Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 541: Creepypasta XIX - The Law of the Jungle

Episode Date: August 4, 2023

Mmm, It's that time again... hope you're hungry because we just boiled up a fresh, tasty pot of delicious Creepypasta just for you... and it's... al dente - featuring tales of public bathroom horror, a headfirst journey into "The Horse-Scape", a Bag lady that no one seems to like, and a breakdown of the do's and don'ts to creating proper Mothman-based erotica.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. Yes! On the left. Ha ha ha! Why did the club go in the way? That's when the cannonball some started. What was that?

Oh, yeah! Okay. Okay. Okay. Good luck for me. We ready, boys? Come on. All right.

You ready? Come on. Um, some way. My goal this week. We ready boys. Come. All right. We ready to go. Come on. So my goal this week because we've done, this is their 19th. Greedy past. I'm 19 19 19 19.

All enough to Dan or but not all enough to drink alcohol. Yep. Or smoke cigarettes. That is really got. Wow. Or rent a car. No. Or 25. Can't. Let's see, what else can't you do at 19? I mean, nothing fun.

Re-creepy, boss does. I mean, you'd better, honestly, you should stop. Yeah. But I'm your exchange of 19. But I wanted to find something genuine, like genuinely frightening. I've always say that I always say this. So this 19 times and you have failed 19 times. Every time, because you make it all erotic all the time. Well, this is different. You're just genuinely, you are absolutely incapable of not making it,

not being a cloudy man. Guys, I work hard at being scary. I am. Yes, the economy. He's being scary. That's good. But I went to you and I went back to my old stomping grounds. Sure, I went back to X. To X. On four-channels. Wow. That's a four-challels. And I gotta say, man, they have gotten just so stupid. Well, yeah, you said this every time.

I just had a time, I gotta go back. But no, I went to go over. You just said this the last time and the time before that time before that. Each time Google, this time when I found was what they called the conspiracy theory iceberg chart. Right. Right. It shows this whole long thing.

You look at this. You look at this image, right? It's this long thing. A very strange thing. So it starts with the tip of the iceberg where it starts with like, you know, Trump Russia collusion, COVID, and J.F.A. Epstein. The last thing on here is called the final understanding in

the mocksha tear. There you go. Right. God is being raped. It's one of them as well. Which is probably some part of the thing about the logos and some I don't really know the other other terms, but I started looking up stuff to kind of see what would be spooky enough. Right. Ah, man. It's just not there. You know, I want to be scary. So maybe, maybe something scary. I mean, I chose all the stories. I know, I Maybe maybe something scary I mean, I chose all the stories for this episode. There's a couple of things in here That's the last podcast of the left bed hanging out with Henry and Marcus. We're doing creepypasta 19 I'm sure you could all figure that out. Yeah, Boogie AC big

Do's and it's very good this time this time we're having spaghetti lunch And I think that there might be some stories here that might tickle your frighten penis. Well, you know, that would send it further into your pelvis. And we have it in your heart. It is a tickle of frightened penis. Henry, can you please tell our audience

to roll up a hogs like in Gistom? Of course, buddy. I mean, you know, first of all, have you taken your blood pressure medication today? That's not for our audience, that's for you. Because when I found truly, sometimes, chasing that with a Bong Rips, actually, real nice.

Right? You let that kind of come in and there. What the doctor said? What I would recommend, right? Because this is why I'm now, I'm not full in to a whole world of weed, especially during COVID. I got real fucking nerdy with it.

And I really like it. I think the key is man, you gotta get a grinder, right? Because it's now many of the things. So before you start this episode, before we get into this number one, call your mom, tell her to go fuck herself. Don't do that. All she's doing is coming down on you, been like my tile floor, my tile floor is in ready yet, right?

Yeah. All your mom's tile floor not ready yet. It is Yeah, all the tile floor not ready yet. It is honestly it is taking longer than it should. It's what what else does your mom have to do? Kate, she's just wait for the dial. She's extremely busy doing I don't know what she's extremely busy. Okay. But you know, then then and once you're done with that, take off your shoes, take off your

socks, put your shoes back on. Okay. Take the pants off over the shoes. Welcome to Vodville. Nice. That's what I used to do. That's how I got to be a good performer. I learned how to do it very quickly.

I learned how to remove because when you are, because I mostly lose skin, right? I suck in. My pants can just fall straight to the ground. There's true performer. I'm born to be a performer. I have a performer of DNA. Absolutely. All right.

What I want you to do is go, my main thing is now I separate my kefs, right? And so I collect them in a little tray. You see, that's the dust. You can't even do the people get to smoke. You're getting it. It takes about 20 minutes. Okay. And so, you got shoes on your pants or around your ankles.

I guess you're wearing underwear. Yes, you are. And you, 50, 50, 50 again on you because I'm like, I can't I don't know what chair you're sitting on because for me, Natalie is openly expressed is probably good. If I'm a guy, you know, I very rarely sit nude. Well, the whole hits right on the, don't we? We need to. It is.

We know. We know. I don't sit on my chair in the office nude because it can leave a full streak. Yeah, I would never know when you're going to get a rouse. Do we? Hey, we've got it all nude everywhere policy in our place. You can set anywhere you want, wearing whatever you want or nothing at all. You want that so hot market?

Is that real? Yeah, we never even, I can't, it's weird to me that people even think about it. You sit naked on your couch in the living room wherever, yeah. And his wife just said, so what? I mean, it doesn't matter. I'm not sitting on this couch anymore, but you're not going to be eating off of it. You don't know what I do.

Yeah. I mean, continue. I just didn't know because I actually felt like there should be a divide. See, I agree. I had to put some cardboard down. I have this girlfriend back in college, she used to yell at me anytime. I sat naked on the comforter on our bed. Does it date your filthy ass?

That's the bad. That's the bad. It was a little rude. It was, it was, well, she was rude. It's, Sarah's like it. It sounds also you probably, she also probably had a point. I, she might anyway. So with the key.

Yeah. So I separated by Sativa and Indika and I have two separate grinders, one for Indika and one for Sativa. And when I do is I can't separate my strains. No, listen, you fucking asshole. Oh God. I just, the audience, I have a separate grinders one for Indica and one for Sativa when I do is I can't separate my strains. No, listen, you fucking asshole. I had the little utensils that I purchased. I went to a store. I have a little spoon.

Oh, yeah, no, I know you're all ready to go. Just smoke it, Joe. The audience is not ready to go. You know, you pour a little bit of, I do, you know, a little Sativa scoop of the Sativa key. How are you making players? That is boring. I mix it up. Then I take a scoop of indica.

This is completely real. I scoop it on top. I put it into a keyf layer, just right on top of like a layer cake, right? Yeah, yeah. And then I use my handpick. I gotta say, man, this is a really good way to not be able to talk to your family anymore. All right. Like it, it just makes, it takes all your responsibilities a human away.

Sure. So then you spunk it. Sp your responsibilities a human away. Sure. So then you smoke it. Smoking. All right, everyone will go through those steps and follow them in order. Otherwise this episode isn't going to be scary at all. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. Okay.

So Marcus, you have done a great job. Wonderful research is always finding the tales of who that we're going to talk about and read today. Henry Thomas to Braski. I believe you're going to talk about. And to read today, Henry Thomas Tabraski, I believe you're up first. Okay. Yeah. I feel like I'm in the DMV HTZ. Oh, yeah. Okay. So this is public submitted by Austin bro.

Yeah. And in full disclosure, these were all sourced from boggleach.com. Oh, cool. Info disclosure, these were all sourced from boggleach.com. Oh, cool. School creepypasta. Are you sure you want to give them the number? We gave them the, that's the font that's Delta. That's fine.

They can go read as many as they like. They don't come here for the creepypasta. They come here to listen. That's right. They come here to listen. Okay. Put on your best drag outfit and read to the children. Come on now.

Come on. Here we go. Oh my God, there's been 9-11-2. I just got told to my seeker service. All right. I've always hated public bathrooms. It's just so awkward trying to go with other people around. When I was a little kid, I'd sometimes get so nervous, I'd forget how to unbutton my pants. Man, this is scary. I never went during school all through elementary and most of junior high, most of junior, most of our junior high. You always had that one day where you had to break your own code.

Oh, yeah. I got a liquid shit. Full liquid shit. I have, I've told that story about how I got to, I went into a stall in the middle when I was running sound on a talent show. And I was forced to do by the tech class. And I, uh, I went into a stall in the middle when I was running sound on a talent show and I was forced to go by the tech class and I had a liquid shit in the middle of the show and I ran down to this theater bathroom to do it as quickly as possible and I fucking the shit fell out of me so fast and I got all over the rim of this seat and got all over the inside of my pants and I had to take off my pants and

then I looked over and realized there's a toilet paper and then I crawled underneath the station between that area and into the other stall and then I looked and I saw an older Asian man and his granddaughter were coming in and they just watched this shit covered a three hundred pounds six senior old just crawling around on his style between bathrooms. And that's the end of the story. Well fantastic. Great. I can see why you've always hated public bathrooms. I've always hated public bathrooms. And I've been getting it over. I've been getting over it lately. Since high school, I've been able to go without too much stress. And now that I'm in college, I even sometimes use the urinal if I'm the only one in the room like I thought I was today.

All right. It was the ground floor bathroom in the library. I was feeling pretty comfortable because it was almost always empty. Still mostly out of habit, I checked the stalls for feet, none. Time to whizz in peace. I headed for the urinal, I had to go pretty bad. Well, pretty bad. So I was the only one who got me through my league. This is pretty scary. When I heard the only one that made me through my lead. This is pretty scary. When I heard the creaking, the distinctive creak of something

that was definitely not supposed to be creaking, and then there was a moan. Ah, low and raspy. Shit, I thought nervously. Must've been something to eat in there after all. Ah, the moaning and the creaking intensified. No. It's a 300 pound Henry's, a browser covering his own shit.

And then just as I was shaking off, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff. Sound like someone had dropped a bowling ball on a piggy bank, followed by water surging from shattered pipes. Jesus Christ. Were they so fat they shattered the toilet? Oh, not the most mature thought. But the first one that popped in my head, yellowed water started flowing across the floor from the handicapped stall. I lifted one foot in silent disgust and froze.

