Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 471: Karla Homolka & Paul Bernardo Part II - Deadly Innocence

Episode Date: October 23, 2021

On part two, the dumb-and-deadly Canadian duo ramp up their violence and depravity, while still somehow evading capture by the police. And to make matters worse, Paul Bernardo dabbles in hip-hop.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started Dog meat Unfortunately, we're gonna have to begin today with a bit of you know, what are we gonna? What are we going to do? What are we doing? We have to talk about your Latin American Influence you to say Ontario well, I don't know

We need to channel our inner Canadian and say I'm sorry right away. We don't have to say. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bullshit Oh, I have to say is bienvenidos ontario But we will go we will revert into I know it's Ontario and technically it's ontarian in Toronto You're not even supposed to say the tea and it's Toronto Canadian stuff. You're supposed to say it's Toronto. It's Toronto There's Toronto Toronto, Toronto, Toronto, and so again Canadians We know you're sensitive and I think it's got something to do with all the oil gravy you suck up It's a gravy. Yes, and so here we are in ontario Begiving I switch them together. I mix them together. You're really brilliant

Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone I am Ben hanging out with Marcus and hanging out with Henry. Yeah, you are yes a couple of balls sagging out of a pair of rip pants Love to be a bunch of balls having a nice time jiggling around Alright guys, so today's story, you know, we were just having fun. So that's done now Because this story is disgusting once again. This is part two of three. We are covering Paul Bernardo and And Carla Hamulca. So let's just get back into it So when we last left Paul Bernardo and Carla Hamulca the year was 1990 and Carla had just begun to participate in Paul's crimes by

Videotaping one of the most violent of the many rapes he committed as the Scarborough rapist And you know what? I really you know what? I solely blame a lot of this on Christmas Why because this came from gifts and we're gonna talk about this Okay, furthermore Paul Bernardo had been cleared by the investigators looking into the Scarborough rapist cases After putting him in the box for just 45 minutes despite the fact that he was the most likely suspect by far Hey, there's no way Paul Bernardo had anything to do with it. Look at his flappy hair There is no way somebody who's hair is as flappy as that has anything to do with gripping and pouncing This is great Canadian police work, but if we look at 1990 from a cultural perspective

Particularly pop culture. Oh, we see that 1990 was also the year that vanilla ice topped the charts with his one and only hit Ice Ice baby and vanilla's number one fan in Canada was undoubtedly Paul Bernardo DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN Ice ice baby because that's what they're used to driving on and they get obsessed with it Paul Bernardo weather report Paul Bernardo I think of all of the vanilla ice Interpreters, let's call them that instead of fans because everyone's just trying to figure out. What's at the center of vanilla ice That's my what? It's nothing its water. It goes away when it's what's it gets hot? It gets good goes away. It's not absolutely. Um, but Paul Bernardo captured the spirit of vanilla ice

More accurately than anyone else because there's just something about his dress and his actions That really makes me think of isn't his name like Robert Winters the Robert van Rob van Winkle Ah, that's it. Well easy. He does he did that home renovation show as well But in the Amish show and also don't forget about the new metal version of ice ice, baby that he did in like 2001 ice ice baby. I actually enjoyed that one. You didn't enjoy that, but I could that was technically built for you Mm-hmm. No, if you'll remember Carla was a big Beastie Boys fan So the idea that white guys could have rap careers was certainly in Paul Bernardo's purview even before vanilla ice came along It was for all of us

But while the Beasties might have been just a little too good for Paul to emulate vanilla ice had just the right amount of Blandness for a shallow sociopath like Paul. Oh, he's the stool humper of rappers He is a man that you say blandness. I say broadness People to get on board cuz some of these raps. All right, let's face it. Okay, some of these raps are really complicated Yeah, I don't know what they're saying all sorts of code and half these codes mean weed Which is oh, I don't even know what to say about that and half of these other codes are about gambling next to women And that is inappropriate and full disclosure. Nothing but love for ice ice. Nothing but love for vanilla It's not sure if I'd add why because why not?

He's a victim of a he's a victim of a studio system that was perverted They used him they abused him and they threw him away much like Millie Vanilly for some reason. Wow, they were making They were naming all of the bands about they were kind of like cooking extracts Millie Vanilly, I just feel like it's something that you would put into a cup cupcake to make it really good sure and then vanilla Obviously, you're gonna want that if you're making a cake, so Created them prop them up and then destroyed them because the Destroyed himself. No, he didn't he didn't have another good song. No, he had a fucking movie Yeah, he had snow mommy and the other one called hey come dye my hair that vanilla ice song

I've heard that other song being a hasty one. Please buy me a house. That was off of the fifth album Now you're thinking about snow, which is another fantastic band. Oh, oh We got a good guy to move in former. It's the last thing Carla and Paul want. I mean that's actually what Carla became Oh, so Paul Bernardo going by the name young hype And he died and cut his hair to look just like vanilla ice and he got to work on his debut rap album called deadly innocence deadly Innocence you see I crossed my arms. Yeah, we actually heard you cross Now from what we know from Paul's rap journals

His goal was to rap about what he knew from his perspective He knew about being competitive going to parties picking up girls and love He knew everything there was to know about love. Yeah, he also his whole thing was that you could imagine it He had this one saying from Gordon Gekko up on his wall. This guy Imagination is reality. I would rather hang out with someone who only has Scarface Paraphanelia and posters than someone who loves Gordon Gekko at least Scarface had a little bit of fun with it But but yeah, that is true. He did. It's interesting again. It's a whole side world I don't know what's going on there your love of snow the band

You know what I hate I hate the hate that they received I see I see love the person hate the hate But besides just what he knew Paul also wanted to talk about the issues that you know, yeah, of course he did man How hard is it to drive on ice? Inspired by ice ice, baby, of course You know to talk about relationships breakups stealing Vandalism and death. Whoa cool Now Paul thought of himself as an absolute fucking badass coolest fucking guy to ever come out of Scarborough

But his rhymes and lyrics are fucking Pathetic so bad he might as well be fucking starting his songs with my name is Paul Bernardo and I'm here to say my name is Paul Bernardo and I'm here to say I do things in a Canadian way That's how you start but Paul Bernardo also this was at a time period where he was Narrowing his social life down as we'll get to this is one way to whittle way the friends Any amateur rap is a good way to make sure you get your alone time But Paul Bernardo was a guy that he wanted to be super cool to 15 year olds because he was trying to have sex with them And so as now a close to 25 year old man, he was only hanging out with kids

Oh, my kids like looked up to him and hit in their stupid ways right where he went He bought them booze and he was like hang out with them and his whole thing is that he would like create social like Hierarchies with whoever got access to his Nissan Like who was like and all the cool kids and then he also was getting especially close to Tammy. Okay. Yeah Well one specific deadly innocence song Paul wrote from the perspective of a guy fighting back when some other dude tried stealing his girlfriend And it's here that he explains the meaning of deadly innocence He wrote quote if he steps on me because I look non-threatening. It's his biggest mistake

It's a case of misjudging or underestimating. It's a case of deadly innocence It doesn't know none of it's good, but you have to say it rap like if he steps on me because I look non-threatening It's his biggest mistake. It's a case of misjudging or extra. Nope. You know what? No It's fucking it's got it's a god. It's really bad flow. He has no idea what he's doing. Here's some of his further lyrics You think I'm innocent but behind this I'm packing a lot of deadliness. So come at me come at me I got a fucking nice face. I look like a pretty boy. Why don't you come at me, man? Take your best shot. See what happens to you pal. You're out of here, man You come at me with your beer belly, and you think you're really tough. I come back looking like I'm 13 years old

And I'll kick your ass. I'll kill your parents Then I'll shoot your girlfriend, and I'll fuck your wife. That's me deadly innocence. What? He sounds like Terry the gnome. He does. It's this is technically if Chucky wraps This is would be it. I want somebody to give me an example of another rap song that uses the word pal I don't know I don't know because he became obsessed with using the word pal because again he heard it Wall Street He was upset a pal became when he came everybody actually called Carla pal and these lyrics in his rap journals It goes on and on like this for pages upon pages some of them do rhyme

Okay, at one point. He's a I think he says something like I'll drain your brain and steal your chain I think that was the best that he did But unfortunately we could sound like he'll suck your dick and then Rob you yeah Unfortunately though we couldn't find any recordings meaning you'll have to imagine Paul's actual flow all on your own Which is actually pretty easy to do because if you watch any one of the like the snippets of home tapes because I've been Desperately looking for them because I'm a fucking monster So I'm trying to find as many of the recordings as I can and he is just so Unbelievably Canadian. It's like he's just so Mick Rick Moranis from strange bro

Like it is just oh, oh, yeah daddy. I want niggard there He and this mean like imagining that in a rap flow I'm so embarrassed from here like 20 years in the future. I'm embarrassed. Just I wish I'd stopped This is I honestly, it's the second biggest crime Yeah. We're connected to Paul's love of rap or really his love for one rapper was Paul's love of the Friday of the 13th Franchise, okay, it makes sense. See Paul noticed how samples and beats were looped in rap songs You know the ding ding ding ding ding ding dingding dingding ding and I'm maybe now How is it different from under pressure,

because it didn't say, like they say... They explain it on VH1. It's one... Well, no. You're going into too many dings, not enough d's. Under pressure. It's ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, and in Ice Ice Baby, it's ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

See? Totally different. What? VH, he explained it on VH1. Yeah, I remember. That's what it is. It's the first ding. There's one less.

But it's not true. They got sued. They lost the loss. But somehow, beat looping got connected in Paul Bernardo's brain to how Jason Voorhees always came back as the same Jason but slightly different. I mean this is 1990, we're already up to eight Friday the 13th movies at this point. Jason just went to Manhattan to maybe explore a rap career. But based on Friday the 13th and rap production techniques, Paul Bernardo developed what he

called his theory of life. This theory of life was pretty much just reincarnation without the wheel of karma. Basically, Paul believed that people just came back as more or less themselves again and again to live in a different time and place after each go round. Like how many different remixes of Ice Ice Baby are on that first album? There's like four of them. Now it's not entirely clear what this belief says about Paul Bernardo's pathology, but if his sexual crimes are any indication, I think this belief added to his sadistic tendencies.

Because if this is true, then it means that the damage he inflicted on women would be carried over to the next life and the next ad infinitum. No, he viewed himself weirdly. There is a side of him that is very almost esoteric because he does believe in this kind of concept that the zodiac brings up actually in his letters. This idea that when I die, I kill people so that when I die, I'll have slaves in the afterlife. He actually talks about this concept quite a bit that every single one of these women that he is with, he owns and that he has memories of them.

