Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 532: La Llorona - The Legend of the Weeping Woman

Episode Date: May 19, 2023

This week the boys break down the dark, mythical folktale of the Mexican "boogeywoman" La Llorona, the ghost of a "weeping" mother said to haunt the shorelines of bodies of water across multiple regions of South America. Is it just a parable to keep kids and drunk people away from water, or could it be something... spookier? Let's dive right into it...

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started So a lot of times when we do these shows, right? We guys know everything's off the top I'm listening intently, please. Thank you. Thank you. It's so nice. Have a focus Oh, is it mine ever listen to you? No, no, you're forced to we are all you're all we're all forced to listen to each other Yes But normally when we start one of these we joke about these things we you know like we're off the cuff here We don't like to show up here with too much prepared material comedy wise. Let's just hop right into it

But normally it's kissle that has some, you know, you show up. Oh, I have a good job I know but actually no, no, no, no, this was this is Marcus's joke It's my turn. Whoa when we came up with this whole shit when we said this concept when I said the word and I've never had this It was weird. It was like his clothes more. You know, he had a suede Track suit on I was like, where'd that come from and I saw I saw he was wearing flip flops He had two little dogs with him. Whoa. Well, where do you come because I said, oh, we should do this topic It's really a super super compelling. It's about La Llorona. Yeah, La Llorona. Yeah, I'm working on it No, you're you got it wrong. Okay. I'm working on it. Yeah, and then Marcus said

La Llorona La Llorona It's worse, but guess what I didn't realize afterwards I have a better song parody it happened in my mind Wow, I was pitching this show to a very successful man yesterday. He said he was gonna listen to this episode Mr. Biggs here. All right, Mr. Biggie ready. Here we go. All right First you take your kids and you put them in the river and you put your head down and you make yourself a quiver Every time I cry I make the hoven shiver La Llorona, all right

I don't think that's too fair because I came up with mine off the cuff and Henry has had a week to think of Well, I wrote that down last night. It was very successful. Okay, everyone Today we're discussing La Llorona. Yeah, Rona. Yorona La Llorona. Yorona Yorona There we go. We're keeping all this in This whole episode is about us this whole year honestly, we're trying to do more yeah racing other cultured us Yes How to be, how do we see how you guys see and how do we get into there? And this is a good spooky way into entering the Latin American culture. Absolutely. I'm super excited to get into this

La Llorona is a legendary creature of Mexican descent both urban legend and mythical boogie man. She's a She's a cautionary tale told to children teenagers drunks and Amorous youngsters alike in a variety of ways that all share the singular qualifier of a weeping woman Well, there are thousands of variations on the La Llorona tale to the point where families can have their own versions of the creature That are passed down through the generations Even separate villages in the same province will have different stories of La Llorona It follows different neighborhoods and cities will have different La Llorona interesting La Llorona's comes in a different budget different fashions. You got arctic fever

Oh Down in the cacti your owner. You've got Mountain rush lie. Oh, yeah, cool breeze. My favorite new Mountain Dew cold sore Because each one has been licked by another person who may or may not have a cold sore Well in its simplest form I'm called cold source. They look pretty hot to me Oh, that's a really good pun. That's a good pun. That's a good something. I don't know what it is Listen to this episode right off the top. Mr. Big Technically it's wordplay

Well in its simplest form La Llorona is a cautionary river tale that's supposed to keep kids from drowning It's a lot like the Scottish Kelpie Hundreds of water demons exist through hundreds of cultures any culture that exists or develops near rivers or bodies of water Has something like this. Mm-hmm. Basically that version of La Llorona tells you to not go down to the water by yourself Because there's a scary lady down there. Well, she'll take you away She'll rip you to shreds terrible claws or she's just she just fucking eats you right then and there you disappear And but that is the most simplified version. Yeah of La Llorona. Yeah, but do we really need these tales when alligators exist? We don't need I don't I am scared of sea creatures already

The only problem with kids river creatures kids won't like they're fascinated with animals I think they're like, oh, but you have to do is you got to take a fucking raw chicken You got to go over the river and be like kids. You want to see what's in the river and you watch it go Out of the thing eating a chicken at your hands and be like you ready to go back to the river now Yeah, because at because at the end of the day if you're a kid and you're told that there's a crocodile down there I don't get her. No, you're gonna go look at it. You start thinking maybe that alligator could be my friend Love it. Maybe I could use that alligator to go eat the kids who are beat me up at school every day Has it met me yet? Can't figure out how to assemble the AR 15

I need to get that crock out of the river into my classroom. That's the Disney vacate Disney Disney vacation. Yeah, Disney vacation of school the alligator. Oh, no, the Anthem or pie Anthem and the morphization This is not good. These long words are not good for us. I don't like it But when the story is more complicated La Llorona is a tale of a lover scorned and what may become from a betrayal most bitter This is how that version of the story goes as recounted in an article about La Llorona published in an issue of the Texas Observer. The Texas Observer you have to have big eyeballs. You do also great publication. Yeah in this iteration a beautiful young woman beguiles a rich man and this big shot

Consequently winds and dines the beggarly beauty and then eventually they have kids together and it all happens on the hush-hush And he keeps telling her hey, don't worry one of these days. You're gonna be Mrs. Big Shot Hey, man, it always works out like that Ladies shoot for the moon because sometimes you end up on the dick of a producer Well, look at Queen Camilla Yeah, oh, yeah, that'd be a perfect serious right and all the way to royalty absolutely Well, eventually though the wealthy man gets bored stringing along his sidepiece and he abandons her and he abandons the children He tells her I'm never gonna take you as my wife. Are you fucking stupid? It's some kind of fool or something

I never was I was never gonna do that No This may about to be haunted for the rest of his life. No, it's just pillow talk, baby. Come on Driven insane by the casual cruelty of her love The woman takes her children down to the river and drowns them one at a time Yeah, fucking Neil Young. Yeah, so much like Neil Young. Also. Can we please have Keith Morrison? Just tell us about this story on Dateline. What do you believe? She took her children to the river. What a hunky leathery wallet

But when she sees the dead bodies of her toddlers floating downstream She realizes what she's done and drowns herself thereafter Oh Your last breath should not sound like a turkey trying to survive the knife of Sarah Palin Her soul soon arrives at the pearly gates She stands in front of st. Peter and st. Peter asks Hey, where are your children young woman? Miserable she lies

Oh, wait, I do not know. I don't know. I'm not doing hilarious Wait, but why didn't the kids go to the pearly gates the kids didn't go to heaven She drowned her kids and God sent them to hell. That's what they got possibly purgatory They may not have been baptized. They have the opportunity. No, no, no, if you are drowned Baptized no matter what. Yeah, no, I would imagine the children are probably Impergatory or st. Peter's just fucking with her the kids might be hiding in there Yeah, the kids might be hiding behind st. Peter like Let me lie by omission st. Peter. Yeah, the two kids are just both sitting on gilderay's knees

In heaven. No, I himself. Gilderay is not in heaven. Well, she can't even apologize at the very end. I know she's miserable She's lies. She says, I don't know where they are. So st. Peter sends her back to earth Cursing her to wander forever as a restless soul until she finds the bones of her children The woman's spirit then returns to earth as lie, your owner Eternally weeping and wailing while wandering the riverbanks of Mexico and Texas until she finds those bones But until that day comes little boy That's you. I am the little boy. La your owner made you settle for you Hey, I'm actually looking for a mom