Swirls of red joined the stream pooling on the floor. On the current sales, what? Is it shit? No, it had veins, and sometimes hair, or flaps of what looked like skin, and was that an eyeball? The groaning started in the stall again. I nearly asked if they needed help, but I stopped myself for some reason. What was wrong with me? Whoever was in there must be hurt, apparently pretty badly, if pieces of them were floating down the drain. I was still standing there when the stall doors swung open, pushed open by the wall of flesh shed had slumped against it.

It was fat. I don't like a fat person. It was corpulet fat like an elephant seal or a hippo and lumpy. Huge and pale and fleshy with blue veins visible just beneath the semi-transparent skin like the underbelly of a biology class frog cadaver. It lay flat on its face or what I assume was its face for a moment before struggling before struggling. For struggling for struggling for struggling. Undeirously to his feet.

With stubby arms pinwheeled. We even puffy swollen palms and threatened to engulf stubby baby fingers. Okay. Really good. I'm a synth retin' to engulf stubby baby fingers. Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha. Okay. I slowly slid my junk back into my pants as it found its footing. I took a few cautious steps forward. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha foot for my face, jaw clenched, futively trying to will it out of existence, to make myself invisible, to not to be here right now.

Suddenly, whew, whew, trembling, I slowly turn my hand. It had tripped again, slipped in the steady stream of water spewing from the ruined toilet

in the handicap stall. It's headed bashed against the other urinal in the one right next to me, half ripping it from the wall, adding another source of toilet water to the day lose. It's scary. Get me a bite. It's not me. It's not me. It's not me. It's buffing. This is a nice project in a little bit. What's a flesh on the vayage to the bathroom drain? Its head was suddenly not human. It must have been three feet wide with a stubby snout and reptilian mouth filled with

short, thin, evenly spaced needle teeth that spanned the entire width. And it was making a man cry about the end of beegee acting. Background acting. I do that. Bulging, totey eyes background acting, I do that. Bulging toadie eyes stared blindly and I'm blinking. From either side of its freakish face, which was bent awkwardly towards the sky

after its high speed appointment with the porcelain, it must be dead. It must have been dying already the way it was, gasping, struggling to support its own weight. It had to have been smashed, its own brains in. I was just starting to exhale in relief when it stirred again. Uh oh.

Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh.

Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. It's helpful. It's left with the urinal. It's had swinging lifelessly from its shoulders. It was if it was hanging on only by the skin, like ahead of a mascot costume that had been dislodged.

I valiantly resumed my interrogation of the bathroom wall above my urinal. It plotted through the flooded restroom. Pish, pish, pish, pish, past me. It stopped the distinct, leaned on it heavily for support, seemed to check its face in the mirror. Though neither its eyes pointed straight to the glass or even showed signs of movement or comprehension. It poddnumbly at the faucet, turning on the water, more with its doughy palm than any sort of dixterity of its fish, digital fingers, gets splashed the water on itself.

And that seemed to calm us somewhat. Despite myself, I coughed, jerked suddenly in turn so that shoulders faced me though it's head was staring into space to its right, seemingly noticing me for the first time, and held up its hands apologetically. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Right morning. All right. I had a record. He gets rolled back towards the door and then turning away and half lunging, half falling at the bathroom door. Stubby limbs scrambling on the wet bathroom tile. I stood in the middle of the room alone again. I zipped my fly.

A sudden curiosity overcame me. I tipped toad casually towards the handicap stall. The door is still wide open to look at the toilet. The toilet had burst like like a pop zit, or maybe closer to a ruptured abscess. Shards of porcelain, like bits of egg shell, clung to a meaty, tumorous wok. A broken pipe,

jutted from the mass, like cut arteries, oozing a mixture of blood and sewer water. Clumps of hair dotted the mass, and a couple things that looked eerily far too much like human fingers. I put my hands on my knees and dry heave. I staggered out the bathroom. We're getting my frantically for that quivering thing. No sign of it but a couple of wet footprints.. I'm venture further down to the stacks towards the exit. I noticed it led to a Chevy Silverado.

Interesting. A couple of books had been pulled half-hazardly from a shelf and lay in a massive, irregular, rounded damp spot on the carpet. I stemmed gingerly around it as I passed the checkout counter. I told the receptionist that the men's bathroom was out of order. Boy, shaky. I still don't like going to public restrooms, but I hate going into public restrooms alone worse.

You get it? Now he used to hate going into it. And now he with a good nice short story that really went somewhere. Wow. Did you just zip up? I like it. I like the story. Yes, he said I stood in the middle of the room alone.

Again, I zip my fly. I zip my fly. So yes, do you remember the what's his name? Remember that video you showed? Remember like it was good from back in the day. It was like the the weird like pink, quirky, jerky style man walking down the street going like like that. That's what that guy reminds me of. Yeah. I just imagine to be like, was it? I like to think of as like, you know, like Bobo and Lil Devil from. Oh, yeah. I do remember one of the shit, the scariest nightmares I'd ever had as a child was a reoccurring nightmare where I saw a flattened man.

Mm-hmm. That would come up to the door of my house. Oh, my God. Like in Beetlejuice. They are a judge doom in a who frame Roger up. Yes. But he was like, he was like smeared and he would walk in a parallel line. He's got my eyes. Yeah, man.

Yeah, man. I don't know what it is. You want them in? No. I'm not talking to people, but then I left and then I found a unicorn made out of GAC. Because a unicorn made out of GAC. I remember hearing shit out of me, man. Man, we used to just have fun with science and chemicals. Gak was just God knows what cancer that caused

Gak is still live and in this one was the one that had the little crunchies in it It was like a deck derivative. It's got a spiv something like that It was cool though. It was awesome. It had texture to it. Yeah, the living styrofoam That's what I was made of what was was it called? I don't know. Poop poot. Link go. Something like that. It's something fun.

Pring, pring, pring, pring. Nima Toads. All right, so this is now Kisla. This is yours. This is your long thank God. I give you the sharp ones. Thank you. I love that.

Nima Toads. This is submitted by Inferolthin. Infernal thing. This is a truly Kisselton. I will say Kissel's reading over the years. It has improved. Yeah. He's faster. I'm a fly.

I read for fun. I only read for knowledge. You guys read your little books to try to escape, but I don't escape reality. I live in it. I've never thought you'd say it's your right. You're absolutely correct. It I don't escape reality. I live in it. I've played Neverfucking Day. It's your right. You're absolutely correct. It's good to not read.

No, I read my stories. I read my articles. But I don't read this bullshit for try to, for, for pleasure. Do you come in and say stuff like, I read a news article that says pigeons are giving people cancer? Like, you have like some weird, I don't know. I have a father's sense of knowledge. I think we may have just like pinpointed like the, the first thing you need to start working

on what is gapism? Get out. No, no, no, no, no, buddy. I'm so it's, it's going to get you're two in. But the one thing that we all suffer from is a, now that we're also doing more of the sub stuff on Twitch, I cannot read a new, a username. I cannot, I can't believe how stupid I become as soon as it's a username. Yeah. It is hard. So in forlient thing, internal thing, here we go. It all started with a domino pain. The frequency of these symptoms got me worried that I went to the hospital to see what it was. Is this real? No, this is from this guy. Neatletime.

No, I'm just also, because I mean, I feel like you might be the only time I had to go to the hospital when I broke my arms last year that no one seemed to care about. We did. We cared about it and you played it off. I had to. If we were at burn my hand, I also played that. No, you, you, you, you, I drew a lot and no one even fucking knows it. She's right.

I have any. We try to show concern and you just, no, no, no. I drew a lot of no one even fucking knows it. She's crazy. I haven't even gotten. We try to be try to show concern and you just know, no, no, no, no. No, I'm so fat. I'm fat. It all started with some abdominal pain. And the big for the frequencies of these summer of these symptoms got me worried and so worried that I went to the hospital to see what it is. And the doctor told me I've gotten infected with intestinal worms and he told me that these

worms in particular and are highly dangerous And I should get operated on. He did the removal operation and offered me some pills. And then he said I should take some more pills to prevent future infection. Despite taking the pills a few weeks later, I felt the same symptoms. This is like bad. I had to read the doctor to get operated on again. Sneamitone. And he gave me. He gave me guess to the end. Oh, I don't know. He gave me those pills. And he gave me those pills again. Now I know what the coincidence is, but another few weeks later, I got infested again. This is ridiculous. And that wasn't all. I got free. I got a real.

There's a ridiculous. I got a re-inspect a real. I got a real. I got a real. I got a real. I got a real. What the hell are these pills if they don't do their job? One day I squeezed a pill too hard and it opened. Strangely, the interior was filled with some white foam on the day of the seventh operation. I regained consciousness during the operation, but luckily I was still numbed when I turned towards the doctor, rice to my

whore that he was eating the freshly removed worms. And I could see kisses reaction immediately. He just be like, oh, did you even pay for those worms? Yeah, those are my worms. So he was using me as a warm harvest because he wanted to eat. You want to hear worms? Yeah. Okay, boogie man.

One more there was a wrestler. Boogie man or something like that. You're thinking of the villain from Nightmare Before the, okay, boogie man. One more there was a wrestler, boogie man or something like that. You're thinking of the villain from Nightmare Before Christmas, though, boogie man who's made of worms. I know that. But there's also a pro wrestler who would like, would eat worms. That rings a vague bell. Yes.

Yeah. Was that the controversial? The guy that, the voodoo guy? No, that was just pop a shango. This guy was like legit. He would legitimately eat worms. Oh, he even told it's around worms. Oh.

They're gross. Yeah. The bogeyman. The bogeyman. Oh, right. Well, there it is. A scary kind of medical one. Yeah.

Now. Fly from North Laid. Well, this one's called, same as it ever was. This is never was. This is not, oh, sorry. Tipped submitted by sticky dot. This is not my beautiful house is not, oh, sorry. Submitted by Sticky. This is not my beautiful house. I love that song.

I do that. This is not my beautiful life. Yep. lyrics from once in a lifetime. Yes indeed. The only song by talking heads that most people know. That's not true. The most burning down the house.

It's a smart thing. For Sticky. That is. It's one of the most famous bands of all time. Yeah, but it's the most relevant song in my life right now. This wasn't my house. And that wasn't my wife. This is cool. It's like that chick on the plane.

