Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 381: Burke and Hare

Episode Date: September 7, 2019

On this Relaxed Fit episode, we're in Bristol and we're talking about Burke and Hare -- the "Celtic thugs" who became infamous for grave-robbing and the series of murders they committed in Edinburgh, Scotland.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? The magic of sausage is that and I know there's a lot of people that say I guess the term would be you don't want to see quote-unquote how the sausage is made. That's right because it's disgusting. No. Yes. It's interesting. And it's food science. And what I like is when you see with the sausage, right, whatever the base meat is, you add in the spices, you grind it.

Yeah, of course. You add in cubes of fat, you grind it. And when that does, so you can take a meat that is not necessarily the most luscious of meat, but you add a layer of fat with the actual packaging of the sausage, therefore making the meat itself more juicy. Alright, welcome to the last podcast on the left, everyone. This is the Relaxed Fit episode 5 from Bristol, England. We are in Marcus's hotel room. Speaking of food, Henry is in love with sausage. He is just recommended when we go to Stockholm, Sweden, we eat a platter of different kinds of sausage from what seems to be endangered animals. Well, you go through a zoo.

Which is very interesting. If you just could open your imagination and look at a zoo like a grocery store, you too can expand your palate to that of the Swedish. No, this is why every zoo has a no Polish person policy. And of course, because we're in Marcus's room, we're also staring at what Marcus likes to consume, which is not meat related, but it certainly is dangerous in the sugar content. It is an iron brew. I'm looking at, you have a hobgoblin. There's not a hobgoblin. Hobnobs, you fucking idiot.

Look. A little hobnob. I'm sorry. I got both the milk chalk and the regular kind. They're wonderful oat cookies. Is that a cookie? They're biscuits. They're biscuits.

As they call them here. I will only call it a biscuit here because I'm here. You have to. I know, because I've already been yelled at. It's a biscuit. It's not a cookie. I was at the casino yesterday speaking of what I do. And I made a massive mistake where I exchanged my money.

I did okay until the end. And then you leave. So you want to do well at the end. But you know what? It doesn't matter. And I exchanged my money and I said, oh, wow, your guys' currency is so much nicer than ours. And then I made the mistake of making a joke in my head. And then I said out loud.

And then I said, except for, of course, the Queen's face on it. And then I said, man, I am sorry. I love her. And then they looked at me as if I just offended them greatly. And then I walked out of the casino. Well, Ben, if you want to get back on their good side, just go and grab yourself a little bag of monster mush, monster munch, pickled onion flavor. See why?

Why though? It is. You guys all, I am so sick of the persecution I receive from this group because when I was originally the opening of this, we had a very severe discussion and a disagreement about bear sausage. And again, listeners, send this mail and tell us how it's like, I know bear is not the most common me. I don't think so at all.

I don't think so. Obviously not. I know it's not. But how often do you see it in a restaurant, especially here in Europe, right? Because it's like we see like when we went to perhaps we went to Australia and we ate kangaroo. Not like venison. People don't eat predators.

Predators don't taste good. You're just making shit up. You never had it. So when you have these in every animal, a predator, a deer is a predator to someone. A deer is not a predator. No. A deer. A herbivore.

You don't eat carnivores. It's a predator. Junior high. No. Biology. You are literally. But also, this has got nothing to do with biology because they didn't talk about, you don't eat predators in biology.

No one's ever said that. Okay. Also, I'm just going to say plants are alive. Have you guys not heard about this? Plants feel and they eat plants. Don't you do this. They are still predators of nature. Did Jenny from Forest Gump just show up in this room?

Hey, man. She died. She died. She died. But no. We were just talking about how you can mix up a deal. But that's what we were. We all have our own peccadillos here.

All right. Obviously. No one dies when he eats his pickled onions. Nope. No one dies when I eat my wonderful costan press elderflower lemonade soda. That's what he likes. Normally, I think the elderflower is an overpowering flavor, but this, I think it's absolutely scrummy.

As soon as you put it, it just tannin' off. Oh, Paul. Oh, Paul, I wish you'd put your mushroom tip aside, my braya-pitch. I love it. You sound like Julia Childs if she has never shat. That's Mary Berry. That's Mary Berry. But apparently, they don't like each other.

But anyway, that's a whole other conversation about the Great British Break-off. Which this show's not about, technically. It's not. We could. We could do whatever we want. It's a relaxed fit. They get built soft. Yeah, it is off. Oh, but we do have an actual good story today, but we'll get to that. Oh, we will I looked up because we're in Bristol

Um, uh, no one's just Marcus. I just want you to watch your kidneys All right, cuz you got to watch the sugar and take good good call good call But I know that Bristol is the famed home of blackbeard the dread pirate. Oh Believe is Edward Teach Was he the first one to do but a lingus? Remember that when that TV show girls everyone was like, they're so brave. They're doing but a lingus Yeah, but they would his name would be brown beer. Ah, yeah, it's very sure But he although from the Guinness that I had in Ireland. I think he could still be black

Well, it's a problem. I mixed Guinness with pep talk is mall. Oh, and I thought I my shit looked like Voldemort's Cubes. Oh, yeah, I had the spiciest curry of my life last night and my shoulders started sweating This is but I made sure I had some gaviscon double action had a few of those man The shit was bad, but the heartburn was all gone. There it is your table looks like Prince Albert's fucking writer All that weird that weird energy drink with the bits in it Luke is a what the hell's what are the bits powered by glucose? But it gives you energy you're gonna you're gonna fall asleep on stage tonight Hey, you go out and drink your 15 beers. I have my Lucas I know, I know which which is better or worse. The beer is worse. I actually don't think that's true

I don't think it's true. I think it is the at least beer is powered by creativity But I try to look up the history of black beer because I wanted to know more about it because it was like one of those That was one of those Topics that we've bendied about one to do on the show We wanted to do more pirate lore because we think it's fun in Bristol's like a pirate town Yeah, they have all pirate bars was from certain like you would endlessly roast us for going inside I went into one yesterday. You did. I had my fish and chips. It was very pirate theme very nautical theme Was it that boat restaurant? No, not the boat restaurant, but it was near the water. It was very nice. Good