There's nothing you'd love more isn't it nice also you don't have to buy your ghost mama house And then they become one eventually yeah, I want to shit There has been a lot of proof of lie your owner that has been captured over time people have really like the reason Why we end up doing this episode was because we were doing our serious XM call-in show And I forgot what the subject was but lie your own it came up. It was so cool And I've never Had this in our history of the small history of doing the color lines the board just blew up Yeah, and a lot of people called it and said they had witnessed lie your own up

Fernando or on producer believes that he probably had some form of Visitation by la your owner. It's the same thing again and again You see a woman by a body of water dressed all in white quite often Then not she turns and looks at you where was a face is a black hole and it emits a whale, right? And this is actual footage of a full auditory footage. Yeah of la your owner She make it a noise. I'm telling you those calls were compelling That's why it's a whale right there. That's like that's Coyote No, no looking for a bone

You see look you can see lie your own up is at the top there on the tree Sounds like Yogi Bear is getting pegged or something That's taking it all again lie your own It sounds like Chewbacca before the sound mixer like mixed in the last animal This is all things probably built towards lie your own Okay, interesting for the remnants, great There's that there's also this other picture of a blurry smudge that I have here That's also a very good none other than lie your own. You can see watch that look at that. That's a phantom

I agree. I don't know what that is. That's why your own. Yeah, sure Everybody see and they all say to it's like it's the same. It's a sense of foreboding and a long yes a horrible way to spend eternity Yeah edging basically Honestly, it sounds like some people like it No, but they like the they like the process after the edge, but yeah, just edge Whoo, it would be like all I want to do is climb Mount Rushmore and hang off the nose of George Washington But you only get to his chin forever I feel like it's more like I want to go to a restaurant, but it's booked. Hmm. It's like that that would be your purgatory

Okay, well, yeah Now lie your owner isn't just a tale meant to keep kids from drowning and what my wife informs me is a culturally Hispanic thing La Yerona is also used by parents to punish excessive crying. Oh sure. It's the worst version of you want to cry I'll give you something to cry about and they always do yeah Oh, yeah, cuz after all Yerona translates to cry baby and kids are told that if they cry too much They will eventually invoke the spirit of the ultimate cry baby. La Yerona. I thought you were gonna say Johnny Depp Wonderful movie Iggy Pop highly underrated in that movie Had to face was my favorite character had your face is wonderful. Yeah, everything about crazy pops having a moment

Yes, yes as the logic goes if La Yerona killed her own children when she was alive Imagine what she'll do to you now that she's dead. She's learned her lesson and she'll take care of them. That would be nice She realized hey, maybe that was all a waste and now I'm obviously here whaling and searching for my lost children Maybe I got these new children. Yeah, it's time to start over in a way that I can grow and change like step-by-step step-by-step you put La Yerona in the character of Tim Duffy's Position yes, he La Yerona would understand actually I have to grow up in order for myself I might be in body an adult, but I need to be one up here as absolutely She needs to go to a ghost therapist and you know what I'm not for the remakes of films

They're remaking white men can jump. It's fine. Watch the original Rosie Perez. You don't need another one It's kind of crazy. They made the white men be able to jump isn't that stupid? It was good. They got jumping boots on now It's like in the original Super Mario Brothers movie, which is my Super Mario Brothers movie and that's where I'm staying It takes place on Mars or on the moon Where white men can jump a little bit more, but you know what movie could be remade ghost dad? I Complicated legacy with ghost dad complicated. This is ghost mom exactly Well as it is the way La Yerona is described as looking when she comes to get you it can indeed be terrifying

Oh, yes in the version of the story in which La Yerona acts as a siren that lures drunk men to their watery dooms She starts as a beautiful weeping woman who seemingly needs consoling and nothing is hotter than a woman crying next to a river I thought I was gonna go to the angle. Nothing's more consoling than a hammered guy who went down to the And it seems you're pretty upset. Let me tell you something You know, it shouldn't be you because LeBron James shit the bed last year in the Lakers, right? He was real upset Sports bar consoling absolutely But when the drunk man offers to help the woman's face turns into either a bear skull a bat a

Metallic horse's head or worst of all a smooth blank Nothing this shit that creeps me out. Yeah, so much scarier because then it's like you put whatever image you want on it Yeah, and it's always the scariest thing you can imagine. I'm no lips. No eyes. No nose Remember in toilet to the toilet on movie when they cut to the girl that that one segment words the boy that could wish Like all of this shit. I love that's my favorite bit in that movie But cutting to the sister when they revealed that she had no mouth. That was one of the scariest It's great. Yeah, one of the most horrifying Sandman stories in the Sandman comic book is you know It just has one scene of a bunch of faceless

Noseless blank-faced ladies Devouring a man slowly while he cannot move and then of course the opposite can be true if you remember blank face from Dick Tracy and all Now this story of course teaches you another important lesson Don't go down to the river at night when you're drunk. Got you even though it's super nice It's really nice to go down to the river. Why is this the lesson? You're feeling because you can fall in and drown really easily because there's either a serial killer in Austin right now or People are getting fucking Yeah, it's real easy to fall and drown in a river look at Jeff Buckley. I he wanted to that

He wasn't he wasn't drunk, but he's still he's still drowning a river strong undercurrent that it's unpredictable It's true, and I might just be a city boy. Um, I feel like rivers are easy to avoid It's like right there. Yeah, you're never just gonna like happen upon a river But you're gonna see your river you can happen upon a river But the point is that you shouldn't choose to go down to the river when you're drunk because the rocks are slippery You slip you fall you hit your head you drown. There's all sorts of bad things that can happen Again, this is all like this is all Neil Young's crimes. I know I know it but this version of La Llorona also Warns men against honey traps. Oh, yeah

For example in years past in the city of Austin, La Llorona came in the form of an urban legend called the donkey lady The donkey now that's a name I can say the donkey lady Yeah, it's actually almost too easy. Yes, the donkey lady would lure UT frat boys down from 6th Street to the Red River Where all manner of awful things may occur Wow, it might look through your phone That would be the worst of all but when it comes to what children are told La Llorona looks like It's said by some that the centuries of crying have marked La Llorona's face with two scars that lead down from her eyes And because her body has long since emptied itself of tears. She now weeps If you're crying blood see a doctor see a doctor very scary to see yourself though

Furthermore her hair has never stopped growing since she killed her children It has become a tangled mess that wraps around her body and likewise her nails have grown into claws So that she might more easily rake the muddy waters of streams Ditches and shores for the bones of her murdered children. Can I ask her just go downstream a little bit? Because you know you could people find bodies all the time I did not come back from the dead You're just gonna go down and talk to some man I'm just a drunk guy at the right

I don't want to find my children. You want to find your children? I weep professionally I know, I'm just saying You mansplaining how I'm supposed to mourn spectrally Have you looked near the dam? I didn't think about that but I ain't letting you tell me alright I'm not I'm just I want to help you get to heaven You what? Why don't you just sit and listen to me cry and let me get it out instead of always offering advice to fix it

