Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 402: JFK / Lee Harvey Oswald Part III - The Assassination

Episode Date: February 29, 2020

On this episode, we cover the assassination of John F. Kennedy from beginning to end, including all of the strange things that had to happen for the president to wind up dead that day along with more than a few busted myths. 

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left That's when the cannibalism started We are 400 episodes and you guys are gonna warm up the show like that all of a sudden We are on probably the most serious topic we have ever covered and you guys want to start by making it sounds as if you're an alien spacecraft made out of Hamburger meat. I spent all week doing work on a network sitcom. I was on Warner Brothers, and this is true I somehow hurt my throat how doing something But I can't say Watch out for Henry Zabrowski on Superstore

Plays someone who sues the company for sexual harassment I have no idea what happened. I was used as a toy. I'm sure you know what I don't understand about About the way Conspiracy theories and like historians write about Lee Harvey Oswald after the fact right where they include all the names Lee Harvey Oswald is the way it's kind of pitch. I guess it's cuz an assassin sounds more Interesting with three names. Yeah, but all the people back in the day just call me Oswald It's way better. Well Lee Oswald He led the tyranny of his own mind with the silver bullet within the rifle that failed

America's greatest hero and it's like I just did just say Lee Harvey Oswald. I don't know why I'm just I'm stuck on that Yeah, well, I mean, I think people put the Harvey in so it makes it seem as if he had a plan Welcome to the last podcast on the left I am Ben Kitzel hanging out with Marcus Parks Ivan and then we have acting super super star on Superstore Henry Zabrowski at what point do I give you so many accolades and so much applause that you begin to think I'm making fun of you It's already begun. I don't really feels like that and we don't know if I'm even gonna be honest I actually don't even know if I can even say that we have said it now Because I could be cut from the show who knows what's gonna happen, but it was nice to be with my best friend Ben Feldman

We are on to JFK part three Lee Oswald so when last we left Lee Harvey Oswald the president's Assassin was living back in Dallas apart from his wife and two children and the friend Marina was staying with had done Oswald a Favor by getting him a job at the Texas school book Depository or was it his double and was Ruth Payne and a cult member of the CIA back story I don't know just asking questions Now this job was actually perfect for Oswald because as opposed to all the other jobs He'd been fired from over the years

He didn't have to actually interact with anyone directly Because his only job was to fill book orders up on the sixth floor See that is actually a very good hiring technique if I worked or owned a Restaurant, I would say only vegetarians allowed. They're not gonna eat the meat and so if I had a book depository I'd say only people who can't read because then they're not gonna be thumbing through the books They're gonna be doing their job. You're the single worst businessman They have to be able to read it's literally the only thing that they have to do and they have to eat the meat gotta

See if the meat is spoiled. No, it's not spoiled. We assume. It's fresh until we hear other ones Well, on the other hand it might just be that Oswald wasn't in the job long enough to fuck it up Because the day that JFK's limo drove by the Texas school book depository was just a little more than a month after Oswald began working there But during this time Oswald seemed to make an attempt to turn his life around even if that attempt was brief and half-hearted Two days after getting the job of the depository Marina threw Oswald a surprise birthday party where he spent the entire night Apologizing for every bad thing he'd ever done over the course of their marriage. Hey, listen, there's a lot

I got a apologize for Marina. Obviously Lee Lee. I'm sorry. Just one second You can continue though. Yeah, I Just want to say I'm sorry number one For my biggest regret is that I ate all the gum that you bought for the house I know that you bought it for the two of us to share but I'm you know, I'm a gumhound and I'm also just I'm Real, sorry that I'm real. Sorry that I forgot that we were supposed to go to movies last Tuesday. It's a whole thing Anyway, here is your cake blow out the candles Now upon moving back to Dallas Oswald had promised Marina that he wouldn't try to kill General Edwin Walker again. I

promise Listen, I know what I want. I went out. I went to talk therapy understand It's a part of what I have to do is that it's like yes Just because other people label me small potatoes doesn't mean I need to feel like small potatoes I actually that I just need to believe and know that my own potatoes are big enough for myself And that's all that matters. So all that matters is just how big are my potatoes to me? Okay, you double dog swear that you're not gonna kill the general I Triple dog swear

Come on home, baby and besides Oswald's plan had totally backfired because Walker had become even more popular in the interim specifically because of the assassination attempt Well, he did his so afterwards. He was like I ran out there and I chased after that young taught boy I knew that if I just found my assassin I applied the secret skills I taught in general school just for late in the balls. I would get him to confess his crimes Sorry, it is interesting. Could you just give a physical description of the assassin, please in such a in like a non-sexual way? Oh, okay, um Slender of cock. I'm sorry. Let me start again

He had the most head I've seen on a tiny man And how long was it after this that a Edwin Walker got busted in a Sit in a sting for trying to buy a blowjob in a public bathroom. It was the 80s The 80s we did he did the he did the long stance and that's what he got arrested for and then he's so he solicited He asked a cop for a blowjob and gave him money and I'm pretty certain that person had a badge on Yeah, I'm pretty sure also why I you know you can kind of recognize a cop by their mouth Just feel like you got to be very aware when talking with someone trying to get a blowjob from them Yeah, they got sharp teeth little teeth

But many teeth and no lips you think the cop went as far as to start sucking his penis and then be like I Tell you this is a crime Yeah, I feel like the cock I feel like the cops should have to put their their lips on the cock Otherwise, we don't have a blowjob now. Do we we had this same conversation with the Jim Jones episode and we will continue This conversation until we are done recording Because we need to get to the bottom of this And even though Oswald did attend one of Walker's rallies He probably should have stayed as far away as possible because his trip to Mexico had finally caught him the official

Attention of the FBI with the attention on paper now They're starting to send people out again after him because we know that the CIA is Watching him not on paper because they didn't do anything on paper unless it's invisible ink or some other horseshit Involving like squirrels with memos attached to their insides, you know, just whatever kooky idea the CIA has Yes, and of course that was because you wanted to you went to the Russian embassy and the Cuban and Embassy said let me in and they said no can do they say get the fuck out of here And the man put in charge of monitoring and investigating Lee Harvey Oswald was agent James Hostey and Hostey started interviewing friends and neighbors about Oswald's activities pretty soon after Oswald returned from Mexico City

Agent Hostey did not see Oswald's potential for violence But that's mostly because everyone he talked to about Oswald Downplayed or outright didn't mention just how violent Oswald could be well It seems it seems like they were covering for them and their domestic violence They were kind of didn't want anybody in their business and you had a bunch of weird-ass Russian dissidents all hanging out mixed with several CIA assets that are also in there that are that they are Observing Lee Harvey Oswald. It's a very sticky situation. Mm-hmm When Hostey asked Marina about Oswald specifically his work on fair play for Cuba in New Orleans

She just said that he was young and didn't know what he was doing and was unlikely to pull the same shit in Dallas And instead of mentioning that her husband was physically abusive and had attempted to assassinate a public figure in Dallas earlier that year Marina just begged Hostey to not interfere with Oswald's new job at the book depository Because Oswald had been telling her for years that the reason why he was getting fired from jobs is because the FBI kept hassling him, but Hostey was forced to say The FBI's never gone and looked for Lee Harvey Oswald officially at work until now What would they even do? How would you mess how would you mess with someone who works at a book depository?

Would you just crunkle some pages in a in a Walt Whitman poem? Well, what would you how would you mess with him at his job? Just to see the FBI bust you kissal as your as you're adding all the extra goop inside the chicken McNuggets That you're serving to people This is a sting Now when Marina told Oswald about the visit from the FBI He was understandably nervous and agitated But only told Marina that if they came again

She should write down the make color and license number of the agent's car Although I'm not sure what he could have actually done with that information He liked notes and he liked data. He thought that amassing these data points would help him later on with Identifying whoever was harassing him or whatever his convoluted side story was. I do have a feeling as well He's just so dim-witted that if he felt like he was being followed by the FBI He'd take two right turns and then start following them and then he'd just be like and now see now I'm following you and then they're like this isn't how it works get out of the car and then they could just shoot him Whenever they want he needs a potted plant costume

But when the FBI came back Marina's housemate Ruth Payne just told the FBI that Oswald was an illogical person and a communist but ultimately harmless and the two women Agreed to not tell Oswald about the visit in response to that first visit though Oswald wrote two letters One was sent to the Soviet Embassy in Washington, DC Telling them of his activities in Mexico City and calling the Cuban console quote-unquote Stupid for not approving his visa. They were stupid. They were stupid You know what else was stupid the amount of empanadas I was forced to eat It was like some kind of forced competition on me and I'd kind of say I was like enough with the food enough with what you're doing here

Get away from me. I'm a little I'm already filled up my chips now I'm eating for empanadas and now I'm being all this dessert and I know you charge it for me And I don't understand this Mexican money. You can just see the civil servant who got the letter just be like put this in the wacko pile That's exactly what they did exactly what they did the other letter was dropped off at agent hosties office and instructed Hosty to stop bothering Marina and to talk directly to Oswald if he had any questions in the letter Which was destroyed after Oswald was killed was at the time dismissed as the rentings of quote some nut some

