Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 527: Gilles de Rais Part III - Letters to Satan

Episode Date: April 1, 2023

This week the boys learn the fate of alleged medieval child serial killer Gilles de Rais, who after hanging up his military career, shifted focus on finding new ways to acquire victims, as well as for...ming his own church, composing an extravagant theatrical play, and dipping his toes into Satanism.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started What was that Not a doctor at all Get away from my wife. You know what I realized last episode. Are we recording? You know what I realized last episode is that when Gilderay, yeah would do his like performance before killing all the children Right like this is crazy. He's my kid Play that you would put on you know we dance around and hang them up. It's not good, right? Oh, no
Starting point is 00:00:50 But I just realized upon finishing the Jared Fogel Documentary you've been a real Fogelhead lately It's a Fogelhead you really savored it. I mean I developed that thing in a night just to get it over with Every five minutes, I'd mean Nat would just sit in silence go I can hear Henry screaming at the TV. How is that a crime? Understand you want to save her every pound every We all did because that was before the cramps, right, but I realized him I'm
Starting point is 00:01:25 showing the pants That was his Gilderay fucking show that was his show They got all the kids just been like well look at them pants, and you think about that. It was just big-ass pants Watching this this whole time. This is it. This is the whole spell. Gilderay had a private army Flaggins of land How many miles are flagging It is flagging is a cup. Okay, how long it takes a fat man to walk across the valley. I don't know the math All right, I'm not in medieval math worlds, right?
Starting point is 00:02:01 But that's the idea of getting all the kids all frothed up because they're looking how big them pants are You're like man, I used to fit them pants. I could play in them pants Yeah, and then you end up playing in it. Jared from Subway certainly got the kids all frothed up great assessment there Welcome to the last podcast of the left everyone hangin out with Henry and Marcus today We're on to part three and the final gosh darn part of Gilderay Excellent take a look at these big old pants. Wow look at those pants So when we last left Gilderay his career as a mass child murderer was in full swing and these murders had gone on completely Yeah
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah, it was only the 1400s Okay, and these murders and these murders had gone on completely unfettered due to the enormous wealth and power He'd both inherited from Jean de Crayon and what he'd earned during his time at Joan of Arc side during the Hundred Years War Which is really why I have been siding with Gwyneth Paltrow's Nemesis that you are siding with what is it Sanderson? Sanderson, the one Terry Sanderson. He's a horrible person But he said he needed to take down all of these celebrities on these skate slopes because if we don't check these celebrities
Starting point is 00:03:13 They go to their islands and start molesting children and that's when I knew the truth got too much Gwyneth Paltrow had it shut it all the way down with her fixers her snow-based fixer And everyone at $3 and just so everyone knows that man He Henry is not joking that man did go on on the to the stand and say that he had to put a stop to all of this Pedophile island business, which is why he tacked her with his skis. Well, and of course that is not where a pedophile island is Pedophiles like warm weather He really do they do they're they're a lazy buck. It's a good banish herd crowd Yes, it is now the castles in which Jill committed these crimes looked appropriately evil from the outside
Starting point is 00:03:57 Dracula like fortresses made of gray stone Constantly surrounded by lightning flashes and thunderbolts wolves Howling in the night. Ah the children of the night. I'm viewed from you. Say hey, hey. Ah I am coming I am coming Hi, hi Hi, hi Why is there a pig there?
Starting point is 00:04:20 Oh, yeah, you're doing all this by the pigs It's just the man dressed as a pig. Yeah, but inside Jill DeRay had created a sort of Neverland by way of citizen Kane now if you've ever seen the footage from Inside Michael Jackson's Neverland remember they took the cameras in there was shown in the finding what leaving Neverland documentary It was a very Martin Bashir who was a very controversial figure. Let's be honest about that. We can be but if you've seen that You know that his house was filled to the brim with these terrifying childish artifacts He had all these gumball machines all those animatronic clowns. Yeah, you know, it's a It's a temple to molestation. It is. Okay. Well, hold on now gumball machines are not indicative of molestation
Starting point is 00:05:08 Don't malign a gumball gumball machine 20 tell me One gumball machine in a rumpus room is fun. That's 20 is a systematic grooming mechanism Because then it's everywhere you go. You've been like, oh, don't worry. He he he wants to come Oh, you haven't come back. Have a little gummy bear. I'll scratch the scratch when you got distracted Gumballs are still representative of innocent childhood memories. Sure. Let's not ruin that shall we? But the weird thing about the house I don't know if you'll notice this but the fixtures and the wallpaper inside Michael Jackson's house. It was very suburban It was like old lady gross what kind of makes you feel like to be honest like you're at a Nana's house
Starting point is 00:05:48 Yes, exactly. And gilderay's castles were much the same way except he had decidedly more adult taste because he was after all He was trying to impress fellow nobles. He was not trying to seduce children Yeah, he didn't do any of the pant stuff for the kids seduction Each room was hung with gold cloths that cost 80 coins each 80 gold coins That's a lot. That's a lot. Oh, we gotta give a dragon 80 good 80 gold coins. There's like a witcher They gotta go rescue a princess and then next thing, you know, you got curtains, I guess You don't give any gold coins. They need to
Starting point is 00:06:22 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should not run it up. I'm sorry. No, I'm playing persona 5 royal It's all in yet. The villagers give me dragon. They give me gold coins. It's a fine item out of breath Well, these rooms were all filled with fine furniture painting statues books and precious manuscripts And gil kept a near constant employment of jugglers singers and actors to keep him entertained Well, this is the issue, right? Um, this is where we get to the Harvey Weinstein part of our story last week. Obviously, we're seguing We're going from a fogel to a Weinstein. This is where we see how but this is to me Seeds that he's dropping that shows that he's guilty. This shows that what he is creating is he has jugglers around
Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah, it's just like it's the 15th century equivalent of having a tv in every room. It's You're gonna see that it doesn't stop there, right? I do like the idea of throwing a shoe at a juggler So it changes channel Yes, that would be fun chainsaws to the chainsaw channel But it's the idea of surrounding yourself with an entertainment mechanism That makes you look far more fun and engaging and interesting than you should be And the fact that you are offering but you'll see as it escalates I'm gonna need some evidence like the Gwyneth Peltrow trial
Starting point is 00:07:42 I I'll bring up an animation because I think it costs 50 grand to make one of those I feel like peacock is an actor hulu. That's a juggler netflix. That's going to be your what was the other thing singer All of these are poor Poor replacements for the juggler and the end this thing. I know but i'm just saying you have three different channels to work with Well, gil also kept an open house to nobles and commoners alike at whichever of his 24 Residences where he happened to be reciting where anyone could partake of good food or wine This was seemingly a christian principle that he learned from his time with jonavark But it also helped with local morale. It was a bribe basically. Yes. That's what i'm saying
Starting point is 00:08:23 Yeah, but as we sit again and again during episode two One of the few things that jonavark and gildere actually shared was a love of the theatrical Although gil's theatrical impulses weren't confined to the battlefield like they were with jon or to his later career in the theater Yes, now is when the show begins Almost before we get to the show we have to get to the pedophile church I don't want that now. This is to me the ultimate example of why he is guilty Hmm. Well to perhaps give himself a bit more of a jonavark sheen gildere founded his own Extraordinarily swanky church
Starting point is 00:09:04 It was however also a cover another funnel for innocent victims So gil cheekily named it the chapel of the holy innocence now like it to place this in time Remember that they've you know, they fought all the wars technically gildere should be a hero amongst this countryman But jonavark though, we know is currently being buried. They don't like she was executed out of the trail They wanted to keep a fucking tight lid on this jonavark story because they're trying to basically separate themselves From this mythos the idea that we owe things to this heavenly woman that may or may not be an agent of god blah blah blah But gildere at that time probably should have been viewed as somebody who fucking you want to be around
Starting point is 00:09:47 But we now know that he has been utterly kind of kicked out of all these spaces He's good. They kind of give him a perfunctory little position on some board somewhere But mostly he's just kind of like being kept away from these important stories Well, the thing is he starts this church of the innocence Everybody knows that he's this weird dude who's spending like he's already certain hemorrhage money, right? He's not hits It's like it's his family's money, which is kind of a complicated thing at the time period It's complicated. Yeah, because it's all like it's it's his but it's not his It's like you're a chunk of a country and so you spend money
Starting point is 00:10:22 like on stupid shit is Emptying the coffers of a gigantic like system metropolitan system. And so he's already doing it when he starts Honestly, I would say the system is more agrarian And that means when you tie your shoes professionally, that's equestrian. Ah very good We're great here But then he started the church of the holy innocence and he wanted it to be an official church the thing is the Vatican does Not lightly give that because mostly you need a priest to do that You need somebody who's actually connected someone to the church infrastructure
Starting point is 00:10:55 He had none of that and he started this church of the holy innocence and everyone's like Why are you doing this? Why are you making this and it's was freaking people out? And this is the reason why Well with this chapel Gio would both recruit beautiful young boys as was his want And he would also simultaneously satisfy his love of ecclesiastical music Specifically Gio loved the hot pipes of yore To the extent where he had a portable organ made which took only six people to carry. This is not bad portable This is Marcus's dream. Yeah
Starting point is 00:11:30 Oh, we'd love to have someone who carried like six guys who carried an organ Well, like if I could have an organ on tour and then a man who could just play organ for me at all times You want that? Yeah, this is your life It would make him happy. I don't have a big organ. I want one pair of innocent big pants Oh, you have a bunch how rokers mean? Yep, you did have pairs of innocent big pants, but you burned all torched them you torched your big pants And they burned for days. I'm sure they did Well out of the 30 people who ran the chapel of the holy innocence
Starting point is 00:12:09 Most had been collected by Gio during his travels And many had been recruited because of their combined abilities of keeping their mouth shut And their willingness to do anything for money. This is a group of criminals. Yeah Each one was dressed in the finest clothing trailing robes of scarlet lined with squirrel fur At the time was quite fancy Oh Wow, that's a that's incredible. Oh, wow. Are you wearing possum today? How do you know what playing dead? I think at the time squirrels are not quite the rats of the park that they are now
Starting point is 00:12:42 They're not rats now You're anti squirrel. I'm not anti squirrel since day one anti pigeon anti squirrel I'm sorry marcus. I know you're honestly. I know that you again precious breaths today Yeah, I'm precious breath and you're attacking. You're adorable squirrels are not rats squirrels are adorable But squirrels are also very aggressive when you're in the park Squirrels are the baseball players of the small animal world where they get a lot of ass and they're always on the road They really do. They really do. I mean, I love it when I see a squirrel in my backyard But I do you remember the central park squirrels could be quite aggressive. Oh, yeah, don't nibble at you
Starting point is 00:13:14 Don't fuck your wife. Oh, yeah, especially during covid. Jesus. Those squirrels are mean I feel like nature to the indictment on your weakness Because they're squirrels and you're a man that the squirrel can really destabilize So Well additionally the services were held in the most opulent church then in existence Which is saying quite a bit when we're talking about the catholic church in the 15th century. Wasn't this like kind of peak almost peak catholic I mean, they were running the damn world Times the catholic church and this is peak waste for the catholic church as well
Starting point is 00:13:47 This is to me. This is like the equivalent if I like in a modern america if I went and like Like opened up my own rogue mcdonald's like and I just like and he did all the same signage Yeah, like mcdowell's like if I open my own mcdowell's but then like the main function of my mcdonald's was the funnel children To for me to have sex with right like it would be like that we're like the church is like What hey, listen We don't care if you're fucking these kids. They really didn't because we they didn't but hey, you didn't get a permit For this Yeah, that's not good. That really was the whole thing. Nobody cared that he was killing children
Starting point is 00:14:24 What they cared about was that he hadn't consulted catholic authorities and the pope was double pissed because zeal had appointed himself as bishop It's really and the thing is so it's really weird at the time period. That's that's like the key here is that it's one of those were everyone's is like Hey, bro. Hey, hey, hey, you know like with michael jackson. They're like You we thought you'd be putting out like an electronic album. Why are you outfitting this teddy bear room? Well, what did you do get himself a big hat? How do you make yourself bishop? You just go? I'm bishop. Yeah, that's all you gotta do. That's all you gotta do
Starting point is 00:14:59 Trust him just as much as bishop dolin that mother fucker is always at the Met Gala. He's covered in gold chain I think oh, oh yeah, oh yeah, timothy alone. No Fuck him. He's demonic. Yeah, you call yourself a bishop I think you're illegally allowed to call yourself a bishop if you say amen when you come on the back of a child Oh my goodness We can use that bad And with that zeal moved himself from the realm of nuisance
