Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 45: Demon Hunters

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

Demon hunters! They're real and out for action! Join us as we read passages from The Field Guide to Demons, explore the world of people who think they're in a constant battle with the forces of darkness, and discuss a trio of sexy sisters who perform exorcisms.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Oh, yes! Fuck you. No!

Every Henry. Unpredictable. I could say anything. He's good. Good. Very good. Chinese. Technically not racist, that's actually fine, you can stage your ideas.

Totally fine. Yeah, bad. Nikes. Okay, Nikes is also fine. Unpredictable. Yes, we're recording. Okay, well that's Marcus and I'm bad and then we got... Unpredictable Henry Zabrowski.

Oh, queer eyes. Queers. I just said queers. I could still say it because I'm unpredictable. You don't know what the fuck I'm gonna say. You're wacky. Lasers. Okay.

Cockass. Well, I like that one. Now you're really... Fuck. Oh fuck, your mother. Oh, you're last. Your mom is... Oh, your mom is asshole.

You're gonna look... It's got a little bit of poopoo, a little tic-tac-a-poopoo on the head. Are you sure? Your mom is asshole. That's not my mother. Look it up. Unpredictable. All right.

Unpredictable. There is no more unpredictable nether demon than a demon himself. Yeah. And that's today we're gonna be talking about. Six, six, six. Sign of the beast. Satan's helpers. Come down to Satan Town, make you a fucking demon.

Yeah, this episode's all about demons and there are... And there's a lot of people talking about it. There's a rise in demonic activity. I've heard that. Because of the change of the guard church of Satan. It's becoming powerful again up top. Yeah. Hail Satan.

Hail Satan. Hail Adrian. Six, six, six. Sign of the beast. I'm so glad we're winning. Yeah, absolutely. What's going on? There's a shake-up?

I think it's just the gays that are winning. But thanks for them. Thanks to them because they're sweaty, cannubial snakes wrapped around each other. Their seamen drenched nightmare love is making Satan strong and we thank him for that. What's a cannubial? I don't know. Unpredictable. Unpredictable.

He's combining words like cannoodling and nubile. Oh, interesting. Unpredictable. Unpredictable. You never know what's gonna happen. What's going on with the church? Cock-a-doodle-dung. Unpredictable.

Cock-a-doodle-dung is fun, though. Marcus here has been reading this Field Guide to Demons for some time now, having fun on the train with it. Oh, having a great time on the train. I love reading inappropriate things on the train. I was reading David Ike's book on the train the other day and just people, you know, and I got the mustache now, so I'm just extra fucking dumb to people. What's David Ike's new book?

I'm still going, the biggest idea has taken me some time to get through. Not what one would call, it's just like the way he writes, and we'll get into this for a second, but it's just like the way he writes is always like, he'll say something like this long thing about the Samarian idea, describing the gods as men from rocket ships, and then there'll be two pages of him just going like, I don't care that people say I'm crazy. In the middle of his own book, defending himself to people that are not criticizing him, in the middle of the book that you're writing. Because they're all in his own head.

He's in a room alone, typing away at a computer, and he's like, I think you're crazy. I don't care what you say. Nobody is with you, but your mother has just made beef stroganoff, so you better get downstairs or she's going to be mad. Mom, I hate stroganoff. The reptiles made it up. Interesting. Well, it's Tuesday and we make stroganoff on Tuesdays.

So now today, so we're talking about our, the favorite dark nights of Satan himself, Lord and Master. These are his helpers. These are his middle managers, and these are people that we love and respect, and they make our schedules. You have to love and respect them. That's right. You want Saturdays off occasionally.

Well, we're going to start with some pre-Christian demon. Oh, okay. Yeah, this goes long way back in the days of the Persian Empire, Araman. Oh, so he's an Al-Qaeda? Unpredictable. Unpredictable. Araman, spirit of destruction, head of the evil empire, and all the demons, was a primordial spirit who arose as the independent counter force of Ahura Mazda, who in the religion

of ancient Persia- Oh, Ahura Mazda also just sounds like a fucking car. Yeah, it does. An ancient Persia was the eternal god, the wise lord, and spirit of good. The realm of Araman is the desolate wasteland of the desert, although he is seen sometimes in hell. Here's a little story involving Araman. Oh, please do. So this is an ancient demon who was the, he was probably what you would really, originally

called like the blueprint for what we call Satan now. Yeah, he was not one of the host of angels or anything like that. No, this is before any of that bullshit. This is Sumerian where it's just like, they saw a weird dude in the desert and they called him Araman. Yeah, so we see the most powerful demon creature of the time right now. He was in charge of the quote unquote evil empire, whatever that means. Yeah, he was in charge of all the demons.

