Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 392: Sexual Liaisons with the Alien

Episode Date: November 23, 2019

On today’s episode, we tell the stories of three cases of alien abduction in which sex, specifically sex for the purposes of breeding alien species with male human studs, was the motivating factor behind the abductions.

Hey guys, my name is Jackie Zabrowski, and I'm Holder McNeely, and we are so excited to announce Page 7 at Wizard of the Bruiser LIVE! Los Angeles, we are coming at you December 11th at 8pm at the Regent Theatre! And then we've got some Midwest dates in early January, that's January 9th in Chicago, Illinois, at Lincoln Hall, we've got the Crow football room in Pontiac, Michigan the very next night on January 10th, and on January 11th, we will be rockin' the Papst, and that is gonna be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and I can't wait to eat a bunch of cheese curds! Come freeze with us, get tickets at lastpodcastnetwork.com slash P7Live, again, freeze with us, every

ticket can be bought at lastpodcastnetwork.com slash P7Live! Can't wait to see you all there! Bye! There's no place to escape to, this is the last talk, on the left, that's when the cannibalism started. What was that? I just want to say, um, thank you for choosing me to be one of your, I guess, human studs. My name is Tomathon, you chose a man named Tomathon to help you bring you into this

universe, I'm assuming you're a woman, because they gave you tits, and I say thumbs up, thank you for the breasts, to your boss, is it your boss who's doing this? Wow, that pubic hair is incredibly red. Bristly, right. Oh, your voice is a surprise. Yeah, yeah, the voice doesn't match the tits. Now, tell me, are we going to begin to make love, or are we going to just sit around and flap our guns at each other?

It won't be love. Oh, look at those, it's at my home, it's at my pee pee home! Welcome to the last podcast on the left, everyone. I am Ben, hanging out with Marcus, and of course Henry Zabrowski as well. We are in beautiful, rainy Maine, and it is... We're in Massachusetts. We're in Massachusetts. He just told us he was having a series of dreams while we were driving in the van of

our driver being headless and blood spurtin' everywhere, and I don't want to hear anymore of your dreams. No, the dream wasn't the driver being headless, the dream was that the driver hit someone, and then their head went through the windshield, and then it went into the back, and then we both were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and then we threw it back out the window, and then we rubbed ourselves in perrel. Today's episode is about sexual liaisons with aliens. Now, I'm going to warn you right now, okay?

I know that there's a lot of people who expect us, I mean, like, we've been so mature. As always. Up until this point, serious, academic, comedians, subtle is what I've been called a lot, but today there might be some blue humor in there. Really? So that's a bit of a disclaimer. There's going to be some immature humor. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Today's episode, as Henry mentioned, sexual liaisons with aliens. We wanted to cover- Is it really liaisons? I'd say liaisons. I would say it's about half liaisons. Okay, sexual half liaisons with the alien. The goal was to cover a series of abduction cases, right, because I'm fascinated by the abduction phenomenon.

I think a lot of people are, and we kind of wanted to get knuckles deep. Again, we might be immature today. It doesn't matter. I mean, you sleep face down, ass up, just hoping the alien beam comes to your weird Polish rump and sucks you into a spacecraft before they realize they've made a horrible mistake. But then they make you the number one chef on the airplane. That's the idea.

They don't know what kind of hog they purchased when they scooped me up. On today's episode, we aim to tell the stories of three cases of alien abduction in which sex, specifically sex for the purposes of breeding alien species with male human studs, was the motivating factor behind the abductions. God, it's already getting riled up on this. Of course. See, the thing about these sorts of abductions is that they are not a strictly recent phenomenon. Way back in 1957, a farmer in Brazil named Antonio Vila Boas-

Oh, I think it's Vias. Caroline is getting in there, though. Yeah, yeah. Vias, Antonio Vias Boas. Oh, goodness. He is a stud. He was abducted and sexed up by aliens one night when he was working in the fields. The part of the reason why I wanted to cover these these abductions is specifically because

it is from the very beginning of the recorded abduction scenario. Antonio Vias Boas happened pretty much at the same time as Betty and Barney Hill. So this type of shit, this type of milking, and not just in the hardcore way as we're going to get to, but in the fun way, by fucking, eww, eww, sklicka, sklicka, sklicka, sklicka. These are sex noises. Oh. Imitator content might come up in the show. It sounds like it.

But it's been like this since the very beginning. Oh, okay. But this alien encounter did not come without a preamble. Ten days before the abduction, Boas was opening his window to get a little fresh air when he saw a bizarre white light in the night sky. At first, he didn't pay much attention to it, but when he focused his eyes directly on the object, he saw that it appeared to speed towards him, who had scared the hell out of Boas, and caused him to shut the window and call for his brother, who saw the light

as well. And Boas wasn't alone the next time the aliens did a flyby either. On October 14th, Boas and his brother were working in the fields at night to escape the daytime heat when the light appeared hovering 300 feet above their heads. I carumba. I can't believe what I'm seeing. It's scary. But my question is, is that if you're farming at night, how the fuck can you see the corn?

They've got lights. They have light. This is 19 feet. This is not like 1842. I'm just saying. I'm just asking. It's hard. It's about farm.

It's hard to know. But I mean, the alien was providing a little bit of light for these people as well. Yeah. It's hard to know how much of them. But this time, instead of reacting with fear, Boas walked towards the light, which seemed to catch the UFO by surprise. Instead of speeding towards him again, the craft acted in a manner that could almost be described as flirtatious.

Well, this is it. You got to play hard to get. You got to start from the first glance. Yes. So Boas is like, he wanted it too much. This is a Henry Zabrowski move. So the UFO started moving from one side of the field to the other, according to Boas's movements.

I don't think you're ready for this jelly. She will be dead in 2027. You just predicted the death of what is that? That's Beyonce. Jennifer Lopez. I don't know what state we're in. Do you think J.Lo means Beyonce? I don't know anymore.

Well, Boas said he played this little game about 20 times before he finally got bored. You got bored of dancing with the UFO in a field at night with your brothers all hammered? 20 times. I'm going to get bored after I do it 20 times. Wow. But this is a once in a lifetime experience. None of these people are serious ufologists. They're farmers.

They're farmers. That's their first strike against them. Not being farmers, but not taking the job that they just got handed seriously. OK. How many times would you do it? I'd be there all fucking night. I know you would, but you would get bored. I bet you you'd do it less than 20 times.

You know what? I sometimes have been known to be lazy. When Boas stopped, the light blinked off like someone had thrown a light switch, but those small encounters were nothing compared to what happened the next night. On October 15, 1957, Boas was alone in the field near his tractor at about 1 a.m. when a red light appeared. Go to sleep, Mr. Tractor. Go to sleep, my son.

Get the tractor so it sleeps. That's how they go to bed. I love tractors. The light was so bright that it overtook the headlights of the tractor. Behind that red light, Boas said, was a large egg-shaped metal craft that seemed to be propelled by a spinning mechanism. Oh my god, it's the Zabrowski craft. Yes, it's the Thunderegg.

If you read about this account, apparently several other Brazilian towns had been buzzed by a fairly odd-shaped helicopter, because they had this kind of egg-shaped canopy like a sick bulls with a helicopter on top of it, immature content ahead. Uh-oh. Boas tried running for his tractor, but the engine died before he could get to it. Then three large hook-shaped protrusions shot out from the UFO, and then suddenly Boas felt two hands from two different beings grab each of his shoulders from behind. Uh-oh.

When Boas turned around, he saw three creatures wearing gray uniforms and round helmets, and those beings attached Boas to the hook and foisted the confused farmer up into the craft. Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, got the sperm farmer. We got him, boys. Let's get him up there. I hope these overalls can come off easily, because you're about to be bounced upon like you're a trampoline farmer, man. Oh my, no one likes to be a bouncy house.

But don't think- I do! I don't think three random hooks come out of the sky, hook your weird little Polish body, and all of a sudden you're just bounced upon. I just can't enter into this conversation, because we all know for a fact that I am a curious little cat. Curious cat with curious thoughts, sees a little box, he just wants to open up, sees one inside, sees a little pipe, thinks it's kind of cute, what's inside the pipe? Whiskers, because I've got shoulder hairs, kind of show how big the pipe can be that

I can fit inside, because my shoulder's hairs fit it, attached to my nervous system, but in reality sometimes curiosity does kill the cat. Yeah. Yeah, it does all the time. But I thought they were supposed to be sucked up by like a light. This is old school. Yeah. This is analog days.

I don't want to be treated like one of those characters from Toy Story with the claw. Not the claw! The claw! It sounds so much worse than getting sucked up by a light. That's a part of what's interesting about this phenomena is how decades go and as time goes the phenomena seems to change with our perception of reality and the things that we see all the time. And so having these kind of official looking aliens, early on, many aliens, besides Betty

and Barney Hill who saw straight up grays, a lot of discussions and sightings, especially of close encounters with the fourth kind, were just straight up dudes with just some time big noses and helmets and little jumpsuits just hanging around. Okay. Like Italian plumbers before the Mario Brothers. Oh my God, they were great plumbers. Although did the Mario Brothers really take the plumbing job seriously after they became superheroes?