And that's why he goes and he is a souvenir collector and a picture taker and all of these types of things. It actually works into his MOs because he's basically he's like, this will live on forever and I get to do this for forever. There's another piece of media that he was obsessed with, which is this motivational tape called Lead the Field by Earl Nightingale, that he actually borrowed money from his friends to purchase like some rare vinyl of it. And it's now on YouTube.

And basically the whole thing is all about like, stand up straight. Look your challenges directly in the eyes. Make sure you stuff a rag in their mouth. Like it's stuff like that where you go and you're like, this is very intense. How did it get here? And he was really into this like woo wee woo kind of bullshit. Yeah. Manifesting a reality.

Which honestly, you know, it's weird though how it comes up because of how many times have I talked about reality is perception, all this type of shit. And it's just sad when somebody uses it for highly nefarious sense. Absolutely. You got to have karma. You got to know it. Your actions come back. They do.

It's a boomerang. It's a boomerang. Now, right around the time that Paul Bernardo's love for vanilla ice was reaching its peak, he and Carla Hamulca would commit their first rape and accidental murder together, which is all the more tragic for being Carla's little sister. See, by 1990, Paul and Carla had been in a relationship for almost two years and Paul began trying to convince Carla that it was okay for him to sleep with other women. Now there was a bit of groundwork he laid to do this.

So one of Carla's friends found a list that Paul had written for her of how to behave. So he was trying to slowly massage her into certain thought processes, but she was already halfway there, right? Yeah. Because we know for a fact that they juiced her up. But one of the things, because what Carla always said was like, I'm a highly independent woman and I need someone who can control me because that was her thing, right? She wants to be controlled.

Well, those two, it's tough to marry those two, isn't it? But it's weird. She was like, I was always bored by other men because I just did whatever I wanted or whatever and they would just be like whatever. But I wanted someone who said no to whatever, right? I mean, I don't even... That's how I view Carla. I believe your interpretation.

I also believe that I'm sticking with dogs. Yes. But he made this list for her to keep on her at all times and what the list said was never let anyone know our relationship is anything but perfect. Don't talk back to Paul. Always smile when you're with Paul. Be a perfect girlfriend for Paul. If Paul asks for a drink, bring him and quickly and happy.

Remember, you're stupid. Remember, you're ugly. Remember, you're fat. I don't know why I tell you these things because you never change. And he wrote this thing and she had this around. It's not. And so he was getting her used to this abusive environment and Carla was taking to it. Yeah.

Now, at first, the open relationship wasn't Carla's scene. But when Paul suggested a threesome, she got a lot more agreeable. The hitch here was that Paul's main target for this threesome was Carla's 15-year-old sister, Tammy. Now, this wasn't full-throttled right from the beginning. Possibly to get Carla used to the idea, Carla and Paul began role-playing sexual scenarios in which Paul had sex with Carla while Carla played Tammy. And he was ramping up his physical relationship with Tammy, too.

Because they would have a habit, which I don't think any family member should have. Can I be really upset? No, I don't think so. Right? If I came home and Carla would come home and often find Tammy in her regular position in which she would sit on Paul's lap facing him, pelvis to pelvis, right? And they would laugh and joke about it, right, about how close they were getting. But also Paul understood he was creating this division between Tammy and Carla.

Carla was getting more and more jealous of Tammy and their relationship as time went. And he was stoking these fires on both sides. Basically hanging up being like, can you believe how hot Tammy's looking today? Meanwhile, Tammy's 14 years old. Yeah. It's pretty disgusting stuff. Yes, I'm great. No.

I'm not fucking high-fiving them. Yeah. And guess what? It's gonna get so much fucking worse. Life from your grave. Well, during these role-playing scenarios, amidst much talk of snuffles and kings, because Paul always loved Carla to tell him that he was a king over and over. He's the king, baby.

You're the king. You're the king, baby. So he pulled a photo of Tammy while Carla blew it. Now this satisfied Paul for a bit, but as it always was, he escalated. First Carla broke the blinds in Tammy's bedroom so Paul could peep and videotape her undressing. Think how much shit Carla's doing. I also want to make sure we keep charting Carla's involvement as we go, being like,

she went really far out of her way to help in these fantasies get built. First Carla and Paul had sex in Tammy's bed, followed by Carla using Tammy's dildo on herself. Oh my goodness. I have a hard time using Natalie's toothbrush. Finally Carla and Paul drugged Tammy by crushing volume into her spaghetti, and once she was passed out, Paul ejaculated onto the pillow she was sleeping on. And by the way, what we said earlier in the first episode about this being a really fucking

gross episode. It's going to be a gross series. It's a gross series. It's just going to be all of it, and it's going to get terrifying at one point. Yeah, because I've only ever come on a pillow in a motel, and that's just because I'm not living there. You still shouldn't come on the pillow, I mean. I'm not trying to, but sometimes you're just like, you're in the moment.

You're like, whoa. In the 30 seconds it takes to masturbate in there, you're just like, whoa, whoa, you're spinning in a circle. Well, it's not quite that crazy. This sort of behavior went on for an entire summer and fall, made even worse by the fact that Paul Bernardo had moved away from Scarborough and had taken up residence in the Holmolka home. Yeah, it became the full week, son.

Yep. Eventually, Tammy would dump any drinks Paul brought her and her friends because there were always little white flakes floating on top. And they made it like this funny bit. Yeah. Oh, Paul's trying to have sex with us while we're asleep. It's this funny thing. I know that this is also the 90s or the 1990, and I guess there is a little bit more of

a, there is a joking atmosphere about this concept, like, you know, how many times people have like isolated clips of Bill Cosby doing bits about Spanish fly and how good it is to get women all worked up. Isolated. There was on his first album. Yes, I'm saying they were on it. It was on a track. Right.

Yeah. Now, as far as where Paul was getting these drugs, Carla had been put in charge of the drug registry at the pet clinic where she worked. Therefore, Paul and Carla had a near unlimited access to untraceable sedatives and they soon began experimenting with Halcyon. Now, Eagle-eared listeners might have perked up at the mention of Halcyon because Halcyon was the same drug that Jeffrey Dahmer used to drug his victims, either in the bars and bathhouses where he met them or once he got them back to his apartment.

Halcyon has really been, they really hate this advertisement, they don't want this free advertising. No, I don't think so. Once suitably drugged Dahmer would either rape men in the bathhouses, which was an offense that got him banned from every bathhouse in Milwaukee, or he would kill them in his apartment to do what Dahmer did. Now, Paul and Carla experimented on Tammy for months with various doses of Halcyon and right around Christmas of 1990, they figured they were ready to go all the way, especially

when Carla basically gave her little sister to Paul as a Christmas present. This was all set up for Christmas time. So this is, it's really, I mean, it's fucked, absolutely. I don't know why it's extra fucked that it's at Christmas, but she did position it as a gift. Yeah. That's disgusting, yeah. But that's also just one point of view.

Some people believe that Carla was so abused by Paul that she basically copied his psychopathic tendencies and did whatever she felt would please him. Also Paul wouldn't beat her instead. And there are certainly abusive relationships of this kind, although to a much lesser extent. But to say that Carla was merely a meek supplicant who supported Paul's sadism is short-sighted and again sexist. Yeah. Remember, women can be psychopaths too.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. And we want more of them. I support them. I support them to come forward, run businesses. Now, I don't want to give too much away, but the moment Paul truly started lashing out on Carla years later, she cut her losses and threw them under the bus the first chance

she got. And furthermore, as we said, women have just as much of a capacity for violent sadism as men do. They just might have different origins for it. Like it depends on what they're getting back and what the feedback is. Some people find it sexually exciting. Some women do. It's much rarer in women than men, but a lot of times they also find some form of like

pragmatic use for it, especially in this example. And there have been plenty of women who did not kill in a way that a sexual sadist like Ted Bundy killed, but women who said that they poisoned their victims. Katharine Knight. Yeah, Katharine Knight, but women who just poisoned their victims and watched them die and then later described as having an extreme sexual satisfaction watching the light go out of somebody's eyes. Oh, look at that.

Wow. Yeah. Well, I got excited. But for a prime example of a violent sadist, we can look to the oft-referenced Ilsa Koch, the so-called beast of Buchenwald, whose supposed construction of lampshades made from tattooed skin inspired Ed Gein. Now there's no evidence that she did that, only witnesses, but the fact that she was still a Nazi concentration camp commandant, that's got to count for something.

Yeah, man. They seem to have an eye for macabre talent over there. I don't know what it is with the Nazis, but they seem to understand, oh, this bitch is going to be brutal. Let's hire her. Yep. The idea is the woman is the cooperative partner of a sexual sadist or someone that actually would give in to their torture, came from a report that the FBI wrote, it was written

by Roy Hazlewood, Janet Warren and Park Dietz, it was called the disturbed mind, compliant victims of the sexual sadist. And this was actually sent to the Canadian police when they were trying to figure out how to prosecute this case or figure out what are the MO's of these, of this couple, right? And also it's a part of the reason why that Carla Homoka got her plea deal, which we're going to cover in more detail next week. They sent them a document. Basically, they were like, because they're like, how do we figure this out?

Because they're going to police because they can't fucking just figure it out on their own. They don't have their own fucking investigative unit that's doing any sort of work and they can't look it up. I guess on the microfiche. They got to work it into a comedy sketch. They, I guess, that's the only way for them to absorb it. It needs to be in a review on the CBC, but this guy, basically this is about women that

are a part of severe sexual sadist relationships and how they end up co-opting the behavior of their sexual sadist partners doing, doing crimes alongside of them. But the type of abuse that the women talk about in these, in this report, I'm talking about total, full physical control of their body, right? Where they were one woman reported being wrapped in duct tape from head to toe and beaten, right? Another woman talking about being hung from a pole and beaten, and that after years of this abuse began to sort of actually take the abuse and want the abuse and consent

to the abuse. A bit of Stockholm syndrome, perhaps. Yes, but this does not really, for me, it does not fit the example of Carla Homoka, because yes, was she abused? Sure. And was she mentally and physically abused? Yes. But she never to this extent, and Carla Homoka was already perpetrating some of these crimes

when this whole started. She was already doing the soft rollout of the Ken and Barbie murders. And so, because of that, I don't think it really matches, but it's what they use. It's a very interesting report, and you should read it, but it's fucking harrowing. And obviously, our thoughts go out to anyone who is a victim of any kind of domestic abuse and abuse, and we also have to remember that we have choices as well, because it's hard, it might be difficult, but you still have a choice to not go down the path of a Carla Homoka.

You're right. Yeah, I mean, I think Carla Homoka weathered the abuse because the sexual charge she got from participating in Paul's crimes, it was in essence worth it. It was worth the abuse until it wasn't. I'm just going to say this relationship seems a little toxic. What? I don't know. I am not Dr. Phil or any kind of doctor, which nor is Dr. Phil, but that's okay.

