Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 527: Gilles de Rais Part III - Letters to Satan
Episode Date: April 1, 2023This week the boys learn the fate of alleged medieval child serial killer Gilles de Rais, who after hanging up his military career, shifted focus on finding new ways to acquire victims, as well as for...ming his own church, composing an extravagant theatrical play, and dipping his toes into Satanism.
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There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left
That's when the cannibalism started
What was that
Not a doctor at all
Get away from my wife. You know what I realized last episode. Are we recording?
You know what I realized last episode is that when Gilderay, yeah would do his like performance before killing all the children
Right like this is crazy. He's my kid
Play that you would put on you know we dance around and hang them up. It's not good, right? Oh, no
But I just realized upon finishing the Jared Fogel
Documentary you've been a real Fogelhead lately
It's a Fogelhead you really savored it. I mean I developed that thing in a night just to get it over with
Every five minutes, I'd mean Nat would just sit in silence go
I can hear Henry screaming at the TV. How is that a crime?
Understand you want to save her every pound every
We all did because that was before the cramps, right, but I realized him
I'm
showing the pants
That was his Gilderay fucking show that was his show
They got all the kids just been like well look at them pants, and you think about that. It was just big-ass pants
Watching this this whole time. This is it. This is the whole spell. Gilderay had a private army
Flaggins of land
How many miles are flagging
It is flagging is a cup. Okay, how long it takes a fat man to walk across the valley. I don't know the math
All right, I'm not in medieval math worlds, right?
But that's the idea of getting all the kids all frothed up because they're looking how big them pants are
You're like man, I used to fit them pants. I could play in them pants
Yeah, and then you end up playing in it. Jared from Subway certainly got the kids all frothed up great assessment there
Welcome to the last podcast of the left everyone hangin out with Henry and Marcus today
We're on to part three and the final gosh darn part of Gilderay
Excellent take a look at these big old pants. Wow look at those pants
So when we last left Gilderay his career as a mass child murderer was in full swing and these murders had gone on completely
Yeah
Yeah, it was only the 1400s
Okay, and these murders and these murders had gone on completely unfettered due to the enormous wealth and power
He'd both inherited from Jean de Crayon and what he'd earned during his time at Joan of Arc side during the Hundred Years War
Which is really why I have been siding with
Gwyneth Paltrow's
Nemesis that you are siding with what is it Sanderson?
Sanderson, the one Terry Sanderson. He's a horrible person
But he said he needed to take down all of these celebrities on these skate slopes because if we don't check these celebrities
They go to their islands and start molesting children and that's when I knew the truth got too much
Gwyneth Paltrow had it shut it all the way down with her fixers her snow-based fixer
And everyone at $3 and just so everyone knows that man
He Henry is not joking that man did go on on the to the stand and say that he had to put a stop to all of this
Pedophile island business, which is why he tacked her with his skis. Well, and of course that is not where a pedophile island is
Pedophiles like warm weather
He really do they do they're they're a lazy buck. It's a good banish herd crowd
Yes, it is now the castles in which Jill committed these crimes looked appropriately evil from the outside
Dracula like fortresses made of gray stone
Constantly surrounded by lightning flashes and thunderbolts wolves
Howling in the night. Ah the children of the night. I'm viewed from you. Say hey, hey. Ah
I am coming
I am coming
Hi, hi
Hi, hi
Why is there a pig there?
Oh, yeah, you're doing all this by the pigs
It's just the man dressed as a pig. Yeah, but inside
Jill DeRay had created a sort of Neverland by way of citizen Kane now if you've ever seen the footage from
Inside Michael Jackson's Neverland remember they took the cameras in there was shown in the finding what leaving Neverland documentary
It was a very Martin Bashir who was a very controversial figure. Let's be honest about that. We can be but if you've seen that
You know that his house was filled to the brim with these terrifying childish artifacts
He had all these gumball machines all those animatronic clowns. Yeah, you know, it's a
It's a temple to molestation. It is. Okay. Well, hold on now gumball machines are not indicative of molestation
Don't malign a gumball gumball machine 20 tell me
One gumball machine in a rumpus room is fun. That's 20 is a systematic grooming mechanism
Because then it's everywhere you go. You've been like, oh, don't worry. He he he wants to come
Oh, you haven't come back. Have a little gummy bear. I'll scratch the scratch when you got distracted
Gumballs are still representative of innocent childhood memories. Sure. Let's not ruin that shall we?
But the weird thing about the house
I don't know if you'll notice this but the fixtures and the wallpaper inside Michael Jackson's house. It was very suburban
It was like old lady gross what kind of makes you feel like to be honest like you're at a Nana's house
Yes, exactly. And gilderay's castles were much the same way except he had decidedly more adult taste because he was after all
He was trying to impress fellow nobles. He was not trying to seduce children
Yeah, he didn't do any of the pant stuff for the kids
seduction
Each room was hung with gold cloths that cost 80 coins each 80 gold coins
That's a lot. That's a lot. Oh, we gotta give a dragon 80 good 80 gold coins. There's like a witcher
They gotta go rescue a princess and then next thing, you know, you got curtains, I guess
You don't give any gold coins. They need to
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should not run it up. I'm sorry. No, I'm playing persona 5 royal
It's all in yet. The villagers give me dragon. They give me gold coins. It's a fine item out of breath
Well, these rooms were all filled with fine furniture painting statues books and precious manuscripts
And gil kept a near constant employment of jugglers singers and actors to keep him entertained
Well, this is the issue, right?
Um, this is where we get to the Harvey Weinstein part of our story last week. Obviously, we're seguing
We're going from a fogel to a Weinstein. This is where we see how but this is to me
Seeds that he's dropping that shows that he's guilty. This shows that what he is creating is he has jugglers around
Yeah, it's just like it's the 15th century equivalent of having a tv in every room. It's
You're gonna see that it doesn't stop there, right? I do like the idea of throwing a shoe at a juggler
So it changes channel
Yes, that would be fun chainsaws to the chainsaw channel
But it's the idea of surrounding yourself with an entertainment mechanism
That makes you look far more fun and engaging and interesting than you should be
And the fact that you are offering but you'll see as it escalates
I'm gonna need some evidence like the Gwyneth Peltrow trial
I I'll bring up an animation because I think it costs 50 grand to make one of those
I feel like peacock is an actor hulu. That's a juggler netflix. That's going to be your what was the other thing singer
All of these are poor
Poor replacements for the juggler and the end this thing. I know but i'm just saying you have three different channels to work with
Well, gil also kept an open house to nobles and commoners alike at whichever of his 24
Residences where he happened to be reciting where anyone could partake of good food or wine
This was seemingly a christian principle that he learned from his time with jonavark
But it also helped with local morale. It was a bribe basically. Yes. That's what i'm saying
Yeah, but as we sit again and again during episode two
One of the few things that jonavark and gildere actually shared was a love of the theatrical
Although gil's theatrical impulses weren't confined to the battlefield like they were with jon or to his later career in the theater
Yes, now is when the show begins
Almost before we get to the show we have to get to the pedophile church
I don't want that now. This is to me the ultimate example of why he is guilty
Hmm. Well to perhaps give himself a bit more of a jonavark sheen gildere founded his own
Extraordinarily swanky church
It was however also a cover another funnel for innocent victims
So gil cheekily named it the chapel of the holy innocence now like it to place this in time
Remember that they've you know, they fought all the wars technically gildere should be a hero amongst this countryman
But jonavark though, we know is currently being buried. They don't like she was executed out of the trail
They wanted to keep a fucking tight lid on this jonavark story because they're trying to basically separate themselves
From this mythos the idea that we owe things to this heavenly woman that may or may not be an agent of god
blah blah blah
But gildere at that time probably should have been viewed as somebody who fucking you want to be around
But we now know that he has been utterly kind of kicked out of all these spaces
He's good. They kind of give him a perfunctory little position on some board somewhere
But mostly he's just kind of like being kept away from these important stories
Well, the thing is he starts this church of the innocence
Everybody knows that he's this weird dude who's spending like he's already certain hemorrhage money, right? He's not hits
It's like it's his family's money, which is kind of a complicated thing at the time period
It's complicated. Yeah, because it's all like it's it's his but it's not his
It's like you're a chunk of a country and so you spend money
like on stupid shit is
Emptying the coffers of a gigantic like system metropolitan system. And so he's already doing it when he starts
Honestly, I would say the system is more agrarian
And that means when you tie your shoes professionally, that's equestrian. Ah very good
We're great here
But then he started the church of the holy innocence and he wanted it to be an official church the thing is the Vatican does
Not lightly give that because mostly you need a priest to do that
You need somebody who's actually connected someone to the church infrastructure
He had none of that and he started this church of the holy innocence and everyone's like
Why are you doing this? Why are you making this and it's was freaking people out?
And this is the reason why
Well with this chapel Gio would both recruit beautiful young boys as was his want
And he would also simultaneously satisfy his love of ecclesiastical music
Specifically Gio loved the hot pipes of yore
To the extent where he had a portable organ made which took only six people to carry. This is not bad portable
This is Marcus's dream. Yeah
Oh, we'd love to have someone who carried like six guys who carried an organ
Well, like if I could have an organ on tour and then a man who could just play organ for me at all times
You want that? Yeah, this is your life
It would make him happy. I don't have a big organ. I want one pair of innocent big pants
Oh, you have a bunch how rokers mean?
Yep, you did have pairs of innocent big pants, but you burned all torched them you torched your big pants
And they burned for days. I'm sure they did
Well out of the 30 people who ran the chapel of the holy innocence
Most had been collected by Gio during his travels
And many had been recruited because of their combined abilities of keeping their mouth shut
And their willingness to do anything for money. This is a group of criminals. Yeah
Each one was dressed in the finest clothing trailing robes of scarlet lined with squirrel fur
At the time was quite fancy
Oh
Wow, that's a that's incredible. Oh, wow. Are you wearing possum today? How do you know what playing dead?
I think at the time squirrels are not quite the rats of the park that they are now
They're not rats now
You're anti squirrel. I'm not anti squirrel since day one anti pigeon anti squirrel
I'm sorry marcus. I know you're honestly. I know that you again precious breaths today
Yeah, I'm precious breath and you're attacking. You're adorable squirrels are not rats squirrels are adorable
But squirrels are also very aggressive when you're in the park
Squirrels are the baseball players of the small animal world where they get a lot of ass and they're always on the road
They really do. They really do. I mean, I love it when I see a squirrel in my backyard
But I do you remember the central park squirrels could be quite aggressive. Oh, yeah, don't nibble at you
Don't fuck your wife. Oh, yeah, especially during covid. Jesus. Those squirrels are mean
I feel like nature to the indictment on your weakness
Because they're squirrels and you're a man that the squirrel can really destabilize
So
Well additionally the services were held in the most opulent church then in existence
Which is saying quite a bit when we're talking about the catholic church in the 15th century. Wasn't this like kind of peak almost peak catholic
I mean, they were running the damn world
Times the catholic church and this is peak waste for the catholic church as well
This is to me. This is like the equivalent if I like in a modern america if I went and like
Like opened up my own rogue mcdonald's like and I just like and he did all the same signage
Yeah, like mcdowell's like if I open my own mcdowell's but then like the main function of my mcdonald's was the funnel children
To for me to have sex with right like it would be like that we're like the church is like
What hey, listen
We don't care if you're fucking these kids. They really didn't because we they didn't but hey, you didn't get a permit
For this
Yeah, that's not good. That really was the whole thing. Nobody cared that he was killing children
What they cared about was that he hadn't consulted catholic authorities and the pope was double pissed because zeal had appointed himself as bishop
It's really and the thing is so it's really weird at the time period. That's that's like the key here is that it's one of those
were everyone's is like
Hey, bro. Hey, hey, hey, you know like with michael jackson. They're like
You we thought you'd be putting out like an electronic album. Why are you outfitting this teddy bear room?
Well, what did you do get himself a big hat?
How do you make yourself bishop? You just go?
