Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 421: The Beast of Boggy Creek

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

This week, we delve into the legend of a hairy humanoid that haunts the surrounding area of a small town in southern Arkansas. And we find out what happens when monster hunters, movie makers, and Arkansas gift shop owners catch Fouke Monster fever.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

Hi everybody, I'm Sina Ghaznavi and my co-host Justin Blames and I are working with the team from last podcast of the left to launch a new show called Fraudsters. That's right, we're like the hall of shame for scammers. This season we'll show you the future with Ms. Cleo. Call me now for your free reading. We've got Ponzi schemes, we've got crypto fraud, we've got catfishing. This will be a perfect podcast, 100% guaranteed or your money back. Sina, I think it's free. Oh, that's right. Fraudsters, starting next week, listen for free only on Spotify. There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk.

On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? There are so many people mystified by the tale of the folk monster. If you look out into the swampy bottom lands of Arkansas, the Texarkana fields, the bean fields, thickly veined with cricks and haulers down in the thicketed bottom land, the thicketed deep brush of the swampy, thick walled bottom land. So were you going to pump my gas or am I supposed to? The lonely crowd of the Bigfoot is not to not a Kent from the man's lonely crowd. Yeah, just unleaded would be fine.

Welcome to the last podcast on the left, everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Henry and of course, Mark is. Hello. Hope everyone is doing well out there. That's a real cry of the Bigfoot. Is that really that? That's it. It's not a guttural cry.

It is a cry, not unlike, let's say, a young emerald agasi dropped a hot egg on his foot. Oh, he went, oh, I'm not sure if that's entirely accurate. I know you guys do the bulk of the research, but I'm pretty sure when a Bigfoot stubs his toe, he says, fuck. Well, especially if he's from. Get ready to hear that word a whole bunch. Today, we are talking about the very serious topic of the legend of Boggy Creek. Now, the Falk Monster, a.k.a. the beast of Boggy Creek is somewhat different from other giant ape like Simeons like your traditional Bigfoot since Asquatches.

Described as unkempt, rebellious and malodorous, the Falk Monster is encrypted with a specific personality and a long localized history. Are you guys making fun of me? No, this is actually one of those where this is not a direct sub tweet of you, Kissel, because you don't smell bad. Oh, thank you. No, no, no, you don't. We've always said this surprisingly neutral.

Yes, I'll take it. You kind of smell like the way I would describe it, a new pool toy. Oh, that's nice. Blow me up whenever you want. Good. No, well, don't do that. All right, I get it. But there's something about the Falk Monster that the Texarkana people are very proud of

because they say that the Falk Monster of any of the other cryptids is just not unlike a year 2000 era kid rock. Oh, OK. Where he is just, he's letting his freak flag fly, fleet, fleet, is that a freak flag fly? Honestly, it's a difficult saying to begin with. Freak flag fly. Freak flag fly.

Yes. And he's allowing that to fly. OK. He's also very skinny, but also kind of fat. Do you know that weird trailer park skinny? Yeah, like Kid Rock. Yeah, like Kid Rock or the cast of Duck Dynasty. Yes, very similar.

OK. Secret billionaires. But they all, the other thing about this episode is I want to say straight up, if you're from Arkansas, I'm going to need you to just kind of buckle in and just know for a fact that we've never been to Arkansas. Not yet. I have. This is going to, there's a lot of bias that's going to come from dog meat.

Really? Wow. That liberal Texas bias. Well, this monster is unique in the sense that he seems to have made a home in one specific place outside of one specific town called Falk, Arkansas, which rests just southeast of Texarkana, where the borders of Texas, Arkansas and Louisiana meet. But you know what doesn't meet there? Reading and writing.

Oh, leave him alone, Henry. Leave him alone. I'd love to go to Texarkana, have a couple of drinks, have some conversations with the folks because they tell you great tales, such as the legend of Buggy Creek. You mean Fawkes. I don't even know if I mean that because I don't know what that means yet. Well they could definitely tell some tales. They can spin a yarn, but Henry's comment about reading and writing is accurate.

Oh my God, would you please stop demeaning the great people in the combined forces of just charm that you would get from Texas, Arkansas and Louisiana is something you can't even articulate in words as you can tell as I try to do it. Know how you articulate it? You go, oh. Well, since the beast is so localized around one small town that's never had more than a thousand people, damn near everyone who lived in and around Falk all have a story about the mysterious creature.

But for some people, these stories are more about other people's experiences with the phenomenon as Chief Deputy H.L. Phillips put it, quote. I don't believe in it, but I'd say you don't argue with people who say they've seen it. They will shoot you. You're going to find out that's the first reaction to a lot of these stories. I love it. Oh yeah, when a rural person has seen something really fucking strange, you just try to fucking tell them they didn't see that.

Okay, well, let me just clarify what Marcus just said. When a real American sees something strange, you try to tell them they did not see something strange. Are you trying to win the fucking Iowa primary right now? Yeah, I am trying to make our audience know that we love them no matter where they are. I know, I know. This is where I'm fucking from. I grew up in a place like this.

And what did you do but abandon them, Mr. Parks? Yeah, that's what you should have done. You should have stayed and become a gas station vampire like Jody Arias' first fucking boyfriend. By the way, Jody Arias' butthole needs to pay us a check because we just put that thing on the map. Well, in other words, belief in the beast runs deep in falc. But what's interesting is that there are no stories coming out of other small towns in the area with equally ridiculous names like Wicks, Grannis, Umpire, Stamps, Okolona, Smack

Over, Norflet, or Waldo. Oh my god. I love it so much. Just a town called Stamps. You know, for a fact, they don't even have a mailbox. They might not even have tongues. Aside from a few sightings about 60 miles southwest in Jonesville, Texas, ape-like humanoids in this area of the world seem to be specifically falc-based.

But it could also be that falc is where ape-like humanoids, or one lonely ape-like humanoid, have decided to reach out to mankind. True talk, though. You're a skunk ape. You don't want to be discovered. Obviously, as you were talking about truly the education system in this country has failed, literacy rates are down there. People aren't reading.

They're not writing that much. What better place to keep a secret if no one can articulate what they saw on paper? But when they can't read and they can't write, they're sure as a heck fire a lot of boggy gossip. Yes, indeed. That's the problem. You've got a couple of gossip girls down there, and they are slowly, but surely, becoming women.

Oh, yes, they are. And skunk apes from Florida, so. Oh. Our source today is The Beast of Boggy Creek by Lyle Blackburn, which does a pretty damn good job of bringing all the disparate elements of this story together. And if that endorsement isn't enough for you, Bob Yarger of the Texas Bigfoot Research Center called it, quote, a first-rate piece of journalism. That's huge.

I love what Bob said. They are very negative. Oh, indeed. Mostly they are very, very negative. But there's this story. There was a brand new Amazon documentary on it, too, that I believe it's called The Boggy Creek Monster, which tries to revive some new tales of The Boggy Creek Monster. And I'm going to tell you what, it is vague.

The Boggy Creek Monster. Are we still talking about Jody Arias' butthole? What's going on here? I guess he's got to save it. Save it to the end. Do we have to make it to the end? I don't know. Actually, no.

I can do it now. You're right. The Falk Monster first got press attention on May 3, 1971, when the Texarkana Gazette reported that a family had a run-in with a seven-foot-tall, hair-covered, ape-like creature that had glowing red eyes, an awful smell, and a habit of screaming into the night. Either that was The Bog Creek Monster, or Gary Busey is doing community theater around here. As The Boggy Creek Monster.