But I think it's interesting how much Evidence was destroyed There was so many pieces of evidence if you believe this a IA that they had pictures of Lee Harvey Oswald outside of the Mexican Console that they destroyed Everybody else saying they destroyed all of this paper trail of all of the people that We're having little tabs on Lee Harvey Oswald as he had his misadventures in his international Misadventures and then you start to wonder at some point when is it suspicious that you either number one were trying to absolve yourself of any sort of like we didn't stop him and we had a chance to or

Or is it some other? Paper trail where it shows some kind of involvement with Lee Harvey Oswald The problem is the lack of evidence is what makes it super fucking sketchy Mm-hmm, and don't forget coming to NBC this Saturday now. That's some nuts Sorry sir sir David Chapman and Lee Harvey Oswald I could see the Pornhub thing where it's just like trying to fill a glass That's some nut close to my Mark Summers Well because hosty completely dismissed Oswald as a harmless if still communist kook

He was suspended without pay following the assassination and was eventually transferred to the Kansas City FBI office which has a lot less prestige than the Dallas FBI office He dropped the ball if you watch that. There's that new was I think it's called the Monopoly McMillionaires It's fucking great It's great, but they talked about the head FBI guy who's a lot of fun in this series is talking about how you stationed in Jacksonville And how much it sucked because he's like nothing happens. There's no action So they all jumped on this huge story

So I can imagine what it's like sitting in Kansas City. Just being like I hope somebody steals some fucking corn today Perhaps the biggest question when it comes to Lee Harvey Oswald and the assassination of John F. Kennedy Across the board among both historians and conspiracy theorists is the question of Motivation yes, see since Lee Harvey Oswald was cut down himself by an assassin's bullet Before he got the chance to be interrogated properly We really don't have a definitive answer as to why Oswald killed the president a little too ironic Yeah, I really do think I'm sure we're gonna get to what happened there with mr. Rubenstein, but I just

But the picture of the of the sheriff just Neowing like he's in the matrix away From the sheriff you're just like wow In fact, there is no evidence that Oswald had a specific grudge toward JFK Outside of resenting him for his privilege But on the other hand that privilege was a product of the capitalist system and Oswald was a staunch Marxist so he certainly didn't have warm feelings towards JFK only in America only in America Can an Irishman be considered privileged?

He talking about JFK was enormously rich What do you mean what's wrong with being an Irishman? Yeah, what's wrong? What happened where that come from that was a Number one you're just a leprechaun He just had lunch today, so he's got a lot of energy. No, what I am saying is the Irish Historically have not been treated well, but you come to America and you can be president Yes, you will be shot, but you can be president of these great states Are you about to start though? There were actually more white slaves than black Well, the most evidence we have is a letter that Oswald wrote to Kennedy's brother Robert in 1959 from Moscow

In that letter Oswald said quote in the event of war I would kill any American who put a uniform on in defense of the American government any American even Dick Van Dyke I'll shoot the teeth out of his mouth one huge tooth at a time Have you seen that dick Van Dyke pro Bernie video? It looks like a looks like the preacher from the poultry guys to think 94 years old

For a chimney sweep. He's living pretty long. He never got any lung cancer or anything He looks like a skeleton that someone's pasted a whole bunch of teddy bears stuffing on to But specific to JFK that statement that Henry just read was not Now as we get closer to November 22nd in this timeline Motivations might become a little more clear, but as far as a definitive answer goes I'm afraid that what we're looking for died with Oswald This is why it's frustrating though, right? Yeah, well, of course There's a very interesting op-ed from the LA Times from four years ago by James Reston that talks about a

There one theory he had was that actually the true victim inside the car if we believe in the low-nut theory That the person that Lee Harvey Oswald did have motivation to kill was Connelly the governor of Texas That was in the car because in a journal that was released and during that big I think was in 2016. They released all of the soup the formerly classified files They did this big release and one of them was a journal that Lee Harvey Oswald had and And on it it said it had a list of people that he was gonna kill. It said I will kill and it said James hostie Edwin Walker Richard Nixon and then John Connelly and then next to John Connelly. He drew a dagger with blood drops

Dripping from it. That's his doodle. So it's a theory of what if he showed up to kill the governor And instead killed the president in the biggest mr. Magoo meets Like Oliver Stone bullshit that ever happened and you're accusing me of being anti Irish and you're sitting here saying oh Kennedy's head was so big It's ridiculous what you've just said Henry and I think we're gonna have to take it to the apology tour But before we get to the day itself Let's explore the background of the unfortunate victim in this whole saga to demonstrate just how many people JFK had pissed off in his first term and

Why Dallas in particular was a dangerous place for the president? It is pretty ballsy He showed up in fucking Dallas. Honestly. He was I'm not again. He's not asking for it No, but he didn't he didn't do a lot to prevent. No now the scuttlebutt over the years has been that JFK's father Joe Kennedy was wrapped up with the mob during the days of prohibition and that the mob helped JFK get elected I mean a lot of people take oh, yeah, like Joe Kennedy was he was involved with the mob people take that as fact However, there is no credible link made between the Kennedys and the Italian Mafia And it is the consensus amongst respected historians that this was indeed a myth Shade

Somewhere David Ike just got a chill down his spine respected Well these stories came mostly from former mobsters trying to sell books in their old age And in one case a story came from a 93-year-old piano tuner who said he once saw Kennedy come over to Al Capone's house For a spaghetti dinner. Wait a second. You could just have a job as a piano tuner Do piano tuner they have their own union. Yeah When was America so musical America used to have purity where people used to sit and spin yarns at each other and then sit and

Someone would play a piano and everyone would sing the standards at the time instead of everybody Sucking each other's feet playing with each other's assholes and these these big sexual parties that we have now That was just the Bill Murray Christmas special you described in both scenarios But no matter what the truth is once Kennedy got into office He appointed his brother Robert as Attorney General and instructed him to take down the mob which resulted in an 800% increase in organized crime Convictions yeah, we got to take out that mob see because mob I got a terrible series of accents The Kennedy's

All accents all right, they are something this is I'm working man I have an entire month left of these shows to work on this accent absolutely and again You're gonna want to check out Henry on Superstore We don't know if I'll make it Again, that's Convictions an 800% increase in convictions which means the increase in arrests must have been Astronomical well, you just leave a pile of spaghetti behind a dumpster and you can always get one One fucking mob

Hey, look at that. It's free spaghetti nice And then you just drop up cage on him all of our Italian listeners are like they get one more joke before we're going to the studios But I relate to our Italian listeners. I just bought four velour suits. I'm wearing my velour shirt today. Oh, wow Very warm. So I understand they got good fashion. I like the Italian people. Yeah, you're wearing nothing but Muppet now See JFK and RFK rightly believed that organized crime was a much bigger threat to America than Communism sure and they redirected the FBI accordingly. Well, unless you it depends on what you mean by the type of crime It depends on what you mean by important the mafia fucks with the government's money because they don't pay taxes That's why they're a bigger target

communists just Eat soup and form big groups. I don't know what the hell they do I didn't know what they were what was so dangerous what they were doing in America at the time that America was under a capitalism They weren't flipping they weren't owning the methods of production They were just yelling at people with homemade megaphones. The mafia weren't paying taxes. Well, we're paying taxes We're also involved in quite a few illegal activities that resulted in the death and misery of thousands. Hey, man, sometimes say some eggs They get cracked, baby

And of course the communists were responsible for the great soup shortage of 1943 And I think we need to hold them accountable for all of these starving children. They didn't get their soup at night Well, this refocus from Communism to the mafia didn't sit well with FBI director J. Edgar Hoover Any already was not sitting well with the thong he was where having fun today Well, Hoover absolutely believed that communism was the biggest threat that America had ever seen and he continued to believe that Throughout the years until he was eventually removed from the post

With that Kennedy made not one but two very powerful enemies the mafia and J. Edgar Hoover and also in the intelligence world JFK was in the process of dismantling the CIA Because he believed that they had too much power. Yep, and in doing so JFK made powerful enemy number three If you read there's a very interesting book called JFK and the unspeakable that I think that we are going to use as a main source when we start deeper and deeper into our Conspiracy episodes five and six the author James Douglas was a he's a theologian He kind of took he's a little bit in love with Kennedy and he paints him in a very very positive light But he really does break down how the CIA like

Truthfully how dangerous the CIA was at the time and how deeply Kennedy was fucking them because they had worked their way Completely inside of the the Joint Chiefs of Staff the joints the Joint Chiefs of Staff and they were the main Like in terms of intelligence They were one of the main advisors for the president for domestic and non-domestic issues And so they had a lot of control for many many years so especially at this point They were they were doing a lot of horseship they were already flipping governments in Africa and Doing a bunch of shit outside of the sea and so what what Kennedy was it's just straight up saying he pulled them out of the

