Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 51: Gucci and Dogs and HAARP

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

The boys explore the phenomenon of super-storms, from the (true) claim that Obama used HAARP to create Hurricane Sandy in an attempt to sway the election (WHICH WORKED) to macabre details of the great Galveston hurricane of 1900 in which 8000 souls perished.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Man, New York, baby. New York City. Nothing bad happens here.

Can't kill New York, you stupid weather. God tried to kill New York and then we beat God. Good stuff. You could really argue he won this one. Well, Ridgewood did really well. Where I'm from was not touched by the storm and we're doing really well just being drunk eating food. So did Williamsburg, so apparently God doesn't hate gays.

That's very nice. So now we are recording. Yes. And that is Marcus and then I am Ben and then we got that guy over there that I'm looking at right now with a mustache and a cute face. Big ol' New York Henry Zabrowski. Big ol' New York Henry Zabrowski. We're spreading the news, Obama created Hurricane Sandy.

This is big. This is big. This is what happened, ladies and gentlemen. Marcus, you're not sold yet on this subject. I am not. It all comes down. Because you have no vision. You have your narrow of mind.

You don't know exactly how to search proper things on YouTube. God damn it. Ever since you converted him to this David Ike bullshit, reptilians did not cause this hurricane, however. So David Ike is wrong about that. It was Obama who was not technically the reptilian. The big thing, unless he's a reptilian shadow puppet, that's a whole other thing. There's a lot of people, David Ike has two running theories about Barack Obama.

He thinks that maybe that he's a full on reptilian, but he could also possibly just be a shadow puppet of the reptilian agenda. I'm going to go with shadow puppet, but that's fine. We're not going to talk about that right now. Well, it's just because you don't look at his head formation, though. This is what, I read this online, you talk about he's got a very elongated shape head like a gray. Yeah.

And that may be a racist thing that some people said on the internet, comparing his black head to an alien's head. But at the same time, if you look really closely for a very long time at a picture of Barack Obama, you can slowly but surely imagine the alien that lies underneath his skin. That's right. That's telling him what to do. I can definitely see it scaling. So today's episode, let's just start up, we haven't even intro'd.

So Hurricane Sandy, huh? Yeah. That's a news item. That's your intro? You do the intro. So today, basically, we're going to be discussing weather patterns and weather activity that have gone on throughout history. Superstorms.

Superstorms that have had impact on political situations, on other life situations. And this is not necessarily paranormal, but it's important to understand that the more we research, it's an ever-widening net of things that all connect back to what could be called the great work of the ages, which is the Freemason's grand agenda for the human race. Interesting. And it could start from there and lead all the way to here in the year 2012, Hurricane Sandy, right?

Hurricane Sandy, devastating superstorm, Frankenstorm, it has been called. A combination of many different fronts, yes. The thing is, is that I shaked my lighter at it, and it's supposed to be Frankenstein was afraid of fire. If you look at the lower Frankenstein, which is also real, that's right, that's right. And indeed, I think it's Frankenstorm because Obama and the Obama administration is Frankenstein and they created the storm. They created the monster.

Yes. And it all goes back to this little thing we have called HARP, H-H-R-P, H-A-A-R-P. What is the... The great frequency active aurorial research program. Now I think we brought this up once before, or we tried to do a podcast on it and it was just too complicated. I think that might have been it, yeah. So I really got into this like recently because I started looking up like paranormal storms

because originally I was like, we'll do a whole episode about pirate ghosts. It's raining skulls and bizarre eye patches. Yeah, it's just not real that doesn't happen. Is that a wooden leg that just fell from the sky? Pirates were just cankers or ridden thieves. I think you fell asleep while playing the end of Super Mario Brothers 3 or 2, whichever one. That's what I did.

2, 2, okay. I started researching about HARP. Now HARP is a, it is a research facility in Alaska. It's an Alaska. Now what I love about this, it's so, it's so deep and it's just, because it's very secret because the government can't let you know. Well it's not that secret. They give you yearly tours and they show you everything.

They have open weekend. Right. It's like... They do have open weekend. Yeah, because Jesse Ventura showed up at the office as a HARP and was like, let me in. And they're like, no, not today. There's visiting days next week, which they do have. Anybody can just walk in there.

But with this... I do that at the deli. As soon as he gets closed, let me in. Let me in. We're closed. And I'm like, what are you doing with the meat? What are you doing with the meat in there, deli? But the...

So this research facility basically monitors the actions that happen in the atmosphere, which is like the electronic halo that exists around the earth that technically doesn't have any effect on the weather. It's too high for that. But no, but you could see... But that's where they drop the chem bombs, the chemical bombs and the... No, they do other things too, where it's like... So what this is, what HARP is, is a series of antennas that work the opposite of radio

antennas, right? They send high-frequency energy rays into the atmosphere and agitate it, right? Okay. And they do specific... Imagine the earth is in a fucking soup dumpling made out of electrons. Second episode in a row that we have a soup dumpling reference, which I think doubles up any podcast in the history of pumpkins. It's not just a reference, but an analogy.

But this is appropriate. Imagine earth is the succulent ball of pork meat inside of a soup dumpling, right? And that the juice in the soup dumpling, the soup as it were, is the juice. Okay. That surrounds the meat in there, which is the earth, is the actual atmosphere. But the thin line of delicious pasta dough that surrounds the outside of that, that's the atmosphere, right? It protects us.

There are some dry pussies listening to this right now. That is the talcum powder of pussies right there. Not unless they want to be with me. Henry's saying juice. And there are people that are very... If you are attracted to that, just send an email. Because when it comes down to it, we will be together for the rest of our lives. Right, right.