Yes, but Bristol has like obviously it's a history of the blood and the slave trade It's an interesting city as you look at it but it's history bit a bit derrick a bit dark Um, but all of the stuff I was reading about black beard is all just fact that all the stories are not true Yeah, I thought black beer. He's not a real person, but he's a real person. Is he an amalgamation? There's a lot of I guess storytelling when it comes to him a lot of exaggeration He had a lot of pirate a man who fishes for a living would tell a lie. No No, they plunder they were they don't even fit you're telling me a pirate doesn't need a fish I'm saying they don't fish themselves the whole point of being a pirate so you don't have to fish

So you're just gonna go into a village and steal everyone's fish. Yeah, that's being a pirate guys So pirates are pirates are the technically at the time They were actually more accepted than they are now they actually would use them all time as reserves for the navies So it's all of this stuff where you find out that they actually allowed a lot of this shit to happen essentially, they would it would become a side economy and that actually black beard was closer to a sea business man than a pirate and No, and that's a problem But yes, he did like like firecrackers under his hat to make himself look more scary He would do he wore his beard really long and he the idea is that he understood back then that the

Legend is more important than the fact and so he would build up his own legend in order to use him use his own Reputations leverage so then when he'd show up and his big old ship with all the kind of shit people would expect this guy That would fucking kill you and your fucking mother right, you know And he had sex with little babies and you find out that like none of that He was actually a very good negotiator and all of this shit. So the story is actually better No, it's worse because it's bad You see I think that's actually better that he didn't do all of those horrific things like you Metal band that's now in prison. No, but it's not as fun

It's not as fun because you want the story to be horrifying It's like when we did the Donner party Yeah, that's part about the Donner party was that you realize the story was so much more metal once you went past the Yeah, the story of the Donner party like all of the any Biographies are super boring and super dry where you actually can get into it So that's why I was like I was gonna talk more about it and I was like all turns out. He's just a good guy No, he's not a good guy. He's an average guy. He was a man of his time Interesting. He sounds like the fifth member of Pantera the way he dresses. Yeah, that's what pantera is a big-time cowboy

Influenced man or pirate influence band. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. No, he was very fashionable That was kind of his thing. We were all black. That's the thing with cowboys and pirates No one gives them enough credit for being so fashion forward pirates have more buckles than cowboys Oh, you think so cowboys just got the one the belt buckle pirates have like six or seven pirates have more I've seen some boot buckles on those cowboys. They'll put a boot buckle on there pirates have more things to buckle to themselves That's they have more tools. That's because I was so dead They had one cool thing that he did have he was famous for having this sort of like a quiver of guns We had this strap on that would have three guns just on the back of it

Which is fucking dope because it's a long time to reload them Yeah, you need more guns. Yeah, he sounds like cable. That's a pretty cool superhero right there. Yeah There needs to be a pirate superhero. Is there anyone pirate influenced? Oh I mean technically nightcrawler. He had a pirate nightcrawler had a pirate face. Okay. Yeah, um, also I guess technically it's fucking what's his name Johnny Depp. Oh Pirates of the Caribbean, but he's not a superhero. He's just like a pedophile or something I've never seen one of those movies, but they're everywhere. What was his name in that Jackson Jack spare? That's right. I thought I'd say up for some reason it was like Johnny Rockets

No, they are very they may then much more cartoony version But if you do walk around Bristol, it does feel a little Pirates of the Caribbean But if I do say that I feel like to a person on the street in Bristol. I'll get punched in the face Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, I had my little Bristol experience. You know what I did this weekend You know what I did this week rather I conquered my fear of heights I went on a carousel and I sat there alone and the man who put me on the carousel You know what you know with the cultural similarities? Uh-huh people who work at amusement parks? No teeth Cardi's a card

Cardi's a cardi is a cardi and I got on and I was like I'm real scared of heights Is this gonna break made a little height and weight joke about myself? But that was really just to be like Make sure it doesn't fall And then as soon as I got on he spun me around a whole bunch and he was laughing laughing and I was like Okay And then I went up around and I had a great view of the city and I wasn't it was scary But it wasn't that horrifying. Oh, it's beautiful. I go conquer conquer a fear this week That's that's what I say unless of course your fear is doing something like a mass shooting in which case don't conquer that fear

Yeah, why are you afraid of that of doing it? That's that's that's a scary You have a healthy fear conquer that this week and do something do something that surprises even you see I try to do But I want to go try to find a succulent UK meal You are doing okay find a because he's you are Henry is on the road We are every time we come to Europe. Mm-hmm. You always fly into the hipster place I try to find something cool to eat again. It just means the chef is gay But you can't trust the food just go with the basics I'm fishing chips I had a great dinner last night. I needed a break from the I needed to break from the purely fried

I needed to break my whole body was like vegetables something that you can recognize something not brown And so I went I was like, you know what I kind of want I kind of want a classy steak with vegetables and a salad do a thing and it's still weird It's tasty weird. They did something to it. I made a weird. We went to that hipster place in Australia as well They served the they served the kangaroo cold. I don't know why they do any of these things like a blue Come on. I just can't wait until later on today after I go to Arnav sale cemetery after we record I'm gonna go have a shepherd's pie, which I've been dreaming about for days now Honestly, but that's where you'll you'll crush it. You're gonna get it good

I also was looking at they have to play that pie meisters place That's where I'm gonna go. That's supposed to be one of the best pie shops in all of Bristol But there's like three of them, you know, I really want to try his jelly deal. Oh, I could try jelly deal It's exactly as advertised jelly deal Jelly deal jelly deal. Yes Now why do you want to try that because it's something new? Yeah, I'll totally try all that shit Because England is where I'll try all the weird foods because England is my ancestral land He's your favorite as soon as we land in Europe. He who you are ninety nine point eight percent ninety nine point eight percent

English yes, and then as soon as we landed in Bristol Marcus looks at me. He's like I Smell the air. I feel like I belong here Right, like it just felt like it just felt like yes. Yes. This is where my people are from you with all the other tombstone people It's the same power, but no, I understand but if my problem is is having a pie in the middle of the day is difficult No, it's fine as long as there's no like sugar in it as long as it's just like pastry Belly ma'am but jelly deal for honestly though There's no difference between a jelly deal and a bear sausage in terms of what are we eating here?

