Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 447: The Coyame UFO Crash

Episode Date: March 27, 2021

This week, we explore the strange story of the Coyame flying saucer crash — also known as Mexico's Roswell — which took place in the Mexican state of Chihuahua in 1974. What exactly killed the crew that arrived to inspect the crash? And what role did the US government play in this Mextraterrestrial incident?Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

I'll tell you what, it's not a UFO episode, until I'm finally, at midnight 30, stone out of my mind, listening coast to coast, while a man screams on a broken-up telephone, I invented gel oxygen art. You know we're doing a UFO story today because the first word out of Henry's mouth, the first words of this show are, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, which I know what I saw, and I'll tell you what are the two most cliché sentences in ufology. I know what I saw. Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone, I am Ben hanging out with Marcus and hanging out with Henry. Yeah, I'm fucking here too. I know, I usually start with you, but I started with Marcus today because I know you are ready to burst. I spoke with you, yesterday on the phone, Ed Larson was over, we called Henry because I had a great idea to start sponsoring a battle box. Don't make me say these first words.

And Henry, I could feel the tension in his eyeballs as he was just so happy not to talk about UFOs for one second of the day, because you have been doing a lot of research. I was just in the middle of reading the special operations manual from MJ12, 25 pages deep, trying to understand how to package up a UFO. And you called me in the middle of a stream of thought. So today, I'm so happy to be doing a UFO series, by the way, we haven't done a UFO in way too long. The Koyami UFO Crash, the Koyami UFO Crash is what we're talking about. Sounds good, very good. All right. So the Koyami UFO Crash, also known as Mexico's Roswell, occurred in the Mexican state of Chihuahua on August 25th, 1974.

Little known outside of UFO circles, the Koyami Crash is particularly interesting because the case was first publicized in 1992. And yet, the details mostly match up with both videos of UFOs recently confirmed to be legit by the Navy and with testimonies of pilots who are coming forward to talk about metallic disks harassing airplanes in the sky. I am going to speak up for UAVs, because when you say harassing airplanes, it's not that they are harassing airplanes. I do believe in my mind they are more fascinated and mirroring airplanes. That's what the paparazzi said as they were chasing Princess Diana. We're just fascinated, but they're also stalking. This is the problem.

You're the one getting distracted by the glitz and glamour of royalty when you should be focused on driving your car. This story, though, is one of those one-source stories, too. Which is, we'll get into and we'll find out, well, we'll dig in. But the UFO phenomena, they just love planes. Absolutely. And Marcus, I just have to say, you mentioned how this story was published. Now, there's a big question of like... Actually, I did not say published.

I said publicized. Publicized? Okay, because I was going to be like, published in what magazine? Yeah, because that's a big difference. Flying self-digest, that is real. I actually chose the word publicized very carefully and made sure to not say published. As far as sources go, the vast majority of information about the Koyame Crash came from a document called the Dinev Report, which is supposedly cobbled together using two eyewitnesses, some illegally copied documents, and one partially destroyed document.

It definitely also could have been written by someone like, let's say, our wonderful creator friend Jared Logan. If you take him and you strip him of all love in his life, like you take away his family, like they leave him, you take away his career, he's now like living in a motel six, I could see someone of that intellect just slamming this into a typewriter, filled with rage, trying to cause as much chaos as possible. Well, that's why I keep every conversation with Jared Logan on the surface. Jared Logan and Kara Klink, two fantastic comedians, and follow what they do. They're good friends of ours and great performers.

They're wonderful. Indeed. A UFO researcher and former MOFON Washington D.C. state director, Elaine Douglas, speculated that the report was created by employees within the government's intelligence community, who put together the document through years of gathering scraps of information about the incident. From what they claim, though, the document didn't come without a cost. Although the Dinev Report does not name the original whistleblower, they do say that after the illegal copying was done in 1978, four years after the crash,

the illegal copier subsequently died. Like in office space. Wow. Also, why is it whenever I hear the Dinev Report, I just imagine it's some father writing a report on how his children have webbed feet. It does sound like... It's like, is the Dinev Report? What the hell happened here?

I noticed if I go in the water, I can move incredibly fast. Well, that's because of the webbed feet. Also, I noticed the mailman. Mailman, take off your shoes. Yeah, he has webbed feet. I knew it. He has webbed feet again. This story is also, for me, this is one of those, you got to have faith.

Oh my gosh. You got to have faith. Do not do that to him. RIP. But this is one of those, it's in the world of Majestic 12, which we've not fully covered on last podcast and left because of the dubious nature of the documents involved. But if once you start reading through the Majestic 12 documents, it's really, really fun. And so especially if you've got a bowl of this fucking crazy assitiva I have from

fucking Humboldt. Because what that does is that it allows you to really focus in on what's important here, which is the world building. But yes, the Dinev document might just be as real as the Majestic 12 documents, but let's leave that up to the jury to decide, and I'm not the fucking judge. No, you're not. Indeed, the audience is the jury. Let's give them some juicy tidbits to make their decision.

Well, what's interesting about the Dinev report is that it was released 18 years after the event took place, which by some estimates would be the amount of time a person who was middle-aged and in a position of power in 1974 would take to retire. And he would therefore be more comfortable releasing the material. That's why it took 18 years. Same thing with Dr. Stephen Greer. At some point, these old CIA guys have to start to see these guys as like grim reapers. When the ufologists start showing up at your house, you'd be like,

I guess I am just about to die. Stephen Greer, by the way, I support his idea that the aliens are nice. But before we get into the crash and its consequences, let's acknowledge our source. Today, it's Mexico's Roswell, the Chihuahua UFO crash by Ruben Uriarty and Noe Torres, which snakes in and out of legitimate coverage of the event and some of the wackier corners of ufology, which we will, of course, discuss later. Can I just, I have to do this. I eat Chihuahua because Chihuahua warrior.

Huh? What? What the fuck are you talking about? Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I eat Chihuahua. That's the song. Is it? Like, oh, like, my Chirona?

Is it like, I eat Chihuahua? I have never once sat and watched this movie with you. Beverly Hills, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 1 and 2 are two of the greatest films that have ever been made that's come up for the last nine years. And so please, I just had to get that out. Support those movies and support your local Chihuahua actors. You have to support the Chihuahua actors because if not, they turn, they get mean. They start a gang in Detroit.

Yeah, Wendy is very mad. She is not on auditions and I keep saying it's a pandemic. Now, how much stock you put into the Koyame UFO crash entirely depends on how much stock you put into anonymous sources, but in my view, the fact that this little no 1992 report matches up with so many other legitimate recorded sightings makes this, at the very least, an interesting addition to the UFO canon. We're getting Marcus on UFOs. I think it's the mushrooms.

I love these little micro-dosey Marcus. He's so much more open-minded. I'm fucking open to the world, my friends. Yeah. Well, of course, there are some dramatic, almost cinematic elements to this story that may have been added to juice things up. And therein lies the problem with many older UFO stories. Things that may have happened are added to things that did happen.

Because at the end of the day, most ufologists are just looking for a good story that's going to grab attention and set them apart from the other ufologists. They're firing the sky, so to speak. This is why the greatest era in baseball is the steroid era. I don't care what anybody says. I want my players juiced. I have officially come full circle at all my ufos. Lie a little.

Just lie a little and make it a good story. It's important to lie a little bit because you don't want everything to be boring. This story tracks with a lot of other stories of UFO crashes and retrievals. To me, what is interesting about the story is the idea that in 1974, there is such a well manicured system for a retrieval of UFO crashes that it almost speaks to the fact that they've done it before. So if this is entirely made up, it is made up by somebody who understands how to place a UFO crash into the storyline of Roswell to now to make it track.

But that actually requires someone to be a tremendous nerd. And in 1974, it would actually even be more difficult to do it. But this story to me hangs on the eyewitness accounts of the people that said that they saw it. This is definitely one of those stories that is very important to the town that it happened in. And they all were like, I was there too. I saw the planes crash into each other. I was there. I remember we were having a hot dog fiesta with me and Martine.