Yeah. Whatever sex you are. That's right. That... No, I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. Okay. So the earth is the center of the dumpling.

We've got juices around. Which is just the regular atmosphere. And the ionosphere is what keeps us safe from all of the energies coming in from space. It's this giant circle of electrons. The radiations. Yes. And what they do normally, using AM radio and various other things, is that you bounce the signal off the ionosphere and it goes to another location.

And this is how they spread right-wing propaganda. This is how they spread right-wing propaganda. This is how we get cheers reruns. It all goes up from the ionosphere and back. Well, that's how AM radio works versus FM. FM is a direct type of signal. Yes. Whereas AM, at night, you can sometimes get radio signals from hundreds of thousands

of miles away. Really? Which is like coast to coast as a gigantic audience. So real quick, how does AM end up losing this FM AM war? Sound quality. Sound quality. Yeah. But to what work does...

Which I guess you don't need if you're on fucking Rush Limbaugh or coast to coast. No, no. Sound quality on coast to coast. Oh, no, no, no. It's a step up from AM radio. They don't pay attention to the levels. Right, right, right. Because just, I can just imagine the basketball-sized, like, mic guard that Alex...

Oh, my God. That's his name he needs. Well, I didn't have... I don't have any money for lunch. I guess I'll just take this big turkey leg for my microphone. George Norrie just, like, talking with the microphone in his mouth. But... So what the harp does...

What the harp does is it shoots a very high-powered frequency into the ionosphere and agitates it. Because the idea is the research center is supposed to be there to help improve communications during solar flares. Okay. And so what they do is they artificially create solar flares in the ionosphere and basically trying to figure out, like, how can we make communication clearer? But what they're also finding is, is, like, there's many different things that could

be linked into it. They have something about, like, 200 different patents all listed under this covert operation that is hard. But super, because what they're trying to do is they're trying to improve submarine communication. Because submarine communication uses this special frequency because they can't use electricity because they're underground. Right.

So they use sonar right now. They use sonar. And they bounce it off the ionosphere. Right. And they're trying to figure out a clearer way to do that. But what they're also discovering is... The bread of the dumpling. Mm-hmm.

Yes. This is good. I wish I had you as my science teacher, by the way, because he's speaking my language right now. If you could relate everything science related to a food. Yeah. And science is for fat kids. Yeah.

Exactly. That's for the fat kids. You can't throw a ball, but you can get ladies by being a millionaire, you can invent a new dildo plastic. Ooh, it's pizza and helium Tuesdays. I think I'll be there. Boy, the man that figured out silicone was better than rubber. Absolutely.

Apparently, I'm more of a dildo scientist than you guys are. Jesus fucking Christ. By the way, we're brought to you now by adamandeeve.com. Are we? Yeah. Did you wait to tell us until now on purpose? Yeah. Fucking dickhead!

Yeah! We can pay for this. Fuck you. Shut it down. Yeah, this is the best part. It's like, that's why I'm... I mean, I have a butt plug up inside me right now, and that's what helps me do the podcast, as it helps me be funny.

And that's one of my favorite adamandee bump. I'm constantly on the verge of prostate orgasm. If you go to adamandeeve.com and you input the code CCR, check out... We get a little cut of your dildo money. Hell yeah. Great. Wow. All right.

Well, let's go back. So buy some dildos and jam them up inside of yourself. Don't die though. We get blamed for that too. This is really complicated. It's really hard to explain. But what they've discovered is that when you shoot that frequency up into the ionosphere, is that you can bend it.

Or what they're afraid of is if you do too much, is that you'll break it. And because the earth turns into single beam... Are we still talking about butt dildos here? But they're basically saying that if you bend it in specific situations where there's already like a lot of like... This is where weather... A lot of energy... Part of it.

Like already up going on is that you can move air drifts into each other strategically and create an artificial hurricane. And that's part of where this idea came from. And on Infowars, they're very upset with Barack Obama because they're pretty certain that this very coincidental appearance of Hurricane Sandy, week before election, will push it his way because it's going to be harder for older people to leave their houses to go vote. Which is Romney's bread and butter because he's a piece of shit of the past. With Romney wanting to cut FEMA, funding for FEMA, stuff like that, that really got highlighted.

What an idiot. He's an absolute putz. Barack Obama definitely used this for his benefit. And as we were talking about on yesterday's content... But this is going to come out after the election anyway, so we'll see what the... We'll see if we're accurate. This is going to go on for weeks and weeks. But with Libya, I was like it wasn't with the ambassador being killed, not a conspiracy,

Obama didn't benefit, Hurricane Sandy, you can't argue that he did not benefit. So it fits right in there with the conspiracy theory. And this weather pattern just came out two weeks ago. I don't know, two weeks ago everyone was like, it's going to be a great weekend. The New York City Marathon was still on. Oh yeah. We're all ready to go. All of a sudden...

Fuck the marathon. Out of the clear blue sky literally comes Hurricane Sandy, which isn't a coincidence. Or Joe Obama. Yes. Yes. No, that's the right answer. That's the right answer. But let's go see what Hong Kong has to say about it.

But then they lump a lot of stuff into that too. Also harp is... There's a lot of people who believe... So the human brain creates waves that go from four megahertz to 100 megahertz in our heads. Those are what our thoughts are. Of course, that's why it hurts when you think so much. Adam and Eve.