Now when Paul finally decided to rape Tammy Homoka, or I guess when they were ready to do so, it took a massive amount of premeditation and planning, and it was Carla who supplied the drugs to make this plan a reality. Now the Halcyon worked just fine for causing someone to pass out, but Paul and Carla wanted something to make sure that Tammy would not only not wake up in the middle of it, but also wouldn't remember anything that had happened. That was key to the whole plan. So right around Christmas in 1990, Carla pocketed a bottle of an inhalant anesthetic called

Halithane from her job at the Martindale Animal Clinic. The drug was used to sedate animals when it was surgery time, and since Halithane was unregulated, Carla could steal as much as she wanted. At around that same time, Paul bought himself a new Sony video camera quarter, because while he and Carla had done a few videos in the past, Paul wanted to make sure he got high quality footage of the rape both he and Carla were about to commit with Carla's sister. It's really weird how it all became super powered by the purchase of this camera. Like, that's why I made the joke about the idea of this being to blame on Christmas presents.

As soon as he got this equipment, it kind of went full on because he was obsessed with the video camera. Like, one thing that will come to light when they're investigating it after everything is discovered, the hours and hours and hours of footage that he put together and not just of crimes, of everything, like, I guess it's like, my family had one of the big heavy ones, those big, crazy video cameras, and we did like using it, I used it for sketch comedy. It's like that in the sense that it was a tool that was used by you, but it was quite

different. We became, like, obsessed with the camera, right? That's like, and they drink water too, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's like that, the sense that you purchase something kind of similar. So on Christmas Day, everyone at the Hamulka house was drinking, and that's when Paul and Carla laced Tammy's daiquiri with crushed halcyon. Now it was for starters. Why are we giving so many drinks to a 15-year-old kid?

Like, why is everybody just so chill with this shit? It's Christmas time. It's that there's nothing wrong with having a drink with the family around Christmas time. Yeah, I guess it's fine. It's more of the drugging and everything else. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's also bad. Yeah, you're right.

That's the part of it, it's bad. But yeah, you know, have a kid get a little eggnog and say, oh, yeah, it's Christmas, you go ahead, bud. I guess because my dad was an alcoholic, so booze was never like fun in our house. Yeah, yeah, it's a different thing. I remember we were at a sip of a wine cooler once, I was like, well, that's a pretty good thing to do. And since Christmas was a festive time, Paul brought out his new camera and started goofing

around. First, he's saying, I size baby for the camera in its entirety. It's not even close to a Christmas album. And he probably sang it in a manner that was serious enough to make everyone uncomfortable. Oh yeah, like sweating through his shirt and doing the full like breakdown dance and shit. And they all have to go, that's great, Paul. They better be careful. They better be careful or it's going to do a renovation on the home that could even be

worse. Oh. Oh. Oh. Van Winkle bit. Oh. Van Winkle. Oh, call Van Winkle.

We have a leak. Then, since it was 1990, Paul, Carla and Tammy took turns doing the extreme close up bit from Wayne's world because Paul and Tammy were big comedy fans. Yeah, man. Never missed a Simpsons. No. Nope. And Carla would write her favorite things in the world were the songs Patience by Guns

and Roses. Okay, that's another one. And Saturday Night Live. Okay. That's your favorite things. Okay, favorite things. Yes. Okay, that makes sense.

All right. And Halcyon. And it's something that's in the mix. Then out of nowhere, Tammy, she recognized that something was wrong and she announced to a room full of people that, quote, these guys are trying to poison me. Now, maybe everyone was just too drunk or they just didn't care because nobody reacted at all or even asked Tammy what she meant when she said, these guys are trying to poison me.

Like, ah, you're crazy, Tammy. What is this? I'm going to poison clinic. And it wasn't even like, oh, Tammy, you're crazy. It was a complete no sell. Nothing. Nothing. And Tammy had a right to feel ill because Paul and Carla had given her 10 Halcyon pills

at five milligrams each. But I suppose she built up a sort of tolerance because Paul and Carla had been giving her pills for months in anticipation of this night. Finally, Paul, Carla and Tammy sat down and watched an exorcist rip off called Lisa and the Devil. That featured Telly Savalas. I like Telly Savalas. Making a second appearance here on last podcast on the left in less than a year.

Welcome. He's also, he's getting the bump. He has passed on. He is dead. Yep. So while they were watching this flick, Tammy passed out. And to bolster the argument that Carla did indeed give Tammy as a present, they laid her out in front of the Christmas tree before they began.

So gross. Now, Tammy was indeed out like a light, but Carla and Paul didn't want to take any chances. To make sure Tammy didn't wake up, Carla held a rag soaked in halithane over her sister's mouth. After Paul and Carla both got undressed, Paul began raping Tammy. Eventually, Carla got involved. Paul pushed Carla's head between her unconscious sister's legs and Carla performed conilingus on her own sister, all while Tammy was menstruating.

Oh, God. But it's around this time the Tammy's face turned blue. Then she was so deep into an unconscious state, her neck had fallen in such a way that her air passages had been closed off. Then when she suddenly regurgitated, as people often do when they're on these drugs, the vomit filled her lungs. And Paul and Carla weren't able to clear the way for her to take a breath. Terrified, Carla and Paul got dressed and dragged Tammy to her room where they dressed

her as well. And as Paul did mouth to mouth, Carla called 911 and poured the remaining halithane down the drain before emergency crews arrived. And again, this shows the fact that how much planning went into this and planning went into the cover-up, where this was not like a passion of the moment. They had been building up for months. And then when it all went down, they immediately knew we have to clean up all the evidence, we have to get our story straight.

And both of them jumped into it. They were ready to go with new stories that were, I'm going to say, not Ryan Stiles level of improv. Like, this is to bring him back up because they are just both so stupid that they could not figure it. Also, I would put that they were hammered as well. Yeah. I mean, the whole point of this is that Tammy survived.

That's all the planning was that they could do this. She wouldn't remember it and they wouldn't get caught. Everything was not in any way a part of their plan. Because killing is how you got caught. Yep. Now, Tammy was rushed to the hospital, but the constable who showed up with the ambulance immediately read the scene wrong. He assumed that they'd all been, quote, free base in cocaine.

I am just a free-base in cocaine. Free-base in cocaine. I guess he'd heard it at a seminar or something. He's fucking guys, man. Oh, my lord. It's the Canadian. I blame you down. Here's a certain thing, man.

We're going to cover it even more next episode because it's the Canadian sense of innocence that is also getting them fucking in trouble. This is not free. It's not even 10. Free-base in cocaine would mean that they were all very awake. It doesn't make any sense. It's just so, it's saying buzzwords you heard. I mean, like, I heard about a guy he was doing free-base and the next thing you know, he

became the Batman villain, the penguin. And you're like, what? That's real? But these guys don't understand. They just hear these things. And then they just make it up to get the job over with. It's Christmas, I guess. Oh, is that cocaine system?

Ice ice, baby. That's what the song's about. That actually might be what the song's about. Cocaine on Christmas. I mean, it's not just laziness. It's also being naive, you know? That's like, oh, like not have it. Like an American cop shows up, looks at the scene and go, obviously this girl got drugged.

Obviously they're on some kind of fucking, they're on some kind of sedative here. And all of this Canadian cop sees is, oh, drugs, this looks like maybe drugs. It's gotta be cocaine. It's gotta be cocaine. That's the most illegal of them. What is free-base, what is free-base in cocaine? How is that different than doing cocaine? You smoke it.

Smoking it. Yeah, and it gets you super high, man. Apparently it's fucking great. I don't know, man. Be very careful. Get your testers and your crackers out there. I've been actually thinking about it because I need a new pre-workout. And I've heard free-base and really gets you in the mindset to do some peloton.

That's a great idea for you. But Paul and Carla got their story straight by the time officials showed up. And they told cops, hey, we've been watching Lisa and the Devil, Tammy started complaining of blurred vision, we all fell asleep, and then we were all woken up when Tammy started gagging. That's when we called 911, that's when the fucking cops came. That's called the pause and fast-forward motive. That's what they said.

Basically, we went to sleep, time traveled, woke up, now we're in a bit of a predicament early, and the cops are like, you bet, this is all sorts of a mess, we better clean this up, it's almost Christmas time. Just as Carla and Paul were telling this story, a call came from the hospital to tell the family that Tammy had died. Now, Paul's reaction at this moment is interesting, because it's hard to tell whether he was being performative or genuine. I don't think he knows, honestly, I don't think he even fucking knows what's a performance

and what he actually feels in any way, shape, or form, because he's a fully constructed personality. That's very true. It's very possible. See, when Paul heard the news, he banged the back of his head against the wall, started shouting, no, no, no, no, no, and then he started pulling at his hair, again screaming, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this reaction could be one of two things. Paul might've been putting on a show for the cops to throw them off his trail, but I think

the more likely reason behind his reaction was that he was pissed off that a rape had turned into the much stickier crime of murder. I will also posit a third way, the third way by Henry Zabranowski, which I do think could possibly be real, which is he was attached to Tammy, and I'm not saying emotionally attached. Probably also attached to his freedom. That's what, absolutely, but he's attached to her, like someone is attached to a very nice pair of shoes, where he looked at Tammy as an object that belonged to him, and he

had total ownership of. I think there was, he was partially mad because in his mind, Carla fucked up, because Carla was supposed to know how much drugs we were supposed to be able to give Tammy, so not that just so that she wouldn't die, so that I could do this again, and that this arrangement could happen again, and that Tammy belonged to me, Tammy's not supposed to be dead. It's like Freddy versus Jason when Jason gets Freddy's kill, and then that breaks up the relationship. It breaks up the relationship, which like, she was supposed to, Tammy was supposed to

remain his slave, and he was mad that he lost the slave. Poor Tammy. Yes. But due to yet another case of glaring, almost criminal incompetence, Paul didn't need to worry about this murder any more than he needed to worry about the Scarborough rapes. See, even though Tammy had bright red chemical burns on her face from the halothane, and even though her body was obviously marked up from being dragged around the house, police had no follow-up questions for Paul and Carla.

They told the police. Don't they know the first rule of fucking improv? They always keep it rolling. Keep it going. But no questions, so actually they're not supposed to ask questions. No, the questions can be rolled into the yes and the handy. It certainly depends on the game, it depends on which area we're in. Let's just play the game.

