Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 404: JFK Part V / The Conspiracy Part I - Snarlin' Arlen

Episode Date: March 21, 2020

On the first part of the conspiracy section of our series on the assassination of JFK, we explore exactly how the Warren Commission created an entire cottage industry of conspiracy and begin our journey into who besides Oswald had motive to kill the president.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started Can you imagine young Tommy Hinkle-Dinkle? He just went down to daily plus and all he wanted to do is see the president right right now He's like, oh mama daddy. Do I get to see the president today? You're like yes, yes Tommy we do and Tommy gets to go and he sees all the glit and limos and stuff And he's like this just simply the most amazing thing on our face to the planet and he looks over and he sees the It's like what is the lovely little lawn I can go hang out on this the night

There's nothing it seemed to be it seemed to be pretty deserted a lot of room a lot of room for me to see the president Well, oh, mr. Police officer. What do you want? The name is beige man? They may younger bear Okay, yeah, have you ever held a Raphael before young boy? Well, no, I never have done before Well, he is your first chance here. He'll go to this right here. Oh This is simply amazing the power Boba And Henry Zabrowski I gotta say if the person who killed JFK had the last name Hinkle-Dinkle

We would still be laughing today about it because What mr. Hink and mr. Hinkle-Dinkle you killed the president I wanted a wave I wanted a wave and see Jackie's hand. No Jackie's hand. He's all covered in brains. Oh my goodness. That's not right Okay, everyone. We are on to part five of our JFK series This episode is the descent into the conspiracy world that basically we currently live in so let's get into how we got here Think about this Marcus and I have sat for the last I don't know 120 hours tomorrow night

I'm consuming JFK assassination information. This is real information that we're about to go through today This is what we're doing is we're setting we're spreading the lap of Conspiracy theory so that we can really get up on the pubic mound of the truth here, right? This is very very important and you think I mean like because what perfect times it's not like things are super paranoid right now So there's a lot of pressure in society like this isn't some kind of like weird crux for all of us and I wonder if finally now We'll have the true motive to get to the bottom of this. Kissel So we're in the pubes of the JFK story. Yeah, that's right

You know, it's only information you can get here at the last podcast on the left that brings up a very intelligent Script that you wrote Marcus. Thank you unbelievably smart. Thank you. We're gonna learn a lot, but we did preface it with we're all in the pubes now We're just little crabs on the shaft something of the truth. Oh JFK part four we placed much of the blame for the birth of the JFK conspiracy movement and hence the modern conspiracy movement at large on The shoulders of Jack Ruby sparky Rubenstein. Oh, but Ruby was merely the catalyst When it comes to the government completely and totally botching a response that was supposed to introduce certainty in times of confusion It's hard to find an investigative body more inept than the Warren Commission I'd call them they're like the the the hex men. This is the worst

Superteam ever put together. Why is it when the government tries to clarify things things get more confusing things get worse Yeah, but for those of you unfamiliar at the Warren Commission was supposed to be the investigation that gave the American people a clear Explanation for exactly how the president wound up dead in the streets of Dallas But the Commission itself from its formation to its investigation to its conclusions can be looked at a few different ways Although you would be hard-pressed to find someone who looks at it as competent in any way whatsoever Hey, if you're a guy that measures how many chairs a bunch of old men can sit in it was a hundred percent Because one of the raisin II fucking butt cheeks was always in a chair This is where we all get to channel our inner Bill Cooper. Yeah, because it's correct to question the government in this case

Now if you're going from the conspiracy angle You say that the Warren Commission was part of the cover-up and controlling the investigation The government was able to hide any embarrassing or more importantly Implicating evidence. Yeah, man The other way to look at it is that the Warren Commission was criminally understaffed and overworked and the time constraints put on the junior and senior Council made it impossible for them to do the job properly Oh, it's maybe how I like how I fucked up putting together all of the bureaus from Ikea that we had purchased for our home And then I got asked to never do them again. Yes, Henry the death of JFK an American president is similar to you

Fucking up on making furniture Very similar. I agree but Then being criminally understaffed and overworked introduces a third possibility There's also the possibility that the Warren Commission was designed to be incompetent But the problem with covering up the truth this way if that is indeed the case is that it had an unintended consequence in Underestimating the American public's curiosity and intelligence, but mostly their curiosity The government very well could have helped to create modern conspiracy thought which ultimately

Has helped to slowly erode the American people's faith in the government Hmm shooting themselves in the fucking foot, right, right? Well because they couldn't properly figure out an answer And I'm starting to think and I am of the minds because Marcus and I going deeper and deeper deeper into the Warren Commission I I am really leading on this theory that it was made to be shabby So that it would get the job done They would put it all on Lee Harvey Oswald and it would be over quote-unquote to them saying we've already done my We've already we've done our jobs by just fucking closing the doors But what they found what you really find out is that the reason why you make it so

shitty you make the investigation so shallow because as soon as you start opening Some of these doors taking the lids off some of these boxes You are gonna find yourself in really hot water with with these foot with covert ops Right all these kind of all these like a world of spooks that if you Expose them you'll never be invited on the inside ever again, and that's how you get shit done quote-unquote In American politics is that they say oh you got to do it from the inside So they pretend like they're altruistic by covering up for these covert ops that are covering up for the true intentions of our government's machinations in other countries or could it be

Judging by my experience when I go to the DMV and judging by my experience every time I talked to a traffic cop that these government employees are just completely incompetent and they accidentally Messed up our nation forever similar to when I took my ACT's and I had a donut smudge on it And I literally handed it and hung over be like I think I nailed it I think I did a pretty good job, and then it came back, and it was like you killed JFK Well, did you get like recruited by the CIA from that because he's the ultimate distraction Unfortunately, Will Smith's character in men in black had other skills other than being annoying and loud

So that's why he was able to hunt the aliens made it look good. Yeah, you did well Not everybody involved in the Warren Commission was a government employee a lot of the people involved in the Warren Commission and the Junior and senior council were brought in from outside like they were all lawyers Oh, but before we truly dig into the world of JFK conspiracy Particularly when it comes to the involvement of the CIA, let's examine exactly why how and to what extent the Warren Commission Shat America's bed Just think about the universal seer the universal studios the globe looks like it's covered in human shit Yeah, how appropriate for a government for them to outsource bedshitting

So since Lee Harvey Oswald was unfortunately killed by the idiot Jack Ruby not too long after being arrested The American public was robbed of a trial that would have hopefully laid out the facts concerning the president's assassin in a clear manner Since a conventional trial was no longer a possibility President Lyndon Johnson appointed a commission to quote Assertain evaluate and report on the facts of the assassination through a supposedly far-reaching investigation This got kicked off like three days after the assassination, right? Like this was very very soon right after Lee Harvey Oswald was shot. They jumped on this Mm-hmm, and LBJ he would appoint all commissions literally by taking out his penis. Yes. I'm talking about it again

Directing it at a group of people and letting them know that they are now at the Warren Commission You're just like very very curious slash interested in all of the mythical huge penises of the past It's Milton Burl The Commission was supposed to be an opportunity for the American public to hear the truth and dispel the many rumors swirling about as to Who was ultimately responsible and it was supposed to be done in an expedient manner But as each and every member of the Commission was about to discover when the rock of the JFK assassination was overturned There was far more information Conflicting accounts and just plain weird shit than they were prepared to deal with and I find this to be the same right now

Because one thing is it been interesting of this saga right now. We've been doing this for almost a month and a half I've been deep fucking up to the middle of my head Which is where my hairline is I have been up to there in Assassination nation right I'm the I'm a I'm a senator in a fascination as an assassination nation still can't spell assassin though Even though I've seen it a thousand times, but it really does continue to be very eerie and very interesting There's so much conflicting bullshit. There is there's so much like kind of I'm not gonna say dark I'm gonna use term dark magic sure deep inside of this story that every single time you see like all every witness is Wrong and right all this kind of horseshit how many people were involved

But all of the the fact that a president could be shot in broad daylight in the middle of the day during a fucking parade It's a lot There is a lot in there and you would think a word that has ass in it twice would be a positive thing But it turns out it's all about you're there Now we're about to dip our toe into name salad here But we're gonna do our absolute best to keep everything as clear and as concise as possible When we're talking about all the players involved in order to lessen your confusion Because it's very easy to get lost in all these names

That's one of the big problems that conspiracy theory has especially when the JFK assassination comes out It's people just start flipping out all these names and you completely lose track of the story Because it's just you don't know who anyone is or what anyone does why are we helping these people we couldn't help us Nobody helped us try to understand all the different names Operation 40 is it is literally it is 40 Cubans and they're all and they're all I'm sure of the brave Servants of operation 40, but it's the same name three times just mixed up in different orders We'll get to the bottom of it Had the Commission Johnson appointed Chief Justice Earl Warren

Which was already a particularly bad decision considering how Warren still had to report to the Supreme Court at 10 a.m Every day Earl Warren pissed everyone off They gave him the Warren Commission like the boss from office space like dropped off the TPS reports I just so you know you're gonna want to really close the books and that assassin there if we can get that going to be great Although he wasn't he was a conservative appointed justice and he became it more of a liberal so he's also kind of good Now as far as the people directly under Justice Warren went half of those six were fairly innocuous choices when it comes to Investigative bodies within the governmental sphere. It's just three senators Richard Russell John Cooper and hail Boggs hail Boggs. That's Wade Boggs's paternal

Grandfather and he was born with no knees very interesting no joints and entirely It's weird if he's a completely a stiff man And which is what they needed they needed a man that just had lines for arms and legs so that he could really pay attention to just the facts Absolutely an easy birth when your kid has no knees although. I think it was a little rough because he also came out with a mustache But the other half were in hindsight choices that seem almost designed to foment future conspiracy theories Whether those theories are warranted or not first you had Gerald Ford who became president about a decade after the assassination Coincidence what that's the thing Get ready for a lot of that

Well Ford became president through a series of governmental goof-a-mups Well, he was he was house majority leader. I think or maybe a house speaker. Yeah, he was speaker And he and then Spiro Agnew Richard Nixon's vice president was forced to resign So he became vice president and then when Richard Nixon was forced to resign Gerald Ford became president So you tell me that all I have to do is just sit here and wait for all of them to fuck up and then I get to be president Well, Gerald Ford actually he started as one of the sous chefs inside of the White House kitchen And when the house speaker slipped on a banana peel and fell down an elevator shaft And he brought all of his aides with him because they were on one of those bachelorette party trolleys

You know where they all be riding the bike very unfortunate the way that Parker trolley went over the banana that he grabbed them all pull them in there And that's how Gerald Ford got to be house speaker. So you could see you know happy accidents Hey, hey head of the White House if we thought about closing up the elevator shaft We're keep on losing senators and members of the house. That's how we weed them out Well the fact that Gerald Ford was never elected as vice president or president could from a certain perspective Be seen as Ford being rewarded for his service. Oh, I don't know what makes you think that Marcus Then you had international lawyer John J. McCloy Who was the former president of the World Bank?