Well, it all depends on if it's all real or not. Yeah. Or if it's not just an asbestos-fueled nightmare that they were all trapped in. That's when my grandfather died. According to Boaz, the Uniforms... He didn't get out of asbestos poison. This is good. This is good.

According to Boaz, the uniforms that the creatures wore were form-fitting without a single crease and were so tight that the aliens couldn't properly move their fingers. But Boaz assumed all three were there in some sort of official capacity because all of them had a badge made of reflective material about the size of a pineapple slice on their chest. See, this is just why lanyards have power. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta have nothing a little tiny helmeted nerd loves more than a kind of badge gives

you power. Perhaps the strangest item of clothing was their shoes. Each one wore shoes with lifts that appeared to be about three inches tall and the toes on each shoe curled upwards into a point like what a Christmas elf might wear. That's cute. Also, what's interesting about their outfits is that they are very similar to old drawings of fairies and the hildafook, the hidden people. So again, I'm gonna put my Jacques Vallée sash on, I'm a representative of the Jacques

Vallée fan society. Wow. And I'm gonna say, he talks about this many, many times, that this is the story of where all folklore comes from and the idea of the changeling where people are stolen, children are stolen and taken to another world and then brought back somewhat different. Okay. Once Boaz was inside the craft, he was led to a room with a strangely shaped table and backless swivel chairs.

The creatures then began communicating with him, but instead of using telepathy as is common in these cases, these aliens had a different approach. They directed Boaz to the examination table using a series of grunts, barks and yelps. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do, friend? Wow, it sounds like a weird kink.com video. Yeah. Well, he said that the grunts, barks and yelps were animalistic, but they did not have any

analog to any animal Boaz had ever heard on earth. It's not like they weren't impersonating any sort of other animal, that's just how these creatures communicated. Interesting. Now, Boaz said that the aliens were never forceful, but they were firm and before Boaz knew it, he was naked and the aliens were rubbing him down with a thick, colorless, odorless liquid that was neither cool nor unpleasant on his skin. And I can't say more clearly how difficult it is to cover a farmer in lube because they're

independent spirit. They are. They want to fight, they want to fight the grip, fight the grip, ask your father, barks. I would could not imagine someone kidnapping my father and lubing him. Although, you know, at the same time, the farmer needs a good rub down just like everybody else. Sure. Maybe more than anybody else.

I mean, they got all these rub downs. They're sore. So I bet you at some point you realize you got to lean in because you're not going anywhere. You're in a spacecraft. I don't think this is a rub down, though. This is more of just like a slathering. You're getting slathered. It's like when I was covering a peanut butter for your pretty face is going out where they

get every fucking crease to slather, slather and business like like you're the slice of ham and they're the mayonnaise guy, right, right. So once Bo asked was good and oiled up, they led him to another room, took blood samples specifically from his chin with the chalice like object. It was like a razor's edge and they placed it up against his chin and cut his skin upon impact and slowly bled him into this thing. Okay. And then they just left him to his thoughts.

Make it oiled up and bleeding. I wonder what I should have for lunch on Thursday because I had sandwiches today and I had soup yesterday and tomorrow's Wednesday, you know, tomorrow that's pizza when my pizza friends and my pizza club. So I guess Thursday is going to have to be trying to hold back the memories of being raped in this. Join yourself. Is there anything you need to water?

I thought you were speaking in English for a second. Geez. Alone with his thoughts lubed up, bleeding from the chin. But after a bit, smoke started pouring into the room. Now the smoke didn't necessarily hurt him, but it did make him nauseous enough to throw up in the corner. Well that definitely means something happened. Yeah.

They didn't give him a bucket or anything like that. They just filled the room with this mysterious smoke. I don't like this guy's loz I fair description of him being abducted so far. Just being like, this is Marcus's description. This is it. I'm not, I'm not reading from his. I'm not reading. He wrote the script.

This is your interpretation of where are you right now because so far he's just like I was rubbed down. It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. There was smoke. It was okay. It wasn't horrible puked in the corner. I've been reading.

I've been writing scripts for 300 episodes, 300 episodes. This doesn't just come out of your mind. No, it's the way he talked about it though because after the fact, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, you'll see. If you listen to the story, I am listening. You'll see that there's a reason why. Yeah. But once he got it all out, the door opened and a different kind of alien entered the

room. Yeah. A little bit different. What's the difference? This one was noticeably female and passably human, pale with platinum blonde hair, large, slanted blue eyes, and high prominent cheekbones on a narrow face that ended in a pointed chin. She also happened to be completely new. It's too late.

I've seen everything. As such, Boaz was able to see that she had high, firm breasts, a narrow waist, wide hips, and large thighs. Nice. Yeah, my friend. Although the hair on her head was blonde, her armpit hair and pubic hair was bright red. She got the leprechaun flu.

Whoa. Now, it was Boaz's assumption that the clear liquid the aliens had rubbed him down with earlier was some kind of aphrodisiac because despite the fact that he had just spent 10 minutes naked and puking on an alien spaceship. Straight up. They literally pull him in a room, right? So you got all these dudes fucking caring you and you've been hoisted up by a hook. They removed all your clothes from you, slathered you in vapor rub.

They literally covered all this shit. And then they zap you with gas and say, uh, uh, uh, uh. All of a sudden, he sits back and he's like, I'm super horny right now. Wow. He was super horny. All he could think of was having sex with this red pubic-haired alien standing in front of him. Okay.

She's just standing there, man. She's just standing there being like, I'ma break it off. I love her. Up in my guns. Oh my. Immature humor. A little bit. She walked towards him, took her in his arms and had sex with him in a variety of positions

over the course of about an hour. Wow. Got that farmer strength. Yes, indeed. Longevity. He said she spoke not a single word during the entire encounter, but rather communicated through a series of growls. Okay.

Okay. She didn't kiss him either. That's too close. It's too intimate. She's at work. She's like Julia Roberts. Yes. She's got to go back to her husband, her alien husband.

And Julia Roberts, pretty woman. They just took that from her real life. She does not kiss. Really? No. A boas speculated the reason why the alien didn't kiss him is because he'd just been throwing up a whole lot. Ah, that makes sense.

Didn't give him a toothbrush or anything like that. So instead, she just nibbled on his chin. It's like every single housewife in North Dakota, when their husband comes back from the bar, they can't kiss that night because they know he's been puking in the field. You're mad because you said I don't initiate enough and so I go have nine slits and I throw open a dumpster and now you're saying I smell like ramen. Marriage is tough. So once Boas finished, the aliens who had abducted him in the first place entered the

room in motion for the woman to join them. Before she left, she turned around, looked at Boas, rubbed her belly, then pointed upwards to the sky. How terrifying would that be if you met a woman on a dating app and you guys hooked up and then all this happened, totally silent. Up to now, it's cool. You're like, okay, we don't got to talk. We don't got to kiss.

I don't know. Whatever the hell your deal is. I mean, you are a distinct looking woman. Sure. She turns up and goes, rubbed her belly, basically being, got your baby, got it in my baby bank. One less egg. I got a shit out this month and I know how women work and how it's in body work.

That's exactly what they say when they get pregnant. One less egg. I have to shit out this month. As a matter of fact, I think that's how the doctor tells them, well, ma'am, nice news. You have one less egg to shit out this month or pregnant. We understand women, we represent women on the show. I know it. But still, I mean, he goobed in this alien.

I'm sure he did. Of course he did. He's got a loob. Yeah, there's no candoms. Yeah. I mean, he could have pulled out. I don't think she was going to allow that to happen. How distracted is he already?

It's so difficult to pull out. It's all your concentration. Yes. He's got all this shit going on. He's doing the cartwheel. He's doing the Jimmy Shack. He's doing the wheelbarrow. Fly from your grave, fly from your grave.

Boaz said that despite the strange circumstances surrounding his romantic encounter, he thoroughly enjoyed the experience. See, this is what we're saying is that he, at the very end of it, which is just, man, it just shows the limited capabilities of a man to allow anything to enter emotionally into the center of their brain. Right. Because he just got juiced. Hard, he's like, in the end, it all adds up.

I'm fucking even Stephen's for me, man. And he's a single guy. But did they give him his clothes back? Yeah, they gave his clothes back. And then they just sent him back? Well, he said that his only real problem with it was that he was kind of being treated like a breeding stallion. Yeah.

Bit of a stallion. But it's kind of a compliment too that they saw him and they're like, that's the one to stud. Yeah. And it sounds he had reason to feel that way. They did return his clothes and they did lead him back to the entrance room. But once they got there, the aliens just kind of ignored him like one would ignore a horse after a successful mate with a mare.

That's weird, Marcus. That's a weird analogy. Because I don't even know. Well, if he's a stallion, then that means they bring in the stallion. But to be true to the stallion, like do they like... But then after it fucks the other horse, you guys turn around with your arms crossed and like, I can't even look at you right now. Well, you don't purposely ignore it.

