Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 472: Karla Homolka & Paul Bernardo Part III - Canadian Psycho

Episode Date: October 30, 2021

On the final episode of our series on the Barbie & Ken killers, the walls begin to close in on the murderous duo, but Karla still has one trick up her sleeve...Will Paul face punishment alone after Homolka's ruse?Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

Hey, what's up, everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, man. Yeah, bro. Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast of the last day. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have sativa, we have indica, and we have a hybrid, and I have to tell you, for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty, live resin. You really get the delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like, and three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show. We absolutely love you.

Can't wait to see you on the road and get that vape, put it in your brain, and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left, it's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes, he's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge.

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What was that? We've covered so many horrific things in the last two weeks. Like what? I know. I know. I mean, honestly, what a light trip through Canada this has been. But I will say this episode might feature some of the worst stuff we'll cover. And what I'm talking about is the rapping.

I'm talking about how much rapping has entered our world through Paul Bernardo's horrible, tinged worldview. Wow. Well, I'll tell you this. I'm Ben Kissel and I'm here to say welcome to the last podcast on the left, everyone. I am Ben Henry. Does it rhyme? Does it fucking rhyme? And Marcus?

No, that's just an intro. I'm Ben Kissel and I'm here to say I love cheese in a horny way. Yes, there we go. Rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip, rip. Well, you are as good as rap as that serial rapist Paul Bernardo. Yeah. Well, a compliment I did not expect to have today. OK, everyone, we are on to part three.

And as Henry said, trigger warning, be warned, gold star this episode. I mean, these guys are about as bad as it freaking gets. Carla Hamulca and Paul Bernardo. This war gets a gold star for cringe. Yeah. Now, when we last left Paul Bernardo and Carla Hamulca, the police were very, very slowly starting to close in on Paul as a suspect for the crimes he committed as the Scarborough rapist. But as far as Carla and Paul's two murders went, police couldn't have been further away

from pinning the kidnapping and dismemberment of Leslie Mahaffey on Paul and Carla. And Tammy Hamulca's murder had been ruled an accident by a lazy drunken coroner. First time, because I'm concerned she's she's alive. She is definitely dead. Yeah, but honestly, no way are we all dead because if you know you're going to die and honestly drink up, you know you're going to hang on and put that liquor down. You're going to be a friend. Yeah, Merry freaking Christmas.

Not to her family. Come on, that clock. Yeah, buddy, please, God, just do your job better next time. You're alive. No, she is dead. Police were so far off base investigating the murder of Leslie Mahaffey that they'd spent no less than four million dollars investigating the aforementioned Peter John Stark instead of anyone else naturally with no results.

What did they do? Have like a cardboard box and put a little poutine in it with a string of task and be like, yes, once he goes and grabs the poutine, we pull the string. He's in the box. Listen, if we go on a fishing trip this weekend and we just say the words are rest them, we can charge it back to the bureau. Four million bucks for what? For, you know, bait, shackle, you got bold rentals.

Now, when Carla and Paul's house was finally searched by the police long after this, investigators found a library of books in the hundreds that could easily be mistaken for our own research library here at Last Podcast on the left. But their motivation for reading these books and the charge they got out of them were starkly different from our own. Like we're trying to formulate over the last like 15 years or so, how to commit the perfect crime. What are they trying to do?

Henry, you supposed to. God damn it. We are studying human nature and psychotic nature and psychosis and like, what does it mean to be human? Oh, yeah, they are the ones trying to have the perfect, yeah, yeah. That's higher. Yes, I know what I'm talking about. That's higher.

You have all these books on mystery farters. How does how to hide poops from your wife? Well, in addition to numerous true crime books and serial killer biographies like the I five killer and the confessions of Henry Lee Lucas, Carla and Paul also owned a good number of satanic panic books like The Ultimate Evil by Maury Terry, which we speak of extensively in our current live show and come check us out in North Carolina. We're going to be there.

Charlotte, two weeks from this weekend. You got to check us out. And then Raleigh, that is in. Where's that in? Oh, yeah, we're going to be there. You got to check it out. We're going to be ripping all the way through the Carolinas in two weeks from now. Absolutely.

Can't wait to see you guys in the Carolinas. Get those tickets. Now, as I said, these books could be found in the library of any student of the Macabre. But what truly set Carla and Paul's library apart was a well-worn copy of the compendium of pharmaceuticals and specialties with the entries for the drugs Halcyon and Halothane earmarked and highlighted. So nerdy and stupid at the same time. This is before, you know, this is before Google.

And back then you had to read books to figure out how to poison and kill people. That's how I learned to masturbate and shave. Wow. The encyclopedia. But also, you might as well have just circled the paragraphs and have said, important for our crimes. Well, this happens quite a bit. Actually, remember this happened with Ed Gein? He had that copy of Grey's Anatomy and the only two pages he looked at with the

ones for vulvas. Everybody's interested in it. Everybody's got a flavor. Yes. But all that's the nonfiction. To scratch their novelistic itch, Carla and Paul, but particularly Carla, absolutely loved American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis. I love it too, though, you know, full disclosure.

It's a great book. I actually kind of feel bad for this guy because he wrote a kick-ass book and a lot of douchebags loved it for the wrong reasons. It's what happens. Kind of like, what is it? Catcher in the Rye. I love being a part of the world of Wolf of Wall Street, but guys that like finance guys that view them as heroes are a different stripe.

That's true. Now, this highly graphic book about a yuppie serial killer came out after Paul and Carla began committing crimes together. But what's startling is that there are massive similarities between Paul Bernardo and the main character, Patrick Bateman, almost as if Brett Easton Ellis had channeled Canada's worst citizen. I will say not in their interest of music. Thank God.

Can you imagine if Patrick Bateman just put on like NWA? He's like, this is the classic. Honestly, he would be correct. Both were yuppies who would obsess over their looks and flex in front of the mirror. Both treated women like objects and sexually degraded them. Both used Halcyon in some way or another and both made videos of their girlfriends having sex with other women. Both men even had a similar sexual assault M.O.

While Paul forced wine bottles into the orifices of victims, Patrick Bateman used hairspray cans. Both also participated in dismemberment, although Bateman had a habit of torturing victims with fire before he killed them. But it's also important to remember that American Psycho was a social satire. Technically, it's a very funny book if you read it as if all of this stuff is purposely highly exaggerated. Yeah, if you don't see him as a role model, it's quite humorous.

So I suppose the movie, obviously I didn't read the book, shocker alert. But the movie, I guess, toned it down a little bit then because I don't remember him lighting anybody on fire. It's hard to get away with certain things and also it's a part of it. There is the idea of some of these things might be physically impossible for you to do and that's why it's like, what is this? Is this just a person's very intensely detailed fantasy life? Right, right.

But outside of their macabre interests, Paul and Carla were also huge fans of The Simpsons and taped every episode. I mean, this was The Good Simpsons to be fair. It was, this was the best time period. Actually, this wasn't quite the best time period. This is season one and two. This is before the show really hit its stride. This is Tracy Oldman's design.

Yeah, that Tracy Oldman design. When it was like Homer's, it was like, Bard, you are annoying to me. Like, it wasn't even having the voice. But it was still authentic and Matt Groening was still working very hard. He didn't know if he was going to make it in this life. It wasn't before he did all his weird feet sucking. Matt Groening's a weird man. Okay.

Yeah. In other nods to some sort of normality, Carla and Paul also had pets. In addition to their Rottweiler buddy, Carla and Paul also briefly had a pet iguana named Spike. Yeah. It's a good name for an iguana. Yeah. But as anyone who's hung out at a weed dealer's house in college knows, iguanas are difficult animals to raise, which is unfortunate because they seem to often be

owned by extremely impatient people with little empathy. It's really true. A lot of times, every iguana I have seen, besides, I had a good buddy that really did love his iguana and his iguana used to come out and they used to cuddle, used to hang out. And don't worry, all you fucking iguana people, we don't need emails talking about how you love your iguana and how you love your iguana is your best friend. We know you do. But we have people, I know people that also get these types of animals because they seem to be

quote unquote easy to take care of. But then they live in a fucking cage all day and they don't do anything. They feed it, they get really smelly, they could cover their own shit. And it's very sad what can happen to an iguana. Absolutely. But there's a lot of great iguana parents out there. You're right. But if it came out of your pussy, you need to call a fucking doctor and then the government.

Yeah, that's true. A case in point in this lack of empathy was Paul and Carla. Spike the iguana was a biter and like all iguanas, it used its tail on anything it saw as a threat to whip hard enough to break the skin. Have you ever been whipped by an iguana before? No, I've never even really tried to touch an iguana unless it's like when my buddy had his super friendly iguana, I like pet its little head, but I also kind of gave it a lot of distance. He's going to need a license for that tail in Reno because they just banned whips without a license.

But do you know what's so funny? It's a concealing carry state. Yeah, exactly. But you can't have a whip in that wild little world. Well, when Spike whipped Paul, Paul grabbed the lizard, took it to the kitchen and decapitated it with a knife. He is such a fucking little pussy, baby. Come on.

The account of this is just such a pain in the ass because the iguana bit one of Carla's friends. He was hammered. He's up in his rap room. We're going to talk about this a little bit later on again. He left the E off of it. He couldn't go up there. He came down. She's all freaking out.

The iguana bit me and he's being like, oh, this little fucker is going to bite you, huh? And then he goes in. It whips him. He has this like full on temper tantrum because no one can ever threaten Paul's power in any way, shape or form, not especially not an iguana. So he picked it up. And the first thing he did was throw it against the wall. So he threw it and then it still lives and it's really strong.

But then he also then he picked up. It's like, oh, you see all me? You're going to fucking whip me, buddy. He goes and he fucking went at it with a knife over and over again. That's ridiculous. Now, this wouldn't necessarily be worth mentioning. Had it not been for what Carla did to the body afterward. Oh, she took the corpse and dug through its guts until she found the lizard's tiny testicles.

She said, I guess I guess Spike was a boy after all. Why the fuck did she go digging for its nuts? Um, because she's a scoral. She's a fucking psychopath. Oh, my God. He killed the iguana. She freaked out for a second. Apparently she was crying and screaming.

But then she was like, oh, and went up to it and just vivisected it. She just cut it open and took all its skin off. She said, like, it looked like a little suit. Yeah. And what kind of Wednesday night is this in Canada? What's happening? Yeah, she flayed the creature and hung the skin in the garage. So perhaps Henry was correct when he said that these two had they stayed on track,

might have become bona fide serial killers if they continue to commit crimes together. Sounds like they sounds like they're more cold-hearted than an iguana. I mean, I'm going to pause at this blooded. And I'm going to pause at this later on as well. Why I think they were going straight into killing people, especially Paul. And Carla liked the rough sex and the torture. That's what she liked. She liked all of that.

She didn't like the killing because she couldn't handle it. She did not like it because obviously, because that's too much for her. Yeah. Sometimes you just like the frosting, but you don't like the bread and the cake because you're on a diet or something. You've got frosting on a bread and you really need to sit and think about your priorities. Well, it's kind of bread. Cake is kind of a bread.

