Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 470: Karla Homolka & Paul Bernardo Part I - Coroners, Coffins and Crabs

Episode Date: October 15, 2021

This week we begin our series on the so-called "Ken and Barbie Killers" Karla Homolka and Paul Bernardo — two Canadian sexual sadist psychopaths who were together responsible for the deaths of three teenage girls in Ontario during the early nineties.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Marcus, honestly, because all this does pertain to you. Okay. Like you've had long term relationships before. Sure. What is it? If you guys sat as a couple and have talked about what crime the other person would be willing to cover for for the other person. Bank robbery. Yes, immediately bank robbery. Jewel thief. That makes sense. Yes.

Broadway. The stealer. Because that benefits you. The stealer of Broadway tickets to Phantom of the Opera. I mean, because if you get two, orchestra streets, orchestra seats, you're making money. There you go. I would say justifiable homicide that I might go to prison for. If there's a question as to like if it's kind of like iffy, like, well, you might go to prison for that. I don't know. Yeah, she'd cover for that. Natalie said the main thing she'll cover for me for is accidental death.

If it's truly a fuck up. Well, then you don't go to jail for accidental death. You do, though. Yeah. Involuntary manslaughter. Yeah, bro. You go to jail. You go to jail for it. And she said that's the one thing she's willing to truly cover up for. And instead of. Well, you just let it. We're not going to go like our way. I'm just saying. International. Money crimes. I just wouldn't. International. Money crimes.

I don't bring her in. Okay. Yeah. This is good. Because I don't want to make her. Yeah, she needs plausible deniability. But on the other hand, she's also your wife and she cannot test to be forced to testify against you. Yes. That's how you do that. What you do, man. That's how you get that shit fucking done, bro. You know that you guys beat the system. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Henry and hanging out with Marcus today's.

So I know it's not Valentine's Day. It is the opposite of Valentine's Day. This couple examples exemplifies everything that honestly is technically. You know what? I'm wrong. It does exemplify Valentine's Day because Valentine's Day is the thing that's wrong. I think Valentine's Day is the shitty part of this. Yeah. So today we are covering the wonderful love affair between Carla Hamulka and Paul Bernardo.

Say it correct, Bernardo. And I do have to warn everyone, all levity is out of the room now. Because this story is so frickin' disgusting. This is a gold star painted and dipped in gold. This is so nasty, dude. It goes in and out because when it comes down to it. That's a horrible way to say what we're about to talk about. Do we need to warn our audience about love?

Garden out and fall. And are there a Canadian pair? A superstars. Oh my gosh. Carla Hamulka and Paul Bernardo, a.k.a. the Barbie and Ken Killers, were two sexually sadistic, psychopathic Canadians who were together responsible for the deaths of three teenage girls in Ontario during the early 90s.

Oh, Ontario. My question too is, and I'm going to push back immediately, I mostly see in popular nomenclature Ken and Barbie. Ah, Barbie. I like Barbie and Ken. I like Barbie and Ken. Because I am a feminist. Oh, what is this about?

No, I'm not going to be one of those guys. I'm not going to be one of those guys. I swear to God, I'm not going to be one of those guys. No, but Marcus will teach you guitar. He will teach you about veganism. If she really is the Barbie of serial killers, point, she can't even walk. They've figured out Barbie, the dimensions of Barbie is impossible.

She cannot move. She is bed ridden. She is Terry Shiveau. Is that your dream woman? They meant everybody with silicone implants. I'm sorry, ladies, but everybody wishes for a woman with a seven inch waist. So there's no organs get in there. Oh, God, those pesky, unsexy organs.

Paul Bernardo alone, however, had his own nickname before he even hooked up with Carla. He was known as the Scarborough Rapist. And from 1987 to 1990, he raped at least 13 teenage girls near bus stops in highly violent snatch and grab scenarios. Oh, that's how he got the nickname. Yeah, I thought it was just because he was brutal at Monopoly. Yeah, no, or he did something wrong to Joe Scarborough.

No, no, not right. No, no, it's a disgusting scene that I didn't like. Morning, Joe, it's been a rough night together. Carla and Paul would also repeatedly abuse teenage girls that they didn't kill, drugging them and, in many cases, videotaping their crimes for later viewing. In their most well known crime, Paul and Carla abused and accidentally killed Carla's 15 year old sister. I will get some quotation marks on accidentally,

because I still feel like the jury is still out on whether or not it was highly accidental. But this is going to be an ongoing conversation that we're going to have as we cover this story, because it really is about that. Because you're going to go into a launch and do an argument here about Paul Bernardo, which I think is interesting. But it's also it's weird because you wonder, like, is murder the goal or is murder a happy accident for the sadist? Certainly could have been avoided if they didn't do anything

that led up to that person, air quotes, accidentally dying. You talking about Amway? Because that is what started it all. Now, I know our Canadian listeners are getting excited here, because the Hamulka... Oh, you old bitch, you're ready to go there. Because the Hamulka Bernardo case is quite possibly the most well known and most debated true crime case in Canadian history.

And let me tell you what you're doing here wrong here. No, my main thing is you're trying to talk about Carla Hamulka, but I know for a fact she's starting to get out of prison, and we all know that. And if anybody thinks differently, they can go, Saka Gopher. I'm getting triggered. I'll never forget the last time we were in Canada, and I was talking to Travis Morningstar, and I was like,

man, they apologize a lot here. And as I said that, a bus rolled by that just said, sorry. And it's like, I don't... I don't... This isn't fucking Kars. This is in a Pixar movie. But sometimes a Canadian does need to apologize, and perhaps that's who we're talking about here.

Yes. And also Canadians aren't polite, they're passive aggressive. We'll get to that in a second. You guys know this about yourselves. And you know, there is good reason why people just can't stop talking about Paul and Carla. See, these two committed quite a few of their crimes together, but because people can be a little sexist when it comes to crime, there are many who still believe that Carla was nothing more than another victim of her husband, Paul.

Whoa, are you saying that Carla's a hashtag girl boss? But we hear it last podcast. Do not subscribe to this view. To that point, I think it's somewhat of a misnomer to say that Carla and Paul were serial killers, because killing was not a part of Paul's paraphernalia, like it was for someone like Dennis Rader or Ted Bundy. Instead, I think it's more accurate to call Carla and Paul psychopathic sexual sadists. And Jesus, to be honest, it's a long title.

Well, it is scarier than serial killers. Yeah. And during the course of their sexual crimes, they accidentally killed three girls. By way of explanation, their sexual sadism was so intense that they just didn't care whether their victims lived or died, because sometimes they did live. And they were so in the throes of their paraphernalia at the time that they were doing it. They weren't even really thinking about the end result. Can we give a clarification to the term paraphernalia?

Paraphernalia is fetish. It is a fetish outside of what is quote unquote normal sexual behavior. And these guys are not normal in any way, shape, or form. But I also believe- And what is normal, Henry? The way that he licks his wife's feet before she goes to bed every night? Hey, man, she's got to go to sleep. Because if not, all she does is kick and kick and kick and kick.

Henry, come and play, dog. Don't fucking- why are you giving my beautiful model wife the voice of a bent over crone woman that looks for, like, roadkill? Like, she's a- she's a model. It's Henry, will you lick my feet before I go to sleep? And I say yes. But it is weird because I feel that Paul and Carla were cut off by Carla for their soon-to-be future as serial killers.

I think that as time goes, as what we will show, is that they were getting really used to the idea of killing people. And they were escalating and escalating and escalating. After years of one person escalating, Carla, Carla joining up with Paul, them starting a whole new sexual game together. And I think that if Carla decided to not pull the plug, they would have went on to kill many, many more people. Just sounds like this is the worst third wheel situation ever.

What do you mean, like, if you're- To be the victim. You're just like, this is so annoying. You guys are together, and then why am I here? It's awkward. But really, the act of extreme sexual sadism was more Paul Bernardo's thing. This is a very complicated relationship. Carla, on the other hand, was a hybristophiliac.

Interesting. Meaning that she was sexually attracted to men who commit crimes. Hybristophilia. That's what it is. Okay, cool. Interesting. I've never heard that term before. Yeah.

Oh, no, we talked about it in the women who love serial killers episode. So you did like it five years ago. You did like it five years ago. Five years ago, you heard about it. And in Carla's case, she was specifically attracted to a man who committed sexual crimes. Behold their dog meat. That's only if you believe every single word that she's ever said

and every single thing that she's ever done. But not if you listen to what the court said about her. Carla was just a, she was just there, right? She was like the butler who always get blamed. You know why the butler gets blamed? Why? Because people are against essential workers in this country. I completely agree with you.

And people are afraid of the working class rising up against the masters, which is why we jailed the butlers. Very true. I agree with you. I agree with you. Well, basically what all this means is that Paul committed his crimes because he had a compulsion to do so. He had an uncontrollable urge.

Conversely, Carla participated in these crimes because it made her horny. And she had no qualms about the consequences because she is undoubtedly a psychopath without an inkling of conscience. I would put her as the Tanya Harding of Ciro Killers. Same hairstyle. Interesting. Bulldog of the ice.

I think I get a good heart though, honestly. Tanya had a winner's heart, which doesn't make you necessarily good nor bad. It just makes you a winner. It's like Michael Jordan, you look at him, right? Like, is he a nice man? No. Is the ultimate champion? Yes.

That's fine. He's fine. He's a goat. Yeah. I mean, really, if you want to know what Carla Hamulka looks like, if you're a Love After Lockup fan, she looks like a prettier version of Tracy, of Clint and Tracy. Wow.

Very specific reference. Yeah. I love it. She does look like the very famous term. She does look like a hog with a perm. A little bit. She's got big Canadian hair. Her hair is, I could tell she's Canadian by the haircut.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure, it's a beautiful hairstyle. It's not. But I mean, it's not. You can't, don't defend Carla. I'm defending the hairstyle. I'm defending hairstyles to be fair, to be fair.

But the moment Paul's homicidal tendencies began to turn in Carla's direction, she detached from the relationship immediately and very quickly painted herself as a victim who was forced to participate in these crimes by quite possibly the worst Canadian to ever exist. Wow. That's big. Let's say the worst Canadian.

Because Robert Pickton, right, that was probably the other worst quote unquote Canadian to ever live, right? But then Robert Pickton also had like a system of dudes were all with him. It was like an environment that they had created. And in a way, they were doing things. And then they also viewed it as body disposal, all the horrible things they did. And that was because they were so,

what we cover a lot of times in the last podcast and left, they were so simple minded, they became evil. Like it went all the way around. Well, Paul Bernardo is the Ted Bundy of Canada. He is the person is he is a highly adaptable and able psychopath. But he's also very fucking stupid. So he has these like animal instincts that allow him to do certain things very well,

like manipulate people and shit. But it really comes down to brass tacks. He's a fucking moron. Wow. So we're thinking Bernardo, Pickton, and then Terrio. Rock Terrio was. Oh, yeah. That's right.

Then we got rocked. We got Rock Terrio, the worst Canadian. And Mark Twichel. Oh, Twichel. Twichel, man. Yeah, he is. You know, I feel like actually, Twichel is owned to entertainment.

Yes. He doesn't know territory. And he's not even the worst director. You got Roman Blyanski. But yeah. Well, speaking of Canada. That's for the audience. Pickton, Terrio.

Yeah, you do. You kick that around. Remember, not a few sports. Yeah, talk about it amongst yourselves. But speaking of Canada, again, like the Robert Pickton case, we're really going to try our hardest to not rip on our friends to the north too much. You know, they're just, they're just like,

what's the word we'd use? I am going to use a couple of words here in a second. And after reading this story and comparing it to other Canadian true crime stories, I'm sorry. But I just about come to the conclusion that Canadian cops are the laziest, most incompetent police force in the Western world. Or at the very least, they're definitely the most naive.

