Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 386: The Most Haunted House In England Part I - The BGEC Boys

Episode Date: October 12, 2019

On the first of a two part series, we kick off Halloween with a good old-fashioned ghost story concerning the most haunted house in all of England: Borley Rectory! Join us as we discuss all the hits, from the Phantom Nun to Old Amos, including the family that kicked off the whole shebang, the Bulls.   

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left Can you feel it in the air? Is that Hillary Clinton coming back for a 2020 presidential run no Oh, no, it's not you know what it is That's a negotiate This is the last podcast on the left. I am Ben staring at the beautiful grill of Marcus Hello, my beautiful grill, and of course we have ghost crap Henry surprise. Okay, so this is my ghost crap voice Right that's my ghost voice which I could possibly use yeah

Like today's episode which is super spooky because we're heading to the Halloween season. Okay, or do I use my skeleton voice? For the rest of the day. Okay, let's see. You want to hear it? Yeah, yeah This is one of those moments where if we were a in a visual medium people would have really enjoyed to see Shattery of Henry's teeth clacking up and down But you know, it's the scariest thing of all besides ghosts residual hauntings or intelligent or otherwise Is as you're balding you can really feel drips of sweat go through the last stalks of hair Top of your skull like it like it's the movie ants And you can feel like Woody Allen just running between all of the things that look like giant trees to him

Yes, indeed. All right, everyone. So why are we talking about ghosts? Well? I'll tell you why because today's topic. This is one of the most haunted houses in the history of haunted homes Oh, absolutely, and we are talking about it's a funny name. So get ready for it Borley Rectory part one It is just that funny to you, but I will say we hear last podcast in the left We have matured haven't we boys? Yes. I mean in our ways Quite a bit. We've matured. We've gotten older. Some of us have gotten married. Some of us will get divorced Yeah, but what I think is important is that we know now that we are going to carefully and educationally and

maturely Decide when we will do rector damn near killed Interesting. Yeah, that's very we have matured Did the two of you work on your rector damn near killed or jokes like I asked you to Henry and I have a mind melt when it comes to 13 year old senses of humor, so it'll it'll find itself It'll find itself often called the most haunted house in all of England Borley Rectory was a large hideous red brick domicile about 60 miles northeast of London That was home to dozens if not hundreds of ghost sightings dating back to the mid 19th century you say hideous

I say if you're if you're a bucket woman, yeah, or if you're one of those scone orphans that was all full England was just chock full of in the 19th century They would have loved being anywhere inside of the Borley Rector perhaps it also seems like a kind of place where it's like What's on the cafeteria menu today cafeteria person? Again, I love that. Thank you. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life, and I should know because I'm blind Yeah, yeah, I'm happy. You think I'm attractive because today today. I put Now to address you skeptics right up top We will grant that a certain amount of the phenomena observed and recorded over the years at Borley Rectory has proved to be bogus

Admittedly some of the more famous poltergeist incidents were either faked or exaggerated by certain investigators Well pointed very pointed mm-hmm while other incidents were the product of the potentially disturbed mind of one den is an In particular hmm see when it really comes down to brass tacks the investigation of Borley Rectory fell into the most common of all Paranormal investigative traps, okay, virginity It always gets in the way of the intrepid paranormal investigator Hmm, okay, what happened here is that investigators juiced the story to paint a fuller picture because they needed to be right See what a lot of paranormal investigators want more than anything is to break the definitive case that proves once and for all that the Paranormal is real because that's pure gold, baby. Yeah, you're gold

It's gonna all you got tonight show you got that James Corden show you could sit and air eat hamburgers with TJ Malone, I don't even know the name of the new singers Well these guys want the story that'll earn their place in the history books as the person who changed the way Everyone thinks about everything of course But in doing this they forget that it's supposed to be a team effort that everyone is supposed to contribute their part to Accumulated a body of work and that their attempts to juice the story only gives the skeptics good reason to discount the entire event You know Some pushback, okay, because there's been a lot of bad things said about flim flam men

I'm gonna say mostly flim flam men in the past Because people want to oh Proof right oh numps. I want graphs people want cage with the ghost in it They want to see the thing But they're searching for fucking farts in the wind my friend Flim flam men make these stories real They are an essential part of the paranormal world and I will submit that it is a nerd's duty They want these fucking factoids nailed down their jobs are to

Properly designate and assign and direct the powers of the flim flam man You got to keep your flim flam man on a leash you do all right But also let's not forget the great flim flam women the Fox sisters. That's true They're fantastic and Rosie O'Donnell who told us she was nice for 15 years And now she's that was the greatest trick the devil ever pulled And you and she had those kush balls. I remember covered in your fucking pussy juice I don't know that I don't think that happened. That's how we'd stick to the audience This is important

So we're gonna there's one specific flim flam man in this whole story that we're I'm basically referring to is Harry Price Who to me is one of the bravest JK Simmons lookalikes that has ever existed? He's got a big old pipe He's got big old hat and he lied really hard to me Borley Rectory Something famous. Oh rectum It just came to me Well, that's the thing about Borley Rectory in particular even without the dubious incidents There are still well over a hundred ghostly encounters witnessed at Borley Rectory over the last

150 odd years. He didn't need to juice it. He didn't need to make shit up You gotta have a guy because the problem with the flim flam men and the nerds is that nerds are not able to control Flim flam men. You got to have a guy in the middle. Yeah, absolutely We need a Paul Maudib of the paranormal world a true leader the Maudib the desert mouse One who makes his own water. He's talking about doing again. Oh, this is dude cuz I was like Who the hell is Paul Maudib? The first male benegaserate That is the only way that you could possibly combine the power of the nerd Which is knowing how fucking protractors work and the power of the flim flam man, which is understanding

You got a little wink that pull sparkle gonna put a glove on that hand because your knuckles my friend are kind of ugly Oh my goodness technically Ben you're that guy. I'm the nerd Henry's the flim flam man and you're the Maudib I I've always said I'm Maudib. I've always said that. I'm mad. I love dude. I love water You're stupid Well genuine paranormal activity did take place at Borley Rectory and ever since the rectory burnt down in the 30s The activity was so strong that it just moved across the road to the nearby church Yeah, the only way I could properly describe Borley Rectory as we go through the family that originally lived there It's haunted mansion. Yeah, so much shit was happening inside of this rectory that it was just you had to sit

They were watching ghosts like they were watching TV and back then they didn't even have TV So that's probably how TV and got invented made some scientists watching a bunch of ghosts and he said what if I put that? Little box sometimes put a woman in bikini in there like a fucking pull it at it Okay, did you just call Ben stupid? Technically that means you won the argument when the person's like you're stupid No, you always Dogmeat don't you understand you always accuse other people of the crimes But really it's the residual hauntings at Borley Rectory that make the most compelling tales because most of the poltergast