I would definitely cast Gary Busey as The Boggy Creek Monster. He's low-key one of my favorite human beings that's ever lived. But you know what I will say, because Marcus and I were talking about this as we were producing the episode, is that it's this crooked of all of them. For some reason, it has a special charm. Yeah. I feel like if I were going to cast a cryptid, like let's say I were to stunt cast a cryptid as Harry from Harry and the Henderson, I would put this creature as the lead.

I would cast this as Harry, but I would put a lot of stipulations in there of like not getting too close to him, especially if you're on your period, and like don't get anywhere in there. Have you spilt tuna juice on you in any way she had performed, or have you got a bunch of rotten bananas, don't go anywhere near him. It sounds like you have a problem with craft services. That is. Or people just eat that tuna and old bananas.

It's going to need to be really worked out, because those are for him. Don't touch his. Oh, I see. Okay. Now as opposed to the lumbering relatively laid back Sasquatches of the Pacific Northwest, their southern cousin is said to be leaner, meaner, hairier, and without a doubt, louder than all the rest. No, of course, once the story was run in the Tex-Arcanic Gazette, citizens in the area

around Fout came out of the woodwork with stories about a wild man of the swamp from years before that they'd kept quiet for obvious reasons. And it wasn't like all this was just waved off. Law enforcement in the area took this seriously with one constable, Ernest Walraven, arming himself in anticipation of more attacks, because to him, all this sounded like all that shit that went down in Jonesville a few years ago. We don't want none of them attacks up here. Wait, did you just say his name was Walrus Walraven?

Ernest Walraven. Okay, so he just made that name up. He is a constable still, which is a position that hasn't existed since the 1880s. They call him constable because if you watch the Legend of Bogie Creek and so on and constable Walraven, he's the one holding water all around these swamps and then he comes in there and he has a musket. I see. And of course, a constable is just a sheriff deputy who hasn't shat properly in 10 years.

His constapation is stable. But to really get a sense of how the people of Fouk came to so easily accept the existence of a seven foot tall monster loping its way across the various bean fields of western Arkansas, we got to go back to the 1800s when most of that area was still an inhospitable and deadly swamp. When it comes to the sort of area lost hominid like the Fouk monster might live, there aren't many places in America more suited than the forests and swamps of western Arkansas and the scariest part of Texas, the Far East.

I will say I had eaten a huge edible and I smoked a joint before watching the Legend of Bogie Creek and there is just nothing funnier than the description of the narrator. Every day I'd just been like, and the thickets and the bushes and birds often found a home deep beside the thicketed brush lands of the bottom land, the sweet, sweet black waters of the bottom land. It's just like bushes and thickets. And it's the word Fouk. The word Fouk just cracks me up.

Well those forests and swamps cover 2.9 million acres of land, bathed with 9,000 miles of streams and rivers and dotted with 600,000 acres of lakes. It's ribbed with the mountains and it's got temperature control, all sorts of gets cold nor titillate the inside caverns of Arkansas and there's an extra ridge at the side to slowly massage the clitoris of the Texarkana border. Is that right? All that means is that all that land there's plenty to drink, plenty to eat and plenty of places to hide.

However, a great place for an animal to go undiscovered for centuries might also be a great place for a man to get lost and lose his fucking mind. And it seems like the earliest sightings in the area of so-called hairy wild men might have been just that. And the concept of the boggy wild man seems to be so, like, plentiful in this time period and in this area that everybody who talks about it and when the first rash of modern sightings of the Boggy Creek monster came about, they all just assumed it might just be some wild man living up in the woods and I've never just assumed that the woods were

just filled with men just living there alone. I did not know that that was so common that you could just say, oh it must have been some kind of wild man. I mean, I love the idea. I love the concept of going out in the wilderness, being all alone, doing whatever you want to do but that at some point you gotta watch Netflix and you can't. And I think there would definitely be some dark lonely nights up there. But that's a lot of fun for these guys, I think.

Moonshiners, perhaps. Well, I mean, these aren't people with homes or anything like that. These are wild men in the woods that find a cave, make a fire sometimes, but mostly survive on raw fish and frogs. Wow, cool guys. Technically, that's what the original French did and that started all cuisine. Hey, look at that. In 1851, the Arkansas Gazette and the Memphis Enquirer both reported on a story about two

hunters who came across a large, hairy, manimal trying to snatch a calf away from a herd of cattle. These men, like many people who come across a creature like this, froze with fear and when the creature noticed them, it did nothing more than stare and run off, leaving behind 13-inch-long human tracks. Damn, human-like tracks. Interesting. This is kind of upsetting, though, for the hunters because you just gotta let this guy

get his meal. This guy obviously was going after the littlest one in the herd, you know, going after the calf. He's probably starving. Why mess with this dude's dinner? Because somebody owns that calf. There's a rancher that's dependent on that calf for his fucking livelihood. Yeah, dude, don't even get in the middle of the relationship of calves and cattle and

their owners and ranchers. I know. It's like the biggest crime in the world is to steal a calf. I think that's what that's for us. Isn't that Hatfield and McCoy's? Wasn't that the whole premise? It was a calf controversy? I thought that one of the Hatfields dresses a ghost and scared one of the McCoys once

in a weird-filmed prank show called You Just Got Clunked. I love that one. Five years later, a similar creature actually attacked someone, although this one was very likely one of the so-called Wildmen because this one was just six-foot-four. He was seven feet tall. You know the attack is very similar to a Charles Manson dance, where he tells you, fuck, he was, however, well muscled, and it was said that this hair-covered animal ran with the fleetness of a deer.

Cool. It's like when I saw Kissel slowly descend into his pool, and you watch him slide into his pool, the fluid motions that come about a Kissel at motion in water is kind of inspiring. It is akin to seeing a animal find its true environment. It's a bit like that prudential commercial with the whale saving you money on insurance. Hell yeah. I'll never understand why the whale is the motto for prudential, but that's all another conversation.

We can have it for an hour and a half if you want to. I want to die. No witnesses knew how the animal ran because for some reason, a group of Arkansas yokels had decided to capture him alive. But when one man approached on horseback, the hairy wild man tore him from his mount, scratched out his eye, and bit a big hunk of flesh out of his shoulder. Damn! Leave him alone!

I mean, what did the Bog Creek monster at this point have they at all attacked anyone other than people who were being aggressive towards it? Nope. There you go! No, absolutely not. It's the whole Arkansas thing that'll get the good man out of my life, don't let them tell me what to do. That man ain't got no clothes on!

Get him! Get him! I don't like it! Get him! Well, you can't have a bunch of winkies running around all there slapping each other's thighs with it. The wild man then tore the saddle and bridle from the horse, destroyed the implements of slavery, hopped on the animal, and tore off at full speed into the swamp, never to be

seen again by the evil townsfolk who decided to capture him. So he's got a moustache right now. But you can kind of see that in a while, you know, they're mad that they stole the horse and they're mad that he tore the saddle, so they're mad that he got bit in the shoulder. But at some point they're like, that's a true American. That's awesome! Marcus, ranch your mentality, you steal a horse or you steal a calf or you steal a cow. What's worse, what's going to get you in the town square putting the stocks with tomatoes

thrown at your face? Horse. And in the Old West, if you stole someone's horse, you would be killed. It was a hanging offense. Well, I would say put your name on your horse, so then I won't accidentally steal it. Yeah, they brand it. Yeah. They don't put like a tag on it.

You just take a sharpie, put your name, be like Ben's horse. Ben's horse. Yeah. Well, about ten years after that incident, another group of meddlesome locals actually managed to capture one of these wild men near Saline County. This one was a seven foot tall giant of the hills covered in thick hair, and he lived in the local caves. And again, he wasn't doing anything to anybody.