They're just so polite. They're so polite that even if you've murdered somebody, they don't want to ruin your day. Like even if you've done horrendous crimes, they're not trying to hassle you. Like it's that view. It's that thing. I mean, we're not trying to bother you.

You're not trying to get you out of sorts here, but we're trying to do an investigation that I don't know how to say this together, but you're like the center of it. You know, you're like all the evidence is pointing to you there about like the jelly. And I don't remember. Oh, that's like the jelly in the donut.

Bob, that's so appropriate. Yes, you're the jelly. We're the doughnut pastry, right? And I mean, a lot of the jelly is blood, apparently. No, I don't think they're polite. I think they're just looking for any excuse to not get off their ass and do some work. God, I mean, I just don't want to get pulled over

by a Canadian cop when we go back there on top. Seriously, I want nothing to do with law enforcement in any capacity. I do want to say this though. I just mean, if they heard this episode and then we get fucking wailed on, I also think because if we get caught by a Canadian cop, they're just going to let us go because they don't do their jobs.

Well, that's possible. That's possible. But maybe they don't want to get off their tucus because they're too busy watching iconic comedy, such as Strange Brew or watching John Candy or Martin Moll or... Kids in the house. Martin Moll.

How can you do your cop work when you got Martin Moll right there on the TV? You got Martin Moll or Jerry Ryan Stiles. Ryan Stiles is in my neighborhood. You mean to tell me I got to be a cop right now? I'm going over to Ryan's house and saying, surfboard, pastry shop. Just see what he does.

And he does make stuff up. Oh yeah, as far as comedy goes, Canadians are tops, man. They're fucking amazing. But as far as investigation goes, they just don't seem to have the drive necessary to solve crimes. This is an example. I was watching a documentary about Paul Bernardo and one of the investigators of this,

one of the main investigators, his thing that he kept saying was like, you know what we had here for a period of time in Toronto was a pouncer. Paul Bernardo was a pouncer. He's the thing, you're out there and you don't care what kind of woman you are. Like, you don't know if you're a regular woman

or a hot woman, right? You're walking down the street. Paul Bernardo, he's got a pounce on you and we got a serial pouncest. A pouncer. He kept saying the word pouncer and I was like, the word is rape. A pouncer.

Like the word is, he's a serial rapist. Rapist is a very easy word to say. You're trying to make it cute. You're trying to make it cute. It's not cute. Pouncer sounds like someone who dresses like a stuffed tiger who hides behind bushes and jumps up. And rapes people?

No. He says, rar. That would be scary. Pouncer. That's rape. That's what he would say. I see. Tone of the tiger.

Yes, I see it. I see it. Very great. Thank you, Henry. Just you. 15 seconds free speech jail. I was just out. You know.

I just fell in the air. I got a hamburger. Back in. Back in, boy. We're going to be giving you a cup of water in an hour and a half. All right. Let's speak into that naivete of the Canadian police force.

I get that Canada is nowhere near as violent of a country as America. It's a third as violent. I was looking up the murder rates and we have three times the murder rates. Yeah. Even by I mean, is that even by capita? It's like it's like per 100,000 people.

And I understand that it can be hard to wrap your head around the monstrosity of people like Carla Hamulca and Paul Bernardo. But had the cops in this case not been so lazy because lazy is the only way to describe it. And I will prove that point throughout at least this episode. Three teenage girls would still be alive and nearly a dozen teenage girls would never

have had to suffer at the hands of Paul Bernardo. Now, speaking of which, we're going to be talking a lot about sexual assault in this series, specifically in the first episode. And while I'd say that this is something we've never really done before, that's not entirely accurate. We've talked about rape quite a bit over the last 10 years and we in fact talked about it in our last heavy hitter series.

The difference is that usually the woman dies at the end. And in the world of true crime, I think that oddly makes it easier to talk about because there isn't a survivor. See, if a victim is dead, they can be spoken of in the grandest terms. For example, if you've watched any true crime documentaries, especially recent ones, dead victims effectively become saints or martyrs.

Well, I've never seen a modern true crime documentary that doesn't say that like Jennifer loves to laugh. And like that type of thing where it's been like, well, good thing is not me because I hate to laugh. Absolutely. But again, that is a positive step forward, I think. Because, you know, we used to never mention the victims. And so mentioning victims is very important to remember

these are human beings. Absolutely. But survivors make people uncomfortable, as I'm sure many survivors and listening right now can attest to. See, survival is messy and difficult and more than anything frighteningly relatable. None of us know what death is like,

but many of us know trauma. And facing the survival of others makes us face our own traumas and fears in a way that facing the murder of a stranger doesn't. Also really coming to terms with the fact that the victims of sexual assault pan out from the main victim. Because then it's what it does. It's the reverberation effect of how it affects everybody

in that person's life. And it's just causing more and more trauma. And I don't know how to even put it like just do everything that's bad. Yeah, absolutely. So while we will treat the survivors of these crimes with the utmost respect, we also aren't going to shy away from the reality of these crimes any more than we do

when the woman dies at the end. Therefore, fair warning, some of the crimes we discuss on this series might make you more uncomfortable than usual. It's going to get bad at one point or another. Many times it's going to get bad. But before we get into the story, let's acknowledge our sources today. The first and main source is Invisible Darkness

by Stephen Williams. The second, which also has a terrible title, is the lethal one. You like Invisible Darkness? It's all like this. Because then it's the same type of name as the fucking new metal band I was in in fucking high school. Unspoken Silence. Unspoken Silence.

It makes no sense. It makes no sense. Invisible Darkness also makes no sense. Darkness is darkness. It's not invisible. It makes no sense. It makes no sense. Oh, right.

The second one is Lethal Marriage by Nick Pran. That should be... Lethal Marriage means you kill each other. Yeah. You don't kill other people. I've also been reading a book called Deadly Innocence by Scott Burnside and Alan Keynes. And the reason why we're doing this is because

each one of these books has a different perspective. Invisible Darkness is probably the one that is the most neutral. Balance. We're balanced. I would say. It's why we're using it as our main source, because it's very balanced. There's got a lot of factoids in it, and there is stuff in it.

So it does create a timeline. Lethal Marriage is the one that says, Paul Bernardo did everything. Carla Homulka is a victim. And then there's another book that I'm reading that is called... And then the book I'm reading is all about Deadly Innocence, which is what Paul Bernardo said about himself and included in his rap lyrics.

Yes, we will get to his rap career. It is about more so how Carla is really involved in the crimes. So we're kind of seeing where... Because the goal is, as we go through the series, is really sit and what's our opinion about whether or not Carla was involved. I mean, you've already heard it. Yeah, we established that shit right up top.

Now, calling Paul and Carla the Kin and Barbie Killers is fairly accurate when it comes to Paul, because in addition to being charming and good-looking, he was also a wannabe yuppie, the kind obsessed with Gordon Gekko from Wall Street. Quite simply, he was an enormously shallow monster. He was... every single bad stereotype that you see about a finance, bro, is Paul Bernardo.

Bro, look at this super-tidy phone. Opens up, it's the size of a small car. Look at this thing, man. Look how convenient this is. I can drive it. I can take the phone directly to the burger man, because we can't legally say Burger King. I could kill somebody with this.

But from what I can tell, Carla was actually more of a goth kid. She was a punky, pathetic edge lord who would read excerpts from American Psycho out loud to her coworkers just to get her eyes out of them. Fuck yeah, man. What are you gonna do, man? Why do y'all got a door, bro? That's pretty cool, dude.

You're working in Hollywood video. All of a sudden, Carla comes over, starts reading American Psycho. Yeah, it's... all right. Again, in the beginning, it was all cool. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I mean, you put these two together and you've got a single Israel Keys

in terms of forced edginess. Carla is like, if there was a Wednesday, Adams, what if there was a Thursday, Adams? That's how I would put her, where she is like, she's not all the way there. She is the fucking store brand version of a goth. She is desperate for an identity. But the one thing that she always is,

same thing with Paul Bernardo, straight out the fucking pussy. Both of them are maniacal fucking goblins. And Carla Homulka was a fucking immediately came out as this strident, very intense troublemaker. Okay. Yeah. So let's start with Carla Homulka. Carla was born the eldest of three children in a small Ontarian city named St. Catharines. Her mother was a housewife named Dorothy,

and her father was a traveling salesman named Carl. Carol, Carol. And he was from the old world. Yeah. Carol was a fr... I forget where he was from in Europe. He was... he's one of those guys, but he's a... Eastern Europe, I think it was Czech Republic.

Yeah, you can just see this. I can just see him. He just got home, he put down his briefcase. You can see all the poutine leaking out the sides of it. And you'd be like, how was it today? Did you sell the poutine? No, they need a gravy guard. You need a gravy guard?

And he comes down when they bring the suitcase out and know the gravy is because of the size. Ever since then, like, he comes to a meeting with no gravy guard. I know. I know. It's not easy to ship around poutine. I shouldn't put it in plastic box. Yes.

Now, Carla was a precocious child who talked early and walked early. Highly intelligent. She had an IQ of 131. Wow. According to a former teacher, she was eager and enthusiastic in school, great at language arts, but terrible at math and science.

Like me? Just like, honestly, like all of us. Like all three of us, yeah. Carla also had a dark side, which showed itself at a very early age. A childhood friend named Rinnia, who spoke to the author of Legal Marriage, told a story about how Carla was responsible

for the death of her beloved pet hamster, George. George. Boreboard George. George is a... I don't know why for a hamster, it's definitely a hamster that's going to have a fucking bad end. George the hamster?

Something like when you give like George the hamster, it's been like, oh yeah, he was definitely put up the ass of an actor. Or it's like you're looking like, oh, George, he's been the last of his days in the colon of fucking Michael Richards. I feel like George the hamster belongs in like, what is it? Imagination land?

Yeah. From Mr. Rogers. I feel like George the hamster is a Mr. Royal. You've been bringing up Mr. Rogers' imagination world a lot. Isn't that the kingdom of... Isn't that the kingdom of King Friday?

Yeah, kingdom of King Friday, but I think they call it imagination land. Imagination land. I was too busy being raised by the streets. No, you were not. You were raised by the treats. Yeah. I hate you.

I hate you. I hate you. Yeah. Woo. Woo. Oh, woo. They said I would never gain weight. That's why they fed me so much.

You shot them. Well, one day, while the two kids were playing at Renia's house, Carla got the idea to construct a makeshift parachute out of a pillowcase to see if George could fly. Do you think that I can fly? This is like, it's from the good son.

Yeah. Yeah. So against her friend's wishes, Carla tossed the hamster attached to her ill-constructed apparatus out of a second-story window. Well, maybe Carla, maybe we should train it or like try it on like kind of a smaller height.

No, no, it don't matter unless we go for 110%. She just fucking Tom Brady's that thing off a balcony just being like, he goes with God now. And it did work for a second. Oh, yes, sir, that hesitation would be like, oh, look at George is like, oh, this is actually kind of blue.

I can see all the trees. Like you were like, like half. Like a little microsecond. But then the pillowcase soon gave way to the wind and George plummeted to his doom. It took him two weeks to die. What do you mean? It took him two weeks.

What did they do with them? They fucked. I guess they put him on a ventilator. I don't know what the hell you do with a hamster that's whole innards or crushes. Because also for two weeks, you just let it twitch. At least they tried to save it, I guess. No, man, there is no saving it.

It's just guts. You just have to fucking... I don't know what you do with it. It was kind of a creative. Many people have had experiences like this and they've become doctors. Yeah, yeah. This is just creative in a way.

What is this, the 80s? No, this is the 60s, late 60s, early 70s. It's no way any better, I'm gonna give her a small pass. Now, I mean, this sort of shit happens all the time with kids. Yeah, yeah, this is just one of those. It's more about her reaction. Yeah, yeah, it's usually followed with remorse. But Karla, according to Rinnia, felt nothing but pure joy.

