here the food has been really good, although the boys Marcus and Henry they did try Kangaroo I did not have it yet, but it was that like it was just it was not a preparation that it should be I don't

It was done. It was served cold. It was served cold It just wasn't correct. It's supposed to be stewed, right? They I've heard many now in different interpretations as I put up a video of us eating it I've heard many people been like this is the only way you can eat, right? Oh, you can't eat, right? I'll feed it to the dope. You only do different levels of what what is different very intense opinions about Kangaroo I'm sure. Well, here's another one Celebrity was on the mind of another of Adelaide's twisted citizens depending on when you met him and how much money you had the Concrete Pumper would introduce himself. No, no, no, we can't let that go

Okay, I think Concrete Pumper, that was his name. No, no, I think I put the inflection on the wrong words the Concrete Pumper Like Concrete Pumping was his business. That was not Concrete Pumper Wallace Yeah, he loves fucking Concrete. That is what his job was. He's like that best part is you gotta get in there before it settles Yeah This guy would introduce himself as either Romeo Pacifico or Richie Sambora Wow, well, the thing is that Romeo Pacifico was his real name really but he was a con man Richie, he was a big Bon Jovi fan and Richie Sambora

Well, he would go by Richard Sambora. It's Richard And that was that was his con man name. It's so funny. He was born with a con man name. Just go with your Romeo That's incredible. Romeo, I love him. Romeo the Concrete Pumper Pacifico What that means there's someone in a retirement home right now just being like the bass is the bassist That's the guitarist. The guitarist from Bon Jovi, Rahabit Me Once And they're like, how did you even meet Richard Sambora? And he'd be like, well actually listen to this and either identity Pacifico Was a consummate fraudster who swindled more than 25 million dollars From banks and businesses the money funded an extravagant lifestyle of luxury cars and top-of-the-line building equipment before his crimes were detected and

In an absurd twist the real Richie Sambora had to retain lawyers in Adelaide to Represent him until the courts were satisfied. He had no involvement in the scam At the very least he had to have that weird 7 a.m. 7 p.m. Conversation from New Jersey to Adelaide Will you listen to Jovi? At least let Jovi tell you I was standing right next to him. I've never seen this man before in my life All right now listen to this other this other one June Busson, okay, maybe it's Bueson That could be Bueson and she grew murderously tired of her cancer-stricken husband Dennis in December 2003 Her need for affection drove her into the arms of another man though happy with James Slade

She felt she would never be truly free until Dennis her husband was dead Oh, and so one month after the affair began Bueson and her lover stood over this cancer-stricken man. He was gone. He was dying of cancer He just had to wait just wait and they commenced what prosecutors called a vicious attack of the most dreadful kind That night in the bedroom. He'd shared with his wife Dennis sustained 80 injuries 56 of them stab wounds at the hands of the new lovers just days later as police investigated the crime Bueson and Slade moved into that same room together and continued their love trist And each is now serving a life sentence, but honestly just wait

Because then you get the insurance money, right? You can you can go and you just got your boyfriend on deck Yes, when the husband's dead or you could do kind of like well, you know, you ever see the movie break in the waves No, I never saw that one which it's fucking it's sad. It's somebody got the same guy you did What was the blind Bjork movie dancer in the dark? Oh, yeah, that that sad mother fucker He made this movie called breaking the waves and I believe it was about a guy I want to say it's a guy whose dick was broken. He was he was paralyzed in action Did he break it in the waves? No, you wouldn't know in the water

Are you talking about the one with the guy that played Saul star in Deadwood and Helen Hunt? No, that's the one where he was he was in a wheelchair and Harold Harold Helen Hunt was giving fucking jerking them off Because the doctor told him to be a therapy. Yeah, which is I mean, I see it's great therapy wonderful. Yeah But I mean breaking the waves the whole thing is that the guy's dick doesn't work. So he gives really yeah I forget what it was like yada yada yada his car doesn't work He gives his wife permission to take lovers Okay, to make like to satisfy her so she'd stay so the cancer guy at some point could have flipped it and been like You know just like you guys just like

Squirke it in front of me and maybe one of you guys can give me a tug while we're doing this You know, I'm gonna work it out. You could have negotiated this whole relationship. You know for some reason I don't think these people were really reasonable. I They were thinking in the proper in the proper way But you know also when your significant other dies you get widow sympathy So she really just missed out on everything. Yeah, cuz she could have caught a bunch of dicks, right? Just having a dead husband. He's gonna have just gotten a ham You could have met the mayor and then yes dating a mayor is him kidnapping you, but of course then you're a mayor's like

