Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 432: Adolfo Constanzo Part III - Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs

Episode Date: November 14, 2020

This week we cover the brutal end to Adolfo Constanzo's black magic murder cult.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

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What was that? I keep trying to work on the Adolfo Constanzo voice and it just keeps sliding into Dracula. I watched some of the movie based upon the Adolfo Constanzo story called Borderland. Have you seen that? No. It is. The only way I can describe it is that they describe Mexican towns in it because they only want it to be, obviously it's just inspired by the Adolfo Constanzo story.

So they only describe all of these like fake towns that all sound like fake serial versions. Like you know like the bag serial versions of like normal series but the same thing for like the bag serial better you know I do it has more sugar and it makes your mom happy. But it's got all of the kids it basically you know instead of it being the normal American names of the Americans that were with Mark Kilroy we'll get into this story on the episode. They were all like you know Byron we got to go and live our best lives down in Mancetitas. Yeah I love that. Mancetitas.

Just call it Matamoros you don't have to make up a name you're like it's just all big. We got to go down to Gran Galito that's the only place that Santeria is still legal and it's just like you know they say they go to the Santeria like area and it's just like one squirrel skeleton like on a crucifix and you're like this was so much worse in real life there was a pot filled with human brains don't you put that in the movie. When in Mexico my final words be my final words will be when in Rome you do what the Romans did when in Mexico you eat the bug. I've always wanted to do it I don't think I have the balls welcome to the last podcast

of the left I am Ben hanging out with Henry and of course Marcus we are on to part three it's going to get bloody folks we ended last episode a little bit in the gore so be prepared for more of the gore in Adolfo Constanzo part three. This is where this whole story full fucking action slash horror movie so up to this point Adolfo Constanzo has been like the cute version of himself this is before the boss this is before you get a couple of good hits in on the boss and Resident Evil and it morphs into some bizarre bumpy evil bubbling monster that's close yeah it did kill a bunch of people up to here horrible no I know I know yeah but he gets real bad he gets real bad Neil.

So after Adolfo Constanzo began directly involving his cult members in the act of murder he and his followers embarked on what would be the bloodiest month of their existence. Now according to what Constanzo was claiming the murders were being committed in order to feed the cults magical enganga and the more the enganga was fed the more protected the cult slash gang would be when it came to other criminals and the police. Okay can I just say this seems like they're spoiling the enganga they should have started off slow little chicken blood they started with a overload of food for the enganga and now it's just the fact get a mori povich eating all the burgers with all the french fries

in front of him as mori is like are you still hungry because I'm hungry kiss let me maybe put this in terms you understand please do thank you and then ganga is not unlike the I'm gonna say the the the dearly departed KFC Thanksgiving bowl. There are many layers to the enganga I mean there better be they should have canceled it just to help America Wow all right there used to be that bowl at KFC you remember and they have all the layers and each layer is important of course creamy mashed potatoes the creamy corn the creamy chicken and everything was soft it was weird yeah if you were dead normally have a bowl of food or like a parfait right where you have many different layers

different textures I love that love a good parfait that's what the enganga serves which we were talking about in the first episode is it's layers of different universal thought or deep inside of it only looks like a big mishmash normally a palo mayonbe I if you were someone who's a tata from palo mayonbe it would be highly organized but they got pretty sloppy with it okay well I missed the part where they put the granola clusters in the in the enganga but I guess it's a different kind of parfait yeah it's one of those parfaits where it's like in Halloween you know when you're supposed to stick your hands in a bunch of bowls peeled eyeballs like peeled grapes it's eyeballs but then you find out it is

eyeballs that's my wife but as 1988 turned to 1989 it became more and more clear that constanzo's main motivations were his own personal bloodlust and the kind of simple greed that tends to settle one into a mid-level position in the Mexican drug game see by that point in time the Hernandez drug family had completely given themselves over to Adolfo constanzo's cult which meant that constanzo was commanding a group of people who had both the disregard for human life held by drug cartels and the religious devotion of crusaders this shit is very scary now because you have these guys are they are genuine like red rimmed eye devotees to Adolfo constanzo they look at him they are afraid of him as they are

adoring of him especially at this point because now you're seeing not only will he kill fucking random ass strangers with the story we covered last week when he killed those two cops was also heavily involved like they have full federale uniforms they all have badges they have all this shit it's very very tense inside of the group sounds like the beginning of the Batman forever with the Joker it's very similar suits yeah it's very very similar they you are seeing because he's got cops on the dole in his bullshit everybody surround everybody's got guns pointing at each other and also at the same time they believe that there is a dark specter inside of the enganga that's controlling all of their lives at the

same time there's a lot going on a lot going on so I believe the reference was dark night rises I believe dark night it's the first ever ever with Jim Carrey yeah Jim Carrey Tommy Lee Jones you're actually referring to just the dark night just dark night I'm glad we got to here well yes indeed but it is but Adolfo Constanzo is Joker-esque in the organization and the loyalty of his minions also with his impeccable Jack Nicholson impression where he goes are you gonna do it oh don't do this oh wow that's kind of Jim Carrey that is a chameleon you are well as such the members of Constanzo's cult believe by this point that they were invincible and invisible incapable of defeat or death so with this supposed power

behind them they began a consciousness murder spree and Adolfo became one of the few serial killers in history with acolytes at his beck and call he had staff wow yeah he did in December of 1988 Ovidio Hernandez joined the cult in an official ceremony after he was made a true believer following his supposedly miraculous escape from the kidnapping that had resulted from Constanzo trying to double cross some coke dealers right video was like is he the is he the older brother of Elio or is he the younger brother I believe he was a younger brother yeah well Elio was that Elio was the one in charge and at this point he's been slowly getting Elio into more of the serious side of cutting people's ears off and nipples

off and fingers off but Ovidio at this point is there a light hearted side of cutting people's nipples off and ears off and fingers off is there like a goofy time in that you cut the guys ear off and then when the guys scream and you go and you hold up the ear to your own ear and go I can't hear you I can't hear you that's what's funny and everyone's laughing because they're scared it's funny though but apparently the cult had learned a thing or two from their past blooper and they tried the double cross again in early 1989 with greater success while Ovidio and Elio were hanging out at los sombreros a Hernandez brothers favorite they were approached by a small time trafficker named Ezekiel Luna

Rodriguez Rodriguez told him that his gang had just come into 1700 pounds of weed and if the Hernandez gang was interested it could be theirs for $400,000 now what I love is this story in the book if you read buried secrets is they you know they have this point have gained a bit of a reputation in the town where people come they know that not only they drug dealers but also they do a lot of human sacrifice and El Dubey has been in and out of los sombreros and this is true because we know he killed somebody in los sombreros over a small time deal and he basically there was a death warrant out for him no matter what now it's it's kind of at this point it's kind of cool out right yeah but they all

know that all this bullshit is going on they're sitting drinking beers alone in the corner this guy comes up he's like I've got 1700 pounds of weed for you it's like we're going to and I need your help to move it and they're like they just both like looked at him they're like I don't know like why would you come to us what how could we possibly help you and he's like we know that you are in the business and you're like he's like oh you know if we're in the business or not who who is to say you know my friend there are many different types of business what kind of business we do shoes I also know that you guys commit human sacrifices to protect yourself from the federales and they said to both of them

there was like a moment of silence where they were both looking at their beers and they went haha ridiculous that is absolutely ridiculous meanwhile everyone just staring at them knowing for a fact because El Dubey was in there for weeks showing people he used to keep severed toes and fingers in his he's El Dubey he used to go and this is true he used to go up to people in the and low sombreros and be like hey man you want to check out some of these souvenirs yeah I got man this is real he's like you got to join us dude man I mean you want to see in here how about a fucking finger I got them in my pocket dude really take a look at it bro it's a street fucking bonger dude all right can I see that here please yeah

yeah putting it up to my ear can't I can't hear you're gonna see for a long time I didn't I underappreciated you as a friend yeah because I've been going through some heavy shit dude I've been fucking cutting these fingers off and honestly for me it's been pretty heavy for me I know what has El Dubey and you show me the lighter side of all this shit no problem makes my fucking shit feel tighter than ever you look tighter than ever do me yeah but guys I got I got something to add here though putting an ear up to someone else's ear that doesn't make sense because ears don't talk you'd have to put up the the ear a tongue to another person's ear you sound like a fucking narc dude get the inganga get the inganga get the inganga oh my

god we have another human sacrifice here so eventually Rodriguez convinced the guys to set up a meeting with Adolfo Constanzo and it would be the last fucking thing he ever did so when Adolfo inspected the weed he informed Luna that this was subpar because I would imagine it's probably that seeds and stems dirt weed shit we used to get in Texas that so you remember that shit they used to smell vaguely like gasoline well we don't know because there's some people said that this was a this was like a tactic that they used to get them all upset because actually apparently how to be smoked it he's like I don't know what you guys are fucking talking about this fucking killer doobie you're an idiot the terpenes in this shoot dude it's got purple hairs on it man

well when Adolfo said that this is shit weed Rodriguez flipped out and when Rodriguez was off its guard Constanzo's cultists ambushed him and bound him with duct tape before snipping off his fingers one by one so he so he'd tell them where he was hiding the 1700 pounds of weed all right well definitely he got in over his head yeah I think that's safe to say how do you snip off someone's fingers do they go the dark man route where they do it with the cigar cutter remember that beginning I remember dark man super trippy or do you go with the knife or do you actually use scissors they used a 10 snippers yeah well to me and I don't understand you don't have that would fucking hurt man you're right I don't think you have to go to all of these extents to make someone

tell you where the weed is I think most of the time you have to be like here's two back fucking stage tickets to Alice Cooper oh hell yeah let's go find my bales dude honestly the guy should have just given him a time machine and been like 30 years from now in Colorado that's where the weed is these poor bastards all over frickin shitty nug yep and even after this guy told them that the weed was hidden at a ranch 50 miles southeast of manor morris constanso cut off two more fingers and a nipple for even daring to keep the truth from him in the first place honestly not I'm not victim blaming obviously this person didn't deserve anything all but it's just you just fucking you don't fuck with a tribe or a cult that you know is doing human sacrifice why would this be the one

where it's like why don't we try to sell him some bunk weed just give him the good stuff I don't understand why this person tempted them they're crazy well it was never about the quality of weed they were always going to steal the weed and they were always going to kill every single person involved with that pile of weed I don't know why the weed wasn't bad it was whatever it didn't really matter it just came down to it they needed to move it anyway but I don't really know why you go to the two human sacrifices to help you no definitely not and then once Constanso's gang and Rodriguez got to the ranch and found the weed Constanso directed two farmhands who worked at the ranch to dig a grave and once they were done Constanso picked up a mac 10 and quickly ventilated