Material did in fact come when the occupants were less than reliable But before we get into this story completely it might be important once again to remind everyone of the difference between residual hauntings and Intelligent hauntings because Borley Rectory is one of those rare cases where both are present Residual hauntings are what you might call echoes of the past mindless representations of people or events that have left some sort of impression on the physical world a Good example of this would be the Green Lady of Dublin The story goes that in the late 1700s a man named Simon Luttrell

Who happened to be the sheriff of Dublin had an affair with a fish-amble street madam named Darkie Kelly She's like you're gonna fill my gut with it twice because my gut is as deep as it will Simon Luttrell's like I'll have her in my seat. It's creep up against your lungs your fish-amble street madam Never misses a chance to do one of his great character voices Well Kelly soon became swollen with child But when the sheriff refused to acknowledge the child or give financial support

Darkie Kelly threatened to expose the affair So in the style of the time the sheriff accused Darkie of being a witch. No Before long Darkie Kelly found herself partially hanged and burned at the stake while according to the legend The baby was murdered as a part of an elaborate satanic ritual at the legendary Hellfire Club Man, that's a cool-ass story that one day will do an entire episode on the Hellfire Club Unfortunately is another one of those myth-busting episodes where you just find out is a bunch of bunch of Kind of fun guys suckin dick in a hotel

What if we call it like um like the guy like like a cheek boys or like like cock throats or Like maybe Hellfire that means that that sounds good That sounds good because my whole thing was just gonna be saying like bunch of guys eating calm But I guess we can make it a bunch of guys eating calm. So that's a baguette. We can be the baguette boys Well ever since the execution a glowing green Darkie Kelly can be seen just through the ancient city gate walking down the long wide steps Outside of St. Alduin's church trying to find the old underground tunnel that would lead her back to Fishamble Street

Cool. Marcus, do you remember when we were there? Yeah That's it It's weird now a bunch of kids like painted a bunch of dragons on the steps. So it's not quite as spooky But it's cool. It's got to be sad that she has to go back She even as a ghost she was going back to being a Fishamble Street madam Yeah, she didn't as a ghost go to like beautician school Well, maybe she enjoyed being a Fishamble Street madam. Yeah, it's possible and just imagine being one of her favorite John's and all of a sudden You're like, what is that feeling where my

Freebie she promised the freebie. I got to number 10 in my punch card Well residual hauntings aren't just visual Residuals can play with all of the senses from touch to sound to smell One might hear the laughter of a child when no children are present smell the perfume of a woman long dead Or feel the brush of a body when no one is near if only if only it was that simple Never come for me cuz I'm the Joker See how I dance I'm the Joker I didn't get my pills The Joaquin master the Joaquin master class that is movie the movie Joker has really

You've you've really changed as a performer. I'm a waist size 21 See in theory residual hauntings are bits of some sort of unknown focused energy without consciousness That somehow reappear from time to time for no scientific reason that we can yet discern There's some people that say it could be your brain's reaction to a lecture of magnetism because they say a lot of times in Paranormal hotspots. There are fluctuations in electromagnetic activity. Whatever the hell that means they're also say it's possibly your brain dealing with low Frequency sounds that your brain can accidentally Infer low frequency sounds as visual and auditory hallucinations That's possible or it's some kind of wiggity version of Bell's theorem if you want to go ahead and read yourself

I don't know if you've done your morning ritual of eating an edible and reading a couple of Robert Anton Wilson essays But if you want to just stop the podcast and do that then maybe you can understand that whatever once was there was Oh, we'll always be there and anything that touches anything physically will forever have an impression of that physical touch Interesting. Oh, very cool. Well on the other side of the ghost spectrum. You've got intelligent hauntings a.k.a poltergeist These hauntings are perceived to have at least a tiny bit of cognitive ability behind them Although some think including me that if the phenomena called intelligent hauntings does indeed exist The source is probably some hitherto undiscovered power of the human mind

It's period witchery Possibly oh it comes in a period. It doesn't always come from the periods It comes from the new shouting at a poor worker at a toll stop You get that man our show right now little girl. I'm sick of being scared That's what I do if I was investigating poltergeist really you skirt out the egg you be a chicken little girl You get the egg out because breakfast time and I'm sick of plates getting broken because I'm already got back from Ikea two times No, I mean there's been plenty of poltergeist activity where women were not present or at the very least where The person who seemed to be the source of the poltergeist activity was male. Okay, so it's not specifically

Period magic or just a woman shouting after they see the ghost. This is disgusting, but we're just a woman shouting said I'm dry So you you are sexist Henry's eyebrows because I am dry That is so gross. I apologize Well, that's why I really I do feel like it's inappropriate for a paranormal investigator because they do have to ask I just recently Rewatch Ghostbusters and I forgot about the scene where Bill Murray with the librarian the first thing is he assers are you menstruating? But no matter what they are both residual and intelligent hauntings make frequent appearances in the history of Borely rectory although the most compelling and most fun of which is to that of doubt the phantom nun Now nobody knows the true origins of the phantom nun of Borely rectory

But we do know that while this structure is not necessarily old by European standards Even the origins of the actual building site are shrouded in mystery See this rectory was built on top of another rectory that had burned down Which was itself built on top of another structure Which was also built on top of what is possibly the original structure But there could be another structure underneath that which one is the Dunkin Donuts This isn't New Jersey This is old Jersey. No, but I was actually thinking about that

You know when I was thinking about one structure being built on top of another built on top of another like because you know America is so young like one day there will be a haunting that comes from I don't know a murderer in a fucking old circuit city That was there two hundred three hundred years ago. Absolutely. Oh, yeah, the ghosts of my rage of me working in boarders years Must still exist of whatever now exists inside of those stores. Absolutely going. I don't want to stock magazines I want to be an influence on monks when they just see a fat man in a polo like just kind of meandering through Like as a spectral form. It's not a residual hunting. It's not an intelligent hunting. It's a Polish hunting. This is bizarre Well, it is in common practices, especially in

The druid culture they commonly would burn down your like they would take your grandparents house And they'd level it like in all of the family would live on one spot And they would build the next house on top of that house And then they would level it when everybody that was a part of that family died bury them all on top of each other And then erect another house on top of that So they're very used to and then what we learned from Edinburgh is that it was an entire city that was fucking five miles underground It was like five floors Underneath the city. So that's why the UK seems to be filled with so many more ghosts because they're doing try level cemeteries

Yeah, okay, one thing built on top of another built on top of another. It's a small country There's not a lot of room there. Absolutely But the thing is that so many buildings have existed in this spot over the last few hundred years that it's difficult to definitively say Exactly what's been there and it's absolutely impossible to know what all has transpired in this location Now one thing we might want to do here right now is to let our fellow Americans know exactly what a rectory is A rectory is where a rector lives now. What the hell is a rector? A rector is a scenario where let's say

