Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 409: Gef the Talking Mongoose
Episode Date: May 2, 2020On today's episode, we cover one of the most bizarre hauntings/visitations in the history of UK, and it's exactly what it sounds like. Join us as we explore the adventures of the Irving family on the ...Isle of Man along with their curious companion, Gef the Talking Mongoose.Â
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There's no place to escape to this is the last
You know what I want to start off today, man
It's you know every once in a while feel like we you know do in the show for decade
Uh-huh. Yeah, every once while episode comes up on one of our birthdays
Oh, happy birthday Henry. I'm not asking for that. Well, you are
Henry's a Browsky I will not accept all of this love and affection. I will not I push it and push it away Henry
I have a gift
It's my
Can't believe you just fucking shit in your own hands you animal
That's disgusting by the way, you know what I want to start off today is guys honestly, let's give a big fucking round of applause for Jeff
Now we're gonna be talking a lot about Jeff the talking mongoose today
And I want to say a lot of people are 7 p.m. This week 7 p.m. People going out there
They're applauding for the deep emergency workers love it, but for one one last night. My applause was for Jeff
All right, there it is welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone
I am Ben hanging out with Marcus Parks. Hello staring at the beautiful birthday boy Henry Zabrowski, and I'm just getting younger
Well, that's not how birthdays work. No, no, no, you could tell by the way
My neck is starting to look like the wrinkles in my forehead. Yes indeed more like Benjamin stuffin. Hello here
I am
All right today's episode. I cannot wait to talk about this. I had no idea that this was ever in existence
Not as opposed to most weeks. Um, so today we're gonna talk about Jeff. What's Jeff Jeff the talking mongoose. Yeah, dude
Yeah, we fucking are
It's not that it's not that kind of goose. It's not that kind of goose
You just like making that noise
So the tale of Jeff the talking mongoose took place in the 1930s on a small island between England and Ireland
Called the Isle of Man. During that time a newly arrived family named the Irvings
Claimed to play host to a somewhat unique spirit. Hmm what started off as a run-of-the-mill haunting evolved into
What could almost be described as something close to the John Lithgow classic Harry and the Henderson's? Oh
Cool, although did Harry Harry was abused
Ha ha ha Harry was just of a different ilk. Yeah, they had to grow to understand each other at least get a convertible
For the poor for the for the skunk it come on in this case
The Sasquatch was a mongoose who had mastered the art of human speech now some of you including been here might be
Confused as to what exactly a mongoose is
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you dummy. No, I know what they're like. They're more of a marmot
Yeah, give you a brief primer of mongoose plural mongooses. Is that true? Yes, it is. I looked it up
Very good
They're similar to a weasel or a ferret or a marmot either one or a Martin
Okay, those are around you remember we saw those in Berlin these weird little squirrel little raccoon things that eat up people's cars
And they're so cute, but they just kill them by the fucking dozen in Germany stomping on their heads and poison them and shooting
With guns and shit, but they're so cute. Hmm. Well, amazingly though
It's been found in recent years that while mongooses cannot talk
some you
Conventionally some species of mongoose such as the meerkat the cutest of all mongooses
You actually have their own language that communicates to other meerkats the speed location and type of predator that might threaten the meerkat gang
Can we all remember the scene in Big Lebowski when the nihilist threw the mongoose into the tub with big Jerry and Jeffrey Lebowski?
That was a marmot. That was a marmot
Remember that again, you're being racist against weasels
But this story is unique of in the world of the paranormal lexicon in the world of the weird Jeff the talking mongoose is unique
Because he falls into a bunch of different categories. I've seen Jeff the talking mongoose like top hauntings of the UK
I've seen Jeff the talking mongoose labeled as a cryptid some people that believe that he is an actual physical creature
There's some people that believe that he is a just a phantom. There's some people believe he is an astral
Projection from deep inside of the the the I'm gonna say the dick of all if you listen to CW led better
And you read the astral plane and try to understand that yeah see that actually Jeff the mongoose might just be a living thinking
Astral decahedron
That pokes its way into our universe and becomes a little mongoose so think about that for a while with a fucking edible up your nose
Yeah, absolutely, of course the led better act very very positive Jeff the talking mongoose
Why call it something as mundane as Jeff that was his own choice. That's his name, buddy. Yeah, what?
This episode also gave me a lot of opportunities to just watch footage of mongooses. Yeah, and they are they are dangerous, dude
They couldn't go against him copers. They don't give a fuck
Them copers cuz they got a little bit of immunity, but still they fast man
They jump back and forth and they fall and they bite their little tails. They don't give a shit
They protect the squirrels man. They bite off your Johnson. I
The talk of mongoose that we're speaking of today was called Jeff and in addition to holding full conversations with every member of the
Irving family Jeff was said to be an actual physical being who ate food played with coins and
Even killed rabbits as an offering to the family who gave him a home
Okay, got to dude fucking Jeff the talking mongoose is paying rent. Yeah, sounds like it from what the Irving family said Jeff spoke in a voice
Two octaves higher than a man's in a tone closer to a teenage girl
They said he had knowledge of multiple language
sang popular songs of the day from memory and would even bring gossip from across the island to the Irving's meager farmhouse at
Dorelish Cushion sounds like they should have named him Karen. Oh
Kissles, please leave the Karen's alone
And while you might think Jeff would be a nasty fellow as most supernatural beings who attach themselves to a family are
Walk to be this is ultimately the story of a mostly friendly ghost
Oh, who for reasons known only to him established himself as a member of a lonely family of sheep herders
If I were to use a D&D classification, I would call him chaotic neutral
Yeah, I think that he's neutral and he goes for whatever pleasures him what you're gonna see
Well, whatever helps him and whatever helps Jeff's agenda and what is Jeff's agenda?
He likes bacon without the fat
Loves bacon without the fat as his favorite thing on the face of the planet and whatever it was that got him
Which is in the end truly reveals his most mongoose like nature
He likes little bits of food and he's cute as hell, but also fuck with you throw a bunch of rocks at your head
Did you say he likes bacon without the fat loves bacon without the fat with the fats what makes the bacon so good
But he doesn't he likes the lean okay, he likes the lean which is strange, but that's Jeff man
And this is Jeff's world. We're just living in it. Oh, right
However, the loneliness felt by that family of sheep herders is said by skeptics to be the real source of Jeff the talking mongoose
Some said that the daughter of the Irving family was just an extraordinary
Ventriloquist and created the character of Jeff out of boredom
They also call well
They called her a natural
Ventriloquist that she did it almost against her will those are the original articles that came out painted her as this sort of like
Adept who could just throw her voice around which a lot of experts say
I mean you got to be able to kind of figure out how to physically do it
And if it kind of comes out of nowhere if you're not hearing someone practice venture
You're not hearing someone practicing ventriloquism. I don't think you just get it
But I don't know maybe she's like fucking Neo from the Matrix and they downloaded into her weird little girl
UK brain maybe it's a scary skill ventriloquism. How is it?
You never know who's around how many how many poltergeist are just ventriloquists having fun with you
Well, how many times are you gonna be on a date with a ventriloquist, right?
And you're sitting there and and how many times is gonna do the trick you're like, oh, baby
I'm right behind you and you're like cool, you know, but you know as a woman. I'm actually scared of a man behind me
I don't know what dating is like
I've never kissed a woman. I'm a ventriloquist
Then the father out of his own boredom
Picked up on his daughter's
imaginative creation and took it even further and the mother not wanting to be left out
Joined in two and over time the family convinced themselves that Jeff was indeed real or so the skeptics say
So the dad is being a real LeVar ball for those that don't know LeVar ball triple B triple B brand Lonzo balls dad
He's a real pain in the ass
What he's trying to use his children for profit. Well, no, he never he never searched for profit
Okay, it could be said that Jeff might have been the world's longest most elaborate dad joke a
Character developed by a father to entertain his bored teenage daughter
That got way out of hand and ended up essentially ruining his daughter's life. Hey, she could at least she could have become a comedian
Yeah, I mean, so this is a lesson to all the dads out there
It is not funny to what's a classic dad joke? I'm trying to think of them. Yeah, classic dad jokes dad. I'm hungry. Hi, hungry
I'm dad. Oh, yeah, that's a good one
That's my dad used to do this my dad used to do a running bet
We'd go you kids better stop behaving because if not, I'm gonna take off my belt
And you know what happens when I take off my belt and we all the whole family would go you pay its fall down
Oh, yeah, that's the punchline. No, he never he never hit us my father never beat us
He never beat us once. He just wasn't there. Yeah, the opposite of perfect
However, there are also people with more open minds who follow that same train of thought but end up in a different place entirely
Some speculate that the Irvings did in fact create Jeff, but through the power of psychic energy
And these people think that it is possible that the Irvings collectively willed a talking mongoose into being as a thought-form
Energy ghost also known as a Tulpa. Do I have to reference the kids from the movie hook again?
How they how they thought food existed and it happened. You know what? It's kind of like that. Okay, those kids all still would have died
Yeah, that's possible and something that this Tulpa was strong enough to actually interact with the outside world
Essentially for those of you, you know, if you've never heard the Tulpa episode that we did many many many years ago
A Tulpa is essentially a being that someone is able to create using only the powers of their own mind
Cool
And there is debate about whether or not it has to be purposefully created because there was serious examples of a bunch of
Scientists trying to create a Tulpa purposefully and they talked about how Buddhists monks
They also would go ahead and create Tulpas to help them around their various monasteries
But then they get minds of their own and do whatever they want
But there's some people that believe that you might be able to accidentally
Create a Tulpa might simply just feeding into a thought loop of a character that you create
And then the more and more you build up this character the more and more it builds to begin because if you believe they the book the
Astral plane we're sitting in a
Goop we're sitting in a constant swamp of
Astral energy that reacts to our thoughts and our words like the fucking slime from Ghostbusters 2
But what it can do is that you can build enough of a moan of it that it pokes through the astral plane into ours and creates
Sometimes a little mongous and who doesn't believe the book of the astral plane everyone does so interesting the unlike Jessica
Rabbit not all Tulpas have to have big boobs
Apparently, but they should but they should really really should well
I don't know if this talking mongoose needs to have big boobs
I think that would hurt. I would honestly I'd love to see it
This is my question though if you would put boobs on a talking mongoose
You would have to put him on the back because if you put them on the front then you got dragon boobs now next thing
You know you just got bloody nipple juice all over the place which that's gonna hurt the mongoose and your flooring
So then it's then you got boobs on the back. There's a whole bunch of problems
There's a lot of logical problems. I'm fine problems. You put tits in the back of Jeff. He becomes some kind of prison wife
So over the course of this story, we're gonna explore the question of what exactly Jeff was
Was he a tulpa? Was he a hoax? Was he a fairy spirit a classic trickster of your a hope?