Rodriguez and the two farmhands oh the two farmhands didn't deserve that no and after the men fell back into the holes they just dug the newly initiated a video hopped in and used a machete to crack open their skulls and remove the brains like so much egg yolk because I said the same thing I'm just because as I'm watching Borderland I keep saying like just do the plot in the mood just do the real plot of the story it's so much scarier than whatever it is you're doing it's the most metal horrible shit in the world all right then after they cracked open the heads the other members did their part by hopping into the grave and removing the hearts and the genitals and once the cult got back to Rancho Santa Elena the gore was dumped into the enganga hidden in the ritual

shed which pleased Cady and Pimbe or at least that's what Constanso said plus they got 1700 pounds that weed they got the weed that's great okay they got the weed I mean it's not great again none of this is good they roll that shit like that shit smoke that shit if you're if you're a cult though this is a pretty good uh this is a good day to be a serial killing uh cannibalistic feeding the cannibals they're not cannibals they're not cannibals I'm sorry but disgusting human sacrifice although we'll get into that later I don't know I'm just saying if you're in this cannibals of matamoros I'm not saying that's where you draw the line also you know somebody put their finger in the enganga and drunk it when and took a little taste when they were all hammered

that it a little challenge el dooby did it for a while you know that he's a funny guy but nine days after that murder Constanso decided more blood was needed but this time he wanted one of his followers to do the deed he declared that it would be elio the head of the Hernandez gang who would hold the machete that time so constanso elio and another cultist went to a cafe in matamoros to find a victim that had absolutely nothing to do with the drug trade they walked up to a random patron at los sombreros stuck a gun in his ribs and forced him into their car but when the abductee panicked and started screaming elio shot him in the head which of course made constanso furious he said that the planned sacrifice was now ruined and they'd have to find someone else I mean honestly

if you've ever seen my sister get mad about ruin mashed potatoes you can't imagine just how upset it golf and stanza would be if you ruin the sacrifice so what he's upset because there's a bullet in the head in the brain well you ruined it you didn't get the juice from it yeah yeah he ruined it because the person was killed without a ritual he was just unceremoniously shot in the head in the backseat of a car I because he was screaming okay tragically the person who replaced that sacrifice was 14 year old jose garcía luna luna was walking down the highway near rancho santa alena when a truck full of cultists pulled in front of him and before he could say a word they covered his head in a sack and took him to the shed now by this point a dolphin had worked

elio into a bloodthirsty frenzy because the first solo sacrifice is a pretty big deal in the life of a murder cultist it's like a bar mitzvah right so when jose was brought into the shed with the sack over his face elio showed no hesitation the moment the sack was pulled off elio took the machete he was holding and swung he was supposed to take off the top of the skull but he aimed too low and ended up decapitating the victim instead but elio hadn't really gotten a good look at his victim before striking the fatal blow when he did look down at the decapitated head on the floor he saw that the boy he'd killed was very recognizably his 14 year old cousin oh my god it's honestly it's similar to the movie looper bag over the head you randomly you got to kill him and then you

realize it's a relative or in looper's case it's actually you from the future this is very scary I mean how he really would have flipped out if it was him from the past well because he disappeared isn't it if he chopped up his own boy head and then he looked in the mirror and then he disappeared then you'd be like oh what's even happening here absolutely it's a real back to the future moment now we don't know if Constanzo directed the cultist to find a family member as a way to punish elio or if it was all just a coincidence but after elio realized what he'd done a dolphin picked up where elio had left off he gathered the head struck it with a machete and scooped out the brain so he could feed the enganga he then instructed his cultist to pick up the headless body and drain

what blood hadn't already been spilled on the floor into the cauldron then a dolphin ordered elio to cut open the chest and remove the heart and lungs he did it specifically because a dolphin sanso because elio was beside himself he was he was crying and shit and he looks like my friend as soon as you cut the heart out you will feel so much better and so he went and cut out the heart himself did he feel any better he said yes yeah actually i do feel better geez okay yeah now after this murder constanso told his followers that they'd built up enough magical power to protect them for a while oh good yeah did you dead enough for a bit okay good yeah this is where a dolphin constanso is clearly a serial killer with a team versus a cult than anything because he does have

cool down periods for a time so he says the in my mind he keeps talking about these ideas that oh we've built up magical cred we've got it but there are times when he decided it is not enough and there are times when he just randomly kills people too this story is him he gets what he wants like a serial killer does and he has his rush he feels it and then he's like i am satiated for a while and he is attaching that to the powers of the enganga saying like the enganga sack is is satisfied meanwhile he's just going into his very traditional serial killer cool down period so you guys mentioned that he's a serial killer a few times can you imagine any other serial killer like berkowitz trying to lead a cult i know there were some cult ties to berkowitz but can you imagine

any of these other maniacs these loners these losers attempting to be leaders edgine has a group of cronies hey everybody doing a day welcome to the upholstery meeting yeah and so you got a couple of nipples here these are these are fun aren't they everyone's been like yeah that's not a cult that's the engine running a craft group yes hey mom but hey my mom has been in some craft groups they are just a step below Scientology absolutely well the thing is that you know reality was matching Adolfo Constanzo's claims that they had built up magical protection nobody was looking for Jose although one could argue that it was kind of pointless to kill someone for a ritual if the whole point of the ritual was to keep people from discovering you killed someone i don't know a lot

of the logic is flawed with these sacrifice cults these human sacrifice cults sometimes there's a leap and jump to conclusions yes they shoot they try to jump and what was it you try to make it to the moon you shoot for the moon but if not you end up in the enganga not good but it wasn't the magic that was keeping the cops from searching for Jose like with the victims that dean coral killed in houston the police assumed that jose had gone elsewhere for work they thought he probably crossed the border went to texas and he's never gonna come back so why fucking look for you know what this story doesn't have that dean coral story had candy there's we talk but no candy talk there's a very little candy in this story for some reason i don't know why snickers didn't

want to endorse this team you're not you when you're hangry but it's like actually him this is like a super peaceful wonderful like jimmy carter then he takes a bite of the snickers and then it's Adolfo Constanzo again that's very nice yeah sometimes people always say oh you must be hangry have a snickers but sometimes when you have a lot of snickers and peanuts inside of you you can do bad things too yeah because you have protein to fuel you exactly well to the cult this lack of investigation was proof that their rituals had power you know instead of it instead of the truth which was that it was just proof of the kind of laziness that seems to be inherent in most human institutions also law enforcement wasn't doing their job no because we'll find out too i mean just

think about how many federales were working with constanto actively there was so this whole so much corruption just in these border worlds and then again it's this whole thing i never understood this whole concept of yeah boys run away yeah they just run away i mean like i don't know as a boy i was scared of the outside i think a lot of kids want to run away i mean do they want to run away want to run away i don't know if they ever do but a lot of people i'm sure has there ever actually been a story of a runaway going to hollywood and making it big uh locking phoenix okay two stories right there boom kids they run away kids run away regardless though constanso told his cult that as long as the magical shield of blood was in place bullets couldn't pierce the

cult and to the eyes of the cops the cult would be invisible even if the cops came right to rancho santa alaina now those 1700 pounds of weed represented a huge profit opportunity for the cult but constanso's increasing need to kill was getting in the way or before he could go months without sacrifices now he was demanding them just days apart he's going into berserker mode yep and now he's but imagine a serial killer going into berserker mode with three other serial killers because ldb was uh a total maniac yeah you discover more and more there was like a story that ldb used to climb to the top of telephone poles and point his gun at random people in the streets gta 5 this is crazy it's really really insane elio after killing his cousin goes full

serial killer like yeah he has changed completely because he won't he stepped over the line and sarah al drete we're gonna get into even more of her shit she just she knew what she was doing all right exactly what she was doing well yeah we'll get to her in a second after a short trip to mexico city constanso returned to demand another sacrifice from his followers and it didn't really matter who it was just so long as it was a man because if you'll notice constanso never killed women i don't know what it is i know what it is he was gay and serial killers sale no i mean it goes back to the whole serial killer thing like gay serial killers kill other gay you know they kill people in that same sex they kill people that they want to fuck yeah and