Exactly, I mean the sash that is exactly what your mother is doing right now, isn't it? Well, I don't think that she I don't see her grooming any men yet Except there is a new the guy that's built in the pool Really, he might be on the docket There's just fair and he's like cuz he still has a gun. Oh sure. Yeah, yeah, and my father's not He's not a cock. No, he's not. No, you'd be really upset No, you saw the photos of him dancing at your wedding. He can cut a rug and shoot a gun He can he's legally allowed to have a gun. Yeah, which he shouldn't well

Here's another story and remember all these are just from the Introduction of the book. Okay, like these and there are so much so much more to read in here This is one about Michelle Burgess the queen of Adelaide's Killers Her weapon was not a blade or a gun, but her body My god Kerosene in my butthole Tuesdays she used her body to cultivate multiple lovers Then played them off against each other to get what she wanted smart in

2000 what she wanted was Kevin Matthews all to herself Oh, yeah, he felt the same way meaning his wife Carolyn had to go got to go This is when you have the conversation where we need a divorce We've talked about this before just break up just go just break just go even if you literally I know this is I'm this is not really this is not great advice But if you're gonna kill somebody to get out of the relationship just fucking ghost them get your shit and disappear That's all you got to do if you're a contemplating murder Then is it worse to just leave but I mean that's the thing with that when we've talked about Bonnie and Clyde for these last three episodes

You could ghost back then now when you got a ghost you got a block you got to do the whole thing You can't ghost anymore. You can ghost you get on a bus Honestly, this is really if you want to get out of town you buy a bus because that's the last synonymous way to travel You get out of the country go to another place and then you've burnt like where we're at You get on one of these Qantas flights give them these little like little domestic flights where they don't even check the IDs Yeah, we're in there. They're not checking any ideas. They don't do any security in an Australian airport Absolutely when you go to the Australian airport You remember that the TSA is a total sham and a complete fraud because everything's safe

Yeah, and they don't make you feel like a terrorist. Yeah, there are people waiting for their families at the gate like it's 1989 But that's how you get out you do that you get on a train you get out and you can just make up a Facebook Be Romeo Pacific. Oh, maybe they make them the LinkedIn profile of Romeo Pacific. Oh, put up your picture. That's it You're literally describing how Adelaide got populated Well Michelle Burgess arranged for this other dude that she was fucking David Kee to carry out the hit of Kevin Matthews wife Under her supervision. This is the power of a woman. That's why men are just tools They are tools for women. Look at the picture of Michelle. This is the woman. This is the woman's whose body This is the woman's whose body

Well, she could have a lot of people yeah, she actually what she looks like Kasey Anthony's less attractive cousin. Yes Yeah, but you know, she's got a she's got a sinister stare to her that I find to be quite She must have some kind of squirreling. Oh, yes, this is her much younger. Yeah, I think you had a nice smile I guess. Yeah, she's got a mischievous glance. She's definitely got a this. I mean this groom is a fucking dead man She's certainly married a man with a mullet, so he's much more prevalent here than I thought it would be and honestly I like a mullet. I love it's gonna say so she's got that classic poodle hairdo when women just went to the same groomer as Their dog and so it's puffy on the sides and then she's got the mullet man there So interesting looking people they match for the wedding perfect

Well, she watched as her puppet stabbed Carolyn Matthews in her own home all the while shouting Kella, be a man. Show me you love me. Yeah And the murder was that is so hard to do Yeah, and the murder was a success, but the cover-up was not oh really Burgess Matthews and key all went to jail for their hideous crime Undaunted Burgess seduced a male prison guard to ensure her time in custody was as comfortable and sexually charged as possible I know I wanted to see what you'd like. What is her approach? There's a little I can't help but notice your dick's dry. Yeah, exactly Yeah, but I get it. I'm getting a little bit of my goats. Do you want to explore my goat's your sexy Prison cap. Yeah, I have a feeling it wasn't extremely difficult to seduce this prison guard