White House he cut their budget He then said the terms I'm gonna rip this CIA up into a thousand pieces and throw them in the air and he said that and that Made them incredibly incredibly mad and under Alan Dulles and under Dulles the the one of the the spookiest of the Spooks They were very very there's a very very bad enemy to have yeah No one wants to be told that they're gonna be turned into confetti. No no FBI the CIA and the mafia. Yep And that's not all Extending from the CIA's animosity

JFK had also drawn the ire of Cuban exiles Because of his failure to remove Castro from power during the Bay of Pigs invasion and the Cuban exiles were all trained by the CIA and They were all here in America and heavily armed and well trained if I about this you got full-on assassination groups Operation 40 alpha 66 they were in southern United States of America. They were a mixture of wackadoos CIA trainers and just guys with guns that they had trained ready to go and invade Cuba And they were ready. They had their fucking balls full of it They're so ready to go and then JFK essentially fires all of them

And now you have these trained people that are upset with nothing to do just in Texas In Florida and Louisiana and said that whole fucking network you just have all these like straight-up guys that already are working outside the normal Bounds of the government and law enforcement that are now just do all blue balls and they got to do something with that energy Yeah, indeed. They definitely need to shoot So when it comes to him if I was his chief if I was JFK his chief of staff I'd be like you got to be friend someone just go down to a roller rink and just get yourself a group of 15-year-olds that follow you You need to have some friends in this world Ben. He did have a friend. Who the American people?

yeah Well not all of them All of those people we just listed were also Americans, but yeah, okay the American public sir the Catholics Because he's also a Catholic and yes, the president has a boss then the pope The president's got to go talk to the we'll get to all that I don't know if we can vote for this Kennedy guy Henry I think he's gonna be led by the pope. I think we got to get rid of this If this whole thing concludes with us killing Kennedy Well finally Kennedy was also

Deescalating the war in Vietnam which would have meant billions in lost profits to arms manufacturers like Lockheed Martin and chemical Manufacturers like Dow who made hundreds of thousands of tons of napalm for the government between 1965 and 1969 a lot of people made a paycheck off of Vietnam Yep, I anybody that has a full water tower of napalm I try to like be a friend to take him out to coffee drop some donuts by being like how's the napalm still still contained Great, great. We need to use that on somebody like you start to like budding up to them saying like all this Napalm just sitting here is kind of going to waste we should do something with that

There you had enemies five six seven eight nine and so on and so forth when you count all the businesses that were poised to make Billions of dollars on the deaths of over 58,000 Americans and as many as two million Vietnamese civilians Then there was the American public Kennedy's election in 1960 was among the closest in history But Kennedy pulled it off by narrowly defeating the man who served President Eisenhower as his VP for the previous eight years Richard Nixon It's cuz he was ugly

You think so? No, you know that I know No, Nixon just didn't want he didn't want to be a pussy. So you don't want to wear makeup And then he just looked like a sweating pig Shaved that day. He had five o'clock shadow. Yeah, literally thought television was a fad He looked like a man in trouble for something like he owed money to a bookie You don't want a man sweating like he has the coronavirus on a national television during your first televised debate Although interestingly enough people who listened over the radio. They said that Nixon won and Kennedy lost and then obviously vice versa When you can see that beautiful big Catholic head

But hey, that's another enemy right there and you do not want Richard Nixon as an enemy. No, he just sits in Hey, man, sometimes a small man has to sit and think because I'll tell you what I just won again Richard Nixon Lee Harvey Oswald. Nothing makes a small person more upset than never being perceived as dangerous Which then makes you have to be extra dangerous extra. Yes Well part of the reason why this election was so close was because even though JFK was a war hero with legislative experience He was as you two have already pointed out Still a Catholic Oh, yes, and some Americans did think that he'd be reporting to the Pope before reporting to the American public

Just one second here. Mr. Pope. Can you stop having sex with all those kids the president of the United States is on the line? Give me all on a minute Go you take a little on the not The but the kid not to be a you sweet. You like you don't like this. You're upset by this. That's the pope Henry is just articulating the reality of the world we live in He's a make it to come. I don't know why the pope sounds like that I don't even know if the pope was Italian at this point. I don't know the pope was alive We had a we had a pope. That's what I've been told

It was oh, it was Johnny Rockets one Love that guy great restaurant chain Well, even though Kennedy's approval ratings were at 58% when he died, which is pretty good as far as approval ratings go Absolutely, the people who didn't like him absolutely Loathed him in addition to believing that Kennedy's religion was a liability many also believed that he was a closet Communist because he didn't take a hard enough stance against Russia and the other so-called red elements here at home Well, the stuff that really fuck with him, especially on the inside was that he had a

Which was semi-secret he had a backdoor channel to Khrushchev and they were speaking to each other trying to negotiate all these various massive huge International things that they were they set up at each other And then they would kind of talk each other back and they were very very mad that he didn't want to go and stomp out All the communists in Laos and all the communists in Vietnam He they believe that any sort of coexistence was a failure versus just obliterating them There's not nearly as much money in diplomacy as there is in war God. No, no, no that does not help him at all Well, there weren't too many critics louder about JFK's supposed communist ties than the Dallas morning news Which is still the biggest newspaper in the second largest state in the Union. The Dallas morning news

It's messed up in many ways Skip Bayless. Yeah, is the worst sports commentator of all time That's where you got to start. I've got a bone to pick with Dallas morning news. Also, who wakes up early in Dallas? I grew up reading the Dallas morning news. I don't get it. It's there. It's a paper. Yeah, it's a paper The Dallas morning news printed by a starticle after by a starticle vitriolic column after vitriolic column So many that following the assassination people called up the Dallas morning news to ask them Are you fucking happy now? Because they thought that the Dallas morning news was responsible for fomenting this hatred for the president I mean to be fair. They did have the headline Kennedy assassinated, but with an exclamation mark

I thought that was a little rude Back then Texas was actually a blue state because the flip from Democrat to Republican by Racist the country over due to the passing of the Civil Rights Act had not yet occurred That was 1964 and of course Nixon's southern strategy had not yet been put into play That meant that Texas was gonna be extremely important if JFK wanted to win re-election in 1964 so in the autumn of 1963 the Administration planned what was essentially an early campaign tour consisting of five Texas cities in two days That is a lot of Texas cities in two days. Texas is freakin big every time we tour there

It's amazing how long you drive and you're still in Texas. They were ripping through it and just probably speaks to some of the Weird security lags that were happening during his trip, right? Now San Antonio Houston in Austin weren't really seen as problem cities on JFK's tour But Dallas Fort Worth with its contingent of right-wing Kennedy haters like general Walker was seen as a highly dangerous place for the president It was seen as such a risk that LBJ's planned speech for Austin was supposed to end with the line and Thank God, mr. President that you came out of Dallas alive Did he was calling it? Yeah, did LBJ scratch it though cuz he's like that's way too serious because he's not gonna come out of it alive Jesus Christ, you know LBJ well

I don't want to say that he planned the whole thing will hold in his cockpiston in the backyard of the White House But he did do that a lot and he came up with a lot of his ideas holding his own Johnson Is it planning or is it magical thinking? I don't know But JFK saw these warnings as Exaggerations saying that no president should ever be afraid to visit an American city and really JFK Was actually right at least about the specific warnings he's been given See the right-wing elements in Dallas were all talk and no action when it came to people actually in power Because right-wing extremists such as for example Timothy McVeigh are usually cowards who prey on easier targets

But Timothy McVeigh also, you know, it's sending a message is what they were doing It wasn't that's the idea is that whatever you do the explosion is supposed to do a thing that Shows shows the world that you really mean what you're trying to do, but it's still preying on innocent people Like it's that yeah, I said there's no but there's no real risk, you know They're still killing boy. How many children 23 something like that. I'm gonna say this enough And of course listen to our Oklahoma City bombing series if you want to learn more about Timothy McVeigh and all the Mistakes and just fuckery that his life was mm-hmm But that's not to say that the right-wing element didn't try to intimidate the president in preparation for the visit

One of general Walker's henchmen printed up an old West style reward poster featuring JFK's front inside profiles along with the words wanted for treason and plan to hang the posters along JFK's parade route, you know as As a country with free speech, you should be technically allowed to do this form of art, right? Okay, you are threatening the president, but at the same time you should be allowed to express themselves It's just weird how when you everybody's all getting drummed up you can feel the violence Just building in the city like just the violent thought in general is starting to get more and more intense We're seeing it now more than ever I just feel like it was a better time for the protest because you actually had to go to do not even the kinko's

I don't even know where the hell you print off a bunch of posters that say wanted for treason You know now you just send a meme you just go to the printers Yeah, but now you just send the memes you sit on your couch this guy had to get out there and find a graphic designer You had to put the plates together it's very very intense now anybody could just call the President of fucking Cheeto and then they act like they're Martin Luther King That's hashtag brave though No, when it came to that parade route the majority of JFK security was ironically placed at the beginning of the plan path at Love Field and the end where JFK was supposed to make a speech at a huge convention center called the trade mart