Starting point is 00:15:26 To real problem and he made the first enemy that actually had the power to help bring him down the church Big enemy to have. Oh, yes. I mean, it's more like Why why? You know why I do this? I mean why are you the word hubris? Yes applies quite a bit But of course yield array wasn't satisfied with the pageantry of the catholic church to satisfy his theatrical needs Jeal was about to enter the world of entertainment Using his relationship with Joan of Arc as the bridge. Let me entertain you. No, I let me make you smile It's okay, honey. He's an actor. You can trust him. Yeah, you're coming on my wet knees
Starting point is 00:16:05 Oh god, because it's it's flop sweat. Yeah But like any celebrity worth their salt Jeal actually forced one of his servants to act as his body double Oh, it's my only the only thing I have a body double or have a body double. It's cool to have a body double that goes out and does Shit. Yeah. Yeah discarding the servant's old name whatever it may have been Jeal began calling his double Ray the area. Oh, what does that mean? It's just kind of you just call him like I think it Little ray little ray. Yeah, I mean the little ray ray. I have no idea what it means. That's my little boy
Starting point is 00:16:38 Little ray. What's my little ray? Jeal too. That's how you're right. Jeal too That was before they understood the power of the sequel But then all of a sudden once you get to quanta mania Starts to burn out. I agree with that And he dressed him in appropriately splendid clothing when Dorae needed a substitute This gave jeal a fun game to play because when ray le erio played jeal in public Jeal could be both actor. Oh and spectator. Oh, do you remember michael jackson's halftime show where there was three michael jackson
Starting point is 00:17:07 So it's one of the best halftime shows of all time. He shows up on the megatrons He comes out of nowhere out of the smoke Weirdly like send a chill up my spine because it's actually very similar. Yeah That halftime show was amazing. Say what you want. That's very yeah That halftime show was good. He kept trying to blame the man in the mirror, but it was the man in the bedroom But it is it's really scary because in my mind I'm seeing like a psychological like this is like talented mr Ripley shit where it's like he's gone so far into his world of his own fucking fantasies He's a bishop. He's a leader of an army. He's a multi multi millionaire
Starting point is 00:17:44 And now he's a producer and just the idea of sitting back and like It's puffing on something and watching yourself Perform as yourself like do weird things. It's cool, but it feels like a david kronenberg movie. Yeah Yeah, I mean it's scary and I would be like whoa should have done that up there other me Yeah, you suck. Hey other me you're really fucking blowing it But even though most of his life was fun games and child murder at this point Every once in a while gil would have to attend to his military duties as marshal of france Which had sort of lost its lostor since he'd discovered that his real taste for blood could only be satisfied by a younger vintage
Starting point is 00:18:22 Oh lord Yeah, I gotta have a crepe keeper moment every once in a while. No Only every once in a while marcus in no way is it constantly your life No, every now and again. I gotta be a little weird Okay, marcus You could be a little weird once in a while See when gil was asked by we had to do with a fucking mandate on the stream without him It was marcus's videos. We just did a live in your brain
Starting point is 00:18:50 Crawling around and that's super. Yeah, just a woman covered in honey for some reason. That's fine though. He was amazing Who's amazing then that was like you I you're lucky. I didn't show the one where she covered herself in newtala I'm gonna see I would have seen that was amazing See when gil was asked by his cousin George de la trimoire To help with a siege by the burgundian armies It's gil for the first time simply told George de la trimoire That he didn't have the liquid assets on hand to raise an army usually gils up and adam
Starting point is 00:19:19 Of course because that was his favorite thing on the face of the planet was to go to war. Not anymore But now he's got he's got hot pipes. He's organizing. He's got a fucking I mean You know not to be anything grooming kids takes time. Well, he's not really grooming anything He's also doing other things basically. He's happy. Yeah, I feel like that doesn't Make I mean Objectively That does not make for the best general or warrior. You have to be kind of miserable A little bit. You have to be someone unsatisfied. He's too satisfied. He's too happy. Yeah
Starting point is 00:19:57 Comedian at his whim Well, finally like George de la trimoire. He said fuck it like I'll pay for it. Just send your men I'll pay your men. Wow, but gil he took the money and he sent his brother renais in his place Because I mean this guy did want gil because gil was a brilliant military commander But gil just went home Then their burgundians wiped the floor with his brother renais because renais was a shitty commander He was anywhere near as good as gil. So they killed him. He didn't he wasn't killed is just he lost a lot of men He lost them on the head. Yeah, you're a loser
Starting point is 00:20:30 Get out of here. Yeah, you need to do the thing in crusader kings three where they the two the two groups go And they attack each other and the numbers go slowly down. It's almost like you were in vietnam I feel it every day. Wow But to gil deray none of this mattered at all weird see by this point military life had become boring and noble life Had become double boring. Okay. All gil wanted to do was murder children run his fake church And of course produce incredibly lavish theatrical plays whose cost would have dwarfed even the largest of modern hollywood budgets Except for avatar two. Yeah, I would actually I would put it on par with avatar two I really would like that movie. It's I don't want sure sure. I don't watch the avatar
Starting point is 00:21:13 It's definitely a great way to pass time in hospice. Yeah, I mean honestly, that's what I plan on doing watching all of these things when I'm dying That'll be great if he just didn't Murder the kids everything else is fine. Yeah. Oh, yeah Russell brand right now If he could start a church wood and it would be full of some of the dumbest attractive people that's ever lived It is just going past Accenture because that's the thing they had they had like they understood for a while like the idea of him opening his house and having a never-ending store of food and entertainment in booze like they're like she was crazy
Starting point is 00:21:51 He's crazy. But then like after a while like when he built this church that they're all like again like just straight up like You know, you're ruining a for all the rest of us and truly Institutionally given in pedophiles, right? Like this thing that you're doing is like blowing this up to a level that none of us want Like this is a really gross and this is for 1400s 14 like their version of like this is really gross Yeah, yeah, you gotta be pretty gross. Yes to make them think you're doing something gross. Yes. Yeah. Yeah Well, I think a part of the gilderay is innocent crowd I think part of the reason why they want him to be innocent because if he's not a child murderer Then he's a great. He's a fantastic historical character. Oh, he's like hilarious. Like he's a hilarious eccentric
Starting point is 00:22:36 He's like he's Joan of Arc's like fun best friend. Like, oh, let's go party I mean, is anyone is anyone getting like a divorce over this? Like do people be like, no, I'm a gill head. I I bow and like I mean there are people like ending relationships There are people who gives a fuck. No, it's well There are people that have dedicated their entire lives to this very subject And then they wake up one day and they realize they're 90 years old and what have they done? Absolutely I I personally I have respect for those people will get to that later on. I have respect for someone who
Starting point is 00:23:10 I love their life to history and knowledge. I have literally yes, but you know what? I love this because you know what I love when I love the one reason why weekends or historical topics in my love Said it's all about perspectives. It is because you can say more offensive things because it happened 500 years ago It's a bonus The gills medium of theatrical expression was the mystery play mystery, but it's not It's not it's not it's not fun mystery. No mystery plays who did it? No, no, oh, you know what I like to do is be like you did it like right when it starts No back then the word mystery and miracle were more or less interchangeable
Starting point is 00:23:55 So these are stories taken from the bible. They were stories taken from they were also taken from secular history Just so long as that history involved a miracle from god. Yeah, because that was like the juice That's what you get. That's what butts and seats. I mean, that's a lot of great stories. So yeah work well on the stage I suppose. Yeah, well grandiose spectacles with enormous stages full of color and great movement Mystery plays had scripts that reach beyond 500 pages and they often took a week to perform These were the summer blockbusters of the 15th century. That's typically these were like the avengers movies They're like three and a half hours long and well pretty cool and people arrive And everyone comes and they would and they would play for days specifically. It's like wrestlemania that I'm going to this weekend
Starting point is 00:24:37 Who cool saturday and sunday That's a whole event and on tonight. There's it is friday. There's an event, but I'm not gonna go Yeah, if we want to if we want to be classy about it. It's sort of like uh, Wagner's ring cycle, which is like three days wrestlemania. It's the performance in front of the gods. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so WrestleMania is classy You don't think wrestlemania is classy This is the man he would Performed at wrestlemania performed Cindy. Yeah, he shook. Uh-huh, which is a performance
Starting point is 00:25:07 Cindy Lauper Uh-huh was at a wrestlemania. She performed at wrestlemania. I remember lu albano was there. He was also a one. Yeah I remember our undertaker was it. Well, let me let me ask you this. Uh, was val venus at her ever at a wrestlemania Did he ever do is now paralyzed? Okay? Can you please was uh, was the godfather? Did he did was godfather easy was that word though with the word easy said at a wrestlemania? Oh my god. I didn't know I was dealing with such a fucking elitist. Yeah. He's only got a precious breath breath What's that new hillary ronald clinton tattoo you have? Yes. Yeah, I was gonna say when he came in with his pussy hat on
Starting point is 00:25:44 I was like, that's fine. He can be like that. He's got mad. I'll head tattooed on his lower back I do I did and I got it all done this week. I've changed. This is what's changed Great wrestlemania is a classic event for the record anything ending in mania At the time the most famous mystery plays had been the mystery of adam about the creation of the universe And the mystery of the passion, which is of course about jesus's crucifixion It's a big thing. Yes, man the stations of the cross if you wanted just a good cerebral horror movie Just the stations of the cross is the best passion of the christ has a christ fantastic horror movie I mean these mystery plays mystery of adam mystery of the passion. It's like jaws and star wars. Yeah
Starting point is 00:26:25 Yeah, it's the best but gilles grand theatrical production of which he oversaw every aspect from the costumes to the sets was Les mystères du siège They are land perfect the mister who shits Mister who shits And it's that man right over there. I did it. It's the it turns out the mystery of the siege of orlean Now he wrote a whole play about him and jonavar taking orlean if you look into I found a really cool doctorate thesis on the origins of the mystery of this age of idea Right and what they say is very very interesting is that they're like well of all the other mysteries
Starting point is 00:27:04 There's been a lot of there's documentation About who wrote it because they're so huge and they also get added to over like a hundred years Yeah, and this is when this when he was producing this play. There's during a time period when jonavar was as we said before They were trying to be like She was a witch we burned her Which is for like not necessarily this was the side that was pro jonavar, but they just wanted her to go away They just didn't want to Over this. I mean we got a king. We don't need a child profit in the mix here
Starting point is 00:27:36 Let's talk about this right focus on the king. Don't focus on jonavar the king. He's the one with divine connections Yeah, he's doing it. And so what about her laptop? We do need to look That is really that's the truth we're not hearing um, but he uh So he was putting this out there during a time period where everyone's been like, okay, this is weird, right? But they were like looking into the origins where this play came from. They have a really hard time They're like, well, we we have like one version of it
Starting point is 00:28:08 But the one thing that really stood out was that gilderay Was kind of cut out. Yeah of any sort there's receipts that show that he paid for shit Yeah, but but all of these people at the time Kind of like struck his name From the record. They were all just like he was just some reason not really included in this time period Especially because they know that in the 10 years after the battle of orla that started to become a little like A semi unofficial holiday that people would kind of do and this play started showing up and in the gilderay attached to it And it was just this weird thing where everyone kind of like
Starting point is 00:28:46 Push them on the road. He got kevin spacey is what i'm trying to say is that now So this is my theory is that they all knew season five of house of cards Yes, they knew he was so gross one that was weird, but the idea is that he knew that he was so gross That they were already trying to erase him from history at the time period Yeah, because they would like they didn't want to involve because again It was also this like weird touchy thing because the mr. Ray of the sage of our land didn't become official Until after she was exonerated and then like in the 1450s Well, this play it naturally featured Joan of Arc in the lead but playing the supporting role was a highly fictionalized version of gilderay
Starting point is 00:29:21 Who appeared as a faithful and devoted servant to Joan of Arc and her godly motivations Now since mystery plays were so incredibly expensive by their very nature The investment costs were usually covered by city governments clergy or wealthy private citizens like gilderay That is the upfront cost. That's the investment that that's your foreign investors And like today's productions these costs were usually offset by the price of admission It's more about break and even. Oh, yeah, it is about turning profits because theater Yes, it is about theater's sake and it's about you and it's promoting your name Yeah admission however was charged on a sliding scale for the poor it cost one frank to be a groundling
Starting point is 00:30:03 Not bad. I got a couple of franks in my closet right now pull them out Have them tell a couple of jokes. I'll walk right in those your dead sex slave zombies like your chef Dahmer You've got Frank Caliendo in your closet. Oh my god. No, I'm John Madden Whoa, he's everybody. Uh, I'm Bill Clinton Wow, isn't that good? I was thinking frank from always stunning in Philadelphia. That's fun. Oh sure that's fun Yeah, that's much more fun than Frank Caliendo. Yeah, Frank Cali. I'm John Madden He's very talented. Yes But with gilderay who seemed intent on showing off in every aspect in the production of his own mystery play