I'm sure he was extremely desperate for any kind of affection I don't know. I guess you're in prison and you're watching all these people around. It's got to be difficult I guess well, let's be honest. I mean the prison sex Sort of trope is extremely common behind bars hot and sweaty all that kind of stuff So I guess you just flip it in reverse you make a saucy situation like a sandals resort like a sandals Yeah, yeah, absolutely if you see me in jail for my long stint for tax evasion at some point I'm definitely we are forcing you not to evade taxes. I'm trying not to know I'm trying No, you don't you have to try to it's easy not to I guess because you have to pay the taxes

I guess I sure but I want to go if I go to jail real southern Bell You're gonna be a southern like I'll do the clay Those are machitos you are gonna get domed By in more ways than what but if I'm charming like if you come off like a disarming like a young dolly Parton in jail and they just come to me for relationship advice Do you have any idea what that would have so your idea is to become weaker? When you go into jail, no big fun gossip Every learn how to cut hair to be a fun gossip. You're like what I heard was that Jair is in he's a child

Melissa, so you better kill him in the show You want to be a second you want to be a you want to be a southern bell snitch? Yeah, other against of the prisoners, but you build alliances. Yeah, and I go to you in solitary confinement Just we're in your own shit as a wig I'm still a southern bell. Just a lady as always Well, Adelaide has at least three different serial murder sprees 1980s that's the family murders five young men were killed Well, the thing about the family murders is that it's deeply connected. They believe it's a lot of

Theory built into this whole story is that it's connected deep within the Australian government and the entertainment industry So there there's a there's a belief that a system of men that they wanted to say it's at least five dudes built a community of Murderers and rapists that they would essentially steal boys and they would use them and the way so like every one of these dudes died everyone of these poor victims died of of blood blood loss from an anal injury Oh, think about how think about so brutal. It is incredibly brutal, but the the way it got Solved well one of them got solved one guy went to jail for one of the crimes I forget his name one just one

But he they tried to pin the other crimes on him But they couldn't get enough evidence together And so he was it was because he murdered the son of a very famous television anchor in Australia And of course that's what gets the fucking police moving because that's literally controlling the news Well, he just yeah, if you don't want the story to be out I wouldn't recommend in murdering the a news anchor's child. Yeah, that'll definitely get the story out there for sure But that's sort of fucking wild. That's crazy. Yeah, and then there was also the Truro killings I don't know anything about those. He just lists them here

But that eight young women were killed in the 1970s and then of course there's the Snowton murders that we all know about Which were good absolutely. I know we've been talking about covering them for like a Three years or so ever since we did Australian serial killers, but I think we got to cover it I think we literally need to do like I'll get the let out like an Australian block Well, we already did it once. Yeah, I know we got to do it like again because some of these crimes are absolutely fascinating It's it is just we got to get to them. Yeah, absolutely Well, like I said, like I haven't got too far into the book, okay, but I did read the first chapter And I'm not gonna ruin it for I want people to read this book. I want people to buy this book

It's fucking great. Who's the author again? Sean Fuster. Oh, it's called City of Evil the shocking real story of Adelaide's strange and violent underbelly Oh my apparently it was made it was made into a TV series. Yes, the book does have a little circle that says as seen on TV So the book was on TV. No, it wasn't the book was on TV that it was made into a TV series like It's not like a fuck it it's not like It's like seal okay famous book in itself Well, this the one they talked about in the very first chapter involves two women their last names are McGinnis and Casa Grande

Crazy names here. I love it big old house. Yeah, absolutely, but The the the victim in this case, it's just it's one guy His name was John Lily crap No, it was not it's I think it's I cannot it's L I L L E C-R-A-P-P I cannot think of any other way to pronounce it the latest Lily really crap That is Lily crap. That's Lily. Oh god. He was a crope It might it might it might be but the thing is that this guy

John but John like to go by Joanne John John was like kind of a or Joanne was kind of a neighborhood character. Okay, and like was it was a Was it a transgender situation? It was not a transgender. Joanne just like to wear women's clothing Oh, and like dresses up. Yeah, it's still like yeah, I'm Joanne, but you know But yeah, like more of a drag performer something like that. Yeah, cross-dressing But not like a drug not a performer or anything Just like a really nice guy that helped people out in the neighborhood Okay, I might have identified as a woman, but I don't know. I we don't know