But in terms of Loch Ness monster if you read this they have no absolutely no the eel has a long history. Yes culinary Uses here like it was a poor person's food back in the day because the River Thames used to be full of eels And that's what all the poor people would eat Interesting and then eventually they flipped it and reversed it and made eel a delicacy They made something where all the rich people could eat it once they saw how good all the poor people are having I can guarantee That's the same thing about bear sausage. It's literally the same exact. No, it's not no one eats there I literally have no clue Henry is a place where they make them into sausages

Yeah, I mean I'll eat it, but apparently Loch Ness monster what they just did was this huge re like search Exhibition into like these people wanted to really talk about like let's nail down all the possible things the Loch Ness monster could be So they did this sort of I guess they could take the water from the lock and they could do a DNA Sampling it's called e DNA environmental DNA so they could see everything that's in the environment Yeah, but they didn't see any giant ancient creature DNA or whatever They still don't know how to identify that but the newest latest Theory of what the Loch Ness monster could have been is a theoretical giant eel

Well, I think that that still makes it the Loch Ness monster then yeah, I think yeah It doesn't have to be that's a cryptid in my books. Well, the giant ass eel if you saw that shit when you were fucking Oh my god, well the locals are not impressed with this at all like the local Loch Ness monster Expert says like every any 12 year old boy knows that there are eels in Loch Ness Everyone knows there are eels there. This isn't a big eel the fuck I love cocky like boutique Loch Ness monsters like trinket salesman yelling at scientists You know honestly is they are they do don't want their money fuck with no They don't of course not because if you fuck of you straight up and finally say that there's a reason and I know what

What the Loch Ness monster is that ruins the mist? But I actually don't think that would if it's it obviously is a once-in-a-lifetime size deal Yeah, but so that's a pretty cool thing. Yeah, but I'm not traveling from America to Loch Ness to see a big eel You know what though if I was there already If there was a chance to see a big eel yeah, I'd take an afternoon They still have the rubes Have us all the cryptid boys like excited to go see it. Yeah, but then also eels are just the tapeworms of the sea I don't know. I actually don't know either. I'm not sure. I think they're snakes

But in Alistair Crowley have a house on the Loch Ness as well. Yes, he did who did Alistair Crowley Yeah, so I would check that out. Yeah fucking second think where he did his most famous rituals like the big big like evil rituals He did on Loch Ness like when he was doing that house that Robert plant later bought He was doing that one ritual with that huge eel that he pumped full of steroids and he dropped it in Loch Ness Alistair Crowley Was it up his ass hole? That's whether the tapeworms of the sea look look and see my works see you and I can do as the tail just slapping against his thighs Yes, yes deeper

Well speaking of traveling around Marcus you have got some research that you did on some of the locations We've been I believe that this story crosses over both Ireland I don't know what that is. Ireland? You just said it like my grandfather. I don't know. Ireland more than Ireland? Everyone wears feet. Everyone wears shoes on their hands and gloves on their feet And it also talks about Europe and some grave robbing. Oh, yeah today We'll be talking about famed 19th century Irish grave robbing serial killers Burke and Hare This shit was awesome Marcus and I had a really great tourist day going through Dublin And so we went and we went to Christchurch for some reason then if I know that's Protestant

We've had a lot of bleak stuff about Ireland. Yeah, this trip was fucking They have got some stories. We've got a bloody history. However Although they were Irish serial killers their crimes were actually committed in Edinburgh, Scotland. Oh But it's the inspiration for the story came from Marcus and I went on a ghost tour of Dublin Which was told to plug the guy. I am not going to you're not It was a fine. It was fine Okay, it was fine until we discovered that they just took us on the ghost tour was just what a Three block circle. Yes around our hotel room and then we found out that so all of these locations

I already knew I didn't realize I knew them until all of a sudden we are after the bus tour and I was walking around Dublin being like Oh, I just been looking at this shit for the last like three days. Yeah, I've been going to that coffee shop Yeah, it's really right there. Yeah, it's kind of the ghost or your mom goes on. Okay. Yes But otherwise the one cool part was that they took us to a cemetery where they he started talking about the idea of Professional grave robbing which I thought was absolutely fucking fast And of course synchronicity covering Mormonism and Joseph Smith Of course and this story came from a book that a fan actually gave us in Dublin called murder mutiny and mayhem by Joe Oh, hey, oh

Well Burke and hair were not sexually motivated serial killers They were in it completely for the Prophet although the Prophet did not come from the victims themselves What Burke and hair were selling was the victims bodies cool Over a relatively short period of time Burke and hair murdered at least 16 But up to 30 people and sold their sometimes still warm bodies to Professor Robert Knox Who was a quote-unquote? Medical doctor who paid a hefty sum for fresh cadavers, you know when he got these bodies and he feels it It's like when you get like a fresh loaf of bread from the storm. You're like, oh, it's a little warm from the oven

And he's like oh like little kisses little kisses like ah, this is nice. It's still pink. I can kiss it and pretend It's alive. Yeah, what did this guy do with all those bodies? Was he a doctor? He was a doctor. He was he ran he ran a little medical school and the bodies were still warm Actually, it was his students that would comment on it where they would touch the body and they're like Bodies aren't supposed to be this fresh. No, it's better this way. You'll see my little one. See how I can screw Oh, still nice and juicy No, unfortunately, this was sort of the natural progression for business that have been thriving for decades Burke and hair were what were known as

Resurrection men which was slang for guys who dug up fresh corpses and sold them to medical schools His back in the early 19th century It was difficult for medical schools to get a hold of cadavers for medical students to dissect especially in the UK After they stopped using recently hanged criminals for studious evisceration as a matter of course It's so cool. All right, you know tough day at school tough Monday to be hung over at school Because I remember when we did our first fetal pig dissection and that was a little rough for me in the beginning because I wasn't as Quite as a culinary advanced man as I am today. Yeah, you were just you weren't licking it That's good, but I do think there's something very suspicious about a boutique medical school

I'm not looking for the indie hipster medical I don't even trust Tom Savini's medical school and all the cadavers are fake Whatever school Special effects school From your grave well regardless the medical students still needed cadavers So the resurrection men stepped in to fill the demand Grave robbing became such a problem that the wealthy actually started taking measures to prevent this from happening If you had money