I'm gonna draw myself now. I'll say I'm not a river rat by any stretch of the imagination. That's a term I know what it is, but no one says you always say things that no one's accused you of being Yeah, I never said you are a river rat No, I mean but I say that as to say I'm not an expert on Texas rivers However, I do know good. Thank you for clarifying. Yeah, cuz you know river rats. I mean that's a that is a whole life That's the whole thing. Yeah, and I'm not saying it's bad. Of course not. I have plenty of good Who are you You've made up someone who's going to be offended by something that you're about to say about river rat lifestyle

Well, what I'm saying is that the rivers of Texas specifically like the Brassus River, which I grew up off the Brassus River The Brassus River has many forks. It has many branches. It has many tributaries So therefore La Llorona would have a difficult time Figuring out which of these breaks which of these brooks or which of these forks her children's bones Lay down maybe if she was Mr. Yorona, she could figure it out. Is that what you're saying? Because men naturally have more iron in their nose, you know, what is interesting This is why if you do drown your kids like that one woman who did in the back of the car Andrew Yates, you know where they are

So you want to tie them all together is one and then because yeah, what does she have four kids or something? It depends. I mean that it could be one. It could be two most the time It's at least two so that's that is a different path. That's that's difficult to do Well, this creature is said to act without mercy nor hesitation There is no negotiating with La Llorona no argument And this especially goes in other versions of the story in which she appears as a burning ball of furious flame I can do a quick rundown of the various forms, right? So yes, the tradition of La Llorona is you see the the woman in white weeping by a river

She turns around scares the shit out of you you run away and I've read several stories There was one a really interesting book we got called La Llorona encounters with the weeping woman Which is very it's talks about the cultural importance of La Llorona which we're about to get into but it has come of those one story I read where it's like I was driving in Right outside of Santa Fe and this is back when Santa Fe was a very small city and said that he saw an old woman On the edge of the street and same thing. He said Normally he's like now I knew something was different because it was like getting struck by lightning I saw this old woman weeping and then as I drove past she turned to look at me and where was should be a face

It was a black hole and I just turn I just did a whole you turn and just drove away from it We're a living shadow of him. That's one version Okay, there's another version that back when Las Vegas was just a small little town like literally just a gambling outpost Yeah, right there's talk about like guys would go the guys are working there than building Las Vegas There was one story of the guy gambling in this beautiful woman and he said and he said how do I put it? It's like not the normal woman we see in this establishment. Yeah, right a sure a Salma Hayek arrives Yeah, right. Yes, he comes in beautiful face, you know long brown hair and she sits with her dress and she starts gambling and

Running everybody under the table and they're all like this guy. It's like she's great She's great. She's we don't know what to do with her and men are literally falling in love with her And she's saying like oh you guys can all come back with me until finally one looks down He felt the tapping on his foot and he's like oh, she's flirting with me and he looked down And she'd not possess a human foot, but it was a I think these guys are about to be leaving Las Vegas Well what's the interesting about leaving Las Vegas was that he went there to die So it's like he never left isn't that something but then there's also a version of La Llorona

That is a tumbling ball of flame is it a one story a guy saw what looked like a white the woman in white And then realize it was morphing into this tumbling orb. It looks like a bunch of flames And you just like no shit. Oh, what's that right? Do you see that dad? Yeah, and it arrived and it landed in front of them and then turned into a bundle of blankets and Then the bundle of blankets unfurled and it was a bunch of babies with razor-sharp teeth That's the worst one yet and everyone else said that like oh they thought that like they're like He was the most trustworthy man in the village like we didn't think he would lie and it haunted him all his days See these like little carnivorous children setabytes. All right, cool

When it comes to the roots of La Llorona The story is far more than a cautionary tale like so many that spring up around cultures that develop around bodies of water It's also far more than a story that keeps kids from running off on their own And it's certainly far more than a cautionary tale meant to keep frat boys from drowning in the river, okay? La Llorona is actually one of those rare legends that has its roots in both mythology and highly Consequential historical events it involves stories that involve beautiful women terrifying creatures and According to some opinions the betrayal of an entire civilization This is one of those stories when I typed in you know, I always go to my research

I just go to I go to like YouTube and I go like You're all now and just kind of trying to see you popped up right and then the first thing to pop up was this like Very thick college level dissertation where was these two teachers were talking on zoom and they got really into culture now of Mexico and I was like We're gonna be getting all of this so that part that actually contained information So we're just gonna say listen this is where your this is gringo time it is a ghost hits already guys We're gonna do our best to break down a lot of very complex themes within Mexican history absolutely in Mexican culture It's extraordinarily complex. We're gonna we're absolutely gonna do our best

Honestly, I think it's finally time for last podcast on the left to explain Mexico. Do you have anything besides Mexican food? Now since La Llorona is a terrifying Mexican legend It's only logical that her mythological roots lie in the most terrifying mezzo-american mythology that of the Aztecs and Since it's a dark tale. It's only natural that the roots of La Llorona are related to human sacrifice Now did the Aztecs practice human sacrifice most definitely maybe just practice it they got real good at it But they nailed it they got pro but was it a part of everyday life as it is often claimed I hope so unlikely unlikely probably not Man, that was when we toured Rome. We missed out on all the good shit. That's when we should have been comedians ancient Rome

Yeah, I mean Aztec sacrifice. It's one of the most hotly debated subjects in all of like academia Yeah, well, that's the thing the vast majority of what we know about human sacrifice Comes from the Spaniards who conquered and slaughtered them just like everything we know about druids Comes from the Romans who invaded the British Isles history is written by the victors and just like the Romans It was in the Spaniards best interests to paint the Aztecs as pure barbarians But when it comes to the crude ethnographies written by Spanish missionaries They were actually usually pretty reliable when it came to the American indigenous people We was happy that in no way does the American history of our land have a similar tale. No

No, no, no nothing, but we're straight shooters right shooters. Well, they're usually pretty reliable But the purpose is of course nefarious Yeah, but these chronicles of Mesoamerican tribal and cultural practices These were guides for future missionaries to pervert Existing cultural beliefs and turn them into Christian beliefs because look at how fucking well it worked with Christmas and Easter Yeah, that rebrand was complete Like for example, like when it comes to societies like the Aztecs the missionaries can say like oh, y'all fucking love blood There's this fucking big bloody dude, he's always being tortured his face is always

Big fucking stab always bleeding Fucking nails dripping into his hands and feet always fucking believe We drink his blood once a week. It's awesome. You'll love it. Do it or die So that's the selling point. Yeah, I drank blood last week and I got mono from it man Isn't that nice? It's great that you can love something you're full of The story of La Llorona is is tied into all of these Mechanisms where we tell who writes the stories of ancient groups What do they serve like what purpose do the writing serve for the people that are using it for their own benefit?

