Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 552: Madame LaLaurie Part I - The Lady of the House

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

This week Marcus, Henry, and Ed dig into historical "gold star" territory with the brutally sadistic tale of New Orleans' monstrous Madame LaLaurie and the backstory of one of America's most notoriously haunted locations, The LaLaurie Mansion.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left. That's one of the cannibalism started. What was that? Man, it was so funny yesterday I had Rambo here and The we left the garage door open by accident. I'm like where the hell's Rambo? And then I look and then he's just like found he found out how to get himself trapped and look in like underneath a desk surrounded by wires I'll even know how he got it Just like sitting there wagging his tail

Like all proud of himself get back Okay, here we go. Let me try to, I gotta get in this. I gotta get in the mode. All right, it's so hard, right? Because do we have any frog noises? I actually really would help. If we have like, is there a swamp scape

that we can maybe hit here? You know what I mean? There's gotta be something we can overlay. It'll like, yeah, walk down that house. That now, oh, you could do the porn on the Bayou Entry, man. Yeah, I feel like that is we're gonna have to pay money. Yeah, 20 seconds. We got something.

There we go. Or at least like a friar going something like that. Shh. You're about to hear the town now, oh, madom, lalo, reek. You need to think about what it means through the history of ghosts and New Orleans itself. You get out there and you get down greater for a little, um, fly out of the mouth, little, that dark oil.

Keep guys spooky. I'm like, ooh, it's a Reed. There's a sharp grass on them, yeah. Now they watch you. What are you thinking? No. Let's down to get on the lab. Hulk. Hell. I want to lay out.

That's right. That's exactly right. Yeah. So now because you see, well, you were going. This is last podcast on the left on Marcus Parks. That's Henry Zabraski with. I'm at Austin now. See?

No, no, no, no. I'm watching that now. Do you all go more for like the like the salt of the earth's Louisiana? No, no, no, no, no, no. Watch out that now. Do y'all go more for like the, like the salt of the earth's Louisiana? Oh yeah. Yeah. On this episode, we're gonna be dealing with the upper crusts.

Oh, Louisiana. Oh, Louisiana. Yeah. The people always sound like they're about to push out a fart. It's a little bit of a fart. I was called in the edge, my real. I'm all over furniture furniture smashin' out.

Oh, you're smart. No, I'm doing my jewelry, yeah. I'm doing my joy, laundry voice. If you ever watch any joy, laundry or follow them on Instagram, no, it's like, I find it's called swamp monsters. Fuck yeah. And it's used to them going like, not the big gator, no?

That's it. The whole thing about how he goes out to the haunted swamps and how scary the swamps are, the sw gator now. That's it. The whole thing about how he goes out to the haunted swamps and how scary the swamps are, the swamps are scary. No, but mostly just big, big animals. Well, the reason why we're talking about swamps and Louisiana, is because we got a special Halloween episode for you today.

We're gonna finally cover the story of Madame Delphine, La Lorie. Miss La Lorie? La Lorie. Miss La Lorie? La Lorie. This is a one of those subsets. It is subsets. Highly upsetting. It's a historical gold star episode.

Also, this is, I would say, in true last podcast in the left fashion, I feel like our ghost stories always go one way or the other. They either go a series of like, you know, or exorcisms which are incredibly sad. Yeah. It's in the whole sad ghost sightings haunted houses which are largely debunked, but have like fun little episodes within and we got like silly little characters and investigators. That's the story there.

That's the story. But then this is one where as soon as you pop the top of this story, you see, oh, actually, this is a true crime story. Yes. And it's very close to the, uh, to the Amityville horror story where this is like not only other, you know, the ghost stories are one thing, but the creepiest part is the bitch at the center. Yeah.

The reality of the whole thing. Yes. Yeah. Well, Madame Darfine La Lorie is one of the most enduring figures in the realm of American paranormal phenomena. However, La Lorie is not infamous just because she herself haunts her former home or rather isn't the only one who haunts it. I will be back.