that's right if you look at tall serial killers they tend to kill tall people and short serial killers tend to kill short people sir please leave the fbi office so you're not helping any of us how tall is the person you're looking for 5 10 you're gonna be one looking for victims around 5 9 to 5 11 yeah jeffrey dommer only killed men ted bunny only killed women but also at borderland it showed it like you know the guy that was the fake adolfo constanso a guy named san denaya he was like he had two naked women at all time like he was like sucking on their tits and all this kind of shit but in my mind i was just like man for us why is this to me so much scarier that this stuff was like gay as all get out like the fact that it was just this like clan of gay

brujeros all just killing people i don't know what it is it's something about it being like it makes your shoulder shake it makes your hips go i'm happy you're exploring this conceivably be killed and raped by them oh yeah oh no there you go buddy and i would squeal and squeal and squeal and get so much good juice for the ingangang the other guy you did you the other guy you describe sounds like the living embodiment of slash's instagram i love his instagram it is great he loves boobs that's for sure so in order to kill two birds with one stone so to speak adolfo constanso and the cult chose a mexican drug dealer as their next victim a guy who had been caught selling cocaine on hernandez turf in matamoros oh tasked with the kidnapping was

little seraphine hernandez david valdez aka the flirt and sergio selenus aka el meriposa that's me i'm the butterfly yeah very nice they call me that because of them i got back flaps oh cool and soon enough they'd found the dealer and brought him to the ranch where each cult member participated in the ritual each one took turns slicing and beating the dealer before constanso raped him but the problem constanso had was that the dealer did not scream in fact he remained completely silent the entire time even after constanso started skinning him alive oh my god this shit is out of control they said they had him in the room and he's want he is not reacting at all they are doing everything in their damnness to get a fucking reaction from him snipping parts of them off

and if he starts snit he's literally skinning him alive and he's not making any noise i would give them everything they want if they wanted me to scream um because if i even look at the scissors i'm gonna start screaming i would just the whole thing i would just be screaming immediately start freaking out my goal is to scream so much it ruins the ritual just ruin it yeah well to constanso the quote-unquote ritual wouldn't work unless the victim screamed that the in quisi living in the enganga wouldn't be satisfied without terror and the cult's magical protection would ipso facto fade oh my goodness but looked at from a different perspective constanso couldn't get off on a murder unless he was causing active pain and fear because it seems like a big motivator for doing these

rituals was that constanso was actively making nightmares come true he wanted to make it as scary as possible oh no he definitely worked he definitely worked he projects it out and we talk about serial killer homes quite a bit on the show like we talked about their domiciles no but i mean like we talk about how serial killers will exteriorize their inner bullshit with their homes and and how they live their lives like edgine whole house is a nightmare except for his mother's room which is perfectly pristine jeffrey dom are living in a world of shit creating the altar to like which is actually if you look at it jeffrey dom are was trying to live the life that a dull folk constanso was doing very similar in terms of like ritualistic very intense personal

sexual murder it's almost creepier with a midwest accent it is oh you didn't you got to take the heart out you cut the brain you shot the brain but is that just not the brain now we can't use the brain for the ritual it's just our xenophobia though where we're like it's for a dull folk constanso you're like man he's just like i guess he was real scary in the drug trade it definitely sounds cool in a smooth Spanish accident oh you took the freaking you're freaking took the brain you know what the problem is the problem with boiling all these different types of dicks at once is that some cook at different temperatures and then i got some of them burned to the bottom of the pot and i went i got i shouldn't have used my lacrosse not for this this is too good still

sounds kind of like a good midwestern guy to me so as soon as the drug dealer died as a result of the torture constanso full of frustration turned to his followers and gave them a command next time he said bring me an american oh we will scream someone blonde and soft specifically he said quote bring me someone i can use someone who will scream i love that he is like give me a punchy american yeah we need a bitch it really is true it's like and it cuts to me leaving my accountant job everybody be like oh man i was just thinking life is kind of boring could use some adventure i tell you what i could really use a mix up every once in a while they have something unsuspected to happen now this command couldn't have come at a more convenient time for the cult

america was right in the swing of that year's spring break and matamoros being right on the border was full to the brim with underage students looking to spend a week drunk spring break i don't want to sound like a parent but in the 80s mexico very frickin scary there's no rules no rules everyone is so fucking hammered i would have again thank god six foot seven man nobody would have abducted me but good lord you gotta be careful out there i would have tried no i mean to be honest if i was a little seraphine and i looked at you you would you would have tried to abduct me think about how a dolphin would be so happy with me if i got a big boy if you want a screamer no i mean this story right here like we went to for our senior trip we went to south padre island that's right

south texas uh they told us that if we went to matamoros we would not graduate from high school uh that's how fucking serious they were about it and it's because of this story right here this story spring break this story ruined a lot of spring breaks and let me ask um can i ask an inappropriate question before we get into this whole they had into how grisly all of this it is fire away i told him mark as i told henry on side stories that we've privatized uh free speech jail i'm next to these we're gonna see oh free speech jail looks like it's closing it's like no we actually just had a big privatized contract i guess so the prison's actually bigger than ever there was a work release program that i'm supposed to go in the part of it it was that because i've shown good behavior

i'm supposed to go do this i'm supposed to boil up the swedish bikini team as a part of my work release program that's right yes forget your wife is gonna love that new job of yours this is a job don't you want health insurance um but do you feel was there ever any sort of like not happiness but the story like didn't involve texas tech that because it didn't involve texas tech and involves university of texas but because of how yeah because of your intense almost i'm not going to say ignorant yeah but the the hatred all of the colleges have for each other within texas did this kind of fall along texas university party lines of course no you fucking psychopath no no i ain't saying that does not belong and that does not send him to free speech jail

he's just asking questions i just ask you questions just curiosity is not illegal yet no not yet not yet well one of those students was mark killroy a 21 year old attending the university of texas he gone to matta morales with a couple of buddies and spent a fair amount of time drinking incidentally at los sombreros which was the favorite hangout of the hernandez brothers and also the place where fucking el dubi had already killed a guy and that's insane that they're going down to spring break and just going into these fucking bars where murderers are hanging out yeah because of the time you are on spring break so you think everybody's on spring break i think you show up to these bars and you think everyone's here for a good time and the people serving you

drinks they love that you're there and and the people that run the rest they love that you're there even though i mean they do love you that you're there they need your money they're very thankful for your money but at the same time they also need your heart and your brain for a human sacrifice which is not good but but you know he might as well ask the same thing about the american workforce well your heart and your brain well that is freaking true 40 hour work week a little too long if you ask me i agree but that wasn't where the shit went down eventually mark and his friends made their way to a place called hard rock cafe but not the hard rock cafe it was originally called london pub but during spring break but during spring break they changed the

name to hard rock cafe to bring in all the drunk tourists well they must have noticed immediately it wasn't a real hard rock cafe because there was no rock stars there you know like any band slash he's always there slash wasn't there he's always hanging out you've ever seen him at the university the universal city walk yeah of course hanging out of hard rock where they hang out he loves it but honestly what would i give her a hard rock cafe matamoros no be dope i survived great good for you so after mark and his friends got suitably wasted at the fake hard rock they began the long stumble over the bridge back to brownsville but mark being considerably drunker than his friends fell behind and since they weren't considerably drunk themselves they didn't really notice uh no

no soldier left behind no no come on come on and that was when mark was spotted by little seraphine and elgato who were both scanning the bridge for a suitable victim for adolfo constanzo so it's so like a movie it's so it's so weird because it's these gangs of literally cult members just like watching the streets waiting for one because that's all they were doing they're waiting for a weak person at the end of a pack i mean if you are if you're like hunting and you're like we're hunting drunk americans who cross the border i guess it's proud you're gonna get one yeah we are definitely going to be doing that yeah so little seraphine and elgato pulled up and asked mark if he needed a ride over the bridge and mark said that he did and he was fucked up and he had drank too

much let me tell you though is it or one of you dressed up as a cat a gelical cat you want to make a gelical cat joke this man is about to be abducted and this is what the joke you want to make i am not dressed up as a cat i am you are thank you gelical cat well mark killroy got in the truck but when the abductor stopped at a bar called sergeant peppers for a piss break before heading out of town killroy finally felt that something was real fucking wrong he got out of the truck and drunkenly ran toward the border but unfortunately for him el meriposa and the flirt were acting as backup and when they yelled freeze at mark killroy he did as he was told why do i think that the flirt dressed like one of the girls from white christmas as they were singing with the with

nice flowers and all the feathers and stuff remember that what are you talking about white christmas you don't watch that with your mother we can cut it out i'm just creepy it's just like you know i feel like i'm fucking chill up my spine are you talking about the bing crossby movie yeah just some about classic you don't watch it with your mother all the time no i just see the opposite i see you shirtless sitting on your couch with just your basketball shorts on drinking jack daniel's eggnog watching white christmas and singing along with crying along i love that movie of course i watched that yeah well the flirt and el meriposa identified themselves as police and told mark killroy that he was under arrest for public drunkenness and mark being the good

trusting american boy that he was did what he was told by what he thought was an authority figure well they had honestly in the drunk mind of mark he has to be like they are right well no they had badges they had badges they had the paperwork they had they would look like especially if you're bleary eyed hammer yeah yeah because how many times have you had that like if you've had a party busted up by a bunch of cops and you know i remember back in the day when people would just like scatter like in college where the cops would come and everyone would jump all the fences and run away but just like i you're caught dead to rights by a cop ostensibly in a foreign country yeah and you just go like what are you gonna do you'd be like yeah because because you probably have heard the