And also how they got this information because one of the actual origins of La Llorona to like kind of talks about what I Mistakenly said incorrectly on the stream like the idea that the conquistadors when they arrived They were outnumbered by the Aztecs and they're sort of like it. This is fake Like that it's his fault So the idea that they were so overwhelmed by their technology that they just kind of gave up the ghost and also the the thing about like them believing that You know, he was at Hernando Cortez was God. That's totally untrue Okay, but what they did was that they worked their way very similar to the CIA has left their imprint around the United Okay, I was there how does it connect? I agree with Henry on this a wholeheartedly actually it's a very good analogy

Okay, I'm just saying we've just seen they go in with the conquistadors would motivate the larger group of Aztecs or they'll motivate the people that were on the lower rungs of society okay, because at this time the society had already structured itself into a way where there was a group of a controlling class that ran everything and Basically did what we're kind of going through right now where they are essentially like making sure that no one on the bottom got anything When did the conquistadors sprinkle crack everywhere? This is this is basically what they did but with La Llorona Yeah, but the idea that they would manipulate The bigger lower class to rise up against the controlling classes to help them flip the entire country

Yeah, and there is one woman who helped them do that which we'll get to here in a second Oh, but those chronicles that we were talking about with the missionaries They also worked as like a demon glossary so the missionaries could properly recast previously revered gods as Demons who have been tricking the indigenous people into worshiping them for centuries. Oh my god It's so lucky that we came along you've been worshiping a demon You can tell he does he be a snake, right? He'd be a snake and you see the snake and you think oh, that's a oh my god

I love this miss goodness to this protector snake. He come he break he makes society. He helped all of us But turn out he a demon. Well the gods really weren't the problem I think maybe the human sacrifice and things like that was an issue, but no Functioning society. Yes, they were either conquistadors help the Aztecs were an extraordinarily advanced society all of them as American cultures were Extraordinarily fine. Can we just say this everyone's like oh, they were so unbelievably extraordinary with technology. They had a clock They made a big clock It was a calendar They also had canal they had and horses they had a great little they didn't have horses

I thought that's where the Spaniards brought horses. I'm saying he showed up with horses. Yeah Yeah, they were they were confused about the horses. Yeah when they saw men on horses They did think like holy shit. That's a man. That's one creature centaur. Yeah a centaur. Yeah But though the horses were a big deal as were the guns But the Aztecs were also incredible warriors, but we'll get into the reasons later Okay, why they were not able to overtake or even fight back against the Spaniards all that well right into it But to the point of human sacrifice Yeah, but the point of human sacrifice in Aztec culture being at least a part of the overall melange

It partly survived in oral tradition through La Llorona See just before the Spaniards arrived and we're gonna get into Aztec mythology right now. Cool. Cool. Sacrifices were given to the great mother Coat le quay and I'm gonna do my best to This is not too bad. Thank you You'll be able to work your way through a Oahuqan menu pretty soon And coat le quay was uh, usually depicted wearing a long dress made of tangled rivers and drowning men. Yes Yes, in some versions of the Aztec creation myth. She created the world now Aztec mythology is fucking crazy violent Sweet, but so is Greek mythology. Yeah, remember fucking Saturn ate his son alive the Titans all that shit's incredibly violent

Sometimes that son a good eat. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so it's not to mention again the crucifixion of Jesus Has been portrayed as extraordinarily violent in other words a lot of belief systems have violent roofs I think I'm fine. I think all of them involve some kind of blood planes Indian tribes Usually don't their creation myths are usually very peaceful. They have to do with the land coyotes stuff like that. Yeah, those are boring Yeah And the Jewish creation myth is that one's truly boring like let there be light Well cabal the the

Transmission of nothingness to something yeah genesis law and god said let there be light and then that's a god created the heaven and earth God's just an executive Just saying or shit. He's just saying, you know, it actually be nice that there was some light in here And then he makes everybody else go scurry around and make it happen garden of Eden. Yeah, I bet you they've really really enjoyed that series called family pies They'll fuck each other According to that we're all incest babies family. We are yeah All of humankind's incest babies at some point if humankind we've been getting caught in fucking washers and dryers since the beginning You gotta figure out how to clean these clothes better

That's one of the things that lie your owner is warning against because if she's stuck down in the river Don't you comment do your naughty stepfather business with her? I wonder if you did just leave a pile of dirty clothes if she'd wash it Well, let's move on Well, some people argue that the Aztecs are they're mostly misunderstood, you know that they just loved violent stories because as we know Just because people have violent interest that doesn't mean that they're violent people in fact most of the time as our audience knows all too well It's usually the exact opposite. Yeah, everybody. I know who looks scary a lot of time is the most gentle loving person in the face Everybody know with face tattoos in 2023 is an incredibly sweet person And now we live in a world where khakis and blue shirts or red shirts the fucking dev

Used to be target employee and now it's neo-nazi Yeah, but as one of the violent Aztec myths go that are related to la yorona a goddess named Siwa koatl Help the god ketsu koatl create the current human race by grinding up the bones of the people from the previous ages Well, I'm sorry. I really using uh quite to coddles blood. I'm sorry. I gotta take a shit. I'm gonna waddle out of here That is this is great. This is really really good. My nickname was crap a waddle We're really trying. I'm really trying No, you're nailing. Siwa koatl, by the way, uh was uh koatlique's daughter. We're just kidding. You're married to a

to a non uh She's fluent in spanish. This is in spanish. This is Aztec. I don't fucking know that Okay, she's she's she's fluent and she's also she's not mexican. She's a columbian imperuvian. Yeah, you piece of shit I didn't say she was mexican. I can't fucking believe it. I didn't say she was mexican. How dare you She's beautiful. There's beautiful people all around. Everyone is beautiful Well, koatlique, meanwhile, was decapitated by her children on the orders of one of her daughters, the moon goddess Who with shades of la llorona was upset with her mother because her mother become pregnant by a man who was not the moon goddess's father

There's a bit of infidelity here. There's a little bit of a telenovela. A little bit. So even if you're a god, you get cheated on Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, be women be trifling. I guess so but from the bloody next stomp of koatlique Sprung the fruit of that forbidden union the aztec god of war wheat sila pouch dali Cool. That's cool. Seeing that his mother had been killed wheat sila pouch dali who dismembered hundreds of his siblings And decapitated the moon goddess. He's mad. He then threw her head into the sky And that head became The moon. Oh, I see. Oh, they had the coolest fucking mess. It seems to be none of you seem to pay attention to me unless I'm full

Oh, that's fine. Oh now you're all taking pictures. Oh, okay. Oh, that's fine. No, we love you moon goddess. Thank you for the Why should you it's no reason to call It's just we love you. I'll call you. I speak to you every night moon goddess. I held you You know, thank you vagina for nine months. They cut a hole in me I love you mama moon I love you in another la yorona connection Siwa koatl she had the bone grinding She was also the patroness of mothers who die in childbirth because in Aztec culture childbirth was compared to warfare

And women who died in childbirth were honored as fallen soldiers. It was extremely dangerous at the time It was extremely dangerous until like 1965 I would say more like night 2005. Damn. Yeah, it's still dangerous. It needs it to do In a terrifying twist these women became skull-faced spirits known as the siwa tail Who would hot crossroads at night where they would do what else but steal children Why the fuck did the conquistadors change this culture? I would have been like one of them What I would have been like one of the invaders being like, you know what you guys are really cool

You guys are crushing us Why don't we arm y'all and be with you guys and we'll all hang out here Yeah, and then oh god Yeah, and then eventually we'll turn it around and go back and conquer europe Dude, that would have been crazy used a little bit of cool. Shit. Yeah, cuz I want to say a lot of this people talk about You know, obviously that some of this is very A symbolic of mexican-american culture like a kind of a way we deal with each other But this is a really an anti spain podcast