Yep, just being a tall person. I mean, you got to call them. You got to call them because when the tall people, when they get to, when there's too many of them, it's more of a pest like situation. Is that right? You want to say that? Yeah. Yeah.

The decision was made to capture him, so the cruel townsfolk invaded his cave, lassoed him, and took him away to the jail in Benton. There they dressed him in clothes against his will, which he tore off before escaping to a nearby building. Damn. He was recaptured, but unfortunately, the story, as it was told in the 1941 book Ozark Country, does not say how the whole saga ended. He became the town mayor.

Yeah, we are the town mayor, he's the tallest man. Yeah. And that's what they were afraid to see because that was his whole thing, he's like, I see a head above my competition. Yes, he does. They arrested him again, they were so happy, they elected him mayor, but then he made all houses illegal and everybody had to live in the caves. Now that could have been some sort of lost hominid based on the extreme height, but there

was one case in which a definite feral human was mistaken for one of these beasts of the night. In 1875, a quote unquote, half wild animal had been stealing food from the local farm houses and forcing women to cook a meals while the men were away at work, although he never went further than that. Cook me eggs. Cook me eggs. Cook me eggs.

I know what's happening. I have to sit in the living room, because I don't even see him having a weapon or anything, I just see him just walking around the living room going, eggs, eggs, musical fruit, musical fruit. And they're like, what are you talking about? That's beans. He's like, eggs. You make me eggs, you want me?

You make me eggs. I watch a lot of omelet videos on Instagram, I get the power of the egg. I don't even want to fucking talk about this, Kissel just showed me three different omelet accounts. Literally, he is- It's a powerful insta-follow. He has subscribed to only eggs, and he is just sending, he just showed me, like it was a hot woman.

He's like, hey, Henry, hey, come with us. They put avocado in it. Come look at this, Sam. There's omelet in it. Just look at that. Look at that. They put avocado and bacon in it. That's just what you kept saying.

I was like, yeah, it's an omelet. You were saying the avocado thing, like it was some sort of like sexy woman taken off her bra, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, wait, no, no, keep watching, keep watching. They're about to put the avocado in it. The avocado makes a big difference, anyway. Now, I'd say this, Wild Man, this did actually warrant a search because he was breaking into people's houses and forcing women to cook him food. But after the posse caught up to the Wild Man, they found he was actually a railroad

worker who'd suffered a mental break two years before and had just sort of wandered off the job. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna be honest here, confess in the most ironic thing in the world, yes, I'm a railroad man and I did happen to go off the rails, which is really interesting to think about, about how technically the train is the most sane way to travel because it sits on the rails. On the rails, yeah. But me, I'm sick of the rails.

Oh, man. The man was in such bad shape that by the time he was returned to society, one reporter lost all objectivity and described him as, quote, the wildest, greasiest, ugliest looking, half clad specimen of humanity, and it was ever our lot to behold. Oh my goodness, all right, you little, I'm gonna, you're a limousine liberal. That's what I'm gonna call you, with your monocle and your, and your belt buckle. Get out of here, leave this guy alone. He was however declared fit for trial by a judge and was found guilty of vagrancy and

sentenced to 60 days in the little rock jail. Just for living in a cave by himself, well also for breaking into the houses and stealing the food and forcing women to cook milk. They could have also just like tried to give him food, you know, maybe, I guess they did when he was in jail, I suppose. He also was just, he was greasy and ugly and scary and half clad, so I also wonder if he wasn't even demanding cooking him eggs, it was gonna be like, you egg woman. Can you make eggs in there, in that magic machine you got in there?

Yeah, just be nice to him and eat eggs. I always say everybody stop screaming when they're looking at me, because I know I'm half clad, I know I'm greasy, and then this comes on the grease I put on me. Yeah, of course, that's why you're greasy. After that, there wasn't a whole lot of monster talk in western Arkansas, near as we can tell. But the Beast of Buggy Creek, or some variation, made its first appearance in 1965 outside of Jonesville, Texas, 60 miles southwest of Falk. On that day, 14-year-old Lynn Crabtree was out hunting squirrels when he heard the bellow

of a dog. So he ran off in the direction of the noise thinking that maybe some poor mutt had gotten snagged on a fence. Happens. Yeah, sure. But once he got to the source of the holler, he instead saw a, quote, hairy man or gorilla type beast with long arms. And the beast seemingly looked agitated.

Maybe it was because all these crazy town folks were hunting it and all it wanted to do was live its pleasant life. This was 100 years later, there hadn't been a big man hunting a long time in Falk. Okay, good. By the boys' estimation, the creature was 7-8 feet tall and covered in 4-inch-long reddish-brown hair. They've all got reddish hair, don't they? Do not look at me when you say that, Marcus.

I saw the look on your face. I mean, we do notice that Kissel has not cut his hair in a certain period of time, and Kissel walks across the highways like Michael Landon. And you wonder at some point, what is going to happen to Ben Kissel? Will he be subject to some form of cryptid hunt? Yeah. I think it's extremely possible. That's why I stay out of the woods.

Since Harry and the Henderson's was still a couple of decades away, Lynn Crabtree had no idea what was standing in front of him. So thinking he had a wild man on his hands, Lynn pointed the gun at the creature. Of course. And it was, though. The creature didn't seem threatened by the firearm at all and started walking towards the boy. Lynn, by now terrified, tried shooting the creature in the head, but missed, firing three

shots total before fleeing back home. Lynn told his father, Smokey, all about the encounter, but never spoke of it again, taking the story to his grave in 2011. I love it. He's like, we got a reference, dumb and dumber, right? When Jim Carrey has the gun and he shoots a whole bunch and he misses everybody. Or was that, was that Jeff Daniels? No, that's, that is.

That's Jeff Daniels. That's Jeff Daniels. Jeff Daniels shoots everyone and then he was a bad shot. Oh gosh, I'm happy I brought that up. I am too. Yes, indeed. I am too. Funny movie.

I wonder if the Boggy Creek monster was just kind of doing the whole, like, we're gonna see that there's a loneliness for the heart of the Boggy Creek monster, where he was just going, please play Monopoly with me, and the, oh, the little boy could think to do, we'll shoot his gun at him. Isn't that sad. But even though Lynn never talked about it again, his dad, Smokey Crabtree, sure as hell talked about it and immediately went up to shoot the creature himself, later admitting that he knew full well that he could have been shooting it just some guy.

Well, Smokey may not have been sober. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, anybody named Smokey that still has a jaw, I honestly don't trust him. Smokey tried getting his dogs to run the creature out of hiding, but the dogs refused to go into the woods, which would be a common theme when it comes to tracking down the beast of the Boggy Creek. Dogs hate it.

Or at least dogs are terrified of it. Yeah, I get that. Actually, in the movie The Legend of Boggy Creek, like, there is a scene where they're bringing out dogs and the narrator's like, they brought the most famous dogs in all of Tennessee. Yes, I remember, I was joking about that with Emily, I was like, what is this, are these fucking dog dick-dockers? Like, how are they famous?

What are they famous for? They're influencers. Being dogs. When the dogs refused, Smokey tried a wounded rabbit called. You want me to show you an example of the wounded rabbit call? I know what a wounded rabbit call sounds like. No, I said why. I said why.

All right. Yeah, I'd love to hear it. Ouch. Ouch. Wow. Wow. You are very lucky I don't have a gun with me. What is it, Marcus?

Yeah, it's awful. It's one of the worst sounds on earth. Nailed it. This is fun. Ouch. Well, that, at the very least, got a response in the form of a lonely cry, which Smokey said started off sounding like a house cat, then it turned into something like goat chatter before ending on something like an owl.