Which has been rumored amongst conspiracy theorists for years to be a front for the Illuminati? If we can talk about the World Bank and not somehow become anti-semitic I will give us all of the I'll give us all the prizes well if they wanted to make the World Bank sound less suspicious I you call it like the saltwater taffy bank Something nice something that something that promotes good the LA Lakers Bank. Yes, something something fun Yeah, and of course I was making a reference to a lot of the conspiracy theorists who become anti-semitic. Of course. Yeah, what? I just want to I don't want people to be like, I've never heard that before What I'm saying is that you know that they're just all these places for you know, really ridiculous conspiracy to be plugged into

You know the Illuminati World Bank shit. That's a stretch but Final member of the Warren Commission is a highly questionable choice Even if you think there was no conspiracy whatsoever within the Warren Commission, Janet Reno Was she just a pile of calm? In fact, if this was a true murder investigation Conducted by a law enforcement agency this man would most likely be put quite high on a list of suspects If you're working off the principle of motive means an opportunity

I'm talking of course about former director of the CIA Alan Dulles Alan Dulles had a particular hatred for JFK because among many other things Kennedy had fired Dulles after the Bay of Pigs disaster in 1961 which we will explore further later And while many members of the Warren Commission attended only a few of the hearings, which is insane considering how important all this was Yeah, Alan Dulles attended the most by far Almost as if he had a vested interest in the proceedings. Have you done any research into Alan Dulles kissle? Have you ever seen it? You ever looked into the story? Alan Dulles was all over the place I talked about him in a lot in college because he was all with a co-interpreter all of this stuff

He created a lot of these government programs that went on to destroy the culture as we know it and perhaps Began pull with the with the drugs and stuff in in urban areas, but yeah, he's he's very infamous Alan Dulles comes from a long line of people that have controlled this country Mm-hmm. His father I believe was I want to say Speaker Thouse. He was under the the administration of Benjamin Harrison He was connected deep from deep into this international law firm that he was already handling weird sort of world government shit from as a very young man in the 1930s when he got to the head of CIA basically they just kind of made this shit up the OSSS was was Was created and then shuttered and then when they created the CIA and put him in charge

This is a man Alan Dulles had met Hitler that he was one of these people that like this is old school True like back in the day. He was one of the participants of operation paperclip He helped get Nazi scientists and Nazi like a different trade union guys over to the United States This guy's a truly nefarious character. You ever read the book the devil's chessboard by David Talbot. It has a it's just He's available. No, it's very interesting the way he brought the Nazi Scientist over he dressed them all like baseball players and it's in a way game He's truly one of the hidden villains of American history He's a terrible fucking person and this man who hated JFK was on the commission to

Investigate the murder of the president Yep, and so with the commission chosen justice Earl Warren appointed a former solicitor general named J. Lee Rankin as general counsel and the commission supposedly got to work on solving the president's murder Kind of by LBJ's command the Warren Commission's real job was to place every single bit of the blame for the murder solely on the shoulders of Lee Harvey Oswald and Anything that pointed elsewhere was either ignored or buried, you know for a fact at least 30 to 40 Liverwurst white bread sandwiches without the crust we're served during every meeting Nothing's better. Oh god. Oh my god get a nice like hard black like Scott it like you have one of those Polish breads

Yes, those black breads the post plates Liverwurst couple sheets of it a couple of slices of raw white onion you smear it with super spicy Polish mustard You don't need to be kissed ever again Because your intestines are getting kissed by all of that creamed liver. I Believe it now. This isn't to say that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't fire shots from the book Depository because he definitely did we both me and Henry both believe that Lee Harvey Oswald fired shots from the book Depository he's in there, but since Johnson wanted this done fast Anything outside of the lone gunman narrative was tossed aside and there was a lot

Outside of the lone gunman narrative. There was a lot so they went in with an end goal and just this is this is Like one-on-one mistake. Yeah, right? Yeah, you you say one-on-one mistake, but I sounds like it's one-on-one on purpose Yeah, they wanted this this is though the whole point was to get this really wrapped up because even if you begin to investigate all of the weird Covert shit attached to this or what could be involved again? What I what what I was kind of seeing up is that it betrays all of the Trusts that you've built with the covert community that covert community wants to be they want to be taken care of It's like internal affairs right within the police officers like a lot of times internal affairs Yeah, they're trying to keep their cops honest

But and let's say you are a police officer that goes and essentially throws a fellow police officer under the bus or tells somebody What's somebody going you would say hey investigate this guy. Let's say. Thank you so much. Great. Thank you You're doing a job. You're doing a service for us. Thank you But guess what you never get to be invited into ever again any of those secret conversations Any anything that would involve lead the backdoor politics that the way these organizations truly run you're not invited to anymore Because now you're fucking snitch. Well, you know what they say snitches get stitches But you know what snitches don't get schnitzels and when you don't get invited to the schnitzel dinner You think you're gonna snitch again? I don't think so because the way you say hey you guys. I'm smell some you guys making

schnitzel today or something Yeah, we are officer Bob and you would be invited if you didn't diss on Officer Rob just for taking a dump publicly when he was drunk. Yeah, maybe I was a good man Was a good man good men don't get schnitzel Where is this police officer? Where's this police department where it's officer Rob and officer Bob? Very well defecating in New Orleans. You got it one's a Bob one has to be a Rob always well this willful ignorance of large swaths of information Did two things? First the people who had other bits of information outside of the lone-gum a narrative whether right or wrong

Felt ignored and so they told two friends and they told two friends and before you knew it Entire books were being written specifically based on those ignored bits of information Now I have a question when it comes to the books Was it a slow burn or did they hit the shelves and just get scooped up start about two years after and then it just It was it was an exponential growth. Okay Second the report had to be actively changed or muddled at certain points in the narrative to account for those conflicting reports They had to use words like probably and they had to use phrases like assume to be which made the final report less than definitive To skeptics mm-hmm

But there was a further reason why much of this wasn't followed up on besides the time constraints set by LBJ in order to get an official explanation from the government as fast as possible it ended up the Investigation overall took a year. They wanted it done it originally in eight months Good lord just to give you a fucking perspective. You know what else took eight months? Oh, what metallic is it the black album? You can hear every minute Their shift from more intense thrash metal to more someone say pop thrash Melange metal Isolate some of the earlier fans it did bring in a whole new sea of fans that were interested in their more easy sound

We have such a different opinion on the black album. I think it's a great album. You put it on you drive to it I think it's awesome. It's fine. It's good Well this further reason even though the Commission was given only months to submit a report involving hundreds of witnesses and a story That involved at least four countries including two countries that we did not have friendly relations with These people were also working with a relatively small force like right here at LPN. Yeah Now there were six members of the senior council including Senator Arlen Specter aka Snarlon Arlen I'm the naughtiest face president

Hey Arlen. Hey Arlen. How'd you get your name snarlon? I'm new to the Senate and I would love to know how you got the name snarlon What do I have to do to find out? I'll show you first you make Tiny little steps like a cat then you make little cat hands like And then you kill a thousand people in Laos Well the senior council were all highly regarded lawyers or senators But since they were so sought-after many of them barely did any real work outside of Senator Specter The real work was left to the sixth member junior council

These poor motherfuckers were given enormous task to complete in an extremely short period of time and a lot of them had to do It damn near by themselves We're paying them in exposure Dog meat, that's more important than anything. It's eyeballs onto their portfolios. It is an internship They can get credit for this. They paid them seventy five dollars a day For the exposure. I actually get it because now we're talking about it. They really made it. Yeah Just to give you a scope of this investigation's responsibilities The Warren Commission was divided into six areas and each of these areas had two people working on them

That's maybe a couple of paralegals, but for the most part. Yeah, they got more people They got more people trying to figure out how to fill the vending machine Who killed JFK? That's really in shooter teams according to several documents I've read at least every shooter team is three people you got a shooter You got a spotter and you got to get away guy. Yeah, so even that has three people You should at least have enough people to fill a basketball squad. Yeah Well listen to what these two people teams had to contend with the first area was Concerned with the basic facts of the assassination the nuts and bolts of the shots fired

The second area was the identity of the assassin which aimed to prove that Lee Harvey Oswald was indeed the culprit The third was concerned with the background of Lee Harvey Oswald and what possible motives He could have had for killing the president The fourth was specifically concerning the possibility that Oswald worked with other people or outside groups during the planning and Execution of the assassination the fifth was about Jack Ruby and investigating if Ruby and Oswald had known each other Previous to Oswald's assassination and finally the sixth dealt with the failures of the FBI and the secret service Oh, and that must have been the most diligent one. Oh, I'm sure I'm sure they were very introspective at that moment Mm-hmm six people every single one of those tasks requires 20 people. Yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely

We did we technically did the research for the background of Lee Harvey Oswald It took me Marcus our three research assistants, right and but all of our horses, you know, and we're just a podcast We put five people on it But you know star stupid Puerrile Childish entertainment, but I think this is why a lot of people feel I'm sure the Warren Commission gets thumbs some things, right? Some things wrong a lot of things redacted if Sharpies could talk that would be great. Yeah, they go please let me go home Please let me make love

Sorry Sharpie, you've got to erase government secrets again But this is why people think it's so nefarious Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there were paralegals working on this and probably a couple of clerks here and there working on this shit But but not as many there's there weren't as many Main people working on this as you'd really want absolutely not so it's more about the company vibe It's about the idea that it they put people on it and as soon as they do it as soon as LBJ did it as soon as he Set this all up. He was like did it done it good Like he thought that this was all he had to do because then he can go on to now

Everybody could celebrate me being president everybody's gonna be they're gonna be so happy to see a big dick president again Who doesn't use it? It is for show So after the teams of senior counsel and junior counsel were paired up because remember it's two people each The investigative materials that the government already had were divided up into the appropriate sections Just to start with before their own investigations even began. Guess how many pages of notes they had oh I'm gonna say number 69 because I'm cool cool guy. I got shorts on No, make a serious guess 69

I'm gonna say at least 15 to 30 pages 20,000 pages. Yep. Good 20,000 pages. There's a lot of notes They had wait at 20,000 pages of investigative notes that they got from other Government and that's where they that's what they started with at one point You know, they were just drawn big dicks like they did in the big Lebowski and like there was what were on these 20,000 notes When you thought well, I mean you're you're working from notes from the Dallas Police Department You're working from notes from the Secret Service the FBI the CIA