I've said this before. It's so obvious that they won't stop trying to fool me. My wife is five foot three with black hair and a bob cut. Okay. Beautiful green eyes. Nice. Nice. What's sitting at the other side of the table

is a mop oh no a mop last not good a mop that has been dyed black with those little googly eyes glued to it no no no there are long strings attached to it and they reach up through the ceiling that you listen to less talking at. Yeah. Whenever my quote unquote wife moves, she just bounces around and a high pitched voice that sounds nothing like my wife's velvety tones and more like a puppet off of the company's head. Aubrey and Lisa don't seem to notice anything different. Those are my kids. Yeah, I figured, but they're both two years old.

They're twins. Oh, good. That makes sense. So I'm just chalking that up to childhoods to petty. Yeah, they're just fucking stupid. Yeah, they're just fucking stupid. They don't fucking kid. Don't fucking do your fucking dirty, each other all the time. They don't get anything dumbest fucking kids on the thought. These moron kids. This is not my house either. No, man. For one thing, the walls in my house are not colored like a coloring book, but instead painted like that of a normal person's house. Have you tried listening to James Taylor? Oh, I mean, if you try to write something, it's just something calming. How do you equate James Taylor? Oh, you mean, you're not talking about that to neurotic. Yeah, you'll then, yeah, talking

about that's been a bad effect on God. Yeah, just yesterday morning, I know you were dumb. That song is sad. It is. It's sad. It's a play crash. Yeah. Another thing about this house that's weird,

sure, is that all the furniture is hard. Even the bed, I could open a pillow yesterday and found that it was actually a piece of puffed up cardboard. Oh my gosh. If I haven't received enough emails that do read like this, it would not be as scary. I have seen these emails in our side stories, LPO TV. Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, it seems like this is kind of a, maybe a setting for a, yeah, I don't know who's doing this. Mm-hmm. But I'm getting fed up. David burn. I haven't been able to leave the house in three damn days because my damn mop wife keeps blocking the door and saying she wants to spend more time with me, even sneaking out at night is impossible.

Since the windows seem to be nailed shut, although I haven't seen any nails. That's the biggest mystery yet. Yeah. If this doesn't stop us, if this doesn't stop soon, I will do whatever it takes to get myself and the kids out of here. No father should ever get to the term whatever it takes. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Next chapter. Oh, today, okay, I pushed my mop wife. I didn't mean to, but she forced my hand. She's still your wife. It's a mop.

She was laying on the couch, pretending to watch a program on our cardboard television. I told my God, when I asked her why she was doing this to me, I'm gonna act all of this out tonight. Yeah, my life Oh And she knew damn well what she was doing. Mm-hmm. I grabbed her by the handle and shook her Streaming in her face not seeing anything just screaming The mob's I hope she's a mom then I shoved her she flew backwards and landed on the floor Mopful I've then began to cry I ran for the door the door was unlocked so I opened it and went through it as quickly as possible

Great barely forgetting the fucking stupid kids. Well, they're fine. I mean yeah They're stupid fucking morons, but I came out in my bedroom Have we not left the house at all? Now, this can't be a nightmare. It's lasted far too long. Yeah. Yeah. But now my mom wife won't speak to me. Oh, no. Lord, you can have the talk to your shovel mistress. Absolutely. And the children seem frightened that daddy will hurt them too.

I would never hurt my kids. Sounds like something that someone's about to hurt their kids would say. No, we said he would never hurt his kids. Okay. Chapter three. Aubrey was replaced yesterday. Okay, that's one of my kids. Yes.

It's not that. And yes, there's only three characters. So yeah, we caught up. I'm caught. Choose fucking her anyway. A small dustpan took her place. She sounds just like her mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Only it pretends to speak like a baby. Goo Goo Gaga. Goo Goo Gaga. She's just like a janitor's like fantasy or something. It might be. I'd be could say full sentences before. I've taken to ignoring her and not letting Lisa out of my sight, Lisa's the other kid. The other kid, yes. Of course. I don't want them to take her and not letting Lisa out of my sight. Lisa's the other kid.

The other kid. Yes. Of course. I don't want them to take her to while mop wife was pretending to cut up chicken for dinner, which meant she was bobbing up and down in front of a cutting board with raw meat. No, no, not on it. I came up with a plan. I kind of want to see this show.

I know. It's optional. Yeah, because it's not even about the mop or the dustpan. It's about the argument they had. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Chapter four. Okay. I cut her strings. mop wipes, not dustpan obrize. Okay. Real or not, I will never hurt my children. See? They don't hurt the child. Dustpins don't have strings. Do they? There she says, it's just cute. Oh, she fell to the floor. Milk pouring out of her mop strand hair and the voice shrieked. Yeah.

The house shook and I fell to my knees. Lisa held on to Aubrey and was starting to be lifted into the air. I grabbed them both and pulled them back down as best as I could, but whatever was controlling the strings was too strong. All I could do was watch as Lisa and dust pan Aubrey were pulled into the ceiling. I climbed up on a chair and slammed the remains of mop wife against the ceiling screaming for them to return my children, but it accomplished nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Nothing at all, apparently. I'm alone now in this cardboard house. It's like a screwdriver or something. I think this is a screwdriver talking. I've been writing down every possibility, aliens, government, social experiment, psychotic breakdown, but nothing makes sense. I mean, if it was to Billy Joel, this might all just be piles of spaghetti. Yeah, also I heard a remake of we didn't start

the fire with new modern stuff. I want to get his word. Sounds awful. Sounds awful. It sounds awful, bro. Whatever had me as abandoned me. The food ran out two days ago, and I've been eating cardboard. I'm right.

I've been eating this. I'm eating this. I mean, that's the bug. Is you like a cockroach? I wonder if my real family is in a cardboard house somewhere else. But mostly I regret killing my mob wife. See, I like life during wartime. It's great song. She wasn't my beautiful wife.

No. But it was better than being alone here. And that shows, don't just chase everybody away because even shitty company is company. Well, maybe, maybe also Perry Saturn and a wrestler, he had to have an entire storyline involving a mop as punishment. Interesting. Yeah, because he hurt somebody in the ring.

I like that story. I actually like that story. What is not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not But it's like the story. I love the story. Yeah, I love the story. I like it. What did you like about it the most, you know? The mop wife.

The mop wife. Of course. And the voice. And the voice. What about Lisa? You never even care about Lisa. No, you don't care about Lisa. She got taken up through the ceiling,

but the string. She was with Aubrey. Yeah, she was with Aubrey. Dustpan Aubrey grabbed onto her and the whole thing. Lisa, okay. I'm like a P.W. Herman world. Yeah, it is. Yeah.

I love it. It's supposed to be a P.W. Herman world. No. He just wakes up one day, he's got my wife. What if P.W. Herman is in Helen? This is a reality now. I actually really like that concept though. I don't. For a show.

P.W. in Helen? Not in real life, but in a show. That'd be awesome. Yeah, that's true. All right, well, very scary straight. I actually like that. I love that shirt. I don't like the idea of cardboard in my pillow.

No. I mean, they're actually it's mostly cardboard anyway. No, it's not. No, it's not. And there's no cardboard anyway. It's not cardboard in my pillow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn I'll just like buy his whole disrography rather than listen to that. It was horrible. Here we go. Case file, two spooky.

Yeah. I have two reals submitted by Thomas F. Johnson. Two spooky, two B funny. Esquire, Esquire indeed. C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c on the pier. It's a creepy pasta is all about interpretation. So if you can interpret it however you like. It's like in the early right, you get different pasta dish, whether it's Venetian, Tuscan, Sicilian. Because it could be red crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack

crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack crack I'm the Timberman H&M has Matt suit stepped off on the Are you I love it I'm going That's it It's good Timberman's on the big

I know the rest of it I don't know how to do it We still adds in this episode Yes, spooky Crack crack With the timbers on the floor. Okay. Okay. I'm just gonna move on. I know what you like. It's like we're in the sky. We all started dancing because we heard fiddle music. And we're just like our knees are like my whiteness just like made my spirit alive.

The agent in the hazmat suit stepped off the one person government issued motorboat Flat flat I don't want you see doing this Why is it so it's if Johnson doing this Tommy why do you do it all like this? Flat flat flat Would the tape mark do not enter quarantine being pushed back to the ages what I love to hear about stepped under to see what the damage was Yes, went to compressed air to the cattle boat gun and his side It's three Thomas Johnson. It's hard to keep moving. It's a long story. He's got a style. Oh my god. Yeah, this is really long

You'll book it. Okay, let's and as the is the agent thought he had least their deaths will be quick and painless and shriek with the man dragging himself down the pier screaming under the weight of the cartoon. Which shape head shaped tumor crushing his spine big tumor shape like a witch. Yeah. So this guy he's looking to take two more shape like a witch on it. Right. And yeah, and he's a government agent and he's got a cattle gun. Yeah, so this guy he's looking, it's a tumor shape like a witch on him, right? Yeah, and he's a government agent, and he's got a cattle gun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like, they get, she's got the bull,

and yeah, you're sure. No, but the big boss man, just to have her to mount these. Yeah, the Mounties. Remember them? Tape team. I'm taking wrestling that they're. The agent looked down.

The man was weeping and moaning, like a cuck. As the great green head tumor cackled mindlessly. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's like evil dead. It was proper protocol to take out any stragglers on the course to patient zero.

He placed a bolt gun to the man's head. He placed a bolt gun to the man's head. And Mercy was granted. The cacophonous hecatome became more evident as he stepped into the town of Port Rizzley. But cartoon Halloween hell out of Bosch, cartoonish spooks growing like great fungal cancer gardens of orange and black and poop. It's a Halloween vibe. It's a Halloween vibe. This is very, this is very a crystal world jj baller. And then also I just realized, oh, no country for old men. Wasn't that the guy that got into the years?

Emma Fletcher coin. Emma Fletcher coin. Flip the coin. Flip the coin. Cackling jackal enters, grew out of the sides of buildings like Fleshy Warts and Ghost like White masses dragged their way out of the sewers. He walked past. A dog was dragged past the ancient howling as the giant, gull-eyed spider touched to its head,

walked down the asphalt. Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, as they boldly protruded from dragging their useless limbs in a way that should not exist. Wow, this is if a annihilation meets a spirit Halloween. Yeah. Oh, yes. There were corpses everywhere, of course. Of course. Oh, my God. There were corpses everywhere, of course.