You hit a woman with a car or you accidentally knock a woman down an elevator shaft or off the top of the building But she lives And then why then what might you tell the cops if they show up and well, unfortunately, I erect her I Damn your killer Oh Rector is a priest Minister in this case

Borley it was the home of a local reverend Oh, so then the name of the man was Borley. No, well the name of the area the name of the town was Borley Okay, yeah, you're gonna be Borley's rector. No, no Borley's rector II No Borley rector like you would say like I don't know New York Church, ah You know, yeah, of course Tell me three times Well long before a rector came calling

Legend has it that the site may have been home to a monastery and the legend of that monastery inspired multiple tales of woe betrayal and of course Muirder Muirder But most of the stories involving this legendary monastery Involved the familiar trope of a nun from a nearby convent falling in love with a monastery monk Hmm and the nun in the monk eloping with tragic consequences in one version They escape with the aid of another monk

But once they got away the two lovers fought in the woods and the monk Strangled the nun to death which earned both the monk and his buddy a beheading I'm just being a fucking wingman here, bro. I'm just trying to get my body's fucking dicks like and I'm getting murdered here Dude, that's supposed to be killing this nun. I thought you guys had a love for the age After all they went through they found out they didn't like each other Yeah, they just hit he strangled her at the after a quarrel that doesn't ever say what the quarrel is But they just said that they quarreled in the woods and he strangled her to death. Oh my goodness Think about how how insane that would be. You know, I mean you're just you finally ran away

You've got the middle of your head shaved with that weird kind of like fire tuck hair cut You've never even seen your girlfriend's body yet, and you're so excited Maybe we're gonna make this happen, right? You guys are trudging through the forest and then she is the audacity to say that she doesn't like rush We just we are just getting to know each other Tom so you don't like Tom Sawyer. Is that what you're telling? I'm just not big into Prague. I think it's like nerd rock. That's like old. It's corny My goodness Another more tragic version of the tale all three of them were caught by the monks of the monastery

And while the two men were quickly beheaded for abandoning their oaths the nun was buried alive Oh my like literally, what do they say be like are you guys trying to have straight heterosexual sex? I don't think so. We only have sex with children here as you know But the most terrifying story of them all says that the lovers were caught and the monk was hanged while the nun herself was bricked up in the monastery walls and Died screaming for mercy as the monks silently listened Damn Okay, which one obviously I think I think the answer is to be hanged or beheaded as opposed to buried alive or or

Bricked inside. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah Now here's a fun question to ask your significant other. I asked Carolina this earlier today Okay, would you rather I strangled you to death or would you rather watch me get beheaded and then you get buried alive? This is great. Oh, that is tough. Yeah, she chose. I would strangle her to death in a way. Yeah, that's an offshoot of what you guys are already doing Okay, very interesting Now as far as we know There's never been a monastery on the site of Borley Rectory nor has there ever been a monastery in the area Nor has there ever been a nunnery nearby

Hmm. The only definitive link between the nuns and Borley was that while no monasteries or nunneries existed there the land was once owned By the barking monastery the barking monastery the barking monastery. Okay, soon to be the plot of airbud sick What's that what's that airbud there's a pedophile ring inside the modest They'll be incredible the airbud monk is he tells on he sees The airbud monk a little dog monk He's been invited to be part of the monastery because he was left at the steps of the church sure whenever Jesus Christ your show Do him he'd go Hopefully he's not yelling at it

Hopefully if this means he likes it and then the airbud walks into the head of the monastery looking for some bones Right and he sees the head rector giving it to the bellboy and now we've got ourselves a mystery No, I gotta go to the reporters. Yeah, he's gonna have to go to a dog reporter that understands what he's saying Then airbud gets ex-pop you made a Ex-pop you catered Everybody didn't deserve that one origin story the phantom nun Actually needs no nunnery at all in fact It is the precise absence of a nunnery that gives this story its tragic thrust

Hundreds of years ago. It said that a young nun named Marie Laya was drawn away from her Convent in France by a man with the last name of Waldegrave Waldegrave had told the young nun that if only she came to live with him in Borle He would make her his wife but by the time the nun arrived in Borle Anticipating the forsaking of her vows Waldegrave had found a much more profitable marriage to pursue Oh, now the nun was heartbroken, but she also had nowhere else to go cuz she'd already resigned from her post

So she refused to leave Borle and tried forcing Waldegrave into keeping his promise instead Waldegrave strangled the lovesick young nun and threw the body in the well across the road from Borle Church And it was on that very same spot that Borle Rectory was built years afterward As a result of the betrayal the nun wanders the grounds to this day Seeking the Christian burial which she was so cruelly denied. What the hell is there? They're they're strangling all the nuns What is going on here? I mean nuns nuns were expendable at the time, which is unfortunate

I mean they still are but especially at the time. No, I mean you can't be strangling all the nuns. There's still people There's still people having just because the two of you have a thing against Christianity. No, I don't aren't people No, I didn't say that no technically Henry's the closest one. He wants to be a priest No, and also I went to Catholic school. I you couldn't even get your hands around the throats of those nuns They were built to survive attacks The weaker nuns get kind of taken out of the herd They're slowly and so it breeds bigger stronger nuns my sister Susan literally the name was sister Bundy and she was Bundy fine

Bundy no fundy. No, she was no fundy But this is a lot a lot of these stories So as we'll go a lot of these stories were essentially not put together by Investigators they have been kind of rumors that have been around Borle Rectory forever legends But the phantom nun itself there's a lot of people even talking about whether or not it even really is a nun They see a shrouded woman They don't know if it's a nun and there's a lot of times Harry Price the investigator that would end up making Borle Rectory Superfamous he was obsessed with creating a very specific origin story for the the hauntings happening at the rectory

But it might just be This is just shit. That's been there literally forever. Mm-hmm But there's yet one more tale that has nothing to do with a nun at all which might speak towards the shrouded figure theory It has also been said that shortly after the rectory was built a young girl was seen clinging to the windowsill of what came to be known as the blue Room the unknown girl screamed and screamed until finally she fell to her death and It's possible that it is her spirit which roams the grounds However, one thing about that the blue room doesn't have a windowsill But no matter what happened by the time the Reverend Henry bull had the rectory in question built in 1862

The first sighting of a ghostly nun had already been reported on the grounds 20 years previous in 1843 and it would be the bull family who would propagate the story of the phantom nun for decades to come Now one of the things pointed out by skeptics and brushed under the rug by believers about the Reverend Henry bull is that he died of tertiary syphilis About 30 years after building the rectory. What is tertiary? Tertiary means the very end of it. Like it's just you die of like you just die of syphilis Okay, yeah, yeah tertiary meaning outside. You can see it look like a beef tip You become a bunch of crazy sour meat. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, it's a horrible horrible death