You're working with all of these different agencies and they're giving you everything that they fucking have Next week. We'll be getting a little bit more on the ground on the day of the assassination going through all the various witnesses They spoke with Everyone when the when the Dallas PD showed up They were pulling as soon as it because you had a crowd there right you had 200 witnesses So immediately boom how many how many per each one then climbing through then you have the whole Texas theater Side of it where you have to you are you that murder investigation? They're the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald that investigation where he was murdered publicly in front of dozens of reporters all

Witnesses every so all looking this is the the piles of information They're trying to aggregate. Yeah, and then you're going to everybody that's in the book depository Everybody that was at Lee Harvey Oswald's boarding house, you know, everybody who worked with Lee Harvey Oswald in New Orleans You know, it's like you're you're just going further and further back And that's just what they started with and if they if they got everybody that went to Lee Harvey Oswald's birthday party I would have no one someone should have gone to his birthday parties. Maybe this whole thing could have been avoided Well, I tell you what I just don't I didn't even want anybody in my birthday party. That's why I said I don't even know I'm gonna I prefer to be alone. Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah, are you sure because it seems like you do want to have friends come over as a matter of fact I gotta go like three friends. We're commie buddies comrades Want to have a nice time? Are you sure you're not CIA? We are CIA I gotta give you that thank you for saying it. It's your birthday Because it's 20,000 pages 12 people max working on this shit dividing it all up It's almost certain that important evidence was either lost in the division or given to the wrong team It might have just been given to the wrong people because if you are in area 2

Like you're not really gonna be concerned with what's going on with area 6 because you can't because you're so busy with what you fucking got Going on that you can't be concerned with what everyone else is fucking doing well furthermore the Commission was purposefully flooded with Information by the FBI because it was determined that 90% of the information given by J. Edgar Hoover's FBI was absolutely useless to the investigation one report in particular the 1200 page gimbaling report had mixed in with pertinent information. I've skimmed through the gimbaling report There's a lot of pertinent shit in there along with all that were detailed descriptions of dreams People reported having after the assassination the gimbaling report does sound like a segment on 60 minutes

We're just time for the gimbaling report still got the gout. This has been the gimbaling report It's just one man. It's called I had a dream where I met a potato that was also my uncle Terry And I had a dream that I was a car. Yes, but he also was a boat I was both but then I was in my childhood home, but actually it was my elementary school Okay, well JFK was Irish. He's the potato The car is the car the book depository is the elementary school you sir are guilty guilty guilty I never should tell anybody my dreams like a time. I told somebody I wanted to run an ice cream store one day And they told me I was stupid

You can do it Now this flood of information might be par for the course when it comes to investigations of this magnitude and the Commission might have Erroneously asked for every bit of information the FBI had no matter how small But the point is that you had a relatively small team working through a mountain of bullshit Meaning that it was almost certain that important facts would be overlooked furthermore The FBI was all for given files about dreams that assholes had after the assassination But when it came to files on Lee Harvey Oswald arguably the most important person in the investigation the FBI Said nah

Was the good was seven was the seventh person. We haven't mentioned miss Cleo Why did they go into such what do you think that they did that just to have substance just to have Quantity not quality so then they could say hey look we got 20,000 pages. Well, it's a common trick in legal proceedings Where you flood the other side with information you flood them with paperwork You flood them with all kinds of bullshit that is not pertinent to the investigation In any way whatsoever, but they still have to go through all of it also these agencies as we see today are vaguely competitive They don't want anybody investigating the inner workings of it because they believe in their own sort of like proprietary Secrets and ways they do investigations and they are not trying to give information to the CIA

You're not trying to give information to the Supreme Court. They are trying to stay autonomous because the FBI thinks they know What's best for the country so does the CIA so does the White House so does the Supreme Court they all think well I actually know what's the best thing to do for this country And so you're not worth that information because you're just gonna get in my way. Yeah, especially then yeah, especially then well Shit, especially then especially 2001. I mean 9-11 may have tore our country a country apart when deciding to go to war, but it did bring the FBI and the CIA together So once the Commission divvied up the workload they made another conspiracy fueling decision They decided to hold all the hearings away from the public eye

Supposedly to keep from interfering with Jack Ruby's trial They further justified this decision by saying that public hearings might make the public reach mistaken conclusions If the testimonies were released out of context, which I suppose is a reasonable enough claim Whatever, but it's ironic But the pro it's extremely ironic just like everything is in this fucking investigation But the problem with at least their first justification was that very few witnesses were actually called Before Ruby's trial was completed and if that was really an issue They could have just waited a fucking week or two instead of rushing it or they could have moved Ruby's trial to an earlier date

They didn't there was no law that said both these things had to happen at the same time or they could have actually used Jack Ruby as a witness and asked him for information instead of He said no bring me to Washington He was like he wanted to go to Washington. He said he couldn't speak clearly in the Dallas prison because he basically said There were people listening to what he had to say and he didn't want to you didn't want a snitch on people that essentially He just didn't want to say the words a cop let me down the ramp Because he was my old buddy and that's why how I got to shoot Lee Harvey Oswald But it does have a fucking sinister tent when he's like I can't talk freely unless you bring me to Washington

And then they didn't that's what mr. Smith did when he got to Washington to Great movie a really solid movie. I love him But it's not like the Ruby trial would have lasted too long right because I mean there didn't video of him shooting him Unless he was like I was sleepwalking. You know that movie naked gun 33 and a third That hasn't come out yet. It was the queen that controlled me. It didn't I think they called one witness while Ruby's trial was happening because Ruby's trial was extremely short And I think they called one witness at the end of Ruby's trial and I think by the time Ruby's trial to ended They had called two

So they could have waited a few days even but they said nope We don't want to interfere with Jack Ruby's trial. So all this shit's gonna be secret Your end. They also told people you're gonna find out eventually So in March of 1964 the lawyers prepared a list of witnesses to be called during field investigations and And clarifying questions based on the initial material were forwarded to the FBI the Secret Service and the CIA But when it came to everything else General counsel Rankin wanted the lawyers to be independent now

This sounds like a good idea at first But as one of the lawyers put it this decision made the process hectic and Disorganized because they were trying to do all of it on their own And since everything was so disorganized the Commission cut corners For example Arlen Specter while doing his field investigation concerning JFK's neck wound He interviewed the hospital employee who found the so-called magic bullet on the hospital stretcher The accepted narrative is that the bullet that passed through JFK and hit Governor Connolly lodged in Governor Connolly's thigh And when Connolly was transported on a hospital stretcher in Parkland Hospital the bullet fell out onto the stretcher

That's the accepted narrative. Okay, sure But from what the hospital employee told Specter while he did find the bullet on a Stretcher he did not find it on the stretcher that Connolly had used now Was that bullet planted there by those responsible for the conspiracy or Mm-hmm did the bullet fall out elsewhere and someone merely picked it up off the floor and placed it on the nearest stretcher in a moment of Understandably shock stupidity. Well, if you get through episode, I want to say six of the men who killed Kennedy It actually fell out of Jeff. It actually fell out of JFK's head and that day That's where they kept it that you know, who knows what happened in that autopsy room sounds like it was a bit of a mess

Do bullets often fall out of the victim? Yeah, do they? Yeah Yeah, it's it lodged just right in the surface because it didn't go deep deep into him. Okay. Yeah, but the thing is We'll never know Because Specter didn't investigate the possibility because he didn't have fucking time But well at least but at least that's one way of looking at it One way is to say that our inspector was overworked and cut corners Erroneously thinking that something as small as where the bullet was found was ultimately in consequential. It's like well It's like well, we've got the bullet

It doesn't matter if it was on Connelly stretcher or a stretcher It was found on a stretcher and that's good enough for me And that'll probably be good for everybody else the other way of course is to say that our inspector was in on the conspiracy and Purposefully lied in order to obfuscate the truth. Okay fact is There's no way of knowing because our inspector didn't investigate the other possibilities and these holes are where conspiracy is born These are just these are horrible little suspicious little eggs inside of a big uterus. It gets filled with conspiracy come That's where they come from and this is this is important for you know This is the birds and bees of conspiracy theory really

People's ideas are come and they go inside gaps in information like pussyholes into doubts Which are eggs the eggs get filled with the conspiracy come come out as big horrible babies that? At some point start blaming Jewish people for everything So we started this episode in the pubes and now we've gone fully into the uterus Yes, we're living in the uterus right now and the only person that could have done a proper because I think the new ball ring That's what stops the periods right? Yeah It's stuff that would have been if George Washington came back to life and really wanted to find The killer of JFK and if only they had George Washington or somebody as vigilant as O.J. Simpson

Right to get out there and look for the real killer But I would have been the new ball ring to stop these periods O.J. Hasn't found the air quotes real killer though So tired and he's got so much content to put on social media. Yeah, he's building up He's building a team, you know, I think it might be difficult to bring with George Washington back and talk about this because we'll get all Mouldled up in the racial slurs Well entire books have been written about this one bullet and because its provenance is in question theorists can completely deny that the bullet that is now in the National Archives Was even used in the assassination. They can completely dismiss it like nope

That's not that's not the bullet You can so any argument that you have about the bullet and about the single bullet theory that can be dismissed out of hand Completely because they can believe that the bullet that's in the National Archives is not the real bullet I know that's just and that could just be our inspector cutting corners because he didn't have time to investigate Or he might be in on it. I don't fucking know Well, I know I'm glad to see him get here. I'm glad that he finally is waking up I actually this happened to me the other day. We were watching JFK We were watching JFK the movie and there's that scene where Kevin Costner walks in. He's just like

Yeah, well, no, it's like there's so many different questions and then they didn't even look at the head wound There's some of the middle of that's it. I god damn it This is something big and I'm going out the something bigger going on and his wife It's like baby come to bed come to bed and he's like I've been asleep for three years Natalie turned to me and she's like I wonder if they have had cameras in our bedroom To see that because I did this the night before where I was just brushing my teeth and just being like I know that there's gaps and In gaps comes calm and she's like alright. Okay. I get it now I get it. Please stop can JFK be in the living room and our love be in our quarantine bedroom. I

Can just see the conspiracy theory fight Yeah, I can see this happening at a Hampton Inn and they are just beating the shut up each other throwing baggles at one another croissant I've been asleep for three years Yes, you were you were in a coma. Welcome back Then there was the matter of the shots fired Oh warren tasked Joseph ball the man in charge of area two with investigating the claims that shots have been fired from the railroad bridge Six out of the seven witnesses from Dealey Plaza that ball spoke with heard shots from the infamous