It's just the stallion's job is done and you don't have to pay attention to the stallion anymore. But wouldn't you feed it some oats? I mean, you feed it when you need to feed it, but you're not going to give it like, here's your fuck oats. You should definitely give it fuck oats. Where are my fuck oats? You can get fuck oats if you want.

Yeah, I got to buy my own damn fuck oats. I've not seen that in the cereal aisle. It's a very controversial cereal aisle. These post fuck bran. Hope you like it. Yeah, we got a bee as our little cartoon guy on the top of the box with a big old cock. Ooh, a bee with a boner. Fuck bran.

Oh, man, I love this company. It's cool. Now, smartly, Boaz did try to take evidence of his encounter on the examination table was a clock of some kind or so Boaz assumed because it had a single hand and symbols that could have represented numbers. So Boaz figured if he was able to bring back some weird shit, people would believe his story. But unfortunately for us all, the aliens caught him shoplifting and made him give the clock

back before they let him go. I mean, where was he going to hide it? He had a jacket. Pop it in the jacket. Okay. They just watch him do it the whole time. You're like, you're inside a living organism. You understand?

This entire ship is an alien as well. So you're fucked, buddy. Thanks for the cum. And no one's ever thanked me for cum. No, never. Now, they did at least have enough kindness to land and let Boaz leave of his own free will. Yeah.

But yeah. But once the door closed behind him, the ship rose into the air, the saucer section started spinning, the lights all turned red, and the craft flew south at an incredible speed. Okay. When Boaz checked his watch, he found that the entire encounter had lasted for about four and a half hours. Wow. But that wasn't the end of the story for Antonio V.S. Bliss.

As it will be for all our stories today, these sexual encounters come with a price. Uh-oh. Boaz spent the next three months suffering from fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea, aches and pains, headaches, a constant burning sensation in his eyes, and strange bruising all over his body that eventually turned into thick red lesions. And that's why us here at Last Podcast on the left would like to talk to you tonight about abstinence and why just saying no is oftentimes like saying yes to your future. This is a big ad for condoms.

Yeah. But space herpes, you're not going to be good for a while. It's what it sounds like because those lesions turned into protruding nodules and those nodules were said to be harder than the skin around them and they were painful to the touch. And when they were bothered, a yellowish thin watery discharge would seep out. Yeah, it was bad, dude, but he still did not regret the time because he got his mind blown. Wow.

By his space paper. Okay. But perhaps the most interesting of all of Boaz's maladies was that he was suffering from severe radiation poisoning, which was an exceedingly odd thing for a farmer in rural Brazil to have to deal with. Because no matter what you can say about Boaz's experiences, what he said happened, in the medical records, it does say severe radiation poisoning. And unless he is handling uranium like that he found on his farm, which I'm not discounting,

not discounting those, but that's the only way he'd get it. This is going to be a thing that is the it is the fly up the asshole of the entire abduction scenario, which is you want physical proof. People want physical proof because sometimes people come back with things like this. They want physical proof. In the abductions experience, when you become kind of conscious and understanding of where you are, when you pop it in the present every once in a while, people will try to grab an object to try to prove it.

And then when they show, it's a lot of times if they show back up after the abduction scenario, they don't have that shit anymore, but they'll have stuff like my dicks covered in lesions. And I don't know what just happened to me unless I was raped by a chicken last night in the farm. Like, I don't know what the hell is happening here, which is why it's this it's this constant question of maybe we're supposed to be learning something from these experiences, something past, just what we're supposed to learn on just corporeal earth. All right.

What I learned was after a horse is studded, it's no longer special to a farmer. And I think that's really sad. Eventually, Boaz came into contact with Dr. Olavio Defonis of the National School of Medicine in Brazil. Dr. Fonis also happened to. It's Dr. Fones. It's not Dr. Fones. It's not.

Dr. Fones. It's Dr. Fonis. Yeah, it's not going to be Dr. I'm not, I am Dr. Fones. Dr. Telephone. Hello. I'm sorry. I'm answering my thumb and my pinky because I have a brain tumor. Well, Dr. Fonis also happened to be a representative of the Aerial Phenomena Resource Organization,

aka APRO, based in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. I ain't going to that doctor. You ain't going to the doctor? No. Why not? Not after I find out he's part of the UFO nerd club. You are. You've learned nothing over the years.

You trust nothing. You bastard. You bastard. It's just scary stuff. Interesting fact about APRO, they eventually became the Midwest UFO network, which in 1973 was renamed the Mutual UFO Network, a.k.a. Mufon by Alma Mater. I thought you were going to say Nambla. Thank God it went with Mufon.

No, that's very cool. And it's nice Wisconsin's getting a little bit of love on this show. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. At any rate, it was Dr. Fonis who convinced Boas to go public with his story because Boas never sought fame nor fortune for this story. Oh, he didn't seek all of the fortune that comes with being abducted. Well, people pay you money for these stories.

Really? Yeah. They can. Betty and Barty Hill went and made a case for if you tell your story, you could get up because they were the first one to have a movie made about them, books written about them. But at the same time, what you quickly, quickly learn is that there is no money in the abductee business.

No. There is. There absolutely ain't none. It ruins your entire life. But if asked about it, like Boas wouldn't deny it, but he also didn't go around talking about it. Unprompted either. OK.

No. It would take a couple of surfaces for him to say like, yeah, you remember that time I fucked that space bitch? He had to say that. And we're like, what? Is this like pull up an Elstula, my friend? We are going to get into this right now. Well, in fact, Antonio Vs. Boas became a respected lawyer.

He married a human. He had a family and he died a happy old man in Brazil in 1992. Only at peace with his belief that he had participated in a sexual encounter with an alien back in the 50s. All right. Great story. Now, despite the lesions and the yellow watery discharge, which is a big despite, it's a big despite.

His Antonio's experience with the alien sex goddess was for the most part positive because Antonio was young, strong, and single. So he could do pretty much whatever he wanted. For him, it was just kind of a lark. Right. You go, girl. Yeah. And Antonio Vs. Boas in Brazil, however, was not so lucky.

Uh-oh. Peter Corey was born in Lebanon, but had grown up in Australia, where he married a Greek woman named Vivian in 1990 and had two kids with her over the coming decade while he was working in the construction business. And then they moved in there with their wacky neighbor from an island somewhere in the Greek Isles and they discovered what it would be like when two perfect strangers get together in an apartment and just see what kind of adventures come around. Oh, man.

He's up to something fun. Now while Antonio's experience was pretty much a quick scan followed by a plucking fuck, Corey's suspense. I love these descriptions. Yeah, I really do. It's also my favorite chicken restaurant, plucking fuck. It's really great. Corey suspects that preparation for his participation in the secret alien breeding program had begun

when he was just a child. Not sexually when he was a child. But they were starting to groom. There was a little bit of surveillance. Okay. They were raising him. Very woody L&S. No.

They'd never married Peter Corey. He never got married to that alien, so unfortunately, Peter Corey's story is weirdly sadder. Oh, well, Peter's first experience with extraterrestrials came when he was only seven years old. In 1971, just before his family moved to Australia from Lebanon, Peter and his friends were playing on a rooftop when a large egg shaped craft appeared in the sky. Lord Zeprowski, here on my thundery, here it is as I spray Fragoire liquid into your mouth, your children. Experience the fact.

Peter said that he remembered seeing two tall, thin people staring out from the windows. That's how I feel when I kiss a group of people outside a restaurant watching kiss elite. You are too much. But Peter's playmates remembered nothing because right after they all saw this egg-shaped craft, all the kids woke up inside with no memory of how they got in there. Peter remembered what had happened, but none of the other kids did. But that hadn't even been the first time strange people had appeared in Peter's life, although he was not aware of the initial experience.

When Peter was only 22 days old, his mother was nursing him when a man with long blonde hair and fair skin appeared in her window wearing a long-sleeve black turtleneck. Julian Assange. Get out of here. Don't tell my secrets to the Russians. Does sound like Edgar Winter. Yeah. That would be sweet if Edgar Winter showed up.

Peter's mother reported that she didn't remember having any fear during this encounter, but she also didn't remember how the encounter ended. All she remembers is this weird pale white guy showed up, long black turtleneck, and then nothing. But if he went in and just checked Peter Curry's penis as a little boy and says, this one's going to grow up fine, I don't anything that could have happened, I guess. Years later, in Australia, Peter's mother was met with another strange being. This time, she said that she saw just some dude walk through a hall doorway into a room

in her own house in the middle of the day, but when she walked into the room to investigate, no one was there. At the time, they called it the ghost. They thought that they were haunted by ghosts, which I think is really interesting because you see this sort of blurred line between various anomalous behavior where you see this thing the assume they were being like, so if they'd just stop there, we're talking haunted house. But as soon as it gets to Dixuck and Machines, it becomes aliens, which is interesting if ghosts are using Dixuck and Machines.

Well, now why would they need that? Just for fun. For fun because they're bored being ghosts. Zack Baggins would be certainly even more enthusiastic about his various adventures if he knew that he'd go into some old insane asylum and maybe also get his Dixuck. Oh, absolutely. The old Zack Baggins. Handsome, man.