Hmm He really wanted to get to Love Field because all those Spread Eagle women that I guess are planted there. Yeah, I'm not sure why they named it that but it's named after a guy whose last name is love I would assume it wasn't because Because also they would just be dead and then yes Marcus our audience is smart enough to know what Henry is telling a joke. They don't actually think it's like Hugh Hefner's bizarre human garden. No, it was right actually across the street from from

pussyhole grotto Which was awful and that was a Polish cemetery because what they do is they bury them with their Butts outside of the soil because they also have a place to park their bikes. Come on You happy with yourself Henry? No I am mad I'm mad at me. I struggle all the time with the fury I have at myself Parking your bike inside of a corpse's butt, huh? What a show Now both Love Field and the trademark were places that were wide open with little cover So the Secret Service was focused on providing security for those two places

Although they probably did that because providing security in between those two places was almost impossible See the path between Love Field and the trademark was a huge circuitous trek through downtown Dallas which would allow tens of thousands of Dalasites to see the president but would also take him past hundreds of buildings and Thousands of windows and since the route was laid out in mid-November and the visit was planned for the 22nd there wasn't enough time for the Secret Service to properly secure each and every building and Definitely not each and every window. It's interesting now because when you see a president come through town as we've seen multiple times Like when Obama was in California when we were there, they shut down half of the city

Yeah, if Trump goes anywhere, they shut down half of the city. It is a colossal pain in the ass, but they are totally Overcompensating almost for what happened here. Yeah, I feel like the president's more isolated than ever before now that they have like they got the beast They got the beast stationed in various places. There's many different versions of the limo that's supposed to carry the president around It's stationed all over the country. They don't I don't think they have a lot of opportunities to go and actually touch the flesh No of the people but that's what JFK wanted He wanted to literally touch the people they when they came out of the plane when they first landed at Fort Worth The people were literally on them and they were like touching and and old school like kissing babies Which they should not have let JFK done because no that mouth was in a lot of places. Yeah, that's not good

Well besides that no American president had ever been killed at a long distance at that point in history And had never even been shot at by anything other than a pistol. We'd had three presidents die From the assassins bullet. We got we got we got the Lincoln got Lincoln Garfield and McKinley. Ah, that's right McKinley Yeah, you forget about McKinley. Don't you and Garfield was killed on a Monday? Because they it was a lot of it was up close killings right it was all in a crowd and someone just puts a gun essentially in their belly And shoots them in the chest. Yeah, and Rosa Teddy Roosevelt had also been shot and famously still gave the speech afterwards And Franklin Roosevelt was shot at but the the assassin instead hit the mayor of Chicago

Who was standing right next to him and the mayor of Chicago did die. Yeah, you know To the sun you might get shot and Reagan was shot famously as well and he lived by Hinckley and Gerald Ford was almost shot by squeaky-froam. We all forget about that one I always I don't I try not to but JFK had a credible assassination attempt in Chicago Three weeks before this they already had they had stopped a guy with guns that was on his way to kill the president and to stop So it is interesting to see how I it was in the air Yeah, I mean getting killed from a long distance. It was certainly a concern, but there was not a precedent just yet And concerning that route on November 19th

All the Dallas newspapers published a detailed map of the president's upcoming parade path to ensure that as many people as Possible could find a spot to come see the president drive by so stupid They also did the they made the same mistake with Reagan. Mm-hmm. They just they're like this is where he's gonna be if you want to shoot him Well, some people do actually think that the Dallas newspapers were Encouraging things maybe a little bit. Hmm. Maybe it was that the free ammo night I never remember that whole series they did called imagine in America without Kennedy Well, actually the day that Kennedy got there the Dallas Morning News did print a story that said welcome President Kennedy and when Kennedy saw it. He was actually like oh, wow

This is actually a nice surprise and then he found out it was sarcastic. Yeah, it was a full list of all the things that they hated him for And all the things that he done wrong, okay But who should have their interest peaked by that parade map, but Lee Harvey Oswald Oswald I mean you can they did all of the research for him, right? You know, he just had a look at it and you know in his eye in his mind He's like I'm figuring this entire parade route out Mm-hmm. It's like yeah, because they told you every single step of the way where he's gonna be I Tell you what I know is every move. I know every turn it's gonna make I know a car he's driving

And I know what he looks like I've seen a picture of him several times today. Wow, you're really good at this, huh? Yeah. Yep. Yes It's most likely that Oswald didn't even see the map until November 20th Because Oswald only bought day old newspapers because that's what he could afford day old newspapers were cheaper You get extra marinated news When it just comes out get it a couple of days afterwards so you can really let it have time to sit I'm sure sure I mean, I guess though probably plays into his idea of like being smarter than yeah If you're always reading yesterday's news, you're like a time traveler. I know what happens. I know what happened yesterday

I asked for certain the amazing thing about this was that when you go off Lee Harvey Oswald's actions between November 20th And the assassination We can surmise that he made the decision to kill the president over the course of roughly a day and a half No, it's only speculation at this point But it's quite possible the Oswald would never have even thought about killing Kennedy had the motorcade not gone Directly under his place of work. Yeah, if he had a travel he wouldn't have been able to because he was fucking broke He was stacking books in a basement He couldn't leave if he wanted to the the assassin the assassin in the assassin's target had to come to him

Yeah, he's just that lazy and I'm sure we'll get to this in the conspiracy episodes and stuff But he did just get this job Yeah This is the stuff that it drives me fucking up the wall with reading this shit because eventually you're just like man He literally just got the job at the sniper's nest Yeah, got a job it might as well have just been called the sniper's nest It comes from Ruth Payne and then the pains also have weird murky Family ties to the CIA. It doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense why there are so much so many

Coincidences around this one dude, but it's not that big of a coincidence that he got a job at the Texas School Book Depository He was a low skilled worker getting a job in downtown Dallas where there was a lot of low skilled work happening And all you got to do is have a tongue so you can lick all the books clean. I Mean you could say it's a huge gigantic wacky coincidence if you want But there are reasons behind every single thing that happened. Yes a million things had to go right for this to happen But none of them are wiggity-woogity. They all have a reason behind them Well in their own localize I see the vein Henry's conspiracy vein is popping I can already see it be very careful. I am getting a twitch

Well, we'll get into this later, but there are decisions that John F. Kennedy himself made Decisions that Kennedy himself made that made this thing happen that had nothing to do with conspiracy I think they really like me Again, it's also a matter of speculation as to his specific motivations See Oswald had gotten back into politics since his return to the u.s. Briefly involving himself with the ACLU Through Marina's friend Ruth Payne But Oswald quit the ACLU because he thought they didn't go far enough So it is possible that Oswald returned to his old belief that violence was the only way to enact change

And what he believed to be one of the biggest representations of capitalism John F. Kennedy Was about to make himself an easy target to a trained marksman like Oswald the ACLU does all this boring shit Like go to court and do everything through the system. That's really dumb. That's stupid. It takes too long I fall asleep. You know, I think it's nice just one bullet does a lot of talking for you Yeah, but we're just you know, we're the ACLU. We're trying to defend people We have a lot of we have poll taxes We want to get people of color to be able to vote next day you guys you doing poll taxes next thing You know, you're gonna allow us to you're gonna allow us to marry donkeys

It's about human beings. You guys want us to marry don't know. We don't want to marry. Why are you here exactly? I Am not sexually attracted to a donkey How nice they are I don't care what their smiles are like, I don't know how much fun we're having on the trail ride I'm not gonna marry a goddamn donkey. Mr. Oswald. Do you want to have sex with a donkey, sir? Just get out of my way. I'm going to the zoo Or the motivation could have been nothing more complicated than a desire to make himself known By killing a president Oswald was ensuring himself a place in history

Especially considering how popular JFK was at the time But this is a great example of how difficult it is to judge how serious people are when it comes to hating a politician Some people thought he was a communist. Mm-hmm Oswald said he's the Pinnacle of capitalism. Well, it's like if you're Kennedy, you're like, what am I a communist a capitalist, you know I mean, we know he's controlled by the Pope, but like what else But I wonder I mean, that's why I'm saying I That's why I'm saying it the boneheaded other motive of him trying to actually kill the governor but instead killing the president all in one go is that it

Would be perfect. Well for the low-nut Lee Harvey Oswald's like for his life to turn out like that Yeah, you be fair Oswald did not know it was assassins two for Tuesday So he didn't know he was gonna get a double shot But also why wouldn't Lee Harvey Oswald come out and say that yes I killed the president if all he wants is notoriety. He immediately said I'm a patsy. We'll get to this obviously Yeah, well, we'll definitely get to this on the next episode But I definitely have my own opinions as to why Oswald started screaming. I'm a patsy. I'm a patsy. I didn't do this I I will get into it further, but I think it was a he highly regretted what he'd done and I think