And I'm still like we need to go for spain I think that's where a lot of the anger needs to be directed towards because they started it making the plate smaller All these fucking guys do all day long. They take off all afternoon. They're just they just get to sleep Absolutely gotta go to work shaped like a boot That's it. No, that's pain That's Italy No, when it came to an urban setting it was said that siwa koatl roamed the canals of the aztec capital of tenac di lan Wearing a cradle board on her back. Oh, yeah, the cradle board. That's like the little backpack for babies

Yeah, yeah, but on that cradle board was not a child But an obsidian flint knife the kind used in human sacrifice That's a cool name of like a new john wick style movie called like single dad It's just uh, you just got a baby carrier just like a full of guns. Yeah Well, I like the idea of just a cool knife. We're knife fighting back Obsidian knife. Yeah, Jan films the other day which ston tv. He uses everything so cool Well, ironically though the story that partly inspired la yorona was not meant for kids Instead it seems like it was aimed more towards young parents

At least this is kind of my interpretation of this tale as I read it and what sounds like a cautionary tale meant to discourage Mothers from leaving their children unattended. A woman goes to the market But leaves the child behind in a crib while she goes to shop and hang out with her friends Madeline the cat Don't bring them into this. They're innocent But when she returns the child is gone replaced with an obsidian flint knife. Cool. That's it My fucking daughter's a knife now Most of the time when your kid is kidnapped they don't leave anything

Maybe a ransom note or something, but well, this signifies that siwa koadl has traded the knife for the child And the child has been taken away on the crib strapped to siwa koadl's back knife fairy What you can do is just say they're gonna have a better life that way and look at my new knife But look at this night. It's kind of cool Life from your grave Well to round out the Aztec influence on La Llorona when it comes to mythology Another likely inspiration for this cultural amalgamation is a creator creature known as the hungry woman

Yes, this creature a lot of times what we'll do is when you sit to order food at a restaurant She'll say oh, I'm not very hungry right now, but then when you order something Yeah, she'll take half Or when you're sitting at home and you're trying to decide what to get for delivery She'll say that she's hungry and yet every suggestion you make she says No This is not your podcast the husbands can be right sometimes every now and again Well this wandering god the hungry woman

She is covered with dozens of mouths that cry out not for children, but for food This is awesome. It's cool. Yeah, it said that the hungry woman is Kuala Kui herself the devouring mother who contains both the womb And the gray This is like gang bang gold right here Because of all the mouths all the mouth I actually was thinking this is a good I feel like the hungry woman's a good new like that You know chicken you have a chicken pop up. Oh sure hungry woman

And you just see all the different mouths, but there's a chicken sandwich for each one of the mouths I actually love that idea and then I think you're getting in the get this gaming It's not going to go the way you want it because there's so many mouths all you're going to see is dudes butts I hate that think about it think about it. You're only going to see dudes, but Dude I was watching I was like, oh, fuck. I'm late and then you see like two guys on step ladders and both steps You see two guys like in a triangle on each other's backs La La Llorona is really just a parable about being late to the gangbang And so far the hungry woman I suppose more of the parable in that case

But while La Llorona obviously has roots in Aztec mythology She owes perhaps even more of her existence to the 1519 arrival of the Spanish conquistador Hernando Cortez He was there seeking the three G's God, gold, and glory Can you feel the power? Can you feel the glory? Uh, this is where it gets complicated. Yeah Now it's fascinating in this context is that 10 years before Cortez arrived

The Aztecs began witnessing a series of bad omens that they believed were signaling the arrival of mysterious men who would wage war on tenac de dan Laying some very strong groundwork for the future legend of La Llorona Omen number six involved a native woman covered in chalk dressed all in white According to accounts She wandered the streets of Danouch Dilan and was heard crying and screaming throughout the night saying my children We now have to live far away Or my children

Where should I take you? Disneyland. No, not now. Supposedly this woman was the aforementioned goddess Siwa Kowaddle Seven years after that omen a famine began and Siwa Kowaddle again appeared in the streets of Danouch Dilan Crying in hunger. She would say oh my children. We are about to be lost Finally to make all of this as horrible as possible These omens were linked at the very end of the Spanish conquest When it was said that the hungry woman ate a baby boy in his crib

Wow Hungry indeed, but it extends So this is really kind of about like these what they learned was you could take these legends And you could flip them for their own good like the conquistadors Right understood that you got in and started to understand how to speak their language how they speak to each other culturally That's the best way to manipulate a people you wrap a baby in a tortilla. You cook that up. I mean that is not the worst You know it comes down to it Who knows not the worst now when you say not the worst you're gonna eat human flesh

I would assume a baby's flesh is slightly more tender and I don't want to talk about it anymore You've already done this you open it up and actually I know from accounts of cannibals So they say that those that have eaten baby meat they say that it's very similar to fish that it actually falls apart I'm sorry. I apologize. I didn't do this. I was trying to bring some levity to it. I realized it was the opposite It would be incredible in a taco Now we're about to get into history here and it might be a little bit controversial I know some of our listeners might have some very strong opinions on this one way or another you're correct We don't know we've learned as much as we could about this subject

But for some people just a line in history book and for some people there's a lot of ideological stances attached to this character in history Yeah, and you know things that reverberate to this very day. Are we gonna get into crt? Fantastic crt critical race theory We don't have kids I try to talk to wendy about the racist beginnings of this country She kept saying she's sitting but pulling the ladder up and doesn't care what anybody else. She's already made it to this country No, we don't need to get into the details of how cortez destroyed the aztec empire so quickly But for the purposes of our story, we're going to discuss the controversial woman who helped him do it

Her given name was mali zen, but the mexican people would come to know her as La Malinche aka the tongue. Oh, did she miss a Dalai Lama? Oh my god, yeah, kiss my tongue That is such a fucking that's a scary the tongue. She was very she was she's a Controversial okay now the legend goes that la malinche had been a member of aztec nobility Who'd been captured and enslaved by the Mayans at the age of eight or nine? But as it turned out she had a knack for languages and by the time Cortez arrived from spain many years later

La malinche was fluent in the languages of both the aztec and mayan empires Now when cortez first arrived he was given a large peace offering by the mayans which included 20 enslaved women Amongst those women was la malinche the enslaved aztec noble She was baptized as a catholic and given the european name of marina seems like the peace offering was actually exceptionally violent Oh very much so yes yes yes yes yes and if you thought la malinche was very interesting you should have met La but I don't know how to say but in spanish Now what was she called the but? La culo. Yeah. Yeah. She was nice very very good. Yeah now since But the nice thing is I actually saw someone hit a grand slam and they barely even hit the ball

But everyone in the infield did so poorly so we're doing okay. That's all we got to do It's all about it in the park home run here. Yeah Now since la malinche was reportedly beautiful. She was given to a spanish nobleman But when her nondo cortez discovered how good she was with languages He took her as his own personal slave and she thereafter quickly learned spanish As an interpreter and eventually an advisor la malinche participated in every major event associated with the spanish conquest of mexico all the way to the fall of tenac titlan in 1521 She was like a mirror universe version of sacajauea evil mexican pocahontas. Yeah