Or was this an actual physical
Biological mongoose who learned how to talk of his own accord a guy's breaking the answer is yes
Well it might be helpful at the very beginning to hear possibly the most
Illuminating quote from Jim Irving the patriarch of the Irving clan concerning Jeff the talking mongoose. He said quote
No one would ever and it's such a bloody silly story. That's a thing
This is a silly story. In fact
In fact, some might say it's bordering on stupid
But no matter how silly the story was the fact remains that the Irvings believed in it wholeheartedly
Not only did the Irvings believe in it their neighbors believed in it various reporters saw it
People heard it again and again. It actually kind of
Even if this wasn't some sort of giant group
Trick like remember that viral story like they did back in the day the March 7th that that old state Patrick's Day YouTube video
Where a group of town like town like acted like there was a leprechaun and then like oh
Gotta get that gold like it's like and my you know my my father left me this this
Leprechaun called in flute and all that kind of shit
They it could be that but if not it kind of has like a body of existence
There's a bunch of people that are and that's why Jeff the talking mongoose is a it's a thing that it's hard to shake
It's kind of sticking around it hasn't yet been fully debunked except from people just straight up saying there is no Jeff
The talking mongoose. Well, would you could say about fucking birds man? You could you could say that about the moon?
Well, regardless of the status of Jeff's existence though
He was for a brief moment in time
national news in the UK and Jeff's existence was investigated as a serious supernatural phenomena by some of the most respected
Psychical researchers of the time. So this is what happens when you don't have school shootings
They make up crisps. It's nothing but stories about crisps horrible jokes and Jeff the talking mongoose
Now while the burden of proof was definitely on the Irving family when it came to Jeff's existence
It's Henry said this story was never
definitively proven to be a hoax and the daughter involved in this story maintained up until the
1970s that the whole thing was true even if it kind of sort of ruined her life
Why did yeah, okay? We're gonna get into that. We're gonna get into that. How does that happen?
We're gonna get into it now while you may think that the story of a talking mongoose would be a short and sweet affair
You'd be mistaken. God dammit
No, I mean I want this to go on for days
Because author Christopher Joseph wrote a solid 400 pages on Jeff the talking mongoose in a book succinctly called Jeff
Wow, like like Jeff. I know Jeff. No, it's like his Broadway debut Jeff
He is cuz he's a star man. Jeff is a fun guy. Jeff reminds me of Elmer from brain damage where he is
He's this kind of floating
Whatever you want him to be he's gonna be to you and to your family
Okay, but if you read Jeff we got an opportunity because of our buddy Neil our man in the UK
He gave us the opportunity to read this book because it's out of print
And it's one of my favorite books about the paranormal. I've read in a bunch of years
It is it is compelling and it's why I'm here with the Jeff tattoo underneath my left breast
400 pages quite a tome 400 pages
Yeah
Now stories of friendly if inconvenient visitations from entities are not unheard of in the realm of the supernatural in
1956 20 years after Jeff a girl named Shirley Hitchings in London
Communicated with an entity calling itself Donald who declared itself to be the ghost of Louis the 17th
The 10 year old would be king who died in captivity during the French Revolution
Is that how we're doing time now AG BG BG before Jeff AG after Jeff that's how I feel
However Donald claimed that he had escaped prison
But it really drowned while trying to swim to freedom across the English Channel in this case
The ghost became a companion and gave the nickname of Chib to his chosen companion
Also, I want to point out this to everyone who just said Jeff starts with a J
It actually starts with a G in this case. So hello, you just got trolled. Well, you got that. It's that weird Jeff
It's the other Jeff which is always like a I would ever see a Jeff it like a GEO FF Jeff
I always expect him to be wearing glasses
because of a J E FF I've always imagined he's I
Always imagine he's cutting up a bunch of Filipino man and
Taking her penises and put him in a big fucking pot and making an altar to the Lord of Death and shit like that
So if I meet you and your name is Jeff, that's that's what I'm thinking
Highly isolated situation that you just referred to that we can't go into for legal reasons
Well, mostly this little girl and Donald talked with each other through writing messages back and forth
Mostly discussing boys
Particularly the British child actor Jeremy Spencer whom the young Louis had a particular obsession with
Oh, yeah, that's so cute though. Just you and she's just like me and my chib
Talking about boys who used to be a king. That's fun. What's it like my gentle king saying like stuff like that
That's new Gen Z stuff. That's cool
So Louis the lady Louis the girl and not a girl. No, it was a boy. Oh, that's the boy
It was a boy that was obsessed with another boy. Ah, I see. Have you ever met a woman named Louis?
No, that's why I thought it was interesting. I thought we were talking about the little girl
Oh, no, no
Another case back in the 1800s a Quaker family outside of Newcastle was visited by an entity known as old Jeffrey
What started off as a classic poltergeist haunting evolved into visitations from a menagerie of ghostly animals
Including a white cat and a little monkey. That's cute. Yeah
Even as recently as the 1990s
There was the centra homa stone throw and spook who announced his existence by throwing rocks at the home of a simple
Oklahoma farm family and the spirit eventually learned how to speak English by watching TV with its hosts now aside from the London
Haunting of Louis the 17th the other two stories share a similarity
Both stories occurred in relative
Isolation and the Irving family who played host to Jetha talking mongoose was no different
Hey, the Irving's were new arrivals to the Isle of Man
Having moved there to live a simple life of sheep tenders after the patriarch Jim Irving lost his job with a dominion organ and piano
Company after the pipe organ business collapsed during World War one. Oh
Man, those are some cold-ass pipes. Oh, what a horrible time it was for the pipe organ in
And it was when I think of World War one and World War two I think of mostly the devastation of the pipe organ
And I just feel like but I will say it made way for the electric guitar because the pipe organ was just sitting in that slot
And it's so hard to bring a pipe organ to gigs
As far as what they did on the Isle of Man, they did what pretty much everyone on the Isle did to make a living
They were in the business of livestock owning sheep goats a dozen geese and a few chickens
Now the Isle of Man itself is a beautiful yet desolate and difficult place to live
Hmm an island where the crows are so big and aggressive
They attack sheep and the chickens are in constant danger of being carried off by huge hawks
Yeah, dude, it's like Jurassic Park, but with bad food
I'm gonna say this. I'm team crow TV always have been
I think they're so cool
But that's so scary man. It's cotton. What if you're a little guy?
Man, I I could probably be picked up by four Isle of Man crows
But I would eventually talk them into my service and use them like Gandalf
I'll get indeed sand and birds to pick up my even tinier boys. They're doing my missions fucking for me, dude
Gandalf was a delegator
Yes, he was the gym was not a naturally talented rancher and usually had to supplement his meager earnings with extra work for more
Successful farmers in exchange for a sack of potatoes. All right. I just got a question
What is he naturally talented rancher just someone born with with shovels for hands?
I'm just a natural I just took to it right away. What's how do you become a natural rancher?
Ask a not natural rancher Marcus Park's much to the disappointment of his father and his father's father
His hands are basically shovels
Do you why do you think that the only fucking technique you need to be a successful rancher is digging because you've only told me that?
All you do is dig fence holes that is mostly what it is. That is a big part of it. Yes digging
I'm just going by the evidence that you have presented. I know nothing about ranchers because of the fact that you were not great at it
And your family kicked you out of the house. I don't know what your story is
I don't know what story is but it was because Marcus was the Joffrey to use another fucking eight-year-old reference
It doesn't matter anymore. He was the Joffrey of their family where he was like, I only luck to take the holes
That was what he was good at. That was his entertainment. I'm just happy you're up to date with Game of Thrones
Also, I don't remember Joffrey having a penchant for digging holes. I don't know. Oh, what am I stopped watching it?
I stopped watching it. I gave up. All right. What am I hearing? Let's get back to the mongus. Oh, look at mongus
Oh, let me talk a little bit about the Irving's the Irving's they were actually kind of like well-to-do where they were from
They were city people they went they kind of lived a fun life when the pipe organ industry fell out like so many other
Haunted ghoul church people they lost their jobs
So they thought they wanted to go to a simple life and go to the Isle of Man
But what happened was is that because it's so isolated they kind of became pariahs
They kind of became like very unpopular people within this small community because they were they were in a very hard
Farm they were in a very hard patch of land to begin with that also, you know, we'll get into it might have been vaguely haunted
Okay, there's something about them being isolated
That harkens back to the idea of witches and their familiars
There is a story about how like oftentimes witches would be fished back in the day
The reason why they would be accused of this behavior was because they were unpopular and because they live far away from everybody else
You start to begin like stories about them. So things kind of already started
bubbling up to the surface
About the Irving family very early on. All right, so there's kind of the weird family that people tell stories about yeah
And they're really not even that weird. They're just not from the Isle of Man. Okay. Yes
As far as Margaret Irving went the wife. She seemed to be built for farm life at least physically
She was said to be of why re constitution and strong physique
And would often walk four miles both ways through rough terrain to see her mother when she fell ill and Margaret
Could do so without getting tired a hardy woman. She was a horse
And she had beautiful eyes honestly very mesmerizing eyes people would often call her they believed her to be
In touch with the other side now
I mean one interesting thing about Margaret is that certain paranormal investigators who visited the farm during the Jeff years
Said that they got a specific witchy vibe from her and had life gone a different way
Margaret might have become a witch. What does that even mean? She just didn't smell like
Cow shit. What does that mean? She see chick. She just dressed like Stevie Nicks float around. All right
Then there was the daughter Vora
Despite moving to the Isle of Man at the age of 13
Vora adapted to farm life quickly and was soon killing rabbits for food and sale all on her own
Without a hint of squeamishness. She kind of reminds me of the description of the woman who wrote a tree grows in Brooklyn
Or she was very sullen, but also kind of like into herself
She it's like a picture of a teenager from now like on this time period
Kind of dropped into that time period where she loved getting her picture taken but she hate being seen in person
She loved like she liked these kind of
Fashiony things but she also was very kind of private and she said that she would often walk the areas around
Doorlish cash in and singing to herself and kind of in a witchy mode as well
It was kind of a little bit of an Adams family, which I gives me it gives me comfort
Yeah, of course and you nailed it man cuz 13 year old girls. They love killing rabbits
That's the trend. I was just following down on Instagram killing rabbits
If this was nowadays she would be on the McDonald's triangle McDonald's
She might be a serial killer
But Bora like all the Irving's was an extremely intelligent well-spoken person
Which is another thing that set them apart from the local Manx community of simple farm folk
Who didn't have much use for all that fancy talking on the Isle of Man?