Go there. That's a close as I'm going to do to him and I'm La Lorie. I don't think I'm going to attempt to do it often. I don't know. I liked it. I don't know. I'm going to the house. I don't know, I liked it. I do not need to go into the house. I don't know, I'm gonna see.

We'll see what pops up. Stand of approval. Excellent. Well, rather, La La Rie is notorious because she herself created all the other ghosts. Think about how much industry that has led to in the New Orleans area ever since. My God, so many ghost tours

What would these ghost tours do if they didn't have the Lollolary mansion to end on hey hey They're good reason but Dom Delphine Lollolary was a wealthy resident of the French quarter in New Orleans who committed heinous crimes in Antibela, America Crime so foul that her evil deeds seem to have rooted themselves in the very soil on which her former mansion stands. I, we so again, up top. This is not an objective podcast. We don't believe in objectivity.

I think it's dumb. We are taking this side because of the research that we have done, especially the two main sources that we have kind of used here, which is one which is great. Madame La Lauri, mistress of the haunted house, is that we are siding on the fact that we believe that these stories are true about her,

or at least to some degree. To some degree, yes. Now, this isn't one of those, like there are certain stories like Elizabeth Bathory, where we have no clue whether or not this woman actually bathed in the blood of versions or anything like that. It would have been like cooler if she did. Yeah.

But with Madame La La Rie, there is so much evidence to support the horrible, horrible stories that are said, you know, about us. So she's a bee and a sea. A beach and a cut. Yes. I'm going to be a gentleman here. No, no, no, there's no oil. Guess what?

It's Madame La La Rie. We don't have to be a gentleman here. No, no, there's no oil. Guess what? It's Madame Lollore. We don't have to be a gentleman with that. That's what the fuck in rich can't. Ha ha ha ha ha. Specifically, Madame Lollore was a torturer and murderer who exclusively targeted the enslaved people who involuntarily served her and her family. And did so in a half-heading torture chamber

right next to the servant's quarters within her mansion at 1140 Royal Street. Beautiful street, beautiful house. It is. It's foreboding. Yeah. La Laurie's motivations for such crimes, however, are still somewhat of a mystery to this day.

Or at the very least, they don't have a neat explanation like many ghost stories do. Because again, this really is, it's a true crime story, it's a ghost story, it's a history story, it's all that wrapped up in a one. Some legends say that Lallori's parents were killed in a slave uprising decades prior, and she avenged their deaths by torturing and killing the closest approximations at hand. Much like a serial killer will choose a type based on a personal hatred or betrayal, which is mostly a time we know that that is mostly not true either. Also, he's considered a serial killer, right?

I know. No. I don't know. It's a, she lives in a very strange section of, you know, murderer crime. We've got to just straight up crime. Yeah. Against humanity. But the slave uprising is but one of the myths surrounding Madame la laerie.

Honestly, sometimes I think of her. She's closer to a mangola. Yeah. You know, most likely she tortured and killed the enslaved people in her thrall for the same reason most serial killers torture and kill people. She was a sadist who derived pleasure from the act, and she had a steady supply of vulnerable victims that the authorities couldn't have cared less about.

So yeah, I think she was a little closer to a serial killer. Yeah. In Madame Nala Ries case, her victims could literally be delivered to her house to do with whatever she wished, although as we'll see, there were even limits to what most people would accept within the foul institution of American slavery.

And we'll see, and this is our opportunity right now to say straight up, up top. We're not into it. Not into it. I don't approve of slavery. My family was in Poland. Me, you man, we dropped it in the fucking 1925 Staten Island, baby.

I had nothing to do with this. I'm gonna bleed the fifth. I'm gonna bleed the fifth. I'm gonna bleed the fifth. Go ahead and bleed a bit. Come on, baby. Be the big fifth right now. Now, while most serial killer dens, like John Wayne Gacy's home and Desplanes and Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment building in Milwaukee, those were torn down after it was discovered that the structures were true houses of horror.