I think we can all safely say though Lee Harvey Oswald is not a patsy. He's definitely a Claire I can I see him as a Claire. I see him as a it's a Debra Honestly Well, most likely Oswald's motivation was a combination of the two but since he never got a chance to speak Thanks to a shlubby nightclub owner who was really out to prove something Oswald You mean the most important man in this story God damn Ruby He's fascinating, but fuck he ruined everything For some reason I just got totally obsessed with him this week and just stared at him listen to whatever I could and God

He sucks. He's my favorite because I'm gonna be Jack Ruby in a biopic one day. I want to play Jack Ruby I love it. It's a very funny side character who just ruined history Oswald like, you know Presidents and people like that of that stature. They do get assassinated. I know it's weird to say, but it's like it's kind of a natural revolving mechanism inside of history with Fame and power and the remora the the

Parasites attached to that right that's very classic Jack Ruby though really created the gape that allowed How complicated these conspiracy theories happen because we don't have a real but culprit all we have is a theoretical culprit he was never you never went to trial mm-hmm So on November 21st as JFK was speaking in San Antonio Oswald was most likely scouting the best vantage point to kill the president from the book Depository and eventually he settled on the far southeast corner of the sixth floor This spot in particular was chosen because Oswald would be given a 10 to 15 second view of the back of the presidential Limo which would allow for multiple shots should he need them and so with the spot chosen

Oswald asked his co-worker Buell Frazier to drop him off at Ruth Payne's house Saying he needed to pick up some curtain rods for his apartment at the boarding house But really Oswald was going to Ruth's house that night to pick up the rifle stored in Ruth's garage Which was the same rifle Oswald had used earlier that year in the attempt to kill general Walker These are my guns. I am a gun foster mom And I've been housing these Unhoused guns until I can find the proper place for the guns for a field where they can run and Well every gun needs a foster

This little gun this rifle right here unfortunately was deeply molested by That's not good. Nah But there may have been a more complicated motivation behind this visit see that night Oswald was atypically kind to Marina and the kids and he told Marina that he wanted all of them to move back in together Somewhere in Dallas But Marina was already pissed at Oswald because when she called the boarding house where he was staying a few days earlier She discovered that he'd checked himself in under another dumb-ass alias. Oh, what was it? Alacadel

Which suggests Winston peanut And all this alias business suggested the Oswald was up to the same old bullshit That had led to his first assassination attempt because remember he'd promised no kill in general Walker. No more assassination attempts I promise well, I promise that I wouldn't kill a general walk So you're gonna be good. I'm good legally pinkie swear legal pinkie square the court Lee I'm good. Lee. We have said no more assassination attempts to remember I said specifically So when Oswald made the final plea to his wife for reconciliation

Ancilliation she declined now. This is a conspeculation But a panel of three psychologists told the Warren Commission that had she said yes that night Oswald might have backed out of his plan. She still made the right decision saying no Yes, I know what's that the death of Jeff K. But if I'm Marina, no is the answer And the Warren Commission which will fucking get to We're it's almost like they're putting the blame on Marina like another sort of distancing effect Actually, the Warren Commission declined to include this in the report Intrigued mm-hmm

Now this is only one of a hundred what-if moments when it comes to the assassination Because it boggles the mind when you realize just how many small things had to fall into place For the president to wind up dead on November 22nd 1963 and I'm just talking the day of the assassination Not even all the shit that had to happen in the lead-up to the assassination Now around the same time that the Oswald's were fighting over Lee's alias in Dallas The Kennedys were having a nice dinner at their hotel in Fort Worth Horribly, this was the first event First Lady Jackie Kennedy had tagged along for since JFK had become president Oh, and they were actually having a pretty nice time. She didn't bring up the affairs on this dinner

I'm certain that they came up pretty often, but I you know, it's a big pressure trip So maybe they allowed one night. Well, let's let's pretend there's happiness here Great, but while they were dining and having a conversation with then vice president Lyndon Johnson about the intricacies of Texas politics Oswald was disassembling his rifle and slipping the pieces into a brown paper bag Along with four bullets all the bullets he had left I would love to be a fly on that wall when LBJ is like so we got some people who hate the Mexicans There's some people like the black people that we have some people who are white people at summer tall summer short This is the intricacies intricacies of Texas politics. Well, that is absolutely fascinating

I didn't realize people in Texas had legs. Yeah. Yes, indeed they do On November 22nd JFK had one hell of a day planned It would start with a talk at his hotel in Fort Worth Followed by a short flight to Lovefield in Dallas from there He'd take the motorcade to the trademark give another speech go back to the airport fly to Austin take another Motorcade and give another speech at dinner. God, I would love to hear Chris Farley describe this Like he was the way the world character He's trying to describe how you get to mr. What is it? Mr. Big? Mr. Big back to Chicago back back to the Chicago

And as the Kennedys were landing in Dallas that morning JFK Reportedly turned to Jackie and told her that they were heading into nut country that day That's what you told Marilyn too We just crossed the border It's time to get the lead out seriously get the lead out of the paint in the schools I don't like low nuts. I think you got a group all your nuts together like they did here in Dallas and make it some form Of assassination Bukaki And when Jackie showed concern her husband told her that if somebody wanted to shoot him from a window with a rifle

Nobody could stop it. So why worry? This is when you got to add everything you got to put a wall Raffle like you just got to be like That's good funny JFK was famously very fatalistic because he spent his life in a great deal of pain Yes, that's like one psychological profile of him that I was reading is that because of his back issues and that the shit that he dealt With when he was in World War two He literally lived in in horrible pain all the time And so for him that was a part of what all the the skirt chasing and all the other stuff was too is that he always Pledge to live his life every day like it's still like it's a last

So he would kind of do whatever crossed his mind all the time and he was just straight up like if they're gonna shoot me They should go ahead and do it now because my back hurts Exactly, I mean this is you can't really see it with the grainy footage But there's a bunch of oxy cotton that actually comes out of his brain Because that man was hopped up Now hours before the Kennedys landed in Dallas Lee Harvey Oswald was the first to wake up in Ruth Payne's house He went to the kitchen made himself a cup of coffee and left a hundred seventy dollars in cash on top of Marina's dresser Before taking off his wedding ring and dropping it in a porcelain cup

She'd brought with her from Russia Oswald then walked a half block over to Frazier's house Carrying the disassembled rifle in the paper bag. He brought for specifically this purpose So he could get a ride to work. I mean, I can't believe you went over to Frazier's house interrupted him when he was having a nice breakfast with miles And you know how evil I do just Frazier's ex-wife was a lot I tell you what if you spend some time in Russia You would figure out what to do with those tall salad and scrambled eggs you do Because it's difficult when you have to have the food rations and I'm already mad at you Frazier I'm already mad if you want to do a deep dive on our adult streams that we do for adult swim

The Frazier episode the Kelsey Grammer episode that we could just do an episode on Kelsey Grammer But we did it on the stream, so I'm sure you can find that somewhere as far as Frazier was concerned The package that Lee Harvey Oswald was carrying Contained the aforementioned curtain rods, so he didn't really question it But when they got to the depository Oswald quickly walked ahead of Frazier, which was strange because Oswald never did that But Oswald was kind of a weird guy anyway, so Frazier didn't really think much of it I tell you what I had that happened to me recently at an audition. Oh, that's a break. Did you get the part?

No Yeah, I could get an audition I've had not an actor though you have you ever seen Instagram getting auditions is definitely a thing to brag about Instagram is but I I had somebody It was me. I was getting into the lobby going to the elevator guy looked at me He definitely did the thing where he looked at me and then tight butt To the elevator just to get it in before getting there before me and he closed the door He hit the button to get in there before me close it. I was like what the fuck sir problem

You're gonna fucking president No, no, if oh my god, I look at that man that man has a perfect body to be a human minion Christmas is in February themed fucking great gig and the whole month of minion work. That's huge Well, what's Oswald got inside the book depository he walked up the stairs to the sixth floor Assembled his rifle hit it and started his and started his day at work as if he wasn't planning on killing the president in four hours time Unfortunately Kennedy made it easy Now it could have been hubris or it could have been JFK's cavalier attitude towards death But even though the Secret Service begged Kennedy to ride in the limo with its protective plastic covering

JFK Refused he was there on a campaign trip and there really wasn't much of a point if people couldn't see him and his pretty wife and he was viewed as an Untouchable rich boy with his super glamorous wife who was now a fashion icon became so immediately and so the idea is to He wanted to appear to be a common person and be able to connect to the common people Yeah, but you know the thing is that as a common person that kind of tips me off and maybe makes me think that person's not common is the motorcade

I am a man that flattens dough at a pizza shop. That's all I do. I'm a common person Right, right. I mean, I think that JFK might have missed the mark a little bit on that. Maybe yeah Now it seemed as if the Secret Service was gonna get their wish anyway because it had been raining in Dallas before the president's arrival But as the president landed in Lovefield the skies cleared and the Sun began to shine It's almost like God was whispering Turns out God is Protestant A big city has been told to be on its good behavior today and we're lit from Dallas Lovefield The Dallas Fort Worth area broadcasters bring you a special description of the arrival of President John F. Kennedy