Oh rednecks are the same everywhere, but why didn't why didn't they take to singing?
Why don't they sing like the sound of music? No, just like I mean honestly much
It's much different than that. It's much darker than that given the history of this country, but music comes from the farm
Yeah, but why not why not there music comes from the farm music comes for people farming together
Kissel they weren't farming those are slave workers
That's that's how they pass the time there's a passing of I owned I watched the Johnny Cash documentary
He used they used to sing his father would beat him and he killed his brother on accident
Now the spot the Irving's chose as their homestead was called Dorlish Cushen and the house in which they lived was thought to be at
least 130 years old although its style of construction
Suggested that it might have been much older
The area around Dorlish Cushen had a witchy feel because it was dotted with prehistoric burial mounds and
And cairn circles which may or may not have been used in ancient druid rituals and may or may not
Be related to the ancient land of Faye
Now there's there was a lot of talk about this part of the Isle of Man being the land of the fairies
The fairies as we know come in many many different forms
We know them as the they can be called elementals where they are just literally spirits that live inside of rocks or they are
mischievous entities that live off of the
Interaction between themselves and humankind that we help them like the alien phenomena
We help create them with our participation or and they also sometimes show up
There's some research about how tiny little furry creatures were often seen as the familiars of witches that they would say a lot of times
They would either show up
Unbeknownst to them they'd have these little creatures just show up and join in their league with Satan or whatever the hell
It is that they were doing or they
Purposely called them out and made in a relationship with the Faye and sometimes they would turn into a cute little creature because it's fun
The only thing I know about fairies is they wear boots according to King Ozzy Osbourne
I still don't know what that lyric means, but it's a great song
You gotta believe me
Well no matter what
Doorless kitchen was known to be a place where strange things happened
Years before the Irving's arrived men digging for some unknown reason found a funerary urn containing mysterious black ashes
They reburied the urn and some years later a young man hunting rabbits was pushed back by an invisible force on the exact spot
Where the urn had been buried way back when suggesting some sort of paranormal significance to the object
Years later a drunk who happened to be sober on the night in question
He said that he was followed by a ghost near doorlish kitchen for three miles and the ghost kept him company
By singing hymns and trying to convince him to lead a better life. It's like yeah, man
I don't need a fucking astral sponsor right now. I'm trying to get home
And the ghost looked like a large pink elephant almost like he was going through delirium trance
Then of course are the tales of local folklore the Manx as they call themselves
Believed in the scare goonish egg. Is that how you say that? It's the closest I can come we'll go with it
I tried to listen to some of the Manx Gaelic and wow that is fucking thick dude. Yeah
It's like a whole other language or something. It really is. I mean, it's not quite Gaelic. It's not quite English
It's it's Manx Manx
Now the Skae gun the shag was a malicious ghost who would torment nip and pinch its victims as they tried to sleep
Oh for no apparent reason the other local fairy creature was the feign jury
Okay, these trickster spirits said to be a fairy origin were mischievous
Temporal or helpful depending on how said finita ree was approached
Those are just that those are just the emotions of every human being on earth
But you got to we because again these things have their own agendas when we talk about the Anakian world to everyone's
incredible enjoyment
You understand that when you meet or you believe that you meet if you believe so hard that you're meeting an entity from another realm
You have to understand it's make sure if you believe this is this is full on magical
Hullabaloo, so just come with me if you believe and want them to work with you
You got to come at them on their level. You got to incept them
You got to go and and make them it has to be their decision to help you
Yeah, and these creatures, you know the the creatures the fey hobbs brownies and the like, you know
They can either help or they can destroy so you might be nice, but that's the thing. It's never with Maoists
Only because the fey are said to be ignorant of the needs of man. They don't know what's best for us
They're trying to do their own thing. They have their own agenda, and they're either unable or unwilling to learn what's best for humankind
the book the astral plate
talks about how an
An entity from the other side sees our world right imagine that we our world is one level of density
And then there's like eight worlds on top of this world
They're all varying levels of things that we can touch the one right above us is where something like this would be one of these
Weird little fairy creatures, but when they see us they see us from all sides like we appear like a kind of like a
Picasso like painting like one of those things were appear flat
They see every one of our angles and not only see that but they see every little bit of like the earth energies inside of us all
The cells all radiating energy at a time and then there's the egg-shaped
Astral like would you see an aura pictures that you get if you go to like a fun rap party or you go to like a girl's bachelor party
You go to those one of those aura pictures
There's that that they have to then kind of interpret because to them that's the only real thing our meat bodies mean nothing to them
They just see these orbs, so they're constantly trying to figure out how we work like we have to figure out how they work
Where is a much of a curiosity to them as they are to us? Isn't that interesting?
Mm-hmm. It's not to some some people don't find it interesting, but I find it interesting
when we examine the story of Jeff the talking mongoose it seems as if he was much more a spirit of the trickster variety but
Ultimately harmless if indeed Jeff was what the Irving's said he was
starting in September of
1931 the Irving family was first visited by an entity that eventually identified itself as quote a ghost in the form of a weasel
Now certain people in the psychical game had much to say concerning Jeff's provenance
Some of them speculated that the Irvings were actually highly psychic individuals
Particularly Jim and Margaret and that through nothing more exotic than excruciating boredom
They communed with a spirit already present at Darlish Cushion and willed it into physical being
But no matter the means of Jeff's conjuring the story that the Irvings told was that his appearance was slow to come
Because it would be absolutely ridiculous to assume that a fully formed talking mongoose just appeared in their fucking kitchen one day
Yeah, that's ridiculous
No, if it's over time if it appeared
What is this fucking Sesame Street? No, this is the Isle of Man darling
Now at first the family just called the spirit Jack because the creature had no physical form in the beginning at first
It was just making noise
Something closer to a poltergeist and it took a while before it began to directly communicate
Hmm Jim Irvings first instinct was that they merely had a clever flesh-and-blood creature
So he tried blocking its entrance into the home by filling in all the cracks in the walls and the floors of the house
But still the fucking thing got in can I just say this?
Maybe you should do it anyway. Just if you've got a big hole in your wall
Just cover it just in case need a reason unless it's a peephole and you don't want to plaster it
But that's for different things altogether. Indeed it is. I was watching that documentary called rats and these fucking things can fit through a hole
It's only two inches big
So you got to cover all these holes if you think you got some kind of magical fucking mongoose in there
Especially if he's coming from inside the house
He's coming from your fucking brain when I had that rat in my apartment for a month, which is still giving me PTSD
It could have snuck into my dick hole that thing. I tried everything
It could have snuck into your fucking dick hole. You better start plastering up your nose and your mouth before going to sleep
It's gonna crawl inside of your body. That was horrible. I hated that thing
Then whatever it was started eating the family's food while they slept and since they seemed to have no choice
They started leaving out snacks for their new resident and thus began a relationship with the entity
Which is interesting because that is what you do to appease the Faye. Mm-hmm. So they
Accidentally if it's true that they ran into something that some form of elemental that was already there that is now
Responding to their presence. They're encouraging it and saying okay. Here you go
We will allow you into your home
Which is how you're supposed to handle the Faye because if not they steal your fucking microphones and your belts
I know that so what does Jeff the talking mongoose like to eat? He liked bacon without fat
He liked chocolate quite a bit. Oh, he did like biscuits. What is this the Met Gala? That's nice stuff. He's cute
He's European
a just existence might have been an extended bit that got out of hand and it might have all been imaginary
But as we said the fact remains that Jim Margaret and Vora believed in Jeff the talking mongoose
Until the day they died
Now at first Jim said Jeff's speech was nonsense. He said it sounded like this hit quote
Oh
He said he wants a biscuit
I'm sorry. I'm speaking puffin
Eventually though that progressed to barks and Jim
Responded by imitating various animals and Jeff would repeat those noises back to him
That carried on for a few weeks along with simple conversation and before Jim knew it Jeff was fluent in English
Why do I feel like Charles Manson had the same conversation with the same entity in his jail cell?