story how many times people have been picked up by public for public drunkenness they get thrown in the drunk tank and then there's they're there all night so you kind of figure like oh fuck them off to call my buddies in the morning and so in some way you're you're scared but it's also this weird kind of weird right of passage where you got arrested on spring break and he has no clue that that it was a trap bro yeah he went back in little seraphine's truck willingly and began the journey toward the ritual shed at rancho santa elena once they were out of town mark was bound by duct tape and once they arrived at the ranch he waited because a dolphin was out of town and the cult couldn't very well start without him so for a full day mark killroy sat in the bed of little

seraphine's truck bound and gagged the only person to show him kindness was the caretaker domingo bustamante who briefly removed the duct tape from mark's mouth to feed him scrambled eggs out of pity but he definitely wasn't going to save him because no again he was he truly was only a ranch hand so he is on he is on the the where the devil's ranch sort of become known as and he knows that he's he hates the suffering that this dude is going through but he also knows that he can't release him because then you get on the wrong side of constant this cold yeah you're really damned if you do damned if you don't also mark is i'm really upset you said the word scrambled eggs because uh daw salad and scrambled eggs oh my god how did you know that kelly has been

watching frazier all week long and i just been walking through the house going maybe i hear that's how i got it again well i will say um i don't know if a dolphin constanso got to see frazier i don't know all i know is honestly we could still do a full episode on kelsey grammar's life that is another horror story i don't want to get involved no i don't want him because he's as well he's worse than the cartels because kelsey grammar will show up well he has real power doesn't he but once constanso arrived that's when shit got bad it's going to get real fucking awful from here on out oh yeah just so you know i don't know if you've already experienced anything like you should just understand that all of this is gold star from going

this is going to be nasty okay good to know killroy was taken to the ceremonial shed where constanso ellio and martin were waiting he was sodomized and castrated while he was still alive and when constanso split his skull open with a machete little seraphine who was waiting outside said it sounded like a coconut being cracked open oh constanso then scooped out killroy's brains and threw them into the enganga saying that the brains of an american college student would make the enkisi more intelligent and therefore more powerful i mean to be fair he's obviously never met an american college student it's not going to make him more intelligent no after that though he brought in the rest of his followers for the mutilation eldubi was handed the machete

and told to cut off killroy's legs which he did chopping off the feet first before moving on to the knees and the rest of the cultists now numb to this whole fucking process made jokes as eldubi did the whole fucking operation who would ever make jokes when talking or seeing something horrific what they said last week um yeah not us um but they uh they said last week i believe we said this they said that but the point that you get to the by the time you get to the point that you are dismembering the body right it is just meat so they can distance themselves because they weren't allowed inside of the shack when he was doing the actual ceremony so they are not there experiencing the actual death they're there as a part of the like the ritualistic what they're doing like how

they treat the body before they put it in the ungodly so adolfo did these things alone and then he would let two people i see honestly how long does it take i don't know if anyone will know this mark as you know bones but if you have a machete how do you just chop off it's not a freaking it's not it's not a movie made by sam ramy how do you chop off a leg with a machete that that doesn't just happen it must take like time you have to like take a while it takes a while you got to break through you got to break through the bones like unless the machete is extraordinarily sharp yeah it's going to take time it's not going to be a fast process and even if the machete is sharp it's not going to be a fast process well they said that was a part of the a part of the ritual

was that adolfo can sound so would sharpen the machete in front of you because he's building the tension of fear so he did keep his machete incredibly sharp and then again he had gotten so used to the motion of it that he got good at it right yeah but this is i mean this was el dubi that was cutting off the legs of the corpse he then grabbed constanzo's dagger and cut open kilroy's chest he pulled out the heart and joining in on the ritual said quote my soul is dead i am no longer a human being the angaga was then fed the heart and kilroy's spine was cut away to let it be made into another necklace what was left to the body was then shoved into a grave and the cult most likely punctuated the entire experience with burgers and fries as was their custom

after performing a murder ritual and that's why we hear it what a burger we love our better burger family are you angry did you oh my god oh it's just the burgers and fries first of all such a traditionally american food that's our that's our culture america loved burgers and fries that was our favorite but it's also just such a basic thing you eat it after a soccer game yeah you know like burgers and fries it's so that's where the cultiness really shows itself or how this has become a part of their regular behavior this is not but they all become a hive mind of a serial killer where they just because the rush is now over yeah so no one was on a diet in the group no one was like oh never mind i don't want a burger and fries i'd rather have a toss salad and

scram nobody said that nobody said that isn't that fun well i'm having fun here now naturally the now naturally the disappearance of a white college student matta morose with statewide news bordering on national yeah but there were no leads to be had at all furthermore mexican police were trying to pass the buck by claiming that kilroy had disappeared in brownsville not matta morose saying it ain't our it ain't our fucking job what do you want us to do however while the media blitz that came with the disappearance of mark kilroy came as a complete surprise to constanzo no witnesses came forward no cult members leaked the truth and the murder ranch was still way off the police radar as far as the cult was concerned they were safe and constanzo was telling them that even though

the police searched everywhere for mark still they could not touch the cult and it was this overconfidence that eventually got them caught but on the other hand constanzo did resume killing two weeks later with no consequence whatsoever see the cult still had that 1700 pounds of weed and adolfo convinced the cult that they just couldn't get rid of it without magical protection which could now only be gained through human sacrifice god if this is why we have to stop these kids young when it comes to playing dnd you are becoming this is nerd this is i can't handle this because i get so mad because i watch the oprah special in the matta morose killings to open a lot to say back then it's immediately vilifying dice yeah dice has nothing

to do are you with sacrifice it's a game for nerds let them have an image they they are allergic to air half these nerds half these people have butt cheeks scarred by wenches thank you they'd let them be wizards that's how you make a super villain so for the cult second to last victim adolfo constanzo chose a regular dude named guilberto sosa see sosa had the unfortunate luck to fall in love with adolfo constanzo's madrina sarah al dready she was fucking that oh no you know what was amazing about sarah's part in this story was that throughout the whole thing she was still going to college in brownsville to study teaching during the day and it was there that she'd met guilberto sosa and in fact i watched uh an episode of deadly cults where they talked

to a couple of her uh classmates and just all of like yeah you know she was kind of witchy but otherwise she was a real nice girl i don't know how you do the most intense human sacrifice some of the most intense murders we've ever covered in last podcast and laugh and then just go to school like i can kind of see you go into like i guess being a going and being an instagram influencer yeah i could be like that working out but i guess that's part of the power right the duality of it all i'm just going to school to be a teacher then cut to her at freaking midnight eating somebody's heart i guess not eating i'm sorry they're not they're not paying to cross the line it's factual it's just being factual just cutting somebody's heart out and putting it in in gonga without eating

it they're being very naughty interior decorator that's it demo day well there's also the argument that sarah aldredi actually didn't participate in any of the murders but we'll get to that here in a bit now she and guilberto sosa had dated briefly but after sarah hooked up with adolfo constanzo she began ignoring guilberto but guilberto just couldn't leave it alone and after sarah told constanzo about guilberto's persistence constanzo saw an opportunity he ordered sarah to invite guilberto over to her house so he could quote unquote take care of it and she did as she was told as soon as guilberto arrived at sarah's home elgato shoved a gun into his ribs and forced him out to a car that was bound for the shed now maybe the cult was juiced up by the assumption

that they'd gotten away with killing an american but the cultists set upon guilberto sosa with a group frenzy that hadn't yet been seen in the ritual murders they swarmed their victim all at once cutting off fingers and toes and flailing at him with fists and knives all while he was still alive cheese and finally constanzo gave elgato the privilege of slashing sosa's throat for the inevitable blood draining and to tell you how truly routine this had all become to the cult the whole group paused the ritual after the killing to eat burgers and fries more burgers and fries again we're at the water burger family we appreciate a little bit and we want as many people as possible to be delighted by our flat burgers and our very brown flies well the heart

disease is a silent killer and it will be caused by too many burgers and fries but i think these people are worse than heart disease yeah you think so i think so you are simply you're like an un ambassador you know what i decided i want to be andy rooney what's the deal with license flights i think that that is uh that's almost inevitable for you why would anyone wear flip flops who likes to make noise like they're a duck when they walk you aren't going to be i think you can't escape that fate well yeah they paused the it was but in the middle of the ritual after the killing like hey guys let's go have some burgers and fries i'm fucking pooped i'm famished and then after they finished up they finished the ritual they put they waited until after eating to throw

all of the brains and gore and all that into the angangas because they're trying to juice the upcoming drug deal dovel though man you think that this time we can all get milkshakes instead of coax okay just these one time yay dates up adrena and a demonic group of freaking maniacs but before they did the drug deal the cult had one more murder to commit although this one was more related to the drug trade than napal my umbe before we get to this i do have a question when it comes to human skinning yeah how long because you say they're alive true question how i mean how does that work how long can you be skinned before your body is just like tap out dude you got to die that's not an idea that is not a question that is not information

i have access to yeah that's a horrible um grizzly question well i don't know because it's horrifying because all of this is just everyone you're the one who asks the questions i'm asking a question as well tost Allen and scramble but what i'm saying is it because you're doing all of this when they're alive yeah i just do want to know maybe side stories lpotl at gmail.com i'm not sure how anyone would know that i do because honestly i'm really afraid if you do have the answer because it means you might have done it no you could all i mean you know my educated guess uh is that someone would probably go in a shock long before uh they bled to death if you're skinning them alive yeah that's just my guess though okay all right i know i don't