This is weren't slippery We don't know these things we have that I guess is there a book to read But really like what happens that he took in these two women That were they were lovers, but they were also Hardcore heroin addicts and so Joanne took care of them Joanne Lily crap took care of them for a long fucking time Like really like trying to get him, you know, but lift them up Uh-huh, but they yeah, they stole Joanne's camera and then demanded money. That's not how it works Yeah, yeah, they demanded money and it's like he's like I'm not giving you any money

You stole my camera and they're like we'll buy you another camera. He's like nope I'm keeping the money. So they stabbed him to death and Dismembered the body for a camera for well for money for the money for heroin And the thing is that the women actually what one of the women turned herself in In so she could get methadone. That's how bad she was Jonesing. She turned herself in. She's like I committed a murder I will tell you all about the murder if you give me methadone Oh my god

And so since that she just pretty much gave it she told the police like yeah I'll tell you whatever you want that she gave the police one of the most Detailed stories of a dismemberment that I have ever read in my life. It's all in this book Can you give some what's a couple? Yeah, let's drop some fucking something gross in there I really wonder what that would be like because we obviously covering Covering Dahmer and stuff and all these serial killers that have dismembered people. We kind of know a little bit about it It's just it seems like a really difficult process And it was a very long difficult process because Joanne was very large

It's really difficult to dismember a body. It takes a lot of heavy fucking material You need a hacksaw you need at least a bone saw snapper to bones is really difficult Yeah, they used a blunt hacksaw and an axe and this one with an axe They said we tried to lift her and when that didn't work both her legs came off at the groin Because they cut the head off first. Now. Is that the right way to do it? I'm not sure what the right way well technically you could disembowel it You can get like you do a deer like I imagine right a deer where if you if you could find a way to either get some kind of

Way to hoist up the body, of course you can but let the blood out during deer hunting season every garage in Wisconsin Looks like it's Ed Gein's playground. Yeah, this is just Custom yeah, they said the worst bit was the torso. She was so fat Anyway, I got anyway, I got the stay sharp knife and cut all the fat off Joanne's stomach And we wrapped her back in the blanket and then after that They buried the stomach and the body fat in Joanne's prized strawberry patch And then they took the head and a bucket and they took the torso in a four-wheel drive And then they went about hundred kilometers out the city

And then they put all that shit in a barrel filled it with gas and then set it on fire Just cut to someone eating the strawberry shortcake been like this is the best strawberry. I've ever had I think it's Interesting that they say that heroin and addicts are lazy It's a lot of work and there was to have been so strong out that they were so Amazingly strong out and that's the thing is that the after they got rid of the body the addiction plus the paranoia Like they were like, we're gonna get caught of course. We're gonna get caught. We're gonna get caught We're very possible. So they just went in they said like well, we're gonna get caught anyway So let's just go in we'll confess though

They'll give us a methadone the things the cops kept saying so like yeah Yeah, we'll give you a methadone just keep we need more detail We just need a little bit more detail just a little bit So they just gave them everything step by step by step by step and it's all in this book and then at the end They're like, all right, give me my methadone. They go yeah, that is exactly what Dick Tracy did to mumbles and Dick Tracy Which was how many bodies do you guys think are actually in the outback? Unidentified just bones upon bones there must be thousands Well, none of just people just straight up buried because that was what people were talking a little bit about it with various people

Who grew up in an outback and they all kind of say the same thing that technically it's uninhabited, right? There's a lot of areas where it's like there's no like official town. It's like little dotted real communities But you know for a fact that there aren't real off the grid totally people living out there And I'm certain I am certain that that I mean you're gonna get rid of body Why would you not go drop it in the middle of the fucking now? Well, we had a couple of great fans that we actually met at that dive bar last night who drove 12 hour No, I think it was six hours to see the show. Yeah, and they're like, yeah, we literally have a town I think it was 12,000 they said that was the biggest town within probably an 18 hour radius

Yeah, so that is crazy small and while we're here if you are listening, I mean, I'd love to hear any other town specific Stories about Australian true crime or where you stories if you live in the outback or know anything about it because I'm so Fascinating. Yeah, absolutely. Yes. I do email side stories LP otl at gmail.com. Absolutely. We will talk about it So anyway, so that is the book. Thank you all so much for giving we got multiple copies of the city of evil by Sean Fuster yeah, and we actually met his buddy Daniel who was a professional wrestler. There were so many great people we've met On this trip so far. Everyone is so incredibly cool and sweet and we're no we're not even done with it

