Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 545: John Holmes and the Wonderland Murders Part I - Here Comes Johnny Wadd

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

This week the boys are back and it's gonna get - sticky... it's time for Part I of the Wonderland Murders and the cocaine-laced legend of adult film star turned killer, John Holmes.

Hey there dudes and do-dets, time to wax up your boards and go catch the big wave over at the LPN beach like it. Bingo! One night only at the Balboa Theater in San Diego October 20th, come and check out all of the cool cats and the crazy dogs. And LPN, every show, the entire network, each one, poll-sating and grinding in front of you for your entertainment pleasure. We're all gonna catch the big guna.

And I'm talking about that big greasy guy. I'm talking about a wave. G--Ciri! It's Siri! Just so you know, it's gonna be inside of a theater. So when physical wetness you experience is your own personal body heat or the sweat of one of the performers, come and check it out. I'm certain if there's a podcast flavor you need on your tongue, we got the spoon for you.

Beach Blanket-O, baby. Come on, girls! Let's do it! There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. Yes! On the left. Yeah! That's when the cannonball was started.

What was that? What was that? I don't know how to get. So I looked up my favorite little new clothing companies that I like that I get from. And it's Japanese. And so I was like looking at like an interview with the guy who made it, right? The guy who just first designed all of it in like the mid 80s. And you know, and they're like with much bigger mr. Sachi show to he is always

Fill with ideas and he says like my number two fashion icons of all time. It was James Taylor from the album graceland That's Paul Simon, but what's the other one did James Taylor? Fire and it's not that but it's with the one that Are we on how it is to be loved by you. I can't say one um, and, and Woody Allen. And I was just like, wow, I didn't know they could be. I didn't know he was a fashion icon. Ah, well, he's got the glasses. I did love that sleepers sleeper. Sleeper was a great movie. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, it was yeah, and also it did it predicted Monsanto. Mm-hmm And then so did big big top Huey and say he becomes Monsanto and big top Huey

Big top Huey becomes Monsanto in that movie He is genetically engineering Remember that he makes the hot dog tree He makes Huey, I don't mean to solely the good name of Huey never because yeah, but he only said what he was supposed to do when a jerk off theater. He jerked off. He was technically a good client much like John Holmes. No.

Never. What? Sorry, I was only paying attention to the fact that you only bring up Peewee Herman in the context of his masturbation charge. Yes. Do you remember? Do you remember bring up his talent, the joy that he's brought to people? No only brought out of that also Fred Willard but what I was going to say is this I'm the only other man you ever bring up because I love both of them. Do you remember the

greatest joke of all time? Peewee Herman comes on the tonight show after months and months of his scrutiny. He heard any good jokes lately. Yeah, man. And the crowd goes crazy. The big top exploded. He really crushed it. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. He did. I, when I like about this series, we begin. It's that, because there's nothing pee-wee about this.

I'm a little bit serious. But I got into some fun, like a little like jaunt of like, okay, big penis. Big penis. You just got into it. Just kind of dive, okay, big penis. Big penis. You just got into it. It's kind of dive dive right? Right? Is your end feel like? You know that currently the world's biggest penis belongs to Roberto Esquivel Cabrera. Is it Nadi?

I want you to, uh, look what he's just got. Now look at this man. Now, wow. So he, Well, that's a condition. That's a medical condition. So the man, the only way you can look, the way I described the look on his face in these pictures for the sun.com, only the best journalism here.

Got it. Last podcast on the left. It only gets sued like three times a year for doing horrible illegal things. That's it. But he's got this like smirk. Yeah. Of almost a grimaced appreciation for you seeing what it is. Because it's like, do you think he likes it?

I think it was the issue, right? So if you look at it, his penis is 19 inches long. He never takes his shirt off. No, he ever shows his penis. And now when you look at his penis, and it's just, wow, it's just there. Well, you can't actually see his penis because he has it wrapped up in three types of gauze and a sock.

Yes, no, wow. Now the reason why it turns out the reason why it's, and this is why Jonah Falcon, the guy with that actual measure, 13 and a half penises, he used to have the world's biggest penis. He is currently challenging this man to saying that your penis does not count because it turns out, and you must go to your social media to look at this picture at some point, or on your own computer. I don't know how we're going to show this.

You're going to have to go look this man up so you can look at this. And apparently there is only six to seven inches of penis inside of that that is all his line stretched four skin. Oh my gosh. That doesn't count. He has mashed together. You know how Netflix puts together their numbers. Of course. And stuff up. Yeah. The same thing, but with his own dick size. Oh my goodness. I just got a win sock between his life. And he just did it seven years ago. Let's just hop into last podcast on the left. We've been hanging out with Henry and Marcus.

Wow, we're going to learn about the male member today. Oh my goodness. And one of the worst members of the male party today is, well, John Holmes and the Wonderland murders. Don't worry. This is just part one. Yeah, you know, it seems like it would take two. Yeah, it seems like John Holmes. So the Wonderland murders known at the time as the floor on the floor massacre was a drug related binge full mass killing that occurred in the Laurel Canyon area of Los Angeles in the early 80s. The four victims had all been brutally beaten to death

with a lead pipe. Their faces crushed beyond all recognition. And if you believe the detectives that wrote Malice and Wonderland about this, first of all, you make sure you know it at the very top. Just to clear things up, Malice and Wonderland is a play upon the title. Malice and Wonder title. What?

So you know that he's just like, he's just not about Alice. There's no Cheshire cat involved in any of these proceedings, just the hard work of the LAPD. There was probably a late bunny rabbit at some point. But at some point he did, they basically just say like, this was truly one of the worst crime scenes that they had ever seen in their whole homicide and vesiguing lives. I believe them. This is when detectives were really, you know, drinking hard and having a horrible time

because it was difficult to solve these crimes. I mean, this is late 70s, early 80s Los Angeles. This is the time of bad crime scenes. You just smell the cigar smoke and the whiskey. The perpetrators, however, were never convicted, but that doesn't mean that we don't know who did it. The perpetrator, or at least the man who gave the order, was almost certainly a violent, unpredictable, lunatic, coke dealer and nightclub owner known as Eddie Nash.

I'm just a pavella of entertainment. Hey, Penguin. Got any smack? I'm actually a Batman, but I'm also like really rich. Oh my God, Batman's got an opioid problem. Now, there have been multiple drug related mass murders and Los Angeles over the decade. Wow, no, but the Wonderland murders have endured because of the man who set these events in motion. This man was also almost certainly on the scene when the murders occurred and may have even participated.

That's the jury is still out on that. That man was the so-called King of Triple X. John Holmes, aka Johnny Wad. What else? What, oh, well, family feud. Steve Harvey, King of Triple X. We're here. Yeah. Just imagining Steve Harvey's. Oh, face. Imagine John. You know, it looks like again, you can't see it at home, but it looks like.

Oh, oh, do they just say that? Holmes is quite possibly the most well known porn star. Well, the most well known male porn star in history. Although if we want to talk about the true talents of the vintage age, give me a Peter North or a Randy Spears any day over Old Johnny Wad, because at least Peter North put some effort into his fucking appearance. Peter North was a showman. Yeah.

Randy Spears pure passion. Randy Spears, it's also like a comedy. Don't worry. I forget Randy Spears was the. Randy Spears. It feels like comedy. Don't worry. Don't ever go. He was the funny one. What did he say? You would go like, Oh, tits. Was that tits? Well, no, Peter North, he put some effort into it. You know, all right. I really do because I finally, we can really get into this because we've never been able to, we've talked about the ladies, many, many times. Many times, we've talked about the different, the performers we've liked to watch,

but it's really, because the interesting about the guys, because to me, I think the guy, it's gotta kinda be like, like how do you put it like a nice cologne where you kind of, you appreciate that he, it's there. He's doing a purpose, but it's not the whole story. I'm not sure. I'm not here for you. It's not the whole story, but I like the man to be attractive

and in shape. That's just me. I don't like a big fat slaw. Me neither. I want you to be better than me. I want you to look different than me. I just like to fantasize that that penis is my penis and everything is making total sense.

But guess what, man? It's not my penis. I know. I have seen my penis in a minute. There is making total sense. But guess what, man? It's not my penis. I know. I have no way. I have no way. I have no way. I have no way. I like to watch it.

I like to enjoy it. I like to be in the room, man. Actually, most of the time I sit and watch me like, that's a lot of hard work. Seriously, I've known some, we actually have known some adult male porn stars and it is not an easy gig. No, be careful what you wish for.

But the reason why John Holmes is far more famous than Peter North or Randy Spears is because John Holmes has an absolutely massive penis. But it's not weirdly misshapen massive, like say serial killer artist tools penis is rumored to be. I like you in the rough draft. I think you just put, is that like the reason why John Holmes is far more famous

than Northears fears is because his penis was big and attractive. Yeah, it isn't. That's what I was about to go into, is that John Holmes has a nice looking penis. It does look like there's a pot of gold at the end of it. It's sort of rainbows. And it's a gonzo when it's getting ready.

It's a gonzo, but at the end of the day, it's nice to look at it. Doesn't have like that weird bulge in the middle, like where the top is really small. The bottom is really small. Are we going to do this now? We have to hate two tones. Hey, don't touch it on two tones. Two tones are fine. Wait a second, am I talking to a two tone?

We're talking to a two tone or my friend. No way. You're talking to a two tone. You were brown to pink? I'm a two tone. Okay, that just means he's going the distance and he's, he's, he's dick, that's so weird that it's a jade. We've talked about this.

Actually, I don't know if we have. We absolutely have because I remember you molining two-toners before and I remember defending myself as a two-toner. You know what I'm going to do and this is not, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going to post-facation me. This is not no judgment zone. That's right. That's good.

Reportedly, John Holmes had a 13 inch cock that was four inches in circumference. Oh my God. I mean, well, so they say between 10 and 15. Well, 15 would make it, you know, one of the largest cocks in existence. Yeah. I would say it's probably around 11 and a half. Well, because the guy with the 19 inch penis basically said it is completely unusable. So he's been stretching and tugging and stretching and pulling on it.

Well, you know, I want to go see puppetry. It's falsies integrity. It really has. And that's unfortunate. It should run for office. Yeah. I want to go see puppetry of the penis. And I don't think those guys can get hard after all the things that they do and with

their balls. Yeah. I know. That's a special treat. I actually can be kind of pissed if they can yeah, yeah, yeah Well, the thing is about that is that size means nothing without performance Thank you and when Holmes was at his peak he could stay reasonably erect for hours and more importantly He could ejaculate on cue

That's incredible. Is that bad? No, it's like that scene in boogie nights. You know, it's like I could do it again. I do to get and they're like whoa, and I to this day, honestly, because you know, we'll get we'll talk more about it But I I use that all the time on pretty face. It was always be like I'm ready to fuck. No, no, ready to fuck now Has been our fucking let's go. Let's do this thing for years. Oh, yeah, especially before a live show I don't know how many time I don't know if you guys know before a live show, it's like 745 and I'm sitting in the fucking in the green room going, I'm ready to fuck now. I'm ready to fuck now. Let's do it now. I do recall that. Now speaking of which there was a movie made about the Wonderland murders in particular back in 2003, starring Val Kilmer as John Holmes,

which is a gross miscasting. If you ask me, considering how homely John Holmes actually was, I think if modern America really saw what John Holmes looked like, you'd be like, huh? You know, to like Val Kilmer helps. He also played your Morris. Yeah. But as the Adam Sandler is John Holmes, I just watched little Nikki kind of. You could pull it off. The very talent, the voice room, that movie, I love little Nikki.

I like the movie, but the voice runs it. It just I, I stand back around. Yeah, I love it. I'm trying again. I please do. But as you may already know, the far more interesting take on the John Holmes story is of course the PT Anderson masterpiece, Boogie Nights, which sits at number three on my all-time favorite movie list.

I love that move. Massive, massive fan of Bogie Knights. Such an uncomfortable film. I always think of a person who got into pouring because they only watched the first half. It's true. You're right, though. Yes, because it ends quite brutally. Yeah.