Handsome. Big hands. With this description, it sounds very dreamlike, which is what people say often of the abduction experience. And there's one thing I'd like to mention, which is a researcher's work named Patrick Harper, who did a series of books on a thing called Daimonic Realities, which is the idea of just something that's other than our current reality, the Daimon world, D-A-I-M-O-N is something like what they say with the Hilda folk, the hidden people, and how all of these sort of

stories kind of fit together. And the one way that he described it, there is a very difficult bridge to gap. It's an age-old gap between the spirit and matter, between the invisible and the visible. He says it's a point of discontinuity, which I think is an interesting way of putting it, that there's this kind of gray area, this spot where as the Daimon reality and ours like touch each other, there's this mixed up area where it's stuff like this happens, kind of weirdly surreal, disconnected activity that turns out to be very significant. Alright.

What was in the same house the family supposedly saw their weird ghost thing, that Peter had his first adult experience with extraterrestrials. The year was 1988, and Peter Corey had just moved back in with his parents after six rough years on the streets of Australia, although Peter offered no details whatsoever as to what made those years so rough. He was the bassist for Flock of Seagulls, and it was a rough tour. It's hard in Australia. I love that band though, actually recently listened to their song, their album, that

first one. That run so far away? Yep. That's a fine album. I love them. I love them. They were one of the saddest bands that came to love it because nobody bought tickets and they had to cancel the show.

Really? Yeah. I guess they didn't really have a Flock of Seagulls, did they? I fucking hate you. I hate you. Well, perhaps Marcus, you can tell that story on your new music podcast, No Dogs in Space. Yeah, it's going to be coming here real soon. We just did a four-part series on the Stooges.

That's what we're starting off with, but that'll be coming out very soon. Me and my wife. Well speaking of coming, let's get back to the story. At around 11 p.m. Peter left his father and brother while they were all watching TV together in the living room. Peter went to bed, but when he laid down, he said he felt something grab his ankles. At that moment, his body was seized by a strange numbness, and a tingling sensation worked its way from his toes to the top of his head.

In effect, he was paralyzed and could only move his eyes. But at the time, it was one of those, when you could only move your eyes, it makes the sounds of the, if they go back and forth. It's fun. Yeah, so this is sort of like a sleep paralysis type situation. Very much so. Now at first, Peter thought that this was God's punishment for those six rough Australian years.

Well, what the hell? Okay, hold on. Now I have to go. But now a big quotation marks. What happened? Because there's, I think that, I mean, don't know, but I think something involving a boy in a river, something involving a certain brown bag that was given to an Italian man, like just various things that if you see those, those statements made individually, you're

like, okay. But then at other points, you're like, but you said all of them together. Yeah, right. Those were some six rough Australian years. I guess so. It just seems like rough Australian years are some of the roughest years possible on earth. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. My goodness. But as Peter was just about to beg for God's forgiveness, the aliens showed up. And they were like, we don't care. You were the Bukaki boy from 1982 to 1982. I had to be. They said I was the one. I had a man came with Tony sunglasses on.

He said he red pill on a blue pill. The movie hadn't been made yet. So I didn't know there was a joke. I don't know. It wasn't a thing. Well, the first aliens to appear were three to four feet tall and they all had black wrinkled faces. If you want to know what he said, if you want to know what they look like exactly, watch

the Christopher Walken film communion and just skipped to the abduction scene. Yeah, you say it's it's not Walken's best work. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's more of a Christopher Stalin. Ah, for time. Very good professional podcast. In contrast to Antonio's experience, these aliens did in fact speak with Peter telepathically. They told him, as most aliens do, to relax, you're not going to be harmed.

But when Peter looked to the other side of the bed, he saw there was more than one type of alien present. Oh, well, the initial aliens had been wrinkled black and small. These others were tall and thin and had goldish yellow skin. They were wearing surgical masks and white gowns. And Peter said he instinctively knew one was male and one was female. Now, despite this terrifying spectacle, when the aliens told Peter to calm down, all his fears vanished.

But what did worry Peter was that the female told him that this time would be just like the last time. He's like, Peter didn't remember anything. Whoa. He literally made that noise. The way he said with the small black ones, we call them alien police. He said that they were like little alien police. OK.

They were the size of my father. Sure. That works. It checks out. But the other ones he called the doctors because they had these little kind of like would you have surgical masks, but theirs were very thin to cover their super tiny mouth. Weird. At that point, Peter noticed a long needle like flexible crystal tube in the hands of

the female. Uh-oh. She was soon inserting the instrument into the left side of Peter's head, which caused Peter to black out. This thing he remembered, he was waking up in bed alone. He ran to the living room and found that both his brother and his father, who were notoriously light sleepers, were both deeply passed out in their chairs. And once he shook them awake, both of them said that it felt like someone had just flipped

a switch and they both passed out. Wow. It's very, very strange. And I also think that the surgical mask thing was more of a projected image. I've been reading more about this concept of these guys that all of these aliens are biological slash mechanical creatures created by some possible either higher intelligence or something that's truly does not have any form whatsoever. This is me just edibles.

This is just shit talking, this is just back in my head man sitting and thinking making a rainbow on my own back on my fucking eyelids. Someone's got to make a rainbow. The next day Peter told his future wife Vivian what happened and when she looked at his head she saw that there was in fact a puncture hole, a small lump and a bit of dried blood. Whoa. Now Peter did go to a doctor but the doctor insisted that Peter must have just hit his head on a nail at work.

How many times do I do that? Every day at work I hit my head on a nail. Well he's a construction worker. Even though. I know for a fact that I fucking hit my face on a nail, again I'm just scared of everything. I'm a fucking comedian. Yeah. Upon further inspection of his body Peter also discovered a biopsy scar on his shin.

Pretty much nobody believed Peter's story until he found a psychiatrist named John Mack from of all places, Harvard. I've been here in a backpack. Really? John Mack was a legit figure in the academic world. He'd already won a Pulitzer Prize for a biography of Lawrence of Arabia that he'd written back in 1977. This guy was very, very late.

He was a tenured professor at Harvard. I mean and that means that's a lot. Yeah. You know that means he's very smart. Do you have an idea? Because you know who else is a tenured professor? Alan Dershowitz. And he is a genius.

You know how many Epstein parties you have to pretend to forget to be a professor at Harvard? That's a really good point. You just have to constantly be like, I'm here for the little triangle sandwiches. Little triangle sandwiches. Yeah, this is incredible. This woman's massaging my leg. Oh, little triangle sandwiches.

Wow. But in the 90s, Mack had moved on to seriously studying the phenomenon of alien abduction. And there are two books that he wrote, which is the Johnny Mack's abduction and also Johnny Mack's passport to the cosmos. What are you calling him? Johnny Mack. Oh, John E. Mack. Yeah.

I think you're calling him a Johnny Mack. I'm a buddy, Johnny Mack. You know him? He always brings a pool cue everywhere. Oh, why? I wonder. So he also wrote a book called Passport to the Cosmos, which are necessary books for anybody that's into ufology.

Question, did this ruin his academic career? We'll get to that here in a second. OK. By the end of his study, Mack concluded that while he would never say that aliens were physically taking people, there was a compelling, powerful phenomenon that he could not account for in any other way. He said, I know these people aren't just making it up, but I also can't prove the existence of aliens.

Something is going on here. We just don't know what it is. His take was that these encounters were something akin to the sorts of vision quests that ancient peoples have been taken for millennia. And it was only recently that we started calling these people crazy. If you read Passport to the Cosmos, it does a really good breakdown of the ontological distress, which is this concept of people. This event has happened to them and it's become a benchmark in their life for some reason.

And it has completely affronts everything that they know to be real because they are faced with a thing that consciously, quite a bit, a lot of abductees say the same thing, being like, I know that this is not real. I do not believe in aliens. All of this is absolutely incredible, but it is now sucking my dick. That this being with great tits is on my penis right now, and it should be now. And so it's a gigantic, it's a fantastic work, and it really explains how difficult it is to pin down the world of the unreal.

Okay, interesting. But Havard turned up their noses at even the possibility that someone would seriously study alien abduction, and they actually launched an investigation into Max's studies, the first time in Harvard's history that such a thing had ever been done to a tenured professor. They said he was being quote unquote, professionally irresponsible by not immediately dismissing these people and telling them, you're crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy.

You know, it's very bizarre, Harvard set of standards. They love the Kennedys, even though they've killed a lot of people. They love pedophiles because they give them a bunch of money, but when it comes to aliens, that's where Harvard draws the line. Fortunately, though, the academic community came to Max's defense. Oh, really? No punitive action was taken, and Max wrote two well-respected books on the subject. But it was with John Mack that a small part of Peter Corey's memories concerning his

alien experience was unlocked. Just a very tiny piece, but an important piece. During the insertion of the needle, Peter remembered finding himself on a table with one entity standing above him speaking with the sound that kind of sounded like the chirping of a flock of birds. That was all that he remembered from that one. Following that, Peter spotted a billboard for Whitley Shrieber's alien abduction book, Communion, and upon buying and reading it, Peter said that the similarities between his

experience and Shrieber's were astounding. Well, he wasn't alone in this fact. A lot of people in a reading community, which is why it became such a hit, because it ended up being a lot of people reading a thing that they recognized as a weird thing that happened to them, and they also did not think it was real. Right. And when Peter Corey's wife divorced him real hard after this. She did?