It wasn't rare to cover a loved one's grave with a slab of granite or marble or to encircle the burial place with high Spiked rails and a lot of graveyards had night watchmen that would shoot trespassers on site cool I would just bury me face down ass up and when they try to dig it up They got a funny little joke because then they got a look at my butt Don't they just start having sex with it I'm not one of those big I Don't understand the whole like when I'm dead. I want to be cremated all that I really don't care

Yeah, David Cross actually used to do a funny bit about that. Yeah, throw me in the trash or give this Yeah, use my body for science and see what happens. See how a genius's brains looks from the inside And they're just like cutting open my balls say now like a spot polish cum is weird What we discovered was that a lot of times these grave robbers these resurrection men They wouldn't actually dig into the grave themselves They had armies of orphaned children Yeah, but they would pay to go down into the graves and like put a hook underneath the deceased person's chin And then they pull them up. It was really cool cuz on the tour

It was a bunch of all these people were like shaking their heads cuz I was like that he would use Orphant children to dig way down into the grave and everyone's like that's horrible and both Marcus and I were like I think that's great Question is is that when the kids were doing it? Were they doing all the hard work because they said the kids in to bury and through to no one was asking questions Yeah, like the cartoon the rescuers. Yes. Yeah, when Henry raised his hand the guy definitely was like I usually don't get questions on this part of the tour. I don't understand why though It's the most fascinating

The kids would tunnel down and he said because they were they got hands small enough to really get in there They can just place more dirt you hack open the top of the casket and get to the face And then those kids their jobs are to be to remove all the teeth and scoop out the eyeballs Because if they couldn't get up because they would shove a hook in the chin bone right to lift it up But sometimes they would snap the chin bone when they were trying to pull the corpse up through the hole of the casket So then they would have to get whatever items they could get so the kids would like literally pop out the eyeballs and all this shit And we were laughing and I was staring at me like I was a crazy person I mean it's weird to say but I think if I was an orphan in Ireland back in the day

It's probably kind of fun. Yeah, what else are you gonna do with your day? Yeah, of course you go in you pop out eyeballs You bring them up to old crow and you get and you get praised for it Do you imagine Marcus is a boy if his ancestral boyhood and Marcus be like Marcus? Yes, I'm doing it for free Marcus, we really love what you're doing. We really love what you're doing Is there a such a thing as like doing too good of a job because I do it when you're alive No, I know you guys are really big on the grave robbing business here But I've got a couple of suggestions that I think we can really take this to the next life

I like our new business partner. It's like shark tank Well, if you weren't one of the people in the British Isles it was rich enough for Granite or iron gates or hired help your family or friends were forced to stand guard over your grave for days and Tell the body rotted enough where it was no longer useful to medical students Yeah, interesting. Can you imagine depending upon Holden McNeely to watch your grave? I'll flip it in reverse it bring some brews have a good time with your friends perhaps have a party maybe I'd be a nice wake Actually, I think a graveside wake would be a lot more fun than like the stodgy funeral home wake That's a great idea. Yeah. Yeah a nice outfit because we all love drinking outside. Yeah, it's beautiful

Yeah, yeah, you get a trash can put some wood in there get a fire going That'll be a lot of fun just hanging out there burning tires around the grave fucking ripping bongs That's okay making sure no one gets in there. Yeah, absolutely not. Yeah, and this was very necessary because resurrection men would stay on the Lookout for funeral for funeral processions and would fall in line behind the actual grieving families So they could follow them to a new harvesting opportunity That's so much fun, right? and sometimes they wouldn't even have to do that because resurrection men often worked with the grave diggers themselves who would Purposely make the grave much shallower than normal for ease of retrieval. I don't think that's fair

Why you got to go the full six feet if you're gonna get the body. Yeah, buddy You got to work for it. Yeah, I don't know but it's all about shortcuts, buddy You got to find out as this is your business think about how we even do this show. We are now sitting here We're doing all aspects episode. I don't have a shirt on you got your little you got your toes out Which is strange to see. Yeah. Yeah, they're kind of nasty No, but I'm fine. I don't show my feet because my feet are also little goblin feet I don't want anybody Sam, but we've tried to find a way to do this as with as much as little like As we can if you're grave robin you go for like, you know

Marcus still just wrote an eight-page script and this is the week that we asked him to take it off. Yes So it's like we we just dig our hole like ten feet and then these this week we'd like well only do seven feet Yeah, no, no, I like it. Yeah, he likes he likes it. I know he sits here consumes all the sugary and all the Pickled eel potato chips. No pickled onions, sir Walker's monster munch Honestly, it smells so good. Oh I'll smell it. Oh, dude. I really don't like it That's like one of my favorite smells on earth. It smells like how a cancer dog tells if you have cancer So oh my god

Constable's feet I got two bags because I knew I was gonna want another one No, but they're better. Oh, no, they're so much better than funnies funnies or nothing Keep them right next to me so I can sniff them when I'm Travis. This is a note. We need to change these mic covers after this trip Oh, what these people would do They sometimes they wouldn't even wait until the person was dead Some gangs had a network of informants in lodging rooms poor houses and back alleys in the major cities and those informants would summon a Resurrection man when it seemed like someone was close to death That's so fucking fun. That's so much fun. You just want why are you guys?

Why are you guys getting so close to me? Why you guys surrounded me like this? There's more pickled onion monster much Oh, yeah, what's this gonna do like we're in here for the long haul. We want a nice pickled body Then once the person died the gang would sweep up the corpse and hustle it over to the medical school Well, the doctor would pay him 10 pounds sterling, which may not sound like a lot, but that was half of what an average laborer could make in a year Yeah, how much is a sterling a 10 pounds like sterling silver? Yeah, so like a hundred bucks no pounds as in their Yeah, no, I'm asking. Yeah. Yeah, I think well 10 pounds whatever 10 pounds is worth But that's like a hundred pounds essentially. No, it was still just 10 pounds That's what they'd make for a whole year. They made 20 pounds a whole year. This would do this was like