The past like 40 years of his life. This is straight up an isolation fever dream. Hey Jeff
Let me ask you something. You know how to eat pussy
Well golly gee I don't but I sure hope to learn
You went to the wrong cell go talk to sir had sir had maybe he knows more
But from what Jim speculates Jeff was just pretending to not speak English and this little game was just to ease the family
And to accepting his existence because it's a thing Jeff showed up and kind of like fits and starts which sort of goes back
To Henry's theory that this is poking through from the astral plane. It doesn't come out all at once
It merely begins to evolve and the people that see it the people that interact with it
They add their own bullshit to that entity
They are manipulating the astral plane with their thoughts and energies and creating the only thing the way
I could truly describe it as a paranormal hernia
Going through the layer and it makes and it does affect your work
That does make a lot of sense
It also reminds me of when you when you move into a Brooklyn apartment and you're like I want to get rid of this
Key lime colored wall and you try to paint it over white, but then slowly but surely the key lime color comes right on through
Thing was this tactic of easing them into it
It worked
Oh the family was not frightened of the entity at all and approached the existence of Jeff with an air that was more curious
Than fearful they were soon teaching him nursery rhymes and Jeff was able to repeat those nursery rhymes for badum
And Jeff became Andrew Jeff clay
You it's it's that simple. Yeah, just trying to add more to it than it's there
But that's why dice was such a poet such a poet such a publicity of language
Concerning paranormal undertones though Jim said that in the early days Jeff sometimes made a noise that was similar to threshing or churning
The only other time Jim heard that noise was when he sometimes heard it
Around two local women who were said to be deep into the witchcraft game
He said that noise followed them and he heard that same noise when Jeff was around
They were just trying to get him a leave like hey, maybe if we make a couple of witch noises
He'll go away because he's been staring at my little cut shirt for quite a bit of time
And I'm sick of sharing my mangos with him. Absolutely
I mean, it's probable that these people these two women were just in a lesbian relationship
And then they had to just be like no, they're definitely witches that don't get happened a lot. Yes, it did
So by October Jeff had reached physical form and both Jim and his daughter Vora saw the creature with their own eyes
They described it as having a small rat-like body with a long bushy tail and yellowish fur
Speckled with brown spots, okay
Matt naturally drew attention of the press who at this time were usually quite keen to report on any and all
Supernatural goings-on because the spiritualist movement of the early 20th century was beginning to evolve into the realm of
Psychical research so it was it was a legitimate thing to cover in the press. This was a paranormal boom
At the time like
Sess with it. You have that you had the theosophical society ready go and then that the the fairy research society
All of these different groups were like making money. Yeah during this time period and getting government help
And as we'll see it involved like judges and shit like like really technically like
Trustworthy human beings. I think it's very good that you weren't in this time for us
For you it would have been great Henry because you would have had real wizard power and then you've been like she's a witch
I know she's a witch you would have killed so many people
I mean that's the days that there was actually, you know some rumors that Alistair Crowley
Worked with Winston Churchill during World War two. Where did those rumors start?
Alistair Crowley. Yeah, definitely started with him and it working with Winston Churchill probably had to be getting him a couple of
Younger males that were super excited about showing it the prime minister their buttholes
I could see Alistair being the bottom to Winston Churchill just Winston's
Putting his belly on his back
Going to town. He's very stressed out. He's got to kill a lot of people, you know
I tell you what mr. Crowley I may be drunk, but you have a terrible asshole
I'll be sober in the morning. Oh
Oh, the press named the creature the Darby spook and pretty soon
The story had jumped from the Isle of Man over to England and the farm was overrun by sightseers
Hoping to catch a glimpse of the curious ghost and Jim said that the invasion of looky-loos
Actually proved that he wasn't in it for the money
He wasn't paid by the press and in fact lost money because the crowds who came looking for the talk and mongoose
Caused quite a bit of property damage. Honestly, he should have charged
No, because then it shows that he was doing it to create a theme park on the Isle of Man
And this is not Beetlejuice
He did not he did not do that
But the rest of the Isle of Man did not particularly enjoy the influx of Jeff tourists coming onto their land
However, some of the people who came to look see actually testified to Jeff's existence at least 15 people who visited the farm over the years
Said they had interactions with Jeff and Jim said he had a signed statement from three local fishermen
Who attested to the same?
That's more than the amount of people that could say that JD Salinger was alive after he wrote the goddamn book that he wrote that killed
That killed Lenin. It's also very difficult to get fishermen to sign anything
I don't think a fisherman a professional fisherman has filled out a census since the beginning of the census
But I also am glad and he decided to trust fishermen because you know of all of the sportsmen in the world
The the fishermen are never known to lie
No, no
At first the haunting was somewhat cute and limited mostly to annoying knocks and wraps
That evolved into various bits of speech emanating from what Jeff called his sanctum
Which was a small storage space in the corner of a room where the walls didn't quite touch the ceiling
Isn't that sad for every husband? This is a bit of a stereotypical joke, but like that's his place
Yeah, it's like you get your sanctum. It's up there. It's in the corners that you buy it's two by two
So if you can't fit in there, sorry, that's your fucking sanctum. Yeah, not to be too road comic
But men are told where they're allowed to exist inside of their homes
But when the presence of Jeff became more of a nuisance than a lark the Irving family went on the offensive
They left a piece of bread covered in rat poison in Jeff's sanctum
But they found that the creature wasn't so easy to kill
Instead Jeff got even more annoying after eating the poison screaming for 20 minutes
Uninterrupted using a noise that sounded like in the words of the Irving family a pig having a horseshoe nail pushed through its snout
Just all day long
You're trying to get used to the mongoose in your home
And then you probably ask it to leave and then you poison it and it's not working and then it's just going
For hours
I don't know why they tried to poison it
Even with Jeff finally calmed down. He still spent 30 minutes sighing and moaning
How would you react if you're invited for dinner and you find out they tried to poison you?
Yeah, you fucking kept feeding me. That's my thing man. It's been like I'm a houseguest
You kept beating me you could have stopped leaving out food and then some vegetables gotta go find other food
They tricked them they tricked them and one of their first back-and-forth communications with Jeff
They asked him why why are you screaming? Why are you boning and groaning and very simply he said quote?
I did it for the devil man. You did it for the for the government
No, fuck the government
Fuck the government off. Oh, believe it. We should burn down the wardows
That's Jeff saying it
I did it for the devil man. Oh for the devil man
That's a fun term I'm gonna start saying that devil man's wonderful
Yeah, after that the gloves came off for a little while between Jeff and the Irving's
He'd threaten Jim's daughter of aura and throw stones at her while she slept
So the Irving's moved for his bed into their room temporarily at least until Jeff calmed down
Jeff reacted by thumping the walls and screaming at him the whole time. They were moving the bed saying quote
But after Jeff composed himself
He told them the borough could go back to a room and he promised to never hurt the family again. I promise
And in this he kept his promise. Oh good was an honest little mongoose. That's very nice
for the next few years Jeff and the Irving family lived in peaceful coexistence about the worst Jeff did was
Occasionally spit at the family and from time to time he would urinate in the house. Oh, that does happen
So does Wendy so do I there's so many things you sometimes you just gotta you got a pee
You know, but it is weird. That is one of those that gets into the poltergeist area where a lot of times
Poltergeist activity is seen where there's like puddles of foul smelling
Stuff which in this word where they're basically saying it's well like fucking mongoose piss
Hmm, and then there was some kind of little creature piss inside of their house
But it seems like with the amount of holes they had inside of their home
It might have been a little creature piss inside of the house that Jeff was just happy to take it and be like he's like al-Qaeda
He just claimed it. Yeah, I think it's probably Jeff the talking mongoose
Yeah
But even so Jeff was fucking annoying. Yeah once when Jim and his wife were about to engage in marital relations
What is that?
They was fucking days was fucking days about to fuck
All right, good for them. Jeff went outside the house and started yelling about what was about to go down in the bedroom
In opposites so they're about to
All right, you can watch as fuck see how it's done see how the lady takes me even walk a tugboat coming into the
Forers just sitting to the side
Traumatized not an easy day
But by December instead of spreading around the bedroom habits of his hosts
Jeff was bringing gossip from around the island back to the house
Although that gossip was mostly from workers on local road crews and that holds into the history of witchcraft
Very often the use of familiars the ones that would actually use
Use their familiars. This was a common behavior where they would go and report on them on shit and come back kind of like that
again like the daemons in
Was it Phil Pullman's the Golden Compass like that that series where it's like they would go and come back
Sometimes they did it against the witches will where the creature would go out and come back and tell them a bunch of gossip and a
Witch literally would be like stop it. I don't want to know. I'm trying to have plausible deniability
Right. Yeah
One fun thing about the work crew though is that on one occasion a crew member said he dropped a piece of bread on the ground and
Later saw it moving towards a hedge
Seemingly carried by an invisible force that he knew was not the wind. He said it wasn't a windy day
And how do you know that because it wasn't a windy day? Okay? He was outside
All right, because he wasn't wearing any clothes and he knows that when his body hairs ain't moving
There ain't no wind ain't no wind outside. So by 1932 the entity proclaimed that he preferred to be called Jeff
Spelled with a G and one F remember it
It's very easy to remember and he claimed that he had been born 80 years before in India
And had been chased out of the country by a man in a green turban accompanied by a hunt pack
Well, that really doesn't isolate it
We got a lot of people we got a look for then and you know, it's interesting. Okay, here we go
Very similar to the UFO phenomena when you speak with aliens, especially old-school alien visitations
They lie when they even see little creatures. They'll think there's stories, right?