Because you have all of you ruins lives? I know. But he said like she was reading the book before him and she's like, this happened to you. Yeah. This is you. Really? Life from your grave.

Life from your grave. Now nothing happened to Peter concerning aliens for another four years, 1988 to 1992 all clear. But in 1992, Peter was attacked by three men with shovels on a job site. Oh, what? Honestly, what did he do? No, he didn't. He was mugged pretty much. Was he?

Yeah. Does that happen on job sites often, where you just get attacked by three guys with shovels? Well, if you're walking on the street, like let's say, I mean, he could have exposed a drug cartel and he could in fact be Sylvester Stallone from Cobra. Okay. I'm not certain. We don't know.

Or he was in a construction site in three youths with enough energy to want to expend, want to attack a man on the street like happened to me several times. Yeah. That is because you look like a victim. I did nothing. No, he looks like a victim. He was. Why are you?

Why are you all of a sudden? He was wearing a dashiki. I'm not victim blaming. He was wearing a dashiki. I said that he was attacked by three men with a shovel and your course question is what did he do? Wow. What did he do?

Wow. That doesn't just happen. The only thing I've ever been guilty of is being incredibly castable. And notice what I'm writing, that guy's got the X factor. Let's beat it out of here. Do you are cast into being mugged? Well, as a result of this attack, Peter suffered severe head trauma. It wasn't aliens that attacked him at all, but the head trauma is important to the story.

Okay. See, ever since the experience with the needle four years earlier, the site of the insertion on Peter's head had turned into a lump that increased and decreased in size. Sometimes got as big as a fucking marble. Jesus. And after Peter had a CAT scan following his injury, he was futzing with the lump when he felt a very thin wire protruding from his skin that was new. Peter scratched and he pushed the area, kind of like treated it like a bit of a zit until

finally something popped out and hit the coffee table. He's making candy. Yeah. I guess so. Now Peter thought that he got a glimpse of this object. He said he thought it looked like the tip of a match, but neither he nor his wife could find the object after it expelled itself from Peter's head. Did he say how that felt?

It must have felt really good to get it out. He just said it popped out. Yeah. It sounds like, unfortunately, it sounds like a pimple. It sounds like it could be. That's a four year pimple. Amen. I've had four year boils on the inside of my fucking asshole.

Maybe it was. No, he is not. That is not possible. Maybe it was a spider. Could also be. Well, a spider living inside his head. Yeah. We've seen videos like that.

One kind of spider serial killer comes back again and again to the scene of crime to bite it again and again, each time wrapping little other girl spider paintings around its mouth and jerking off for the first time it sees the act of in the, in the blair of its crimes. Because Peter was dealing with a severe head injury, he was on a lot of medication and he would vomit up to 10 times a day. That's what happens when you have head injuries. Some people react with extreme vomiting. That sucks.

Yeah. That's extreme with three X's. Whoa, extreme vomiting. By the way, this product is brought, this show is brought to you by fuckouts. But on July 23rd, Peter had the strangest experience of his life that might have been explained away as a medically induced hallucination had it not been for the evidence left behind. Okay. At 7 30 a.m. that morning, Peter woke up with a feeling that something light had stepped

onto his bed. And when he opened his eyes, he saw that that something was two naked women. His first thing is like, what kind of hotel is this? Crazy. He said he felt no fear, but the feeling he described is confusing to say the least. He said he felt as if he was looking through the back of his head like he was sitting behind himself and eventually his consciousness came forward and joined his physical body. Dude, I had this same shit where I ate a bunch of edibles and I thought it'd be fun.

I was watching Hellraiser and I thought it'd be fun to eat some super hot food while I was watching Hellraiser. You got to do a whole thing like spicy and hell. Yeah. All this kind of shit. So I got the number one rated that that the top level on hot ones. I got their super hot like not that was before was the last dab. I think it was Dave's insanity was whatever was the last hot one, right?

Because at the time, I thought maybe I'll train to get on hot ones. Yeah. All that went away. We're not facing it famous enough. He ruined it all. He's got very, very big. Yeah. I'm happy for him.

Scarlett Johansson is on that show. Yeah. We're not getting on there. Yeah. But I ate some and then it was like my whole body went, oh, and I did shoot behind me. I shot behind me and I was watching me struggle with myself, trying to watch Hellraiser shoot and sweat everywhere. And I was like, I am not ready for hot ones.

No, definitely not. That's heavy. That must have very high scoville levels. Mm-hmm. You remembered. Yeah. Very good. Well, once Peter got his bearings, he saw that one woman was blonde and white while

the other appeared to be Asian. Okay. Oh, kind of Asian. We're doing a lot of movie quotes today. It's a lot of movie quotes. The white woman seemed to be in her mid-30s with Farrah Fawcett-like hair, but Farrah Fawcett hair done to the extreme. Okay.

Very, very feathered. And he said that she had high cheeks, just like what Antonio had described. Peter also said that her face was long and stretched and that her eyes were bright blue and two to three times bigger than what was normal, although her mouth and lips were reasonably proportionate. The Asian woman looked strange as well. Her cheeks were puffy and swollen and her eyes were so dark as to be almost black. The way he described it is that he said that it looked like she got punched two times by

Mike Tyson. Geez. Hair-wise, she had a page boy haircut, but the hair didn't move at all. He said it looked like she was wearing like a strange helmet, kind of like Legos. Okay. You remember those commercials, the Duracell commercials with those weird plastic people? Yeah. Like that, or like Tim Burton's girlfriend.

Yeah. Yeah. Once the liaison began, however, Peter got the impression that the white woman had done this before because the Asian woman was watching her to see what to do and it was the blonde who made the first move. I've seen this series before. Indeed. The blonde reached out and grabbed Peter's head with both of her hands and tried forcing

him towards her left breast, but Peter was a married man. Uh-oh. So he resisted. My wife knows. My wife will let me do it. She tried again and again gently, but with a great amount of strength and when she finally used all of her strength and Peter couldn't stay away from the breast any longer, he decided to use a little brute force of his own and he bit off a chunk of her nipple and accidentally

swallowed it. Oh my goodness. He went straight into Chihuahua attack mode. You have to. If you are married to a person who is abducted and they have sex with an alien, they get away with that. That's a get out of free jail card. You can cheat with an extraterrestrial.

They're not human. The same way you can have sex theoretically with a robot. You're not married, man. Yeah. You're not married. If I had sex with a robot, my wife would be highly displeased. My wife would be very upset. If you were abducted.

Natalie sometimes will get mad at me about a dream that she had. If you were abducted by an alien, though, I just feel like they can't really. What are you going to do? I guess I guess when you are married, you are locked in and then what are you going to do? But it seems like, um, I don't know. If I was raped by an alien, my wife would be very upset about it, but upset for me. If I were to willingly have sex with an alien, my wife would also be very upset, but she

would be upset with me. I don't think that that's appropriate. I think that he's completely correct. I think that is like, it's beyond our world. Our ladies are cool, but they know for a fact that the problem is that we're curious little cats. Like you said at the point, or we're like, yeah, oh, how hard did you fight? How hard did you find having sex with an alien?

Nipple off. Nipple off. But that's the other thing too, is that these aliens, they spread disease as well. Everyone comes back with some weird shit. I don't want to, I don't want to spread that to my wife, my wife, lucky ladies, lucky ladies. The weird thing about it though, is that the alien did not react in pain when he bit off her nipple and there wasn't even any blood. Peter said it was as if he had taken a bite out of a plastic dummy and the alien really

didn't even look angry or even that surprised rather. She was just disappointed while you got to mess up my titty. Oh. In the tour content ahead. Pretty. I think so. I think so. Pretty much the only reaction the aliens had to Peter biting the nipple off was a look

that said, this ain't how this is supposed to go. Oh no. But as Peter was trying to swallow the alien nipple. Why not just spit it out? He couldn't. It was stuck. Oh my goodness. Either he's going to spit it out or I'm going to swallow it.

It's way too far down to spit it back out again, so you've got to try to swallow it. But the chunk got caught in his throat, so he started coughing, he had a cough and fit and it was in that moment that the women vanished. Yeah, because now you ruin the whole mood. Ruin the mood entirely. Peter got up and tried drinking a glass of water to wash down the chunk, but nothing seemed to work. He only stopped when he suddenly had the violent urge to urinate.

That's when he made another disturbing discovery. When he pulled out his penis, he saw that the whole thing was cut up and burning. Whoa. And when he slid back his foreskin, he found that a hair had been tightly wrapped around the shaft, so tight that it was cutting into the skin. Oh God, that's so fucking bad sounding. I will say, when I first read this, because this came from a book, I believe it was called Hair of the Alien.