Can we have a moment of silence for how bad that was? No. It wasn't that bad with the megahertz. Okay, but I did not think it was that bad. So I'll give you the moment. But they do believe that a part of what harp is capable of, they create these ultra low frequency waves. And a part of things, there's a great website called IlluminatiWatch.com, which we got to

put up on the Facebook page, which is really cool. The way they break down this one thing, where there's all these studies that show that guys who work in electrical cables that run from these ultra low frequency, basically working electric cables, coming off these electric cables, this ultra low frequency energy waves that make these people super depressed. And they say there's a spiking suicide rate in these people who work on super high powered electrical lines. Really?

And that what they believe a part of what harp can do, which they've talked openly, including weather manipulation, which is a very, like they've talked about since 1967, knowing that they can manipulate the weather. Dubai actively does it. Dubai made jungles within the desert using harp like antennas in order to steal moisture from one area. Let's just continue on because I think it's interesting. Once Dubai comes into it, there's a lot of stuff in there.

No, it's interesting though. So they can control the weather enough to change actual life on earth or is it just more? Because I always thought they used it for more defensive reasons. Because I know they've been studying, if you see a hurricane beginning, you could literally drop a bomb into it or a whole bunch of different things and try to disperse the weather pattern, which seems to be, that seems like a rational thing that we should be able to do. I mean, we got a shit ton of nukes.

We did it in Vietnam. I don't know if you nuked the hurricane. You don't just nuke everything in Texas, Marcus. We got to do something with them. They actively did it in Vietnam, during Vietnam. That was a big thing. That's why they talk about why we do not consider Vietnam like a loss and why we never considered a war.

Like, hey, we can have a whole bunch of exercises done, wow, I just hit my, I just burped and hit this thing all at once inside of myself. I am not a reputable source of information. First of all, I just want to put that out there. I think you have to burp a couple of times when you're talking about harp and weather affairs and theaters. Without a doubt. Otherwise, you are not at all.

But we did. We created rainstorms over Vietnam as a part of a weather manipulation, like weapons program. And what they're saying now. They just gave them like great crops for the summer. No, we used it. We created a thunderstorm that destroyed this whole supply area that we destroyed a bunch of farms. Like we apparently generated a, yeah, we generated a flood that created like a total chaos in

their farming system. And we did that as an experiment. But what they're also saying harp is capable of is that using special low frequencies that match human, like our human brains, they said that harp can make something like super low frequencies is like an offshoot of like the super high power beam they shoot up creates like low frequency all over the place. And what they're discovering is that they can, they can like target it and suppress a people into like being depressed, into being inactive and being unable to fight.

And they're starting to say that they're going to use it on America, that they use it on us in order to manipulate our brains. And so is, so this is like all electronical. There's no actual tangible thing, right? Because I know there was that one bomb that we were using in the military that we were going to use in the Middle East that made everybody really homosexual and made them like really, really love. Yeah.

The gay bomb. The gay bomb. Yeah. It's great. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. It's a wonderful game. I mean, it hits SOHO every single weekend.

Take a gay bomb. Yeah. I mean, I know it. Maybe it's already here. I'm back. I just, I just, I just take a gay bomb. I put it in a pillow. And I have a great time.

I got, my roller skate wheels are just worn down. Metropolitan Bar, a great gay bar here in Williamsburg. I don't have any wheels anymore. Just squares. Just squares. It doesn't matter. I don't need them anymore because I'm always sitting on a penis. This is really interesting stuff.

So they're going to be able to make everybody very sad, but I guess you could use it for more of a positive thing if you want to, like if you're in Alaska, I would assume people are relatively depressed there. The cold season, it's dark for 30 days and 30 nights. Yeah. It could be nice if you had a population that could be a little bit more enthused. So they could use it for positive reasons as well. No, it could only, it could only depress us.

It can never make you happy. No, because that's, they're saying that these ultra low frequencies, like it hooked up in your brain and basically slow you down. And so, but I mean, there must be a way to reverse it then. I mean, I guess why would the sweet, sweet cocaine. Oh yeah. Rock and roll music. We've been trying to do it in Mexico for years.

Katie Perry's breasts. Oh, she'll make anybody happy. Jesus Christ. Yeah. It affects that. I don't know if Katie Perry would be very good in the old bedroom, but we can talk about that later. That's more of a page seven story.

That's more of a page. And then we don't try it on other people's territory. Yeah. We try not to. Don't do that. We stay in one area. And so, is there any evidence that they've used this sort of technology yet to suppress a people?

Or is this still just. Absolutely not. No. Of course. No evidence. What evidence? This is the government we're talking about. Hey man.

Cover it up, man. You think this is a cover up? These are nine to five office workers every day. Right. They're really getting good benefits covering up the crazy shit that we do in the Middle East. Well, man, I mean, it really makes a lot of sense. No, it really does.

Yeah. I mean, do we do it to Seattle? It rains all the time there. Everyone's very depressed there. But we got grunge music and that was a big thing for the government. They were so excited because what people didn't know is that George Bush Sr. was very angsty. He was. All the time he sat in office.

He's like, how do we depress the people so that I can just get some good old fashioned music that matches my fucking mood? Yeah. It's true. Too many people feeling the noise. Yeah. Feeling the funk. Too many people going to Paradise City.

I mean, the 80s. Too many people eating cherry pie. I want a song called Rate Me. That's right. That's right. It makes a lot of sense. In the 80s, everyone was voting crazy, doing cocaine, having a great time, trying to vote multiple times.

Early 90s, suppressed the vote. No one who's depressed wants to go vote for somebody they already hate. It's a very good strategy. It didn't really work for them. So maybe that's why it hasn't been done yet. Again. That's interesting. I love these weather fans.