Not a good way to go, huh? Yeah, but so the skeptics say like he was just hallucinating the whole time and that hallucinators hallucinations Carried over into his family, but and also they you know, the believers like they do not mention it Really at all. They don't like to talk about how Henry bull died. They just say he died. Well, that's doctor That's dr. Patient privilege. Yeah, there should we even be talking about Yeah, I think we're already yeah We're portraying the the legacy of Henry bull when we really should just be saying Henry bull like to fuck Yeah, I mean he died of a fuck like Malady. Yeah, it could be. I mean it's amazing. He was able to find all those ghosts even even with sufferings from syphilis

Well, I think that both sides are wrong. Oh Pointing it out or in sweeping it under the rug I mean, I really don't think it has anything to do with anything I mean while the hallucinations might have been a part of Henry's later years The hauntings experienced by the bull family occurred before the syphilis really kicked in and they continued after Henry's disgusting deaths. Hmm. See as far as the phantom nun goes She's most often seen walking outside in the garden In fact, she was seen so often the path where the sightings tend to happen is still called the nun's walk

Now we don't know exactly when the sightings of the nun began for the bull family But we do know that they came so often that the reverend bricked up the dining room window in 1875 specifically because the nun was seen so frequently Because I feel like he'd been seen in the nunner after a while. It just looks like a nun walking He's like, oh, that looks like a fine young lad And then she'd look and smile and wink. He's like, oh Flirty That's wonderful. I should strangle him. And then he starts to realize it's a ghost

But eventually the nun gets sexier and sexier and it starts becoming like do you remember the fantasy that? Chess that Of course In a national and putz chris vacation, of course, we should start singing that it's a juicy scene It is nuns out there just going like And he just starts screaming I would break up this window How dare you how dare you flirt with me in front of my beautiful wife who shaped like a spiral

Yeah, I mean really that's ridiculous dinner is for flirting. You know, you can't be flirting a breakfast No way too early for that. Now all of this seems to imply that Henry bull was losing his mind from cephalus I think the explanation here is far more domestic I think Henry bull break up the window to keep the sightings of the nun from distracting the kids at dinner time. Make sense This is this is really true. Yeah, I can't really can't stress this enough The ghost sightings that happen immediately at Borley rectory Were off the fucking chain. They were happening all the time They talked about this shit as if they were roommates the um the different phantoms

They would see specifically the phantom nun and so while they would go and watch it became such a part of the family that it Literally be like there's the nun again as they were walking through like it was this shadow that just lived with them But I think it's important to see that they weren't threatened by it No, they didn't feel scared. It was just this kind of fact about their entire house Nuns just hanging out Well, the reason why I say that they weren't afraid of it and why this And why you know, this problem was more domestic than anything Is because Henry bowl also built a summer house that had a place in it specifically for watching the phantom nun

Early in the morning as an almost meditative commune with the spirit world Oh And it wasn't just the bull family who saw the nun during this time either a friend of Henry bowls named P Shah Jeffrey Also said he saw the nun several times But concerning P Shah his most important contribution to the story is actually of the intelligent haunting variety And this is one of the very very few intelligent hauntings that happened during this time period P Shah said that during one of his visits his french to english dictionary

Disappeared and despite searching high and low nobody could find it But a few nights later P Shah said he was awoken in the middle of the night by a sudden loud thump on the floor He led a candle and looked down and there on the floor was the missing Dictionary and the dictionary had seemingly appeared from thin air because the room where Jeffrey was sleeping was in fact Locked and indeed he looked up and he saw Gerard Depardieu And Gerard Depardieu said yes one day. I will be a famous actor not just in France But in america too. What is it with the two you and Gerard Depardieu?

He's funny because I remember when he went skiing behind the motorboat He what I love about him. He's got big nose. Yeah memory Pete on that flight. Yeah, of course I remember you two mentioned Gerard Depardieu like once a month. He's a hammered weird looking frenchman But he was a sex symbol, but he was like he's got he's got big swollen bad lips tiny french eyes that weird thin frenchman hair You must have smelled like a goddamn cheese goat But he was eating bush and finger and b for decades I don't know like we can't explain it, but women love Gerard Depardieu. I love them. I guess Well concerning the reason why the ghost may have taken the french dictionary

Could it be that the murdered french nun of yesteryear was attempting to learn english in order to communicate? It's like the movie green card With Gerard Depardieu Maybe maybe she was we'll see in episode two Oh I've been having a gremlin problem to my house Really because now I've been dealing with time time again because you know, we've said it again. I'm ghost repellent I've never seen anything paranormal. I'm not close to anything paranormal

But I now have several people between amber. I mean I'm as reliable as they are Amber Nelson, Jackie Zabrowski Several other people have come to my home and have immediately said that the house is haunted that our apartment is haunted And I've had other neighbors tell us that our entire apartment complex is haunted Do you think it's the John Wayne Gacy painting or all of the other creepy icky spooky things that you have in your house? Like the bigfoot thing it is it's interesting because It's true, right? I have a haunted chair like I had a chair that I bought From a antique store that they said they couldn't sell because people kept bringing it back

It was this thing that was this chair that they have that they said that had bad juju and I bought it because it was cheap And then I have a real life pole of a cheese goblin from mandy from the actual original pole that sits in that chair all day Okay, but all right my remote controls keep going missing my belt went missing that was on my pants It went missing right and there's a lot of people say Harry spoke a lot of weed No, but also not just the weed I was actually going to talk about the cups of whiskey you drink at night And you call it you call it your at-home drink so then you can say oh, I had one drink But you're filling up 32 ounce old mcdonald plastic cup. Yeah, it's for senator fingers

In my home. Yes, but it's in my home. So it's not alcoholism. No, no, no, technically that is actually opposite Yeah, that is totally the opposite. Yeah, it's a drink in public. Yeah No, no, no, no, I drink at home alone normal And so but I but Natalie's not like that Natalie's not an alcoholic or a stoner. So She also noticing things have been going missing all the time And so I have a grandma in my house Jackie says that there's a ghost living in our little upstairs balcony Which I've never seen people say they feel like they're being watched in my apartment

I don't think it's the cameras I put in there because they can't see those cameras And the rest of it is the like but then eddie then did blame it that I put a demon in a haunted chair But what I did was is that I put a joint out and a bunch of coins in front of the cheddar goblin And I found the remote controls But my belt is gone. There you go. All right. My fucking belt is gone Encounters with the paranormal seem to be a bit of a family tradition when it came to the bulls In 1970 a diary was discovered in a junk shop in nearby Sudbury Written by Carolyn bull known as dodie to the family