Let's think of a cinnamon roll. A cinnamon roll is somewhat bread with frosting on it. I'm not a fucking bakery lawyer. I can't sit here and decide what does or what. I'm not certain. I'm in the middle of the New Great British Baking Show. I actually didn't see. They did have a thing with yeasted bread currently, which also, again, I don't like the new one.

I don't like the new one. I tried to watch it. I don't care for it. Yeah. We're going to end this conversation right now. I like it. I like it. Are you telling me you don't like the helmet or what's his fucking name, the German guy? I like the old host, yeah.

Yeah, but they have grown on me. I like Noel and I like the bald guy. Okay. Yeah. Now, by April of 1992, Carla and Paul were on the lookout for a new sex slave because Carla hadn't really enjoyed the girl she'd recruited from number one pet store. The aforementioned Jane Doe. Carla said she hadn't had it as much fun.

Yeah, because she was a bummer and her mom was like all involved. And she had to go and deal with all this shit and they couldn't just have her as a sex slave. Oh, no. So Paul started stalking once again without really hiding what he was doing. And I can't really figure out whether it's because of stupidity or arrogance. Something right in the fucking creamy center of that. Hey, Pam, do you notice like a dumpier vanilla ice in the bushes? Hey, hey, how you doing?

Yeah. Are you stalking us? Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing that from afar. I'm doing it from afar so you can't really tell. Name's Paul. Yeah. Okay.

You remember all those crimes in Scarborough? Yeah. Not me. Okay. On opposite day. Oh, so where was you? Maybe. Let's go, Pam.

All right, I hope you're going to work. Love when you work. When people who frequented an area around a local coffee shop noticed that a man with a camcorder in a sports car was driving around recording women and police even noted that a gold sports car had been cruising St. Catherine's with its headlights off. This guy's too flashy to stop. My main thing is the reason why I don't want to even investigate this guy

is because I look so fat on camera. And I don't know if it's the gun belt. I don't know if it's the shield, but I just can't be on camera right now. It's probably the weight. Elliot Rogers in this guy. Very close. Dushier. Who's Dushier behind the wheel?

Elliot Rogers. Yeah, Elliot Rogers. I guess he did commit the crimes from behind the wheel. The Elliot Rogers became. But as it always was, police pulled him over for the infraction, then sent him on his merry way. Because Paul had never been arrested nor even entered into the system, despite the fact that he was obviously a sex criminal.

It also proves he's not a real rapper because all of them have rap sheets. And this is just more evidence that he is not even respected by law enforcement enough to be seen as dangerous. Now, after stalking multiple women who all knew that someone was stalking them, Bernardo noticed 15-year-old Kristen French, and thereafter began following her home to watch her undress through her window. See, this is him escalating. Like, this is what I'm talking about is that he went from what was easy.

He went from what was in his direct vicinity and what Carla brought to him, essentially, right? Like, pretty much she was the honey trap. She was bringing people in, making people feel normal. This is Paul starting to go off on his own. Like, I really do think that if he, murder was going to quickly become his Emma. Well, he'd already brought Leslie Mahaffian. But still, the stalking aspect of it has increased.

The stalking aspect has definitely increased, because he's driving around looking for basically the perfect victim. He's creating profiles. Yeah, it's not just looking at seeing a girl on the street and thinking on the spot, what, you know, let me go do what I do. It's searching. It's hunting. He's extending his fantasy. So, because the stalking is obviously a part of the sexual play for him, right?

It's a part of him saying, like, I'm a predator. I'm in charge of this person's life and they have no idea. So, he's Glaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein rolled into one douche. Yes. Yes. But without all the money. Yeah. Yeah. Well, before long, Paula decided that this girl was the one. So, he and Carla enacted a plan to kidnap the unfortunate soul.

Carla 100% participated in this. As Kristen was walking home, Paul and Carla pulled up in Paul's Nissan to ask for directions. Now, this is common because St. Catharines was built on a confusing radius, kind of like San Antonio, and people asked for directions all the time. But just as French noticed that Carla was actually looking at a map of Scarborough, Paul made his move. He held a knife to her throat and forced her into the car, threatening to kill her on the spot if she talked.

He then blindfolded her as Carla leisurely drove all three of them back to their home. Once they arrived, Paul and Carla disconnected all the phones in the house, save for one with the answering machine connected, because they always made sure to promptly return calls when they had a sex slave, lest someone drop in. At some point, you must assume when you're getting a call back immediately from Paul and Carla, you're like, ah, they must have a sex slave in, because normally they don't get in that fast. Normally they're actually pretty slow to respond.

Right. So after Paul watched Kristen go to the bathroom, which seemed to be Paul's MO for starting any kidnapping, that's for some reason that's how we like to start it. I think it's debasing you, it's showing you you have no power. Yeah. He put on a tape of ICT's original gangsta and forced Kristen to drink screwdrivers. After Paul committed the first rape of what would be many over the next couple of days, Carla oddly went into a sort of caretaker mode, cook some chicken for Kristen to eat.

Paul then switched the tape to LL Cool J and raped Kristen again. She has begun this litany now. If you believe part of what she says, I believe sometimes the way she describes the way things play out, I see there must be a middle way here, where she has begun to tell Kristen during this time period, Paul and I are just friends, we're not in love anymore, right? This is Paul trying to find love again. And so she sips into this other thing where she basically says like,

we've agreed to not be in love anymore and we're doing this and I'm now playing good cop. But also during this time period, as it's going on, she's becoming incredibly mad at Kristen for making Paul sexually attracted to her, right? It's this dynamic where she has set up this, it must be obviously it is very frightening, but you have one woman coming in giving you food and talking to you and acting everything's all like fine and dandy. She's like, well, fucking Paul's going to keep you here for a little while longer and then leave and then Paul comes in and says balance back and forth

until he got too much for Carla as well. I suppose even Kathy Bates fed James Cahn in misery. Yeah, but she was trying to get the novel. Yeah. The next morning though, instead of more assault, Paul decided to test out material on his prisoner and launched into a couple verses of deadly innocence. Oh no. Which was, yeah, now a fully formed song.

This is what he rapped. Oh God. And Henry, if you will do the honors, I'm not fucking doing it. It's the worst open mic of all time. There we go. Absolutely. This is horrible. A deadly innocent first with a spellbinding curse.

I'm crazy swearing, not really caring. Total cop hating, innocence faking. Forty ounce slamming, never act dammon, likely low watching it flow. Leave the fly girls waiting. I actually like you less for some reason. Yeah, you just like it, isn't that weird? They like lay low watching it flow. Leave the fly girls wait.

Leave the fly girls wait. Oh my God, it's so horrible. Yes. It's so horrible. It's almost like it was written by the worst criminal in the world. Oh, this poor woman after everything and now this and it's just, oh God. Well, he paused in the middle and asked her what she thought of it. It sucks.

It sucks. Eggs, eggs, eggs. I mean, good Lord. And then he continued with another verse and this one's the second verse is even worse than the first. How? So remember young hype is a white boy, a white boy rapper that's neither full nor toy with tremendous outrage because I can't sit and wait for my day to arrive. I've got to struggle and fight to keep my dream alive because I've got the right to recite and

excite lyrics of bite delight and ignite topics of ill and display my skill. Watching fulfills, I earn a couple mil. I like to train with pain. I'm just that type. I'm always cooling on the mic because I'm a young and hype. I apologize. Oh my God. As the king of the whites, I do want to apologize for him.

King of the whites, huh? Can that be a prince? Yeah, your prince of the whites. Sure. What am I? Duke. You're, you're, you're. Dookie.

So after Paul displayed his very limited skills, he and Carla became very concerned that Kristen should eat something. And this is a weird thing with him. They don't show this with either the other, with any of the other victims that they lure into their home. Was this girl, for some reason, it's, it's, they're very concerned about her eating. Is it because she was a little bit younger than some of the other ones? No, she's about the same age.

Same age. Paul and Carla, if you do start to, apparently the tapes that we don't see and the stuff that they, the correspondence that we don't see between them is that in some weird, I think that they were just stupid versus while they are evil, I think they stupided them their way into being like evil, essentially. Not mutually exclusive, a lot of evil, stupid people out there. So they're very close. But they wanted to create a sustainable sex slave situation.

They kind of had this idea that if we can set this up in a way, maybe she'll like it. Is it Dom or Esk? No, that's Leonard Lake Esk. That's exactly what Leonard Lake did. Because Carla even said, at some point in the tapes, this idea that like, I don't get why Kirsten so mad at us. We gave her good food. We gave her good love and like she acted as if like she should be loving all of this.

The assault, the kidnapping, the rap. Yes. Yeah. There's a lot of reasons to be mad. Notice she didn't mention the rap. Like Carla never once said that the rap was good. Does Carla not think that the rap is good? We have to ask her.

If anyone runs into her at the street wherever she is, just ask her if she thought the rap was good. I saw one little sliver of a section of the video where Paul was rapping and she didn't react. The thing is that he did all of this rapping stuff and she was just in front of her. So we really need to prepare for like she, it was like this whole video. So she obviously, I don't think that she liked the rap. Did he ever do it in public?

No. Did he ever do it in public? No, never. There's a little bit of detail after this section to talk about like what he tried to do with this rap. Got you. Got you. Now, Kristen thought that if she could get Paul to leave, she could befriend Carla and

convince her to let her go. But what Kristen didn't know is that Carla was having far too good of a time to make that happen. Now, Paul headed out and picked up some pizza at McDonald's, which is apparently a thing in Canada for a short period. God damn hell is this fucking world coming to? Pizza at McDonald's? There was also...

There was spaghetti at McDonald's. Do you remember that? Oh, shut the front door, dude. What is McDonald's doing? I don't know. They tried a lot in the early 90s. That clown is having too much fun. Remember the Arch Deluxe?

It was disgusting. I didn't understand the Arch Deluxe. It was a sandwich. It was a sandwich. It was a sandwich with a dent in it. It wasn't... There was nothing different about it. A dent.

But why did it taste worse? Because I don't know. I don't know. Well, as he was out at McDonald's getting pizza, he also stopped by the video store, rented some movies. In addition to the Mickey Rourke vehicle, Angel Heart, Paul also rented Carla's favorite Criminal Law for what seems like the millionth fucking time. Just buy it then.

Just buy it. Yeah. Yeah. Once he returned, Carla took a turn raping Kristen. Carla did it. And Paul attempted to defecate on their captive. But he failed. Oh my god.

Unlike Leslie Mahaffey, French was missed immediately. A province-wide alert was put into place and a single clue came to the forefront which would end up hamstringing the entire investigation. Witnesses came forward once Kristen's disappearance hit the news and said that they'd last seen Kristen getting into a cream-colored Camaro. Oh god. This is a cream-colored Camaro thing, too, is that that has become such a... From all of the letters we received about people who grew up in the Toronto area during

this time period. And they said, like, they are still haunted by the idea of these giant billboards that were put up that said, looking for this Camaro. And then their jobs were as kids to go look for this Camaro. And then everyone out go looking for this car that had nothing to do with the investigation. Just one poor guy who finally got his dream car. Of course. I just keep on getting egged, honey.