really both of you are acting like you have skinned corpses in your basement right now no you guys don't you definitely have the answer but you guys are not telling me i've never skinned a corpse but i have a lot of corpse skin that's just on my body because no one tells you what happens when you lose weight i know well about nine months previous to all this al dubey like we said he'd killed a drug dealer at los sombreros and the dealer's body guy named victor saucita was out for revenge so when constanso learned of this plot he hired two police officers to lure saucita into their patrol car they then drove saucita to an alley and pushed him out where elio hernandez and two other cultists were waiting and after being taken to the shed saucita looked up and saw constanso

standing before him who cinematically said welcome to the house of the devil your soul belongs to me now constanso then chopped off saucita's fingers and ears castrated him gutted him and removed the skin from his face before finally removing the brains from his head and after his body was found the autopsy and what sounds like a cheeky simplification listed the cause of death as quote an absence of brain this man has senator syndrome call the capital steps henry has an application way i'll kill each one of them i'll kill each one of them with a guillotine if i was given the opportunity there you go wow well meanwhile the cult still had to sell all this weed and the deal that's what i was gonna that was what i was thinking about also no no Henry you

wouldn't know this doesn't weed go bad it can get stale but it takes a long time but they're not they're not really concerned about the quality again this is not this is going to be high times in sherman oaks you know i mean like this is like this is not a good spot like they are just shipping weed to america but this also shows that they gave up on the business side right i know that's like weird thing to point out but right at this point you realize that like you feel like at some point they're like hey did we have almost a ton of marijuana like we thought we were supposed to be like moving that shit what happened all that they're like they're like no no this is the real work the enganga is the real work and they're like no no but i thought actually the enganga was

supposed to help the weed work no there's no money you can't monetize the enganga but the deal was proven harder to make than the cult hoped it'd be because they'd gotten a bit of a reputation as double crossing murderers weird howl i don't know howl took a bit to find a buyer but finally they hooked a guy in houston named chacho but just a few days before the weed was set to be smuggled across the rio grand little seraphine fucked up and brought the whole operation down with him in an act of stupefying hubris he really must have been his big hat and his droopy mustache i really blame it i blame his mustache really see little seraphine like all the other members of the cult believed adult those bullshit about being invisible to the cops especially since they

committed two more murders after mark killroy without a hint of investigative attention uh so when little seraphine saw a police checkpoint on the road ahead as he was driving back to the ranch one day he figured the rules didn't apply and he blew right through without even slowing down well he took that away too literally yeah it's a it's a plot from like a chris farley movie right what are you john syna yeah he can uh he thought he was invisible right but it's more of it it's more of a metaphor for us sticky yeah but he didn't know that little seraphine was stupid and so he thought he was legitimately like that everywhere he went a hat just floated and then he went and picked up like you know if he picked up a drink it would float up and down and people go

whoa but i don't think he understood no one had the reaction like that so you're not invisible yeah they were people are seeing you all the time they saw you all the rest of the time you were in town so why would they not see you now well he thought that they were he was invisible to the cops and he thought that as long as he got to rancho santa elena he would magically disappear just like constanzo said and the cops would be magically stopped at the property line this is not at all what happened no okay instead the cops followed him right onto the ranch where they quickly found a statue of the trickster god eleguer and this immediately told the cops who'd heard rumors of dark santeria in the area that they were in fact dealing with witches or brujira and this legitimately

freaked them out yeah they are because they've seen a lot of this shit now as you get get deeper reading about cartels you see that they are there's a lot of san tomorra there's a lot of santeria there's a lot of like weird magical tinges to it and they don't like fucking with it in any way she performed without their own brujaria there with them yeah curandero they then forced little seraphine to unlock the ranch warehouse where cops found 60 pounds of dirtweed and a bunch of guns and before the entire hernandez family knew it they were all in jail but only on drug charges at this point no one was investigating murder but to the cops the hernandez gang was suspiciously calm they were laughing like they thought that at any second al pedrino's magic would somehow

save them and they'd be set free so to get them talking the federales tortured them using a mexican interrogation technique called pression moral or moral pressure using a mixture of soda water and tabasco the cops shook up the bottle and sprayed the concoction up the noses of the hernandez brothers causing searing pain and a sensation of drowning it's spicy waterboarding yeah that is nasty but what really blew the lid on the whole cult operation was the questioning of domingo bustamante the ranch's caretaker this was the man who had fed mark kilroy scrambled eggs just before his murder and after seeing that the hernandez brothers were in custody domingo bustamante started talking see domingo wasn't a part of all this ritual bullshit so he

was happy to spill the beans about everything he finally got released i love a good caretaker they know everything yeah he started with the drug trafficking but what caught his eye was a missing poster hanging on the wall of the police station that featured who else but mark kilroy domingo casually mentioned that he knew the boy that he'd fed him eggs and that domingo knew that he'd been murdered and after that it was all downhill for a dolfo constanzo's cult little seraphine so fucking stupid well i mean honestly thank god it has to end yeah the first to be questioned was little seraphine who sang like a bird about every detail if you see him even if they can't see you they can still hear you all of the uh footage that you'll see if someone's speaking about like

there's a little chubby guy with a mustache that's little seraphine and he stole them everything still believing everything still believing that a dolfo's magic would save him he admitted to the trafficking oh my god the murder of mark kilroy and the murder of over a dozen others and a matter of fact tone that implied he believed no consequences were coming in fact little seraphine's tone in the recorded confessions it's damn near sheepish it's like he's slightly embarrassed to admit that this isn't actually what he believed but hey you know it's what i believe so call me crazy yeah he's very he's like oh i know we're a little corky around here just cut to a dolfo's brain being like i should have told him i should have had a day on allegory this is about symbolism yeah theory and this idea

that like magic needs some practical magic to bring it back to sandra magic magic yeah he really thought he was invisible the needs help we need help here the magic just helps yeah now this of course surprised the hell out of the police uh they'd gone to the ranch three times and they hadn't looked into the shed even once because as far as they were concerned this was strictly a drug case and you know a shed's a shed but you know just are full of sheds also they knew if they opened up the shed there was going to be a bunch of bodies well they were just like we're just going to make it a drug thing i don't even want to be out of the shed that's a lot of paperwork yeah and also but they didn't notice it smelled but they didn't want again i think you're right they want to be

involved they just really like are you scary as shit that stinky shed seems pretty suspicious but weed is bad weed is bad but after his confession little seraphine took the cops to the shed where they found candles and kettles filled with goat heads dead roasters and rotting turtles all amidst coins half-smoked cigars and empty rum bottles the cops looked up at the ceiling and found two wires twisted into loops that were used to suspend victims by their wrists and looked down at the floor to see tools used to drain victims of their blood everything was covered in or splattered with sticky black blood and in the middle of the whole mess was the enganga overflowing with gore maggots and the telltale 28 sticks that marked it as a polo mayonbe ritual

object i tell you the first thing i went to chef's school this sauce is over reduced definitely and just see one wooden panel that just says home sweet home they would literally hang out smoke cigars didn't get hammered in this room huh well no the part of the ritual was cigar cigar smoke was a part of the ritual okay rum was a part of the ritual so they weren't in there playing like you know war they were playing card games they weren't a bunch of dogs playing poker okay okay okay no it was that's ritualistic stuff that's ritualistic stuff i was like damn what you could party anywhere like outside remember all this remember all this stuff comes from cuba so you know cigars are gonna be a big part of it rum's gonna be a big part of it right but instead of

bagging all this up for evidence the cops called a wizard to exercise the building got to cops don't want anything to do with the cartels it's very scary it's very scary and they're very suspicious we better get a wizard on this what are you talking about they gotta get a guy with a scepter in a big hat in there because they don't want to touch any of this magical shit because they don't want it to follow them back home yeah they're very very scared of what's going on inside of that shed they need to have a wizard come in and destroy all the evidence but then that is so spiritually they are scared but then also they do know unless you cover your fucking head that's why the cops tend to be fully covered like they will hunt you down and kill your old family yep well i mean

the cartels i mean but this isn't cartel business like the adult folk in stanza was not involved in the big cartels like the big the big boys this was this was a gang that this was a small drug trafficking operation cartels are that is a whole that's not even that's the thing in this whole story we're not even talk we haven't really talked about drug cartels at all yeah these are not involved the drug cartels this is small time bullshit like what we're in the middle of like this is very much so like this is just one little i feel like that's how they got to survive for so long it's because they did not personally adult folk and sound so right didn't fuck with the big cartels because if they found out i mean in the end i imagine if a big cartel found out that you

were even sectioning off even a part of their money they come and fucking kill you i'd love to see that movie of adult folk in stanza versus the actual cartels and what that would be like so this is a this is a drug trade side quest side quest well this guy this fucking this wizard well i mean okay current cura curandero that's that would be the proper name for him okay came in he knocked over everything in the shed and broke anything breakable all in attempt to defeat the evil you would you call in some places you'd call it evidence yeah he destroyed it yeah he destroyed all yeah but what can i call it an exorcism but honestly that's not wizardry that's just i could do that well then you're gonna you got a mum package it while you're doing it the whole time

you need beads all right well investigators then ordered little seraphine to lead them to the body of mark kilroy which seraphine could easily find like with the hitchhiker we talked about at the end of the last episode the cult had wrapped a metal wire around kilroy's vertebrae so it could be pulled out later so they could make a necklace out of it now such mark kilroy's grave was marked only by a metal clothing wire sticking up out of the ground after his body was exhumed investigators continued digging and eventually found 14 other mutilated sodomized castrated partially decapitated bodies the casualness of like how they pointed out the graves right was kind of crazy because it's little seraphine literally walk around me like we got one here we got one here yeah there's a couple