But Madame La Laurie's home is still standing in the French corner. Oh, yeah. Like a big scary guy with loaded pants. Like it really does feel like, and again, it's because you know the story, but as you walk past that place, man, it does feel like it's just, it just looms. Yeah. Get loom because it's bigger than any other house on the block.

Yeah. And then he used to have the Verdi Mart Across the street, which was like the best fucking Poe Boy sandwich spot in the entire city And then several times I had had big sloppy shrimp poe boys sitting on that corner just staring at that house for hours at a time Yeah, yeah, well the house has been renovated many times over since Badam Lalo Rhee's day, the bones of her mansion remain the same. The bone! The pain and suffering inflicted within these walls have soaked the home with so much paranormal energy that even standing across the street can fill you with a sense of dread and terror.

In fact, many people in the paranormal community in New Orleans, which is, oh, it's thick as hell. They wouldn't even enter the lorry mansion if they could for fear that the energies contained therein might prove too much to bear. And that's why we also big shout out always the French quarter phantoms, which is still probably the platinum tier of ghost tours that I have taken across the United States of America. Hey, you're fucking great. But those guys know how to tell a story, especially about the Lollary mansion because we pressed

I was like, I got to go in there. Like what can we do? I try to be like, let's figure it out. And the guy fucking just straight up said, absolutely not. Like I don't go. Yeah, don't go. Yeah, don't go. Well, no one can go in there. Well, I have had, there are, you know,

the one of the authors of these books, I believe it was the Carolyn Morrow, she did get to go inside and people have fucking, oh, Jack Osborne went inside. Of course he did. Have you listened to his fucking? Have you watched his portal to Hell Show? No, who gives a shit?

I mean, not to, I guess not to, I guess we, I don't know if we're ever gonna run into him, but it's just the show is, I don't know why, why do they keep giving him paranormal shows? Just like, just go live, do anything else. Yeah. It's your hats boring.

Yeah. He's a prince of darkness. He's not though, it's father is. He's a dude's the king now, right? Well, you know, he's high. He's just very, I mean, eventually he's gonna have to Ozzy has to become the king at some point. I don't think, I, you know what? I think Prince is kind of fun because you don't have to all the responsibility. It's love paperwork. Yeah. Maybe Jack Osborne is like a duke of shade. Yeah, duke of duke of

fucking poo poo. Yeah. Sparkin' at the moon. Honestly though, if you have an offer for a shack, we'll take it. Yeah. Yeah. Now before we get into the ghost stories, as well as the facts and myths behind Madame LaLaurie, let's acknowledge our sources today.

The first is Madame LaLaurie, mistress of the haunted house by Carolyn Moro, while the second is mad mad emlaury yeah like a fucking wrestling man man emlaur you got it you got boi yo twat it's just got like a fucking two by four yeah fuck a tag team with King Kong bondi

yeah big fucking oh it's by Victoria Cosner Love and we also borrowed a couple of ghost stories from the website a tag team with King Kong Bundy. Yeah. Big fucking. Yeah. God. That was by Victoria Cawzner Love. And we also borrowed a couple of ghost stories from the website for ghost city tours in the Orleans. But while our first book is more dry, it's dry. It is dry. Not what Marcus was talking about that.

I'll tell you that. Is it the tears? I was very like, I read this book. You know what I appreciate about the book is that it goes example by example Why we know the things that we know to be sure and not sure but it is a fucking slog. Yeah But it's far more reliable when it comes to the actual history behind Madame La La Rie However while the myths are legion the truth is still a harrowing and fascinating tale. Because the exaggerations of the fake version of the story, like kind of like, you're like, ah, all right,

that's how I kind of feel reading it. But the fact that the shit that we know that happened happened is, it's bad enough. Oh yeah. Now, a few people are allowed within the La Laerie home today because it's been a private residence for decades. But as I said, even those who stand on the Noirling sidewalks outside of the La Lorie mansion report dizziness, nausea, chills and feelings of anxiety. Well, they're just not used to eating all that thick food.