He was working with the Koch brothers. Which podcast is this? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Unpredictable Ben Kissel. Unpredictable. In one tale, Araman, ruler of the desert, had a son named Zohac and wanted to train him to be as evil as possible. Yeah, and you don't want to, don't mess with the Zohac.

This just sounds like an Adam Sandler movie. This is exactly where little Nikki came from. I am fucking on fire. Oh, I thought you were going to go out. Exactly. He suggested to Zohac that he kill his own father and when the boy did, Araman, who of course had not really been killed, installed himself in disguise as a chef in the palace. There he prepared the-

Hey, you're like a meatball. The chef is yelling. Hey, I made a soup. I made soup for everybody. That's right. It kind of looks like Araman, leader of evil. But he's not a chef, there's no way he could be. There he prepared the flesh of animals to further corrupt the boy.

His son so enjoyed the dishes that he wished to reward the chef. Araman, disguised as a cook, asked only that he be allowed to kiss the young man's shoulders. Oh, interesting. It looks like Araman is being a little unpredictable. His wish was granted, after which he immediately vanished. Snakes began to sprout from the spots he kissed. And when Zohac chopped them off, they grew back. Araman then entered disguised as a physician to help the lad.

He gave him an STD. He dressed up as a chef, raped his poor boy, gave him an STD, and then dressed up as a doctor. And Araman's a regular Peter fucking cellar. This is where these different characters go on. Remarkable. He's playing three different characters in one fucking movie. God, I put the mustache on for one, I put a beard on for another one. He's like Eddie Murphy.

He's really phenomenal. I told Zohac that he had to feed the snakes with human brains daily. Wow. Zohac did it. I had a fucking dime every single time. Every single time snakes grow out of my shoulders. And that doctor comes over who looks mysteriously like the chef. It's so weird that I had a homosexual encounter with.

Feed it brains. Oh, these need to be fed in human brains. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know the magic snakes. I should have thought that they're magic snakes. Yeah, I'm gonna get a new HMO. Zohac did as he was told and so became the pride of his arch demon father. He ruled for a thousand terrible years until he was finally destroyed.

Here is a dispelling and disarming technique when dealing with demonic forces of this order. Is this what got him kicked out this technique here? Just wait. Okay. When dealing with demonic forces of this order and with the attributes of evil so clearly defined, the traveler is asked to choose. Interesting. What?

I don't know. We need the traveler's ass to choose. Goes to the gozerian, offer up destruction, choose the form. Someone asks if you're a god, you say yes. Yes. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to quote Ghostbusters on you. But this is, um, but that's...

Yeah, that's very retarded. So how do you get rid of them? You tell them to leave. You tell them to leave? This whole time I got snakes growing out of my shoulders. You're like, get out of here! You have to do it like an old timey car. Yeah!

You want it? Get out of here! This is interesting. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But... All right, now we're going to move on to Judaism. Ask him to leave. Okay.

And by the way, happy Jewish New Year. Oh. Should we not be on electronics right now? I don't know. You know, it's not... Oh man, that's so sad because I'm wearing my bacon shoes outside. Shouldn't be doing that. Every Monday with his bacon shoes.

I had a bunch of meat and milk this morning. Oh, I'm mixing it up. I didn't even throw out the fucking plates. Oh, happy Jew New Year. Happy Jew Year. Okay. Unpredictable. Unpredictable.

I think it just means racist. Yeah, it's pretty racist. Unpredictable. Almost predictable. But unpredictable. Boots. That's unpredictable. That's very unpredictable.

I didn't expect boots. I mean, you talked about shoes. So, you know, there's a correlation there. There's a small correlation. I'm not a random number generator. Yeah. I'm a man with a brain with synapses all connected in one big fucking pile of jelly in my head. That's gonna be a great snake's dinner.

What is going on with this? Unpredictable. And Judaism. All right. Okay, give us some Judaism news. Asmodeus is the undisputed king of the demons in Hebrew lore. He has three heads that face different directions. Wait a second, wait a second.

Wasn't the other guy the undisputed king of the demons as well? Yeah, but that was Iranian. Oh. Like, that was Persian. Yeah, that's fine. I don't mean to criticize. No, no, it's fine. This is Judek.

We need to get some boxing gloves on these donkeys and see which one will win. I mean, this is really intense stuff here. Well, this man, one is the head of a bull. The second, the head of a ram. And the third, the head of an ogre. He has the legs. And the head of a apagoda. Hey, stop looking at me, lamb.