over there like he says all of this shit and being like you just gave the federalis 14 bodies and you're all still laughing and acting like all this shit's not gonna be anything but then what happens is every single time little seraphine laughs or asks them they were they would do this like fun thing where uh in order to in order for the cops to torture somebody they would just take them behind the shed so that no one would see what you but you'd hear them quack quack and then they come back out and be like little seraphine to stop smiling they do that here there's a reason prisons have blind spots it is not for privacy reasons it's so the guards can beat the living fuck out of inmates that this to me makes it seem like the cult is really in full we're right when

it comes to adult though they're fully mind control because it reminds me of the manson family girls where it's like you guys are in way over your head you guys are going to prison forever and you're laughing like there has to be such a disconnect from a reality here for these people ignorance being taken over by a charismatic leader it's a lot of power because they didn't still they're just like flortin maybe we'll get 15 this didn't realize that this was this is a big fucking evidence it's gonna put all of you away forever wow soon enough the cops began rounding up other cultists and elio the flirt and el mariposa joined little seraphine in jail a video however temporarily evaded capture and was able to warn constanzo sarah martin el dubi and el gato

most of them hold up at a brownsville holiday inn and from there constanzo called his mother and according to sarah told her this in his customary baby voice mommy i have to run the police are after me i am innocent but i have to hide don't believe what you're going to see on television all the terrible things mommy i can't tell you anymore i'm sorry i love you mommy unfortunately what he doesn't realize is the only thing stronger than his mother's love is her belief in television and uh anything that is said on there she will believe i'm my mom is still upset with eggs oh yeah but i will flip flop on the flip flop on the edge we still don't know what to do with the eggs eat them then constanzo immediately switched back to murder cult wizard leader voice and

turned to his fucking followers and said quote vamanos let's go and then he escaped to mexico city now with the discovery of the ranch and the 15 bodies contained therein that included missing american mark kilroy the media went predictably nuts yep they quickly dubbed the cult narcos satanikos yeah although as as we know fucking satan had absolutely nothing to do with it but he was sounds fucking amazing it works i mean they weren't particularly great at drug dealing either no no man they seemed to really there was a lack of foresight yes i mean it was a catchy name for the media and before long they'd muddled the entire message and who else but heraldo had predictably jumped on the bandwagon with another special on satanism which i think by

that point was his third or fourth he was breaking news satan is he not the worst first coming up on heraldo next heraldo great mustache works out a lot he loves his elliptical he likes his selfies he likes showing his bulls he is very very buff but then oprah i watched the oprah special too and again it's like 15 minutes of like really serious talk about mark kilroy and all of this should happen to matamoros and then immediately as it goes straight into dnd as evil right well absolutely now a few of the cult members were getting picked up here and there but elgato was living up to his reputation as the clever one yeah yeah after being arrested he convinced police that he was nothing more than an innocent student and no one has seen elgato

since what the mangalov finale where he's just he's just gone no idea he could see him just like i thought he might have been in the background of cats he may have a gelical cat yeah no one knows where elgato is we'd no one knows if he's alive no one knows anything have we checked the pound yes indeed i mean check the burger shops at least apparently he loves those this is the real story of heathcliff wow meanwhile little seraphine elio the flirt and el meriposa were behind bars having a laugh because they believed that they were all magically protected and at any moment something would happen to save them all but eventually elio cracked after a federale fired three bullets from an ak-47 right next to his head bursting his eardrum and elio gave information on

all of constanzo's homes and apartments across mexico each home was immaculately kept but each one had a room of the dead that had its own less powerful enganga full of rotting blood human organs dead animals and maggots and all this was broadcast on the news after each discovery isn't that weird how we always judge people based on the roost quality though the rest of the house is clean yes one uh one room has a bunch of maggots and a bunch of hearts and brains and the rest of the house if you take a look at it it's fairly nice yeah and i heard he was actually very nice to the ups guys yes yes indeed over constanzo's part he laughed at the ignorance of the public for labeling all of them satanist but he was more than a little concerned that all of his followers

were spilling the beans to whoever was listening and he should fucking talk he's the one that showed he chose the most like you know quote unquote hardcore god to believe in like he believed in katian pembe all of his shit i mean he lived up to it but in the beginning he just sounded like well like a fucking kind of satanist poser sounds to me like a kid who played dnd growing up don't vilify dnd that's all i know being a bard is dumb but he teaches you the importance of song and are you a lizard or are you a man right now it depends if let me see if i fail my role or not to become a lizard this is what's the problem this is the problem i am a man so to protect himself constanzo performed another ritual but tellingly did so without a human sacrifice

that would have most likely drawn attention instead constanzo used rooster blood while all of the remaining cult members just sort of went through the motions with him it didn't have the same flavor it must have been so boring just have a stupid rooster absolutely now at this point sarah al dready said that she finally realized the scope of what was really going on she knew that a few people had been killed sure but she'd never been directly involved in a murder because women weren't allowed in constanzo's rituals i think it's cuz it killed his fucking boner swish swish air quotes swish swish swish air quotes are the air quotes what she you didn't think people were being murdered now you didn't know what was happening in there i have no clue

what's happening in there she doesn't know what's happening in there i'm not saying that screams i'm not saying that she didn't know what was happening in there i'm saying that she wasn't in the room when people were being killed it tracks it tracks with adolfo the rest of adolfo constanzo's beliefs and palo mayonbe which is does not women are not supposed to be allowed in the inner circle because according to palo mayonbe which is uh incorrect they say that uh women are spiritually weak i am obviously totally in favor of equal rights and women should be allowed to go to any places that they want to it reminds me of mix sorely's uh ale house in in manhattan beautiful manhattan mix sorely's was one of the last places to allow women in but you walk in there as a woman

and you realize you should just walk out it's disgusting and if in this case you're walking you're like it's nice that i'm allowed in sometimes this is fucking disgusting sometimes the glass ceiling keeps you from smelling rotten human flesh because then the women walk in they're like oh that's right thank you for we can legally walk in here but you guys are fucking gross as hell man mix sorely's mix sorely's on st patrick's day so much vomit 9 30 in the morning anyone go come on but once the news started going over the details of how many people were murdered by constanzo and how they were murdered sarah sort of freaked out a little bit but according to her recollections constanzo gave her a small speech to calm her down he supposedly said this in a

conversation recreated by edward humes in buried secrets you never knew there were so many did you you think of all of the power all that blood all those souls they're all inside me now yeah you really have just become Dracula i have become many many and these spirits make my brujerias strong they must obey me they will crush our enemy they are our shield with this beauty tape we will escape go to central america where the religion is strong where we can do whatever we wish for some reason i want count chocula i love count chocula but this is i do not drink blood i do not i do not drink wine i drink a coke whoa and so with his followers still firmly in his grip the cult went incognito one at a time they snuck out of the apartment where

they were hiding and got what sounded like enormously stupid haircuts got to throw them off they went with the haircut routine they worked remember with ted bunny when he combed his hair the other way of course oma and martin both became blondes and got page boy cuts essentially giving themselves the same hairstyle as he man they wanted that sara colored her hair dark brown and cut away her perm while constanzo buzzed off his long luscious locks dyed his hair red and started wearing hawaiian shirts i hate this i look like the fat man on a sitcom flawless flawless costume change but even though the cops were closing in salvador vidal aka three face saved the cult one last time at least temporarily he brought the manuse and a shotgun as well as two

boxes of ammunition and shuttled them over to the home of former follower carla now carla remember her she was the model who'd had the change of head ceremony performed years back when adolfo was still kind of fun but now adolfo was telling carla that if she didn't help the cult he'd kill her and her three daughters even so carla asked if what the media was saying was true and adolfo said quote according to her no i only killed four of them for drugs that's a lot that's more than none that's for damn sure and since i am still laughing you are thinking about you are having fun it's just for us yes only for solo for that's a lot that's a lot that's enough you cannot even feel a volts wagon with four well you know it depends but yeah that's a good point and since

carla was terrified of both adolfo and the police just like everybody else in Mexico she decided that a dangerous serial killer was the lesser of two evils the safer option and she let constanzo stay and now as we said earlier the press was having a field day with the story and eventually the whole narrative managed to snare american serial killer henry lee lucas we got to him finally thank god i mean they were able to find the snail trail from artist tools dick dragon on the ground no if you'll remember from our henry lee lucas series oh so long ago about six years ago at this point jesus was that six years ago yep oh my god yeah at least both lucas and his partner autist tool claimed at one point that they'd gone on a murder spree involving hundreds of victims

on behalf of a satanic cabal called the hand of death now if you've never heard that episode the hand of death was a forerunner to modern false conspiracies involving satanic cabals it's pretty much like a proto qanon and when a map drawn by henry lee lucas pinpointing matamoros as a hand of death hotspot surfaced people went nuts i mean matamoros didn't need hand of death matamoros had adolfo consonzo like it was there yeah but because you know hand of death it's complete another horseshit just like all of those other fucking stories nothing came of it mostly because lucas drew his map in 1985 years before constanzo even set foot in matamoros good guess though yeah meanwhile constanzo and his followers had left carlos home and were shuffling from

hotel to hotel on the outskirts of mexico city setting up makeshift altars and performing minor rituals at every place they stayed man i could just see a doffle constanzo just so upset with his red hair and hawaiian shirt just like running around just like just trying like it's like uh during the adams family movie when uh they're kicked out of the house and just go and sit in all frumpy inside of a hotel room just being like oh i'm fucking i need a job i need something to do i had to go to the grocery store today the best the best all this moving around made adolfo extremely difficult to catch so the fbi tired of waiting on the federales decided to flush out adolfo by taking the magic route although they approached it from a much