I don't know why. I worked 50 years at the bank for this. Maybe they think this car due to its color of cram is some form of traveling egg-like ghost. And they're trying to add eggs to it. I don't know. I don't know the egg lore. And I wish that it would stop.

This is my... Now it's got york on it. Look at it. It's bad. It used to just be cram. And that'll ruin the paint. It's jeppin'. My dreams.

It's jeppin'. I'm going back to work at my side company Moose Lumber and we're taking Beaver Lumber down. I hope so. Now the witnesses might have seen Kristen getting into Paul's car from far away. Or they may have seen a girl who looked similar to Kristen getting into a cram-colored Camaro the day she went missing. A million girls get into a cram-colored Camaro every day because it's a cool car and girls

love cram. But may I ask, also did somebody just say it was a cram-colored Camaro and they were wrong and then the cops would go up to people and be like, did you see her get into a cram-colored Camaro? And then they kind of planted it because it seems like maybe one person got it wrong and then the cops... Well, yeah. They had no leads.

They had no leads for them. Well, technically they did have a bunch of leads. They were all sitting on a shelf inside of the police station. But yes, this was them trying to work it out. Yeah. For Kristen French specifically, the only thing they had was cram-colored Camaro. It was completely wrong. Paul's car was gold, not cream.

And it was a Nissan 240SX, which is still a sports car, but nothing like a Camaro. No. Technically with gold, sometimes you can call it champagne. Yeah. Sure. But... Which I guess is somewhat close to cream. It's not, though.

Champagne is ritzy, cram is of the people. True. But since it was the only clue they had, investigators became laser-focused again on the wrong assumption. Meanwhile, the horror continued in the Bernardo home the next night with Kristen French. To illustrate just how little Paul and Carla regarded what it was that they were actually doing, Paul returned the two movies they watched the night before and rented a new one. Shattered, starring Tom Berenger and Bob Hoskins. Damn.

Bob Hoskins. Bringing Tom Berenger into this. Yeah. Let him fucking be home. Let him be home. But that's what, to me, this shows like such, again, like the banality of evil. Absolutely. It's like, oh yeah, let's do it in a couple more videos.

Sure. What do you want? You don't want the late phase. Those start to pile up. That's right. They probably rewound the videos as well to make sure that everything was ship-shaped. I also think it shows just how much this behavior had worked their way into their everyday life. No lie.

They never have normal sex. Ever. No. They don't have it. They don't have either extreme BDSM sex with Carla, him and Carla doing whatever it is, because also, I bet you, weirdly, Paul and Carla were probably sleeping together very little at this point anyway, because now he's obsessed with his other realm and Carla is obsessed with Paul.

So Paul is obsessed with the outside, Carla is obsessed with Paul, she'll do whatever the fuck it is that makes him horny and makes her horny. Carla, what about if we bring this pizza into the game with us from McDonald's? Yes, from McDonald's. That's my favorite. A true Italian treat. Yeah. It must have been hamburger patty sausage.

Nothing I love better than a pizza from a Scottish burger restaurant. The assaults only got worse on second night, with wine bottle insertions, rape both anal and vaginal, and beatings when Kristen didn't do what Paul wanted. Eventually, Kristen ended up dead, although, again, the cause of death is up for debate. I got a really interesting email from a listener that included a comic book, essentially, that an artist that was in the courtroom, because these tapes were not released outside of the courtroom, right? No one ever got to see what exactly would happen, it was a three and a half hour long

tape of these sexual assaults, right? Two, three and a half hour long tapes. Jesus Christ. Right. And so they went, they watched them in court, and this artist drew his sword of responsibility. They watched the whole, they watched all six hours for the jury? Yes, they had to. Oh my God.

We'll get to that in a second, but they watched them three times. Oh my God. In his description, what he puts is Carla as an extreme agitator, is that despite what she'll say later on, what you will see from her is leading abuse, like a physical abuse, almost as if when Paul got tired, Carla would take over. They would tag team, they would get into it, and then Carla was just as bad as him. And then the way they describe it too, it was like, the comic book just shows her wearing this leather mask and beating the fuck out of her, and she is laughing and full off the

rails. She looks like a fucking supervillain. She looks like exactly what she is, but then when you see her, yes, and then you see her in court and she's like, I simply was just, I was an automaton, I was made to do these things by Paul. And you're like, no, you're having a blast in this video. Yeah. Well, as far as how Kristen died, Carla said that Paul had strangled Kristen with an electrical

cord for seven minutes until she finally expired. But again, forensics told a different story. Frances' corpse had blood in her lungs, meaning that blood had been inhaled through her nose and throat as she died, making strangulation unlikely. In addition, bones in the throat that are usually broken during strangulation were fine. But French did have deep subdural hemorrhages on both sides of her head above the ears, which appeared to have been caused by the swift swing of a mallet. Now, by Carla's own confessions, she had guarded French with a rubber mallet when Paul

left the house for a third time. The theory is that French begged her way out of her binding probably by asking to go to the bathroom or she managed to wiggle her way out. But no matter how she got free, it's speculated that she tried running but wasn't fast enough to escape Carla Hamulca. By forensics, it's safe to assume that Carla beat Kristen to death with the mallet in a moment of rage or panic. She did something.

Damn. Because they also have found on this, I mean, on the backs of both of the victims, they found a pair of bruises that they assume they look as if they were knee bruises. They look like knee points that were on someone's back, right? Because Paul did strangle Leslie Mahaffey from behind, right, and leaned on her back and strangled her. But there was another set of bruises on Kristen that they do believe belong to the smaller knees of Carla Hamulca.

And that when she was like, they think that they trapped and released. They were doing the BTK style thing to extend it. And then she got out and then she freaked out. But you're also looking at, man, Carla's such a fucking monster. She's such a fucking monster, man. Yeah. I can't believe she's out. Like, I have no fucking clue where the fuck she is.

Doesn't seem right. Doesn't seem right. And neither could they. No one could. We'll get into this, too. But the reaction of the police when she gave them the, after negotiating the plea deal, and then they got to see all the videos. Now once Kristen French was dead, Carla and Paul took the body to the bathroom.

They scrubbed it clean, wrapped it in a blanket and loaded the body into the car. But not before they cut the hair from the corpse's head as a trophy. Now perhaps thinking that an elaborate disposal method was unnecessary because the cops hadn't come anywhere near them for the last murder, remember the last murder, they dismembered the body. Oh yeah. They put everything into it. You know, they encased it in concrete.

This time they just dumped the body in a ditch near a trash site, which was coincidentally close to the cemetery where Leslie Mahaffey was buried. One French's body was found covered in leaves two weeks later, but since young girls were apparently showing up dead left and right in this area of Canada in the early 90s, police dismissed the notion that the Mahaffey and French murders were connected. So is this a situation like a killdozer where the guy who made the killdozer was like, they could have stopped me anytime and they didn't? Did Carla and Paul get more like energy because they were not being hunted by the police?

Did they feel like they were given license to do this, like this is just what we do and apparently society isn't that against it because it doesn't look like the cops have given them any reason to worry? Yes and no. We'll kind of get into how it affected Paul later on and how it affected and also how it affected Carla. I think even though the investigators weren't coming anywhere near them, I think they were eaten up by the knowledge that they could at any second.

It was, they were not good at leading the double life. They were not good at it. I think that's really what it comes down to. I think that these people that become highly prolific serial killers also sexualize the double lives thing. That's part of it, yeah. But the thing about being a married couple that look like them being the Ken and Barbie killers, you actually had this whole extended like friends and family and all this kind

of shit where your second life was too big for your private life. The Mattelover Sue, I just feel like if I was Mattel I'd be like, you know, the Ken and Barbie killers, what about Steve and Whitmer killers, they could be the Cheryl and Birkenstein killers. Anything else. Well, since police dismissed the notion that the Mahaffey and French murders were connected, a completely separate task force was formed to solve the murder of Kristen French. But in this, the Canadian cops can't take all the blame.

And the FBI also did their level best to fuck up this investigation. USA. USA. USA. For the borough of investigation. For the borough of investigation. My name is Mr. Redperson, I'm from the federal borough of investigation investigations. That's how I used to be a coroner.

I see your drill. I know I used to be a coroner, but they promoted me to the head of murder man, head of murder services. Congratulations. Well, the FBI agreed that they were dealing with two sets of killers here, two separate pairs of men that were kidnapping and killing young girls. They said that the killers of Kristen French were between 20 and 35 and living in a single family home suffering from low self-esteem and poor social skills.

They got one of those things, right? Yeah. Between 20 and 35. And the house. Low self-esteem. I'll tell you that freaking much. No, no, absolutely not. I mean, on the inside.

Do you think? I don't think so. They're egotistical maniacs. I do believe Paul was paper thin. I think he's a textbook psychopath. Yeah. According to the FBI, Canadian cops should look for dirty fingernails. What?

And then their profile, yeah, the profile, the only thing they got, well, I guess they got that there were two perpetrators, right? They got that they were between 20 and 35, right? But everything else was totally fucking wrong. Okay. Well, here's their lineup. It turns out they're mostly mechanics. Look at the nails.

Look at these nails. Look at the nails. Dirty fingernails. And you wonder why it took so long for you to get your truck back? Because each one of those mechanics were always getting brought in. I get it. Dirty. Clean your nails.

Use that lava soap. So working with the wrong profile and focusing on the wrong color make and model of vehicle, Canadian police form the Green Ribbon Task Force to capture Kristen French's killers. They did set up cameras at Kristen French's grave, though, just in case the killers came to glow. I'm officially, I'm officially looking for manicure. I'm on manicures. That's what I know.

You're on long nails. Honestly, have you ever even had a pedicure, though, have you allowed yourself the pleasure of one? Even when you're investigating, it's important to take some time for yourself. Absolutely. And honestly, because you were investigating and I said arrest him at my pedicure, I could charge the bureau for it. There you go.

Four million fricking dollars. Well, meanwhile, someone was looking for Paul Bernardo. Finally, who, a constable named Haney, had been investigating the Smyrnus Brothers. And again, the Smyrnus Brothers tried transferring the focus from themselves to their psychotic friend Paul Bernardo. No way. You mean to tell me the fucking idiot one and idiot two that have been a part of his fucking Canadian goon squad?

We're not like, you know, we know a real psychopath. It's our buddy Paul. He's definitely, we're just scam guys. We're just guys that like, I'll tell you right now. I run cigarettes everywhere, right? I've never even had a legal cigarette. I don't know what they taste like. We talk a lot.

So I don't remember if this was made as a comparison, but they sound like the evil twins from always sunny in Philadelphia. Evil brothers. But despite knowing that Bernardo was a hostile and violent individual, it took Constable Haney 10 days to get the information given by the Smyrnus Brothers over to the Green Ribbon Task Force, but once he did, the Task Force did get around to interviewing Paul eventually. When asked what he was doing the day Christian French went missing, Paul said he was home alone writing lyrics for his rap album because he was going to be the next vanilla ice and

the cop said, good enough for us. That's not an alibi. I bet you that they did the thing too, being like, I bet he's pretty good too, because all of these cops got really impressed by him. Every single time they speak to him, they're all like, well, someone's got to be the next vanilla ice and I think you got the air for it. Someone's got to be because one day he'll die and who will be who will replace him because what it comes down to is our very special, the UN needs vanilla ice.