This diary written when dodie was 21 covers a 10 month period between 1884 and 1885 And details the social engagements and events that made up the lives of the bull sisters But one entry in particular written as almost a casual afterthought Suggested that at least one of the bull sisters was practiced in the paranormal It read quote October a it rained And I tried chair moving in the evening I made a chair walk all over the room and answer questions some of which were quite right

I asked it the age of a friend of Mary and it said 25 which was quite right It is great fun and I seem to have a great deal of electricity in me as I can make it walk quite fast Father came home by the 610 train from Burry Ma'am, did you have sex with this chair? It made me horny officer. Remember my question for you is do I make you horny? Really ma'am, you're going to be quite amazing if you're really going to quit a movie that doesn't come out for another 300 years, is that it? Director! Ma'am, you've turned into a longshoreman

Well, some of the other girls in the bull family personally reported strange goings on as well Ethel Bull, bull, bull, bull, bull, bull, bull Ethel Bull said that she would wake up in the middle of the night To see an old man wearing dark old-fashioned clothes and a tall hat Silently standing next to her bed and just when I went to unfurl his penis from his zipper Nothing was there Why can't my penis come with me to the afterlife? We told you you have to leave one body part behind

And you say I have penis because you didn't want to lose a foot TAKE MY FOOT! You want your foot now? Well, I'm sorry, you don't have it. You can't get it. You do have it and you can't get your penis back This is a cock rectory And the bull family's employees experienced paranormal activity as well Although they did not share the cavalier attitude that the bulls seemed to have towards their ghostly companions In 1886 a nursemaid reported that she had been in the bull household for about two weeks When she was suddenly awakened in the middle of the night by the sounds of heavy

Slippard footsteps The footsteps got louder and louder, but once the steps seemed to be right outside her door They stopped no one entered But no one walked away either The nursemaid left two weeks later because the place was so in her words Weird Sounds like the final days of a playboy model at the playboy mansion. Just like they're like they just hear you after weird sliding feet

Hugh, is that you? Where's she going? Is she going? Oh, yeah, the whole house is covered in carpet. I can't hear anything I was listening to more foot. I was listening to more footage of A paranormal like ghost hunters in Borley Rectory or the area Borley Rectory because now they just go fucking camp Yeah, that may have the church across the street So they'll go and that shit it's real noisy Again, they're old. These are obviously old structures. So they do tend to make noises But the stuff they're hearing is kind of crazy. It is the kind of stuff you read about for years and years and years

It's the thumps and the moans and the like phantom door closing as big at Borley Rectory where you hear like Like it's a fucking Halloween sound effects album that's happening, but you're not hearing it presently It just shows up on recordings So now they got a lot of folks out there at the rectory hanging out really doing investigations Do you think that means do you think that makes it more haunted or less haunted? You know, do you think that because there's so many folks out there really focused on all their energy on you know Wanting to see a ghost do you think that triggers it or do you think these ghosts are like come on guys? You know, we've been doing this all we've been doing this for 300 years. Give us a break

Well, it's the observation effect, you know And some people say that but simply by observing something you change the nature of it So I completely believe that and I don't think ghosts are here for us. I don't think if whatever ghosts are I think especially residual hauntings. This is some this is one of those Uh science questions that will one day be answered. Yeah, that we don't know what the hell this is I think there is some form of natural explanation of what it is But for some reason the scope of our attention seems to destroy it They can't get definitive proof of it because every single time they do they come back with nothing or something's very

Something like low stakes, but what they all say when I fully believe is that the paranormal is a personal experience Yeah, paranormal is between new It is something about the mix of your consciousness with either the collective unconscious Mixed with uh actual natural things that are going on or intelligences That are interdimensional You know, they're just saying shit. No, absolutely sober I'm not ready yet. Although Henry, check your waistline. You've lost your belt Oh, I'm sorry

Oh, I'm covered in ectoplasm Now the reverend Henry bull died in 1892 in what would come to be known as the blue room But remember Henry died of syphilis Which suggests that the reverend bull was a bit of a horny little devil Horny little toad And there are rumors that seem to support this It's thought that Henry bull also impregnated a maid named Katie Borum who worked in the rectory kitchen And the girl died soon after

Oh, he's a real governator You reference Arnold Schwarzenegger way too much. That's the thing That's what I was thinking earlier is that it's only going to be a matter There's Gerard Depardieu and Arnold Schwarzenegger having sex with the maid that I don't know what it is I just think it's such a wonderful story for that maid Yeah, I think it's just such an incredible dream that came true for her And I wish that something equivalent could have happened to me back in the day when I was young and impressionable Uh-huh. I think you mentioned it twice in the Mormonism series alone. Weird. I don't know why

You know, I don't know. I don't know. It's okay. It's okay Well one story goes that Katie went into labor in the rectory kitchen on Easter Sunday 1888 and she died there along with the child. Oh my goodness. That's that is sad for Easter Sunday Yeah for the for one of the cooks to die after your husband is impregnated her. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, man You don't get that ham That only is the affair revealed, but there goes all the tapestries. There goes the lamb There goes the stew. Oh, man. We're almost in ham season again Where I can finally buy a whole ham at the at the grocery store. You know, we don't live in North Korea, right?

Like you can buy a full ham like any day Yeah, but it's at my local grocery store There's something about going to the local grocery store and getting the whole ham and carrying it home and all that You just want to walk like you're the violator from spawn This is his bob cratchit moment where he takes a big silver coin and he goes with he can gets a little local cripple boy to sit on his shoulder and he's he's singing a song about Christmas and he gets a big ham It comes he takes it home. No bag. There's free hand and ham down the street. Good. I'll take the ham But can you take the plastic off of it before I carry it with my bare hands on the street?

Well, we do actually know that a Katie Borum was buried in Sudbury in 1888 But others think without evidence that Henry bull to keep the whole affair a secret committed murder Murder either giving in to the darkness at Borley rectory or adding to the misery and pain already present But at any rate when Henry bull's sephilitic brain finally up and died his son Harry took over as rector for Borley and Many of Harry's sisters continued living there with both him and their mother Yeah, so in this case, it's rector. You know what? I killed her I actually did kill her and I

The joke is evolving. Yeah, the joke is changing I do like how this became like a really depressing haunted mansion version of king of queens The thing is the activity seemed to only get stronger after Henry bull died on july 28th 1900 The bull sisters were returning to the rectory from a small local party. You just see them picking out their grundles Just uh, what a party that was huh sister bull. Yeah sister bull. That was a pretty good time wasn't it? As they approached the house Ethel Frida and Mabel all saw the figure of a nun Dressed in black with their head bowed gliding along the nun's walk Thinking that maybe they were all hallucinating one of the girls ran into the house and grabbed Dodie to make sure she saw it too