Okay. Yeah. For me, it was like, wow, this is a great episode. This is really interesting. Fun noises with the boys, our new podcast. Fun noises with the boys. Hey dogman, here's a new fun noise. That's a pretty good one, but I'm more before like, yeah.

All right, I think we got a lot of, we've had a lot of fun with the noises today, guys. Now let's open up the box and put the fun noises away. He's making noises now, dude, that's fun. But they're in the lock box now. Well, once the creature presumably figured out the wounded rabbit call was a fake, he simply sounded annoyed and made a noise that was something between a scream and a growl, and he wasn't heard from for years afterward. Damn, okay.

He showed up again in 1969 when a woman named Louise Harvan was two miles south of Jonesville, about to go into her job as a meat cutter at the D&W packing company. What a great job that is. Honestly, that's a strong woman. She said that just as she was about to go inside, she heard a ruckus coming from the hogpen. She walked over and saw a large, hair-covered, ape-like creature standing on two legs, eating scraps of food from the pig slop.

She said he was so hairy and was eating so greedily that the food hung from his mouth and clung to the fur on his chest. Okay, okay. First of all, I'm actually also feeling insulted weirdly. I'm also like, it's the way he's talking about it, it's the way he's describing it. What do you mean? I don't know. That was seriously not meant as a slide at all, man.

You guys end up with food in your chest hair a lot, don't you? No, I don't have chest hair. But can we just not say the word greedily when it comes to a person eating pig slop? I think it's safe to say the last thing that we could describe this person as is greedy. It seems like they didn't really want anything other than pig slop. I also think that the only porno that Kissel and I would ever be in together would be called ruckus in the hogpen. I want to be the top pig.

Good, good, because I want to be the same witch pig. Once a creature saw it, he was being watched, he suddenly stopped eating, and within seconds, he jumped the hog fence and disappeared into the woods. But the weird thing was, the creature seemed to follow not the slop, but Mrs. Harfin after that night. I think that she'd be insulted if he was just after the slop after all this time when you had a fully, strong-bodied meat cutting woman right there. It's also like if you're the next best thing to slop, it's kind of an insult too, right?

I don't know. Not long after the hogpen encounter, Louise was at home and stepped out onto her porch early one morning, and she saw the same creature licking what was left of the dog food out of an old hubcap she used as a dog mole. Just give these people food. They're not people, they're creatures. The creatures. Give the creatures food.

No, but then you're building and then it's coming back and it's coming back. Then you build a trust with it and then it becomes domesticated and then you can live as the four mentioned, Henry and the Harrison Fords. What's the name of the family? Harry and the Harrison Fords coming to you at CBS this fall. It's me living with Harrison Ford and his family, bothering them about when the new Star Wars is coming out. Harry and the Anderson.

Well, the thing is, is that if you domesticate a seven foot tall semi-primate like animal creature that you know is pecking, right? At some point. Oh, you're worried he's going to take your wife. Well, you know, you're a lonely woman covered in pigs blood and you are sitting there. You're a Louise Harvan. I mean, I don't know what you're taking, but I guess it's like, I guess if you want to trap one for your own purposes, you totally can.

But then slowly, but surely you got to start putting dog food on your pussy. Well, I don't know if you have to. You don't have to do that. You know, a lot of people, a lot of people live their whole lives being lonely and never have sex with animals. You do know that, right? But Bigfoot is such a, he's such a fine line. I don't think it's bestiality to have sex with a Sasquatch.

Well, I actually agree with Henry here because what many people say about specifically the falc monster is that his face is much more human than ape. In fact, it's eerily human. All right. I think it's fine to have sex with a Sasquatch. Thank you. Buddy, I was going to let both of you move on. But if, yes, if you want to double down, sure, go in there and have sex with a Sasquatch.

The encounter with Miss Harvan, that was the last time the creature showed up in Jonesville because the next time the creature or some variation was seen, it had traveled 60 miles northwest to falc, where its fame as an American monster would truly begin. In late April of 1971, the Ford family, who had just moved to falc five days before, started getting harassed by a creature that was, by their estimation, seven feet tall and three feet across. Oh, man, it's William the Fridge Parry, William the Fridge Parry, Chicago Bear, good 1986 football reference.

That's all I got. Yes, indeed. Now, first, Bobby Ford thought the thing was just a bear, but that opinion changed when Bobby's brother, Don, saw it running upright, fast as anything, during the first two visits from the creature. On the third visit, though, the soon-to-be-named falc monster literally reached out to try and make contact with a human. Elizabeth Ford said she'd been sleeping in the front room when the curtain moved and

a clawed hand covered in heavy hair stuck out through the window. That's a little scary. It is scary. This is the legend of Boggy Creek, though, very much so wants to make Bigfoot scary, and I've never personally been afraid of Bigfoot. No. Like, it's not a thing. It's not scary to me.

Same thing with the movie Willow Creek, which I must be ripping off of the legend of Boggy Creek or it's an homage to it, but it's like, I've never been scared by Bigfoot. No. It's because it's him just trying, essentially, he's just like, give me eggs. Like, he's just trying to like, say hello. He might be trying to pet the pretty lady. Well, he's a little bit like Lenny, perhaps, which is a dangerous kind of love. It is.

Because, of course, he can snap your neck, but that's okay. I'm gonna see if Max Brooks can do it. His new novel, the same guy that did World War Z, his new novel is about a Sasquatch invasion that happens in the middle of an eruption of a volcano. Cool. That's awesome. I just started it. If anybody could do it, it's him.

That's cool. Hell yes. Well, Elizabeth Ford looked closer and saw red eyes that burned like coals of fire. And it made no noise except its normal breathing. So it wasn't necessarily threatening, it was just breathing normally. It was curious. Yes, nothing wrong with that. Now naturally, this being rural Arkansas, the first instinct the Ford family had was

shoot it. Got to. But this is an uncommon reaction to a Sasquatch-like creature. And it's actually so common that the magazine Outdoor Life published an article a few years ago titled, Would You Shoot Bigfoot? And this is my question. I don't think it should be would you should, but Bigfoot, it should be should you shoot Bigfoot?

If it's threatening, I suppose, and you're scared, but I don't think that you should. I really don't think so. I don't think so either. I think that's actually, that would be what a waste to kill a Bigfoot. Yeah, that's very true. Well, this is one of the big points of contention in the Bigfoot hunting world. Some are pro-kill, meaning they want a specimen no matter what the cost. If we have to kill the only Sasquatch in America in order to find out that Sasquatch is real,

they'll fucking do it. Oh, I mean, it might be nicer than making it a circus performer or something like that. You look at the film King Kong, he wasn't very happy being all tied up there. That was fiction. We don't know if Bigfoot doesn't want to go on tour. We don't know. I'm just saying. Bigfoot hunters like the North American wood ape conservacy are what they, wood ape, I

don't know, I don't know why that wood ape makes me laugh so fucking much. I don't know what it is, too, because there's something about- I can't say wood ape without laughing. There's something about the over serious science. It's very serious. Because it's them trying to be like, actually, we would classify it as a wood ape. But it's like, all apes live in woods, for the most part, unless they're in a zoo, they are living in some form of like a wooded thing, they're living in nature.