I'm bishop. Yeah, that's all you gotta do. That's all you gotta do
Trust him just as much as bishop dolin that mother fucker is always at the Met Gala. He's covered in gold chain
I think oh, oh yeah, oh yeah, timothy alone. No
Fuck him. He's demonic. Yeah, you call yourself a bishop
I think you're illegally allowed to call yourself a bishop if you say amen when you come on the back of a child
Oh my goodness
We can use that
bad
And with that zeal moved himself from the realm of nuisance
To real problem and he made the first enemy that actually had the power to help bring him down the church
Big enemy to have. Oh, yes. I mean, it's more like
Why why?
You know why I do this? I mean why are you the word hubris? Yes applies quite a bit
But of course yield array wasn't satisfied with the pageantry of the catholic church to satisfy his theatrical needs
Jeal was about to enter the world of entertainment
Using his relationship with Joan of Arc as the bridge. Let me entertain you. No, I let me make you smile
It's okay, honey. He's an actor. You can trust him. Yeah, you're coming on my wet knees
Oh god, because it's it's flop sweat. Yeah
But like any celebrity worth their salt
Jeal actually forced one of his servants to act as his body double
Oh, it's my only the only thing I have a body double or have a body double. It's cool to have a body double that goes out and does
Shit. Yeah. Yeah discarding the servant's old name whatever it may have been
Jeal began calling his double
Ray the area. Oh, what does that mean? It's just kind of you just call him like I think it
Little ray little ray. Yeah, I mean the little ray ray. I have no idea what it means. That's my little boy
Little ray. What's my little ray?
Jeal too. That's how you're right. Jeal too
That was before they understood the power of the sequel
But then all of a sudden once you get to quanta mania
Starts to burn out. I agree with that
And he dressed him in appropriately splendid clothing when Dorae needed a substitute
This gave jeal a fun game to play because when ray le erio played jeal in public
Jeal could be both actor. Oh and spectator. Oh, do you remember michael jackson's halftime show where there was three michael jackson
So it's one of the best halftime shows of all time. He shows up on the megatrons
He comes out of nowhere out of the smoke
Weirdly like send a chill up my spine because it's actually very similar. Yeah
That halftime show was amazing. Say what you want. That's very yeah
That halftime show was good. He kept trying to blame the man in the mirror, but it was the man in the bedroom
But it is it's really scary because in my mind I'm seeing like a psychological like this is like talented mr
Ripley shit where it's like he's gone so far into his world of his own fucking fantasies
He's a bishop. He's a leader of an army. He's a multi multi millionaire
And now he's a producer and just the idea of sitting back and like
It's puffing on something and watching yourself
Perform as yourself like do weird things. It's cool, but it feels like a david kronenberg movie. Yeah
Yeah, I mean it's scary and I would be like whoa should have done that up there other me
Yeah, you suck. Hey other me you're really fucking blowing it
But even though most of his life was fun games and child murder at this point
Every once in a while gil would have to attend to his military duties as marshal of france
Which had sort of lost its lostor since he'd discovered that his real taste for blood could only be satisfied by a younger vintage
Oh lord
Yeah, I gotta have a crepe keeper moment every once in a while. No
Only every once in a while marcus in no way is it constantly your life
No, every now and again. I gotta be a little weird
Okay, marcus
You could be a little weird once in a while
See when gil was asked by we had to do with a fucking mandate on the stream without him
It was marcus's videos. We just did a live in your brain
Crawling around and that's super. Yeah, just a woman covered in honey for some reason. That's fine though. He was amazing
Who's amazing then that was like you I you're lucky. I didn't show the one where she covered herself in newtala
I'm gonna see I would have seen that was amazing
See when gil was asked by his cousin
George de la trimoire
To help with a siege by the burgundian armies
It's gil for the first time simply told George de la trimoire
That he didn't have the liquid assets on hand to raise an army usually gils up and adam
Of course because that was his favorite thing on the face of the planet was to go to war. Not anymore
But now he's got he's got hot pipes. He's organizing. He's got a fucking I mean
You know not to be anything grooming kids takes time. Well, he's not really grooming anything
He's also doing other things basically. He's happy. Yeah, I feel like that doesn't
Make I mean
Objectively
That does not make for the best general or warrior. You have to be kind of miserable
A little bit. You have to be someone unsatisfied. He's too satisfied. He's too happy. Yeah
Comedian at his whim
Well, finally like George de la trimoire. He said fuck it like I'll pay for it. Just send your men
I'll pay your men. Wow, but gil he took the money and he sent his brother renais in his place
Because I mean this guy did want gil because gil was a brilliant military commander
But gil just went home
Then their burgundians wiped the floor with his brother renais because renais was a shitty commander
He was anywhere near as good as gil. So they killed him. He didn't he wasn't killed is just he lost a lot of men
He lost them on the head. Yeah, you're a loser
Get out of here. Yeah, you need to do the thing in crusader kings three where they the two the two groups go
And they attack each other and the numbers go slowly down. It's almost like you were in vietnam
I feel it every day. Wow
But to gil deray none of this mattered at all weird see by this point military life had become boring and noble life
Had become double boring. Okay. All gil wanted to do was murder children run his fake church
And of course produce incredibly lavish theatrical plays whose cost would have dwarfed even the largest of modern hollywood budgets
Except for avatar two. Yeah, I would actually I would put it on par with avatar two
I really would like that movie. It's I don't want sure sure. I don't watch the avatar
It's definitely a great way to pass time in hospice. Yeah, I mean honestly, that's what I plan on doing watching all of these things when I'm dying
That'll be great if he just didn't
Murder the kids everything else is fine. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Russell brand right now
If he could start a church wood and it would be full of some of the dumbest attractive people that's ever lived
It is just going past
Accenture because that's the thing they had they had like they understood for a while like the idea of him opening his house and having a
never-ending store of food and entertainment in booze like they're like she was crazy
He's crazy. But then like after a while like when he built this church that they're all like again like just straight up like
You know, you're ruining a for all the rest of us and truly
Institutionally given in pedophiles, right? Like this thing that you're doing is like blowing this up to a level that none of us want
Like this is a really gross and this is for 1400s 14 like their version of like this is really gross
Yeah, yeah, you gotta be pretty gross. Yes to make them think you're doing something gross. Yes. Yeah. Yeah
Well, I think a part of the gilderay is innocent crowd
I think part of the reason why they want him to be innocent because if he's not a child murderer
Then he's a great. He's a fantastic historical character. Oh, he's like hilarious. Like he's a hilarious eccentric
He's like he's Joan of Arc's like fun best friend. Like, oh, let's go party
I mean, is anyone is anyone getting like a divorce over this?
Like do people be like, no, I'm a gill head. I I bow and like I mean there are people like ending relationships
There are people who gives a fuck. No, it's well
There are people that have dedicated their entire lives to this very subject
And then they wake up one day and they realize they're 90 years old and what have they done?
Absolutely
I I personally I have respect for those people will get to that later on. I have respect for someone who
I love their life to history and knowledge. I have literally yes, but you know what?
I love this because you know what I love when I love the one reason why weekends or historical topics in my love
Said it's all about perspectives. It is because you can say more offensive things because it happened 500 years ago
It's a bonus
The gills medium of theatrical expression was the mystery play mystery, but it's not
It's not it's not it's not fun mystery. No mystery plays who did it?
No, no, oh, you know what I like to do is be like you did it like right when it starts
No back then the word mystery and miracle were more or less interchangeable
So these are stories taken from the bible. They were stories taken from they were also taken from secular history
Just so long as that history involved a miracle from god. Yeah, because that was like the juice
That's what you get. That's what butts and seats. I mean, that's a lot of great stories. So yeah work well on the stage
I suppose. Yeah, well grandiose spectacles with enormous stages full of color and great movement
Mystery plays had scripts that reach beyond 500 pages and they often took a week to perform
These were the summer blockbusters of the 15th century. That's typically these were like the avengers movies
They're like three and a half hours long and well pretty cool and people arrive
And everyone comes and they would and they would play for days specifically. It's like wrestlemania that I'm going to this weekend
Who cool saturday and sunday
That's a whole event and on tonight. There's it is friday. There's an event, but I'm not gonna go
Yeah, if we want to if we want to be classy about it. It's sort of like uh,
Wagner's ring cycle, which is like three days wrestlemania. It's the performance in front of the gods. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so
WrestleMania is classy
You don't think wrestlemania is classy
This is the man he would
Performed at wrestlemania performed Cindy. Yeah, he shook. Uh-huh, which is a performance
Cindy Lauper
Uh-huh was at a wrestlemania. She performed at wrestlemania. I remember lu albano was there. He was also a one. Yeah
I remember our undertaker was it. Well, let me let me ask you this. Uh, was val venus at her ever at a wrestlemania
Did he ever do is now paralyzed? Okay?
Can you please was uh, was the godfather?
Did he did was godfather easy was that word though with the word easy said at a wrestlemania?
Oh my god. I didn't know I was dealing with such a fucking elitist. Yeah. He's only got a precious breath breath
What's that new hillary ronald clinton tattoo you have? Yes. Yeah, I was gonna say when he came in with his pussy hat on
I was like, that's fine. He can be like that. He's got mad. I'll head tattooed on his lower back
I do I did and I got it all done this week. I've changed. This is what's changed
Great wrestlemania is a classic event for the record anything ending in mania
At the time the most famous mystery plays had been the mystery of adam about the creation of the universe
And the mystery of the passion, which is of course about jesus's crucifixion
It's a big thing. Yes, man the stations of the cross if you wanted just a good cerebral horror movie
Just the stations of the cross is the best passion of the christ has a christ fantastic horror movie
I mean these mystery plays mystery of adam mystery of the passion. It's like jaws and star wars. Yeah
Yeah, it's the best but gilles grand theatrical production of which he oversaw every aspect from the costumes to the sets was
Les mystères du siège
They are land perfect the mister who shits
Mister who shits
And it's that man right over there. I did it. It's the it turns out the mystery of the siege of orlean
Now he wrote a whole play about him and jonavar taking orlean if you look into I found a really cool
doctorate thesis on the origins of the mystery of this age of idea
Right and what they say is very very interesting is that they're like well of all the other mysteries
There's been a lot of there's documentation
About who wrote it because they're so huge and they also get added to over like a hundred years
Yeah, and this is when this when he was producing this play. There's during a time period when jonavar was as we said before
They were trying to be like
She was a witch we burned her
Which is for like not necessarily this was the side that was pro jonavar, but they just wanted her to go away
They just didn't want to
Over this. I mean we got a king. We don't need a child profit in the mix here
Let's talk about this right focus on the king. Don't focus on jonavar the king. He's the one with divine connections
Yeah, he's doing it. And so what about her laptop?
We do need to look
That is really that's the truth we're not hearing
um, but he uh
So he was putting this out there during a time period where everyone's been like, okay, this is weird, right?
But they were like looking into the origins where this play came from. They have a really hard time
They're like, well, we we have like one version of it
But the one thing that really stood out was that gilderay
Was kind of cut out. Yeah of any sort there's receipts that show that he paid for shit
Yeah, but but all of these people at the time
Kind of like struck his name
From the record. They were all just like he was just some reason not really included in this time period
Especially because they know that in the 10 years after the battle of orla that started to become a little like
A semi unofficial holiday that people would kind of do and this play started showing up and in the gilderay attached to it
And it was just this weird thing where everyone kind of like
Push them on the road. He got kevin spacey is what i'm trying to say is that now
So this is my theory is that they all knew season five of house of cards
Yes, they knew he was so gross one that was weird, but the idea is that he knew that he was so gross
That they were already trying to erase him from history at the time period
Yeah, because they would like they didn't want to involve because again
It was also this like weird touchy thing because the mr. Ray of the sage of our land didn't become official
Until after she was exonerated and then like in the 1450s
Well, this play it naturally featured Joan of Arc in the lead but playing the supporting role was a highly fictionalized version of gilderay
Who appeared as a faithful and devoted servant to Joan of Arc and her godly motivations
Now since mystery plays were so incredibly expensive by their very nature
The investment costs were usually covered by city governments clergy or wealthy private citizens like gilderay
That is the upfront cost. That's the investment that that's your foreign investors
And like today's productions these costs were usually offset by the price of admission
It's more about break and even. Oh, yeah, it is about turning profits because theater
Yes, it is about theater's sake and it's about you and it's promoting your name
Yeah admission however was charged on a sliding scale for the poor it cost one frank to be a groundling
Not bad. I got a couple of franks in my closet right now pull them out
Have them tell a couple of jokes. I'll walk right in those your dead sex slave zombies like your chef Dahmer
You've got Frank Caliendo in your closet. Oh my god. No, I'm John Madden
Whoa, he's everybody. Uh, I'm Bill Clinton
Wow, isn't that good? I was thinking frank from always stunning in Philadelphia. That's fun. Oh sure that's fun
Yeah, that's much more fun than Frank Caliendo. Yeah, Frank Cali. I'm John Madden
He's very talented. Yes
But with gilderay who seemed intent on showing off in every aspect in the production of his own mystery play
He paid for everything and charged nothing for admission
In addition, he gave everyone access to a full buffet of venison
Shuckulent fish. Yes mead and wine for every single performance for five months and everyone's just like
Okay, cool. Three meals. You're gonna do this. And then he ended his gilderay set him behind me like, you know, it's just about
performance
It's about what he's kind of about what we're trying to do. It's about community. It is. It is.
