Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 393: The Murder of Girly Chew Hossencofft Part I - My Sweet Goon

Episode Date: December 7, 2019

On today's episode, we begin to explore the disappearance and murder of Girly Chew Hossencofft, a story that encompasses conmen, bogus government conspiracies, blood, and who else but the Reptilians.��

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left This is another story that reminds us all That yes, you may have been born short Right sure and you get a couple of you could get so you got a bad hand You got it. You got a pair of threes which you think is good at the time Mm-hmm. Well, I mean to be fair everyone is born short even if they become tall you that is true Philosophically you are correct But you know you're born with a pair of threes right it's a pair right

But it's not something you want to bet on never bet man unless you can get the psychological edge of the table Well, but what about the river? And then the flop Bluffing is what I'm talking about. Okay, so what you got to do is you get you born with pair of threes You got ack like you got five kings And that's what the Ozzy on hazen cough Is that parenting corner to start the show?

Right welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Marcus Hi, hi, and of course we got Henry Zabrowski here. We are in beautiful Toronto. Look at this beautiful sewage filled beach Don't pretend like you didn't create half of the sewage in the 24 hours. We've been here Well today's story this is extremely fascinating and Enthralling and you know what I'm gonna say number one. I'm against it What am I against the murder of girly shoe? Thank you, that's what I'm making a bold statement right up top. I'm against the murder of this tiny Malaysian woman

Yes, the murder of girly shoe is what we're talking about today So on September 9th 1999 a Malaysian immigrant named girly shoe Hassan coughed disappeared from her apartment in Albuquerque, New Mexico Her body has never been found but two people were still convicted for murder in connection with her disappearance This is a very Convoluted story there's a con man and a series of victims It's highly fascinating and I feel like this is one of those like

Internet true crime things that came out because this happened Probably the beginning of all of these various true crime blogs and the very very beginning of the internet that like kingdom Seemed to hold people's imagination and now there's a lot more information out there about it, which we're excited to Get inside today. Oh, right Motiv-wise this is one of the nuttiest goddamn stories We've ever covered while this story at its core is about a bargain basement Charles Manson who participated in the murder of his wife It's also a story of government conspiracies bogus youth serums Fashion oh and who else but the reptilians?

I'm so excited to get back into reptilians, but you say bargain basement Charles Manson like it's bad You know what? I also found in a bargain basement. What's that? Nothing but trouble That's garbage as well, but sometimes it's all about what do you believe? What do you support? It's hard for me to shop in a bargain basement clothing store because not a lot of big people die Yeah, why don't you talk about big people die all the time? I know you die so much faster than the rest of us, but they tear all their pants So then they can't be sold in the bargain basement. Well, you shit yourself when you die So I imagine a lot of you guys have bad diets

So I'm just this year grease from your intestines must ruin those clothes But I bet you could buy a bunch of sheets and you could kind of put them together a bunch of safety pants Yeah, you want me to wear a bunch of white sheets and walk around New York. You think that would be a good look for me It's like the world's tallest clansman You think that's gonna work you tell people it's a mo mo so they don't think you're clansmen The person at the center of this story is a diminutive con man with a weirdly high-pitched voice named Dias and Hossenkopf who discovered that if you're gonna convince people you're a 10,000 year old alien working as the last Line of Defense against the reptilians. Oh the place to do it is New Mexico

Honestly, yeah, I think he hit that one right on the nose. It's not gonna read as well in Delaware It's not gonna play in the Northwest in Delaware. You're gonna be talking to someone who's like no That is me sir and speaking of the voice Let's take a listen to a short clip of Hosenkopf talking about the murder of his wife. She knew she was going to be hunted like the dog she was and Yes, she knew like a scared rabbit in an open field. She knew she knew it's like what I'm looking at my lunch on a plane I just think oh you're just sitting right near next to the forks You have a weapon in your hands, but you're useless to defend yourself against my wonderful mouth. Oh my god

It sounds like Joaquin Phoenix Joker if you really love the TV show Designing Women He did not do nearly as much cardio as Joaquin Phoenix's Joker. Oh Despite this voice the one person who completely fought the alien Messiah story was a highly gullible fashion designer cat lady named Linda Henning you mean cat mother Yes, that's a good point and people criticize the cat mother, but those cats need a mother I mean she doesn't need to feed them with her to eat But they do need to be loved. I want to also I don't want to go out of here I just want to really stay for the record is that we can't really speak towards ah

It's not that Linda Henning is Stupid no what point of gullible a little boy. Yeah, what point does gullible become dumb? Yeah, that's a hard question. Yes. I mean I think gullible Let's just call her gullidum She's just I mean she's just the sort of one we're we're gonna get into her mostly on episode 2 But the quote that really stuck with me about Linda Henning was something that her mother said about her is that She would believe that the moon was made of green cheese if a boy told her Yikes, that is a that is a mom daughter feeling. That's a mom daughter mood

But why would it be green cheese just as an example? Yeah, I know but it's the moon But I've never heard this moon is made of green cheese nonsense. Do you think the moon looks yellow? No, the moon looks yellow all the time when it's close to the earth. Please continue the story Well as far as the law is concerned these two people committed an Undoubtedly brutal murder that we still to this day don't know the details of all we know is that way too much of Gurley's blood was found for her to still be alive Hmm, however, it is possible that there was a third man involved here an anti-government Conspiracy nut named Bill Miller

And it's also possible that Linda Henning may have just been another victim of Dyson Hossenkoff Even if she is to this day wildly unhinged She's just got an intensity. She's got it. You watch any one-on-one interviews with her. She's a lot of fun She's a former laundry model turn laundry designer. So she's she's very beautiful She's got big crazy eyes that do not blank No, and she brought the reptilians to the table, which we'll see because De Azean was almost in his way He's kind of like a funhouse mirror of your own ideas Which is what I think the way that con men work really well where they take your crazy ideas already and they yes

And them to a place where all of a sudden he's injecting you with his own blood Yes, damn. So on a scale of let's say Charlie Sheen peak Charlie Sheen tiger blood Charlie Sheen when he went on a live tour just Improvising things yelling and things that an audience will he go through stuff at him because he really thought he could nail it and he didn't Or Shelley DeVall Where is she? Because she seems like a little bit of a Shelley DeVall type

For me who she really reminds me of is Carla Faye Tucker. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, the pickaxe murderer from back in Texas. Really? Yeah. Yeah, the one that they executed Oh, yeah, she's got that kind of really hard intensity even kind of looks like Carla Faye Tucker She has a homicidal edge. She is like she's like if Shelley DeVall and Jack Torrance were one person Look at that But that's the thing about it is that Linda Henning may not have had anything to do with this murder I don't know We're gonna get into it. We're never gonna get into it real deep on episode 2

But it's very much a possibility that she is completely innocent Dyson Hassenkopf. He made this very fucking convoluted and Confusing he is a real like I that's why it's a part of like technically he was just an early Charles Manson This is I was talking about this with Natalie. I think that he's that he's muppet babies Charles Manson He just started getting his cult going. Yeah, and I mean they were killing people early If he had managed to leave town, but all these people will get into that We'll get into this deep early right now I'm just saying he was just in training but Charles Manson didn't know about this Hassenkopf character

He would inspire Charles Manson or anything like that. This is just as this is late 90s. Oh, this is the late 90s Yeah, he's talking about Henry's talking about Charles Manson early on in his career. Ah Yeah, but Charles Manson was also a bit of a phenom because he had that whole cult going within a year getting out of prison Dog some people just you just saw some of the rock and they put up threes You can squiggle dance like that. You're gonna get followers. Yeah, I mean Dyson Hassenkopf What we're gonna see is just a tornado of misery. Yeah, I mean he is confusion He's a tornado of misery and confusion. That's exactly what it is He just fucking knows how to make this is that's why he became a compelling figure to me

It's because you start really everybody's getting pulled down into this mud with him and it gets more and more convoluted as it goes All right, but before we get too deep into this story Let's acknowledge our main source for this series this week's book is September sacrifice by Mark Horner Which does one hell of a job putting together the pieces on this fantastically messy yet fascinating story I'm gonna give him a title so far one of my favorite titles of any book We've covered it's a good title and that's usually the most that I read of any book It's very capital T capital C crude true crime. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, if you like true crime if you're very much if you're in a true crime books September sacrifice

Good read for you. Oh, yeah, so since there are two possibly three people involved in this single murder Let's start with the life of the so-called mastermind Dyson Hossenkoff aka Armand Chavez aka Haas Honestly, Haas is cool. Well, they call me the house Because I do the thing they go up to the jukebox and I pump it and instead of it working the shit The jukebox just shuts off and the bar closes

You are the Haas usually Haas isn't given to a little guy like Dyson usually Haas is a guy like you like your size Yeah, that's what they call me. Yeah, somebody with rhombosis vein thrombosis born in Houston in 1965 as Armand Chavez Dyson's family soon moved to Phoenix where Dyson had a relatively normal childhood But when Dyson was in high school, he suffered a severe head injury Following the injury Hosenkoff's transformed from a normal teenager into a complete

sociopath and this is well within the bounds of scientific possibility to see the brain is a fantastically complicated if Fragile thing and knocking the hell out of it can have dire consequences I'll tell you that from all the lamb brains. I've eaten honestly and we've talked about this on the show about how all the lamb brains You've eaten. Yeah Honestly, when did you start doing lamb brain? He's been eating lamb brains forever. It's happened. It's fine It happens. It's but they are very snushy, right? They're very sclushy-gooshy and they wiggle a lot

And so if you just think about that being in the side is like you just think about all that wiggle being inside of Joe Biden's head Right, and you're like this guy's gonna be president this guy with this aside of his fucking head suckin on that woman's fingers Oh my goodness for some reason I did a little Google search of Chris Benoit's brain to see how damaged it was And he does like pitch black. Yeah supposed to be like a little bit more white. Yeah look like charred cauliflower It was it really dead. So I think that's why he killed his family and himself But this is very common in serial killers head injury equals change in personality for forever towards the negative Yep Now we don't know exactly what part of Dyson's brain was injured