Starting point is 00:30:39 He paid for everything and charged nothing for admission In addition, he gave everyone access to a full buffet of venison Shuckulent fish. Yes mead and wine for every single performance for five months and everyone's just like Okay, cool. Three meals. You're gonna do this. And then he ended his gilderay set him behind me like, you know, it's just about performance It's about what he's kind of about what we're trying to do. It's about community. It is. It is. Movies all communally that I come around. I feel like it was a better time to be poor back then, you know, you got all this free food Maybe it was a better week to be poor. There you go. That's one day might have been nice
Starting point is 00:31:23 That's kind of fun. It's a little hot old succulent fish. Yeah Like you're still hanging out outside Little bit venison. I mean, that's a real good cut. That's a good meat. It's a good meat. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, if you hit a deer in Wisconsin, you can you can eat it. Yeah, you can but unless you pop its fucking shitbag inside of it No, you contaminate all the meat. Yeah, you have to do. Oh, well, that's true Now in order to raise the cash to pay for all this, Gilles maxed out his credit using his land castles art furniture and books as collateral Gilles also paid two to three times the actual price for everything he bought Although it's not clear if he paid high prices as a show of wealth through impatience
Starting point is 00:32:02 Or because he just had no idea how much anything cost. Yeah, I think it was uh, it was if the mom from a recent development What's a banana cost? $10? Well, as far as the actual cost of production went Gilles paid 140 actors with speaking parts while five to six hundred people were paid as extras every single performance Damn, that's a lot of people. How big was this stage? Huge, massive, huge. They said they had to build it regularly to like look like they would make it You know in the in the mystery of the passion you'd have like Christ there and they'd put all the angels And all the people and you have a guy playing God and you got like, you know a bunch of people sucking on his feet washing his feet
Starting point is 00:32:42 For some reason they're all obsessed with washing his feet It's metaphorical, I think. Well, it was big enough where they were actually able to show them Convincingly show movement of armies. That's cool. From like one scene to another. Yeah, I would love to have seen one of these Like it sounds incredible. It's kind of like what they do at the opera. Mm-hmm a little bit Yeah, yeah, well every single person every single actor had to be dressed in the most authentic costumes possible And everything had to be made from the finest cloth Even if the costume was torn into rags to represent someone who was able to represent a peasant He would do like what Balanchiaga does Balanchiaga where you take like I think you look like a homeless person
Starting point is 00:33:19 But the whole outfit costs like 15 grand They're controversial And honestly why it's actually why it's appropriate Because she'll raise the Balanchiaga of this entire story. All right Well, perhaps what was most incredible about these costumes was the fact that Gilles made a rule where every actor Only wore their costume Once whoa, then what happened to it? They would throw it away and make a new one for every single performance
Starting point is 00:33:48 As wasted a lot of money 700 new costumes for every single performance Wow Now after months of preparation Gilles made his debut on May 8th 14 35 Just four years after the death of Joan of Arc when her rise as a hero of the french and her fall as a supposed Heretic was still a fresh memory. In fact, one could say that Gilles Durey was the first person that recognized Joan of Arc as a martyr Oh, he definitely put it on the map. Wow. Did he know when the NFL NFL players have to buy their jerseys? Really? Isn't that crazy? What do you mean? But then also the president, you know, if he goes to the kitchen or she
Starting point is 00:34:28 Goes to the kitchen They gotta pay for it. What they have to pay for the sandwiches. What are you even talking about? They have to pay for the sandwich What are you talking about? I'm talking about how he he was the 700 wardrobe changes that they had every single show. Of course. He had to pay for it I'm just saying Do that and if you're if you're the leader of the free world, you also have to pay for your sandwich. You gotta pay for everything on some aspect Yeah in the kitchen. Where did you hear that this president has to pay for sandwiches? That's a fact. That was from the White House chef You're talking about the only man who ever did that was probably Jimmy Carter. No, that was the white house chef who worked for
Starting point is 00:35:02 Bill Clinton. I'm just a simple peanut thumb. That's my killer I put it a little bit out of a little bit. It's more Randy Newman He's not a president You're about to do welcome back I put an IOU in the jaw That's just nice and tricky for me. Oh my god. Well the reviews for the siege of or lean. Mm-hmm fantastic It was an absolute hit as far as the story went Joan of Arc was portrayed as a saint of the highest order while Gilles was portrayed in a fully glamorized version of himself
Starting point is 00:35:39 As her faithful servant because that's how he wanted the public to see him It is interesting. He made himself kind of the second fiddle Well, he was only one little character in one chunk of it because it was because he wanted to watch himself Yeah, and he didn't make himself the most grandiose But he would be sitting on like an elevated chair amongst the audience like watching his own play just going like Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Well that's how we watch old youtube clips on ourselves on our television and go you're the best comedian ever for seeing I don't know about that. I don't we have different nights
Starting point is 00:36:12 Well for him, it wasn't about being glorified on stage for him It was about showing the decadence that he could put on this play in fact It was a bit more of a Plus for him to not be portrayed as one of the main characters because it's like oh look at this I can put on this entire play. It is not about me. It's about John. I just want to make sure that everybody sees How good John is. No, I think there's something to that because Harvey Weinstein I just want people to know that it's a Gwyneth Poundtrell. He's got the nice She's just got a nice couple
Starting point is 00:36:46 But then she's got the badungas coming on now. That's a movie It's really not that's ruining them. That's ruining the movie. It was more like when we watched page seven and whiz group perform In brooklyn and we didn't have to do anything and we ate all the cheese in the green room Yeah, that's how we're like shield array great There you go because we're like this is even better than performing remember And we had it but we did have to pay for the food that we ate. Yeah, because that's what a writer is We always see that makes sense. It took me it all makes sense It took me years to make the two of you understand that that shit that we get in the writer. We have to pay for that one year
Starting point is 00:37:20 Marcus we knew that I don't think you did I at first they didn't but then I immediately know I knew it Well, let's hear an example of some lines that Jules character said in the play. Okay. This is him pledging his service to show lady Have no battery. No, no, no, don't it's not racy leota. No It's Harvey Weinstein. No I don't want to be Harvey Weinstein. I don't want to be Harvey Weinstein Yeah, I don't want to do a Harvey Weinstein. Give it more of a row. Give it a French romantic
Starting point is 00:37:51 Why are you going to tell him? Oh You must do a horrible man Lady I have to have no doubt of me I wish but to do your will Do my friends and underlangs. No way. Just do it the way you were doing it And we shall do your will in everything Oh, I've got to be
Starting point is 00:38:25 Later on in the play When the other commanders are questioning the wisdom of jones tactics Jules is shown as her greatest defender basically showing everyone that if it weren't for yield There would be no zone which is actually true We should refuse her nothing And have no doubt the victory since she is at the end And so with this scintillating dialogue Let me stare do say they are lame
Starting point is 00:38:58 Ran daily for five Months every day for five months like billy joel at msg. Dude. That's kind of fun Oh, yeah glorifying both jone and jille while conveniently leaving out that jille stayed silent It did nothing during the six months of the trial that was sure to lead to jones execution Probably actually helped her get caught. Yep. Yeah, but while jille was producing let me stare desilliers. They are lame I get better every time I say you do and during its entire five month run It's important to remember that he was also still luring children into castles and murdering them slowly and horrifically that never stopped In other words yield array's place in the french theatrical world is exactly what qanon followers believe modern hollywood to be
Starting point is 00:39:40 A cesspool of pedophilic child murderers ultimately run by the so-called elite We do know that there are pedophiles in hollywood. We absolutely know that we know that there are sexual predators in hollywood We absolutely know that but ritualistic child murder by on the part of tom hanks and oprah might be a bridge too far Just because their schedules are so packed. Yeah, it's so hard to get them together in one place You actually get oprah tom hanks and bill clinton in one room. That's a fucking six months I think they're all the same person But while the similarities are interesting jille was more of a qanon unto himself But there was also never any supposed hero working behind the scenes to bring him to justice
Starting point is 00:40:27 No, as a matter of fact everybody's a storm coming No, and everybody that was around him was somebody who he slowly but surely either Positioned to be close to him because they were cool with it or they owed him a bunch of money Like he and they were just kind of or just straight up evil Yeah, or they had a or they had a stake in gilderay staying in power I mean in reality nobody around gilderay gave a fuck about anything he was doing just so long as it didn't mess with Anyone else's power and privilege Really, there wasn't much of a point to gilderay's excesses decadent and depraved just for the point of being decadent and depraved
Starting point is 00:41:02 Besides gil never worried about the expenditures during the production of his mystery play Because he believed that all of his money troubles would soon be solved by black magic and alchemy Oh sweet, honestly, he's not wrong Oh, I mean, okay. I mean it turned out to be Yeah Now gilderay's dabblings in the magical world actually began north of the satanic realm jersey Very nice When it came to mysticism gil was introduced to magic by
Starting point is 00:41:31 Joan of Arc who had seemingly used divine powers to defeat the english Even if those same powers didn't translate to battles against the burgundians. Hey, man, even we know God ain't at 100 percent You know and not the the burgundians are always going to be in God's favor Well, that's also both that's part of the magic of it Is that it was said that just so long as Joan paid fealty to God and listened to the voices Then she was all always she always won. She always had somebody to save her But the moment she started going off on her own and not listening to the voices Then that's when she was captured and killed because that was a problem
Starting point is 00:42:03 You're looking at all the voices and the only thing you want to say to you is like hey Hey, Joan show me the titties and you're like hey, I got a job. I got a job to do Joan But while you was seemingly seeing God's intervention in the real world Which showed him that the supernatural was indeed real he encountered a knight in possession of a grimoire Wow Now the books certainly contained information about summoning demons But to gil the most important entries had to do with the practice of alchemy now remember This is fucking real practical for real. Oh, this is all sure magic is a practical thing for these people
Starting point is 00:42:41 It reminds me like it's interesting because it's like he's I'm trying to feel I'm trying to figure out the proper like connection to modern times Yeah, I couldn't quite figure it out either. It's like it's it's something that like it's frowned upon It's I don't like short sell in stock. It's something like people who do the crossing over stuff Or it's like that. It's also people that like, you know political candidates that like Obviously are probably child molesters that also like join the evangelical groups to kind of like get their support It's there's something about like him joining forces with a straight up con people But he's like that will like it's it's another part of his like mania. Yeah, well, let's get briefly into alchemy
Starting point is 00:43:22 Well, for those of you who don't know alchemy was a sort of middle ages frontrunner of chemistry that also combined occultism Philosophy magic and astrology. It's a lifestyle, baby. Yeah Now alchemy certainly had other uses but its most famous application was the transmuting of baser substances Like lead into pure gold and also there is a constant debate about whether or not that was about the is that an allegorical meaning But then a lot of them say well the thing is yes, it's allegorical, but only because it didn't fucking work Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's real. No, that was an allegorical. Yeah, I know I can drink too much They have sex with you, but it's all just about the fact that it's about simple
Starting point is 00:44:05 Dude, our catholic priest father steve used to talk all the time about how he saw the bread turn into body and flesh I swear, but I don't think that's true. I think they bought a ribeye We just covered the fucking story of the woman who lost the toes who's got shot by her husband And then they made the toes grow back and then they're not showing us the goddamn toes Show us the toes.com. This would be huge Show us the fucking toes. Show us the toes Now medieval alchemists failed again and again in their attempt at such a miracle because I mean even if it was an allegory for some It definitely wasn't an allegory for gilderage. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:44:44 Yeah, but instead of concluding that such a thing was impossible Alchemists decided that they must be missing some unknown ingredient. Oh, yeah. God damn it. Barry. Did you piss in it? Yeah, did you spit in it? Yeah, you fuck a virgin last night. No, but honestly, let's redo the whole thing All those things I was doing anyway And they ended up referring to the secret sauce as the philosopher stone Then seemingly for the hell of it They also decided that the philosopher stone could be used to make a tea or wine that produced an elixir of immortality Which is where alchemist Nicholas Flamel enters the picture. Supposedly Nicholas Flamel, who was a real guy