Let's play the game called murder, and why don't we just yes and our way into finding the culprit. That's very scary, because improving your way into murder is how it always ends up. These guys, they told the police that when they discovered Tammy, they had dragged her off the couch to do CPR, and so they said that the burns on her face were rug burns from them dragging her. So then that means the police, yes, the police, yes, the police believe that if you're your sister, and your sister-in-law basically was dying, that you would flip her over, drag

her face first into the middle of the living room, like if you don't wheelbarrow drag somebody. Oh, that's how you do it. No, that is how you do it. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. With her face down on the ground there.

Good, good, good. It's just so sad. You know, and I might understand cops not pressing a family during an obvious time of intense grief, but there were other chances to notice these clues. When the coroner took a look at the body that night, the chemical burns and drag marks were ignored again. The reason? It was Christmastime.

Yeah. And the coroner had been drinking. Yeah. He had to go home. I can't be sitting there okay. I got cranberry juice, I got cranberry sauce, turn it into cranberry juice inside my goddamn house right now. You know, Chris?

And yeah, I had nine end dogs, and I did drive here, but I'm a police officer, so I'm going to put you under arrest. So instead of doing his fucking job, he rolled the death as accidental but suspicious. I'm going to put it down. All right, listen though. Yeah, it was a bit of a nibb-wipsy-do. Sure, drunk quarter. I'm going to put a bit of a mystery behind it.

So yeah, it's a bit suspicious. Because how many times you stick around, you know, how many times, I have me to sandwich for myself this afternoon, right? Like, I'm not going around anymore. It was gone, right? You know, you mean maybe the dog ate it or something, but also I've never seen a dog like that. But honestly, even that's just a bit suspicious as well, talking to the dog, you mean using

the second steps to hold a dog? I'm a corpse right now laying here, drunk corner, and technically it's insulting what you're doing. Oh, she got some of the cranberry juice I was talking about earlier, it's all over her face. No, no. This is a Christmas incident. No, drunk corner, not good.

Good. And although Carla acted oddly at her sister's funeral, she was constantly messing with the corpse's hair, straining its clothes. She didn't really seem all that shattered about Tammy's death. Paul was also fidgeting with the corpse. Both of them were like haunting, they had this open wake, right, which also no one was into it. No one wanted to open casket.

No, it's so sad. And when they showed up because they did the makeup that they could, but her face was all burnt, right? Like she had chemical burns all over her fucking face. So no one wanted to say anything, again, very polite. And then Paul and Carla were just posted up next to the fucking casket being like, doesn't she look nice? Doesn't she look nice?

And he was literally going like playing with her arms and shit and putting stuff in the casket, fucking around with it, and I do understand it's a person and everybody grieves in different ways, but I think that these guys were suspicious about it. A bit suspicious, thank you, drunk corner. So when the Hamulcas took a trip about two weeks later to take their mind off the tragedy, Carla stayed at home with Paul. But instead of grieving, Paul and Carla figured the best way to lift their spirits would be to commit another rape.

And since Carla's family was gone, they could do it at home. It was two weeks after Tammy died. Jesus. They kidnapped a girl, brought her back to the Hamulca home, and raped her in Carla's bedroom. They let her go on a deserted road near Lake Gibson. Now, we have no idea who this girl is, but Paul and Carla disgustingly gave her the pet name January Girl.

It's very BTK. It is very BTK. Yeah, it is very BTK. Because they got very morbid together. I mean, obviously very morbid, but they loved this process together because Carla also viewed this as a way to change the... She was so up Paul's ass, right? I do believe that Paul was the driving force and Carla was in the sidecar, right?

Sure. And they worked together and they did it. But the whole thing was about appeasing Paul and that the whole tenor of the thing was about making sure Paul's happy. And so she was willing to do all of this shit and go along with it. But there's also this incident here where apparently there's video, which I didn't see, of Paul punching himself in the face, being like, that's how this shit was supposed to work with Tammy.

Now this was supposed to work with Tammy, like him screaming about how Carla fucked it up. Yep. And speaking of disgusting, soon after Tammy's death, Paul and Carla began making sex tapes reliving Tammy's rape. In one extraordinarily long video, Carla said that she loved it when Paul fucked her little sister, all while she paid tribute to snuffles. There is transcript of the video.

That's his cock just as a reminder. That is his cock. Yes, that's his cock. This is a, this is the first transcript of the videos that this comes from. Yeah. It's also in this video that Carla basically comes up with a victim profile for future rapes that they would do together, like the one they did with Tammy. Carla said that the victims should be 13 and that Paul should quote, and this is a direct

quote, break their hymens with snuffles. Oh, God, it sounds like the worst episode of the teletubbies I've ever heard. Creepily, Carla also said freely and without prompting that these victims were their children and that she thought that Paul should make them quote, even more hours. And when Paul asked when she came up with that idea, she said, just now. Oh, because again, it's weird because he believed in this, like he was up his own ass, right? This is a form of like narcissism that is clinical where he did in his mind. He thought when I create these memories, they exist separately in my mind as souls.

And then I'm collecting people, like what we're doing here is collecting these forever memories that we're going to use forever, which is that we're going to live off of sexually forever. And then we're going to videotape the whole thing to keep adding to the permanence of the memories. Yeah. Later in the video, Carla pulled out a pair of Tammy's underwear and Paul rubbed it all over his body.

And when they finally had sex, Carla told him that she wanted him to rape 50 more girls, 50 more times, but only in the summer because wintertime is too hard for something like that. Because of the ice, ice baby. That is very true. All right. So it's a summertime thing for them, even though January said, but that was their last one after every time.

Yeah, it was because of Tammy. January, 1991. Yeah. But do you know how, you know, a winter is, January is fine. It's when February that you really start getting, you got to hibernate for a little while. That's when you get sad. Wake me up when September comes.

That's what I always say. Wake me up when September ends. That's the lot of the year, the seven months. I think it's when it's September ends. Oh, yeah. That's a green. Still, that's even 10 months. This is a long time to be asleep from February to October.

That's depression. Yeah. Then as a finale, the video cuts and restarts in Tammy's bedroom, where Carla is wearing Tammy's clothes and holding a portrait of her sister over her face. Carla then filates Paul and the video ends. It's just so evil and scary. Why you like it? Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's just so scary because you know what there's a part of it that is just so scary, the idea of like, because marriage is weird, isn't it, huh? Because you do get developed. I don't even think they were married. No, not yet, but they were spiritually, they were as far as they were concerned. And it is weird how like you get to these games, but something like that is just so scary.

They have become this, this, the two halves of one month. I think most people don't get to those air quotes games. I don't think most people don't have the, no, no, no, hey, honey, you want to take that picture of your sister, put it on your face and then blow me no, I would probably walk out or, you know, punch the fella and then leave. It's a lot to ask. Yeah. You got to build up.

I don't think anyone should ever ask that to be honest. No. But in the middle of all this horror and perversion, Paul and Carla were still planning a wedding. It's a wedding. Oh my God. They're talking burner plates in between all this bullshit. Yeah, buddy.

They're doing all of this shit. Oh, so they're like literally like, oh, how do we go out there and commit another horrible, horrible crime? And what do you think about the napkins? I don't like purple. This is what I'm talking about, man. Oh my fucking God. I'm so sick.

This episode is disgusting. The compartmentalization that happens here is some of the wildest shit I've ever seen. Honestly, we have an appointment with the wedding planner at 11 AM. Don't forget that. We see this a lot in a lot of serial killers, a lot of guys, right? They always kind of compartmentalize. They live one life. They do another.

But you know, you kind of see the sinister kind of pour into one and then the other. I think it all kind of poisons each other in a way. The videotape from their wedding is just, it's so atrocious because also it's everybody acting like nothing's wrong. It's everybody acting like it's a perfectly normal wedding. Obviously everyone's more than the death of Tammy. Like do people know that Carla and Paul are fucking psycho? No.

They eat, no. They don't know. They do not. Well, they know. They know it's dark. The homocles had sniffed out that Paul was a monster of some kind. Okay. They didn't know that he and Carla had killed Tammy.

And they also thought it was fucking weird how both Paul and especially Carla were insisting that the wedding go on despite Tammy's death. Tammy died on Christmas and they're like, no, no, no, wedding's in June. Gonna be happening in June, gotta happen in June. Like six months later. You know. I have a letter that Carla wrote to her friend about the planning of the wedding. This is the week after Tammy died.

Ah, fuck my parents. They're being so stupid, only thinking of themselves. My father doesn't even want us to have a wedding anymore. He thinks we should just go to city hall. Screw that. We're having a good time. If he wants to sit at home and be miserable, he's welcome to. Well, his daughter is dead.

He's welcome to do it. Right. He hasn't worked except for one day since Tammy died. He's wallowing in his own misery and fucking me. All right. It sounds awful on paper, but I know you'll see what I'm saying. Tammy always said last year, right, that she won in a forest. Tammy always said last year.

Tammy always said last year, she said that she won in a forest green patch. I can just see her slowly becoming a leprechaun. Tammy always said last year, right. She won in a forest green patch, right, for her 16th birthday. Now, my dad keeps saying, I would have bought it for her. I would have bought it for if I'd only known. Well, that's bull. If he really felt like that, he'd be paying for my wedding because I could die tomorrow

or next year or whatever. He's such a liar. I don't know, Carla. It just seems like your priorities might be a little bit wrong. She's a psycho bitch. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the family just kind of suggested like, hey, do you think maybe Paul should

move out for a little while? Yeah, that might also be a very good idea. While we heal, Carla flipped out, took it as a personal attack. How dare you do this to us? You know that we have to be together. So by the end of January, about a month after Tammy died, Carla and Paul moved out and rented a house in the Port Dahlhousie neighborhood of St. Catherine's. And I fucking looked that up.

If you say that I fucking pronounced Port Dahlhousie wrong, I'm going to say I looked it up and I'm doing my fucking best. God damn it. I look up every single fucking word that I'd say in an entire goddamn fucking episode every single time. For fuck's sake, there are only so many hours in the day. Ontario is different. But this is...

Fuck, I don't know, man. That's why I like it in here. I like it in... I like it in Marcus too. Game over, man. Game over, man. It's game over, man. Well, the reason why they moved to Port Dahlhousie was because Carla said Tarano had too many

immigrants. Yeah. She was also racist. She was also racist. Tarano had too many immigrants for Carla and Paul. Yeah. But the... Oh my God.

But the location of their new house was more about Paul's side hustle than proximity to Carla's family. Because they needed to pay for their own place and because St. Catharines was near the border crossing at Niagara Falls, Paul went full time as a cigarette smuggler. So cool. What a cool fucking nothing like... I mean, they're legal. Taking butts over the border.

I don't know. I mean, it's just... It's just... It's a legal thing. So it doesn't really... It's just smuggled. You don't fucking get it, dude. American cigarettes are rad.

