Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 522: David Miscavige Part I - Scientology Reborn

Episode Date: February 18, 2023

It's finally time for the boys to return to the topic of Scientology, this time looking at the subject through the lens of L. Ron Hubbard's elusive successor, the"Captain of the Sea Org", David Miscavige. In this first episode we take a look at the early life of Miscavige and learn how his "military style" upbringing and egotistical wit helped him climb to the top of the organization and become the new leader of Scientology. 

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started All right, here we go so right now you may be stranded on the side of the road because Let's face it. You're a bad driver. Whoa. Oh, you may be looking at your home your village your town burnt to the ground by vile Protesters. Oh my goodness, but don't you wish that you could do something about it? Don't you wish that there was someone there to handle it? Yeah, take care of it I do wish there was someone to handle it and take care of it. I'm feeling really down

Curious I see you are I'm pretty curious. I'm feeling pretty sad Yeah, that's very good. I have nowhere to go nowhere to go. Perfect, and we have just the six foot seven 330 pound empty space Perfect, that's my size. Yeah Welcome aboard clam He was the right amount of curious Yeah Curious, welcome to the last podcast of the left everyone curious Ben here with Marcus and Henry

Oh, we're oh you're curious Ben. Yeah, you're settling in with curious Ben I like curious Ben if I see a tree I shake it and try to figure out what's gonna fall out. Sometimes it's a cat Sometimes it's a squirrel. Sometimes it's a lemon. Sometimes. I just want to see what she looks like with no clothes Curious Ben. I'm a bit curious It seems the area between my pockets is the most curious part of Ben Well, that's a little offensive. All right, everyone today's episode and a series of episodes to follow We're covering David Miss Kavage. Of course of Scientology fame. Yeah coming for you you tiny bitch Measured the exact same height. No, I tower over this dude. Do you have David Miss Kavage is so short

Towers very David Miss Kavage is so short. How short is he? He has to go up on his wife Who's dead? He's dead in Big Bear. I Accepted I love it and I'm in now when we did our series on Scientology founder Al Ron Hubbard six or so years ago We ended it somewhat abruptly with his death in 1986 mostly because what came next in the story of Scientology was far too large to broach Yeah, apparently it's another three-episode series worth of information. Yes

See after Al Ron Hubbard died, he was succeeded by a 25-year-old goblin with an incredible amount of energy who through a brilliant series of highly calculated corporate moves Have positioned himself to weasel his way into the top spot Despite the fact that he was a relative unknown amongst the rank and file at the time. Okay, sometimes it's about heat It's what takes you to the top look at the Spotify ranks comes down to sure Yeah, Dr. Greg Oldman. He's the number two podcast on in the world I'm doing a lot of great anal research right now anal play. Oh This goblin's name is David Miss Kavage. Oh shit. And don't you fucking forget it?

Yeah, and he's now actually been the top man at Scientology for far longer than L Ron Hubbard was ever in charge We realized that we did the math as we were doing the production call and you know because it's all LRH LRH because again He's the heart and soul. He's the adventure and romance. He's the creator of it all. He's the body David Miss Kavage he gets in there and he really just cares it the fuck up Yeah, yes He is the human equivalent of a mouse in a serial around a series of elephants and it makes the elephants go all crazy But it shows he's the one extended. He's the way I could think we calculated It was like 31 years that LRH was in charge and now he's at close to 35 Wow

Well, Miss Kavage is the man who made his religion a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood The man who took a cue from Catholicism and turned Scientology into a real estate empire But most importantly he was the man who secured tax exempt status Yeah, but when do we get it you have to start your church already. Yeah, I thought Academy It has to be called a church or you don't get tax exemption. Yeah, church of thought I'm a deacon But David Miss Kavage is also the man who let this incredibly powerful organization Get to the point where they could be chipped away at and taken down by South Park

Stacey from say by the bell fucking 4chan because if you'll all remember the first real target of the so-called Hacker collective anonymous it was Scientology Yep, and that was the first really the first time that Scientology really wobbled was when 4chan went after him hard But to be fair when it comes to the Scientology episode of South Park South Park did have some ramifications Yeah, chef left yeah Isaac Hayes It was like the only time other than Muhammad episode which is a little controversial as well It was the only time where the guys actually had some blowback from within and then Nancy Cartwright also was a who's a voice for the Simpsons She's Bart Simpson. She's like she's a famous Scientologist

And as famously it's made several episodes of the Simpsons that had some form of Scientology joke within that she would not participate in because she knew she'd have to go through a hell of a rundown Yeah, she actually came and spoke at Texas Tech when I was in college in the early 2000s and afterwards she came down to speak to everyone was very nice, but she had a big fat stack of Scientology pamphlets with her. What do you mean something like this? No, I have that's a huge book feel how heavy this book is Seriously feel heavy this fucking book is this is the entire class five Scientology handbook I have and guess what I'm doing today

I don't know you gotta read it our precious audience is gonna learn a lot about David and miscavige But I'm gonna heal Marcus with Scientological Give me this give me this for one second before we get into this touch. It's this look how big this thing is It is a it is a collection of every single piece of tech that you can get from a class five Like kind of tea. It's for volunteer ministers. No volunteer ministers, which means guess what not getting paid. Oh great Volunteer congrats. Yeah, you're a volunteer who has to pay for the materials that you use to volunteer I have the privilege to paying for the material because then I have the privilege to go teach it for free

This is the most asinine view of drug use There's a section where it shows a guy doing cocaine with a full fountain drink straw Which I guess is very hygienic Yeah, you don't want to get too close to the table. All right Well today David miscavige is a man with enemies on all sides Desperately trying to deflect questions about the decades-long disappearance of his wife While coming out of hiding only to film commercials showing off his admittedly fantastic new hair plugs Yeah, he looks like a cut like, you know those old commercials for batteries that have the plastic people. Yeah

Yeah, the energizer people. Yeah, he looks like that. It's very nice Yeah, they looked like that Primus video for somebody's beaver known as big brown beaver Now despite their shrinking influence Scientology is still a well-funded organization as is evidenced by the two Superbowl ads they aired just this previous Sunday curious that by the way was the 11th consecutive Superbowl that the church has had enough money to purchase at least one spot now I am gonna just do is just do a little bit of pushback gut-filled also had to Okay, cat temp good good on you cat, but gut-filled at two commercials also. They might not be as expensive as they were I there's no way

7 million for those Dude what the fuck you talking about gut-filled is on fucking Fox News the Superbowl is on Fox gut fell Yeah, he probably cut him a break and also I believe most spots are between they are between two and seven It depends on where in the game. They owe the air. It wasn't interesting smattering of Jesus Scientology and God But the M&M's are back I want to fuck each one of them their little mouths That's the only place to do it No, it looks you crack open the shell. No, that's where their pussies and their dicks are

That's true. I mean, I did show you guys that picture that naked in an M&M last week and it did have breasts and a vagina No, I don't care though not a single bit of pubic hair on that M&M and I thought that was brave And but I will say that the M&M did have boobies that we all recognize. Do you know me? Yes, of course div and miscavige Here we go Well from what we know the longer miscavige is in charge the more membership numbers crater He is put simply a weirdo a Manic frat boy bully a sharp toothed little boy with ADHD who was both confusing and cruel with his insults and punishments He's like that kid from that episode of king of the hill the dusty old bones full of green dust

Bullying Hank and riding around on his fucking lawn over and over dusty old bones full of green dust That's David miscavige, but the thing is it's a really effective way to just devastate the human mind Of course, if you it's a it truly is a Scientological trick like the idea of saying to you a nonsense calling you a clam and then everyone laughs and right They're like, yeah sure for a clam and they're like me. What do you mean? Yeah? It's it's weird They say a thing to you that makes no sense to you, but they're all laughing like you just got burned out of your fucking shoes Well, the follow-up is why am I a clam? I don't want to be a clam. Yeah, and then you have to move on to Unclamming yourself

Shocking Well miscavige is the man who introduced physical pain and torture to the world of Scientology Where he's in the days of Elron Hubbard. It was more about control and money. Yes, it was predatory Of course, it was but it wasn't that physical LRH. I mean again truly like Strip away some of my ironic love of LRH. I do understand he was a difficult man bad person bad person bad guy con man Thief and all the shit, but within him creator of a religion But there's a part of me that like like I know for a fact that yes LRH like control But really what LRH really liked was his uniform and he liked his hat and his corgis

He loved his corgis. He loved being on his boat. He loved every calling him sir Even though he he was bad at everything He looked all the trappings of being the leader where and then he kind of was like truly very kind of Introspective and thought that like oh maybe in some way I believe in all of this that I'm talking about and I can kind of tech my own way out of this I can figure out how to do this, but David Miscavige was his violent hand like a dying LRH had violence in his heart and it reached out and it chose David Miscavige and then David Miscavige became the fucking slapping hand of Scientology

So Elron Hubbard is still responsible for his own creation of Scientology and Miscavige Absolutely and say what you will about Elron Hubbard, but the man certainly had what you'd call an adventurous spirit Yeah, I think that that's safe to say and an eater's mouth and body But the difference between Hubbard and Miscavige is that Hubbard is at his core He's a romantic as Henry was saying he loves his little boats. He loves the adventure of everything Miscavige He doesn't have a fucking ounce of poetry in his soul No, David Miscavige came into Scientology playing an entirely different game than everyone else. Miscavige was playing the corporate game And he turned Scientology into a reflection of his own character

But really the main question that we're wanting to answer with this series is how does a cult survive the death of its founder? Put another way It's sort of like a band losing its lead singers like how Joy Division became new order after Ian Curtis died But would you not say that some people like new order more than Joy Division? Yeah, and some people like David Miscavige more than they liked Elron Hubbard. Some people like Foo Fighters more than Nirvana Who are those people? A lot of people. I mean, I like them both, but David Letterman's favorite musician is Warren Zevon followed by Foo Fighters And he's got his finger on the pulse of everything that's in the now right now. The kids love David Letterman. They can't get enough But just as the tensions that existed in Joy Division became magnified after the death of Ian Curtis until Peter Hook was eventually and wrongfully forced out of new order

Does anyone know what he's talking about? Does anyone know? I know because I listen to this series, but yes, this is Marcus's agenda So too did Scientology take on a different tone after Elron was dead? Speaking of a change in tone, when it comes to Scientology defectors, there are basically two camps There are those who say that Scientology always has been and always will be a scam That's one camp But a scam that you like, that's just the game Or if it's your lifestyle and that's even you like it, but it's still a scam Yeah, it's still a scam. You're still paying through the nose to play this game

Sure But then there are those who still believe even after they've left the church that Scientology is real They just believe that Miss Kavage came in and perverted Elron Hubbard's vision Well, it's because they didn't go through the goddamn handbook and don't understand that it's about touching knees And then if you I did a read a whole thing and I'm gonna work do this with you You want to try this? How you can make somebody sober using Scientological tactics Let's do it Cause you showed up, you showed up hammered, I saw you drove

Oh yeah, I'm absolutely hammered, absolutely Look at the liquid death Uh-huh Look at the liquid death Yes Look at the liquid death Look at the liquid death Yes

Look at the waterloo Look at the waterloo Okay No, you haven't moved Look at the fucking waterloo I'm looking at it Say yes Look at the liquid death

Yeah Are you sober? No I'm sober It is literally what you're supposed to do Yeah Well, it definitely could put you in a different kind of mind funk Sort of focus perhaps

Yeah You could also just lie and say yes, I'm now sober Yep, I mean, that's kind of the game And then you find out whether or not you believe the lie And guess what? You just got Scientology All right But no matter their philosophy

The people who have left Scientology over the last few decades Have been incredibly vocal And we therefore have an abundance of sources When it comes to figuring out Just who David Miss Kavage is And how Scientology has gotten to the point That it now finds itself in 2023 Most helpful in this have been the books

Going Clear by Lawrence Wright A Classic in the Cult Genre And A Billion Years by Mike Reinder The latter of which being the most harrowing Because it was written by a former member Of Scientology's Inner Circle And there's also really got some good information From Beyond Belief by Jenna Miss Kavage

Who is David Miss Kavage's niece And there's a little bit of kind of understanding A little more context in the two There's a lot of fucking sources Yeah It's just interesting to remind ourselves They all have families Oh yeah

You know, he's just somebody's uncle Somebody's kid She just calls him Uncle Dave The whole thing I can't believe that Uncle Dave Would allow me to be doing manual labor In a desert in California And it's just like

I don't think he's Uncle Dave anymore No, he's a screaming psychopath But for the early years Of David Miss Kavage's life We have no choice but to mostly rely On the words of his father Ron Miss Kavage Who co-wrote a wobbly takedown

Of his own son called Ruthless And that's where we'll begin our journey today Yeah I still don't like any father who writes a A disbook about their children I just don't like it When parents take down their kids Even if their kids are horrible

You created the motherfucker He's such a absolute I'm just gonna go and just I mean, whatever We do believe here In the concept of rehabilitation Yes, we do We do believe at some point

You should be able to Work yourself out of the sins That you've done in this life So that you could move on And change and grow Otherwise, why would anyone change and grow If there's no forgiveness If there's no forgiveness

But Ron Miss Kavage is a dumb piece of shit And if you read this book Like a Ruthless just sounds like A cut from Grover's Corner I'm just a smoldown Scientologist The way he covers his own son Is interesting because he doesn't go Whole hog into ripping him to pieces

So Ron is a Scientologist Yes, Ron is what started the whole thing Because Ron, all he wanted to do Was play the fucking trumpet And there was from I'm from Mount Carmel And it's called Mount Carmel And the pronunciations with the car up front

It's not Mark Carmel This isn't a town made out of candy Okay It's called Mount Carmel And it was a mining town People were hard workers The most worked in coal mines The town was like a little Europe

My family was Polish But there was also Slovaks Italians, Irish, Germans Truly a potpourri of humanity I'm sure it smelled just like potpourri Football was king People lived and died by the fortunes Of the high school team

That's healthy If you were on the Mount Carmel football team You could do no wrong You could be caught robbing a store What is the point of all this? And the cop would scold the store They were reporting you now On Friday nights of the fall

What is the point of this? The band and the cheerleaders They marked down 3rd Street From the high school to the stadium And the town turned out to cheer them on And follow and buy Sure, yeah Nothing else to do

And after the game People would head down to Matucci's Matucci's And it's a bar and restaurant Matucci's, was that some sort of Scientology stronghold? Is that why you're reading all this? Is that why we're going through all this?