Well the cops then asked him if he drove a Camaro and when he said no, they briefly looked at his Nissan said that don't look like no Camaro, they let Paul go again after only interviewing him for 20 minutes. He's like a good guy and honestly, his flow was bitchin. When he got me, honestly, when he said the thing about deadly innocence and he leaves the fly girls waiting, my knees, despite how they're locked together, you know, I have to walk straight because of what happened with my woods, both legs are completely made out of wood.

I actually tipped back and forth. I was almost done. Wow. Got the green ribbon task force. It sounds like they should be investigating ballet. I mean, the green ribbon task force sounds like a looking for cheating at a crafting convention. Oh my God.

I mean, Paul, he's getting investigated by the police, you know, for a murder that he did commit and all he's talking about is his rap career. He is truly serious about this fucking rap career. Oh, he's beyond serious. He had what he called his rap room. He had upstairs in his studio or is it in home studio and what he did was put together thousands upon thousands of dollars of high end recording equipment. Where'd he get the money?

Cigarettes. Cigarettes. Scams, right? He didn't spend it on anything else, right? They just kind of wear like whatever fun trendy clothes and then he would outfit his rap room. OK. And he'd go up there all day experimenting and his thing needs to be in front of a

crowd. He's a moron. He's not talented. He thought that he could just do this. How many people have you met in your life that thinks like, I'm God's gift to ex? All I got to do is start doing it and everybody's going to pay me millions of dollars to do it. Like they're going to definitely pay me money because I'm the best.

Coming up in the entertainment industry, I don't think I know anyone like that. I don't know anybody like that. No, not in our business. But the thing is that he, but the difference is the people we knew actually put themselves on the line. Paul also had a very fragile ego. There was no way he was going to do the actual highly embarrassing thing of putting your music in front of people for the very first time.

Bombing on stage, which is a prerequisite, which is why you have to. You must. You will bomb. And so Paul, he spent all this money. His thing was that he'd rip loops from songs and then flow. He tried to do his rap on top of beats from other songs because he couldn't figure out how to put together his own beats. So he had all of this expensive equipment and he couldn't use.

And so he got to do it. And so he then used it. This is just the guy who, like before they even dribble a basketball, buys the finest shoes. Yes. This is going to help me do it. It's like, no, you can do a barefoot. He couldn't do anything because it's tough to fucking figure out, man.

It takes like a day. No, man, but you have to like love music. He wanted to do it though. No, he didn't want to do it. He wanted to be famous and rich. He didn't want yet. He had nothing to do with the fucking music. He didn't give up.

He does not feel anything. There's nothing. And so when he was putting this together, they were the most hastily put together piece of fucking shit things you've ever heard because he started just rapping over songs with lyrics on them. Like we've seen how many times have we showed on the stream, you know, in these various things where someone just like him doing his, isn't a tic-tac now? Oh my God.

But then he finally figured out how to take the lyrics off and then he would just rap on other people's beats. Yeah. Oh my God. What an abuse to music. Yeah. I mean, he's truly like. It's all shortcuts.

It's all put in the car before the horse. Three days after he was questioned by cops, he legally changed his name from Paul Bernardo, which you know, Paul Bernardo, that's not really a hip hop name. He changed it to a stage name, Paul Jason Teal. Now that's a name, but you got to add an E to Teal. So it's not a color anymore and it doesn't rhyme with seal because there was an E on it and seal doesn't have an E unless you're in France. It's still the wrong name for a rapper.

He sounds like a CEO of a scam cookie company. He sounds like a presidential assassin. Also, fame and fortune are symptoms of hard work and success and entertainment. And they're the worst parts. Well, not the money is fine. The money is good. But he doesn't understand. But the fame, whoever would want fame is like, well, I'm just scary.

Ask anybody who has a fucking several million followers on tic-tac who has also not received a dime for making content for millions of people and all you do is throw your stuff into a barrel and set it on fire. Good point. That's a good idea. Now the names Paul chose weren't chosen because Paul thought they sounded good. The middle name Jason, that's from Jason Voorhees. Oh, don't, don't bring Jason.

Fuck that. Jason was a victim and they killed his freaking mother. Don't even get me going on what they did to Jason. It was because he said the, that's the life. Teal though was the name of the serial killer and Carla's favorite movie, Criminal Law. Yeah, boss. That's boss ass shit right there. And Carla also changed her last name to Teal.

To all four. Oh yeah. She was arrested. That's what she went back towards. That's what she made her last name after she was released. Oh my God. And of course with the new name came new lyrics. He's got to man.

My name is Paul Teal and I'm here to say I'm rapping under a new name today. Well, that's really cool. Man, I can't wait to hear it. So here, ladies and gentlemen, coming to the stage, Paul, Jason Teal. All right. Oops, you're going to remember me, you fucking pieces of shit. Here we go. Oh God, there's an open mic starting.

It's time for some rap. I am crazy swearing. Not really, Karen. Born to steal the show. My blood burns nitro. You want to size me up? Well, let's kick it. There's a new kid on the block and I am with it.

Come on everybody. Got to scream and shout. Rock with the hook while I hype it out. The work is yours. The illusion has become real. How does it feel? Got it at a steal. You're the big wheel.

Paul, a Jason Teal. Boom. That's the thing. I don't know how, but it's somehow the best one and the worst one. It is so good. There is no best one. It is just the single worst thing I have ever heard anyone do. It's the saying, your full name at the end of it's the worst shit I've ever heard.

It's something about that. I don't know why it infuriates me. Yeah. Come on, man. What are you going to go all the way down to the fucking courthouse? Courthouse? If you're not going to fucking use it in your rap. Oh my God.

Wow. Now Paul made it seem like he wasn't bothered with all the questioning because he got in a way with it so many fucking times, but even so he and Carla still decided to move their videotapes from Carla's hope chest to the insulation in the loft of the garage. Because I think after the cops brought him in for specifically the Win the Green Ribbon Task Force brought him in, I think that's when he first started to crack. Is it weird to say in a way their inner world was very private, right? And they thought almost that no one could ever, no one would ever know, but almost like

it wasn't real, right? Like that what they were doing was their sexual escapades and once they came and got rid of bodies and they filmed it, they froze it on tape, but they never filmed the murders, right? They never filmed anyone actually dying. They never filmed the assaults that they had these like hinting little memories of it, which they did rewatch again and again. They did watch these tapes, but there is something about it like how it started to kind of dawn

on him of like, oh, we're like actually doing things to people that live. Like I didn't think of them as like, not that it's guilt, it's not guilt. No. It's just him all of a sudden understanding. I was like, oh, like this is starting to come to me. This is consequences. That's what he's finally starting to see those consequences. Yeah.

Yeah. Not upset because he, you know, it's the whole thing of like not upset because they did what they did upset because they got caught. Just starting to get caught. This whole thing. Now officially, Kristen French was Paul and Carla's last murder victim, but it's believed that they were responsible for at least one more, Terry Anderson, who disappeared about seven months after Kristen French.

And we don't know for sure because there's no video evidence of Paul and Carla with Terry Anderson because I think it's possible that Paul and Carla didn't videotape this assault because they were a bit spooked. Yeah. And there were certainly more people who were screaming to the police that Paul Bernardo was a person of interest. The next was Bubba Matille, who was a friend of a friend of Paul Bernardo. He's fucking names, man.

I watched so much trial footage, right? Like I was watching all this, like whatever the coverage of it and Canadian names are just so funny. I swear to God, they have one of their biggest anchor. I swear her name was Rita Spatula, and they just have some fucking names in Canada that are wild. Well, that's a good name. They say Rita Spatula, and I'm here with the news, like she said, and it wasn't like

fun cooking news. It wasn't a stage name. Maybe I'm wrong. It might have been like Ritzy Spadina. There was like somebody other than another name that was like that. It's wild. Long Spatula is the Spatula family. It's a long history.

Very Italian. Yes. It's a vampire Spatula. That's a cooking vampire. Let's continue. Let's move on. I love that. One night, Bubba, Paul, and Bubba's friend were having a drink at a bar when they said,

hey, let's all go back to Paul's house. Oh. When Bubba's friend got to Paul's house, pointed out a photo of a pretty young girl, most likely Carla's sister Tammy, Bernardo lost his shit. According to Bubba, Paul started hitting himself in the head saying, I don't fucking care. I don't fucking care. I don't fucking care. Oh, I don't know, man.

I don't fucking care, man. I don't fucking care, man. It seems like you're caring quite a bit about something. I don't know. He then switched to saying, she fucking died in my arms. She fucking died in my arms, man. She fucking died in my fucking arms, man. You know what?

That's actually something you could rap about. She died in my arms don't mean to cause no alarms. I'm not the fireman. I'm the police chief. Never mind. Nothing you can't rap about anything. Never mind. And he's punching himself with a closed fist the whole time.

Like he's losing it. He's throwing a hissy fit. He's throwing like a college age, like I had friends that would do that in college, you know, like they get all mad and go up and like punch a stop sign and break their hand and shit. Be like, oh fuck. Oh, because he doesn't know how to be hard, bro. Bubba had no concrete proof, but Paul's friend did unload quite a bit of information about

what type of man Paul Bernardo was and what type of shit he got up to. Yeah, because they were there too. So sexually assaulting women, they all acted as if they're like, yeah, I don't know if Bubba was. I don't know. Not Bubba. No, not Bubba. Not Bubba.

I'm talking about the fucking Smurnees. Well, I don't think this was this was not a Smurnees brother. This was just some fucking guy. Oh, this is just some guy. Yeah. Yeah. This is a guy outside of the Smurnees brothers just like, you know, Paul beats his wife. Yeah.

But we he's going to be a good guy though. We should go out for drinks with him again. But you know, he's probably he's been he was around Scarborough when all those rapes were happening. But you know, we should definitely hockey game. We should definitely go watch the hockey game in his house. That sounds great. Yeah, that sounds like a fun place to be.

Yeah. But that's the thing is that based on that information, Bubba became convinced that Bernardo was both the Scarborough rapist and the man responsible for the murders of Mahaffey in French. Honestly, this is so crazy and the cops are so stupid in this case. Bubba can solve it. Yeah. I love the idea of Bubba, Bubba, solving all of this.

It has gotten to Bubba. Come on, Bubba. You can do it, buddy. And Bubba did indeed go to the Niagara Regional Police with these concerns. But again, they waved him off and continued ignoring the ever growing stack of reports about Paul Bernardo. When a Bubba alerts you to crime because you listen to that fucking Bubba because you have any idea the core value of a Bubba.

Seriously, man, do you think a Bubba would voluntarily go to the police? Absolutely not. Bubba has many fingers in different pies. Sure. He's got a lot of plates spinning. Absolutely. None of the police. No, none.