I'm still alive. He has the legs and feet of a cock and he rides a fire-breathing lion. All of these animals are associated with lust, which is the demon is truly unpredictable. Interesting, interesting. Lust is his specialty. His other power areas are wrath and revenge. He wreaks havoc in households and produces enmity between man and wife.

His favorite place is the bedroom. Nice. I feel like he does a lot of similar things that porn does to a relationship. Yeah, the internet porn. To David DeCovne and poor Taya Leone. I wish that they had known that this was the demon. What is it, Osmondius? Osmondius.

Osmondius. I'm sorry, David DeCovne. He's the one who did it. He may be addicted to that internet porn. Is that what the old DeCovne is addicted to? How do you know if you're addicted to porn? You can't stop looking at it and you come three times a day. Huh.

It's true though. It's like by the definitions of alcoholism, like as soon as you wake up, if you want to drink, you're an alcoholic. As soon as I wake up, it's always furiously masturbate. Absolutely. Yes. Apparently, yeah. You'll see it's like a symptom of alcoholism is drinking like four beers a night.

I'm like, uh-oh. It's like a symbol of a bad fucking relationship. Osmondius. Tell him Osmondius. Well, here's a disarming technique for Osmondius. First, I'm going to read a small passage from the Talmud. To discover demons, spread ashes around your bed at night and in the morning, you may see if any footprints like those of a cock are there.

Interesting. Ah. Here's the technique. Somebody's been robbing their balls all over my floor. If Osmondius- No, no, no. Fucking chicken, man. A chicken.

Cock is a chicken. It's a cock like squirming down on the floor. Oh, it's weird. It just seemed like it was the trails of bull sweat all over my fucking ashes. Oh, well. If Osmondius is found in the bedroom, the heart and liver of a special fish can be placed on an incense burner and roasted for the terrible aroma.

The type of fish is known only to angels. So the next best thing is any pungent smelling herbs such as garlic or strong smelling smoke from incense. It's salmon. It's goddamn salmon. Or burning tar, which is always an effective repellent. That's great for the bedroom. Yeah.

Tar, fish hearts. And that really will immediately kill any sexual feelings going on inside of your bedroom. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's definitely good. Yeah, burning fish. I'm having sinus issues today.

I'm having a... I'm trying to clear up my sinuses. Okay. Oh. No, no, no, no, no. All right. We have one more. This one comes from Armenia.

It is called the Al. The Al? Like A-L? Yes. Oh, it's like... Bundy. Yeah. Oh, Bundy.

The Al is a species of terrifying half-human, half-animal creature with brass fingernails, long snake-like hair, a fiery single eye, iron teeth, and the tusks of a wild boar. Also known as the McNeely. Oh, the old McNeely. The Al carries iron scissors. Whenever it wears scissors. Whenever it wears a pointed hat covered with small bells.

Look out. Yeah. I'm about to go scrapbooking. Don't mess with the demon when he scrapbooks. It becomes completely invisible. Al's live in damp places like the stable or sandy wet areas on the road. And the bedroom. Hello.

Come on over, ladies. I'm lonely. The Al, their awful deeds are done in the nursery. Al's began as disease-carrying demons and evolved into a gruesome specialty. They attack pregnant women, strangling them and their unborn children and pulling out their livers. They also attack and steal newborns up to seven months of age and are said to cause miscarriage as well.

Here's a bit of lore. Please. In the beginning, God gave Adam an Al for a companion. But the Al, made of fire, was not compatible with Adam. Made of dust. Then God... What? Stay with me.

There are some things here. Then God created Eve. It seems to me God has been fairly unpredictable. This infuriated the envious Al, who has been out to destroy women ever since. In Christian legend... Also known as the stand-up comedian. In Christian legend, Saint's new scissor bit. More than a scissor bit, it's gonna be huge.

It's about my ex-girlfriend. I don't know why they don't like me. Saint Peter encountered a grotesque being with iron teeth and tusks sitting on the roadside in a sandy wet place and asked him to identify himself. The creature replied, Call me Al. He went on to describe his activities.