That's where we got our pretzels But the thing is you remember When you're in this town Now next to football The only other thing that people expected was Scientology No, music Music

See, if a minor saw a kid Who played an instrument Being picked on He'd say, hey, lay off that kid He's a musician I think that's a lie By Ron Mescavige Because he played music

And was picked on And wished that someone would defend him And what none of you understand Is that was life in the cold region The values I grew up with And what I wanted to instill In my own children And for three of the four

I think it worked out pretty well So the values were Three out of the four Yes, number four Was one of the most dangerous cult leaders To all time To ever exist But three out of the four

They turned out pretty well 75% of my kids Are not hyper-dangerous International felons What do you want me to do To be father of the year? Me? Also, I don't know what morality

Tail he was trying to spin Because it sounds like They're praying on teenagers Trying to live their lives Through their eyes once again And then inevitably The teenagers become the coal miners And then they watch all the other kids

Play football And then it's a vicious cycle Of alcoholism and sadness No, you mean the American dream Oh, God David Miscavige was a twin Born April 30th, 1960 Whoa

Yeah We're both tourists Wow Good job Moving on He was born to Loretta and Ron Miscavige In the suburbs of New Jersey Loretta was a recent nursing school graduate

And Ron was a marine vet Turned cookware salesman Regular middle-class family Sure But while most people handled The middle-class struggle with aplomb Ron was physically abusive Towards his wife on a regular basis

And that comes from Ron How dare you say that That is called aggressive learning That I was taught in the Marines That's what he said He said he ran his family Like it was in the Marines And yes, it might have been harsh at times

But once you're a Marine You're always Marine Especially when you're having sex With your wife Well, number one, you were in the Navy So we can kind of make fun of you for that And second of all, your wife is a nurse And you sell cookware

So maybe you're not the brains of the operation I'll kill anybody within five feet Oh, you are more violent though, I see Well, Ron only partly takes responsibility For his abusive nature As an influence on his son's violent personality Instead, Ron said There must be something in David's DNA

That makes him a dominating Vendictive psychopath Does he not take any responsibility for that? No, absolutely not Because he probably should He's only half of it Yeah, come on, man Three out of the four

Totally fine Nailed it It's not baseball He's batten 0.75, man I mean, that's phenomenal It is But when David Miskovich was a boy He was mostly defined by his extreme asthma

Which is what brought the Miskovich family To Scientology See, Ron Miskovich was what you'd call A born sucker Me? No I was a Marine until I was I literally was born a Marine

Mm-hmm, yep He'd gotten pulled into a pyramid scheme Called Holiday Magic That sold fruit-scented cosmetics And distributed leaflets That said that Avon salespeople They're not more in goon squads Yeah, man, you know how those

Avon salespeople are They need to be rounded up And put into camps So he was even dumber than the Avon people Yes Well, he said that like It seemed like a no-brainer Some people said it was a pyramid scheme

But I just said it was an idea That didn't properly take off Holiday Magic It is now taught in criminal justice courses As the most obvious pyramid scheme In modern history There's a lot of people saying I say it's more of a square business

Yeah Wow Holiday Magic Holiday Magic Yeah And they sell scented makeup Fruit-scented makeup Cosmetics

Ugh This one makes you smell like a cucumber, Barbara This is really not, oh yeah Oh, you're really on that time of the month You're gonna wanna smell like a pineapple Barbara, I guess you must have used All that makeup That makes you smell like another man's cum

Oh, this is amazing Wow, this is It's almost like it is cum That's just the mango Well, what's interesting about Holiday Magic Is that it was founded by the co-owner Of a company called Mind Dynamics

Oh Mind Dynamics was an encounter group That was a part of the so-called Consciousness Transformation Movement And their techniques of visualization And meditation have been closely compared To amway, est, and of course Scientology

Oh, yeah Sweet, my parents did a thing called KM Which was a very bad pyramid scheme That they were selling a nutritious liquid And it tasted very, very bad And we just had boxes and boxes and boxes And boxes with that at our house My parents even got a license plate

That said KM's great Oh, God, nutritious liquid It was really bad It was so If anyone knows about KM, reach out Because it was isolated Right in the Midwest I don't know what the hell it was

Now Ron Miscavige got immediately taken in By Holiday Magic's promise Of an annual $100,000 return On fruits and cosmetics Oh, yeah You get $100,000 the annual He got a straight He got that straight pitch

And he's just like There was like a woman He met at a gas station Said straight up How would you like to make another $100,000 A year And he's like They have to sign me up

I'm just a medium Oh, my God, what a goober Well, him and three other Distributors formed a Corporate team That regularly hosted Opportunity meetings It's not a triangle shaped circumstance

See, this is like We live in the era of influencers And yeah, that can be annoying But this is the OG influencer This is worse You actually had to go to their house Eat out of their shitty tupperware Oh, yeah

Before you realized That you were just in way over You're heading about to get scanned And the only way to get out Is to mark a little box on a magazine And say, okay, I'll buy it My mom was an Avon Goon Squad member And I remember the piles of Avon

Sitting at the house And I remember my mom being like These bitches don't know what looked good Like, she's so immediate Like, she's got all this shit She's got to move And so much stress They put on their personnel

Yeah, I mean, Holiday Magic Was one of those pyramid schemes That truly was based completely On getting other people To buy into your network A no-brainer Yeah A no-brainer

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Buyraycon.com Slash last Well at one of these opportunity Meetings in the year of 1969 Ron overheard a conversation Being had by a fellow distributor Named Mike Hess Hess said that he got involved

In holiday magic because As a Scientologist He believed in experiencing everything As all Scientologists believe And by everything he means everything Including getting scammed in a pyramid scheme? Yes, yes You don't need to experience that

But you need to If you want to be a Scientologist Okay Well after overhearing this statement Ron was in a word Curious Curious Using classic vague cultspeak

Mike Hess told Ron That Scientology was about Helping people become more Able in life Don't you want to be Morrible? Morrible Yes, I do want to be

Morrible Taking it a step further Mike said that Scientology Was more than just a philosophy More than just a philosophy What is it? It offers practical solutions To real world problems

It's that easy All you have to do is Spend $175 On this 1000 page Handbook This is a no Brainer Yeah, Hess claimed

That if Ron became a Scientologist Never gonna have to take another aspirin again Never gonna have to take an aspirin Never take an aspirin again Never do it Real world problems That is a no Brainer

And when Ron said Tell me more Mike said that the next time You get a headache Ron Here's what you're gonna do Okay You're gonna look in the mirror Yes

Give the guy in the mirror Your headache Give that guy your headache That's me No That's the guy in the mirror Because it's really about the fact that Your thoughts are

Okay, let's put it this way Let's say Give me your cups Let me give you your many liquids You got your water burger You got a water burger Give me your rockstar Give me your liquid death

And your water burger Your cup here That's all your liquids He just tricked you into giving him All of your liquid So welcome to Scientology All of your stuff is mine But now here we go

So your liquid death As always My little drink Your water And so your rockstar go down Your feelings about What are your feelings about The winners of the Super Bowl

Like what are your feelings about it I'm fine with it It doesn't matter what the content are And so yeah I ask you and I I fuck with you right But again It doesn't matter

Go to here Your thoughts are your rockstar drink Okay But guess what the real world is Hyper Guess what This is your thoughts You're separate from me

This is you and that's you Right This is you But your thoughts are over here That's over here That's rockstar Different liquid Yes

That's reality That's messed Right there We'll get in a mess later Okay well fantastic So he went to Separating Separate

Decompartmentalization Of your logic from your brain So you're looking in the mirror You give the headache to another person Okay If you get one of those great Jordan Peele mirrors Perhaps that'll work

Perhaps But Ron said Tried it a few days later And it worked It did not work It did not work That's a placebo No it worked

He gave his headache To the man in the mirror And then when he left the mirror The man in the mirror Disappeared And the headache disappeared with it I mean while that man's Is like

Why am I in here with Michael Jackson And that's all it took To sell Ron on Scientology That's it Done Well cause up to this point He was struggling with David Because the one thing he said

Is that when David was born He said that the toddler Was extremely aberrantly strong As a child He said that David as a toddler Was so physically strong He could lift them up To the top of a door frame

And then he'd let the toddler Grab onto the door frame And he'd let him go And that the toddler Could pull himself up Doing pull ups Okay With a door frame with his own hands

Like Hezbollah That's terrifying Hezbollah's an adult Same size Right They do this But then he'd get these asthma attacks And Ron didn't know

What to do with these asthma attacks Besides like Take him to a doctor And get him an inhaler Right he said This is true This is true He'd deal with it

So he would do stuff like He would spank him He'd spank David to try to get him To stop doing the asthma attacks And that didn't work And then he'd start doing this thing Where he'd bundle David up in his arms And take him into a cold shower

And do that To get rid of his asthma attacks Because he said He was in his mind Ron thought that the asthma attacks He thought that were in They were in David's head Really smart

Then he started a thing Where he said Well maybe in order to cure him Of his asthma attacks What I've discovered Is that every single time I tell him to go into the garage And lift weights

And this is completely real So that David McScavige would go out As a little boy Like between five and nine And just lift pump iron Every single time he felt like He was having an asthma attack He might get the blood flowing

A little bit But it's also probably why He's only five foot three Because he's been jacked Since he's five Yeah And again I don't think That normally beats asthma attacks

No I don't think so I'm not real sure I don't know I'm not a pulmonologist It might help the heart beat A little bit It might offset some of the I don't know

I feel like if I heard Someone else do that Technically you have to call Like the government Right Like if you heard someone doing That to their child You have to call CPS

We're not supposed to lift Heavy weights at that age You can't lift little weights A little bit Little play school weights You can lift little weights You're supposed to lift Heavy weights at that age

Now as I said Ron McScavige was a fucking rube But most people Especially when Scientology was new They needed a little more convincing Completely give themselves And their entire families Over to the philosophy

Of a ruddy science fiction Author of middling success Just the smallest amount Of more information My word count though He was the most successful Writer of all time My amount of words written

Yeah Well to get this done Scientologists followed what they called The four step dissemination drill First you gotta make contact Okay Then after you make contact Yes

In a very telling directive The Scientologist then had to Immediately disarm any antagonism The individual might display Towards Scientology Take it apart Okay You don't know anything

I didn't What am I Okay Well this concept is still In full usage today In a Scientology ad Released on November 25th Just a couple of months ago

David Misscavige himself Appears and says this Whatever you've heard If you haven't heard it from us We're not what you expect Whoa They're different than what I expected Yep

That's their entire thing Because they know that everybody knows That Scientology is a scam Everyone knows that But that's what they That now what they're doing Is they're trying to play these games These mind games on a massive scale

With we're not what you expect And curious Both playing at the same time And all religions need to be persecuted So they're in the phase Whatever of that as well And now you show up And you are

If you're already Speaking to a member of Scientology You're already probably a seeker You already are looking for information So it's easy to do the next part If you've stopped in your tracks And talked to them You're halfway there

Everyone has gone through a moment of low Sure And it can last a long time too Oh yeah man I mean I'll go into Scientology later on But I'm sticking for management I have to go straight to school I want to jump in like they do

With like military school And then you jump into the officer role They're just going to Immediately make you the full guy Yeah that's the problem But at least I'm not good enough With like quicken Or like kind of like financial records

Like I think they would even let me near that So hopefully Because that's where they really get you I mean I gotta admit man Like when doing research for this I was checking out the Scientology website And they make it look really nice Sure nice

I mean that's the thing is That's the word I would choose It's just nice They make it look nice If you're already a nerd It's like Jesus has Chris Pratt And Scientology has Tom Cruise Who do you want to be?