But there's a lot to it. I mean, the big thing is that it's just very covert and there's a lot of conspiracy theories you can shove in there because no one knows what the fuck it does. Right. Like I just said a bunch of words. They were nothing to me. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how you remembered all of that because I watched a bunch of stuff

on it. I've been reading about it for months, but then I just like how it just fits into the overall sort of like it could be a part of a grand plan because there's also a lot of people. Again, on InfraWars talked a lot about this is really interesting that, you know, the World Bank, they saying the IMF came out and said that we're not going to give certain countries loans who don't figure out how to lower their population by a certain year. And that is also a gigantic NWO like agenda point where it's like you have to lessen the

population of the earth because then it's easier to control. And then part of that is that another thing you can do is you can get people used to a certain level of horrible living by suppressing their thoughts using low frequency energy waves. I mean, it's a great point. You can't really argue with it. I mean, I mean, you can. Yeah, of course.

Of course. And I was gonna, but I don't think I'm gonna do it because the only argument you have to do is no, that's not true. You're like, you're right. Probably not true, but you could argue a smaller population is going to be easier to control and a suppressed people are going to be much, much easier to control. So if they have this technology and if you're in power, there is no reason for you not to use it.

If you really like being in power, if that's what they love to be, that's why they're there. Being president makes your dick so hard. Super hard. Oh yeah. You know, you want to be president. That's actually cancer. That's just a cancer.

So if you're a president, you have really hard balls right now. Get it checked out. I hope your balls are soft. They're fine. Oh, I'm sure they're. I love him though. At the same time, I really just don't trust. I like him.

Yeah, it's fine. I still, he's a, he's a disease individual whose, whose own ego makes him a monster. Sure. That's also us. Exactly. I like you. Yeah. Yeah.

We were talking about David IQ's. He claimed to be the son of Jesus. And now he has a lot of stuff going on. He goes. He's like, these people just want power. It's like, well, you claim to be the Christ child. I just think he had, he had a lot of, I think he really got into a bunch of candy, a bunch of Halloween candy.

And he was all jacked up by the sugar. And then he was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And he goes to bed. He puts on his sleeping cap. It's got reptiles all over it. He goes back to sleep in a race car basket. He's got one of those carousels over just a little reptile.

We love you, David. That's the whole thing. He's just lost an iguana when he was a child and he's been, ever since then he's been crazy about it. It's very sad. Do you know it? Cause the, the YouTube clip that I saw when it comes down to Hurricane Sandy, they said that they were doing these things called chemical dumps, which are shifting the hurricane.

And then the lady also mentioned infasonic undulation, which I just love that word, infasonic undulation. And that is harp doing that. That's what they're talking about. Oh, very interesting. And that's where that would be harp manipulated the atmosphere in order to allow

gusts to like shift together. Basically, they moved the northeaster in and they moved the hurricane in and they moved that cold front in. That made it so gigantic. Which shut down our financial system and you know that those crooked motherfuckers down there are burning boxes of files in the dark every night

because that's what they do. I don't have your fucking money, dude. Listen, bro. Henry, there's not just one fucking made-up. Put down my drumstick. Jesus Christ. You waving that thing around like you're the fucking Wizard of Oz.

And who's to say I'm not? I pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. It's just a fat man in a reptilian shirt. I'm wearing my reptilian shirt. I love your reptilian shirt. But no, I mean, of course, we can change subjects to something slightly more historical, but the real issue here is climate change

and that's what we need to address. The oceans are rising. We should probably do something about that. Yeah, well, I've got something to refute that. We literally must do that. Yeah, we have to. This is getting very serious. It's really bad.

New York was almost destroyed. New York is so much more important than most of the rest of the world. It is the only important place in America. Don't let New York get destroyed. Washington was close and that would have been fucking cool. Yeah. Because then we would actually see

in the shadow government. Yes, yes. But there's all, there is. But that's why it afforded Washington to set it up. But a big section of HAARP is funded by black ops and that is true. And that is black operations and the black budget. It's all stuff that Congress is even allowed to read about.

It's super top secret. And that is, there is a part of it. And HAARP is a big thing that is the defense department runs like a quarter of HAARP. So it's like HAARP has got like all the scientists like doing legitimate sort of like environmental science that other people have misgivings about because they're afraid what it will do to the ionosphere.

They're afraid that like big spikes in energy is that they'll literally poke a hole in the ionosphere and then fuck everything up for us. But then the government also is partially researching how you can pinpoint making holes in the ozone using HAARP like material. Which is used to release greenhouse gases and stuff as well. They're trying to use it to alleviate some of those.

And also I think- No, no, no, they try to use it to let in harmful sun rays onto countries that we hate. Like a magnifying glass, sort of a larger magnifying glass on an anvil. And they get cancer. And they get cancer. It's a long game.

It is a long game. They would probably just die of cancer anyway or a random Shelling or suicide bomber. There's a bunch of it that's like you'll, there's a bunch of it that we'll never understand. And there's a bunch of stuff that's like really interesting that they're making. The other thing is also how to create nuclear type blasts

using not radioactive material, using energy from the sun. And that's another thing. Like harnessing, like making a mini-hole immediately in the atmosphere and then creating a gigantic explosion using pure sun rays. I think that's a really- That's insane.

That's great. And basically it just also comes down to the fact that HAARP is just a wonderful acronym for a villainous super demon group that wants to take over the world. I guess if I was in charge of HAARP, I purposely, I would like shave my head. I'd wear a gold like zip-up suit

with like a turtleneck on it and like with a lizard on my shoulder, just being like, everything's fine. Yeah, with a picture of yourself that just says, Welcome to HAARP. We do the most wonderful things on HAARP. And you turn around just a large photo of yourself painting that.