But they also have a pence. Don't forget about that. Ah pence. This was the late 18th century. Wow. Yeah Yeah, so like 10 pounds sterling. Yeah, 20 pounds is what most like an average laborer like your factory workers or your you know Horseshoers or whichever whatever, but that's not a proper thing to name someone who sells shoes to sex workers Hahaha, that's a boom right that's a boom shaka laka boom goes the dynamite from downtown But all you have to do is get a body. Of course, you become a serial killer that makes a lot of sense You're a totally incentivized to do it. This would have been domers prime time Well as far as legalities went the courts were pretty wishy-washy when it came To the resurrection men the official word from the courts was that a body was not property

Nobody owned a body so the theft so the theft of a body was not considered a crime However, the clothes or jewelry buried with the corpse were indeed property So if a body was taken clothed and bejeweled then you'd have a criminal case Okay, but since a body was worth more than the clothes or the jewelry many resurrection men took the corpses nude And threw their clothes back into the now empty grave. Oh my god What a waste that's so funny that that was the crime is taking all the jewels I'd also be very mad if I just saw a bunch of really useful jewels just being buried with my fucking aunt I'd be like, can we just make some replica jewels so she can remember them and then we can have the jewels

I agree. I don't understand people who bury themselves with their older treasure. No, I don't get it either I'm gonna have a fucking joint in my lips. Oh, yeah, that's fun. That's different. Yeah, that's totally different But sometimes medical students didn't wait for the resurrection men to do the dirty work for them Sometimes the medical students would go out on their own and edgine himself Said that he was inspired by stories of medical students in the 1800s robbing graves. He said that's what gave him the idea About that in plain field, wisconsin edgine was extremely well read. Really? Yeah. Yeah. He had a lot of time on his hands That's true. Yeah, he go to the library. He was really big in the stories about like cannibals

He read like true crime magazines and he said that it was the medical students going out They gave him the idea to go out into the graveyards of plain field And dig up corpses for his own because he said I always wanted to be a doctor I always wanted to be a doctor. You can just see like the skull light bulbs flickering above his head I can't stand going to eight years of school because the girls don't like me feeling them for their size No, they don't but that I love this concept of the people were very We now consider it to be morbid and insane But at the time it I guess society itself was probably also against it. They didn't like it

But I love the idea that the doctors with cold reasoning were like but science must continue Yeah, in one instance two groups of students hoping to rob the same grave on the same night Oh got into a brawl with pickaxes and crowbars In the middle of the night over who would have the right to take home the fresh corpse that both of them had came for So it didn't end like lady in the tramp where they were both sucking on the same intestine Kissing in the middle That's too bad And on and on it went for a good 60 years

This eventually became like kind of a part of british aisles culture where you just kind of knew Resurrection men were around the corner. It's like piracy Yeah, and because around like you can actually still the cemetery that I'm going to today I'm actually going to be on the lookout for those long those long iron bars around graves because you can still see those In a lot of british aisles cemeteries Cool But what finally brought the practice to a permanent end was the actions of william burke and william hare Now although they'd both come from ireland

The two of them met in edinburgh somewhere in the 1820s But while burke had at the very least a mind enough to come up with a scam hare Was an absolute fucking moron One witness that he was quote the most brutal man ever subjected to my sight and at first look seemingly an idiot See this is a good game that kissle and I can play all the time when we go out and like I'm the little because I you know You always have to pull the of mice and men Like bitch. Do we always have to pull that bit always got to do it. That's our scam where you go

If you do that I think of it like Yeah, these people are too smart to fall for our scam here big boy And it's like as you go around people start to assume your story, but then they don't know that actually you do have a mind This is a very fun game that you play inside of your own mind Unbeknownst to me. That's how I see you all the time That's a big brute with a bowler hat on with me like Fagan like with my little short pants on and a little You know bushela coins. I was walking around the park yesterday trying to talk to the birds But they didn't talk to me

I saw you yelling at birds on your instagram and then I was on I was I was in I was eating some white bread over there Because that's the only kind of bread they have around here And then I was like I'm gonna bring this out and feed the birds and the guy was like no And he took my plate away because he said they have to be natural predators Hmm. He took your plate away. Yeah, because I was done with the soup He took Because they told him Yeah, I'm not going. I'm gonna feed the birds with all this

Yeah, and then he's like, oh no, you can't do that because they need to be natural predators But then he took the food out of your hands then he brought me my fish and chips Oh, okay. So no, he was the waiter. Yeah, he was the part that was okay You know what? He wasn't just like the man in the park who takes care of the birds You know, you can't take care of my tribe Yeah, the man just took food out of your hands Who was brave? What fucking daredevil would go up to a six foot seven man and just take food out of his hands? Risky guy

Well burkin hair did not kill in order to support their family or to merely survive These men were both degenerate gamblers and drinkers and their only purpose in life was to feed these two habits And on november 27th 1827 they accidentally discovered a scheme that they thought would keep them in poker chips and booze for the rest of their miserable lives podcasts See on that night an elderly lodger at hair's place known only as old donald died This left hair in a predicament because old donald still owed four pounds in rent So hair went to his good friend berk always the brains of the operation and asked him what he should do What do we got to do henry? What do we got to do?

I tell you what castle we profit Well berk said he'd heard tell of a business opportunity at the local medical school in which crazy dr Knox would pay anyone 10 pounds for a body no questions asked and sure enough when they went Knox gave him seven pounds 10 chilling for old donald. Okay, but he got kind of a discount on him Yeah, first time discount making money on money, man. Okay And nox made sure to tell him he'd always pay good money for whatever corpses they might happen upon Man, it's like a drug dealer. Yeah, he gives you that first hit for free And so berkin hair went and got their wives told him about the scheme and everyone went out and got drunk together

To celebrate their new careers This is our job now buddy This is incredible. It's a great night man to be a fly on the wall there Man that money went away immediately. Oh, yeah immediately. Yeah, that's how you keep yourself in business. That's what we're learning Work hard. That's what that's the norm mcdonald trick. You keep your back against the wall. Yes Well, naturally it wasn't too long before these two men put two and two together And figured out that it was a hell of a lot easier to make corpses Than it was to wait until an old man died in their house or to dig up a corpse from a graveyard