No, actually, it ends as a bit of, it's a, there's a redemption arc. Oh, it's like the first half of blow. You're a star. You're a first half of blow and you're like, man, being a drug dealer must be awesome. First half of the Wall Street. Whoa, it's still in stock. That's awesome. Boogie Knights, however, is only loosely based on the John Holmes story because PT Anderson

wrote the screenplay when he was in his mid 20s based solely on a memory he had of an article called the devil and John Holmes that Anderson read when he was 17. I was watching a documentary with they're called Wad with and Paul Thomas Anderson was on it and He's obviously higher and cocaine Yeah, well, I am then is it? This is gonna be just understand this would be through line And true line indeed truly the coke line throughout this whole series is just about like And indeed, yeah, truly the coke line throughout this whole series is just about like because it's no one should have this level of confidence because Paul Thomas Anderson in that documentary is convinced and continues the myth that John Holmes was a good actor. And he was not a

good actor. He just didn't show up and immediately he's going, basically, we're so amazed. He can even memorize lines. But as a porn actor, the fact he could come on command, that makes it a great porn actor. That's a great, great performer. Well, as I was telling Ben before the show, John Holmes, he was an, a good actor in the sense that he was always the best actor in the porn. Yes. Yeah. That, that was the extent of his great acting though.

But even so, some of the characters in boogie nights were indeed based on real people in this story. Besides Dirk Diggler, obviously being a stand-in for John Holmes, the character masterfully played by Alfred Molina is heavily based on the man who allegedly ordered the Wonderland murders Eddie Nash. Yeah, and the scenes in the porno's in Buggie Nights are basically completely lifted from Johnny Wad movies. Food. It's not good. It's the best. It's probably the best in San Francisco. Well, you got to be careful. I know some people in the adult business and you can't eat peanuts before an anal scene for 24 hours. Otherwise, you get snicker barred.

Oh, I agree. And again, that's all about performance indeed. But as far as what today's story is going to be, this is a tale of a coward with a big dick, a taste for underage girls, and a legendary co-cabit whose actions led to a mass murder that was at the time only comparable to the Sharon Tate crime scene in terms of its brutality. Wow. It also, however, is partly the story

of how the adult film industry grew from a legal 8 millimeter loop sold out of the trunks of cars outside of dirty magazine stores to vague mainstream acceptance with movies like Deep Throat, Debbie Does Dallas, and the Devil and Miss Jones. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm shooting a sex voice. Yeah.

You got your sex voice. Oh, my God.'m kidding. Six points. Yeah. You're so strong. Oh, mama. Also, remember when we covered the ice man, Richard Cookeling, see, he, he, the, all of these guys, there's all the land of the mafia. Yeah. The mafia was selling a lot of this shit. It was like very, very illegal and it made it really, really dangerous.

And then the money kind of like, and the legality kind of made it dangerous all over again. All right. Now, as far as sources go today, we've got mostly reliable narratives like the devil and John Holmes by Mike Seger, the same one that inspired Boogie Knights. Okay. But one source in particular that we're leaning on for the John Holmes side of the story is to say the least highly suspect. What are my favorite?

What are my favorite type of sources? That source is John Holmes' self-serving autobiography, porn king. I feel like it sounds like when Mr. Garrison on South Park was right in erotica. Oh, yes. Yes. There's gonna be a lot of cock talk.

Well, everything is just all how cool John Holmes thinks he is. Yeah. Yeah, it gives us a glimpse into how Holmes saw himself, his story on how the Wonderland murders went down and of course some incredibly disgusting quotes. Okay, for an example, here's how John Holmes described the oral sex skills of a porn actress named Renee Bond. She sucks, Cack, like a starving orphan with her first candy cane. with her first candy cane. Oh, have you ever seen that?

No, I don't. I told you. I'm going for the Christmas. I'm going for the hamburger. There's no nutrition in the candy cane. Yeah, the second part of that line is and when she was done with you, you were nothing but a pile of goose.

Have you ever seen a candy cane at the end of it? Cut your tongue. Oh my goodness gracious bringing Christmas into it. Renee and Holmes, by the way, appeared together in a movie called Phantasm about a professor exploring common female sexual fantasies. It was a bunch of segments in the segment that John Holmes and Renee Bonnerin with simply titled Fruit Salad. Whoa.

Oh, the Toll man show up at all? Was there a portal into another realm? Nope. Not at all. Yeah. I think there was however a demon scene. Oh, there might have been a demon scene. I didn't see.

I am not the huge fan of the quote unquote golden age of pornography. Some of it is just not it's not my vibe. I do like to brush here. I watched a lot of I need to I watched lot of it for this, and get research. I had a warrant. I told Rob right before the show. I told everybody that was in the studio. I was like, if you hear active pornographer coming out of this room, it is research.

My door is open. I have my hands are up. All right. They all learned. There was one segment called blood orgy. Oh, okay. Yeah. But then there was another segment called, yeah, after school. That's yeah. Well, maybe it was maybe it was grad school. Yeah. After master's class. Yeah. Mother's darling. Yeah. But on the other hand, is it that different from what we've got on the front cheeky porn hub today? Please stop with the with the bratty family.

We know we are what what about neighbors gone fucking anything else? Uh, grocers. No, sure. Oh, you're banging, you're banging the person who stocks the hell. Hey, bitch, you are T-pounds sweet potatoes. Boom. Get into this sex. We're on grosser porn.

But long before Holmes was the biggest male actor in porn, he was a poor old country boy, born in Columbus, Ohio in 1944. Oh, yeah. Wow. Supposedly, John was born with what he repeatedly called his unusual member. That's his way of referring to his, I mean, you can only say big cock so many times. Sure. Yeah. So he had to come up with creative ways.

I don't mind. According to legend, the midwife explained upon John Holmes's birth that, quote, this baby has three legs and two feet. Ma'am, can you just deliver the goddamn baby? Stop commenting on this fucking dick. He's a blue is hell. Oh my. I don't need the commentary, man. Maybe the burps is the biggest cockhead ever seen. Oh, okay. Now, as far as his family life went, Holmes's birth father was an absent alcoholic who would

come home at night drunk only to fall over his kid's bed in mid vomit. As a consequence, Holmes stayed sober until he was well into his pornography career and discovered the seductive powers of cocaine. We got to get something to eat, man. That's incredible. So he didn't start. Everyone's a gay way. Drives you start with alcohol. Go to weed and maybe cook in, but he just started with coke. He started with weed. And then he moved on to cat cook. He was cally sober for the most part and then cocaine. Yeah, interesting. Well, soon Holmes's alcoholic father was gone, but that guy was replaced with a severely bipolar World War II veteran named Harold, who had a hard time even physically moving when he was depressed. And of course got highly violent when he was manning.

And also you do not want to be a bipolar soldier because it's like I'm an Nazi. I'm an American. I'm an American. It's very funny though. Okay. In the sadness of it because the role talking about like, you know, we got to just love it when Pappy was depressed because he'd stop hitting us. Yeah. Because then he'd be sleeping. And then all of a sudden, you're like, oh, Pappy, you're feeling bad. Oh, oh, oh, literally my grandmother is not good. No, you said that John, the grandfather would kick John in the spine repeatedly saying, like, John, John, your name's John, right? Your name's John, right?

Well, he's kicking him in the back. That's horrible. As an example of how unstable Harold was, when one day work got to be too much when he was depressed, he jammed his hand into a harvester machine to remove himself from the workforce. It's fucking American, his house. Just telling me got a cold. He lost a thumb and three fingers. And afterwards, he supposedly told his wife, quote,

I never have to work again, Mary, unless they need me in the pinky police. Mama, that is one stinky thing. Hey, I promise you, I won't cut up another thing. That sounds like a horrible way to get out of a job. It is. I didn't imagine him to be saying that in such a jovial voice.

And you have to work again. He must be thrilled. It's office space. No, I'm the guy who got hit by the car who never has to work again. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. No, I imagine him just like in this very magic, I'll never have to work again. It was not a bad thing that ever happened. No, I imagine I'm just like in this very mad I'm like, I'll never have to work again Mary.

Oh yeah, of course. Like, I think about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. It was. It's favorite starters. Billy Joe Shaver. Now, all these traumatic childhood memories are outlined in great detail in Holmes' autobiography. But peppered throughout our graphic descriptions of Holmes proudly detailing his childhood sex life,

which if we're being honest is, I don't know if it's, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. There's only, that's the only way to describe it. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. And if we're being honest, it's almost exactly how Anthony Ketus'

his autobiography starts out as well. Yeah, there's something about, because again, Anthony Keedis also lost. And he loses Virginia and he had like eight 10 years old as like 11 10 or 12 or something like that. Yeah. Like then you see Anthony Keedis now fine.

No. He was raped essentially. You know, he was molested. But then somebody else who like, but she was how like talent can really take you in a different direction. I suppose. Well, Holmes claimed to have lost his virginity to his babysitter at the

age of eight. But most likely, John's loss of innocence came at the hands of a 36 year old neighbor who sexually abused John at the age of 12 or so when they lived in the Columbus project. And as was the case up into

literally 2005, everyone applauded that this was funny in this book and this book that was written as being like, I was always a fucking player. Yeah. I owe everybody always fucking wanted me and it's this thing. We're obviously now we know with that call that's internalized abuse. It's like a thing that's inside of you that you got molested and now you're trying to figure out in your own fucking head how it makes sense for you.

But you know, at the time, people were high five in them. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay. See, John Holmes, like many in the adult film industry, escaped a life of pain and abuse into the world of sex, finding solace, pleasure, and closeness in the act to contrast repeated beatings from a mentally ill six-fingered stepfather.

Yeah. I mean, hello, Iit by these six fingers. So the can kills that. So in 1960, when John was 16 years old, he joined the army and served his time in Germany. There, he met a guy named Tony from New York. No way. We'd eventually introduced John to the world of sex work. They ever heard that.

That's why all you ever heard that old joke? This way, all Italians are named Tony. Well, it's because they were coming over from Ellis Island. They all had two New York on the shirt. That's a real. T zero. And why I don't that's good stuff. Tony.

That's good stuff. Okay, man. Good stuff. That's really good. Some real good Queens humor. I love that. I have a list of big dick jokes made in a lab. Now Tony didn't know about John's unusual member until they were out of the army because

John wasn't the type of dude who would flop it out at a moment's notice. Yeah. He was actually class. He was actually somewhat shy about it. It was only when John left the army, moved to New York with Tony and started dating girls in Brooklyn that were got back around the Tony about John's appendage. And you know, he was not a pro. He was shaped is Roberto.

I'm just looking back at Roberto. I'm looking at him. Look at him. Look at him. I'm looking at him. I'm looking at him. He is literally holding it like he is bringing a sub to a christening. I'm going to need to see it though.

I'm going to see also. Wow. Yes. Nicole Italian's Tony, because when they were coming over here, uh, then, teacher, it's a two New York joke fever. As it turned out, Tony was already working as a jiggle. So he took John under his wing and both of them started just fucking railing rich old ladies in Manhattan. Wow.

Yeah. Supposedly, John cleaned up as a jiggle. Oh, claiming that he was soon a wash and furnished apartments, diamond-studded jewelry, a Mercedes-Benz, and more cash than he could possibly spend. That was rich, you see? Yeah. I mean, $150 per ball. That's a lot back then. One of his rich clients were so enamored with him, He said that her lawyers paid John $50,000 to stop railing her and just go away.

That is big cock energy. Oh, yeah. Now from what John claimed, he quite suddenly and for seemingly no reason wanted to give California a shot. But before he left, he gave all his jiggle of money to a girl he grew up with named Mary Kay, who seemed to kind of be the Jenny to John's forest gum. Yeah. Forest pump.

Yeah. It is interesting because again, it's from his perspective or forest. Tom. Yeah. Thank you. Forest Tom, for his glum, for his clumps of. For his dumb. For his dumb is again, German.