Okay? Yeah. Canadian cigarettes suck. People want the carrots. I think it was Canadian coming to America, wasn't it? Yeah, dude. He's smuggling Canadian cigarettes to America. Do you not remember buying the fucking...

When you get bootleg cigarettes at the bodegas here in New York, they sometimes have the Canadian stamp on them? Sometimes it's in Russian or Slovakia. I remember my father getting the Romanian Marlboro lights when hundreds that he got ordered from some website. He got online that were all like... It was called like Marska Skarsk, and there was just like filled with fiberglass and shit. Yeah.

Well... Paul would do two to three trips a day over the border, smuggling Canadian cigarettes in the door panels of his gold Nissan 240SX. Can you please say leased gold Nissan 240SX because he didn't have enough money to purchase it? Oh my God. Didn't anyone notice? I guess he was going through a border that didn't have a security check, but at some

point you're like, oh yeah, keep on, you coming forth a lot, coming back a lot. On a good day, he could stuff 60 cartons of cigarettes and six forties in the doors behind the speakers. I don't know who he's bootlegging forties to though. You can get forties here. Yeah. Fucking idiots. They're just coming from...

Honestly, it sounds like... Children. I also think a lot of this was through literally kids. Is he delivering all of this stuff? Is he delivering all this stuff to Heathcliff? Because literally this is what bad cats would order. I also got a trash can filled with fish skeletons and I've got a whole bunch of newspapers for these kids to sleep on and some page boy hats.

This guy is such a wannabe, much like vanilla ice, isn't he? He's doing a wholesale to somebody. This is the most trailer park boys that he could possibly be. This is trailer park boys in hell. Yeah, it is. To hide all these smokes, Paul stuffed Carla's used black pantyhose around the panels, so if the customs agents peered in, they'd see nothing but black. Yeah, many times he'd sit there and be like, you can go ahead and check if you want.

Go ahead. Go take a look at the speakers then. And since the customs agents were just as charmed by Paul as the police were, the only time he ever came close to getting caught was when he trusted a friend to do the run. That guy wasn't as smooth. As it was, Paul was clearing $15,000 a month smuggling smokes when he was at the top of his game. Okay.

And with all this money coming in, Paul and Carla could stay on track for their upcoming June wedding. As far as wedding gifts went, Carla had very specific and very rude instructions. She wrote. The only thing we really need or want are one, a dust buster, two, China, three. You want the country of China. If you're being generous, three, crystal, four, money. We really don't need anything.

Oh my God. Plus, you know how picky we are. And as for wedding gifts, please try to let people know that we want money. If they say things like, oh, we don't believe in giving money, you tell them to go take a flying fuck. All right, they wanted money. Oh yeah, because Paul said, if I spend $50 a plate, I expect to get $100 per person. My goal for this wedding, 50 grand.

He wants to make. This man is the dumbest motherfucker I've ever heard. He thought he was going to make money off of his wedding. This is what same people do weddings for, though. Like, we're of the generation that doesn't really do gifts, but most people do. Yeah, they don't do it to make money off of the wedding. You'd be surprised. There's no way.

It doesn't work that way. Weddings can be corrupt. Yeah. But while Carla was making her demands, Paul became more invested in his music career, telling people that he specifically wanted to be the next big white rapper just like Vanilla Ice, even though Vanilla Star was fading fast. That means there's room for me. Well, I'm sorry.

He's no uncle cracker. He's not going to make it. No, he doesn't. He doesn't go around this time with sniffing around some gas pumps working out and getting his brain ready to rap. No uncle cracker. No, everlast. That's for damn sure.

No. House of Pain's not calling him up. No. Everlast technically good play guitar. Yeah? I think is it everlast or everclear? Yeah, everlast. Everlast.

No, everlast. No, no, no, no. What is that guy? Yeah, exact. I remember that. Oh, yeah. Smoked a fine as nugs. Yeah.

That was great. Yeah, he was in House of Pain. He was. He was cool. Of course, moving away from Scarborough had done nothing to stop Paul from raping women out in the open, just like he'd done in Scarborough. And the police near the border were no more adept at catching him than Detective Irwin was in Scarborough.

In fact, as far as Detective Irwin was concerned, he was thinking Christ that it was all over. It's all over. Yeah. Well, since Paul moved, Scarborough rapes had ended. So, you know, kind of wrapped itself up, didn't it? It really did. Isn't that crazy how it works there in Deputy? Jesus.

Yeah. When he just sat there and be like, well, that's over. It's over. You didn't do anything. You didn't do anything to stop it. Good police work doesn't take action because when it comes down to it, people are just afraid of the police and eventually once they're done with their little crimes, they stop. Inaction is action, isn't it?

Yeah. It's almost like when we're not working, we are working. Interesting. Wow. So, Paul didn't slow down in any way and neither did Carla. For a wedding gift, Carla decided to get Paul another Tammy as she put it and she remembered a former number one pet center coworker known only as Jane who was 15 and just happened to look a lot like Tammy.

Now, Carla believed that Tammy had died because they'd given her drugs on a full stomach. I eat the food reacted with the sedatives and caused her to vomit, which is why it's a bad idea for patients to eat anything prior to a surgery and food don't mix well. Okay. So, with Jane, Carla and Paul made sure that she had an empty stomach before she came over to the house and on June 7th, Carla invited her over to watch Ghost so the grooming could begin. I wonder how many different assaults happened because someone had a pottery wheel in their

home during this time period? Yeah, I mean really at this time it was more about being able to rent Ghost. I remember in 1991 it was impossible to find that movie at the video store. It was a hit. People loved it. They got aroused by it. They did? Yes, they did.

No, and that guy was dead so that he didn't actually have to deal with them. Yeah. He would make them orgasm. That's what he did. It's nice to hear. Well, if he could move the coin up, he could find your clit. Exactly. That's all you got to do.

No, in that visit, Jane did get sick from being drugged, but she didn't die. In fact, she returned, although her mother was a bit curious as to why two people in their 20s wanted to so badly hang out with a 15-year-old girl. Yeah, dude. It's almost like it's a red flag. It's almost like, hey, why are we doing this? Hey, why don't you don't do this? 35, 25, sure.

45, 35, fantastic. 25, 15 is massive. Yeah, 45, 15. They better be an apprentice. They better be your child. By the second visit, though, the dosage had been adjusted correctly, and using the video camera, Paul and Carla reenacted the same sex play they'd done with Tammy, just without the death at the end.

Honey, did you mail in the funniest video to America's Funniest Home Videos? Oh, yeah, definitely. Absolutely. Wait a second. That's me getting hit in the nuts. What video did we send? What video did we send to say it? It's awesome.

Oh, my God. Meanwhile, just Saga being like, oh, like, just Saga. That's funny. America's Funniest Home Video. Oh, this is from Canada? We can't show this. We can't show this. They would have won.

They would have won. Five from your grave. Unfortunately, the same girl Liz at the end scenario could not be said about 14-year-old Leslie Mahaffey. About a week after they abused Jane for the first time, Paul happened upon Leslie, a troubled teen and frequent runaway. Her story makes me obviously sad about what happened to her, but it's also just this thing too, was that because she was known as like a partying kid, they immediately were like,

oh, she's, she kind of asked for this, which is even worse. See by June of 1991, Paul's confidence was at its highest level. He'd moved on from the vanilla ice look and was now affecting a Baywatch style. Athletic, well-muscled, tanned, complete with a head of feathered blonde hair, buzzed on the sides. Oh yeah, because he also, he only worked out his top half because he said working your legs is gay. That's true.

And then him and the Smyrny's, you remember the Smyrny's, the other two guys, they were all doing this bit. And the other two, like Paul could like sort of pull it off. The other two were essentially, it's just Dan Ackeroid and John Candy, if you put them in these looks, right, like, and so it's him with these, his two fucking goons walking around in slow motion, acting like David Hasselhoff, when they are just the biggest fucking dumbest doinks in Canada, where's the beach, fucking 3000 miles south. Remember they went to Florida, they love going to Fort Lauderdale.

They were big Fort Lauderdale people. And so when Paul happened upon Leslie Mahaffey one summer night after she'd been locked out of her house, Paul had no trouble convincing her to get in his car. And this is a thing, a detail I want to bring up is a warning to all parents. This was done because the mother gave her an ultimatum saying, well, if you're late, one more time, I'm going to lock the door so that you can't get in the house. And so Leslie Mahaffey was coming home late. She had locked the doors to the house so that she couldn't get back in.

And then Leslie Mahaffey sitting there, she's all alone, doesn't know what to do. She tries to call a friend to go some other place, can't get there. She's hanging, she's hanging outside of a pay phone. Here comes to these people, very good looking, normal quote unquote guy, Paul Bernardo, pulling up in his fancy sports car, being like, why don't you come with me? Offering her a cigarette. Yes. As soon as she was inside the car, Paul pulled a knife and made her cover her head with a

red sweater while he drove her to his and Carla's home. And it's here that we once again move into Gold Star territory. We've been there. I think we've been there. We've been there. And now we're going to continue to be. Okay. Double dip.

They arrived together at 3 a.m. after Carla had already gone to bed. But when they arrived, Carla woke up to watch the beginnings of Paul's abuse. And since I suppose she just wasn't up for it that night, she left and went back to bed when Paul began videotaping Leslie while she urinated. But when Carla woke up again after Paul had been raping this young girl all night, she wasn't angry or horrified for the obvious reasons. Instead, she was pissed that Paul had used her good champagne flutes because Paul had been feeding Leslie champagne all night to facilitate more urination.

And that is not an exaggeration. I watched the footage of her interrogation, like when she first came in to give her statement. And that is the main contention point that she brings up in the middle of this investigation. She's like, we even even had a chance to use those flutes on our own. Those are for our honeymoon. Yeah. But there's a lot of other problems. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. Not the dishes, I don't think. Well, after she woke up, she bypassed the horror and walked their dog, a rottweiler named Buddy. Then she came back home and read the newly released book, American Psycho. All while Paul continued torturing Leslie Mahaffey throughout the day and night. She was so bored by it.

Yeah. And Leslie's mother called the police that morning when her daughter didn't show up. But since cops had gotten calls about the Mahaffey kid before and since they picked her up a time or two for drinking, they just ignored the report completely. Meanwhile, once Carla was done reading, she joined in on the rape. As it was shown on video in court, Carla made Leslie give Paul a rim job while Carla gave him a hand job, all while they listened to Superman by R.E.M. Now, according to what Carla later told police, Bernardo supposedly said after midnight that

night that they had to kill Leslie because they'd gone too far. And there was no way they were getting away with this one if they let her live. Hamulka claimed that they gave Leslie two sleeping pills and watched her pass out. Then Bernardo took some electrical cord, wrapped it around Leslie's neck and pulled until she died. She had started coming out of her nose and ears. Oh, horrible. Horrible.