Starting point is 00:45:18 He actually existed. Okay. He had discovered the philosopher stone and while for us Flamel is a centuries old figure for gilderay Nicholas Flamel died when Gio was 14 years old. Yeah, he was right there. He invented alchemy during his lifetime Yeah, therefore Flamel and the philosopher stone were within living memory and Flamel had been French to boot local guy Nicholas had made his wealth speculating in real estate, which gave him the appearance of bottomless pockets Man, that has been around since time since building Since lamb I'm not really liquid right now. Yes indeed real estate a tale as old as time Yes, and since Flamel also dabbled in alchemy a rumor started that he had found the philosopher stone
Starting point is 00:46:04 That's why you have bottomless pockets. Wow This is like when you see someone just being like, why do they always on a boat on instagram? Like why are you always on a boat? Why are you always like at the time? Sometimes they photoshop and sometimes they're yachting. Oh, I know Well, this is highly interesting to gilderay because he wanted to live life the way he'd been living it in every aspect So he needed Nicholas Flamel's magic rock that created gold. Of course he did You've now built a probably, you know 100 million dollar church to molest people And then you've also put on a play
Starting point is 00:46:38 What about the theater? Yes, he put on a play which is technically very positive. That's very positive He put on the play hundreds of millions dollars. What is this? You are hemorrhaging money And you are an unrepentant child molesting psychopath. That's also not good at work Yeah, and so you're sitting there being a little like, oh There's this is not going to continue. You like you literally you must have a magical rock. Yeah And I know that the philosopher's stone is not necessarily a magical rock. It's a word for a substance Or it's an allegory, but for our purposes is a fucking magic rock. It might as well be Yeah, see the thing about gilderay that's often misunderstood when people call him a satanic pedophile child killer
Starting point is 00:47:17 Is that the satanic part of somewhat of an exaggeration? Hey, let's let's let's leave satan this alone I mean it definitely makes him sound more ghoulish and interesting, but it's not his main gig Sure, but another way he did not get into black magic and satan because it was evil and rad like other Occult murder torture killers like richard ramirez and bob burdella instead gilderay got into the game for money That's it. Yeah, that's the only reason why there's so much money in that He was just like well, I've tried being an army for hire, but then I have to travel I try to do all of this, but I just spend money. I'm not stop making any money. I don't know why Start charging money for this for the theater
Starting point is 00:47:59 But then everyone won't want to everyone won't think I'm the greatest guy in the world Because that's what you because remember how burning rain offset that was his his ultimate His ultimate flaw was that he just wanted to be a good guy to everybody Yeah, and he just didn't know and if they wanted me to be the go-to guy So I needed to be the go-to guy for them. He cared too much. He cared too much. He worked too hard So what gil needed more than anything was cash to spend so he could maintain his fantasy of unlimited privilege The whole thing he of him trying to recreate his childhood. So he pawned properties He found castles sometimes he sold entire towns at fire sale prices in order to get cash as fast as possible
Starting point is 00:48:39 To buy more stuff and to pay for more theatrical productions. That'd be a fun pond stars episode a town Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm gonna need to call in my expert and it's Barbara From Shark Tank. She's horny. She's so fuck you right now, dude She is so horny. I just want to be left alone by him. He's in real estate But speaking of gil's productions It seems as if he already understood some pretty heavy magical principles Even while he was producing they missed a introduce the age they are laying Or at least he was trying to figure out some magical principles
Starting point is 00:49:13 So he's been theorized that gil was attempting to magically invoke the spirit of Joan of Arc through the mystery play Don't know why it's just been uh speculated. Well, because what do we know about to help us? I mean, that is the thing that is the very old concept of kind of creative But also it's just the maybe kind of a hope I mean, he might just miss his friend and he might you know, because that's those were his best time Those were his best years. They really were his best years turned his time with Joan where that was the peak of his life And you know a lot of serial killers too. They also say like I need someone to stop me Why won't somebody stop me and I think maybe he thinks if Joan of Arc comes back then he will stop
Starting point is 00:49:53 And he'll be a better person. He won't fucking murder children anymore. Okay Well, it's been theorized that he of course was trying to invoke the spirit of Joan of Arc And through his studies He'd learned that a requirement for magic was that every material used in a magical ritual had to be quote-unquote Virgin never used before but what these people did not know if this is true that they were all part of some super ritual Like some big old thing is that that's technically also against magical ritual principles as it is You're gonna go. You're technically jeal. Yes. You're gonna go to that. That's what he needed. That's what he needed somebody like me You're gonna pull technical. You're gonna pull a reddit card. It didn't work, did it?
Starting point is 00:50:30 I'm gonna pull a technical card. Well, technically this is 15th century magic. You're talking more 18th century magic 19th century magic You're talking order the golden dawn magic. This hermetic teachings came from somewhere, didn't they? You know guys, we'll discuss it later Over a drink. Well, this is why jeal insisted that the costumes be made anew for every performance Because to use any object secondhand or to use anything that had been used in non magical endeavors was to court failure If not outright disaster But jeal he didn't care about spending insane amounts of money because by the time his spending habits had reached their heights He'd already come to believe that he was just a hair away from discovering the secret to unlimited wealth through alchemy and black magic
Starting point is 00:51:10 You know what you know what this is man? This is Jeffrey Epstein dumping his money into Harvard scientists trying to live forever Like trying to isolate his cock and to move into space like it's that shit. Yeah, and this by this is old magic This is grimoire magic. This is merlin magic This is not allister Crowley and his fucking Ponzi friends having imaginary spell spats and overpriced london flats These guys less less butt plugs. Maybe oh these guys thought they had god on tap Yeah, and the devil on tap more importantly. Yeah, oh on draft Yeah, and that's the things that they these grimoires that were being written like this is a grimoire that was written like last week You know, these were transcribed grimoires. This is before the printing press
Starting point is 00:51:53 So only the most wealthy could afford and so you would you would say then maybe admit that Writing those grimoires might be more difficult than dictating them then Yeah, writing them that coming up fall into his little fucking trap the person who writes It's the person who thinks of it. Yeah, the person that just fucking writes it is basically a typewriter There is a word for that. It's called ascribe Yes Indeed ascribe without ascribe who gives a fuck what you're saying? Because they have to write it all down. That's you. That is your entire life. What is just talking and no one writing it down
Starting point is 00:52:30 That's what you and I do. Yeah, that's you'll write down my words in their mind So you're saying they're doing the hard work of writing down the words of their mind that you're while you're just They hear my words like Frodo saw the ring Memorized they put it in their brains Because of the way I've learned how to speak I lost your this is It is difficult to write. Yeah You know, I know you know, I know
Starting point is 00:52:55 Well sometime around 1436 gil was told of a goldsmith who claimed to know the secrets of alchemy So gil found the man gave him a single silver piece and told him to transmute it to gold Instead the goldsmith took the piece Locked himself in a room God drunk passed out Woke up and absconded with the silver. Technically. That's just the you got. That's a consultation It's hilarious. I just like that that's to happen. That'll happen now. Well, I just love I love this again
Starting point is 00:53:24 It's all like with the same brains. They have the same brains that we have. So yeah, it's just Surrounded by conmen. Oh, yeah And this was only the first of many many men to hoodwing gilderay under the guise of teetium one sort of magic or another But even though his first foray was a bust gil was tantalized by the possibility of transmutation So he got two of his priests at the chapel of holy innocence who usually phoned them boys They said put that on hold. Okay. I got other people to get me boys I want you guys on finding me magicians You know what that means that that's a decision that came from a fresh ejaculate
Starting point is 00:54:00 Because that's a clear Clear-headed decision. Yeah, I guess so well the first priest was Eustace Blanchet And the second was father André Boucher Bobby Boucher. Oh, yeah He'd recently brought gil a nine-year-old boy to rape and murder in exchange for a really nice horse Big pants. That's the big pants that time. Yeah, that's that. All right. And so through Blanche Boucher and gil's cousin Gilles de Siais De Ray Begins got a lot of friends a lot of friends a lot of friends and in all rhymes
Starting point is 00:54:33 He began interviewing potential magicians. Oh my god. I want to spend fun terrible lobby. Yes, indeed One known only as trumpet later claimed that he had instructed gil on how to sign a pact with the devil using his own blood First thing you do is you gotta pop open the skin, right? Did you sign your John Hancock right on this slip of paper? John Hancock's not gonna be around for another simple. No, he's not and it's herbie Hancock Funny. Yes, indeed. So these guys are just killing a bunch of rabbits in front of him and doing a bunch of tricks with doves and cards and stuff They probably got some of that fun powder that you throw into a fire and you know, yeah Are you afraid of the dark? Yes But gil he later insisted during his trial that he never sold his soul to the devil
Starting point is 00:55:17 For power or for rich. I mean, that's really not even why are we talking about that? Because there's so many other things like there's tangible things that he did that were really wrong It's interesting because it's how they frame it. It's how they frame what he did. Meanwhile, he's just straight up being like No, no, no, no, we never fucking conjured up the devil. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get him on the phone? I have to we got to talk to his other we got another big time here. Let's just get to the the charges, shall we? Yeah, we'll talk. We'll definitely talk about that later But yeah, his whole thing was that from his perspective God was definitely real. He didn't want to go to hell He did fear for his immortal soul. So he figured that he'd do the same thing as grandfather
Starting point is 00:55:54 Jean de Crayon did is that at the end of my life? I'll just say give me a mulligan a mulligan Fucking forgive me God. It's built in. I've I've I repent forgive me God and he'll go straight to heaven And then in a few hundred years, he'll welcome Adolf Hitler and say, how you doing? Honestly, they're all hanging out right now. They're all hanging out right now. Isn't that fun to think about? Well, as far as the no magic rule went gil figured that he could find a back door To the powers of sorcery and alchemy without selling his soul like a common He's trying to he's trying to cheat this the whole thing is a cheat. He's trying to do a life Cheating
Starting point is 00:56:27 Yeah, it's all he went comes down to it. It's about negotiations. You want to get in there? I still don't know this impression. It's Harvey Weinstein. I don't even think it sounds like you look at it. Watch his interview I see the ugly man that he is. I went I made sure this morning. I boiled two hard-boiled eggs to know what his dick looked like You know, it's incredible how many men in this city look like him Hey, it's called the producer's body. It really is like every time I drive out to my doctor I have to drive through Beverly Hills and I always see a weird fat man in his front yard talking to somebody Always looks like Harvey Weinstein. It's becoming me. I'm going to eventually turn into that, but it'd be a good one That's the problems of when I drive with my top down in the car. It's never women to check it out
Starting point is 00:57:10 It's only always some other fat man. There's just like nice with a beard. Well, sometimes it's just five o'clock Let's not expound on it too much further But with each magician Geo met the interview usually came with some sort of demonstration of power or the appearance of power And while most of these magicians were allegedly and technically successful and showing they made show They did make a little bit of show. They also weren't what Geo wanted. No one magician who came through the foge Attempted an invocation that scared Geo so much that he locked himself in a room Sat himself down in a magical circle of protection and refused to leave. This is like it's like when I took acid It's seen as bachelor party. It's very similar. It was scary. Something was going on
Starting point is 00:57:56 I don't know if it's a Madame Belvatsky style like they had helpers like people coming in and out, but But gilderay was extremely superstitious And as he went through these processes of finding these magicians like each one of them scared the shit out of him and he so weird because This is there's a tension. There's a tension of him understanding That I I am gonna have to go all the way to the top To become innocent at the end of my life. Yeah, all right with another magician Gilles de Siais Gilderay's cousin. He was so scared that he jumped out of a window
Starting point is 00:58:35 Later these are good shows. Yeah, Mike Berbiglia. Yeah later It was also said that whatever that magician had summoned it beat him severely and wounded his face for bothering him Oh my I think it was just some guy. Yeah, it really could have been but that was the least of the unfortunate Incidents to befall some of the magicians that came into gilles employ one he drowned before he even got to the castle He drowned on the way to the castle drowned him or he just happened to drown. He just happened to drown. Yeah, man It was a different time. Yeah, yeah, another one died immediately and almost cartoonishly as soon as he walked into the castle So one of those things were like they opened the door and he just fucking I didn't mean while gilderay was like he's no way. This is symbolic. Yeah. Yeah. Wow
Starting point is 00:59:20 The closest it seems that any of these early magicians came to summoning something was when a man named Jean de la rivière Was instructed to summon the devil presumably as a test camera test. Yeah And supposedly after the magician went into the forest and fought surround for a bet. Sure. You'll heard a clang some kind of Foley going on Oh, what is that then well the magician then entered and said that he'd seen a demon in the shape of a leopard no shit No fucking shit. No shit, dude. No shit. It's all leopard, but A leopard or a leopard leopard promise didn't want to talk to me He just walked on by