Jack valet did a good compilation of stories of like weird little long-nosed
Workmen that you'd see in a field like old-timey UFO sightings and they would say stuff like we're from the moon and you come up with us
And our hot-air balloon and there but their hot-air balloon was a fucking UFO and they're just talking and whatever is the day-to-day
Things that people would understand number one a way to cut using pulling from images from our consciousness to help bridge the gap in
Communication between two wildly different species and ways of living types of intelligence different planes and then they also
Feel like they need to give you an explanation. They feel like humans need to be calmed down
Us chimps need to be told a bunch of bullshit fucking context because we can't just sit and accept a
Enix relationship with the astral they have to contextualize it and say something like yeah
I'm I am an Indian mongoose. I come from a place a physical place 80 years ago
So you can buy me because the more you believe in me the more I can hang out in this plane of existence
They like being there. All right. I love it. Who wouldn't want to be in the early 20th century 19th century 20th century 20th century
Yeah 19th century. That was a while ago. Yeah, that's a very fun time for a mongoose. Yeah 1930s who's before things got harsh
It's a great time for mongoose actually. Yeah, well soon after Jeff gave himself a name a newspaper called the Daily Dispatch
Published another Jeff story printing the headline and this is possibly my favorite headline of all time
Manweasel mystery grips Island
This is the beginning of the end. Oh god
I can't wait to see the same almost the same headline when kissle finally goes fucking amok
And it says man moose mystery grips New York Island. Yes, indeed
Man moose runs amok in Manhattan. Yeah, it's the man moose. I know that man. My run
We mean he slowly walked after he got a little tired
Now there was a reason why they called Jeff a man weasel
Jim Irving told people that he thought that they were dealing with a manimal of sorts
Oh a hybrid with the body of a weasel like creature in the mind of a man and for some reason this creature
Chosen doorless kitchen as his home, okay
Jim also entertained the possibility that Jeff was the result of a crossbreed between a weasel and a ferret and the
Combination of the two species had resulted in an unusual throat formation
that gave it the power of speech and
heightened man
Intelligence, I don't know why in my mind
I find the weirdest explanation to be that it is in fact the physical talking mongus
Of all of them like whether it's a fey or a ghost or any other of the weird paranormal versions of it
I kind of buy but there's something like to me kind of like weirdly frightening
About a weasel with man hands looking at you going like I'm from India like if I saw that
Like I know
I'd have to go to a fucking hospital. Absolutely. I don't want James Corden from the movie cats and
In a mongoose if I saw James Corden from cats on my lawn. I'd fucking shoot it and fucking belly. So it died slow
You have that right
Well concerning how Jeff talked
Jim was let in on the secret
Jeff claimed that a mongoose can speak if he is taught and left it that
It's like dangerous minds. Cool
But still the reporter who wrote the man weasel story. He had a little bit of fun with it. He wrote quote
Had I heard a weasel speak? I do not know
But I do know that I have heard today a voice which I should never have imagined could issue from a human throat
That the people who claim it was the voice of the strange weasel seem sane
Honest and responsible folk are not likely to indulge in a difficult long drawn out
An unprofitable practical joke to make themselves the talk of the world
And that others have had the same experience as myself
Signed Truman Capote. This was his first piece actually
He got a lot better
This is so is this either the greatest journalistic assignment or like
Are you the dumbest person at the office and they want to get rid of you?
I don't know. I can't tell. I think it's both. I think actually it's both
You are lucky enough to be the dumbest person to get the talk and weasel story
Were we leading up to like a massive world war at this point?
There was a lot going on in Germany at this point that should have been covered instead of Jeff the talking mongoose
Yeah, it almost seems like the lack of coverage is what allowed it to blossom into what it became
But I'm glad we got this story though
even though you know
We got many episodes out of the Nazis. So technically we should be thankful to them. That's a that's a fun way to get in trouble
Now this was actually one of the rare occasions when Jeff actually spoke for a visitor
Or at least a visitor heard him when Jeff refused to speak to the reporter initially the reporter left
But when he got outside the door, he actually heard Margaret
Consoling Jeff telling him that the gentleman had gone away and everything is okay now and to this Jeff replied quote
He has not I can hear him whispering. I won't talk for these people. They're all liars
Oh Jeff and it's possible that this dispersion caused that same reporter to also throw the Irving's under the bus
Just because Jeff called them fake news, huh?
But he heard it got in police from inside the house
We'll get into it
In that same article the reporter speculated that daughter Vora was perhaps a highly talented ventriloquist
And pointed out in the newspaper that this teenage girl didn't have any friends
Oh my what is wrong with this this guy is such an asshole
Her life was fucking just decimated in teenager terms like
Why should he say that show the whole world how dumb she is and how
Lonely she is and how all she does is make up voices all by herself and she lives with the fucking weasel
I mean also never be on the yearbook squad in school after this shit. She lives on the isle of man
It's just a bunch of garbage pale kids around. Who is she supposed to hang out with there's no other 13 year olds
There's a probably a couple of like rough farm boys that she wished she could sit on the lap of
And now they won't look at her because she's fucking got mongoose juice all over. I don't think that would stop them
Well other newspapers went a little more sensational such as the peel city guardian
They went full cryptid with the story claiming that jeff terrorized both the Irvings and their neighbors with hissing breath
And a terrifyingly high-pitched voice
They also claim that jeff had the body of a weasel
The head of a pig
And great glowing eyes
They loved the amalgam
The body of a pig
The favorite youtube video
I don't know what it was about old timey cryptid reporting and stuff. They love mixing up different animals
I wonder if that's just because that's kind of a bible thing
Well, the chimera is a pretty common creature in mythology specifically like greek mythology and also like the book of revelations
Like you said with the bible, but yeah, they really do enjoy chimeras in this period of time
They're like swapping the parts, which I get it's fun. It's fun to think about
I mean you look a lot of coda arms
Throughout england a lot of them have chimeras great like a griffin to chimera all that type of shit
So yeah, they they enjoy it. It really depends though
You have a you know the the head of a pig the body of a cow and the cock of a chicken
That'd be weird. Yeah, I don't want a chicken's cock. I want the cock of a pig
I want the head of a chicken and I want the body of an owl
That's kind of fun, right? We don't we just don't get to choose do we?
Well after the article was published a reader wrote in and said that the pig face
Suggested that maybe they were dealing with a mongoose instead of a weasel and everyone just sort of rolled with this guy's assessment
Yep, love this guy. Yep. Yeah
Hell yeah, yeah, you know what?
Yep
The oj simpson defense team. What are they just making shit up?
Yeah, well when jeff was asked point blank if jeff was a mongoose
He said quote i never said that he's a mongoose other suggested it then jeff himself stated
He was a marsh mongoose and now i'm a liar
making me
So jeff did say he was a mongoose after somebody else said that he was a mongoose
So is that because they're psychically making him a mongoose who now you're on board buddy. Haha kissle
It's starting to understand. He's starting to get into the wiggity world of things that don't matter and again. It makes you dumber
Now after seeing the article in the peal city guardian a woman named florence millburn wrote a letter to the national laboratory of
Psychical research. How bored are these people?
I mean
This is it's huge. This is huge news for the island
No talking mongoose honestly if there was a talking mongoose in my apartment building
I would be there with an old tiny reporter's hat with like the weird piece of paper on the side the big flash bulb camera
Just to be a part of the whole hubbub. No, I know I know
And who should receive that letter but world-renowned parapsychologist
Harry price. Oh, oh, yeah, this name comes up a lot
Yep, as you might remember, harry price was the man most responsible for bringing the story of borley rector
Borley rector rector dang dang near gave her a nice
Corvette
He's the one that brought borley rector e to the world. Nice
But long before he encountered the ghost of reverend bowl
Harry price dealt with jeff the talking mongoose. So harry price just had the greatest life of all time
He really did. I love this guy. This guy. What a what a fantastic life this guy got to lead
But he was like
not
Super enthused about jeff the talking mongoose when he first saw it. He was just like
I think I can
Give this to somebody else
See what they do with it. Maybe maybe we'll vet it a little bit before I go
And find this fucking talking mongoose, especially because the isle of man
Unfortunately, it didn't seem like a place a lot of people were like super excited to go to. Oh my goodness
So he was the curmudgeon agent from the docu series mcmillions. Thank god somebody else found this story and ran with it
Yeah, I mean for the initial investigation harry did not go himself. Oh, wow, and then it blew up. I don't think he should be
I'm on i'm against him now
About packaging. What did we learn from edison? It's about packaging. Mm-hmm
Instead harry price sent captain herald eggerton denis to get a bead on the whole story
Now jeff didn't speak to captain denis on the first night
But when the captain returned the next night jim informed him that jeff would speak in exchange for a camera or a
gramophone for vora
It's almost like their daughter asked for a gift they couldn't afford
Yeah, it's like asking santa claus
Yeah, maybe that's what I'll start doing is that if I you know what I'll say to wendy when she wants
Wonder like, you know, is there a santa claus? Maybe I'll tell her that actually no
You should ask jeff the talking mongoose for steak tonight
But jeff also said that he would only appear if the person requesting his presence
Believed in the talking mongoose because jeff had no time for what he called
Doubters
Nope
You know time you got to believe in a man. I get it. Hey life is short. I understand
I get it man. You can't let it's like, you know fucking. I'm a certain mj
Didn't allow a single non-believer inside that circle. I don't know that's how you get that
So you get those w's man now captain denis was open to the idea of a talking mongoose
But still jeff wasn't having it on the second night
Dennis heard a voice coming from the bedroom when he was talking to jim
And the captain shouted an assurance that he did indeed believe in jeff. I believe in you
But jeff replied quote. I don't mean to stay long as I don't like you
What what did he do to you jeff? What happened?
You didn't believe
Well, the captain did try to sneak up on jeff by silently crawling up the stairs
Oh my god, do you have any idea how difficult it is for a man with one wooden leg to sneak up on something? Yeah
But denis slipped on a broken step and noisily tumbled back down
And so the captain left partly convinced of jeff's existence, but still somewhat skeptical, huh?
However, there were visitors who had full-on encounters with jeff
A visitor to doorlish kashen named charles morrison said that jeff responded to each and every one of jim's commands during his day at the farm
jim asked jeff to bark and jeff barked
And jim asked jeff to sing carolina moon, which was a popular song at the time
Okay, but instead of singing jeff said quote
charlie charlie
Charlie my old sport clear to the devil if you don't believe
finished
Well, that's not exactly the song that I wanted to hear
But that is a nice tale
You know, I'll tell you what I wanted to I wanted to do a little bit of a dance and I wanted to maybe
You know take my daughter on the town to that song, but instead I'll be frightened by it
Indeed nothing like some good fiddle music to get these white bones cracking
Then that night as charles was trying to sleep in the house
jeff reappeared saying he's gonna keep charlie up all night because charlie was a doubter
And about an hour later charlie heard something under his bed
Morrison said he looked underneath the bed and saw a pair of glowing eyes staring back
And jeff asked him. Do you believe now? Yes?