Colorful blights of spooky cancer, crushing pale and bloodless bodies of men, women, and children like piles of Halloween decorations, almost comical. There weren't so many of them crushed between twitching goblins, mommies, nibals, smothering the faces of the dead clawing, screaming against sidewalks and edifices of still moving mommies and eyeballs and stretched black cats. Cool. I like it. I want Halloween to come already. The agent felt like he was choking on his own heart. They walked through the streets, granting bitter mercy to whatever he could, man, women, children, animals.

There was no cure for the sickness of the world, no escape, whether as a victim or a watcher. Every step de-hope, you might get better, and every step de-whisper was further gouged in the soul as the bro Halloween plague continued to unstopping. The living amongst them were the worst. A line of huge skeletons merrily danced on streets of tumorous jackal lanterns and black cats as the people growing out of them screamed and paid. Wow. Wow. Kind of fun though.

Wow. Right child was dragged by its leg. It's a huge purple owl. Flapped and flew from building to building in the same mindless pattern over and over again. A tangle of humans are trapped. Scout first in a meaty rat king of Dracula's. And wolf as they fought over the scraps of corpses living in the street. Curses living in the street.

Wow, that's huge corpses. Yada yada that that's huge corpses. I need living in the street. They're dead in the street. If they were living, they'd be out there doing carry on. They'd be telling that girls that they loved them, but they didn't. Also, speed of owls, you know, big boy from Outcast. He has owls.

Wow. And he records with them. That's actually very cute. Isn't that kid adorable? Yeah. A whole haunted house. The size of a Porto John was dragging itself through the street. Wow. The smell of the wreckage and humanity growing out of it. It went nowhere in particular. All were given mercy. As the agent could, as he walked towards his destination. A sign reading, Cost Low Costumes wasumes was his destination, middle of the piles of dying and undying, and nearly blotted out the heavens.

The brickwork and windowsill barely visible amongst the need growing from the rancid edithes when he stepped upon and lay in this heart of this hell. The Halloween Corps. Everyone could find it in some discount aisle on November 1st. It was growing from that building's walls, moving, howling, hooting, choking, croaking, laughing, gathering, moaning. Every noise you can imagine yelling, creaking. I feel that.

Also, it is a good reminder. If you do want Halloween decorations for next year, you get, I just bought a, I just bought a giant animatronic Mars attack sale. And then I'm gonna use my partner I do love that but I was gonna say is you buy them the day after October after Halloween because then they're on sale I'm early so you get them in because that's exactly what I would say right now you're actually buying them a peak price You won't out you run out you bought him a threat You didn't get the day you run out

It goes like lump of white pointed at the agent going, OOOOOOHHHHH! As he went in. OOOOOHHHHH! That's scary. You payed it no mind. The lumps of pumpkin, witch and skeleton roll a dancer inside there. With only a few glimpses of musty floorboards and half torn piles of costumes being

gnawed upon by mummies and tiny entries. He loves mummies. He does by mummies and tiny entries. He loves mummies. He does love mummies and the word edifice. Yeah. I love mummies too. I think that mummies don't get enough play. I think that mummies need to be redone in a way that's for the kids.

I would actually love to discuss this. And they need to go to high school and do cocaine. Can we do the revisionist history with the mummy like we do with the zombie? Can we have fast mummies? Why can't they be fast? Well, I feel like it's the mummy, that mummy. But the mummy didn't, it's more than the classic mummy. It shouldn't matter about the speed of the mummy

because the curse is all encompassing. Right. It moves at the speed of curse. Yes. Which is quite fast. Which is absolutely it is. Immortate dead. Yes.

Why, Neige and Thought, is the story continuing? Why? Did you have to do this to yourself to them? Why didn't you listen? He reached the back door, grabbing the knob and the eyeball growing through it and inside upon the wall covered in the tumors. So the point where it was almost impossible to tell where the tumors began and the human ended was a man in a shredded cheap magician's outfit with eyes begging for death.

Hello, from already. The man in the wall slurred. Druele coming out of what it could only barely be seen as a mouth. A limp wand lay in his right hand, a busted top hat on his head. Hello, Frank. Oh, a limp wand lay in his right hand. Oh, a busted top hat on his head. Hello, Frank. The agent said, see, walks up with the cattle balls gone air fun. So he knew him. Yeah, you know,

money. And his name is Marty. Henry's drooling. Smarty. I guess I went too far last time. I went too far last time. The man said, yes. Next you did.

The agent said as he put the cattle bolt gun against what could be fatally discerned as the man's head amongst the pumpkins and tumors. Smarty. Please. Please tell me. Yeah, I think that's for this. At this point, yeah. He breathed.

The tumors post. They soundeded. The tumors pulsed. They sounded in hollow, mindless screams. And the agent obliged. So you see that I do not see there was a magician. And the magician he did. He did. So the magician called a magician named Chris is a Hollywood adventure. That's the one guy named Marty from the CDC, right?

To shoot him in the head. So he was a magician. I think so. I think it was just never said it just a one person government. He's from the government, but it never said that he was from the CDC. And to think this all started with crack, crack, crack, crack, it was on the pitch as the agent has been happy in the beginning. I know.

Well, I so he so happy in the beginning. I know. Well, so the magician worked there. He made a curse. Yeah. And then everything came to life and then he had to be shot. Well, everything, everything began growing out of everything else. Everything Halloween became tumorous. I do understand it.

It did grow. It did grow. And this is the point during the show at this point because every time we do a creepy fossa, there are somebody out there that there those being like you're not taking it seriously Do you actually quite good because as you see Halloween is a bit of a thought epidemic and you're like It is away from my family this Halloween we should all go with people just with normal diseases that'll take us all. I have cancer. That's great. Perfect costume. That's all what's your costume? I have cancer. All right. You just sound like a libertarian. You know what I mean? I think you're just rude. Yeah. It's all spawning. Hardened of the liver. Hardening of the liver.

Yeah. That's my costume. I am the night. They call him Sir Oasis. I am the night they call him Sir Oasis. Oh, Baglady. Well, that's the name of this next story. Baglady by Brian Shaden sack. The PTA meeting started. Okay. The PTA meeting started. Fred Williams, the head of the PTA stood up.

Thank you for attending the monthly, oh, the baglady interrupted. No one liked the baglady. It seems to be a different language. attending the monthly, oh, the bag lady interrupted. No one liked the bag lady. Uh, seems to be a different language. This is that's like, yeah, so it seems as a thing. And don't, don't help them. Don't help them. Lupi is sorry at parade. Illinus and non-denominational. I still try to show up.

I've troops. Let's go. I'm just doctors. No, no, no, give it. No, give it a real shot. Look at the letters. Like, look at the letters. So Latins easier than you think it is, right? No, it's it's it's one of the most difficult language. It's one of the world. That's why language is to understand.

It's to understand, but to read it's just noises. So if you look at the letters, so yeah, a purest alien is non-damo a assurrent days, pesquerias, amnias, a amnias. That's very good. I feel like it's the Vatican said it. I did it. Piggly wiggly. But yeah. So I did that.

Yeah. Fred Williams, the head of the PTA, blood from the mouth, the nose, the ears of the eyes. What the fuck? People wanted to interrupt the bag lady. No one did. She's seeing Latin like she's scary. In fact, like she's like possessed by a devil.

In fact, Cynthia Rock, the gym teacher, she rubbed her chest. There was still a staple in her heart from when she interrupted the bag lady. From when she interrupted the bag lady. Yes, but for the last time, last PTA meeting in the bag lady apparently stayed. Stable in the chest. Stable in the chest. Stable in the bag lady apparently stays. Stay pulled in the chat.

And it was in her heart and they didn't remove it. It's the I think they understand. I don't know why in these short stories they give a full name and a role. Cynthia Ross. Cynthia Ross. Cynthia, I mean, nothing. It means a lot. They're in a PTA meeting.

Okay. So yes, Nas, Kyuki, Novice, Rerum, Trektair, Fiskus, Rieskist, Adios, Jimnasium, Tecdo. He sound like a real Rie rom, reading one. Jim did, continued the Bay lady and no one like the Bay lady. No one like the Bay lady. No one like the Bay lady. I wish I knew with those curses, man. I mean, here I'll look it up.

Yes. No, because obviously it means Jim, we have Jimnasium. You look up mean, here, I'll look it up. Yes. You know, because obviously it means Jim. We have gymnasium. You look up the first one, I'll look up the second one. I think she actually caused a rupture in her rectum. That's, I think that's what that means. There's a burning in my room. That's what happened with that manatee.

No, I know the one who got fucked to death by the brother. Bag lady, oh, this is just says it. Oh, from this thing. Oh, this is, this is fun. Okay, so the second one, okay, so here's what the bag lady said. The first one is what? The first one, the bag lady said, wolf starve and do not harm stranger's children and feed the hungry all in sundry.

The second one said, we are also dealing with new things in the fun for the revival of the gymnasium room. So that's actually really fun. So the big lady was just doing nothing but good stuff here. Yeah, she's just evil. Yeah, she's evil. And then she's also adding curses in the meeting and adding curses at the same time. All right, well, what a great story. All right, well, what a great story. The bag lady. This next one, it's apparently from a series of creepypastas called the boxes. Okay.

It's by Sam Miller, and this one is called Horse Hole. Yep. Okay. Good. Mm-hmm. A room, the color red. Naying. Mm-hmm.

I awake. I see a huge thing in front of me. It is freakishly tall with lanky and knobbly legs covered with pinkish skin and sparse hair. Hey, you want to, it won't play me a man. Yes, this is another druglet. Wow, I'll create it. I don't want to play men. It has a torso.

You don't want to play me a man. I'll beat you a man. It has a torso. But it is so far away from me. So as to be nigh unnoticeable. It has a torso. You don't want to play me a man, I'll beat you a man. It has a torso. But it is so far away from me, so as to be nigh unnoticeable. No. It's head, if it even has one, is completely hidden in the reaches of the sky. It bellows.

Hello, Sager. If you are to be here, I would recommend being wary of my children. Ah, I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am horse. Uh, hi, uh, horse. No, it is horse. Okay, okay. Horse.