Grassy Knoll which was the area to the right of the president's limo at the time of the fatal head wound It's such a nice. No, you know No, being in deal being in Dallas and going over there like this is super relaxing and it is I'm gonna go and say this might be An appropriate but is kind of fun to make rifle motions at cars as they go past from the grass You know cuz it's kind of fun. It's fun to do. It's cosplaying for a little bit. It's a bit. It's about America Do you think you think that's a sensitive thing to do at the grass? You know, you don't think that people might might everyone was laughing. They were they had real guns and they were pointing it back Oh, okay. I was there now where I was mostly people

Driving by very annoyed. Yeah, that we were running in and out of traffic so we could stand on the spot Yeah, where the president was killed. Yeah, we're being curious boys Yeah, like young Tommy Hinkle-Dinkle who became the fifth of the 12 shooters that they in Dealey Plaza But since where the shots came from was under the jurisdiction of area one Oh, God, which different people were in charge of these claims about the grassy knoll true or not We're never followed up on because the area one team was busy investigating the president's wounds at Parkland Hospital I feel like I'm trying to connect my cable and I'm on the call with spectrum A new division and none of them help

Furthermore as the commission barreled forward it became apparent that there were two separate Investigations that weren't working together in any meaningful way on one side You had people traveling to Washington DC to give close testimony to the commission itself the six people up top on the other You had the field investigators talking to people on the ground problem was Left hand had no clue what the right hand was doing because the commission and the investigators weren't talking to each other at all And I think that we will see as we go on to explain a little bit more about the machinations of the CIA later on in this episode The fact that Alan Dulles was the main force of the warrant commission shows that this

separation of the investigations is Is company policy? Yeah, he knew immediately you create these lines of decoupling these these lines of demarcation of Need to know you are on a need to know basis at all times and that keeps a whole thing a mass of fucking confusion And you know one of the divisions was just like now. Why do we call a single goose a goose and multiple goose geese? Why don't we call a single duck a duck and multiple ducks deeks? I actually think that one important finding of the more commissionals that we need to change the name of Groups of ducks to groups slash flocks of deeks Thank you. Thank you representative snarl. Is they are you thank you representative bogs?

I don't even remember your name Then there were the tests on On April 27th Pierre Antoinette Fink an army physician Testified that the only way to test the theory that one bullet caused all that damage to both JFK and Governor Connolly Would be to do so with two human cadavers That's the only way I'm gonna be able to see it possibly is we get a couple corpses and we put them in a car Yeah, you got a couple corpses and I'll put a fucking bullet in them Yeah, you know, it's so weird Pierre two-thirds of your name. I think of a very attractive person

Yeah, and then and then think are you it's how I fuck with you buddy You want to be test corpse a big long piece of shit? I'm gonna put a bullet To talk about it the water cooler in the lunchroom you think that's appropriate mr. Fink my job Now our inspector thought that it was too complicated to free up two dead bodies in order to get this shit done Instead he tried two different tests the first involve firing a bullet into gelatin blocks to see how much passing through an object like flesh Slows down a bullet which is pretty standard for ballistic tests and you know all the senators ate the jelly afterwards the gelatin Oh, this is my favorite kind of gelatin. This is funny. I've got gunpowder

No, no, no, no, but the second test was something different all together in this one the team anesthetized a goat and Fired a bullet into its living body to see if that slowed down the bullet. It did it. Yeah, how to do it did It did oh, I say oh, is that right say I told you it wouldn't be a waste of time And I got to fucking kill something with blood in it So this entire test is just to see if I when a bullet hits a body does it slow down how much it slows down how much? Yeah, it's all about how much does it slow down? Okay? Now this did get results But the problem was with who the Warren Commission chose to deliver those results

They called a veterinarian named Alfred Oliver to testify because he had helped oversee the killing of the goat And it was his feeling that it was more than probable that the bullet passed through the president first Somehow somehow he knew that I don't know how he knew that he just looked at the goat. He's like, yeah, yep It's got a hole in it Yep, probable and the thing was it is actually probable if not definite based on modern ballistics Modern ballistics test that we're able to do it is absolutely probable if not definite dog meat Does the magical bullet theory still hold? Is that a thing? No I know the idea is that they they did not account for the jump seat which meant that Governor Colony actually set below and

To the left of JFK, right? Yeah, that's right. The magic bullet theory has been debunked for fucking years Jim Garrison didn't know what the fuck he was talking about And of course the big difference there back into the left makes for a great cinematic scene in an Oliver Stone movie and Below and to the left is a great line to hear in a porno But back into the left is not really as important with the head movement as it is about brain mist Which we will talk about we will fucking talk about how the brain mist tells us different story than just the head movement Okay, he's actually right. It does tell someone But that's the thing about these ballistics is that you know we we have proved with modern technology that yeah

The ballistics do match up when it comes to a single bullet theory But when you bring in a fucking vet to deliver that news you tend to lose credibility Yeah, it's like him just like so when others back on a cow and turning to the grand jury and just been like Yep, the president was murdered like a farm animal Man this one's tits are just jam packed with milk I don't even think they'd bring a vet to a courtroom if someone got busted having sex with a cow in a farm I know like why did they Imagine that scene with the defense attorney trying to show that degree either that like heavy cows pussy was like well

You take a look at it We have a vet look at the cows vagina as we can see if a man fuck this vagina. It'd be way more fucked up You know, I mean and we'll show it with this metal rod about three inches of circumference We're gonna show in this cows vagina. Just how fucked up it would be if a man fucked it Well, the Warren Commission did eventually get a hold of a dead body. Oh, thank God. Where did they ever find that? Yeah, you fucking Jay Edgar Hoover's house This time they fired a bullet through its wrist and found that since this bullet Caused way more damage to the cadaver than the same type of bullet did to Connelly's wrist

It must have passed through something else before hitting them which supported the single bullet theory Then in May of 1964 Rankin announced that despite an original deadline of June 30th He was now giving an order that all the investigative reports be submitted on June 1st, what was the reason for the rush was was LBJ was putting pressure But was society was society obviously people wanted answers, but where people like they're taking too long We didn't have social media. I mean, I feel like society could have waited. LBJ wanted this done He he and I made a joke about it before but he wanted to get on with his Presidency and what he wanted to get done, which is makes LBJ

Fucking stink the high heaven with suspicion of like because then we're starting to look about for JFK, right? Who benefits from his death? LBJ is the top of that list because he immediately became president Que bono, que bono, but I think it also has to do with LBJ's ego because right after the assassination Everyone's crying over JFK and I'll be just LBJ's like would you people please just fucking get over it You didn't you didn't know him you didn't fucking know him and most you fucking hated him anyway so shut the fuck up stop crying about it and If I get this investigation done

Then maybe everyone will shut the fuck up about John F. Kennedy who I fucking hate it anyway and get to the business of Making LBJ the next great president now I know as LBJ that most of you guys dreamt about JFK as a potato Now this right here putting the deadline up a month earlier This was bad news to the investigators because most of them were nowhere near finishing their investigation and some were just Uncovering new evidence new leads new things that new questions to ask plus the FBI had not answered most of the questions The investigators had submitted. They just ignored them

So because the investigations weren't finished Rankin hired a four-person committee to fill in the gaps when two lawyers hadn't turned in their investigation by mid-July Rankin hired a 24 year old law clerk to finish their chapters for them This is the Warren report 24-year-old law clerk. Yep other times the committee totally rewrote entire chapters unbeknownst to the investigators One member of the committee Alfred Goldberg Rewrote the entire chapter concerning Jack Ruby because he didn't like the writing style of the lawyers who wrote it or so he said Jack Ruby Jack Ruby

Ruby how many people have to die? He wanted to make it slam poetry and he knew that he would never be able to get in his new slam poetry His take his urban rhymes. Yeah, because at the time this is pre-wrap Uh-huh But Goldberg wasn't the only one doing the rewriting another committee member named Norman Redlich Completely rewrote the chapter on identifying the assassin as Lee Harvey Oswald because the investigator Hadn't been able to finish it and because it wasn't finished Redlich cut corners and witnesses whom the original investigator had deemed unreliable or changed Two accurate observers. Just two letters. Just just get rid of the you get rid of the end. Yeah, boom

And the dumbest thing about this is that it actually took him three months to rewrite it Which was time that the investigator could have used to investigate the fucking claims and to find better witnesses It's like we go you guys wait until George R. R. Martin dies and he hasn't finished those games of thrones books Right and then whoever Japanese woman that comes in at the his very end times who seduces him on his deathbed and gets the entire Inheritance of his whole estate and she's the she starts rewriting those books. It'll be a very different tone It's all about just how clean George needs is this is tushy by 6 p.m I'll definitely read that series

So as the deadline loomed the commission told the junior and senior councils to wrap up their investigation And possibly lay out their jump to conclusions matt. Oh my god. It's a jump to conclusions matt When they felt the investigator in charge of ruby was spending too much time On how ruby gained access to oswald. They ordered him to stop So this guy was forced to report that ruby probably entered via the main street ramp probably Whose files did he get there? How else would it have happened? Some people say there was a door open that he walked through that they that was left open for him There there's many it's we I think we addressed it fully when we did our jack ruby segment the last episode

But it is true. It is highly highly confusing, but it does sound like they just put like They're steps on wane In charge of this shit. You should go ever Can I please switch now? And so having created a gigantic half-assed clusterfuck of misinformation and half-truths The Warren commission announced they had completed their hearings on june 17th 1964 the nice thing is if you just be like we're done. Yeah, then it's all done He did it and that concludes this episode of last podcast on the left

Thank you all so much for listening not a mystery left not at all At the end of it all most of the lawyers working the case left Washington and it was up to just three junior lawyers plus redlich and goldberg to write the whole goddamn thing In no more than a month Good lord. Good lord In order to make the july 15th deadline redlich reportedly worked 18 hours a day seven days a week and I'll tell you this from experience Working on an impossible deadline means your work is guaranteed to be sloppy and riddled with mistakes

You know how many times you just say fuck it and you just keep going and that's not i'm not saying like that's redlich being a bad man I'm saying that's human fucking nature right people aren't designed to work that much No, you can't unless you are a podcast comedian in los angeles, which means you are pumping out content right now You already got new patreons only fans just showing your asshole to people for a dollar There's a lot of people up there working 18 hours a day seven days a week And it's because they are fueled with riddling and avoid on the inside. Oh my goodness That's a strange podcast just showing your butthole like that almost makes you not a podcaster But more of a pornography star that's only fans. I know

Only fans, do you know it? Yeah, we have a lot of friends who are out of give the money you should get one For me Yeah, you think that people want to sign up for my only fans watch me just hang out with puffin I bet people would pay five dollars to watch you drink a bud light lime again and again and again Just to see you and you have me like he's doing it Fuck this dude it maybe maybe Well, the deadline was extended to september eventually after being first extended to august when redlich just went to him and said

I This is you are asking an impossible task There's not a single human being on earth who could do this in the time frame that you want But then marina oswald changed her testimony Concerning oswald's motive which which necessitated even more rewriting of the report in february She'd said that oswald's motivation was fame But in august she said that she had always believed that lee harvey oswald was actually aiming at governor connelly See considering the evidence we have this might be true

But that's the things we don't fucking know because the investigation was closed They could have looked into this more. This should have been a four year investigation So you tell me this was an oopsy-doopsy. This was a bit of an oopsy-doopsy. It was an oopsy-doopsy But marina gets brought out several times by various documentaries Again and again and you're going like lee. He is innocent Never kill never kill Only case being like, what do you get out of this marina? Why are you defending him because she doesn't offer any facts?