Now Dodie figured it was just a nun out on a walk Well, maybe the nun was collecting for charity But when Dodie approached the figure the nun completely vanished Get her That was your plan, right? Now to the Reverend Harry bull all of this was absolutely Fascinating having shared his father's keen interest in the paranormal Harry bull never had the slightest problem with any of the ghosts at Borley rectory

And was actually a member of one of britain's Psychical societies. He was super into it See harry sounds like the cool pastor. You know the guy only wears a tar Yeah, you know jesus was the original hippie. Yeah, man. He had hearings and stuff like that. He also didn't mind piercings They hold up their hands You're like, oh, I see because he was crucified. Is that why he did my piercings because you know what he actually did mind them Because it really hurt when he was like, yeah, you screaming. Yeah screaming and then they fucking starved him to death on a fucking crucifix But no, it's really cool that you wear jinkas

Like a cool pastor Well, harry bull only wore his clerical dress on sundays and was described by all of his friends as quote perfectly normal The normal guy normal guy normal guy The only odd thing about harry bull Was that he could hail a specter as easily as one could hail a friend. Hold on a second The description of him is a normal guy. Uh-huh, except for he can hail a ghost So, you know what i'm gonna say abnormal Just not not the most normal guy just because he wears

Levi jeans How much more exciting would i be as a friend if i was just been like Oh, hey guys, we got to record. You're right. You gotta record see you soon samuel clements The real name of mark twain and then mark twain just appears next to me. We can just fucking high five each other Look, yeah To fucking hell normal guy pretty normal friend henry. Yeah, you know totally normal. Yeah Well, everybody in town liked harry bull. He was like a local character He because he always just talked about the ghost on the record grounds and just a matter of fact tone

It's like, yeah, we got ghosts. What about it? It's cool. You can come see him if you want. I wish you would stop talking about it harry was also a cat man Because borley rectory never had any less than 20 cats during his tenure. They'd follow him around everywhere Again questioning the perfectly normal I feel like only the recently divorced man is a true cat man Oh, yeah, I mean like where your cats have become just like you just imagine Your 20 cats are each just 120th of the woman that you used to love. Yeah, just cut to him trying to check into a Motel six extended stay with a bag. That's just

actively full of cats Like sir, sir, do you have cats in that bag sir? Because no, no, this is my work computer. That's your work sounds like cats Well, there were so many cats that borley rectory had a cat cemetery There you could see headboards for each and every cat with names like jim sandy or rollo Rollo the cat's key. Yeah, it is cute. They've cat one through five They've catty catsburg

They got borley rectory jr. Oh Bronco's the cat rumpels the cat Licky the cat. He was killed. Adolf Hitler. No, no, that's not a cat grave. That is the real grave Adolf Hitler next to his dog Adolf Hitler But the bulls could have also been heaping all these dead cats on top of a centuries old plague pit Oh Come on. You you moved You moved the stones, but you didn't move the body

You gotta move the bodies guys Come on. I rewatched that recently. That is so stupid. What you moved the bodies. You gotta move the body. No shit Dude, it was all over enbru. The entire place is that seed the entire city is that seed There are bones in the masonry Good Knicks bones in with the masonry for years the bones of the deceased But if you want to think that this is like, oh, this is old-timey thinking after 9 11 would never forget after

Obviously after 9 11 when they were excavating they would stop construction every time they found a fragment of a bone And I know it was to like identify it, but I guarantee you there was also a fire captain It was like if there's one bone stuck down here, this whole place is haunted So it doesn't even matter. There's one bone world traits that are ones going to look real nice for ghosts to live in. Okay All right See during the great plague of 1664 to 1665 It was a tradition amongst the locals to throw the dead bodies in a big pit on the rectory grounds And before you say that this was the cause of the haunting know that this was fairly common in england

Plague victims were thrown about pretty willy nilly Which is one of the reasons why it's still fairly easy to find human remains in the uk dirt Oh, which is why marcus feels so at home there and why he loves the food so much. Oh, it is extremely bizarre It is notoriously known although, you know, it's gotten better. It's so much better. But no, it is not so It is not as it is better for itself, but it's not seasoned. Uh, it is absolutely seasoned We're gonna get it just a long this is for a relax fit episode because marcus can literally taste a granule of salt And any food that's in there a single pepper

Yeah, he can taste well I will say that I did find some good blood sausage here in the neighborhood. So I'm feeling pretty good about that I'm so happy Now there are some people who say that harry bull's experiences with the paranormal once again hallucinations But unlike his father harry bull did not have syphilis Rather harry bull was a narcoleptic. You'll never be as good as your father harry Now narcolepsy doesn't that also have some hallucinatory properties as well? What narcolepsy you just kind of fall asleep or you but you're not super tired all the time

Uh, narcolepsy is a pretty uh, wide and varied Uh disease or I wouldn't call it disease. I guess a disorder. Uh, people have different uh symptoms with narcolepsy Some people seem to be like very tired. They just don't remember anything that they're doing Uh others do just like doze off immediately. Uh, and some people with narcolepsy They're they are just tired all the time narcolepsy is not like a one and done type of thing I actually I actually this is true. I've just watched a great documentary about narcolepsy It was called deuce bigelow male jiggalo And at one point he goes on a date with a woman who's neck. Who's neck. Who's necrolarptic

Necrolarptic Necrolarptic and anyway to keep her from putting her face into the soup He ties her hair to a pole So I love that documentary that documentary is incredible and it was stiffed at the ask Because just to see the emotional arc of a male jiggalo Yep. No, I agree when he when he went through Yeah I still on it. Yep. I know

Well, harry ball was known to doze off in the middle of meals and was found sleeping in his garden more than a few times It's funny though But during harry's time at the rectory more than a few people outside of his family saw the nun One local named tomson said that he used to go to the rectory to play dominoes with harry ball But on one series of nights tomson kept getting rebuffed again and again by the sight of a nun coming in and out of the house Thompson figured the rector was just busy each night got none business So he went home each night and tried again the next finally on the fourth night Thompson managed to get to the reverend before the nun and harry asked where tomson had been all these nights

When tomson said that he saw that a nun was out and about on the grounds harry responded matter of factly Oh, you saw the ghost don't worry. She's always around Uh, what? What? Hey, um, choose any one of these cuts for your pattern all of the evening. I would say choose gapie Gapie is obviously the most forgiving of my pets I've just heard two pieces of information that is horrified down gapie

Down I haven't time for you. It's done business to be about But there was one apparition that rattled even harry bull It was the only time that harry bolt said that he was a little bit afraid of one of these things One day harry thought he'd spotted a poacher on the rectory grounds But he was only able to see the man's legs through the trees But when harry pushed through the bushes what he thought was a poacher was actually A headless apparition who'd scampered away and disappeared when harry got too close Yeah, I wonder how it must just make gurgly sounds really