Joy. Yay! That's a weird one. As soon as it plummeted to the ground, she's like, got him. That's the strange part. Yes! Got it. Gravity wins again.

To make matters worse, Karla made her friend dig up the corpse of the hamster weeks later so Karla could fiddle with the remains. That's what's weird. Yeah, she's starting to get weird. And this is also, in the meantime, I also picked up, she used to do this thing with her girlfriends, which she was in high school, called sogging,

which stands for searching out gorgeous guys, whether you would drive around and look for dudes, and stuff like that. And I was like, so she was doing this in the middle of this. You're allowed to do this. It's so funny, it's just the term sogging. I definitely thought it was involving something different. Oh yeah, I definitely thought it was soaking a mitten in rum

and putting it up her pussy, yes. Well, that's in high school. Right now, we're still in her fucking childhood. And even outside of Karla's casual disregard for life, she was a particularly cruel bully. In another story from Rinnia, Karla ripped on a handicap girl with deformed arms in front of a bunch of other kids.

Oh, how presidential. The little girl had been wheeled out to watch the other kids play baseball, and when Karla spotted the girl, she walked up to the girl's brother, and without provocation, yelled that his sister was a creepy looking freak. She's a creepy looking freak. Jesus.

She then took it further, slapping her arms together like a seal and making noises, saying, quote, Seal arms, seal arms, your sister's got seal arms. Leave her alone, come on. And this, of course, got most of the other kids clapping and laughing. Humor has changed. Yeah, I mean, not on the playground. But Rinnia was again mortified.

But Rinnia's story is something that we'll see again and again with both Karla and Paul. Despite the fact that they were obviously awful people, their friends kept hanging out with them no matter what they did or how they acted for reasons that I cannot fathom. Seriously, do they have a freaking Sega Genesis before everyone? Like, did they have something that was super cool they liked to play with? You don't remember as kids, especially as little kids,

like proximity builds up most of your relationship whoever's fucking near you, right? So you become, you have like these like little kid bonds that start when you're really young and you grow up with somebody and I don't think that they realize like, at the time too, we viewed kids as like little robots. You know what I mean? We don't even really like, I don't even,

especially like our time period, I guess, like growing up in the 80s. Tell us about, tell us about children, Henry. Just, I'm just saying that like, they viewed them as like, not having personalities that were going to go anywhere, I think. And then you don't understand that these little seeds of behavior become like permanent. Like it does happen, especially if you don't get immediately checked or somebody does some, or you learn independently

that you're hurting people. Yeah. And you know, and really what the reason why I'm bringing this up is that this is a microcosm of a larger problem that continues into adulthood, where even after Paul, like, even after he was being suspected of being the Scarborough rapist, his friends are like, hey, Paul, I heard you're the rapist.

And they're laughing at each other. That's the anyway that's going to be the boss. No, yes. Like don't care. They just don't, maybe it's like a cultural thing, like a Canadian cultural thing, where if you're friends with someone, you're friends with someone no matter what.

I don't know. I just also, it's bro dudes, it's bro dudes being bro dudes for forever. Like it is a thing where people are willing to look over, these types of like, obviously look over crimes, because again, you know, this is a time period where they, you have to consider a woman to be a person first. Yeah.

In order to consider it to be a crime. Those guys all became absolute misogynist piece of shit. And they were like this since they were little kids. Okay. Yep. Now concerning Carla's upbringing, it was decidedly middle class. She was raised in a house with a pool.

And from what she later said, her parents were always supportive and understanding. But since her father was always gone for his traveling salesman gigs, she developed a hatred for Carol instead of a longing. She became obsessed with the play Death of a Salesman and would do weird impressions of her father that combined Willie Lohman

with the wild and crazy guy from the Saturday Night Live. I don't even know how you do that. That's a very sad play. That's, that's Canadian creativity. It's attention must be paid. I remember that line where she screams that about because Willie Lohman just died, but it's all about him slowly committing suicide

by sucking gas out of the burrow. Burrow in the basement. And then you come in like, I gotta move this poutine. And then you come in there going like, I'm a wild and suicidal guy. That would make it kind of crazy though, wouldn't it? But Carol had his own secrets.

He had a reputation for trying to sleep with women outside of his marriage, but failing every time. Why is that just the most Canadian thing? Like this idea of like, I'm trying to have an affair here. I'm trying. No, you don't understand.

I'm talking to you, but I'm trying to have an affair here. I'm trying here. Like, hey, listen. All right, now what you gotta do here is what you gotta do is sleep with me instead of not sleeping with me so that I can be actively cheating on my wife.

Okay, okay. Okay. Well, at one business where he hawked his wares, he was known as the pervert. And he told a woman who worked there that she could save his marriage if she just had a threesome with Carol and his wife. Just have a threesome with me and my wife,

and then you'll save our marriage. Do me a favor. You see, as you can see, I'm absolutely covered in craving. Right, right, yeah. This is anything, when it comes down to it, I need a sponge and I need a reach out. This is a Hail Mary here. Yeah, it is.

Do you want to have a threesome with me and your wife? Is that it? I've got to have it. Okay. And honestly, we can even call it a foursome if you want to include God into the occasion. Sure. Because then we come to the end.

And the booty, no. The booty is the business. I never mixed anything with Asia. Okay. Let's call your wife then. See if she wants to do this. Well, why don't we vote? I'm gonna have sex with your wife and you,

so I would like to know her, so. The whole thing is that I have to pre-sex you as an interview before we can introduce you into the world. Just give me the poutine to get out of my house, okay? I'm gonna make a sale. I'm gonna make a sale. You made a sale. Yes, you did.

Live from your grave. As far as Carla's goth credentials go, she became obsessed with the occult when she was a teenager and she would perform rituals with her Ouija board to contact spirits near that old mainstay of teenager hangouts that railroad tracks outside of town. Cool. Do they have sorry as an option on the Canadian Ouija board?

I don't know if they can. I don't know if they can get through it. Yes, no, and sorry. Interestingly though, Carla was particularly obsessed with Michelle remembers. To refresh your memory from the last episode, this was a book of so-called recovered memories of satanic ritual abuse, none of which was true.

Basically, it was the story of a woman who rewrote her own history. She was just into everything that was dark and edgy and she was trying to show people. She was trying to, which is very classic, she was trying to cultivate personality because as a kid, like all you are is copies of shit that you see.

So you're trying to figure out what sticks. Christopher Columbus rewrote entire swaths of history for hundreds of years. I don't even think. He used to have a day named after him. I don't even think that he needed to do the rewriting. We all did it. Yeah, but just as Carla was getting into the occult,

she naturally started wearing all black clothes and heavy dark makeup, dying her hair wild colors, and carving circles into her skin that she would subsequently fill with nail polish. Look, it's pools. I need your pools. Pool pools, cool. She also started saying weird shit to her friends.

On one occasion, she leaned towards a friend and whispered that she'd like to put dots all over somebody's body, take a knife and play connect the dots, then pour vinegar into the wounds. Whoa, she's crazy. That's just another totally normal thought. She's just being crazy.

But you know, again, it's just her. She's an edged lord. She's just doing it, yeah. She's a poser trying to figure out her shit at the time. None of this makes Carla a criminal any more than doing and saying this shit made Damien Eccles of the West Memphis Three a child killer. Sure.

Kids say and do weird shit. Yeah. But the difference between Carla and Damien is that there would later be mountains of evidence to support Carla's psychopathy. Well, it's just weird to see how you can go from being a goth because none of us believe that goths are evil. For most part, goths are just sad and we just like black.

But the thing about Carla is that it is how she ended up. It does point towards all of this bullshit. I also think oftentimes goths present as sad, but in reality, are quite happy. A lot of times, they're very happy being sad. Yes, I've known a lot of them. Conversely, they're just happy to be sad. Yeah, exactly.

Now, according to Carla's high school boyfriend, Doug, a working class jock, Carla was moody, obsessed with death, and would often threaten to kill herself if she didn't get her way. Hmm. In this, she showed clear signs of borderline personality disorder. Yeah, I hate you. Don't leave me.

Yeah. Scenario. Now, borderline requires quite possibly the most responsibility out of all mental illnesses. It's the cappuccine monkey to bipolar disorder's destructive dog. Oh. Takes a lot of work. That's kind of cute the way you put it.

But it seems like there's a lot of pain in there. Yeah. Oh, there's a ton of pain, but it's kind of like severe depression. It's more like a cat. Like, it's maintenance. You know, you got to take care of it. Bipolar disorder's destructive dog, you got to keep an eye on it. Is your psychiatrist a farmer?

Like, do you sit with somebody who says, does he show you animals? Like, is this the thing that they do? No, no, no, this is just me. This is how I think. Okay, I just didn't know. So the rule is, right now, see, you're a lemur. You're a lemur.

You're a lemur. And what we want to do is get you all the way to a cow. Because no cows are happy. No problems. No, no, no, it's that your bipolar disorder is a lemur and that you want your disorder to be more of a cow. Cow. Oh, yeah.

But that's the thing is that your disorder never changes. It's the same throughout the years. But you know, you can house train a dog, but a catpachine monkey, you got to buy diapers for that. We're trying to buy diapers for our monkey. Or you get a monkey shit room. And if you get a monkey shit room, then your life's in shambles. It looks like you haven't been taking your medication

because now it's a masturbating lemur on the subway. And that's why we're here at Rikers, aren't we, Mr. Parks? How long have you been here, Mr. Parks? Call me Enigma. Well, if kept in check, people with borderline personality disorder can live normal lives. But if it is left untreated, the consequences are dire and explosive, as they were with Carla Hamulca.

So when it came time to graduate, Carla put up a goth front and wrote edgy shit in her friend's yearbooks. But yeah. In one inscription, she wrote, quote, Remember, suicide kicks and fast and is awesome. Born's rule, death kicks. I love death.

Kill the fucking world. I mean, she's still, you can't by definition be that goth and graduate. It's true, yeah. It's like, if you were truly goth, you would have quit school and have become a mortician. Yes. But also it is just, again, with a Canadian accent,

it just takes all the heat off everything. Death, death kicks. Death kicks. Born's rule, guy. Born's rule, there. OK. Born's rule, eh? Well, as far as taste goes, Carla's was actually better

than most of the people we talk about on this show. While Israel Keys was a new metal guy, Carla was a big fan of the Beastie Boys and had a particular love for the Friday the 13th franchise. They're all kind of eventually every serial killer has to like one good song. Yeah, yeah. The Friday the 13th franchise is awesome. Yep.

Yeah. I mean, Carla was the tough kid in her friend group. She was the one who carried around handcuffs and told everyone that she was going to be a cop one day. She was the bad influence who told lies about having sadistic bondage orgies in high school. Now, oddly, despite her past experiences killing defenseless animals,

Carla started a career in the pet industry just before graduating from high school. She got a part time job at a place called number one pet center. Well, she also feel like there is a fascination that is attached to it. Like I don't view her as like having those kinds of like telltale serial killer like McDonald's triad type things, which has been discredited.

Yes. Like, but you know, that idea like she doesn't have certain things like that. But there are because the hamster scenario was, it was more about her fucking weird like metal or like reaction to it. She just kind of got close to the industry of handling pets. To be honest, when I think really came out of it was that she knew it was an easy way to get drugs. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what it turned into. Was a consequence of Carla joining the pet industry. She and her co-worker Debbie were invited to a pet industry convention in Toronto, held at the Howard Johnson's in October of 1987. Not bad. Howard Johnson's, I just saw a thing. We talked about how many ice cream flowers Howard Johnson started out with

because everybody had three flavors of ice cream when they first started. But Howard Johnson's, they really went and made sure that they had many different types of ice cream. The hotel did. Yep. What's a hotel then? A Hojo's is a hotel restaurant. The Hojo's.