Yeah. Horrible. Horrible. There's also, it is really interesting that you will talk about the, well, what you brought up last episode about the idea of them being sexual sadists that end up in murder is really interesting because they don't like dealing with the body at all. They don't take any pleasure with dealing with the body. They have to, it's immediately become a hassle.

Yeah. Like where they're like, all right, now what the fuck do we do? Baccarla also claimed that Paul had beaten Leslie to a pulp over the course of the two days they'd kept her imprisoned at their house. Baccarla's version of events gets a little wobbly when you look at the forensics. The postmortem didn't indicate any of the usual signs of strangulation, although to be fair, future events would make this difficult to ascertain. But regardless, the pathologist said that Mahaffey was not beaten.

The only thing coming close to that sort of physical violence was two equidistant asymmetrical subcutaneous bruises on either side of her back, which implied that someone had been kneeling forcefully. Now, we'll never know just how Mahaffey died, but what we do know is that Carla's parents came to the Bernardo home the evening after the murder while the body was still in the house. Yeah, man, this gets really fucked up because they have descended into full madness together, but then their surface level is so squeaky clean.

It's so weird because the one thing that anybody knew about them was that Carla kept a teddy and a dog collar up in her room that she intimated all the time being like, Paul likes it rough. And that was the thing that they all just kind of thought that that was it. And then when Carla first started telling her friends that they did a lot of anal sex, right, her friends then said, oh, you guys are crazy, but that's as far as they knew. That's whatever. That's fine.

Yeah. And there were some people that would notice like, you know, she had bruises sometimes and shit like that, but it wasn't anything. It certainly wasn't to this level. No one even came close to thinking it was to this level. From what the Malkas remembered about that evening, the dinner was normal and all Paul talked about with setting up a sound studio in service of his non-existent rap career. Yeah.

That's Paul. He's still pursuing his dream. That's his thing that he talks about all the time. I mean, you know, I'm going to be the next better than I. Well, you know me. I am with my lyrics. You know, you should even see me dance. I don't want to see that ever.

Listen, I learned this new song the other day. It's called the macaroni. And these guys out there, they do all sorts of things with their hands. Macarena? No. I think that's Spanish for macaroni. And these guys, they move their hands so fast. It's dizzying.

It is. Yeah. It's almost as if there's no way the entire country in the world can do this dance. No way. You have to really guide them through the lyrics. So after dinner, Bernardo and Hamulka had to decide what they were going to do with the body in the basement. They decided on a fairly creative, if ultimately unsuccessful technique involving a power saw

and 11 bags of concrete. To be honest. Geez. They were creative. It was stupid. I think what they tried to do, they thought about it too hard and they're both very stupid. That's one thing I also want our audience to remember. All of this shit happened because the Canadian police couldn't fucking find their ass with

a fucking flashlight during this case. These two guys are not criminal masterminds. No. They fucking scarborough rapist. When he was scarborough rapist, he did it without a mask and many, many people tried to stop him and he couldn't and the police couldn't do it. This is also another one of those being like, they wouldn't do it. They wouldn't do it.

They could have done it in a fucking heartbeat. Yes. But you never know, man. I'll tell you one thing. Things have gone wrong when you have to say, what are we going to do to get rid of that body in the basement? That is a sign you have done something that is not good. You remember, no body, no crime.

That night, Paul and Carla taped up the windows in their basement and fashioned a tent with a tarp to catch any blood spatter. Then according to Carla's story, Bernardo used a power saw with a seven inch blade to cut Leslie Mahaffey's body into 10 pieces. Now, it is entirely possible that Paul was the only one who did all the cutting. But if you'll remember, Carla was involved in the surgeries and autopsies of animals at the Martindale Animal Clinic. And she just loved to say that animals were just like humans when it came to cutting them

up. That was one of the edgy shit that she liked to say. Actually, Carla, I wish you'd calmed down. You're going to be surprised how quickly the human body can come apart if you've got a power saw. Yeah. Carla, we're trying to sell parakeets. Okay?

Therefore, it is logical to assume that Carla had quite a bit of input on the dismemberment even if she didn't do the cutting itself. I would give her an executive producer credit. Okay. I would put Paul Bernardo as the lead and writer and that she came in, she gave him the guidance because Paul's a fucking moron. He had no clue how to do this shit. No, there's nothing in Paul's history to suggest that he had the knowledge to do something

like this on his own at all. Now, after each piece was cut away, arms, legs, hands, feet, and head, Carla washed each piece clean and put them in separate plastic bags. Once the job was done, the parts were carried to a root cellar where they were stored overnight. To dispose of the bloody tarps, Carla freely offered the locked biohazard dumpster behind the Martindale Animal Clinic because a blood-covered tarp in that dumpster wouldn't really raise a lot of red flags. What are you talking about?

What are they doing? Because that's breaking their own fucking tarps from home. They kill a lot of animals. I guess they do. They shouldn't be. They shouldn't be killing the animals. They do. I mean, that's what happens.

They die. They do. They happen to die in there, but they shouldn't be killing them. I think it would be weird if they found a giant tarp behind them a bit. Buddy, you just drive the dumpster. You got to get back for, I don't know. I'm not talking about the dumpster, man. The dumpster man has nothing to do with it.

It's Pickleback Thursdays at McGuillies. Oh, I know. If you're a dumpster, man, it's a long day no matter what the day is. Absolutely. You got to get the job over with. Throw the tarp in the back and let's go. After disposing of the tarps, it was then time to get the cement. While Carla was at work, Paul went to a store called Beaver Lumber and told the clerks

that he was building a deck. I'm building a goddamn deck and I need some goddamn concrete, you fucking beavers. You're building a concrete deck. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Okay. Don't tell me how to build a concrete deck that doesn't exist. Well, I'm sure we'll use wood. You're trying to trick me into something.

Okay. Well, they told me if you really wanted to do the job right, though. Of course. Of course. Of course they did. They did 22 60 pound bags of concrete mix, 60 pound bags, 60 pounds each, 22 bags. Once he was back in the basement, he mixed the concrete and constructed eight cement boxes between Monday morning and Wednesday evening to probably the hardest he ever worked

in his shitty little life. Probably. Well, the plan was to encase each body part in concrete, paint the concrete block black and toss each one into Lake Gibson, where they would presumably never be seen again. Wouldn't that just preserve the body part? Well, I don't want to talk about it. It just doesn't work. No.

Either way, the plan didn't work. Okay. Yeah. But as it turned out, the job didn't take all 22 bags of concrete. So Paul returned the remaining 12 bags to Beaver Lumber and made a big stink about the clerk's overestimating his needs. He went and pulled a, he did this fucking meltdown just being like, you oversold me concrete.

Oh my God. You try to come here and tell me how much concrete I need. I'll tell you how much concrete I'm bringing back. And they're all like, oh, buddy, whoa, there, buddy, you want to hold your horses there. We already spent that concrete money on buying more wood. We're going to have to cancel our show in Vancouver. Just joking. We love the Canadian people.

Before they disposed of the blocks, Paul and Carla had to find just the right dump and spot at Lake Gibson. They drove out one night with first the power saw, the cardboard used to catch all the extra blood during the dismemberment and the empty concrete bags. Now the saw was the first thing to toss because the saw was gummed up with tissue and blood. That thing was useless. And you try to smash it up with a hammer. Yeah.

And then he couldn't, when he couldn't smash it up with a hammer, he just got angry and just chunked it in the fucking water. Oh, enough with you. Next they burned the cardboard and the empty cement bags. Then they commemorated the occasion by having sex on the spot where they would dump the body of Leslie Mahaffey. Again, stupid. So stupid.

Very, very, very stupid. Because if anybody came by you while you were having sex out on the spot, while you're covered in blood, while all of the evidence is everywhere, what are we doing here? I know it's goth time, but honestly, like think about criminal, think about being a criminal for a second. No. I don't think they were thinking. No, they weren't.

And there's just going to be fuck up after fuck up after fuck up on this and none of them matter. That's the most insane thing. Well, their fuck ups matter, not a single one. Now, Paul was able to handle the individual body parts, but the block containing the torso weighed over 200 pounds. Yeah, because if you think about how the concrete weighs, like it weighs a lot. They did the whole torso in a thing of concrete.

It was it. This is all so stupid. When he and Carla were carrying up the stairs together, they dropped it. The block cracked and it began leaking fluid. Oh, God. Oh, God. Thinking quickly, Bernardo wrapped the leaky part in a garbage bag. That's what you got to do here.

That's how you handle this one. You got to wrap it up here. Yeah, threw it in the car and drove it to the lake. Now the individual body parts were fine to toss into the spot they'd originally picked out, but the torso block was again too large. So they drove it to another spot and pushed it off a bridge. Only problem with this is that since it was a nighttime disposal, Paul and Carla didn't notice the bridge pilings below.

The block, therefore, hit the structure and cracked open, leaving the torso to freely float away. All the work is gone. All their bullshit is gone. Now even if the torso block hadn't cracked on the piling, Leslie Mahaffey's body still would have been discovered. See Carla and Paul's plan wasn't as clever as they thought it was. You think?

Because Lake Gibson was a damned lake. They're the dumbest motherfucking pieces of shit. They're fucking morons. They're also bad at crying. The water rose and fell, you know, like on a regular basis. Therefore the blocks were discovered two weeks later by a fisherman named Bill Grekel. Yeah, that's not the first bodies I found. I find, honestly, I've been fighting about 15 bodies a day and these cops, they just

kind of put them on a pallet and take them away and I just think they're collecting them. It sounds like they are. The Bill noticed a two foot by one foot concrete block in the shallow depths and when he opened it, he found a human thigh. By 11 p.m. the lake was swarming with cops and all seven of the appendage blocks had been found. The torso was the only thing missing, but that was found the next morning by a fisherman

named Michael Ducey who used his fishing pole to keep the torso from drifting away until the police arrived. Now you can't take this catch from me, all right? I have a license and this fits the parameters. No, no, no, I caught it in this here lake and I'm bringing it to put into my game room. You will not. This is my fishing liberty. The torso was this big.

You don't need to lie, fisherman. Now the Leslie Mahaffey murder was caught by Niagara police and when a composite sketch was done of a man seen in the area around the time of Mahaffey's disappearance, the sketch looked just like the Scarborough rapist and therefore looked just like Paul Bernardo. All right, so the cops are getting warm. They're really stiffening out. Fucking asshole. Nice.

They said, the way the cops, their estimation about the Scarborough rapist, right, because then they try to say it's like, oh, it's probably the same guy and they're like, there's no way. Okay. Why not? No, you don't understand. I know a lot of guys, all right? To rape and murder, that's gross.