But we can make an educated guess that it was either the amygdala the frontal lobe or both If it was the amygdala then Dyson would not have had access to the part of his brain that processed complex emotions if it was the frontal lobe then Dyson lost his sense of self-control and his ability to morally judge a situation and If both of those regions were effectively turned off Then you've got someone who has a high chance of becoming a sociopath. I mean or a CEO or a stand-up comedian A sociopath or a sociopath. A lot of CEOs are sociopaths. I know that gotta be man to win Do you gotta be to win? Well that you don't have to be but it helps it helps a lot sometimes

But of course in nature is only half of the equation and according to Dyson's half brother The entire Chavez family were charismatic individuals with the ability to manipulate the weak and gullible into doing Whatever they want it. Um, so I'm very interested when you mentioned his brother What half of him was missing the top half or the bottom half? Push you out this window. What's my role on the show? So what you had with Dyson was a man who was at least Implicitly taught by his family how to manipulate others in the bad situations Combine that with the man who was completely untethered from human empathy and you've got a fantastically dangerous little man and

Coupled with all that his beautiful hair. He actually I will admit he did have beautiful luxer luxurious hair You can be a sociopath with great hair. He looks like the shortest Native American chief who ever existed beautiful sable black hair He looks like he would be because on a horse everybody's the same white you get him on a horse Yeah, you see that hair. He looks like like a tourism for a Wyoming Something like that like some kind of you think but the problem is that he has tiny beady little eyes And he's got really thick glasses which make those beady eyes look even smaller You know, I that's he's like Lawrence Lessig meets like Fabio if Fabio had very dark hair weird weird

I was also thinking it's like Pugsley Pugsley made love to Edward James almost Remember that guy Lorenzo Lamas. Yeah, sure. Yeah, thank you. This is really helpful Well, he's got nice hair, too. Are we just gonna talk people with nice hair? And we could go on and on But the final ingredient for what Dyson into the treacherous con man He eventually became were two things that dies and shares with a lot of the people we cover here on the show a superiority complex and a long track record of failure

You know that middle manager you deal with it's a pain in your balls your pussy every single fucking day Because he worked as hard as he thinks or she thinks she's a fucking genius She's handed some menial job or what she now or believes is a menial job The ASEAN is all over this his whole thing is that I'm a genius Why aren't people coming to me and asking me for everything like I I should be in charge of the world Anyone that's worked at a Walmart to target a fast food restaurant knows the manager is never the smartest person in the shop No, they want them kind of dumb so that they can follow orders properly and not question Why you have to you know chop up the two-day-old chili and two-day-old meet and put it in

You're talking about your time at Arby's. No, this is not Wednesday. That was Wednesday. I'm sorry I'm just saying you always downgraded. It was an Arby's Sabaro Oh, it's not even a whole Arby's? No, it's a whole Arby's. It's a half an Arby's. You worked at half an Arby's. No Did you work on the Arby's side or the Sabaro's side? Mostly the Arby's side. You are a quarter of an employee You're not even a full employee of the restaurant. You're completely missing the pizza component I am just saying do not get restaurant managers mad at us. I'm not going to that's what you're doing. No I'm not talking small business restaurant managers. Interesting. Well, no, they're actually the world and these jobs are full of sociopaths

There's a great book about this called the sociopath next door Which really studies how sociopaths settle into these types of like middle manager positions because those are the positions That they can control people from and essentially make people's lives hell because it's easy And they know how to just kind of tread water because all you have to do is stick to the corporate rules to the letter Yep, which means you can drive everybody that you could and make them follow these these weird Set of circumstances that are just sent to them from Russia Absolutely See Dyson did graduate from college with a bachelor's in chemistry

But when he started applying to medical schools, he found that not a single one wanted him And anytime anyone brought this up He would get enormously angry So I hear you are too dumb for medical school Hey, Robbie. Hey, Robbie. You want to see something fun? I asked this guy how smart he is. Did he get into medical school? Medical school. Hey, I how is medical school? We could do this all day

And he's tiny so he can't do anything Well, all of this was according to his first wife Rosemary Guerrero Who also said that she caught her husband in the bathtub drawing his own blood multiple times Still read No kidding Now Dyson refuses to speak to writers and reporters so we don't know exactly what the blood drawing was all about But if we extrapolate from what we do know about Dyson, then I think he believed in his own brilliance

Medical schools be damned and if medical schools weren't going to take him He was going to do medicine his own way in his own time Which is technically truer to the original sense of medicine Then not correct because the I know I know it's a troublesome ledge to walk on But there's all he really did sort of believe that he could hold these These experiments that he would which in the end it showed experiment. He's drawn blood in the bathtub No clue. I know that he is he believes as we'll go on his con will will extend to him saying he's a geneticist And he was going to break the human genome. He was going to do all of this, right?

But I think a part of what he truly was just doing was taking his blood out of his arm Looking at it under a microscope and just going I see all the building blocks But doing nothing else and saving his blood in these little refrigerators He is the scientist equivalent of saying honey I'm off to work as I do every day And then you leave the house with a suitcase and a suit on and then you go sit at the train station for eight hours And then you come back me like sure bush from work honey. What a hard day I had

Yep. Well, well faking having a job is also more difficult often more difficult than having a job Yeah, what are you going to do with eight hours every day just out in the city? And you can't jerk off? Well at some point you're going to and then that's going to be a whole another problem Well Dyson began just taking his own blood and later he started taking the blood of others Oh, that's the problem And it was around the time that the blood drawing began that Dyson decided to try murder for the first time Although in this he was once again a failure. Okay. You try playing basketball for the first time

You try football or maybe even like a little ping-pong. I when do you I don't know if you try murder you try murder? Yeah, yeah, of course You don't just give it a workman's shot then technically you tried murder. Yeah, and then you try try again It's the legal term for it is attempted murder. Right. Yeah, that's that's right Well in 1988 a wealthy heiress to a hotel fortune named Paula Young Hired Dyson as a household helper mostly in charge of balancing her checkbook and cooking her meals So this is this is where she's at right? She hired a man to come and essentially be Sort of like a life assistant. She needed

She needed help to to just do the Basic numbers on her checks the checkbook and her day-to-day shit which shows that she was a highly Vulnerable human being right But after one meal in which Dyson kept emphasizing the deliciousness of the squash he'd cooked try the squash try the squash Make sure to eat the squash squash is great. Put a lot of extra effort into the squash. All right Mrs. Young was struck with a double fist bout of diarrhea and vomiting. Ah, that's the diarrhea vomit squash Yeah, and she wasn't doing it. She didn't do it to herself like you do. Right, right Turned out Dyson had loaded the squash with arsenic

Unfortunately though young filed no charges So no investigation was carried out and Dyson moved on from both young and his first marriage Leaving behind a child So he got married real quick. They had a child real quick. He started again with her She immediately said I am going to medical school. Yeah to his first wife Was not going to medical school. So that's already a hot pile of shit This woman allowed herself to almost be murdered and then they she just was like Let's just say bygones be bygones and let him leave. Yeah, so it's very very strange

It's mostly just because I don't she was very advanced in age and I think a part of it was knowing what she'd have to go through To prosecute him and do all this kind of stuff where it's mostly she just became even more of a shallower like She pulled herself out as a human being from all society. Well, she didn't die and maybe she was kind of bound up Maybe this may be this was a colon cleanse that she needed I think she was just at the end of her life and was like, I don't want to spend the last five years of my life in a fucking courtroom A year after that Dyson managed to snake his way into uc berkeley and a biochemistry professor named

Charles grissom became a firsthand witness to the type of pathological lying that dyson became known for Dyson told professor grissom that his wife and child had died in a terrible car crash Oh, but from what it sounds like armon's lies only really worked when people took him at face value See dyson didn't seem like a man mired in tragedy to the professor So grissom looked into the claim found nothing and confronted dyson Because he was just like, yeah, my wife and child. They're dead. You know when I like six months ago So it's like mr. Dyson your wife and your and your child are dead boo-hoo

Yes, that is me crying Yes, I am just so what's the word? Um happy No, I feel fresh and ready to work. I'm a doctor. I'm actually I'm actually in space right now Did you know that I'm actually no, I'm the word is sad. Okay, I'm very sad and I'm boo I I believe it So when grissom confronted him and said this is all bullshit dyson switched tactics He wrote and planted two sets of letters where grissom would find them

One set supposedly from his ex-wife begging him to come home And another set from dyson telling her he couldn't possibly because his calling was just too great nailed it Here we go. He will read this and see he he he I meant to be the doctor to be He wanted there's something about pathological liars That love this emotional manipulation where he That that's what's very interesting about dyson which I think in the end why he ended up going to jail Was because really all he ever wanted was the push and pull of people's emotions Yeah, just saying because it's like it's easy to check if somebody's wife and child died

If you want to and you keep pressing it like it's this major fact of your life And it was an immediate lie. He started at the very top for no reason other than to get someone to go Aw because there's there's something about you know, Ben you did it. You went as soon as I said it you went Well, it's a very sad idea. You know, you lost your wife. You lost your you lost your son Now you have to run for senate. You now you're running for president. You're joe biden And john travolta. Oh really killed his own son. No, that's ridiculous newer secrets That's don't you mentioned the hair plugs in public. Is that where you're calling lies now new secrets? So why didn't this doctor though? Why didn't the doctor just ask him if he was a doctor?