Also, can we please go forward and make sure that we know for a fact it's called a Hojo's? Yeah, of course. No, no, no. I just wanted to say Howard Johnson's to begin with and it will be referred to as a Hojo's from here on out. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Over a dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches in the Hojo restaurant, Carla and Debbie were approached by two men in their 20s on the prowl for young girls. And it was here that Carla Hamulka met Paul Bernardo. Over the magical, do you know what they were eating when they met? Grilled cheese sandwiches? Nope.

It was over a endless plate of chicken wings, which actually makes me really mad because it makes chicken wings feature into the story. When I read that factoid saying like, Paul specifically ordered a never ending bucket of chicken wings, which is incredible. It has to. It's incredible.

It always ends. But it's like, I've never heard that. I was like, where is this deal in my life? No, it's incredible. But they wasted it with all of this salt. I'll never forget when I found out that, yeah, all you can eat buffet, you are still your number one enemy. Yeah.

Because you can't eat all you want. You can only eat what your body can hold. And the problem is, you know who the ref is, really? Who? You're DeWodnam. I'm the very end of the top of your log. Oh, it burned test. That's the ref.

He makes the calls. Well, Paul Bernardo. We're getting to Paul now. He was born on August 27th, 1962, with a huge black mark covering the left side of his face that was so terrifying to behold that his mother actually screamed in horror the first time she saw her son.

The devil's mark. But the mark was just a large transient blood clot that faded away after six weeks. OK. Now, when it comes to nature versus nurture, concerning Paul Bernardo, he seemed to have a healthy dose of both in the negative column. His legal father, Ken, was a pedophile and peeping Tom

who molested his own eight-year-old daughter. And that was in addition to being a wife beater. Ken Bernardo was also famous in his neighborhood for wearing a suit while mowing the lawn, right? He was one of these guys that was like. Like Howard Inru. Yes, like very similar. He was one of those guys hyper-buttoned up,

always with the slick hair, suits all the time, emotionally distant, cold man that was like a person who could not be spoken to, did not speak. He did whatever. But then people started noticing footprints outside of their windows at night of the young girls that lived in the various neighborhoods. And then one girl like saw him.

She was like, she was parked with her girlfriend outside of the Bernardo restaurant, out inside of the Bernardo house. They looked and saw, hey man, like it was fucking an old-timey cartoon, come out in his pajamas with hat. You know those pajamas, the hats? Yeah, like they have sleeping cap.

The bell on the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When it comes to them, they watched him sneak out of his own house, literally like look around like he was a cartoon burglar, crawl around the neighborhood house, and they watched him dig down in front of a basement window where they knew one of their girlfriends lived.

And he was watching her get dressed through the basement window. Geez. But lest you think that this sort of behavior was hereditary, Ken Bernardo was not Paul's real father. You are not the father. Oh, wow. Because Ken was such an awful man,

Paul's mother, Marilyn, had an affair with a guy named Bill. And Paul was conceived through this illicit liaison on the day that JFK was shot and killed. Hey, man. That. I would have fucked anybody on 9-11 if they would have me.

Sure, absolutely. Now, from how it sounds, Paul Bernardo was one of those babies that can only be described as a dickhead. He wasn't affectionate at all and was described as naturally selfish and stubborn. But the one word that keeps coming up about him as a baby? Beautiful.

Beautiful, always. He said that Paul Bernardo was one of those hyperangelic babies, born with like a full head of like blonde curls. Jellicle, jellicle, jellicle. Jellicle, baby, angelical babies. And you know what happens? Oh, is that what jellicle is? Is that like, is it just taken off the angelical

and it's angelical cats? But we could do a whole eight-part series on cats. Jellicle. Jellicle cats just always confused me so much. It's because it means nothing. T.S. Eliot, I mean, it's poetry from T.S. Eliot. He was filled with laudanum. He had no fucking clue what he was writing about.

He was just staring at cats and imagining them dancing with T.S., just like Taylor Swift was. Like, he saw that in his own mind back in the day, but then he just wrote poems because he would save the childish cats with T.S. drawings for his family. I mean, even though he was, Paul Bernardo was an angelic baby, he also had a birth defect that fused his tongue to his palate, like webbing on a duck's foot.

And this caused him to communicate in grunts and points for years. But once the webbing was snipped and he was sent to a speech therapist, Paul Bernardo couldn't stop talking. By the time he reached his teenage years, Paul was described as a silver-tongued devil with the girls. Neat, fastidious, and, of course, beautiful. Kids of all ages adored him, and they were drawn to his personality. So much so that his nickname was the King of First Impressions.

Oh, that's what I called my dentist when he made my night guard. Whoa! Come on, fucking hellos. Come here, how are we doing here? Hey, come on. Put this guy out. He's on fire. He's on fire. He's on blaze. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. He's on blaze.

Hell, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. But like Carla, Paul had a dark side. Although comparing Paul's dark side to Carla's is like comparing a shadowy room to the dark side of the fucking moon. Now, like many criminals of his ilk, Paul began with peeping. And while he was caught peeping in his teenage years, he faced no consequences. And then if you watch the movie fucking Porkies,

the main, most of the main plot points peeping. Same thing with fucking the other big famous meatballs. Meatballs had peeping. Revenger the Nerds had peeping. John Belushi movie, that other movie fucking had peep. Animal House had peep. It all had peep. Yeah, that is true.

And it's also, again, we've talked about this. The word peeping is like, I think we did this on side stories about how peeping is should not be the name of the crime. No, it was on the show. It was on the show. We should not call it peeping anymore. But you couldn't come up with a better,

the name that you came up with was cuter than peeping. It was like snurfing or something like that. Snurfing. Yeah. You can't do snurfing. Horny looking. Horny looking, yeah. This is why I'm going to, all of my houses,

if I ever buy a house, I'm going to have them mirrors on the outside. So if you're peeping in, you're going to take a look at yourself. And then you say, do you like what you see in a mirror? Do you like what you see, sir? That's the most passive aggressive home security thing. It's very, again, very connected.

Yeah. Well, Paul then began hoarding underwear ads featuring both prepubescent girls and adult women. And as soon as he was able, he moved on to BDSM porn and found that he was also aroused by watching urination and or defecation. Yeah. He's a poopy man.

Poopy play. He really likes the farts. Yes, indeed. Now, we know that Paul's father was terrible, but his mother also did her part to fuck up her son. When Paul was in 10th grade, his mother, full of anger and with no apparent motive, she stormed into his room, showed him a picture of her lover

Bill and told Paul, this is your real father. You're a bastard and you better get used to it. She's an I will go far as far as to say that his mother was an unpleasant woman. Yeah. She was very, very unpleasant. The worst way to do what she just did there. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. She did it as a blow up of a fight where she decided to do the scorched earth thing to like pull it out because it wasn't even a big fight. No. According to the book, Deadly Innocence, it was just this kind of like building up because he kept getting shorter and shorter and shorter

and kind of meaner like, but in one way, it's like that happens to teenagers. Yeah. Where like they don't, they become ornery because their bodies are changing. But you know, his was far worse because he's a fucking monster, but she fucking did that and then nothing was the same. Yeah.

After she told them that information. Was the author of Invisible Darkness put it, Marilyn was by this point living like a giant troll in the basement of their house. She never fed the children and instead hid food under her own bed because her husband was constantly talking about how his family wasn't going to eat him out of house

and home. The husband was, it is really. There's a food war going on. We actually talked about this recently, Kessel, about the idea of like, in my home growing up, the idea of running out of food was the single most embarrassing thing that could happen. Right.

Like that's why it's like my mom, for the four of us, cooked for 15 people. I mean, we got huge, right? Everybody got huge super high. I don't know what to do because every time I'm like, oh, five people are coming over to my house to watch football. I'm like, I better get 10 pizzas, 80 chicken wings. And it's just, I don't know why, but it's ingrained in me.

It's this thing about a sense of, I mean, it looks like, you know, we're doing well. Like this is. Also, I just want everyone to be, because when you see a pile of food, you see the smile on someone's face. And it's better than a punchline. It's for Big Fatties. For us, Big Fatties.

I love you to pile food. Like he doesn't care. Marcus doesn't care about food. I don't give a shit. Yeah. I mean, when I was growing up, we'd run out of food all the time, but not because my parents couldn't afford it or because they didn't care.

It was just because the store was fucking 10 miles away and it closed at four o'clock. The nearest supermarket was an hour away. But I mean, and also, if we didn't have food, like it was like, ah, okay, no big deal. Like it didn't really matter all that much. And the idea of feeding for pleasure or feeding as a way to show love or anything like that,

or food as a way to show love, that didn't exist. For us, food was sustenance. And that was it. Called out, and I'm honestly kind of getting very sensitive about it. It is different. It has a different approach. It is. But it's very good.

I think it's because my parents came from, seriously, they were raised by Depression-era people and then they lived that way. But the thing about Paul Bernardo's father, Ken Bernardo, not his father, his fucking, the father that raised him, is that he was, it was about his controlling mechanism, is that he did not want anybody to spend a fucking dime.

And so he would, they would go on fancy vacations. They would do certain things where, but it was more about keeping up with the Joneses. They did these things where he would scrimp and save, because he was an accountant, and he would scrimp and save and do these big outlandish things. Like they had brand new cars, they had certain things.

But he did not want it to be spent on what he considered to be frivolous things, like food and clothes. Now, Paul knew for a fact that his father snuck out of the house to peep on women, and people in the neighborhood had strong suspicions as well. But in true Canadian fashion, the cops didn't pay any attention to these rumors

because Ken was such a friendly guy. What am I gonna do? God, they're telling me, where are we gonna make windows illegal? If you're shitin' there with your tits out, you got the things on there, you don't need commas. And when it comes down to it, what is it?

We're gonna make air illegal to breathe. We're gonna have a conversation with them, maybe, and just be like, what are you doing? I'm a cop. I'll tell you what's illegal, which is talking to a cop while he's trying to eat. Okay. As far as Paul's motivations in life went,

he believed wholeheartedly that greed was good, just like many pieces of shit who came of age in the 80s. And Paul wanted nothing more than to make as much money as possible. He hustled, working at restaurants, with names like Mother's Pizza or The Crockin' Block. I dislike the name of that restaurant. I hate Crockin' Block and I hate Mother's Pizza.

Yeah, I hate Mother's Taco might be worse, though. Mother's Pizza sounds nice. And there's something about Mother's Pizza. That's what I'm saying. Mother's Pizza, because it sounds like you don't want to take Mother's Pizza, because if you get between Mother and her pizza, you're fucked.

You're dead, dude. So Mother's Pizza's like, Mother's got her pizza, you're eating a salad. Father's guacamole, oh my God. This was in addition to working jobs like newspaper delivery boy or security guard. Because as we know, security guard is an insanely common profession

amongst power control criminals. Now Paul kept his dark side in check, or at least hidden for most of his teenage years. But according to one high school teacher, Paul's entire demeanor changed after he started hanging out with Steve, Alex, and Van, collectively known as the Smyrnes Brothers. Where are the Smyrnes Brothers?

It's Smyrnes! The Smyrnes Brothers also push back just slightly. Security guards are also on the front lines against ghosts. Be very careful as a security guard. I did that show, Hidden Cameras, or whatever you call it on camera. Half of the damn thing is like a security guard,

just too tired. But they see a lot of shit, man. But honestly, though, he got a pack of goons. And then once the pack of goons got in there, like, again, what happens with goons? If you're not going to use goons, point and kiss them if you're not going to use these goons. These goons get fucking, they get all independent,

they start doing their own goony shit. You have to keep them in play. Oh no, you have to be so extremely clear with goons. You have to tell goons exactly where to be, why they're there, and what to do. But goons going to be in the middle of the highway. This is racism. Now I feel like this is racism.