Starting point is 01:00:04 A cat called it a demon and then said he did his job. Leopards are stuck up Yeah, well, that's where they are. He knew that it was a demon because it gave him a disdainful look. It's a cat Yeah, that's what cats do. Yeah, that's most of their life. No, it's the equivalent of eye rolls. Yeah If cats could I mean, oh big cats they'll they'll if they were allowed near our nuclear facilities They would knock all the nukes off the shelf. They'd be horrible. They would and but today is that you always like, okay Okay, okay fine fine So they went back to the castle and got drunk and the next day the magician was like, hey, gil give me give me 20 gold coins I just need 20 gold coins
Starting point is 01:00:39 Hey, I just need 20 gold coins I'm good for it. Yeah, I'm good for it. You're just fucking 20 silver coins. You make it gold. No You know one thing is I need some gold as an example. Yeah, so I can show you silver what I need to be So just fine here take it and the guy just fucking left never you never saw him again God, it is just this is you know what it feels like The way david spade describes his home But he was like what he was talking about because he got robbed several times It's like all I do is I let these strange women in on my house
Starting point is 01:01:11 Like I don't know who's in my house and it just feels like that where you gotta be careful people in and out of his home Now that guy had obviously been a scam artist and it's almost positive that every single one of the magicians who came to bilk Money at a gilderay were in one way or another a charlatan Oh, yeah, yeah, pretty much if you could get gild to even half-heartedly say like wow Then you were guaranteed at least a couple of gold coins. All right. I can make them say wow Yeah, how are you gonna make gilderay say wow? But while magicians slid in and out of gild's life for at most a few days at a time A magician named françois prélati settled in for the long game. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 01:01:55 Yeah vivid brilliant Beautiful and charming prélati At first studied to be a priest But claimed to have mastered black magic and alchemy instead by the age of 20 meaning he knew the rules of both sides Oh, yeah, yeah, he could he could appeal to every part of gild's spiritual journey. Okay By the time he met gilderay prélati claimed to be an accomplished necromancer Who had called satan into his service many times over the course of his career tell me more
Starting point is 01:02:23 Oh, but these days prélati claimed to be working exclusively with one demon. Yeah, I got a contract Yeah, I'm kind of one guy one Prélati claimed that with the help of a fritch doctor named Jean de Fontenay He had summoned a demon who appeared as a handsome man in his mid 20s wearing a red cloak named baron Supposedly for the paltry price of a chicken a dove or a pigeon Baron could you try to make a joke there? No, I mean Yeah, he said poultry if he said poultry poultry price. He said poultry price poultry price not
Starting point is 01:03:01 I wasn't trying to make a pun there. I thought you were making fun. I wasn't. Thank you for thinking of me though That is a price of a chicken. I don't want to walk away. The poultry poultry price. I would have walked out. I would have walked out The poultry price of poultry exactly that would have been better. Yeah Dammit, but pigeons pigeons not necessarily poultry the pigeons squab think about what I would write when you write Hahaha Just a bird baron could be summoned at Prélati's will which was a claim that both baffled and impressed gilles de rey Let's just think I love birds. Yeah, that's awesome. Okay. Call me a nest Gilles had come to believe that he just had bad luck summoning demons
Starting point is 01:03:43 Hey, but Prélati told him that the demons were actually ignoring him because de rey had a bad reputation Amongst the damned as a man who promised much to the pit but never delivered It's like when you're when you're trying to talk to somebody who's on like farmer date.com Maybe like listen You need to put the hunting picks Up top For a farmer I'm looking at your old like summon demon tender bullshitter You need to put a couple of these bird picks
Starting point is 01:04:10 Up top because demons love these fucking birds. So the demons are mad that he's not doing enough bad stuff No, that he's well, they're not given enough They're not even that the what are they given enough is that he told them that Supposed that he told them that he would give them something and that he never followed Yeah, it was a demon one. It could have been a bird. It really seriously could have been nothing more than a pigeon What's the thought? Well, Prélati, yeah, what is going on? Why are these demons like this? It's about a demon valentine's day that I'm fucking missing. You kind of like you do sort of need to you have to court You have to court these demons if you want them in there. You got to give out gifts. You have to do these things
Starting point is 01:04:47 See this is the issue Kissel it's about stopping and thinking for just a moment for someone outside of yourself You know who'd love this magnet baron You know who'd love this yeah being like when you're in the airport You see the like, you know, like best demon supplicant All right, just even just that being like you're thinking of him. Yeah, that's it. That's just a little thing Just a little reminder just a little thing. All right, fine Well, I think what Prélati was trying to say was like all these other magicians you've been working with
Starting point is 01:05:19 They've been doing it wrong and because they've been doing it wrong. You've got a bad reputation So now you're talking to me bud. You're talking to a guy who's got a demon on tap. Wow. Okay I fixed James Franco with the demons great I'm working on tom sighs where he's dead. He's dead. He might be a demon now actually Now Prélati had always kept his promises to demon kind so he stayed at the low low price of a bird He never had to get more than a bird Oh, just one bird
Starting point is 01:05:44 But Prélati told gil that since he'd broken his promises in the past whether it was his fault or not He had to make up for it was something far more important a little boy Now it's unknown how much Prélati knew about gilderay's proclivities when he made this suggestion But he might as well have asked you to pick up a fucking gallon of milk on the way home from work for all the effort It took him to sacrifice a child to the devil. Oh, no shit What? Actually, oh, that's it. It'll be more difficult in that time period to get a gallon of milk This is kind of one of those things where I think that Prélati
Starting point is 01:06:17 Definitely knew what was up And there was we'll get into a little bit more about their relationship about whether or not it was one of those where you give A little sucky sucky to the big guy, right and you go like I'm just a little guy You know, I'm just a little boy You know, I mean you do that thing to get him going right but then but he just asked he's like but for this It's like we'll just need some children's parts. Yeah, but the way he said it he said it kind of like You know Yeah, I mean fucking gil showed up to the next session with a hand a heart the end the eyes and the blood of a little boy
Starting point is 01:06:50 Questions at 3 p.m. Yeah That's a lot. I'll get you a heart by 3 p.m. Yeah, and Prélati didn't question Whereas you'll have sourced any of these ingredients and instead began the summoning Still nothing happened. Nothing happened. He brought you the heart the eyes the hand the hand come on What else do you need? You said at least they're doing something with it. Yeah, Prélati could however apparently invoke baron Which considering how baron appeared as a 25 year old man Suggest to me that baron the demon might have just been some guy who hidden the corner and jumped out when he was summoned Yeah, you think that you or what's the other option?
Starting point is 01:07:27 All made up The other option is that Prélati just made it up in order to kind of save his own ass during the trial because he was a practicing black magician Which was punishable by death at the time, but it does seem that those types of like scams To question them would actually mean you're questioning the very nature of God itself Which is in and of itself heretical to do at the time. So I think a lot of times These scams are played out loud and you're kind of forced by societal implications to act like this is real because If I don't yield would not want to do anything taboo
Starting point is 01:08:03 Nothing because you know technically these actions at this point were more just frowned upon. Yeah. Yeah, it is weird that that Game taboo I bought it at target and I opened up. It's just a bunch of a little underwear That's like what the hell yeah, I've returned that this is fucking this this is indeed taboo Why do you still have Why are you pulling it out of your pocket right now? Please just keep it Keep that in your giant wallet. Thank you Now during these summoning sessions Prélati would draw magic circles burn aloe and murr and recite incantations such as this I
Starting point is 01:08:43 conjure you baron satan Belial Beows above by the father the son and the holy spirit by the virgin Mary And all the saints to appear in person So that you may speak to us and fulfill our desires It's me baron. Whoa baron. My whoa. What a mysterious occurrence Yes. Now gil bought all of this completely. He even began writing letters to satan
Starting point is 01:09:13 For Prélati to deliver. All I want for christmas is a sled. Oh wrong wrong No, I was right. You're thinking of Santa. There's no I want this sled to be made out of a child's foreskins That's also Santa Well these letters said that gil would give satan everything he wanted Except for his soul or the shortening of gil's life I think he was hinting that he'd offer up the souls of children. Sure. If you want me to kill children I'll do that all day long. I got that last one. Just don't ask my soul Just don't ask for my life to be shorter. Very fritty Kruger
Starting point is 01:09:49 Yeah, however, I will say that it actually took a while for baron to appear in front of gil At first there was no baron at all and Prélati said that he only appeared when gil wasn't in the room Oh, like when you're gone. He comes whenever I walk out. He's like crazy He's hanging out. He's here, but that's the way that works. Still got a bad reputation So we got to rehabilitate your reputation then you'll come and eventually baron did appear with gil presen It was probably after gil began to hint that if it didn't work soon If you didn't see something too, then Prélati could get the fuck out And also I think that at that point father Prélati if he was asked to get the fuck out
Starting point is 01:10:26 He would probably be murdered. Maybe but I don't see gil as like he doesn't murder men Yeah, he doesn't like him in battle because straight up it's because the kids are easier. Yeah, kids are easier But once baron appeared gil was finally after all this time able to ask a demon for gold. That's great. That's cool Yeah, it's just first of all, he needs to be talking to a leprechaun He doesn't even have the right answer because you have to deceive a leprechaun and then and then they just constantly come Is that no, you don't always have to deceive a leprechaun. I'm currently burning through leprechaun the entire like lexicon of leprechaun right now That's the movie series. Uh, that's canon. It is literally the bible for leprechaun Honestly, leprechaun the movie series is just as valid as irish folklore
Starting point is 01:11:07 If you're an entire you see I'm in doublets I'm not gonna go against tort davis and my boy But it is the same because again because they get really mad because it's the whole thing you're supposed to get their gold if you find it but You didn't ask the leprechaun really Yeah, but you know, there are some deaths at the leprechaun granted those people like when he guy walked into that fan with his face He got it all chopped up, right? But he thought it was a big set of titties. So for him. I mean, you know He got deceived he got deceived but then he got hit but I was like if you're gonna die
Starting point is 01:11:34 It's not that bad. He needs his gold. Yes. I mean leprechaun is awesome. Okay. So when you're in hospice I'll make sure as you're dying to just have a Big thing that I'm just gonna put I'm just gonna put a fucking titties up on a projector Now when you come on the ceiling on the ceiling, so you don't even you don't even have to look at you just look straight up And that can be the last thing you see. Sure. Yes. Credibly. Yes. I want some All right. It's okay. Well, supposedly yes Baron gave Freilati a vision of a room full of gold but told them not allowed to touch the gold just yet No, that's for Scrooge mcduck. Yeah
Starting point is 01:12:08 And gil asked if he could see too So Freilati led him to the room where the gold was supposed to be but when gil entered the room Yeah, he cleaned full of gold. No, he saw a big snake the size of a dog It ain't all the gold. Yeah I feel like there's a whole this was built up to something else. I don't know whether or not this is a snake the size of a dog Yeah, and it was hence in production. I don't know what this was Well gil got scared and ran away gil is a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's scared of magic Yeah, he's scared of a lot of stuff other than killing children apparently oddly though the room was filled with something that appeared to be colored gold
Starting point is 01:12:47 But it turned out that it was just some other substance covered in a tawny colored power. See what probably pollen I mean, he must have been freilati must have been working with gil's people too I think at some point just being like they're all trying to benefit a bunch of fucking rocks. Yeah So outside of reality. Oh, there is something To that word everybody pray like tea knows what he's doing. Yes, he does and all of the crew around him knows what he's doing He and gilderay at this point is like a slobbering maniac Yeah, and they know what they're doing because they're starting to fight amongst one another. Yes, I mean pray like tea. He supposedly Received a beating from some demon just like the previous man magician had but as it turned out this beating was handed out by father
Starting point is 01:13:29 Andrei blanche the priest who had first been tasked with finding magicians blanche had gotten jealous because he'd been excluded From all magical operations. He wanted to be in the room priest fight Yeah, and prela tea told gil that blanche was not to be trusted and as it turned out Prela tea was right because I would imagine prela tea is a very good judge of human nature Blanche was the first to betray gil at his trial But even so prela tea and gil continued working together until gils capture although it was all of course in vain Well, it's just like you're just surrounded by villains. Yeah, I don't think they're all not going to consume each other and then eventually consume you Yes
Starting point is 01:14:08 Now when the alchemy didn't work out for gilderay his financial fortunes only got worse and the other nobles who wanted his lands castles and assets began making moves Chief among them was john the fifth the duke of britney who wanted gils lands because they were important strategically supremely So this is the the hook here. Yeah about gilderay. Is he innocent or not? What is the what are the motives? Well who benefits from gilderay going down? They want his lands. Yeah, but they know like he's hammering money Yeah, it's he is and he is doing what is what this is where I feel like the true trends aggression amongst his peers Is is that as a landed noble? There's a certain sense of seems to be maybe I'm incorrect