It's it it I forgot what this position was. Well, he was just going to school. He was in He was just going to school. It was just going to school and it wasn't medical school. It was still like an undergrad program He was just taking classes with this guy. This guy was just because this guy wasn't even a doctor. He was a professor Oh, okay, professor grissom. Ah, and so he showed up to this program He starts one line of bull immediately he's teachers like why are you even doing this? Why are you lying like this and then imagine somebody because this is where because he's also kind of he is stupid Like he is obviously he some things are not firing inside of his fucking brain. Right. So then he lays it out like it's Fucking de grassy

He puts out these letters on his professor's desk to be like now he'll really feel sympathy for me Which is all of this horseshit, which is all like it's another it's another step I'm like why the fuck are we even doing this? Yeah, but when Dyson got neither sympathy for the fake deaths nor admiration for his Quote-unquote sacrifices He just disappeared with a bunch of lab equipment and never darkened UC Berkeley's door again. See what you do without these bunsen burners I love the bunsen burner But before he left he was able to convince some of his fellow students to part with the few vials of their blood You have to have a gift in a way. Yeah to get people to do the thing because there's how many people are afraid of needles

A lot right a bunch of people. Did you voluntarily sit down with um, uh, a fucking It's evil dwarf You have to sit with this evil bespectacled dwarf Despite his beautiful hair, which I sure at one point you're looking to be like, well, he's got to know something to get that hair That was well naturally, but he's out there and he starts fucking being like I just need a little bit of your blood And you are just like, yeah, sure. Well, how do you buddy? I think a key component is did he put like vampire fangs in? Be like now I'll take it from your neck or did he do it the proper way? Was there a needle? Was there a syringe? No, he acted super legit. Yeah, the whole thing was this is an experiment

This is probably I imagine he did the line of like this is for Or the uc-berkeley lab association bullshit and we're doing experiments It was all about a con because when he left uc-berkeley Records were found that showed that daizen had falsified lab results Stolen stationary from a hospital to falsify a letter of recommendation and had conned two women out of cash And that's what the blood was all about. So was it super obvious? Was he like stacey? Your blood has sea monkeys in it You're an alien. No, it actually got it got interesting because he had this idea that he could extend human life forever Well, what I mean? Honestly, if just this guy was if it was all true, you know, if it was all true

Yeah It's like the woman with the big eyes and the low voice with the tiny little blood mechanism Oh, yeah, the uh, what is it the founder was it? Yeah, the um, what's her name? I can't Yeah, she talked like this, but she's beautiful With the turtleneck and everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah turtleneck lady. What's the name of that? If she was correct about the invention You would have been fine. She would have been a billion. Yeah. Is that theranos? Yeah, yeah, yeah theranos. Yeah, yeah Well, the other thing about his experiments is that one of his later neighbors who was also a scientist

Said that daizen could talk the talk Like he was actually very smart and that he could absorb all of these different words and all these different concepts And he could spout it all back to you where it very much and he said it was such confidence That it very much sounded like he knew what he was talking about you real lrh told us That it was an essential nature of building a massive con which is you have to talk Your target your marks language. You have to come at them from them Like you have to take whatever it is that they're saying whatever it is that they're dealing with you have to take it And you got it twisted so that it makes sense to them almost as if they're coming up with the idea on their own

So as you slowly insinuate and you realize you you hear buzzwords It's like on stupid like in the one world like i'm certain in the restaurant world There are things that you say right that shows you've worked in a restaurant. Yeah like on set There are things that there there are terminologies and stuff that happens that shows that oh this person has been on set But all you have to do is over here. You could just be it's like a janitor over hearing a bunch of like bg talk You could pick up all the terms then all of a sudden next thing, you know You're married to scarlett johansson and you're working on the fucking weekend update on snl college host did this wow isn't that the dream he can't read or write no kidding

I think the most important thing to know if someone's been a waiter or not Is if they laugh or don't laugh when serving the poo poo platter Most of the time it's it's an asian thing so normally they don't consider it to be funny because it's just the name of the day There's some fusion restaurants And also in wisconsin. There's some poo poo platters served. I went I went to a chinese restaurant there So does the waiter laugh when they serve the poo poo platter? No, they don't laugh because it's not funny Ah, but for me, I'll have the poo poo platter That is great

Well after the whole fiasco at uc berkeley diason figured he deserved a new start So in 1992 he moved to albuquerque new mexico and legally changed his name from armond chavez to diason hasenkofft and he chose this name because he said it combined the two master races the germans and the japanese So after his arrival in new mexico Dyson spotted a personal ad in an albuquerque newspaper that was placed by a 72 year old Aris named sonny blake who was looking for a lover

Oh, yeah, I mean the main reason why sonny put out the ad was because she'd been diagnosed with breast cancer She's just looking for a little bit of comfort at the end of her life Which is nothing wrong with that and it's a very human impulse. Of course, absolutely Someone could have sent her one of those rabbits And that would have helped but you want a warm body You know just not a rabbit you can get a big bag of soup Attach the rabbit to the end of it and then just ride that The little vibrator there. Um, that's a weird thing to lead with though in your in your personal

Didn't lead with it in their personal. No, no, no, that wasn't interpersonal I had it wasn't like that scene in fight club with a woman's like I just want to get laid one last time I have lubricants. Yeah It's not a craigslist One of those ads is a very sweet ad saying I'm lonely and I like to spend the last of my days With somebody who'd be willing to share their time with me Okay, and it does also seem like a gigantic like hey conman. Yeah come and get me But I'm not gonna blame this poor woman. No, no, no, no. Well, what Dyson saw here was an opportunity

This is when hazenkoff began a scam that would take money from an untold number of desperate women over the next eight years or so He told sonny blake that he was a cutting-edge geneticist who would crack the cancer cure and could also reverse aging Yeah He basically said I'm gonna fix your breast cancer Uh, and I'm gonna make you young again, which is Joe. I mean, it's wild two things that I would that's good It's it's wild to think that no anybody because I think you know when you first read this be like, oh who the hell would buy this But then you're desperate. Yeah, he comes in and he can speak highly technical horseshit

About what he has learned from various labs about about blood and all this kind of shit. He's got a fucking lab coat on Yeah, which in a weird way like works. It's like why they have the weird people on the street trying to collect your blood pressure They just throw a dirty lab coat on them. It's like, oh, I'm supposed to put my arm in this crushing machine Right, and he's also got a name that sounds like a movie doctor Like dr. Haßenkofft is here for your genetic treatments. Yeah, that sounds kind of legit Yeah, I suppose turn your head in haßenkofft He also specifically said he wanted a difficult name There this is where that the where magical thinking and con men's shit kind of like all kind of come together

Where he's like when you make your name a puzzle When you make your name this thing that people have to like they get kind of be like, oh, this person is is leagues deeper Then I thought he'd be so they have to think about it. You got to think about it just to say his name Diazian haßenkofft you have to like prepare your mouth to say the name And so he knows that to the point where people were just calling him d or h like just calling them these things Which also helps you to disappear because eventually people like oh his name was like namamian Robin cross like he's and he's gone. Yeah He also he reminds me of the doctor from reanimator

Yeah, the guy who just continues to kill cats and then bring them bring them back to life a true scientist A true scientist Well, personally, I think the reason why people fell for diazins geneticist shtick Was because he ran this scheme throughout the 90s and thanks to the oj simpson trial and Jurassic park don't get about Jurassic park Most people at least knew what dna was kind of but the specifics were a mystery It was something new but it was also something Reasonable it was actually being used in real life in the oj simpson trial So people were like, okay. Well that sounds legit and i'm dying and i've got a lot of money

So let's roll the fucking dice on dr. D. Yeah, but i mean the oj simpson trial It was doomed for the prosecution because the jury as soon as they heard the words dna. They were like big if true big if true but now But because of the the fuck up at that trial it almost then caused a generation of people to become vaguely educated on it And it became buzzwords. So it became like a thing or like, okay, all right So he's talking to dna shit. Okay. Yeah, and when diazins arrived on the scene drawn blood and handed out invoices with terms like Polymer decoding sequencing x-ray crystallography and cryogenic containment field Which is a mini fridge in your hotel room

That is true when he's throwing all that shit out like people were impressed and confused enough to just give him money It's like sure. Okay. That's that's what you got to do This is how much it cost and how much it cost about a couple hundred bucks for each little procedure new mexico's a fucking massive Retirement community as well a lot of people go there to retire So you also have this kind of an endless revolving door of people showing up to die In new mexico and you just kind of can start running through them as they die Yeah, and each invoice he sent out had about 40 or so charges on it, which you know 40 charges around 200 bucks each each treatment. That means he's getting about eight grand for nothing

And charge 38 was poo poo platter because the doctor's gotta eat Doctor you remember receiving this poo poo platter. I didn't see a bucket wishing in it Honestly, I have heard nothing but great things about new mexico and I would love to go visit that great state new mexico's great I love new mexico. I love going to riadosa and cloudcroft and all that great places great mountains We'll have to go sometimes everybody's bragging about fucking new mexico You going to new mexico name dropping all these cities You want to go to mexico? Why do you marry it? I like old mexico. I like it better when it was old

Okay Well because sonny blake was desperate to live she bought not only dyson's bogus science But also all of his bullshit stories When he told her that his daughter had died in a car crash and that he was going to use his dead child's hair to Recreate her in a laboratory from scratch. Oh my she believed him When he told her the only way she could get the youth serum was if she let him transfer his own blood into her body No, she believed him and let him do it. Oh my this isn't good. Think about this How insane that is. It's so crazy. He legitimately said I have built the cure within my own blood

So let me just give you some of mine because this is when he started his storyline that he might be anywhere from 2000 to 10 000 years old This is this this is a line of bullshit that he starts right now I'll be like so I've seen it all I met vlad the impaler Lovely dude, you would you believe his hors d'oeuvres or actually serve without sticks? Really incredible? I was like this is ironic This is funny. You are funny. Is this tbs? It is funny And I but I do have the cure inside of me and so he would do is draw his own blood in front of her and then inject his hot blood Into you now it wasn't until the cancer caused sonny's breast to swell to several times

It's normal size did her son convince her to go to a real doctor the oncologist course told her You got six months to live. You should have come a lot earlier. Damn By the time blake died in early 1996 Haas and coughed had built her out of 500 Thousand dollars that's one of his marks one person. That is just one fucking person and this con lasted Three years. I mean he was with these people for years upon years upon years and he was running I mean, we don't even know how many he was running at once I mean it is countless women all across the united states