Well, is it really smurnees? I have no fucking clue, but I do like the idea of them fighting for it. It's smurnees. I like smurnus. Yes, yes, smurnus. I mean, it's all bad. They sound like evil henchmen.

Yes, they definitely do. Well, the smurnus brothers were petty criminals with crude macho attitudes. Favorite thing, their father owned a Greek restaurant, and they'd trade pizza and souvlaki for stolen gasoline and illegal fishing on private property. Very Canadian. Very Canadian, but that's kind of cute.

That's kind of cute. It is cute. Yeah, but if they stopped there, it'd be very cute. Right. They did, at one point, they did exchange souvlaki for gasoline, and they were doing it with a guy that was a mortician. And they would go and like, that was the big thing is that this mortician guy,

you know, it just so, it's both, it's very mortician-y, where he's been like, you guys want to see the bodies? And then he would go and they were like, yeah, you bet, absolutely we do. And they went in there and were like, ah, gosh, look at him. He's cold, huh? And they would go and they literally were like,

he's like, look at this one. And then he would pull out another thing and they would see another dead guy. I mean, you're telling me that's not what Guy Fietti's next travel show is going to be all about? Triple C, Corners, I don't even know what it is. Figure it out.

Corners, cemeteries, and crab. It's seafood based around berries. I love it. I mean, I got the flow. Corners, coffins, and crabs. That's awesome. That's how it is. There it is.

The Smyrnus Brothers also liked trolling for young girls. And from how it seems, the behavior of the Smyrnus Brothers gave Paul permission to treat women like dirt. Well, they started it in their light version, right? And then Paul Bernardo obviously took it to 120%. Well, case in point was Paul's girlfriend, Jennifer Galligan, who was among the first recipients of Paul's escalating pattern of intensely violent abuse

towards women. Jennifer and Paul began dating in 1986 when he was attending the University of Toronto Scarborough and she was still in high school. She said that he was unusual, constantly twitching and sniffing and staring off into space for long periods of time for no apparent reason. That was his private behavior.

You can do watch Paul Bernardo though. I watched this last interview with him and that behavior is still kind of there. He's a weirdo, obviously. He's a fucking weird guy. Right. From what Jennifer said, Paul would always get sexually aggressive around the hours of 11, midnight, and 2 AM.

Hunger, she said, made him horny. And alcohol made him violent. Now, Jennifer said that she had her suspicions that Paul and the Smyrnus Brothers were fucking each other because they always found an excuse to get physical and push their bodies together. That's the thing with dudes that I've never understood. It's why I always had more girlfriends than manfriends

because I never understood all the dick tapping and the grabbing and wrestling each other. I'm just saying, I just never was into it. I thought it was icky. Like everybody like touching and grabbing and shit. It says a lot. Interesting. It says a lot.

Doesn't it say a lot? I'm not. I don't like my play. I knew every one of my friends' curvatures. Who used to wrestle backyard wrestling. I just like, I just wasn't into horse play. Yeah, you didn't like grab ass. He couldn't suckle.

Yeah, that's right. Never got the milk. Never got the milk from the teeth so you didn't have the muscle mass. I'm just looking for the milk with someone in me. Unfortunately, we have enough breast milk to go around now with the LPN family. But Jennifer Gallaghan also based her suspicions

about Paul being gay on the fact that Paul demanded anal sex. In this, she was entirely wrong. He didn't demand anal sex because he wanted to pretend her butthole belonged to a boy. He preferred it because it was painful. And because for some people, anal sex is humiliating. It's not for everybody. He would bring it up to be shocking.

And he said multiple times to his high school buddies that anal sex was the ultimate way to show domination over a woman. And he would say that anal sex, when he did it, with the way he did it, was his way of, he said it's the only way to make a woman love you. Oh, God. All right, very intriguing indeed.

If you're going to do it, please use the lubes and all of those things. Make it as pleasant as possible. Always. Yes. Because there's a lot of stuff in there. Use lubes, it's very gentle. Yeah, if you really want to go crazy with you

and really want to be safe, do the anime beforehand. Get it over there. Get all the dookie out. But also, there's going to be dookie. Yeah, there is. I'm sure. And there's going to be a name of my autobiography. There's going to be dookie.

Especially as soon as we have to take a break because Kissel's guts just went like, hey, hey. Like, I don't even know that's going to stay in the show. But Kissel literally, his guts made such a lot of noise that he had to go empty them. Thank you. Thank you for that. Hey, you know.

Just trying to keep, we're raw here. Additionally, Paul also began experimenting with a longstanding form of sexual abuse with Jennifer. Paul enjoyed inserting wine bottles into Jennifer's body just to see how far he could take it. But Jennifer, who really was a victim as opposed to Carla, she allowed it because she said she loved him. Well, she was so young.

Yeah, she was in high school. And this abuse went on for a long time. On the night of her high school graduation, Paul took her in his car to a deserted location and put a rope around her neck, strangling her while he anally raped her. On another occasion, he forced her to rudely pose naked for Polaroids,

which he said he would post to her church bulletin board if she ever left him. And this also points to, because as he started to reveal to his friends, right, because they would always have their jacular talk about women, right? And then he would say stuff like, as they would walk down the street, it started to escalate where first,

they would talk about women awfully, whatever. And then he would start to say stuff like, I see that girl over there, wouldn't it be nice if we could knock her down and stick it up her ass? And they're all like, no, Paul, we're not really into that. And then he would talk about, he revealed this information that he was starting to do BDSM and all these stuff with his girlfriend.

And it was the smirneys for all of the scams that they were starting to run, right? Like they were doing all of this shit together. They were all like, oh, that sounds rough, what you're doing there. Like immediately, like he was, he showed himself to be way more aggressive than they had, they were very surprised by his inner life.

Now Paul began living the yuppie dream when he was hired to accounting firm Price Waterhouse just before he graduated from college in 1987. Fallen in his fucking adopted father's footsteps. Yeah. But even though he was on the yuppie road, Paul was always a dirtbag at heart. And he just couldn't help doing dirtbag shit

with the smirness brothers. Always running dumb scams. Always. Right around the time that Paul was hired to Price Waterhouse, being paid quite a bit, mind you, he and Van Smirnes were out and about looking for young girls in Toronto. And apparently the local Hojo's was a prime spot

for just such a goal. Get out of the Howard Johnson's. People love Howard Johnson's. Geez. And it was on that night that Paul spotted 17 year old Karla Hamulka having a grilled cheese sandwich with her friend Debbie. Of course, that was Karla and Debbie visiting Toronto

for the aforementioned pet convention. Paul and Van asked the girls if they could join them. And from what Paul and Karla both later said, it was love at first sight. And within an hour, all four of them had gone back to Karla and Debbie's room. And while Van and Debbie awkwardly sat on the couch in the tiny Hojo's room,

Karla and Paul had a four hour long animal fuck session in the bed next to them. It's really weird. They really are like the, what's their names? They really have natural. Yeah, Mickey and Mallory Knox, they are that. They are very, very similar. Because the two of them, when they came together,

it's weird because I don't know how to put it. I feel like the certain people, like they have this chemistry and the chemistry that some people have make you better, right? They both make you better as people or bring you really close and it's really intense. But their chemistry brought them down. Like it was this thing where they got together

and it was immediately very dark. Their energy was very intense. They were obsessed with each other. I would have left at some point there. Well, I mean, Debbie was there. And for my friends, we're just having sex with each other in front of me. But like, I got to, is there any bar open?

It was very Canadian because Van kept going to Debbie. Like, why should we kiss or something? And Debbie's like, I guess we could kiss. And then like, they kissed one time and they weren't feeling it. And then like literally, Van is like, should you think we should go? And like Debbie's like, I don't want to ruin their night.

If you leave, we'll ruin their night. And it's because they were like, we don't want to ruin the mood. They kept saying that over and over again. They were like, what were they like? Sexy lamp shades or something? They just sat there and like, in the dark. They sat there in the dark.

Hmm? Oh, gum's the thing you can chew, huh? Yeah, all right. So have you heard of that? That president or? Yeah, well, yeah, well, I just gonna. Yep. They're really humming, huh?

Yes, indeed they are. They're going at it. I'm sure there were some pancakes or something they could have gone and eaten, but what? Yeah. Well, Van hung around because it was his fantasy to have sloppy seconds. And he openly asked Paul.

Can I get in there? Yeah, yeah. Literally, yes, we're done. Yeah. And Paul said, no, have a go at yourself. Why don't you do it? And that's presumably what Van did. No, because he said, no, I love her.

Like, it was really intense. Like, because it is weird because I guess they sort of insinuated it was going to happen. And then Van, oh, God, with this fucking mullet, you know, he had a huge ass mullet just sitting there. So he's like, oh, so it's my turn now. And he's just like, mm, he's been eaten up. Cut to the poor person doing room service at the Hojo,

just knocking on the door opening and just being like, hey, you guys want, okay. All right. Now, from what Carla later said, Paul swept her off her feet and was very nice in the beginning. But more importantly, Carla said that Paul was the first man she ever dated who wasn't a bore. He did the pattern he did with the last girl

that he was with seriously, where you love bomber, and then you slowly reveal who the hell you actually are. But Carla fucking loved that. In her past relationships, Carla could do whatever she wanted all the time. In other words, she was in control, and she found being in control to be boring. But with Paul, things got out of control very quickly.

And therefore, things got very exciting for Carla. Now, Paul lived in a neighborhood in Toronto called Scarborough, which was a two hour drive from St. Catharines, where Carla Hamulca still lived with her parents. Because remember, Paul's 23, Carla's 17. Yes, and he did the thing because his line was, because he's like, so you're from around here, you're around town? She's like, I live in St. Catharines.

And he's just like, oh, so how am I going to see if I care, if I can't bump into you? But when Paul started visiting Carla at her home, where she still lived with her parents, her parents fucking loved him and welcomed Paul as they started calling him their weekend son. He was like, this is very old school because he had to, to them outwardly, right?

Handsome guy, had a job. He's here. It seems to be super serious about our daughter. It seemed to be at the time period, it was much more acceptable for them to be like, Ari, you can get married at 17. Yeah, you can take care of it. You take care of it.

That's it. On Paul's first visit to the Amulca home, he walked into Carla's room and saw that she had her own set of handcuffs. When he saw this, his face fucking lit up, and she immediately suggested that he use them on her. All while they dirty talked about Paul being her, quote, big bad businessman.

Oh, naughty businessman. Because he confessed his ultimate vision and his life that he said, and this is a teenager, this is when he was like 17 years old, was that he would be getting blown by 20 prison, imprisoned virgins that he, while he sat at a desk. Doing tax work? Like literally like being a big powerful executive.

Like that was this thing that he kept saying that he wanted to set up for his life. I'm just so happy kids want to get into like, the NBA or even YouTube. Anything but, anything but what he said. Yeah, and surprisingly, considering how fucked up their relationship will become, Carla wrote love letters and left cute little notes for Paul

during their entire six year relationship, even after they started abusing and killing teenage girls. In an example of an early note, she gave him a card with two cartoon characters in bed being leered at by two characters outside the room. Inside, it said, roses are red, violets are blue. There is nothing more fun than a pervert like you.

Oh, now that is one of the sweetest, guys, can you put that on a birthday cake for me? How about I shit in your fucking mouth? Go remember, remember, remember. Hell, there ain't no key. The old fudge highway. Amen, people like to eat shit at school. Life from your grave.

Now, when Paul stayed over at Carla's house, he'd wait until everyone was asleep before going to her bedroom. But the more they had sex, the longer it took for him to climax. Because regular sex without some sort of violation just wasn't doing it. Finally, Paul had the idea to introduce a criminal element.