Starting point is 01:14:51 This is my opinion, but it from what I read so I might be incorrect But who knows that it seems that the idea is that Because we are above society And we are the ones that are literally holding the structure of countries together We're supposed to operate a certain way, right? Like and this concept of you taking what has been new generations Put together tracks of land that we have been a part of that We have been like also using and that part of this kind of global community of nobles that have been working together are watching you Flush everything down a toilet. Yeah, right and this shit, which is being which is extremely sensitive areas for you
Starting point is 01:15:32 You're watching this guy Start to really Mesh it up. Yeah, and he's breaking all these unspoken rules What do we do with this guy? Because again, he's a landed noble It is very difficult to move against the landed noble because you need a bunch of reasons Like, you know, you need like was it cost his belly? Whatever the whatever he's killing and raping a bunch of kids That's the thing. That's not good enough. It's it's Only if it's a part of a whole it's like a part of it
Starting point is 01:16:01 That's like one thing they can use a little piece. Well, that can be like the once you catch him and once you arrest him That can be the main activation. It's like it's it's their version of getting somebody or tax evasion for bigger christ messing with people's money Yes, he is and it's not and that's the thing is that yeah, these people did want his lands But that does not necessarily mean the gilderay was not a child murderer Yes, like it's those two things are not mutually exclusive. They can want his lands and he can't be a child murderer Oh Yeah, at the same time one of giles anything you want to be
Starting point is 01:16:32 That's what this is all about. This whole story is about Well, at the same time one of giles long-term servants left his service and soon after the local peasantry began whispering About the terrible crimes that have been committed on gilderay's many estates. How'd they do that without social media? Bards. Oh, they would talk. Yeah, they would talk they would whisper. What suck? Suck the sounds of suck The hills are filled with the sounds of suck The song is actually very political. It's a political satire. Well, the first real threat to gile, however Came when he made the church truly angry. Uh-oh and may of 1436
Starting point is 01:17:12 Gilles kidnapped his old tutor a priest named michel de fontanet For publishing a royal edict against gile presumably for the trouble he'd made in creating the church of the holy innocence Father fontanet was thrown in a dungeon for his troubles and was only released when the local bishop Demanded his release Gile of course gave in without anyone really knowing what giles actual plan may have been It didn't seem that there seemed to be no plan It was just an impulse because he gained nothing from this entire episode except the further animosity of the church That's the thing keeps pressing these buttons. Yeah, and everyone's again being like stop
Starting point is 01:17:49 Like isn't the church like you're being extra. None of us know why you're being like this Especially his family his family is all of his families saying like fucking stop it and they're hearing like they're because they're no like Jean the fifth is moving against the ray to take control of his strategically important lands Gile, however, was either unaware or unruffled because he still believed that he was going to discover the secret of the Philosopher's stone that would give him unlimited wealth. I'm gonna get us all out of this boy Well, it's big of true. You know if you did it would be fantastic. That's what they're all saying. Yeah, he's he's elizabeth holmes Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, such he abandoned all interest in his estates and signed over power of attorney to his cousin Robert de breeca v who had been one of the family members who would source children for gil
Starting point is 01:18:34 And interestingly two people testified in gil's trial that five years before gil's arrest They lodged a complaint with robert de breeca v because they discovered a pipe full of dead children At the castle shanty not knowing that robert was one of the men who provided gil with these children jesus Now concerning those bodies It was said in the trial that when gil lost control of his castle at mash gul to john the fifth He panicked and ordered his servants to dispose of the bones of about 40 children from a tower near the lower halls of the castle Allegedly two noble ladies watched the removal and showed nor felt any horror or disgust at what they saw Beyond the normal human reaction to decomposing flesh. They were far more concerned
Starting point is 01:19:19 It was said that gil had lost the control of the castle to john the fifth Well, it's because it was their home and it was where they worked. It's where it was their entire lives and so The more people he was fucking over with what he was doing the more people started, but still You know as a as a helping class in this time period I can't stick myself in the middle of these situations or i'm gonna end up in that fucking pipe too Yeah, like we're all just Decomposing flesh to this guy. This is again saying if all of this is real It's if all of this is real and i also don't think that gil deray would have
Starting point is 01:19:55 I don't know if he was a murderer of men and women, but i'm saying you but You could see how you think you think there's 40 children the bodies of 40 children being taken off from the walls of this castle So this guy might be dangerous. Yes. He definitely slayed in the theater Serving much I collapsed back, but it's the This happened several times it again. Is this real or is it not? I I don't know. It's a lot of people saying that he'd sell a castle. It's hundreds of people saying I mean, it's probably just freak out. They go run. They clean it out of bodies and shit
Starting point is 01:20:28 Yeah, what else would you do screwing around trying to figure out what did it is while he's also like And that costs money too. Yeah, this is like the most human part of yeah, you got to clean it out Yes, and once the bodies were taken away They were burned in a huge pyre in the presence of gil his cousin his two man servants and his two priests And what ashes were left from this pyre they were tossed into the water pipes at the castle chum tea Now you may say that there was no way that these bodies could have been burned to nothing but ash Without leaving something behind. There's no way these bodies could have been burned to ash without leaving something behind Thank you. Thank you. And if you said that just like ben said it then you'd be on the side of the movement defending gilderay's innocence
Starting point is 01:21:08 Motherfucker. I didn't know what I was saying. You apologize. I was under duress See no bones or clothes or anything was found at any of gild's properties by authorities as far as we know It's not a matter of record Concerning the many many disappearances It is the defender's contention that there is no more evidence that more children went missing around gilderay than in any other area during that time period because it was after all an age of death It was full of plagues and wars. It was also the little ice age famine Oh, yes, you got famine and the hundred years war just ripped its way through the entire country
Starting point is 01:21:43 Then that was uh 116 years over three distinct periods And so there yes, there was a lot of destabilization in the area But just also to me again, but that also For me provides another smokescreen of why he was able to then hide everything because he had the time and the resources But you know, let's not forget one of the most popular pastimes was the hunger games And then uh, my god, yes, how many stocks pots you can fill with bones? To make as much soup as possible. Probably a lot grind his bones to make my bread. Yes, probably a lot Soak his bones to make my soup. Yes. Mmm bone broth. I'm hungry. Well, therefore according to the defenders
Starting point is 01:22:23 40 children going missing over the course of eight years would not have been an alarming or unusual number Which I will admit is a compelling if difficult to prove argument Yes, it's just I think it's as difficult as to prove as the other side Yeah, and indeed many more children than 40 may have gone missing because peasants and especially peasant children Were seen by the nobility as lower beings who weren't even supposed to have emotions It was however said that two of yield array's family members found child skeletons after the supposed cleanup of the crime scenes But they did little more than lightly question two of yield servants before dropping the matter entirely Yeah, because to be honest
Starting point is 01:23:02 Do you want to be the one to be like tell everybody look what I found when you have a man that is So both sides for me hold water where it's like I could see why you'd think like why it doesn't make sense Why there wouldn't be evidence, but I could also see that there's a heavy motivation For someone who finds evidence to not bring it forward Yeah See the yield's family their duty was to the property and it was no more their duty to protect the peasants Then it would be to tend to the pigs and horses in fact the horses were probably held in higher esteem than the peasants Yes, but this castle at mash kool was not the only place where yield was murdering children
Starting point is 01:23:39 There was also the aforementioned castle chantsy See gil had also sold chantsy to john the fifth the duke of britainy And he therefore again had to remove all evidence of his crimes before handing the keys over to the duke, right? yield's servant enrié greer Said that they had only two days to clean up the mess And since there wasn't enough time to burn the bodies of dozens of children hidden in one of the towers three of yield's servants stuffed the dead children into chests Tossed them on a boat and floated them down the river to parts unknown. Oh my good supply chains. It's a way to do it
Starting point is 01:24:18 Now once john the fifth had control over the castle chantsy He had no use for yield So it was time to get rid of him for good and you can get those last Little pieces left. Let's suck up everything else. He's got John the fifth joined forces with the bishop who was pissed at yield for kidnapping the priest And a guy who was still mad at gil about some shit that happened over a decade earlier during the hundred years war Okay, now john the fifth and the others didn't particularly care that gil was murdering peasant children any more than they would have cared If he was fucking and murdering sheep. Yeah, they don't care. They don't give a they don't give an h
Starting point is 01:24:53 They probably would have cared more if he was fucking sheep I didn't see was fucking the sheep. You're like, you need the sheep for mutton. Yeah, that's all full of cum That's not good. I'm gonna have to scream all the way I want to share it for the clothes, but this triumvirate knew that if they could brand him as a criminal Then they could confiscate all of his remaining lands and assets. Oh, yeah They have this because and they were like, okay What do we know about gil? And I do believe that that's where there's a part of this where you're like
Starting point is 01:25:19 All right, it's time to pull the pedophile button time to pull the like he's he we're all done with it We all know what he does, right? We're all sick of it, right? We've all done it with him Wait, what was that? Yeah, we've all been there. I mean probably most of them have. Oh, sure. And so john the fifth ordered a discreet Investigation into gil de ray's sex life and gil did not disappoint Over the next couple of months gil raped and murdered a teenager at a hotel in norm Then raped and murdered another in a convent in And this is all from witness testimony and people talking about kids basically going into a room with him and not coming up
Starting point is 01:25:55 But on the other hand, this is all also witness testimony by people hired by john the fifth Sure. So that in itself makes it somewhat suspect. Okay. Was there a glove that did or not that fit on his hand? I mean he had to gauntlet. Okay. Well days later gil made a big show of saying that he was going to change his sinful ways He was going to make a pilgrimage into the holy land. So he cleans himself Uh, well at least to his crew, you know, this is the thing is that this is This is that is real So there are interior things that gil de ray is doing To also show that whatever it is that he feels guilty about
Starting point is 01:26:29 He's going to try and fix. He's telling everybody. He's like, I'm I'm going to rehab. Yeah, I'm going to rehab He's doing the thing. I'm going to sex. I'm addicted to sex. Oh, I'm addicted. He's doing what david decovney did You remember when he had a bag for all of our preventive? Decovney, let's not bring him into this. I'm just saying it's actual dynamo from what I've heard Yeah, I hear that too. It's more like against kevin spacey. Yeah. Oh very much Yeah, it's again like kevin spacey but instead of going to the holy land He raped and killed a 13 year old boy and he killed these two young brothers that he just found That was just because that was his he didn't we didn't know that was code
Starting point is 01:27:02 Going to the holy land was code for him doing. Yeah, right At the same time gil had returned to raiding the countryside in direct opposition to what king charles the seventh wanted from his nobles See remember before where I said that you know going into the hundred years were the third face of the hundred years That the all the front the french kingdoms were many different kingdoms It was not one unified front It was a bunch of different nobles with their own little villages their own You know little castles and so on and so forth and apparently I was right when I said that similar to it'll Ah, very good. Wow. That's nice. Good job, henry. You know what? I didn't tell you you were wrong
Starting point is 01:27:36 I just said I didn't know if you were right But then that's something someone told me was right. That's good. That's very good. I'm happy for you You do have you do you do have that good boy look on your face right now You got it, buddy. Well by this time the king was trying to end all that He was trying to legitimize his role by forming a standing royal army Instead of having to rely on private armies paid for by nobles like gilderay. He didn't want to depend on people like him anymore He's realizing this might be these liabilities that I have to deal with or actually getting their pile or not Yeah, and we're not going to say that like gilderay was the impetus for this decision
Starting point is 01:28:16 But he was certainly the largest example of what was wrong with the system In other words, european feudalism was coming to an end and this of course is one of the other things That lays at the heart of the conspiracy theory surrounding shield In addition to john the fifth doing his damndest to snatch gilderay's lands and castles king charles the seventh I think needed to make an example of someone. Yes And a worthless troublemaker would have made the perfect target to show the rest of the nobles That if they didn't fall in line with what king charles wanted to do with france Then their more nefarious habits might come to light as well. Well, mr. King charles. You think you've got me against the wall, don't you?