The whole time growing up you think Chevy Chase is singing it. I strangle. I strangle the mother in childbirth and pull out her liver. I seal the unborn infant and carry it to our demon king Here is how to keep the owl away. Please. Yeah, I would like one must put many iron utensils pots knives and other objects All around one's body when pregnant a woman must sleep with a piece of iron under her pillow a sword or knife will do a Pin yeah, hey, how do you have one of those line and the iron knife in your house? Oh, yeah, everyone has one and some lore sticking a pin in the blouse of an owl will make it a slave There are also special prayers that can be uttered during childbirth to discourage an owl from attacking the liver or a newborn

Interesting interesting. Do we have any of those special prayers at all? No. No, okay This thing does not have any answers. Okay. Good. Good. Good. So these are so I feel like there's a taste of the variants of demons or they're like saints There are thousands upon thousands of different types of demons that exist that all are attached to specific things like specific to like You you can either summon them to get your way in a certain area of life Or you can dispel them if you feel like well my dick ain't hard anymore. It's Ozzy Modius Yeah, right. Yeah, certainly not because oh She's big now, you know some way you've been eating poorly. Yes. Yes

But we want to step into some real-life modern demon hunters. Yeah, I like this Right now what I like about Being a demon hunter is that you could just straight up just like call yourself a demon hunter Anyone can be one and you are one then right then you just are one. Are you a demon hunter Marcus? Uh, no, no, I'm a demon gatherer. Oh, that's very interesting. That's very peaceful. Yeah Well, do we want to we do we want to read The posting that we found that kind of inspired this entire episode. Yes, please. Yeah Well, I found this on Reddit a few days ago sent it over to Henry

This is something that was posted just on a wall in somebody's neighborhood. So this yeah, this is it This is from August 11th 2009 To the Fairmont Park demon I knew you would return to the Forbidden Drive back to your last kill. That was your downfall Before I could just feel you since you but now I can smell you and soon I will see you sometime in the near future I will see you in my dreams It will start as a silhouette then progress into a heinous portrait the evil look on your face will haunt me You will sense this too for I have walked your path in search of you

Okay, now I will haunt you down. You will try to find and stop me But to no avail my orbs will line up to protect me my wings will fly circles around you I will be able to touch you and yet be out of your reach You will use the elements for evil, but I will use them to stop you They will work in my favor the elements will not let me down. They never have Just as nobody knows who you are nor will anyone know me only you will know who I am when we covet one another You may have a gun or a knife, but I have the rock on the day we meet for battle I will throw the rock at you with which you will have no defense

It's a star from all this is about larping take heed to my words demon for I just not tick tock tick tock Nice, I feel like this is a 39 year old man who lives in his mother's basement. He dresses up as a fucking Jedi Every day he's at the book. It's like he's the guy who goes to the blue stove for Jackie works And he walks up to her and be like winch. I will have a spicy pumpkin latte Yeah, you do get the feeling that's the front page of his okay cupid Not a bad rider though. No, no, I mean he's got a lot of emotion there. He does and he definitely a lot of dry I mean I enjoyed a weapon though. I mean a rock reading it aloud. It's it goes. Yes, of course Yeah, a wonderful piece of my thing is this I really truly truly believe that if demons existed if there was such a thing as

invoking a millennial old Entity that is between dimensions that it with evil intent you Think you as a basement dwelling the 39 year old man Baldwin are not going to defeat Certainly not with a rock That's what I don't understand the weapon of choice because there's a lot of age or a crucifix every time you read about this They always talk about like, you know, what you do with it, you know, they point a lot towards exorcisms, right? Mm-hmm, and it's like there's no rock in the fucking exorcism No, but you have it. It's all symbolic the idea is that you get the name of it

You get the demon to submit it gives you its name then you have power of the demon You can then move the demon out from the person and then stage stage one is moving the demon out for the person and stage two Was then banning the demon from being in the room and there's all just like sounds like a messy divorce. Yes Yes, and the whole thing is that these priests just believe that this can happen that you can control these demons I just really believe that if it was actually a demon It's just not gonna carrot you that you're a priest It's the ego of the human beast that they think that they can somehow control a demon if demons wanted to run rampant all over the country

And all over the world. I feel like they would yeah And I don't think it's gonna be at the behest of a 50 year old man Who is just who's wearing a silly costume who's desperately trying not to rape a boy right now rape a boy Or you know, I mean when that 50 year old priest is walking down the streets And he's yelling at kids to pull up their pants pull up your pants. He's just scared of their fucking waist That's right. You're scared of their fucking legs and they're in their asses, but the kids don't that's how they know that their pants are Or down no because kids can do what they want because it's not that it's not the 18th century anymore You don't need to dress up in a special uniform to go to worship your fake shit. Absolutely. All right

That is a good thing if you do want to have that pull up your pants campaign that they were doing in Newark Send some priests over there have them do some grabby hands on those sweet butts Well, we also had that great garter, but and I also believe there is there are cases of extreme these like extreme Exorcism case that we we covered a while ago. Yeah, this is a mess episode Which are very interesting and like a lot of times like those people they end up dead. That's the whole thing It's like good like it's through starvation and things like something like that happen. But these people don't They don't recover. Well, it's feet of flu Starvacals that's it starving exorcism and then choking exorcism, but there's also but then you have you know