Yeah. Now, this he had to go to California. And my mind, what do we know about John Holmes is that to where is things that he's truly best known for is having huge cock in being an unrepentant, maybe murder slash snitch, right? So he's like a guy that was an entirely unreliable bad person. And I imagine that at some point while you was being the so called super fantastic jiggle that everyone was addicted to, he might have made some bad decisions. Somewhere into

that temper that might have forced him to leave town. Quite possible. Yes. The way John figured it, he could just make all that money back once he got to California because he was just that goddamn good. That dick ain't going anywhere. I can make my balls fart. And so he hitchhiked a ballquee. And so he hitchhiked to California and landed on the steps of the older woman he'd lost his virginity to because apparently they'd kept in touch. Okay. Not first John went legit. He got a job as an ambulance driver. Possibly through this job, he met his soon to be wife Sharon, who was a nurse at USC County General. Okay. Now all Sharon knew about John's past was that he was a reasonably charming country boy who was just trying to

make it in the big city. And actually his being an ambulance driver will factor in later on into his trial. Yeah. Because on one side, he said all of this stuff about when I was an ambulance driver, I saw enough gore for the rest of my life. There is no way I would have ever been involved in these murders. Yeah. And then later on, he would just be like, he was black, but like, whatever, you know, like, it's all over the place. Yeah. Okay. Well, John soon to be wife Sharon had no idea that just a few months earlier, John had been a jiggle low in New York City. Likewise, she also had no knowledge of John's unusual appendage until the night of their marriage, which happened just five months after they met.

I mean, hey, there's worse things that could happen. Can you imagine being with me for like a couple years and that night, I'm like, honey, I'm a comedian for the very first time. That's not a night. For the very first time. That's not a 90s. That's not an 11-inch dick, yes. That's the only thing I have. That's a whole mother thing.

Who reportedly, when John's talent was unfurled in their wedding chamber, Sharon was said to have muttered, Oh, damn. She's what a fucking British. No. No. Woo. I can't imagine she was that upset. I do a nose. What a fucking British I can't imagine she was that upset

I do a nose. Oh dear. I mean that's a thing a lot of women don't like a penis that big You know what it is about it truly if you're not expecting it because there's difference right eight nine incher Well, you know, let's really get a nitty-gritty Nine incher you're you're like wow great I'm scared. I think you're like, wow, great. I'm certain. I'm sure. You're like, who does? Fantastic.

Yeah, eight nine, absolutely. I would imagine like women's set, like I get what you're saying, but like 13 inches. It's insane. It is a lid for every pot because sometimes people have small vigines and they don't mind a small peen, but sometimes women have larger vigines and like a big ol' peen. But this woman didn't know what her vigine capacity was. Oh, shit. And that's maximum capacity.

That is like, you're just jumping. It was like, you know, when I lied to that movie set about how I could ride like a scooter. Like, what if instead of them showing up with a scooter, they're showing up with a Harley? I'd go, oh, dude. Oh, I knew. I knew. Didn knew you got it.

Did you get to kiss Sharon Stone? I did. It's incredible. I'm from North Rape. And when it comes to that massive penis we've been talking about so much, it is unavoidable. Well, yeah, I mean, it's what he's,

it's the only reason why we're talking about this man. True. If he was just involved in a drug related murder and he was just some dude, we wouldn't know who he is. Yeah. Because he's John Holmes, he's got the big dick and we got to talk about it. Hey, hey, hey, you know, again, we're not going to leave it anything on the floor here.

We're really, we do everything we can to have his penis. And he himself actually included a bit of an instruction manual in his autobiography for all you big dickers out there. Yeah. Come on, you long doggers. We know that a lot of people don't have a heck of a lot of, like, you know, consideration for you because you suck. But this is important for you to know. It is important for you to.

Henry will now read the instructions for big dickers. That developed my technique as a teenager because of my size. It was during those years then because of my size. Eddy goes slower and it's been more time on a foreplay than other guys did. If I just jumped into the saddle, I'd cause the woman pain. So I learned to take my dad to the extended fore plays to make a more receptive to me. My rule of thumb became when a woman pulls me to her she was sufficiently lubricated to receive me.

I learned too that while a flat muscular stomach may appeal to a woman visually, a slight bit of a stomach is more exciting in that. It's because even the slightest punch adds friction and stimulation to the pubic air. Therefore, the more padding around a man's stomach, the more he will stimulate his partner. Which is actually for my rights. Yeah, I was. I'm really very happy. Every real punch is better for sex. I've been saying it for years. Dadbards are better at it because we're the hubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbub is if he did like to pleasure. He, which is good, right? He created a character where John,

this is basically, imagine John Holmes has, once we get to the Johnny Wad part of this, he is now a walking living version of Johnny Wad. And in Johnny Wad world, his whole thing is that, yes, he has a huge deck, but he's like, he treats women like equals. Because remember, this is time we'll get more into the history of pornography, but it's all like more like, yeah, I like equals. Because remember this time, we'll get more into the history of pornography.

But it's all like more like, yeah, I'm with the women's lib movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I'm not some machismo guy. I'm the sensitive guy. It likes mixing with all the stuff. Yeah. Now, unbeknownst to his new wife, Sharon, John Holmes was slowly inching his way. So this whole wicked beauty, you think that, please?

Into the world of hardcore pornography. See, in those days, the late 60s, pornography was not yet an industry in America, and was in fact still highly legal. Making pornography could actually get a producer charged with pimping because technically, that producer was facilitating the act of sex between two people in which money was exchanged. Okay. But John's introduction into the industry actually seems from the stories I've heard to be a fairly common way to get noticed. One night in 1968, John was gambling at a poker parlor when in the bathroom, a photographer at the next year on a peak down John's business and and had a bit of a

wowie wow. I don't ever want to meet a photographer in the bathroom. Yeah. Can you imagine? No, maybe that. Remember the guy who kept trying to show me his penis or like in the when I was in that. I was like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, trying to make, yeah, we're bringing the 12 dwarfs to the erotic movie. Oh, there's been multiple porn oh, it's with snow weight in the seven dwarves. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quite a few of them. Yeah, crazy. The scenes there. The photographer soon introduced John to the worlds of nude modeling and nude dancing at male strip clubs, but it was a friend named Linda who brought John into the world of film by asking him if he wanted to make a quick hundred books.

Okay. See, Linda had met a guy named Harry at a party. Harry made so called dirty movies for frat houses and stag parties. And when Linda asked John, if he was interested in participating, he enthusiastically said yes. Now Harry was your typical Hollywood scuzzball

who bartended as his main gig, but he supplemented his income by selling stag films out of the trunk of his car and dark alleyways. And indeed, once Harry showed up to Linda's apartment with an eight-millimeter camera, and John pulled out his monster, Harry knew he'd struck gold. Wow, we're going to need a bigger lens. Now, as I said, pornography films were highly illegal at this point in American history.

So Harry covered up the windows and Linda's apartment with foil to hide the set lights from any vice cop who happened to be driving by. This is actually serious business. Everyone in that room could have gotten up to 10 years in jail for making a porn. And it was aggressively going after it as well. Yes, that's stupid. That however, didn't happen to John,

at least not this time. Everything in that first scene with John and Linda went off without a hitch and Harry developed and cut that footage into something called a loop. Loops were short black and white scenes of quick sex with no story, sound, or dialogue. It's just two people in a room. It's always, it's always playing in the back of John Wayne Gacy's house. I just really wish that I understood why they were having sex with each other and what do they like each other? Did they know?

Why questions alone about the plot are bumping me out of this? Who is this man? Why is the M. X. with that bumblebee? These are actually the first porn oh films made available to the American public. And since they were illegal, they had to be sold out of the trunks of cars that were parked near magazine stands, bars, and adult bookstores. I guarantee you somebody bought one out of a glove box. Yeah. I'm sure at some point. Yeah, but it's that guy, Alex, and they're going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,, hey, hey, hey, hey, can get you high on, but I guess I don't know, different times. Yes, it was very different times. I don't, I actually don't know.

I guess it's like, we were still a Puritan country and we have them in non-NAT Buritan for that long. Exactly. Alternatively, you could also sometimes watch these loops and curtain boots inside adult bookstores. Well, we remember this store we used to get our bootleg DVDs from our brand avenue. They still had the old spang booths very interesting odor. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The deals with a fish tank in there. Remember, this is back when real estate was important.

Oh, yeah. It's just like 15 years ago. Yeah. The booth was actually the easiest option. Because if you bought a loop from a guy like Harry, you needed a film projector to actually watch them, which, you know, these viewings most often occurred anywhere large groups of men congregated in man only gatherings. I'm glad I see. Just glad I never did a big group jerk off. Yeah, I did enjoy playing some sports ball in wrestling, but we never, some, but I know some guys who bonded over at Unix. I don't know about that.

I do like boys. I think they're good people. I think boys are bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's unique way to find friendships. Yes. By some estimates, John Holmes made somewhere around a thousand of these loops that got shown

at Frat House's bachelor parties, VFW halls, any place where a bunch of guys would get super hard sitting close to one another in rows of uncomfortable chairs, who've been in hollering at the content on the screen. It's really the VFW halls because you just see the guy with his guards. But that reminds me of W.W. Two. I think I met a girl like that. I did.

I did a T.A. At that point, this reminds me of five years ago in W.W.2. Oh, wow. You old fucking shit. Yeah. Last year in Korea. You remember the goddamn sands of E.W.O.G.? I'm trying to get hard, Dan. I'm trying to have sex with myself here, Dan.

I don't want to think about goddamn E.W.O.G.O. No, the decrepit guy at this one is like, I remember Gettysburg. Oh, my goodness. Well, he must have been like, this is magic. Seriously. Incredible. When I had to masturbate back in the day, I had to get my daughter. Well, yeah, let's let's do that one in the bud. Considering how accepted and ubiquitous porn is in today's society, it's hard to imagine a time when these movies were highly illegal.

And that's not even a mention how strict movie standards were in general for decades. I'm just talking about like regular theatrical releases. For context, movies were not protected under the umbrella of free speech until 1952. Okay. And the film industry had been somewhat self-policing themselves since 1934 under something called the Hayes Code.

That was just to keep legislation out of the business. Comic books had the same thing, the comics code authority. I believe they weren't even a lot of picture like man and wife in the same bed. It was like, it went that far, right? It's like crazy shit. Yeah, okay. Yeah, even showing a pregnant woman was a little like, that was in the same bed. It went that far, right? It's like crazy shit. Yeah, okay. Yeah, even showing a pregnant woman was a little,

like that was on the edge. Hey, and that's how I'm gonna stuck around to be honest. I'm still there, yeah. I never understand that. That's fine. But, sorry. Get that goddamn pregnant woman off the screw. I mean, I don't, you get just fucking pregnant woman

out of this movie. This is Oppenheimer. I'm here. I'm here. Yeah. I'm here to discuss serious matters. Absolutely. But since humans are extraordinarily horny creatures,

filmmakers have been getting around the strict self-imposed rules for decades by presenting movies with explicit content as so-called educational films. In many ways they are. I also, I think I suffer low T. What do you mean? Not that I don't worry. Good for you. I'm gripped.

Great. I'm gripped with it. It's my fucking... That's why you don't have as much hair on the top because you have high T. I gotta say hair on the top because I have low T. Yeah. Much like Jesus fucking Christ himself.

I think about him a lot when I look at you. Last time I did a checkup, I had extraordinarily low T. Much like Jesus fucking Christ himself. I think about him a lot when I look at you. Last time I did a checkup, I had extraordinarily high T. The doctor told me that it's almost dangerously high. Fuck that. Racking. You can test for it. He said if it was any higher, I'd have to take medication. Yeah, because what happened, what they do is,

first of all, they show you ripping your shirt off. Right, you have to rip your shirt off and you can do it. And then they show you ripping your shirt off. Right, you have to rip your shirt off and see if you can do it. And then they cover you in bronzer. And then they kinda see how does this move show? You have to clinch it, you have to put it on your shirt. The Mr. Universe pose. Yeah, and I'm not like, you know, super muscular,

but you know, I got a Spider-Man body going. Of course, it was good enough. Yeah, pretty similar to John Holmes. All right. Actually, it is very similar to John Holmes. And that's the tragedy that I had with John Holmes when I was a young boy. I do love this story.