At this moment three special jetliners are supposed to be in the air between Dallas and Fort Worth They were scheduled to take off a few moments ago from Carzwell Air Force Base in Fort Worth for the brief flight to Dallas Mr. Mrs. Kennedy and their official party began their Texas tour yesterday morning when they departed Washington From there they have visited Houston San Antonio then on to Fort Worth where they spent last night if time allows We'll bring you up to date on their stops at those three previous points, but right now The eyes of Texas and the nation are focused on Dallas. I do love that the newsman was just like Be on your best behavior and someone in Dallas was like all right. I guess I'll take this boot off my head stop Butt chugging this whiskey. It's a good day. I'm gonna be on my best behavior

What was going on in Dallas where this man had a preface everything like they were in kindergarten? Oh, damn it You mean to tell me we can I can't throw cornbread at the police today Well, I think I read in this book Dallas 1963 That it's fucking great. It kind of it tells the story of like what Dallas was like In the time that Kennedy came and visited and I think in the week leading up to it They were quite a few murders It's a fun place. I mean, I'm not no we love obviously we love Texas obviously Obviously, but it's a it was a tense time for the entire country

This is a very high stress point. Yeah for our global position and because JFK managed to keep in his short time as President he dealt with massive International incidents and and was a cold warrior in the mix of all this and our country was just like at each other's fucking throats We're all civil rights shit going on. It's it was a hard time It's hard time to be president would not and not an enviable position to be in very difficult As far as the president's limo went Jackie and JFK were in the backseat with the president on the right and the first lady on The left in front of them sitting in folding jump seats where Texas governor John Connelly and his wife And in front of them was a secret service agent driving and another riding on the passenger side and speaking of the secret service

Here's another little quirk of history that seemed to shape things in favor of Lee Harvey Oswald The night before the parade most of the secret service had gone out for a heavy all-night drunk in Fort Worth Yeah You imagine though just being like Henry and I are just at our local tavern And we're just being assholes and all of a sudden the secret service comes in and we're just being our normal assholes And they just start flashing their guns At some point they're just like boys. Why don't you eat as much queso as you can in front of us? You got it city boys

They uh, I don't know if it's uncommon what they did they all night drunk when they would be on tour because you know You got let off a lot of steam. It's a lot. It's a lot of attention to detail all day There was a recent scandal. I believe it was under a bomb. It was a Puerto Rico. Anyways, there's someplace I think it was Columbia. Yeah, they went out and got pretty fucked up But on that day the secret service returned around the time the Sun was coming up Oh, which means that the president's secret service detail on November 22nd was at the very least Brutally hungover they call it not still half drunk They call us the secret service because we are secretly intoxicated

Sometimes it helps your job to be brutally hungover as a comedian I have said this several times and unfortunately, and I do believe this to be true Sometimes I'm funnier when I'm hungover Yeah versus totally completely like being a good boy. Yeah I will admit sometimes some of the best shows that we've had on tour Have been when all three of us are very hungover Yeah, because you have to you have to do 110% otherwise it's all gonna fall you're just gonna fall asleep on stage It's like the way it's way Natalie keeps trying to tell me that I need to try aerials where she's like

Oh, you have to try it because you know that when you call it to the top of the ropes the fear Makes you have to be good at it. I was like I I don't know no 20-foot drop. Yeah, no, you're a ground person Never take Natalie's advice. She's athletic and strong. You just stay down Yeah, cuz she's not gonna love my attitude if I'm in a wheelchair. No, definitely not But I would say that this is a job where being hungover is probably bad idea. Yes. Yeah Furthermore JFK told the Secret Service to back off even further See usually when the president rode in an open limo Secret Service agents would ride on the running boards and the back bumper

But again JFK said that having a bunch of agents crawling all over his car would make him look less approachable Had these yeah, but it's literally yes He is overcompensating for something that already makes him 100% not approachable. Mm-hmm It's a motorcade Had these men been there any one of them could have ruined Oswald's line of sight or at the very least Could have been close enough to shield the president after the first shot and so Horribly vulnerable to any and all assassins who might want to do him harm whether they be in a building or in the crowd on

Street level JFK departed from Lovefield for a 10 mile 45 minute drive The gun metal gray limousine Blue and gray pulling away now from the French area President and Mrs. Kennedy seated on the back seat Governor and Mrs. Connolly on the second seats or jump seats and then the official driver in the Secret Service man are in the front seat and Immediately behind them another car is forming with the Secret Service are making its way through the rain puddles left by this early morning rain

and all of the other vehicles in the official motorcade are now falling in the line and The trip to downtown Dallas in the trade mark is underway And that concludes this news report from assassins news network If you want to assassinate the president, I do miss old journalist voice Mm-hmm, but I can also see like someone you know licking a sharp knife I can see someone with a bone arrow. I can see a Native American man Just getting ready to murder JF. I can just see 10 different assassins. Yeah getting ready to go after this dude

Or they're just pumping up those see I they're just pumping up the CIA guy hiding behind the grassy knoll all day You know y'all hot that must have been just hanging out underneath that that lump of grass or and you got the umbrella And you're sitting there waiting for and going got you opening it up Good Lord now prior to the book depository JFK's parade was actually a wild success JFK's political instincts had been correct even if his safety instincts weren't an Ugliest incident involved a man holding a sign that said quote. I hold you JFK and your blind Socialism in complete contempt, which is a lot for a poster And now he actually did at a couple of points like get out of the car go like there were a bunch of kids that held up a

Sign that said like kids for Kennedy and he went out and he shook their hands. Oh my god with any luck He was like, thank you CIA. How'd you know these this is a pedophile ring? But you know JFK was like oh kids for Kennedy, I didn't know we were doing this out in the open These are for me This is great. Interesting. You also saw a pack of fucking nuns that he said hello to mm-hmm. That's fine. That's fine He's fucking Catholic Oh, it's just a group a pack of fucking nuns Just a group of old nuns. You know a a group of nuns is actually called a scorch of nuns

Then came the corner of Maine in Houston the book depository and Lee Harvey Oswald Ironically this was the point in the trip in which everyone figured the president was safe Because just a little over a hundred people were gathered in and around Dealey Plaza All they had to do was drive underneath the Stimmins freeway, and then they'd be on their way to the trademark And since the crowd had thinned out the televised coverage of the event had ended a few blocks earlier Luckily though as the president neared a clothing manufacturer named Abraham Zapp Ruder Got up on a concrete pedestal so he could film the president driving past

And as the president turned on Houston Street Oswald was on the sixth floor Rifle in hand and waiting for the president to turn down Elm Street in another stroke of luck It just so happened that JFK was driving past the depository during lunch time Which meant that the sixth floor was cleared out apart from Oswald and his rifle None of this was on purpose. None of this was orchestrated by the CIA and I know obviously it wasn't but still It's just like damn it wasn't I mean it was a parade route for fuck's sake The CIA didn't make the parade route nor did the CIA decide when fucking lunchtime is have you ever seen the CIA

Float and lunchtime are great. Have you ever seen if you ever heard of those guys? They were first of all incredible what they could get together at a small period of time They could make a gigantic a goldfish ball made of paper mache filled with explosives Now one of the big questions people have is why Oswald didn't take the shot on JFK While he was driving down Houston Street Directly in front of Lee Harvey Oswald Which would have given Oswald a straight shot toward the president and would have arguably been easier But the answer is simple

remember even with the dishonorable discharge Oswald was still a trained Marine and he knew that taking the shot with JFK coming directly toward him would have immediately Exposed his position to the Secret Service And even so people did see Oswald with the rifle through the sixth floor window But it never crossed their mind that he was an assassin Instead they thought that he was a Secret Service agent there to protect the president which the Secret Service does They do post snipers. Yeah all the fucking time and of course who saw Oswald up there It's like actually one of the people who saw him

He turned to his wife and said hey you want to see a Secret Service agent right up there. No kidding Mm-hmm So after the limo turned on Elm and both the president's back and the backs of the Secret Service agents were facing the Depository Oswald slid the barrel of his rifle through the open window and took aim and in one of history's most famous lines Governor Connelly's wife turned around to JFK and said mr. President. You can't say Dallas doesn't love you Now concerning Oswald's rifle and how accurate it was supposed to be We actually got some rare positive feedback from a gun owning listener named Craig. Thank you Craig. Thank you arms Craig He said that the accuracy criticism of the carbono rifle is actually a myth