We we're gonna we're gonna go now go through some of these real-life demon hunters And what they really think is what they're they're endless crusade against evil. Let me read you this one I've been hired. Yeah, please. They've been hired by anybody. Yes. That's a thing. They're again No, they're not sanctioned. Okay, they are but that's a big thing is like you can now go and test out Like it's like a clap or like a fucking driver's license exam You go to the American associates of exorcism, right? Really and you can go and you take these 12 tests And then if you pass a test you get a license and then you can charge for exorcisms, right? Here's a sample question

Involvement in the occult includes a patronizing psychics B fantasy role-playing games C using the Ouija board D all of the above or E None of the above it's D. I mean the big thing is that again and these people with the new idea of The new idea of exorcism is that it's everything said if you're depressed or if you're if you're gay if especially if you're gay That's a big one. You're you are Inhabited by a demon and now it's very routine. We're watching this. We'll talk about this They people pay like 600 bucks a pop. We have no money They travel across the country to these exorcists who say they can help them and it's just because they're like fat

They're eating too much and then they because they're entering in this sort of ritual They start acting like a demon they have all this video of like this old lady going Yeah, like I'm dimension the demon so here is a posting from the website experience project calm in which people of like-minded and People who who like certain pursuits all at once like ballerinas if you're if you work on a thing I like flamenco dancing right you can fill out you can join the bulletins for that and here where they had a bulletin board called Okay, I am a demon hunter. Okay, cool Now this is from winged hunter three two one seven. I protect her from demons

I like the winged hunter like one number one was like taken Oh, yes, this is her number's work. This is the 30,000 two hundred and 17th winged hunter That is on demon hunter the demon hunter website. Um, so I'm reading this word for word. So when I say this is because like so it has like seven O's right, so Basically my whole life. I had a crush on this girl secretly. She liked me too. Finally. We started dating. I am so in love I always had an idea that she could talk to ghosts then she told me she was psychic and of course I believed her Yeah, she taught me how to steal with her. She taught me how to heal with her aura because she's really good at it She told me that I had a spirit guy named Chris and then I could hear him

He taught me how to summon aura into my hands and to shoot it like a weapon then my doll face started acting strange and violent Soon I found out she was possessed I did the only thing I could think of and slash the demon out with my aura claws Since then Chris continued training me to become a demon hunter for Christ and through and when my training is complete God gifted me wings to use against demons They are huge wings on my back made of soul and they store massive massive amounts of energy XD no feathers since then I have gone to hell and back on all sorts of crazy awful misadventures But I've never been alone over time. I've come to realize I was destined for this

I never go out of my way to kill demons. I just kill them to protect the ones I love or myself I protect her from demons Great boyfriend loving loving loving. It's a really fun manga. Yeah, I like that He's like an evangelical Christian as well. They're all this way. There's a lot of people the whole thing is that they all believe That I mean like you have to be Christian in order to fight the demons, right? Because not the demons are gonna jump into your body sure sure yeah Anybody can have this idea like anybody can be a demon hunter as long as your Christian Yeah, this guy says the thing that's funny is people think that they're aliens, but they're demons

I know because I am hunting them down for like seven years Some people say I might be crazy, but I've been to doctors and they all say the same thing. I'm I that I am fine I love these guys and then I found this other game named me Russ Dizdar, right? He has a website called shatter the darkness dot net right Ross Dizdar Yeah, the thing about Russ Dizdar is that he coming out of the website. I'm sorry to talk to a shatter the darkness dot net Okay, which means he could not get a calm could not afford one So this is a guy not a dot edu No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, so he is this is a guy whose main tenet of his belief that um that you know

Satanism and demons are on the rise which is a why there is a larger call for exorcist So why there's so many more exorcisms going on by demand Yes, there's a good exorcist economy and that the highest time the first high times of a cult Influenced the world was in pre-nazi Germany. Oh, okay, and that the second one was in the awful evil 1960s the United States of America. He's in the 1960s revolution for freedom and social change Events in human history here's Russ Dizdar's bio Coming out of the 60s into the 70s. Russ was a rock and roll in put rock and roll in partier

Consuming drugs alcohol and searching every door to meaning. He could he was a dabbler in dark occultism and a practitioner of golden Buddha Meditation I sought to experience anything spiritual and alternative to find what I was looking for None of the finite spirits or counterfeit spirituality led me to God So now you know that originally he was pretending like it was written by someone else, but then It was only when a man so filled with the spirit of God and leashed on me the love power and message of Jesus Christ That I found my answer when I accepted the living Christ into my life in September 1975 The blind just came off and the presence power and love of God came in Jesus filled my life and changed it forever It's not a religion not a set of rules. It's an awesome relationship with God knowing God