Where are we? Instead of responding. We're just gonna do this together. I just saw this thing. I figured it would help. I think I've changed a little bit though. Thank you for your help. It's gonna cheat in a little bit.

Yeah. Instead of responding, why is it cheating? Because also you guys, all of your been changing a little bit though. Thank you for helping me. I'm gonna cheat in a little bit. Yeah. Instead of respite, why is it cheating? Because also you guys all of your quotes are in English, by the way. You did good. I wasn't able to have quotes in English. You honestly, you made a lot of those sounds. You did good. Instead of responding, the equine beast simply gallops and leaps over the immense walls

of the chamber I'm in, naying as it goes along. I see a hole in the ground, where one of horse's hooves was sitting, carved from whatever material the floors made of. Rough stairs crawl around its circular shape down into the pitch darkness. Since there really isn't any other way out of here, I climb down the circular staircase. Darkness, darkness,

step, step, more darkness, more steps. Sure. Stairs in the darkness. Yes. Sure. Careful. I see a patch of lit steps and continue crawling towards them. A hole dug into the side of the staircase. I see light at the end of it. I crawl into it so that I can have something to do. Besides keep on crawling downwards and downwards, I crawl up into it and keep on crawling through it. I crawl past dirt and roots and worms and things. Is this allegorical? It's allegorical. A single fat grub falls in front of my face. Hi. And I look.

My name is fat grub. Hey, don't you say that about yourself. I would like to say I'm not fat. I'm just big bones, but I don't have any bones. Yeah, I'm just fat. I'm pretty hot and dimtic. Thank you. I look down.

It has the head of a fat-eyed fetal horse. Oh my God. What are we reading? I don't know. I have no idea what these are. So light at the end of the tunnel. What is this? I don't know.

This is my taste. I know what he likes. It's a grub with a fat horse's head. The light at the end of the tunnel gets even closer. I'm crawling to it still. And it is beginning to take shape. And distinct shadowy with the exception of the two orbs of light. They are blind, white eyes. I crawl forward even further. I can see the things head. I can see it's great. Flaughty. Yeah, it's a horse. I can't. Yeah, it's a horse. I can see it's

Paladin wet skin to wet horse. I can see who's still don't worry is though poking from under its flabby mass I get close to it and it lurches while moaning Uh-oh a drawn out Uh oh. A drawn out nay. Nay. No, but it's one mowning. Nay. I'm trying.

If slowly, drags its mass forward. The dirt of the tunnel walls crumbling against the acquired mass. I add joy from the immense creature. It speeds up, it's crawling, it's drag. It nips at my clothing and at my skin with its huge jumping teeth. It speeds up, it speeds up. I crawl ever frantically. It's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the

skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the

skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the

skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the skin, and it's a piece of the These are just about flabby flesh. He just, he is. It only continues to crawl at me in ever increasing speed, ravenously gnashing and nipping and chewing. The pale beast and I get to the edge of the tunnel, but it keeps on crawling and crawling and pushing and pushing the both of us fall from the tunnel, hit the dingy stairs and fall down the hole. I can see the immensity of the beast now. It's white, fleshy body, warming it's way out of the tunnel.

Indefinitely. Is there any editors for these? I feel like we are missing parts of the story. Okay. We fall. We fall. Yeah. We fall. I, you know, you just gotta say it once I assume you're continuing to fall until you saw me, you stopped. We fall. Continue to fall. I just need this. I wrote this thing with fault. Jesus. Something soft and solid.

I farted. I farted when he said you was scary. I actually was kind of free now. It was gonna poop. Yeah, well, it was scary. I get up and I see, I might need to. The pale things, whole, where my body is still

I thought it would be crawling. Yeah, that's actually that is true. The ground is hairy The ground is meaty. I Can see a shape turning about in the distance. Did you read my story dad? That's my story out for you to read did you read it? It's really good, really creative. I walked to it. Come on now. He didn't want to get it. So actually, I was reading it.

I actually think you need to describe the following one more time. It is an immense head of some equine thing, a massive mutant tumor covering the area where it's I should. It just happened to be a tumor. It's a tumor, it's a tumor episode. You know, there's a lot of it. It was a 19 lot of tumor. It's not a tumor, but in this case, it is a lot of a lot of weird, a query. The head swivels. It swivels to face me it I Edge away from the head I Wander in no Edge away from the head. I wonder in the horse skate horse

Skate I do like I like I kind of like this is horse skate, but just net skate. I love you wish it I love the story so much. I find more heads some somewhat similar tumors. Hi others with immense bulging eyes There's so much more to the story come to the horsecape hope you brought your hoof cleaners. So much just begun I do I always carry hoof cleaner with me though Yes, you never know when you're gonna get lucky. There are even some horses which have fangs rather than the usual flat teeth the whole horse. It's really difficult with the oats. Oh, very. I meet a mass of hooves. Head nowhere to be found. Legs knotted together to form some strange thing. It approaches me and begins to beat in my body. It beats my head in with its flat and hard horse feet.

I am powerless to do anything. I haven't had any food for days upon days. This is why it's so important to vote. That's like a loolies. They're only as good as the people we put in. So if you're in the horsecape, this is the people. This is the kind of shit that you are responsible for. You need to be voting in the horsecape.

Elections have financial winches. The acclaimed mass is too strong and violent for me to eat any meat from the ground. Because remember the ground is, yeah, yeah. Remember the ground is hairy and made of meat. Well, you can't trust it. You can't trust it. But if you're starving, you're gonna try it. Oh, sure.

My body is broken and bruised and cut and hurt by the mass of hooves and feet. I can do nothing. I am killed and I will rot forever and ever in the void of horses I am in. So dad, do you think it may be this will get me a publisher? I actually think it might work. Yeah, I'm well connected. Well, it looks like I didn't follow my advice stranger. Oh, okay. I could have a use for you now

Billy The massive hooves hobbles forward on its many legs That's like you like a son how you have used your own name in here that Billy That's what we named you Billy Billy's the massive hooves. Oh Billy. It's the Billy the hoover Yeah, Billy is the Matt Billy the hoove. You're free. And that's also my mother's name. Yes, and your father's.

Yeah, my father's name is Bill. Take the stranger to my room. I must walk on them. Yes, Billy the huff thing. Crap. Come on now. Here we go. Billy the, Billy the Huff thing grabs my pallet and weak body with some of its mini legs and drags me away into the darkness.

I open my eyes and look down. My hands are not hands. Are they hooves? Wow. Oh, good morning, child horse, bellows. Would you like to see your new face? A mirror in the shape of a horse. Is he going to have a horse face?

David, no, David, a mirror in the shape of a horse is placed in front of me. And I see what I look like. Three immense eyes with long lashes gaze at me, placed on a mouthless mutant mass with eight nobly and lanky, awkward legs holding it up. A long tail of meaty quality drags behind me. Meaty quality. I am.

I Horses. So dad was weird to say when I gave my sword to my guidance counselor. When he did, he brought some application in for the grocery store. Yeah, it was really bizarre. He said something about how I am a horse. I am a horse. I am a horse. I just did. I'm just all so. But now he can eat.

No, he can eat while he doesn't. I don't think he can eat the ground stuff. I don't think he needs to eat because I don't know if the horse is eat. Wait, I guess they know what to have to. I think he can eat the ground stuff. Well, it's horse scape. I feel like this is a place where maybe we don't know all the physics. I don't think we know the rules of the horse skate.

I mean, I went to that rowdy owl and I'll tell you one thing. These horses are beautiful. Mm-hmm. Can you, we always are. I love horses. I mean, stunning creatures. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse.

A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse.

A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. A wonderful horse. No, not our highly beautiful creatures. I'm exactly on the same page as you, but the horses are absolutely beautiful, beautiful creatures. And you know what, we still, when you're going 66 miles per hour, that's horse power still. Yeah, we still gauge it on horse power. Guys, you're coming at me real hard about how beautiful horses are. And I'm, I get, you know what?

I think they're nice. When I think you're gonna have to stand, you're gonna have to sit on my shoulders at the next rodeo and then you'll say, Bender's up to the bend. Bender, gait the nose. That's right. And that's the horse. When I think you're gonna have to stand you're gonna have to sit on my shoulders at the next rodeo and then you'll say When I go back home to Texas one of the first things I do is I go out and I say hi to the horses because that I haven't been able to say hi to a horse in a long time and they're so beautiful It's all nice. So I hope you do you better read this story to the horse some of the horses some of the horses All the horses are gonna love it. You go up to the main one and do the whole like

I'd be wary of my children I Am Remember me they do remember me. I know they do No asshole safe I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that.

I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. Shachana rock shasharani. It's called the daddy face. That's called the daddy face. A lot of stuff frowning because dads are always disappointed. Kind of subconscious stuff here. I like it. So I like this always like when he chooses then that we can peer in. Yeah. In the mind subconscious.

Yeah, it's of course. Really. Yeah, it's. Really? It's amorphous, horse-like creatures. You try what your father, also your mother's name is Billy. And don't, don't, they're not the same name. They're not the same because Bill and Billy are very different names. No, my father's name is William. My mother's name is Billy. Yeah, it's Williamina. Yeah, my grandfather's name was also Billy.

I was, his name was Billy Wayne. Billy Wayne. I am, we know Billy when Davis the fabulous Absolutely, first time in a matter. I'm not sure I told him my grandfather's name is Billy Wayne What he said great Yes, well, here we go. It's very similar to when we interviewed somebody who was a victim of a serial killer And Henry just said she reminds him of his aunt. I even said that she did look very similar to my aunt. I don't think that's a bad thing. No one wants to be like, oh, you look like my aunt.

I didn't say my dead aunt by suicide. I didn't say like my aunt who was all jacked up. I hated to look at it because it threw up when I looked at her. Yeah, my nice aunt. I like my aunt. Okay. Look, the Reynolds family weren't bad kids. I was in class with the brother, Randy,

and my friend Marcy was the little sister's class. I never did anything that you'd expect abused children to do. They were pretty much normal if quiet kids, what happened to them might have stayed a secret if we didn't start carpooling the school. Oh, and this whole thing was written by the gas companies. Absolutely.

That's sponsoring more drivers to cars. High occupancy vehicle for anyone wondering. Yeah, that wouldn't really make sense because carpooling is bad for the gas industry. It's insane. It's anti-carpooling. Anti-carpooling. Ah, yeah.