It's just being like lee's head too weird to kill president You're just saying shit. You took the picture marina weird. Yeah. I'm surprised she would stand by his side considering He was such an abusive jackass. Mm-hmm Well furthermore, there were actually arguments amongst the commission itself as to whether oswald had actually acted alone because of course the final Conclusion of the warren report was oswald acted alone But this argument was addressed in an addition to the report that is infuriating when you consider how this whole thing was Conducted beginning to end. This is what the addition said Because the difficulty of proving a negative to a certainty the possibility of others being involved with either oswald or ruby

Cannot be rejected categorically But if there is any such evidence it has been beyond the reach of all investigative agencies and resources of the united states And it's not come to the attention of the commission Well, thank you so much. That's not confusing whatsoever. I'm just gonna go about my daily business Believing that the government is telling me the truth and the cia did not kill jfk He didn't not not not not Not not Act alone

Or in correspondence with the foreign and or if they but And ran Intelligence. Oh, okay. Great. That's what business. I mean, it's like if they would have just given them more like these people were on the line To see if there were other agencies or other groups involved other people involved like the investigators were on the line They were making it. They were getting there Uh, but they said the warren commission said no, there just wasn't anything there because these guys weren't able to definitively prove it In the extremely short period of time We gave them

And so this half finished and yet still 888 page report was submitted to president johnson on september 24th And released to the public four days later against the wishes of our warren because warren said oh man, it's too expensive We can't put that out So he was a publisher he put on his book publisher cap cut to fucking coast to coast to am I was listening to some of their jfk assassination specials and one was the beginning of this guy He was like we have repackaged the warren commission and now we're selling it an incredible carinthian bound leather Hand autographed by jerald ford, which is true. They were selling limited edition

copies of the warren commissions as as commemorative gifts for people to have at home with jerald ford being like We got them like just like on the inside. Wow Well soon after the warren report was released the conspiracy theories started coming hard and fast Two years after it was published rush to judgment by mark lane mark lane being the guy who was briefly oswald's lawyer pointed out the numerous inconsistencies in the report If you watch that original documentary rush to judgment from the 60s, it's a really fun time capsule of very Very early conspiracy theory and it just lays out all of the first Layers of jfk conspiracy theories about like more than one shot the weird autopsy

Bullshit that went on like all of the different discrepancies after the fact and all of the witness testimony saying I heard a shot from the grassy No, yeah, so I wonder how much television played a role in spreading the conspiracy theory Do you think that they thought because they TV was new media? That was back and forth like they really thought though that they could just control print and Control radio and no one else would really care. There are two ways to look about it There's two ways to think about it one is it seemed to be there were a lot of true investigative journalism Happening at the time there were people trying to there was a little bit more of a naive sense of we serve the common good As media members we're trying to make sure you know people we are a public resource and we need to be responsible

Back when the fourth estate was a little bit less bias Yes, but if you look at the history of Alan Dulles, you see that Alan Dulles had a running Conversation with members of the heads of cbs the heads of mbc where he straight up They used to call him. I think the term what they used to call him alley Was their nickname for him? He had he was like super friendly with them that you would go and he would they would have dinners together And he'd give them gifts and you have all kind of stuff. So he had a little bit of a a finger Inside of the media as well. That's such a cute way of saying bribery

Good lord Well rush to judgment did not point a finger at anyone in particular But it's open into nature open the floodgates for a conspiracy cottage industry that is obviously still going strong to this day Stronger than ever perhaps what's dangerous about all this though Is that many of the people who wrote books in the early days dealt almost exclusively in Speculation in order to fill in the blanks that were made by the Warren report And that speculation was cited by the books that came after and the books that came after those And this speculation was cited so many times that it is now to some people

fact That the interesting thing about this is that with the 2000 books about the jfk assassination came 2000 theories as to what exactly happened And who was responsible for the death of the president? It's truly not an exaggeration when you look at each one of these books They have a whole other Proprietary version of their capital c conspiracy story Which what here at last podcast on the left a part of what we've been doing over the last month is Is research into how do we fit?

Some of these conspiracy theories into what we Quote-unquote know about the hard facts about Lee Harvey Oswald And what happened that day and jack ruby all that kind of shit So now what we're trying to do is weave a tail of the many conspiracy theories that sort of hold weight now After we have the resources that we have in 2020 versus what somebody just wrote in their garage in 1978 But if you entertain the thought that lee harvey oswald was not solely responsible for the death of the president The group that had the most to gain from jfk's murder was without a doubt the c i

a Man and what a good time i honestly of all the times they've been aligning the cia which nice is that right now I think everybody's very busy So we can really talk trash about it Currently because i haven't heard any clicks on my phone I haven't either since we've really started trash and shit and i've been screaming in my house about the cia And no one said anything maybe they just listened to the podcast we record Now our main source for the cia portion of this series is jfk and the unspeakable

Why he died and why it matters by james w. Douglas which when it comes to conspiracy books is among the more sober And serious of the accounts I do like that he Puts in like why he died and why it matters because you can just see someone be like Yeah, who cares? Yeah, uh, yeah, who cares? What are you what are you even talking about the unspeakable in this case was the concept of nuclear war Destroying the whole world While douglas does indeed rehash quite a few debunked conspiracy theories including the jim garrison theory used by oliver stone to make the

Movie jfk totally fucking debunked the central thesis of this book bears consideration In douglas's view jfk tried reversing the mechanisms and policies of the cold war that were plunging the united states further and further Into conflict and the military industrial complex particularly the cia Killed him for it And when you look at the actual facts of jfk's foreign policy and when you look at just how many conflicts he had with the cia during his Three years as president and when you look at what the cia had already done they Are the obvious culprit in the murder

They are one of the more obvious qualms to the murder that i've ever seen in my life And have you believe it i've been asleep for three years So what we're gonna do here is take you on a bit of a trip through history in order to establish Who had the most motive to murder john fitz gel kennedy on november 22nd 1963 And were you worrying that this quarantine was going to make our series shorter? You will be incorrect It's actually going to make it longer because now we have more time when we first planned this series It was we were supposed to be going on tour

So we thought we were going to kind of condense a bunch of bullshit and figure it out and really get in the bottom But but now we have plenty of time folks and you're locked in with us deep into cockpit get your lunch pail ready Get your kool-aid boxes and your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We're going on a field trip. Mm-hmm Now when jfk came into office, he inherited the cold war with the soviet union from dwight d eisenhower. Thank you But he'd also inherited eisenhower's final message to the american people Beware the military industrial complex if you want to get stoned or not Uh, you can listen to that speech. This is one of the best presidential speeches of all time Or watch uh fog of war the documentary about uh, robert mcdonough. Yes

It's it's kind of wild to see somebody be presidential When you see dwight eisenhower make that speech you're trying to be responsible You know when everybody's sitting and nodding and saying like oh you learned something from being president and you know dwight Eisenhower didn't go on to make a podcast or or you know make a bunch of netflix shows. He actually uh, He actually was like a president Wonder what that's like You know it was very interesting because of course he was a general and it's it's ironic that he was the one who warned against the military Industrial complex and it definitely makes me feel like he knew what the hell he was talking about

He absolutely knew what he was talking about and it really was it's nice to watch the speech because like you watch it and you're like Oh, look at that. He cares about me Oh, did I not get more dumb or when I listen to the president speak? Oh my god That's like unbelievable. It's like he almost like cares about he cares about americans. Don't you fucking care about me? I don't need you to care about me. I could take care of me I never felt anything before I don't need it Well what we're talking about here in case you've never seen it all the way back in the late fifties

Eisenhower saw that there was a lot of money to be made in war Particularly in the cold war and if america let the war industry drive our foreign policy Then we as a country Would not survive it and this is not something that he told to one of his advisors or anything This was a televised address to the country warning about this shit But money was only half of the equation here the other half was power And no organization amassed more power in the cold war than america's own cia First let's get into why the cia was so powerful because even though the cia like we said in episode one

Were and are not omniscient beings of unlimited power They still were and are highly fucking dangerous especially at this time period because Hinting out what I was talking about with alan dullis said again We try not to address the concept or talk about the capital eye Illuminati as this as if it's a thing that is On the books real right objective reality real

But alan dullis came from family connections Much like a lot of people within this small sphere of the original group that started the os s His little group that it literally was a group that used to hang out that their think tank became the cia They intermarried they had kids. They went to the same schools They were family lines that were running the back door channels of our country now to this point So jfk just gets handed this shit or dwight eisenhower I honestly think at some point he held sway over them because he was a military man He fought hard in world war two. They respected him jfk young dumb fool. Come one of these little progress

Yes, but you got a new guy coming in there This is some this is some new old blood because he also comes from old blood old fucking rich money But he's trying to shake it up in a licea silver stone from clueless fashion In a way that made them very upset And when the cia was created they worked off a concept called plausible deniability What this meant was that the cia was allowed to violate international law without asking for permission Because if the people in charge didn't quote unquote know what was going on They couldn't be held responsible for what the cia was doing

In theory the cia would predict what the president was thinking and act solely in service of the president's foreign policy But very quickly the cia decided that they knew what was best and they acted according to their own beliefs Their own policies and their own interests. This is a conspiracy. This is history. Absolutely. This is the way they viewed it Alan Dulles spoke openly about this being essentially like we are the real We're the safety net You guys all play with your politics and you guys you vote for fucking president But we're the ones really getting shit done stuff like