Now reportedly cortez told one of his men that next to god la malinche was the most important factor to his success Now soon after the Aztecs were conquered la malinche gave birth to her nando cortez's son martin martin is therefore considered the first mestizo the first boy that was a mix of the spanish and indigenous people That now make up the nation of mexico. She's sometimes seen as the mother of the mexican people They didn't call him baby tongue. Did they? No, no, no, no, no, no. I I don't ever want to meet anybody with a nickname baby Call me baby tongue Are you here for the uh the interview for the which what if you were on a date everything is going great and they open The mother baby tongue a little tiny little tiny talk. I lost most of my tongue in the tongue wars

2013 However, the people of mexico who have an opinion on la malinche are usually split between one extreme Or the other some see her as as I said the symbolic mother of the new mexican people Yeah, the new mexico. She's like this idea. She's that the combination of cultures Yeah, she is also seen as a woman who might have helped mitigate the suffering of her people from the inside someone who saw There's no way we're gonna beat the spanish. There's no way we're gonna beat these guys So let's try to bring an end to this as soon as possible. She probably said something like it's not selling out It's buying it's buying it and other people say that since she was enslaved that meant that she had no choice

But to collaborate. Yes, and they also say that she is unfairly made escape go because of that Yeah, because you know in mexican culture like mexican culture can be very misogynistic latino culture can be very misogynistic and some Latino feminists see her as an unfairly maligned woman Yeah, because again what you're seeing is a guy who used her inside knowledge To help gain the trust of many people and then use that, you know, it depends on what you think Do you are you happy? Yeah, but her nanda cortez's actions. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know But you know, but the biggest thing was that you know through her interpretation what she was able to interpret as Henry said earlier Like she was able to very quickly

Interpret her nanda cortez's intentions to these lower classes of the Aztec people So he was able to form basically he was able to show up form an army and fuck people up Really fast. Okay, man. That's the thing through that other people see la malinche as a trader of the highest order Who hastened the defeat of the Aztecs when she really didn't have to in other words It's not her fucking choice to say who should live and who should die That's why the law your own a story is so the way people talk about it It's just this mixture of rage and sadness and for lordness because it's many things. It's this idea of It's a complicated ghost very complicated this thing where you look at you don't know wherely where it's coming from

Like what what were the intentions of this of this if it was indeed a real force It's it's symbolic of that this idea of like Are we settling ourselves out like a mother who kills her own children? It's it's a symbol. It's a symbolic example of like quote unquote selling out your country. Yeah I mean, that's why wisconsin is great. They have a thing called a hodak Which is just a big ass beeper. It literally is just a thing that sits there and I think it only says hodak Like I think that's why it's called a hodak And they also have a sandwich called a hodak

Exactly, you know the big foot's just a big guy Just big old foot Yeah Well, some of these people argue that you know because of lamanling che the asex didn't have enough time to adapt to the spanish ways of warfare That eventually if they would have been able to just kind of battle them on their own They would have figured out how to go against guns They would have figured out how to kill horses like it wouldn't have been they would have at least been able to fight To fuck some shit up for as long as they couldn't tell of course the smallpox set in and then after that they're fucked

But and others say that you know, she could have refused to collaborate all together She could have chose She got murdered But she could have chose death over the betrayal of her people. Yeah, and yeah, that's the thing is that it goes options tough options It's about a ghost story about somebody that's Damned by their choices because also you're in oh your woman in society So you're just kind of forced to do these things and then you're kind of punished for it by society Yes, yeah, exactly

And you know, I might be misinterpreting this but from what I can tell like malinche is still like a slang term It's so used today. It's used by some people as a sort of like it's like an uncle tom pejorative benedict arnold Yeah, yeah, I don't know the story of benedict arnold. It's a whole thing. It's it's more it's it's actually much worse than benedict arnold Because this is like somebody who it's basically someone who prefers eurocentric cultures to their own I would compare it the fact that joe gotto left the impractical jokers. How how is his divorce? He was forced to in the divorce. Yeah Well a prime example of this a prime recent example of this is the latino white supremacist who killed eight people in dalos What two weeks ago, dude, they're doing it. Do you even remember?

I was speaking of this on ablegans top hat and it's that it race and ethnicity different things. It's a whole thing It's very complicated. It's a very common. There's a very good article in the atlantic this week about it I was speaking about the atlantic the other day. What is happening here? Should I break out the metamucle? What's going on here? We're gonna do some shots of wheat grass and shit But no matter what the modern interpretation of la melinche's legacy may be whether it's one way or the other Yeah, we don't know at the time in the 1500s She was definitely seen as a villain to the people of mexico when she was alive And as we shall soon see her actions and the subsequent consequences slowly began to intertwine with

Aztec mythology thus helping to create la irona Now once the Aztecs were conquered the Spaniards began to recast the Aztec mythological heroes as villains One Spanish cleric said that the Aztecs ancestors had aired in their worship of these gods Specifically gods like siwaka waddle who would terrify the Aztec people throughout the night by her extensive wailing and crying It's like why do you want to worship that guy when you could have jesus? Jesus never cried once Jesus fucking got caught and murdered All right. I like my I like my savior is not caught. I like my savior is not caught

But also I think jesus there's a whole bunch of shit where he was crying like a bunch Well, the whole put would get semi. He was trying to get out of it. And then there's also the concept of the sacrificial god Like you have to you we are all supposed to sacrifice something because we're not good enough for heaven We must kill some part of something that is belongs to us in order to get all the good stuff in the end So we make sure that we live in like a really shit ass boring life on this planet And then we can go to the fun party again jilderay michael jackson Just like a killer killers all these guys just hanging out out there. Yeah, never forget jeffrey dummer No, I'm just loving life. You're gonna go with epstein on that one. All right

Well, sure enough by 1550 a few decades after the spanish defeat of the aztecs The goddess siwa koadl had become a ghostly white apparition of a sobbing woman wandering the canals She was now named la yorona Now this first la yorona was indeed a cautionary tale But it seems like the first lesson la yorona was meant to teach was Don't fuck a conquistador. Okay, because you ain't la malinche. Yeah, you're not trying to be a la malinche either It ain't gonna happen. That was the first lesson. Don't suck that dick

Don't fuck a conquistador because basically it was common for spaniards to promise indigenous women the moon I'm gonna make you a noble woman. I'm gonna take you back to spain. I'm gonna give you a better life All you gotta do is fuck me and everything will be great these men Yeah, but as soon as the relationship became boring or inconvenient The spaniards would toss the women and whatever children they'd fathered aside And of course you told the story of like if you do this if this happens to you Then you could lose your mind like la yorona. You might murder your children like la yorona Yeah, it'll hollow out your whole life. You've traded out your culture. Yeah, you've yeah

You've traded out everything and your entire life will fall apart and you will wander You will wander the river the canals for all eternity that lesson still holds true to this day. Be careful who you have kids with Because they might just end up going to quick trip and never coming back However, when it comes to la malinche, it's hard to say whether la yorona was inspired by rumors concerning la malinche Or whether people applied the la yorona story to la malinche after her death In order to make her death far more tragic than it really was come see come stop. Yeah, I think it's a little half a half a one Yeah, half one six and one half dozen of the other Now it's thought that la yorona first appeared about a year before la malinche died