Movies all communally that I come around. I feel like it was a better time to be poor back then, you know, you got all this free food
Maybe it was a better week to be poor. There you go. That's one day might have been nice
That's kind of fun. It's a little hot old succulent fish. Yeah
Like you're still hanging out outside
Little bit venison. I mean, that's a real good cut. That's a good meat. It's a good meat. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, if you hit a deer in Wisconsin, you can you can eat it. Yeah, you can but unless you pop its fucking shitbag inside of it
No, you contaminate all the meat. Yeah, you have to do. Oh, well, that's true
Now in order to raise the cash to pay for all this, Gilles maxed out his credit using his land castles art furniture and books as collateral
Gilles also paid two to three times the actual price for everything he bought
Although it's not clear if he paid high prices as a show of wealth through impatience
Or because he just had no idea how much anything cost. Yeah, I think it was uh, it was if the mom from a recent development
What's a banana cost? $10?
Well, as far as the actual cost of production went
Gilles paid 140 actors with speaking parts while five to six hundred people were paid as extras every single performance
Damn, that's a lot of people. How big was this stage?
Huge, massive, huge. They said they had to build it regularly to like look like they would make it
You know in the in the mystery of the passion you'd have like Christ there and they'd put all the angels
And all the people and you have a guy playing God and you got like, you know a bunch of people sucking on his feet washing his feet
For some reason they're all obsessed with washing his feet
It's metaphorical, I think. Well, it was big enough where they were actually able to show them
Convincingly show movement of armies. That's cool. From like one scene to another. Yeah, I would love to have seen one of these
Like it sounds incredible. It's kind of like what they do at the opera. Mm-hmm a little bit
Yeah, yeah, well every single person every single actor had to be dressed in the most authentic costumes possible
And everything had to be made from the finest cloth
Even if the costume was torn into rags to represent someone who was able to represent a peasant
He would do like what Balanchiaga does Balanchiaga where you take like I think you look like a homeless person
But the whole outfit costs like 15 grand
They're controversial
And honestly why it's actually why it's appropriate
Because she'll raise the Balanchiaga of this entire story. All right
Well, perhaps what was most incredible about these costumes was the fact that Gilles made a rule where every actor
Only wore their costume
Once whoa, then what happened to it?
They would throw it away and make a new one for every single performance
As wasted a lot of money 700 new costumes for every single performance
Wow
Now after months of preparation
Gilles made his debut on May 8th 14 35
Just four years after the death of Joan of Arc when her rise as a hero of the french and her fall as a supposed
Heretic was still a fresh memory. In fact, one could say that Gilles Durey was the first person that recognized Joan of Arc as a martyr
Oh, he definitely put it on the map. Wow. Did he know when the NFL NFL players have to buy their jerseys?
Really? Isn't that crazy? What do you mean? But then also the president, you know, if he goes to the kitchen or she
Goes to the kitchen
They gotta pay for it. What they have to pay for the sandwiches. What are you even talking about? They have to pay for the sandwich
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about how he he was the 700 wardrobe changes that they had every single show. Of course. He had to pay for it
I'm just saying
Do that and if you're if you're the leader of the free world, you also have to pay for your sandwich. You gotta pay for everything on some aspect
Yeah in the kitchen. Where did you hear that this president has to pay for sandwiches? That's a fact. That was from the White House chef
You're talking about the only man who ever did that was probably Jimmy Carter. No, that was the white house chef who worked for
Bill Clinton. I'm just a simple peanut thumb. That's my killer
I put it a little bit out of a little bit. It's more Randy Newman
He's not a president
You're about to do welcome back
I put an IOU in the jaw
That's just nice and tricky for me. Oh my god. Well the reviews for the siege of or lean. Mm-hmm fantastic
It was an absolute hit as far as the story went
Joan of Arc was portrayed as a saint of the highest order while Gilles was portrayed in a fully glamorized version of himself
As her faithful servant because that's how he wanted the public to see him
It is interesting. He made himself kind of the second fiddle
Well, he was only one little character in one chunk of it because it was because he wanted to watch himself
Yeah, and he didn't make himself the most grandiose
But he would be sitting on like an elevated chair amongst the audience like watching his own play just going like
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Well that's how we watch old youtube clips on ourselves on our television and go you're the best comedian ever for seeing
I don't know about that. I don't we have different nights
Well for him, it wasn't about being glorified on stage for him
It was about showing the decadence that he could put on this play in fact
It was a bit more of a
Plus for him to not be portrayed as one of the main characters because it's like oh look at this
I can put on this entire play. It is not about me. It's about John. I just want to make sure that everybody sees
How good John is. No, I think there's something to that because Harvey Weinstein
I just want people to know that it's a Gwyneth Poundtrell. He's got the nice
She's just got a nice couple
But then she's got the badungas coming on now. That's a movie
It's really not that's ruining them. That's ruining the movie. It was more like when we watched page seven and whiz group perform
In brooklyn and we didn't have to do anything and we ate all the cheese in the green room
Yeah, that's how we're like shield array great
There you go because we're like this is even better than performing remember
And we had it but we did have to pay for the food that we ate. Yeah, because that's what a writer is
We always see that makes sense. It took me it all makes sense
It took me years to make the two of you understand that that shit that we get in the writer. We have to pay for that one year
Marcus we knew that
I don't think you did I at first they didn't but then I immediately know I knew it
Well, let's hear an example of some lines that Jules character said in the play. Okay. This is him pledging his service to show
lady
Have no battery. No, no, no, don't it's not racy leota. No
It's Harvey Weinstein. No
I don't want to be Harvey Weinstein. I don't want to be Harvey Weinstein
Yeah, I don't want to do a Harvey Weinstein. Give it more of a row. Give it a French romantic
Why are you going to tell him?
Oh
You must do a horrible man
Lady I have to have no doubt of me
I wish but to do your will
Do my friends and underlangs. No way. Just do it the way you were doing it
And we shall do your will in everything
Oh, I've got to be
Later on in the play
When the other commanders are questioning the wisdom of jones tactics
Jules is shown as her greatest defender basically showing everyone that if it weren't for yield
There would be no zone which is actually true
We should refuse her nothing
And have no doubt the victory since she is at the end
And so with this scintillating dialogue
Let me stare do say they are lame
Ran daily for five
Months every day for five months like billy joel at msg. Dude. That's kind of fun
Oh, yeah glorifying both jone and jille while conveniently leaving out that jille stayed silent
It did nothing during the six months of the trial that was sure to lead to jones execution
Probably actually helped her get caught. Yep. Yeah, but while jille was producing let me stare desilliers. They are lame
I get better every time I say you do and during its entire five month run
It's important to remember that he was also still luring children into castles and murdering them slowly and horrifically that never stopped
In other words yield array's place in the french theatrical world is exactly what qanon followers believe modern hollywood to be
A cesspool of pedophilic child murderers ultimately run by the so-called elite
We do know that there are pedophiles in hollywood. We absolutely know that we know that there are sexual predators in hollywood
We absolutely know that but ritualistic child murder by on the part of tom hanks and oprah might be a bridge too far
Just because their schedules are so packed. Yeah, it's so hard to get them together in one place
You actually get oprah tom hanks and bill clinton in one room. That's a fucking six months
I think they're all the same person
But while the similarities are interesting jille was more of a qanon unto himself
But there was also never any supposed hero working behind the scenes to bring him to justice
No, as a matter of fact everybody's a storm coming
No, and everybody that was around him was somebody who he slowly but surely either
Positioned to be close to him because they were cool with it or they owed him a bunch of money
Like he and they were just kind of or just straight up evil
Yeah, or they had a or they had a stake in gilderay staying in power
I mean in reality nobody around gilderay gave a fuck about anything he was doing just so long as it didn't mess with
Anyone else's power and privilege
Really, there wasn't much of a point to gilderay's excesses decadent and depraved just for the point of being decadent and depraved
Besides gil never worried about the expenditures during the production of his mystery play
Because he believed that all of his money troubles would soon be solved by black magic and alchemy
Oh sweet, honestly, he's not wrong
Oh, I mean, okay. I mean it turned out to be
Yeah
Now gilderay's dabblings in the magical world actually began north of the satanic realm jersey
Very nice
When it came to mysticism gil was introduced to magic by
Joan of Arc who had seemingly used divine powers to defeat the english
Even if those same powers didn't translate to battles against the burgundians. Hey, man, even we know God ain't at 100 percent
You know and not the the burgundians are always going to be in God's favor
Well, that's also both that's part of the magic of it
Is that it was said that just so long as Joan paid fealty to God and listened to the voices
Then she was all always she always won. She always had somebody to save her
But the moment she started going off on her own and not listening to the voices
Then that's when she was captured and killed because that was a problem
You're looking at all the voices and the only thing you want to say to you is like hey
Hey, Joan show me the titties and you're like hey, I got a job. I got a job to do Joan
But while you was seemingly seeing God's intervention in the real world
Which showed him that the supernatural was indeed real he encountered a knight in possession of a grimoire
Wow
Now the books certainly contained information about summoning demons
But to gil the most important entries had to do with the practice of alchemy now remember
This is fucking real practical for real. Oh, this is all sure magic is a practical thing for these people
It reminds me like it's interesting because it's like he's
I'm trying to feel I'm trying to figure out the proper like connection to modern times
Yeah, I couldn't quite figure it out either. It's like it's it's something that like it's frowned upon
It's I don't like short sell in stock. It's something like people who do the crossing over stuff
Or it's like that. It's also people that like, you know political candidates that like
Obviously are probably child molesters that also like join the evangelical groups to kind of like get their support
It's there's something about like him joining forces with a straight up con people
But he's like that will like it's it's another part of his like mania. Yeah, well, let's get briefly into alchemy
Well, for those of you who don't know alchemy was a sort of middle ages frontrunner of chemistry that also combined occultism
Philosophy magic and astrology. It's a lifestyle, baby. Yeah
Now alchemy certainly had other uses but its most famous application was the transmuting of baser substances
Like lead into pure gold and also there is a constant debate about whether or not that was about the is that an allegorical
meaning
But then a lot of them say well the thing is yes, it's allegorical, but only because it didn't fucking work
Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's real. No, that was an allegorical. Yeah, I know I can drink too much
They have sex with you, but it's all just about the fact that it's about simple
Dude, our catholic priest father steve used to talk all the time about how he saw the bread turn into body and flesh
I swear, but I don't think that's true. I think they bought a ribeye
We just covered the fucking story of the woman who lost the toes who's got shot by her husband
And then they made the toes grow back and then they're not showing us the goddamn toes
Show us the toes.com. This would be huge
Show us the fucking toes. Show us the toes
Now medieval alchemists failed again and again in their attempt at such a miracle because I mean even if it was an allegory for some
It definitely wasn't an allegory for gilderage. Oh, yeah
Yeah, but instead of concluding that such a thing was impossible
Alchemists decided that they must be missing some unknown ingredient. Oh, yeah. God damn it. Barry. Did you piss in it?