Yeah, um, I just love all this so basically he wrote this whole website I really wish that we knew him when he was the rock and roll demon hunter I mean because then he was actually funny, but the the the rest of his stuff, right? He has these long Horrible podcasts like we were trying. I was trying to listen to them in the office before and they just don't make any sense But please check them out. It's shadow of the darkness not man And and try to decipher them So I googled his name to kind of like see what else popped up and all these things popped up of an identical

Bulletons on these other like various like different random bulletin sites like about the paranormal and This same thing topped up. Yes, and I was reading them at first and it says rustizdar demon hunter. Is he for real? We're all used to superstitious priests attacking anything that don't understand as being the work of the devil They usually have no experience of proof or nothing, but this guy is different He claims that he casts out negative spirits demons on its routine basis Parentheses exclamation point here's a short summary of some of his stuff how we got to start He says that after the spirit of Jesus Christ came at him. He had this ability to see these demons the first time He saw slash felt one in his room before that he didn't have this ability then it's time regressed

He discovered more I think the guy who turned him on to Jesus was also fucking him on a nightly basis What I've realized about but by reading this Reading this post over and over again is that he's writing it. He's great. Yes. He's writing it He is writing his own post talking about himself. Yes Who has the power new age versus the spirit of Jesus Christ? This is a big thing a lot of these people talk about too is that like it's about false Jesus Right fight like what demons want to do is that demons will come to you in the form of a new of new age ideas or like Ouija boards or gems gems they all talk about like these gems filled with demons like and what they what they do

Is is that like they take you for like all demons want to do is is take you as far away from Jesus as possible Right, and so you create a new Jesus back into that sweet sweet heroine He says the psychics who connect with dead relatives actually connect with tricky demons really? Yes, he has a big problem with psychics. I think he was like raped by a psychic Agree something happened him sexually. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Most passion is born from sexual abuse I mean, that's why I'm a comedian I'll fuck you funny. It's a person who's not a believer knows how the spirit Jesus Christ I'm just like I'm really he's a chubby man. No, he's really weird looking very interesting

So I guess the whole demon hunting thing it's it's becoming super popular and again There's more to bed and there's also connecting back to that other thing we were talking about with ghost aliens or molested where it's Like you also have more and more people talking about like is are these alien encounters or the demon counters and so like it's no It's all it's all just you know I Just desperately trying to not remember being molested. Yeah I just love that this guy has all of this paperwork on himself asking himself No, because those things are identical and every one in every website that they pop on pop up on like about him

They're absolutely identical, and then you'll see every once in a while. They'll break into first person just like he did in his bio Champion yeah, man. He's a good networker. He is one of the best. I know let's talk about the best ones Yeah, the Larson sisters. Yeah, the female demon Larson sister now We brought it up on roundtable once, but I think this is more appropriate now. Yeah, definitely I want to know about these gals here kind of hot. Yeah, they're a TLC show. Do they share a body? No We're talking about that would be fucking awesome. They are a demon join twin demon hunters Watching the second you can do anything with a conjoined twin. Oh, yeah, make them work at Arby's That's a horrible picture of them sucking dick. Yeah, no. Yeah, I've got it

We can see it after the show. I got to save them my computer Sisters I have a porno out where they're sucking a dick It's just a picture of them like sucking a dick like it's some dude on a recliner and The one on the right is suckin it. You know what? You know when you have two heads that you're pretty good at giving it Oh Predictable God, I had no idea they have a pic. I gotta see it. Okay. I can't wait Yeah, I will this this report that we're about to listen to a little bit of it's from ABC news

And it's these three girls the Larson sisters who are all They say that they're demon hunters and they're trained by their father the father is gonna talk on this a little bit Yeah, Reverend Bob Larson. Yeah, but we're gonna start a little bit into it. All right. Here we go What do you say to people who just don't believe this stuff at all? They should come and watch what we do By us you will walk away with no doubts whatsoever There is a war going on every day Against us they didn't hate us, but we know where the enemy is we know what he's attacking and we can fight back Their teacher is

Larson who says he's performed over 15,000 extra whoa and claims demons are much more common than many people think I know it sounds controversial But maybe half the population half Yes, so it's possible that I could have a demon as I may not know it Yes, before every exorcism Larson and the girls do a briefing here at the office. They use in Phoenix, Arizona Remember your exorcist so we got to get those demons and then it begins This woman's name is Gina It's her first exorcism the girls armed with crosses Bibles and holy water summon the demon within her