Starting point is 01:28:53 baron attack baron baron That was a mad he's on lunch. Yes. I think that was a mad It's now even though gill had lost control of mush cool. This is he's still asked to stay there Still a nice room Well, perhaps there had been a flurry of activity rumors were quickly spreading amongst the local populace that gill was a child Murderer who openly practiced magic, which he was. Hey, I'm a successful child murderer I am unsuccessful in practice
Starting point is 01:29:35 Practicing but to them he wasn't killing children for pleasure. That's not what they thought he was doing that to them was beyond They believe that he was writing a book using the blood of the children he killed Well, now we're saying like once we get to once you're past the lip of we think he's killing kids Everything else you can kind of see why the imagination leads its way to runs Was there an ink shortage or something? No, you had to write the book in the blood of children So you could get the attention of the devil the book of shadow when you get the attention of the devil If he was able to complete the book then he would have the power to take any castle He wanted because he would be invulnerable
Starting point is 01:30:14 Everyone knows that the devil only reads I'm trying to think as a courier Maybe just think about a funny joke if you're out there and you know fonts fonts um He doesn't read ariel. He only reads times new roman times new roman You know, he only read he didn't even get him started on comic sands. There you go or papyrus Oh, god, honestly most satanists. I know are into like car repair They're appealing to the right to repair movement Yeah, it's because we're all our own kingdoms and our own gods and we need to handle our own territory
Starting point is 01:30:44 Right to is up and taken away the right to repair your own car. Oh, you see John Deere? Yeah The farmers just fought for that and they finally got it. Yeah, it is actually a very big deal And I'm on the side of the satanist when it comes to right to repair because I'm also on the side of the farmers I'm on the side. I am as well the right to repair. See he's a fear in his eyes. I saw the fear of the farmer I saw it. I saw it. He's afraid of willy nelson's binge I know and yet even though gill was under investigation He continued killing children or at least it was a funny little coincidence that children seem to be going missing wherever he happened to go
Starting point is 01:31:18 Okay, however, it wasn't child murder that got gill arrested rather the downfall of gilderay had to involve something That could be proven some grand event something that the nobility could get behind Something that could take away all of gills money and power and that occurred when gill engaged in banditry for the last time In 1439, this is one of my big arguments is that they didn't even need the child murdering Like charge they didn't even need it. They already had something on him to fucking do a fully bust them up What is banditry when your when your stepdad joins the steely dad cover band named steely tom or or some other thing? It's been a longer series than I Oh, it's like well acting on the advice of the demon baron
Starting point is 01:32:12 Yeah, he's just the guy now. He's hanging out. Okay. No prela prela tea is still there and like and so gill is like What do I do? What do I do here? What do I do now? Because now honestly, I've hired baron. Yeah, he's hanging out And he's just hanging out being like, is this your cereal like he's that duties like of the third We had that in our apartment in telehassee. I remember when we let our buddy pale and Let his weird friends start to like it started like they just want to sleep in the couch Yeah, but eventually let the boys sleep in your bed. They're just hanging out and they're they're eating your stuff They're all the time the mirrors off the bathroom They would like to do at all
Starting point is 01:32:46 Henry must have been so so angry when he saw them eating all of his food. I know Broke Oh They've been fucking a lot I had nothing and the man that was supposed to be the first stage manager for murderfest He had deceived and malice tattooed on his arms and then he stole my last package of baloney That is real and then miss disappeared in the night He was real that is a problem
Starting point is 01:33:20 Oh Again acting on the advice of the demon baron Gilles decided to gather 70 men and retake the castle at sainte-an-tien. They marry more From john the fitz treasurer after gil had sold it to him. It's kind of like he was like, you know what man? I used to be fucking hardcore. Yeah. Yeah, like I used to do this shit, man Why am I sitting here? Why am I playing with money when he's fake, bro? Yeah, I should just go fucking get my shit. Yeah, but he sold all of his rights to everything. Of course But but he wanted to retake it. No, it's fucking mine, bro
Starting point is 01:33:53 It's one of those things where it's like no you cheated me you cheated me I sold it to you but you cheated me So now I have the right to take it back and he burst into the church riding a horse with a double-edged battle Yeah, yeah, and he allegedly shouted quote you leaving scoundrels You have beaten my men in extorted money from them come outside the church or I'll lay you out dead Wow bold statement very bold He then captured the brother of john the fitz treasurer and he captured a priest and he threw both of them into a dungeon Before taking control of the castle himself
Starting point is 01:34:26 thereby committing three transgressions that together Were enough to bring gilderay down. Wow by marching into the church. He'd violated ecclesiastical property by imprisoning the priest He defended church law by dispossessing the owner He'd attacked a member of john the fitz household and when you combined all that into one Gilles enemies had all they needed to move against him. Wow, and he hit somebody when he was going down the scheme That was the worst part and his keys went between the her legs and he could have grown to have heard the groan The groan So this out of all the horrible things this man has done it's trespassing and false imprisonment of a douche bag
Starting point is 01:35:06 Yes, yeah trespassing false imprisonment and a little bit of assault. Yeah. Yeah Well, john the fifth led me to find that gilles couldn't pay So all of his property and everything he gained through battle or by inheritance Gone in an instant. Wow Then an official inquiry was set in motion to collect evidence from people who had lost children Wherever gilderay had hung his hat gilles. Meanwhile knew nothing of the child murder investigation So after you mean my hobbies or a crime? How is it a crime?
Starting point is 01:35:35 So after a meeting with john the fifth that went particularly badly gilles indulged himself by having his man's servant Henrié take three children into a field outside of town so he could kill him I'm just so stressed out because you just get three of those choir boys out there. I gotta see some blood Maybe when he's in their blood room, it's my blood gilles then spent a short time in the country at the estate of a man named Lémoire where gilles met with his priest andré boucher boucher soon sourced a 10 year old boy for gilles to rape and murder And when gilles had done so figure probably not a good idea to burn it on this guy's property It's not my house
Starting point is 01:36:13 So the corpse was tied to its own belt and lowered into the house's cesspool The body however did not sink all the way under so man's servant Poitou had to be lowered into the shit pit to shove the corpse under with his hands and feet I thought you could say rescue the boy. No, no Evidence no no and that made one of gilles last murders particularly degrading. That's his second to last murder Finally on july 29th 1440 an edict was published against gilles Deray proclaiming that he with certain accomplices had slaughtered murdered and massacred in the most odious fashion several young boys Then had oftentimes taken pleasure against nature and practiced the vice of sodomy against them
Starting point is 01:36:59 It was also proclaimed that he oftentimes made packs with the devil through child sacrifice It's a very casual way of saying it. Yeah, although that one sort of incidental Cajil did the vast majority of his murder outside of his black magic practice Can you imagine that being that having to yell at everybody being like no listen my black magic had nothing to do With the kids. I was trying to make movies Yeah, I think it all kind of goes together at this point But once this edict was published gilles thought to hell with it Let's do one more and he assaulted murdered and incinerated a young boy
Starting point is 01:37:31 Who just entered into a service after gilles had his servant by the boy a new doublet And these are the ones that hold the most water. Yeah, these last ones are the ones like the flag Yes, all the eyes are on him and like These are the ones that he is doing and now his his crew knows we're all being investigated But they're all kind of just locked in they're all just it was different I don't know how to put it because it's not like nowadays where the fbi you'll see them Like the car out front and stuff That's how you know if you're being tracked of a fucking wi-fi signal shows up that you don't recognize inside of your home
Starting point is 01:38:04 Is a good way to actually if you just really fucking think about who's looking for you What if your neighbor just gets a new router you fucking know fbi tap bro go over there and ask them what's going on Give me the password dude. Let me send you a fax then Okay, well let's not scare the audience So they don't know that they're fully investigating maybe maybe that's part of what it or maybe they're just like I mean, I don't know like maybe this is you'll get out of gilles gonna figure us out He's gonna get us out. Well by this time he doesn't have castles to hide behind anymore So he's so everywhere the gilles goes he goes to a town
Starting point is 01:38:41 Someone gets murdered a young boy gets murdered. He goes to another town young boy gets murdered everywhere He's going a young boy gets murdered the only other explanation is that one of Jean the fifths men is following gilderay and murdering young boys Wherever is to frame him which is honestly? Which one of these is more likely as his defense attorney? Let's talk about the word co-wink-a-dunk It could be a coin. No, I don't maybe I'll be a small contrary lord A co-wink-a-dunk is what uh, I'll just tell you something I'll suck them around to us I'll pull into a co-wink-a-dunk and then he can be like look at the shrubbery. It's longer And yeah, so my mama my mama is four hundred and seventy five pounds then
Starting point is 01:39:22 But yeah, just because she eats a hunger jack meal four or five single six seven times a day That's co-wink-a-dunk. How could I find him guilty his lawyer so far? Well after that gilles was finally arrested on september 15th 1440 because all the rest of the stuff that just took away all of his money, right which is important Yeah, which is big. I mean this is big. I mean he could he could just be kicked to the curb But yeah, they finally it's like okay. He's been murdering a lot of children. It's pretty obvious now His two cousins they disappeared soon after Quite a few others they said there were 16 accomplices. I think they ended up catching like five or six
Starting point is 01:39:58 I think I have actually I think I'm eating a flu. I better go. I'm just gonna go now Yikes But the priest blanche the magician prelati and the man's servants poitou and on rea were captured as was the roaming witch known as the terror Yeah, she's cool. Just lame. Mm-hmm Gilles public trial began within a month and a formal indictment of 49 paragraphs was read 34 of which enumerating gilles murderous crimes in great detail while also outlining all of the Sacrilegious dealings he'd had with various sorcerers and heretics now that it's piling on too
Starting point is 01:40:32 Yeah, I do see that that's where you can have a little bit suspicion because they are there's stuff in it Yeah, try to like get them. They're trying to find trying to get them on something Yeah, and they're making it sound as horrible as they possibly can. Yeah, this sounds pretty horrible. Yeah They're exaggerating even what's already horrible. They're exaggerating even that but that's how they got to the exaggerations Yeah, was that there was something for it to grow from but you know, but this points to a lot of people That's where like the exaggerating part My thing is that again, absolutely if you give but truly if you get Epstein bought an island to have sex on yes, you know, I mean like it is there is there is a precedent
Starting point is 01:41:10 Yes, Tom Hanks Tom Hanks collects typewriters There's a difference You can look to twitter boys You can look at the things that men do and you can extrapolate from the things that men do into what you know possibly they may do Yes, what yeah, what humans may do Oh, now the innocent side claims that the main focus of the plot against gilles de rey was the legal land snatch But there were also political reasons. That's my wife But there were also political reasons for smearing gilles as a pedophilic child murderer
Starting point is 01:41:41 See the hundred years war wasn't over just yet by the time gilles went on trial And the duke of britney had close ties with the english throne duke of britney, of course was john the fifth Gilles de rey was of course still closely linked with Joan of Arc as this was before he was eradicated from her history Joan meanwhile was still considered a heretic by some It's been and even some in france particularly Burgundians Ball over she beat the hell of it didn't she and Charles the seventh had been crowned king But he was still a little wobbly therefore if gilles were to be found guilty
Starting point is 01:42:15 Then it could be said or at least whispered that king Charles the seventh owed his throne to the heretic Joan of Arc and the black magician child murderer gilles de rey And as it was gilles did refuse to even reply to the charges when he was first brought before the court Oh, yeah, saying that the judges had no authority over him But after gilles was quote put to the question which was the medieval term for legal torture gilles changed his mind Oh, yeah, the when the inquisition showed up that is fun because it's kind of like if you dropped John Wayne gasey into guantanamo bay, right? He wouldn't do well
Starting point is 01:42:50 But you don't mean like you have this guy that is if this is real because this is my take is that if he is this kind of Like psychopath warrior child murderer, but then you just been like, okay We'll talk to a couple members from the inquisition and then you can even go like, well, let's just think about it Let's think about it. Yeah, this is of course another point taken by the innocent side The gilles was coerced into a false confession by torture But on the other hand, I don't know if this necessarily washes because gilles was after all a seasoned battlefield veteran He was an absolute demon by all accounts who could take pain So it seems weird that he couldn't survive torture for longer than a day. Well, it's I mean