Nobody does embo. No one ever does embo. It's like a baseball player never plays professional football at the same time he's playing professional baseball. Yeah, well, Dionne Sanders did that. You know that he was a myth that is an urban myth that has been debunked on Snopes. Bojack. He's never been.

But since, you know, that's the thing about the Scarborough rapist case, Detective Irwin had completely given up on keeping the case alive. Oh yeah. When do they just become complicit? Technically, I believe that they will, well, next episode, we'll talk about how they did technically, all of this made them go into a massive investigation of the Toronto police. And thank you to all the good cops out there and detectives who work tirelessly to bring justice to victims because these are not them.

No, Detective Irwin, he wasn't making any calls. He wasn't sending out the sketch to other departments and it's not like fucking Niagara is a million, is on the other side of Canada from Toronto, it's in the same fucking province. Just like an hour away. It's just his job. Yeah. Yeah. So no links were made between Leslie Mahaffey's murder and the Scarborough rapist, even though

they were one and the same. Well, what's truly insane is that Leslie Mahaffey's body was actually discovered on the same day that Paul Bernardo and Carla Hamulca got married. Somebody get married. They must have added a lot of stress to the day. No. Not at all. Not at all.

Not at all. The day was already stressed enough. It was. You know, Carla Hamulca did not make any reservations until the last minute. Wedding was not a festive affair. Everyone was very edgy. Really? I don't know why.

What did they have to eat? I'm guessing spaghetti for some reason. No, actually what they ate was the meal was chosen specifically by Paul Bernardo because he wanted only the finest and so everything had a very grand affair and the meals that everyone was served was peasant stuffed with veal, which I've never heard of, right? I think you mean pheasant stuffed with veal. Peasant stuffed with veal is an entirely different meal. That's what I would be eating if this was 1200.

That would be stuffed with veal. But also this is a description of the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom, the knight of their wedding. This is deadly in a sense. This is what this man decided to describe this poor, this poor woman. I know way. Paul's mom. Yes.

Marilyn Bernardo's ill-fittin' mauve dress stuck to her lumpy body in an unflattering manner, leaving the distinct impression that she wasn't wearing a slip underneath. Her dark short hair was slick, matted to the side of her head. From early in the wedding day there had been speculation about whether she had washed it at all or had simply left it to dry haphazardly in the humidity. One couple, friends of the bride, suggested unkindly that Marilyn looked as if she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. On her left leg was a white cast, which clomped noisily as she drew closer to the head table.

She roast-mowed on the mom. Oh my God. She made Paul Bernardo, so whatever. I mean, the Hamokas weren't doing much better. They weren't even on speaking terms with Paul at this point. Have you been, Henry, did you see the fucking picture of them and their princess die, the Prince Charles? The whole carriage, the white carriage and white horses, and she's in her very grand

dress and he looks like a rapist and they are just going to the wedding. But once the wedding was over and done with, Carla and Paul immediately went on a honeymoon to Maui. And in true shitbag fashion, they raped a woman on their honeymoon. Jesus. They didn't even take a break. It doesn't even fucking matter at this point. Of course they fucking did.

These psychopaths. I will say, this is how deeply entrenched the behavior had become. It became very normal behavior for them. It sounds like they just do it like they go to the opera. That's why it feels like, that's why you, it's disgusting. The idea that Carla Hamoka wasn't like involved partially doesn't make any fucking sense. The both of them were, this was a behavior that now had become a part of their day to day.

Disgusting. When they were being picked up at the airport by Carla's parents, they were told all about the body parts found at Lake Gibson because the information had finally been released to the public. Remember, they were found on the day that they got married, it took a few days. No one wanted to ruin the day. No, of course you don't want to ruin all the raping they were doing during their honeymoon. Are they the kind of people that get off on the paranoia and all of the, or they still

like, so they don't like the attention. They thought that they committed the perfect crime. Yeah. I don't get it. I put the concrete, yeah, the torso came out, but anybody sees a torso. Torsos are everywhere. They've been in New York City. I mean, Carla and Paul were shocked that the body had been found at all, shocked, but after

the police just didn't show up to even question them, Carla and Paul got back to business as usual. And now they were committing their crimes as a married couple. Oh, commitment's nice. Yeah, I guess. While they looked out for a new sex slave, they amused each other by having Carla strip outside on the lawn while Paul looked out the window and masturbated, watching her dance around and as invisible darkness put it, bump and grind.

Bump and grind. Oh, bump and grind, yeah. They are really obsessed with certain things that they don't like in Canadian books and any one of these, all of the books, they all say, they don't like when people dance suggestively. They really always been like, oh, and they were just hopping around like a bunch of humpers. There's that. And also, you know, what the book is really fixated on, especially Deadly Innocence? How many hair colors that Carla dared have in her life and how that showed she was an

unstable person? Oh, that's what it was. You're looking to get tell because, you know, one day she's pink, the next day she's blonde. Who are we talking to? Wow. Can you even trust her? Deadly Innocence is also particularly fixated on soundtracking the rapes. When I mentioned R.E.M., like R.E.M.

SuperMap, that's just like one of the, like they always made sure to say exactly what song was playing in the background, I guess, to put you in the moment. I don't get it. You know what it does, though, in a way is that it kind of shows you the normalization of the things that they were doing, that they could put a soundtrack on the background to do all of this heinous shit. It also shows you an artist once they create the art and once it's out in the world, it's out of their control.

Is it somebody else? No. Because I don't think R.E.M. I don't think that Scott, or Scott Stapp, Scott Stapp. He wanted this attention. No. If you ask Scott Stapp, he's like, I honestly feel like my song could have been really used in the soundtrack, but honestly, I don't know if I'd get royalties or anything.

He would have loved it. Yeah, no. It just hard to do with thinking about finding a woman because all my songs are about having your arms open. Yeah, Michael Stapp, I don't think he wrote the song for that. No. But it's also, it does give it a creepier feeling because when we talk about Bob Burdella, and you think about him listening to Mort Garson, listening to Black Mask for Lucifer,

that creates a certain atmosphere. That's what you expect. You don't expect Bowie in a moment like this. Because also, this is the 90s, baby. This is 1991, so it's the core of all of this shit, of all this fucking cheesy ass shit. They loved every minute of it. They were obsessed with pop culture, so they had everything that was new. They were into whatever was top 40 radio at the time, and they were both dressed as

super preppies. Paul then began following around a girl named Rachel, who was well aware that a guy in a Nissan 240SX was following her around. But despite the fact that she wrote down his license plate and took it to the cops, said this guy followed me around for three hours the other night, no one even contacted Paul. What the fuck honestly? They didn't even question, that questioning isn't even a fucking, that's not even a part of it.

Do you remember, he was already questioning them, anything else going on? Where the cops are like, we are just so stressed, we can't deal with this. What else was happening? I heard that there was a shortage of Timmy's at the time, and they knew that without Timmy's, if there's no Tim Hortons, there's no Toronto. Someone's farting on everybody's Putin. We gotta fightin' these beans! Oh my good, this is crazy.

But when Paul called the police to tell them there had been a burglary at the Bernardo home, they came running. Oh my god, a white man's been robbed, we've got a goal. We better. We've got a goal. See Paul was running an insurance scam, and he'd taken out a policy in June and figured I'd spent a month, let's get this scam going, and he called the cops in July. Once the constable showed up, Paul provided a detailed list of expensive technology and

jewelry that had alas, disappeared, cameras, computers, fuckin' recording mixers, gold rings, diamonds, cash, all in all, Bernardo was reporting $30,286 in losses. That's down to the penny, you can see right here, and that's not even the emotional quotient, you have an idea of how it is. I'm a rapper, and every minute I'm not rappin', those rhymes, they go into the aether. That's right, you're frowning, and rappers, they need jewelry, they need this. I have to have it. I know you do.

I need microphones, I need knee pads. I don't even want to know how you're trying to make it in the end. I'm losin' money. Okay. Now the constable who took the report was actually suspicious of Paul's claims. Okay, finally. But ironically, this constable was also investigating the Leslie Mahaffey case and wanted to get back to it.

So he ignored all the red flags and filed the paperwork to make Paul's claim official. Well, he might as well give up some money. Yeah. It's just unbelievable. Yes. Well, he just, I mean, I think that one, I don't really judge a whole bunch because this guy is thinkin' like, I got a fuckin' murder to solve, why am I wasting my time with this fuckin' asshole with the blonde hair?

Because you're lookin' at the murderer. Yeah, he does know that. Also, you're looking at all- Yeah, I know if you don't have any sympathy for the guy. I think that these are, wow, these people are very bad. You have so many composite sketches that look just like the man you're talking to. Any other profession, any other profession where they acted like this truck driver's just driving in the ditch, any other McDonald's employee who serves you a frickin' whopper-

Hands like a human hand. No, he's a human hand. Whenever, like, anyone else is fired. Yeah. Now, I mean, this guy specifically, he didn't have the sketch in his hand. Like he's just one cop that's tryin' to fuckin' do the best he can. He's tryin' to solve that fuckin' murder. And to be fair, the cops in Niagara, I mean, they did better than the cops in Toronto did.

They did their level best in the investigation of the Leslie Mahatchey's death and dismemberment. The Browns are doing better than the Jaguars. They both fuckin' suck. I mean, what are we even doing here? Congratulations. I don't know. Yeah, they did their job. That's what we're supposed to do now, man.

You're supposed to congratulate someone just for doing their base job. Yeah. Well, they determined that the cement blocks had been made using QuickMix, and they even traced the cement to the correct Beaver Lumber Outlet. Okay? I don't know if you can see how many Beaver Lumbers there are in Canada. I don't even want to fucking know. I don't even want to know.

I think there's literally 1.2 million Beaver Lumbers. Wow. But since Paul had been paid in cash, the cops hit a dead end. And I don't know. What about the Jackass that delivered a return 12 of the fuckin' things? Oh, well, he's takin', we went to go talk to him and he was takin' a nap, so we didn't want to wake him up. You know how hard it is to catch a nap these days.

Tell me. You're sleeping right now. Oh, sorry. No, I have narcolepsy. Oh, is that right? Yeah. That might explain the lack of work. More like narcolepsy.

Whatever. Go do something else. All right, I'm gonna play pinball. John Tim, you gave me permission. Quit being a cop, I'm sayin'. Quit being a cop. No, I mean, I don't know here whose fault this is. It might have been that the cops just talked to the guys and were like, oh, you paid cash?

Ah, fuck. Okay, sorry, we're not gonna catch that guy. They might just not- Don't even tell me what he looks like. Yeah. Don't even tell me. I don't even want to hear it. Oh, no, you're sturting to talk.