But a story sprung up around la malinche's death that was at the very least the first half of the la yorona tale It was said that when Hernando Cortez announced that he would be returning to spain With his mestizo son martin, but without la malinche She took a sacrificial obsidian knife and plunged it into her son's heart in the manner of an aztec sacrifice Then did the same to herself. Good storytelling. Very good storytelling. Yeah Now that of course wasn't true at all After cortez left la malinche married a different spanish nobleman and died fat and happy as far as we know Just get all fat and happy

Chassis eat some bread some desserts, but it does say something that people wanted her to die a horrible death Oh, yeah, they wanted this to be real. They wanted be they were very Hopeful that she was the phantom that was crying searching looking for their lost children Because that would feel like a fate appropriate for the person that sold this out Yeah, it is it is 50 50 right because it's very very greatest revenge is to live a happy life, you know like I'll leave I'll say Corey Feldman. Good for you. Yeah, you're winning, but Dick Cheney is also still alive. I mean, yeah So it's like his revenge. It's like ah Well, in fact after the mexican revolution of 1810

Mexican nationalists began to directly compare la malinche to la yurona Although in their minds la malinche was far worse because after all la yurona had only drowned her own children And those were hurricanes. Yeah, you're allowed to I took you I brought you You know, but la malinche had according to the you know, opinions of these people She had condemned her entire people by aiding and abetting the cruel conquistadors Who had tried erasing the Aztec and Mayan identities from Mexico completely not to mention how many people they fucking killed So it's now in amalgamation. Oh, yes series of

Sort of dystopian gods kind of and that's why the ghost hold such a powerful cultural hold over many And it continues and it evolves and Again, it's just how many people have seen la yurona. How many people have talked about this style And yes, the banshees are in other cultures. There's other cultures that but the weeping woman just shows us that the irish aren't great at investing properly And that's the problem there leprechauns, you know, understand just it is nice to put it in a mutual fund Put it in a lot of bucks Now when it came to horror stories involving the conquistadors some went far beyond mere Consorting but many of those stories still had a sort of la yurona ending

In one tale the conquistadors who first arrived in Mexico were so taken by the beauty of Aztec children That they kidnapped the most beautiful kids and gave them to their Spanish wives as gifts The kids there why I thought you were gonna say women. Yeah, thanks. They were like, yeah, they're like Look at these beautiful children I'm gonna just get out of here. Yeah, I you got anything else? I thought I was gonna be like a little older I mean I think I just I've got a is I've got a necklace or something Here's a screaming terrified child for you to take care of Well, there goes the milk. I thought flowers were kind of bad

Yeah, I didn't know it was gonna happen so fast. Whoa, whoa, whoa, it comes out milk You know how to be a mom Well, when this became all it is is just shooting your tail Whoa Men and women, huh? Well, when this became a trend it was said that some Aztec women killed their children Rather than give them up to the hated Spanish and La Yurona was one such woman But in an extra twist this La Yurona kills whatever child she finds during her wandering

Perhaps echoing the old sacrificial Aztec beliefs a child for a child child versus child. Yeah Yeah, that's fun. But although the rumors and legends ran rampant There actually was a case in Mexico City around 1550 which may have been a direct inspiration for part of the La Yurona story Although in this tale no water is involved water seems to be something that is applied afterwards. Okay Here an Aztec princess fell in love with a nobleman and bore him twins The nobleman promised to marry her but of course married someone else instead these men and twins The princess showed up on the night of his wedding party to confront him But when he humiliated her in public and turned her away

She returned home and stabbed her twins to death with a dagger that the nobleman had given to her as a gift The thing is how do you tell the chick that you're married that you want to add one more? It's such a hard conversation. Yeah, and I say, you know, you know what you need to start with Some nice music. Oh Nice music, you know, you show up be like, baby. You guys like each other. Why don't you guys just try to kiss each other? You make yourself the male cook. They just you know, do what they do. Yeah, you guys like this. Yeah Maybe they didn't it's a hard conversation. It's a hard unless they love each other It's a hard sell on the wedding night. Well, yeah, because it's all like you didn't plan for it

You don't have an extra burner plate for her. You know, yeah, it's a whole thing Well, having lost her mind during the act of murder This woman then wandered the streets and torn blood-soaked clothing crying for her children For some reason, I think it was because she used the dagger. She was found guilty of both murder And sorcery and she was therefore hanged for her crime. She was gonna be hanged either way But they just okay, I was gonna tag sorcery in there make sure she's extra. Yeah, got you. Yeah, still a child murderer Gotcha. Well from there. It was just a short jump to turn her into a wandering spirit Who searches for her murdered children and because the people of Mexico needed a myth that kept kids away from water

All of these stories of wandering child murdering women They were all combined with the trauma of a conquistador conquest and it all got mixed up to create Llorona and you know, it is an interesting compromise getting rid of title 42 But then putting the statue of Llorona Right by the border It's really intense There's also something to the taboo of a mother killing her children. Oh, yeah That is in certain people

More scary some people are just not into it. Yeah But it is it's it's it's a specific taste. It's an acquired taste to kill your children But it's weird because there really is pointed because you see how many stories I was just following the Letitia Stouch case, which is another case of a woman killing her son Like I got really into this year for some reason but I'm watching a lot of Of course the Lori Vallow. Oh, yeah, I'm really getting into negligent child homicide Child negligence. I was a homicidal child negligence. Would you say you're getting into it? Like it's like hockey

It's like me and a couple of parents meet up a couple times a week and just talk about how to ignore best. Yeah Yeah, and you as the non parent child do we torture? Yeah, and you as the non parent you get to show up and think outside the box. Let's think I'm objective Yeah, and I can take a look at their kids and be like, well, she are She's her legs are not going to make her good for any sports. So I feel like that's the one we got to start out Yeah, that's great Now while La Llorona certainly still lives on an oral tradition to this day back in 1986 a woman in Houston Brought the legend of La Llorona to life

A 29 year old woman named Juana. It's like the live action Lion King rematch. This is scary A 29 year old woman named Juana Laija took her seven children on a bus to the Buffalo Bayou River Where the kids thought they were gonna have a picnic. Yeah, we're gonna have a picnic and all your favorites are gonna be there Beethoven's gonna be there Prince is gonna come and you guys love Zha Zha Gabor Honestly, you just if prince and Beethoven could rock and roll from one concert. Holy hell and be nice That'd be nice. It'd be great. I just I don't know. I don't know if the egos would match

I don't know what the egos would match. Oh, they're giving me an idea. I wouldn't pay They just feel like they'd all be like I work for someone Oh, so we got to do a gig now. He likes to do it. Oh, man. Just those rock and roll fantasies just Beethoven and prince Oh Oh, man, that's the best rock and roll jam I ever heard of yeah, it's no spunk in the love dicks whatever the fuck you listen to We're doing a ten-parter on the Yeah, they're one of our other highly successful show. Yes. Yes. The lungs make a great They're four metal