I would think so. So there's some mountain monkeys. Mountain monkeys is as cute as hell. Mountain monkeys is cute, yeah. But there are mountain monkeys. Yeah, of course. Monkeys are everywhere. Well, the North American wood ape conservacy considers themselves pro-science, meaning

they only want to observe. Not surprisingly, the Ford family and Falc were pro-kill, and they chased the creature around their property, firing seven times with their shotgun, before they called the local constable, Ernest Wallraven. Ernest Wallraven also has the funniest hat I've ever seen a human being have. The Legend of Bogie Creek has some of the best collection of hats I have seen in such a long time, because they are frozen in time. He is wearing- the only way I could describe it is something across between a train conductor's

cap and a popat. It is like a- it looks like a bishop- it's a bishop's hat made out of corduroy, corduroy, and he shows up and he's just like, you know, go around here, you know, never let- it's bigger feet than normal. It is a bigger feet than normal. Bigger feet than normal. You gotta believe the constable. Well, Ernest Wallraven not only believed the Fords, but he joined in, bringing his own

shotgun and a stronger spotlight. And they also had to leave for the night. I remember this bit, and he's like, all right, y'all can borrow my gun and come get me in the morning, and then go like- and I was like, you just got to borrow the cop's gun. Different time. Well, that was one of the, I guess, reenactments from Legend of Bogie Creek. They weren't actually there when Wallraven's like, you can borrow the gun, I'll be back

tomorrow. Like, it was reenactment. Yes. But that is the kind of community policing we need. You have my gun. You have my gun. And take my badge in case you got arrested, okay? And here's some handcuffs, and here's my car, and here's my wife, just so you can feel

the state-specific life of what is like to me, Constable Wallraven. See, isn't that nice? Well, the family waited on the porch for the creature to return, and when they saw a movement, they fired and thought they saw it fall. But when they walked towards the spot where they thought they'd find a corpse, the beast, still very much alive, grabbed Bobby Ford. Whoa. Well, because they keep on trying to shoot the damn thing.

You can only get away with it for so long before a big creature starts to say, stop it now, enough. So scared. Well, Bobby said he felt a hairy arm come over his shoulder, and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground and a seven-foot-tall, now heavy-breathing creature with big red eyes the size of half dollars was standing over him. The best I could describe it, it felt like Lyndon Baines Johnson just came up behind me and mounted me.

The way I describe the Boggy Creek monster is like, he's like the Joe Spinell of cryptids, where he is, he likes to watch. He's breathing, like he just likes watching, seeing what women do, and he breathes from the corner. Because to me, Mothman's a cool customer. Yeah. Right? Sure.

Not too, he doesn't sweat. You can't really see him sweat, right? Yeah. The fucking Dover Demon, you know, chill, weird, distant. Okay. But I would say Boggy Creek monster is, he's right there, he's a little uncomfortable, and he'll get sweat on you. Yes, he will.

Well, stop trying to kill the damn thing. And even though they tried to kill the creature, the attack went no further, and Bobby was able to break free and run for the house. And they were no longer terrorized by the beast. Now after this story was printed in the papers, the whole area around Texarkana seemed to be infected with creature fever. Yay. That's fun.

It is fun. It's fun, yeah. A little less than a month later, a Mr. and Mrs. D.C. Woods Jr. and a Mrs. R.H. Sedgas all saw a large hairy creature cross in the road a few miles south of Falk near Boggy Creek, which is what gave the creature its established residence. Okay. Now there were a few people trying to be reasonable here, with both papers in Texarkana publishing follow-up articles suggesting the creature might be a mountain lion, a puma, or possibly

even a gnarly horse that had been seen lumbering around Highway 71. Boo! Horrible ideas. Horrible ideas. Yeah, it's very boring. What are there such a thing as Arkansas Panthers? Because this guy, every one of the sheriffs keeps coming up, it's a panther. This is some kind of swamp panther.

And I was like, is there swamp panthers in the middle of the Texarkana area? There were panthers on the ranch near where I grew up, like up until, like, I don't know. I think my dad saw the last one like five years ago. No shit. Yeah. Aren't they like endangered? Yeah. That's why they're endangered.

They've come all the fucking time, but they got hunted out of existence mostly. Oh my god. Yeah, Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, yeah dude, gigantic big fucking cats, they got hunted out. They start eating your grandkids and you know, you got to run faster. Yes, so I don't think it'll be a panther. But even though some people were trying to be reasonable, the calls kept coming in. On June 2nd, officials were forced to respond to a call from three individuals who'd seen

a tall, hairy creature with red eyes squatting on an embankment, and cops were even required to respond to a report of a child who saw a monster in the woods on June 5th. Yeah, Kissel, maybe you shouldn't go to the woods because I can totally see you being caught by the police squatting on an embankment. Is this illegal? Is it illegal for me to take a shit on this, Rock? Yeah, one of the U.S.S. squirrel over there, I fucking, I'm just shit next to his shit. Aw, it was just trying to poop.

Sir, this is a grass embankment in front of a 7-Eleven. One of the big sightings came about a week and a half later, when Yother Kennedy found mysterious footprints in old Willie Smith's bean field. I hate riding mysterious footprints in my buddy's bean field. Yes, indeed. Who's been in your bean field there, buddy, other than myself? 13 inches long and 4 and a half inches wide, these tracks are unique, and some say fake, because they are the only hominid tracks that feature three toes.

But as impossible as a three-toed hominid seems, old Willie Smith maintained that he himself has seen the creature in 1955, although he thought it was just a wild man he'd shot at 15 times with his army rifle, and it failed the kill. Also these sheriffs just need to get everyone in the town, into the town center, everyone has to remove their shoes, and we're going to count toes. We're looking at toes today. We're looking at toes. Oh my god, Jeb, you got seven?

Seven toes. I can't be me. Damn, damn, Jeb, honestly, I'm going to say, Lord was generous with toes with you wouldn't he? Yes he was, and this is why I can't walk right. Now old Willie Smith thankfully missed, but it still wasn't enough to scare the creature away. As he said, the beast showed up again behind his house a few days later, and was quote,

throwing chunks at my dog. I don't even know what it means. I don't know. Chunks of what? Chunks of dirt? I don't know. Chunks. That was it, just chunks?

Chunks of his own shit? What was happening? That was the only quote, throwing chunks at my dog. Alright, I love it, maybe it was the fat kid from the Goonies. He tried shooting it again, but once more missed. Now one thing that people did point out was that whatever had made those tracks had been careful to not step on any of the young bean plants in the bean field, which points more toward old Willie Smith wanting to protect his crop than a wild beast bounding through

the beans. Okay. You fucking dare disturb my beans. Is it weird that I didn't even really know that beans grew underground? I honestly had no clue how beans were remotely made. I thought that they were grown in a lab. Yeah. Depends on the bean.

It does, doesn't it? I've always said that. Because they're bushes? I know bushes bake beans, but they don't come from a bush. I'm not sure. Those green beans, you know, they're in the little, the thing, and then there's other legumes that are underground, you know, like peanuts and such. Welcome to Bean Corner here on the Funny Noise Sour with the last podcast boys.

Wow. What a show. And of course, just as the hubbub reached his height, the shenanigans began. On June 28th, three young men claimed to have been attacked and clawed by the Falc Monster, but after Sheriff Greer noticed blood under their fingernails, they admitted they just got real drunk and gotten into a fight with each other. Oh, of course, and you blame it on the Bog Creek monsters. Tail was the oldest time.

I will say, though, my other buddy was on my other buddy's shoulder, so technically, we got the height correct. Yes. One radio station, KAAY, offered a $1,090 reward for the capture, and a local man named Ray Scoggins offered an additional $200 for reasons unknown. Marcus, if you could go back in time, I really do wish that we were local radio DJs in Tex Arcana. Tex Arcana?

Texcana. Yeah. Yeah, work at KAAY, 1090 AM. Oh, I'd love that so much. Yeah, I would be using it. They used to get paid pretty good. Yeah, every day, I'd be doing the bean report. Yes.