We were having a hot dog celebration. Oh, man. I can't wait for things to open up and oh, a hot dog fiesta to begin. Well, you know, concerning a good story, we also bear a bit of the guilt here, because if the Koyame crash was simply a guy saw a thing and it moved and it was weird, we wouldn't be talking about it on the show today. I would. I took him in for hours.

But I also understand we need some acts to a story. I will clarify what Marcus said. It wouldn't be edited out of today's episode. So on August 25th, 1974, two military installations along the Texas Gulf Coast picked up an object on radar 200 miles from Corpus Christi, traveling 2,500 miles per hour towards Texas. Oh, now this was somewhat alarming because the SR 71, the fastest jet still ever made, had a top speed of 2,100 miles per hour.

So whatever this thing was, it was flying faster than the fastest manned craft ever flown in the Earth's skies. Suddenly, though, the object being followed on radar slowed to 1,950 miles per hour, while simultaneously turning and descending. Now the craft was headed directly toward the Texas border town of Brownsville. Now, we're also going to discover this is why this UFO actually got any sort of real attention to begin with, because this is going through one of the most well watched borders in the world between the US Mexico border has a lot of different has a lot of

different eyeballs on it. And there's a lot of people watching this also very specific chunk of the border. Like this is right where all the drugs come in. So you basically have that they are this UFO is helping the cartels. Yeah, it is strange how they they when you say they're watching the drugs, it's funny how they usher them in. Yeah, they do like these. Come on, come on.

No, I think the only other border that if they saw UFO between South Korea and North Korea on the demilitarized zone, I think that would be definitive proof. Yeah, if we could get the Koreans together on the mutual agreement that they both saw UFO, that might lead to harmony. Well, from its original altitude of 75,000 feet, which by the way was 25,000 feet higher than an SR 71 could go, the UFO descended down to 45,000 feet. And it traveled as a blazing fireball lighting up the skies towards the Mexican state of Chihuahua.

Jesus, sweet. Yeah. Now, from what radar indicated, the craft was seemingly headed towards a mysterious region in Mexico known for UFO activity called la zona del salincio or the zone of silence. That's where my mom kept trying to put me. Yeah. Measuring only 31 miles across, the zone of silence is so named because high levels of magnesium in the soil disrupt radios, telephones and aircraft instruments,

rendering this area of the desert an effective dead zone. And they people put because it's such a weird place put people. There's a lot of stories there of like, you know, all sorts of paranormal activity. Right. Well, because of the radio silence, la zona del salincio is known by many as the Bermuda Triangle of Mexico. In fact, the zone of silence is just like the Bermuda Triangle, located between the Tropic of Cancer and the 30th Parallel.

Check your fucking globe, you fucking morons. You just made your eyes bleed staring at a globe yesterday. Don't yell at me for not doing that. Become the student if you want to feel the burden of the master. But besides just the radio interference, the zone of silence has also been known for generations as a hotspot for strange lights in the sky and overabundance of meteor showers and encounters with strange beings on the ground. It just kind of sounds more like the basin in Utah where all of the skin walker ranch

activity happens. It's kind of that same feeling where it's a it has a propensity for flaps just like me. I would call it a milieu of mystery. Did you learn that from that from last week's episode? What milieu? The word milieu. No, you said that a couple of probably about 15 years ago you said it. I said it last week too.

Yeah, I pick up a lot of what you say because again, that is called having an intermediary. Well, people have seen fireballs in the sky like the craft we're talking about today for years in the zone of silence. And people have even seen flames rolling down the sides of mountains like as writer T. E. Wilson put it in an Atlas Obscura article, massive ignited tumbleweeds. Maybe it's just people literally burning their weed crops. Be the desert man. Bad place to grow weed.

Is it? It's a desert. Yeah, you get a little tent out there. You get your hydroponics going on, bro. You get your fucking flow. It'd be expensive. You get some heat lamps done. Either way, the zone of silence.

That's the actual sex game that Mike Pence plays with his wife, Karen. They play it on Thursday. I thought he got his fucking ass. He is over. He's over. It's actually very interesting the way they do it. You mentioned hot dogs. They actually put a condom on his flaccid penis.

And then he looks at a series of pictures of children. And then, believe it or not, he fills the condom up and they call it sausage. Yes, Mike Pence, potential pedophile. It does sort of seem, to me, if I was to call that a game in our house, we call that tadpolling. Oh, interesting, interesting. Well, perhaps the oddest regular encounter that occurs in the zone of silence comes from Chihuahua's top UFO investigator, who is unfortunately named Geraldo Rivera. It's got my name there.

Geraldo told Atlas Obscura that when people get lost in the zone, they are sometimes approached by tall, blonde beings who appear out of nowhere. These beings who share all the same traits as the Nordic aliens we've spoken about in earlier episodes. Never be scared of the short, short man. He's always gone, Danny, how's the plan? I don't think so. These beings simply appear and ask for water in perfect Spanish instead of offering. Then, they disappear. When you said approach by tall whites, I'm just like,

are they there to give them a Spotify deal? That might be cool. Thank you, wonderful Swedish people. And when these people ask where these Nordic aliens come from, they only point up and say Masaya. What does that mean? Above. Yeah, man, up beyond.

Yeah, we up out of here, man. Either above or beyond elsewhere. And then they point up and it's just been like, high-rise condos in the middle of the desert. Oh, no, white people have come. They've ruined everything. But as far as concrete evidence of weird shit happening in the zone of silence goes, in 1970, a five-story, seven-ton intercontinental ballistic missile launched by the United States flew hundreds of miles off course

and slammed right in the middle of this relatively small area. This should act. This happened. That is wild. Can you imagine just being like, you're just out there. You're like, probably living in one of like the smaller border towns and then you just see an ICBM. Just like fucking just sticking up out of the desert.

Like it's a Mel Brooks movie. Yeah, like Joe Dirt. Oh my god, that is whole. I just don't like when the military loses missiles. Yeah, man. You want to put one of those. I give, we gave you one of those little finder keys for Jerry. Yes.

The little iPhone key things that you could find with Bluetooth. They should have those on them. You're going to want to get some trackers on those missiles. The whole thing was such a to-do that the Nazi who sent the United States to the moon, Werner von Braun, actually came out himself to investigate the crash and personally oversaw the removal of the wreckage. Oh my god. So you're telling me they looked at this crash site.

They put their spectacles up to their noses and like, we need a Nazi for this. Like, this crash is so bad. We're going to need to get a Nazi for this. We need our Nazi for this. First is Ron was our Nazi. He was the guy who fucking sent us to the moon. We paid good money for that Nazi.

Yeah, from V2 rockets to the fucking Apollo 11, whichever one was. You know, from a Nazi all the way to Jackie Gleason, what's more fun than going to the moon? That's a honeymooners joke. It is. But concerning the Kalyame crash, once the craft passed over the zone of silence, it's suddenly and mysteriously vanished from all radar screens. Now, about 30 minutes before the craft passed through the zone,

a small civilian aircraft took off from El Paso and crossed into the Chihuahua Desert. But an hour after it took off, the airplane also disappeared from radar screens, not too far away from the town of Kalyame, which in turn is not too far away from Marfa, home to the mysterious Marfa lights. There was a lot of wiggity sky activity in this part of the world. And so somebody who wants to get in a private plane,

because in my mind, he's got a small plane. He just, you know, he broke up with Deborah right before he left, because he says, I'm going to America. I got big business deals in America. But then when he got to America, he realized what's the point of having all this success if I don't have anybody to share it with. And he's sitting in this airport and he's eating a burger

and he's looking at his own plane. He's just like, I got to go back to Mexico. So he goes, he gets in his plane. Now he's trying to go. He's trying to bring her back. Well, he better get Deborah back after all she's done for him. I mean, obviously, because she helped build him up. Yeah.