Yeah, did you spit in it? Yeah, you fuck a virgin last night. No, but honestly, let's redo the whole thing
All those things I was doing anyway
And they ended up referring to the secret sauce as the philosopher stone
Then seemingly for the hell of it
They also decided that the philosopher stone could be used to make a tea or wine that produced an elixir of immortality
Which is where alchemist Nicholas Flamel enters the picture. Supposedly Nicholas Flamel, who was a real guy
He actually existed. Okay. He had discovered the philosopher stone and while for us Flamel is a centuries old figure for gilderay
Nicholas Flamel died when Gio was 14 years old. Yeah, he was right there. He invented alchemy during his lifetime
Yeah, therefore Flamel and the philosopher stone were within living memory and Flamel had been French to boot local guy
Nicholas had made his wealth speculating in real estate, which gave him the appearance of bottomless pockets
Man, that has been around since time since building
Since lamb
I'm not really liquid right now. Yes indeed real estate a tale as old as time
Yes, and since Flamel also dabbled in alchemy a rumor started that he had found the philosopher stone
That's why you have bottomless pockets. Wow
This is like when you see someone just being like, why do they always on a boat on instagram?
Like why are you always on a boat? Why are you always like at the time?
Sometimes they photoshop and sometimes they're yachting. Oh, I know
Well, this is highly interesting to gilderay because he wanted to live life the way he'd been living it in every aspect
So he needed Nicholas Flamel's magic rock that created gold. Of course he did
You've now built a probably, you know 100 million dollar church to molest people
And then you've also put on a play
What about the theater? Yes, he put on a play which is technically very positive. That's very positive
He put on the play hundreds of millions dollars. What is this? You are hemorrhaging money
And you are an unrepentant child molesting psychopath. That's also not good at work
Yeah, and so you're sitting there being a little like, oh
There's this is not going to continue. You like you literally you must have a magical rock. Yeah
And I know that the philosopher's stone is not necessarily a magical rock. It's a word for a substance
Or it's an allegory, but for our purposes is a fucking magic rock. It might as well be
Yeah, see the thing about gilderay that's often misunderstood when people call him a satanic pedophile child killer
Is that the satanic part of somewhat of an exaggeration? Hey, let's let's let's leave satan this alone
I mean it definitely makes him sound more ghoulish and interesting, but it's not his main gig
Sure, but another way he did not get into black magic and satan because it was evil and rad like other
Occult murder torture killers like richard ramirez and bob burdella instead gilderay got into the game for money
That's it. Yeah, that's the only reason why there's so much money in that
He was just like well, I've tried being an army for hire, but then I have to travel
I try to do all of this, but I just spend money. I'm not stop making any money. I don't know why
Start charging money for this for the theater
But then everyone won't want to everyone won't think I'm the greatest guy in the world
Because that's what you because remember how burning rain offset that was his his ultimate
His ultimate flaw was that he just wanted to be a good guy to everybody
Yeah, and he just didn't know and if they wanted me to be the go-to guy
So I needed to be the go-to guy for them. He cared too much. He cared too much. He worked too hard
So what gil needed more than anything was cash to spend so he could maintain his fantasy of unlimited privilege
The whole thing he of him trying to recreate his childhood. So he pawned properties
He found castles sometimes he sold entire towns at fire sale prices in order to get cash as fast as possible
To buy more stuff and to pay for more theatrical productions. That'd be a fun pond stars episode a town
Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm gonna need to call in my expert and it's Barbara
From Shark Tank. She's horny. She's so fuck you right now, dude
She is so horny. I just want to be left alone by him. He's in real estate
But speaking of gil's productions
It seems as if he already understood some pretty heavy magical principles
Even while he was producing they missed a introduce the age they are laying
Or at least he was trying to figure out some magical principles
So he's been theorized that gil was attempting to magically invoke the spirit of Joan of Arc through the mystery play
Don't know why it's just been uh speculated. Well, because what do we know about to help us?
I mean, that is the thing that is the very old concept of kind of creative
But also it's just the maybe kind of a hope
I mean, he might just miss his friend and he might you know, because that's those were his best time
Those were his best years. They really were his best years turned his time with Joan where that was the peak of his life
And you know a lot of serial killers too. They also say like I need someone to stop me
Why won't somebody stop me and I think maybe he thinks if Joan of Arc comes back then he will stop
And he'll be a better person. He won't fucking murder children anymore. Okay
Well, it's been theorized that he of course was trying to invoke the spirit of Joan of Arc
And through his studies
He'd learned that a requirement for magic was that every material used in a magical ritual had to be quote-unquote
Virgin never used before but what these people did not know if this is true that they were all part of some super ritual
Like some big old thing is that that's technically also against magical ritual principles as it is
You're gonna go. You're technically jeal. Yes. You're gonna go to that. That's what he needed. That's what he needed somebody like me
You're gonna pull technical. You're gonna pull a reddit card. It didn't work, did it?
I'm gonna pull a technical card. Well, technically this is 15th century magic. You're talking more 18th century magic 19th century magic
You're talking order the golden dawn magic. This hermetic teachings came from somewhere, didn't they?
You know guys, we'll discuss it later
Over a drink. Well, this is why jeal insisted that the costumes be made anew for every performance
Because to use any object secondhand or to use anything that had been used in non magical endeavors was to court failure
If not outright disaster
But jeal he didn't care about spending insane amounts of money because by the time his spending habits had reached their heights
He'd already come to believe that he was just a hair away from discovering the secret to unlimited wealth through alchemy and black magic
You know what you know what this is man? This is Jeffrey Epstein dumping his money into Harvard scientists trying to live forever
Like trying to isolate his cock and to move into space like it's that shit. Yeah, and this by this is old magic
This is grimoire magic. This is merlin magic
This is not allister Crowley and his fucking Ponzi friends having imaginary spell spats and overpriced london flats
These guys less less butt plugs. Maybe oh these guys thought they had god on tap
Yeah, and the devil on tap more importantly. Yeah, oh on draft
Yeah, and that's the things that they these grimoires that were being written like this is a grimoire that was written like last week
You know, these were transcribed grimoires. This is before the printing press
So only the most wealthy could afford and so you would you would say then maybe admit that
Writing those grimoires might be more difficult than dictating them then
Yeah, writing them that coming up fall into his little fucking trap the person who writes
It's the person who thinks of it. Yeah, the person that just fucking writes it is basically a typewriter
There is a word for that. It's called ascribe
Yes
Indeed ascribe without ascribe who gives a fuck what you're saying?
Because they have to write it all down. That's you. That is your entire life. What is just talking and no one writing it down
That's what you and I do. Yeah, that's you'll write down my words in their mind
So you're saying they're doing the hard work of writing down the words of their mind that you're while you're just
They hear my words like Frodo saw the ring
Memorized they put it in their brains
Because of the way I've learned how to speak
I lost your this is
It is difficult to write. Yeah
You know, I know you know, I know
Well sometime around 1436 gil was told of a goldsmith who claimed to know the secrets of alchemy
So gil found the man gave him a single silver piece and told him to transmute it to gold
Instead the goldsmith took the piece
Locked himself in a room
God drunk
passed out
Woke up and absconded with the silver. Technically. That's just the you got. That's a consultation
It's hilarious. I just like that that's to happen. That'll happen now. Well, I just love I love this again
It's all like with the same brains. They have the same brains that we have. So yeah, it's just
Surrounded by conmen. Oh, yeah
And this was only the first of many many men to hoodwing gilderay under the guise of teetium one sort of magic or another
But even though his first foray was a bust gil was tantalized by the possibility of transmutation
So he got two of his priests at the chapel of holy innocence who usually phoned them boys
They said put that on hold. Okay. I got other people to get me boys
I want you guys on finding me magicians
You know what that means that that's a decision that came from a fresh ejaculate
Because that's a clear
Clear-headed decision. Yeah, I guess so well the first priest was Eustace Blanchet
And the second was father André Boucher
Bobby Boucher. Oh, yeah
He'd recently brought gil a nine-year-old boy to rape and murder in exchange for a really nice horse
Big pants. That's the big pants that time. Yeah, that's that. All right. And so through Blanche Boucher and gil's cousin Gilles de Siais
De Ray
Begins got a lot of friends a lot of friends a lot of friends and in all rhymes
He began interviewing potential magicians. Oh my god. I want to spend fun terrible lobby. Yes, indeed
One known only as trumpet later claimed that he had instructed gil on how to sign a pact with the devil using his own blood
First thing you do is you gotta pop open the skin, right? Did you sign your John Hancock right on this slip of paper?
John Hancock's not gonna be around for another simple. No, he's not and it's herbie Hancock
Funny. Yes, indeed. So these guys are just killing a bunch of rabbits in front of him and doing a bunch of tricks with doves and cards and stuff
They probably got some of that fun powder that you throw into a fire and you know, yeah
Are you afraid of the dark? Yes
But gil he later insisted during his trial that he never sold his soul to the devil
For power or for rich. I mean, that's really not even why are we talking about that?
Because there's so many other things like there's tangible things that he did that were really wrong
It's interesting because it's how they frame it. It's how they frame what he did. Meanwhile, he's just straight up being like
No, no, no, no, we never fucking conjured up the devil. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get him on the phone?
I have to we got to talk to his other we got another big time here. Let's just get to the the charges, shall we?
Yeah, we'll talk. We'll definitely talk about that later
But yeah, his whole thing was that from his perspective God was definitely real. He didn't want to go to hell
He did fear for his immortal soul. So he figured that he'd do the same thing as grandfather
Jean de Crayon did is that at the end of my life? I'll just say give me a mulligan a mulligan
Fucking forgive me God. It's built in. I've I've I repent forgive me God and he'll go straight to heaven
And then in a few hundred years, he'll welcome Adolf Hitler and say, how you doing?
Honestly, they're all hanging out right now. They're all hanging out right now. Isn't that fun to think about?
Well, as far as the no magic rule went gil figured that he could find a back door
To the powers of sorcery and alchemy without selling his soul like a common
He's trying to he's trying to cheat this the whole thing is a cheat. He's trying to do a life
Cheating
Yeah, it's all he went comes down to it. It's about negotiations. You want to get in there?