I mean I don't know I don't know I don't know Either of those people Are different types Well the third step In the dissemination drill Is to quote

Find the ruin Which is identifying the problem That's most on the mind Of the potential recruit In Ron Miscavige's case It was his son's asthma problem To that point the recruiter Then hooks the mark

By promising that Scientology Is the answer Now that answer is provided Or at the very least dangled By immersing the recruit In the writings of Elron Hubbard Whose life is presented As a grand adventure

Featuring tales of how he healed himself Using the techniques that became Scientology's foundational document Dianetics Bade yourself in the words Of Elron Hubbard But first wet yourself on the tongue Of Elron Hubbard

Wait no if you read it I guess that's what it is I have Shane Morton my mentor And the guy was a creative director For your pretty faces going to hell He always talks about You never want to get yourself into The rhythm of a cold leader

And that's what it is The more you read The first 50 pages Of the opening spiel Of the romance Of everyone's favorite turtle lord You do start to get into the cadence You get into a rhythm

And then you get glorious stuff on All the way to the hole That is a fantastic point though When you get in that rhythm And that becomes It was interesting I was listening to some of these I don't want to mention it

That Andrew Tate influencer right And a lot of his defenders Sound just like him Like they have the same cadence It was just very interesting To hear that kind of mimicking Of their super god or whatever It's like they say

That you're fluent in the language The first time that you dream In that language And it's the same way with the cult leader Once your thoughts start to mimic The way they speak Then you're fucking done Recruits are told that

Scientology will produce A civilization without insanity Without criminals And without war Where man can rise to greater heights Attain spiritual freedom And discover one's own immortality Don't you want to live forever?

Well, I mean kind of Additionally, recruits are told That Scientology works 100% of the time Well, that's great But only when it is properly applied By a person who sincerely desires To improve their life KSW

Keep Scientology working Think about it So if it fails, guess what? You failed It's also a lot If tech doesn't fail The tech's written down You see this failure?

No, this tech is right here It's right here and my god, there it is It can't fail It's just written right here I agree It's also the same base of Thought with Nutra system You're the failure

You're the failure You're failing Jenny Craig right now Well put another way Recruits are told that Scientology only works If you give yourself over completely And question nothing I mean, that's how we got half the employees here

I don't think that's true And so, Ron Miscavige Figured that if Scientology Could cure his piddling headache That one time Then maybe it could cure His son's extremely serious asthma Now supposedly, a Scientologist named Frank

Did cure a nine-year-old David Miscavige's asthma After a single 45-minute long session In Frank's back office They just met Frank, right? They just met Frank Frank was the local Scientologist His other buddy, I guess, at McCoochies Whatever the place was called

McCoochies McCoochies I'm going down McCoochies now But when they found him at McCoochies He was just like, all I do is fix kids And then he was like, boom He's like, Scientology, bib, zip, zip, zip We're going to do this

We're going to get it done And then he did probably a touch assist Which is legitimately a whole There's a whole diagram in here How to properly massage illness out of people And guess what? You do start And of course, you always lay a strange nine-year-old boy

Down on a cot in the back room of your office And you always want to needle him From the top of his butt to the top of his head And back and forth and back and forth and back and forth Until he doesn't have asthma anymore Or at least until he says, please, for the love of God You old man, please stop touching me I don't have asthma anymore

And I'll say whatever it takes to assist you And not touching me I think I may have met a Frank or two in my life Well, from what Ron Miscavige said His son never had a serious asthma attack ever again Now this is, of course, a lie Or it's at the very least a massaging of the truth Excellent

Because it's important to note that Ron Miscavige Remains an ardent believer in Hubbard's vision of Scientology He's loved Scientology But he still believes in Scientology He believes that his son ruined everything But he still thinks that the tech is 100% real To be fair, it's like when your kid takes over You're like, I know you

You know, so it would be very difficult To just follow your child as he's got Well, he just let it all go But yes, the book has a deeply hard time Letting go of our LRH at all But nevertheless, this supposed curing of his son's asthma Was enough to convince Ron and his wife To give their lives over completely to the church

Now at this point in Scientology's existence, 1972 One of the church's main strongholds Was St. Hill in England Which is still owned by Scientology And Scientology does still consider it a holy site It's actually one of the holiest sites in Scientology There's probably only two people working there But that's it, like a guy outside keeping people out

And then the fucking guy on the inside I guess sweeping for Ron Yeah, well supposedly, a chosen wing of St. Hill Was Tom Cruise's lockdown sanctuary During the height of coronavirus David Miscavige used to hang out there Measuring to see whose belt buckle was higher than the other Oh, isn't that nice

Tom Cruise is taller than David Miscavige We're saying that towers over a matter Not towers No, not towers, he's three inches Tom Cruise is five foot six, right? I would say five, five, five, four David Miscavige is five, three Between the heights of four foot five and five foot five

One inch is towering That's how it is, it just gets small people mad Okay This is also St. Hill This is also where Hubbard did his infamous tomato experiment Oh, I remember those In which he audited tomatoes and took readings of their well-being Using an e-meter

And I want you to keep that in mind here in a bit When we go through auditing But by 1972, Scientology and Scientologists Were banned in England So anyone traveling to St. Hill had to smuggle their e-meters And their L. Ron Hubbard novels Like they were trying to sneak drugs over the border This is why you really can't ban things

Because it makes it too cool Yeah, that's the idea If you got to go covert with it, it makes the religion stronger It's contraband now It is But despite England's hostility towards their beliefs Ron Miscavige looking to rapidly progress his family through the church He pulled his kids out of school

And moved the entire family across the ocean to St. Hill For 15 months Just think about that Think about the fact that he just met a man named Frank Who gave his headache to a man in the mirror And then massaged the butt of his son until he stopped fake sneezing anymore And now you're going to move the entire family to England From Mount Carmel

So that you can have them all directly in the bosom of a brand new religion To England where your religion is illegal Isn't it possible that Mount Carmel How dare you? How dare you, Dip? Ron, hear me out Maybe your town sucks And you want any reason to get out of it

No And you found it with Scientology No You like to watch the Friday Night Football games He wanted to play his trumpet Yeah, he did You can do that anywhere But Scientology, remember

I mean Scientology is actually above Synanon when it comes to jazz musicians Scientology is full of jazz musicians Check Korea Check Korea was the number one Check Korea, yeah And remember the Scientology jazz record that we played during the hour? It's surprisingly good The interesting thing with jazz is it's all about editing

But Scientology is it's written, it's not at all edited It's about the notes you don't play You're talking about editing in their mind Editing in their mind Yeah, but sometimes jazz is all about letting go, no edits Actually, most of the time jazz is about letting go, no edits I know this I watched the Ken Burns documentary on jazz

And it's about the notes you don't play Don't play Yeah, I like it when it's backwards, thatch Yeah, it's just that Where it's just It's the notes you shouldn't play Now at this point, David Miscavige and his twin sister Denise were 12 years old And within a year of arriving at St. Hill

Both of them were auditors The youngest auditors in Scientology history Nope Now for those of you who don't know Let's briefly go through what auditing entails, what it is Just so you can decide for yourself whether or not a 13-year-old is up to this task I can't even imagine sitting down as an adult male across from a 13-year-old The cruel, incisive nature of a child

So brutal So brutal The theory of auditing is that it locates and discharges mental masses That are blocking the free flow of good energy Thank you for finally putting in a way that makes sense According to Hubbard, ideas and fantasies have physical weight and solidity And they root themselves in the mind as phobias and obsessions Your fears, your obsessions, those have weight, those are physical

Unless they're there, Barrow But you remember, they're separate, right? Because you're your liquid death, right? Your fears and your obsessions are the rock star, right? But we gotta get rid of the rock star because what's that doing? It's poisoning your water burger water Okay, got it By talking through these fears... For those that don't know, I'm drinking out of a water burger mug

But yeah, it's a water burger style mug We're not in Texas right now By talking... By talking through these fears and obsessions in an auditing session With a trained, scientological auditor to guide you These mental masses are broken up and purged It's like clearing out a drain Got you? I mean, you know, you do feel weight when you're depressed or, you know, anxious

It does feel like a weight Yeah, a weight has lifted off my chest A weight has lifted off my shoulders These are things that we're used to hearing, you know? That is the thing about Scientology It takes that little thing that you do have some relation to And it blows it out with something huge And then you also...

But there's certain things, right? Because most human beings immediately feel better when you sit and talk about yourself for a while Sure So that's one thing, kind of like how they say, you know what's actually yes You're addicted to the nicotine with cigarettes And the relaxation part of it is the act of taking a deep breath Which is what we don't do as often in American society And now Marcus can't breathe

And now he can't breathe Under related reasons, but I can't breathe, yeah What they do is they put the cans in your hand of the e-meter and then it jumps back and forth And then what they do is infer meanings to the jumps in the e-meter from the words that you say But even the e-meter's technology means nothing Well, that's the thing I'll just go with the tarot cards I like the tarot cards better

The e-meter stuff was invented by a guy named Volney Matheson that Elron took it from And again, it's just charges, it just bounces Well, the e-meter is how they sell Scientology as science The e-meter, it's a little machine that measures those negative mental masses that I was talking about I have one headed to my house An e-meter, really Oh, we're getting this whole fucking ship in line, my friends Fantastic

Well, these masses are detected by little sticks held by the oddity The oddity, by the way, is called a pre-clear Get that straight Yeah I got it, pre-clear, the pre-come of Scientologists Correct, you can still get your pregnant Absolutely If the needle moves to the right while the pre-clear is holding the sticks

The resistance is rising, which is bad But if it moves to the left, the resistance is falling, which is good Star Wars This is what the Scientologists who haunted the train station at 42nd and 8th in Manhattan That's what they were trying to get you to sit down and do, that whole free personality test thing They wanted you to sit down, hold the sticks The needle goes all over the place and they say, whoa, buddy You need to come in for some more oddity

Yeah, I'm in a New York City subway station, I'm a little fucking stressed Sorry What they do is they have a personality test where they say a bunch of things to you And they watch the e-meter And so, like, let's say, like, you're talking about, like, whatever, blah, blah, blah And then, like, on the word broom, the e-meter jumps And they're like, what's with brooms? What's with brooms?

It's like, that is a thing What is it about brooms that you don't like? What is it about brooms that you are, like, being affected by? I mean, honestly, that does make me think of the old wives tale That people used to jump off the refrigerator with a broomstick in their ass and then they would die What? Do you remember that? The fuck are you talking about?

I don't know, maybe It is a story that did happen This did happen to somebody, we covered it up to a gentleman Yeah, but it's not an old wives tale I don't think it ever actually happened Oh, it was when I was a child I think it was homophobic Aw, fridge with broom

In buttocks This is gonna be great This is gonna be great Broom death This is from Snopes Did a co-ed die It says here it's a legend according to Snopes A co-ed fatally skewers herself or masturbating with a broom in

It went all the way to Snopes It's a legend It's a wives tale Honestly, it is like ball bunion It is What's the thing? If the pre-clear gives an answer during auditing That makes the needle jump to the right

Then the subject of that answer becomes an area of Concentration Like Henry said, you say broom, it jumps Oh, let's concentrate on brooms But the thing is about that Is the auditor is just gonna fucking hammer away at the subject Until they find something Because you can keep playing word association

Until you find a bad feeling But then the auditor keeps hammering Until they're satisfied that they've drained the pre-clear Of the troubling experience or feeling Basically, you talk about it until you feel better again Alright, I admit it, I indeed If not seen a broomstick, I have not shoved up my ass Yes, indeed

I enjoy it Good, all clear This is also where overts and withholds come into play We're gonna get into a little bit more terminology here God, just keep your fucking hats on Most of these books come with a glossary that we should put out We should put out one of our glossaries That people can get more

Scientological terms in their heads We've had our team build a pretty goddamn good glossary for us Over the course of this series But isn't that also a component of the search And the fun aspect of it Sure Oh, what's that word meaning? You're talking about the ultimate torture of Scientologists

Which is about the misuse of words And how that is An MU is one of the worst things that you can do in Scientology And you are supposed to travel everywhere With a dictionary in your pocket Wow, a misuse? It's misdoing a word Misunderstanding a word

Mm-hmm If something bad's happening in a pre-clear's life Then it was because they'd done something bad That does the least good for the least number of people Or the most harm to the greatest number of people They have committed an overt Well, they actually get a third heart like Dick Cheney That's okay

But if they didn't admit to the overt immediately They were then committing a withhold Which is keeping a secret And that withhold, combined with the overt That's what's causing your unhappiness Not your body, not the way that you eat Or all the things that you've done It's your clam

And you made clam problems back when you were a clam And now you're suffering from your clam problems Alright So it's because they did something wrong They're not acknowledging it And they're not doing anything to fix it So they're upset But you see again, this is base level

Before you understand it's not even you It's your Theatons inside of you And eventually you have to figure out How to talk to your Theatons And release those overt and withholds From your Theatons inside of you Oh, I'm actually gonna go catch my train It's been great to be here

I'm happy I stopped for the free cookie at the subway I am stressed I am stressed I've got to get to fucking 54th street I'm gonna fight an entire mob of Santa Clauses Because it's Santa Claus In Hubbard's view, Overts and withholds were the sole reason

For all bad conditions and experiences So constantly purging oneself Of all overts and withholds Was a necessary part of the auditing process Of course, is how Scientology collects blackmail Because you say all of this shit And you don't understand that it's kept in your KR Until you start going into the OT

And then all of this shit you said before Comes up again And you gotta re-release it all again And can you explain what KR is? We'll get into it Yeah, basically it's just Every secret you tell them goes into a file And they keep it

Your ethics file Your case You ever want to try to sound professional? Alright, just try to sound professional It's extremely difficult So what do you do, right? Me? Use periods

It's declarative sentences It seems professional It's perfunctory Right? It just delivers a message and information And then you walk away from it But what I find is that when you leave a period With being like,

We'll talk about this in the meeting next week Period Right? And you send that to somebody A lot of times it sounds like You're about to read them the filth Which is why you need Grammarly Right?