Yeah, you know you know you're done with it because this isn't a future that you're listening to but we're at the very start of our trip Yeah, yeah, we're at the very start. We're halfway through right now. We still got shows in Sydney Uh, Brisbane and Melbourne to go but by the time that you listener hear this will be will be done. How long dead? Oh, I can't believe the plane crash Actually don't do this because I had somebody fucking sent a message to me recently It was like I had dreamed you guys all died in a plane crash. Oh, it's like fucking great. Thank you Yeah, all awesome. Well, I mean the dream is not gonna cause the engine to fail. No, it's okay. The plane will be just fine And I actually have dreams of plane crashes when I'm on the plane and those are trippy nightmares. I bet very trippy That's horrifying. Yes, I'll lean in and just let it go. Yeah, that's true

I mean again if we're gonna go at least I'm not the pilot. Yes, although planes did that. Yeah, you know what you're right Let's not talk about it. I don't need to we have to travel a lot on planes We've got about four or five more flights ahead. Yeah, all throughout this year But yes, thanks for all who came out to our shows It was a wonderful to see you all you were wonderful and we have more shows Coming up in the very near future back in America So July 18th, we're gonna be in Oakland can now wait Oakland, California

This is the first time we've ever been there right can't wait to go to Oakland can now wait Of course, we've got Comic-Con coming right up in beautiful San Diego And we're doing a free we're doing like a thing for streams there during Comic-Con But we have an actual show same place we did last year. Yeah at the Balboa I believe in San Diego, which is gonna be a great time very very excited. Yeah, and that's gonna be we're gonna be in L.A. Los Angeles at the fucking cemetery Absolutely, so San Diego that show is gonna be on July 20th and then July 21st Los Angeles. It is my birthday So I'm gonna do that and I am 34 years old

Thank you, wow, but that is gonna be awesome. That's gonna be outdoors in this cemetery It's gonna be so much frickin fun Cannot wait to be there and then a whole pot. I can't wait on these are all cities I've never been to we got St. Paul. Yep, we're really excited for Des Moines What do we do in Des Moines? Des Moines? I heard is a super fun party town if you just like to sit and drink That's right. I love that. Sure. Yeah, we are getting good at it. Yeah, great at it. It's called the addiction Yeah, and then on August 10th. We got Milwaukee and then August 16th 17th and 18th That's gonna be Atlantic City Bethlehem and Port Chester and then after that. We've got our European tour

Oh, my good to leave the country again. Yeah I have never been so many places. It's incredible. Honestly, this is this has been mind-blowing It really has been like leaving the United States of America. It's just man. It's it's crazy I don't know how to put it. I've never done any of this shit before the funny thing is Australia is so similar to America if you are worried about traveling out here and be like, oh, what's that gonna be like so chill Everyone's so cool. Yeah, just if you can stand the plane ride once you're here. It's like it's awesome And I was just I have no fucking but me. Well, this is actually 15 hours. Yes, my fucking ram Was just on the sea. Yeah, we were flying down here and I took tracidone

So I slept for 13 hours, which was really amazing. The stewardess was like impressed You should have been put a mirror up Yeah, like a mafia's funeral I Mafia man funeral, but I go up to Henry and I'm like, how are you doing dude? I was like well rested and shit He looked like he was just like someone who is living in Chernobyl now Just like so devastated. I'm like, have you not slept at all? And he's just like my asshole is on to the seat, but then it turns out I was sitting on the buckle I set on the buckle for like four hours and it kept being like

You were 38,000 feet near sitting on a piece of brass I was balanced on the rim of my asshole on a seat buckle going 500 miles per hour So don't do that when you fly Yeah, make sure you don't have your asshole directly on the buckle. Also, I'll tell you what they also did another Pro tip about a 15 hour flight is don't get drunk in the first third Because Is that what happened by the last third? No, I started edging toward drunk and I realized what I was doing as I was like I was like, I'm a little too comfortable right now. Yeah, yeah

That's a good call get drunk at the end or in the middle then I guess the problem is that then you show up And it's the beginning of a new day in Australia and you show up and you're like Like I'm Gerard Depardieu Missing in the plane. I bet you he's sat on some buckles, too. Yeah, yeah from built buckles Absolutely. I'm all right everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. We love you. Hail yourselves again mug of distillations and Hey, man, why don't you a give Australia try? That's a great new catchphrase This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors

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