I still don't know this impression. It's Harvey Weinstein. I don't even think it sounds like you look at it. Watch his interview
I see the ugly man that he is. I went I made sure this morning. I boiled two hard-boiled eggs to know what his dick looked like
You know, it's incredible how many men in this city look like him
Hey, it's called the producer's body. It really is like every time I drive out to my doctor
I have to drive through Beverly Hills and I always see a weird fat man in his front yard talking to somebody
Always looks like Harvey Weinstein. It's becoming me. I'm going to eventually turn into that, but it'd be a good one
That's the problems of when I drive with my top down in the car. It's never women to check it out
It's only always some other fat man. There's just like nice with a beard. Well, sometimes it's just five o'clock
Let's not expound on it too much further
But with each magician Geo met the interview usually came with some sort of demonstration of power or the appearance of power
And while most of these magicians were allegedly and technically successful and showing they made show
They did make a little bit of show. They also weren't what Geo wanted. No one magician who came through the foge
Attempted an invocation that scared Geo so much that he locked himself in a room
Sat himself down in a magical circle of protection and refused to leave. This is like it's like when I took acid
It's seen as bachelor party. It's very similar. It was scary. Something was going on
I don't know if it's a Madame Belvatsky style like they had helpers like people coming in and out, but
But gilderay was extremely superstitious
And as he went through these processes of finding these magicians like each one of them scared the shit out of him
and he so weird because
This is there's a tension. There's a tension of him understanding
That I I am gonna have to go all the way to the top
To become innocent at the end of my life. Yeah, all right with another magician
Gilles de Siais Gilderay's cousin. He was so scared that he jumped out of a window
Later these are good shows. Yeah, Mike Berbiglia. Yeah later
It was also said that whatever that magician had summoned it beat him severely and wounded his face for bothering him
Oh my I think it was just some guy. Yeah, it really could have been but that was the least of the unfortunate
Incidents to befall some of the magicians that came into gilles employ one he drowned before he even got to the castle
He drowned on the way to the castle drowned him or he just happened to drown. He just happened to drown. Yeah, man
It was a different time. Yeah, yeah, another one died immediately and almost cartoonishly as soon as he walked into the castle
So one of those things were like they opened the door and he just fucking
I didn't mean while gilderay was like he's no way. This is symbolic. Yeah. Yeah. Wow
The closest it seems that any of these early magicians came to summoning something was when a man named Jean de la rivière
Was instructed to summon the devil presumably as a test camera test. Yeah
And supposedly after the magician went into the forest and fought surround for a bet. Sure. You'll heard
a clang some kind of Foley going on
Oh, what is that then well the magician then entered and said that he'd seen a demon in the shape of a leopard no shit
No fucking shit. No shit, dude. No shit. It's all leopard, but
A leopard or a leopard leopard promise didn't want to talk to me
He just walked on by
A cat called it a demon and then said he did his job. Leopards are stuck up
Yeah, well, that's where they are. He knew that it was a demon because it gave him a disdainful look. It's a cat
Yeah, that's what cats do. Yeah, that's most of their life. No, it's the equivalent of eye rolls. Yeah
If cats could I mean, oh big cats they'll they'll if they were allowed near our nuclear facilities
They would knock all the nukes off the shelf. They'd be horrible. They would and but today is that you always like, okay
Okay, okay fine fine
So they went back to the castle and got drunk and the next day the magician was like, hey, gil give me give me 20 gold coins
I just need 20 gold coins
Hey, I just need 20 gold coins
I'm good for it. Yeah, I'm good for it. You're just fucking 20 silver coins. You make it gold. No
You know one thing is I need some gold as an example. Yeah, so I can show you silver what I need to be
So just fine here take it and the guy just fucking left never you never saw him again
God, it is just this is you know what it feels like
The way david spade describes his home
But he was like what he was talking about because he got robbed several times
It's like all I do is I let these strange women in on my house
Like I don't know who's in my house and it just feels like that where you gotta be careful people in and out of his home
Now that guy had obviously been a scam artist and it's almost positive that every single one of the magicians who came to bilk
Money at a gilderay were in one way or another a charlatan
Oh, yeah, yeah, pretty much if you could get gild to even half-heartedly say like wow
Then you were guaranteed at least a couple of gold coins. All right. I can make them say wow
Yeah, how are you gonna make gilderay say wow?
But while magicians slid in and out of gild's life for at most a few days at a time
A magician named françois prélati settled in for the long game. Oh, yeah
Yeah
vivid brilliant
Beautiful and charming prélati
At first studied to be a priest
But claimed to have mastered black magic and alchemy instead by the age of 20 meaning he knew the rules of both sides
Oh, yeah, yeah, he could he could appeal to every part of gild's spiritual journey. Okay
By the time he met gilderay prélati claimed to be an accomplished necromancer
Who had called satan into his service many times over the course of his career tell me more
Oh, but these days prélati claimed to be working exclusively with one demon. Yeah, I got a contract
Yeah, I'm kind of one guy one
Prélati claimed that with the help of a fritch doctor named Jean de Fontenay
He had summoned a demon who appeared as a handsome man in his mid 20s wearing a red cloak named
baron
Supposedly for the paltry price of a chicken a dove or a pigeon
Baron could you try to make a joke there? No, I mean
Yeah, he said poultry if he said poultry poultry price. He said poultry price poultry price not
I wasn't trying to make a pun there. I thought you were making fun. I wasn't. Thank you for thinking of me though
That is a price of a chicken. I don't want to walk away. The poultry poultry price. I would have walked out. I would have walked out
The poultry price of poultry exactly that would have been better. Yeah
Dammit, but pigeons pigeons not necessarily poultry the pigeons squab think about what I would write when you write
Hahaha
Just a bird baron could be summoned at Prélati's will which was a claim that both baffled and impressed gilles de rey
Let's just think I love birds. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay. Call me a nest
Gilles had come to believe that he just had bad luck summoning demons
Hey, but Prélati told him that the demons were actually ignoring him because de rey had a bad reputation
Amongst the damned as a man who promised much to the pit but never delivered
It's like when you're when you're trying to talk to somebody who's on like farmer date.com
Maybe like listen
You need to put the hunting picks
Up top
For a farmer I'm looking at your old like summon demon tender bullshitter
You need to put a couple of these bird picks
Up top because demons love these fucking birds. So the demons are mad that he's not doing enough bad stuff
No, that he's well, they're not given enough
They're not even that the what are they given enough is that he told them that
Supposed that he told them that he would give them something and that he never followed
Yeah, it was a demon one. It could have been a bird. It really seriously could have been nothing more than a pigeon
What's the thought? Well, Prélati, yeah, what is going on? Why are these demons like this?
It's about a demon valentine's day that I'm fucking missing. You kind of like you do sort of need to you have to court
You have to court these demons if you want them in there. You got to give out gifts. You have to do these things
See this is the issue
Kissel it's about stopping and thinking for just a moment for someone outside of yourself
You know who'd love this magnet baron
You know who'd love this yeah being like when you're in the airport
You see the like, you know, like best demon supplicant
All right, just even just that being like you're thinking of him. Yeah, that's it. That's just a little thing
Just a little reminder just a little thing. All right, fine
Well, I think what Prélati was trying to say was like all these other magicians you've been working with
They've been doing it wrong and because they've been doing it wrong. You've got a bad reputation
So now you're talking to me bud. You're talking to a guy who's got a demon on tap. Wow. Okay
I fixed James Franco with the demons
great
I'm working on tom sighs where he's dead. He's dead. He might be a demon now actually
Now Prélati had always kept his promises to demon kind so he stayed at the low low price of a bird
He never had to get more than a bird
Oh, just one bird
But Prélati told gil that since he'd broken his promises in the past whether it was his fault or not
He had to make up for it was something far more important a little boy
Now it's unknown how much Prélati knew about gilderay's proclivities when he made this suggestion
But he might as well have asked you to pick up a fucking gallon of milk on the way home from work for all the effort
It took him to sacrifice a child to the devil. Oh, no shit
What?
Actually, oh, that's it. It'll be more difficult in that time period to get a gallon of milk
This is kind of one of those things where I think that Prélati
Definitely knew what was up
And there was we'll get into a little bit more about their relationship about whether or not it was one of those where you give
A little sucky sucky to the big guy, right and you go like I'm just a little guy
You know, I'm just a little boy
You know, I mean you do that thing to get him going right but then but he just asked he's like but for this
It's like we'll just need some children's parts. Yeah, but the way he said it he said it kind of like
You know
Yeah, I mean fucking gil showed up to the next session with a hand a heart the end the eyes and the blood of a little boy
Questions at 3 p.m. Yeah
That's a lot. I'll get you a heart by 3 p.m. Yeah, and Prélati didn't question
Whereas you'll have sourced any of these ingredients and instead began the summoning
Still nothing happened. Nothing happened. He brought you the heart the eyes the hand the hand come on
What else do you need? You said at least they're doing something with it. Yeah, Prélati could however apparently invoke baron
Which considering how baron appeared as a 25 year old man
Suggest to me that baron the demon might have just been some guy who hidden the corner and jumped out when he was summoned
Yeah, you think that you or what's the other option?
All made up
The other option is that
Prélati just made it up in order to kind of save his own ass during the trial because he was a practicing black magician
Which was punishable by death at the time, but it does seem that those types of like scams
To question them would actually mean you're questioning the very nature of God itself
Which is in and of itself heretical to do at the time. So I think a lot of times
These scams are played out loud and you're kind of forced by societal implications to act like this is real because
If I don't yield would not want to do anything taboo
Nothing because you know technically these actions at this point were more just frowned upon. Yeah. Yeah, it is weird that that
Game taboo I bought it at target and I opened up. It's just a bunch of a little underwear
That's like what the hell yeah, I've returned that this is fucking this this is indeed taboo
Why do you still have
Why are you pulling it out of your pocket right now? Please just keep it
Keep that in your giant wallet. Thank you
Now during these summoning sessions Prélati would draw magic circles burn aloe and murr and recite incantations such as this
I
conjure you baron
satan
Belial
Beows above by the father the son and the holy spirit by the virgin Mary
And all the saints to appear in person
So that you may speak to us and fulfill our desires
It's me baron. Whoa baron. My whoa. What a mysterious occurrence
Yes. Now gil bought all of this completely. He even began writing letters to satan
For Prélati to deliver. All I want for christmas is a sled. Oh wrong wrong
No, I was right. You're thinking of Santa. There's no I want this sled to be made out of a child's foreskins
That's also Santa
Well these letters said that gil would give satan everything he wanted
Except for his soul or the shortening of gil's life
I think he was hinting that he'd offer up the souls of children. Sure. If you want me to kill children
I'll do that all day long. I got that last one. Just don't ask my soul
Just don't ask for my life to be shorter. Very fritty Kruger
Yeah, however, I will say that it actually took a while for baron to appear in front of gil
At first there was no baron at all and Prélati said that he only appeared when gil wasn't in the room
Oh, like when you're gone. He comes whenever I walk out. He's like crazy
He's hanging out. He's here, but that's the way that works. Still got a bad reputation
So we got to rehabilitate your reputation then you'll come and eventually baron did appear with gil presen
It was probably after gil began to hint that if it didn't work soon
If you didn't see something too, then Prélati could get the fuck out
And also I think that at that point father Prélati if he was asked to get the fuck out
He would probably be murdered. Maybe but I don't see gil as like he doesn't murder men
Yeah, he doesn't like him in battle because straight up it's because the kids are easier. Yeah, kids are easier
But once baron appeared gil was finally after all this time able to ask a demon for gold. That's great. That's cool
Yeah, it's just first of all, he needs to be talking to a leprechaun
He doesn't even have the right answer because you have to deceive a leprechaun and then and then they just constantly come
Is that no, you don't always have to deceive a leprechaun. I'm currently burning through leprechaun the entire like lexicon of leprechaun right now
That's the movie series. Uh, that's canon. It is literally the bible for leprechaun
Honestly, leprechaun the movie series is just as valid as irish folklore
If you're an entire you see I'm in doublets
I'm not gonna go against tort davis and my boy
But it is the same because again because they get really mad because it's the whole thing
you're supposed to get their gold if you find it but
You didn't ask the leprechaun really
Yeah, but you know, there are some deaths at the leprechaun granted those people like when he guy walked into that fan with his face
He got it all chopped up, right? But he thought it was a big set of titties. So for him. I mean, you know
He got deceived he got deceived but then he got hit but I was like if you're gonna die
It's not that bad. He needs his gold. Yes. I mean leprechaun is awesome. Okay. So when you're in hospice
I'll make sure as you're dying to just have a
Big thing that I'm just gonna put I'm just gonna put a fucking titties up on a projector
Now when you come on the ceiling on the ceiling, so you don't even you don't even have to look at you just look straight up
And that can be the last thing you see. Sure. Yes. Credibly. Yes. I want some
All right. It's okay. Well, supposedly yes
Baron gave Freilati a vision of a room full of gold but told them not allowed to touch the gold just yet
No, that's for Scrooge mcduck. Yeah
And gil asked if he could see too
So Freilati led him to the room where the gold was supposed to be but when gil entered the room
Yeah, he cleaned full of gold. No, he saw a big snake the size of a dog
It ain't all the gold. Yeah
I feel like there's a whole this was built up to something else. I don't know whether or not this is a snake the size of a dog
Yeah, and it was hence in production. I don't know what this was
Well gil got scared and ran away gil is a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's scared of magic
Yeah, he's scared of a lot of stuff other than killing children apparently oddly though the room was filled with something that appeared to be colored gold
But it turned out that it was just some other substance covered in a tawny colored power. See what probably pollen
I mean, he must have been freilati must have been working with gil's people too
I think at some point just being like they're all trying to benefit a bunch of fucking rocks. Yeah
So outside of reality. Oh, there is something
To that word everybody pray like tea knows what he's doing. Yes, he does and all of the crew around him knows what he's doing
He and gilderay at this point is like a slobbering maniac
Yeah, and they know what they're doing because they're starting to fight amongst one another. Yes, I mean pray like tea. He supposedly
Received a beating from some demon just like the previous man magician had but as it turned out this beating was handed out by father
Andrei blanche the priest who had first been tasked with finding magicians blanche had gotten jealous because he'd been excluded
From all magical operations. He wanted to be in the room priest fight
Yeah, and prela tea told gil that blanche was not to be trusted and as it turned out
Prela tea was right because I would imagine prela tea is a very good judge of human nature
Blanche was the first to betray gil at his trial
But even so prela tea and gil continued working together until gils capture although it was all of course in vain
Well, it's just like you're just surrounded by villains. Yeah, I don't think they're all not going to consume each other and then eventually consume you
Yes
Now when the alchemy didn't work out for gilderay his financial fortunes only got worse and the other nobles who wanted his lands castles and assets
began making moves
Chief among them was john the fifth the duke of britney who wanted gils lands because they were important strategically supremely
So this is the the hook here. Yeah about gilderay. Is he innocent or not?