It breaks my heart, though. Is that me and my buddy stole a porno tape called the King of Triple X that was a best of John Holmes. And I was about 12, 13 somewhere on there had no context for what penises looked like other than my own. Sure. And I actually, that's very good. Yeah, very good. no context for what penises looked like other than my own. Sure.

And I actually did very good. Yeah, very good. And I thought that John Holmes's penis size was a regular size penis for a man. Wow. That's pure tragedy. So, yeah. So I was extraordinarily insecure about my penis size for a very, very time. I had a poster of Reggie White and I was like, that's going to be, that's

an average football player there. Then I went out there and I sucked. Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of like that. Yeah. And then that trauma was only further extended when a girl that I was dating in high school, spread a rumor that I had an extraordinarily small penis. Oh, and some of the older boys started calling me dirt digler. And then I run it and I run and embrace it. Well, you grew up in the dirt land, so it'd be dirt digler. Yeah, yeah. And they says, yeah, you know, we heard you had this girl said you had a big one.

So we're going to call you a dirt digler. And so they called me dirt digler. Even more. And then I found out years later, you know, because the app on you later, you're like, oh, wow, let's go. These guys like me. Yeah, it was really fun. And I found a years later that they've been mocking me for years and years and years. you know, because, uh, because you like the time you're like, oh, wow, let's go these guys like me. Yeah, it was really fun.

I found that years later that they've been mocking me, uh, for years and years and years and, you know, I don't particularly enjoy those people. I went back to Steven's point. I was revisited when I drove by my high school of all the unbelievable torture. Yeah. I took place in that building, but also some good times too. People loved me in little shop of horror. Most Nican's son.

Sounds great. Hey, that's one of the. Mush, nikkaan son. Sounds great. Hey, that's one of the characters you can still do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that ring of fate. Yeah, you know, I was about as the lead and picnic. I could see that. Yeah, I was in a play called Babes and Arms. Interesting.

Yeah, I only got the role because my friend Paul broke his leg. Hey, man, it's called show business. And one of the most infamous, we're going back to the world of educational films here. We're going back to the world of, let's see how much income we can put in here without getting into trouble. Great. One of the most infamous was a so-called

sex hygiene film called Mom and Dad. Cool. John Waters actually lists this as his favorite sex hygiene film. Now the plot of Mom and Dad is just set up for the action at the end. It involves a woman who is impregnated by a sweet talking pilot who dies in a playing crash. And therefore the girl is left to deal with the pregnancy on her own.

Okay. She can't turn to her mother. Her mother's very judgmental. Sure. So she's a plot lot. Yeah. Yeah. So she seeks the advice of her teacher. And as it just so happen, her teacher had just been fired from another job for teaching

sex education. Oh, I'm sorry. One in one is starting to become for. Yeah. What's going to happen? The movie then switch. I'm actually being surprised when they start having sex. I really wait. I never saw that coming. This is disgusting. No, no, they don't have sex. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, it's far worse than that actually.

Oh, great. The movie then switches to it's so-called educational portion. It's like, it's a lot like a glimmer glenda. The Edward movie. Have you ever seen it? Yes, of course. Yes, of course. Yes, of course.

Yeah, thinly veiled out a biographical tale of Edward, telling his girlfriend that he likes to dress as a woman. And then when she hands the Angora sweater to him at the end It very jarringly cuts to a very graphic sex change operation footage Educational educational yes, I remember that the old the old TLC the learning channel You just be surgeries brought and I were talking about this right before the show There's the fucking guy who shows there's an educational video's on YouTube of him washing his own asshole.

I know the videos of the guy creep trying to extend his foreskin. Yeah. Back out. That's all just on YouTube. It's fine. As long as it's documentary. Okay. Well, in the case of mom and dad, when they switched to the educational portion, they showed

graphic images of female genitalia and two live births. That was their way to show vagina That's like shit. I don't want to see the mukbang. I don't want to see the muck shit Yeah, I want to go to see a firework show and they show you the Hinderberg crash But you think this might be someone of a niche film like Like one of those they, like kind of a little quirk of movie history, something that not a lot of people saw. Mom and dad was the third highest grossing movie of the 1940s. Yeah, cause they know when else got to just see open vagina.

Yeah, compared, if you compared it to a movie today as far as like ticket sales and you know, money made and all that, it made as much money as the last Star Wars move. You go fuck it. Seriously? Oh my goodness. A destined for inflation, of course. Of course.

In the red conning. The red conning on the internet alone is just unmanned. I remember that they took all the, they took all the scalples out and replaced them with walkie talkie. Yeah. And you're like, what is this film? Well, from there, guys like the producer of Mom and Dad, this wonderful character named Kroger Bab. Yeah. And you're like, what is this film? Well, from there, guys like the producer of Mom and Dad,

this wonderful character named Kroger Bab. Yeah. She's circumvented sensors even more by showing, quote, unquote, documentaries about foreign cultures who just happened to be topless all of the time. Okay. That was our whole childhood. Whatever natural we had in a natural grade.

Of course. It's, uh, you shaped my sexuality to this day. Yeah. Funny side note, Kroger Bab's company was called Hall. Of course. Yeah. I shaped my sexuality to this day. Yeah. Funny side note. Kroger Babs company was called Hallmark production. Yes. Yes. Happy Mother's Day. Oh, Kroger Bab, he's a really interesting guy. He's like in the film world, he's sort of a William Castle type where his whole thing was

promotion, where he would start a fake outrage campaign in advance of mom and dad and like write all these letters to newspapers saying like, I can't believe this movie is going to be shown. You know, he would like to American. Yes. These are the guys that led us to where we are today in many ways, like how entertainment is rolled out and what they do. It's all baked into the spine of show business. I was moving the movies too dangerous to see The movie, no one wants you to watch. Yeah, it just came out that there's been like this PR company paying critics for, like, Rotten Tomatoes for, like, good film reviews. It's been going on for like five years now.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I did send Henry a clip of Roger Ebert, surprisingly loving Nutty Professor too. He said, again, he loved it. I think it might have been the chemo talking, but he was out. He really nice. It was the nicest review he's ever given. I mean, this country, it's just flimflam man all the way down. You can tell me that again. But once the sex hygiene films open the door, filmmakers moved on to another genre that was a bit closer to pornography, but not quite there. These movies, known as Newtie cuties

in the industry, when it comes to porn, all of these words are gross. Yes. Well, these were all movies that were set in nudist camps. Okay. Somehow they got around. If it's a nudist camp, it's fine. It's education.

These included such classics as Nude on the Moon, which asked the question, what if there were nudist camps on the moon? Honestly, for men and women, that gravity, tits your tight, dicks of nice. I would love that. Everyone's tighter, right? I've got dust in my couch.

Well, that's based on that space dust. I watched part of it, and I would compare it to the Roger Corman soft core classic dinosaur island. It's very similar to that. Where two astronauts it to the Roger Corbin soft core classic dinosaur island. It's very similar to that where two astronauts fly to the moon and find that the moon is just like Southern California. Incredibly enough. And there's a nudist camp and then there's, and then there's the women.

It's all run by, there's only women in the nudist camp and they, they wear their spacesuits the whole time and it's, it's a, it's a fun rock. It's just a rock. It does sound fun. I was reading an article. They say there's aliens on Venus. Interesting's just a rock. It does sound fun. I was reading an article. They say there's aliens on Venus. Interesting. Well, yeah, there's some ideas. I will save it. We'll see. Here's some of us. Yeah, yeah. We'll expand on that later. Well, these Newtie cutie films led to the acceptance of at least bear breasts appearing on the screen

because there's one LAPD vice cop put it as long as there ain't no pubic care, there ain't no problem. Well, that he wouldn't mind porn today. But after Denmark legalized pornography in 1969, it was only a matter of time before the rest of the world followed America included. That same year, the Supreme Court decided that any adult had the right to possess pornographic material, making it, on the other hand, was still dicey legal. It's very interesting, because it's like with hand, was still dicey legally. It's very interesting because it's like what they with all these states are decriminalizing weed, where you can like, you can have it in your hand and you can smoke it.

You can't sell it or buy it. So it's like, where did you, where did it come from? Well, it's the difficulty thing of how do you get an act in roll without an act in roll? You need an act in roll to get an act in roll. I remember when you were trying everybody in our in their brothers and sisters, when we were coming up, we're like trying to be bartenders. Yeah.

And then you try, you go in and they're like, well, do you have any bartending experience? And you're like, this would be that. Now hear me out, man, I've been in multiple bars. Have you ever barted? Ah, I've been as well.

I've, I've crawled behind many of them. That's, I gotta thank my boy, BBs at BBC's, ooh, speaking of pornography. Um, he, I was like, because I was just a regular there when I was in Milwaukee. And I was like, you're going to get a phone call from a bunch of bars, tell them I barbed into there for years. And he did. But then they found out I was just an alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah. I actually do have a, there's a reason why they don't hire you

because I was hired at a place in the Lower East Side called Lotus Lounge. Yeah. It turns out if you have no experience bartending and someone asked for a margarita and you don't know how to make it or say, have martini or buddy. I know. Just drink just any mixed drink at all. And you don't make it well. People get really mad. Dude, I got fucking screamed at.

I was working at this. I think it was like, oh, Hanlon's or something in the upper west side. And they're like, you're just taking too much time. And I was just like, beer or whisk, what do you want beer? And you want whiskey? That's what's happening now. We're talking about this dream.

You as a server, Marcus. I either want to, but you as a you as a server at that time period, but the long hair. I can see Marcus. Yeah, I'm fucking. Well, yeah, sure. Yeah, did you want me? To the other seven room.

I think you would be a great bartender. I was a great bartender. I was a bad drink. I was a bad drink mixer. I was a great bartender. I was a bad drink mixer. I was a wonderful bartender. That is a bar. Well, but it's also about the conversation. I was shortly after Andy Warhol took advantage

of the Supreme Court ruling by releasing an art film simply titled, fuck, which was the first American movie to show, fuck, which was the first American movie to show explicit sex on screen. This was in contrast to Warhol's previous erotic film, Blowjob, which only showed the face of a guy receiving the titular action. Oh, that's the worst porn away I've ever heard of.

Yeah, it was pretty, it's, it's fun to watch though. Yeah, but you're not spunkin' into it. No, you're not spunkin' into it. Oh, I don't want to see that. I never won. Oh god, there's a mirror in our room and every one's wealthy. You catch it. And it's just like, the dead eyed short face that you have. And it's just like, I remember, I was like, oh, I should have moved my face.

Yeah. But three years after fuck, America became fascinated with a hardcore porn called deep throat. Simply because, unlike most porn at the time, including Warhol's art piece, deep throat had a plot ridiculous as it was, but with the clitoris and the throat and such. You know, sometimes God got it wrong. How great would that be if we all had clits in our throats every time you also come? Oh, God, I don't even even know I don't need it. That's right.

Because then we become old hat. Yeah, they've happened. No, three times a day. Oh, it's true. Remember the guy who uncontrollably orgasms again. Yeah. And then he's orgasming and his father's funeral. He didn't like it.

He's like, I don't want to come right now. But no matter how silly the plot was, deep throat brought pornography to the mainstream. And that place was only solidified when cultural icons like Johnny Carson started making jokes about deep throat on the tonight show. And as it just so happened, when pornography was legalized and its existence was slowly but surely being accepted by mainstream society, John Holmes was in the perfect place and the perfect time mainstream society, John Holmes was in the perfect place and the perfect time to become the biggest male porn star of what came to be known as the golden age of pornography. I call it a light brown. Yeah, kind of a creamy egg of brown.