Yeah, the doobie brothers that's pedestrian. We're actually talking a lot of it. They're called the octopus bunch and they only do songs about shovels Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's 100 and I love it. You know what that's how I choose to live. No, that's how I must live. Yeah, great Well, indeed once this woman and her children arrived at Buffalo Arrived, I can't say Buffalo Bayou. I keep saying Buffalo Bayou It's because there's no such thing as a bayou in Buffalo. That's well Well, once they arrived at Buffalo Bayou park located just outside of downtown Houston None of this is right in the middle of houston Oh, okay

Wanna took her kids to the banks of the river and just started tossing them into the water one by one That's a terrible olympic sport and I'm glad they cut it out. Yeah, it's really bad. All right Her eldest however an 11 year old escaped and ran to get help a passerby named Chris sweet meanwhile heard screaming In turn to see Wanna struggling to throw the last remaining child into the water But by the time sweet ran to help five were already in the water and two were already floating face down After sweet jumped in he was joined by a security guard named Gilbert Chavez and together They were able to save three kids, but the five-year-old and the six-year-old the six-year-old named Judas Never heard anyone name in their kid Judas. I don't think that she wanted him to live

Yeah, if you're yeah, if your name is Judas, I mean, I actually kind of like that. I like the sound of the sound of the boy Yeah Yeah, well he died after being rushed to the hospital Now when police interviewed Wanna after the murders She said that she'd been worn down by a life of poverty and domestic abuse Noting that her husband had recently beaten her so badly that she couldn't eat. She was hearing voices It was later Discovered that she was bipolar and somewhat like child murderer and your a gates coincidentally

Also from Houston weird Wanna said that she wanted to kill her kids because she didn't want them to live in this quote-unquote bad world Anymore and she'd planned on jumping in after the kids were dead And that's why we're here to talk about social safety nets and why they're needed programs like snap for example Let's discuss the debt ceiling. Oh, I love a good c-span Conversation. What was the years? This was the 76 86 that is so horrible But I do find the difference between female family annihilators and male family annihilators A lot of times comes down to an emotional quotient The moms seem to be a lot sadder about killing everybody while the dads are just super excited to move New Jersey

Is this your version of women drive like this? Yeah, this is my club. Yeah, this is my club Here at Chuckle Hut, he's got some of the best murder compares and stories. Oh, yeah, the moms like to drown their kids I guess they want to go to the pool a dance. You know, they mostly bury them in a field I guess every father wants to be a gardener I love this bit Well with women what it seems like from what, you know, but what few child murderers I have studied a lot Especially like family annihilator

Uh child murderers when it comes to women like it's about mercy. It's about I want these kids to not have to suffer on earth anymore Therefore, I'm going to drown them That theme comes up a lot. That theme comes up a lot and with men It's usually like save you from my embarrassments. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well with men. It's usually like I just say I want to get out here actually, um Jessica and I just started talking and she's 28 and she's got different knockers than my personal this wife I currently have and I'm just they're all kind of in the way. Yeah, I'm just getting if I get riff I get the divorce I'm going to have to change my status on Facebook. Oh, yeah

hear it from everybody Yes, and so therefore put them in the ground. Yeah, reminds me of that dear Zach your redocumentary if you want to cry Okay, fuck that one. Reportedly though when Juana Lieja was interviewed by a Mexican folklorist the same year She killed her kids. It was said that she looked him in the eye and said I Am lie around But of course she was highly she's very mentally ill and actually texas gave her a very fair sentence It was surprising. You'd think they would have sent her to the fucking chair. Yeah, she got like deferred adjudication

Um, they made sure that she got some mental health Uh, help help, you know, yeah, they should have yeah Yeah, what else and then that was it. You got a couple of meetings and then she just got to go home I think there's probably a lot to that story that they they can handle that there's a lot going on Yeah, and to this day the La Llorona legend spreads and continues to evolve While she's still most active in mexico and the american southwest You know specifically texas the legend has made it as far away as gary indiana Um, where it's been blended with the legend of the phantom hitchhiker

A woman in white has been reported drifting around a suburban community named coday Which was once populated with mexican americans who worked the steel mills in gary indiana Supposedly the ghost is said to have killed her illegitimate children who had been fathered by an evil Factory owner she drowned them in the calumet river when she's picked up She usually asked for a ride to calumet harbour, but just before she and her driver arrived She disappears Never to be seen again god damn it man. I thought I was really gonna have some action here later on tonight mysteries of gary indiana

Just you can see the guy's pants down underneath his ankles and she disappears like wow you got damn it man I have the bumper sticker says ass grass You know cash no one drives for free. Honestly. I just I guess I am truly only interested in unavailable women Ghost women and that's lyarona. It's very crazy. It's really intense I would like to look up this book because it's really interesting to see how many different stories How often like because we were gonna tell some tales each one is very similar, but I think that's what's interesting It's the fact that all of the stories are very similar people see it again and again And if that were if the response from just our audience having seen lyarona. It was so crazy

I'm certain this must be I mean, it's just it's very prevalent. Yeah a lot of latin american society. Oh my goodness. All right, everyone Well, thank you for listening. Mary's also got a whole very uh intense Historical like past too. There's a lot of historical context to her. Yeah, I never saw her. We did it multiple times Do you remember when we did it on the show? Uh, I actually don't remember. I don't want to say this was really early. It must have been Oh, we did it. No, we would just do it at your house. Probably we may have just done it at the house I think we were hammered hammered and just did bloody Mary like four or five times No recollection of that. What's your house where the original studio was? But that would be 228 and a half ballroom

Yeah, yeah house that was when you walked in sober. You thought you were drunk because it was on a slant Yeah, it was tilted. Yeah. Yeah. I was a little carrot. I love that little house Oh, no, I still think about the house is a wonderful place. It was a magical magical little dirt ball It really was I miss smoking inside. Yeah, you can I'll Light up right now my friend. Oh cool. I'm like Dave Chappelle All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. That was very educational and awesome Uh, we have a bunch of stuff. You know where to find us You can see all the or shit check out our series X and show it's Monday 6 p.m.

And also check out our stream live in the patreon I'll also uh, spring hill jack coffee. You go and check that shit out. Oh, uh, we do we have any do what are your dates 16? I got some coming up in july 16th. I've been told I have to market it. So come on out That's gonna be uh, well look at my look at my instagram. I'll show you where it is I'll show you we're so bad at this I know I can see my manager or our manager just yelling right now And I will pitch the brighter side live is happening 9 p.m. At the pack theater tonight. This is coming out Friday So tonight the brighter side live. So come check it out at the pack in Los Angeles

Awesome. Yes, and I will be in the cops comedy club Located somewhere And next thursday on may 25th season three of no dogs in space is officially premiering Yes, and spun season is also coming out this week. We got a new spun season. Awesome. Awesome. We can't wait to see you Next thursday. Yeah, can't. No, that's that's my joke number one. It's a what do you call a mingro with a wrist? You call her a cunt. It's cunt Because you see her next thursday thursday and also we only we record on thursdays They uh, they listen on fridays, and I see you every day. Yeah, I see everyone all the times in my dreams

Maybe it's top hat Oh god, it's not you're the cruiser. Let's wrap it up. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Don't go to the water. Hail yourself Hail Satan Ergene Look, it's delicious everybody. My yorona. Yeah Nailed it. Hey, la yorona. It's the band that's saying my shorona. Uh the knack the knack Nice This show is made possible by listeners like you

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