We'll get to Hair of the Alien here in a bit. But this, I remember first reading this account and I was like, how did hair get on dick? Yeah. And then I made love to my wife, who I love very much. You want to go into detail about this? Once we assembled the furniture again and moved everything back into place, I discovered that I was just like, I had a hair wrapped around my penis. But was it tightly wrapped?

Was it wrapped wrapped or was it just on it? It was enough I had to unfurl it like it was a yo-yo. Interesting. Do you think that anyone wants you to tell the story or even hear the story? I'm just saying, this is one of those funny little things, like a reader's digest, kind of funny thing, like a relatable thing, like a Dave Berry thing. Yeah, okay. Well, what Peter did, when he freed his penis from the hair, he smartly put the hair into

a bag for later analysis. Oh. Yes, and he sealed it up. About three weeks later, he finally brought it up to his wife, but surprisingly, she was supportive. See? She was looking for an out. She was not looking for an out, she was supportive of what he was saying.

She was supportive of the hair wrapped around his penis. Well, her opinion was that it wasn't something Peter could control, and it wasn't like Peter was inviting the women over, so really, nothing to do here. That's exactly what I was saying. But he resisted, Ben. He resisted. If he was in Antonio Villas Boazes, and if he was like, I'm sorry, you know, they covered me in this goo, no, I could not, I couldn't resist.

Then we did the upside down twist, then we did the headless horseman. That's the thing, when you're shifting into positions in different moves and trying to see it in a mirror and all that kind of shit, that's a different style of alien sexual encounter than this. That he was raped by this alien woman, that he didn't understand what was happening to him. But even though his wife was on his side, the UFO community in Australia was not. One group called UFO Research New South Wales straight up told Peter that his story was

quote, too sexy to be believed. Too sexy. Too sexy. Oh my goodness. Because they were jealous. Yeah. Because all they had ever seen was orbs. They saw maybe an orb, it was like in Poltergeist when the investigators said we watched a roller

skate move eight feet, like that kind of bullshit, where they've been seeing nothing but boring stuff and they're like so mad being like, man, you got an alien threesome last night? Fuck you, buddy. Yeah, too sexy to be believed. So because Peter got no support from the UFO establishment in Australia, he and a few others left the UFO in SW and formed the UFO Experience Support Organization, the UFO ESA, which Peter still kind of sort of runs on Facebook to this day. Okay.

And if you look up this, the Facebook account for UFO ESA, the UFO ESA, you will see it is there's a lot of saucy pictures on there are these aliens. There's definitely some saucy artist representation of what the white woman looked like and what the Asian woman looked like. So he's still talking about it. Every once in a while, he'll bring it out. Well, he just did a big tour. I know it wasn't recently.

I want to say it was, and I say recently, which is sad, it was like 10 years ago, but I watched a three hour talk that he did where he's been, this is still, he's refining it over time. He was a very big part of the UFO community for many years. Okay. But back in the nineties, Peter's case caught the eye of a UFO researcher named Bill Chalker, who cataloged his findings concerning Peter Corey along with all sorts of other sexual alien encounters in a book called Hair of the Alien.

See this case had something that most abduction cases don't. Peter Curry claimed to have evidence. I got the haze. You got the haze. Right. So Peter and Chalker sent the hair that Peter had found wrapped around his penis into a lab for analysis. Now we'll admit, DNA science is not necessarily our area of expertise.

Fuck you, bro. Yeah, man. I know all about it. Definitely, definitely know about it. Dropping nug asses. Yep. DNA, buddy. In RNA, what does the R stand for?

Richard. Richard. Yeah, Kissel. No, we got it. Well, to put it as basically as possible, because Chalker goes pretty in-depth concerning the technical details as to why the hair Peter found wrapped around his penis was so strange, to put it as basically as possible, the findings discovered that while it was human hair, it showed substitutions in the DNA that appear only in extremely rare human lineages.

Hmm. Furthermore, the hair showed two different kinds of mitochondrial DNA. This alone would be enough to raise a few eyebrows. But the hair also showed deleted genes for the CCR5 protein, then you know what that means. Well, yeah. You got to delete it every now and again. Yeah.

Because you don't want to make room. You got to CCR5 because John Fogarty already got the right to CCR1 through 4. Of course. Yes. You got to delete to make room for the new stuff coming in. Down by the bayou. Yeah. That meant that the owner of that hair would conceivably be immune to smallpox, AIDS,

and HIV. Oh, my. Give me that hair. It's like Magic Johnson. Yeah. He still has HIV. No, I don't think he does. No, he does.

He just did a tweet celebrating the 25th anniversary of his diagnosis and his announcement. But I believe that he no longer has it when they test him. Well, because at the time, HIV was just a small man that was harassing you. It was just his initials, it was Harold, Arnold, Virginia. It was just a guy that walked around and just go, they ain't no good. Yeah, you suck tonight, Magic, you suck. And what he did is he strangled them to death. Yes.

That's a good analogy for what he did. Life from your grave. Life from your grave. Concerning these two stories, Antonio had a relatively nice, if strange, experience while Peter Curry's encounter with the sexy aliens was a little more terrifying and completely unwanted. I mean, it was, I would say a consensual encounter versus a straight up rape. And it also ended his marriage.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I know his involvement in ufology ended his marriage. But the man who got it worse than both of them was Credo Mutua. Credo was abducted in South Africa in 1958, right after Antonio V.S. Boas went through his own abduction scenario over in Brazil. If you are listening to this and have the capability to do this and want to do this because you are a demented, twisted human being like I am, Credo Mutua, we're only just covering that we're scratching the surface of Credo Mutua.

He's actually a very interesting persona with the new ufology. And David Ike did a six hour interview series with him that I watched and Credo is highly, highly interesting person who says a lot of crazy shit about reptilians and it is very, very interesting. And you know, it's also David Ike so you get to hear him stuff with him being like, oh, Credo, it is absolutely, really wonderful to be here with you in Africa and Credo is just barely kind of acknowledging him. Well, Credo is an honest to God shaman and he was out in the mountains of Inyungani looking

for an herb to heal one of his initiates when he felt the temperature drop. Before he knew it, he was on a table in a spaceship with no pants on. Oh, but that's the worst. Yeah, it just sounds like Kissel's Freshman. You're a Marquette University. Well, if I went to Marquette University, that was for the rich people, I went to Milwaukee University. Oh, the shit one?

Yeah. I'm a panther rarer. What is wrong with you? Panther rarer. And also Credo Mubwa told me that Credo Mubwa apparently ate a human hand in order to be get initiated into the secret area of the shamans. He also had his penis cut. Wow.

Really? I know about the penis cutting because I've seen that on television before, but how did they get the human hand? Look it up. Oh my. Well, Credo said that he felt completely paralyzed and the room was like a tunnel filled with metal, then suddenly dull gray creatures appeared and began to move towards them. Oh, it sounds like the L train after midnight.

A little New York humor. That's a little New York humor. Oh, God. Now, unlike the other two men in today's episode who saw aliens that were passably human, Credo's aliens were out of a nightmare. Uh-oh. He said the creatures were just put together all wrong, with limbs too long for their body thin necks and heads like watermelons.

Their eyes were huge and they were missing noses and lips. Smell wise, Mubwa said that the creature's odor was a throat tightening chemical smell like rotten eggs. Did they just like lose a shipment of human parts or something? Why weren't they put together all right? They had long, thin fingers with more joints than a human would have and the thumb was in the wrong place and at the end of each finger was a black claw. In other words, Mubwa was having an experience with the classic terrifying species we know

as the Grain. Yeah. It's the Grain. Yeah. I don't like them. Yeah, they were put together all wrong because that's how Grazer put together. Your brain doesn't know how to process it because that's not how a humanoid should look like.

That's horrible. That's what people say to me every time I'm at the airport. Now, naturally, Credo was terrified, but instead of calming him down with telepathy, these aliens decided to use pain. There are two stripes of Graze, right? There is the small Graze and the tall Graze. Small Graze, a lot of times are the one you see quite often more modern abduction scenarios. They move kind of in symmetrical ways.

They're like little robots. Tall Graze are also apparently biomechanical, but they do believe that the Graze, like the reptilians, feed on human fear. A lot of people who said that they have seen a reptilian in an abduction scenario, they said that the way that they describe it is that a fear comes upon you that's so intense it feels like your soul is ripping apart. What if you don't get scared? Do you win?

You're the one. You're Neo. Then you're Neo. You can marry one of their daughters. Oh! Well, Credo said he felt as if a sword had been driven into his left thigh, and the pain was so great that he called out for his mother. This was not some sort of like neurological device that activates the pain center of the

brain. They were driving an actual physical weapon into Credo's leg, and when they pulled it out, blood just started going everywhere. Oh my goodness. So he's just like, mother, mother, and then Karen Pence shows up thinking it's her husband Mike. Then an alien walked over in a jerky sideways motion as if he was drunk and introduced the first instrument of analysis.

I'm gonna tell you something, I maybe had a few, but I have been under a lot of stress. It's time to begin your analysis. Bleeding what? Well, the instrument of analysis appeared to be a silver ballpoint pen with a cable at one end, and the alien shoved it into Credo's right nostril, causing even more pain and splattering blood all over himself and the table. At the same time, another alien drove a small black tube into what Credo called his organ of manhood.