Bronze age. Well, they call it the golden age of pornography because it actually like shows it in bookie nights and like two scenes. Like there's that, but that scene with J, where he's watching Bert Reynolds character, like edit, you know, the first movie, you know, that for, and where he looks at him and goes, it's a real film, Jack. Yeah. Oh, man, I wouldn't see more Hoffman also, man.

What a character. And then, you know, about an hour later into the movie, after Dark Deglar has left the scene, where the the girl goes, is he gonna fuck me in the ass? He's like, do you want him to fuck you in the ass? And he goes, it would be nice. And he goes, fine, fuck her in the ass. Oh, it's sad. It's sad.

Yeah, it's sad. Those are the back, those are the bookends. Yes, it is. Now right around the time that porn was becoming legal, John showed up at a sort of open air mall with office buildings on sunset boulevard called the Crossroads of the World. If you look it up, it's famous. Yeah. The Crossroads have been built in 1936 by a woman named Ella Crawford who actually had a true crime story all her own. And Los Angeles is just an LA every to everywhere you turn, there's like a

fucking incredible true crime story. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Ella had been married to a prohibition crime boss named Charles Crawford, who operated Bordeaux and Casinos in Los Angeles until 1931. Crawford's reign ended that year when he was killed in his office, supposedly in self-defense by a former district attorney named Dave Clark. Yeah. Yeah. Equated of the murder. Yeah, man. You're your own district attorney. Wow. Ella Crawford, of course, inherited all of her husbands, Ilgatan Gaines, and use them to build crossroads of the world on the very spot where her husband had been murdered. Holy shit. So it's haunted. God, that puts so met. That puts in such context. I went to many auditions there. I've been to many. Yeah, because they do HBO.

Good places had offices out of there. Yeah, a lot of us. I used to go and it's just thinking about I was like, Oh, now it's now knowing that it's all murder. The whole thing is literally based on murder. I remember that. And actually, I think there's footage of you being like, can you fuck me in here? Yeah. They're like, fine. It a nice. It did. Now by the late 60s, the crossroads of the world have become city like many other locations built in the 20s and 30s that started off as classy. LA's full of places like that.

New York's full of places like that. Where he's before the offices of the crossroads have been rented out by the likes of Alfred Hitchcock. They were by the late 60s populated by con men and pornography producers. The backbone that show been truly and how fucking dare you. I don't disagree with that. That's the backbone of this industry. Why did I think it is?

See, many of the storefront facades had small soundstages consisting of little more than a few lights, a tripod, a rumbled bed, and some worn furniture as set pieces. These humble beginnings, however, were the birthplace of the American pornography industry. And John, I'm starting to think my sis is a little bratty. What's that? I think someone stuck in my washing machine. And of course, when the American porn industry was born, John Holmes was in the right place at the right time.

And I will, I will, yes, obviously, you know, this is one of these stories where you never really tear an entire career based off of penis. Me, you're actually career based off of boobies quite a bit. And so it's interesting that this, he was just, I, because he wasn't right about anything, right? In my mind, John Holmes was never correct. He just happened to have a huge shlong at the right place when a huge shlong would make you a lot of money.

Yeah, I don't, I mean, just the story at this point, though, he does seem like a sympathetic lover. He's not. He's not even as old. He's a coward. He's a piece of shit. I'm just saying it from what we're learning thus far. Because we're hearing his version, no point.

Yeah, literally hearing his version of this. Oh, this is his. So this is his take on his life. Yeah, you're just hearing John side of the story. Okay, good to know. And we're going to hear more of the rest, the rest of the story as it goes on. Or could it be it was nothing but an alien power port? Well, as the story goes, a porn magazine had made an open casting call to an office at the crossroads. And when John walked in, the people who made the open call didn't think

that they could use him because without his dick, John was just a skinny, weird looking dude with an afro. Yeah, he just looked like low rent, Ikebod craze. He was gross. He just, I feel like there's some people after that, who call him cute or handsome, whatever. And I guess, I just don't, I don't see it. No. Yeah. All right. But when John went to the back room and stripped down the casting director took one look and said, dead Get you're gonna be a star. This is gonna go great. From that moment forward, John C. Holmes began saying that the C stood for cash. You know, it's the man is at first that you're long time. I thought it started with the K.

Yeah, I would say cock, but I guess he won cash. He's already there. Yeah. Now, after the success of Deep Throat, Pornoh theaters like the pussycat and Los Angeles began popping up all over the country because Americans suddenly had little problem being seen waiting in line to watch a fuck movie

with a bunch of other people. Because it became a political movement in a way. And it was a little bit of like about liberal people's liberation about being able to artistically express themselves. These guys were kind of, so it was kind of cool to go see porn for a second. Absolutely. Well, as far as John's first legal movie went,

the first with a plot, it was called The Ladies Bed Companion. Oh, what's that about? Holmes plays a Dildo salesman. Mm-hmm. Actually, this one's a renter. Yeah. Yeah.

At least make him sell in vacuums. And very on the nose. And he hadn't quite found his confidence yet. So it said that like his voice in this movie, they said he sounded like Eddie Haskell from Leave It To Beaver. Oh my God. My mom had friend she called, but I had friends that my mom called

little Eddie Haskell's quite often. That meant that she didn't like them. Well, she said that they were, so they're, they're with suck ups. So suck ups. Yeah, suck up. They were so there's there were suck ups. So suck up. So yeah, suck up. Anyway, we got a 90. I got 90.

70. A little. Yeah. Well, Doritos. That's the right guy. I'm just like look at it. Holmes, however, put in an adequate performance when it came to acting. Big performance when it came to CAC.

Yeah. That's the that's the main thing. And his career took off from there. I will say I saw some documentary, where several women there work with him said he was never completely hard. It's difficult to be completely hard with 13 inches. Yeah, I get the blood up there. And that's a thing. Smaller penises.

Very hard. Indeed. Yes, indeed. Just indeed. But would you rather have a tiny toothpick or a big floppy broadsword? I would honestly, it depends what you have. What do you think?

It's more like a serving spoon. Oh, nothing wrong with that. I sounded for. Okay. And I prefer a strong back salad for absolutely. But problem was John Holmes was a few. Remember married and he hadn't told his wife about any of this.

Oh, you're going to want to just bring it up. Was the story goes, John's wife Sharon came home from her job as a nurse one day to find her husband measuring his penis marvel at the monstrous size of his own member. Did you see this? Did you see this thing? Whoa. Have you seen it? You know what I'm talking about? Have you seen this thing? You know what I'm talking about? Did you see this thing? Whoa. Have you seen it? You know what I'm talking about?

Have you seen this thing? You know what I'm talking about? Have you seen this thing? Yes indeed, foot long. Get your foot long. Have you seen this? I'm talking about my dad just dating him over here. What's going on?

When she asked why he was measuring his own penis, John decided that this was the moment to come clean. Might as well. I mean, he told her that he discovered what his life's work was gonna be. He said that he always wanted to be the best in the world that's something. And Sharon, you're never going to guess what it is. It's pornography.

Oh, I'm good. It's a lot. It's a lot. Isn't that great? It's pornography. But I'm going to be a pornography actor. To Henry's previous joke is I'm gonna be a pornography actor. Henry's previous joke is still better than being a comedian.

If you're married and you're like, honey, I'm getting into a standup comedy. Well, that means it's a sicko all right. Yeah. Yes. Now, if you'll remember, Sharon was a nice lady. She'd waited until marriage to have sex. She was a nurse. She just wanted a nice normal life. She was devastated to find out that her husband

had at this point been a pornography actor for years. Wow. Thousands of times over. It is kind of, it's like how do you put this or something about like having a third again. It's that size of penis that it's not like it's not, you know, again, other guys are going to get it. But you're a normal lady. You know that that is, this is going to lead to trouble. I feel like looking at this. I don't know. This is how there is many big, dick men out there who have totally normal lives. I see normal big, big men. I'm saying a 13 inch or you're looking at it and you're like, this is, this is bad news. The indictment on the big dick community coming from Mr. Sibrausky today. Well, as John explained it to her, his job, it's no

different than being like a carpenter. Oh, no, I'm now, I'm so she looks at people all the time nursing. Jesus Christ. Are you fucking? I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. See, I see, I see Jesus whenever I look at him. And he was hung like John Holmes. And he was hung like this. You doing it. I'm not doing it. See I see I see Jesus whenever I look at him And he was hung like John Holmes and he was hung like this you get it Yeah They don't even have to see it. Yeah, yeah, good. Yeah, good humor rich humor. Well the way John put it his big cut It's just a tool. Yeah, it's the thing that he uses to make a living and when he comes home at night It's the thing that he uses to make a living. And when he comes home at night,

tool stays at the job. Yeah, man, that's a job. Yeah, I mean, it's covered with the, let's call it job residual. But it's here now. Yeah, the resident. No, no, man, it's like when a mechanic comes home, he washes the grease off his hands.

I mean, it's true. Some people, but some people do get upset if you are. Sex workers deserve love. You could do the thing, but I feel like it's how you position how you position it wasn't I feel like if you've been lying for years or being a pornography actor for a long time And you're doing something like that's like bad. You've got to start from a place of Communication, well, you have to start from I'm a I do this. Are you cool? Yeah, that's what you do. That's first up. She ever asked where the money is coming from. Well, I think he lied He didn't make the he must have made some cash.

It was starting to make money, but it wasn't until he like became a star. He was making like 75 bucks of films. Like it's still just he's in the minor leagues. He's definitely in the minor leagues at this point. Yeah, he's done like one big film, but he's done thousands of those loops. So he said he's done a thousand of those loops. So he made a good amount of money at that time. Yeah. You know, those loops sometimes you get paid 20 bucks. Sometimes you get paid 50.

It's not a lot of cash. And he knows from experience. Yeah. But he said he wasn't cheating at all. He says, this is just my tool. So you should be cool with it. Uh-huh. And Sharon, she wasn't swayed, but amazingly, she stayed.

Yeah. They kept living together in a sort of like weird domestic arrangement for almost another decade. They still living together in a sort of like weird domestic arrangement for almost another decade. They still slept in the same bed. They would kiss each other good night, but they did stop having sex in 1975. Interesting. I was around the time that she saw a picture of him in the midst of full deep penetration.

Yeah, full grante. All right. Right from North Laid. Now around the time John came clean to his wife, he met a UCLA film school graduate named Bob Chen, who saw the fledgling porn industry as an opportunity to make his mark on the world of film. See, porno theaters were requesting more feature

length movies like Deep Throat, but Bob was just taping five or six loops together to make a porno that was technically feature length movies like Deepthro, a Bob was just taping five or six loops together to make a porno that was technically feature links. But it didn't have a plot. Gotcha, you're gonna need the story. That all changed, of course, when John Holmes entered Bob's office looking for work. Now, at first glance, Bob thought that John was like a gaffer

or like a grip. Yeah, he thought he was crew. John was not a handsome man, but according to legend, he just said that mustache though. Let's give him a little credit for that mustache. Every guy had to stash that in those days. But not like that one. We're bringing it back.

But according to the legend, when John dropped his pants, Bob's partner said, quote, What a walk this guy is. What? Wow, we won. It's a tire thing. It, wow, wow, wow, wow. It's a dire thing. It's just man, it is a superpower because he alters reality.

They see one thing and then he drops trow and they just it all are changes. All the other side. Now, for some reason, the word wad stuck in their head. They loved it. They didn't think it sounded disgusting or off putting at all. No, Johnny Wad.

Ah, instead they built an entire character around the word Wad, a character that would come to define the career of John Holmes. And that character was, of course, Johnny Wad. I think it's it for porn star. That's proper name. Sure. Well, he was still John Holmes. Johnny Wad was the character he played in the series of films. This is how he got to keep the marriage. Yeah. I'm Johnny Wad. I'm playing a character at home.

Yes. See, Johnny Wad was kind of a hard boiled, dirty, hairy type detective whose trademarks were a pinky ring and a big dick. Just like his father. Yeah. Usually, Johnny Wad would extract information about a case from a woman through said big dip. It wasn't a complicated.