Do not enter the basement. There's nothing for you in the basement. See my shiny globules. Ew, he's got the ferniest lava lamps in here. Is that a fucking Puma jumpsuit? I'm going to buy it. I love this place. The gift shop is amazing.

It was the only place we were allowed to go to, but it was amazing. I got a snow globe. I got a snow globe. I got a snow globe. I got a real snow in there. Look, it's got a Mac store and it's got a Gucci store where they sell little dogs.

It's Gucci and dogs. Gucci and dogs are my favorite two things. Yes, welcome to HAARP. I hope you enjoy your shoving day. No. Gucci and dogs is probably the greatest store of all time that needs to open up immediately. That is a recession-proof store.

Honey, I want to go to Gucci and dogs. I just got you a fucking Gucci and I just got you a fucking dog. Shut up! Shut up, Lindsay! I can't be going out and buying you fucking dogs and fucking pigs on a live long fucking day! This dog's shed.

It's got poop all over its butt. I want a new dog! Marcus, do you have actual stories about real storms that existed? I guess. As soon as I calm down from Gucci and dogs. Gucci and dogs. We've got dogs and Gucci.

But we're talking about superstorms here. I've got this book. It's... Storms! Is that an eye patch? The deadliest storm in history. Galveston, Texas, 1900. Now this is, Marcus is bringing his power of storytelling.

Into last podcast. That's right. So envision the smell of the briny ocean. Imagine the winds blowing through your air. And enjoy the story of the superstorm. And Henry. Of Galveston. Because it is Galveston.

Put some fart noises in every now and again. There it is. So all of this is from a book called Isaac's Storm. It was written by Eric Larson, the same guy who wrote... It's not a Jew thing? Huh? It's not a Jew thing, Henry. Why with you and the Zionist agenda?

Leave him alone. Jesus. My girlfriends said the same thing. Because it's Isaac's Storm. It's like Isaac's Storm. Oh, ah. It is. Yeah.

It sounds like a Nordic and Jewish last name. Yeah, it does. Well, his last name is Klein. Oh, it is a Jewish thing. Yeah. How does that make you feel, Henry? Pretty satisfied. Good.

Good, good, good, good. This book was written by the same guy who wrote Devil in the White City, which fucking fantastic. It is, the reason why it's called Isaac's Storm, it's the central character as a man named Isaac Klein, who was the chief weather bureau officer in Galveston, Texas at the time. Was he Jewish?

I just have to know that. No, he wasn't Jewish. Okay, he wasn't Jewish, so we can just get off of it. Okay, good. Yeah, he wasn't Jewish. All right. So we're gonna start in January of 1900, in which this storm took place in September.

In January of 1900, a self-styled weather prophet, Professor Andrew Jackson DeVoe of Chattanooga, Tennessee, issued a long-range forecast. What happened, Marcus? You can go, keep going. You're pulling it through. Issued a long-range forecast. What happens?

He loves this story. I mean, you must. It's a long, he issued a long-winded forecast. Welcome to hard, bah-ha. I'm looking for Gucci's and dogs. You gotta get a Gucci and dogs and hope. You pushed my tickle button earlier. I can't turn it off.

Un-push it. He issued a long-winded message. Okay, we've got this one. Well, you're gonna be a great father. Your kid's not gonna fall asleep until four in the morning. He issued a long-range forecast for the year in his lady's birthday. Almanac, which is an amazing Almanac to have.

All right, and what did the forecast say, Marcus? He predicted that September would be hot and dry throughout the Northern states. On the 9th, he wrote, a great cyclone will form over the Gulf of Mexico and move up the Atlantic coast, causing very heavy rains from Florida to Maine from 10th to 12th. Now, this is about an hour and a half.

You're gonna have to wait. You're gonna have to wait. You're gonna have to wait. Yeah, and this is from Florida to Maine from 10th to 12th. No, this is about the same time. Happy birthday, Vivian. Now, this is also, this is around the time when they thought cigarettes were good for your teeth,

and that top hats would keep you from being picked up by hawks. Yeah, and tobacco was the cure after you got raped. Yes, yes, yes. And they were starting to figure out meteorology at the time. Specifically, hurricane science is the Cubans were at the forefront of it.

Yeah, because they had the sandwiches and the cigars. because they got hit with- We need more pickles, we need more Swiss cheese. What, why do they have New York accents? Oh no, that was a Texas accent. I don't know, I don't know. However, they were quite wrong and they said, the coast of Texas is according to the general laws

of the motion of the atmosphere exempt from West India Hurricanes and the two which have reached it followed an abnormal path which can only be attributed to causes known in meteorology as accidental. Goblins in balloons. Yes, two things I love the most. And so of course, the Cubans,

the storm was running through Cuba on its way to Galveston, Texas, which by the way, Galveston is an island that is 30 miles off the coast of Texas near Houston. Yeah, horrible place to play safe. You know a bunch of Cubans try to hang on to the trees that were flying through the air in order to get over to America.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how they did it. That's how they did it. A little E-line Gonzalez. Yeah, good. I'm happy that's our go-to Cuban. And at the time, Galveston, Texas was known as the New York of Texas. Wow, which made it the Minnesota of Texas.

Because it was very much a metropolitan area that were brothels everywhere. They're lively shoes. There were restaurants with French chefs everywhere. That's where Gucci and dogs started. But then it was just a horse named Gucci and a couple of dogs. Well, it was a very rich area.

It was a very cosmopolitan. However, I mean, it wasn't, we just told them that it wasn't. However, did you read the book? They had one show. Did you read the book? No, no, no, no. So the Cubans, this storm is coming through. It was a cyclone when it was on its way to Cuba.