Because when it comes to work Communication is key Even if you don't have a quote unquote writing job Because all jobs require writing Unless you're a mime Grammarly's premiums advance tone suggestions Help you communicate confidently And reframe your words to be more positive

And productive Right? It makes you say stuff like Isn't that fun? And gee willikers I can't wait for the deposition Reframe negative language To be more solution-focused

So you can better collaborate With your team co-workers and clients I'm going to come over there And kill your family Exclamation point I'm going to come over and kill your family Seems cute Seems fun

The right tone could move any project forward When you get it just right with Grammarly Go to grammarly.com slash tone To download and learn more about Grammarly premiums advance tone suggestions That's G-R-A-M-M-A-R-L-Y-D-O-T-COM Slash T-O-N-E Now the ultimate goal of auditing

Is to emancipate the Scientologist From the laws of matter, energy, space and time NEST You know he said MEST before That's what MEST is That's a lot to emancipate a person from Yeah Because they're pretty persistent

Yeah, the whole biological thing And if you're still all fucked up with your MEST Then you're pre-clear But if through auditing You cleanse yourself of your MEST Your obsessions, your fears, your irrational urges You will then and only then become clear That's what going clear means

I guess if this is the It's just If it ended there Well that's what Dianetics was When we covered that in the LRA series Dianetics was getting you clear and then released But then LRA understood I need to bring them back

How do I keep them back in And then what you do is You turn it into a spirituality You create the idea of thetans And then OT, once you get past clear The OT levels are all about Doing all of these same processes But with the little ghosts that live inside of you

Because really isn't this just This is just a It's just got a little props But it's just the same as Catholicism You mean made up Completely totally just fictional Certain things have a placebo effect But then the rest of it is just

Absolute arcane garbage And then fucking full punishment systems Well it does help when you did something wrong And you want to talk to somebody about it And all those things But then Catholicism is like And now you gotta go down this road Evangelicalism takes you down whatever path

And then here they just wanted to sell you more books And they were excited I mean the difference is that you could technically be a Catholic And never pay a dime your entire life And you still get the Catholic experience You gotta pay I mean that's not really good I'm telling you

It's like when you go into one of those restaurants Where it's like it's free donation only You don't tip and you get a sandwich My friend people are gonna judge you Catholics don't really want you But you could still do it for free You could still do it Truthfully Catholics don't want you

Everybody captain will see Christians want you But Catholics think that None of you are good enough The only people who are good enough Are the pedophiles we put superhero uniforms on There you go, really powerful Evangelicals, you better fucking tip Yeah, you better

But as far as David Miscavige's Wonderkin status and Scientology went He was made an auditor at 13 All that shit that we just talked about He was 13 years old with all that power In his hands It was clear by the age of 15 And even though there was a lot of people trying to

Stop him from being clear There were several people saying like His reports are actually coming back like Highly disturbed and they're all like One guy actually swung straight up like Below him, they wanted to get rid of him We're gonna get to that here in a second We're gonna get in that full story

But this served to instill in David the idea That he was an incredibly special person In an incredibly special group But David also had obvious Emotional problems Yeah, he seems so calm and put together According to one former Scientologist Named Evard Scott

Who was tasked with watching over David When David was a young teenager David apparently had episodes Caused by what they called Asmatic seizures Which, if true, means that David Miscavige Had both asthma and epilepsy Seems though this probably isn't true

From what it sounds like, David Miscavige May have simply been emotionally disturbed And violent from a fairly young age Every time I saw the word Asmatic seizure I now understood they meant Weird temper tantrum Yes, Evard Scott was told That when David had an episode

Do not touch him Because David gets very violent And beats the hell out of you If you do touch him He was like this out the pussy He was slapping and hitting And was a little I don't know

Tyring, he's a Tasmanian devil He's a fucking goblin I feel bad for that little twin in there Who had to share the womb Scott also remembered That when he was watching over David He saw the kid take off his shirt In preparation for a shower

Said that David was so bizarrely And disturbingly buff That he looked like a 13 year old Arnold Schwarzenegger He was like a cut child And it's disturbing A cut 5 foot 2 child Little Hercules He was full of drugs

Very creepy, he's devastated now Now, Evard Scott was one of the first people To notice that there was something wrong With young David Miss Kavich Despite being held up as an expert Auditor at 13 David didn't seem to know how to Audit and even said that

Auditing was for weaklings Because he was already clear from a past life He understood the game Immediately You see, I have visions of a past life Just like LRH did LRH traversed the van Remember when he went through the radiation belt

Around the moon He went the way we send his mind there He sent his mind into the past He immediately was just saying that stuff As a 15 year old He was like, well actually I looked into my past And I've been clear And they were like, that's incredible

This kid's amazing He's a brilliant little sociopath But Evard Scott He wasn't buying it He filed what's known as a Knowledge report against David But it seems like someone Had a vested interest in David's advancement

Sounds like they needed a Wunderkind Apparently the Scientology magazine Was writing an article About the youngest auditor in history Little Davey Miss Kavich And Scott was simply complicating matters Oh yeah, he was getting in the way of history My friend

It's kind of like how LeBron James Was like hit Like at like 15 years old Like he's going to be the king of sports They did it with David Miss Kavich But they were like, he is the guy And it's weird because you had a bunch of other guys That were very much sure they were the guy

And then all of a sudden a 15 year old shows up And he's terrifying everybody Into believing him LeBron made him pick him because he was the best He was the best basketball player of all The eras he played in But I wonder if Miss Kavich truly was the best Was he the best at playing the game in Scientology?

I think so What I see it as is that instead of somebody Like I don't think he was kind of anointed I think he was picked as a guy Yeah Like I think there's like, okay we need like a Wunderkind We need like some sort of prodigy here

That kid seems like he knows what's going on He knows the lingo He knows how to walk the walk So let's bring him up and see what he does And they just And they didn't realize that they had picked A monster Well because also all of the eras of his brothers and sisters

Got moved to go to do Full on Full time Scientology instructions Right To go through into a full Scientology school The rest of them are like I wish I was in school

Like this is real I don't want to be here And David just jumped in Yeah He just got it from the second that he arrived At St. Hel Nevertheless Evard Scott continued filing

Knowledge reports on David Miss Kavich To the Ethics Office Because he was also a strangely misogynistic little boy Where he'd say like, god damn These god damn broads They don't belong in Sea Org They don't know how to audit These slits don't know how to break me down

And he was intense I remember he said that one of the shocking things he saw So one of the things they do in Scientology Is that they teach you a lesson And then they do it super abstract They're like, now build the lesson that we just taught you But represent it in play So you go and you take all the things you just learned

You're supposed to make at least And then they watch David as a 15 year old walk down And just go Flunk Flunk Like just flunking a whole table of adults That are sitting here making clay figurines Trying to make up

Trying to represent the fake shit That they all just got taught And then he understood I just fucking put all of these people in their plates And everybody loves me for it Absolutely Well maybe they weren't making the best clay products Worth it

They obviously sucked They really may have They're being suppressive That's the thing When Evard Scott was called into the Ethics Office To discuss all of these Knowledge reports He thought, finally Finally I've got through to somebody

They brought him in and said, you sir You're interpolating David, Miss Kapp You're interpolating I'm interpolating You're interpolating I don't even know what that means But I don't even understand

How I could be interpolating Oh you better pull out your dictionary And find out But guess what If you went in there Guess what you wouldn't find Interpolating It's a new word

You just made it up Yeah Elrond Hubbard Created the word interpolating It means to upset someone To impede someone I mean I love the word to be honest We talk about it

We love interpolating It's a great word You're interpolating me And I'm not going to sit here and stay I'm not going to sit here And take that interpolation from you Yeah Incredible

We can add it They're all made up Of course Interpolation will take it Yeah, but instead of backing down Scott, he stood by his guns He said, this kid is an SP A suppressive person

It's the worst thing But a Scientologist Can call another Scientologist They don't use that word lightly Especially not in 1976 Wow, it sounds like he's really Interpolating it Well, they said that

David Miscavige was actually outside Listening to Edward Scott Oh, I'm sure he guaranteed it Curious? Yeah But when he used the word SP Like David Miscavige was smart enough To know like, I got to back off from this guy

I have got to let this guy I've got to put as much distance Between me and this guy as I possibly can At 15 At 15 Wow And so David Miscavige just disengaged

And kept climbing up the Scientology ladder Uninterpolated It's a smart decision By 16 David was done with secular life He announced that he wanted to devote His life to Elron Hubbard Technically makes David Miscavige

A high school dropout Most of them were Most of the heads of Scientology Were high school dropouts Because they didn't believe in high school Well, I mean, so was Kanye And he's fine Yay

Self-educated But as far as David was concerned He was on to greater things Because in 1976 He joined C.Org Okay Come on, boys We're going to show

There it is Also, I believe college dropout Was the reference that I'm trying to make Thank you But now he's in C.Org Yeah Basically, C.Org is like the Vatican of Scientology Sweet

Yeah, it's where the highest ranking members serve And that's where they make the decisions That affect every Scientologist It's also where they make the decisions That affect non-Scientologists It's also, you know It's changed over the years Because some people, like

It used to be the elite And then it turned into Those that worked the hardest It turned into our free labor Like world And then that got bumped down to the RPF So then C.Org became like It's strange

Because they both are like The most slave-like members of Scientology But they also The high rankings of the They're both like the lowest class And the highest class All in one Well, it's basically

That is where C.Org is where Scientology Truly becomes a cult You know, like even outside it Like all the It's where the billionaire contract is Yeah, all the fucking Scientologists That are coming in and out of

Celebrity centers here in L.A. That are paying their money To get pre-clear and do it They're not even They don't even know They're not even a part of Scientology Not really They're just fucking

They have subscriptions Yeah, you're bucks and seats Yeah, but the people in C.Org They're an occult Ooh What's an RPF? Don't even Don't even bother

Don't even bother With this raw meat over here You're being Oh my god You're being Inbustuous What is it called? Inbustuous

You can say that You're being goddamn Inbustuous Now, C.Org, it's a naval No answer No answer Oh, we'll see We'll find out

We'll find out We'll find out Okay Now, C.Org, they are A naval organization But not everything in C.Org Necessarily has to take Place on a boat

Although boating is Certainly a part of C.Org Boating lifestyle Because once the boat Became permanently I'm not going to say Ground, babe

I'm going to say docked Yeah, yeah, yeah Because the boat Used to be called flag, right? Then it's got parked In front of the Clearwater Like organization building Or in Florida

They put it Parked it there So that's there And then, like, they can't Move it anymore Because they don't have enough People to, like, man it anymore Because it's a giant

Massive super yacht Yeah Yeah, so C.Org is A frame of mind Much like how It's about hats Margaritaville isn't a place It's an idea

Yes, it's a thought virus Okay Now once David Viscavich Dropped out of high school He was sent to Clearwater, Florida The global headquarters Of Scientology One of the most bizarre places

I've ever been in my life You're welcome You know, when you go to the Scientology headquarters Like, you know when you Feel a building is empty You feel like the headquarters Are completely empty

You feel like everyone That's on the property Is outside Watching everybody That's looking At the headquarters From across the street Weird

And they follow you to your car Oh, nice Well, that's nice to get That kind of courtesy walk On the channel Growing up in Scientology I learned a lot about How a lot of these centers

Now truly probably Have, like, two or three People working in them Yeah Wow There in Clearwater David was named A member of the

Commodore's Messenger Organization The CMO Which is a bizarre Paramilitary wing of Seawork That was at this point Made up of terrifying children Oh, yeah

Because LRH Understood that the kids Are the future Yeah And you gotta indoctrinate Them while their children Get them in And yes

Yes, it was a lot of The Commodore's Messengers Little girls putting Clothes onto LRH Because he didn't have The proper dexterity Of his fingers anymore Because he was dying

Of various, you know, like I think he had the most Advanced case of gout That anyone's ever had He had phantom... He had phantom toes I mean, like, he did not know Where his fingers

Didn't work So he'd have them Dress him and stuff like that Yeah But he wasn't a squeezer I don't think he did any Liquor Toucher at all No, I don't think so

Not from our episodes No, not that anyone can tell Okay, well, that's a benefit That is good Yep There you go Well, I mean, LRH He was...