Because the people who said the rifle was inaccurate were using the wrong size bullets See most people in America who bought Italian surplus carbonos like Oswald did made their own bullets What? It's a different time buddy. No, my dad made bullets all the time when I was a kid It's a common among hunters and yeah gun enthusiasts making both making your own bullets is a fun and easy and cheap way to keep yourself Armed are you telling me that wasn't a different time? Are you still eight years old? Are we doing this as children or are you regretting? It was a different time. Is this like in the line of fire when what's his name made the gun out of wood? That was a cool movie. No you make your own bullets you buy the shell casings you buy the pellets you buy the gunpowder

And you make it yourself. Yeah, it's when you go to the store that allows you to do everything the hard way So you no longer have to talk to your family Artisanal bullets However the American standard and the Italian standard for the type of bullet used in this type of rifle Were ever so slightly different the Italian one had a little clown's nose on it It's one of those bunga bunga bullets Oh, the bunga bunga room. I forgot about the bunga bunga girl. I believe he's still in jail The American standard for this type of rifle is point zero two inches smaller than the Italian

Which doesn't sound like a whole lot, but when it comes to bullets firing out of a gun that small difference Completely fucks up the bullets trajectory. Is this your pillow talk for Carolina? No, I'm not a gun guy. I'm going off of what Craig the gun-owning listener said Lee Harvey Oswald most likely bought Italian surplus bullets along with his Italian surplus rifle Giving the carcano excellent ballistic co-efficiency, which means the bullet doesn't drop too much great sectional density, which means the mass is distributed well and Very little kickback after each shot Oh, you can just hear the erections of all the gun nuts that listen to us

Furthermore Oswald had been trained in the Marines to hit targets from two three 400 yards away using nothing but fixed iron sights and he was able to do it well according to the records On November 22nd, however, his target was no more than a hundred yards away And Oswald had the added advantage of a scoped rifle What all this adds up to is that Lee Harvey Oswald perched in a stable sniper's nest with a deadly and accurate Rifle a clear line of sight and training from the United States Marines was well within means to murder the president There's a lot of people that also have run these tests right to try to say that this was it would be

Difficult to do and yes, he was not a GI Joe like he is not the ultimate super soldier And it would be difficult to do right in moments of stress Like when you were doing something that means quote-unquote a lot to you, right? I think look at Bobby Bernier. Yeah, I was gonna say actually Henry This would be a good time to do a sports reference because they're under a lot of stress They have to achieve in in moments of very quick moments He's got to hit the ball, right? Do you have a Bobby Bonilla like what was the moment of stress where he had to hit the ball? Do you recall what you did Bobby Bonilla play for the New York Mets? He knew the Mets

But it was something it was like the 12th inning and it was a Thanksgiving Day game. I don't remember But the idea is that sometimes with all the stress and all but also the momentum of the of the feeling of the moment You can rise to the occasion and make almost like a buzzer beater shot and kill the president He definitely that no, I mean the stress changes a lot of things Mm-hmm, but even so Oswald's first shot missed The bullet hit a limb on a big oak tree in front of the book depository It fragmented struck a street curb and sent a concrete chip flying Which hit a man named James Tague in the cheek you say missed. I say brilliantly hit a man in the cheek

Now at this point the driver should have gunned it But nobody thought that the noise they just heard was a gunshot Everyone from Jackie Kennedy to the people in the crowd thought that a car had backfired somewhere So when Oswald saw that he hadn't hit anything he pulled back the bolt ejected his first bullet and loaded the second in one fluid motion the same motion he'd been practicing Over and over on his front porch for months Gotta put your hours in that's that Joe's you know wanted to learn lessons from him But practice is very important. It is you know, but with Lee Harvey Oswald

I would say this is the realization of that quote about luck. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Whoa Mark is what it is cold. He went there. I went there and I also live my life by that motto. Okay. Oh 2.7 seconds after the first shot Oswald aimed for JFK's head and took the second This one struck Kennedy in the upper back just to the right of his spine. It then exited at a downward angle at his lower throat continued into Governor Connolly's back Exited Connolly's chest hit his wrist and lodged in his thigh This was the so-called magic bullet in a bit of misinformation that was Unfortunately taken as fact because of Oliver Stone's JFK movie conspiracy theorists claim that in order for the bullet to do all that

Damage it would have had to stop in mid-air and change direction to hit both men in all the places it did But again, these people are going off assumptions They assume that Governor Connolly was sitting directly in front of JFK in a seat at the exact same height as the president however Connolly and his wife were sitting in folding jump seats that were not a permanent part of the presidential limousine Which you know that was even mentioned in the local news report that we heard earlier That they were sitting in a little baby chairs. Yeah Mm-hmm that meant that the governor was sitting lower than the president and slightly left of his center

Furthermore, the governor was turned around in his seat facing the president. This actually helps prove that Oswald fired this shot Because from a trajectory standpoint the second bullet to hit JFK could have only come from the book Depository Furthermore this bullet actually did exactly what it was designed to do Because it was army surplus this bullet was encased in a full-metal jacket See before the Geneva Convention of 1922 Bullets were designed to enter the body and bounce around internally doing as much damage as possible or Fragment once they entered or like or or they were soft, right?

And they would get stick into the body and and lodge and become incredibly infected The oldy olden time especially during the Civil War was more often for you to die of infection than from blood loss or anything like that The old pinball bullet. Yeah, the point was to kill the other person But full-metal jacket bullets are designed to pass through bodies whole and only wound their targets Which takes them off the battlefields But has a less chance to be fatal and this was exactly the type of bullet used by Lee Harvey Oswald Then as Governor Connolly sat bleeding screaming that they were gonna kill them all and as JFK sat bleeding out at the very least Already paralyzed. Oh

The third shot came and struck JFK directly in the head the right rear side of his skull Exploded sending skull fragments blood and brain matter Several feet into the air Covering Jackie Kennedy's face and clothing in gore between shot one and shot three 8.4 seconds had elapsed, but where did that third shot come from Marcus? Hold on let me listen to we didn't start the fire There's a lot to say there's still a lot to say oh, yeah Now Jackie

Understandably panicked she turned around kneeled on the limo seat and reached back towards the trunk of the car To try and retrieve a piece of her husband's skull that had been blown off by the exit wound It's like when I drop a beer and then I go down to the ground and I try to put the beer back into the can But it doesn't go back in the can number one. Nothing like that number two That is so sad. Are you just getting on your knees and sucking? No, but this scene I know we're very desensitized as a people but this scene still breaks my heart is off. It's so sad Talk about what a they talk about the trauma that came out of this moment And I think a lot of the the the trauma that came out of the assassination of JFK

Was a bunch of people that have never been to war that the closest thing that they had seen to anything Like I mean honestly the movie psycho I'm not sure when the movie psycho came out But that was like a one of the thirst moments of true brutal on-screen violence So people really hadn't seen a lot of violence But then you start watching the Sepruder film over and over and over again if you're a proper Podcaster you're watching it every time you wake up and the the violence of his head fucking exploding is

Shocking it is especially for the time period you watch the whole chunk of the side of his head just flop open And everybody just covered in brain matter in a way, you know, like I love seeing it in a movie I applaud when I see it in a movie now, but yes, we are deeply desensitized to what that meant to a 1963 audience like just watching brain matter gets splattered everywhere Well, the Sepruder film wasn't seen in public until 1970 if Tom Savini if Tom Savini created that special effect We would all be like that's nominated. That's that's Oscar contention for special effects But the fact that Savini had nothing to do with it my god Well as Jackie Kennedy was crawling back towards her husband's brain matter

Secret service agent Clint Hill lunged forward and pushed the first lady back into the limo This action probably saved the day from being even more tragic because had Jackie not been secure when the limo finally sped off She most likely would have tumbled to the ground and been run over by the car behind them Now concerning why JFK jerks backwards upon being hit by the third bullet despite the shot coming from behind What we're actually seeing in the Sepruder film is three different scientific Processes working together to create one seemingly incongruous action. Oh, yeah, chill Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's such a shilly business Oh, I don't take vaccinations

Because science more like You're lying to me it's lions I forget first when the bullet destroyed the cortex in JFK's brain It caused a neuromuscular spasm which made his body stiffen and contract upward into the rear or as Jim Garrison So famously put it Back into the left. There is a technical term for what happens to JFK's body when he gets shot through the back It's a nerve reaction that caused the hands to shoot up a Kimbo to his body and you see the palms touch Underneath his chin if you watch this as a Pruder film you see him do this and there's a moment where you see

Jackie try to push his arm down when she doesn't realize the second shots gonna come or the head shots gonna come She's trying to push his arm down and you see them kind of snap back up Yeah, that's how we know that JFK even if he would have survived this He would have been paralyzed for the rest of his life and if you want to let us know a little bit of insight on that side story It's LP otl at gmail.com and shoot us an email and Henry and I Henry and I will talk about it on Second JFK as Henry said lived with excruciating back pain every day of his life owing to an injury He suffered in World War two because of this He was wearing a back brace when he was shot, which is what kept JFK from falling forward