And at the time, Cuba and the United States were in a bit of a tiff over telegraph wires. The United States sounds like a great meat shop. Yeah, it does. Yeah, I want to go there. I'm hungry. What do you get? And steaks.

And so when the Cubans wired us and said, hey, there's a big fucking storm coming, America went. They farted all over the idea. Fuck you. However. Stick to your sandwiches and you cigars that Cuba. And by the way, send some of those sandwiches and cigars over. So the storm starts to hit Galveston slowly but surely.

Children found the storm nothing but delightful. Oh, that's interesting. Because sometimes when I imagine a big storm, I imagine a big woman's butt slowly rolling over onto the city. Is that weird? Oh, that's totally normal. You would be a great weatherman. I think so.

Yeah, that's kind of true. Yeah, I always just imagine two big butt cheeks just coming on down. And just slowly laying on down. You're just sticking your tongue out. You want to catch a snowflake. Catch a snowflake out of one of them butts. Would you just a little bit of poop? Well, they have been Hurricane Irene and now Hurricane Sandy.

So they are feminine. That's what they are. Interesting. So the day goes on. The storm grows stronger. Winds are up to 50 miles an hour. Flooding is coming from the seas. It is said a man told a tale in which he came home.

And when he arrived at home, he was surprised there wasn't any dinner. I think that's just a wonderful story. That's a great Texas story. Marcus, are you Texas tired right now? Which I was talking to Marcus yesterday. He was very drunk the other day. And I said, you weren't drunk. You were just Texas tired.

Texas tired. That's my new thing. Texas tired. I'm not Texas tired. No. And now the storm gets serious. This is at a time, remember, in the 1900s, early 1900s, early 1900s, when man was at its most arrogant.

Oh, dear lord, nothing can take us down. We are in a building made of wood. Well, I have constructed a house told to me by God. And here's no way a wind will come. Winds are for birds. Only a cat would be afraid of a wind. Wow, we're not cats. Hey, Spencer.

Mr. Lord shouted from across the room. I've just counted. Mr. Lord. I've just counted in there 13 men in this room. Spencer laughed. Other diners joined in, glad for the relief the laughter provided. You can't frighten me, Spencer shouted. I'm not superstitious.

Spencer and Lord died instantly. Yeah. When a powerful gust of wind tore off the building's roof and heavy printing press material from upstairs smashed them all. Three others died with them. Five other men were badly hurt. One man dispatched a waiter to find a doctor. The waiter drowned.

I love the idea of a waiter drowning. That's why big thing is that in terms of social hierarchy, waiters first to go. You think so? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Waiters got to go and then homeless people. So waiters homeless? Where does a bartender fall into that?

I would do waiters homeless, the mayor. OK, sure. Then doctors, police officers, bodega men. Oh, come on. That's seventh of the list. Oh, but I love them. That's seventh of the list. Dogs, then comedians.

Well, that's about right. All right, all right. I would just completely flip that on set. And now it gets creepy. The comedians did you die first. Nothing's funnier than a comedian dying. Someone's got to tell the story. Terribly, and as if they were important in it.

By the time Isaac got home, the water in his yard was waist deep, and wherever an object protruded from the water, there were toads, tiny ones, dozens, every little board, every little splinter, had about 20 or 50 toad frogs on it. Excuse me, I have to start that over. Every little board, every little splinter, had about 20 or 50 toad frogs on it.

One witness remembered. I never seen so many toad frogs in all days my life. What a day. What an exciting day for you. Oh my god, that's a 20 toad frog day. I counted up to a number I don't even know how to count to. So I just started over again. It was amazing.

It's got to be something better than 20, which means, well, be a goddamn million. God, I know I did 23 times. I counted it. And this is when things start to get serious. I thought things just got serious. I thought when the person died with the printing press and the waiter drove.

No, no, no, this one things get really serious, because those are all assholes. OK. I'll bring you to your desserts. Oh no, here comes the flood waters. The only gay in Galveston. I love this job. He was a goddamn good waiter, but I swear,

are there something queer about that waiter? There he is, very smart young boy. Now, this story is a house with 17 people in it, but families and whatnot. The water rose high onto the second floor. Guss of wind moving at speeds possibly as great as 150 miles an hour penetrated deep into the house. Palmer held tight to his son and braced his back

against the bathroom door. And then he was buried deep inside his son. Interesting, nothing to do with the story. His wife, May, hugged his neck with all her strength, beams fractured, glass broke, lumber ricocheted among the walls of the hallway outside the bath, the front half of the house tore loose, the boker stood in a bedroom holding each other close,

as the wind peeled the house away, the bedroom disintegrated. The water rose, the Palmer's clomped onto the lip of the bathtub. Judson clapped his left hand to the shower rod and held Lee circled in his right arm. Is this penthouse four in stuff? Yeah, yeah, I'm getting hard.

I'm getting hard. Yeah, if the house is replaced with a woman's clothes, I'm like, this is gonna be hot. Yeah, every time you peel off a layer of the house to reveal its bolsterous hot nipples. The house. It's surprisingly sensitive in the storm season. The house trembled.

Ah, God. This guy is obviously masturbating while writing this. And eased off its elevated foundation. It settled in deeper water. The water was up to Palmer's neck. The roof stood up and fell upon the family. They went under the water together. Palmer came up alone.