So you're the kid you go home for christmas and then you're in new mexico and you're like mom Who is this? Who is this guy again? It's very very scary because he would obviously manipulate the vulnerable and the old And they would whatever you would mark corner the the and the lead detective both said about d we'll call him d was that he He could measure you Within 30 seconds. Yeah, he was one of those guys where like I know that they're I think that they're being a little capital T Capital see true crime after a while they're they're like he was a master manipulator Right, I don't know if it was like that. It's just that he just had a sixth sense for who

Was the right combination of vulnerable Maybe a little bit on the dim side and also desperate and he'd zip he'd zip right into their lives And he did it all over the internet too because this is the advance of the internet dating during this time period So when he was very early on onto the internet understood immediately Oh, I can be anybody on the internet. So he was a smart predator. I mean, he was absolutely a predator I mean, I think actually that's what horner said in his book Is like he is the definition of a predator because a predator doesn't waste their time Going after hard game. No predator goes for the weak the sick the small

And that's what and that's what dyson husk and cop was and hitting him for any amount of money that he could get him Like he he was shooting for the big bucks, but he'll take a hundred bucks off you He'll he'll take fucking 50 bucks off you like he would and so he started these email campaigns as well So that's why he gets into the countless is that we know that he probably had like Three to five girlfriends that he met physically But who knows who else he was just fucking hitting up on the internet Just hit emailing people and seeing who would fucking respond. Well, if I was super sick, I'd give it I'd give it a shot for 50 bucks. Let's take his blood for 50 bucks. Yeah

Yeah, you squirt in your mouth Well the person who had no idea any of this was going on until it was way too late was hazen kauf's second wife girly chew Originally from malaysia girly chew story with hazen kauf. It sounds like a fucking worst-case scenario 90 day fiancé episode Yeah, damn worst-case scenario That whole thing is a worst-case scenario No, this isn't just garty It's not just her like it's not just a horrible woman from brazil like it's like it is

Real real bad shit. I don't know why I cannot watch that show. I tried it makes me so uncomfortable We are so sad. I know some people do it in our house. I know I know See while girly later told the fbi that she met dies and hazen kauf through pin pal magazine A friend maintained that the two met at seaworld while girly was traveling through america in 1992 From what I heard though and what she's publicly said. She was not a yotter Which is the term for paid models that are on yachts that people go Oh The kind that they accuse the brazilian girl of the latest season of the 90 day fiancé a being

Yes, which is very often and she's not a prostitute Yes, I did pay $10,000 to be on the boat and yet she was on the boat, but I didn't directly pay her God what turns is your life have to make when you're on the street in brazil yelling? She's not a prostitute She's my daughter. I mean wife I'm pretending. She's my daughter and get her america, but she's my wife. Do I have to yell at everyone? I Maybe it'll last maybe it's love, but girly chew was not a male order bread. No not at all She's a I think that of she's from whatever they said couldn't have been more of an innocent

Beautiful flower woman who was just kind of radiant to everyone that she met She was just this lovely woman that kind of fit was filled with life Very trusting. Yes. That was the thing about girly chew. She wasn't gullible She was trusting and pretty soon after her and dyson met She fell under his spell and came to visit him in albuquerque Now her whole thing was that she just chose to trust the wrong fucking american Because from her point of view this guy she'd met at sea world. He had money He had an impressive resume because that's what he would do. He would actually send his resume to people like look like i'm

Telling the truth. Here's a bunch of pieces of paper that say i'm telling the truth. That is 1990s romance But filled with typos. Yeah number one filled with typos He had a hard time writing and it was also i mean it's just insane Like he was a head geneticist for the human genome project He was a person that was flown all like all of this kind of shit He will get it gets deeper and deeper about he was flown deeper deeper deeper deeper How he's flown all over the world to do Uh jobs that you you couldn't describe if you wanted to because they are not real

Yeah, so this is a lesson too good to be true always always too good to be true always Because that's the thing is that girl that you saw all this money and she heard all these impressive credentials I mean what you didn't know the money was all from conning old ladies and the resume was totally bogus And as henry said just filled with typos But if you didn't know What was going on like if you didn't know this shit, yeah, you wouldn't see it You wouldn't see the typos you wouldn't see all the shit like you wouldn't be able to tell and in her defense. How strange is this? This is not normal behavior like you don't assume that the person is just making everything up

All of the money is coming from scamming elderly women who have breast cancer like I that that's not the first place I go When finding a mate well, he his main his bio with her because they had a different bio with everybody His bio with her that he was raised in switzerland by rich people who died and they left him a massive trust fund And so he's living off the largesse of his family But also he's an amateur slash professional geneticist who's also but he is in medical school But he has a job as a geneticist as well. Yeah Oh, it makes perfect sense and there was a big red flag right at the beginning and this little part of his story is It becomes bigger and bigger with diazin with each successive person that he cons

Because when they first met he was calling himself armand chavez By the time girly came to albuquerque for a visit. He was like, no Now you call me diazin hosson. That's a totally different name. That's a much different name So you just went ahead and changed your name. Yeah, but from what he said, this was not actually a name change Rather armand chavez was the alias But he only used armand chavez when he was doing secret defense work for the government Yeah, oh my god. He's like mitt romney on twitter. Yeah He was doing secret work for the government. Wow. Wasn't his name like pierre lip clonk. Yeah, I think it was p

What was it? Oh man, what was I mean? It wasn't as bad as carlos danger, but it was definitely something pierre. It was pierre. Yeah Oh But he you know because diazin hosson cough is too remarkable of a name to work for covert ops For the government. It takes a chump name like armand chavez. Yeah, of course And in true 90 day fiancé form when girly arrived in albuquerque in december of 1992 Diazin was waiting with a dazzling seven thousand dollar engagement ring and girly married him less than two weeks After she arrived in america. Yikes, but that's what kind of she was told. She didn't even take the full 90 days She didn't even take the full 90 days

They didn't have to wait till the k1 visa ran out. They didn't talk with her weird Like they didn't talk with these weird like step cousin who hangs out all the time like over fake drinks in a staged bar Going I just don't know if you're committed enough diazin for you guys to stay together Wow, how will his children accept this? Now since girly had been a bank teller in malaysia and spoke great english She pretty quickly got a job at the bank of new mexico and by all accounts girly was as we said Sweet hardworking caring just an absolute delight to be around her best friend at work Ernie johnson was an older lady who she called every night before going to sleep because she ernie johnson told told

girly been like I want you to check in with me and see how you're growing at new mexico So she went and they talk every single night before going to sleep This is kind of like which is nice in this case, but you know that ernie johnson was probably kind of a pain in the ass When you work with her But she but it was it was nice, right? But they all called her computer chip Yeah at work because she wanted to know every single thing about the business and she was always Early and she never missed a single day of work. It's like actually kind of a cute name. Yeah, yeah cute name

It was also it was pierre delectico But the problems with diazin started when it was discovered that girly was infertile Now for some reason diazin badly wanted another child even though he'd abandoned his first And he pressured girly even more by claiming he was quote the last of the hawson calls I am the very last and they won't make it all the after me unless I make one in my lab I can do that of course, you know that right? Well, yes, I know we could have a baby, but I could also make it a lab or not Well, I could combine a a chimps DNA and a man's DNA and make a manchimp

Yeah, why don't you just make the kid in your lab then because I'm I'm totally infertile here. I'm obviously girly too Oh girly you sound so delectable Oh girly is you beautiful woman. Yeah, you want to try to you just want to try to practice. Oh, you're so tight Oh, you're so tight girly All right, well that act out is freaking me out That is I did that. I'm sorry now They did try the age old method of replacing a child with a dog Henry know all about that one hell. Yeah Hey, man, it's best part about a dog's I can put it in a cage for six hours and I'm not gonna have a fucking cps call about it

Absolutely But the first dog they got almost immediately died after what sounds like chocolate poisoning They fed the dogs either chocolate or grapes or like one of those things you just can't fucking give dogs Come on. Yeah, I don't know because it also sounds like he killed the dog He might have because the dog would it sound like the dog was poisoned in some way shape or form They don't do autopsies on dogs unless it's It costs a lot of money. Yeah to do an autopsy on a dog and I would I don't put it past him to see How can I rev this emotional situation? Yeah, how do I kill this dog?

Because then what you're doing is I'm getting rid of the baby substitute And what that then means because you start and open up this thing with girly being like I'll bring another woman into the scenario that will be our surrogate and yes I have to do it the fun way, but that's only because we want our kid to love us, right? And of course I try getting another dog or girly try getting another dog That dog got the fuck out of there ran away within a week. Oh dogs. No evil Quote-unquote ran away. Do you think he killed two dogs? I think it became a floaty in the river. Oh And all the while Dyson was constantly in and out of town on what he told girly where his quote-unquote

Business trips. Now at first he said he was attending graduate school need to get one more degree Then he said he was on the lecture circuit. What does that even mean? That means you're going out and giving lectures at different universities. You know what we're doing That's what technically we are on the lecture circuit. Yeah, yeah us and boss gags Who else follows us all the time on tour? We were talking about it. It's boss gags Boss gags, uh, brian wilson is on the tour with us a lot brian selzer organ brian brian selzer orchestra. Yeah, we we play no idea why well We're at the brian selzer level right now. Yeah. Wow. We made it boys. That's incredible

Next step river dance. I actually we are playing the same place as his river dance. We're at river dance level Yeah, dude, we're river dance. We're trans-siberian orchestra We're the grinch stole christmas my friend. I know that Well after the lecture lie got boring Dyson told girly that he was being all but airlifted to operating rooms across the country where he would spend up to 16 hours straight performing life-saving operations on women and children specifically Who'd been injured in terrible car crashes? I mean only the most vulnerable women and children because they're softer Man are so rugged behind the wheel. Yeah, but the hazian really Stressed just how important his shit was and then he'd have to go on a fucking drop of a dime to do emergency surgery