He said very explicitly With the Commodore's Messenger Organization He was very inspired by Hitler Let's just try to... Like, all I'm saying is Why don't we separate the art From the artist

Right And yes Time has not been Kind of Hitler Yes Well, does Hugo Boss Does the clothes

Have a political affiliation? Does a Mercedes Have a political affiliation? We'll take the style Not the substance That's right Yeah, LRH did say like Hitler was a mad man

He was a mad man But every time a mad man Has a dream Half of it's great Yeah And he said the Hitler Youth Was the best idea that Hitler ever came up with

Because you have a blank slate On which you can write anything Well, truly, they were all Part of it too You were just shoved right in there So after a year in Clearwater David Miscavige was transferred To a Scientology base

In La Quinta, California Called Cineorg Which is where L. Ron Hubbard Himself was hiding In the last stages of his life Trying to make movies Yeah, the Golden Era Production Studios

Interesting Now, there were about 70 people On the La Quinta base But everyone there was working Towards making movies Under LRH's direction Quite quickly, David Miscavige Rows to the rank of chief cinematographer

Wow And by 18, Miscavige was sitting At the right hand Of his religion's founder And sometimes it's about physical distance Because if you want to get someplace Talk about like, you know One thing people are missing

Like it's You gotta jump in When these decisions are being made If you're looking to take over Whatever cricket organization That you're in right now And you want to be number one And you're sick of being number eight

What you gotta do is Find out where number one eats lunch Or what number one likes to do Is a hobby And then you just keep being there With number one Cause eventually what happens With the number one

They get dementia The police are coming to arrest Get all this stuff to happen You're under all this pressure Eventually they get arrested If you're just standing in the room Sometimes you could become number two Just because it's like

You're in charge now Just pick up the phone When I call from Jeff Don't expect many things going in your favor If you're not in the room If you're not with the decision makers I mean sometimes Sometimes all it really takes

Is just you saying Alright, you're the first one to say that After everything falls apart You're the first one to say Alright, here's what we're gonna do And then all of a sudden You're in charge of Scientology For the next 40 years

Yeah, seriously But working right underneath David Miscavige At Senate org Was one of the men Who would eventually be In David's inner circle And would also later become Scientology's most high-profile defector

This was where David Miscavige Met Mike Reinder Boo Oh, you're gonna boo Mike Reinder Mike Reinder He's another one of those guys He's tried

He's come out He's done horrible things But we must forgive When someone is trying To make amends I agree, I agree Is he the guy from my Scientology movie The bald dude

Who does all the re-enactments Is it that guy? No, you might be thinking of I forget that guy's name Bunyan Paul Runyan I know what you're saying I know what you're talking about

Marty Bunyan Marty Janetti Marty Marty Rathbone Marty Rathbone Yes, Marty Rathbone That's all it takes It's a little bit of work

But Mike Reinder's this guy Who's with Leah Remini Yeah He thought he could dare Replace Kevin Jane I don't think so, sir No, sir, not Mike, King of Queens Now Mike Reinder's parents

Were early adopters of Scientology They joined in 1959 In Australia Through a neighbor Who regularly drove The 500 miles from Adelaide To Melbourne To hear Dianetics lectures

From Hubbard himself Mike was just five years old When his parents joined But by the time he was six He was already being dropped off At the local Scientology Center For indoctrination seminars Called Children's Communication Courses

At least they got to go to school The other kids in the United States Had to be put on the ranch Was the Scientology's version Of the Troubled Teen Industry Where they just had to pull weeds Because the LRH said it gets you Closer to mess

Yeah Okay Well here At these Children's Communications Courses Children were taught a drill Called Bullbaiting Which is somewhat similar to the game That we discussed in our Synanon episode

Bullbaiting was meant to help Auditors control their reactions To anything that might be said In counseling sessions If a conflict were to break out That conflict by the way That's called a firefight In the Scientology terminology

That's kind of fun Yeah, firefight And additionally Bullbaiting also trained kids and adults To rid themselves of any impulse To flinch in the face of intimidation Out in the real world Because as Scientologists

They were going to be met with resistance Oh yeah, and it's about being It's about being emotionless They want you to be able to control your reactions And invariably Not question things that you were taught Yeah Kids would be verbally

And sometimes physically assaulted Until quote The button was flat That means that the student No longer reacted in any way To the coach's provocation You got to keep pressing the button Pressing the button

Pressing the button until the button disappears My God That used to happen with the old Nintendo The old Nintendo button Depressed it too much That would get stuck there To suck a button Yeah

But that was not what you were trying for Because that ended your afternoon Yeah, that wasn't good So you wanted the button to be up You want to stick the button though And then it's all done When Reinders reading Bullbaiting mostly served to habituate children

To future verbal and physical abuse You can be screamed at And screamed at and screamed at And you're not going to react Okay Now like England Australia also outlawed Scientology In the mid-60s

Saying that it was a delusional belief system Based on fictions and fallacies Propagated by falsehood and deception Yeah, nice even though they put their whole Psyop about being watching out for Drop Bears Australia's always lying Koala Bears government again

Against the banning But as it often goes In situations like this The perceived persecution Made families like Mike Reinders Believe that they were doing something important Exactly I.e. if they're telling me I'm wrong

I must be right Because I've been told That I'm going to be told that I'm wrong So I'm right Hubbard's right My auditor's right But this is indeed a fallen world I mean they are correct

Again, biggest mistake they made Was banning this damn thought process Well the inside of it But we didn't ban it And this is where the stronghold is This is why we're doing an episode on it Yeah, exactly Like literally it's also been shat on

All over the place in America It does not have the same cachet But it's what you do It's kind of a Talk about it with evangelicalism In Christianity too Where if you go And you're taught that what you do is special

And that other people are going to have An adverse reaction Because they're not ready to hear about it They're not ready for it Or they are an enemy And they're an enemy And then you go and you try to bring somebody in And they do have a weird reaction to it

And then with it, yes You do then feel isolated But then when you go back to your home group They all are super happy to see you And it helps double you down Inside of the organization as well Same thing with you And all the words

All the verbiage Like you eventually get so Like drowning in it You get so covered in all of the terms That you start to sound like a crazy person When you talk You can't communicate with anyone else But I will say

You do get some people And then this is called a friend group How many people do you really need to know? And so the Reinders kept giving money to the church And they kept raising their kids as Scientologists And once Mike was old enough He too joined SeaOrg And found himself working under David Miscavige

At CineOrg making Hubbard movies That just It was all instructional videos And they're all I would rather work on Rust Yes I literally would rather work on it now I cannot imagine just Elron Hubbard

If I showed up to set on Rust I would show up with a bulletproof vest And be like Fuck all of you We're doing this bit Until this movie stops being made From what Reinder remembers Miscavige was a brash and flexible, vindictive, aggressively competitive bully

Who berated his subordinates, Reinder included But Miscavige was also already designated As a so-called Rocket Within the church Meaning that he'd been tapped as a special person, Destin For great things Wow, so this was just

Right out of the gates This guy was supposed to be the man However, David almost fucked up his entire trajectory When he decided to lighten the mood around Sinaorg By filming a skit to give to LRH Okay We don't know We can't find out what the skit was

We have no idea We don't know what it is I looked it up We tried finding out nobody Nobody has said what the skit is I mean, at this point, like Elron He was reaching the end of his life Things weren't going particularly well

The mood surrounding him was pretty dark It was dark In the late 70s and early 80s I could see that So David Miscavige, this weird little psychopath Thinks it's time for some skits and bits Dude, I have to fucking know what the skit was I wish I could find it

I couldn't find it anywhere Oh, man We have no clue what it was But LRH didn't like it That's why he didn't like it I'm pretty assuming it must have involved Some form of impression And maybe a little bit of a roast

Yeah, because LRH did not react In a way that he thought And that he would Oh, man Demanded to know the names of the people involved Who did that? I don't talk like that Oh, man

So literally it almost got derailed By a bad comedy sketch As it always does Oh, God The only way that Miscavige was able To get his ass out of the ringer Was to completely renovate one of LRH's houses He had to rid every single bit of fiberglass

In the entire structure Because LRH claimed to be allergic to fiberglass But that got him back in Wow That is That's his love language His acts of service Wow, that is

I mean, when we do something bad You just kind of move on You just move on You have to do a whole renovation This apparently ingratiated Miscavige to LRH considerably Because in 1980 When LRH finished his most famous novel

Battlefield Earth Leverage It's all about leverage Miscavige was heavily involved In the process of adapting the novel To film I don't You know what?

LRH should have realized Film is not his strong suit We don't know Well, today we know Battlefield Earth is one of the worst movies ever made John Travolta's biggest misstep But what's lesser known Is that John Travolta has actually been attached

To this project since 1980 Wow, that's amazing And you go back and you do watch it with friends It's kind of fun Oh, yeah I think that, again John Travolta, much like the other When he was in that Fred Durst movie

Apparently that was horrible But the choices that he makes as an actor In both films Excite me It's the same thing with Tom Hanks In the Elvis movie I know everyone disliked it But I was still like

I can't believe they're letting him Fucking do this They're just like, that's power You get to just suck out loud And everyone's like Tom, incredible Like, every day Wow, great work

Wow, John, incredible Now concerning Travolta's introduction To Scientology Hubbard knew as far back as 1954 That the best way to promote Scientology Was to court celebrities As early as 1955 The Scientology publication Ability

Published a list of potential celebrity recruits For members to go after Interestingly, this list included both Bob Hope And Jackie Gleason Wow Two men who in the year's sense Have been revealed as believers In the alien phenomenon

Isn't that weird because Jackie Gleason said that him and Nixon Went to an undisclosed location And looked at an alien body together That must have been real smoky And farty and full of whiskey Especially because you probably couldn't see There was so much smoke

You can't see what's in there That looks like a cigar, UFO You're smoking a cigar My eyes are too low But when recruiting established celebrities When that didn't really work out Nobody was recruited Not initially, huh?