And he began getting out of bed to sneak outside to peep into the window of Carla's little sister, Tammy, who was only 12 years old at the time. And this action was entirely known to and approved by Carla Hamulka. Oh, yes. Jesus. She was already playing into this fantasy. Like she was doing this thing

because his again, his main fantasy was about taking the virginity from someone. And with him and Carla, obviously that time had already passed. And Carla kind of knew instinctually like, oh, I know exactly where to go with him. Like it is, it's fucked up because she kind of completed the steps as they went. It's pretty disgusting.

But while Paul was driving two hours to stay with the Hamulkas on the weekends, he was still in a relationship with Jennifer Galligan. Although that was soon to come to a brutal, almost fatal end. On the night that Paul graduated from the University of Toronto Scarborough, he projected his own infidelities and accused Jennifer of running around on him,

almost yelling in the middle of a Ramada hotel lobby that she was wandering around letting other men stick their salamis in her. That was his words, not mine. Oh, yeah. No, it's very, again, very Canadian. Yeah, very Canadian, yeah. Now she tried ignoring it and gave him a graduation gift, a nice sweater.

But this gift wasn't good enough for the great Paul. He loudly lost his temper, then walked out to his car and started doing donuts in the parking lot like an asshole. Fuck you, I'm doing donuts. I'm just gonna have to do it. All right, dude. I don't know, man.

Okay. We used to, that was a thing in college too, right, buddies? I remember like- No, I'm not against doing a fun donut, but that's totally different than- But doing it for range, protest. I don't understand. When Jennifer walked out and finally broke up with him,

but even though Paul agreed to the breakup, he couldn't let her go without punishment. He insisted on driving her home, but on the way, he grabbed her by the hair and hit her at every stoplight, then drove her to a deserted parking lot with the obvious intent of stabbing her to death. But thankfully, as Paul brandished the knife,

he got butterfingers and dropped his weapon between the car seats. Once the knife was gone, Jennifer escaped the car and never saw Paul Bernardo again. Oh, thank God she got out of there. Absolutely. And this was not the first case of him hitting a girlfriend. They're her previous girlfriend.

He also was caught beating up in the middle of a party. Then he went downstairs and he was wailing on her in the basement. And again, it's the same thing where all the guys were like, Paul, you're being crazy. And then she stayed with him. That girl stayed with him for a period of time as well.

It's absolutely fucked up, but he's slowly but surely ramping up. Meanwhile, like all of his training that he did, because the one thing that he did through this whole time is that he was a big Amway guy, right? So he was deeply involved in Amway. He was so deep in Amway that he started saying to the Smyrnes, hey, we need to start our own Amway.

That's how we start making some money, which is very insane. Technically, he's correct. Yeah. So with Jennifer out of the picture, Paul and Carla's relationship got taken to the next level. Carla became obsessed and began encouraging Paul's more violent sexual impulses,

telling him in one letter to rip off her clothes and ravish her like a beast. But at the same time, she'd also include lovey-dovey cliches, like take it, don't break it, and hugs and kisses. I mean, you know, you got to mix it up. All of that is fine with a consensual, healthy adult relationship. I just feel like they are not that.

Obviously nothing wrong with dirty talk about ripping off clothes and ravishing. Nothing wrong with hugs and kisses. But it was obvious that Paul's sexual desires were undoubtedly criminal. Especially because they weren't together that long and he's already escalating. And again, it's not just about tying somebody up

and spanking him or even intense BDSM play. It's not about that type of thing that you build a relationship over time and trust and all that shit. He just immediately went to hyperviolence. For example, one night, daring about a consensual sexual bondage, Paul asked Carla what she would think

if she found out that he was a rapist. And without missing a beat, she said she thought it would be cool. And so soon after, Paul became the Scarborough Rapist. Oh my God. I do believe he was already on the way. But it is weird how. Yeah, absolutely was.

Carla Homoco kind of gave him a little bit of fuel. Like they did this thing. It was like, there was something about how like, I got my main chick is so fucked up. I can do whatever I want. And it's weird. It gave him like on freedom almost. It did.

I mean, I wouldn't say that she gave him permission necessarily because he was, as we'll get into later, he'd already started ramping up by the time they had this conversation. But it definitely made it more. I think it did make it more intense. Like her being there did make him more intense. Now, from what we know,

Paul Bernardo was responsible for 13 rapes and six attempted rapes between 1987 and 1990. But what we also know about rape is that the majority of cases are never reported. That means that Paul's numbers are probably far higher. And it's here at this point in the episode that things are about to get really bad. See, the Scarborough Rapist cases were able to be linked

because Paul Bernardo had a very specific MO and a very specific victim type. Paul would sneak up behind teenage girls at bus stops late at night and drag them between two houses. He would then rape them for hours sometimes, talking the entire time and making the teenagers either talk dirty or say things associated with good feelings. Like, I love you or Merry Christmas.

The Merry Christmas thing is a thing that I don't particularly understand. And that comes up again and again and again. And I don't know why. Well, I think the reason why he said things like Merry Christmas and I Love You, or made the girls say things like Merry Christmas and I Love You is because he wanted to attach,

he wanted to pervert everything. He wanted to attach bad feelings to good phrases. And he wanted to attach them to phrases that the girls would hear all the time. Super common. Super common. He wanted every single time that girl heard Merry Christmas, he wanted her to think of him and what he had done to her.

And that's the thing about the Serial Rapist specifically, I think, is that it is about that. It's creating lasting trauma. It's this thing where it's like, because then you'll see he will also escalate those, where he'll keep coming back. Yeah. I mean, it's really sad.

It's a form of marketing, which he probably learned in school. Yeah. Because how many times do you say, can you hear me now? Yeah. And then your brain is like, sprint. And you're like, god damn it, they got me again. God damn it.

So I'm sure that's a technique that is taught in schools as far as how to earworm somebody. Quite possibly. On December 16th, Paul Bernardo snuck up behind a 15-year-old girl outside of a bus stop late at night and put a gloved hand over her mouth, then dragged her between two houses before he showed her his knife. Jesus, this is the horror cliche.

Yes. I mean, this is so scary. No, it really is. It is. For an hour and a half, with a coaxial cable wrapped around her neck, he raped her while talking endlessly, forcing her to tell her that she loved him, torturing her both mentally and physically.

He then told her that he didn't care if she told the police, because if she did, it would only humiliate her. And her friends would thereafter make fun of her, and her boyfriend wouldn't like her anymore. When Paul was done, he made the girl hide under a nearby trailer and count slowly for 20 seconds before she could get up again. And by the time she got off the ground, Paul Bernardo was long gone. And most arrogantly, Paul hadn't even bothered to hide his face.

And what's so sad about that is he wasn't necessarily wrong. No, it's fucked up. Because victim shaming is so real, obviously not nearly the same scale, but you look at like a Monica Lewinsky, her life was ruined because of the actions of the early 90s and mid-90s. But it's just, it's so sad that like when he said that to her, she probably agreed with him because that was the societal standard. And then the cops will again, they will make sure that they know this,

that they'll make sure the women know this because these rape kits that will go off after this will sit and gather dust for years until later on. But Paul, that's the thing too, not wearing a mask. Like this is where I said before, he's quote unquote cunning, like in terms of as a predator, but he's also massively fucking stupid, because the main hole that he has, which all narcissists, sadistic narcissists have, is that ego hole. Because there is this thing thing, because he wanted them to see his face.

Wanted them to see his face. And he also kind of felt like a lot of people that are sadistic narcissists, that level, they kind of believe that I'll just walk. Like no one will ever catch me. I'm invisible. I'm so good. Yeah. And if they do catch me, I can talk my way out of it.

Now, like a serial killer, Paul had escalated his behavior before this attack. The previous summer, he had costed and fondled three women. And we know that it was Paul because the MO and the descriptors were the same. The rapist those women described was a well-groomed young man with good teeth, who talked through the assault and wanted to hear specific things in return. And incredibly, Paul never wore a mask or tried to hide his face in any way during the hours that he spent committing these crimes. And because of this, the fifth victim, a 17-year-old, was able to give a spot on description

of her attacker. He would also do fake out leaves. Like he would do this thing where he'd leave and come back and leave and come back. And again, that shows like he was just a torturer. And this really just showed, that's why in my mind, again, he was just steps away from being a serial killer. Like he was just looking for what he was going to be the key. Like waiting for somebody, I guess, to freak out on him in a certain way.

Because what do we know about serial killers, they need to give themselves permission, vis-a-vis like something like the some kind of natural thing where they said, I had to kill this person. Right. Well, this girl said that her attacker was a white six foot tall man weighing 180 pounds with light brown, almost blondish hair, clean shaven with a mole under his nose. He was wearing a gold ring with three diamonds on one hand and a skull ring on the other. Lastly, he drove a white four capri and carried his knife in a leather case.

Furthermore, the girls who had been assaulted knew his face well enough that a composite sketch could be done. And that composite sketch looked exactly like Paul Bernardo. So in his clothes, they got him. Oh yeah, they got him. It's the end of the episode. It's the end of the whole damn thing. Paul Bernardo, like of his fucking like witness like picture, whatever it is,

the fucking the composite sketch of all of the serial killers that we have covered. And last podcast on the left, it was identical. Like it was his face. Like they nailed it. But it's so much more psychologically traumatizing too to go to the police, do everything right. The fact that she remembered almost like Ace Ventura-esque level of detective work. With the things in the red.

I'm glad Ace Ventura got into the conversation right now. I'm glad that he's here. But it is just so demoralizing when you go through all the steps and you tell the cops everything and they still don't do anything. No, it's brutal. It just that's that's just it makes you feel like nothing. I mean, if you want to hear the biggest fucking injustice, this composite sketch was not released to the public.

Because investigators believe that if the picture of this all Canadian boy got out, mothers, wives, and sisters would point their fingers at sons, husbands, and brothers. What? And we can't and we can't have all that hubbub now, can we? What are you talking about? Dude, this is what we mean. This is what we're talking about. It's this type of shit.

It happens again and again because they're just like, we don't want to get anybody in a tizzy. Dude, don't you don't just arrest anyone. You arrest the person who did it. It's also it looked like Paul Bernardo. It didn't look like every Canadian. It looked like Paul Bernardo. Well, in addition, Paul's ex-girlfriend Jennifer Gallaghan,

she met with a police sergeant on New Year's Eve 1988 to specifically talk about Paul Bernardo. She detailed his various sexual assaults, his extreme sexual violence, and his attempted murder. But Paul's violent crimes weren't why Jennifer had shown up to the police station that night. Instead, she was there because Paul still owed her two grand and the checks he'd already written to her had bounced. Because he also was in the middle

of his fucking check writing scam system that he was doing because he got one of those old school, like I forget how it was. It was like he could make it look like official business checks. It's like machine. I think that's what they were doing all over town. They were writing bad checks. Nevertheless, the sergeant still took note of Paul's sexual crimes.

He did the right thing here. He wrote a five page report comparing Bernardo's assaults on Jennifer to the ongoing Scarborough rapist case, noting that Paul Bernardo also drove a white four Caprice. This is great dots are being connected. But in a moment of sheer incompetence, the sergeant misstated the report to January 5th, 1987. Not January 5th, 1988.

Like it was a fucking rent check. What? We got the year wrong. Because it was January 5th. You've been doing that. You do that. So every time January comes along in the rent check, you always raise 87.

Yeah, he fucked up. Yeah, I understand the new year has happened. Yeah. And therefore, the report was misfiled and lost for two years. Oh my God. Okay. Paul, of course, raped another woman soon after. And another composite sketch was drawn up

that looked just like every sketch done before. But all the police did was arrest a courier who kind of looked like Paul. You need to be driving a car. All right, that's your first crime right here. Driving a bike? What is this? San Francisco.