It's so fun. It's so fun
Yes, jeff then made a spitting noise and then kept charlie awake all night making various animal sounds
I can't sleep because of y'all and y'all can't sleep because of me
And I can't sleep because of y'all you ever see that that was I believe from real world
It could be it could be
Well, other visitors were treated to jeff's penny trick and this visitors would flip a coin and have jeff
Guess heads or legs. That's how it's done on the a la man. Oh, I like that
Yeah, because they got the three their crest is like three legs all put together
And jeff was said to have always guessed correct
Goal
Which you know that kind of goes against the whole ventriloquism thing
Yeah, because I don't know if vora would have been able to guess every single time
But jeff was able to convince jeff was able to do it every single time and sometimes he would even guess the opposite
On purpose, but he would always guess the opposite correctly
It was it's very interesting
He they there's a lot of weird
Cooperation because a lot of people used to go over there and unless it was jim
It's like they're all hanging out and they would hear a disembodied voice come throughout the home
The one weird factor of the old school farmhouse was that it was a stone frame that had a wood frame on the inside of it
So there was like a weird gap between the wall
And the the wood actually made up the exterior of the house, which is what a lot of people said was the reason why like
You know number with a one weird reason of like there could actually be a creature in there
Like within within the walls making a bunch of noises, but it was very difficult for them to pull off these ventriloquist tricks
In front of everybody while they're trying to play the game in the dark
Yeah, all right makes a lot of sense
But as nice as jeff could be to visitors he could still sometimes be an annoying terror to the urvings
At least he was nice to visitors. You know, you're allowed to be kind of a prick around your family
That's unfortunately the people who get the most prick version of you sometimes
Which is unfortunate because we take our families for granted kiss. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do sure
About a month after charlie morson's visit jeff woke up jim at five a.m. Saying that he was sick
Oh, jim then heard a noise that sounded like a cat vomiting
I got a case of the manga shit
And when jim looked under his bed, he saw a pile of vomit mixed in with some half-eaten carrots. Oh jeff vomit
Oh jeff vomit
And jeff had other maladies besides just food poisoning
On another occasion a horrible bronchial cough echoed throughout the house when no one else in the family
Had any kind of sickness and jeff claimed it was coming from him saying quote
Jim I have a goddamn cough. I have a hell of a cold
Oh jeff do they make mongoose robotussing?
It was around this time that the Irving's claim to have actually come into physical contact with the entity
They said they saw jeff run over the crossbeams supporting the roof and upon closer inspection
Jim saw that jeff actually had
doll-sized
human hands
But they didn't have five fingers. It just had three fingers and a thumb
Yeah, man old-school mickey mouse. This is what mickey mouse would look like
If it was real
Also the teenage mutant ninja turtles another reference to them. Yeah
Margaret was actually able to reach up to the crossbeam and stroke jeff's head and feel his teeth with her fingers
And after that jeff was well and truly a member of the family
He did it!
Irving even bought him a little ball to play with
No kidding. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do they ever get that uh that that xylophone for the daughter there?
Gramophone. Gramophone
In return jeff began bringing objects from nearby farms as offerings
And he even started killing rabbits and laying them at the door for the Irvings to sell for five pence piece
By the end of it jeff would kill over 200 rabbits for his adopted family
Can you sell an animal that is killed by another animal? Isn't there like some diseases that could spread that way?
It doesn't seem that safe. No. No. Well, I mean this is 1930. I think you could this is 1935
You can sell any any meat will do any meat. Okay
But you know, this is what albs or the old men or brownies are also known to do
They if you work in conjunction with them, they will help you in many ways
They go out of their way because they ended up he ended up being the breadwinner for the Irving home. Mm-hmm
Well, that is quite an indictment on the father
As far as how jeff killed them jim said that there was never a spot of blood on the rabbits
But their eyes were usually bulged out of their skulls
Implying that jeff had strangled them to death with his strange little human hands
Admittedly vora was also quite the accomplished rabbit killer herself
But her method was much bloodier
She'd have mona the family dog point at the rabbit which froze the animal on its tracks
That's what a pointers for and vora would sneak up behind her prey and beat it to death with a stick
This chick is psycho the daughter like desperately needs. Yes. Is sciatric psychiatric help. No, she's a hunter. There's nothing wrong
There's nothing wrong with that. This is farm and this isn't a farm in life. Because so it's a harder life in our lives
I get my food like a good good human being from Taco Bell and from McDonald's. They don't even kill the animals
They just they're born as patties
And it's very responsible very responsible
But on the other hand jeff in time figured out that the family was depending on the income earned from the rabbits
He'd killed and he'd go on strike if he didn't get his way jeff unionized
But it's just him
Conversely, he'd also use rabbits as peace offerings on the occasions that he offended margaret and he did offend margaret
pretty often
He did he really really did because he was too
He he's naughty. He's a naughty mongoose. He's a cheeky mongoose cheeky. Was he did he go there?
Did he say it like it is?
No, he wasn't he wasn't being denis miller. He was more of a he just kind of say stuff
And he'd talk about really personal things that margaret didn't like him talking about
Yeah, man denises have a bad name denis larry denis miller and denis nilson. I don't like any of them
There's denis wilson
Which one is that he's a beach boy, but on the other hand he was also the one that brought charles manson into the fold
Ah, he was the one who almost got stabbed, right? Yeah, and then famously denis the god damn menace who was a terrorist
Yeah, that's true
Well jeff and margaret definitely had their spats
Jeff usually wanted to talk at night when everyone else was sleeping and he would knock and thump until everyone woke up
Which of course made margaret really pissed off
Hey margaret you sleeping
You sleeping
Yes, jeff. I am well asleep here as you can see I why are you talking then if you sleep
Well, because you just woke me up jeff. I got a long day tomorrow of looking at margaret. What are you gonna do?
You're gonna go out there. Yeah, look at fucking rocks. Yeah, that's what you're gonna do with your whole day margaret
Who's your favorite little rascal?
I like the one that wears that because he's so cute mind spanky. That's just from tommy boy
She said jeff got on her nerves
And when she told him he was nothing but a nuisance
He'd spit at her and say things like quote
Put
How bold eggs nuts crack them and eat them. How bold eggs nuts
Crack them and eat them
How bold eggs
nuts
Oh, he's all night, man. Yeah, what a uh, what a kid. What a kid. That was his favorite curse word. Nuts. Crack them and eat them. Nuts. Nuts.
What's another word for balls? Nuts. Nuts. That's uh, there we go. Yeah, that's uncle buck
Well, jeff and margaret's relationship was even described by the author of jeff as strangely intimate
Even sexualized at times. No gross
Sometimes jeff would watch margaret undress naming each item of clothing as she took it off
Hey, hey taking off your hat. I can see your hair. Nice
Oh, yeah, you're taking off that big strap in front there. You big old the big old round ones in the front
You're gonna take off that. Oh, yeah, nice
Oh, what's that a parachute? Oh, that's your underwear. Oh
man, day big
jeff that's gross of the line
I can see your butt margaret
I'm memorizing it. I'm memorizing it
Oh my goodness jeff even once tried to hit on margaret behind jim's back
And jim heard the whole thing while he was pretending to sleep
Man, he heard jeff quietly talking to margaret in the dark saying quote
I like you maggie
I like you
And I want you to like me
You know what i'm saying, uh, this is a great episode of joey greco and cheaters
Yeah, I like you and you know what? I'm thinking
You like me. You know why?
because i'm jeff
G and one one big g one tiny little f when you come down with me
I'll tell you what it's not gonna be one tiny f
It's gonna be one big ol long f. Yeah, I would I do like you but you're but you're a mongoose
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but uh, I don't got just tiny little human hands if you know what i'm saying
You got a tiny little dick too. You got a tiny penis?
Yeah, just like my husband
It ain't cheating if you got the same dick size
I don't like that. I don't like that concept
Well once things actually got a little physical
margaret put her fingers up to the crossbeams where jeff was waiting and he looked her fingers
Although the author was not specific on how sensual this looking was
What is wrong with this person? I blame the author on this by the way
The difference of sensuality is the amount of finger that goes in the mouth
If it's one knuckle sometimes it's an accident
If it's two knuckles and the word sucking gets involved then it's sensual
Yeah, I don't know why anyone's sucking on anyone's fingers anyway. I don't get anything out of it. Hmm
But although margaret and jeff certainly had their own thing going on
Jim treated jeff like the son he never had the son that's trying to fuck his wife
Amen, it's how it starts and that's how you learn how to fuck from the father
He'd call him my lad
And from what jim said jeff worked as a salve for jim's bruised emotions his jim himself said that his daughter vora quote
Was not an affectionate child. She is a sociopath. She's not a sociopath just because she kills rabbits for food
Well, not that it's part that but then also she doesn't have any emotion towards her father
Now what kind of daughter does that that's very rude. He all he does is do nothing for you
She's a teenager on an island that is basically filled with just sheep
And rocks. Yeah, she's bored as fuck. She is unhappy. You moved us
To here away from the city where all my shit was. All right. All right, not a sociopath. I'll give her daria
She's like a daria outside. She's just she's upset. Okay, I get it
But while jim and the mongoose had a jocular almost paternal relationship
Jeff's connection to vora was that of a close friend?