And then I would be doing the Boggy Creek watch every day. You have to. But it's just hours of me going, you seeing them yet? You seeing them yet? And now let's take some calls. Ben, I guarantee you I could get you a job at KVRP in Haskell. And you'd be listened to by every single farmer that's out on his tractor. I don't think they'd like me, Marcus, because of your city ways and your refined palate.

However, officials had to put a stop to the bounty after 500 hunters prowled the woods drunk in arms and damn near killed each other in an attempt to claim the bounty. But the main reason why we all know the Falk Monster is because a man named Charles B. Pierce made a movie based on the community's experiences we've mentioned a couple times already called The Legend of Boggy Creek. A Pierce had moved to Texark, Canada to open an ad agency in 1969 and had a bit of experience in the entertainment world from playing a character called Mayor Chuckles on a local TV show.

Yes, Lee, it does make you laugh. And Mayor Chuckles was also his code name in the human trafficking circles. Yes, of course, I believe that. So what ads is he running exactly? Beans. And Texarkans. Beans. Like what is the ad company doing necessarily?

We are currently out of beans. Beans. So you're out of beans. We'll put a new ad up when we have beans. Okay. Yeah, I mean, Texark, Canada, there's 40,000 people there. That's a lot of people to advertise to, yeah. The Pierce wanted to make a scary movie, so using the story of the Falc Monster as the

basis, he essentially created a new genre of horror, the fake documentary, and had locals pretty much play themselves. It was a, it's kind of a legendary movie. I know that it definitely started the craze of the Bigfoot schlock films in the 1970s. And The Legend of Boggy Creek is such a, I don't know, I really enjoyed it. It was very fun. Like, it's so, it's very old school, it is very slow paced, but they did a recent remaster of it, and it's beautiful.

Cool. Yeah. Yeah, if you like watching boys eat eggs, there's a lot of that in there. I just saw myself in them. Awesome. Do you guys have been looking at my porn hub search engine again? Good. Well, cool thing about this movie is that it was actually a DIY success story, because

after studio reps literally laughed him off the phone, he rented out theaters to show the film himself, and made $25 million off a budget of $100,000. Good for him, hell yeah, forget these studios, they don't know drag squat. But since the movie was such a gigantic smash hit, people descended on Falc by the thousands to try and get a glimpse of the monster because the movie had presented the creature's existence as a sure reality. And the one thing I'll say about Falc is that it definitely wasn't tourism and camera ready.

They are not a, they are not, they are not necessarily cosmopolitan place. I don't know if it's necessarily a nice place to even go remotely at all. Oh, I'm sure there's some beautiful scenic views, and I'm sure the people are very polite. I'm talking about the people. I'm not talking about the, I don't know, they seem to be fairly happy with living in a town that's only 350 people, and it seems that having a lot of outsiders come is not probably their main prerogative. Well maybe they're very smart, look what Silicon Valley did to Austin, Texas.

So maybe they had to preserve- Yeah, it sure did. They fucking ruined it. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. And Austin is still a fine place, it's a fun place to visit. Love Austin.

It's just a little expensive these days. Well going off of the publicity of the movie, the Texarkana chapter of the JCs, the same organization so beloved by John Wayne Gacy, offered a reward of $10,000 for the capture of the monster alive. What if they actually captured this monster? They don't have $10,000. There is no money, they just put these numbers on a wanted sign and they knew it was never going to happen.

You're going to find out, there's a lot of loopholes in there, you're going to find out like, ah, but you needed to put them in a bag. People also flooded Falk with letters, with nearly 800 people writing to the mayor's office thinking for some reason that the mayor had some inside information on the creature's existence. It's like thinking the president knows anything about UFOs. Yeah. That's on a need to know basis, deep within the intelligence community of Falk, which

is just a guy named Clark just sitting in a shed somewhere just being like, I don't know every secret around here, I can tell you, I find you four birds. That's why you always have to trust people named Clark. You never know, those people hold the answers to many, many questions. But the people of Falk knew an opportunity when they saw it. One of the early entrepreneurs was local Bill Williams, who opened up the Boggy Creek cafe and featured items like the three-toed sandwich and the Boggy Creek breakfast. Oh, I love it, I would be there in a freaking heartbeat.

May I ask, what are the toes? Is that a, is that a motstick? Is that a chicken finger? What are the toes? What do I have to know? I bet you it's literally like a turkey sandwich that they just called the three-toed sandwich. Well, I'll take it. Well, old Willie Smith of the Beanfield, he joined in and went full merch, making money

clips, keychains, ashtrays, cards, bumper stickers, and all manner of tchotchkes engraved with the words, home of the Falk monster. Cool. He sold all of it out of his gas station. That's it. And he sold out of all of it. Oh yeah. Absolutely.

I would have bought something if we stopped by one of those roadside attractions. I love roadside attractions. I still will, I will go to Falk to get merch. Absolutely. But today, the most coveted item in Willie Smith's merch extravaganza were casts of the original three-toed track. But it's coveted because the originals were tragically lost when the Boggy Creek cafe mysteriously burned down in the late seventies.

That may have been during a divorce. They were smoking inside a lot. This is also what I loved about them talking about the original cast. You're like, and you knew it was genuine because there were slaves called in the bottom of it. Look at that. You can't fake that. You can't fake it.

You cannot fake leaves. There's no way to fake leaves in Blaster. And I always think about my story about how I got, I got entertained out of $60 by that Bigfoot enthusiast who sold me the limited edition Bigfoot cast. But you do have that Bigfoot cast now, don't you? I have two of them now. You have two? So, yeah.

Yes, indeed. Is it a left and a right or a double right? Double left? Left and right? They're both left. Oh, no kidding. Well, perhaps the strangest artifact of the whole Pallabaloo was a bizarre, hastily recorded garage rock single called Boke Monster.

It sounds like a 1973 version of Primus ripping off Jerry Reed's Amos Moses. It's actually pretty fucking cool. It's cool. I love it. Let's hear it. I love it. It's so good. I

Feel like the Becky in the corner being like oh, I do think my my future husband is gonna make it in the business Yes, Billy Billy Cole and the folk monsters It sounds like it was recorded in one take, but they did the best that they fucking could It sounds awesome, and it wasn't easy. You know, it wasn't so easy to record back then you had to set up quite a few things It's 70s. It was more difficult. He is right. It was more difficult But you just kind of show up to a record a recording studio and just say like hey this guy will do it for me Well, I was I don't mean to defer to dog meat when it comes to questions about the recording processes of things I would say in some ways. It was easier in some ways. It was more difficult

Okay, all right. Okay, so I guess it's not that simple. Is it I guess it's complicated But not everybody in Falk enjoyed the notoriety that the legend of Boggy Creek brought now first smoky crab tree was all In on the hullabaloo, and he even published a book in 1974 called smoky and the Falk monster Which from what I hear is mostly about catfish, noodling hog hunting and snakes and honestly you can write a whole book about that And somebody did catfish noodling is one of the craziest things. I'm still amazed that it happens, and it's scary It's amazing what they what these people do with the fist and the catfish and all that stuff Yeah, yeah, I remember a friend of mine his mom dated a guy who was an expert catfish noodler But he suspected that he couldn't read. Yep. Oh

Something tells me that those two factors Sometimes arrived together Wow Oh Really, I'm just I am a city boy. I know I don't even I don't really like lakes like I don't like anything great I just don't like all the stuff in it I like a pool, and I know that if I were to be bit by a catfish I would scream and it would end the vacation like I would never bad