Making sure that they don't privatize a bunch of fruit companies in guatemala and flipping that whole government For capitalist reasons or flipping governments in africa because you believe that you're going to put together a more stable Government for these places that can more easily communicate with the United states of america Meanwhile, then they go on to commit massive Humans rights violations after the fact, but they're our human rights violations. So it works Well, absolutely. I mean look at mugabi for crying out loud. It's ridiculous. What the cia is done over International but didn't the cia When it comes to world war two, that's what they got their power right because weren't they were they were uh,

They were put together by truman in 47 In 47 after cia Right after it was os s during world war two. So yeah, it was they were put together after world war two Well in order to grease the wheels of whatever scheme they had going The cia installed agents throughout the entire government and these people answered not to the president But to cia director alan dullis Now alan dullis's pet project in the early 60s was the bay of pigs invasion to refresh your memory This plan involved cuban exiles invading cuba in an attempt to overthrow fidel castro

And this invasion was funded and coordinated by the cia Now what the cia was ultimately trying to do here was bait john f. Kennedy into committing to full american engagement Because if jfk didn't provide military air support the mission was going to fail But kennedy called their bluff All in the face of international embarrassment and he totally refused to do it not going to fucking commit troops Not going to commit air support no the invasion did indeed fail on multiple levels After the bay of pigs kennedy said that he wanted to splinter the cia into a thousand pieces And scatter it to the winds because he thought there's no way these guys should have this much power

these guys have so much power that they Are planning invasions of other fucking countries and trying to bring me in on it and trying to force my foreign policy So he's like i'm going to get rid of these assholes Well, they originally came in with a plan a proposed plan of like they were just going to drop in in a major city in cuba And start going the idea is that we've already starting to send little foot soldiers building grassroots armies Inside the fringes of the cuban government and then what we're going to do is we're going to show up Real close to the capital and you guys are going to come in four days of fucking sheet bombing

We're going to be I got a couple cuba guys who are going to be soaking cigars and jfk is listed there I mean like it's like get out of my office as soon as they started saying this shit because He was like i'm not fully committing so we halfway committed. He's like okay actually switching over to the bay of pigs It's farther away I'll give you like two days of air support and then he tried to halfway do it But they're like yeah, but if we do it anyway jfk will see the error of his ways And then as soon as they landed on the beach and blew up marina in cuba and the whole world was like uh

america's invading cuba He then just stopped he was like no no no i'm not going to be involved in this shit And then a bunch of cia guys guys a bunch of cia guys died Well, kennedy began by firing cia director allen dullis and all other top level operatives involved in the planning of the invasion Then he reduced their power by taking military type operations out of the cia's hands And giving it to the joint chiefs of staff who were from then on for better or worse his principal military advisors Finally jfk moved to cut the cia budget in 1962 and again in 1963 aiming for an eventual

20% reduction in their budget by 1966 And really the cia was actually even dirtier than jfk knew In a 1975 senate hearing on us intelligence operations cia officials admitted that they had contacted mobsters john reselly sam giancana and santos traficante to offer them $150,000 to assassinate castro while eisenhower was president Keep those names in your brain because they're going to come up over the next couple of episodes as People that might have been on dallas in november. I guess on vacation or something. I don't know what they were doing

And there's such easy names to remember. We got pace piccanta. We got uh john eroy. Who was the other one? Well by the time jfk got in office He felt even more pressure for the intelligence community to have castro killed But kennedy was reportedly opposed to it on the grounds that the united states shouldn't carry out political assassinations Even though it has been In the cia manual since the very beginning talk about a fun little excursion for yourself google cia assassination manuals and it's kind of fun Like i have several tabs of them open i'm talking about like crushing windpipes

But mostly what they say is stuff like make it look like an accident And that's why when they were working with those fruit companies in guatemala They would get a lot of rotten fruit because you could make a lot of things slippery with all different types of fruit Absolutely. Why we're all the peels to these bananas Now getting into the deep conspiracy world for just a bit when it comes to castro's assassination Let's talk about operation 40 40 beers in 40 days can you do it was that the papa john's operation 40 40 pizzas 30 days No, it's 40 cubans with 40 bullets. Oh, okay

supposedly operation 40 was made up of 40 cuban exiles Outside of the bay of pigs invasion and these guys were all involved in anti castro operations Including the assassination of fedel castro operation 40 is real They it is on the books. They created it as a part of these strike teams essentially these groups of militants which they recruited by saying hey, we're gonna go do some dirty shit in cuba and we're gonna get this done the real way and What they did was they trained all these guys in florida do it all it's got a bullshit

And then they were ready to released, but then they had nowhere to go release According to conspiracy theorists, this group was recruited and run by george hw bush Hmm, and this is not ridiculous because george hw bush was a cia agent. You eventually ran the cia In the head of the damn thing Yeah, there's a memo that lists george bush as the creator of operation 40 and his job was he would get money that his job was to connect money

to operation 40 and Essentially be i'm like i don't know if the term comptroller is correct But he was like the money guy for operation 40 Um, and when this memo was released george bush in 1992 he said that was some other george bush Yeah, like i i don't think so though. Oh my god. I don't think so. We're right back in the bush I thought we were in the uterus Oh my god, but you guys are totally losing sight here, and i can't even believe you're saying this about george hw bush He jumps out of a plane every single birthday. He did anyway, and i think that was amazing

Well, he supposedly did this in conjunction with a texas oil magnate named jack crickton If you really want to know just how confused and all this shit gets Take a listen to the deathbed confession of former cia agent and watergate plumber e howard hunt guys I really wish you would stop calling my bed the deathbed. I am 40 years old. I feel pretty healthy Of this confession concerning operation 40 is unfortunately paired with uh some highly distracting conspiracy video music So just try to cut through that dumb bullshit that all of these assholes do for some reason or another Try to cut through it and try to really listen to it and see if you can still figure out what the fuck this old man is talking about Spirits and moralists and

people of that uh yoke They stayed in apartment houses during preparations for uh big event Their addresses were very uh subject to change

so that where a fellow like Well, all of us have been in one day. You would not necessarily Associated with that same address the following day In short, it was a very mobile uh experience Let me point out at this point that if I had wanted to uh fictionalize What went on in Miami and elsewhere during the run up for the big event

I would have done so But I don't want any uh, unreality to change at this particular uh The story or the information I should say I was a benchwarmer on it And uh, I had a reputation for honesty I first of all want to talk about the content, but just as a uh, just as a producer's note

Uh Actually, I don't know. I got some There was a little something there to be taken sir. Oh, yeah down the store at me. I wanted to get milk And You try to sell me white orange juice Yes, it is uh milk is white orange juice I'm the bigger man. I was a benchwarmer. Yeah, I really I'm loving the dialogue here, but what if we add some more sound to it? So let's try to edit that in our brains. What was he talking about there?

He was talking about operation 40 operatives living in apartments in miami, florida in the lead-up to the assassination of jfk Uh ostensibly because he doesn't ever actually say This was the this was the uh fucking assassination jfk He just keeps calling saying things like the big event and the thing Right. Yeah down there apartment in miama because he keeps calling him miama, which is very different way of saying miami That's the town in texas called miama. It's fine if you believe a One of these conspiracy theory lines that there was an attempted possible right-wing hit

For jfk in miami that involved some people from operation 40 operation 40 then moved operations to dalis E howard hunt if you do believe him he was one of the i want to say one of the burglars He was for the watergate scandal. So I would he they don't know what he was some form of cia asset That's what they said. He was no clue. He was but very often E howard hunt is named as one of the three tramps the three tramps or three homeless people That were picked up an hour after the assassination and dalis that have been named several times as several different tryptics of spooks that existed at a time different jfk characters And we will cover them more specifically next episode, but I if they were really indeed three tramps

I do imagine that each one would sound like Yeah, I was gonna cast much once but instead I caught eights So is it possible the cia did have undercover people dressed as homeless people? Obviously, that's something that would do just in defense Of jfk to make sure that they can over it. I don't know it's not the cia's job to defend the president It's this that's not that's the secret services job. It's our job to kill the president Scratch that from the record. Would you please scratch it if you would bring on mr. Sharpie if we could Well, the conspiracy theory is that operation 40 was redirected from their mission to kill castro

To a mission to kill kennedy instead because these were off the books guys. These were not cia agents. These were cia assets These were cuban exiles Now I don't know whether or not this is the truth because like most conspiracies this theory is based off testimony And we have no hard evidence to back it up. All of these are all some dude said some woman said that's man We're gonna cover him next week and I have the names of all 12 assassins are in daily pause of that day They each were separate members of both the mafia the dallas pd cia ops and operation 40 and I'm I'm waiting I'm waiting until I can release those names. I can't wait for the lid to come off of that dome of yours

It's gonna be absolutely fascinating Well, that's the thing is that operation 40 does at the very least show you that the cia had the means to murder Anyone they might find inconvenient unless of course if you count for del castro Uh, they never quite could get him. Well, I mean they should have made better tasting cigars That guy is an aficionado. Really the road runner to the cia's wily coyote. They just could never get him Why couldn't they get him? I don't understand the cia the c in cia doesn't stand for cancer which did end up getting him but returning to history

Because the united states was so obviously involved in the bay of pigs invasion Fidel Castro snuggled up even closer to the soviet union who was of course our big bad enemy in the cold war Castro gave the soviet union permission to install nuclear weapons on the island And suddenly the power to destroy america was no longer thousands of miles away in russia But was instead only 90 miles from florida A standoff between america and the soviet union sued but cooler heads prevailed and the premier of the soviet union Nikita khrushchev agreed to withdraw missiles from cuba if kennedy agreed to withdraw missiles from turkey The question is did that make us safer?