That's being in and they've been in those all these cream sauces. Oh, yeah. I'm lacking for miles. Yeah. And they put it on his cream sauce. Oh yeah, I'm not gonna fucking call you. Yeah, I went, I had meat in all day. Was I hungover? Yes. But I, it was creepy. It's creepy.

It's not creepy. Dude, it's creepy as fuck you go over there, you know. Yeah, I mean, when we visited the Lollary Mansion years ago, just looking into the vestibule, gave me the feeling that I was staring into the gaping mob of some earthly hell. The only feeling I could compare it to, it was like when we visited Auschwitz,

it's like it's staring into a place of pain. Yeah, two. And misery, like it just fucking emanates from it. Two out of five stars. What, Auschwitz? Yeah. Yeah, not fun. Well, you know, you know, Dr. Mangler,

he puts the owl in Auschwitz. Well, you know, you know, you know, Dr. Mangala, he puts the out and out shwits. What do you think? Accurate. Correct. Correct. Very accurate. Just the truth, just the truth. Hidden inside the yuck.

Well, according to those who have been inside the house, moaning can be heard from the room where Lalloye committed her tortures. The chains that are servants were forced to wear constantly can be heard dragging through the home and phantom footsteps follow you everywhere. Concerning the standard paranormal fare, the area where Lalloye's chamber of horrors was located

is said to sometimes admit the rank odor of rotten meat often associated with particularly strong hauntings and a dark heavy energy persists almost 200 years after Lollaree's reign of terror ended. You know, if it's gonna be anywhere, this is one of those places. If there's gonna be ghosts, if ghosts exist, this is where they are. It's a spot. It's like here in like castles. Yeah. Yes. But while all those paranormal experiences obviously come from the victims, it's said that the house is also haunted by Madame Lollary herself. She built that place hand by hand, brick by brick. Or she, I mean, she had people, she had people, a spirit medium

who was let into the house in 2005 claim that Lollary's spirit pervades the entire block as if she's still trying to keep control over her domain. You keep yelling now. You keep yelling. That's a close. I gotta get going too deep. Go and go in deep, tell me. Okay. Say I'm a drunken, a frat boy and I'm a, from wandering off in the French quarter and I'm looking at madame, Lalo Ries house. You go kick, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm hearing.

I mean, you don't get it. You go kick, yeah, yeah, yeah. As far as the hauntings of Lalo Riego, the house was briefly converted into an all-girls school exclusively for black children up to the age of eight during the reconstruction era. That idea. To put it there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's bad. You remember, we'll kind of go into why that happened because there was a period of time where there was a, they tried to kind of dispel the rumors about the house and even the story itself for a period of time.

And I do think that these had owners that bought it and turned it to sort of a giant almost hospital like a silent like building. But despite knowing nothing of the buildings past, the girls would often come to their teachers with mysterious scratches and bruises. And when the children were asked who did this, their answer was invariably that woman. Not good, that's horrible. Now there are some who say that the ghosts of the enslaved people have long since moved on, and the only spirit that remains is that of the evil Madame Lollary.

But others say that the spirits of the enslaved stay to torture Lollary herself and to ensure that Madame Lollaryary spirit never leaves 1140 Royal Street. Because it's one of those because she didn't die in the house. No. So I, but I can see the imprint of it, maybe being a thing. Ah, but Abraham Lincoln did not die in the White House. No. Did he?

No. I think he did. I think he did. He died because he died like two days later. He did a death trigger. Yeah, but I thought he died in like a crispy cream. Where did Abraham Lincoln die? Put it up.

Yeah, it didn't say Peterson house washing DC. So it wasn't the main house. Yeah, but, ah. Ah. Ah. But does not Abraham Lincoln on a save, haunt the White House? For at least a theater.