Dripping with cum. Dripping with cum. And now, a story from the show. I make all my six toes in there. I'm sorry, what's that? I just make all my six toes out of old pumpkins. So this is my favorite time of year, yeah. So I'm gonna go ahead and AdamNeve.com

and use that coupon and I'm gonna get a CCR at checkout. What's your favorite sex toy to make out of a pumpkin? God fucking fake pussy. You just carve a hole in a pumpkin. Easy, yeah. Yeah, nothing was created. Very, very easy one. And the best, yeah, the best use of a pumpkin,

I suppose if you want to fuck it. I'm like good at arts and crafts. Sure, sure. Anyway. So this is. So children are involved here. And as the night goes on, we check in with the orphanage. The 10 sisters who ran the place heard it all.

93 children into the chapel. Sister M. Camillus Tracy, 31 years old. The mother's superior ordered the other children to tie links of clothesline to the youngest children, then tie one in around their waist. They formed chains of six to eight children each, rope together like miniature climbing parties. A few older children, among them, Will Mirney, Albert Campbell,

and Francis Bolnovik, remain free. Sister Camillus led the children in hymns. Because they were fat and pimply, everyone hated them. Sister Camillus wanted to be tied to them. Well, the storm won't take those ones, though, chubbiest fuck. She led the children in hymns, including the children's favorite, Queen of the Waves.

How does that go? Queen of the Waves, all waves, all the queen. That's nice. I like that song. I seem to know that theme. I didn't know that was the original theme of that. Yeah, that's where the jingle comes from. Interesting.

So these kids are all tied up like their piggies getting led through a farm. The water rose. The children felt the concussion of each breaker as it struck the front of the building. The sisters drew the children to the girl's dormitory at the back of the building, away from the beach. They heard the crash of wood and brick behind them

as the boy's dormitory fell into the gulf. The storm advanced through the building quickly and systematically as if hunting the children. The chapel disappeared. Windows shattered. Hallways rose and fell like drawbridges. The children sang. The sea and wind burst into the dormitory.

In seconds, the building failed. 90 children and all 10 sisters died. Only Will, Albert, and Francis survived all by catching hold of the same floating tree. Later, a rescuer found. They've been healing. And that tree was the giving tree. Interesting, yes.

Later. I think it's alive. Oh no, I think this genre of tree we've been using as a boat is fucking alive. Just use it until we kill it. Later, a rescuer found one toddler's corpse on the beach. He tried lifting the child. A length of clothesline leaped from the sand, then tightened.

He pulled the line. Another child emerged. The line continued into the sand. He uncovered eight children and a nun. Sister Camillus. That's called the devil's anal beads. I know, I was just going to say, you can also get a very similar butt plug at adamandave.com.

The devil's anal beads. Just eight kids tied to a fucking sheath. The very inherent in the sand, but not at the end. We don't want it to go too deep into the devil's asshole because of real rupture in the old body there. Oh, good for him. What a find, what a find. And so, the storm over with, the first telegram comes.

Tee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee. Very accurate. First news from Galveston just received by train which could get no closer to the Bayshore than six miles, where prairie was strewn with debris and dead bodies. About 200 corpses counted from train. Large steam ship stranded two miles inland.

Nothing could be seen of Galveston. Loss of life and property, undoubtedly most appalling. Weather clear and bright here with gentle southeast wind. And on the roadside, we're getting a Gucci and dogs. So that's exciting. Wow, that's very nice. And here's what an old soldier, General McKibben said. I'm still afraid of clouds.

Good. Ever since I see a cloud of through my glove at it, I'm like, damn you, Cloud, you ain't taking me on the last man from Galveston. Cloud just wanted to make him happy. Very sad. What are his real last words? I'm an old soldier, General McKibben said later.

I have seen many battlefields. But let me tell you, since I rode across the bay the other night and helped the man with the boat to steer to keep clear of the floating bodies of dead women and little children, I have not slept one single moment. Son, General McKibben, 17 years old. I've been watching a lot of Kim Burns lately.

They stopped a man hurrying by who told them thousands of people have been killed. Thousands of people have been killed. So I've got to go. I have an audition for a Broadway show. Is that the gay waiter that we thought drowned? I never die. I wonder what ever happened to that guy.

He went on to be the biggest Broadway star in the world. The real Dame Judy Dench. So many dead bodies were around. The disposal crews known as dead gangs have begun burning bodies where they found them. Cool. I want to be a dead gang. Yeah.

Throughout Saturday night, survivors turned gratefully toward a particularly solicitous and tall nun, only to find themselves staring into the stubbled face of a man in a nun's habit. This is amazing. Men dressing like nuns now, this storm really fucks them shit up you in Texas. Well, again, it's just the waiter.

Finally. Our entire beautiful Earl? Is that you gay waiter Earl? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but you know, I had a dream. The dead gangs worked 30 minute shifts, and in between were allowed all the whiskey they needed to keep going.

Not the longest shifts I've ever heard. Yeah, the 30 minute shifts. The stench from dead people. It took me an hour to walk here from Brooklyn. The stench from dead people and animals was so great that they couldn't work longer, one witness said. They worked in long sleeves and jackets and mohair pants. That's horrible.

But did not let their discomfort show. They left their noses exposed. Burning did not seem much of an improvement over the parade of corpse filled wagons. The idea of burning the bodies of men, women, and children. I love a parade. Especially children was jarring. It seemed like sacrilege.

How did they burn them? Cremation was a routine material service, was itself a brand new idea in America. In Galveston, the fires were everywhere. Immobile was 10 at the time of the storm, but watched a dead gang burn bodies at 37th and Avenue P right near her house. As one body entered the fire, an arm shut up

as it pointing into the sky. Emma screamed, but kept watching, and paid for it with nightmares that left her writhing in the dark. You see, what you've got to do with you have a lot of bodies. Put them in a big dumpster, and then you tie balloons to them. And then you hopefully you get a good Western wind, so that they land in Mexico.