Not initially Scientologists tried a different tactic We gotta catch him on the way up Yes I remember the Scientology party I once went to It was a group of people getting a lot of work You had so many fucking chances I was right there

Yep, you gotta open that mouth What's the difference between a cock and a hot dog? Nothing What's the difference between a Scientologist And a Satanist? Nothing I love this Frank guy Frank, you're one of the best salesmen

I've ever met about what to do with my mouth The difference is a fucking film career Is what the difference is Hey, tell me There's a lot of dicks I probably should have sucked We wouldn't be in this room We wouldn't be

I got something It's called a toothpaste It's called a toothbrush Use it And you got yourself a fucking new mouth What? Suck the dick Oh, you want me to suck a dick with a clean mouth

And then nowhere afterwards Thank you, Frank Oh, no I like a dirty mouth And then afterwards Why don't you just go cure that other little boy of ass That boy is Corey Feldman And I think he's gonna make it

Well, way back when Recruiters were placed outside of central casting To pass out flyers for workshops Quote-unquote, workshops On how to find an agent Or how to get into the screen actors guild Oh, man, so if you want to find desperate people That's where you go

Of course And the answer to both of those questions Scientology Yeah, that's the only way, bro Yeah, because they're fronts You know, like someone shows up thinking like I'm gonna get an agent by the end of the week And nope, you're just getting to be a Scientologist

That's like wanting to date an Irish Catholic girl So you just go watch U2 all the time Whenever they're alive Every they're alive But you know what? Technically, it boils down to the way Hollywood does work In many ways, it's who you know So the more people that get involved

Then are in on the game, the easier it is And then it's not just Scientology It's the connections within Scientology That get you through And then you find out there's certain Celebrity centers or CCs That you can or cannot go to Like you find out that like

The LA Big Celebrity Center The one that's been the big fancy mansion on Franklin It eventually becomes Only certain members can come here Because now so many people Are showing up with screenplays and shit That they're like, well, you don't really make the cut We need Gia Bonny Rabisi's dog trainers

Actually coming in today And he's gonna need this seat Thank you, I'm sorry, thank you It's still, it's a lanyard based culture Oh yeah, no You gotta have the right lanyard I know The big guys, they get to go to the Celebrity Center

Everyone else has to go to Magnolia and Laurel Canyon Across the street from the Gulf Station Yeah The welcoming center This in a roundabout sort of way That's how Scientology got John Travolta In 1969, Travolta was in Mexico Making his first film

That was a fun little ball of madness Called The Devil's Ring It's fucking amazing It's got Ernest Borgnein as the Satanist And Ernest Borgnein would love to watch it again Because he's like, that was the scariest I ever was And he didn't want to be scary He said he didn't like how much the devil was involved

Because it was the only movie that Anton LeVe Actually served as a technical consultant For Satanism on a shoot Like he showed on Honestly, poor Ernest Borgnein He's got his eyebrows are too big for that We actually played some clips from The Devil's Ring On the stream, I remember

Guess what, Stream's coming back It's Tuesday February 21st, 2023 But on the set of The Devil's Ring Travolta became friends with an actress, dancer And devout Scientologist named Joan Prather Travolta confided that he was suffering from depression And insomnia

Oh, Joan, I'm so sad I can't sleep, Joan What am I supposed to do, Joan? Depression, sadness Anything about closeted homosexuality? No Not at all You haven't even loved musical theater

Which isn't necessarily done necessarily now No, no, no, I'm just so gay I wanna dance in the clouds I wanna be you Ain't a plane while I walk Missy Cotter It's all good Really good

Really good Great, did you work on that before? Yo, yes Fucking hours, God So Prather shared that all of her raw emotions Have been smoothed out by a philosophy called Scientology Prather lent Travolta a copy of Dynetics down in Mexico Travolta claimed it's cured my insomnia

Or not cured, helped with my insomnia I read about a fucking hundred pages of it And would you believe, Mr. Cot, I was asleep Oh, it's like I was a little dog in a pile of sunshine That means you need to start worshiping golf Because the golf channel puts you to bed, Henry I know So when Travolta returned to LA, he started taking Scientology courses

During one class, he told the teacher He's got a big audition coming up For Welcome Back Cotter Did you learn how to say it like that? It's a big audition And that would, of course, become John Travolta's breakout role Benny Barbarino, sweat hog Yeah, that's a good show

But because Travolta was nervous about the audition The teacher in his Scientology class told everyone in attendance To point in the direction of the ABC studios And telepathically communicate a message We want John Travolta for the part We want John Travolta for the part You know, that's good vibes You're sending good vibes to ABC, alright?

Yeah, it's great Thoughts and prayers, it always works Sure And as it went, John came to the next class with part in hand And within just a couple of years, Travolta would be the world's most famous Scientologist The church's first big celebrity get Wow Now, when the Battlefield Earth movie was being discussed in 1980

John Travolta's star was already somewhat on the wane After the massive success of both Saturday Night Fever and Grease But the executive director of Scientology, Bill Franks Still thought that Travolta was right for the lead Yeah, I mean, he's the guy He's the number one Scientologist ready to act Celebrities used to be able to I'm not, I don't think that they wanted to

But they would disappear Oh yeah, they'd walk away If you like, Jack Nicholson lives an isolated mansion on the top of Mulholland Drive He is just there, vibing, eating, chicken parms And hanging out with the women that he hires to sit there and watch him eat sandwiches Stay hot, get loose Stay hot, get loose, nurses Well, some of them have their tops off

Well, the executive director of Scientology, as I said, Bill Franks He thought that Travolta was right for the lead Franks was also the person supposedly in possession of all the auditing records In which John Travolta spoke about his struggles with his own sexuality Would you believe I look at a set of dick balls and I'm thinking I'm like the boobies That's okay, you know what? Actually, that's fine You're allowed to be gay, you can be gay if that's your... Ooh, that's a confusing message

No, it's okay Scientology will use it as leverage against you for the rest of your career Leverage And they did I mean, Franks allegedly told Travolta that if he ever defected, if he ever thought about leaving Scientology If he ever thought about saying a single bad word about it All those auditing records, all those times that John Travolta talked about being gay Those would all be made public

Yeah, and I can't believe that any 6-year-old man with the skin of a 15-year-old boy And thousands of $40,000 toupees who regularly dances in swiveling little motions I can't believe he's gay Maybe, well, I think this is a message for the ladies out there Us straight... This is what we look like Straight men look like this Yeah, you love your Travolta He won't get down on you

What are you saying? Are you... What? You're saying that you're the epitome of straight man I am straight man That's you You are the epitome of straight man You have to wear soft shoes You're so... Your feet... I haven't seen you wear jeans in years

Not in two years Not in two years But that's what I'm saying Well, I have to take it I have to take it as well Tom Cruise, you don't want to have sex with you No, he just wants to have sex with a fucking full, uncut, trout I know, that's your theory

When David Miscavige heard that Franks was talking to Travolta about the part in Battlefield Earth Miscavige had enough power at the age of 18 to demand a meeting with John Traw Pretty soon, Miscavige had taken control of Scientology's biggest star knowing full well the hold Scientology had over Travolta Of course, Miscavige had some very disparaging words to say about John Travolta He did?

Yeah, of course No, he called him all manner of slurs and said, we've got this guy forever We got this F word in our pocket is the term that he used to use I can't believe he said that Yeah Yeah, Ben Now, of course, nothing came of the 1980 Battlefield Earth movie And we'll be talking a lot more about John Traw, Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley, and all the rest

in a later episode But part of the reason why Battlefield Earth fell apart was because LRH became occupied by other problems He abandoned Battlefield Earth to escape from a slew of subpoenas concerning charges that included but were not limited to Scientology's mid-70s infiltration of the IRS Very real criminal charges No, it's an outsourcing of labor to the IRS from your clandestine secret scam religion Well, this operation designed to extort taxed exempt status for the church It was called Operation Snow White

We talked about it much more extensively in our L Ron Hubbard series Basically, you put a bunch of Scientologists into the IRS You get enough dirt until you're finally able to flip the United States government into giving you tax exempt status Smart stuff That's all you gotta do Yeah, that's all you gotta do But by 1979, the IRS had rooted them out pretty fast It didn't take that long

And L Ron Hubbard's wife, Mary Sue Hubbard, she'd already been convicted of her direct involvement in the affair Leaving everything in Lakinta behind, L Ron, not wanting to go to jail as well He fled in a white Dodge van, tricked out specifically for Hubbard, had velvet curtains, had a daybed in the back He needs his amenities He does And L Ron Hubbard eventually settled in an apartment in Newport Beach, California Now, at this time, David Ms. Kavich was close to L Ron Hubbard, but he wasn't necessarily in Hubbard's inner circle just yet Rather, he was in the inner circle of Hubbard's inner circle

He's in the outer circle of the inner circle He's not the yolk He's just the white fluffy stuff around the white Yeah See, Ms. Kavich had become friends with Pat and Annie Broker, who were actually two of Hubbard's closest aides Pat ran secret undercover errands for Hubbard whenever Hubbard needed it And Annie was one of the original Commodore's messengers, making her fanatically devoted to LRH Do you know how I like my pants button?

Yes, indeed And so, when Hubbard went underground in 1980, Pat and Annie were rightly positioned to take the helm Because, of course, L Ron Hubbard could only hand things over to people he trusted And David Ms. Kavich was likewise rightly positioned to help Pat and Annie at the highest levels And these are all kids. They're all in their fucking twenties Yeah Now, Mary Sue Hubbard was the head of the Guardian's office Which was the arm of Scientology responsible for infiltrating the IRS

Basically, the Guardian's office is Scientology's version of the KGB They're responsible for attacking suppressive persons And they got all the lawyers in there Got you Ms. Kavich, meanwhile, had been put fully in charge of the Commodore's messenger service at the age of 19 Little Nazi Yeah, it makes sense because the Commodore's message service is all teenagers, all kids But in my estimation, the CMO, or excuse me, Commodore's Message Organization

And in my estimation, the CMO is more Scientology's secret police It's their Gestapo It's the Nazi Gestapo was run by the Hitler youth Well, it's also during this time period, it would change David Ms. Kavich will obviously change all of these structures This was served as a pseudo Gestapo Yeah, I don't know why they call them Gestapo Because they keep going or no?

No, no, you guys don't remember that? I don't know why they call them Gestapo, I haven't seen them stop yet Oh, sure Sure, remember that from what? Do you remember? I said that from Roundtable Years ago? Probably like 10 years ago Oh, wow

You don't remember that? Two years ago, one line out of it I remember a lot of it I remember a lot of it Yeah, Gestapo, I haven't seen them stop yet I don't know why they call them Gestapo, I haven't seen them stop yet I feel like someone's going to say like that was like from an old musical No, no, no, no

But the thing is that David Ms. Kavich, he's in charge of the Commodore's Messenger's Organization He has half the power that he needs At this point, the Guardian's Office, Scientology's KGB, they're somewhat in disarray Operation Snow White had come crashing down because a Scientologist had turned informant So trust was at an all-time low David Ms. Kavich saw this crisis of confidence in the Old Guard as an opportunity And he set about gaining control of the Guardian's Office as a fresh face Oh, a fresh face he is

He is, he looks like he's made fifth place at a Rod Stewart lookalike competition Just because of the height At the same time, Ms. Kavich also took on the role of Chairman of the Board of Author Services I think it was Author Services International, I think Yeah, I think it was International They just put shit at the end Oh yeah, they just said they had the long titles Well, Author Services was a money laundering operation whose purpose was to skim money out of the top of Scientology proper

And funnel it directly to Elrond Hubbard Disguising the cash from the religion as book royalties from Elrond's prodigious literary output David Ms. Kavich begins this process of understanding of how to double your money Which is what you do is that you take money that people buy So they're buying in-house material from the Scientology store They're buying his material from you so you get that money But then what you do is you take all that money and normally you'd have to divide it up for taxes and blah blah blah He then takes a chunk of that money and says, no, no, no, this old is actually, this is something else

And I'm going to stick that money back into another side of the corporation and just give it to LRH But even though LRH is, he doesn't have money He's just walking around It would have been legal if Elrond Hubbard just said he was running for Congress Basically Fine, just allocate the funds right over there This basically put David Ms. Kavich in prime positions of both the financial and authoritative wings of Scientology All at the age of 23

And this of course meant that he was now in Hubbard's inner circle with Pat and Annie Broker He made it to the yoke, he did it And once Ms. Kavich had Elrond's ear, he began eliminating potential rivals by worm-tongue in Hubbard Into believing that once trusted Scientologists were taking advantage of the chaos to steal from the church And I do think he liked the fact that a young member We talk about this a lot, he saw the violence in David Ms. Kavich and he was just like, I like this I like the fact that you can be the hammer that I can't be anymore And there was something about having that young energy, I think, talking to him

He feels like he's kind of, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah Like getting all pumped up from David Ms. Kavich and then he's just like, yeah, go do whatever you want I mean, I can see David Ms. Kavich doing a pretty good pump-up speech, to be honest He does If he turned his powers for good, he could have been a great head coach He is not as good as a talker as LRH ever was I was watching the only real, like, interview with him with Ted Koppel He's stumbling, he's actually kind of like, back and forth

If he's feeling confident, he feels good But a lot of times he just says a lot of curse words and slaps you I think he does good on a big stage though, because I did watch him present, I forget what it was for It was for the tax exempt status Yeah, he gave some large presentation about five or six years ago Do you guys remember that? Oh yeah, he just did a new one In a grandiose sense, I think he can speak OK When he's talking to a Scientologist, he knows exactly

When he's talking to people who will not question him in any way whatsoever He's great He's amazing Wow That's amazing, I'm so charming, with no one questions me Yeah, and he's, I mean, that's the things that David Ms. Kavich has this incredibly manic energy And I think, Inner, I think you're right, it definitely rubbed off on LRH He's like, yeah, all right, yeah

Because this is also about the time that the first punishments really started in Scientology Well, at least punishments had always been a thing in Scientology But this is when punishments became torture They really were way more about, it was more homework Because LRH believed in the idea of you reward for positive, you punish for negative So you give people gifts when they do well, when they fail something You punish them, but it did begin with like, well, you need more MU hours You need these other things, you need to be audited more, you need to do any sort of homework

But David Ms. Kavich started being like, what if we just beat the shit out of him? Yeah This is partly how Scientology's infamous running program began See, Ms. Kavich had a rival from New Zealand named David Mayo And Ms. Kavich convinced Hubbard that Mayo was stealing from Scientology's money laundering operation, the ASI He's laundering from those money laundering operation? No, that's all my money Wow, double launder

So Hubbard supposedly gave an order that forced Mayo to run circles around an old oak tree all day and all night With only short breaks for food and water This is what I'm talking about with weird shit You're learning here, you're learning as you're running in a circle Just being like, this is keeping you focused Yeah It's like a more perverted road to wellness, what the Kellogg family used to do True, yeah

I mean, that's to say, I say Hubbard supposedly gave the order because Ms. Kavich came out and said Hubbard, Elron told you to do this So we don't really, at this point, we don't know what's actually coming from Hubbard And what's actually coming from David Because David is really starting to tighten up the communication between Hubbard and everyone else I mean, if you do have an enemy, the idea of making him just run in a circle around a tree 24 hours a day would be pretty fun Yeah, and eventually this punishment became more widely used

The oak tree was replaced with a palm tree and the dirt path was replaced with a gravel track They formalized it But today, the running program was remarketed, not as a punishment, but as a class It's called the caused resurgence rundown And Scientologists pay upwards of $5,000 to do what was once a punishment Why are they winning marathons? I haven't heard one Because marathons aren't in a circle

Oh, it's still just in a circle You're just running circles around a palm tree and you pay $5,000 for it And guess what? If you do it too fast, you get punished If you get it too slow, you get punished It's just kind of ingenious Turn it into a class, now you're paying to be punished I mean, what if you just, when you could run 24 points a mile in a circle, I guess What they do is they have all these side classes

Because then you big cub, I believe it's called the super literate And then if you become super literate, it means you've taken all the side quests You're trying to get 100% on the game Oh, wow Now by the early 80s, Miskovich and the Brokers had tightened communications with LRH to the point where they were actually able to prevent Hubbard's own wife from contacting him Mary Sue Hubbard, in turn, referred to Miskovich as Little Napoleon Because if you remember, David Miskovich is 5'3 But isn't he then just Napoleon?