He's not. Yeah, he's around eights got the Lincoln bedroom. The Lincoln bedroom, yeah. Does he ha got the Lincoln bedroom. The Lincoln bedroom. Yeah. Does he haunt the Lincoln bedroom? Yeah. I've been in there. I didn't see.

We were going to do a whole episode called haunted presidents, but it was just more like, yeah, I saw Lincoln standing there. And it wasn't that's it. But he's yeah, he shows up at the Lincoln bedroom. People have said a couple of celebrities have talked about because sometimes if they are allowed to go visit Washington DC, the in the White House, they'll let them stay in the Lincoln bedroom. I think it's because Bill Clinton's got cameras in there. But like the rest of the time, the like people have multiple times, people have seen Abraham

Lincoln just hanging out. Just going, I wish I could be gay. What's sucking dick like? What's going to walk? What's going to walk? We're speed. Give me your, give me Mr. Speed. Who's going to walk? Who's going to walk? We're speed. Give me your...

Give me Mr. Speed. I'm from North Wave. The Magnum mistake, Madame Lollary was indeed evil, although the tales of her crimes had been made far more lured over the years than they truly were. But for completionist sake, here is the short version of the story, told

that the near maximum level of sensationalism. Oh, yes. It said that on April 10, 1834, Madame Lollary's mansion on Royal Street caught fire during an elegant dinner party. But when the firefighters entered the room to extinguish the blaze, they found seven enslaved people chained up in a secret room. The men were stark naked with their eyes gouged out. Their fingernails pulled off at the roots. Their lips sewn together. Their tongues sewed to their chins.

Their hands cut off and sewed to their bellies, and their joints pulled from their sockets. The women bound and chains were found with their mouths and ears crammed with ashes and chicken intestines, and some had been smeared in honey so as to attract swarms of stinging black ants. Their intestines were pulled out and knotted around their waist, and holes had been drilled into their skulls where rough stick had been used to stir their brains. Some were already dead and some were unconscious, but all had been there for months. Likewise, the room had obviously been used for the purpose of torture for years.

And this bitch was having like dinner parties? Well, this is going on. This is the again, this is the exaggerated story. This is the legend, yes. Okay. Reportedly, when the lunch. It was lunch. I get really weird. It was lunch. Never dinner.

Dinner's my time. Reportedly, when those who were still alive were carried out to receive medical treatment along with the other mutilated corpses, The crowd that had gathered for the fire were so outraged that they stormed the mansion and demolished it thoroughly. Madame La Lourie, meanwhile, had escaped soon after the fire broke out, knowing that her chamber of horrors would no doubt soon be discovered. The mansion was sold soon after, and Workman reported the moans of spirits coming from all over the house as they repaired it.

But when they finally pulled up the floorboards, they found dozens of skeletons and freshly dead bodies. The underside of the floorboards had deep scratch marks in the wood, for unbeknownst to anyone, Madame La Laurie had kept a dungeon underneath the house from which she could pluck further victims and all had starved to death because their dying bones were thought to have come from beyond the veil. Substatic? You're right.

Substatic. Yeah, I thought you were going to slow clap. You got a moly-glazy. You got a Halloween joke for us, Eddie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we bring some Halloween jokes into it. You spray it, break it up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you know how they got all the blood that rush out of the elevators and the shining? Oh, they had a carry set on top of the elevator. And this is why I'd rather this laborer. I mean, I'd rather this laborer lose. Or what is Jack Torren's drink when he's out of whiskey. What? Red rum.

That's good. That is really good. Really, really good. That's really good. That's great. Thank you. Well, there are some truths mixed in with these myths. They're surprisingly more truths than you think it would be.

They really are. But while the extent of the torture of mutilation was exaggerated to the instigree as the years went by, some of the details I mentioned are absolutely real. You'll just have to wait until the next episode to find out which are which. Got your fuckers. No, it's not like you don't have a fucking all-knowing all-seeing box and your fucking pocket at all time. I will say that is one of those things about this topic is that I love our fellow podcasters.