Yeah I just don't think it would scamper away Would it that is that kind of scary? Yeah, like the idea of it doing like fucking jack skellington dance Like away from you in the bushes. Yeah scampering him away making that noise that uh, that the judge doom made and who framed raja Rabbit after he got flattened out that Dude, no fucking spoilers, man Good noises Well, the employees of the bull family continued being tormented by the ghost during harry's tenure as well

The bull family gardener edward cooper and his wife lived on the grounds in the rectory cottage between 1916 and 1929 and they had their fair share of ghostly experiences They said that night after night They heard the sound of a dog padding around in the hallway outside of their room And the sound continued every night until it finally culminated with a fantastic crash in the kitchen But whenever cooper went to see what happened. He saw that everything in the kitchen was an apple pie order Weird app wouldn't have been actually scarier if it was harry bull nude

I'm sorry I was playing a game with my cats I was their adversary and we were having a mental tet-a-tet to see who was the most superior It's like a ghost marmadude Of course the cooper saw the nun, but their most impressive sighting was that of the phantom coach The coach a coach not like not a not I don't want to whistle but challenge flag like a coach. It's not like demy johnson hanging around and they're That's a great. That's a 30 year old sports reference. You guys are literally doing great Who's the guy from the book from the from the Steelers or the mustache? Oh, yeah, uh, Gorbachev

Yeah, right randall grammar randall grammar duper check bill duper check bill duper check it is Mike tomlin is there now No, the one before that the one that always let the one that looked like bill the butcher Uh hersher britt. No, I don't do this guy's name. No, actually I'm getting stuck. You know, he's very very famous. Yeah Yeah, his name is um, aduardo peppermint Oh, he'll come to me. I'll shoot. I'll shout it out and interrupt you guys what it does No, like a carriage not a coach Not a football coach like a carriage like a horse-drawn carriage. Oh

Forget about it Okay Bob Uker Well on one moonlit night cooper said he was looking out of his window while getting undressed for bed When he saw two lights approaching the rectory And as the lights drew nearer cooper realized that they were the lamps of an old fashioned coach Two black horses pulled the carriage and two men in top hats drove it and the whole thing passed through a hedge Through the courtyard and across the road without making a single sound

You can just see their faces. It is the scene of the uh It is the scene of the grave digger in the haunted mansion ride of him I'm just them staring at the window Just see this fucking phantom coach just like ripping around the outside of their house just going What the fuck it's this fucking bullshit Meanwhile, you got harry bull just like letting cats feed off his nipples. You sit here being like I can't seem to mother them Oh, I wish I could provide food just for my own simple bonus But I guess it is another night of tuna for my poor daughters

Oh Give him something well cooper hollered for his wife But by the time she got to the window the coach was gone A one of the more underrated specters in my opinion at Borley Rectory is one both the cooper's and harry bull saw See one night mr. And mrs. Cooper woke up to see a black shape in the form of a little man running around their bedroom That's fun. Yeah, they didn't really comment on the mood of the specter. They just said little man running around Like bed, uh, what was it dev dev robs and doorknobs bed bedrock and doorknobs my brain is done Bed bed bedrock bed. You know what I'm talking about. No, you're having a struggle right now

I want to I just want to hear what you say what words come out of bed knobs and doorknobs It is a movie You sound like a man who's wandered into a joey and fabrics right before clothing right before closing Who has just been getting hammered on jinn outside with the dumps is because my bed knobs and and my drumsticks My brain is split into four ways right now because i'm trying to remember the name of the damn stealers coach Because I know her audience knows it and they're screaming inside of their kios right now Do you want me to look it up? No, I don't want to look it up. Absolutely not come to me

Bob yooker. No, it's not bob yooker broomsticks and doorknobs But either way he's sort of he is correct This shit's really really strange you have like everybody's seeing shit who's live inside this house You got a tiny little ghost version of burgess meredith show it up like in the shadows going like I don't want to you can have a she's too fat This isn't a totally different house. This is in the carriage house This is not in the rectory itself because the actually the rectory grounds are quite large

You got the house. You got the carriage house. You got the summer house There's all sorts of play. There's all sorts of places for ghosts to hide and appear Well, that's why I find interesting back when this is a literally a new construction because they had to keep each family As they went they expanded the house and they would build new Different areas different rooms hallways as the family increased and they said every single time they build a new house Every single time they build a new room fucking ghosts would show up in it. It's like it's a it's a hotel No kidding Now the little old man that they saw running around the room could be

Another gardener who'd been employed by the bull family 200 years previous named old amos Damn see amos was a bit of a family character and stories about old amos had been handed down through the generations And the link between harry and cooper concerning old amos came When harry bull saw the figure of a little old man on the rectory lawn one day According to harry the old man had one hand pointed towards the sky and the other pointed to the ground up there is where the birds live Down there is where my daughter lives Man that's sad

Jeez, I don't even want to know how your daughter died I did it It's just face facts. I did it coach cower cower nice And when harry got close enough to look at this specter's face He saw that the specter had all the distinct facial features of the old amos from the stories And of course the apparition vanished before harry could communicate

And that's the interesting thing about these apparitions. They never even acknowledged the living much less spoke to them They did not in any way communicate with people. Do they see the people? No, okay No, no communication. No real acknowledgement If they did indeed exist these apparitions were nothing more than impressions that disappeared should anyone get too close if you view If you view residual hauntings sort of like a museum with many exhibits that your house becomes like a place Or you new enter rooms It seems to be like this is I guess a theory

I mean who fucking knows because there's some people say that ghosts are literally plasma They are a type of material that we haven't even identified But one thing that it could possibly be Is a the idea that you go in and literally the spark of your living energy the actual electricity That goes through your body essentially creates harmony With particles that have been there forever the idea of bell serum is true one of these one of those But many times quoted by stoners at 1 15 in the morning like the idea that all physics breaks down at the quantum level that unless there is

Basically if we want to insist that there's such a thing as an objective reality outside of our consciousness There's a lot of problems with physics But one of the things that that would encapsulate is that literally the energy of your body would fire up Residual things that had been there before human bodies that were in those rooms or in that area They're particles touched the atoms and the all of the bullshit I'm obviously probably just butchering this But there you go and They're simple impressions on reality are there

And then your energy creates harmony between those impressions and then they come to life. They like turn on Hmm, uh, henry your belt's back What's even more interesting is that it seems as if some of the people who saw the ghost during the bull residency Later became Borley ghosts themselves That's the dream come true. I don't think it is. Why not these ghosts don't seem to be doing that bad Honestly, they're just walking around having a good time. I don't think they're having a good time They said most of the time the nun looked like she was in great pain. She's a nun. Have you ever seen a nun smile and they're not allowed to