And I mean, he's going to launch off into the stratosphere with his new wine koozies, wine glass koozies, when he's trying to bring to America. He's trying to bring his family back together. If that man was the one who invented the single serving of wine that is sold at every single liquor store, he's probably very wealthy. You might be.

Now we don't know for sure, but authors Reuben Uriarty and Noe Torres believe that the small aircraft and the fast moving UFO crashed into each other, partially due to the mountains both were flying through low visibility. This comes from eyewitness testimony. This is where people saw a crash happened in the sky where it was like a big explosion and one just got, it just got ripped apart.

Like the private plane just got torn to pieces. All right. So we have a true UFO in the unidentified sense. But then we have an, do they call them IFOs? Identified flight objects? Yeah, they call them planes. They just call them planes. Okay.

So I don't remember a UFO crashing into a tangible plane. Well, that's why it's definitely, it's different than the modern visitations of whatever the UAVs are, UAPs. It's different because what we're seeing is, seems to be these things, whatever the phenomena is, they are attracted to our planes. They seem to show up and they like to be like,

look, we fly like you. We are like you. We are people too. And they dance around the planes. They're very distracting. Sure. Which might be maybe more similar to what happened with the thing came in, came up next to the sky.

Meanwhile, he's just been like, oh my God, is that Rick driving a UFO? I knew I should have left Emperor alone. And then because he gets all fucking absolutely distracted by and then crashes his own plane. Who knows? You mentioned how they're attracted to planes. And this is why I've always said,

we've got to stop putting these huge fake boobs on planes. Just get rid of it. I don't understand what we're even thinking. You don't like flying Pamela Anderson air? I just, I'm sick. I brought her back. Do you want to continue having UFOs attack and try to penetrate all of our planes?

Well, what's interesting about this is that the UFOs seem to only be attracted to single pilot airplanes. They never show up to commercial flights. If there were really UFOs attracted to airplanes all the time, then everyone who took a commercial flight will have seen, we would have seen 10 UFOs by now. Just by looking out the fucking window.

American Airlines pilot just has a first ever documented site. The FBI is organizing right now. We covered it on side stories. This is absolutely true. They saw you, they saw a cigar shaped UFO. I'm here to correct before the audience comes. But yeah, no, it is now what we're seeing is it's actually so pervasive.

So many pilots have seen this activity and it was such a embarrassing thing to come forward and talk about that everybody just stopped talking about it for many, many years. But it was common, especially because the US Navy talks about it, is that they actually are, they love big groups of planes.

It seems to be they all show up and they dance and they do their presentation for entire aircraft carriers. It's really interesting. But now we, the US Navy has put together a whole system where they are creating a more, basically more legitimate pathway for pilots to come forward and say, I saw a weird shit when I fly.

Well, that was the problem is that after a project blue book kind of went, you know, after, you know, the whole thing was just kind of put a kibosh on. There were, for like decades, there was no channel for a pilot to report a UAV. They called you moron. Yeah, there was no way. And they actually didn't say the word moron.

They didn't say the word moron. They said other words. They said mean words. Also Marcus, I got to give you some credit. Great fart noise. Really nailed it. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

For someone who doesn't like farts. Exactly. What are you talking about? I love farts. Fart man. No, you were a fart boy. They all farted on you. Yeah, yeah, they tortured you with farts.

Yeah, but that's still, you know, that doesn't lessen how much I love farts. I can technically, Batman was afraid of bats. But concerning the eyewitnesses, what's cool about that is that there is actually evidence to support that. Very recently, UFO investigators traveled to the area where the crash supposedly occurred

and they did in fact find the remains of a destroyed civilian aircraft in the desert. Awesome. But while we don't know exactly what happened, it can be reasonably assumed that the civilian aircraft was shredded by the UFO, killing the pilot, and the UFO allegedly crashed into the ground,

unable to relaunch. But while the Mexicans were discussing all of this activity over unsecured channels while planning recovery operations, the Americans were sitting across the border monitoring every radio communication and making plans of their own. See, the Mexican agencies have postponed

rescue and recovery operations until the next morning because all this happened in very rocky terrain. And while they waited, the American agencies began gathering assets at Fort Bliss in El Paso. But even so, when daylight came, the Mexican authorities were there first. They began scanning the ground from the air

and by 10.30 a.m. they found both the wreckage of the civilian aircraft and a second silvery craft damaged, but still in one piece. Yeah, this is one of those like, with that huge truck you have, like if you ever do have an accident with a Prius, where it's just like the fucking, the pilot,

the plane has been turned into sprinkles. Like it is just destroyed and ripped up. But then like the UFO is sitting fine with just a dent in it right next to it. Wow. But once a recovery team member announced over the radio that a circular silver metallic object had been found completely intact,

a voice was heard to say that radio silence was thereafter in effect. According to authors Uriarty and Torres, it's entirely possible that CIA director William Colby had by this point called President Gerald Ford to apprise him of the situation south of the border. Definitely. And it's always so difficult to call President Ford. You can never hear him over the screams

of him falling downstairs. I can't believe it. And it's always just like, oh my God, he's always stubbing his foot. The joke, I can't believe the audience has absolutely no clue. Everyone knows Gerald Ford, he was actually very athletic,

but he fell down the stairs of the plane and then everyone made fun of him. Trevor Chase made fun of him. What are you talking about? Nobody knows that. In 1975. That's a funny joke today too, because Biden just fell upstairs. Exactly, that's what we're educating.

We're educating the audience on the fact that President's falling downstairs is a long American tradition. And we love to watch it and everybody makes a big deal out of it. Absolutely. So you guys have just proven me correct. But Trevor Chase didn't even do a Gerald Ford impression,

he just fell down. That was his impression, Henry. It was abstract. I can't believe that you're actually doing what you did during your SNL audition on this show right now. I really do wonder why Lord was like, can you just get rid of him as you scream? And here's another thing.

Gumby can't talk. All right, can you just, can you get this actor out of here please? Well, a little known fact is that in 1966, back when Gerald Ford was house minority leader, he proposed that Congress should thoroughly investigate the rash of reported sightings of unidentified flying objects

in southern Michigan for its home turf. This call to investigate was in direct response to the infamous swamp gas explanation for UFO sightings made by legendary ufologist J. Allen Heineck, which was, as we all know, a comment that Heineck later regretted. Nevertheless, Ford described Heineck's remarks as flippant. And based off his own concerns

and the concerns of his constituents, he demanded a more robust investigation. I want more flashlights. Flashlights, we need flashlights on this situation. Now you're doing an impression of Gerald Ford? I need my microscope. And you and your embassy didn't criticize me? My name is Gerald Ford, I'm crazy.

It's not even a good impression of Gerald Ford. I got big old head, I got big old heads. You know what, towards the end, you know that. Ben, what did you try to do? You tried to, you tried, try afford impersonation. I did not have sex with that, with that woman. Perfect. I'm so sorry, that was actually my Richard Nixon.

What's strange though, is that as soon as Ford became president in 1974, less than a month before the Kiyame crash, his enthusiasm for UFOs suddenly vanished. Oh, puppet masters think they are the ones at the top of the rope, but it turns out sometimes the puppet masters are puppets themselves. Absolutely.

Uriarty and Torres speculate that the evidence gathered from the Kiyame crash changed Ford's viewpoint from total transparency to believing the Americans just couldn't handle the truth, because as we're going to find out, disturbing things did allegedly occur. Or, you know, in the fabled fantasy world, if Majestic 12 was real, then like,

Van over Bush as a robot showed up to his office and was just like, listen, Gerald, love that you fall down, we all laugh at it. But listen, Jerry Chase is nailing you every week. You gotta believe we all love it down in the office. But listen, we do the UFO investigations around here, because we are the only ones who can handle it. And I should know, because I'm a robot clone.