Commentary. What? What? Mr. Reynolds had a station wagon and a greasy mullet. This was the period of time when the 80s were still haunting the 90s. So it wasn't too out of place then. I remember he teased me and mercy a lot when he picked us up. The kind of teasing adults playoff is funny, but it's actually really mean. I remember that like my buddy that I came up with that used to celebrate their own holiday instead of Christmas called Hungarian day because

the dad was like, all fucked up, but he used to celebrate their own holiday instead of Christmas called Hungarian Day because that was like all fucked up. But he used to drink a lot. He was the dad just Hungarian. He was just a, he was a very bad alcohol. Oh, I see. And he used to drive the old fashioned driving with the beer in his knees. Oh, yeah. And he would hold his beer for himself.

It was fun in a way. It was fun in a way, but it's an adult. You're like, oh, that was probably, he probably would be sad. He was sad for everyone. Yeah. He was a sad man, sad for Gary and men. See, I remember he called Marcy Ketchah because of her red hair, which made her face turn red.

So then he called her tomato. I hate this guy. God, I've never seen kids look as uncomfortable as the Reynolds kids were in that car that day. The quiet, funny Randy, I knew when the playground was gone. He is a little sister, Lelyen, who were frozen in place. That's my grandmother's name. Lely.

My rabbits when you open their cage. Were any of the front seat? That left me and Marcy in the back seat with Lily between us. Of course, me and Marcy wanted to talk. We've been friends forever. And since we lived in the same street, we weren't loud or hyper.

We were just talking quietly about things we loved. Then Mr. Reynolds asks, do you want to be quiet or do you want me to show you the daddy face? Oh, I mean, he chose to read it like that. He chose to be, honestly, though. He chose to put it in a lot of shoes. Okay, well, to be quiet, you want me to show you the daddy face.

Either way, you're scared. You're more, I'll do scary, it's not scary. Okay, there we go. And you want me to be quiet. Or you want me to show you the daddy face? That's what I'm saying. It's just a funny thing.

But the thing that's scary, that sinister, it is scary. I mean to guess vaguely sexual, but sinister. Yeah. And I knew much, I never knew much about. Mr. Mrs. Reynolds. I knew she worked a lot. I don't know if she knew what her husband did

when she wasn't home. Oh, terrified her kids were of their father. When Mr. Reynolds asked that, his kids immediately started screaming and crying. Lily threw her hands over her ears. Randy just kept begging him, no, no. Mr. Reynolds was perfectly calm. He was smiling. I got thought of it was funny.

This is the creepiest one yet. He repeated the question. Do you want me to be quiet? Or do you want me to show you the daddy face? I don't want to see the daddy face. Marce and I were very silent. Mr. Reynolds decided that since we didn't answer him, he'd show us anyway.

No, that's what he told us to do is not talk. He took his hands off the steering wheel and put them on the top and bottom jaw. Like it was going to rip his face open. His eyes bulged so they sort of pointed in other directions. Randy kept screaming, begging him not to. Me and Marcy held each other tears streaming down our faces. Literally, it sunk down in our seat and thrown over her head, arm thrown over her head.

Mr. Reynolds made a gagging noise. The station wagon had started drifting over the line. So a horn blast from the semi behind us broke the spell. Mr. Reynolds swore and took his hands off his face and put them back on the steering wheel. Still quit with saliva. He dropped us off. He bit us a cheery goodbye. Yeah. See, can't see my. Yeah. That was a horrible. We're grim as a funeral procession all day. I still in shock when my mom picked me up after school. She asked me what was wrong. I tried to tell her about the daddy face, but I ended up crying right there in the car. Mom was pissed.

I believe that. She saw Mr. Reynolds pulling up in the station wagon and told me to wait in the car. I screamed after her. I was terrified he'd pulled the daddy face on her. I didn't even know what it looked like, but I didn't even want it to happen on my mother. In the distance, I saw her approach, Mr. Reynolds.

I could see her body language as she spoke to him. Mr. Reynolds was dismissive as first. I could seem trying to play it off as a joke. Now my mom said something else. Mr. Reynolds shot me a firt of glance. My mom saw, she started back towards the car shouting at Mr. Reynolds. Mr. Reynolds had taken on a defensive stance,

making the same face he'd made, we called Marcy ketchup. When we pulled out, I could see that the kids had joined him at the car. The tips of Mr. Reynolds' fingers disappeared as he dug them into his son's shoulder. My mom wouldn't tell me that a conclusion that she'd come to. She just told me that's a worry about it. We stopped off from McDonald's. Oh, nice.

That's always cleans up the daddy face. Absolutely. She'll let me get a toy and even a cola, which I normally wasn't allowed. The next day she went to a meeting with the principal, just her, because Marce did head and told her parents and the Reynolds parents. I didn't know the exact outcome, but the Reynolds kids weren't in school the next day or ever again. Well, we grew up. Yada yada yada. Yeah, that's what it did. Me and Marcy stayed in touch. We weren't super besties. We're still friends, you know, so I guess it was kind of a shock when I find out that

she's had begun dating Randy Reynolds. The daddy face guy. No, the son. The son. Oh my God. She got into him again. I need grown up rather nicely. You splite funny, respectful, everything is dad.

What's it? Marcy had been afraid to tell me because there was still something kind of closed off about Randy that frighten her a little bit She got she had to know him right so It was a whole thing she dated for three months. She got to know him pretty well the parents had divorced dad Just fucked off the parts of known the little sister was now studying to be a beautician And she dated him for three months before she told me and in all that time she never asked about the incident in the car But finally one night you looked at her and he sighed, you want to know about it, don't you? Oh, no. The daddy face. Marcy didn't answer. Randy said it was something only his

dad could do. The only did it to people who couldn't tell about it is kids. An old homeless guy who probably pissed himself and had a stroke on the spot, a poor waitress who had given him milk instead of half and half. The worst part, Randy, said, was the very worst part, as he said it was... It was genetic. Because he hadn't dated too much. He was afraid to get close to anyone because he was afraid of himself. And if Marcy wanted to see it, really wanted to see it, he would show up.

I know she said yes, even if she never outright admitted it, because Rani was in like his dad. He wouldn't spring that on somebody without asking. Marcy doesn't remember the face. She blocked out. And when she came to, Rani was gone. He stopped answering his phone, stopped going to their hangouts, and basically just disappeared from her life. Marcy still can't see too well out of her left side.

Sometimes she gets these bright flashes when it's dark outside. And as bad as I feel for her, I think I feel worse for the Reynolds kids because she had only seen it once. Wow, the daddy face. Daddy face. But what is the face? Daddy face. Daddy face. But what is the face? I'm going to do the daddy face right now the audience can't see okay I'm gonna do the daddy face right now. Let's see

Sleeping well watching old I'm got sports I'm gonna say golf that's a side of that's a Saturday afternoon golf. I was asleep. It was last month There you go. Well, that's actually great daddy face. That's a good daddy face. That is scary Yeah, that's a scary one. Yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Yes. We all know that face. It's the same bit as the Dan Acroid from the top of the Twilight Zone movie. You been like, you want to see something really scary? Yeah. Yes and then. All right. Well, this one is called the goat. Well, it's about a Tom Brady? Tom Brady. I call Jordan. This is submitted by James B. David. Is it the only one with officially the nickname the goat? No, he's whatever. It's whoever you want to make it.

Yeah, you can, people call every Jack Nichols with the golf. He's the golf. He's the goal. The man is the goat. You know, they say who's the LeBron? They call him the goat. The goat. Well, he's kind of like king. He's king James. Oh, another guy who was in the helicopter crash. He's the goat, right? Kobe greatest of all time. No, he's mom technically, uh, technically, it is Michael Jordan. But anyway, let's do this here. The go. That's me. That's my, that's I'm getting masculine. I'm supposed to see we might see baseball the night. Maybe it's also it's Hello Kitty Kitty. I don't really want to see that. Yes.

All right. So, minute about James B Davis. Jim Davis. Is this Jim David? I think this is the Jim Davis. Yes, this definitely. From Garfield, the guy, the creator of Garfield, he always goes on to weird obscure creepypasta forums and post stories.

I would be surprised. You know, my brother wrote him and Jim Davis wrote back. That's adorable. It took like two years. My brother was already out of Garfield of the sign, but he still framed it. And that was very nice. That was back when he had to write letters. Yeah. Okay. I wrote a letter to Michael Jordan once and I got back to you. Well, a representative got back to you with a printed off eight by 10 glossy that had a, it had an autograph on printed on the paper. That's awesome. It was actually I actually cherished it

somewhere within the Michael Jordan administration. So your name one time. Yep. Yep. Honestly. All right, here we go. The goat. I have a hard time telling this story.

It's a very hard part of my life that I'm not completely over. Well, you know, buddy, you just go to therapy or what? I'm new asal. It's a very hard part of my life that I'm not completely over. Well, you know, buddy, you just go to therapy or whatever the way is him. It's a very hard part of my life that I'm not completely over. I don't think a person could ever get over it. I'm sure that you will understand why soon enough, though, you'll probably just think I'm insane. Whoa. You're fucking nuts. Wow. I live in a farm in Mexico. We have a lot of livestock. Can we have to deal with a lot of wolves and coyotes? And I'm used to dealing with them. So I really had

no real expectations of anything to extreme on that night. It was a normal. It was common for us to hear the goat scream because as I said, there were a lot of wolves as I was told to go out and check on the barn armed with a shotgun. I walked out to the barn. He sounds like a man who does color commentary for a baseball games. Who's that? I know he just. I can hear a loud slurping sound in the sound of a goat. I look to see, I look to see a terrible site on top of the goat with some kind of reptilian creature with a large spine on its back. Super top right. Yeah. Its head was like a dog, but it with massive things

that dug down the goats. Nick, its scales were by luminescent, bioluminescent, bioluminescent, green and blue. It's ears were long and pointed and it had somewhat of a humanoid stance. And its eyes were vibrantly glowing purple. So they say an exaggerate to Chippacupra, but I do like the imagery. It's a Chippacupra with a twist. You just wait. You just wait. There's a twist coming.