Which is a great way to respond if you've missed the text and then you didn't read you for like you looked at it They know you've looked at it. You've now waited a day. You've meant to immediately answer But then you've waited a day all of a sudden you wake up. It's been a week Since you're supposed to text or email this person great way to say sorry I was doing emergency surgery on women and children who were in terrible car accidents Yep, the only better thing would be to superimpose your face on the rescue of baby jessica who was stuck in the well Oh, this happened. Do they still is baby jessica still in that damn? Well, I think they got her out Okay, yeah, baby jessica died of a heroin overdose

The natural death for all babies formerly stuck in a well Well oftentimes these trips would last anywhere from three days to a week But what dyson was actually doing was running cons on countless women across the country Looking to either turn the tide of aging or cure their cancer on what at what point do you say? Go to find a medical school. Yeah, go to be a doctor's assistant Do be a nurse be these things you could do how much work is it to run these cons? That's what I was thinking. This is a full-time job But you don't want any medical school

You want the best medical schools because it's not impressive to have like a degree from like Boise community college You're about to get us shot on stage by someone who went to Boise community college Because that place I've heard is wonderful. So I love Boise. I mean the best part of you're safe from somebody You went to school at Boise community college because then they turn the gun the opposite way around and they're looking through the barrel Like that's a telescope Well community college is actually a great place As it was for me as well, I would do a state university went to florida state university

I did not take one real class. I went to the number five state university in texas. So So we're not highfalutin. Okay Clear that up Well because the cons were going well the hawson coughs had a steady flow of cash So girly really didn't have reason to question the lifestyle But the one thing that did make her highly suspicious was diazins forbidden room Okay, once again as we talked about with john Wayne gasey if you can't go to every single room in the house that you live in You're married to a serial killer. It is highly dangerous. He would like he had this room

He's like you're not going there. You see no girls Love right the key is if a man wants to have a room alone He wants his man cave He has to make it so disgusting that a woman doesn't want to go in there That's you were allowed to go in right but you just don't want to smell it You don't want to see all the dorito dust on the chair You don't want to fall out of love with your husband path of least resistance Just make it good in the house make it uninhabitable to anybody with a sense of decor. Absolutely

A hazenkoff told anyone who stepped through their door that no one not even his wife Was ever Was ever allowed into that room under any circumstances But he also refused to tell anyone what was in the forbidden room or what he was doing in there all goddamn day and night I could also see it just full of diapers like in the movie the visit. Hey, uh, d Have you been tie-dying in this room? No Why are there many fluorescent spirals everywhere? Get out of my room

More than likely the people close to dies and figured it had something to do with his Quote-unquote government work because for as much of a secret as his work was supposed to be It tended to come up in conversation quite a bit interesting Well, because he's he he had to appear to be brilliant And he had to appear to be secretive and working on all of these things Like he had a way he wanted to talk about his life the way he talked about his f He had all of these things going on that you were too dumb to understand fully, right? So if I was working for the cia, let's say I spoke with them when I was in washington dc

The last time at our side story show and they recruited me to work from the inside out when it comes to the entertainment industry This is a hypothetical say that this is a hypothetical Okay, I could never say that yeah But the thing was his neighbors knew that there was strange shit going on With dies with dies and hausenkoff besides just the forbidden room Hmm see Pedro and loose to rato had lived next door to hausenkoff since 1992 And when hausenkoff met them He bowed and told them that he graduated from the university of japan when he was just 12 years old

Did you know that I graduated from the university of japan when I was just 12? That's why I learned how to bow Yes, and you see um, yes, my name is diazum, which is japanese so you can see So is that noise I make that noise quite often Wow Very japanese graduated at 12 years old you say, huh 12 years young That's what they said at the time because I was actually six. I was double six I was such a smart six-year-old that they called me 12. So technically I graduated at six, but intellectually I graduated at 12 but he followed up the university lie by telling his neighbors that alas

All of my education will go to waste Because I only have six months to live Now but the problem with that lie is Six months is a relatively short part of Amount of time He is setting up these little mini things because he truly did believe in my mind This whole situation is not going to last very long. Yeah, I think that he was already planning his his exit out of this Situation and what you can do with the six months to live thing is that you can keep pushing it

Because you could say I got a new treatment I did this thing, but this now this is another which also seems to be his whole things that he kind of wanted Sympathy. Yeah, like he really wanted people to give them that energy too It's kind of like the gypsy case with the the girl pretending to have cancer But it was really her nurse It was her mom That was the one who was trying to absorb all of this sympathy munchausen by proxy Yeah, no and this is kind of a version of that because this was the beginning of his leukemia scam

And he didn't just use it. I think sympathy was a big part of it He did love the energy and he loved that type He loved just feeling all that from people, but mostly he used it to excuse shitty behavior Like it's like, oh, I'm I know I'm been acting bad, but I've got leukemia I know I've parked across three handicapped space, but I am leukemia Triple leukemia. I believe that m&m's mother. I think that he suffered from um Um, by proxy munchausen by proxy. Really that he rapped about it once

Yeah, what if you really delve deep into the m&m lyrics? Sure. I just learned stan Really? I stan waffle house. No, this is old. No, that's already old. What no, dude. That's super old Just fucking got it. Dude. That's super old. I just understood it. No Henry the rule of the white man As soon as you know it They change it up because it's no longer cool. I'm so hyped to learn new words You're fire You you are fire my friend. Wow. So those words have just now been altered and though there's not they're not even said anymore You are such fire. I hope to bring hot dogs the next time we meet and I will make a bit of a roast hot dog dinner for my family

Well, the problem with the leukemia scam was again and again the Toronto saw the six months come and go and there's Haas and coughed Doing your work just doing just out there just doing shit. He's just still among the livin He's like literally pulling a wheelbarrow filled with concrete bags and it's like The only a sick today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys want to drink some buttermilk with me later? Yeah, so when the Toronto's finally asked him what was going on around year three Dies and kicked the can down the road again And told him that a doctor friend of his had given him an experimental leukemia treatment which gave him an extra five years

Oh, at least at least another five years. Okay. See this magic whistle Makes cancer go away with a Dr. Jethro told I did not finish the no cancer song because I have to not have cancer today. Don't you want me to not have cancer today? Please, please finish But Shut the fuck up Dyson shut the fuck up Well, you better let him finish otherwise he's gonna have cancer die. No, let him have cancer I guess I'll just go have bruises till I'm dead But despite the supposed leukemia Dyson still wanted kids and he made that desire a reality about six months

Into his marriage with girly on that day Dyson just showed up after a trip to mexico with a six month old asian child. Yep Now how the hell did that happen? Well from what Dyson told his wife the child was a mexican orphan despite the fact the child was obviously asian And would grow up to be obviously asian There was not going to be any doubt that this child was asian This is a far eastern Mexican child interested, but the truth was that the child was actually Dyson's biological son But this was all a part of another scam possibly the most bizarre and cruel scam that Dyson ever ran

Because remember Dyson believed that the two master races were the germans and the japanese That's where his name came from Dyson japanese Hassenkoff german So Dyson found a japanese woman in canada Conned her into having his baby then once the baby was born Convinced the woman that the child was suffering from a rare genetic disease and Dyson was the only person in the world Who could keep him alive? And since Dyson supposedly had the treatment

She brought the baby to mexico city handed over the infant child to Dyson Never saw him again Just outie five thousand that's from my generation. That's a term from my generation. That's very cool What about the follow-up questions any like phone call? I mean, this is still the 90s I mean We're two years away from having cell phones. She signed away the rights and also she's in canada. He's in america I mean, there's all kinds. I mean, he knows how to put up the roadblocks Also, you're just not a mother anymore. That's gotta be kind of fun

But girly was so sweet And didn't know what else to do like they she was it shows that if you just lie audaciously If you just roll with it, you just showed it with the babies like this is our son now We're doing this. I have this baby girly chew number one wanted the baby desperately and she couldn't have one So this was a half a gift But then also you have now you are now you got this baby in your hands You're gonna give this baby up to foster care

You've probably now heard enough because she's talking to ernie johnson. It's like Yeah, I don't want to give that up to cbs. They give those kids to the cia to make child porn They you know what they do. Have you seen me say johnny? Have you seen where is johnny? Have you seen she's screaming about fucking johnny gawch? Right, right, but honestly you have this child and now you have to take care of it. Yeah, and they named the kid dimitri I like the name dimitri. That's just the house and coughed is actually a pretty good name It's not a bad name You shouldn't even give your significant under a cat or anything they have a peloton machine a peloton. That's an insult

Yes, that's an insult But to give your kid to give your wife a kid like that. That's a lot of work for her Well, I said girly was against adoption. She didn't want to adopt She just she just didn't believe in it or she just didn't want to do it She wanted to try for her own We all know for a fact that orphans are dirty and they steal and they go up in the vents and they watch what you do And they they get knives. They're trying to kill you and your family. They put pinesall into the coffee when they serve with you They're never they've never been six. They're 35 years old talking about the oh that is one story

They're always like this Well, it was around this time that dyson picked up his very first Hinchman because every good con man needs a good henchman I love it This guy's name was dwayne baker and dyson hooked baker by telling him that he had somehow obtained alien technology That could be used to manipulate human genes for the purpose of extending one's life Because that's the thing about dyson is that he does not go whole hog He builds every single con that he runs is a little bit crazier and a little bit crazier because he learns from every single one

Henry you are five iq points away from being this henchman. I can just see you I'm not a good. I am not a good reliable henchman. I'm not a good reliable henchman You would have to turn it down No, henchmen have to be the b guy. I miss too many texts You know, I mean I get too stoned that i'm locked inside my home. Like i'm not a good henchman That's why you see you're a good henchman because you're a good well you're a good goon type Yeah, I know you like to call me that which is very insulting to the tall people You're a goon, but you need to have a goon in a group if you're especially if you're tiny