Meanwhile, Carla and Paul were getting more serious. For Christmas 1987, Paul gave Carla a $300 dress, a gold necklace, and an expensive teddy bear that she named Bunky. Oh, the things that Bunky will see. Oh my God. In exchange, Carla gave Paul a love coupon. That said, quote,

Upon presentation of this coupon, Carla Leanne Hamulca will perform sick, perverted acts upon Paul, Kenneth, Bernardo. These acts may be chosen by the recipient of the coupon. This coupon expires January 2, 1988. So better get it in me. Yeah, I'm not a year, I guess. Then Carla upped the ante by implying that other girls

could be involved in Paul's violent sexual urges. On Valentine's Day, 1988, Carla gave him another coupon. But this one was for one cute little blonde 17-year-old girl to be put on her knees between Paul's legs to pleasure him as he'd never been pleasured before. Yeah, man, she was getting off on this whole fucking thing. Right, I mean, the first one's kind of cute, you know? You got a cute part for bud.

And technically, again, if he wasn't a Scarborough rapist, it could also be normal if they wanted to include somebody else in the relationship. I mean, not a 17-year-old, of course, but... I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Carla was the one that pushed Paul into these crimes. Paul would have been a fucking criminal

even without Carla Hamulca. He already was, but it's kind of the difference between a tropical storm and a hurricane. You know, like that's with Carla Hamulca, it became a fucking hurricane. Because he had this, like, fucked-up base. Yeah. Or it's like his home level, like, with the idea of, like,

he didn't... It's not like, you know, all the other serial killers, like Jerry Brutus or this type of people that have, like, a, quote-unquote, normal wife where they live, like, one life and then they can live another. His life was directly intertwined. Right. Like, he didn't have to compartmentalize at all.

Like, weirdly, he had this freedom to do whatever he wanted and kind of, like, I think that made him really, like... I don't know what it is. It inspired him. At least I'm not lying to my wife. Yes, it's weird. Because it's also a thing he gets hung up later on where he's being like, you called me a liar.

I'm not a liar. And he hates being called a lie. This whole thing about being like, you are a liar. Yeah. Like Martin McFly doesn't like to be called a chicken. Yes. Well, this is right around the time Paul requested Carla give his penis a nickname.

And out of everything... You can't do that. That is out of Seinfeld. We learned this from George T-Bone. I'm going to go for T-Bone to launch. No, they're going to call you something. You cannot request a nickname. They called him Coco.

He stole it upon you. No. And out of everything she could have picked, she chose Snuffles. I think it's from Snuffleup, I guess. It could be. Yeah, I guess so. That is my...

I do believe it. It's a bit of a flattering nickname. No, it is not a flattering nickname. I mean, it's an Elephant's drunk, but it does sound like Snuffles also does sound like a... a janitor at a bad school. I mean, it sounds like it sneezes, but it needs Kleenex all the time.

It does. I suppose. Never mind, it makes sense. Now it checks out. And disgustingly, Snuffles, that nickname, would be used even during their most depraved sexual crimes. Yeah, it gets real sinister real fast with Snuffles.

Late that summer, Carla and Paul began making their infamous sex tapes, starting during a vacation to Walt Disney World in Florida, because perhaps not surprisingly, because Paul fucking loved Florida. I'm going to put it this way. Canadians love Florida. That's the truth.

They love Florida. They're called snowbirds. And also British people, the Englishmen, also fucking adore Florida. I like Florida. I love Florida. Technically is very nice. It's a great place.

On that first video, Carla and Paul somewhat innocently pranced around half-naked in Mickey Mouse hats. You know, the kind with the ears. It's fun. Sure. It's cute. With these two,

they went along, they graduated to taking Polaroids during anal sex, blowjobs, and the aforementioned wine bottle insertion, which Carla was all too happy to do. Damn. Now, as far as we know, Paul laid low with the criminal behavior during the spring and summer of 1989.

But on August 15th, he resumed his spree by pulling a girl off the street and doing the exact same thing he'd done so many times before. And amazingly, it was around this time that Paul was actually recognized by one of his Pricewaterhouse coworkers while he was watching a bus stop

waiting for a victim. A woman named Suzanne approached Paul at work one day and told him that she'd seen him lurking behind the bus stop the night before in his car. What are you doing lurking? Why are you lurking all night? Dude, what is he doing?

Why are you lurking? You're lurking. Come on now. She told him that she'd pulled up next to him and waved, but he was staring so intently at the bus stop that he never noticed. I don't want to interrupt your lurking,

but I know you're doing it, but when it comes down to it, you're like, I guess you're free to lurk and that's what you do. I guess it can be fun. You can learn all the schedules of the bus. Yeah, I guess so. That's true.

Now, even though the sketch of the Scarborough Rapist wasn't released by this point, the Scarborough Rapist was a known quantity to the public. They knew the MO. They knew that there was a guy kidnapping fucking teenage girls from bus stops late at night. And had that sketch been released,

Suzanne might have put two and two together. But instead of calling the cops about this guy staring at bus stops, Suzanne merely joked to Paul, oh gosh, you must be the Scarborough Rapist, aren't you? Oh, man, this could... Not a funny joke. Yeah.

But Paul got uncomfortable, told her she shouldn't say things like that to people. So Suzanne just dropped it. Now, the lead investigator in the Scarborough Rapist case was a detective with the unfortunate name of Steve Irwin. But this one lived. Well, yeah.

Well, Crocodile Hunter. You're right. He did not hunt crocodiles. He saved crocodiles, and Steve Irwin was very good for the ecology of the world. And he got taken down by a goddamn manta ray. Yeah, very sad.

Well, in an echo of what we've seen in Canadian investigations time and again, Detective Irwin was a master at shuffling his feet. Oh, come on. In November of 19... Don't they want the credit of capturing this psychopath? They're trying to get to their accolades of like, this is how you become a goat.

They're trying to get to their cottages. They're trying to get to their fishing retreats. They'll have a bonus. People will love you. They'll be like, thank you for catching this monster. They just want to be done. They want their day to be done.

When they're done with their day, they go home. They don't think about work. These aren't like old school detectives that are out there. They're strutting, fretting all day long, trying to catch fucking people. These guys are...

They're done. They clock out. Oh, just another tough day of work here. He takes a shot of maple syrup. Oh, that's racist. That was... That is racist. It's Canadianist.

No, we love the Canadian people. And maple syrup. I'm sure that there are some badass Canadian cops out there. There must be. There has to be. The Mounties. You know, they actually have a reputation for being really fucking good at what they do.

They always get their man. Yeah. These detectives? These detectives? These Toronto detectives. This wasn't like this was a small city. This was fucking Toronto. It was Toronto.

It was Toronto. It was a big fucking awful. In November of 1989, the Scarborough Rapist struck for the 12th time. And these rapes have been occurring for two years. And every time, the description and composite were exactly the same. And so it was with the 12th victim,

the detective Irwin figured they might as well form some kind of task force. You know, I actually am starting to think, we need to look into this. It turns out they don't just get tired. I thought he was just going to go to bed. My thing, honestly, is like, you know, after like 10, I figure, ah, he's done.

Double digits, yeah. He's done. He's got to have it out of his system. Because tell me, I can't even go to that many live baseball games. Like you're singing, that's an enjoyable activity. You know, I guess we better nip this in the bud. Oh my god, the bud.

This thing is flowered out into a horrible torture tree. Yeah, meanwhile, Carla and Paul were sinking deeper into dirtbag territory. Paul attended Carla's senior prom. And in the middle of celebrations, Carla sucker punched her ex-boyfriend, Doug. Fuck you, Doug. I got you, Doug.

A melee ensued and a bunch of high school kids beat the shit out of Paul Bernardo. There you go. After graduation, for reasons unknown, Carla took an amputated puppy tail from her job at number one pet center and mailed it to her friend Debbie. Don't know why. I don't know.

I guess just to prove just how fucking out there she was. I don't know. I guess she sent her a third of a boy. Yeah. What in the hell? Snipsy snails and puppy dog tails. That's fun. That's cute.

That's cute. She is cute. It's long. Hit away. Well, soon after, Carla left her job at number one pet center and got hired at the Martindale Animal Clinic as a health technician. There, she got very familiar with the ins and outs

of surgical procedures on flesh and blood creatures. Is she the herald shipment of what? Pets? No, she's never killed any pets. As far as we know, we don't know what she did. No, she doesn't kill any pets. It's just that a crime that we'll get to either in part two or part three, how they deal with the crime,

one of them has knowledge of cutting and slicing. Definitely. It was around this time that Carla Hamulka also began participating in Paul's crimes. On December 21st, 1989, Paul struck again. But this time, a woman was there, videotaping the whole thing. And perhaps because Carla was acting as the audience, Paul viciously beat this victim as well,

which added something new to the MO. Now Carla was obviously turned on by this type of behavior because her favorite movie was criminal law starring Kevin Bacon. What? That's very niche. Yeah. In this film, Bacon plays a wealthy serial rapist

and murderer who stuffs disposable diapers in the victim's mouths and strangles them before lighting their genitals on fire to destroy the evidence. Have you been making from footloose? And if you just like that movie, that's totally fine. It's even fine if you love that movie. But if it's your favorite movie that you watch

over and over again, that's something else altogether. Yeah, man. That's foot tight. Man, I gotta say, I've been rewatching the original friend of the 13th. It's just been on TV nonstop, so I've just watched it in like four parts. But Kevin Bacon's role is amazing.

And I forget all of the foreshadowing to the fact that it is indeed Jason's mother. So Kevin Bacon's one degree away from Paul Bernardo. No, Paul Bernardo never knew Kevin Bacon. Yeah, you gotta know him or work with him. Yeah. That's it. But his death was really cool in that movie.

Yeah, because if it was just like everyone who liked a Kevin Bacon movie was one degree away from the movie, everyone in the world would be one degree from Kevin Bacon. And really, Carla's attraction to Paul had to be the violence because it sure as hell wasn't the money. By spring of 1990, Paul had quit his job at Price Waterhouse to start a business with a co-worker. Their scheme, worm picking.

Gotta get in the worms. That's where the money is. Is he freaking Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber, driving a limousine? I got worms. That's what we're gonna call it. What the... Okay, go on, please.

I need to know. Well, these two accountants went in together on a full-size GMC van to transport worms that they would pick out of the ground. But they didn't pick them themselves. No. They got fishermen to sell them the worms at a lower price. Yeah.

And then they would sell the buckets of worms to other people at a higher price, at a markup. Okay, Paul, you're male. Now, you see that desk, you're sitting out there. How boring is this, right? I fucking hate, I'll tell you what, honestly, I hate sitting in the chair. I hate the free stuff.

I hate all the money I'm making. I really hate making six figures. Smell my hand. Smells like dirt, right? Yeah, it does. That's called money. And I've been digging for worms all night long. Oh, wait a second.

That's what's in your pockets. And that's why they're moving? It's worms. Holy shit. That's right. Worms are money. We're in worm money now, baby. Well, by their estimate,

they could clear 10,000 worms a night. Yeah, that's a lot of worms. That's a lot of worm. And that nets $1,000 a week. 10,000 worms equals $1,000. Wow. But when the weather turned and it rained every night for almost a month,

the plan fell apart and Pulse had to sell the van. The profit margin was destroyed. I never knew they could drown. I'm sorry about that, Paul. I didn't know they could drown. You know what? I don't blame you. I blame fucking clouds.

I blame clouds and I blame worms for being pussies. Speaking of which, look at that cloud up there. What do you see? I see a man riding a cowboy up there, literally a man riding a cowboy. Isn't that kind of fun to think about? I see a woman splayed out on the bed,

her guts torn from inside of her. And actually, and I'm on top of it, it's like a whisper in the side of her ears, wondering what it's like to be a corpse. Well, the guy on top actually had the cowboy hat on. I don't know if it was the cloud that I saw. Two people kind of riding each other. But instead of going back to accounting,

after worm pick and failed, Paul began a career that he'd pursue until he was finally arrested for his sexual crimes. Paul became a cigarette smuggler, taking contraband Canadian cigarettes over the border to sell in the United States. It's honest dishonest money.