Never. And he's not coming if I get it. He doesn't want to tip the police off. No. God damn, if a Bubba tells you something, that's some, yeah. Unless it's something about your wife or your family, then don't listen. Instead of investigating Paul Bernardo, the Green Ribbon Task Force produced an hour and a half long infomercial about the murder of Kristin French, focusing on the erroneous

sighting of a cream-colored Camaro. Oh my fucking god. So this is like the Al Gore moment where he solved global warming by making a movie? Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, this was their whole thing of being like, this was called, fuck, cream-colored Camaros. Oh my god. And it was all about how cream-colored Camaros are the problems of what's going on in this,

in both Canada and around the world. So at any point, if the person that did the murders actually had a cream-colored Camaro, they would have gotten rid of it. Yes. Yeah. Well, reportedly Paul and Carla watched the special with a mixture of glee and anxiety. How I, like how I watch Dune. Or Lannis Morissette watched that new documentary about her, which she did not like.

Oh. Well, when an incorrect bit of information was put forth, Paul would shout, quote, wrong. Oh my fucking, I'm gonna fucking strangle you. Well, for months later, Paul watched his videotaped copy of the special again and again, either for proof of how smart he was or looking for some indication that they were onto him. It's hard to tell. Or there's a bit of a David Berkowitz, there's a little David Berkowitz spice here, right? Where he is starting to get some of the attention that he has been craving his whole life.

That's the fame component, I suppose. It's the fame component. I think that there is a thing here because even as like, because he is, you know, we don't like to diagnose people on here, but I imagine you'd probably say he is a textbook psychopath because he is a psychopath and every single thing, he gets bored so easily. He gets all of these types of, you need a rush, you need something and this is a rush. This is new. This is something else.

I feel like maybe not textbook psychopath, but like screenplay. Screenplay. Psychopath. Seriously. Because he's so trying to be a psychopath. Truly. You're right. Oh, he's such a shallow fucking douche.

Meanwhile, with nothing to deter them, Carla and Paul began grooming another sex slave, a 17-year-old former friend of Tammy Hamulcus. Now, this girl liked Carla, but whenever she went to her house, she wore layers of clothing because Paul was always trying to fill her up. Then trying something different, Paul and Carla went to Atlantic City and had a threesome with a sex worker at the Trump Plaza Hotel. What in the hell is going on now? I actually think I saw a picture of them up at the hotel the last time when we were in

AC. Is that what the first Springsteen song is all about? No, they had that whole thing of like favorite guests. Is that right? And it was them. It was incredible. It was Bubba. Honor dignitaries.

Yeah, honor dignitaries. Oh my God. Well, the whole thing was filmed this encounter with a sex worker and negotiated at a price of $300. But after an hour and a half, the sex worker told them that they expected way too much for $300. Yeah. And she thankfully left the room and was fine.

Thank you. Yeah, but honestly, once you get to a certain level, I imagine it would cost way more money. Yeah, $300 is nothing. No. Yeah. Now, it's hard to say exactly what it was that finally cracked Paul Bernardo. Perhaps it was the failure to find a new victim because they were not having any luck with that.

Perhaps it was the pressure of international attention on his crimes because having three murders on the mind isn't the easiest thing to carry around if you're not a killer who compartmentalizes well. That's the fucking truth. That really is the truth. It's because he was too dumb to be a cunning villain like really was. The pressure was building and I'm also going to say there was a little bit of that resentment of like, I don't know if I'm going to be a rapper.

Do you think he ever thought that? I think that there was a pressure knowing that he, because he started like making these CDs. He started making these CDs and handing them out and like nobody, obviously they were incredibly fucking bad. You know, Kid Rock is super famous, but Kid Rock is trying for years. At this point, Kid Rock is still like nine years away from hitting and the further into the nineties that Paul Bernardo gets, the further away he gets from 1988 when vanilla

ice is at his peak. Yes. And his style hasn't changed. Kid Rock, oh, he changes and he was the artist of our generation in many ways he was. But no matter the trigger, by mid-1992, Paul had begun to drink more heavily, mostly vodka. And when multiple attempts to obtain a new victim failed, Paul's violent tendencies began to shift more and more to the woman beside him, Carla Hamulca. See, because Paul was abusing Carla more, the bruises were getting harder to hide to

the point where her co-arkers were starting to notice. Paul then took a trip to Montreal with his buddies to pick up girls, but it didn't work out how Paul wanted it to. I wonder why? Paul found that when he tried picking up actual women, not teenage girls, they either ignored him or straight up laughed at his Baywatch vanilla ice stick, which had been unhipped for years by 1992. So he showed up with this being like, but this always works at the middle schools.

And they're like, yeah, yeah, I guess it does. I guess it does if you showed up and you act like a surfer who lost his fucking surfboard because it's Canada, you're not going anywhere, there's no way it should be caught around here. And so all of a sudden, yeah, yeah, I guess on a normal woman, it does not really hold. Because I guess, you know, he wasn't tall enough. Well, I don't know if that was the problem. Well, miffed by reality, Paul returned home and took out his anger on Carla, beating her

with a flashlight so bad that both of her eyes turned black as night. The word that the books always used is racooning. Well, of course, because everything in Canada is so fucking cute. Yes. But everything has to be said in like a roundabout way. They can never just say it, they just don't be like, he might as well have made her some kind of, oh, you know, racoon is the burglar of the nature world, you know, like weird shit.

Yeah. It's like how they call rapists in prison. They call them skin beefers. Now, what the hell kind of hot dog is that? That ain't right at all. It's awful. It's awful. So he is living in a poison world.

I'm saying, well, what's a fun band? He's living in a motley crew. He has a motley crew mindset, but it's a Pearl Jam world. I would say he's more in a vanilla ice mindset and it's a Nirvana world because this is, it's 1991, man. The Beastie Boys are still around. They're still doing white rap and stuff, but it's, hey, it's fucking check your head time.

Like it's different. It's way different than it was just a few years before. It's the beginning of grunge and even vanilla ice changed. Oh, we know. Many years later. Yeah. During the new metal time when he felt like it was the world was ready to receive him once more.

I mean, he had to go into his cocoon and emerge as a butterfly. It's actually the one show that the two shows I regret not going to in Lubbock was vanilla ice's new metal show when he played. We played at a venue for like a hundred people, maybe, and the show where Cole Chamber broke up on stage. That would have been the only two that I regret not going to. Fuck you, Stu. Patrick, you bitch.

You fucked my wife, Sam. Well, at that point, with Carla being beaten so badly, Carla's parents dragged her from the Bernardo home and brought her to stay with them. Now, it may be that Carla knew that the game was up and it was only a matter of time before Paul got caught because his behavior was becoming so erratic or she might have paid attention when her parents and her friends told her that Paul would eventually kill her if she stayed in the marriage. But either way, it's here that Carla told her parents that Paul had killed Tammy Linn.

Whoa. Yeah, dude. That's a strange conversation around the kitchen table. I want to see like the Kraft cheese commercial where it's like, cheese can help. Did your daughter just confess to murder with her boyfriend? And then it's just you all eating just like cold, just opening up the single packets of crashed cheese and just shoving it in your mouth as you're crying over a bottle of scotch. We better potato pay them.

Cheese makes it better. Yeah. Cheese is great. But there is a theory that Carla started to prepare her ultimate gymnastics flip. Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. Defense. Defense. Oh, yes.

Defense. Defense. She started to understand and apparently she started reading books about women being trapped in abusive relationships. And while she was absolutely in an abusive relationship, she keyed onto this idea that as long as you fully give over to saying and saying and really admitting like, I have been under the control of this man, you might just be able to get away with murder if you start to set the groundwork early.

Well, from that time forward, Carla was out of the marriage for good, which left Paul twisting in the wind. Meanwhile, the Green Ribbon Task Force was chasing their tails even harder than they had before. They'd found an abandoned cream-colored Camaro and breathlessly announced to the media that they were finally on the trail of the killer. Okay. Here's our theory.

We have found this abandoned Camaro and there's a part of us that think that maybe this man has turned himself into a series of bats. Yes. And that's why we are talking to a resident food-based vampire, Spatula. As our main, he is the main suspect in this crime. Spatula, once we find your gasket, oh, you best believe we will give you a stern questioning and then let you go. No, I'm sorry, officer.

This is Roy Bloorbenson's used car lot. Oh, Roy. Bloorbenson. Yes. It's Bloorbenson's car lot. How much for the green-colored Camaro? Honestly, seeing so many pictures of it just makes me want one. Meanwhile, Paul was being arrested for entirely different crimes.

He was taken into custody for the assault of Carla Homulca, but as expected, he was released the next day. Why? With Carla. But he's just, ah. Yep. They just let him wait. Because he paid his bond and he left.

But this is the first time he was actually charged with something? Yes. First time ever. Yeah. So he's finally getting his rap sheet that he needs for his rap career. Yes. With Carla gone, Paul took a bunch of pills, drank a lot of vodka, and confronted Carla's mother at her workplace.

Then Paul got his ever-dutiful goon friends to search Carla's vet clinic to see if she was there. Paul, is she a cat? No. No. Is she a German shepherd? No. You know she's a woman.

Ah, God dang it. Is she a table? Do I have to tell you goons how to do every single goddamn thing? All right. She's a woman, first of all. Then that means that's a pile of breasts and she's got two legs. Okay. But when it became clear that Carla was gone, Paul fell into a puddle of self-pity.

Oh. He sat in his so-called music room, set up his video camera, and recorded himself wailing and moaning about his lost love, speaking directly to Carla. He then started talking as if he was going to commit suicide. But when he quote-unquote tried cutting his wrists in front of the camera, he didn't even draw blood. Oh. Oh.

It's just even the thought of it. What? I mean, obviously, suicide's a horrible thing, but just another indication. He could have committed suicide though. Performative. Yeah, I mean, who gives a shit he should have, many, many years ago, perhaps. Two weeks later, he was still wailing into the camera, talking about how he was too young to die.

I'm too young to die. He was doing kind of like that style of like rappers screaming in the rain. You know what I mean? Like him just being like, oh, I got too much love to give. God, don't take me now. Look at him doing his thing where he's just like, God, it's coming for me. Oh yeah, it was the angel of death's coming for me. You're a perfectly healthy young man.

You're just a total and complete douchebag. Yeah, but what about me being sad? Well, meanwhile, Carla had quickly figured out that the best thing to do to keep her own head above water was to flip on Paul as hard and fast as she could. Boom, boom, boom, she flipped. Well, her injuries from his last assault were bad enough to put her in the hospital because as the days passed, her tales of abuse got more and more elaborate. She made claims that he made her sleep in the root cellar, that he threw knives at her,

and that he threatened to kill her and make it look like an accident. Yeah, apparently there was like one thing that she said in this statement that she made. She was like, he would put me down in the root cellar. And then sometimes he'd come and scare me. And what he'd do is he'd stay at the top of the door and say, don't let the night attackers get you and then close the door on me in the dark. And it's the thing where I actually, I think it could have happened, but still, like, you know, you deserved it.

You fucking Carla, I don't know, you guys are all fucking bastards. Yeah, no, you're they're all fucking horrible. All of them are horrible. I mean, they're deeply abused. Everyone was abused. Yeah, there's a lot of, a lot of issues here. Yeah, I mean, she, he may have done those things, but Carla was definitely lying about her mental state.