That sounds almost like a lead. We didn't want to hear it. No, no, no. You're being nosy. Tell me what he looks like, a police officer. But it could also be that the guys at Beaver Lumber didn't have the best memories. They might not have been able to, like, I don't know, some guy came and he bought- You're looking at five people all not doing their jobs.

It's like all five people are like, ah, well, you're a wood, huh? You'd be like, yeah, that's some of what we sell. You know, Beaver Lumber actually kind of denies the fact that sometimes we sell tile, and I mean, we closed four hours ago because I'm very hungry. We all know Lumber people never forget. I don't know, Matt. I mean, I still, I always think of that mall that we wandered into in Toronto that was, I think, the worst constructed building I've ever been in my entire life.

Toronto. I remember. I remember talking about this. It was like the most haphazard, lazily constructed thing I've ever seen. Nothing made sense. Everything was fucked up, and it was supposed to be the nicest fucking neighborhood in the entire city. It's part of the fun.

It's a part of the fun. You're supposed to be confused. You're traveling. But with a seeming dead end with the concrete, cops focused on the black paint and determined that it was a kind used mostly to paint engines and motors. They were correcting this. It was industrial paint. Eventually, they linked the paint to a steel mill which employed a sexual deviant named

Jonathan Yeo. I did not do these crimes. Yeo had his own problems though. He killed himself after failing to pass through US customs following the disappearance of a teenager in Burlington, which Yeo might have had something to do with that. He might have it. He might have. You know, he don't know.

He's gone now. His luck would have it though. Yeo lived right next door to another suspect in the Mahaffee case. How good is that luck? It just happened to be a guy next door. That was a man named John Peter Stark. John Peter Stark was also suspected of murdering his daughter's best friend. Stark unfortunately fled as well and the cops were back to square one.

Yeah, we're not even going to look for him. There's so many ways to, but honestly, he ran and I am tired. Yeah, I know. I can't be running all over the place again. There's the Timmy shortage. I know. Someone saw a moose and I just got to go look at it myself. You're going to want to see the moose.

I have to look at it. No one can see a moose alone. It's bad luck. It's not the smallest moose. It's not the biggest moose. It's a mid-sized moose. It's just a moose. Yeah, you'll love that.

It's a tumble-mute moose. We went up there to go take a look at this moose. You wouldn't even fucking believe it. It was just a deer with a bunch of tumors on it. Oh, wow. Yeah, so then I shot it in the head. I see. Yeah, it was fun.

We've got to use this gun for something. Thanks for solving all the murders and everything else. Was there a murder? Yeah, I understood a couple. So with the cops chasing their tails, Carla and Paul returned to a past victim, namely Jane from number one pet center. See Halcyon and Halothane are like most other date rape drugs and that the victim often doesn't remember what happened.

And so Jane didn't remember what had happened to her the last time she hung out with Paul and Carla. And since she was only 15 and they were in their 20s, Jane probably trusted them a lot more than she should have. On August 10th, 1991, Carla and Paul overdid the Halothane again. Jane stopped breathing. They almost killed her. They called 911.

But when Bernardo got Jane breathing again before the ambulance arrived, Carla called them back to cancel the request. Now usually, it can't even fucking like an Uber eats like a... Yeah, seriously, it's like an Uber, honestly, and then you know these ambulance drivers who are like, oh, they're canceling. Great. Thank God. It's thank God.

I got to go and turn the video tape. You know the charge if you're late. Yeah, and it's actually due in two days, so I better get on with it. Oh my God, yeah. Oh, geez. Now usually emergency crews can't be canceled. They just show up. It's not any different in Canada.

As it is in America, you call an ambulance, it comes. But this time, guess the crew just didn't feel like it. Yeah. It's our Friday. I've been doing this all week. Since Wednesday. I've been working. That's only two days.

Yeah, man. Two full eight hour shifts a day. All right. So Paul and Carla were able to continue their nauseating crimes. Now one thing we mentioned in the first episode was DNA, and as I said, this was early days in the technology and the turnaround on a sample was massive because Canada had to send their samples to the United States for testing. So it took forever for the lab to compare the samples taken from the Scarborough rape

scenes to the samples they'd taken from possible suspects. Eventually, more than a year later, the lab was able to narrow it down to five possible matches. One of those samples belonged to Paul Bernardo. All right. We're getting there. We're getting there because Paul had given a sample of his own free will back when he was questioned.

I think partly because he was arrogant and partly because he probably didn't understand DNA. What it was. What he was given a sample to. He really did believe, like what people talk about with Wolf, Wolf of Wall Street and all that kind of shit, the idea of being a master of your own universe. I do think that he believed he had total control and there's no way anybody would catch him. And that was also partly why the cops were so enamored with them.

Like while he gave us the sample, no one who actually did the crime would ever give us a sample. Nobody with a flow like Paul has could ever be guilty of a crime. No street poet like Paul Bernardo could ever lie. Well I don't understand why they're taking samples in the first place. If they assume that anyone who gives a sample is innocent, then why are they taking samples? Because we have all these tubes. We have all these tubes.

You gotta do something with the tubes and the wipes. We gotta use all these wipes. The funny thing is with the Q-tip, it's actually not for your ear. No, it's for real. Apparently. It's for DNA. It's for DNA samples. But as the net was beginning to fall around Paul very slowly, for his crimes in Scarborough.

Yeah, very slowly. Police were trying and failing to form a profile for the person or persons responsible for the murder of Leslie Mahaffey. Just cut to them arresting Ice Ice Baby. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. Now the cops didn't do a terrible job with their profile, but they only got about a quarter of the way there.

Which I say quarter of the way is better than none. They at least were doing something. They did guess that two people were involved and they did guess that murder was secondary to the sexual crimes, but they had about three other assumptions that were completely wrong. They assumed that the killers were familiar with Lake Gibson. They weren't. They assumed that they were abusing drugs and alcohol. They weren't.

They were using drugs, but I would know if they would say abusing them. They weren't junkies. I don't think so. No, no, no, no. They weren't abusing. They were casual users. Yeah, they weren't on East Hastings Street, you know what I'm saying? No, no, no.

They had nice Canadian reference there. Thank you. And they also assumed that it was two men. And that where they were completely wrong as well. I don't even blame them on that one because it does seem to be, you would think. This is that's why it's very unusual where after, I mean, this is post hillside stranglers. There have been plenty. Chicago Rippers.

Yeah, there have been plenty of them as it turned out, perhaps unsurprisingly, the police would not have any role whatsoever in catching Paul and Carla for the murders. They wouldn't put that together until it was put together for them. And it's with that confession that we'll end our series on Paul Bernardo and Carla Hamulca. Next week, man, we're going to go to the heart of the female beast. We're going to talk a little bit more about Carla Hamulca and her idea of street justice. Also, we might talk a little bit about how Paul Bernardo was also a failed author. Yeah.

And I've been trying to find his book everywhere. I haven't been able to find it anywhere. It's hard to find it. And a little bit more of what it's like to be in the fucking center of the Canadian media's attention. All right. Super cops. They are not.

We will let you know what happens. Well, I think we all kind of know the conclusion here, but the gritty details. We'll talk about them on the next episode. Disgusting episode. These people are, in my mind, like Charles Ng and Leonard Lake. These people are just absolutely disgusting. Yes. And yeah, be very careful out there out there who you trust.

Especially not married couples. Yeah. I guess not. This is a good week to interrogate your married friends. And there's just no reason. You look at them and it's just like, there's just no reason for them to do it. They just did this. Well, yeah.

They're monsters. Sexual status. Yeah. And if you're single out there and you have a married couple approach you at the bar telling you how they like your vibe and they maybe want you to maybe go to our place. I don't know, man. Nothing good comes of that. Sometimes you just kind of suck the guy's dick first.

Get him, like, done. Like, you know, whatever it is, get him done. Get the man done or with at the top. And then you build up to the second come. Because I think the second come is where you get a rational man. You get the person in there who's in the pocket, somebody you can reason with. You know so much about the Swinger's Lifestyle. I know how it is, man.

You know how it is. Clits at the top, butts in the back. Back, yeah. Get the phone number of your local police. We can call them directly at a desk. Get a detective. Very sure. Just, of course, let a friend know.

If you're going to go bang a couple, let them know where you're at. And of course, again, be safe and watch out for the warning signs. Also, guys, sprinkle chat coffee. You know this is perfect time to plug it. You've been nailing the plugs. I've really been crushing it. Get that coffee. It's absolutely delicious.

Drink the cold brew all week. Shit my brains out. Love in every fucking minute of it. So plumber, thank you so much for purchasing it. When is book two coming out? I don't know. Fuck yeah. But we'll let you know as soon as it comes out.

About two and a half weeks. Three weeks. Yeah, mid-November, if you got the first issue, like if you're brand new to comic books, what you got to do when you go to the comic book store is you got to start a pull list. What you got to do with it. What you're doing wrong there. What you want to do. Is you want to get into that old book or do you want to really ask for it?

Pull list. Yeah, pull list. No, it's basically just a subscription and tell your store that you want sole plumber in there every single month. And if you missed the first printing, we're going to have a second printing that's going to be out, I believe November 19th or maybe November 12th, something like that. We'll let you know exactly when that's going to be, but you need to order that now. You need to get talk to your, call your local book store or go by there and order it now

to make sure you get yourself, to make sure you get hands on a copy. And then reserve issues two through six while you're at it. Because due to a misprint, it is not five issues as it says on the variant. It is six. It is absolutely six. All right. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you're doing well out there.

Keep on supporting everything here with the last podcast network. Our whole family is doing good. And do we have anything else support our weed line? We're at roots over here in LA, Weedon in San Diego, Weedon in San Diego, Hyderpath in Sherman Hooks. And we're excited.

We're going to get into the flower game at some point. And do we have anything else? We'll see you all on the road, but that's not going to be until early November. I think we're good. Oh, that's in space season two coming up. It's actually here. No, it's here. But right now we should have an episode two will be out of the Velvet Underground,

where we talk about John Kale and the Ovent Guard scene. And surprisingly, it is one of the best episodes I think we've ever done. Also, Deep Dives Dune is coming back with our review of the new Dune film, which we will talk about, which I have been mum about. Yes, you have. But you did like it. I want to save all my takes. You have to listen to it on the episode to get them.

I hate when you're peak, Nair. All right. You know what? You know, I'll know the other shows here. So thank you all so much for supporting us. We want to support you as much as we can as well. So tag me on Instagram or whatever if you have any Etsy work or whatever you want. We'll try to help you out with whatever small business you got.

OK, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Hail again. Congratulations. Hail me there, eh? When you give me a bit of a hail there, eh? Eh?

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