I cocked the shotgun and the creature looked up at me and his teeth. It's teeth were covered in blood that dribbled down its chin. The terrible things, hard smell. I looked down at my goat and saw the eyes, well, up with tears as he looked into my eyes. The goats had then lifted up and smiled. It's okay, John. I like it. What? So the goats find with it. Why could you go talk? It's okay, John. I don't seem like healthy then. No, you like the talk.

He's like the ghost. He's like the ghost. He's always talking. The ghost I'm dead. The ghost. No. I like that. So the chupacabra and the goat are kind of symbiotic.

It's okay, John. I like it. I like it. Yeah. He likes to get the twist is that the goat also talks. He didn't even know that because that's a double mind fuck. That's what I'm going to put in. Oh my god.

The chupacabra is real. And So also my, not only does my goat talk, but my goat knows my name and it likes having blood drawn from it because some people do have the vamp here fetish. We know that, but honestly, I think that's the most I got to do with Levin and Orland's aware on a corset. Yeah, it could be, it could be a lot of blood up there. All right. Well, this one, this is another one by Thomas F. Johnson.

We're bringing him back. Wow. I don't mind to him. I don't mind. I imagine if I met him as a man. No, no, I'd enjoy him. Yeah. What's that? This one's called Memeces. Memeces. Okay. So a better background. Okay. I live in this dog shit neighborhood, wrong side of town in a small city. Most of the low wage jobs dried up after the factory left for God knows where. So all we got left are call centers and serving in gentrification. We live in here in Allen town. I live in a shitty apartment with my mom.

The streets are broken down. I go to community college. I don't got a car. Most people don't. So I mostly walk and take the bus. Okay, nothing wrong with that. Living a good life. We should happen sometimes. It always does. As is usual for what happens when you're in a poverty town. Yep. But this is some weird, beyond weird shit, like horror movie weird shit. And since I've been hearing some other shit from other people online, I thought I might as well share my story. The first of them anyway.

Frank, is that you, Frank? Kill me. Kill me. So I'm coming home from getting milk at the food city when suddenly a plastic bag starts blowing in the wind. Okay, let's not get a mirror. Computing on this. Fluttering up and about like they do usually at first.

I'm all like big deal. I see lots of plastic bags in this body down big deal. Yeah, trashbirds. Then it starts following. I think that's sort of unusual. So I start walking a bit faster. Nothing unusual. Just me being the kind of superstitious you get when that reptile party of rain starts ticking.

But then you see, it speeds up too. Oh, wow, interesting. It looks like it's fluttering hot. Even no-to-win doesn't seem to be getting any higher. And it hits me on the leg. This would be okay. And then you know, I'm a day, a minor spook, a little laugh, and then back home with the milk.

Yeah, you're gonna like that. You're gonna like get serious. The best of millions of milk. There's pure milk. Remember bagged milk? Yeah. Millions can. But then I feel like my legs on fucking fire. And I looked out.

I see this bed, clinging straight onto my leg. Let's not some kind of liquid. But it doesn't look like a bag, quite a close. So I take out my knife to switchblade. I keep because I, again, bad neighborhood. You're gonna want your switchblade, yeah. And I cut it off. It doesn't scream.

It doesn't scream. It barely slows down when I cut it off it doesn't scream it doesn't score you oh it barely slows down when I cut it releasing some sort of sticky, clear-ish stuff I cut through it, it potted away, it hangs on even tighter I finally pry it off it crumbles in on itself in a soggy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it. It twitches. It smells like vinegar and piss. It's a salt and vinegar bag. I've read you little as I poke it with the knife. I twitches a bit more. It looks like a jellyfish. More like a jellyfish than the bag up close though I've only really seen him in pictures. I've never seen a jelly fish. We can't even think about going on vacation. I've only seen a picture of a beach chair.

I don't even saddle on all hot chairs. All chairs made out of old wood. Makes sense. The logo looks blurry. Like the markings on an animal. I looked out at my leg. It's bleeding. I think I'm going to be late coming on with this milk. Then I hear me. This soft wet rustling in the distance. I look behind me. It's a whole bunch of plastic bags coming my way in a very familiar manner.

my way in a very familiar manner. I run, of course. But they just keep catching up, run through the alleys to lose them. They keep following me climb up a telephone pole. They follow me up. Jump off fence and hide in a pool. They swim across the water even faster. Why he's doing a lot. Yeah, it's very athletic. Jumping the older band and chatting bar up the door. They crawling the gaps in the fucking windows I'm just go home, I think. After that, I pretty much stuck. Well, past my neck of the woods, Still running barely breathing.

Just me, the road, the road kill, The desert and the bags. And milk, I saw him come and told me. Hey, hey, hey, hey, God, I could smell the road kill across from me. I could smell him come and towards me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, I could smell the road kill across from me. I could smell them coming towards me. The sense mingled like an acidic, necrotic wound. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then a jar dotted out from one of the things a road kill towards a bag from the side. Like one of those alien mouth thingies, but longer and like a set of gums with gingivitis. Oh my. I looked at where the mouth came from. It was a pile of roadkill. Look like a cougar. A cougar, a maybe a horse. Maybe a horse. Maybe a horse. No, I'm so sick of horses. Maybe. No more. Maybe if you have a lean this, maybe, maybe just a big slag of me that look like something sort of like a big rotten mammal caucus. It reared up on its huge slimy legs, like crab legs.

All right. The jaws were chewing on the bag caucus. You know, the bag. Yeah. So I remember the bag. Yes, yes, yep, yep. It's scuttled. Both of the bags were going to be more like villainous, but it's just food.

It's in scuttled towards the other bags. Big rotten holes opened up in its sides. The more jaws came out, the snatchin' Adam and chewing. They only got a few before the rest flooded away. Bob and in Fripplin' like the sad little sheets of plastic they look like, it gave me hope for a moment. But then it finished wolfin' the things down. Mage made short work of them. In fact, and it turned towards me and started scutling. I backed away, and then I noticed something. I've been so occupied with the chase before. That I hadn't noticed, that it looked like there

were do-sons in the sky, and that one of them was getting closer and closer. Glowing needles will come off it as it opened wide right behind the road killed jaw. Lord of jungle says there's always a big of fish. Well now that is just absolutely fascinating. So I love this jungle. Now he wasn't in the jungle. He was actually in a small town. No more on how the milk is doing. I don't know what happened.

I am what happened. I actually think that this man should never write again. I feel like I'm a lot of time. I love Thomas. I feel like Tom Johnson has a wonderful. I love his stream of consciousness writing. I think he's a great writer. I do too.

I honestly, I like this tone. Law. The jungle says there's always a bigger. It kind of reminds me of a almost in a, I mean, it's a big jump, but he does run me a little bit of what's Paul Delaney, what's his name? The guy that wrote, wrote, um, Babel 17, right? It's got a bit of a crowningburg thing going on. It's got a little bit of a, what's the spot? It's a Paul, yeah, Paul Delaney was a Paul Delaney. Who's the author? Who's the guy that? Yeah, Samuel Ardalini. Samuel Ardalini. Thank you, guest Rob. Yes. Samuel Ardalini. Oh, right. A couple of these. Are you ready? Go

me to the. I'd say law the jungle. It's not really the law of the, the, the, oh, there's always a bigger fish is a law of the ocean. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yes, yes. It's law of the jungle, but it's still, it actually isn't to your point. Yeah, do my point Well, the ocean is that there's always a bigger fish, but love the jungle is there's always a bigger threat Well, there's just a lot of predatory nature of the jungle. I'm sure it's pretty much pretty pretty top Well, they're surprised. They're more of a yeah, they're they're serengeti. They're not jungle animals Tiger always a bigger tiger perhaps. Yes, perhaps. I think it's killer be killed. That's also the law of the jungle. That's the law

of the jungle. Although I do. The ocean is, hey, hey, don't be in me. You know what I did? Not in me. You know what I did see? There was a cute video of a rhinoceros helping a hippo pick its teeth with with the rhinoceros as horn Wow That's fun sometimes they fight Sometimes they play hey man as long as you watch in peace instead of war yep, it's very funny Anything goes is the law of the jungle life. I that's what Rob says But actually that kind of creeps me out. It feels like everybody's common fucking.

Not anything goes in the jungle. Well, actually, you can't kiss a tiger. That's a great segue. Because if the law of the jungle is, there anything goes. Anything goes. I don't think that's true. That maybe because the law of like North Dakota.

Oh, anything my good friend. Ah, not bad man. Yes indeed. But we do have a tradition here. I want to say thank you for the last story, Marcus. Yes. This is your this. What do you put together here? It's absolutely fantastic. Absolutely. I learned how to speak Latin. You did. I mean, we learned about horses. We learned about the daddy face. We've learned. Yes, we did. Be careful on the pierce. We did. And I actually, I would go through all of these weird ass things I learned on 4chan, but I'm going to just go straight up say they are really fucking boring. Yeah. There are a couple ones that was interesting. I don't know if you've heard about lost boy Larry. Nope. Nope. Which is

like a real true story of a little kid that showed up on a CB like radio in the 1970s where it's a real story. It's a real story where you, well, they determined it. They said officially that it's a hoax, but there was a kid's voice over the CB radio that was begging for help. And there was a two month long search for this little boy. Wow. And then that came out though, that is a funny hoax. It was.

Yeah. You have no, like when you're a kid, you're just like, this is going to be a lyrister. I don't think I'm dead. And as an adult, they're like, that wasn't very funny. There's also an entire website called ArnoldHeight.com that is talking about, there is a massive discrepancy about the actual physical height of Arnold's Schwarzenegger. And there's a fight. How is there a massive discrepancy? Because there's been, he has said that he's six foot three. He was lunch measured out of front. He was lunch measured

at a thing where he was six and a half inches, but then six foot and a half inches. Yeah. I mean, then another guy said, well, technically he was at the end of the day when they measured him, but technically, he believed he were actually shorter at the end of the day, and you're at the top of the day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, site, but you should look at he's in his 70s. I bet you he's five 11. Yeah. Now because he shrunk down, he was never six three. That is a lie. That was like six one. That was his six one. But I will say that's one thing. So that's what I also got real deep in the Phantom Kangaroos. I understand. Well, maybe next time. The next one is Ron Halloween, I believe. Yeah. I didn't know. Oh, we're definitely, I wanna do listener pasta. We're gonna do all that. But that's why I, again, we have a tradition here

and it's an spirit of anything goes. Mm-hmm. I have to read through at least a chunk of this sadly by contract, because I feel the one thing about this is that it's not really like, like how do I put it like, when it comes to cryptid erotica. Yeah. We're getting to sort of like, how do I say it?