She claimed to have been both depressed and suicidal. But the doctor's taking care of her so that she didn't appear depressed or suicidal at all. And in fact, was cheerfully taking things quite well. But we will say honestly, one thing I wouldn't caveat, I will put on that is that truly, you never know how you'd react, right? No one really knows how you'd react if you're in this scenario. I truly, I understand that.

But what really then throws all of this under the bus is when you get to the trial and you show the tapes. The tapes are the thing that show who she really was. Yeah, she killed her sister and ate her out. And just moved on. She was just absolutely horrible and of course, abuse in any, in any circumstance is horrible. She continued to plan her wedding. And again, it's just like, I don't know how to say, planning a wedding is stressful enough.

But then finally, two years after Paul Bernardo's sample was sent to the United States for DNA testing, yes, the results came back. O.J. Simpson, what? It was proved that Paul Bernardo was the Scarborough rapist. All right. So Detective Erwin, who had so lazily fucked up during the investigation, he was suddenly interested again. I don't know, as long as he got his nap, he was ready to get back in there.

Yeah, they have to sleep like bears. But I suppose since DNA was still in its early days and wouldn't fully become a part of accepted criminal investigation until the O.J. Simpson trial, Detective Erwin didn't arrest Paul Bernardo. Oh my fucking God. At some point, the cops are complicit in murder. Well, now they feel like they need even more evidence. Why?

Yeah. So more evidence, they get even more evidence. Well, I mean, look at it this way, DNA did not convict O.J. Simpson with as much DNA as there was in that. So I'm going to say there were some circumstantial situations that were outside of the courtroom taking place. The rhymes, do you remember that? The rhymes saved him.

But guess what? With Paul Bernardo, the rhymes damned him. Yeah. Well, I mean, I'll tell you this, they did put a 24-hour surveillance team on Paul and they did tap his phone. They're trying to look for more evidence. They're actually doing due diligence now that the hard work is over and done with. Now they can get to the easy stuff.

And with that, the mountain of information about Paul Bernardo's behavior and demeanor was finally looked at in the correct light and with all of it put together, Bernardo was finally made the prime suspect in the Mahaffey and French murders. I can just imagine the way they tapped their phone to where it's just like, oh, I better call Bubba picks up the phone, you're being monitored by the Canadian police. We want to tell them. Yeah, we want to make sure that they know it's being polite if we did. Bubba, do you think they're monitoring me?

Well, Carla wasn't ready to flip just yet. Instead, she laid more groundwork because Carla was and presumably still is, lethally intelligent. Oh, yes. She's very clever. She proved to be more and more clever as the time goes. And as Henry said, Carla had been reading books about abused spouses. And in these books, all of the fault is removed from the abused partner.

And in a normal abusive relationship, this claim is correct. Absolutely is the fault of the abuse. The fault is entirely on the person committing the crime. Absolutely. But with Carla, this principle was twisted into a kind of alibi for the crimes she committed and participated in. During a five hour long police interview, Carla presented herself as a textbook example of a battered wife, a woman who only ever pretended to like Paul and only married him because

she felt like she had no choice. But Carla was able to get rankled. During the interview, during the interview, the cops asked her about a Mickey Mouse watch she was seen wearing in the photographs, you know, because when someone goes to the hospital for abuse, they take photographs of all the bruises and wounds. Yeah. The reason behind this question was that Christian French had owned that exact same watch. Oh, my fucking God.

She was wearing the victim's watch and it's a Mickey Mouse watch. She was actively, actively wearing it in a box. So she was wearing this as a treasure or as a trophy. We don't know for sure if it is her watch. Carla said that it was the Mickey Mouse watch belonged to her sister and her sister said, yeah, like I've got a Mickey Mouse watch just like that. But it still made the fucking cops and made something go ding, ding, ding, because they knew that psychopaths sometimes took trophies and this watch seemed to be just such an artifact.

At the very least, it was reminding her of the crime. But despite Carla's supposed depression and suicidal tendencies, she began dating again. Just a little over a month after she left Paul Bernardo. Somebody single. What you going to do? Serial killer date.com and he was right there, man. That guy. Yeah.

This man just showed right up for it. Oh, yeah. Jim Hutton. Oh, yeah. He's just like me and honestly, Carla, I love the hair. Yeah. I mean, obviously they're called the Ken and Barbie killers for a reason. I mean, she's fine.

She's fine. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. She's cute enough. Yeah. And you know, Jim Hutton looked a lot like Paul Bernardo, even drove the same car. But according to him, he and Carla mostly ate pizza, had sex and watched hockey.

Canadian edits very best. She should have just done that her entire life. That's great. She was doing all of that, but also keeping sex life. Yeah. I'm saying, you know, car about that. Yeah. Yeah.

When she first figured out that the cops were thinking about involving her in the murder charges, she told her lawyer that she had been involved in the death of her sister. And she told her lawyer that she had been there when Leslie Mahaffey and Kristen French were killed. This is the first time she's coming out with it. Okay. So you were there when three people were killed. But she just kind of floated this, right?

Because she knows that now the fucking, they're really starting to zero in on her. And she's just been like, I actually might know quite a bit about something that happened over there. I don't know what happened. And I was there for it, but we're going to have to wait to talk about it because I'm not ready. I'm not emotionally ready. Oh my gosh.

So Carla and her attorney basically began working the police, setting the scene for the big offer to come. In her next interview with the police, Carla talked further about Paul's abuse. And while this would be a gut-wrenching affair for most people, Carla lit up when people paid attention, almost as if she were feeding on their sympathy. The way I would describe it is that it seemed as if it was a gossip session for her to talk about this shit. I watched a little bit of one of her statements.

One of her statements is like, they have her talking about it. And you could see she tries to act traumatized, not to be anything, but it's weird. She gets caught up in telling the story. And obviously, she's been like, I wouldn't you believe? That kind of stuff. We were like, it's like you're talking with your girlfriend while you're shopping. Maybe she was happy to get it off her chest or maybe, and she also may think that she's really controlling the narrative so perfectly she's gleeful.

Well, the truth is, is that yes, as she started, as the deal started to take form, she became more at ease. Yeah. I'm sure she did. And the detectives did their best to lead Carla to the story that everyone wanted. They would tell her about instances in which abuse victims disassociated themselves from situations in order to survive. And Carla would say, yeah, that's me.

They then told her about battered wife syndrome. I am the most battered wife I might as well be if he's fried. Oh, I am the most. A cod perhaps. Then after it was all over and the cops had a suitably sympathetic view of Carla, she and her lawyer went for the kill shot. Carla would testify against Paul Bernardo in the murders of Leslie Mahaffey and Kristen French, but only if Carla was granted complete and total immunity for the murders of both

girls. Jesus. All right. And they either were like, hmm, tantalizing. Yeah. But what about all? Do you even need her to fucking testify? You got the hours of video tapes.

I don't know. They don't know about that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, last episode, we did go a bit into the paper that Canadian police used to justify Carla's claims. Henry went through it, but it also seems that prosecutors might have been, let's say, a little over eager to get the whole thing over and done with in the easiest way possible.

What else do they have to do? I don't understand it. I've got the biggest pumpkin competitions coming up and my pumpkin is honestly, I haven't been there to encourage it. Why do you have to encourage it? Yeah, you do. You've got to sit there. It's a gourd.

I got to get my wheelchair out. I got to go up to it and be like, girl, you bastard, girl, oh, you're buying others. Sometimes they need some harsh, harsh love. Also, I believe it might be a legume. A pumpkin. A pumpkin's a gourd. It might not be a gourd. I looked it up recently.

Do you know anything now that we just opened ourselves up to with everything that we've done? It's underground. It's a root plant. My gourds go underground every single time I talk about this case. Yeah. That's true. And Carla of Malka will go dig them out for you.

Well, and the Carla, I was about to say in the Carla Gourd scenario, in the Carla Deals scenario. It's a squash. It's good. I'm glad. Good. Thank you. We just avoided letters.

I just got some, I got a fucking answer right today. On the Carla Deals scenario, cops had an eyewitness to all the crimes who could go on the stand and lay out the whole thing for them, instead of them having to go through all the pesky business of building a case. So investigators took the deal. When one of the first caveats of the deal, which I think is very Canadian, is this, they're like, now you got to be, now you got a promise to tell the truth. That's the main thing of the deal, you just have to promise.

You got to promise. Okay. I killed three people and I raped my own sister. Yep. But yeah, I'll promise to tell you the truth. As long as you're honest about it. We love it. We love everything that you say.

But he also, they didn't know that they had it all on videotape yet. This is before they knew that there was all of this other evidence. She's very, very smart because she waited to tell them that it's all on tape. Once all the tape comes out though, can't the cops just say, what about that? Oh, new evidence has come to light, man. Because you're already going to sign the deal. You've already signed the deal. You just got to be a waiter.

And they said, basically they said, we can't renege on a deal. Canadians don't renege. Oh my God. Now, this doesn't mean that Carla wasn't going to serve anytime because that'd just be fucking crazy. But in order to serve that absolute minimum, her lawyer told her that she had to act the part. So she moved back in with her parents and broke up with her new boyfriend.

Fucking a new guy a month after you left your abusive husband and while you're going through a murder plea deal. It looks bad. Looks like you're not taking it seriously. That man seriously just seems like every dude just wants to drink some beer, eat some sa, watch hockey, and then you're like, what are you up to? He dated Carla Homulka. He didn't know.

He didn't know it was Carla Homulka yet. He didn't know. He doesn't know. Yeah. That's a big secret. He is huge. I'm actively being investigated for all the big crimes. You know all the big crimes everybody's talking about?

The Canadians are on. Yeah, you're talking about how the crime of the Edmonton Oilers and their performance is your work. Live from your grave. Meanwhile, cops still hadn't arrested Paul Bernardo. He'd actually started dating again as well. What? Yeah, reconnected with a woman named Marie Magritte.

Now, we say that Carla is a one in a million woman, but Marie seemed to be at least somewhat on the same wavelength. After Marie was suitably impressed with Paul's claims to have gone full time as a rapper. I mean, if you don't have another job, you are a full time rapper. Oh yeah. Yes. After that, the two of them went back to his place where she typed this all little message into the word processor on Paul's computer.

We love Paul with all her heart and soul and promises to have wild and violent sex with him tonight and every night. In response, he promises to be a faithful loyal dog in which sex with any other female is punishable by death by order of her majesty, the Queen Marie, and she will punish him if he is unfaithful. Now, what in the hell is happening? I'm Marie. God, that poor computer having to take all that in.

My goodness gracious. Okay. So she might be a little bit off her rocker, maybe just a little. Maybe. Maybe. She's got a lot going on. Yeah. Yeah.

But about a fucking week later. Yep. I mean, you can't startle them. Yeah. All right. You can't, man, honestly. You gotta let them ease into jail. I guess.

Paul was finally arrested for the murders of Kristen French and Leslie Mahaffey. When he was arrested, though, he acted just as bored and entitled as he'd been every other time he'd been questioned. See, even though he was unstable, Paul still thought that he was invincible. Even after he'd been arrested for two horrific murders, he was still certain that this was just a slight roadblock on his path towards becoming the biggest white rapper in the world. Dude, jeez. He tried to gain weight and actually became the Guinness World Record holder for largest

rapper. Right? Like, he actually might have gotten a way in. That could have been a good hook. Well, I think he's not, I don't know if he's fucking, yeah, big pun. Fatty Blonde. Fatty Blonde would actually work. It's also a good name for a beer.