They were said to be inseparable for years playing hide and seek in other childhood games
But as vora got older and lived less in the world of play
Jeff began exploring the isle of man all on his own
It is very difficult to play hide and seek and win with a cryptid because they will just they'll be gone like that
They fucking are gone and it also doesn't help your friendship getting skills
No, as you're running around
The forest talking to a ghost mongoose. It's it's hard. It's it's it's just not as acceptable
Then it is now. No, look at the movie drop dead fred. Yeah, yeah made her life very difficult
Well in this the urvings believed that jeff traveled the island not as a mongoose
But was instead able to take the form of a man
What he could be a man this whole time. Well, this power is a man, baby
This power falls in line with the beliefs of a witch is familiar
You know a witch is familiar if you don't know what a familiar is it's essentially the witch's assistant
Usually it's like a cat or a frog or something like that
But sometimes a familiar was said to assume human form when the witch needed work done that could only be accomplished by a person
Well, and why didn't why didn't he just turn into a man? We wanted to bang the dude's wife
I mean that would be frightening. I think it was very that would be very assertive
And well, I kind of like in a Cinderella world too where the familiars used to kind of just show up too
A lot of times they say spontaneously
These little creatures would kind of show up which seems to me the idea of when you're opening the door to the unknown
You're basically flooding your home with elementals and then some of them take on forms or not
Okay, and the reason why you can't do that anymore is because the world has too much electricity in it
This is Marcus's big feel Marcus and he got into a thing yesterday. We're talking about how electricity is killing gnomes
And I'm I'm with him
That the electricity that is ever present in our lives is essentially written over the astral plane
And what was once common here in the world as a fairies and spirits and all type of such
Can no longer come into this world because of all the electricity. Well, I think that's the most rational reason
I've heard yet for the Green New Deal
Let's get rid of it. Let's get rid of it. Do you ever try to I try to explain to my therapist sometimes like these thoughts that I have
When I talk about elementals, I've talked about the astral plane with my therapist
I talked a little bit about anarchy and architecture with my therapist and they always give me this
She always gives me kind of the same. She's nice about it
But she always has been like I'm glad that you're thinking of such creative things like she does and then she moves on
Well, what would you like her to say Henry because if she agrees with you she could not be a licensed therapist
Then it would just be one of your I wanted a reference
I wanted to lift up a cage and have a fucking fairy in it. I mean like you should meet my other client
Well, I've certainly talked to my therapist about how Batman is real, but not real at the same time and talking about
Yeah, I've definitely brought up that idea in therapy and she was very perceptive. I see it. I see it
But while Jeff was at home, he still annoyed the Irving's from time to time
One night Jeff gave a list of 40 ailments. He supposedly suffered from that's a lot for a little mongoose. Oh, yeah, including rheumatoid arthritis
gaudy phlebitis
elephantiasis
melanotic sarcoma
And something called Barbados leg
Yeah, Barbados leg, dude
It's I think Barbados leg is when one of your legs is on vacation and the other one has to go to work
Oh, that's sad. He's gonna drag it behind you and Jeff thought that this listing of ailments was the funniest fucking thing in the world
Now why I don't know. He loved it. He just loved it. He loved it
The entire list was punctuated with what the Irving's described as high-pitched
satanic laughter
I mean, you know, why mess with what makes him laugh. Yeah, that's that's funny for him. I'm happy he's laughing through the pain
Yeah, it's the best medicine I've heard. Jeff also wants and only wants
Threaten the family with violence. He did. I mean it was yeah
He did it that one time. Significant here. Are we talking mass murder? It's casual violence
I would say he it was a casual mention of more it was kind of like a
A nice family shame if something happened to it. Yeah mob with it. Yeah, this is that the actual quote from Jeff
You don't know what damage a hammer might do if I were ours
I could kill you all if I liked but I won't
If you are kind to me, I will give you good luck
If you are not kind
I will kill all your poultry. I can get them wherever you put them
Well, better be nice to him. Better be nice to him then
Jeff was also exceedingly strong for an animal of his size able to push a 12 pound chair around his sanctum
You could almost take him bowling
Jeff said he did it for the exercise
He's like that old man who would exercise on chairs. Yeah, he was doing little workouts. It's so fucking cute. I actually
Natalie um
There was a period of time when Jackie was when she was living with Natalie and I Jackie went through this period of time where she
loved weights like she like strapping weights to her legs and her arms because she's just like her
Our wonderful mother who goes through like aerobic phases, right? Yes
and so Jackie was in an aerobic phase
And leave these little weights around these leg weights and Wendy used to drag them around and I have to say oh, that's Wendy working out
That's kind of fun for the family
Yeah, it's cute. I was like she's gonna get her neck all thick Jackie from page seven
Make sure you check out Jackie and everything that Jackie does
Uh, I don't she I don't think she loved being covered in weights
I think she felt an immense amount of guilt because she had a conversation with your mother
And your mother shamed her and then she put on weights to feel better
But then she realized that that's not actually what the problem is
I've always said there's nothing more functional and healthy than the relationship of a mother to her daughter
And just how there's nothing there's no weird shit in there ever until we straightforward and really just simple and honest and nice
Absolutely
But Jeff could also perform delicate work using his weird little three-fingered human hands to throw needles
And even at one point he drew a little self-portrait
No, no kidding. Yeah, yeah, man. Yeah, it's cute as fucking hell dude. All this shit's cute as fuck
It makes you fucking just I fucking love it. I'm cute as fucking shit
I know this is this is I I feel weird. It's we're such an adorable little time here
But of course when it came to the world outside of doorlish kitchen, it was always the question of whether or not Jeff was actually real
Oh, yeah, that big question in doorlish kitchen
There was no question as to whether Jeff was real or not but outside
There was definitely a question and after taking a couple of years off from the subject
Parapsychologist Harry Price returned to Jeff the talking mongoose. Wow. Guess it came back in the rotation
Yeah, yeah, he's just like, okay. Yeah, it came back up. Harry Price is just like, fuck it. I already masturbated today
I'll go and do this research into Jeff the talking mongoose. All right
Well price asked the Irving family for some samples of Jeff's fur
And the Irvings claimed that the fur they sent was pulled from Jeff's back and tail
But from what price's contact at the London zoo said the hairs most likely came from the dog
Ah, now you might say of course they're from the dog
The Irvings probably just clipped some from Mona
But it might also be possible that Jeff a trickster by nature pulled a switcheroo
Because for the most part the only people Jeff really cared about convincing were the Irvings these bits of evidence
remind me of
The evidence that has been accrued over time about UFOs right the idea of meta materials
And implants all these things that now the ttsa are now firmly in the camp of they are trying to do research on but they
They aren't they are making television shows
But the stuff that comes out especially they fucking like the implant nodes and stuff that they found
Like all this kind of stuff they found bare in the people's skin
It was because like it's like weirdly humdrum, but also highly strange
It's like a piece of brass will be found up inside a person's nose or a weird piece of silicone
Will be like found in a person's leg and no one's quite sure how it got there
It's not like fucking brand new tech that kind of just come it's not alienware like literally alienware
It is it just gets stuff that happens on earth, but it's in an unusual place
So it's like an elongated silicone tube almost in the shape of a penis might be found inserted in somebody's anus
And then in order to make an excuse for that action. They say I am not gay my to my wife
I had it was an alien implant and uh, obviously we all have to believe him
But even with the dubious origin of the fur
Harry Price still came to doorlish kashen in July of 1935 and brought along a bbc gadfly named Richard Stanton Lambert
Now, of course Jeff didn't speak to either of these men because Jeff knew that Harry Price was a doubter
Calling him the man who put the kibosh on spirits
And that is a word for word what he said he did he did say he called him the man who put the kibosh on spirits
Which is like that was them that was their version of saying like this song slaps like that was like weirdly like very current
Slang from Jeff. Yeah, well at this point Harry price
Remember Harry price was the guy who got into the game to debunk the whole all the paranormal shit
He was like uh, Jay Allen Heineck who got UFOs to debunk UFOs. Harry price was the same kind of guy
Okay, but then they pulled him fucking back in yeah, but after comparing the story of the Irvings to the earlier accounts given by
parapsychologist captain venice
Price and Lambert decided that it was actually more
Unlikely that the Irvings would invent and sustain such a ridiculous story
Then it would be for Jeff to actually exist
Okay
Now they did attempt to get Vora by herself to get her side of the story
But Jim not surprisingly didn't feel too comfortable with two strange
Psychical researchers being alone with his teenage daughter. Yeah, so they never got the chance
No, honestly, this is the this is the first and only time he's been a good father
Well, it's so hard to tell you know like when you tell a father that you need to give your daughter the wink test
And at the beginning you're just hoping it's an acronym
you know
Now Lambert and price figured this story was good enough for a book
But they stressed to Jim Irving that a book about a talking mongoose on the Isle of Man was highly unlikely to make a profit
And the least shocking sentence of the day
That's also I think how we did our pitch to HMH. We're like, I don't
Not I don't think anyone will purchase this, but it should be out there. Yeah, absolutely
And thanks to everyone who bought the last book on the left
Y'all are super sweet three weeks in a row on the New York Times bestseller list
It's pretty cool. Yeah, and if you want if you want your copy, I go to indy bound. Go go get it. Thank you
Yeah
After much haggling
They all agreed that if the book sold over 1500 copies
Jim would share the spoils that was the point in which the publisher would start to make their money back. Okay
Uh haunting of cashins gap only sold 350 copies so close though so close
Publisher lost a lot of money on that one. Yeah, I did look up a copy of it
Now it's like fucking fifteen hundred dollars. Wow. Well, yeah, because there were only 350 copies sold
That's the long game. They were playing the long game. Yeah, they're like, yeah
They wade to their fucking skeletons to make any money them and van go so excited. They're like
My tombstone will be very popular. Very nice
Strangely though, Richard Lambert ended up making quite a tidy sum from the story albeit in an indirect way
After the book was released the governors of the board of the British film Institute of which Lambert was a founding member
They had him removed
Why based on the fact that he'd co-written a book testifying to the existence of a talking mongoose
One particularly snobby member called Lambert unhinged. Oh my god. Meanwhile, they're all reading the bible. Hello
Haha, thank you Kessel. Thank you. So Lambert took the BFI to court for slander
And this is fucking insane a good portion of this slander trial
Involved Jeff
This is in court. They all sat there with their fucking wigs on in the heat
All yelling about Jeff. Okay making their snooty little jokes about the size and bushiness of Jeff's tail
Oh my goodness. Just trying to make Lambert look ridiculous. Wasn't there about to be a war?