No, it was not. Now, while John was no less complicated than Matt luck. Yeah. Now, while John was an ugly man, he had an edge on other porn performers at the time because he could memorize lines and he could sort of act like how they chose the horse to be Mr. Ed. He can make his mouth move right. That was with peanut butter.

Yep. Yep. This helped considerably because pornoteaters were looking for pornoflicks with at least assemblots of a plot. Here's an example of John's acting skills in a Johnny Wad movie that also shows how Johnny Wad got things done. I'll come straight to the point Mr. Wad Johnny call me Johnny If something that I want

I cannot possibly imagine what I could have that you'd be interested in Dick or does it's cock Yeah, the answer is cock the answer is a big You see the smile that he had or the smile that she had but the answer is cock. The answer is a big cock. Yeah, it's gonna be big cock. You didn't see the smile that he had or the smile that she had, but the answer is a large, unusual member. You guys know that you're demonizing this? Look, I think it's confident. Confident?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So Bob Chen wrote the first Johnny Wad script on the back of an envelope and shot it two days later at his cameraman's apartment on Venice Beach. Johnny Wad was an immediate hit. So the back of an awful lot of people. I love. I know. I'm moving. I'm moving right there. It was a large envelope. Didn't that Jake A. Rowling chick start writing on napkin?

Yeah, it's very similar. Yeah, but you didn't write the entirety of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone on Nacken. Who know? Well, I mean, there was no big, shouldn't a big cock to save the scenes. God, what if that had been incredible? Yeah. If it's a fair, is it a whole door in that one? Harry Potter reveals his 13 inch fucking cock. He did on stage. Oh, dude. I thought, yeah, he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna, what's being left? It's not bad. Well, two weeks after the release of John,

I'm gonna get some grief. It's not Hodor. Who's the big Gary guy in that one? Hagrid, it's the same. It's all the same. It's not the same. I get called all of these things. So I just try to get it called right.

Hagrid is much nicer than Hodor. It is. Yeah, my friend, I guess Hagrid could talk. Because you do, at this point in time, you do genuinely look like Hagrid. Yeah. Like Jesus, Hagrid, Christ.

God help us all. Jesus Christ. I did ask my friend, I said, they call me Hodor. He's like, well, he is really nice, but he's super stupid. Oh my God. Yeah, well, let me explain. Well, two weeks after the release of Johnny Wad, they shot a sequel called The F of the Lotus. That's cool because they're trying to be classy. Yeah, that took just a day to shoot. And it was in theaters in within a week. Well, see, they're like South

Park. They are. They just come up with it and they get it done. They shot it during the day. They developed it that night. they edited it the next day, and man, it's just out everywhere. You can't say they weren't working. No. Now, porn movies could be shown in Los Angeles in the early 70s, but you could still be prosecuted for filming porn in Los Angeles under pimping and pandering laws. Pandering actually hadn't heard of before.

Pandering is the act of attempting to influence a person into doing a legal sexual. Yeah, I never heard of that term. Yeah. There was even a special vice squad, a sign to busting porno shoots, which the porn industry nicknamed the pussy posse. And the industry even would provoke the squad. They sent them 15 t-shirts that said,

mm, pussy posse. Okay. They really did win. They win after it very hard. Really hard. And I think a part of obviously in the back in the day, which is why it's nice for these things to start to come like get folded into legal systems and have all these people looking at it. There was, there was a lot of

human trafficking in this industry. They are being pulled back and forth. There was a lot of rape. There was a lot of people like getting pulled out of like horrible situations, get forced and put into movies, all those type of shit. So I mean, Linda Lovelace, like said specifically, like deep throat is rape pornography. Yeah. She was coerced and she was raped on screen and everybody saw it and she didn't come out and tell her years later with that. Now it's nice that they're like, that's the idea. If you make it a regulated like industry, yes, but you know, then capitalism does the thing. Mm hmm. Well, as a result of the increasing police pressure in Los Angeles, Bob Chin started filming in San Francisco.

And there he and John ended up making 14 Johnny Wad films in total with names like around the world with Johnny Wad. Oh, tell them Johnny Wad is here. Oh, I'll get the kitchen. And here comes Johnny Wad. Yeah. So it seems like there's a similar thing to theme to the names. And here comes Johnny. Wow. Got it.

So it seems like there's a similar thing themed to the names. Yeah. Well, those are only three out of 14. There's others. You all have a lot of them. Not all of them have Johnny. Okay. No, only only five or six of them.

I did love to play this Johnny. Why didn't Mortal Kombat though? Yeah. Really. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny. The cock finisher there.

The cock finisher. He just drowned them in semen. He did. He did. He did actually punch people in the genitals. So there is a slight connection. It's right. There is a slight connection.

Now by the mid 70s, John Holmes is getting paid the modern equivalent of $20,000 a day for shoots, which had extended from one day affairs to six week productions. So he was making over a hundred grand a week for, you know, certain shoots. Yeah, for a short period of time. Yeah, for a short period of time. Yeah, it's a real film, Jack. Wow.

He'd become so popular that according to one porn actress named Bunny Blue, when John went on promotional tours, women would literally urinate themselves in excitement when they met the infamous Johnny Wad. You kind of see it. I saw a section of one of his interviews from the exhausted documentary and you can kind of see the giddiness of the woman that is talking to him. I quote a lot of it to cocaine in that documentary. You can kind of hear the people that are enjoying, enjoying themselves on cocaine.

And then you see John Holmes, who is cocaine. Yeah. And watch how he's in total. He's obviously all fucked up, but they're all laughing and giddy to be around him. And he's making these dumbass coke jokes. You know what I mean by coke jokes? Yeah. Yeah.

They were doing about your coke. Yeah. Well, John Holmes by the mid-70s had even earned a nickname. He was called the Errol Flynn of pornography So this is because of his swordsmanship if you get my grip who is Errol Flynn? He played like Zoro. Oh Yeah, he was a swat he always played the swashbuckler roles Gotcha and indeed John Holmes was becoming a bona fide celebrity with movies like dick man and throbbing. What's that about? Batman and Rob.

Oh, he actually did the event. Well, look at that. It took me a little, I had to think about it because I, I had it in Throbbing. I thought she does a word puzzle. Right. And I was like, I'm going to have to think and I, yeah, Batman and Robin. I also had confessions of a teenage peanut butter freak. Okay.

And most controversial, the zodiac rapist, which is exactly what it sounds like. How that test. Wait. I don't know how that is around the time of the zodiac killer murders as well. Like it was, it's a controversial film. Oh, I think I think about actually brought up. I was reading Joe Bob Briggs's book about exploitation films and pornography in particular. And he brings up a little bit

about like this guy with it's not the same, but Rudolph Valentino, like that guy that was Valentino of the super famous. It was that kind of happened with him too. Like it's his most famous movie is a gigantic rape fantasy. Yeah. She could have he was famous for it's all like. And this is just, I mean, it's also I suppose I suppose it plays on films as well. Like I spit on your grave, which was the revenge. Yes. Later. Now this is just John Holmes raping a bunch of. No, I know, but I'm saying that movie is like literally a comment on that culture. I believe that she gets reventioned murders. Everybody. It's a brutal first half of that movie. And then the second half, you're like, kill him, kill

him. But then John Carpenter, who would she made that movie as a part of it is that he worked in pornography. Many years. Yeah. I don't know that. Yeah. And the Zodiac grape has does end with him getting captured and sentenced to death. He's supposed to be sentenced to hanging. But the apolog said that his execution was canceled. After they discovered he was hung enough already. It's with a pun. There we go. Well, such was John's fame that he began filming all over the world. One time he went to France

to make a porno remake of Beauty and the Beast and a Haitian dwarf who was part of this like weird, filini type or a G scene delivered a pound of African weed to the set for the enjoyment of all involved. Okay, sweet. That's awesome. John performed in quite a few gay pornography films as well, as it wasn't uncommon at the time for performers to do boats. His best known gay works are the private pleasures of John Holmes, pool party, and just good friends. Hey, that's what we are. We're just good friends. Just good friends. Now, even's what we are. Yeah. We're just good friends. Now, even though John was more or less a minor celebrity by the mid seventies, he'd secretly been a police informant since 1973. This is where it all begins. This guy say, this is why he's, I mean,

he's truly a piece of shit. See, the vice squad was so on top of the porno industry that producers would never tell the cast exactly where they would be shooting until the day of the shoot. I would say like, porno actors and actresses lose lips. Yeah, right, right, yeah. Usually the actors would meet the producers for lunch at a Los Angeles restaurant. And then they would be told, okay, go to this address and this is where we're gonna film.

Or go to this address, pick somebody up, then take them to the film. They had better security than Ronnie Reagan did. But they needed, they needed to do it because they knew that they were gonna get arrested and they were following them. They're all over the industry. Right. In 10 years, there's no joke. And on the day that John got busted, a different informant had told the vice squad, the time and location of John's meeting with a producer in Hollywood.

And just like anybody in Los Angeles, when he heard somebody else just got a job, he was like, how do I get that? Mm-hmm. After the meeting, the LAPD followed John to the Valley, where John picked up two girls who were supposed to be involved in the production. As it turned out, the girls were under age, 16 and 17 years old.

So the cops showed up at John's house in Glendale, where he still lived with his wife with an arrest warrant. Uh oh. John was facing three years in jail for pimping, but if he so chose, he could cooperate by telling the vice squad who was directing, producing, and financing pornography in the valley. In addition to telling them the locations of shoots and where actors were being picked up for said shoots. You reminds me of Walt Disney, who was also an informant for the FBI.

And did you know the original Mickey Mouse Club was filmed in FBI headquarters? Hey, yeah, I don't know. Walt Disney reminds me a lot of, John. Yeah. Well, he's a snitch. A John then spent three years snitching on the rest of his industry, which would later go a long way in keeping John Holmes out of jail when he became extraordinarily addicted to Free Basin cocaine.

You never hear anybody who's just like, I just try to once. Well, sometimes, yeah, you do, sometimes. May I ask, I actually don't know what Free Basin, what's different between Storning and Free Basin? We're gonna get into all, trust me, man. Okay. You're gonna hear a lot about Free Basin cocaine

in the city. Yeah. Yes. We're gonna teach you how to do it. And we're going to do it together. This is the dare program for our listeners. I dare you to free-based cocaine. As I just mentioned, John was still living with his wife Sharon and Glenn Dale all throughout

the 70s. When John wasn't filming or doing publicity, he helped his wife manage a series of cottages that were owned by a pediatrician that Sharon worked for. In 1976, though, a 15-year-old girl named Dawn arrived at John and Sharon's cottages with her sister and her abusive father, who had just returned from Thailand with a new wife after abandoning his family for seven years. Welcome back, Daddy! Jesus.

Yeah, it's just broken home after broken. Right. You know, there's a theme there. John soon took notice and began grooming Don and after he took her to a showing of one of his movies, the autobiography of a fleet, which was based on the anonymous 19th century erratic novel of the same name. Okay. John began a long lasting sexual affair with this underage girl. Soon Don became emancipated from her father, her sister moved back to Florida, and all that was left was Sharon and John. Now Sharon still tried being a good person by acting as a mother figure, but Don was smitten with John, who was more than twice her age. This is very

similar to Boogie Knight's too. She was 15, he was 32. Basically, Don would do anything for John, and as it was, the would do anything for John. And as it was, the days were coming when John would need quite a bit of assistance. See, by the mid to late 70s, pornocets have become a wash with cocaine. To the point where some actors were straight up paid in cocaine, so as to cut out the middleman. You know what's so hard though about cocaine? It's pan-ret with it.