Yeah, it's possible It's possible no the missiles themselves if you look at like india and pakistan as soon as they were at war forever And then they both got nukes I'm wondering if the nukes were so close that we had to be like oh no no no we have got to de-escalate But you wonder if they were never there if that wouldn't have happened at the time khrushchev was Straight up saying i don't care if we all die khrushchev was really the the wild card here

He was willing to shoot the weapons. We had weapons that we we already fired them once right? We already blew up Hiroshima Nagasaki. We already did it once. We got it out of the system Sure, so we saw how hard it was and how you know even though However, you feel about the end of world war two. I think it's it's obviously a very complicated issue The fact that they had to kill hundreds of thousands of people in one go to do it and could do it in an instant Was very scary and we felt the responsibility of that a little bit more acutely than the soviets. There's a great There's a great documentary the man who saved the world About the man who did not fire the the soviet nukes

There was a solar flare and it looked just like we said to shit load of nukes over to russia and thank god for that man But to henry's point he was ostracized Yeah, instead of being a hero, which he should have been they he was an alcoholic who went to live with his mother and Never was heard from again Now kenny's military advisors the concession of taking missiles out of turkey if the soviet union took them out of cuba To some of his military advisors. This was on par with appeasing hitler What they had wanted to do was strike first and strike hard in the hopes that we would wipe out Most of the soviet union like this is true. Dr. Strange. Yeah, yes

These guys pushed for this fully accepting that millions of americans would die even under the best conditions of a mutual nuclear exchange And fully accepting that at minimum 140 million soviet citizens would die. They were just fine with it You know that scene where uh, but can uh, george c scott and strant dr. Strange love is talking about 30 40 million casualties tops Depending on the brakes like that was the exact fucking conversation. They were having yeah, yes insane In fact, even before this alan dullis had brought a plan to jfk outlining procedures for striking first Without provocation Just to get it over with like let's do it tuesday. Let's get it done

Because the what's interesting is that this is not the first time they tried to do this right after world war two They also tried to preemptively strike the soviet union because they saw as soon as that all the dust settled that That's our next new enemy. It's like we can go in right now now that we've already blew up two cities We could blow up moscow like right now and it's you know, apparently got a lot of pushback Well, it's interesting because also the the um, the ramp up of the us nuclear arms the arms race The us understood that we could have an arms race and win Yeah, but the gdp russia was spending ussr was spending 35 of their gdp on the arms race So we also know if we don't nuke them, we're gonna bankrupt them and that's why it took extremely long, but that's the best way to do it

Yeah, better than nuke in them. I mean the best way to do it is to make peace and then Bankrupting them of course turned russia into what it is now and it doesn't always have to be a no, of course if human beings weren't human Yep, absolutely Thankfully though no missiles were fired and jfk and cruise ship began secret talks to make sure nuclear war didn't happen Let's do what is it called seven seven seconds in heaven or something like that Let's go into the closet and make out they were sending secret messages to each other with newspapers Oh Yep through there through his brother, but it was uh, you know at some point

He's just like and all I gotta tell you a part of this is I want to see your wife's titties I gotta see your life titties once because all I need to see every woman's breasts one time Now this year was probably the CIA's biggest problem with john f. Kennedy They could deal with getting their budget cut They could deal with plans being foiled, but the one thing they found Untenable was peace with the soviet union The CIA wanted victory over the soviet union and therefore communism no matter the cost

Now it could have been that some agents truly did believe communism was an existential threat But it seems like others had started to take the cold war personally Do you think that they almost resented the fact that it was a cold war and not a hot war? That they that they're the last generation got ww2 right they got the big Everybody's proud of you. You fought the fucking nazis. You got the girls the uso girls What they're they're fucking the pusher brawl the pin-up kind of shit all that kind of fun stuff going on But they have to do this like lame cold war with envelopes. I mean

I mean it really could be because what they were pushing for for years was an actual war It's not doesn't have to be with russia. It can be with someone vaguely associated with russia Let's get a proxy war going and they just kept pushing for it and pushing for it I have a feeling we'll have some of those I mean these guys their personalities and identities were so wrapped up and winning the cold war and utterly defeating the soviets That the idea of a peaceful coexistence was not only unthinkable, but ultimately treasonous it's on american It was downright yuck

yuck As such elements within the military establishment, not just the cia kept pushing to kill castro And eventually invade and take over cuba in the quest for victory over the godless soviets This meddling in the affairs of others is not so much different from america's training and arming of forces in afghanistan And there were against the soviets in the 80s, which of course gave power and prestige To osama bin laden, which eventually led To 9 11. Oh, I totally forgot about that. Oh shit 9 11. I was thinking it was like 7 11's a store 9 11. Wow, but honestly, but in a way

Should we kind of be proud of how well we trained osama bin laden? We train him so good Push those russkies right back and speaking of 9 11 In march of 1962 the pentagon proposed a plan to kennedy that has been the source of a thousand conspiracy theories Outside of the assassination of john f kennedy, particularly in the 9 11 inside job world That plan was operation north woods In march of 1962 the defense department and the joint chiefs of staff proposed a plan for a false flag operation That had the purpose of starting a war with cuba again

The whole point is we will force us into a war Kind of like what we talk about with serial killers about building the validation points like building make it so that you Oh, well now I have to kill they wanted to put us in a position where now we definitely will fight a war For starters They will coordinate a phony attack on the military base at guantanamo bay in cuba to make it appear as if the cubans were Moving against america aggressively. How do you know the cubans did it? The empanadas were everywhere. They're everywhere. Look at these croquetas. This is incredible. They left all these All these delicious croquetas and maduros

How could they ever leave this? In this they would start rumors using radio broadcasts capture fake subba tours on the base who were really friendly exiles Start riots using those same friendlies outside of the base main gate blow up ammunition inside the base And lob mortar shells into the base from outside and that's just for starters. That's easy. Boom. Boom. Boom. You get the guy He's doing the thing. I'll call up my buddy. He's gonna go down there and he's gonna do this and boom boom boom That's it. So this is the this is the artichoke dip before the main. Yeah between before the main uh entrée After that they would blow up a ship in guantanamo bay and blame cuba citing the destruction of the uss main in 1889

Which led to the spanish-american war as proof that this would be enough to push the public toward accepting the conflict Did they point to pearl harbor at all because there's some people that also believe the us gonna had a hand in that This is them. This is their pitch, right? They're in a pitch room Pitchiness like and I imagine that they joint teams of saffs have the same faces of all of the people I am pitched at where they are just like glancing at the clock like their phones are turned over But like they're buzzing like they're they're literally dancing on the phone with notification dancing on the table with notifications There's nothing like us three Extremely not hollywood-looking guys walking into a pitch room and I'm happy that they have to work for an hour

Even pretend to care about what we're talking about Finally they proposed the development of a communist cuban terror campaign in miami and various other florida cities Wherein they would just plain murder cuban refugee communities with bombs and blame it on cuban communists This was an actual plan that they had. This is what they wanted to do. This is on the books y'all This is a pentagon plan. It's a tale as old as time as well I mean, this is on the books and if you listen to this story, right you heard the ace elements These little deep, you know the idea of sending in saboteurs as pro-castros the flip you're gonna do us some stuff Uh, we wonder what happens after jfk is assassinated and why it seems like uh, they did a bunch of shit

That sounds like a thing that they were already planning to do without the president's permission They think they said maybe maybe we can let's just try to pitch and see what happens We'll throw some noodles against the wall see what works and um when jfk was like no They then kept all that stuff and they're like we won't we'll save these jokes for later on It is interesting. I mean even if the cia did not kill kennedy I do think they had a vested interest in not having people do any research into them. Mm-hmm So maybe it was just to cover up all this stuff. Maybe I don't know Well jfk thankfully said are you fucking nuts? Of course. I'm not gonna do that. Are you fucking?

Are you fucking crazy? Why are you a fucking nuts? I tell you what if you had caught me before I came this morning I might have listened to you but now thankfully I'm saying we can thank maryland and roe for american peace Instead he continued his talks with nikita khrushchev to try and de-escalate tensions between the two countries even further Now this next part may not be true. This might just be a little bit of wishful thinking But khrushchev's son said that his father and jfk were getting along so well that a week before kennedy's death They had begun plans to go to the moon together in a joint lunar mission between america and the soviet union Not not kennedy and khrushchev literally together in a fucking capsule and flying up there But you know both space programs the secret service might have had a problem with the president just going like he's you know

Hey, do you think it would be legal for you and I to kiss on the moon? But you know there's actually evidence to back this up about two weeks before his death jfk issued a memo ordering nasa to broadly participate with the ussr in outer space Including cooperation and lunar landing programs So there's some there's evidence to back it up that this is probably this might have happened could have been cool But it wasn't just the military and intelligence communities that jfk was pissing off and april of 1962 He drew the ire of the business side of the military industrial complex by forcing the steel industry to resent on a price increase When they at first refused jfk started cancelling defense contracts and had a whole set of industry-wide tax audits ready to go

So big steel eventually surrendered like is this a mafia tie with big steel? Is this just plain old business? That's just plain old business. I know that you want to talk about american mafia. There's also executive order 11,110 where jfk he amended that he Had he delegated the secretary of the treasury the president's authority to issue silver certificates So he was fucking essentially with the federal reserve as well Like they say there's a lot of people that say he was this was kind of perfunctory act But it shows there's another weird if you look up executive order 11,110 Right if you look it up, you'll see that he also might have rankled some of our own purebred american gang

Fixers the federal reserve and that's another enemy and I'm just so happy you have checks and balances So the president doesn't have too much power. What was the what was the number on that executive order again? And with this jfk had pissed off the cia the pentagon all right and big business And what got all three of them pissed off at the same time? Was vietnam Viet fucking nah, and that'll piss off the american people right there. Yeah, I made my uncle real upset. Yeah, buddy Now to say the least the history of the vietnam war even just the beginning of it is wildly complicated And far too much to go into without having a full vietnam series, which I want to do eventually

So we're just going to give a few broad strokes Now the cia had been in vietnam pulling strings since the 50s when it became obvious that communist elements were gaining Footholds amongst the people see the war in vietnam began as a civil war that had fuck all to do with america But the cia and the pentagon believed that if the communist sympathizing north vietnamese forces won The entire region would fall under the influence of international communism Not the case if communism is as bad as they say it is and I believe that it is uh, not not not a good way of governance But it would have failed on its own You know what i'm saying like if you if you really are that scared of it just let it play out

But also just in or if it works for him let it fucking work for him. Oh, whatever I agree. I'm one of those where it's like let it work for him if it's gonna work It's just why are we gotta do it? Why does cia gotta do it? Well, they didn't understand what was going on in vietnam. They didn't understand the internal politics of vietnam They looked at everything with such a fucking wide scope that they did not see what was actually going on in that country Just like we didn't see what the fuck was going on in iraq You know, it's the same shit over and over and over again We're still getting iraq wrong fucking 20 years after the invasion and the us

We still got a lot of goodwill worldwide because ww2 we're we're definitely capitalizing on that Yeah, but jfk saw things differently. Although he did commit to a fair amount of military advisors at first quote-unquote military advisors It soon became obvious that these advisors were fighting and dying for the south vietnamese government Besides the south vietnamese government didn't even want the cia there because the cia had already embedded themselves in half of vietnam's 41 provinces in the early 60s. They're just the drug dealer that stays at your house Yes, thank you cia. You've given us the drugs. Don't you have anything else to do? The thing is is that i'm also making love to your girlfriend and i'm also Your girlfriend. Oh no kid