Or we were in this is post war? No, no. This is 35. Oh, this is yeah. Yeah, this is right when things are about to kick off
They should have been keeping an eye on that old Adolph Hitler fella. Yes
No, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no because what happens is they needed to keep Jeff the talking mongoose in the fold
Because imagine how dangerous Adolph Hitler would have been if he could have been aided
But the power of this phantom weasel could go and tell him where Enfronk was hiding fucking way before they got her
Maybe Jeff the talking mongoose could pretend to be a sympathizer get into Hitler's good graces and kill him before this whole thing started
Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, shoot him in the head, see little talking Jeff the talking mongoose with a little Hitler stash
little Hitler hat
But in the end the court decided that while believing in a talking mongoose was indeed embarrassing
It was not grounds for dismissal
So Lambert ended up with a settlement that was worth half a million dollars in today's money
So he got paid he got paid but for him Jim Irving didn't get any of that money, and he was a little irked by that
Why didn't he get any of it? He's the one who ruined his life for this?
because again, he didn't get he
Jeff unfortunately ruined their lives
Unfortunately that what happens to every person's life who is touched by the paranormal they they all get
Ruined anybody that's why I always kind of lean on the side of why would anybody do this to themselves?
Why would they go and tell everybody in the world?
I own a talking mongoose
Yeah, if they didn't at least if they weren't at least insane enough to believe it if it was fake
Well, that's the Harry Price approach, right? Why would they do that? Yeah, why would they do that?
Actually a Jim Irving did get offered by Buffalo Bills Wild West show
$50,000 for Jeff the talking mongoose. They were gonna tour him around America like a miniature King Kong
Get him a mongoose and put a tape recorder by the side of it
But Lambert by the way
He went on to author a second book on the paranormal called exploring the supernatural and that was the first significant study of
Supernatural phenomena in Canada
Wow
Okay, cool
But as far as Jeff went he was back out of the news just as fast as he'd come in
Oh, and Jim was able to eventually capture a couple of pictures of the mongoose
But what was claimed to be Jeff could also just be a furry hat placed on a fence
Jeff is the modern. He's he's what pizza rat is for today. He honestly he is
Old-school pizza rat. He's the first pizza rat
It did look like the pictures of Jeff do sort of look like what they at the rate
The rage at the time was fur stoles like little kind of scarfs and it did look sort of like that
but that's another thing where if you if you look at pictures of UFOs or other various weird a
Colt phenomena at the time they all just kind of look like half made right again
Then you just say that they're all fake
But then you're the least fun person I've met at the party tonight, and I don't think I'm gonna fucking re-talking to you
You know I mean I just I don't know about the fur coat is always very interesting in the fur hat
I don't know why women wanted to look like Sasquatch for such a long period of time now
You do the faux fur, but the whole thing I just think I think it's weird
It's very strange and we wear leather and stuff. That's the skin. Just feel like having the fur on you
It's a very it's a very unique thing. I like faux fur. I want one of those big like Russian hats
Those big like furry hats. I think but you know in the rain
It's just gonna start falling apart next thing. You know you're like you're like a chicken coughing up its own
chicken
Feathers you're just remembering an episode of Seinfeld
Oh, that could be that sneaks in there sometimes that does sneak in there
The last person to show an interest in Jeff was a man named Nandor Fodor
It is no way he is over four-foot ten. No way if he is I'm pissed actually
Nandor showed up at Darlis Cushen in
1937 he was the research officer for the International Institute for Psychical Research
Which of course merged with a British College of Psychic Science in 1938 to become the Institute of Experimental Metaphysics
Which soon changed its name again to the International Institute for Psychic Investigation
Okay, and then the whole thing was eventually changed to the Bureau of Unemployed Nerds
The concerning Nandor Fodor he spent seven days at Darlis Cushen after corresponding with Jim Irving for two years and
Fodor showed up having already bought into the story completely. He was a believer
Okay, this is very good good place to start but still Jeff refused to appear much to Fodor's disappointment Jeff
But he was a believer Jeff. I don't know why you went up here Jeff is losing power
Yeah, Jeff is Jeff is starting to ease his way off of this plant into the next or
Starting to move farther away from the family to experience more of humanity or it's going back to its own
Agendas and needs to go back to wherever the hell it came from because maybe it's Jeff's got a wife and family
He's been fucking ran out on where he did the whole like I'm going out for cigarettes
And then he just never came back that does happen
Yeah, I mean Jeff at this point was being seen less and less it really Nandor just waited too long to go
I see but still based on the accounts of Jeff spitting coughing and urinating
Fodor came to the conclusion that Jeff must have been a physical living breathing animal
Furthermore, he believed Jeff was a talking animal
Maybe not an animal that had been born with the ability to talk
But certainly an animal that had learned the art of human speech cool, which is fucking weird
The weirdest possible explanation it's very weird. Yes
But Fodor also speculated that Jeff although physical might has still been conjured by Jim Irving himself through an intense yearning for mental
Stimulation owing to the entire Irving family going out of their minds with boredom stuck on the Isle of Man
He also would then updated his views a couple of years later
Where he then had some other very interesting idea that Jeff
Was not only a physical talking mongoose, but that he was sort of possessed by the brain of Jim
That Jim was controlling him psychically from the outside like this weird combo thing, which I think just involves
him just fucking just
Thinking that he had a fern and it was weed
And he just accidentally ate a bunch of it like he just went off the fucking reservation
Mm-hmm as he said Jeff had already started to fade by the time Fodor came around in
1937 and the talking mongoose was physically seen for the last time at Dorelish Cuchen in
1939
However, when Jim fell fatally ill in 1945 his eldest daughter Elsie
Reported hearing strange noises from the ceiling beams just before her father passed on Jeff came to say goodbye. Oh Jeff
I
After Jim's death
Margaret moved to Liverpool with Elsie and the property was bought by a dreadful man named Leslie Graham
Who shot a polecat in 1947 at Dorelish Cuchen and claimed that he'd killed the beloved talking mongoose
What is the point? That's not what we want. That's not what we want
Fucking corpse other than fucking the guy's wife. He didn't do anything wrong. I wanted him to sing and dance
I wanted him to be a showman. I didn't want him to be a fucking pelt
Yeah, that's why aliens haven't come to visit us yet Leslie was a dreadful man. He was a terrible man
As far as Bora went
She left the Isle of Man soon as she could and wanted nothing more
But to leave the story of Jeff the talking mongoose far behind
She gave one interview in
1970 but was still steadfast in her claim that Jeff was indeed real even 30 years later
However, she said that if it would have been up to her and her mother
They never would have told anyone about Jeff, but Jim
Unfortunately got a little carried away with the whole concept and ended up taking the whole thing
Way too far. Oh my god
He did a little bit of a chevy chase from the national ampoune movie in this fucking bullshit
Any time you end up in the court of law
Discussing is the invisible talking mongoose real or not
Some things have gone awry in your life
In fact, Bora made the interviewers promise that they would not tell any of her co-workers about the Jeff story
Oh, and she maintained that the reason why she could never find a husband was because of her association
To Jeff the talking mongoose. Oh
Jeff's final revenge. All right there. You know, you could say Jeff wasn't real sure say that he was a fair
I mean, you wouldn't be a fun person
No, I mean because I don't know in the end though
I let Jeff into my heart this week
That's I let him in there and now he's made a little burrow and I like I'm gonna bring a little bit of bacon
And I'm really excited and I hope that Jeff visits me in my sleep. So you're using this as an excuse for more bacon consumption
Yes, okay, that's great. Jeff the talking mongoose. Thank you all so much for going on this crazy magical journey
It was a fun week a fun magical week. Yeah, we figured we'd take a little break from the blood and guts and just have fun
Absolutely, I have a little bit of goddamn fun. I'm trying to have fucking fun around here. Absolutely
Um, next week we're gonna have a relaxed fit episode, but then after that we're going to go
We're going to go deeper deeper
Into the world of the occult this whole summer getting strange. That's right summer of strange is upon us
It's getting hot here in New York City and hopefully the weather is nice where you are as well
Now we're gonna talk extensively for an hour about the weather
Should be a little overhead today. We do have a thunderstorm planned. That's true
Oh, we had quite a nasty thunderstorm last night a couple of my deck chairs got blown over and I
Really don't have the energy right now to go out and put them back up. There you go
Have to enjoy a cloudcast here on LPN. Why don't you go and enjoy a little bit of a bullet in the mouth podcast?
We teach you how to get bullets in this trying time. It's hard times where you the gun stores just aren't open
And you want to make sure you can really blow your brains out. I think the gun stores are open
Also happy birthday Henry. Once again, congratulations. You've made it
I love this to this you made it to this and I live and that's great
And I'm we're happy that you live of course birthdays are for the dying and funerals or for the living
So let's not forget that it's not forget that and yes, yes, thank you all so much for supporting LPN. Thanks for giving to our patreon
Thanks for anything. Do we have obviously the book again go to Indiebound? Thank you all so much for buying the book
I mean, it really is amazing to be on the New York Times best-seller list three weeks in a row
It's like exceptionally rare and you know, so just thank you all so much
And I do I promised a few people that got into my DMS because they were going through stuff that I was gonna send
Them a book with a little written word in it. I will send that out
But it's open the way to send it the UPS stores close until May 4th. Yeah, just give me a little time
apparently that's not a necessary business these days and
Yeah, keep on supporting all the shows here on LPN. We got the stream. Is there anything else guys anything else?
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We got we fucking updated new shit
We've got a bunch of responses last week when we asked if like do you have some merch that you want us to chill at you?
And we are gonna start getting those gears turning. Yes. We are we got a super cool new t-shirt out there
If you want to go check that out and we were restocked on everything that was sold out previously
So you know last podcast merch comm and if you're interested in no dogs in space
And you've been waiting until the end of the Ramon series to really digest the whole thing part 4 comes out
Next Thursday, so that whole thing's in and then after that we're heading on to something else hell
Yeah, check out all the shows here on last podcast network and never forget folks hail yourselves
Hail Satan again my ghost relations everybody hail me
I think we've been forgetting a lot about Satan these days
Have we that we need to be reaching out more to Satan and see what he can do because basically what he'll
It'll help you do is maybe help convince your partner to try something else in the bedroom during these trying times
Yeah, maybe maybe that could work
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