Hey, Henry, you don't think about how like when we're all walking around it's just like we're corpses, but we're alive You think I'm in you've just hit it. You just hit our ski, didn't you? I mean, honestly, that's great. That's better than selling dirt There's people everywhere. So berkin hair got to the business of murder Mirder in december of 1827 hair had another sick lodger on his hands named joseph miller And the boys figured they were about to earn another easy payday But when miller started showing signs that he was going to recover Berkin hair took it upon themselves to make sure he didn't know. So what are you doing? Are you going out for a walk? Yeah, actually, I think um, my fever broke last night. So i'm actually feeling very better

God damn it Oh, what's wrong? Why are you two guys staring at me? And here the pair actually showed a little foresight They knew that they wouldn't be able to sell a body if they showed up with an obvious murder victim So they came upon a technique that came to be known as berkin Oh, that's cool. So like fletching

Hair would sit on the felch felching not fletching. Yeah Yeah Hair would sit on the victim's chest while berk would clamp down on their nose and mouth This is our finishing move. Castle. This is it Yeah, and that would suffocate them to death That's the best move I've ever heard So you just gotta sit here? Yeah, that's all you have to do with my big friend

And how you'll make that sweet sweet dollop I'll sit on amyoko's dearest guy I know you will anything to keep him me easy and relaxed So This way the person would die without any pesky knife wounds or strangulation marks Got your nose got your nose Riddle uncle's way to kill someone kiss. Are you enjoying the ride? Love it And when nox took joseph miller off berk and hair's hands with a smile

The two men figured they'd come up with the smartest goddamn scheme of the century And got to work dispatching Dozens more now nox himself is an interesting character people would later discover that his skill as a Quote-unquote surgeon was mostly self-taught So another boutique And although he later called berk and hair quote Celtic thugs He never asked questions as long as the bodies they delivered were clean And they went about this business for months berkin people left and right that no one would miss

Then they'd spend the next week or so getting fucked up and gambling away all their money with their wives until the money ran out And then they'd go out and do it again. They had wives. They had wives and the wives were in on it. That's so nice That's love. That's true. Love. It's not true. Love. I think it's true scumbag array I think it's just a bunch of scummy fucking people. They loved each other I scummy people love each other just as much as classy do I'll show you later. I don't think they did Yeah, we'll get to that later on in the story And we know that they did this at least 16 times because berk actually kept a ledger of each time they murdered someone

Along with how much they got paid for each body to kind of give itself an air of business Yeah, that's I mean honestly, technically it is a business technically. It's a business, but it's also very hard evidence for murder Yes, but unless you wrote like berkdom berkdom berkdom. He did And honestly, you know, it's possible if not probable that berkin here were not the first men to have come across this scheme But they were certainly the last because they were the first to get caught Hmm and and as it has been since time immemorial when it comes to serial killers They only got caught after they murdered someone that people missed because until this point Nobody noticed anyone was even missing much less dead because what are the basically they're going after like travelers

Like people that are away from home and and and and derelicts. Yes derelicts traps Yeah, people that know just people that no one's gonna miss sure like no one knew that they were there The only thing about using them for medical research is that don't you realize that every single cause of death is strangulation? So it's like every single cause of death suffocation is the same thing. Ah suffocation That's I was like, we're getting really good at finding out who got burnt Well, they're not looking at these bodies as from a sort of like autopsy standpoint. Is it anatomical? It's totally anatomical all these guys are doing because you know at that point like we like the The anatomical knowledge is a relatively new thing and you know the oeuvre of America of a of world

Knowledge we thought we were run by various humors for a lot of period of time like these weird kind of like and also Diagrams of us being filled with tiny machines that I used to think about a lot as a little boy I used to act like a robot at dinner and I used to eat spaghetti go chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp And just pretend like I I had a bunch of little machine men in my head and stuff that were like operating levers in order for me to eat I just don't know why your parents put you in that special needs class They thought I was supposed to be in it because I couldn't tie my shoes until I was nine But Burke and Hare finally got on the bobby's radar Uh-oh when they murdered a beloved street entertainer named james wilson street name daft jamie

Oh, he's having fun. That's my ancestor. Yeah, just fucking smacking himself in the head with a dead chicken And you're like I fucking love this guy. This is the best. He was stevo. Yeah, he was a little slow Uh, he was definitely slow, but people loved him. He was a beloved street entertainer So when he disappeared one cold Edinburgh eve people noticed and what was more Burke and Hare actually made more than their regular fee because one of jamie's feet was interestingly deformed At least in dr. Knox's eye So he gave Burke and Hare an extra five pounds. Ah, wow, these dullard's feet are completely crooked He was an extra sterling for you

killed thugs That's so much fun because you know, you just walk in and it's been like, you know, what's our street really missing I'm so used to hearing that man going With the pans on his feet. Yeah That's the sound I'm missing. He's yeah, he had the half foot Yeah, that guy I I met some great street performers in Dublin. It was those men sitting on the park bench I thought there were statues. You know, those guys were great. They scared me. Yeah

Did you meet them or you're just looking at them? I looked at them and I gave them 10 pounds because that was all I had or 10 euro and then they moved their hands for me That's it That's all he did. He just started opening up your fly and started blowing you in the square and like, what kind of statue is this? Well, as soon as daft jamie ended up on the table a few of the students immediately recognized the tail tail deformed foot of their favorite street performer said like I think that's daft jamie I'm pretty certain because I remember when daft jamie did that whole bit where he says

You see how much of my half foot I could put on my mouth? Do you remember that bit man? That was a funny bit. It's too bad man. He was just spreading joy in a joyless time And but nox quickly brushed aside the possibility that it was daft jamie By making sure to start the daft section with the face Before anyone got a good look. Uh, he's he always has a plan out. He does. He always has a plan And burkin hair might have even gotten away with that murder, but they went one step too far and murdered a beautiful girl named Mary Patterson who was rumored to be a sex worker, but was in fact just a groovy freewheeling chick Well, Mary had been lured along with a friend named Janet Brown to a house rented by William Burke's brother