And then the demon apparently takes over Gina's body and speaks How do you actually know whether somebody is demonically possessed usually when you look in their eyes and the demons up You can see that evil staring back at you As the girls explain it there are many different types of demons. Hey, there's hate murder Anger all of those are very violent demons Look at what happens at the climax of Gina's exorcism. It takes four men to hold her back This can be dangerous work. The Christian life is risky This is a big old fat pepper of a woman by the way, yeah, she was pretty fucking big

She's she's rolling around like a fucking elk enough to like fighting an alligator In many ways quite normal and likable by the way all of the people that are possessed Either middle-aged white women or gay teenagers But they also don't cut to her like later on and being like she's like I've been to nine Exorcists like that one woman that like this short woman with a short blonde hair It's like I have been to lots of them and I know for a fact that I have a demon inside of me It talks to me. It talks to me. It's just like these are people desperate for attention right so desperate in need of like

Someone coming and paying attention to them and acting like it's like you know how many times you ever been on the train Like I like I happened to me yesterday. I was on the train yesterday, and you just some dude sitting there going Man some people yeah, this is it. It's like god damn Some people man and like staring at you like that I contact at you just being like Yeah, people man. You're gonna get the demon out of that guy Henry. Yeah, but these are just like don't do not be scared I'm a demon hunter. Yeah, it's like I am a demon hunter, and then he's like a suck ya dick interesting unpredictable But no, it's it's The need but you know sitting at the point about how much she paid to do that

She got she paid like 550 bucks to get that no shit Yeah, and then and then these just like that's what he said He's like so how much per session they charge like well 500 something dollars It's worth it, and then it cuts to him going like you know some people definitely need more than one Exorcism treatment more than one extreme treatment. It's not gonna get rid of the ghost So it's a great come back three or four times. Yeah, it's a great business plan. You tell you you make a crack dealer You're a crack dealer right and yeah, yeah, I mean I agree. They probably just go there It's fun counsel and if you are

Believed of a demon inside of you demons get respect and it's probably the most respect they get in their entire life is when people are treating them with a calm voice and And treating them as if they have some power. I I also think that if they're Part of me does truly believe in the idea of the dark elemental side of life, you know I'm not there and then you know your own personal will can change reality You know like what we talked about with the power of Satan himself our Lord and Master and how they'll say that using Hail Satan And that if you use Ritual behavior and symbols that are important to humans since the beginning of time right they become that either come from our

Alien forefathers or are just a part of like You know a sort of collective unconscious and exist in the entire universe Ba-ba-ba, I believe in all that but a 55 year old woman is just not gonna get possessed by a demon and a 17-year-old set of hot triplets triplets are not gonna get it out They're not gonna come in there cuz that's a big thing is like shows the beginning of them They're like they're like trained in karate and they're doing all the stuff and also the very end of that clip It's just like and they're recently in talks for their new reality television show, but what it's like that's all for it Yeah, that's great. I'm gonna watch it

Yeah, it's really great the whole storyline of the reality television shows also built into the thing they get the case They have the they have their pow wow at their headquarters They go and then it's just like oh this is a lot more difficult than we thought it was Then they confirm with papa and he tells them of an old story of when glass I'm he did an exorcism And then they go back and they get rid of it every time. I love it Well, that's just sounds like a some really good reality television programs It does I want to see these goddamn demons get cast out of fat chicks and by the way I got that uh, I got that video from a website called it's a it's called on knees for Jesus

Jesus and here's what an unfortunate title. Oh, yeah, and especially because the the graphic that they use is Obscured in such a way. It's a little boy On his knees with his face in Jesus's lap. Of course. It looks like it looks like he's given a blowy Pretty it's pretty if you want to be close to the man himself, then you know, they say him this Fastest way to a man's heart is by sucking his penis. I've heard that. I've actually heard that Here's the this woman. It says she has a plea It says don't let Satan win with his financial attacks on me I put in a lot of time to run this blog so any extra change will be really helpful for me

You can donate safely via PayPal Come on Demon was real. I want a real demon to show up and fucking Murder these people. It would be great. Can you imagine just think about it? They're 55 year old woman. It's that it's that same. It's like that horror movie scenario And they'll show up all plucky and stuff with your reality crew It's like we're gonna get rid of this demon and he's just the old lady. She's sitting there like breathing like calmly just And they're just like we cast you out demon and she's like