What is the what are the motives? Well who benefits from gilderay going down?
They want his lands. Yeah, but they know like he's hammering money
Yeah, it's he is and he is doing what is what this is where I feel like the true trends aggression amongst his peers
Is is that as a landed noble? There's a certain sense of seems to be maybe I'm incorrect
This is my opinion, but it from what I read so I might be incorrect
But who knows that it seems that the idea is that
Because we are above society
And we are the ones that are literally holding the structure of countries together
We're supposed to operate a certain way, right? Like and this concept of you taking what has been new generations
Put together tracks of land that we have been a part of that
We have been like also using and that part of this kind of global community of nobles that have been working together are watching you
Flush everything down a toilet. Yeah, right and this shit, which is being which is extremely sensitive areas for you
You're watching this guy
Start to really
Mesh it up. Yeah, and he's breaking all these unspoken rules
What do we do with this guy? Because again, he's a landed noble
It is very difficult to move against the landed noble because you need a bunch of reasons
Like, you know, you need like was it cost his belly? Whatever the whatever he's killing and raping a bunch of kids
That's the thing. That's not good enough. It's it's
Only if it's a part of a whole it's like a part of it
That's like one thing they can use a little piece. Well, that can be like the once you catch him and once you arrest him
That can be the main activation. It's like it's it's their version of getting somebody or tax evasion for bigger christ
messing with people's money
Yes, he is and it's not and that's the thing is that yeah, these people did want his lands
But that does not necessarily mean the gilderay was not a child murderer
Yes, like it's those two things are not mutually exclusive. They can want his lands and he can't be a child murderer
Oh
Yeah, at the same time one of giles anything you want to be
That's what this is all about. This whole story is about
Well, at the same time one of giles long-term servants left his service and soon after the local peasantry began whispering
About the terrible crimes that have been committed on gilderay's many estates. How'd they do that without social media?
Bards. Oh, they would talk. Yeah, they would talk they would whisper. What suck?
Suck the sounds of suck
The hills are filled with the sounds of suck
The song is actually very political. It's a political satire. Well, the first real threat to gile, however
Came when he made the church truly angry. Uh-oh and may of 1436
Gilles kidnapped his old tutor a priest named michel de fontanet
For publishing a royal edict against gile presumably for the trouble he'd made in creating the church of the holy innocence
Father fontanet was thrown in a dungeon for his troubles and was only released when the local bishop
Demanded his release
Gile of course gave in without anyone really knowing what giles actual plan may have been
It didn't seem that there seemed to be no plan
It was just an impulse because he gained nothing from this entire episode except the further animosity of the church
That's the thing keeps pressing these buttons. Yeah, and everyone's again being like stop
Like isn't the church like you're being extra. None of us know why you're being like this
Especially his family his family is all of his families saying like fucking stop it and they're hearing like they're because they're no like
Jean the fifth is moving against the ray to take control of his strategically important lands
Gile, however, was either unaware or unruffled because he still believed that he was going to discover the secret of the
Philosopher's stone that would give him unlimited wealth. I'm gonna get us all out of this boy
Well, it's big of true. You know if you did it would be fantastic. That's what they're all saying. Yeah, he's he's elizabeth holmes
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, such he abandoned all interest in his estates and signed over power of attorney to his cousin
Robert de breeca v who had been one of the family members who would source children for gil
And interestingly two people testified in gil's trial that five years before gil's arrest
They lodged a complaint with robert de breeca v because they discovered a pipe full of dead children
At the castle shanty not knowing that robert was one of the men who provided gil with these children jesus
Now concerning those bodies
It was said in the trial that when gil lost control of his castle at mash gul to john the fifth
He panicked and ordered his servants to dispose of the bones of about 40 children from a tower near the lower halls of the castle
Allegedly two noble ladies watched the removal and showed nor felt any horror or disgust at what they saw
Beyond the normal human reaction to decomposing flesh. They were far more concerned
It was said that gil had lost the control of the castle to john the fifth
Well, it's because it was their home and it was where they worked. It's where it was their entire lives and so
The more people he was fucking over with what he was doing the more people started, but still
You know as a as a helping class in this time period
I can't stick myself in the middle of these situations or i'm gonna end up in that fucking pipe too
Yeah, like we're all just
Decomposing flesh to this guy. This is again saying if all of this is real
It's if all of this is real and i also don't think that gil deray would have
I don't know if he was a murderer of men and women, but i'm saying you but
You could see how you think you think there's 40 children the bodies of 40 children being taken off from the walls of this castle
So this guy might be dangerous. Yes. He definitely slayed in the theater
Serving much
I collapsed back, but it's the
This happened several times it again. Is this real or is it not?
I I don't know. It's a lot of people saying that he'd sell a castle. It's hundreds of people saying
I mean, it's probably just freak out. They go run. They clean it out of bodies and shit
Yeah, what else would you do screwing around trying to figure out what did it is while he's also like
And that costs money too. Yeah, this is like the most human part of yeah, you got to clean it out
Yes, and once the bodies were taken away
They were burned in a huge pyre in the presence of gil his cousin his two man servants and his two priests
And what ashes were left from this pyre they were tossed into the water pipes at the castle chum tea
Now you may say that there was no way that these bodies could have been burned to nothing but ash
Without leaving something behind. There's no way these bodies could have been burned to ash without leaving something behind
Thank you. Thank you. And if you said that just like ben said it then you'd be on the side of the movement defending gilderay's innocence
Motherfucker. I didn't know what I was saying. You apologize. I was under duress
See no bones or clothes or anything was found at any of gild's properties by authorities as far as we know
It's not a matter of record
Concerning the many many disappearances
It is the defender's contention that there is no more evidence that more children went missing around gilderay
than in any other area during that time period because it was after all an age of death
It was full of plagues and wars. It was also the little ice age famine
Oh, yes, you got famine and the hundred years war just ripped its way through the entire country
Then that was uh 116 years over three distinct periods
And so there yes, there was a lot of destabilization in the area
But just also to me again, but that also
For me provides another smokescreen of why he was able to then hide everything because he had the time and the resources
But you know, let's not forget one of the most popular pastimes was the hunger games
And then uh, my god, yes, how many stocks pots you can fill with bones?
To make as much soup as possible. Probably a lot grind his bones to make my bread. Yes, probably a lot
Soak his bones to make my soup. Yes. Mmm bone broth. I'm hungry. Well, therefore according to the defenders
40 children going missing over the course of eight years would not have been an alarming or unusual number
Which I will admit is a compelling if difficult to prove argument
Yes, it's just I think it's as difficult as to prove as the other side
Yeah, and indeed many more children than 40 may have gone missing because peasants and especially peasant children
Were seen by the nobility as lower beings who weren't even supposed to have emotions
It was however said that two of yield array's family members found child skeletons after the supposed cleanup of the crime scenes
But they did little more than lightly question two of yield servants before dropping the matter entirely
Yeah, because to be honest
Do you want to be the one to be like tell everybody look what I found when you have a man that is
So both sides for me hold water where it's like I could see why you'd think like why it doesn't make sense
Why there wouldn't be evidence, but I could also see that there's a heavy motivation
For someone who finds evidence to not bring it forward
Yeah
See the yield's family their duty was to the property and it was no more their duty to protect the peasants
Then it would be to tend to the pigs and horses in fact the horses were probably held in higher esteem than the peasants
Yes, but this castle at mash kool was not the only place where yield was murdering children
There was also the aforementioned castle chantsy
See gil had also sold chantsy to john the fifth the duke of britainy
And he therefore again had to remove all evidence of his crimes before handing the keys over to the duke, right?
yield's servant enrié greer
Said that they had only two days to clean up the mess
And since there wasn't enough time to burn the bodies of dozens of children hidden in one of the towers
three of yield's servants stuffed the dead children into chests
Tossed them on a boat and floated them down the river to parts unknown. Oh my good supply chains. It's a way to do it
Now once john the fifth had control over the castle chantsy
He had no use for yield
So it was time to get rid of him for good and you can get those last
Little pieces left. Let's suck up everything else. He's got
John the fifth joined forces with the bishop who was pissed at yield for kidnapping the priest
And a guy who was still mad at gil about some shit that happened over a decade earlier during the hundred years war
Okay, now john the fifth and the others didn't particularly care that gil was murdering peasant children any more than they would have cared
If he was fucking and murdering sheep. Yeah, they don't care. They don't give a they don't give an h
They probably would have cared more if he was fucking sheep
I didn't see was fucking the sheep. You're like, you need the sheep for mutton. Yeah, that's all full of cum
That's not good. I'm gonna have to scream all the way
I want to share it for the clothes, but this triumvirate knew that if they could brand him as a criminal
Then they could confiscate all of his remaining lands and assets. Oh, yeah
They have this because and they were like, okay
What do we know about gil?
And I do believe that that's where there's a part of this where you're like
All right, it's time to pull the pedophile button time to pull the like he's he we're all done with it
We all know what he does, right? We're all sick of it, right? We've all done it with him
Wait, what was that?
Yeah, we've all been there. I mean probably most of them have. Oh, sure. And so john the fifth ordered a discreet
Investigation into gil de ray's sex life and gil did not disappoint
Over the next couple of months gil raped and murdered a teenager at a hotel in norm
Then raped and murdered another in a convent in
And this is all from witness testimony and people talking about kids basically going into a room with him and not coming up
But on the other hand, this is all also witness testimony by people hired by john the fifth
Sure. So that in itself makes it somewhat suspect. Okay. Was there a glove that did or not that fit on his hand?
I mean he had to gauntlet. Okay. Well days later gil made a big show of saying that he was going to change his sinful ways
He was going to make a pilgrimage into the holy land. So he cleans himself
Uh, well at least to his crew, you know, this is the thing is that this is
This is that is real
So there are interior things that gil de ray is doing
To also show that whatever it is that he feels guilty about
He's going to try and fix. He's telling everybody. He's like, I'm I'm going to rehab. Yeah, I'm going to rehab
He's doing the thing. I'm going to sex. I'm addicted to sex. Oh, I'm addicted. He's doing what david decovney did
You remember when he had a bag for all of our preventive?