Well, you can. Yeah, but a lot of people, it takes some time. You got to's so hard though about cocaine. It's pan-rent with it. Yeah, but a lot of people, it takes some time. You got to build up trust with your super. Yeah. And this is also the very dark side of the industry here because you know, these producers would use cocaine to control the actor. Of course. They get them to do shit that they didn't want to do. It's like, well, if you don't want to do anal, you're not going to get your cocaine. Here's a little sniff. Go for it. And then so on. So of course, one oh, uh, industry 101.

Yeah. Disgustingly enough. Now, John was actually Calisoba until the mid seventies, only smoked weed, but at the encouragement of a producer, John tried Coke for the first time in 1976. And he liked most people who try it. Fuck and loved it. Oh, yeah. I will start the scene of this thought, which is I actually thought it was really Miley and he'd like most people who try it, fuck and loved it. Oh yeah.

I'll start the scene of this thought, which is I actually thought it was really Miley Cyrus made a really interesting comment about touring and how it was like fucking up her life. And the one thing that she said was because as you are performing for hundreds of thousands of people on some level, they're looking you as the rock star that is creating this massive sea of entertainment for them and they love you and they worship you.

But you know in your own head, you're just late. You're just somebody who does fucking whatever. They'd say, I sing good, I come from a singing family. To me, this is normal. I'm doing this for forever. So at some point, you either have to believe that you are this otherworldly beyond human rock star. And it makes you some kind of weirdo, or if

you're a normal person that is in this type of job, you have to do something to supplement that behavior. And one of those things that really helps you feel like a rock star apparently is cocaine. Yeah. And that what that does is fill out the ego. And now what we're going to see is with John Holmes is that that connection of all of this shit where the cocaine is going to make them feel like, quote unquote, Johnny Wad all the time. Right. You want to be instead of going from Johnny to John.

Right. I'm not. You want to remember your Brian Warner. Yes. You want to remember you're the guy. You're just a person. You're a human being. That's why Iggy Pop is the best because he never forgot about Jim Ostreberg.

Yes. That's his real name. Oh, yeah. They're old Ostreberg. There you go. He doesn't introduce himself as Iggy. Like when you meet him, he's like, hi, Jim, nice to meet you.

That's what you have to do. I would love to meet him. I would love to. And I'd be like, Mr. Jim, I love your work. That's all I've ever said to anyone that I've met thus far. You are good. And I got to meet Wade. We ain't going. I was just like, I literally just did to anyone that have met thus far. You are good. They got to me way in coin.

I was just like, I literally just did the, I'm not worthy. Your name's Wayne. Yeah. I think I said that to him. Yeah, I just, you're Wayne. It's incredible. Even though cocaine was becoming common on most sets, Bob Chin, the director of the Johnny Wad movies, knew that having drugs on set only

made porno shoots more dangerous than they already were in the legal sense. Wow, he was like, he had almost like a, like a sense of like, variety. Yes. Well, he understood. Yeah, that's. Therefore, Bob banned Coke, and that's how his relationship with John ended. One day, Bob caught John on set with Coke and flushed it down the toilet. John therefore refused to work. And from that point on, Bob refused to work with John at all. And of course, that is the point where John's life began to rapidly slide downhill. I mean, it's not even sliding downhill. This is when John Holmes fell off the cliff. Yeah, there

was no, there was no grads. No, he had no, so the technically the safety net that was keeping him air quotes kind of saying was porn. Yes. And it was trying. And he was trying to make it say for him because he understood, oh, we're cruising for a fucking brew. This train is going to a wall. And this guy and we so he did the good thing. He did the thing where he said, I'm going to stop this for you. I'm going to try to stop it for you. And then he said, no, he decided he knew better because now he's Johnny what? He's not John Holmes anymore. Well, pretty soon, John and his underage living girlfriend, Don were doing coke two to three times a week, starting off.

But that developed into an all day, every day free-basing habit, which is just put it lightly, the least cost effective way to do cocaine. Warren Buffett would never do cocaine that way. Not diversified enough. Yeah. Now, free-base cocaine is similar to crack, but it's actually far more potent. Okay. In those days, free-base users cut cocaine into crystals themselves using a heat source

water and baking soda. No, it's in burner. Is it like, it's basically smoking cocaine, right? In a way, like, yeah. People used to do that, but they're cigarette in a bag or something and smoke it like that. Oh yeah, and then famously, that was like, you know, I forgot the chronic, that believes what we called it back

in the day when someone would put cocaine on a blunt. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, as far as John's setup went. You're like, is that my, is that true? Do I not sound like an undercover police officer? Is it the most stash? I have heard of this chronic, you speak.

I'm here for the chronic. Do you guys have chronic? Well, as far as John's set up went, he was never seen without a Samsonite suitcase, which contained what we would today call a crack pipe. Plus baking soda, a peachy dish and lots of cocaine in addition to a bottle of one 51 and cotton swabs for lighting the pipe, because this is before the days of the butane lighters. Just see Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumb or opening up and be like, you must be a scientist.

He puts an IOU in there. IOU for $100,000 worth of cocaine. You can win. He puts an IOU in there. So IOU for $100,000 worth of cocaine. You can win a game. So from a gram of cocaine, John could get four or five hits of free base. That's it.

That's it. That's it. That's like going to the high stakes slot machines, put it a hundred bucks and hitting it one time. He'd be like, God dang it. Yep. Those grams cost a hundred dollars each. And then in 1978, he'd be burning money.

Yeah. He was free basing every 10 to 15 minutes. His fucking free-basing habit cost him the modern equivalent of $8,000 a day. Holy fuck, every penny. I mean, that is, wow, that's a lot. But of course, the more John Free-Based, the more erratic he became on sets,

and the less his dick worked. Oh, yeah. By 1978, he'd gone from proudly being the most reliable performer in the industry to a glassy eyed gaunt mess who would get caught rifling through drawers on sets for something to steal and sell for more cocaine. Huh. So he's really hitting rock bottom here. Yeah.

Around this time. It's already like it went right to the fucking sea floor. Yeah, he never should have started that to cocaine. I don't think so. So around this time, the Holmes filmed his infamous quote unquote, documentary about his own life. It's called exhausted. Oh my God, it's such a cry for help.

Yeah. Yes. And Holmes is so out of his mind high that he barely remembered where he was or what he was supposed to be doing. Here's one highly cooked up clip. You made love to 14,000 women. One would tend to wonder how you stimulate your thoughts to make clubs to another one. A happy gardener is one with dirty fingernails and a happy cook is a fat cook.

I, I never get tired of what I do because I'm a sex plan. I really enjoy what I'm, I'm very lusty. You can tell he's lying. You can tell that he, he has it felt the, he has it felt his own cock in so long that he's just, yeah, he's on, that's cocaine. No, it's definitely hollow wide. No, it's the scene in Boogie Nights where he's sitting there like jerking off for 30 minutes in the bathroom, like trying to get it up because the cocaine is just absolutely killed.

I hope you're not in the middle of trying to like make a child. You know, I mean, like, I don't know if I've listened to, well, they do that. Just like understand, I got it. Cause it's like, it's just not sexy. No, it's not sexy at all. And that's a bit... It's weird that he says that he was so excited for it because the name of the thing is exhausted.

He looks exhausted. The words don't match up. No, not at all. And at this point, nobody works with him at all. He's out of the film business. Now, at the height of his fame, John Holmes was making the modern equivalent of $3 million

a year. But by the late 70s, he was reduced to breaking in the cars, ransacking the houses of old friends, charging appliances to his wife's credit card, then selling them for cash, and most pathetically stealing luggage from L.A.X. This is one of the weirdest scams I'd ever heard of that he would just go to L.A.X. Pull bags off a carousel and then take it to pawn shops and just sell all the shit. Walk out the novel that John Waters just wrote, Liarmouth, which is just fucking incredible.

That's what it's about. It's about a woman who steals luggage from airports. That's interesting. So still do that. Oh, yeah. So fucking good. He's going to make it. He's going to finally return to filmmaking.

He's going to make it into a movie. You can't fucking away. I can't wait. Oh, yeah. So fucking good. He's going to make it. He's good. Finally, returning to filmmaking. He's going to make it to a movie. Yeah. Can't fuck away. I can't wait. That's great. All right. Yeah. And that's the thing, man. I mean, at the height of his fame, $3 million a year. So at one point, he could have had conceivably $67 million in the bank in today's money, eight grand a day in free basis. Yeah. And he, yeah. And it's just by 1978, 1979. It's fucking gone. John's cocaine fuel paranoia was also getting out of control. See, at this time, the hillside strangler murders were in full swing, which is like makes it so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Canifers out there doing this shit. So you know that like, so the high paranoia is coming from somewhere. Yeah, and they were dumping bodies like around John Holmes' cottage in Glendale. Yeah, and I must ask for the audience and myself, Manson family. What are they?

Who's 69? That was before. Okay. They're not around you. There's like a decade out there. Okay. Yeah. And so John started carrying around a 357 magnum everywhere he went just in case.

And you know who knows how to use guns better than anybody else, an actor, especially a born actor. Ascolic Baldwin. And there porn actor. Ask Alec Baldwin. And there has never been a more powerful act. She's the way. No, when a drug habit gets to be as bad as John's, the addict will inevitably become well known to their dealer. Perhaps you may even become friends

if you're just buying like weed or shrooms. You get friendly with the guy. Yeah, they get to know you. Yeah, of course. But a guy who deals weed is an entirely different animal from a guy who deals co. Yes. And when a person becomes close to their coke dealer, it's almost inevitable that they're also going to get caught up in the coke game.

You know what? Have a coffee. Have a coffee. Have a. Moth man blend. Yeah. This is a good plug. That's a good plug.

Yeah. It's a good plug. It's a good plug. Yeah, it's a good plug. It's a great. That's great. Now put it away. Yeah. Have a cold brew free based. Math man coffee anytime fantastic idea. Now when it came to John home and also you're welcome for the free ad. What a great ad it was. Yeah. Math man coffee from Spring Hill Jack Spring Hill Jack dot. If you're thinking about, yeah, yeah, if you're thinking about it, just cough, just coffee. Now when it came to John Holmes, his addiction was so bad that he had two sources and both were equally scuzzy. The first was a group of heroin addicts known as the Wonderland game. So named because they lived at 87 63 Wonderland Avenue in Laurel Canyon right in between the San Fernando Valley

and Hollywood. It's like 20 minutes from where we are. Seriously. That's a beautiful, sad, Fernando. Yeah. Now in the late 60s, before all of this shit, Laurel Canyon was what people think of when they imagined the music scene of the time to be in Los Angeles. Oh yeah.

Graham Nash and David Crosby are hanging out at Mama Cass's place. Yeah. Joni Mitchell's looking out of her dining room window, seeing naked girls floating in Frank Zappas duck pie. Doni. I mean the yellow snow. Fuck it. That's fine. I just hit all the brown. All the brown snow. I ain't all the shit on top of the set. Yeah. Well, that's the iconic. That's the 70s or 16. That's what you want. I mean, just hang out with Joni Mitchell and that. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's great. It's Laurel Canyon this time period are fucking insane. Well, the fact that it was a giant remote outpost of the CIA that was using the counterculture

movement in the 1960s to proliferate acid in order to discredit them and destroy the heavy movement. I thought you said conspiracy theory. That's just a straight up fact. Yeah. No, it goes. There's old man named Dave McGowan. Oh, yeah.

That's got a whole book about it. Oh, yeah, we did it in our live show. Not too long ago. We did. Fascinating stuff. It's bullshit. Fascinating stuff. It's bullshit. Oh, it's fascinating stuff. It's a bunch of lies just like all of his works.