And like head rips back and I look back at that Splits a fucking giant like shiny like onyx, right like massive like Undescribable evil fucking tornado comes out of it and it looks at them And they're like and then just you watch their fucking intestine shoot out of their tits, right? Like blood everywhere, you know, just like you see them like slowly burn from the inside like Yeah, I was thinking they were gonna fall in love They just cut to the priest and he's just like I'm gonna need a bigger cross They always thinking they were all gonna fall in love and being some sort of like trans species

No, like if they suck like a man's dick like If you if you promised to worship the demon no incestuous type thing where all everyone gets all Well, the only person who knew how to properly make a relationship with a demon was Barack Obama now. He's president. We see that By the way, Barack Obama, I have found out the Barack Obama is possessed by homosexual. I've heard this Oh, I didn't know that. Uh-huh interesting. Yeah, he's turning children gay him and John Travolta. Yeah, true about Travolta Anything else here in your papers in your documents? Well, I just wanted to do um Oh, we don't have the um, what are we looking for here summoning spell and I have the summoning spell I hear a summoning spell now. So are we close to ending? Yes

Let's give it a summoning spell and hopefully we should probably close it out and try and do summon one of our favorite demons Yeah, definitely. And what is our probably Ozzy modus? We want Ozzy modus over here. Yeah, Ozzy modus. Ozmodeus. Ozmodeus Do you want to you need beforehand? Let's see here. What we need the liver of a dead fish some Satan I wish you well Please take care of me. You are so swell. They're a Satan How I love you Done see we need incense a black candle. I got that blue is also fine

Got it and a paper containing our demon sigil Got it. What does it look like? I don't know. You just kind of have to man. We didn't do this, right? No, we didn't nail it, but I got every I got everything you just said. Yeah It's still spooky-coo-key Maybe we'll put some evil music on underneath this like yeah, yeah, yeah, I got something All right, here's the prayer. All right Lord Satan Lord Satan by your grace Grant me I pray thee the power to it conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do the In which I would attain by thy help. Oh mighty Satan. Oh mighty Satan the one true God who livest and reignest forever and ever

I entreat thee to inspire as As modious to manifest before me that he may give me true and faithful answer so that I may Accomplish my desired end Provided that it is proper to his office this I respectfully and humbly ask in your name Lord Satan Lord Satan May you deem me worthy father Yeah, dude, and that came cool. That was a part of I think that was a part of an official demon-envoking ceremony That you can you can read that neck hey, and you can find that at angelfire.com slash empire slash Serpentis 666 666 slash demon allotry, you know, it's really html

Is that I do trust it coming from an angel fire website? Like it's from back when the internet was truly pure Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and there was no misinformation back then. I love it. Well, I think that's great We got a demon here in the room. Yeah, I feel very nervous. I feel nothing I don't feel the demon. We didn't do it right now. We needed it like we also needed like a mirror We need a lot to share a mirror. Yeah, I would yeah, cuz it's like we got to really do it though at some point I want to invoke the demon. I want to meet one I know I feel like we could have faked it, but then that wouldn't be real no no no no no wow

As modious is actually one of the main ones as modious told Solomon So ask me not many things for thy kingdom also after a little time is to be disrupted and thy glory is But for a season and short will be thy tyranny over us Demons are immortal a season is but a few thousand years to them the Christian God is losing power Father Satan has informed me that our side has won We warn everyone using the spiritually abusive methods of the old grim wars is not only foolish But will inevitably result result in personal disaster the demons must always be approached with extreme honesty and respect The days of using enemy God names nine foot circles threats and other destructive and abusive methods are over

Don't say you weren't warned Interesting I would respect a demon. Yeah, you have no choice I just hate how the more serious we have to get into Satanism the more we sound like idiots from like Dungeons and Dragons land Yeah, I just wish we need to make that's why we're gonna bring Satanism to the common man Yeah, to now to modern time to these days. Yeah, that's wonderful. They're gonna love it They are gonna love it Yeah, cuz I don't very funny and it's gonna be very fun And yeah good music and it's gonna be good food and everyone's gonna have a good time

Yeah, was that you sung a song earlier? Was that a sample of the future music? Yeah. Well, no, no, it'll be more guitars Lots of tambourine yeah, cuz tambourine scares angels I think this is how Charles Manson got those chicks to murder for Get out. Get out here angel. Don't come back. No angel. Don't walk your angel Don't you come back. I'm back to the devil Get out angel get out angel. Don't you be in my house now I like that song. Get out angel. Come on angel. Be brave. I'm a tambourine. Hail Satan. Hail Satan. That was great All right, and this is the moment that a movement was born

Yeah Can we go to Lations? We're gonna go to Lations.