But that's the thing, calling someone Little Napoleon is worse, because that's the other thing Napoleon was 5'7, a normal height And men are Yeah, well, normal height for a French person Way back in the day For many men Yeah, for a French person in the 1800s For many different eras of men

I'd be huge in Mongolia in 1700s They'd be like, whoa, look at that Who's that? You see a professional basketball player? What's basketball? He's towering over me, he's like an inch taller Eventually, Hubbard also decided that Mary Sue needed to become a sort of sacrificial lamb Yeah, I could see that Yeah, LRH, he starts jettisoning people She's fucking going, oh, this ain't all this fucking shit

She's his wife! Hey, man, she shouldn't have been dumb To be fair, she shouldn't have married him Hey, hey, someone's gotta love these idea men I guess so Well, LRH allegedly directed Miskovich to get Mary Sue to confess to murders committed by The Guardian's office And to do it on tape And LRH figured, okay, we get her on tape Then we can turn it over to the government

And then everything could be dumped on Mary Sue Sue and I can settle into an old age with no jail time. That's called real life insurance. Yeah. That's one way to get rid of your wife, I guess. But with Hubbard definitively turning on Mary Sue, Ms. Kavich was able to purge the Guardian's office of anyone loyal to Mary Sue, which put Ms. Kavich fully in control of Scientology's authoritative wing.

Yeah. The Guardian's office. Piece by piece by piece. Yeah. Just every little bit. Ms. Kavich restructured the corporate architecture of Scientology to place more of it under his own control without anyone really noticing, at least at first. Step number one.

All these door frames, they're going to be five foot seven from now on. I want to feel like, yeah, I want you to fucking kneel. Ms. Kavich framed it in such a way that what he said, the reason why I'm doing all this is that if we take Elron Hubbard out of the corporate structure, we take him out of the reach of the law. He can't be litigated if he's not a part of the Scientology corporate structure. We do it the old fashioned way where we have a, he's the fancy king. Right?

And so yes, he's there and he's our inspiration, but I'm the prime minister. Yeah. And to keep Hubbard out of court, Ms. Kavich hired a law firm that he codenamed the ex-attorneys. Cool. Ex-attorneys. Yeah. What's your guys? You cut this part.

Yeah. It sounds like it. He gave Ms. Kavich even more power to purge anyone in the church who was believed to have been aligned with Mary Sue Hubbard. So he's getting rid of everybody. Okay. Some of these people have been with Hubbard since the beginning of Seawork, decades past. Wow.

But Ms. Whatever. Yeah. Ms. Kavich relegated all of them to cleaning duty. That was the big thing in the day is that you got your fur on cleaning duty, your bottom of the barrel. Oh my. Guess who just pulled lawn duty?

No. No. I don't want that Ben Stiller's character from Happy Gilmore. No. Why? I would just leave at that point. What are they in their 40s and 50s? I'm fucking going to be clean.

You kind of maybe just sit like, oh, this will be a phase LRH is supposed to be right now. This is a test. Well, because truthfully, he's been totally isolated and everybody else has been fed the line. LRH is in his thought laboratory coming up with the next wave of tech, right? He's in there. That's the reason why he's not talking. It's not because he's dimension laden and kind of embarrassing himself and becoming a parody

of an old man. He's doing all that. No. It's like, no, he's there and he's formulating. He's traveling the stars with his mind. I mean, basically what Ms. Kavich is doing is he's just taken down the number of people who might have challenged his claim to the throne like, and it's, and L Ron Hubbard is, he is not realizing that he's doing it, but he's giving him permission to do it.

Well, yeah. That's why when you're the older brother, if you play Crusader Kings three, you always kill the babies. Yeah. Always. I don't know. You do. You kill the babies in that you could get to about like building family dynasties and

stuff is you have to make sure the right son becomes a leader of your group. Yeah. What Ms. Kavich says, he didn't kill the babies. He made friends with the babies. He killed the fathers. He killed the uncles. Good for babies. Lucky babies.

No, dad. No, around this time, 1983, other Scientologists were beginning to notice the only people who ever talked to LRH were these three kids, Pat Nanny Broker and David Ms. Kavich, because almost everyone from the old days had been purged from contact. When a Scientologist named Gail Irwin confronted David Ms. Kavich about this, he allegedly knocked her to the ground with a flying tackle. Yeah, man. Jesus.

I mean, that's how a five foot three man takes you down. You know, you got to go all in. You got to jump off a surface. Yeah. Yeah. Damn it, man. When she complained and demanded a meeting with Pat Broker in a Denny's parking lot, it was David Ms. Kavich.

Oh, moons over my fucking hammy. That's what we're fucking doing. Oh, let's go get a fucking grand slam, bitch. That is what we focus on, and I do love the human element of this. Meet me in the Denny's parking lot. Meet me in the Denny's parking lot right now. Well, she tried getting a hold of Pat Broker, but she got David Ms. Kavich instead. Oh, no.

I pick up phones. Oh, no. Ms. Gayle Irwin was waiting. Just see David Ms. Kavich carbo-loading with a bunch of pants. Slamming pancakes and sa-sa-sa. Ms. Gayle Irwin was waiting. A black van skidded in the parking lot, and David Ms. Kavich, with five other dudes, climbed out.

Get her, boys. Oh, no. Using a tire iron, Ms. Kavich walked up to the pay phone that Gayle was supposed to be talking to Pat on, and he smashed it with it. He smashed it to death. He was in a carbo-loading room with God destroy a telephone f**king booth. So she realized that Ms. Kavich knew what she was up to. Yeah.

And then Ms. Kavich ordered her into the van. Oh, no. She wasn't hurt, but she was declared an SP, which to a Scientologist is worse. Yeah, you just got everything... You would rather have the shit beat out of you than be declared an SP. Everything has been stripped of you and you're out, and then they have the, it's got fair game, which will come into play, and then you just get cut off. Right from your grave.

Now, by this point, no one knew what messages were actually coming from LRH in which ones were coming from Ms. Kavich and the brokers, because Ms. Kavich isn't the only one still in contact with LRH. There's also Pat and Annie brokers, basically three people that are in contact with him right now. But this confusion and anger about what's coming from LRH and what's not, that eventually resulted in protests at Scientology conventions held in 1982. Nice.

Ms. Kavich and his minions verbally declared that all of the protesters were SPs, where he's before such a declaration had to come from formally written orders. Wow. Ms. Kavich also positioned himself to speak with LRH's voice in 1983, when Hubbard's eldest estranged son, Nibbs. Remember Nibbs? I remember Nibbs. He filed a lawsuit to summon Hubbard to court so Hubbard could subsequently be served with

a slew of civil cases relating to Scientological misdeeds. All of a sudden I wish I could be there, I wish. But I'm on Saturn right now. Just leave a message. I'm sorry Mr. Nibbs, we don't take lawsuits from little pieces of licorice. My name is Nibbs. Yes. Sound like a little candy.

Well to avoid court, Ms. Kavich had the ex-attorneys, higher experts, to manufacture a special batch of ink that could be dated with certainty. Ms. Kavich then had Hubbard sign a declaration saying he was okay and alive using this special ink. Then Ms. Kavich had an expert testify in court saying that LRH's signature using this ink was proof that he was alive, thereby avoiding any need for LRH to appear in court in person. Think about how far, think about how deep a scam that is. That's crazy.

And found properly aged ink that could be written down. So if they even tried to look at it with forensics, it would apply. That is the type of true thorough fuckery that he was capable of. And this is baby David. Like we're not even at full grown big daddy David. Wow. But sneakily, this signed statement also included a declaration that Ms. Kavich was in charge of Hubbard's affairs.

This later gave Ms. Kavich leverage to declare that Hubbard had named him Scientology's successor. The most powerful force in the world, leverage. We know the teeter-tutter rules of life. Well around this time, David Ms. Kavich also began using more aggressive tactics in defending Scientology in the public eye. Jump kick, jump kick, super punch, super punch. Notably he used these aggressive tactics during an event that Scientologists hyperbolically

refer to as the battle of Portland. I've seen that footage. See Scientology became embroiled in two major lawsuits in 1985 that threatened to murder, kill, completely remove Scientology from the face of the planet. One lawsuit claimed emotional distress caused by brainwashing and emotional abuse. The other claimed that the church had falsely asserted that they could improve the plaintiff's intelligence, creativity, and communication skills. Now what now?

How did we know that that didn't work? We have to think of it like it no longer is me now. I must tell my high-end team was very, very smart. I'm very stupid. I'm very stupid. Well, he, LLRO, he said that he just using auditing alone with one auditing session, he could raise your IQ point by one point. That easy.

Wow. I mean, basically, people are coming at him from two directions, like from one direction of like, hey, we're using slave labor. Yeah. And the other direction is your scam. Yep. Yeah. Right.

When the trials were all said and done, the courts were about to award a total of $69 million in damages to the plaintiffs, easily beg, yes, 69 million. That's what you, that's what you, did she suck your 69 million? That's a funny number. Nice. Well, I would easily bankrupted the church at the time. Okay. Now, probably not.

And so in May and June of 1985, Ms. Kavich organized a protest in which 12,000 Scientologists, including John Travolta, descended upon Portland. This is when John Travolta came out for the first time and openly said, I am a Scientologist. Scientology has helped me. I have helped other people with Scientology. But of course, this is also long after John Travolta was still a big star, a bankable star. John.

Okay. You're coming out. Yeah. It's me. This is great. So you're coming out. No, no. I just, you know, Mr. Connor, I'm just leaving my house.

That's great. That was 10 years ago. I haven't been. I took all the doors to put closets 10 years ago, Mr. Connor. This is great though. So you're coming out. You're a Scientologist. You want to come out about anything?

I just put my shoes to put. I paid some gold outside my house. It's the only thing I'm coming out of. No, Mr. Connor. Okay. Yeah. It was in 1985. So he was about five years past Urban Cowboy, but this was the year that he was in perfect

with Jamie Lee Curtis. She's good. She looks good. And that looks amazing in that one. But he's still also seven years from look who's talking and look who's talking too. And don't forget me. Start on look who's talking now. Hey, wow.

I didn't want to get you started on any of that. But these people, these 12,000 protesters. But that is really is remarkable. That's incredible. 12,000 people. Yeah. And that's where the judge declared a mistrial in one case and the church reached a settlement for an undisclosed amount in the other.

From this, Ms. Kavich learned that intimidation works. So the judge literally was like, let's go with mob rule basically just like, all right, okay, okay, okay. Sounds like a big old hassle. It's a little more complicated than that, but it breaks down to basically, yeah, he intimidated his way out of these and he saved, basically saved the church. All right. Well, he does get to be the head of it then, doesn't he?

You know, by 1986, Ms. Kavich, Annie Broker and Pat Broker, they were pretty much the only ones in contact with LRH. And on January 16th of that year, Hubbard suffered a stroke and died on a bus eight days later. I'm not even at sea. Hey, he discarded his vessel because he had more space homework that he had to do. I just feel like he should have died on a boat. He wanted that too.

He wanted that too. He did not want to die on a bus. I didn't want to die on a bus. No, he called it, it was the bluebird. It was the bluebird. It's a bus. He didn't want to be there either. He loved his boat.