But if you're a krang you need to have a fucking a big goon to protect you when you're more be bopping rock study Yeah, but they're pigs. You can't just have two goons What do you mean? You can't just have two goons. You need one. You need two regular sized goons and then one gigantic goon See me. I'm I would be like kind of a like regular sized goon No, you're a guy who licks the knife and like yeah, i'm crazy goon. You are sting from dune Oh, that's where I quit u.s. Where you like you have the rafael like the size and you're like i'm the guy with daggers You're one of those henchmen. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Me demolitions guy, right? That's a goal is you gotta have a demolitions guy guy who's gonna do a lot of plastics

And then i just bomb people on the head that you bomb people on the head and you put women in big sacks And you drag them back to the lair. Yeah, like jason vorhees Yeah, remember that when he killed that woman in the sleeping bag. I do yeah, or a tiny man rides you like in mad max. Yeah master blaster, yeah, technically blaster was mentally Handicapped it disabled

So i i find this all entirely. That's you and i sit on your shoulders and i buy poke you in the eyeballs until you do food Big men have been demonized criticized Uh, hollywood has been very rude to us. It's because you keep breaking the quills You know you're right your stories You small Polish little I'm gonna pop you in the head buy your ankles. That's how it starts Well, how dyson picked up his very first henchman is he dangled a non-existent job with dyson's non-existent company

To string the guy along it's like all you gotta do is just help me out for a little while And you're gonna have a job with a company that's gonna save the world Because he says that he broke the human genome that he was the only one who had the secret Which is they were still 10 years away from getting the secret They were nowhere near breaking the human g decoding the human genome He said that you can be there. You can be one of my tech officers. You're a perfect goon for it You're a perfect goon for my dna offices. I need something to lift all the stacks of paper What makes me the perfect goon?

Oh, it's your sweet face And your big feet Yes goon, don't worry goon just follow me Oh, thank you Roast chicken goon You eat so mightily what a wonderful appetite Well thereafter baker who was six to 190 pounds, which is a perfect goon size. Sure. I mean because that's a quick goon That's a quick goon

Swender goon. Yeah. Yeah Well, he worked as dyson's bodyguard although it sounds like Baker's job was mostly to protect dyson from strangers anytime little shit shot off his mouth in public This is a shout out to my boys that run I'm sadly it's mostly boys But I'm gonna say this my shout out to the people who run various ufo community groups on the internet and in real life Okay, this is where diazian started Really getting involved in the ufo community and showing up to meetings and he

He started to kind of bully his way into creating these little clicks for himself Within the ufo community if you're a person that has ever been in a ufo group on facebook You know exactly what i'm talking about where he has created an enclave of people that essentially would make fun of And fuck with people within the ufo group. So this is where he's slowly pulling his information from He's meeting these people at these groups and saying you're like i actually have alien technology to each one bit by bit And there's something about his bdi and his beautiful hair that makes you say like if there was a guy that had it It might be you because he kind of looks like an alien just a little bit Yeah, I believe it. You know what he is. He's a troll doll with really good hair

Like if you got troll dolls have really good hair. No troll dolls hero It's all sticky and it goes straight up. I can straighten out the whole point of a troll doll is that they have good hair Well, it's not good hair. It's just with weird hair. It's fun. It's fun diamonds in their belly button and good hair Yeah, but I just have a diamond in the center of my soul. Yeah But if you straightened out a troll doll's hair and let the luxurious locks flow over their shoulders It'd be dies and hazenka. That's why I did yeah Marcus spends a couple afternoons a week straightening all this troll dolls hair Sitting there slowly combing and his caroliness being like you you okay, baby

It's like just trying to cleanse the palette from the workload this week my dear Pretty soon after dies and brought home his son dimitri He picked up a local mistress because up until now all of his mistresses were around the country But he figured why don't we go for an albuquerque gal? Her name was kimberley glass gal and she had met dies and at the supercuts where she worked as a stylist Oh That's where he was getting that haircut, huh? It's kind of hot. Yeah, you get to the supercuts man. They are consistent Supercuts cost cutters. They get the job done

It only took three haircuts for dies and to hook kimberley. Well, it's perfect because he's got great locks I mean, this is a this is a big turn on for a hairstylist hands are all up in it He loves his hair just to be kind of vaguely snip that because supercuts is great if you want to look like if a drooliquist dummy Yes, it is. Yes, it is and they started dating pretty soon after okay Well, what kimberley noticed was that dies and was actually in pretty bad shape Sometime in 1995 or 1996 dies and had become a morphine addict. Oh somewhere in there, huh? That's the 90s. This is the grunge movement. This is grunge This is the stuff that really it does kind of roll in like anybody who's been addicted to any sort of like oxy

Or or any one of these opioids there's something about it just slowly encompasses your whole life And I don't think that he even understood how deeply addicted to morphine. He was he's not a real doctor. Yeah I wonder where he got it Stole it. I guess so I guess he had to just Walked in with the nurses and tell them also he had the leukemia thing So you start you fuck with a nurse you start to like get into her own head And then you'd be like, can you get me some of this stuff because blah blah blah? I ran out of my prescription blah blah blah Right. Yeah, and he was injecting it into his pelvis his ankles and his wrists

Well, again dies and used the leukemia lie with kimberley as to why he was doing so much morphine He said he needed it to manage the pain Amazingly kimberley she bought it and she even asked this morphine addict admitted morphine addict Who just said he was a doctor to perform a physical on her 14 year old daughter? Oh, no And according to the girl dyson asked her to take off all her clothes and he just sat there and just stared at her for a little while Didn't say a word and then said all right put your clothes back on we're done Well, it could have gone worse

But still that wasn't enough for kimberley to get rid of him She even kept him around after dyson took the blood of kimberley's 10 and 12 year old sons without kimberley's permission Excuse he used he said I I've got leukemia. I'm looking for a blood don't a blood marrow donor And I've got maybe your I thought maybe your sons would be a a match, but they're not Oh, but I still have leukemia because someone took my cancer flute because they said it was quote-unquote annoying I would love to do put this guy in a sleeping bag and slam him against a tree like jason And this wasn't the only weird shit. He was doing her saying one night. He told kimberley just in casual conversation Hey, I can make your uh body disappear by dissolving you in acid. What's that?

I can make your body disappear by dissolving you in acid. Did you try the steak? Tastes weird because I have leukemia Wow No, and we hear this again and again In uh fucking murders where if you have a boyfriend that's just casually talking about murder Or casually talking about how he knows how to make a body disappear. Well to be fair get the fuck out of there Josh Powell should show you that's another story of a guy who's just bragged to everybody he met how he can make a body disappear And then what happened to his wife? She disappeared. Yeah

Most of our audience have relationships that have that conversation So no, but you know when it's a fun conversation and when it's not a fun conversation That's true because I've we've all had fun conversations about the best ways to make a body disappear I love having a fun conversation with my friends and my family. Yeah, of course and with your significant others They have to know your plans Just because they can save you from yourself Yeah, I don't know what I would do but remember there's no body. There's no crime. Mm-hmm. Well Except in this case. Yes. Well, they got they the well we'll get into why

Yeah, there it does have to be something relating to a body and oftentimes it's blood Well, even after all this shit kimberley still didn't leave him The only thing that worked was the appearance of girly chew girly showed up at supercuts one day looking terrified if still resolute and told kimberley that dyson was a married man Oh, that's so sad. That takes a lot of so she found out she found out and And said because she wanted it over and done with but she was fucking terrified Of dyson hausing coughed and she actually told kimberley do not tell him that I Contacted you because if you do he will kill me. Well during this time period

It was when he escalated the physical abuse. Yes to girly chew. He became very physical and obviously a very Terrible person terrible person. So he started Uh, physically abusing her verbally abusing her and then he started turning it up To the point where she realized I'm in danger. Yeah, damn and her fears were absolutely well founded because Dyson like when kimberley said like hey, you're married like and he Tried to lie his way out of it for a while. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about And then she he finally was like, okay. Yeah, I'm married. How did you find out?

And she wouldn't she kept girly's confidence. She said, you know what? I just heard someone told me And he's like who told you and she's like, I'm not gonna tell you and she said kimberley said that he got this like Look in his eye and he said, I think I know who it is and he figured out that it was girly and because of this He uh fucking pulled her through the house by her hair Punched her in the face multiple times pulled a dresser down on top of her Jesus and the cops did come and he was arrested

All the charges got dropped. Why and she didn't leave. I mean she it's very difficult. It's very difficult It's very very difficult to leave. Oh, she dropped the charges. Yeah, can't the cops still just be like now We're gonna go we're gonna go with it. No because she was the victim So she can and she can choose to drop the charges and she did Physical abuse cases are highly highly complex because you you love this person You love this person. You're trying to have a family with this person. You may become from because she came from very religious background And she and her family was uh like because you know, he played it up to her family as well He wrote them a three page letter describing his whole life

So well saying that I'm sorry that I didn't ask your permission to marry her number one because I know that that's old school And two here's this whole thing. I promise to take care of your daughter You brought them all in so the family's kind of rooting for you. It's it's just fucked because you're right stuck Yeah, right. Well soon after that Dyson found yet another woman to con She was a 50 year old woman from Aztec, New Mexico named Julie McGuire And she'd met Hossenkoff through an internet dating service And as it was with each successive con

Dyson upped the Annie with his backstory either because he was bored of the old ones Or because he wanted to see just how far he could take it Is he going on like psychopath meat dot com? How is he finding all of these people? I mean, it's how does any con man find anyone like you just you'd go out you you look on internet dating I guess yeah, you just start talking to people You go to places where you think that the type of person that you would want to con might go So just like do you see in every bar is just like it's a numbers game But he's not saying it like you just have to go on a lot of dates

And maybe you'll find the one he's like But also you're told at the beginning of being single like let's say he's he's going after a lot of older women You've maybe maybe your partner's died or you were married for a long time and it's over something like this You've been alone for a while or you're you're you're told for love you're looking for love Everybody is telling you the same thing you got to open your heart. You got to try new things You got to trust you've set up an internet dating service account Especially at this time on the sheer on sheer hope a rainbow of hope of the love that you'll find And what it takes is somebody who's willing to break this quote-unquote social contract like this idea of being like