And third perhaps most gruesomely the backwards motion comes from the bullet Exploding out of JFK's skull When the right side of his head essentially burst from the exit wound the kinetic energy thrust his head Backward which makes it seem as if the bullet comes from JFK's right and of course What was to JFK's right, but the infamous grassy knoll The grassy knoll And I will say it's a it's a cute spot We went we had a chance to go there when we were in Dallas and we're gonna be in Texas again for our book tour

Cannot wait to see you all there. Mm-hmm, and he just fascinating to think about what happened in that area as cars just drive by It's I mean, there's no I don't mark the spot But it's just Marcus and I ran in and out of traffic to get our fun little tourist pictures over there That does it does seem to make people upset. Yeah, no I had I had enough respect for the commuters of Texas to look at it. So I huh No, we did the yata Faces in front of the X yeah But even though the Secret Service knew that the president was far beyond saving they still had to try

So the limo drove at a speed of 80 miles per hour to nearby Parkland Hospital Meanwhile news of the shooting had already broke Here's a clip from local station KLIF reporting what they already knew even before the president was declared dead Houston the old There's something about newscasts of that time that makes it seem like he's also covering like the world's biggest cotton candy ball It's the same intensity for everything. Yeah, there's no like no like sense of humor of human ingenuity It's an entire home. It built in the shape of a shoe People can live inside of it. It's absolutely incredible. Oh, how it must stink

Meanwhile as the limo sped toward Parkland Jackie Kennedy was living in absolute nightmare Blood was pooling in the footwells of the limo's floor and Jackie was trying over and over To hold down the top of her husband's head with one hand while she held his brains in the other. Oh God, that's so sad. Yep. Finally 10 minutes after the shooting they arrived at Parkland But Jackie wouldn't let her husband go telling the Secret Service. They knew he was dead So what the fuck was the point and when they finally got him to the trauma room? They found that she was almost right He had no blood pressure and wasn't breathing, but there was still the faintest heart beat So doctors did the best they could to try to save the president

Meanwhile the shocked and presumably still hung over Secret Service agents put a hard top on the limo to prevent pictures and Began washing blood and brain out of the backseat with a sponge and a bucket of water Well, everybody's screaming at them essentially saying you're ruining evidence You're ruining the crime scene while you're doing this, but they were so worried about people taking pictures Into the cab and for some kind of exploitive newspaper so that they covered everything up or was something else afoot It's hard enough to be hung over at work You want to get you you always feel mildly nauseous You know that's always kind of in the back of your throat and then just look at all that blank brain matter and blood it must

uh While they were doing that Jackie Kennedy made her way into the trauma room and nudged one of the doctors when he turned around He saw that Jackie was holding part of the president's brain Cupped in her hands. Oh how insane that must have been to turn around you see Jackie Oh spattered him blood with a pillbox hat on with a handful of brains in her hands completely in shock She handed it to the doctor Possibly thinking they could put it back in his fucking head somehow. She had she had no clue Of course, she was totally in shock. Yeah, but it was far too late at 1 p.m. On November 22nd

1963 John Fitzgerald Kennedy was declared dead and when a nurse offered to help Jackie wash some of the gore from her pink dress She defiantly refused saying that she wanted the world to see what Dallas had done to her husband One hour and 38 minutes later She was standing next to Lyndon Johnson on Air Force one at LBJ's Insistence as he was sworn in as the 36th president of the United States we got a very interesting listener email from a A series of interviews they did with the pilot of Air Force one during the time period and they said LBJ and his crew came in Essentially laughing and celebrating about what was going on and demanded to go to Washington right then

Saying they wanted to go get sleep. They basically wanted to get on the road to getting back to Washington LBJ is president the Air Force one said no, I came in here with JFK I'm leaving with JFK and they had to go and remove a bunch of seats and put him in there. I think literally Swore him in right next to his body in the same airplane and if you want to see the picture It tells a million stories. Mm-hmm. Yeah, LBJ's reaction was less than mournful Well, LBJ couldn't stand JFK. No, he hated JFK Yeah, they ran a very contentious primary against each other and the reason that he was the VP was to get Texas Mm-hmm. So it's and there was also talk to this is where all that this is where you love to say queeque bono

Conspiracies, but those to me seem they hold a little bit of water given his like lack of concern Well LBJ was also planning on running against JFK in the 1964 election. He was gonna break the ticket early I mean, that's what they hated the rumors. Yeah, they absolutely Despised each other. You know, so remember JFK literally could done anything if he lived He could he literally could have taken his shit in a bucket and said I have a new general He's like who knows we could have went insane, you know, he's you know anything could happen to that year Yeah, and when a group of Dallas businessmen worried about the effect the assassination will have on commerce in the city later Contacted Jackie Kennedy asking her to sign a testimonial to Dallas

Hospitality. Oh, yeah, seriously, she declined to respond. No shit Meanwhile Lee Harvey Oswald was on the run and that's where we'll pick back up for part four of JFK with the capture and eventual assassination of Lee Harvey Oswald at the hands of nightclub owner Jack Ruby Oswald Oswald. Wow. Awesome. Well, that is yeah I mean not awesome what happened, but it's unbelievable Unbelievable true American story. Yeah, so we are now. This is the midpoint and for six-part series It's gonna be six looking like it has to be where we're telling the story as thoroughly as we can with the quote-unquote Facts that we have so right now quote-unquote facts. We're talking. We're doing it quite a few actual facts

Oh, these next three episodes are gonna be a lot of me I just feel like I'm 10 years old and my older brother is like I want to suck dick and then my dad is like Have we thought about Jesus today? And I'm just like mom. This is really good quiche I'm very excited because I'm already I'm already upset. No, I can I can see I can see the fight that is I'm going to desperately try to tamp down We need to keep on doing the show. We have a contract now for a lot of mutual respect. Yeah Yeah, we are I'm gonna to dog meets Kennedy. I am cruise chef who understands that we have to Create a back channel to communicate but on the public we have to remain true to our on-the-surface

Idealty the cruise chef of podcasting, huh? All right. I like it. I'll take the Kennedy if I actually no I won't take the I don't want that. No, no, no Don't do that. I don't want that at all. Don't do that at all as a matter of fact be the Jimmy Carter of podcasting No, I don't want to be the Jimmy Carter. He's great. No, you know, you know Peace between the the Israel and Palestine You don't like getting up early and you're terrible at building shit. You would never be able to build a house Freakin peanut farmer. All I do is eat peanuts

You eat you're a peanut eater But guess what you know who you know who Marcus could definitely be the Hillary Clinton of podcasts now that she gets to be She's having her own podcast soon. She will be fun. All right. Well, we can't bend it just a Peanuts are they grown above ground or below ground peanuts are a legume and they are actually grown below ground. Oh, very good Very good. I'm surprised. Of course. Do you think there's peanut trees? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you'll give him any respect for this This is all information that comes from a bathroom reader That is

Everyone thank you all so much for listening to this episode of last podcast on the left again You can email side stories LP otl at gmail.com. Let us know if you have any insight Into what we're discussing, please So we always are interested to learn more and keep on supporting all the shows here on LPN We have our tour coming up for our book tour in April. We cannot wait We are super excited to go see you all there The big thing is want some we want just a couple more butts and beacon theater in New York City It's our first show of the tour. Yes

Come on out and surprise like common support us when we are at our hugest venue and at our loosest We will have just tried to do the show once it will it will be a some so it's going to be a fun-ass experiment So please come see us in this Yeah, it's technically high pressure, but like Lee Harvey Oswald. We hope to rise to the occasion Also this next month. I have some shows coming up for I'm screening my documentary hail yourself America in March 9th They'll be in Syracuse March 10th Albany March 11th, Manchester March 15th, Orlando March 22nd, Columbus and March 29th, Kansas City And don't forget to of course go out and support no dogs in space We just finished our Stooges series and this week we started our series on suicide

Which is the band that recorded my favorite album in the entire world They got a great story even if Suicide's music isn't your cup of tea. They've still got a fantastic fucking story So yeah, go check out no dogs in space. Yeah, turns out they all died at the end Yes, and keep on supporting all the shows here on the last podcast network. I buy our book April 7th is the day it comes out and go to an independent bookstore and do it Support your indie bookstore like Barnes & Noble Super independent strange, but honestly if you're gonna buy it buy it from Barnes and Noble comm because that would helps us out the most or Order it at your local bookstore and and when we are on the road a part of what we're gonna do is

Stop at local bookstores and sign books and leave them So if you're worried about sign bookstores the goal is that everywhere we go? We're gonna hit up a bookstore and try to sign as many as we can So like crazy weird bandits that just leave our signature everywhere. I love it Maybe in Dallas. Maybe is the book depository still there. Yeah, it's still there. I mean it's a museum now Yeah Thank you so much for listening. Hail yourselves Hail Satan. Okay, Magusta legends Hell me with cat Henry. So what was the role on Superstore that you did? It was a more of a bagel than a roll

Who needs cigars when you got humor like that Wow Wow, I played a pedophile Is that right? No, it's Superstore that was nice kind show this show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to the last podcast network.com