They don't well, they don't well they do bite, but yeah I would go back to the hotel if I stuck my foot my hand in the swamp And I got and I got accidentally if I got noodled by a catfish. I truly would quit I'd be like, I'm done with you're done with life in general. It's just all over we're going back to the Marriott Wow, you are Dan accurate's character in In one of my favorite films of all time. Yeah, the great outdoors great outdoors. That's correct No, I think it's true seemingly things were going well for smoky, but the Falk monster phenomenon started to sour for smoky after Charles Pierce Had apparently promised the people of Falk a paycheck and never delivered

What are you telling me in the world of cryptid somebody didn't follow up with the promise of pay? I can't believe it. Oh smokey even he filed a lawsuit when all the travel all the way to Los Angeles to have it heard And of course he lost because it was a you know, it was a handshake deal It's like Charles Pierce was like yes, of course everyone in Falk will get a proceeds of the profits And then once he made twenty five million dollars just fuck you. I'm not giving you anything People complain all about how everything is legal all the paperwork and I hate all the legalities and all the red tape But you gotta you gotta honor the handshake deal You got a sign on the dotted line. No, it's the opposite. Get shit in writing always. I know

She in writing I know that that you have to do that now, but it's unfortunate if you make a handshake deal That should be your word should be your bond. It's more of a test of a man's character. Yes indeed Well in addition to that the monster hunters showing up in Falk didn't treat smoky with quite the respect that he thought he deserved and some even called him and his family Liars or call them at all hours of the night to ask rude or silly questions Which is very sad a all night just getting a ring ring ring Yep. Oh, this is the Bog and Creek monster information son tell me um

Tell me are you fucking piece of shit? Oh, man, I thought the date asked a pertinent question. All right ring ring Yep, Bog and Creek monster information center. Hey fucking piece of shit. I had sex with their wife last night Fuck you buddy. Fuck you. Fuck you. This is unbelievable. It's not even the most creative phone heckling The monster hunters also had a habit of trespassing on smoky's land So he put up signs that said private monster hunters or sightseekers are not welcome and Lake closed sickness

But it wasn't spelled I know what you're thinking but it wasn't spelled with a cue and two dollar signs It just is Lake Sickness, okay, great. I mean I'd stay out I'd stay away, but of course posting the signs just meant that the monster hunters had more souvenirs to steal Damn it give it away merch and when another group of them showed up demanding to speak to smoky He chased him away with a shotgun and landed in the sheriff's office to be honest I think that that's what shows a lot of restraint from smoky That's the only time that he brandished a shotgun and a bunch of Monster Hunters

They were trespassing. What's weird though is that after the movie hysteria died down There were further sightings of a somewhat different Falc monster The second one was still hairy But instead of a giant beast the monster seen by witness Orville scoggins Was only four feet tall, but still crept around the bean field It's a little baby one. That means that the ball Creek monster had sex with maybe a human woman You don't know what happened Louise Harvan We have not heard to hide nor tail her for sense and she was slowly introducing the Bigfoot to the concept of

Having a nice meal made for you Then in 1974 the original Falc monster returned with a vengeance and jumped into a trailer being pulled by locals The guiles brothers and trashed the sweet motorcycles They'd been hauling around before it jumped out and ran back into the woods. Damn. That's just a fun day By the 80s though the sighting slowed down in 1981 Terry Sutton saw the creature while he was out fishing and a couple years later Jerry Wayne scoggins That's the third scoggins that showed up. Okay, they are again This is this is a family tree with with one branch. Oh my goodness. Okay. It's a very big family tree very large

Well, he said that he saw the creature hanging around the banks of the Sulphur River south of Falc It's jump think about the term Sulphur River down in the bottom lands. Oh, yeah, and this is all something like is it all just farts That's to me. Why why do they name it like it must smell like farts? These are not just smells like farts Does it because it's a great meeting place and what great and what greater meeting place is there on the human body? Then the butthole Now the Sulphur River seemed to be the beast new residence because he was seen there again in

1987 by Peanut Jones on a moonless night as he and his wife were out gigging frogs Just did like that's the fifth anniversary. That's a very nice frog anniversary if they like that. That's wonderful for them Well, peanut said he heard a noise and when he shined a spotlight in the general vicinity He saw a big hairy creature staring right back at him with too bright red shining eyes The next sighting was again on Sulphur River, although this one was just off the road Wait a second. What are you saying? And we buy the Sulphur River. Look at them, too Red half dollars in the distance. Look, what is what is he doing? Damn damn damn if the Sulphur River didn't live up to its name

On 8 30 a.m. On October 22nd 1990 Jim walls and Charles Humbert were driving over the Sulphur River Bridge when they said they smelled an odor So horrible it made them pull over the truck and really they couldn't drive it was so bad And we just and we looked over and then we knew it was in fact the sheriff Once they pulled over they looked to their right and saw the source of the smell a tall Man-like creature covered in shaggy black hair running across an open field They estimated it weighed about 400 pounds Although they said the face was more human than simian. It kind of reminds me

I got trapped into one of those YouTube holes the other day of watching Offensive linemen accidentally get the ball and run in touchdowns. Oh, yeah They're always been like look at tubby run Like oh look at him go look at him go He does train Yes, they are but that's adorable when they get to score a touchdown few years later a man living north of Bucky Creek on the West side of Falk said that he saw a seven-foot tall dark brown creature playing peekaboo in the woods just off his front lawn Now of course his first instinct was to shoot it

So he went inside and grabbed his pistol when he got back out though The creature was even closer this time only about 200 feet away But the man didn't shoot Yeah, cuz this I remember this specific sighting because he talked about it He had this moment where it's like I was looking upon him and I saw the ridges of his brows And I knew whatever this beast was he might have been more man than eight and I knew I could not fire upon a man Unless in war because that's only when the government makes it legal to murder in the name of one's country Well, look at that. It's very sweet and we never did find out who fair forest comes father was and perhaps it was this man

Instead the creature wandered away and when the man's wife returned from a trip to the grocery store later that evening Her husband was sitting on the front porch holding a flashlight and the pistol just to make sure she got inside safe Well, that's a very good husband It is a couple of years after that a couple of oldsters were sitting on the second floor of their house with their rifle Pointed out the window which is a regular night for them as they plan to shoot a tasty hog From the herd that usually ran through their place. Oh, that's where you got a hogs or not Oh, nocturnal animals the herds move at night. That's why you got to put puddles of barbecue sauce just all around Natalie that was the one thing we were talking about as the one kid

There was a story in Legend of Boggy Creek where a kid thought he originally it was turned out to be the Boggy Creek monster But he thought it was a deer and he ain't run out of the house because he's like I was trained by my daddy to make sure I saw during I get it is as fast as human impossible and I was explaining Natalie This is because that's where the food is they that's how they get their food Yeah, is that that thing they have to go get it because if not, it's just more fucking beans from the Skoggins fields Honestly, I don't know if the beans are that good from I'm not sure. I'm not gonna tell him his beans ain't good though I'll tell you that. Oh, absolutely not. I'll eat those beans or the grin on my face no matter how much grits in them Absolutely

But as the hogs approached the couple heard a sound that they said sounded like a whistle that turned to gibberish Then they heard a similar sound in an apply. This is the first time that we see the possibility of two creatures Fucking collusion also I've opened up the noise box again if you wanted to do a noise We're taking the noise and we're putting them back in the box and now it's locked again Then they heard a blood-curdling scream from one of the hogs and mixed in was the gibberish howl It's open again Is that a turkey like I don't know is that a turkey jerking off like David Carradine? I