He missed it. So he died on a bus named after a plane, but all he wanted was a boat. That's how life goes. Sad. You die with whatever you're in. I guess so. But just before LRH died, he issued something called flag order 3879. In this order called...

Okay, hold on. Was there any flag order 3876? Who knows? He just magically pulled that number out because it sounds cool. There's definitely forms. Yeah. There might have been 3878 before that. There could have been.

Okay. Well, in this order called the Sea Org in the future, Hubbard retired the rank of Commodore and promoted himself to admiral. Hey, congrats. Sweet. More importantly though, he instituted a new rank that of loyal officer, but instead of appointing David Miscavige to this new rank, LRH appointed Pat and Annie Broker, which made it somewhat obvious to most Scientologists that the torch was being passed to them.

Oh. Miscavige, of course, didn't agree. Yeah. That wasn't in his plan. Oh, I see. He didn't know that. Yeah. But before that fight happened, the church had to explain LRH's death to the church.

Because remember, Scientology is supposed to fix everything, including strokes. And if LRH couldn't figure it out, then what chance did the rest of them have? Right. So Broker and Miscavige came up with a plan together. They decided that LRH did not actually die. Oh, look at that. Instead, he, quote, dropped his body. Hey, man.

He's busy, dog. His hands are full, man. Yeah. Get rid of it. Dropped his body so he could move to a higher level of existence. Hit me with that, dog. Yeah. Cheat me up with that.

Sure. He was announced by David Miscavige himself at a gathering of 2,000 Scientologists days after Hubbard's death. You could almost hear the crowd now be like, oh, that's Chuggy. Yeah. Is that a thing? I don't know. But they, I remember when he died, they said that they all applauded.

Everybody with him and the Brokers were like, yes, we did it because they were trying to frame it like it's positive. But they also, they were like, no, it's out. Yeah. It wasn't at the Hollywood Bowl where he announced it, but it was something like that. Yeah. It was like the Hollywood Palladium. The Palladium.

Yeah. He announced it there. All right. So they were celebrating the death of their dear leader. Yeah. Now, for most Scientologists, when they saw David Miscavige on stage announcing all this wacky shit, that was the first time they'd ever seen or even heard of David Miscavige. It must have been funny too, because they got to bring out the little step like when

Robert Reich speaks. And then you have to bring out the little thing. They do have that. I know that. He does have a little stool that he used to use. And he also, he refuses lifts because he says that's TC's thing. TC, Tom Cruise. I see.

TC figured that one out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But when Miscavige said that Hubbard had reached the level in which the body is nothing more than an impediment, the people listened. Up next at the memorial service was Pat Broker, who had big news to deliver to the congregation to soften the blow of Hubbard's death. Okay.

He said that Hubbard had made significant breakthroughs in his research just before he dropped his body. Great. And Hubbard had discovered two more levels on the bridge to total freedom. Oh my God. You wouldn't even believe it. Oh my God. You wouldn't even believe it.

Oh my God. And he had notes for three after that. Wow. I can't. Whoa. More levels of this pyramid scheme. Hey. Hey.

Now the bridge to total freedom is a list of auditing actions that are needed to reach the highest OT level. The OT level is the operating Satan level, which one can only progress through what one has become clear. It's the work after the work after you've done all the work. And each operating Satan level reveals new knowledge. Like you learn about the Xenu mythology after OT three of eight, when it's far too late to turn back.

But that's it still, right? It still ends with Xenu or do they add another one? No, there's five more after Xenu. After Xenu? Oh yeah. There's five more. Oh my God. And if any of this sounds confusing, then perhaps you merchants of chaos need to stop

nattering your mis-emotionals. I'd recommend taking a guck bomb to straight wire your purif into a flubless audit. Else wise, you clams might be brought up to the comm of at-seaters to blow down your interbulations. Yeah. And you want some more clams speak for hubborgs, right? Because the thing is we get you as raw meat sure when we run you up to present time. As long as you're in ethics, you're going to have to deal with it.

But if you're getting rocks slammed and you're rundown because you're a JND and you've been t- that's getting ticked on your KR and your MUNs are piling up. You don't jump out gradient. You got to stick to your SOS and you got to be the spokes clam. You want to be not the squirrel your fate and thought taught you to be so you don't blame me for blows or you'll be spending your summer getting your goddamn TRs in. All right. There we go.

I want to be the spokes clam. I can be. Yeah. Not the squirrel your Satan's want. No. Absolutely not. Who would I would rather? Well, theoretically.

Well, we've learned nothing. No, it's more fun to be a squirrel. That's like two hours to put together that's really good. What does it mean? I mean, I got the gist of it. That's all you need to do. That's all. That's all it is.

That's it. There's nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, I said, like, if all of you people who don't like Scientology, you need to stop fucking up all the things. I don't know. Great.

Yeah. I actually do understand mine, but you have to put the audience to it. I understand it, but I couldn't explain it. Does that make sense? I understand. But I can't explain. Welcome to Scientology. Welcome to Scientology.

Well, really, all you need to know about the OT levels for the purposes of this story is that there always have been and always will be only eight OT levels. But at L. Ron Hubbard's memorial service, you suddenly got Pat Broker saying, nah, man, there's two more OT levels. And he actually held up what was supposed to be a page detailing OT 10. Do you see this page? Yeah. None of you can read from the stage.

Yeah. You're going to all love it. Wow. That's Judy. That's Judy. And of course, Apploi, the position himself as the new leader of Scientology, because he who holds the tech in Scientology holds the power, or that's what Broker so naïvely believed.

That's what Musk thought when he bought Twitter, and then he's like, why am I not getting more imprints on my tree? Exactly. Well, this may have been true in Hubbard's day that he who holds the tech holds the power. Sure. But what Broker didn't realize was that Ms. Kavich had already changed the game. Actually, Ms. Kavich was a man of the 80s who had long since understood that he who

holds the corporate structure holds the power. And when it came to structure, Ms. Kavich had a hell of a lot more power than Pat Broker. By this point, Ms. Kavich had his minions in the financial wing of the ACI. He had most of the guardians office and nearly all of the Commodore's messenger service. And that's not even to mention the ex-attorneys. Yeah, like Wolverine. Yeah, cool. Wolverine Rabinowitz.

Also, Wolverine is 5'3". Yes. Interesting. Yeah. Very interesting indeed. Yes. Indeed. Ms. Kavich, the Wolverine of cult theaters.

Yeah, he is. I'd put him there. I could see him going berserk. Yeah. Pat Broker, meanwhile, he had none of this. He only had mysterious pages that no one had actually seen detailing new OT levels. And he had a claim that he was in telepathic communication with LRH from beyond the grave. He's just saying stuff.

He's just saying, he's saying, I've been telepathic, well, not from beyond the grave, because, of course, LRH is not dead. He's telepathically communicating to L. Ron Hubbard's spirit. Great. Yeah. The only real-world card that Pat Broker had was that his wife was in charge of the religious technology center. But again, the RTC was mostly about the tech, not the structure.

And by 1987, Ms. Kavich had seized control of that as well. No romance, no adventure. He understood that it's like, it's played out already. All of the genuine, quote-unquote, whatever you'd call the intentions of LRH, all of the magical properties, everything we've learned from the LRH series, the Jack Parsons series, all of that work of the ritual magic, but like, boiled into this system. He said, fuck that. It's all about who controls the wallet.

Wow. So he really made it just corporate. Yeah. Yeah. Less fun. Less fun. That's all the matter of Flag Order 3879, which named the Brokers, not David Ms. Kavich, as loyal officers.

So Ms. Kavich took LRH Hubbard's advice and went on the attack. Never defend, always attack. See, Pat Broker had taken up residence at the ranch where LRH Hubbard had died. And from there, Pat figured that he could direct Scientology from afar. But Pat being isolated meant that Ms. Kavich could spread rumors. Specifically, Ms. Kavich said that Pat was a drunk who spent all of his time traveling the country buying exotic animals for the ranch. Again, it's fucking weird.

He's just saying shit. It's just not such a weird thing to say about somebody. And it sticks though. Yeah. It just accused him of being Tiger King. Yeah. So with Broker's reputation tarnished, Ms. Kavich gathered his most trusted allies, which included future defectors, Mike Reinder and Marty Rathbott.

Together, this group stormed Broker's ranch to find and remove the only small piece of power Pat had left, the new OT levels. With an actual goon squad surrounding the ranch, all of them with walkie-talkies ready to rush in. With any luck, it's our Waco. Well, in his way too, it's like, because it shows his naivete kind of in a way too thinking that all of this was real. Yeah.

Like he has the secret papers of LRH Hubbard, where it's like, you know that he doesn't. Yeah. Where you just write other papers. He's written a lot of papers. Well, Ms. Kavich entered Pat's house and tore out the walls in search of the OT levels. What he found though was far better, especially considering how the new OT levels didn't actually exist. Right.

Instead, David Ms. Kavich found bags of previously unaccounted for cash in the walls. Yeah. Mystery cash. Oh yeah. Where'd that go from? Oh man. He's a contractor. Hey, Mr. Contractor, you left your money by.

Oh God. Why'd you do that? And all Ms. Kavich had to do to get rid of broker forever is turn over that untaxed cash to the IRS. Yeah. They always get their man. Oh my goodness. And with that, Ms. Kavich reached the end game.

Broker had two choices, either turn complete control of the church over to Ms. Kavich or go to jail. He chose the former. And of course, Ms. Kavich couldn't let anything go who's extremely vindictive. He added insult to injury by separating Pat from his wife. Yeah. He destroyed their relationship. He then convinced Annie Broker that she had been a victim of her husband this entire time.

And after she finally agreed, she was relegated to a heavily monitored low authority position by the middle of 1987. Oh my God. And so with all of his rivals out of the way, David Ms. Kavich took full charge of Scientology. And of course, is where we'll pick back up next week when the bad times truly began. That time started, man. He hasn't even begun, dawg. Bad times.

The walls are flush with cash. Wow. Wow. Just because that's the thing, just to have some of that determination, just a little bit of that Ms. Kavich like energy would be so nice. We have a little bit of it. That's why we're doing okay in our business. I know.

Just he's so, he's just so vigorous. Don't go 10% Ms. Kavich energy and then that's a little bit. I want to bottle a little bit, put it in a cologne. Like that'd be nice. Yeah. I don't want the smell of it to be honest. He might smell good. This guy, I think he smells robust.

Yeah. I'm sure he smells of floral scent. Like a woody. A woody. Yeah. I guarantee you, you know, when he comes into the room first with your nose. You sure? Yeah.

But anyway, all right. David Ms. Kavich. Well, that's just the beginning of how he began the process of being the monster he is now. He is. And we feel like we'll come back. We can get into it. Like the very excited for this update because again, it's still going.

They just served. David's Ms. Kavich. They finally got him today. Yeah. So we'll see what happens because they're still going after him shipping a bunch of slave labor to Australia. He's up to his same old tricks that he always was. Well, it's a thing.

And he's still trying to do that. Elron Hubbard should have. They can't saying like, if they can't get me in the court, they can't get me on anything. Right. And today the judge actually ruled like, we've been trying to serve you for a year. Who gives a shit? We're going for it. Yeah.

We're going to serve you. You're just fucking avoiding it. Yeah. We're going to see what happens. Well, speaking of shipping to Australia, we'll be there in August. Yeah. We'll be there August. Second through the 10th.

Should I go through the list? No, it doesn't matter. You know where they are. Go lastpodcastonleft.com. Take a look at all of our dates in Australia. The first week of August, we can't wait to fucking see you. It's going to be great. We're going to do a live side story to the Fine Arts Theater in Beverly Hills, April 8th.

I got those tickets up on my shows. We'll put it up in the last podcast, socials as well, and we're also going to New Zealand too. Not just Australia. Oh yes. Yeah. Yeah. We're starting in Auckland.

Yeah. We're rockin' and reeling in Auckland, New Zealand. There's a power vacuum. We might become leaders. That's finally. You guys want, you guys want some new presidentes? Yeah, sure. All right.

Let's do it. Oh, listen. Just hear me out. All right. Corrective Spanx for the government. Everybody in the government gets one Stern Spank. Oh, I thought you meant corrective Spanx is in like, you get like some Spanx. Like the pants.

No, no, no. Paddles and hands. Yeah. Okay. Paddles and hands. All right. They both work. All right, everyone.

Thank you for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail to you. Hail again. My question is to legends. And then. But do your reading. Do your reading.

I don't want you fucking coming up next fucking episode. Explain to me the saying to me you don't understand the clause returns. Okay. Because they are out there for you to read and it's on you to catch up to us. Okay. Yeah. You don't want us in turbulent. You don't want us in turbulent.

It's the only book that schools are allowed to have in their library. Whoa. Commentary. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.