Oh, it looks like words to me. Those are words that I heard. Well, during this idyllic time back in the late 60s, before all the shit we're talking about now, 87, 63 Wonderland Avenue, where the wonderland murders happen. And it actually been occupied by none other than Paul Revere in the Raiders. What? Yeah. This is a, this is a note of this. That's the markets. That's that. You know what? No, these are the, this is Paul the garage. I know where the rate. Yeah, they did the best version of Steppenstone outside of

minor threat. Yeah. I mean, awesome. They're fucking great. Okay. But by 1978, about 10 years later, 87 63 Wonderland Avenue was an eye sore and an otherwise nice neighborhood. Paint cracked and rust stained, caged behind iron bars, and guarded by two pit bulls on the front steps. Now, when the house was flush with cocaine and heroin, traffic would actually build up outside when the house was flush with cocaine and heroin, traffic would actually build up outside of the house as dealers threw down bags of dope to every type of car from

beat up Volkswagen's to Rolls-Royce's. Somehow, however, would come inside the party. But Wonderland was one of those dark party houses, the kind that you immediately regret stepping into the moment you arrive, but somehow find that extrication is impossible for at minimum two to three harrowing hours. Just you nursing a warm beer, watching some like a bunch of people kind of dance with all the doors open. Yeah, it's dogs barking and everybody's like mad, there's some guy going like you don't understand. and everybody's like mad, there's some guy going like, you don't understand. Like, it's not a small scent of urine. Yeah.

No, there's a guy that's talking to you way too close. You and me, man. Yeah. You and me, man, we get it. Those guys, those guys over there, man, they don't fucking get it. But that's kind of the trap because then you have to do drugs to make it seem okay.

We were here because you're like, you're like, you're bust or Keaton and a whirlwind in sanity. You can't look like a cop. Yeah, yeah, it's hardwood floors, but it's only hardwood floors because they had to pull up the carpet for some reason that they're not going to tell you about or they tell you all about it and you wish they hadn't.

Because now you're a part of it. Yeah, truly. Texas full of all kinds of wonderful places. Oh, it is. I mean, don't worry. We spend our time in Florida. You know, that's all that. Now Wonderland was rented by a woman named Joy Miller, who shared the place with her boyfriend, Billy DeVrole. DeVrole was a 42 year old heroin addict with a long record who was described

as looking like the kind of guy you'd find in an El Paso dive bar. Big hat, big buckle. Yeah, strong legs. I'm going into his boots. I guess his boots. I don't know. No, it's not he's not a cowboy. No, it's just rough and tumble. Yeah, rough man. Okay.

Also living there was another heroin addict and accused multiple murderer named Ronnie Lonious 37. Lonious was a Vietnam veteran who'd been dishonorably discharged and jailed for smuggling heroin back to America in the body bags of dead servicemen. I'm a real piece of shit. Holy hell, that's crazy. Ronny, everybody hates me. I have a piece of shit.

You ever get fired from a murdering squad? That's what I was like, what you got to do to get dishonorably discharged from knob. Ronnie had also been charged with killing a police informant, but the charges were dropped when the prosecution's key witness was killed in a shootout with the police. And that's called mercury and just getting out of metric. Yeah, that is a, that's interesting. Ron's propensity for murder in the pursuit of crime was so great that at the time of his death, he was linked to almost 30 open homicide cases all over California.

Is it a serial killer? No, no, no, no, I'm just a terminal. I'm a professional person of interest. How many bodies? So it's kind of my gig. Yeah, it's my thing attached to 30 people who happen to die. No, he's not a serial killer. He's a person who has no problem killing in the pursuit of crime. Yes. He's a mass murderer. Yeah, he's a crazy person. He's a big professional person.

Oh, no. And bad person. Yes. Yes, and he has a, I know it's not person hairs. It's not person hairs. So does he kill 30 people? Did he kill 30 people?

But he did not do so out of a compulsion or out of a sexual compulsion. You're talking about a, this is a long FBI conversation. It's true. It's interesting. Well, as far as how Ron Launius spent his time in Wonderland, you could usually find him on a lot of heroin sharpening his massive and ever growing knife collection. Oh, yeah.

The knife collection. Always kind of boring. Yeah. Amen, Ronnie. People call you aggressive these days. Have we thought about like Lego? Lego. Yes.

We get in there. Maybe a software getting to baking. Oh, my knife collection. I got the Lego Nintendo set over the break and it's so much fun. See, that's fun. It's really fun. It's really good. It's better than a giant growing knife collection and being in a center of a web of

murder and deceit. I have an heaven knife collection. I had a knife collection. I's really good. It's better than a giant growing knife collection and being in the center of a web of murder and deceit. I didn't have an knife collection. I had a knife collection. I brought it down. I decided it wasn't the best thing to have around. Yeah. It did, you know, people get nervous when they walk in your house. You learn a bunch of knives. It depends on you. Keep them. Yeah. They were just around. They were a nice display, like a big flower of knives. That's kind of nice. The bouquet of knives. Yes, well, that's good, Marcus. I'm happy that you realize the people were scared and they walked into your home and decided to de-escalate the knives.

You have a very warm home. Thank you. Of course he does. Thank you. Yeah, we cultivate our home to be a warm home. Physically warm. Yeah. Yeah, very physically warm.

Yeah. Well, they're a cold people. They're a cold people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, our, um, even if it's 100 degrees outside, our thermostat never goes below 78. Well, you do a good job of doing that for the rest of us. He does a good job of letting us speak. Yeah. I, we turn it down when people come over, we turn it down and put on hoodies. Yeah. Mama. Yeah. That's a hot house. Yes. I love, I love the climate out here. Yes. Wonderful. Hey, good. They're. Wow. Shocking news. LA has good weather. It's

nice. Good for us lizard people. Well, Ronnie Lonious also had a stint as an actor. He had a walk-on roll in his solvester Stallone movie. That's not it. So did my father. I told you my father got cut out a daybreak. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. He line to slide was, hey, hey, don't go in that. That's incredible. But they didn't let Ron act anymore because he stole like half the props on the set. Hey, hey, listen, we have a conversation about this run. Yeah. And these were the people that John Holmes was associating with every single day. There's just a bunch of crooks and thieves, felons, murderers, murderers, murderers. Yeah, murderers.

Now, the Wonderland gang liked having John Holmes around the house because his presence made the party kind of cool. And also Ron liked to force John to pull out his dick and show to everyone at the party, which John didn't always want to do, but always did anyway. He became your like, gestor. And this sort of whole of crazy people. Yeah. And it would be that sort of very aggressive like John,

pull out your dick. Show me, people, you're fucking cock man. Right. Just, yeah, just suck. Shitty shit all the routes. Yes. See by this point in time, when John Holmes started spending a lot of time at Wonderland,

he was effectively homeless. He had left Sharon in the cottage behind. He took his underage girlfriend with Sharon's beat up Chevy Malibu. And when they couldn't afford a cheap motel room, they just slept in the fucking car. I mean, from millionaire to sleeping in the car in like two years. Yeah. Okay.

And so to help pay for both his habit and dawns, John became a cocaine and heroin delivery boy for the Wonderland game. I'm gonna just say this isn't no to the audience. If you're at one of these cruxes, it's never a necessarily good idea to double down on the cocaine, like business part of it.

You're losing that, relax, just stand up and go. It's all right. You gotta break the cycle. Let's just say that free basing cocaine has an effect on your decision-making skills. We're going to be that next episode's entire theme. Yes. And be very careful out there. And also, if you do do those sorts of things, get a tester because this fence and all things are very dangerous.

I still feel like free basing cocaine is a bit too far. I'll never recommend it. I'm not recommending. Be safe, please. Co-named Betty Crocker because of the cook kit he carried everywhere. John, they're also cool. They're also full. Oh, shit. I hate cocaine people.

Yeah. It's Betty fucking cracker and it's or Betty coaker. Just come on. Get better with it. John had to earn $1,000 a day to pay for a single nugget-sized rock. He could free base. While he was out on these runs gone for hours or sometimes days, he'd leave done in the Chevy Malibu with their Chihuahua Thor. I mean, I do like that. I do like that.

It's a key neighbor. I'm going to do it with this. Yeah, he did. The Chihuahua. So I love that neighbor Chihuahua. Well, he treated this girl like shit,. I love that day for a show. We treated this girl like shit though. He treated her. He treated her.

He'd leave her a can. As soda cans, like, yeah, you can piss in this. Yeah. Yeah. And every once in a while, he'd come back with a free base, rock, if he thought to bring one. But even though John was constantly committing sloppy felonies on a daily basis, his connections to the LAPD vice squad as an informant kept him out of jail

for the time being. So he really had no reason to be careful. But is there any indication that the LAPD was, do they ever give him trucks? No, it is. He's with the pornography section of the vice squad. Yeah, they don't know because he's using his porno connections and all the yet. They're just busting porno. They're not talking about the drugs. I suppose some people making movies. Yeah, they don't know because he's using his porno connections and all the yet. They're just busting porno. They're not talking about the drugs. I see. So those busting people making movies. Yeah, that's a whole different wing. And it's also very possible. I mean, it's just like any of these, it's just like any fucking police organization. It's possible that the porno vice squad kept John away from the drug vice squad because like, no, no, he's our informant. You can't bust him. We need him for porno.

You can't have him for drugs. Because he wasn't good at crying. Did he think at all that he was under, like, did he fantasize about being undercover? Yes. And so did he, maybe just like, I'm just doing this part of my, did he like think he was a character? Because it seems like he is like, it seems like he disassociates himself almost. He's just a giant asshole.

Right. He's a massive asshole and a huge drug addict. I mean, he's just a massive co-head. No, the thought process has gone. Yeah. Okay. Now, when John Holmes wasn't earning cocaine by making runs for the Wonderland gang, he bought cocaine from a lunatic named Eddie Nash, which me mentioned earlier.

The guy that offer Malina's based on loves Jesse's girl. And while Eddie Nash was not quite as scuzzy as the crew at Wonderland, he was nevertheless just as dangerous, just as unpredictable and just as murderous. Probably more so. Yes. Oh my. John Holmes would soon find that his recklessness, addiction, and cowardice would all come crashing together in a bloody mess involving both Eddie Nash and the Wonderland gang. And that is where we'll pick back up for part two of John Holmes and the Wonderland murders. Man, we learned a lot. It's very interesting to hear the history of it and where he comes

from, kind of see what this fucker is because then next week you're going to kind of see like, because the jury's still out on this entire crime. Yeah. No one was ever convicted. You said no. Now convicted. This is a, this is I think maybe the first time we've ever covered a story. Well, I like that. It's, well, it is. How do you put it? Solved. We know. Yeah. Who did it? It's, it's solved. We know who did it. Uh, but there's just, there just wasn't enough evidence that there were two different trials trying to convict people of these murders and both of them led to acquittals. It's a whole thing. But it will get us in on packet.

We can't wait to figure out. I want to do a new thing. I want to introduce people to this thing because I forgot to promote it. And I want people to go to it. So in Atlanta, I am hosting a dinner at an incredible restaurant called Amatsa. It's on October 11th.

It's called the Donner Party. We're going to have an extremely awesome, this chef is making a bunch of high-end food in the shape of human body parts. Okay, and we're certain they're not human body parts. They are, I mean, I don't know. I actually don't know. Oh, right.

They were from up there before we get out of here. Oh, right. And no dogs in space is back this week. We got a new series that started up. We start off with an introduction to Crout Rock for all those of you who don't know anything about it. And then we're moving on to one of the coolest heaviest psych bands out there,

Oman Dull II in the same episode. Awesome. Well, thank you all so much for supporting all the shows here in the last podcast network. Oh, and check out murder fest We got new dates 922. We've added to show with dynasty typewriter come check it out All right. Well, thank you all so much for supporting the network. We appreciate you. Hail yourself. Hail Say to me. I'm a

Foccos I'm a you'll focus. Oh, and don't forget to watch our twitch channel this Monday for the return of the no dogs in space stream Twitch channel this Monday for the return of the No Dogs in Space stream. We're going to be doing a record haul, going to be talking about the Flaming Lips concert that we went to a couple of weeks ago, showing a couple of clips from that and just having generally good music nerd time. That's twitch.tv slash last podcast network. That is Monday at 7 p.m. PST. They say don't meet your heroes, but everyone with the flaming lips,

they were so unbelievably incredible. And so, and Marcus, thank you and Carolina for your great work on No Ducks. Thank you. Bye! Thanks. Thanks. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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