Mm-hmm. Ooh, yeah. Now, smartly, Paul actually said nothing to the cops concerning his crimes. It was either no comment or I want my lawyer. So when one detective remembered something Carla's mother said about Paul, the detective brought up Paul's theory of life concerning looping, and Paul suddenly came to life. Like music looping? Yes.

Yeah, using the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Using that as an example, Paul went into a long diatribe about beat looping and sampling. The cop, sensing he was getting somewhere, asked Paul if he had a record contract or if his album was finished. Because honestly, I'm liking your style, and I've been looking to get into the talent management business. You know, that's the one nice market that rappers hadn't cornered yet, the police. Mm-hmm.

So if you can get all police to love your rap, that's a niche market inside of a niche market. Yeah. But this line of questioning was unfruitful. What follows here is Paul's true response, said during his interrogation for the murder of two teenage girls. The only time he came alive after saying no comment or I want a lawyer to every other question.

You know, a lot of it's in my mind, you know, because you have a song and you know what you know, you know, what beats going to go to that song, like what the song's about, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then it's sort of like there's preparation time, you know. So if you want to be a writer, you got to go into love songs, you got to pull out how people feel, you know, and you can't just say, there, I love you, you know, that's how you go and you walk on the beach. You have to be able to put it in an image, right?

Like it's like a scenario type scenario where you walk on the beach and through the sand hand in hand. You see how that rhymes, sand and hand. So I've done the research into other people's songs, right? And I pulled out their best images and I spend a lot of time like doing that, you know, plus it's a lot of rhyming and stuff like that. So I spend a lot of time putting words that kind of rhyme, you know, so I could sit here and say, instead of saying rap, say, say rhymes would say like back, you know what I mean,

rap, or something like that. And then you could sit there and you're going to have a whole page of like, what rhymes? I have a rhyme book, dude, to back that up. The rhyme book, it's not as detailed as kind of what I wanted. And that's when the fucking detective said, no, stop it, no more. He is the McDonald pizza of rappers, it is just not good. I did not improv on that. No, like there is no, this is a zero rip from the interrogation that is unbelievably horrible.

Yeah, they then tried moving on the cement. You remember the cement that Leslie Mahaffey was in her body was engaged in after the murder and they did that horribly wrong as well. They started ribbing him about how poorly he'd mixed it. But Paul, deflecting the trademark Canadian passive aggressiveness right back, just said that if he'd mixed the cement, he would have done the job right because he would have read the instructions. Because he would you got to do here and I'm going to fucking scream.

Man, just beaver lumber, they're still just going about their day like nothing happened. No, no, eventually cops got a full search warrant for Paul Bernardo's home. They found blood spots on the wall, newspaper clippings about each of the crimes, test tubes containing mysterious substances and a brown paper bag filled with soiled women's underwear. But what's weird is right, they did not technically find a heck of a lot of physical evidence inside of the house. They found these things and it was really flimsy. The underwear are pretty big of the victims.

But you can you can kind of explain shit away like he buys fucking underwear and he comes in him. Is that a crime? That's what he does, right? Like whatever. But then they found these tapes and they did not know that this was going to happen, right? They found these tapes and oh my gosh, what's on this? I wonder.

All there. Yikes. Yeah, that's the thing. The tapes showed Carla as a willing, lasciviously participating partner, including the tape with the Atlantic City sex worker where Carla, according to Invisible Darkness, didn't look like anyone's victim. You know, not to be too out of school here because she had a signature move. She did have in the video, she had a signature move.

She liked the figure four leg lock, what are you talking about? She liked sitting on a woman's face, right? Like she liked to do the thing. Oh, like Yokozuna. Oh yeah. I mean, like a lot of wonderful women that like to sit on somebody's face, right? And so she that was her thing. And she would do that continuously, very enthusiastically.

Yeah. Okay. But included with the regular sex tapes were the recordings of the rapes of Tammy Hamulka, Kristen French and Leslie Mahathie. So Carla was formally arrested and charged with murder, but deals already made. Yep. This is all just a part of the plan. Yep.

In exchange for her testimony, Carla would receive a 10 year sentence and would be eligible for parole in just three. In the meantime, Carla was sent to a psychiatric hospital until the trial where she was diagnosed with PTSD. Only problem was that while she was under care, she was still sending nude Polaroids of herself to that guy she had dated right after breaking up with Paul over to Jim Hutton. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get a picture of your asshole with a Polaroid? I mean, that is not easy.

It's so difficult. You have to set it up. The timer. I don't even know if they had timers in the early 90s. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. For the Polaroids, of course.

And just about every other aspect of her character was found by other doctors to be wildly inconsistent with the diagnosis of PTSD. But while her immunity applied to Kristen French and Leslie Mahathie, there was still the matter of the murder of her sister Tammy. For that, Carla got two concurrent 12-year terms, which added just a year to her mandatory time before parole. Oh, they didn't add it to the other one? No.

It wasn't 22 years, it was just 12 years total. She gets one like, you're bad. And then that's it. So they all ran concurrent. Oh my goodness gracious. And so Carla Homulka spent four days giving her statement on what happened with the three murdered girls, as well as all the other rapes she and Paul committed. She told the same stories again and again.

But each time, she'd either add details or omit details, depending on who she was talking to. And from what investigators said, she loved every minute of it. Her testimony was too much for some detectives, and one even got physically ill during Carla's testimony. It's so Canadian. That's the thing, man. It does get to a point where I do understand it is very traumatic.

But like, you're a cop. They're on a baby diet. It's hard. It comes up. As such, they took a lot of breaks. And while you'd think that Carla would welcome breaks from reliving all this horror, she told them they were actually taking too many breaks. And if they were taking breaks for her sake, they shouldn't worry because she was doing

just fine. So you mean, Carla? Honestly, if you bring a mannequin in here, I can show you on the mannequin, or what we did. And I actually, I've been drawing a bunch of pictures of it, and I really been thinking about it, I got my buddy Jim, he could stand in for Paul. So the Carla thought the cops were lazy? Well, not lazy.

It wasn't that they were lazy. I think it's that she loved recounting the tales, and she was getting tired of having to stop over and over again. She was getting tired. Right when she was getting going, they'd have to take a break. I think she was just enjoying it too much. Oh my God, another break. So based on Carla's testimony, Paul was formally charged with two counts of first degree murder,

two counts of kidnapping, two counts of unlawful confinement, two counts of aggravated sexual assault, and one count of indignity to a human body. That's of course the dismemberment. And one count of not owning a creme camaro, I can't believe how much creme camaro stuff we talked about. You don't even have it? That's a crime. You don't even have it?

You don't even have it? But you get an award for being the best rapper we've arrested for rape today. Meanwhile, Paul's father was just being released from jail on an unrelated molestation charge. Oh my God, this whole fucking family can do that. That's not his biological daddy. That's just the one who raised him. Okay, great. That just makes me feel worse.

Yeah. And as soon as he was released, he started taking bids on his story about raising the most notorious sex killer in Canadian history. So he was fucking proud of it. Yeah, he loved it. Oh my God, this is so gross. He loved the attention. But also one of the deal, one of the, the only, like, I think, like, good part of the

deal that she got is that she was prohibited from making any money off the story. So she was not allowed to sell her life rights. She wasn't allowed to write a book. So that's the only thing. There was a movie made about her. Yeah, but she didn't make any money from that. And it was just Lauren Prepon. I like her.

That's 70's show. She's good. It's not her fault, but, ooh. Yeah, it's bad. Now, before the trial, prosecutors had to review the tapes Paul and Carla made. Oh, yes. There were, in fact, just two made involving the sexual assaults, but each one was three and a half hours long.

God damn it. That's so fucking brutal. I remember doing grand jury duty and we had to watch an assault. So long. It took place in a, in a hallway. And it is so fucking traumatizing. I feel horrible for the jurors. Truly.

Yes. Talk about having PTSD. I hope they went to therapy after this. Well, the thing is that the family... If you see true horror like that, you never expect to see it. But what's fucked up? I mean, obviously, this is a very complicated issue, but the victims' families were trying to block anybody from seeing.

Yeah, I actually understand that perspective too, but you got to get the guy convicted. If you don't watch the tapes, that was the evidence. Okay, well... That was the evidence. Yeah. Well, the first tape named Red Hot Chili Pepper had sex... Oh my fucking god, I'm going to kill this man. Is he alive so I can go kill him?

Yes, he is. Yeah, he is. Yeah. That had sex acts involving Leslie Mahaffey and Christian French. And also Red Hot Chili Pepper, I don't think it was a reference to the band. It was a reference to the fucking Hot Wings place that Paul liked. I'm just so much more mad at this. Yeah, that it's wing-based?

I can't believe you brought food into this, especially one of my favorite foods, chicken wings. You're bringing wings into this? I'm going to fucking kill this man. Also, wings are how him and Carla met. Yeah. Oh god, just gripping each other, just rubbing her clit with this spicy finger. It had to happen sometimes, though, in consensual relationships.

You really shouldn't, though, you need to wash your hands before you touch somebody's private parts. I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing. Don't even pick your nose. Sometimes you get so riled up because the wings are there. No, I know. I went to the bathroom actually recently after having some hot wings, not fully washed my

nuts. I was like, well, they're alive. You definitely felt that. The second tape was a continuation of Christian French, but also had the rapes of Tammy Lan and Jane Doe. In this one, despite Carla's claims to the contrary, she could clearly be seen pouring halophane on a cloth repeatedly and holding it over Jane's face. From what people who saw it said, Carla was having one hell of a time throughout.

She really was. At this point, the plea deal is done and she goes on and she still testifies against him. The jurors must have been like, get the fuck out of here. I mean, Dave, it's hard. If no one's getting charged with a crime, then what the fuck are the jurors have to do with it? Well, they're also being instructed, right? Because basically they say she has a deal.

She is not like, because she's not a part of the, she's already going to be punished on the side. We're going to do it. But now you're going to listen to her as if she is a very important witness. The rest of the tapes contain six and a half hours of voyeurism from girls undressing through bedroom windows to two different segments of girls urinating. There was also a 70 minute segment in which Carla role played as Tammy. This was after Tammy had been killed.

So gross. Meanwhile, more and more people were starting to see through Hamoka's ruse. Although by this point, it was too late to do anything about it. Hamoka's ruse sounds like a chess move. It does sound like a Polish romance. One doctor said that she showed no lasting signs of abuse. And the only thing wrong with her was that she was stressed about going to jail. Others noticed that she would lie if it was in her best interest to do so.

And again, her stories changed depending on who she was talking to. She also used the recovered memory trick. Oh, no, no, no. I just remembered something else. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Big Bird was there. And Big Bird.

Oh, no kidding. Of course, she learned that from her favorite book in high school, Michelle remembers. Hey, we also have to remember, Paul did join the Masons during this whole time period. There's some people who wonder if he was a part of some system, some other man. Some people. Some group. Because if you haven't watched program to kill part 63, you don't know enough to talk about this case.