Yeah, it's like that movie, It's very close to Mexico. Like the movie Up, yeah. But filled with dead bodies. Imagine that house was just chock full of dead women and children. The men seemed to be fine. A lot of alive men in that story. Oh, yeah.

It's like they climbed upon the bodies of the women and the children. I would love if they did a movie version of Up with HH Holmes's house. That would be remarkable. The floating crematorium in the sky. Every place it lands is like the world's most unlucky place. And that's where they all died.

Black men were said to have begun looting bodies. I think they're bringing racism into this. Well, just let me finish, god damn it. Chewing off fingers to gain access to diamond rings. Well, no, I know they are. Then stuffing the fingers in their pockets. The nation's press took these stories as truth, then pumped them full of even more lurid details.

On Thursday, September 13th, the Mobile Alabama Daily Register, naturally, told its readers that 50 Negroes had been shot to death in Galveston. The ghouls, the newspaper reported, were holding an orgy over the dead. I think they were burning the dead, right? Yeah, I just think under that was happening, yeah. That's very, very fun, but we did the Miami zombies.

I just know that so many people used it. It would take a lot to chew the finger off of a hand. And it didn't seem like they kept the finger and not like the ring. Yeah, it's kind of a star. But interesting, I mean, any excuse. And in this storm, 8,000 souls perished, and half of the city of Galveston was destroyed.

When I go, and it was safe until the 1990s when another one came and destroyed it again. Yeah, when Harp killed it for the second time. Galveston keeps on coming back. I know when I write the story of this hurricane. Remember all the faces that I saw and lost. I knew that we stood strong and proud. Waves came and the winds came.

I sat in the dark and I played Bioshock, watching the rain, pitta-pitta, pitta-pitta, pitta-pitta. I'm a windowsill. I'll never forget that night. I ate two legs of chicken, a chicken I made. I drank a couple of bottles of whiskey. Ha, it was hard. Hurricane Sandy will always lie on our memories.

As a sort of mediocre set of days, we all got pretty drunk. Oh, God, it is good to live in the future. Thank God we don't live back then anymore. Jesus Christ. You should read the rest of the, I mean, that was, so that's Isaac Storm. Zion Storm, just pick it up at that.

It's a really, it's a great book. It's about Isaac Klein and his brother, Joseph, who were competing meteorologists in the same town, and how their fuckups tended to kill a lot of people. I threw my shit up in the air the other day. It went straight up down. That means we got a storm coming, which you do. Also, just be careful.

I think this is important. If you live in a coastline, move away from there. You're going to die there. That is true. I don't know why so many people chose to stay in their homes. There's some people in the Jersey Shore that did get the fuck out of there when the government is making a storm. Because they don't want you to move.

No one wants you to evacuate because all you do is inconvenience the rest of the city. If they tell you that you have to evacuate, it means you will probably die if you don't. The government made the storm. The government's telling you to get out of there. Get out of there. Because Rockaway now, that's one of the coolest stories

that came out of it. Now, one of these places, it was devastated. I remember growing up on Rockaway Beach. That was our beach we used to go to. The whole boardwalk is gone. That must have been a real sweet site when your family went swimming in the ocean. Should have seen me at a time that I did not put sunscreen on.

It got second and third degree burns all over my back. Like John Candy in summer rental. Yes, it was pretty horrible. But that whole area is gone. And now it's being protected by roving teams of vigilantes. That like, do you see that picture on the post of the guy with the bow and arrow? Like these people are protecting themselves

from looting with guns and knives and bows and arrows. This guy is perched up on a power tower, like a power tower, like trying to fend off people using a bow and arrow. It is happening. It is getting real out there. Nice. The apocalypse is coming. It's being done by our government.

It's done by the reptile Barack Obama. And everyone just needs to get a helmet, buy a helmet. I disagree. I think he's just a reptilian puppet. But that's fine. We don't agree on everything. I know this is a much bigger can of worms. But the world is ending in like a month and two weeks.

I'm going to try ecstasy, I think. Well, your world will end anyway. All right, well, this has been great. Thanks, Marcus. Thank you. You're a great story. Thank you. You're a really good storytelling.

Thank you. You have a sexy, sultry voice. Thank you. I've been told that my voice sounds educated, but annoying. Speaking of sexy sultry. I won scholarships for it in high school. I was an actor. Yeah.

And a waiter. It was not acting. It was called oral interpretation. Yeah, I bet you're good at that. Oh my god, how many dicks did you suck with that? None. None, but I did get $6,000. Not bad.

What? Yeah. Not bad. $6,000? Yeah. That's a hell of a lot of Twinkies. That's coming from this guy. That's how I judge my money.

It's a hell of a lot of Twinkies or butt plugs from adamandeeve.com. Adamandeeve.com. It's code CCR. CCR, code CCR. That's great. Lube, lube, lube. Everyone needs lube. Yeah, get lube, get some braw things.

I don't know what you want. I don't know what girls want. I'm not an erotic person. Get some teeth. Get some teeth. Get some sex teeth. Yeah. Ooh, yeah, that sounds awesome.

Get one of those zip-up leather masks and a weird, like, fucking horse costume you could put all of your balls. All right, well, we know what Henry's getting. So that's enough. All right, we're ending this up. Marcus Parks, Ben Kissel, thank you, Henry. Henry, put on a tinfoil hat and be careful of low-emission energy waves because they're trying to depress you.

And if you're feeling sad, it's not because your fucking girlfriend or boyfriend left you. The government is fucking with you. The government is fucking with you. Remember that. Hyleme! Hylgeen! I'm a ghost of Lations.