more academic perspective so this is where we hit the dark chocolate center of last podcast on the left where magic serial killing and all all this should all meet into this one area where they understood if you want to catch a witch you have to catch a witch on a witch's terms and so they are gonna they're gonna suss them out you doing the only thing they know possible which is you go right at the heart of what he finds the most sacred this is 1989 it's like this is shit that should belongs in like 1457 so good well i mean it's important you got to have every the fbi is a pretty big witch unit they've had it for a while oh is that what's happening on tiktok yeah they're just baiting the kids to become baby witches yes indeed well the fbi consulted with an anthropologist

named rafael martinez who immediately recognized that what they were dealing with here was not satanism but pala mayambe luckily martinez had a deep knowledge of the religion and he knew that the disgusting cauldron still in constanzo's ritual shed was the most important object in the world to the serial killer they were all trying to catch honestly this is such a cool day for an anthropologist you can see him just be like wait right here goes to his bookshelf slides massive like shoot you're gonna want blows off the book you're gonna want to read this i can't wait because most of the time people ignore me this is a great day for an anthropologist finally they've come and they need your help oh yeah well this guy this anthropologist he was

he worked at a university right on the border so he was used to being consulted for this shit for it with like pala mayambe when when somebody needed to know about magic they would go to him you know fucking heraldo called him every week oh yeah heraldo shut like leave me alone heraldo i can't tell you be like i can't tell you where they meet again it's the adams family scene where he keeps calling sally jesse rafael we don't know where they meet well furthermore martinez knew that eventually constanzo would kill again to try and appease the spirits and retain some of his protection so he said the only thing to do is to kill the enganga and they did so on camera this is a big deal we're okay so they got the enganga and this is the og enganga from the shed

this is the big one big enganga and was it still full of all the crap i mean i guess it's staying forever right oh my god it's still full of the fucking blood and guts and all the fucking and there's like a big there's like a dead cat in there oh my god all the sticks i can only imagine they have to kill it like the like the evil guy from who framed roger rabbit have to mention that movie where he dips him in the in the glue or what was it called the dip the dip the dip oh and the shoe was so sad so with television crew well the whole point of this is different this is different well the whole point of this is to drive adolfo constanzo crazy the whole point is to show him we have destroyed you we have destroyed your power and then you know once

they do that the belief is going to fall away he's going to act erratically and they're going to find him get him panicked yeah he'll make a move okay so with television crews present martinez and a curandero named elotario douse the shed with gasoline and a five pound sack of salt then they burn the building to the ground but after the shed burned they found that the enganga appeared to be untouched ah so fucking crazy so scary so creepy it's a big it's a big yeah of course fucking yeah but it's scary though it's like the undertaker versus kane there's this is like truly frightening you burn down the whole shed and yeah of you know it's cast iron of course it didn't but that's still that visual of like all shit comes out and then the enganga still stands

and they're all like oh yeah yeah so the curandero walked up to the enganga hit it with a stick and ran away half expecting it to erupt with evil god it's so fucking cool if it did no man but when nothing happened the curandero asked that the cauldron be emptied and they drug it to a field where it was cleansed with fire using wood and gasoline let's say gross thing to empty yeah it is finally the curandero released a white dove because according to belief all was well if the dove lived but if it died upon being released the exorcism was a failure okay i am a dove there is a lot of pressure on me right you got one job job i am i am actually not feeling great today are you i am not feeling great today so do not

trust me to live oh my god this is not here i go flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip no no is he is he dying flip flip flip oh he lived yeah and everyone took it as a sign that the enganga had finally been killed thank god that stupid brainless dove lived yeah because everything would have everything would have been fucked if it died they're very fragile little birds yes now this all happened without a dolfo constanto knowing about it which you know if he was magic he probably should have felt the source of all his power being destroyed well if you made the movie if you made the the you'd hear you'd see him in the hotel room going like burning and shit but when the video made

its rounds to tv stations across mexico two days later it was el dubi who caught the news and you know of course he fucking was watching tv and you know el dubi didn't want to be the one delivering this news you know you see this and you go like oh man everything's going to be fucking we're not getting any what a burger today man if you fucking forget the fries anyway well he cried out and when constanto entered the room and saw what was happening he began screaming smashed everything in sight he then picked up a gun and emptied a clip into the tv and shrieked for an hour until he lost his voice and even after he lost his voice he still tried screaming in this weird horse whisper like the anthropologist one yeah he was correct he is the hero i want to i gotta meet this guy

i tell you what it's just nice to see another liberal arts major do something with their lives do something with their lives we could actually probably get him every time there's a tv show in adolfo constanza this guy is more than happy to talk see adolfo constanza believed or at least he appeared to believe that all of his power had been in that enganga and without the enganga adolfo constanza was defenseless so he started carrying the uzi everywhere and openly started discussing a suicide pact with his remaining followers uh-oh get to that point it's always hard when you're first floating the suicide pack because you don't know what everyone's going to reaction is going to be it's kind of like a massive like these genes look good

do these because you want them you want everyone to be like super into it but you know for a fact that they hesitate you're going to be thinking about that all the time being like he didn't quite fully agree to the suicide pack i feel like i got like it sort of feels like he just kind of kicked the can down the road of the suicide pack right yeah i mean how do you even propose subtly propose a suicide pack like what do you think you're showing me a living right at first thing oh yeah i'd show pictures of nice cemeteries yeah oh this is a nice place huh i actually wrote your head wrote your name on that headstone there you can see how nice that looks there with that font that's very nice look at that and look at the tree and get all the

shade you want to you want to cabrea font is that what you would like instead we can make that cab cabrea for you well he told them that if they were to kill themselves then they would all be reborn and they would find each other again in the next life and then they could try they could do it right the next time you want me to kill myself just to get back to getting alive so if i don't kill myself what if i just stay alive do you want to though but the whole point you're just saying i'm gonna get reborn hypnotize i'll do it i'll do it but after he talked with three face constanza walked back the suicide pact a little oh okay just wanted to talk to his advisors realized that he was asking quite a bit all of his advisors which is four people four faces two people

well three face figured that he could get him to guatemala but just getting in the guatemala was going to be highly difficult because their faces were on the news every single night and every single border crossing had their pictures up but today's face listen what if instead listen okay we dress in as a horse three of us as a six legged horse a six legged horse yeah okay who there would ever impede the six legged horse i'm with you buddy it sounds like it'll work out my life that no one pushes me well here is the plan the cult returned to mexico city they settled into another apartment found by carla and they set out to find a plastic surgeon to change everyone's appearance like a gang of fucking jokers sure oh my god what about just like going in the back of

the truck covering yourself up going across the border this is 1988 peak technology was like like they could sense if you farted or something i have no idea what they even had over the border i think it's not like it is now they just did a mirror adolfo can sanza was very much of the mind from my read of his character is the i don't want to sneak out the back door yeah i like walking out my front door i'm a magician i'm a super powerful person there is no reason why i'm not going to be able to just go and live he doesn't want to hide in a truck he doesn't want to be like scurried into another place he likes to walk free he's a show off the idea of him not being able to walk in public and being recognized as a bruharia i honestly in my mind i think fuck with him quite a bit so he

was looking for a permanent solution where he could somehow go back to his normal life in a way good luck now sarah was the one tasked with finding the plastic surgeon so she snuck to another neighborhood try to find a guy but since her face had been all over the news for weeks the surgeon immediately recognized her and refused to do it and that's about the time sarah decided she was done with this shit oh yeah honestly thank god he refused to do it a black market plastic surgeon in the middle of mexico when you're on the run from the police it's gonna end very badly at some point i feel like you just be like i have these groucho glasses you can wear yeah well after being rejected by the surgeon sarah wandered around asking cops for directions hoping one of them

would recognize her and arrest her but amazingly while the surgeon recognized her none of the cops did or at least none cared oh she eventually returned to the hideout and threw a note out the window that gave the hideouts address and said that a woman was being held hostage and if the police didn't come the cult would kill the girl these girls ain't loyal unbelievable this i know i know this is christ man i know i just think she did it to am i i i have very little sympathy for sarah al dredi i believe that she was wholeheartedly a part of this and then i think it's smart that she bailed she knew that she had to find a way to get out from underneath this in a way which requires you flipping she's pulling just a she's putting a just lane right now where essentially

she's gonna try and get ahead of the bullshit right yeah well i think with sarah al dredi is that she knew that the she knew that there were murders going on but i think for a while there she told herself like well they're just killing drug dealers like they're they're not killing any like because i don't think she was there for the murder of like the 14 year old kid like she wasn't there for every single murder because you know a lot of times she was in brownsville uh but i but when it came to gilbert to sosa like she lured him to home she knew that consanto was gonna kill him like she had to have known that consanto was gonna fucking kill him like when he said i'll take care of it i don't know what the fuck else she thought it was gonna be sarah was made to have sex with

aleo right at some point she would they were forced to well and she did it to bring aleo closer into the group at some we didn't fully cover that because it was one of those weird like side quests but aleo wore a human spine so you mean to tell me she didn't think some wacky bullshit was going on inside of that shed they all openly had human they had human bones some people in their pockets some people wear those blood necklaces though it doesn't mean there's a body that they got it off of that's hanging on their basement el dubi had a tin of a thing that he probably called altoids because it came from a guy named al like he had little chunks of things she knew what was happening okay she wrote a whole book which i have not