Decovney, let's not bring him into this. I'm just saying it's actual dynamo from what I've heard
Yeah, I hear that too. It's more like against kevin spacey. Yeah. Oh very much
Yeah, it's again like kevin spacey but instead of going to the holy land
He raped and killed a 13 year old boy and he killed these two young brothers that he just found
That was just because that was his he didn't we didn't know that was code
Going to the holy land was code for him doing. Yeah, right
At the same time gil had returned to raiding the countryside in direct opposition to what king charles the seventh wanted from his nobles
See remember before where I said that you know going into the hundred years were the third face of the hundred years
That the all the front the french kingdoms were many different kingdoms
It was not one unified front
It was a bunch of different nobles with their own little villages their own
You know little castles and so on and so forth and apparently I was right when I said that similar to it'll
Ah, very good. Wow. That's nice. Good job, henry. You know what? I didn't tell you you were wrong
I just said I didn't know if you were right
But then that's something someone told me was right. That's good. That's very good. I'm happy for you
You do have you do you do have that good boy look on your face right now
You got it, buddy. Well by this time the king was trying to end all that
He was trying to legitimize his role by forming a standing royal army
Instead of having to rely on private armies paid for by nobles like gilderay. He didn't want to depend on people like him anymore
He's realizing this might be these liabilities that I have to deal with or actually getting their pile or not
Yeah, and we're not going to say that like gilderay was the impetus for this decision
But he was certainly the largest example of what was wrong with the system
In other words, european feudalism was coming to an end and this of course is one of the other things
That lays at the heart of the conspiracy theory surrounding shield
In addition to john the fifth doing his damndest to snatch gilderay's lands and castles king charles the seventh
I think needed to make an example of someone. Yes
And a worthless troublemaker would have made the perfect target to show the rest of the nobles
That if they didn't fall in line with what king charles wanted to do with france
Then their more nefarious habits might come to light as well. Well, mr. King charles. You think you've got me against the wall, don't you?
baron attack
baron baron
That was a mad he's on lunch. Yes. I think that was a mad
It's now even though gill had lost control of mush cool. This is he's still asked to stay there
Still a nice room
Well, perhaps there had been a flurry of activity rumors were quickly spreading amongst the local populace that gill was a child
Murderer who openly practiced magic, which he was. Hey, I'm a successful child murderer
I am unsuccessful in practice
Practicing but to them he wasn't killing children for pleasure. That's not what they thought he was doing that to them was beyond
They believe that he was writing a book using the blood of the children he killed
Well, now we're saying like once we get to once you're past the lip of we think he's killing kids
Everything else you can kind of see why the imagination leads its way to runs
Was there an ink shortage or something? No, you had to write the book in the blood of children
So you could get the attention of the devil the book of shadow when you get the attention of the devil
If he was able to complete the book then he would have the power to take any castle
He wanted because he would be invulnerable
Everyone knows that the devil only reads I'm trying to think as a courier
Maybe just think about a funny joke if you're out there and you know fonts
fonts um
He doesn't read ariel. He only reads times new roman times new roman
You know, he only read he didn't even get him started on comic sands. There you go or papyrus
Oh, god, honestly most satanists. I know are into like car repair
They're appealing to the right to repair movement
Yeah, it's because we're all our own kingdoms and our own gods and we need to handle our own territory
Right to is up and taken away the right to repair your own car. Oh, you see John Deere?
Yeah
The farmers just fought for that and they finally got it. Yeah, it is actually a very big deal
And I'm on the side of the satanist when it comes to right to repair because I'm also on the side of the farmers
I'm on the side. I am as well the right to repair. See he's a fear in his eyes. I saw the fear of the farmer
I saw it. I saw it. He's afraid of willy nelson's binge
I know and yet even though gill was under investigation
He continued killing children or at least it was a funny little coincidence that children seem to be going missing wherever he happened to go
Okay, however, it wasn't child murder that got gill arrested rather the downfall of gilderay had to involve something
That could be proven some grand event something that the nobility could get behind
Something that could take away all of gills money and power and that occurred when gill engaged in banditry for the last time
In 1439, this is one of my big arguments is that they didn't even need the child murdering
Like charge they didn't even need it. They already had something on him to fucking do a fully bust them up
What is banditry when your when your stepdad joins the steely dad cover band named steely tom or or some other thing?
It's been a longer series than I
Oh, it's like well acting on the advice of the demon baron
Yeah, he's just the guy now. He's hanging out. Okay. No prela prela tea is still there and like and so gill is like
What do I do? What do I do here? What do I do now? Because now honestly, I've hired baron. Yeah, he's hanging out
And he's just hanging out being like, is this your cereal like he's that duties like of the third
We had that in our apartment in telehassee. I remember when we let our buddy pale and
Let his weird friends start to like it started like they just want to sleep in the couch
Yeah, but eventually let the boys sleep in your bed. They're just hanging out and they're they're eating your stuff
They're all the time the mirrors off the bathroom
They would like to do at all
Henry must have been so so angry when he saw them eating all of his food. I know
Broke
Oh
They've been fucking a lot
I had nothing and the man that was supposed to be the first stage manager for murderfest
He had deceived and malice tattooed on his arms and then he stole my last package of baloney
That is real and then miss disappeared in the night
He was real that is a problem
Oh
Again acting on the advice of the demon baron
Gilles decided to gather 70 men and retake the castle at sainte-an-tien. They marry more
From john the fitz treasurer after gil had sold it to him. It's kind of like he was like, you know what man?
I used to be fucking hardcore. Yeah. Yeah, like I used to do this shit, man
Why am I sitting here? Why am I playing with money when he's fake, bro?
Yeah, I should just go fucking get my shit. Yeah, but he sold all of his rights to everything. Of course
But but he wanted to retake it. No, it's fucking mine, bro
It's one of those things where it's like no you cheated me you cheated me
I sold it to you but you cheated me
So now I have the right to take it back and he burst into the church riding a horse with a double-edged battle
Yeah, yeah, and he allegedly shouted quote you leaving scoundrels
You have beaten my men in extorted money from them come outside the church or I'll lay you out dead
Wow bold statement very bold
He then captured the brother of john the fitz treasurer and he captured a priest and he threw both of them into a dungeon
Before taking control of the castle himself
thereby committing three transgressions that together
Were enough to bring gilderay down. Wow by marching into the church. He'd violated ecclesiastical property by imprisoning the priest
He defended church law by dispossessing the owner
He'd attacked a member of john the fitz household and when you combined all that into one
Gilles enemies had all they needed to move against him. Wow, and he hit somebody when he was going down the scheme
That was the worst part and his keys went between the her legs and he could have grown to have heard the groan
The groan
So this out of all the horrible things this man has done it's trespassing and false imprisonment of a douche bag
Yes, yeah trespassing false imprisonment and a little bit of assault. Yeah. Yeah
Well, john the fifth led me to find that gilles couldn't pay
So all of his property and everything he gained through battle or by inheritance
Gone in an instant. Wow
Then an official inquiry was set in motion to collect evidence from people who had lost children
Wherever gilderay had hung his hat gilles. Meanwhile knew nothing of the child murder investigation
So after you mean my hobbies or a crime?
How is it a crime?
So after a meeting with john the fifth that went particularly badly gilles indulged himself by having his man's servant
Henrié take three children into a field outside of town so he could kill him
I'm just so stressed out because you just get three of those choir boys out there. I gotta see some blood
Maybe when he's in their blood room, it's my blood
gilles then spent a short time in the country at the estate of a man named
Lémoire where gilles met with his priest andré boucher boucher soon sourced a 10 year old boy for gilles to rape and murder
And when gilles had done so figure probably not a good idea to burn it on this guy's property
It's not my house
So the corpse was tied to its own belt and lowered into the house's cesspool
The body however did not sink all the way under so man's servant
Poitou had to be lowered into the shit pit to shove the corpse under with his hands and feet
I thought you could say rescue the boy. No, no
Evidence no no and that made one of gilles last murders particularly degrading. That's his second to last murder
Finally on july 29th 1440 an edict was published against gilles
Deray proclaiming that he with certain accomplices had slaughtered murdered and massacred in the most odious fashion several young boys
Then had oftentimes taken pleasure against nature and practiced the vice of sodomy against them
It was also proclaimed that he oftentimes made packs with the devil through child sacrifice
It's a very casual way of saying it. Yeah, although that one sort of incidental
Cajil did the vast majority of his murder outside of his black magic practice
Can you imagine that being that having to yell at everybody being like no listen my black magic had nothing to do
With the kids. I was trying to make movies
Yeah, I think it all kind of goes together at this point
But once this edict was published gilles thought to hell with it
Let's do one more and he assaulted murdered and incinerated a young boy
Who just entered into a service after gilles had his servant by the boy a new doublet
And these are the ones that hold the most water. Yeah, these last ones are the ones like the flag
Yes, all the eyes are on him and like
These are the ones that he is doing and now his his crew knows we're all being investigated
But they're all kind of just locked in they're all just it was different
I don't know how to put it because it's not like nowadays where the fbi you'll see them
Like the car out front and stuff
That's how you know if you're being tracked of a fucking wi-fi signal shows up that you don't recognize inside of your home
Is a good way to actually if you just really fucking think about who's looking for you
What if your neighbor just gets a new router you fucking know fbi tap bro go over there and ask them what's going on
Give me the password dude. Let me send you a fax then
Okay, well let's not scare the audience
So they don't know that they're fully investigating maybe maybe that's part of what it or maybe they're just like
I mean, I don't know like maybe this is you'll get out of gilles gonna figure us out
He's gonna get us out. Well by this time he doesn't have castles to hide behind anymore
So he's so everywhere the gilles goes he goes to a town
Someone gets murdered a young boy gets murdered. He goes to another town young boy gets murdered everywhere
He's going a young boy gets murdered the only other explanation is that one of Jean the fifths men is following gilderay and murdering young boys
Wherever is to frame him which is honestly?
Which one of these is more likely as his defense attorney? Let's talk about the word co-wink-a-dunk
It could be a coin. No, I don't maybe I'll be a small contrary lord
A co-wink-a-dunk is what uh, I'll just tell you something I'll suck them around to us
I'll pull into a co-wink-a-dunk and then he can be like look at the shrubbery. It's longer
And yeah, so my mama my mama is four hundred and seventy five pounds then
But yeah, just because she eats a hunger jack meal four or five single six seven times a day
That's co-wink-a-dunk. How could I find him guilty his lawyer so far?
Well after that gilles was finally arrested on september 15th
1440 because all the rest of the stuff that just took away all of his money, right which is important
Yeah, which is big. I mean this is big. I mean he could he could just be kicked to the curb
But yeah, they finally it's like okay. He's been murdering a lot of children. It's pretty obvious now
His two cousins they disappeared soon after
Quite a few others they said there were 16 accomplices. I think they ended up catching like five or six
I think I have actually I think I'm eating a flu. I better go. I'm just gonna go now
Yikes
But the priest blanche the magician prelati and the man's servants poitou and on rea were captured as was the roaming witch
known as the terror
Yeah, she's cool. Just lame. Mm-hmm
Gilles public trial began within a month and a formal indictment of 49 paragraphs was read
34 of which enumerating gilles murderous crimes in great detail while also outlining all of the
Sacrilegious dealings he'd had with various sorcerers and heretics now that it's piling on too
Yeah, I do see that that's where you can have a little bit suspicion because they are there's stuff in it
Yeah, try to like get them. They're trying to find trying to get them on something
Yeah, and they're making it sound as horrible as they possibly can. Yeah, this sounds pretty horrible. Yeah
They're exaggerating even what's already horrible. They're exaggerating even that but that's how they got to the exaggerations
Yeah, was that there was something for it to grow from but you know, but this points to a lot of people
That's where like the exaggerating part
My thing is that again, absolutely if you give but truly if you get
Epstein bought an island to have sex on yes, you know, I mean like it is there is there is a precedent
Yes, Tom Hanks Tom Hanks collects typewriters
There's a difference
You can look to twitter boys
You can look at the things that men do and you can extrapolate from the things that men do into what you know possibly they may do
Yes, what yeah, what humans may do
Oh, now the innocent side claims that the main focus of the plot against gilles de rey was the legal land snatch
But there were also political reasons. That's my wife
But there were also political reasons for smearing gilles as a pedophilic child murderer
See the hundred years war wasn't over just yet by the time gilles went on trial
And the duke of britney had close ties with the english throne duke of britney, of course was john the fifth
Gilles de rey was of course still closely linked with Joan of Arc as this was before he was eradicated from her history
Joan meanwhile was still considered a heretic by some
It's been and even some in france particularly
Burgundians
Ball over she beat the hell of it didn't she and Charles the seventh had been crowned king
But he was still a little wobbly therefore if gilles were to be found guilty
Then it could be said or at least whispered that king Charles the seventh owed his throne to the heretic
Joan of Arc and the black magician child murderer gilles de rey
And as it was gilles did refuse to even reply to the charges when he was first brought before the court
Oh, yeah, saying that the judges had no authority over him
But after gilles was quote put to the question which was the medieval term for legal torture gilles changed his mind
Oh, yeah, the when the inquisition showed up that is fun because it's kind of like if you dropped
John Wayne gasey into guantanamo bay, right?