God I just like inventing noises and this has been my favorite episode we've ever done Yeah, yeah, and you know usually I understand yeah, but the noise impulses definitely much more to entertain yourself because I did spend about 10 minutes last night doing the cat into the goat into the owl noise And just making myself laugh Oh, yeah, and these wives of ours these so-called wives Definitely real called wives. They are definitely real wife. They are just oh so unamused by us practicing bigfoot sounds What a shocker well the blood-curdling scream mixed with the gibberish how that went on for five minutes Howlin and squealing squealing and howlin until finally silence

And what is this the soundtrack from ruckus and the hog pen? Oh my goodness The next day the couple went out to the field to see what they could see But found nothing but a bloodstain where the hog had been killed and carried away by creatures unknown But these are only a few of the many stories people have told concerning the Falk monster But one of the originators smokey crab tree popped back up in 2001 and got ahold of the author of the book. We used as our main source today Smokey claimed that ten years earlier in 1991 a couple of hunters had discovered a strange Carcass without its head near the border of Texas and Louisiana

They believed the bones belonged to the Falk monster and they figured smokey crab tree was the guide to contact So the three men entered into an agreement in which the hunters would get a third of any future profits from the skeleton as Well as the right to show it publicly should they choose to do so while smokey would take two-thirds of the profits and Take care of the verification process to see if this was in fact the beast We are talking tens and tens of dollars almost a hundred single dollars. Wow Smokey claimed that he took the remains to several university professors and scientists paying ten Thousand dollars for DNA tests. He paid ten grand for this. I don't even know how we got ahold of ten grand

What's it like more like mortgage the fucking Rockfield? I don't know. I mean just because he lives in folk Don't mean he's poor. No, I was just ten grand is a lot of money no matter what you can make a lot of money on soybeans That's true. That is true. I know that yes very true But the only thing the scientists could tell him was that the bones weren't human That's interesting though. I mean, there's so many things that are not human. There are more things that are not human And there are human give us another 50 years But even so with the skeleton in his possession Smokey released a second book called too close to the mirror In this book he published the photos of the bones which had been arranged in such a way that made them look like they could be

From a mysterious creature, but pretty soon it was pointed out that the bones were from a big cat Most likely a Siberian tiger that is that had escaped from a private zoo To somewhere in Texas or Louisiana. I'm your private zookeeper Yeah, keep in for money That's it. Um, that's my entire parody Yeah, oh Tina Turner's private dancer in the style of Tina Turner's private dancer about being a zookeeper I have not worked it out all the way. I just did it. I just made it up just then well So this is all you wanted to do here. I'm Lauren Michaels. That was your SNL audition. That was it. That was it

Great Smokey meanwhile insists that he don't know about all that in his estimation He was once offered $6,500 for the bones which was an offer he declined But if they were just some big cat bones, what a hell would someone offer him $6,500 for the set? Do you see the logic here? I see all the logic. He would still be in the whole $3,500 It's like both ends of the business deal were stupid. He would actually be in more than a $3,500

Because remember he only gets two-thirds of the profits from the skeleton. So he'd have to give you a so he'd make like $4,100 He'd make he'd lose me losing a tremendous amount of money. I'm not gonna do some quick math here Just sell the bones. I mean, it's kind of cool. It's a Siberian Little like a cat, you know, it's kind of unique. It's a little tiger. It's kind of cool Yeah, yeah, but there's no head though and it kind of needs the head for it to be super cool Yeah, that's the most cool part of the tiger But you could put a different animal's head on it and like do kind of a jackalope type thing and

Now you're thinking outside the box now thinking about a 10 grand investment. That is actually is a 10 grand investment As far as what the folk monster could be the answer that's given most is that it's nothing Mass hysteria nothing more than people bored out of their minds making up stories to stave off the mounting existential dread, but other Explanations are more fun. Yes. Yeah, because that last one was really depressing It does remind me of last week's episode where you ended the Jodi areas episode with the word die I'm so old Willie Smith Thought that the animal escaped from a traveling circus because his daughter Lynn heard from a man who'd come through Falk back in

1953 that a circus truck had wrecked somewhere thereabouts and nothing is more solid than rumors about a circus accident From 1953. Mm-hmm. Yes. What do you think is it actually happened except it was 1951 not 1953 and lo and behold three large monkeys had escaped Okay, others say that the Falk monster is actually what's known as a moonshine monster Yeah, it looks that moonshine These fictional creatures are a version of cautionary creatures used to keep kids from drowning or getting lost in caves and such

It's why you tell a story about a creature that lives on the banks of the water because it keeps the kids away from the banks of the Water sure, but in this case it was hillbillies spreading rumors about a monster in the woods to keep other hillbillies from discovering their Illegal swamp whiskey stills all of this does sound like though an alternative plot from the goonies to where kids always Then go and investigate the mysterious monsters of course, but sometimes more often than not They just end up having sex with each other underneath a waterfall Well-drinking moonshine still others like Daryl Collier and Alton Higgins of the Texas Bigfoot research Conservancy believe that what we're dealing with here is a lost hominid owing to the vast size of the bayous and the abundance of fresh water And to them this is the most logical explanation

It's got all the hollers and got the hollers and the dips and the lowlands Bottomlands you got the midlands and some of the highlands Yeah, and then you've got trees and there's all sorts of places for these things to hide Absolutely, I think you've nailed every direction possible now the sightings of the Falk monster have all but stopped Which some point to as evidence that it was nothing more than mass hysteria in the 60s and 70s that sent aftershocks into the decades beyond But looked at another way It could be that the areas around Texarkana and Falk are not quite the swamp lands that they once were a Lot of the land has been cleared away for development

And it could be that the Falk monster like many other animal species has retreated further into nature Never to be seen by human eyes Again, that's the fern gully ending. Oh, yeah, come back come back monster We want you were be friendly with you now. Wow the legend of bug Creek What a legend it is and that is I love this American folklore tale We talk a lot about the hilt of Eric and all the other fun folklore of other lands But we have our own little folklore here, don't we? Oh, yeah, it's like a folk Yeah, the biggest folklore that America's Greatons built with good intentions

This is huge I love this story simply because of the locality of it. I like how It has its own personality and every other Sasquatch is kind of it's kind of distant. That's when it feels very Nay relatable. Yes, it does and I'm happy it no matter whether it be real or not The money that these people made off of merch was very real for them I'm happy was able to help their economy Mm-hmm and and the movie you know gave us cannibal holocaust and you know Blair Witch project and all sorts of other found footage movies They're gonna find that which one day This is an announcement next week remember last podcast and left and side stories are taking the week off

We are going to be doing bullshit. That is not this and we are excited to share with you next week The first episode of fraudsters Scenic as Navi and Justin Williams, and I hope you guys are gonna love this show Yes financial crimes and the first one right on the right out the park. I'm really excited for it's about miss Kaleo What do you think is gonna be it's gonna be pretty great? Approval it's fucking great. Mm-hmm. Love it and abling and stop at all should be doing that kind of fun I'll still be doing that and the LPN show so we'll still have plenty of shows for you guys to enjoy This week's abling and stop at special episode

We were joined by our friends the Lucas brothers to discuss their new soon-to-be hit film Judas and the black Messiah All about Fred Hampton a civil rights hero that was killed way too soon So that was a super exciting interview and it was nice to reconnect with our old friends, and they're doing so good Yes, that essay that they wrote for vulture was also very very very good. They're very talented So thank you all so much for listening. I hope you're doing as well as you can in these crazy times We'll last podcast merch. Yeah, don't forget to plug the merch We'll keep on trucking like we always do guys and gals never forget. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan y'all game Magoo's deletions

Oh, I will I will enter the people of Texacardic, Texacana Hang in there Tex arcana Tex. I'm not gonna text anyone machete. Don't text This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network comm