And then Gerald Ford's like, oh, that wouldn't be prudent. Absolutely nailed it again. Regardless of Ford's opinion on the matter, it was reported that the CIA immediately began forming a recovery team of their own upon hearing that a silver craft of unknown origin had been found across the border. Now, the speed in which this team was assembled,

including the equipment they had on hand, suggests that either government agencies have been rehearsing this exercise in anticipation of such an event, or that they'd done this sort of thing before. Three words for you fucking rubes. Project Moon Dust. What the, I tried looking up shit

about Project Moon Dust last night. I didn't find much of anything. Did you not read the three-page article in Bibliotech Leopold 80s? Have we lost the plot here? Henry, again, can you stop doing your SNL audition on the show? We know.

Project Moon Dust is a program. There is some tracking to Project Moon Dust, which is this idea that there is, there was a group that their jobs were to go, and pick up fallen space objects. So part of what they were supposed to do was, yeah, they were supposed to go wrangle when we had things that,

when satellites would fall from space, or like chunks of the shuttle, because now this is after the moon landing, when things would fall, they would send guys to go get it, right? But then one of the ideas were, what if we also do, if there's like an intergame, where we go chase when the Soviets are doing it,

or when the Chinese are doing it, we go and try to steal and get their fallen shit from the sky first, so we could possibly steal technology from them, but maybe that's not the only things that they were finding. Oh, because what you just said was kind of plausible, but now you're going to start talking one more time.

Gotcha! Oh, good. That's the seed of truth that you planted. But Project Moon Dust might have been one of those things that was, it was active at the time, and so they did have a contingency for when things fell from the sky, like, and they made it quote-unquote legit,

maybe they did purposely put it on the books, so it was a thing that they can do outwardly, but then, you know, but they had secret things. Ah, fuck yeah, dude. You know the only difference between me and you? I made this look good. We've been doing it. Project Moon Dust, though, I think was less attractive.

Okay. We'll move on. Washington D.C. State Director Elaine Douglas told Uriarty and Torres that she actually spoke to one of the people that were involved in this particular unit. Okay. She said that years before the Dineb report was released, a former military man contacted her with information

that implied that the United States government absolutely had UFO recovery teams. Oh. This man said that while he was in the military, he was with the unit whose sole function was to infiltrate foreign countries, perform a task, and get out quickly without the foreign government knowing that they'd been there.

You know how I do that? How? I am one of those guys who paints himself like a statue and hangs out in front of them all. Nobody cares about me. Mommy, mommy, why does all that statue have hair? How does a statue have hair, mom? Just try to believe in something, child.

No, if UFOs, whatever they are, if they have indeed been crashing into the earth for decades, then it makes all the sense in the world that we'd have recovery teams to get there first, because you better be goddamn sure that the Ruskies had something similar, what with all the potential alien technology up for grabs. But it actually makes sense with knowing

that there is a legit arm to this, right? Yeah. That they do need to go try to steal other space projects from other countries, so why wouldn't they if something like this shows up? And there's a lot of speak these days about more and more people talking about how the US government has got something

under a tarp somewhere. That is the big buzz in the UFO community. You say, I mean, it's been this way since fucking 1948, but it is the they are now really saying that someone is going to say, listen, someone is going to say that they have something they don't know what it is in a hangar somewhere. And I'm fairly certain to Henry's point,

and I know Marcus, you know this as well, the movie Black Hawk Down, that entire scenario that led to multiple deaths, their entire mission was just to explode the helicopter that had crashed in order to make sure that the enemy did not get the information on said helicopter. So that is extremely serious.

Those are big time missions. Yeah, man. But concerning the Elaine Douglas source, this guy claimed to have been a part of a unit stationed in the United States, meaning their job was to infiltrate Mexico and Canada. And this man further claimed that there were several such teams

in readiness at all times. And you can tell I'm serious because of my collection of ponchos and this moose costume. Honestly, we have like a mind melt because I was like, can you imagine the racial stereotypes they both dressed as? Like they're one going undercover in Mexico

and the one going to Canada. The oddest thing he told her though was that the team had a standing order to never return with any bodies, human or extraterrestrial. In Douglas's view, this implied that the government already had a whole pile of alien bodies.

And that the recovery of bodies as opposed to say technology was no longer a priority. I unfortunately say that's where that is horseshit because even within their own world, if you even take the time to read this special operations manual, you will see the whole point to secure bodies as soon as humanly possible.

They want the bodies. EBEs are not only supposed to be met and contained, they're also supposed to be, you're not supposed to fuck with air, breathing apparatuses if they need them, you're not supposed to fuck with anything, you're actually supposed to put them in a comfortable environment

where they're supposed to be and you're supposed to bring them food and drink. Like you are a personal assistant at CAA. All right, so unlike every, most people are not level eight nerds. What's an EBE? EBE.

EBE, what's an EBE? Exitrestrial Biological Entity. How did you ever fucking think that anyone would know that? You've done the reading. Henry, I have a question for you. When exactly was this manual written? 1996, I mean, no, no, no.

It was written in 1954 and it was only just discovered in 1996. And there's no way anybody could make this up. I'm looking at this document right now. Interesting, no, but to my point is that you say that this was written in 1954. Well, the Koyame crash happened in 1974,

meaning that they had 20 years of alien bodies, meaning that, yes, indeed, it could have been a standing order to no longer recover alien bodies. You, sir, are 20 years too late. I am going to fight you on this fake thing for the next several days. When American agencies first became aware

of the Koyame crash, they contacted the Mexican government saying, hey, we heard there was some weird shit going down and we'd love to assist because the crashed civilian craft had originated from El Paso. But the Mexican agencies professed ignorance about the second craft

and said they didn't need any help because nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Oh, I could see the hesitancy because it comes down to it. UFO lands in Mexico. You're the Mexican agencies. Right now, the USA have, you know, we just offer our help.

We have so many peace missions that we run. Yeah, and so you have this thing. You know that USA has maybe done, like, we like our UFOs to be ours. You know what I mean? We want to go get them. And so they know maybe something's happening over there. So first of all, the Mexican government,

maybe a little bit like, I don't want to necessarily tell them immediately because then they send their little healthy helpertons over here to come get it. Or they maybe want to set up a sale because that's one of those other weird stories. Sure. Weird side things that people talk about

when it comes to foreign UFO crashes because the USA might have, have it be known amongst covert circles that we do take these things very seriously, which we now are discovering, especially with things like ATIP and all of those revelations coming out, that we have taken this shit very seriously in the past

and continue to do so, that they also know we'd pay good money to take that off your hands. I don't know if I want my government spending our hard-earned tax dollars on their version of like NECA action figures, which I assume is just collecting airlines, different UFOs. But you know what? Now that I think about it, even if you're going to spend money,

spend it on finding a bunch of fun knick-nacks from space. Robert Bigelow. Why not? Yeah, man. I mean, I would so much rather my fucking tax dollars go to buying UFOs that we can all look at and enjoy and send fucking drones. I just want to know if there is anyone in the CIA

that looks exactly like Ignatius from Confederacy of Dances. If so, we know for a fact they're buying UFO shit. Oh, well, definitely. They have a couple of arts parts somewhere in there. They have to. Well, meanwhile, a convoy of Mexican military vehicles carrying 24 soldiers on flatbed trucks and jeeps had arrived at the crash site,

and they'd already begun gathering the wreckage of the civilian craft. At the same time, they also approached the silver disc. By accounts, it was shiny and metal, equally convex on both the upper and lower surfaces, and it had no apparent doors, windows, lights, means of propulsion or markings. The best description was that it was 16 feet,

five inches in diameter, less than five feet thick, and 1,500 pounds in weight, which, unless the pilots were tiny, tiny boys, suggests that this craft was some sort of drone. You don't call them tiny boys. They are thousands of years old, and they are tiny. Well, now, technically, and this is actually, I think I'm about to make a point.

Aliens would be taller because they don't have gravity. So why would they be tiny aliens? It depends. That all depends on how long those aliens have spent in orbit, in zero gravity situations. If they would have been raised in zero gravity situations and would have spent their entire lives in zero gravity situations, then, yes, you would be correct. They would be much taller.