Starting point is 01:43:28 In the transcript with this is where the issue is it's stuff where It is both a highly like detailed transcript of the trials There are also parts that are left out and what we do know about the way things are transported because there was no Sonographer now they are written from memory after the fact so everyone you hear kind of a bass and you rip it up So what there is a pause in the coverage the inquisition shows up There's like a day where it's never said Implicitly that he was tortured. We are inferring that he was tortured But there's some people there's the other side that they think that he wasn't tortured at all and this was a
Starting point is 01:44:03 Negotiational tactic of like if you give us a win for the church if basically plead guilty We will not desecrate your corpse when you die And we will you can legally tell everyone you're going to heaven Yeah, basically we will allow you to die as a christian Yes, we'll allow you to die And so there's this moment of time I mean like so was he coerced by actual physical punishment Or is it just appealing to his like this weird inner spiritual thing that he has said before that i'm trying to fight for my
Starting point is 01:44:33 Immortal soul, I don't know I mean it could also be that you'll just finally realize that the game was up There's no point in prolonging the inevitable Why am I going to go through days and days and days of torture when I know what's going to happen at the end? It's already done. It's done. Yeah, the torture is bad. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be tortured one day is a lot Yeah, one day. Oh, no, and it's old school now. Yeah, I've seen those museums. Yeah, it's the pair. It's the rack Oh, it's the wheel and you kind of think for a while like that's the other thing is that I kind of weirdly think you'd like it No, I don't think so
Starting point is 01:45:03 Maybe very scary Well, to that pair is scary. Yeah, they're all pretty scary Well to that point during the trial gil agreed that he had killed children But had only done so for eight years not the 14 that he'd been accused of but on the other hand Gil might have also said this to save the reputation of jonah bark because if he admitted to all 14 years Then that meant that he was murdering children while he was at the side of a saint. Yeah, so he wanted eight is enough It is enough, but he also he wanted to yes I think that there was something about preserving that time period too for himself
Starting point is 01:45:35 Yeah gil also denied sacrificing children to the devil and said that he committed his crimes quote In accordance with his own imagination and thought following no man's counsel But his own solely for his pleasure and carnal delight and with no other end in view and to me That is a fucking classic serial killer confession. Oh, yeah being like the zombie. It's well put. Oh, yeah, very well put But it is I mean you hear those confessions in modern times, right? That's how that was btk's Absolutely, and then
Starting point is 01:46:05 Dispassionately talking about all of the details. Yeah, one by one gil's accomplices when they could be found They gave their confessions and they were condemned to death chief among them bought through an enri a that's my one thing is that like They all knew they were going to death. Yeah, like so if you're yeah, what's the point? Yeah, why are you what there's There's no point to like I know that you're trying to save yourself in one way shape or four You're trying to save yourself But still like you all know you're going to death. Why throw everybody under the bus? Yeah for no reason Yeah, well, you want to have fun. It was fun to bring people with you It's hard because you're also getting people are just screaming at you
Starting point is 01:46:45 You know, I mean like it's not a fun process the trial. Yeah Well, poitou and enri a along with gilderay. They were sentenced to be hanged and burned on October 26th 1440 gil, however asked that he be hanged and burned first quote so that he might set a good example Are you a hung then burned or burned then hung hung then burned? I hanged. I thought it was burned then hanged. I believe it is hanged Then body is burned body is burned because I one of the things that I read so that his body was lit on fire And then they hung him, but that also sells you ropes probably going to burn too. That's possible I'm on your side. Henry. Thank you
Starting point is 01:47:26 Well, he also wanted his men to know that he wasn't going to try and escape their shared fates Oh, yeah, and then again, I'm the and also who's the star here, baby? That's right. Yeah Yeah, but geo was hanged geo was burned and after he died his body was removed and laid out by four noble ladies of the town Who pampered his dead body as it had been pampered in life. He still died a noble Oh, yeah, because they get and that was his plea deal As far as the other accomplices went the magician pray lati was condemned to life in prison because magic was very much illegal I mean it was publicly uh people used it and talked about it, but it was still like illegal It's like weed smoking then. Yeah, you had probably just want to be killed anyway life in prison probably sounds horrible there
Starting point is 01:48:08 No, no, it was bad But he did manage to escape. Oh, but he was later hanged for unrelated crimes never stop never stop He did good to escape though Yeah, here's an interesting one the priest blanche. He was simply fined and banished from france Finally lemme fray the terror hang yourself in her cell like a nazi. Wow Wow, it's also ebstiny. Yeah, very ebstiny And as it went gilderay lived on as a french bogeyman for centuries The original blue beard as it were and his castles became dark tourist destinations in the britain region as such in 1992
Starting point is 01:48:46 The britain tourist board commissioned author gerber prothue to write a biography on gilderay to drum up more business Come on. We need more pedophile business Yes But much to the tourist board surprise when prothue published his book He instead made the case that gilderay was innocent. Oh, he was that's first He was the first one to come well prothue is also a famous. How do you put it? He's a mischief maker Yes, a provocateur. He's a provocateur So they handed him this thing expecting him to write a little tourist hit like literally like
Starting point is 01:49:19 Where we can see all the the you know the points of interest of gilderay And he was just like i'm gonna kind of hijack this for myself and i'm gonna prove he's innocent And i'm gonna write a book and i'm gonna sell it across the world Okay, apparently the defense testimonies weren't found in the minutes of the trial The page containing gilderay's confessions weren't signed by the presiding judge and the victim count varied too wildly from 80 to 800 But as far as that last point goes There's a reason behind that it was said to be 80 because his accomplices testified that they had removed 40 bodies from one castle And 40 from another but it was extrapolated to 800 because of the way the indictment had been written
Starting point is 01:50:00 The indictment said that he had more or less for 14 years every month every day every night took killed and cut the throats of children Which is not he was actually he was busier than that. He was He was he definitely didn't he wasn't entirely devoted to that. He had to pick tapestries He was running choreography He was doing a lot of shit at that time for him But perhaps the most important fact brought up by pro too was that king charles the seventh himself Had asked in vain for gilles judgment to be revised just three years after the death of gilderay On that last point, however, I think it may have been more about rehabilitating jonah vark than it was about exonerating gilderay
Starting point is 01:50:40 I know I dug deep into this. So charles the seventh did do that, but it was really it was in and out They fully exonerated jonah vark in 1450. It was like in the early 1450s once france was more unified. So To be on this is my Major kickback is that I feel like they also would have went really far to exonerate Anybody that was remotely attached to jonah vark. Yeah, but instead they did the opposite where they the Truly a real version of cancelled someone which has made sure that they were basically erased From history. Yeah, a period of time They just like caught him out because they couldn't do it because when they went and
Starting point is 01:51:24 Made jonah vark a saint in the 1920s They also tried to exonerate gilderay then and that only lasted for a couple of days because still like 95% of medieval historians They're honest of this the idea of him being innocent is is thought about because of this flaws because these holes in the trial and the coverage of the Trial but 95% of medieval historians still think that he's guilty because of Essentially, it's the church of the holy innocence. Yeah, it's like he public once you make a public Like molestation university. Well, he didn't necessarily he didn't tell everyone. Hey, I'm bringing in kids here in molesting. It just Uh, it was obvious It was very obvious no one wanted because somebody would illegitimate it
Starting point is 01:52:08 You know legitimize it if it was I really do believe that he was too important He had too much money more people would have showed up. You're like, let's make this church legit Yeah, and he could have just given the church like here's a fucking here's a thousand fronks. Yeah Yeah, you can have it you you're a part of it, but he would Catholic church at this time was not what you'd call Fucking ethical. They were uh, they've never been The idea but at that time it was a at least at that point At least the ethics were straightforward and you could just buy shit Yeah, you know what I mean instead of pretending like you needed to worry about your soul or whatever
Starting point is 01:52:40 Well soon after publishing his book broke though hosted a tongue-in-cheek retrial of gilderay at the luxembourg palace in paris This is about 1992 and it ultimately acquitted the world's most notorious child murderer as not guilty. All right Not guilt not guilt boom But while we do certainly respect the people who believed array is innocent in their passion and in their research We ultimately believe that there was just too much blood pooling around the feet of gilderay To say that he was nothing more than a victim of political circumstance He definitely didn't murder 800 children But considering the number of kids who went missing in his presence, especially at the end
Starting point is 01:53:18 It doesn't seem worth it to rehabilitate the image of a child murderer whether the number is one or 100 Yeah, because even if you murder one Everybody gets on your fucking case. Well, absolutely Gilderay there it is. It is a lot. I would know of noblemen gone wrong But I will say that is again. It's what I love about History, especially this time period. I do love that it's about When you're a historian, you're a storyteller. Yeah, and when you go to do this You got to look all these different perspectives in the face and wonder and ask yourself because it's objective knowledge of these time period even
Starting point is 01:53:55 Capable are we even able can we get it? I don't know but that's why the time period even exist I didn't even exist There's a whole series of thoughts saying that we're 300 years earlier than we're supposed to be Yeah, right, but you that's we like read into it Like I'm fascinated by the pushback because I read it I was like we talked about as we went through the research of like there is points here But you know who knows You just never know what if someone is capable of well no sense of decorum and nothing but resources
Starting point is 01:54:23 I think it's important. We trust the legal system. Yeah, and he is guilty Well, he's a murderer and at least he is guilty of wasting during a theatrical production Yeah, which comes out of the actor's pocket. It does and it's unfortunate and he's a horrible person and he's french um, so there we go So that's it And he's french. We're we're fine with france. Yeah. Oh, yeah, french. Yeah, french is cool. All right, france is cool I've been we went to france this year. It's cool. Yeah, honestly though. I barely remember we're the only there for like three days And then I was just mostly like I felt like I was in the
Starting point is 01:54:59 national ampoules european vacation where I like I ran to the loop. That's it. I ran over there That's tiny. Yeah, it's tiny, isn't it? It didn't feel like that Louvre is huge. Oh, the louvre is fucking good. It's different. So fucking massive. All right, everyone Thank you all so much for listening. Thank you for these. Thank you for the great comments gilderay That is it. I think that was a french history. Thanks. Everyone came out to uh wonder con too. It's so much fun So much fucking awesome. Yeah, like it was so cool to go to a fucking con that's like truly Nerd based. It's like it's not about celebrities and it's not about stupid bullshit It's just about having fun and talking about nerdy shit with other nerdy people without, you know, feeling embarrassed about it
Starting point is 01:55:42 It was so really great. So cool. It was just it felt like a legit con, you know what I mean? Like it felt like it was so cool to meet everybody. Well, you know what I like? Less police barricades There's just so many barricades. It's just so scary. You go through it. I'm like Scared a comic con half the time, but this is nice. It was really really fun. So nice Yes, so thank you all so much. Go to get it made dot la slash disaster manatee kissle and i do a side story slide In support of a little project I'm working on. Um, there's a lot of people asking questions Eighth that's April 8th. If you want to buy an alcohol for the show pay attention might stupid ass social media
Starting point is 01:56:14 I'm gonna pump. I'm gonna put it up on the stories I'm just gonna put the most complicated thing we've talked about in this whole series. Yes, it is Just no it's not it's it's not always gonna be like this I'll I will admit like one of the most surprising things about moving to california I've been here for about four or five months now. It's just how fucking Incredibly complicated everything. I mean do you see New York is very similar besides the fucking it. We just don't go to universal The copious amounts of weed is easier. Yeah, that's much easier But yeah, I guess I just got used to the rules of new york city, but yeah here. This is a paffling town
Starting point is 01:56:47 Well, that's not necessarily true though because here you can get wine liquor and beer in the same store Yes, which is very nice. Mm-hmm. It's scratchers. Whoo scratcher That's next California health care is a labyrinth and nightmare. Oh, that's different You don't have to be serious I just get burgers. Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Hope you're doing well out there. Hail yourselves Hail Satan again maghustalations. The times are tough, but honestly, I would rather live now than then Oh, hail me man, because I don't want to fucking go back. I don't want to go to 1400s me man. No, no, no, no. Thank you all
Starting point is 01:57:29 Bye This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to Go to last podcast network.com

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.