His penis. Not his butthole. His organ of manhood is not his butthole, okay. Credo said that there was no pain, just a violent irritation, as if he was making rough love to someone or something. He's sounding against his will, that's not good. And, when the alien violently pulled the tube out of Credo's penis, Credo unwillingly urinated straight onto the chest of the alien, and Credo said the creature could not have been

more surprised if Credo had shot him with a gun. This one sprung a leak. It was a creature like jerked away and almost fell down, didn't expect it at all. I think everybody was surprised in this scenario, when they pulled out the ripcord, they just started pissing everywhere. That's a wacky Wednesday. That's a good defense by Credo, and starting to pee is really a great defense for a whole series of things.

Getting mugged, start to pee. Like if you're getting arrested, you just start to pee. People leave you alone when you're peeing. No, only if you're outwardly pissing at people, and then if not, you're just pissing your pants. Yeah, because if you're pissing your pants while you're getting mugged, and they're going to point it out, it's going to make it a lot worse. Look, oh, look, he's pissing his pants, look at him, little girl pissing his pants. Unless you start doing the thing, going like, oh, what am I going to do now to everyone?

What am I going to do now? Don't start punching yourself in the face. It's a great deleted scene from Joker. When Credo peed on the creature, it just kind of staggered off like, as he said, a drunken insect. I love this though, because now he's just got to make sure he has to pee, and he can just go clean house. After that, the other creatures left the room as well, leaving Credo naked and covered in

his own blood and urine. The only creature to stay behind was the one who seemed to be in charge. Credo said the other seemed to all be afraid of this alien in particular, and Credo instinctively knew that this one was female. But suddenly, two completely different creatures arrived. The first was a gigantic being made entirely of metal, obviously some sort of robot. Huh. A robot, huh?

It was a robot of some kind. Marcus uses robot, Marcus uses UFO, Marcus uses cuckoo clock, all things that will drive me to the edge of pure rage. Cuckoo clock just sounds like it's time to watch your wife have sex with someone in front of you. The other alien had an appearance that will sound somewhat familiar to our listeners. It was a blonde white woman with blue, slanting eyes, hair like nylon, high cheekbones, and a small pointed chin.

But rather the being relatively proportionate like what Boaz and Corey reported, this one was monstrous. You say monstrous, but I say she should celebrate herself. It's an alien. Well, the breasts were thin and pointed and way too high, like almost on her neck. So far so good. And the body was thick and powerful like a tiny gorilla. Do you, be you girl, be yourself, except that its arms and legs were way too short for

its body. It's kind of cute sounding. Furthermore, the vagina seemed to be screwed to the front of the pubis, at least you see where it is. And if the aliens believe that the location of the penis and the vagina were interchangeable, not between the legs as it normally is, it is on the front of her body. If only they were interchangeable. If only they were.

I wouldn't know, man. Think about that. I've heard the clitoris is really nice. To have? Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was pretty nice. Well, sitting atop that vagina was again a bright red tuft of pubic hair.

Or Credo knew what was happening though. This misshapen approximation of a woman was raping him. And Credo said that this experience was the worst part of it all. Oh, he didn't even have a good one. No, he had a take. He had a horrible, horrible one. I wonder if it's about certain, there's certain ways of life because he talks about the way of the shaman and the way of the, when he talked a little bit about the Zulu warrior,

because he is Zulu. And he was talking about the types of rituals they go through all sound incredibly painful. Yeah. There's a lot of scarification, a lot of straight up beat ins, long hours of beating yourself with rods and like, you know, knotted ropes and all this kind of shit. So I wonder if there's something about just how he looks upon magical experiences as being tied with extreme pain that kind of fed this sort of, this very distressing reality bending thing that happened to him.

No, if the abduction scenario is a collaborative experience between the interdimensional beings and the humans that they come into contact with. And the two things, as you said earlier, the two things sort of mixed together, that might be why Credo had a more violent experience while Boas, the Brazilian, had a much more sensual one. Credo's got a hell of a game this Sunday against the, they're actually playing the San Francisco 49ers. You can't do it.

You are outnumbered. They are. So I, it's a, it's a, it's a must win to see if cream day is actually good, you know, as good as the record is. But no. Well, once it was all over, Credo was pushed to another room where he saw aliens that he said looked like disgusting little frogs suspended in cylinders filled with the grayish pink liquid.

And I do listen though, and I actually agree with you guys. I think that he has a negative attitude. Why are they disgusting little frogs? It's because you, you just got arred by a stump monster and this guy fucking, he put a thing up your cock and he ripped it out like a lawnmower and you became a piss machine. They stabbed him in his leg. He's going to have a negative impact. It's going to be an easy, he's going to be a grumpy Gus.

I'm just saying the frogs may have been cute. Well, maybe if they waved and said, if you give us a quarter, we'll sing you a song. That'd be different. They didn't do that. They didn't try to. Okay. Okay. But in the last room Credo saw, he was met with the sight of another man, a white man

who was also covered in his own blood and urine. Tuesdays. Tuesdays. Coffee. I'm about to go. We just made a new pot in the break room. I'm going through round two. You kind of get used to the cock thing after a while.

You could see my holes gotten wider, but all Credo could do was lock eyes with the man for just a second and move on because the other guy looked just as terrified as Credo was. Geez. And before Credo knew it, he was back in the bush, pantsless with an extremely swollen penis. When he finally made contact with another human, he found that he'd been gone for three days. Yikes.

How much time did it feel like to him? Couple hours. Okay. And it felt like it was longer than what Antonio Villas Boas was going through because Antonio Villas Boas was living a scene from Bros. and he's here getting his fucking penis ripped open. Geez. Now like Antonio, Credo had side effects following his abduction, but his were far more horrific.

He developed a rash that was similar to smallpox. His tongue swelled to the point where he could barely breathe. His skin began peeling off and he bled from every orifice. Oh. Now Credo actually believes that all this happened for a reason. He said that one year before his abduction, his friend had given him a lump of gray flesh and the friend claimed that it was quote, flesh from the sky god. Shit.

So Credo, being a shaman, ate it without question and enjoyed a fantastic trip that lasted two entire months. Jesus Christ, my junior year at Florida. That's a long trip. That's a little too long for me. He said it was fantastic. He said everything was brighter, music sounded better, because he's also an artist as well. He said that every color, when he was painting with that color, he said it was like it was

the only color that existed in the world. Okay. Very focused. That's cool. Very focused. Yeah. But Credo believes that the abduction was his punishment for consuming forbidden flesh. Following his abduction though, Credo, who's still alive at 98 years old, he's devoted

his life to helping others who've also had experiences with the beings he calls the Incubusana. It's definitely a way to pronounce it, and we don't know how to pronounce it, but, you know. Incubusana, maybe. Sure. It could be. It roughly translates to the trappers. Not like they're bosses, the trapper keepers.

The trapper keepers. Credo even makes sculptures of different kinds of alien creatures to help people process their trauma, essentially giving abductees a lineup to point out which alien was responsible for their abduction. You really should listen to his breakdown of the Chitauri and their view, his view of the reptilian creator species that's come. It's very, very interesting. Most of the time, people choose the figure that represents the creature known in certain

parts of Africa as the Mentendani, although we in the West know them by a much simpler name. We call them the Greys. Yes. That's all. That's awesome. I love that. So that's just three different scenarios, but there are some similarities.

There's similarities in all three. What is the purpose, so we got the Sky Baby, so that guy's got to get up there. What was the purpose of Credos? Because they didn't milk him. It seems like they just tortured his. They had sex with him and got, they did get his. They did. That's the idea.

We don't know. So a lot of times in abduction scenarios, as they go, you've seen people who have been tagged by aliens and then have been experiencing this shit throughout their whole lives. A lot of times it doesn't come out until much later on when these kind of memories come to like float to the top at some point. And then they'll at some in various scenario, a lot of times abductees that have had some form of either fertility experiment they believe done on them or something like this will show back up in one of these abductions and see their kids being raised by either alien mothers

or human mothers because that's one thing that they say very distinctly about the graze is that oftentimes, especially women who believe that they've been made pregnant by an alien and then had it removed, they'll see a baby in an abduction scenario and the graze will essentially be like, nurse it, try to give it emotion because the graze can't understand like comfort or emotional connection. It's actually a great premise for a sitcom or a lighthearted comedic romp. You got to knock on the door and you look down and you're just like, hi daddy. And it's like, oh my God, my child, I didn't know you existed.

And then, but it's an alien child and then you have to raise it. It's like, what's that movie? A Mac? Mac and me. Mac and me. Mac and me? Yeah. I like Mac and me.

Also kind of like Small Wonder with a little girl that was the robot. Whoa. That movie traumatized me. It was a TV show. I have not thought about that, whatever it was. I have not thought about that in a long time. I think that's when my hatred of robots started. You're scared of that little girl?

Yeah. No, honestly, I remember that. I don't. Yeah. I never watched it. So movie TV show. Do you think that maybe you were like abused or molested while watching that show and you're just kind of like hiding all that?