But if they would have grown up on, say, Zeta reticuli, and then gotten on a spaceship and flown over to Earth, then they would be whatever the normal size of Zeta reticulins would be. If they had Earth-level gravity, they would be the same size as us. If they had Earth-level gravity, they would be the same size as us.

But also, are they even foreign? Because if you talk to certain grays, now we're in nuts and bolts UFO world, right? If they are actual biological things from another hard rock planet, then I'm talking about where Sly Sloan wants to be. Whoa. That's fun.

But if they... I'm stupid. But what if the grays were, in fact, also time-traveling human beings? Or they are human beings from our far future? Or they were just like us many, many moons ago? And now they are like that. They are these weird little gray things. I wish I had a time machine to go back 45 seconds

and never say what I said to screwing that conversation. I'm the one who invented it. All right, very interesting. And improving and building on Henry's point is that if the whole climate situation goes the same way that it's been going, if we don't fix anything, then we are eventually gonna have to live underground

for a period of time. And if we become underground mole people, for say two, three, four hundred years while all the shit up in the air gets worked out, then we would be smaller. We would be much tinier. Yes. So here we are.

I'm gonna hate it. With the only distinguishing features on the UFO, were two areas of damage on the outer rim of the saucer. One was an irregular hole about 12 inches in diameter with the material around the hole being caved inward. As if it was punctured by something, perhaps the landing gear of a single engine airplane. The other point of damage was a two foot wide dent

in the shiny metal surface, which obviously came from the craft plowing straight through the aircraft while traveling at least 1200 miles per hour. Just fucking blowing up the dude. And guess what? No one's asked a question about the people that were in that plane and how they were exploded.

They just kind of went into a unknown past. And no one's asked any sort of questions about them because that man got turned into confetti. And they just rolled on. And Deborah is still sitting there, knowing that she's like, I guess you didn't know. Because also number one, she never saw the wine because he come out.

No. So she figured out, well, maybe he just lost all his money gambling because he always had that problem. He was always running off. Right. And you know, like in that plane of his, he thought he was so free. He could go anywhere he wanted on that plane.

He's like a bird. Yeah. Yeah. So she just got to sit there in Mexico. I mean, hopefully you'll live in her life, hopefully find in love. The tragedy here, though, was that the men examining the aircraft

and the men who loaded it on the back of the flatbed were wearing no protective gear, no suits, no masks, and no gloves. And it soon became clear that this was an extraordinarily bad idea. Hey, Paco. Hey, Paco, you want a lick of UFO? Yeah, man.

Yeah, I do. Mmm. I know. It sounds like the Cabo Wabo army with, like, Sargeant. It's not just in uniforms. They were wearing cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirts. And they were there. Technically, they were looking for a good time.

And all they found was nothing but trouble. Nothing but fucking trouble. You can just see Sammy Hagar screaming commands. Sargeant Hagar on the screen. But at the same time that the Mexican team was loading up the UFO, three Huey helicopters and a giant helicopter known as a sea stallion were preparing

to take off from Fort Bliss. Now, at this point, the various government agencies involved, namely the CIA, the army, and most likely the Air Force, had to make a decision as to whether they would leave the craft with Mexican authorities or simply take it from them.

Okay, how about this? Let's play a game of war. Whoever wins will decide. And you're like, okay, here we go. We go, I win. What do you think we should do? I mean, we all know we're going to go blow it up, right? There's a waste of an afternoon.

But as this decision was being debated, forces outside of their control made the decision for them. See, recon satellite photos revealed that the convoy carrying the UFO had stopped in the middle of the desert and had not moved for several hours. When the photos were given a closer look, it was discovered that several of the vehicle doors were open

and two human bodies were laying on the ground outside. Do they do a thing called desert angels? Are they making desert sand angels? That could be. So the Americans decided to deploy their teams, recover the artifacts, and neutralize any possible threats. Oh my God, they're like Marvin the Martian.

I think that that was always the plan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the Hueys and the Sea Stallion crossed the border and when the team they carried arrived dressed head to toe in protective gear, they discovered that the entire convoy of 24 Mexican soldiers was stone dead.

This is my God. And that's 100% true? No. It's not going to be that. It's not going to be that. I can't. All right, never mind. I'm not going to get where it is.

Why are you even friends with you guys? You lied to me all day. I'm not even going to ask. You are doubting the Dinev report. No, I didn't get that. I'm not lying to you. I'm just saying that I can't tell you that it's 100% true. Can I get a 51% simple majority?

Oh my God, it's not even passing the Senate. I can give you a 40% because there is a little bit of evidence for this, just a little bit, which I'll get to later. They did try to put their names of the dead soldiers on Wikipedia, but then they pulled it off. I see. Because there was practically no proof.

Oh. Now, as to the cause of death, we naturally have no idea, but we can speculate. It could be that some sort of chemical was released from the disk as a result of the damage and the convoy was exposed to it during recovery and transport like some kind of supercharged version of a carbon monoxide leak.

Or it could be that some sort of microbial agent was released through the hole like a kind of reverse war of the worlds. Which is why you're supposed to show up in full safety gear. Like that's when they say, if the first thing it says is a special operation, you're supposed to show up with hazmat suits on because you're always going to come out of a downcraft.

I agree, Henry. But no matter what killed them, it killed them quickly. Because while two soldiers had managed to get out of the vehicles, the rest had only managed to open doors before they slumped over and died. Like it wasn't any sort of, like that's why I kind of compare it to a carbon monoxide leak

because it really wasn't any like, they weren't choking and bleeding. They just sort of died. We didn't look at them. You don't actually don't know because their whole intestines could have been turned into a fucking shit. You know what I mean?

Like what Ebola does, like their whole insides could literally be filled with liquid shit. But if you do that, liquid shit starts coming out of all your orifices. Unless it only starts in your downstairs parts and it doesn't actually get all the way up to your upstairs parts.

What if they're mildly sanitary people not full of their own excrement? I mean, I'm talking about your intestines that are really turned into poop. Well, it's... All right. This is a fake disease. I don't know.

I'm listening. Better remember, Elaine Douglas, Mufon Washington DC State Director, said that years before hearing about the Koyame crash, her military source said that his unit had standing orders to never return with a body. And that's exactly the directive

that this team followed with the Mexican convoy. The bodies were left where they were and the convoy itself was allegedly destroyed using an MK54SADM, which is the so-called suitcase nuke developed by the United States during the Cold War. This is where I'm going to put... I'm going to say it does sound a little like over the top

because it feels like to... It feels like if we did nuke Mexico, we'd know. I also like... We actually have nuke Mexico a fair amount of times in the past by accident. By accident, yeah. That's not good. Yeah, because we did so many tests

kind of near the border that, yeah, a couple of them went over the border and then exploded over there. But thankfully, no one that was publicized got hurt. Good, good. It's just, if you have to be a nuclear weapon, it's just so shitty to be the suitcase nuke going to work every day,

8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Just like constantly just like buttoned up and working sick at this office nuke. I hate this... I want to be like an ICBM nuke, man, up in the sky. Well, I mean, it was more accurately a backpack nuke. But it was never proved that we actually were able to put... Like the suitcase nuke was more like a Cold War spy novel concept.

It was more like a nuke that a one man could carry in a backpack to blow up something smaller, like 70 kilotons, I think, or something like that. Yeah, yeah, like a Nickelback concert. Or a... I'm just trying to give you another fun look at it. A tennis competition. We're getting back to normal.

I don't even want jokes about that right now. Also, I think I can speak for all three of us spy craft. Very good show if you want to learn a little bit more about the CIA or the KGB. There's a lot of different stories talked about. It's like a fun version of like, oh, Russians are evil, but Americans are perfect. We've never seen any of what the Russians do.