You came in here because we're all supposed to be on the same page I have an ulterior motive and I can manipulate you because we're all shooting for different things But you don't know it but I do Well Dyson told McGuire that he had a bachelor's degree in biochemistry from tokyo university A master's in organo metallic chemistry from stanford A master's in genetic engineering from san francisco university and a phd from cornell Oh my concerning his heritage. He told her that his father was german and his mother was japanese But he was from switzerland and when he spoke he used a faint japanese accent. Yes, it's diazian

Oh I mean it literally sounds like a bad pro wrestling character. Yeah, whether it was like your name is the brain I am the international student Yes, exactly But at the center of his story was a private laboratory that built chromosome. Yes We have piles of chromosomes. I don't even know what to do with them I might go out to the bathroom and I'm just tripping over piles and piles of chromosomes. Really? I am chromosome rich, baby Well hazenkoff claimed that his company had discovered how to manipulate human cells to stop the aging process

On this cell we put a little hat and you'll notice this cell a little mustache What we do is we send an inspirational tape into your cells and tell them you're only as young as you feel Well, he actually said that he'd already used the technique on quite a few famous actresses Oh, really can't tell you who you can't tell you some incredibly permanently young actresses like shirley mclean Um and judy garland. She's doing very well. Yeah, but they're both pretty old. So why would they? Hmm, uh, surely mclean is 2 000 years old. Oh, she looks good, right? She looks great. You should see judy garland inside that grave Her skeleton is so white. Oh, she's so nice. It looks great Well dyson took it even further when he brought his son dimitri up to aztec for a visit

He said that dimitri was one of 12 boys engineered by the nsa and hazenkofft was in charge of one of the 12 because he had quote Level 22 security clearance. No, that is a pretty high level. Yes. It's it is higher than 21 It is not as high as 23, but I failed the hell challenge because I couldn't do the jumping jacks for 45 minutes Yeah, that doesn't seem fair. I had tiny legs weak knees. Oh, don't use the serum on my bottom half that whole thing The thing was is that the kid kept saying one word over and over again girly girly girly And when maguire asked what girly meant hazenkofft played it off perfectly by saying that girly

Was the name of the top secret nsa project that it created dimitri. Of course it was wait a second So the project was supposed to build boys 12 boys, but it was called project girly Ironic yes, no, but or is it interesting that is interesting. Yes, it's very 2019. Oh, yes It's very joining that. Well, it's to throw people off Of course because if you're looking through the files for the secret 12 boy project, you're not gonna look at your project girl You're gonna go nah Would they even tell the kids the name of the project? I think this project would be so top secret the kids don't even know They're part of a project. Yeah kiss old seems like it is a big old con

It seems like it is a big one. Yeah, you're right. It does good Well, then hazenkofft started swinging for the fences One night while he and maguire were on their way to the casino He started weaving a tale of alien invasion and secret wars fought in plain sight Is this any different than literally when Natalie and I went to Vegas last year? I'm I'm gonna say no No, he said that there was a secret base on the dark side of the moon built and operated by evil aliens And they were the ones who'd blown up the challenger space shuttle Because the real purpose of the challenger was to participate in a joint operation with the good aliens who are trying to save humanity

We are deep into the secret space program lore. Mm-hmm. This is more. I think this is more hollow moon lore Well, they you know, what have we seen? They all kind of left Yeah, I think we can just we can just umbrella it with it's bullshit. No Alternative history Well, hazenkofft said the reason why he knew all this was because he was half alien. They have alien I thought he was japanese and german. No, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, so wait. Yes, listen I know it's a lot for you to take. Well, it's just a lot. Listen. I know

I know we're trying to go to buffalo We're trying to have a good time in the casino in buffalo. I don't want to play roulette. Yeah, but I just feel I feel so comfortable with you I'm gonna reveal something about myself. Could you get less comfortable with number one? I'm a Sagittarius. So I'm sorry I'm half alien Yes, huh the top half, which is why my hands are so thin And it's a lot for me to come out to you and my main question is Will it get better?

Will it get better to be half alien in a world that doesn't respect my voting rights? Yes, I want to adopt a baby that I made For my laboratory that came from the nsa project girly that made only boys. You still have leukemia, right? Yes No, as dumb as all this shit sounds remember I mean, it is a fun car ride conversation. It's a fun car ride conversation. I'll get that. But remember this is new mexico And new mexico. I'm not I'm not Absolutely not the badmouthing new mexico

I'm just saying that when you're telling an alien story It's more likely to be believed in new mexico. New mexico is famous for their alien. It's the land of the alien Yeah, I will put arizona in there, too. Absolutely. It's right next to new mexico Anyone that likes the color topaz. Yes, and people who wear jade You will get so much, but with the solid alien storyline in the southwest Yeah, okay. Yeah And luckily for hausing coughed julie maguire Said she'd had an alien encounter. This is perfect. So, you know, I'm not wrong

It is think about this because he did it's like he took it out of her mind. Yeah, it's like he saw her Now for storyline z like he goes through his fucking bullshit He pulls the I'm a half alien. I'm 10 000 years old and he somehow knows because she's he makes a whole confession and then she looks at him me like It's amazing because I've known about their presence on planet earth and you could just see him go like Wait, I tell him like goon. Yeah, because he rolled with it. Oh, she's she rolled with it. She I don't need you to understand Goon and you just smile and I need you to do your dance. Okay. I'll smile

Here's another roast chicken you big ugly monster Oh No, he totally rolled with it because when she said I've had an alien experience. He said I know Oh my god I want to punch him in the mouth and tell it shatters and the reason why he said he knew is because he said that she had An alien implant on the bridge of her nose But thankfully it was put there by the good aliens and that implant may maguire one of the chosen few

Who'd be allowed to leave earth before the evil aliens attacked and she would therefore be taken to colorado springs And the time was right and then when she gets to colorado springs She gets put on starship and then she goes and she meets her alien assigned mate and then they go fucking space forever Do you think this alien implant's gonna help us win it roulette? When do we get to vagus? How long is this ride? Oh, no, this is not vagus. This is the navajo casino when farming to new mexico The nice one. Yeah, you get your cigarettes for $15 a carton And you you also can really experience the true history of the united states of america By seeing what we've done to the native americans on their reservations. Yeah, you don't want to go to farmington

You don't want to go to aztec. You don't want to go to these places. I would love to go. I'll go to aztec. They are Mestens I'll tell them to relax with some tapes from what I've heard. Whoa, but he was doing morphine. He was I've never been to farmington or aztec, but I have friends who have family there and they do not have Glowing reviews. Okay. Yeah, I haven't seen a lot of trip advisor things saying to come down to farmington new mexico I mean, is it possibly just your friends who did a bunch of meth at farmington? Just be like, it's a meth dad This is kind of a thing people do here. Did you just do a bunch of meth steve? All I know is a bit of guitar. It's got a hole in it, which means it can also be a hat. Well,

Maguire and hazenkoff were in fact sleeping together by this time But maguire said hazenkoff made love quote like a boy And when he ejaculated silent cummer Silent cummer make a single sound. Yeah, and I wonder what like a boy is is him just going like He he he like playing with your breasts like flopping up and down going like what does it mean? Also, how would she know? Like a radio like playing with them like dials being like all right now go up in volume as I twist your nipples And then dead silence I think like a boy means he didn't know what he was doing

He was fumbling fumbling around quite a bit fumbling around not knowing what to do with the hands or anything Okay, it's kind of fun to be the size of a boy if you're going in there because then it's kind of like she's just this This whole canvas of woman for you to explore. Maybe that is more what it was. Maybe I think that is that is something that you need to work out No, you play each part of the the woman like it's an instrument and then you're the tiny conductor Oh, god Well, the thing was that maguire wasn't in this for the relationship. She wasn't even in it for the sex No for her hazenkoff was just someone to deal with so she could get to that sweet sweet youth serum

Oh, she was in it for the youth serum But isn't that interesting how you can flip Because it's her worst aspect of herself. Yeah, right. This is a thing. They say in dune You better watch your opposition because sometimes your opposition can bring out the worst parts of you be the things that match Right, when are you done with this? When are you done with dune? He's gonna be talking about dune for as long as I'm gonna be talking about the Invisibles we've got our thing. It's no, I know that's his thing. I got my thing. We got our things You talk about wrestling. That's your thing. That's your thing and beer. I don't talk about beer. I drink beer and I talk about sports No

But what I'm saying is you're not currently reading the invisible so you it's not on the forefront of your of your frontal lobe What are you doing with the book series? I don't know. I'm in book three right now Children of dune might be the most important piece of literature ever written about religion and the nature of Fate and society. That's interesting. How many books are there in the series six The original series. I don't read the ones by a son. Yeah, I'm reading the expanse right now. It's fun sci-fi. Okay Hey, it's a lot of ideas in there. You'd like Henry. You'd like the expanse. Yeah, I can't wait to read it I will I fucking will okay, then do it But the what he's saying is that this is it's interesting because his con plays into her. She thinks she's conning him

Yeah, she's like I'll suck his dick, but they'll get his precious youth theorem And it's like, I mean, you know, he's just making love like a boy and having a great time Yeah, and I they're two goofballs and I think he could feel her trying to con him because he told her hey Hey, you're in luck. Not only can you have this youth serum? But this week 90% off Running a sale normally, this is 32,000 dollars. You're getting it for the low low price of $3,200 that's it 3199 Boom, okay

Did she see this serum? Well, was it was it just like a an old kfc bag that he would hold up and be like it's in here jingle it around He had something he was injecting her with yeah He would take her blood out And then he said he mixed it with her her blood with something and then he'd re-inject her blood back into her body Yeah, damn. Yeah, the only catch was that these injections would have to take place over a series of six years Gross, so he's like I mean he is grabbing onto this woman. He sees that there is a steady cash stream. He likes hanging out with her. She's down for all the alien shit