I don't think it's quite smart enough to be recruited by anybody. I don't know if the Illuminati is even smart themselves. The dumbest, biggest conspiracy. Yeah, the Illuminati. Well then. Well then, it came time for the trial. Over the course of nine days, Carla casually testified on her version of events while talking the jury through all of the videos, which were shown three times in their entirety during

the trial. Oh, my God. You can just see it like, and then that's when we did that. And then I took the, then it took the nuts out of the lizard. Yeah. And then we had lunch. Yeah. And then it's like, oh my fucking God.

In all of the, watch a bunch of coverage of the trial, in one of my favorite bits was they really focused on, there was one guy that was an expert called by the, who's called by the prosecution, whose only job was to prove that it was, that Paul was able to move a 200 pound concrete block from his house to the, where they dumped the body, right? And he's just, he's like, and we went out there, we mixed the concrete and we moved a 200 pound thing, and honestly at the very end, you really got to look up to Paul for the amount of work that he did. Oh my God.

He's just gonna die. I am so upset. It's just simply, it was exhausting. Oh God. And the fact that he even went and did it was just like, cause then I see, as I'm doing, I'm like, why am I even doing this? And I forget I'm a paid investigator for the prosecution. Yeah, that's right.

And theoretically you're pretending you were your murderer trying to hide a body. I got the tips going, as you can see. Yeah. My tip is going. I learned some rhymes. I mean, that's the thing. When Carla was up there, like she had a complete and total change in personality. She's just fine.

She wore no makeup. Talking through all this shit. Very, she dressed very, she wore, dressed down and it was very just like. She went the humble Casey Anthony approach. Yeah. Yeah. And the prosecutor said, no, no, no. The change in the personality, it's cause she's coming out from under Paul's shadow.

That's why she's fine now, but the doctor on the other side said, no, no, no. We can use that same data to indicate that this woman is a psychopath. Sure. You could have. Yeah. But as Carla got more and more attention with each passing day, she got stronger and more self-assured. Every day she appeared fresher than the day before, as if she was looking forward to reliving

the horrors she'd seen during her time with Paul Bernardo. Maybe the anti-Michael Jackson approach, because by the end of his trial, he was very sad and tired. He was tired. Yes. As for Paul's testimony, he did, he took the stand and he also enjoyed it. This is his big moment. This is the biggest crowd he's ever performed in front of.

It really is true. Mom's spaghetti. It shows it. Yes. Like it really does. Like you could see whenever he has a chance like that interrogation video I watched, once he's on camera, he really thinks he's a fucking superstar. Oh my God.

He got to review each of his trophies in minute detail and he got to watch his videos out in the open, savoring the shattering effect they had on everybody in the room. As for the prosecution's part, they were inadvertently playing along. During the video of Jane Doe, the prosecuting attorney went blow by blow with Paul on a close-up shot of Paul wiping blood away from her anus. And the prosecutor kept somehow incorrectly mispronouncing the word anal as anal. Come on, man. We just got to fucking stop this already.

U.S. criminal justice. We got problems. We got problems. We got problems. But this is like a different kind of problem in the world. There was also a clip and I mean it. He did the Norm MacDonald thing where they were saying, there's a clip, right? Note to self?

Well, he is watching this video and you know, all of the shit's going on. Like it's like it's the end of a rape. And then he goes to Carla, he screams at her, go get me a tissue, you idiot, right? He go get me a tissue. In the courtroom. In the courtroom. They show this video. And then when he said he'd be like, honestly, you could say a lot about a lot of bad things

about me, obviously, because at the end of that video, I was a real jerk. You were a real fucking jerk, Paul. It's not even a bit. You were a jerk. He does that thing and he's like, but you know, is it illegal for me to be a jerk? Oh my God. And they're like, yeah, it is. You were a rapist.

Yeah. You were a jerk. His thing is, is that he admitted to doing the sexual assault. Like he said, obviously this, but I didn't kill anybody. She did. Off camera. She was killing him. Yeah.

And also when the prosecution was going through like that whole video, you know, with Jane Doe, they played it multiple times for Paul and kept making him go over it over and over and over again. Well, it's because again, they're just so naive because they just, I went over. But in the end, Carla's testimony was really all that was needed to pen the murders on Paul Bernardo. He was found guilty on all counts and was sentenced to life in prison. And today he lives in a plexiglass cell like fucking Magneto, unable to congregate with

other prisoners out of the certainty that he will be murdered. I got an email from someone I can't name, but they did say, because you know, who knows, who knows who, if it's correct or not, but it did sound interesting basically saying like Paul Bernardo spends his life, he gets one hour of recess a day. He lives in a, he lives in a fucking plastic square. Just another larger square. Yes. And then he spends most of his day shadow boxing and he said what he's doing, he's prepping

for when he finally get out there, mix it up with all these fuckers trying to kill me. Yeah. My God. Meanwhile, he just runs right back to protective custody. He is not trying to go to jail. No, I did read one comment. I don't know if this is true, but someone said that they have to bring his meals in like randomly from restaurants outside because the staff, if they know it's Bernardo's food,

they piss in it and spit in it and jerk off in it and so on and so forth. He deserves that for the rest of his life. I mean, it happens. A lot of people do. Except he gets better food. Cause he's getting it from restaurants. Yeah. As for Karla, she had a long journey all of her own through prison, which will cover on

a future relaxed fit episode. We are really a whole different side quest. Oh, yes, man. She really did go and she lived a whole life. I bet she kind of didn't have the worst time when in prison, she did say in prison. She said, I have never felt as safe as I do in prison now that I'm away from Paul. Yeah. And she's praying on God knows who in there few people.

But regardless of your, but regardless of her adventures, Karla did indeed serve her entire sentence, paltry sentence of 10 years. She was released on July 4th, 2005 with a statement from a judge that said that Karla was still very much a risk to the public at large, but it might be that the judge was wrong. Although we don't know for a fact that Karla Hamoka has been a model citizen since her release. She certainly hasn't been arrested for anything else, nor has she even been suspected of another

crime as far as I know. Most likely, all of Karla's juice is used up. The juice has been loose and now the juice is dry. Unlike male serial killers, Karla seems to have committed these crimes out of desire rather than compulsion. See, we've seen it again and again. Male serial killers like Andre Cicatillo, Andre Cicatillo was killing, killing, killing, went into prison, came out of prison, tried to not kill and started killing again.

Right. There's something to do with how evil the penis is. The penis just becomes a compulsion and they can't escape it. It's a compulsion. It is a mental illness. It is a horrible mental illness. Yes, horrible, horrible mental illness. I don't know if we need to blame it up on a appendage that has no...

My penis makes me do... Sometimes you've got to get the devils out just so that you can lose. Yeah, you say that quite often. Yeah, I mean, these guys have a compulsion. They keep going even after it's obvious that they will get caught if they keep going. But Carla has no such compulsion. She did the crimes because she wanted to, because it scratched an itch. Now she either no longer wants to do it or she knows that if she does, she will go to

prison for the rest of her life. Now, she did get married to her lawyer's brother after prison and she did have children with him. But from last reports, Carla Hamulca now lives in Quebec alone. And God willing, that's where and how she'll die. Nice. Can you... What is it like to be like, hey, mom, what was, what, oh, God, you know when you discovered...

What you do during the 90s, where were you when 9-11 happened? You know, you discovered like when you, you know, as you get older, you realize your parents are just people. And you're like, yeah, I did make mistakes, I get it. I'm not going to hold these grudges because when my dad was 30, he had three kids. I don't know how to... Also... But like when you realize your mom is a person, but then also one of the worst serial rapist

murderers in Canadian history. I don't know. Gosh, I don't know. That's a tough Thanksgiving day. How does Jay Leno's kids live? Jay is just... He just wants to fuck cars. God, I watched four minutes of that show.

I've never... He literally... He looks at cars like they are... Sexual. That's just very weird to me. Also, if anybody, what I've been trying to find and scouring the internet for and can't find, Paul Bernardo wrote a novel from jail, a sci-fi novel called A Mad World Order. And this is the description of it.

The overwhelming firepower directed at them meant, however, all of the Zetas were meeting their fate. Bodies with guns attached, flailed upon the bullet's impact, blood, flesh, and bones exploded from multiple parts of their bodies as the oversized bullets flew through them. The white cement and stucco house and its patio was left behind with gray tan and crimson pieces of body art and blood. Why are they oversized bullets? It is the...

I don't know. It's about the Russian plot to take over a social media site and satisfy ambitions to establish itself as an international superpower. Strangely accurate. Yeah. Isn't that weird? He actually did call... He did call Facebook, though.

He did. Or Metta, whatever the fuck it's called now. Fuck him and fuck Metta. Fuck the whole fucking thing. I hope it sinks into the fucking ocean. Fuck all these. Well, that we... You did this.

That one against our positive conclusion we were trying to wrap up here. Right. So there it is. The disgusting tale of Carla Hamulka and Paul Bernardo as we talk about all the time. Be careful who you are in relationships with. Be careful who you follow. Just be careful of the people that are around you. If everyone seems to be doing bad things, then you're going to be complicit.

Oh, God. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Just be careful. Be careful. All right. Well, thank you all so much for listening. We have a couple of things we really want to stress to you.

So as... Stress it. Stress it. We're going to be here in the show. North Carolina, we are coming to you. South Carolina. We are going to be in Durham and Raleigh and it can't wait to be there and it's going to be super fun.

So get those tickets. Yoss. And we also don't forget about our weed line. Check out all the vapes. We got to move them vapes. Put them in your lungs. Put them in your brain. It's really tasty.

I love our vapes. Yeah, they're very tasty. And don't forget Spring Hill Jack Coffee. You got to get that mothman. But then you got to put it in your fucking guts and you can shit your pants. The Velvet Underground series is going great for no dogs. Thank you. Listen to all of the other...

We have all these other shows. We have great shows. Spon and Tophead, Dune, Dune has another one, Whiskrew, you guys know all the fucking shit. And again, we cannot wait to be wide in February. So right now, go to Spotify, support us and we'll be everywhere in February. Including Spotify. Including Spotify, of course.

No, all love still there. You can't fucking escape us. All right. Well, you can. You can't. You actually have to actively seek us out. Fucking effort. You can definitely escape us.

Yeah, I guess that's true. It's the opposite of what they can do. Most people actually do escape us. Yeah. It's pretty difficult to get a following over the past decade. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much. Also, we did this show for a decade.

Carl, the homoca. She could have had a podcast, didn't she? Yeah. Isn't it? All right. Thank you all so much for listening. Hope you're doing well out there. Hail yourselves.

Hail Satan. Everybody take care of yourselves. Hail me, my fucking little girl. Absolutely. Be safe, OK? And have a good Halloween. Yeah, you better. Oh, my goodness.

And if you can, give out the big Snickers. Give out big Snickers. Come on. Give out the big candy. Don't be cheap this fucking year. Come on. Kids have been having a hard time. They've got to go to school with all this stuff.

Parents are fighting each other. OK, stop. Give them the fucking balls, Jack. Give them a big old candy bar or something. No weed. Don't drug anything. Who's giving away weed? That's a good point.

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