That's who the whole thing is there. It's hard to do, and it's illegal. But it's money. It didn't pay bad. I mean, it was 65 grand a year. I mean, you could do worse. That's not enough money. That is not enough money to be a smuggler.

1980s money, that's really not bad. I guess so. It's good money. But Paul also wanted something to feed his ever-increasing ego. He became obsessed with motivational speaker, Tony Robbins. Because he liked what Robbins had to say,

but because Paul believed he could make it big as a motivational speaker himself. I don't think so, Paul. I don't think so. He ordered every motivational tape he could find, usually from ads in a magazine called Success. Success. Paul's plan was to cobble together

his own philosophy by stealing bits from a bunch of other motivational tapes. And when this proved too difficult, he also gave up on this scheme. This is what we mean. He couldn't even played your eyes? He could be too lazy for that. This is what we mean when we say

that Paul Bernardo was every finance bro fucking cliche, wrapped up into one, and he's always been like this. Because it started with Amway, where he got a deep into Amway with the Smyrnys, and they were doing all of this shit, but when it came down to it, they had a hard time selling Amway,

because everybody knew it was super poor. They couldn't figure it out. They couldn't move it. But then they started saying, we should start our own Amway. We're more of a scam way. We'll do it like this, but when it comes down to it,

they didn't have the discipline to put together the system. His ideas are tobacco smuggling, I got worms, and scam way. And he also, he started getting really into evangelical Christianity. Because there was a period of time where he got into these mega churches,

where he'd go to these mega churches, which seems to be so on the nose, I want to punch myself in the face. When he looked at these preachers, and he's like, I can learn how to talk the talk. I'll be making fucking $600,000 a year. I can just learn this whole Christianity fucking bullshit. I'll fucking wrap it up.

I'll be one of these guys. But again, he was like, this sucks. And that's why, of course, we need to see the movie Warnky versus Bernardo. Oh, God. Bernardo technically would have stabbed Mike Warnky to death. I think Warnky was probably a better public speaker.

I mean, Paul Bernardo followed the track, because Amway and evangelical Christianity go together like peanut butter and jelly. It's almost like there's a susceptible group of people who might fall trap into those scenarios. He was obsessed with this, and like making any sort of what he called easy money. But again, what do we know about scabs, man?

There's so much harder to get a job. So much more difficult. Like just fucking get a job if you want money. If you're running scabs, it's very difficult. There's a great, I'm sure everyone read Freakonomics, but they talk about that, and there's very little money in scams. Yeah.

But meanwhile. Not to mention the stress. Yeah. But meanwhile, the attacks on women in Scarborough continued. In May of 1990, Paul struck again. And it was at this point that the task force decided that maybe they'd better let the public know what this guy looked like.

Yeah. It's been three years. Oh, God. I actually have a better idea. I have a better idea. What if we just show half the picture, right? And then make it a contest that people can draw with eating the other halfes

and send in, and if they're right, we will give them, I don't know, $10. Wow. Let's give them $10. That sounds good. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair.

That is fair. I'm not sorry about that. That's a thing. If the public had known that the police knew what the Scarborough rapists looked like, if they knew that they were in possession of a composite sketch for three years. It's freaking criminal

that they did not release the sketch. Yeah. The public might have a problem with that. Oh, and guess what? Also, I mean, none of the rape kits were being processed in any way, shape, or form. No. They were doing them, and then they just went away.

I mean, that's a thing that also in America, we are now dealing with, is these piles of these rape kits that they just won't put the resources towards to fucking get out the door. Like, they have to process all of this shit. So there's no DNA evidence, and they got it all. They have the DNA evidence. They have all this shit, which we'll find out later.

Yeah. Well, yeah, the DNA evidence is, at this point, this is 1990. This is very early. This is very early days for DNA evidence. Can we trust it? A lot of those questions. Yeah.

So the police, instead of admitting, like, yeah, we've had this composite sketch for three years, they just lied. And they said that the victim that was attacked on May of 1990, they just said, oh, yeah, this is the first woman to get a good look at this guy. It is all so stupid.

And it gets worse, Kessel. The next episode, it actually gets worse from this. Yeah. It is just like, it gets worse in this episode. You had two pairs of gloves this whole time. Yep. It literally is like, really? You guys knew this this whole time?

Yeah. And of course, once the sketch was released, everyone at Price Waterhouse said, oh, fuck, that's Paul. That's Paul. Oh, my god. Yeah. And even an employee at Paul's bank

thought, holy shit, that's that dude, Paul. You should see the picture. It's Paul. Right. Yeah. Furthermore, around this time, a woman went to the Scarborough Police Department and told them that a man named Paul Bernardo

was following her and had written her a threatening letter. And with that, the cops said, oh, Paul's just a love-sick fella. We don't need to investigate that. And I see nothing. All right. Well, that's great. At the same time, the bank employee who recognized Paul called Detective Irwin and said, hey,

I know a guy who looks exactly like that rapist sketch. And a nurse also reported that a guy named Paul Bernardo had gotten her drunk and tried to rape her. Because he told her her name. Like, he literally just was operating in plain sight. Paul had even been on the suspect list for another rape outside of the Scarborough rapist rapes. But he'd never even been interviewed.

In fact, instead of going after Paul, Detective Irwin went for one of the Smyrnus brothers, because Alex Smyrnus had actually dated the nurse that Paul had tried raping. Why did they think Paul was this wonderful, charming person? We'll get to that here in a second. We'll get to that here in a second. But Alex was not loyal in the least

and very quickly spilled the beans on Paul. You had one of Paul's closest friends saying, Paul is domineering. Paul likes anal sex. Paul picks up young girls and rapes them. Yeah, he said it. That's the problem. He said it. He said Paul and I raped a girl together in Florida.

He told the cops this explicitly. What was even more flabbergasting is that Alex Smyrnus told cops Paul drives a 1980 white Ford Capri. And Detective Irwin was also finally in possession of the file connecting Paul to the Scarborough rapist case. They finally found it after two years. But despite this overwhelming mountain of evidence, Detective Irwin didn't get around to interviewing Paul

for another two months. And once he finally got in the box with what was obviously their best suspect, Paul told him, I don't need to rape women because I got a lot of girlfriends. And since Paul was a good looking and charming guy, Detective Irwin said, oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Just let him go after 45 minutes.

That is such an egotistical, sociological, or sociopathic one. You don't look like a rapist. Because that's what it is. Why would I need to do that? You'll be like, you don't look like one. And that's it. You're done.

Because it's this weird thing. We're going to get into it more next episode. But it's just this idea of cops are almost like impressed and have a crush on Paul. These cops. These cops. And as a result, Paul being let go after 45 minutes 45 minutes.

More women will be raped. 45 minutes. 45 minutes. That's as long as they talk to him. 45 minutes. Oh, well, I got to get out of here, you know. You know, Martin Moll is going to be on television. I actually got to get to my television

because Martin Moll is there and I don't mull about when Martin Moll is on the screen. Yeah, I got to go then. This is around the time that kids in the hall are getting going. Who wasn't watching Old Comedy? Kids in the hall. Fantastic. Love those guys.

Well, as a result of these cops just letting Paul go, more women would be raped and three teenagers would end up dead. And that's where we'll pick back up for part two of Carla Hamoka and Paul Bernardo. Not at all upsetting. Well, it is extremely upsetting and honestly, thank you to all the hardworking members of law enforcement. Yes.

Who do their jobs? Who do their jobs because this is where when we talk about police reform and all of those things, this is one of those areas where thank you for what you do because you do protect and save lives in these cases. Well, you just have to look at this shit and hopefully more and more people look at these types of examples and just show like you got to put in extra hours

and sometimes you have to dig and you have to go after these people, especially if they quote unquote don't look like a rapist. Yeah. I mean, there's a middle ground between like the American model of find a suspect as soon as possible and arrest him and nail him to a wall. The first one, dude.

Yeah. With the least amount of evidence. Right, of course. The Canadian model that we've seen here, which is I'll get around to it someday. Like it's not that important. There's a middle ground between these two. Yeah.

That's probably the Germans. They probably do. That's probably their middle ground. All right. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening to this episode. We're back in, buddy. We're doing it.

It's spooky season. It is indeed spooky season. I hope everyone's having a fantastic October so far. Email us at side stories LPOTL and gmail.com to submit stories for listener posture, which we shall be doing on side stories. I think about two weeks, the week before Halloween. And then Marcus Parks is going to join side stories for a spooky episode on a Halloween week.

I'm very excited for we're going to get him. Go get him. Are you going to get me? Oh, you're going to get me? You don't get him. We're going to talk about pumpkins, maybe. Yeah, man. That's going to be a fascinating episode.

Can we just talk about the history of pumpkins? Oh, yeah. Well, when did the pumpkin become the hero of harvest? Can we possibly talk about the pumpkin spice muffin that's being sold at the new coffee shop around the corner? It's wonderful. I love it. If you would like to talk about that, of course we can.

If we do an episode about gourds, I'm going to quit. I get one a year. Yes, yes. I get one Ben Kissel's Choice and perhaps gourds or perhaps maybe pickles. Maybe a full episode of pickles. I don't know. And of course that would cucumbers would be included.

I guess pickles are the creepiest vegetable. Yeah. In many ways. My favorite. My little warts on them. Yeah. Thank you for supporting us for buying our comic book. Yes.

I have a reprint. We got a second printing coming out. It's really meant so much to us that you guys bought Soul Plumber. So they're coming back to a lot of comic book stores. And again, hit up your local shop about if you are interested in getting a copy. Yeah, absolutely. And right now, like right now, we're fucking, we're sold out.

I know there are some comic book stores that still have copies, but for the most part, Soul Plumber number one is sold out. So if you still want to read it, if you missed it, we are getting a reprint of issue number one. We'll let you know exactly when that comes out, but you're going to need to go to your local comic book store. Just call them up and have them order it for you and have them hold it for you.

Every comic book store in America would be more than happy to hold a comic book for a new customer. So please, please, please support your local comic book stores, especially when number two comes out and when the reprint number one comes out. Yeah. Oh, right. And yes, seriously, thank you all so much.

It's just incredible to get a reprint. It's super rare. So y'all are just wonderful. It's amazing. Also, we have our weed line. So we got roots over here in LA. There's a bunch of spots. Yeah, you got it at higher path.

So enjoy the weed. Yes. Yeah. Thank you all so much for supporting the shows. Keep on supporting all the LPN shows and anything else, Marcus? Do you want to? Yeah. No dogs.

Yeah, no dogs in space. Season two was also released on Tuesday and episodes of No Dogs in Space are going to be weekly for each series now. Awesome. So for the full Velvet Underground series, it's going to come out week after week after week. Then we're going to take a break until the next series, just to give us time to get put together the best album,

album, the best episode possible. All right, listen to the very first episode of Velvet Underground. It's great. That's wonderful. Yes. Fucking good work. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thanks for supporting everything we do. And again, thank you also for the fantastic response regarding us going wide in February of next year. We can't wait to be on all of your podcast platforms. Yeah. If you're a pod crab or wherever you are. Seriously, man, wherever you want as of February 1st, 2022.

We're going wide again, baby. So we're excited to be back in Gen Pop, as Henry would say. Yeah. Thank you to Spotify for the years with them. And we want to say thank you to Stitcher for our forward years. Absolutely. With them. Absolutely.

It'll be interesting. Everyone's been wonderful. All right, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Hail Geaton. Magus Dalatians. Hail me.

No, no, no. I'll hail you. I'll hail you. Pounds and pounds of food for October Halloween. Yeah. I know that's what we're doing. We're making sure that you're going to float. I'm going to bring pounds of food.

Oh, yes. I don't know what it'll be, but it'll be pounds of it. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.