Yeah, katheena jimmy. She's always smiling. Katheena jimmy is not a real nun It's unbelievably fake No, I loved I can't wait to haunt my apartment You're gonna haunt the one that you have an la or just whichever one you die in Every everywhere I go. I hope to haunt it. Okay Well, it's said that the reverend harry bull became a ghost himself when he died in 1927 In the same blue room that his father had passed away in 35 years previous But we'll get to harry's ghost on episode two. Oh, so many great teasers for part two

Do you think that he was just about to die and he's like wait? Wait, I've got to go to the daddy death room And then just dragged himself to the blue room to make sure he died just where daddy died You know, there's no window sill in here Now with harry gone, there were no more bulls willing to take over the rectory But by the time harry died, borley rectory was an established haunted house 12 clergymen passed over the job until it was finally taken by the reverend ge smith Come on

My bad Now ge smith took the job specifically because he did not believe in the paranormal Pretty soon after he and his wife arrived They started experiencing all new sorts of phenomena and all began with whispering Night after night, they heard murmurs and only once did ge smith make out anything comprehensible I think I heard story Chevy chase Gee smith heard a very urgent voice saying don't carlos don't What in the world is carlos eating too much ice cream again?

Stop sealing their material carlos write your own jokes After that the servant bells began to ring mysteriously and the smiths heard the same slow deliberate footsteps in the upper passages Heard by so many people before Two successive maid servants quit after seeing the nun and another maid servant saw the phantom coach Now the smiths hadn't grown up with the ghosts like the bulls had and they sincerely wanted either an explanation or An end to the madness So for some reason they thought the best people to ask for help was the daily mail Always of course. Why wouldn't you might as well? You have a better chance literally asking coach bill cower

And it was through the daily mail that borley rectory was introduced to a paranormal researcher named harry price And that's where we'll pick back up next week for all the poltergeist Body exhumations and dissociative housewives as you can handle on borley rectory part two And thank you very much to uh neil friend neil friend for uh Suggesting borley rectory. This is the fella that you had the ghost tour with yeah Yeah, I mean her on the ghost tour with and he showed us all of the wonderful public execution spots in all edinburgh isn't that great It was really wonderful. No, and I'm excited about this tale. We have a whole month of spooky coming at you We have this spooky next week more spooky something a little more funny and spooky the next week and something truly disgusting

For halloween week. That's great. I'm really excited for you. We really play our cards right ge smith from saturday night live We'll be on the next episode Really gotta do it. Um awesome borley rectory. That was part one part two coming up next week That is very exciting very spooky if you have any ghost stories or alien stories or Whatever stories that are creepy and spooky send them to side stories Lpotl at gmail.com Henry and I are going to be reading two weeks. We're doing two weeks of listener creep show Stories and the goal the goal is to be scary. That's where we're shooting for we're shooting for scary

Not just big foot erotica. I mean some might get in there Yeah, but it's like you find it. Yeah. Yeah, but it just it seems to come to me Really? It just shows up. Also. We are going to be on the road here in the very near future We are so excited to finally go to florida. Oh, yeah, my family might Henry's family So we got tampa we got Orlando and and the big show in Miami So if you are in Miami or in the surrounding area for lauderdale Just come on out. Enjoy the beautiful weather. We'll get some

We'll get some arapas and some cubanos and we'll have a great time together So see you in Miami cannot wait october. I'm very excited about this cuban food. Oh, I love. Oh my god It doesn't we do that does LA have good cuban food You know, no, I that's one of those foods. I don't eat outside of florida. Yeah, I love good cuban food As do I give me a pickle on a sandwich. They love pickles on They love pickles on a sandwich, but they just do it right. Mm-hmm. Do you ever had ham croquettes? Yeah With the liquefied ham all fried into like little nuggets. Oh my well, I definitely have to get that I'm a bit of a ham connoisseur. I believe that liquefying the ham ruins the taste

She's insane. Yeah He's the same because then you get a liquefied ham. It gets faster in your system He would you tell me he's not gonna eat. I give you a jug of liquefied ham You're gonna sit there with a fucking for an afternoon. You're gonna be looking at a ham going No, wait, wait does it taste but you know you're gonna be taking some nips off of it next thing you know You're gonna be up to your fucking eyelashes In liquefying Marcus is like the only guy that would ever go to prison and then on the way out He'd look at the prison chef and be like, what was the recipe for the milo because I gotta say

That milo. Oh, what is it? Oh, it's mostly your cum and a little salt. Okay. Thank you Oh, liquefied ham makes that makes the liquefied ham makes the ham taste squeaky Squeaky is not a taste so that actually that doesn't make any sense He has like synesthesia It is for making bad food It tastes good. You can't you can't make something taste squeezy. It doesn't That's not the way that word works. Well, this is a this is a long story If you come to Miami, you'll hear a little bit more about this and we need you to come to Miami

Uh got Tampa. Tampa's pretty much sold out Orlando's pretty much sold out. Come on out to fucking Miami It's gonna be fun. And what better place to see us three Oh, how much do we love the sunshine? Oh my god. I love it. I love it. How much are we just beach boys? We're just beach guys leech my bones. I know it. Yeah. No, I mean Marcus doesn't have to actually take synthetic vitamin d Which you can naturally get from the sun No, no, no, we're we're outdoor people. So yes, some join us join us in Miami our most natural of habitat Absolutely, and the dates for that are October 18th in Tampa October 19th in Miami and October 20th in Orlando

Also, we're going to be doing a live site or not. We Henry and binner could be doing a live side stories from Washington, DC on November 8th And then of course we have another tiny little tour in the northeast. That's portland main on 11 21 Northampton, Massachusetts on November 22nd in Buffalo, New York on 11 23 And then finally we're going to have Toronto Detroit and Columbus on December 5th 6th and 7th every single one of those shows You can buy tickets over on last podcast on the left.com. All right And we have one last Secret weekend of shows that is about to be unveiled

Which plays people and asks us to go for a while Very very excited. Yeah, because we are gonna die there Um, all right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. Thanks for supporting all the shows here on the last podcast Network, I'll just do a little plug here for kind of fun. That should be dropped in the stream So if you had a chance to listen to that, thank you so much And uh, Katie and I are loving interviewing all the wrestling up-and-comers and wrestling stars And uh, we're gonna keep on doing that. So thank you all so much for your support and never forget. Hail yourselves Hail Satan again

mughustalations Hell me, man Hell me, man, because I might hurt my back sleeping. You did again again. Yeah You gotta stop doing that sleeping. No, you need to I gotta stop sleeping. You need to sleep in his bed That's the problem of that before yeah, and I hurt my back putting on my shoes all the time. That's normal kind of But this is like crazy. Maybe it's gremlins. Maybe it is the gremlins This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors

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