No, definitely not. You can say it. Yeah. I was not. I would just eat. I would just sit on my tummy and I would watch and I would eat fucking fuckos and I would watch. We don't have fuckos unless you just fucked.

No, I did not. I did not. Wow. So awesome. Well, there you go. That liaison tales. And obviously, you know, we'll do stuff like this again in the future. I love the idea of themed abductions because you'll see as you go, there's sort of like

a hero's journey when it comes to abductions. There's like a set path or it happens kind of in a certain way. And again, again, it recognized quote unquote recognized abduction scenarios. So this is the kind of stuff. But there's so many flavors. Yeah. So many flavors. All right.

So we've had some exciting news come out this week regarding our partnership with Spotify. And because of this exciting news, there's been a little bit of confusion and a couple of questions. So we just want to take a little time and answer the questions and alleviate the confusion. Try to, guys. Let's start from the very beginning. So we had an ad deal with a company that got purchased by AT&T and when that happened, we lost our ad deal.

Now as you guys know, we have been patron. We didn't lose our ad deal. They said we can do a handshake deal with no actual contract and we're like, you trusty big corporation. Yes. Of course we believe you have a soul. But so for a while, you know, we started the patron about four years ago. And when you guys gave us that money, it was incredible.

It changed our lives. It got Marcus and Kissel. They got to quit their fucking various day jobs and we got to do this full time. As time has went on, we that patron grew and now that is the patron that ends up funding the entire operations here at the last podcast network. That money pays for it helps pay for employees and it helps pay for the various spaces we use for our merch and then also remember 30 to 35 percent of that is just taxes. It's just gone.

Right. So our ad deals were the way our performers made money and the way we could add more and more to the network. Right. So we lost his ad deal. We had no clue where the hell to go. So we had a meeting with Spotify that was fairly innocuous. It was just like a high hello and they basically said like, what do you do?

And I explained like last podcast network and all kinds of shit and how we want to expand. You want to do more content and we don't do all the stuff. We talk about Brazilian farmers getting milked. Great. Great. Great. Great. Well, then it turned out half of the staff at Spotify already listened to the show.

So they were well aware of our content and what the hell that we did. So they they offered us a deal and then we attempted to make them say no several times by saying we are these are the things that we have to have before we do any sort of bullshit which is number one. Shows gotta be free. Right. So the show and so that is one of the questions that we've had was do you have to have Spotify premium to download the show and get it for or to download the show.

But we want to clarify this. The show is still 100% free. You can still download it. You don't need Spotify premium. We made sure of that because we firmly believe that our show should be free. Yeah. Because I don't want any. I don't want.

If you don't have the money to listen to us. I don't want you to have to listen. I don't want you to have to pay to listen to us. So that one thing to creative control. We have to have entire credit control. They said you guys do the show that we are bringing on. You guys all have been created. You created something out of nothing or you and all of the shows at LPN.

So fucking just do what the hell it is that you got to do that. That's why we're having you. Yeah. So every show is free and every show host. Yes. I know Holden McNeely. I know it might not be a great thing but he still has 100% creative control. Yes.

And we have 100% creative control. We're going to keep doing the exact same show that we've always done. And that is a 100% deal breaker with anybody that we do a deal with. Oh and also. And it's a spotify ever tells us hey you can't say this. Hey you can't do this. You can't do this. We will tell Spotify to fuck off.

We will tell them to go away. We're not working with you anymore. We're willing to lose the deal to not be assholes to ourselves because we're not here to have a boss. We are our own weird bosses. And so Henry you're fired. Henry rehired. Continue to speak.

You're rehired. Yeah I did it myself. You didn't go through HR. That's me. But then the other one is we also can retain all of our content. So we own every single thing that LPN creates. So it's all ours. What now Spotify is going to do within this deal is that they are going to allow us to

expand at more employees full time with health insurance. We're going to have an entire research team. We're going to have a booker for every one of our shows. So a lot of what's happening and the stuff that Spotify is giving us money and resources so going into the business to help grow us out further. Yes. So it really is LPN 2.0. And this is just one of the changes that we've I mean when we went from Cave Comedy Radio

to the last podcast network when we went from our deal with you know our previous ad company Rooster Teeth. This is just another step in our in our history. Yeah I mean we started this thing 10 years ago with I mean it was just in a basement in Bushwick. It was in the changing room of the kitchen staff of a Mexican restaurant. Technically this started off in the moldy basement where it was just yes the moldy base in your old house at your old house at two twenty eight and a half ballroom avenue changing

the ballroom street. Changing room was an improvement. That was the way I was the step up. The first place that we recorded was a moldy basement where I had hung comforters that were working as the soundproofing in that fucking room. C-U-M comforters Marcus made sure that the sound quality was very good except for when they crinkle. But we've gone through a ton of changes over the years and now like last podcast network

we have seven employees we have a few a few of those employees are full time and some of those employees like if they choose to have it have health insurance like we pay our employees a living wage. We want to continue to pay our employees a living wage. We want to expand this whole thing. We want to do new shows. We want to make this network what we've always known it could be. And through this partnership we can do that without having to bring on a fucking investor

some sort of asshole that's going to come in and tell us what to say what to do what he thinks would be a good show. Bringing his buddies in saying hey my buddy Jim's got a great idea for a podcast put him on the network. He's already doing that at the sports bar bringing into the guys that he's going to be like this guy is real smart he knows every single bad company so. But through this partnership we get the funding to make this network what we've always wanted it to be while also retaining complete and total creative control and the only thing

that changes is an app. You just have to download a free app to get a free show and also nothing changes with our Patreon to stress that all of that content maintains the same. Well that's exactly the same but I also want you to know that the big thing is I'll say this in therapy I work with this idea of having being OK with the idea of asking for help and knowing that we need help sometimes and that's kind of where we're at with this with working with Spotify and speaking with them we just had a call with them yesterday. It was really really hopeful the Internet is going to change wildly over the next couple

years. What we want to do is make sure that LPN is going to last for as long as humanly possible. That's right and that's why we take this shit really fucking seriously. We work really really hard on the show. Yeah we're a bunch of assholes but we are unfortunately serious morons about this work. It requires us it's going to require more than just what we had before to expand and move forward. So I'm just asking y'all if you've been with us for this long trust us through this

transition because it's going to be very difficult for us to change. I'm going to lose us this deal. I know this for a fact something out of my mouth. Oh I believe that. We're going to destroy this entire arrangement and don't worry it could be moot in six months. So yes it is it really is a great experience for us and we're speaking now as CEOs because we are CEOs of this company. It is a company it is something that we're trying to grow and that's why we made sure

to get every single show on the network over to the Spotify deal to protect them give them the best opportunity for growth and I think that this is going to create a better it's going to create better content for you the listener and we always have you the listener in our minds whenever we make any decision we never ever lose sight of how grassroots we are and how DIY we are how we started with zero listeners. I remember the first time we got a hundred listeners. I remember we got when we got to a thousand we were like I think we got it good. We got a thousand listeners at a full on panic attack.

Yeah we're like oh my god whatever you know like so we know like nothing has changed for us we understand like we come from working class backgrounds and so just to alleviate any of the concerns we do this for you with you in mind and we understand it's all fucking shocking and it's crazy. I just feel like the whole thing is going to change so rapidly you know if your head is going to spin especially in the next two years we're going to hopefully see a bunch of changes in the world but there's a lot of stuff that's going to be really fucking chaotic so we're trying to do is make sure we got we got it fucking taken care of.

Absolutely because the content that creates your entertainment is the most important concern for us and the other thing too is that you know we would write I mean like Henry said things are going to change very rapidly and we would much rather go with the company we actually like yeah like Spotify we all use Spotify we all use Spotify I mean hell you guys have been listening to this show for fucking years and I've been making playlists to go along with the show Spotify forever we'd rather go with the company that we like rather than being forced into the fucking asshole of Apple yep yes which is going to happen eventually it's you're gonna it's gonna fucking just roll over everything like a goddamn steam

roller you're about to have to download a new app for Apple podcast fucking anyway but I am gonna say this the shows are gonna get better or should it's gonna get thicker to cease it's gonna get wilder the top top weird very large pointy breasts of podcasts are coming out you it's amazing so thank you all for thank you all so much for being on this journey with us this is just another fun exciting chapter so just get out there download the Spotify app for free and you get our show for free and we're gonna shut up about this for a while because it's not gonna take place for a couple months like we're literally like it's not gonna be into early 2020 it'll be like February before this actually happens

so you have plenty of time to get used to the transition plenty of time and again I just I think it's easier than people think it is and even for us it's it took us a second to realize what was going on and that's where we had all the carve outs and anyway we'll never stop fighting for you so thank you all so much for the support over the years and we can't wait to see you all on the road in the very near future mm-hmm all right everyone thank you for listening we'll talk to you soon hail yourselves hail Satan again Magus deletions hail me all come on come on Henry I'm sorry we're just not looking for your type today and the air on the spacecraft we're gonna go with the Brazilian farmer again turns

out the grays like him they say that he's attractive not Polish I'll go down on him this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com