I think it puts a mirror up to what we've done a little bit. Yeah, I think it's fascinating. It's fascinating. Yeah, it is fascinating. And I think it's five kilotons, not 70. 70 is pretty big. Okay. To support this nuclear claim,

the same UFO investigators who found the aircraft wreckage also found a man-made hole nearby that they dubbed the Mystery Pit. Oh. Oh my God. And wouldn't you believe it? Green Day is performing this Saturday at the Mystery Pit. Technically, that's what Joseph Callinger did.

Oh my God, that's very true. Well, the Mystery Pit was surrounded by rusted metal parts of various sizes that could have come from destroyed vehicles. Oh, that's like one of those recycled playgrounds. Interesting. Furthermore, they also found remnants of lighting fixtures that could have come from the sort

of portable outdoor lighting rigs used in military operations. And the bottom of the Mystery Pit had levels of radioactivity eight times higher than normal. But was there not what I had read was that this area is also rich in uranium? The mountains are rich in uranium. Yes.

So there is stores of natural uranium, which is also a hot spot, great hot spots for UFOs. There was like one story that I was reading about. If you look, it was on fucking release from the CIA papers that big UFO document upload that they did which shows just how transparent they are. That was the Belgian Congo uranium mines actually had several UFOs.

They had a lot of UFO activity. And uranium and UFOs are weirdly tied together. All right, question then. Are they here to mine our natural resources? It might just be they literally glow and they have a presence. They degrade, right? Yeah.

The uranium shoots off energy so they could just be attracted to it. Okay. Yeah. And there's also, you know, the theory that all of these crafts started appearing around the time that we got access, around the time that we started splitting the atom.

We started jumping up to the next level in the chain, dude. Yeah. It started ringing a doorbell for the fucking Intergalactic Council. We'll fucking get into this. We have an episode planned where we're going to get into the Intergalactic Council and we're going to meet members of the Intergalactic Council

because I guess you know where half of it, you know where they meet? North Hollywood. No kidding. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Now, according to UFO crash expert B.J. Booth,

who died in 2019 at the tender age of 71, the SADM would have made perfect sense for this type of operation because they needed to eliminate both the contagion if there was a contagion and all evidence of recovery. Eliminate the contagion or contain and use the contagion,

which I'm going to get into a little bit later in the episode. If all of this holds up to be true though, 24 people are mysteriously dead. Yes. You do have something you have to address. Of course. Well, I don't know. They're all military men,

so you can just say they all died during an exercise, like an accident, something like that. That happens all the time. Yeah, like when my uncle died doing jumping jacks. Yeah, or that one director who was really good. I think the director of blow, Ted Demme. He died from blood basketball. Never move.

Stop moving. But then again, that's also how you die. What are we going to do here? It's Jonathan Demme. No, because... John Demme? No, I think it's Jonathan Demme, yeah. Yeah, he also did...

Didn't he also do the stop making sense, talking heads? You might be right. All I know is he died while playing basketball because he was overweight. No, because exposure to this UFO had ostensibly killed 24 men within a relatively short period of time, it was not immediately taken to an air force base after the sea stallion carried it to American soil,

as is alleged normal procedure. Instead, the UFO was taken to a classified location near Atlanta, Georgia by truck convoy, using back roads and smaller highways to ensure that the possibly contaminated craft didn't drive through any cities or highly populated areas. Well, and not to be confused with Jeff the Talking Mongo is honk honk. This would be a honk honk because it's a convoy.

I know every single time he says convoy, I just want to go convoy. I mean, my father was a truck driver, and I got to tell you, when you do the fist pump to the trucker, they love it and they'll give you a honk honk. I do it to my garbage man. Like, I am a giant mentally handicapped person.

I literally come outside of my house, I do the ball. Of course, they love it. I don't know if they do. They love it. They give me the honk. Well, the thing about this is that, you know, them just fucking driving on all these back roads,

they were fucking driving this shit 30 miles from where I grew up. If it was contaminated, they would have had a trail of death. They would have killed Snyder, Roby, Anton, Albany, Breckenridge, Looters. Go out for the map. Wait, are those people or cities? Because I got to meet your friend Looters.

And the name is Looters. You can figure out why. I hope everything is nailed down in your house. No, Looters, I lived in Looters when I was a kid. There's a town called Looters. Looters sounds like one of those gas station restaurants where you can eat as much as you can steal. Marcus, how many times did you say the sentence,

you ain't from around here, are you? None, I wouldn't one of those guys. Oh, that's nice. No, never ever. It was like, oh my god, I don't know your face like the back of my fucking hand. I haven't been seeing you every goddamn day of my life for the last 15 fucking years.

Fucking get me out of Looters. What is your name? Tell me, where do you go? Take me with you. No, all these had my brother used to live in Snyder. I got family in Breckenridge. They would have wiped out all of us. And you know what?

It would have even killed the fucking folk monster. Wow. It was driving, it would have gone right through stamps. Wow. Wow. And stamps has been ruined since the USPS has really been absolutely felled in the last year. But no, they wrapped it up, dog meat.

This is the thing, is that now that the US and their team has gotten involved, they know how to hygienically wrap it up. They also know, and this is true, that it's in the special operations manual. I'm sure it is. You're supposed to let a UFO air out. Well, yes, of course you do, because if it is

is venting highly dangerous chemicals, you want it to vent all of the highly dangerous chemicals, or at least vent enough where it is no longer concentrated enough to kill anyone who happens to come into contact with it. It makes sense. It makes all the sense. You gotta let a car run out of gas.

Especially not if you're not used to pure gel to oxygen and its benefits and high G situations. It might not be a human. Okay. All right, I believe it. Well, the reason why the UFO was taken to Atlanta is because Atlanta is the home of the center of disease control. Oh, yeah.

And if a lethal biological agent was present, the CDC would be the place to discover exactly what it was. And if we could use it. Yeah, yeah. Interesting. I didn't know Atlanta was the home of the CDC. Oh, you didn't know that? I did know that.

I remember when I was in Atlanta shooting Pretty Face and the guy, you remember when that one guy got off the plane with Ebola? Yes. Yeah. And he went all around Brooklyn? Yeah. But then they shipped him to Atlanta in a bubble.

And I remember when he arrived, they shut all the highways down and this dude, like talk about feeling like a star for a day. When you're just sitting inside your truck bubble as you arrive at the CDC. And it's so nice because they probably ask you, do you want a Starbucks or something? I'm sure, absolutely.

But after running extensive tests, the CDC declared that the UFO was no longer dangerous. And it was surmised that most likely the Mexican soldiers died as a result of toxic chemicals bending from the crashed vehicle. But what's interesting about this UFO and the CDC is that UFO researcher Ryan Wood uncovered a one page memo from May of 1950, suggesting that the British Ministry

of Defense had considered weaponizing biological material retrieved from a UFO. Should they find one? This is one of the main aims of the Majestic 12 group, was not only were they supposed to contain and figure out what the UFO situation was, the UFO problem is, as if they were also supposed to begin the first strings

of how do we retroactively build technology from this UFO bullshit that we're finding. And then one of the top tier things in the, in MJ12 was how do we develop bio weapons from alien viruses, that kind of shit. And Ryan Wood does a very impassioned episode of Coast to Coast AM. He is in charge of the MJ12 documents.

That is like what him and his dad do for fun. They authenticate MJ12 documents. And that argument between him and the man who claimed to invented gel oxygen, while he's also being like, well, if you look at page 74 of the MJ12, and it's like, they're both making shit up. It's like Robin Williams and, and, and fucking.

James Lipton. Yeah, there's fire and it all. Inside the actor's studio. Interesting. They also were able to get the technology for hot pockets after they reverse engineered what they found in Mexico. Interesting.

The crisping sleeve. It's quite ingenious. It is ingenious. And honestly, if you cover that crisping sleeve in lube, you can fuck it. Yeah. Yes, you can. Well, Wood also found documents that discussed

the lethal contamination of four lab techs who died after handling debris and bodies from a UFO crash without proper protection. According to those documents, the technicians died a horrible death of seizures and pressurized bleeding from every orifice after coming into contact with bodily fluids from UFO occupants.