He wouldn't do well
But you don't mean like you have this guy that is if this is real because this is my take is that if he is this kind of
Like psychopath warrior child murderer, but then you just been like, okay
We'll talk to a couple members from the inquisition and then you can even go like, well, let's just think about it
Let's think about it. Yeah, this is of course another point taken by the innocent side
The gilles was coerced into a false confession by torture
But on the other hand, I don't know if this necessarily washes because gilles was after all a seasoned battlefield veteran
He was an absolute demon by all accounts who could take pain
So it seems weird that he couldn't survive torture for longer than a day. Well, it's I mean
In the transcript with this is where the issue is it's stuff where
It is both a highly like detailed transcript of the trials
There are also parts that are left out and what we do know about the way things are transported because there was no
Sonographer now they are written from memory after the fact so everyone you hear kind of a bass and you rip it up
So what there is a pause in the coverage the inquisition shows up
There's like a day where it's never said
Implicitly that he was tortured. We are inferring that he was tortured
But there's some people there's the other side that they think that he wasn't tortured at all and this was a
Negotiational tactic of like if you give us a win for the church if basically
plead guilty
We will not desecrate your corpse when you die
And we will you can legally tell everyone you're going to heaven
Yeah, basically we will allow you to die as a christian
Yes, we'll allow you to die
And so there's this moment of time I mean like so was he coerced by actual physical punishment
Or is it just appealing to his like this weird inner spiritual thing that he has said before that i'm trying to fight for my
Immortal soul, I don't know
I mean it could also be that you'll just finally realize that the game was up
There's no point in prolonging the inevitable
Why am I going to go through days and days and days of torture when I know what's going to happen at the end?
It's already done. It's done. Yeah, the torture is bad. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be tortured one day is a lot
Yeah, one day. Oh, no, and it's old school now. Yeah, I've seen those museums. Yeah, it's the pair. It's the rack
Oh, it's the wheel and you kind of think for a while like that's the other thing is that I kind of weirdly think you'd like it
No, I don't think so
Maybe very scary
Well, to that pair is scary. Yeah, they're all pretty scary
Well to that point during the trial gil agreed that he had killed children
But had only done so for eight years not the 14 that he'd been accused of but on the other hand
Gil might have also said this to save the reputation of jonah bark because if he admitted to all 14 years
Then that meant that he was murdering children while he was at the side of a saint. Yeah, so he wanted eight is enough
It is enough, but he also he wanted to yes
I think that there was something about preserving that time period too for himself
Yeah
gil also denied sacrificing children to the devil and said that he committed his crimes quote
In accordance with his own imagination and thought following no man's counsel
But his own solely for his pleasure and carnal delight and with no other end in view and to me
That is a fucking classic serial killer confession. Oh, yeah being like the zombie. It's well put. Oh, yeah, very well put
But it is I mean you hear those confessions in modern times, right?
That's how that was btk's
Absolutely, and then
Dispassionately talking about all of the details. Yeah, one by one gil's accomplices when they could be found
They gave their confessions and they were condemned to death chief among them bought through an enri a that's my one thing is that like
They all knew they were going to death. Yeah, like so if you're yeah, what's the point? Yeah, why are you what there's
There's no point to like I know that you're trying to save yourself in one way shape or four
You're trying to save yourself
But still like you all know you're going to death. Why throw everybody under the bus? Yeah for no reason
Yeah, well, you want to have fun. It was fun to bring people with you
It's hard because you're also getting people are just screaming at you
You know, I mean like it's not a fun process the trial. Yeah
Well, poitou and enri a along with gilderay. They were sentenced to be hanged and burned on October 26th
1440 gil, however asked that he be hanged and burned first quote so that he might set a good example
Are you a hung then burned or burned then hung hung then burned?
I hanged. I thought it was burned then hanged. I believe it is hanged
Then body is burned body is burned because I one of the things that I read so that his body was lit on fire
And then they hung him, but that also sells you ropes probably going to burn too. That's possible
I'm on your side. Henry. Thank you
Well, he also wanted his men to know that he wasn't going to try and escape their shared fates
Oh, yeah, and then again, I'm the and also who's the star here, baby? That's right. Yeah
Yeah, but geo was hanged geo was burned and after he died his body was removed and laid out by four noble ladies of the town
Who pampered his dead body as it had been pampered in life. He still died a noble
Oh, yeah, because they get and that was his plea deal
As far as the other accomplices went the magician pray lati was condemned to life in prison because magic was very much illegal
I mean it was publicly uh people used it and talked about it, but it was still like illegal
It's like weed smoking then. Yeah, you had probably just want to be killed anyway life in prison probably sounds horrible there
No, no, it was bad
But he did manage to escape. Oh, but he was later hanged for unrelated crimes never stop never stop
He did good to escape though
Yeah, here's an interesting one the priest blanche. He was simply fined and banished from france
Finally lemme fray the terror hang yourself in her cell like a nazi. Wow
Wow, it's also ebstiny. Yeah, very ebstiny
And as it went gilderay lived on as a french bogeyman for centuries
The original blue beard as it were and his castles became dark tourist destinations in the britain region as such in 1992
The britain tourist board commissioned author gerber prothue to write a biography on gilderay to drum up more business
Come on. We need more pedophile business
Yes
But much to the tourist board surprise when prothue published his book
He instead made the case that gilderay was innocent. Oh, he was that's first
He was the first one to come well prothue is also a famous. How do you put it? He's a mischief maker
Yes, a provocateur. He's a provocateur
So they handed him this thing expecting him to write a little tourist hit like literally like
Where we can see all the the you know the points of interest of gilderay
And he was just like i'm gonna kind of hijack this for myself and i'm gonna prove he's innocent
And i'm gonna write a book and i'm gonna sell it across the world
Okay, apparently the defense testimonies weren't found in the minutes of the trial
The page containing gilderay's confessions weren't signed by the presiding judge and the victim count varied too wildly from 80 to 800
But as far as that last point goes
There's a reason behind that it was said to be 80 because his accomplices testified that they had removed 40 bodies from one castle
And 40 from another but it was extrapolated to 800 because of the way the indictment had been written
The indictment said that he had more or less for 14 years every month every day every night took killed and cut the throats of children
Which is not he was actually he was busier than that. He was
He was he definitely didn't he wasn't entirely devoted to that. He had to pick tapestries
He was running choreography
He was doing a lot of shit at that time for him
But perhaps the most important fact brought up by pro too was that king charles the seventh himself
Had asked in vain for gilles judgment to be revised just three years after the death of gilderay
On that last point, however, I think it may have been more about rehabilitating jonah vark than it was about exonerating gilderay
I know I dug deep into this. So charles the seventh did do that, but it was really it was in and out
They fully exonerated jonah vark in 1450. It was like in the early 1450s once france was more unified. So
To be on this is my
Major kickback is that I feel like they also would have went really far to exonerate
Anybody that was remotely attached to jonah vark. Yeah, but instead they did the opposite where they the
Truly a real version of cancelled someone which has made sure that they were basically erased
From history. Yeah, a period of time
They just like caught him out because they couldn't do it because when they went and
Made jonah vark a saint in the 1920s
They also tried to exonerate gilderay then and that only lasted for a couple of days because still like 95% of medieval historians
They're honest of this the idea of him being innocent is is thought about because of this flaws because these holes in the trial and the coverage of the
Trial but 95% of medieval historians still think that he's guilty because of
Essentially, it's the church of the holy innocence. Yeah, it's like he public once you make a public
Like molestation university. Well, he didn't necessarily he didn't tell everyone. Hey, I'm bringing in kids here in molesting. It just
Uh, it was obvious
It was very obvious no one wanted because somebody would illegitimate it
You know legitimize it if it was I really do believe that he was too important
He had too much money more people would have showed up. You're like, let's make this church legit
Yeah, and he could have just given the church like here's a fucking here's a thousand fronks. Yeah
Yeah, you can have it you you're a part of it, but he would Catholic church at this time was not what you'd call
Fucking ethical. They were uh, they've never been
The idea but at that time it was a at least at that point
At least the ethics were straightforward and you could just buy shit
Yeah, you know what I mean instead of pretending like you needed to worry about your soul or whatever
Well soon after publishing his book broke though hosted a tongue-in-cheek retrial of gilderay at the luxembourg palace in paris
This is about 1992 and it ultimately acquitted the world's most notorious child murderer as not guilty. All right
Not guilt not guilt boom
But while we do certainly respect the people who believed array is innocent in their passion and in their research
We ultimately believe that there was just too much blood pooling around the feet of gilderay
To say that he was nothing more than a victim of political circumstance
He definitely didn't murder 800 children
But considering the number of kids who went missing in his presence, especially at the end
It doesn't seem worth it to rehabilitate the image of a child murderer whether the number is one or 100
Yeah, because even if you murder one
Everybody gets on your fucking case. Well, absolutely
Gilderay there it is. It is a lot. I would know of noblemen gone wrong
But I will say that is again. It's what I love about
History, especially this time period. I do love that it's about
When you're a historian, you're a storyteller. Yeah, and when you go to do this
You got to look all these different perspectives in the face and wonder and ask yourself because it's objective knowledge of these time period even
Capable are we even able can we get it? I don't know but that's why the time period even exist
I didn't even exist
There's a whole series of thoughts saying that we're 300 years earlier than we're supposed to be
Yeah, right, but you that's we like read into it
Like I'm fascinated by the pushback because I read it
I was like we talked about as we went through the research of like there is points here
But you know who knows
You just never know what if someone is capable of well no sense of decorum and nothing but resources
I think it's important. We trust the legal system. Yeah, and he is guilty
Well, he's a murderer and at least he is guilty of wasting during a theatrical production
Yeah, which comes out of the actor's pocket. It does and it's unfortunate and he's a horrible person and he's french
um, so there we go
So that's it
And he's french. We're we're fine with france. Yeah. Oh, yeah, french. Yeah, french is cool. All right, france is cool
I've been we went to france this year. It's cool. Yeah, honestly though. I barely remember we're the only there for like three days
And then I was just mostly like I felt like I was in the
national ampoules european vacation where I like I ran to the loop. That's it. I ran over there
That's tiny. Yeah, it's tiny, isn't it? It didn't feel like that
Louvre is huge. Oh, the louvre is fucking good. It's different. So fucking massive. All right, everyone
Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you for these. Thank you for the great comments gilderay
That is it. I think that was a french history. Thanks. Everyone came out to uh wonder con too. It's so much fun
So much fucking awesome. Yeah, like it was so cool to go to a fucking con that's like truly
Nerd based. It's like it's not about celebrities and it's not about stupid bullshit
It's just about having fun and talking about nerdy shit with other nerdy people without, you know, feeling embarrassed about it
It was so really great. So cool. It was just it felt like a legit
con, you know what I mean? Like it felt like it was so cool to meet everybody. Well, you know what I like?
Less police barricades
There's just so many barricades. It's just so scary. You go through it. I'm like
Scared a comic con half the time, but this is nice. It was really really fun. So nice
Yes, so thank you all so much. Go to get it made dot la slash disaster manatee kissle and i do a side story slide
In support of a little project I'm working on. Um, there's a lot of people asking questions
Eighth that's April 8th. If you want to buy an alcohol for the show pay attention might stupid ass social media
I'm gonna pump. I'm gonna put it up on the stories
I'm just gonna put the most complicated thing we've talked about in this whole series. Yes, it is
Just no it's not it's it's not always gonna be like this
I'll I will admit like one of the most surprising things about moving to california
I've been here for about four or five months now. It's just how fucking
Incredibly complicated everything. I mean do you see New York is very similar besides the fucking it. We just don't go to universal
The copious amounts of weed is easier. Yeah, that's much easier
But yeah, I guess I just got used to the rules of new york city, but yeah here. This is a paffling town
Well, that's not necessarily true though because here you can get wine liquor and beer in the same store
Yes, which is very nice. Mm-hmm. It's scratchers. Whoo scratcher
That's next
California health care is a labyrinth and nightmare. Oh, that's different
You don't have to be serious
I just get burgers. Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you're doing well out there. Hail yourselves
Hail Satan again maghustalations. The times are tough, but honestly, I would rather live now than then
Oh, hail me man, because I don't want to fucking go back. I don't want to go to 1400s me man. No, no, no, no. Thank you all
Bye
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