I love everybody else who's out there, but it is so difficult to get to the actual information it is about the story because the myths are often repeated or it's the other side, which I do understand. There's a whole debunking side of the two, which kind of muddies the waters, but those the book that we read, the main source, that is the real like the, that's got the, as much of hard, much of the hard data that could exist it has. And it points more towards it being more real than not. Now as far as the truth goes concerning Madame Lollary herself, her story is inextricably wrapped up in the history of American slavery in the Louisiana territory.

Now begins our five episode series talking about the history of slavery. No, don't worry, these three white men are not going to do that. But we're going to do a quick sum up. No, we're going to get no, we're going to get context. This is barely context in the, for the Madame Lollary story. Yes, good. You got to say something. Okay.

I'm just waving my comedian white flag. You know, being like, I say Louisiana in particular, because the laws and unwritten rules surrounding American slavery, which had a centuries long history by the time of Madame La La Rie differed from territory to territory in Antibella, America. I really didn't know that either. I didn't either. That book breaks down. Obviously, it's just one source that kind of talks about what it was like in Louisiana specifically,

but it's very, it is interesting. So where was it the worst place to be a slave? South Carolina? I have a carol. Yeah, it's like a carol. Probably guess that. Yeah, yeah, Charleston. There is like a feeling when you're in Charleston. See, that's what I fucking I did not I did not I was also not a huge fan of Charleston. I love the people in the view we can't wait to come back. 2024 when we're back there live. Yeah, it's gonna be great. But yeah, it scares the shit out of them. But Charleston has an aura. It has a heavy air. Again, it's got that feeling of like all this all provading feeling of pain and suffering. Well, that may still fucking hate, you know,

like the rifle club in Charleston, South Carolina, which is like their koanas. And it's got like a bowling alley and they all hang out. They just added the Confederate flag like great years ago. Like they just started flutting just the old ass fuckers just voted to start flying the Confederate flag. You say hate. I say they're just rooting for losers. That's the problem. And they lost. They did lose. Man, they tried to steal half the country. I don't know why people like these fuckers. I don't know. I also only mentioned the rules and laws because they played heavily into Madame La the Reese treatment of the people she enslaved. Place heavily into how her crimes were able to go on so long and why people reacted the way they

did when they discovered what she was doing. See, back then, slavery was seen as an economic necessity in colonial Louisiana, just like it was all over the South. But slave owners and slavery supporters could also conveniently point to the Old Testament to justify their great crime. And I can't wait to see the current, just, just the idea of like, you're finally, you're in court and you have the Old Testament, me like, listen, no, listen, you got to read the story. No, I fucked his son.

It all makes sense. Well, the passage from Genesis that was most often cited was a story from Noah, he of the flood. Yeah. See one day, Noah, that fucking guy, Russell Crowe. Yeah. Love the Noah movie. If you get a chance to watch it, it's a lot of fun.

The soundtrack is unbelievable. Natalie was in Noah. She was a stunt person in Noah. Really? That's fucking cool. Was she a rock monster? I see. Just they cut all the good stuff. It was a whole sci-fi movie. They cut all of this shit out. I kept the rock monsters a little bit. But yeah, they backed out. the but the but the score was just sound like it was saying Noah over and over One day Noah got drunk as he was want to do Amen. If you're of if you're a scholar of the Bible, you know that Noah got drunk a Noah was an alcohol. It's in the movie Noah then went to his tent got naked and passed out. That's a father's right. Yes Yeah, he's in the tent. Yeah, that's a father's right. Yes. Yes, in the tent.

Yeah, that's the whole point of the tent. Well, checking in on his dad, Noah's son, Ham, saw Noah quote, Ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, great name. Now he wanna have kids, so I can name one Ham. He's my son, from Jews, my daughter, Virginia. So I for interrupting you, I just said ham.