gotten a chance to read because it's i can't find an english translation on it if you do if anybody has an english translation pdf or something that i could read of sarah alton right this book i'd love to read it uh carolina read a little bit of it and uh also like watch some of her interviews that she did back in 2008 she walks back absolutely everything oh yeah she moonwalks back she gets in a car and reverses back and i'm gonna put in a car to get back yeah she walks yes walks back absolutely everything and it's the truth is probably somewhere in between now that note that she threw out of the window nobody found that note until much later but sarah's wandering had done some good police were getting tips that she'd been seen in the area so two teams

of plainclothes detectives set up a stakeout near a shopping center in the neighborhood man i want to do a stakeout i want to do a stakeout so bad you just want to eat in a fucking car you don't want to do a stakeout it'd be fun no you look i know it's fun to watch people you want to smoke a joint you want to have your little glasses on but i also like watching my neighbor i just be like god damn it it's easy be the perfect no i that's all you and then you're gonna listen to old rock and roll no you know i like to sit and just i love watching my neighbors and seeing the go to and fro i like to see what they put in their garbage and i like to see where they go to work i just feel like you want it too much and everyone is going to be like have you noticed that little

polish guy who is just hanging out in the corner i'm just watching but unbeknownst to the cops they just happened to park right in front of constanzo's hideout ah adolfo it was totally by accident that's amazing adolfo looked out the window and immediately recognized them as cops because unmarked police cars in mexico have big serial numbers on the side that identify them as police vehicles almost like they're marked yep yeah yeah but once constanzo saw the police cars he yelled this is it and the gunfight began oh no constanzo grabbed a zuzie and fired on the cop car which was fortunately unoccupied while el dubi grabbed the shotgun and followed suit but from you know such a high spot the fucking shotguns don't really do much it just kind of

stings once the cops started firing back though constanzo grabbed a stack of cash and threw it out the window screaming quote this is for you poor animals take it we will take that thank you yeah and as people scrambled for the cash he fired at a propane tank expecting it to explode but since this wasn't a fucking movie he just filled it full of holes oh gosh they're made to not explode whoa i thought they were made to explode that's one of the movies that's the movies get the explode so easily in the movies that's when as the streets filled up with police cars and heavily armed officers and the crowd finally cleared constanzo told martin and omar to burn the rest of the money and omar began to do so but when constanzo called for more bullets el dubi

said there were only two magazines left yeah man and it's cat fancy and rolling bone wow oh and that is when adolfo constanzo decided to die that was a joke about magazines i just got it henry it was it was so bad i actually know what it feels like to be you now rolling bone is like rolling stone but for rock star dogs for rock star dogs so yes cat fancy and rolling bone good job two magazines wow and now i get another boat they're both animal now they're both animal it's because he's a gelical cat i think yeah el dubi i don't know why he came out like that on this is sorry no i loved it was great made sense well declaring that it was time to go through with the suicide pact and promising that they would all be reborn constanzo huddled into a closet

with martin and ordered el dubi to shoot them whoa dude this is like a big fucking responsibility very heavy el dubi very heavy el dubi did as he was told and emptied a full clip into the closet ending the life of one of the most dangerous cult leaders to ever live but after constanzo was dead el dubi didn't really see the point in suicide nah yeah he's like looking at all the money all you're like oh man the suicide sucks yeah i mean it's definitely different it's worse than living looking dead looks stupid that is stupid that's stupid instead he walked over to the window fired the cult's last magazine into the sidewalk and sat down on the floor to wait for the police and soon enough sarah omar and el dubi were all in custody and constanzo's cult was officially

over amazingly though el dubi had the same attitude as the hernandez clan he still believed that constanzo's magic would protect him and he even spoke fondly of constanzo's inevitable return from death he believed it would happen soon i think a lot of you guys fucking say like all this shit about us in our fucking group but i'll tell you what man some people ask what a burger i ask what a fucking guy what a guy indeed but el dubi i do want you okay so let's just say let's just say adolfo does come back you know he's gonna come back as a baby right and then you would have to take care of him oh man that's warmer dude baby's not gonna come back as a grown man he's gonna come back as a baby oh man i don't got milk dude no and then you're

gonna have to wait until he becomes of the age that he committed suicide you're gonna be super old and you're not gonna want to hang out with him anymore oh man i'm gonna become one of those you want to be what's that bulls fucking ride tycoons hell yeah dubies dubies roller coaster well i mean el dubi did think that he was gonna come back as a grown man he thought that he was gonna rise from the dead oh my god and lead them back to and lead them to some sort of magical wonderland but after el dubi was taken to constanzo's body in the autopsy room and el dubi saw adolfo's mutilated headless corpse he gagged and broke down crying and finally accepted that adolfo constanzo would never return but since mexico loves a juicy news story

maybe even more than america does sarah omar and el dubi were regularly trotted out for press conferences in which el dubi bragged about slicing off fingers and toes while omar gave lectures on santaria and palo mayombe sarah on the other hand maintained her innocence and as i said still does to this day she said she was tricked into the cult and even though she knew about some of the murders she was only following a guy that she thought was a great man sure oh i don't see the motivation for her for really getting into for getting into the full like murder plot of it like i think she really enjoyed the magic part and i think she enjoyed that ship i don't see the motivation for getting into full murder i think she was a fucking i to be completely honest i'm the opposite i think that

she was basically just that she was too cowardly to be a serial killer and she got into it she really got into the whole thing and a groupie yes i think that she was way into it and then afterwards she understood the heaviness of what she she didn't under she was wrapped up in it and then afterwards she realized the extent of what she was associated it's like when you're a roadie for when you're a groupie for motley crew and then you look at vince neal now and you're like what was i thinking i sat on that guy's face a bunch it's weird but in the end all the cult members save elgato were put away for life as far as culpability goes it's hard to say with absolute certainty because both little seraphine and sellah al dreddy were both brutally tortured by the police and they

have the scars especially serah al dreddy has the scars to prove it they all were treated very badly by the police and so there are i can also see in the transmission of that right in the process of that of being tortured very seriously by the police you can actually flip your own mind in my estimation that she starts to believe that she's actually innocent because of the crimes that were done to her by the people putting her in jail well either way she she knew about a couple of murders and i always say that's a couple too many yeah i mean when it comes down to brass tacks even if seraphine and sarah didn't murder anyone themselves they still assisted in the kidnappings and they still didn't tell anyone that the murders were happening and when it comes to the men who held

the knives i think it's safe to say that elio hernandez el dubi elgato and of course adult falcon stanzo himself would have become murderers with or without apollo miambe but the introduction of ritual certainly gave these murders an unsettling edge of evil that made this cult one of the most frightening and dangerous group of fanatics of the 20th century well del falcon stanzo what a freaking creepy damn stories the moral of which is be careful on spring break folks be careful on spring break honestly good lord always and be careful who you hang out with and be careful who you choose to follow be careful who you choose to date and you're only as good as your friends so if all of your friends are murderers so are you you're basically one yeah yeah yeah basically

it i'll agree with that yeah so this is about getting new friends honestly it really is though isn't it strangely enough if you ever find yourself having to hide a body you can hide the body because then you can say i wasn't i was being threatened but then you have to like you gotta flip can i go far is to say if it's just one body there's a lot of reasons why we could figure out why it's okay you know i mean if it's just one and we've all learned our lesson oh you're talking about and i know what you did last summer did you watch the end of that movie do you know what happens at the end when the goat comes back no no i just watched the first part where the friends will have a good time bury in the person and it's and it's fun and yeah it's a secret everybody asked but that guilt

is almost punishment enough isn't it it's one of my favorite it's one of my favorite premises it's just like a porn star who gets into it and things are going bad he's like man this isn't anything like the movie buggy knights and they're like did you watch the second half yeah well the first one was everything sweet this is now it ends really poorly uh much like the cult of adulto constanso holy hell well thank you all so much for listening to this series we're super excited uh to have you uh with us here in 2020 and thank you all so much let's do what do we have to do we have to plug our we have our show in Idaho we have a show stop it just stop it we have it honestly next year we cannot wait to see you all my god thank you our patreon absolutely thank you

given to the patreon listen to the other shows on lpn wizard and the bruiser page seven no doctor's space a blink and stop at we got anything that you gotta do for we got something for you peel it we got a kind of fun sports podcast we're gonna talk about what's going on with that football and of course we continue to talk about wrestling because it's the most fun of all sports entertainment and thank you uh honestly thank you guys for sticking with us for all of these years i know it's like weird it kind of comes up every once in a while i feel like this is a very uh a time for reflection there is a lot of change going on and we're going to continue to see it now as more and more things uh we we're going to begin to see what doesn't reopen yes and how businesses have

shifted very very sad and so uh we're going to do our best to i mean obviously last podcast in the left is not going anywhere we're here for the fucking years this is our bullshit we're here up in this good for a long ass time hopefully not going to hold the wood um but uh thank you guys a guest i just want to say thank you and uh next week we have a relax fit episode coming your way but then we're getting into a lot more a little crime a lot of murder a lot maybe another big old cult i'm not certain because to me this is still we haven't quite decided yet we haven't quite decided because this is the only kind of a murder so we want to study murder i have to i don't the whole episode this whole podcast has ruined my i want murder he says out loud no i think it's interesting

but we're gonna we're just very excited to have the opportunity to keep coming to you guys and we just have to all support each other during this period of time as much as humanly possible and i'm going to stay up straight fuck the haters absolutely yes and uh yeah we'll keep you entertained the best we possibly freaking can hail yourselves everyone hail satan hauguin maghustalations hail me sweet sweet baby lord sweet baby lord he hails you every day no every day he only only wants his fucking tit milk he wants your money yep yes yes jesus says want your money this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com