Almost a lazy place. We've been talking about this for the past five years. Very much so now. No, we've kind of a lazy place. If we can compare cryptid erotica to grunge right now, we're in the seventh, we're in matchbox 20. We're in a bit of a matchbox 20, because I have no problem with these incredible artists

putting these stories, know how hard it is to write. Yeah, but I'm just saying, let's dig a little deeper, because I started reading, I had somebody what we were doing, the Mothman series. Someone sent me this book that they said, oh, Henry, you love this, right? You've got all this book.

It's called Bisexual Mothman Mailman, makes a special delivery in our butts. Oh. And I was looking at it, and honestly, number one, it's, it's lazy, because when it starts, the beginning of it, is it not appropriate to the boss man lore? I read this whole thing.

I read this whole thing and it starts with these two guys, these are a couple, right? And they're talking, you know, like, oh, you know, new neighborhood blah, blah, blah, they love their mailman. One day the mailman doesn't show up. They're normal mailman is replaced by what can only be described as a moth man.

So right here. So standing before me is a male man that I didn't recognize. We've had Noah delivering packages for the last six years that we've lived in this home, but it appears something has happened because the guy standing before me is certainly

not Noah. Instead, I'm faced with a muscular moth man. The creature covered in grayish white hair and supporting a large pair of wings fold against his back. His eyes are huge and glowing, placed lower than one might expect and giving the rare cryptid a distinct appearance.

As though his head was actually positioned somewhere deep within his muscular chest. Is the male still being delivered on time? It will. This is yes. But that's fine. No, but I don't again do one sentence of cock. The moth man makes its cock. But when it comes to work, right?

The Moth Man is, he's going to be a male man. I love our male man community and male woman. Sure. Groups. Thank you. Absolutely. Yeah. It's a fantastic job.

Male humans. But he can't, I mean, I feel like when with Moth Man, I guess they're saying that he says about his wings, but he's in uses wings really travel. He more transports. And again, he's a harbinger of doom. And unless a male man is just delivering bills. That's all that male is, I love my package. I hate male.

You get your shoes in the mail. No, you get your shoes. Yes indeed, all the exciting world of male. We could talk about it all. We could talk about it all sorts of things. Forget about the male. I get my discogs orders in the mail. You can get human teeth in the mail.

You can get toe clippings in the mail. All right, back to bisexual mothman mail man, take mix a special delivery or something. All right, just get to the size of the cock. We got to wrap it up. There you go. So he says here, he's dressed quite conservatively in a typical male carrier is uniform,

but the cut of his pants hung just right above the mothman's perfectly toned rum. Rum, good. We got this thing. It's titled, so he, this guy, we started about his book, the guy in this story isn't author and he wrote a book called Bisexual Buccarous, seven by group encounters in the Tingle verse. Right.

Yeah. This is Chuck Tingle. I think he might be doing Chuck Tingle also wrote a book called, pounded in the butt by my handsome sentient library card, who seems all the world leave an irregularity as a natural part of the crisis resources of our library system provides. Which is very funny. That's a very funny guy. Yeah, that's a funny part.

No, Chuck Taylor got a thing, but jingle, yeah, I would say is that if you're writing an erotic cryptid story, don't write or yeah, what's that? If you're writing, if you're writing one, don't write an erotic story that has mothman in it. Yes. Don't write an erotic story that has mothman in it. Write a mothman story that happens to, no. Don't write a rotted story that has mothman in it. Write a mothman story that happens to be a rotted. This is the thing.

Cause right here, he's at the top. She's like, Oh, what's your name? And he says, that's a right. My name's Indrid. So he does the that's one piece of lore. I mean, that's lore. Yeah. I can store it.

What's the coxize on the mothman? All right. Let's just get here. It's just a jump right in here. There you go. What's the name? Yeah, which is how big is its cop? Too bad. Oh, right. Let's just get here. It's just a jump right in here. There we go. All right. What's the name? How big is it's cop?

Too bad. I sure my favorite post is here. Here we go. All right. Handsome cryptid reaches down and begins to unbutton my jeans. Eventually talking them down and allowing my swollen cock to spring forth

and all it's glory. Injured gasps. And he's like, what's the moth man's cock? The thing about the moth man cock again is like, why is he gasping? He's been fucking and sucking for so long. I feel like he could just be, you know, your moth man mailman, you've been having sex with the neighbor absolutely. All right. Now next thing I know the hands of moth man is open his mouth wide and take my rock hard

dick between his lips slowly pumping his face up and down across the length of my shaft. I lean my head back and I let it all on my back and nothing about this is moth man. This is not about the moth man in this right. Why isn't he philatio in the moth man? Why two lovers begin to pass my shaft back and forth with this wife. Sometimes dragon their tongues along my length and the time sucking me off with friends. All right. Yes. Before IV opens their mouth wide and takes my cock between her lips, push her face further

down on my shaft deeper, deeper. She glides. There we go. All right. So can you go? I'm here with his his dick. It's perfect. No, are you okay? I take my hand on the back of my wife's head. Oh no, not that part. There we go. All right, so can you go, I'm gonna work his his dick. It's pretty perfect. No, are you okay? I take my hand on the back of my wife's head. Oh no, not that part.

There we go. He grabs the guy's dick. He places my new cock ring over the end of it. He slides the rubber circle all the way down to the base. He wants the mouth man's dick. No, let's take it for a test driver. I might ask the cryptid sense.

Oh my goodness, it's gracious. Oh, this is a bad way. All right, he will chisel the form. Indra does completely naked. All right, now where's the dick? All right, I'm gonna look, I'm looking for these dick. Please God, that's precious. Oh, that's apricot way. All right, oh, chillzled form. Indra is completely naked. All right, now where's the dick? All right, I'm gonna look, I'm looking for these guys. Just, that's all we need. Now, he reaches back and he gives his rear

a playful slap, gripping his butt tightly with one hand and spreading himself open. What are you waiting for? Intred, Kuz, come fuck this tight, Mothman. Ask, you heard him. My wife chisensely, ask like, all right. So, Mothman braces himself against me. It's my cock and plunge, deeper into this.

Just shut it out, asshole. I can do it, asshole. You just, yeah, this is an asshole. And that's the the mouth man braces himself against me. It's my cock and plunge deeper into this. Just a little asshole. I guess it was asshole. Yeah, there's just an asshole. And that's what he's fucking me. He's fucking me. The man who's, you take there be something special about the mouth man's asshole. I opened up his wide starfish and I saw, I want something unique. Yeah, I've all got but hold it.

Yeah. All right. Two more sentences. We got to get the wife put in a strap. Hancer. It's fucking him. He's fucking a mouth Well, I know the more It's dick fucking against each other

Our body slamming perfectly before probably rhythmic dance we get a little bit moan and of course the XC I'm so close everybody comes How does the moth man come instead of my dick fucking injured the muscular cryptid is now preparing self to plow away at me My wife in the other hand has slipped around laying on her back to legs This is just a story of this is just an erotic story as you just, you could put the name Steve and play some off man and be Steve the male man who the Steve the bisexual male man. Well, this is the closest we have. Suddenly the mothman enters me from behind and causes my breath to catch my throat. I thought my

wife strap on was big, but this is another level entirely. So it's not just a fork is a force to be reckoned with. And I'm lucky. I've been significantly warmed up. But I want to categorize the Asian. I wanted I wanted the veins. I wanted the head. I'll be because the head. How are we?

Again, how much spurts coming out? It's like Passover. How is this night different than any other night? It's like, how do we? What are we bring? This is what are we doing? Yeah, you can do. We bring control F and replace with anything.

I agree with you Marcus. And this is not slandering Chuck Tingle. Now, to me, this is more about like, just take it, we've read a lot of this stuff. What about the Loch Ness Monster? Hi, we've said what's monster. Yeah, we talked about with them. With Bigfoot, the U-turn dick was special

because there was neutrinos. It explained quantum mechanics in a way that was easily understandable for people that are horny. True true. All right. So this is something. So again, let's, let's, let's, let's dig deeper. I say let's dig deeper.

But yeah, when it, because we're going to definitely going to be taking some cryptid erotica submissions in the future. So please, please start working on it now. I'll pay you my damn self to write it good you show up with one, but remember you're writing a cryptid story that happens to be erotic Not an erotic story that features a cryptid. All right Powerful lessons here every creepypasta you learn something don't you? I even if it's just to not listen to creepypasta absolutely. Thank you all so much for listening This is so much fun. We got a really like story

We've been wanting to tell for a long time is coming up next week. It is an American true crime story It is that is I I think you're gonna like I think you would like it and if you um if you like gaping now You're definitely gonna like gaping later. Yep. If you like big cocks this story's for you All right Also good been later. Yep, if you like big cocks, this story's for you. All right, also good. A rips that last podcast network. That camera last podcast and left and check out all the two or dates we have coming up for things about age. 23. We have murder.

Fist of Dynasty typewriter and Los Angeles. We have 10, 22 at the Balbo and San Diego. The entire LPN force will be as one doing shows view and 11, four. There we go. I always forget it. In Los Angeles, the palace last podcast in the little and thank you all so much for all that watched our 12 hour grind house. And by this point, by this point, it has been released on Twitch. Yeah.

So go enjoy that please. Check it out. If you get our best. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. If you want to see the whole thing start with a synth suite that is good. It's very good. Thank you. Thank you. I mean I I took I borrowed but I think it's so good again. It's all right. Good artist borrow great artist steel. I stole two pieces of music very blatantly. Wow. How brave. All right everyone. Hail yourself. Hail Satan. No, Gigi. Congratulations. Hail me, thick. Don't fuck a horse. Don't fuck a horse. Please, please. We've it a lot. I am.

But you know what's interesting is that you say don't f*** a horse, but there was never anything in any of those stories about having sex with the horse. It was alluded to. He was mixed up. He got all this. Oh, he is. You just got to dick on the brain.

We were trying to have to have dick on the brain. I got to go to the doctor later. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. you