So he puts the hooks in he's like this is a long-term con. All right and honestly 3,200 dollars a month that You shoot one of those in every six years. You slowly build it in you hit it up once a month Yeah, you're making good cash and I guess what is a relationship other than a long-term con? That is a broken man's thought but I do understand But presumably the 3,200 dollars wasn't enough because in January of 1999

Hosinkoft called McGuire in a manufactured panic He said oh no the government has found out that I've given you the discounted youth serum And also the discount was a discount on a discount Because the real cost of the serum is 1.8 million dollars And if the government if I don't give the government 1.8 million dollars that assay is gonna kill me That's a big get that is yeah, he's in a lot of trouble. It's a lot of fake trouble Yeah, I don't think you can't just discount a government No, this is okay. I would like to see him practicing though

To discount on a discount Okay, no, it sounds like you have leukemia Okay, there's a discount on a discount. You should have that's too How do I change my voice? How do I change my voice to something that people would trust more? I don't know mr. D. I feel like it was pretty trustworthy Good every single day we have these meetings and I know that even though you do eat your fair share of pancakes I do appreciate how much you support me Thank you. Okay. He has another roast chicken

Well, this was a ridiculous amount of money to ask for especially considering how maguire's job She owned a motel in aztec new mexico. Oh, yeah, you're not gonna get 1.8 million out of this one No, you're not and since the story seemed a little fishy to maguire She asked a friend who actually worked in the nsa about the veracity of hawson cough story And the friend in the nsa said I got no fucking clue what you're talking about with this level 22 security clearance bullshit No one has level 20 the level 22 security clearance doesn't exist Can I see a picture of this guy like if I was an nsa Let me see a picture of this guy be like

This guy this guy. This is what we're doing here Listen, I'm the nsa. I could literally control his whole life if I wanted to but you know what? I'm gonna let this go because I think it's fun. Yeah But even though she debunked the nsa story She still believed that he had the youth serum and that he was possibly Half alien. I mean if it's possible Yeah, and he even added to the intrigue by saying the nsa was trying to kill dimitri Because the 12 children of project girly were becoming too advanced and this group of 12 top

And this group of 12 toddlers was poised to take over the world like it was some fucking baby geniuses reboot That's a great idea But also this sounds like a sentence I've heard five times in park slope Yeah, you know actually um our toddler is his poised to take over the world Like it's a kind of a dark reboot of the baby genius thing. That's because he was a part of the project girly Um segment and they're just gotten way too advanced. Um, yeah, madison is very advanced. I agree with that And all these stories were usually told over the phone at 3 a.m After haussing cop to down to bottle a liquor because hauss hauss is up to about a fifth a liquor a day

Madison So he is just hammer a car does not rum on dreams my friend Yeah, I mean a house they paid for with wishes dude. You got to get some fucking Some juice in it Well by this time a guard seen through the whole scam But she was still but the thing was she was still concerned for dimitri the kid right because These because she'd gone to hauss and coughs house And when she went over the house she found that the bathroom containers were just covered in blood

There's blood soaked gauze all over the counters and there's just needles sitting around the house filled with what else but more blood It's like richard chase if richard chase got an AA from fucking community college Yeah Well as far as haussing coughs physical well-being went he's covered in track marks He had a hole the size of a quarter at the bend of his right arm And dimitri covered in bruises and his rectum was all swollen up And he had a big red rash on his penis because he's just haussing coughs just not taken care of the kid He's pretty much just putting the kid was three and was still wearing diapers. Oh my goodness. He was totally

Malnourished not washed just a kid kind of living in a house and he kind of put food out for him like it was a dog Yeah, and he couldn't really like he could talk but all he would do is repeat anything you said to him Like if you asked him a question the kid just repeated it They said it was like he was programmed and when maguire gave dimitria a much needed bath She found fucking track marks between his toes because dizon had been drawing blood from his own fucking son a toddler They got to get that kid a different home This is interesting right where he did run public scams where he used people's blood and he used he will find out Why he held on to people's blood specifically in the next episode

But he kept the scam bled into his own personal life I don't know why he took the suck because I think well that kind of was that for the youth serum Well, I think that was what I was talking about earlier with like his own brilliance because I think he did believe he believed part of his scam A little bit up to a point because you have to believe in it Yeah to a point where he's like because it's like that fake it till you make it thing or it's like, yeah I am drawing all this blood in one of these days. I'm gonna figure all this stuff out for real You can think until then, you know, this will be good enough You can fake it till you make it in many different areas, but not when it comes to being a doctor

Not when it comes to medicine. No, we're flying a plane. I'm gonna put that out there Sure. Yeah, that's good As to why girly wasn't doing anything about it or why she wasn't concerned that this woman Was giving her son a bath by the time aguire came around girly was long gone See girly had started getting phone calls from women who had been conned by her husband The first phone call came from a woman who worked for the russian embassy in washington dc That's how far away he was scamming women She said dyson had scammed her and had stolen both her and her daughter's passport for some

Fucking reason don't know why puppeteer like control It's about having a hook in your life that you have to come through me If you want your passports back even though you don't want to talk to me ever again, you have to come through me Yeah, so after getting this call girly chew decided to finally see What the fuck was in the forbidden room? That wasn't really a problem by this point because dyson was so fucked up half the time that he forgot to lock the door And what girly found inside Confirmed everything she'd suspected besides just emails to other women claiming all sorts of outlandish shit

She also found a restraining order that outlined dyson's career as a scammer The order cited among other things Dyson's force of security numbers his long history of impersonating a researcher and his predilection for drawing blood For god knows what? Pretty soon after she discovered the truth Dyson made his first attempt on his wife's life He told her hey Tomorrow morning before you go to work. Why don't you head down to the Hyatt hotel?

Pick me up a menu from the restaurant Why? Just do it do it. But why would I do that? Just do it. I'm sick today and I left my cancer flute on the bus Okay, all right. All right The thing is about going down to the Hyatt that took a long drive down i-40 and girly said that she'd do it But the night before girly heard her car alarm sounding from the garage and when she walked into investigate She found Dyson squatting next to the right rear tire loosening the lug nuts on girly's car and the wheels are

leveled That's so amazing. Just leveling the wheel But this is like straight up out of like a 1980s slapstick comedy This is like who framed harry crumb when they cut the brake lines. This is like the dumbest thing ever He's not he's both technically. He's cunning, but he's not smart. Yeah Yeah, but he figured the best that this would be a great way to get rid of girly Because if she's going down the road and she happens to have a horrible car accident Then this lie that he's been telling for a decade now suddenly comes true

Wow weird That is kind of true that it's right that he finally can act then emotionally say my wife died in a car accident Mm-hmm and naturally when girly caught him trying to kill her Conflict ensued and girly escaped to a neighbor's house She actually dove under the garage door like she was fucking indiana jones to get away from it We started slamming her head against the door and then she kind of got away And she was just in a shirt and underwear and ran to her neighbors just being like save me please Geez she left him that night and by february of 1999 girly chew had a restraining order

Which dies and violated no less than three times to tell her You're gonna be dead soon and no one's gonna find your body Jesus and it was about four or five months into these threats The dies and met a woman at a david ike reptilian awareness symposium hosted by david ike by the way He was there. God. I would oh, I would love to you do not want to be there The amount of weird personalities. I think you would really No, I go as my alternate. I'll go as my alternate personality armando chavis And this woman might have made the threats that dies and was making against girly a reality

Her name was linda hinning and we'll get to her story and how she fits into the murder of girly chew on part two Oh my goodness the murder of girly chew part two coming next week. That is crazy This guy is a total lunatic. He might be one of the The weirdest scam artists we've ever covered, you know, there's some that are there's someone that we're better There were some that were more successful Uh, especially people that are like, you know, uh deep inside of our government right now Uh, that scammed their way to the very top of our legislative abilities But I also believe that diazin was a

He's special Yeah, I mean special also people just scammed their way into legislative positions through gerrymandering. Yes That's been going on for decades. This is like but it's not like a cult leader because at least elleron hubbard Like he did have an institution. No, you know, diazin understood you keep it local Keeping it local is what keeps big heat off of you when local He went he went artisanal. He went artisanal with this cult and with his scams and people around here I know people that are in the middle of like some intense drama, right? Because you either on it's kind of again focus on facebook Like people that kind of have that thing where it's an inner world of drama that's happening

They love there's people like diazin everywhere facebook killed somebody with out of a reptilian cult Two years ago except what we covered on side stories. Well, we'll talk about a little bit more next week Yeah, but it happens be aware of the cult leader that is in your life the little tiny If I can triple a cult leader be aware of this person be aware of the boutique cult leader Yep Because they slide in there because you don't really because for a second you just think they're they're like fun Yep And then as soon as you get a crock pot from a boutique place that sells dinnerware

Next thing you know, you go to return it. They're closed. Yeah, they've they've closed. This is a personal story All right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening Uh, and we are excited to see you. We will see you in detroit and columbus We can not wait finally finally last podcast has gone To detroit motor city, baby motor city and of course excited And of course, but columbus were excited to be inside of you as well So thank you all so much for supporting us. Um page seven and wizard and the bruiser live In the in los angeles december 11th at the region theater check it out and they have dates going on in the second week

Of january all through the midwest Yes, indeed. So support wizard on the bruiser and page seven go see jackie sabrowski Uh, be be the sabrowski that you want to see on stage That's right Henry. That's right Natalie gene will also be there holding mcnealy jake young you'll love the whole crew So yes, go out there and support uh whiz brew and page seven and support all the shows on last podcast network And I guess that's about it. That's all there. It is. All right, everyone. Never forget. Hail yourselves. Hail satan Okay, maghustalations everyone. Help me. Mm-hmm. I just keep my scams to myself

That's your skin. You're taking your own money. I'm inspiring myself And taking my own money. Yes, of course. Yeah, you should say I blacked out. I bought a bunch of shit That's how you do it. Yep, because then it's like you got a gift when you wake up More UFO books This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com