And they were plied with whiskey until Mary passed out Now Janet figured there was something a little off about this situation So she left and told her landlady what was going on But by the time Janet got back Mary was dead and hidden under a pile of straw in the back room And soon she was on her way to dr. Knox out in surgeon square And dr. Knox got super weird with this one since Mary Patterson was beautiful Dr. Knox kept the body preserved in a barrel of whiskey for three

months just taking it out every once in a while and looking at it and putting it back in Taking it out looking at it putting it back in I mentioned i'm not much of a corpse guy, but uh, you guys could do that with me You could dump me in a bath of whiskey. I don't think we got one big enough, buddy. Yeah, buddy There's a lot of whiskey, come on. Oh, I didn't know I was entering a roast mode today You know, I feel like I'm you say weird, but I say this the man was just um being a real scientist He was not being what was what was he trying to figure out? No, he wasn't being a scientist

He actually brought in a series of local artists to sketch the dead body. Wow Scientists And then after he finally took the body out of the barrel of whiskey and uh dissected it He sold the whiskey to a local pub Whoa Yeah, dead lady juice That's a very interesting. I know that that again inappropriate And I imagine if you drank it you'd probably not feel very good. I would think you would get sick unless

It made you feel really great. I don't know. We I don't think we're ever gonna have that chance But before word of mary's disappearance at berks brothers house got around to the bobby's Burke and hair would commit one more murder that of elderly irish lady mary talker tea Now the partnership between the berks and the hairs was already starting to fall apart because the berks had started accusing The hairs of selling bodies on the slide without cutting in the berks Oh, wow, this is unreal. Honestly that is because we've already we have a perennial agreement that the three of us will work on Things together and we when it's one of the last podcasts at work name. We split it equally That's right

And so even if we do get in the grave robbing business and i'm looking at you kissle You're gonna we're gonna split it up equally. We have to because we make that promise here on the show right now All right, see that's real. That's real partners But this is why serial killers have a hard time having partners. Yeah, because they see I think they're not the most like, um, I don't know honest. Yeah, they're not forthright Not like team players, you know, yeah, because the hillside stranglers, right? Like they also had inter attention while the uh, chicago rippers also had inter tension kind of like a band I mean, it sounds like it's kind of like a band

It's all and john fighting with each other, but again, it just seems like serial killing for the most is a solo expedition up the mountain Yeah And things only got worse when a couple who were lodging next to the old iris lady Started asking why she disappeared so suddenly and they were not satisfied with the excuse that she had been asked to leave After getting quote overly friendly with berk. Oh, you know berk. You can't resist him You can't resist him I can't wait to spend some time with you, lady You have to be like, I love how big in bulbous his knees are

Not satisfied the nosy couple next door checked dockerty's room and found married dockerty Slowly rotting under the bed where she had slept just a couple nights previous Okay, now does the whole town just smell like corpses Because you would think that they would smell a corpse under the bed unless the entire town Just smells like the gout she was in the room next door and it takes a couple It takes a while for a body to really start reeking through the walls I have had a chicken Caesar salad in my hotel room for three days Not this time, but I said don't don't come in here and an old chicken Caesar salad

And by six hours in it smelled like a corpse Yeah, but you're in the same room the person in the room next you can't smell that Caesar that chicken certainly But also the place did smell like shit. Yeah, but the time period when we covered jack the ripper Remember that people were just dumping their fucking duke out on the street. Yeah, there was a lot of human filth Is that what those little crevices were in the streets of Dublin crevices? You know, did you see the little dip the little slide? I think that was for the duke I think there was a duke train back in the day

There's also certain places where carriage grooves where carriages used to go to and they would make grooves in the street It could be that could be that could be dumper gutters I'm not sure. It's wild man. People were crazy people crazy people are crazy Well after the couple found Mary Docherty's corpse they went to the police Reported the berks and it all came tumbling down. Now. Naturally the men both blamed each other, but the women flipped immediately and both blamed the men That's just smart though

In the end I feel like we all kind of have an agreement and it's you know, you got the we know you're going to flip So you just got to figure out a way to like, you know, kind of alleviate what was going to happen in the afterwards a little bit Well, eventually hair the dumb one was convinced to turncoat on berk And berk was quickly sentenced to death by hanging for the murders of Mary Docherty Jamie Wilson and mary paterson Damn you kiss and as it was in those days 25,000 people showed up to watch berk hang In edinburgh's lawn market and soon after a mob gathered And burned down the medical school where dr. Knox was important. That's a day

Now that is a day That is like wow, that's like coach v. He said you got to laugh you got to cry and you got to think every single day What? Coach velvano, who's coach velvano? He died of cancer. He had a very motivational speech at the at the sbs. Henry, you don't need to know He'd laugh. He says laugh cry and think every day. Well, you have to think we you you think therefore you are Coaches are very motivational. I know, but I don't cry every day Coaches also tend to say things that are extremely common sense that and then they pass it off as a deep wisdom

It is deep wisdom common sense I don't want to cry every day. You're crying right now Oh Let's go burn down this god damn something Let's go burn down. See how fun that is The hair got off scott free He did scott free because he turned coat and there was not much evidence because most of the bodies that they had murdered Had already gone through the dissection process and were now I don't know glue something

I have no idea like pigeon food. Yeah Yeah, they were fucking gone. Well, you don't want to feed the pigeons. They need to be natural predators I've never even heard that before Told me we're in a different country. We have to follow the custom But hair was chased out of scotland and died as a blind beggar in london many years later While the women went off to australia and ireland respectively Nox though tried to flip it and reverse it by doing the uk lecture circuit on it as an expert on the criminal mind That's awesome. He wants to be lumis. He wants to be dr. Lumis from halloween. It's since he became dr. Lumis

That's awesome Michael Oh part of me thinks that you're the psychopath dr. Lumis. These are the first words i've ever said as michael mire Or his specialty was racial theory because this was but this was back in a time when uh, they're like Oh, yes, the irish are a different race from us anglo saxons Because he said that he had the inside knowledge the mind of the Celtic thug Whom he claimed could fool even the most intelligent of saxons. I don't know if that's true I don't know but I will say you could find that that weird

Inner white people racism ended up creating a whole series of conflicts in ireland, which made it sort of like a big old Fiddle-filled vietnam It's a tense country it's a You still feel like yeah the rising the troubles like you still feel that to this day. It's pretty intense. It's crazy mess with them and of course All of this finally led to sweeping legislation when it came to how medical schools got a hold of bodies Finally after 60 years of grave robbing the warburton anatomy act actually criminalized the practice for the first time And gave medical schools permission to use unclaimed bodies from workhouses and hospitals for dissection