So the cia had to make that government go away Shit was already shaky between the south vietnamese government and its people So the cia by the later admission of the agent who did it Planted a bomb killing dozens that triggered a coup. It's like the movie hairspray when uh when the bomb is planted in the woman's hair Yeah, and it was a coup. Remember that was a dance-off. Yeah, so it's just like that I mean, I just oversimplified a lot of shit. Oh my god, of course vietnam Dude, we gotta get through the series. We get cited on research papers all the time This is not to be cited for your vietnam paper. No, absolutely not

No, it's it they especially all this year with the dm brothers and like yeah, you don't want you want to go into french colonialism I don't guys right now. I know you guys choose the subject for the show But can I just say this and this is maybe a side for henry? Hi, henry. Can we not ruin marcus's brain anytime soon with vietnam? Can we just give him like at least like i'm saying like a year I told him it's okay if we do vietnam if he listens to a lot of crossbeast sales national because it calms him All right, good compromise. I'm gonna get my meal. I episode eventually No, we'll do it. No, I know I know that

Well, the cia had promised to fly the south vietnamese president out of the country in the event of a coup But the cia had no intention of doing so they kept pushing it back saying up gonna be another 24 hours up Gonna be another 24 hours just hold tight stay where you are where the people can find you It's like dumb and dumber when she doesn't show up for the date Must have been 10 a.m. Must have been 10 a day, but so president no din dim and his brother were tied up shot in the back of the head and stabbed in the chest This occurred 21 days before kennedy himself was killed. Oh my god. That is really interesting No, so they've already done it. They're already doing it. It's our yeah

It's our the the mechanisms are already in place right and kennedy is actually and he's saying like What the fuck are you guys doing and the cia is is doing other weird shit too? Like they're fucking with They're fucking with food aid To south vietnam. They're trying they're trying to create a coup. I remember that they also put pizza on a bagel That was like who does that? That's crazy. The best part about that is that you can then have pizza at any time Yeah, that's a good point. Well, what what they were trying to do is they were trying to replace the south vietnamese government with a military general Like they were it was a military coup that was backed by the cia that was there that was in line with the cia's interest And if you don't think that happens today, we got libya those farmers that all of a sudden had amazing guns

To get rid of gadafi. Mm-hmm. This stuff is currently happening right now Yeah, and while the fucking cia was doing that kennedy was telling senator george smathers They elected me because I had jelly on my face I know I knew that I would be the best senator because I give them the best hugs Oh, that is nice Kennedy was telling smathers. I got to do something about the embassies in the cia. Why don't we give them a balloon jet? Because nobody can fail if they have a balloon I'll tell you what represents smathers if you were if you had a parent press

So I would put you in my ledger this jfk scratch in his crotch me like there was a lot of jelly on that guy's face I just won't make the president smile Now this isn't to say that kennedy didn't succumb to certain pressures He did approve of a cia program of sabotage and harassment in cuba And he did publicly say at one point during an interview with walter kronkite the withdrawing from vietnam would be a mistake Like he didn't he was not perfect in any way whatsoever when it came to his foreign policy He made a lot of fuck ups. He was waffling. He didn't know what the hell to do just then because this this whole thing had been kicked off He was going to try

Terrain it in and try to figure out what to do. I guess that was like at least one of his intended goals What he said he was going to do But who knows what the fuck he was going to do because it sounds like vietnam Might have been a really complicated situation. Yeah Yeah, but in october of 1963 kennedy issued a directive that called for the official withdrawal of 1,000 military personnel from vietnam by the end of 1963 and the total withdrawal of american forces by 1965

And some claim that this was the final straw that got john f kennedy killed could have saved About hundreds of thousands of lives. Oh millions. It's unbelievable 58 thousand americans Over a million Vietnamese civilians not to mention man. We killed a lot of vietnamese. Yeah. Yeah, we sure did. Well, didn't they call them the the racial slur? Yeah, the zipper slur. Yeah, um because they would run over them so much. Yeah. Yeah, there's Jesus christ. It was really fucking awful But days after kennedy's death lbj rescinded that withdrawal order and began increasing troops It's like opposite day here at the white house The pentagon and the cia finally got their proxy war with the soviets

And big business reaped profits in the billions off the vietnam war over the coming decade Enjoy your cleaning supplies. I mean just as If we're just looking at hard numbers here, uh, america, we, uh, lost a little over 58 thousand lives I don't even know how many, uh, I don't know even know how many wounded we have But I do know that the cost of the vietnam war itself along with how much money We've spent taking care of the veterans of the vietnam war, which of course we should marcus. We don't take care of the veterans We're saving money on top of money We give them an opportunity to take care of themselves

And I don't even know if this is uh adjusted for inflation. Um 900 billion Is how much vietnam costs us. That's that's just that's just that's monetarily and you know, and also how many lives it costs Not to mention what it did to the side not to mention what it did to the psyche of this country How much it tore us apart ruined the generation. Yeah ruined a fuck I mean, I did that there's so many things that vietnam did to absolutely fucking destroy this country and It starts here. You got people spitting on the soldiers who are victims and the whole thing. I mean, it's just it's just horrible It's very very bad. Can you imagine if you imagine if we were drafted us three

I I wonder how long it would take for us to either get shot by our own troops Or just immediately be the funny ones. We'd be essential for morale. Oh, I hope I swear to god. I hope I could do that Yeah, maybe that's the only thing that's your that's my purpose. That's my only purpose It could be like robin williams. I'd be like good. Good afternoon. I'm doing drive time live You guys ready to get the lead out and they're like, I was just shot actually I'd love to get the lead out of my leg Yeah, we'll tell you now this is called this little game a little segment called war of roses where we Be pranked somebody at work. Those are all actors by the way. Yep

So even if the president's enemies were not responsible for his death The bad guys still won and we're all still dealing with the consequences today But now that we've established the why Join us next week and possibly the week after possible fucking fucking possibly for the how On jfk part six. All right, we have yet to get to We got opera 40 full fucking fledged. They're in there. We got badge man Three fucking tramps around god knows what they're doing cover badge man So I can tell he's in your brain is like a little

He has got to get out. We got that guy. We got the mafia We don't where they're fucking gonna show up. They might be fucking everywhere We don't we don't even know which is kind of thing because you think you'd see a mafia guy going with you see You think you'd hear a mafia guy coming with all his chains and From just having a bunch of mozzarella at fucking lunch, but the chains are offset by the silence of valour Yes, yes Into the conspiracy world of jfk. Thank you all so much for listening to jfk part five And we are again, we are gonna get through everything together. Hope everyone is safe out there

Hope you're enjoying the content the best. We're just trying to provide you a little bit of relief And we hope that we are Achieving that goal. Also, we've been getting a lot of messages. I know it's a world of madness out there regarding our tour in april And unfortunately, we do have to postpone the tour. It will be rescheduled for later this year All of your tickets are still valid Thank you all so much for all of the dms talking about how you're excited for the tour And I know there's been a lot of questions So just to clear that up the tour will happen just be postponed and it's nice because then you have something to look forward to

Yeah, and he got something to live for Um, so we are super excited. I hope where this is not the only reason why you're wondering No, but it's always supposed to have something to do in the future And we cannot wait to see you all on the road and we're figuring out the book bullshit. Yes, obviously this is um I'm gonna say a bit of a cluster fuck that we're in the middle of I think that's a good clinical way of talking about it I think so We have a people you guys are asking a lot of very good questions Totally valid really really good questions about where will the books be? How are you going to get the books?

We're working on that. We're figuring that out. Apparently the book industry is a Hundreds year old Industry that we have to figure out how to apply Into modern times a really good way to do it is that if you have not pre-ordered the book yet And you really want to or you want to make sure you get the book go to indie bound Which is a website that where you can find your local independent bookstore and support them because this is a really really important time To help people that have mom-and-pop industries mom-pop businesses because they gotta they need our support Keep our bookstores open. Yes indeed indie bound go there, please

Absolutely Yeah, and just know guys that you know, we're as soon as we know something We'll let you know something too, but we know we just we just ask for patience In this trying time and you know, and honestly, you know instead of worrying about the tour and all that You just worry about keeping yourself safe right now and keeping your keeping yourself safe and keeping yourself healthy That's what really matters and with that said, uh, we are going to provide you more entertainment marcus Uh, you're working on something with this. What this what's this twitch thing I heard about Yeah, I'm going to start doing uh regular twitch streams

On the last podcast network, uh twitch channel Started doing them on uh, wednesday. It was really fun. A lot of people came out and watched me uh play dark souls Uh, so yeah, I might continue the dark souls game. I might continue. I might go on a castlevania symphony of the night run Like I don't know like but yeah, I'm gonna be going on and playing a few days a week And I'm also uh planning on doing uh, just some reading uh to keep people company Like I think I'm going to read in cold blood uh out loud, which is my favorite book and hopefully this will keep people company Uh, because I know a lot of you are very lonely right now. You're stuck in shout out shout outs to the extroverts This is not

Easy help us. I miss bars. I miss restaurants so much But I know there's there's a lot of people lonely and a lot of people inside as you should be right now You should be hunkering down and you should be staying inside and not socializing right now But if you're having a hard time with it, let's I hope that maybe we can help you Feel like you're hanging out with someone so go to twitch.tv Uh and check out uh the last podcast network channel and we don't have like a set schedule just yet Just know that this is coming if you subscribe to it. You'll get a notification for every time we uh do a broadcast Uh, but yeah, we're we're we're hoping to be there for you much much as we can

There's not a hell of a whole lot we can do as entertainers, but shit. We can do this Well, we can sing imagine. There's no uh, whatever Our secluded mansions I think you need a secluded mansion first before you can start joining in on that song Uh, I'm also going to be twitching on there. Give me a lot of fun. Got good. Pood. Oh, Not only you I did this episode with Natalie Jane. You'll do us. Uh me and my beautiful wife Let's do a struggle eating uh sugar-free jello pudding. Um, but man, we're gonna stay alive We're gonna be doing this as hard as possible because we just are getting to the really juicy stuff and I'll in JFK We're just getting to it. It's only took 11 hours. No, yeah, but we are literally about to get to the

To the stuff that really makes you a terrible human being and I think that this is an important time For our quarantined individuals to start really thinking about Coup benefits Don't destroy your family also watch watch frozen or something every now and again too. Uh, and you can find me on only fans this week I'm gonna make a watermelon disappear. Don't ask Hail yourselves everyone Hail Satan Again maghustalations. Hey Satan. Thank you for your gifts keeping us safe

Inhale me. Absolutely if you can. Hail yourselves This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com