Also, that is a very common, there is a common through line of people getting sick after being inside of UFOs and outside of UFOs or having close encounters. And whatever the experience is, shooting blood, massive crazy diarrhea. The Cash Landrum incident is another story, but a family that got abducted in their car

and it was like a mom heard the grandma and a little kid and they got abducted and then released. And then when they came back, they were all just shit. And they all got sunburnt. They were all like, so it felt like low level radiation poisoning. Interesting. But this information came from a Majestic 12 document

and as any serious student of ufology knows, Majestic 12 documents are suspect to say the least. Well, now they are very much so. I am now of the mind that whatever it is is real in them has been absolutely taken over by some form of, that is a PSYOP for certain. I think Majestic 12 is definitely a PSYOP that they used. But it's also weird because now we are seeing,

well, there has been inside groups within the Pentagon. They have been operating without the president's consent or the president's knowledge for years. They do do it, but I don't know if there was a group called Majestic 12. All right. So after the CDC released the UFO without finding any contaminant, it was supposedly convoyed back to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base,

which is the same base where the Roswell wreckage was allegedly taken in 1947. But as far as evidence goes through this entire saga, there is very little, of course, outside of people who saw a thing in the sky. The other evidence is circumstantial. You know, you got the radioactive mystery pit and the wreckage of the plane. Doesn't necessarily prove anything,

but it does strengthen the case a little bit. Really, most of the information came in 1992, when a document called the Dineb Report began appearing on UFO bulletin boards on the internet. Back when the internet was, of course, mostly academics, drug dealers, sci-fi nerds, and ufologists. The good old days. Yeah, that's a fancy way of saying perfect.

Now, the Dineb Report was eventually printed out and sent to UFO researchers, and in the summer of 1993, it found its way anonymously to the mailbox of Mufan Washington D.C. State Director Elaine Douglas, who at the time was an officer for the Washington D.C. UFO group Operation Right to Know. And she looked at it, and she did the, we got one, and hit the alarm. Very Ghostbusters-esque. Also, slam your beer if you're surprised that was a woman that received the prize.

I don't think that's the first woman's name we've ever mentioned with Mufan. I'm very happy for them. And not only a woman, Elaine Douglas was also an MIT graduate. She was a very highly respected, a very accomplished person. Wow. But this came out, and I wonder if this came from the same Kinkos that Bill Cooper did his work at. Like, you remember how that was the whole thing when they left the plans in the fucking copier? It's always these printing places.

We have to start looking into these printing places, because they have everyone's secrets. So that guy that's 17-year-old that looks at you like your shit when you're trying to print out pictures of your mom because you're trying to come up with some kind of last-minute, desperate, emotional Christmas gift, they know everything about you. What level of meth insanity are you on? That is outside, that is a day three of doing straight-up Christmas. We don't look into these Kinkos. Read MJ12 documents for three days and see what happens.

As far as who wrote the Dineb report, it was authored by a person going only by the name J.S., which could mean joint staff, joint services, joint stars, or journal staff, among a near-infinite amount of other options. Yeah, it could be John Smith from Pocahontas. It could be Jeff Sessions. Jeff Sessions, the guy with the ears, Justin Simperlake. Oh, yeah. That's the new cock, Justin Timberlake.

I love Simperlake. I actually do have a bit of a theory on this. I mean, if you think the Dineb report came from one of the intelligence agencies, most likely the CIA. The CIA is, of course, a part of the deep state. What are the deep state? Pedophiles. So who is J.S.?

I contend that it is Jimmy Savile. Holy crap. I was going to jokingly say Jimmy Savile with no evidence to back it up, and then Marcus just came in with all the evidence to back it up. Here we go. Here's the sound note. That's my trench coat opening. Something just got exposed.

Now, as far as the name of the report goes, Yoriarty and Torres speculate that it was so named because it was written by government insiders. And it was the contention of those insiders that the source of this craft was the star Dineb. This is where it really jumped. We're going off-road in here. Your brain car better have good shots because this is the... Okay, I think we just ran over a bunch of cactuses. Okay, so this is where it might get out of this world.

A bit. Yeah. Dineb is a super-giant star, 1630 light-years away from Earth, that pumps out enough light to equal 60,000 of our own suns. Ironically often confused for a UFO due to its brightness in the night sky, Dineb is a part of the Cygnus constellation, which lies at a critical juncture in the Milky Way known as the Great Rift. And this is how you know the Dineb report is real,

is because of all the very specific numbers. Right. And it's all really coming together because if you eat too many Milky Ways, you will get saggy. And then, of course, you're a resident of sagginess. It was sagginess was the name of it, right? Cygnus, Cygnus, Cygnus, is it Cygnus? I don't know.

Cygnus. Now, the Great Rift has been an important part of many cultures throughout human history, with some believing that all life in the galaxy is birthed from this one place. In fact, paranormal researcher, John Jenkins, maintains that the Great Rift is, in effect, the Milky Way's vagina. And Jupiter is the Milky Way's cli- Broccoli. Oh my god.

I would say Jupiter is more of the Milky Way's dingleberry, or one of them. Ah. Wow. I love being on the shaggy dog end of the universe. I love the way these 12-year-olds took over astronomy and changed everything we see in the sky. I thought it was a lion before. Now I just see a perinium and an asshole and a smile. Well, this Milky Way's vagina concept is actually related to the December 2012 theory

from about a decade ago, when we all halfway believed that because the Mayan calendar was ending, the world would therefore end with it. Remember 2012? Yeah, some of us halfway believed. Some of us prepared. Quantum quiddle. And also, if you do have a Milky Way vagina, go to the doctor. Again, we're not doctors.

But if there is any milk coming out of any part of your body that is not your nose after you laugh too much after drinking said milk, go to the doctor. Hey, also, let's normalize discharge. Sure. If anything that's looking like caramel or nougat's coming out of there, that's, you can normalize the discharge, but get that nougat checked out. Get the gym sinker checked out. But during the December of 2012, the winter solstice sun actually appeared in the middle

of the Great Rift. And at that point, the Milky Way, quote unquote, sat on the Earth, opening up the cosmic sky portal and essentially smothering our planet with its cosmic vagina. I am liking this creation too. I don't. I'm just right where I want to be. OK. But that's origin of the galaxy stuff.

As far as aliens go, the constellation Cygnus, of which Deneb is a part, is said to be the origin of two of the five alien species that the US government has observed visiting Earth. Man, this is the thing is that the numbers are all over the place, right? Because nowadays, they're saying 13. I guess time has passed. Time has passed. More discoveries have been made.

One of those two species are the arqualoids. OK. They're the beaky-nosed gray clones of the ebons. Yep. Of course, the ebons are zeta reticulant grays, correct? Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah.

And the. Ebons. And the arqualoids are clones of them, but they have beaky noses. They gave us so they could smell more. They were supposedly the aliens who met President Eisenhower at Holloman Air Force Base in 1954 when Eisenhower was reported to be at the dentist. When we all know Eisenhower hates the dentist. Absolutely.

I'm not even sure if he has teeth. The other species are the heplaloids, of which very little is known, other than one guy who insists that they're actually called heptaloids. Oh, God, there's always more. But due to a typo, they have been misnamed for decades. It just doesn't matter how far you go in the galaxy. There's always somebody there to correct your fucking pronunciation of bullshit. Yep.

You always, you got the grammar, Nazis. It's no matter where. Please, grammar, please. It's just like more pervasive than any other force in the universe. Yeah, I agree. But if you really do want to get into the really weird, really specific, and most likely entirely made up side of ufology, it's speculated that the report was named because Deneb is assumed to be where alien

species who visit the earth originate. Sure. Looked at another way. It could be that Deneb, the contamination, the deaths of 24 Mexican soldiers, and every cinematic element of the Koyama crash was merely added on after the fact to make it a better story. It could just be the fucking UFO crash into an airplane, and that was it. That's still pretty big.