Instead of buying them from men like berk and hair This is like when they started making it like illegal for kids to not wear helmets You know, I mean, this is the nanny state and unfortunately in edinburgh We we're not going to be able to see it berks skeleton is on display in edinburgh in an old museum, but it's closed right now Yeah, and there's actually a notebook made from berks skin. That's On display in this museum, but yeah, my buddy neil told me it's fucking closed right now So we can't go you really wonder why people get so afraid of white people And they just did fucked up stuff

We walked by the like marcus and I had a little bit of a sightseeing little walk about this morning And we walked she was the hatchet in the hatchet in yeah We walked over there where it's like supposed to have like a section of the door Supposed to have human skin like embedded in it and we looked at it and it's just paint It looks just yeah, it just looks like paint But that's the funny thing about these places that like I just last night posted on an instagram a video of a dog eating a traffic cone Uh, and then someone commented like go to the hatchet in got skid on the door

Maybe they should just start feeding their animals. Yeah, maybe that's when they need to happen That dog fucked up that cone for like 20 minutes. Really? Yeah, I walk past a fun chew toy for a dog I walk past the same dog and it was owned by a homeless woman and the homeless woman was doing this thing She was sort of there was a elderly tourist couple sitting on a bench while that dog was going And this weird homeless woman was dancing in front of them And they were both sitting and they were looking as if they thought that this was a show They had smiles on their faces like that and eventually but the woman went and she grabbed the cone and Slapped the dog with it and the dog went. Ah, the dog started biting on the cone and they're pulling back and forth

She let the dog have it, but then she did this weird whirling dervish like dance in front of the couple and they're like See that's that's the great great granddaughter of daffy stew or whatever They're in club club put john. What was his name again daft jamie daft jamie. Well, that is a wonderful story market Technically, do you think daft jamie might be like the great great grandfather of jamie kennedy could be Could be um, all right everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode That we have we have more to come we have our journeys continue. They do we realize this we're gonna be here a long time Yeah, buddy We got really hammered at the very last night in dublin and remember because we were staying at that wonderful fits

William oh great hotel and now and here has been wonderful as well. Mm-hmm. We should we should praise hotels as opposed to Just diss on the Hyatt place in st. Paul Minnesota Go to fuck go fuck yourself But we went there and it legitimately I thought it was kissle Lore right because you were like just got 24 seven bar and I was like I don't I don't believe the hotel Yes, because at first I just thought they were just feeding you booze to keep you from destroying the lobby Yeah, but then we sat at this bar at the hotel and for people they're staying there. It's 24 seven where there's no bartender It's just like the shining

We're just sitting in a bar alone. There's nobody in there silent silent silent We're sitting there and then put all you do is like I need a drink and you yell and the person from reception like kind of runs Over pours you drinks and then goes back and the reason that they allow it is because it's he says a lot of Americans stay here If it was Irish people, they said that they would not allow it because they don't know what like they don't know how to stop drinking And then he said but the Americans they're very conservative. They only have one or two I was very happy for us though like we did not I was happy that Americans represented our country so well I mean it's a violent lie

We actually know how to we do know how to drink that is one thing that I've noticed here is that they like to drink Until they are monsters No, that was funny when he said the Irish are growing and he's just like because I don't know how to tell you this But sometimes the Irish they drink just a drink That's crazy. I certainly don't ever do that. That's insane. Those aren't our lineage people by any chance. I don't think So yes, we will be out on the road. Can't wait to see everyone We got Berlin were close. We're we're nipping it up with Berlin. But before that we got Stockholm We got London. We got Manchester Edinburgh Birmingham. Birmingham. It's gonna be a blast

I want to go to that a black Sabbath museum. They have in Birmingham. Oh, yeah, that'll be awesome. Yeah, dude You have to it's a birthplace of heavy metal. Um, all right. Is there anything else guys? I think that's all we got I think that's it. That's it man. We got Mormonism part 19 We are really like about really rounding the corner on here. We have learned quite a bit We again, we're gonna address a lot of the stuff that people have sent to us I'm very very excited to continue on this tour. I am. Oh, man. I am just in deep in it. I watched a full Mormon ritual last night. I watched someone brought in a hidden cam into one of the temples And I watched all hour and 20 minutes of it. Damn and it is

It is interesting. All right And if you want to send us your stories on your experience with Mormonism, perhaps you're a Mormon or an ex-Mormon Uh side stories L P O T L at gmail.com also talk to us about goddamn bear sausage I want to find out if people have had this thing and how often people are eating it And if you I guarantee if I get at least because I imagine you're gonna get five people being like I've had it before But that means that like how many listeners do we get about two to three million in episode now? We're gonna get like 0.000 like 1% that's where I'm looking for

The exceptional boys bears are omnivores, so their meat tends to taste like their last meal cool So if a bear ate a bunch of shit or what but honestly now, what if the bear ate one of your pickled Ginger reels or whatever then you then we're them. We're talking about a horse of a different color That's a bear of a different pan size. It's like pickled onions. I love it Uh, honestly, yeah, the open goods bears eat honey sometimes. Oh, they're cute Yeah, there's a face off. There's a whole article on here's why people don't eat bear meat Well, we'll find out that's just in the part of the anti bear meat campaign because they're worried It's gonna fuck with the anti puffin meat campaign

Oh, and it's actually uh, it's kind of what you were saying before we started recording that they're invasive species because they're They're called invasive for invasive ores, which people that specifically eat invasive species Uh, but they don't eat bears because bears taste like shit. Well, find out you just write that though So you didn't read that before we had our conversation It's not but I am saying my instincts were correct. Yes, but you you just had instincts before and now you have knowledge Bears are not carnivores. They're omnivores. They're like us. Oh very nice. I mean, I'm still gonna probably eat it All right, everyone Well, we will let you know about our food experiences as we continue to travel and uh, hopefully you don't shame us too much

Um, because uh, you know, we love you and we love people. Well, just like experiences. I know you do. It's like experiences I'm a curious boy. I'm being curious. All right, everyone. We will see you at the live shows. Never forget. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Helgien. Magustalations. Hail me. Let's go burn down medical scams. Yay! Let's get Oxford! This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com