That's a big story. But they don't. It's a short story, though. It is a short story. And also, it doesn't allow for the room of creating these little side plots, which allows covert agencies to say that it's not real. But they create all these side plots. But because then you have this little kernel of truth in the middle of it surrounded by

bullshit, and they can just say, oh, look at the bullshit. Obviously, the center of this is also fake. Well, speaking of kernels, you eat a lot of corn. It's going to show up here in your dookie. I'm going to say in this scenario that corn is the truth. Is it possible that these large, elaborate stories, there is peppered in some truth? Yeah. And that's how the CIA kind of like, you know, because, you know, again,

going back to spycraft, they see things different than we do. I actually, that's an apt, that is an apt allegory. The idea of corn nuggets in the poop, because it's true. Because they always come through. And you can always see them. And you always remember, because the best part is when you shit, and then there's corn in it, and you sit and look at it and be like, I remember that corn.

I love that corn. But all right, well, I mean, that's kind of the whole point of this, is that, you know, all of these wacky stories put a tarnish on the fact that these types of silvery metal craft have been seen for decades and are still being seen by credible witnesses, mostly pilots up in the air. Well, nowadays, we're really seeing the cubes, cuboids with spheres in them. That is the one. And then the the the orps, the like, those are types of these things they're seeing a

lot. And then they are, there's a lot of this like a weird ass, then triangles are coming back to in a big one. Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, there was a pilot in Mexico named Carlos Antonio De Los Santos Montiel, who just a year after the crash at Coyame encountered three UFOs while flying from Mexico City to the coastal city of Lazaro Cardenas.

That guy is such a beautiful long name. You can almost see him hitting people in the back of the head with his name tag as he walks by. That's so cute. I know. Carlos claimed that he was the pilot and lone occupant of a Piper Aztec PA-24 airplane, and he had his experience on a clear day about 15,000 feet off the ground. While flying, he said he had the sensation that something was close to the left wing. After feeling the plane vibrating, he then looked to his right and saw a dark gray disc,

rat gray, as he put it, with a dome on top keeping pace next to him. Suddenly, a second disc appeared on the left wing, and Carlos was not ashamed to say that it freaked him out so much, he cried a little bit. Yeah, I'd be pretty freaked out. I guess. Then, a third disc approached his plane head on, and just before it crashed directly into the Piper, it dropped, and the top of the UFO grazed the bottom of the plane. Carlos tried bank and left, but found that the control zone of his plane wouldn't respond.

Wow. Knowing he needed help, Carlos radioed air traffic controllers to say, and this is locked. He said that his aircraft was out of control, and three unidentified flying objects were buzzing his plane. Oh, fuck, man! Scary, Steve, while they're just having, they're doing the, like, insurance scams. Have you ever seen those, where you get a couple of cars together, and what you do is you drive somebody off the road, and you try to get them to give you their insurance information?

I don't know your insurance company. I don't know your Polish get-well-quick scheme, so I have no idea what you're talking about. Well, then, in a terrifying turn of events, one of the crafts captured Carlos' plane in a tractor beam and dragged it up to a height of 14,800 feet, which is, oh, god, scary. And that's the maximum an aircraft can fly without a pressurized cockpit. Fuck me, man! It's just shaking a shit, and all these UFOs looking over your graves and just fucking ripping bongs. Just having a great time drinking Miller Life.

I'm sure it's fun as hell for the graves. But just as suddenly as the UFOs appeared, they vanished, and Carlos landed safely, reporting about the same type of aircraft recovered at Koyami, even though the Koyami crash was never made public in Mexico. The Koyami crash is better known in America than it is in the country where it actually happened. When Uriarty and Torres tried finding witnesses in the early 2000s, they only found two willing to talk, and even they only said they saw the airplane crash, but were quickly shoot away by armed military men.

Furthermore, Uriarty and Torres said that they had the impression that an unseen lid clamped down tightly in Koyami when they started asking questions. Streets emptied, businesses closed, and not a single vehicle was seen moving. It was as if the people of Koyami knew that the subject of UFOs was off limits, and most of them went to extreme lengths to avoid even the mention of the 1974 crash. But even though some goofy bullshit got attached to Koyami, the fact remains that both the Koyami crash and the subsequent encounter of Carlos Antonio de los Santos Montiel track with sightings of UFOs that we now know to be completely legitimate.

It's very interesting. Wow, you can just see the poor drunk tourists coming straight from Cancun, walking into a Koyami bar, being like, here's where the aliens are, and they just cut to him on a steak about to be lit on fire after the townsfolk are all met. I had no idea it was so serious. I should have bought more beers. No. They also had a mass group sighting right after the Koyami report, right after the Koyami crash, where it was during the, it was an eclipse happening.

It was a very big deal in Mexico, and many people saw these UFOs flying around. There was a lot of UFO activity at the time, and I love this story. It's fantastic. Fantastic story. But you know, there's obviously, there's holes in it, but it comes down to, if this is a story, that if you believe in any of these stories, you kind of have to look at this one too. So, gotcha, fuckers. There you go, buddy. You got him.

It's compelling. It is compelling and fantastic storytelling, as always, Mr. Parks and Mr. Zabrowski. I cannot imagine what the phone calls were like. Marcus, you did the saints work. You did the Lord's work this week. Having to do that with Henry. Scream at you as he discovered the truth. I was good.

Also, Ryan S. Wood talking to Art Bell just brings me so back. Like, that guy is really funny, but he also, I will say, he does say some fucking dumb shit. Like, he definitely like, because his whole thing was just like, I have pictures of a convoy going into S4. And Art Bell's like, well, I'd like to see some of those. And so he sent him the pictures, and Art Bell's like, yes, this is a picture of a truck. But you know what? That's all he said it was going to be.

That's all he said it was. That's evidence. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. Hopefully this episode expanded your mind just a little bit and got you out of whatever this version of reality they're pretending that we live in. The sweet, sweet heroin of the UFO universe is so nice. It was just like, I felt it so deep last night.

I was just listening to the coast playing Valheim. I was just fucking smoking a joint. I was like, this is where I need to be. Also, I mean, I know, I mean, I'm in Hollywood over here. And in no way does I mean, I'm taking meetings. And nor do I want to be involved in the Hollywood system. But more alien movies, please. They waited for more alien movies.

I want to see aliens. They shoehorn them into stupid superhero movies now. Yeah, but I want like a classic, man. I guess I'll just have to go watch Sigourney Weaver in the movie Alien and be happy with that. Contact is still good. Contact is good. I was just so happy this week to just settle into like real conspiracy theory again. Yeah.

Like the raw shit, like the fucking super speculative, like just fucking alien government agencies bullshit. I loved it. Oh, so that's real shit. That's the fucking real cocaine. There's also something about the tangible paperwork. The microfission, the microfission, like the actual looking through drawers and talking to people.

I UFO research pre-internet era. I just romanticize it because you can just see these people who are obviously very committed. Or some of the funnest forgers in the world, of the what's at Netflix documentary and Murder Among Mormons, which is fine. But mostly it's about how like if you got a guy that's like so focused on doing forgeries, you kind of be, it's crazy what they can pump out.

Like these MJ12 documents, whatever you want to say about, I think they're the some of the finest work of disinformation ever. Like you look at this stuff and you're like, you could see how this put people in a tizzy. Steve, poor Staten Friedman, let's pour out a, let's pour out a Maylocks for Staten Friedman right now. Because honestly, the amount of Ajida, these documents must have given him over the years.

But you talk about the hustle. Mr. Friedman died in an airport on the way, probably to speak about aliens. He was. And so that just shows you how committed he was. Never stop spinning, dog. And that's what you got to learn, man, to lay in idleness is death.

Sharks have to move or they drown. Well, I like the first part, but then the second part sounds like something my uncle who also believes in Q would say. Yeah. So I'll go. That was a call. I will take the first part. Follow the breadcrumbs.

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