You, I know, I know, I know. I know it's just my daughter, Virginia. So I forgot to interrupt you. I just said, ham. You, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it's gonna make all you really excited. Well, no son, ham, Sod Noah, quote, in his nakedness, splaid out for all the world to see. God, that's what it is. Like, I'm down to see what my dad like. I'm down to see my dad make it.

Down. But it's, there's also a weird. I do not. No, I say, saw him make it once. It's rough. But then there are other, but you know what is I feel like in this is that he saw him with a night based hard on.

And I think that's a lot to take. Yeah, no, it was old. So you know how like when you get older, your penis gets gray. Imagine this. You know, it's probably white. Yeah, because he was like, yeah, no, I lived doing what?

800, 900. Oh, God. With that fucking long, fucking weird thick, dick look like gravity pulling it down. Yeah, further, further. Always thinking about that when they have a very old man and a porn and he's just like his balls or just look like fucking bolter, the guy from Poltergeist, the preacher. Yeah, when he was bringing him to by two, he was actually talking about his balls. A ham then went to his two brothers and said, Hey, I just saw a dad naked.

This apparently was naughty gossip, which ham's brothers didn't appreciate. So, ham's brothers went and covered up their naked drunken father without looking at his body at all. Because that's what a true son does. Mm-hmm. And so, when Noah woke up hung over, Ham's brothers told Noah that Ham had indeed gone into his tent the night before. And lo, he had indeed seen Noah's dick. My dick! And his balls.

My balls? No, according to some scholars. Not my balls. Now according to some scholars, not my balls. Pray me. Pray, pray to the sun. Please have me. He did not see my asshole. Because that is an unforgettable car because it belongs to God. According to some scholars, it was actually a serious matter in ancient Babylonia to look at another person's genitals for any reasons. I thought Babylon was supposed to be like sex all the time.

Babylon. Babylonia, I think, fuck. I don't know. I don't know. I refuse to speak confidently. Yeah. As do I. I very much.

I did not pay attention during my ancient history class. 20 years ago in college. And I think Babylon is something else, but I don't saw them Gamora is the other one. Yes, I'm good. Gamora is a different. That was the fun part of the first half of the Bible's fun, but it really jumps to shark in the sequel. That's how it always is. But the actual translation in the King James version of the Bible was that ham had quote, seen his father's nakedness which again according to some scholars Couldn't be interpreted to mean that ham had actually engaged in drunken sex with his father Oh, that's all

My algorithm hasn't gotten to there. I it is a that I've always heard I thought that was always the stories at Noah bang to sons I always heard. I thought that was always the story is it Noah banged his sons. Shaman put this into Google which kid did Noah have sex with? Yeah, you put that in the Google. But it just put much worse in the Google. Yeah, I just don't I miss gonna. I'm you heard in your first folks. I would caution against the word kids. I know I guess feel like a while I already typed daughter offspring.

Yeah, offspring. Oh wow. Yeah. Noah offsprings. I know how to get around sex. No offsprings. Screw job. I'm putting it in screwdriver. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's, yeah, it's bad. Yeah. Nothing's good. I refuse even put it. I can't put it in. Well, either way, when Noah discovered that his son had at least peaked his junk, he said, Cursed be ham, father of the land of Canaan, and Cursed be the people of Canaan, who shall hereafter be servants unto their brethren. The so-called Mark of Ham was then placed on the people of Canaan, and that Mark, slave owners, claimed, was the dark skin of the African.

Therefore, since Noah's son saw his dad's dick and Noah got all mad about it, it was totally fine to own African slaves. Wow, it was easier to be a lawyer then. Because that doesn't really, I don't, it doesn't track for me. Doesn't make much sense. No, no, no, no. That's also say you can't be gay or eat shrimp. So, yeah, I know, you're pretty face is going to hell. We talk a lot about how like if you're going to take everything literally from Leviticus,

one of the biggest crimes is wearing the mixed linens. Yeah, you know, which I love. We got to. Balliester. It's just so crazy to think that this, because then it also, it just doesn't make sense. Would Noah then be black? No, he made him black by Zaptum.

Yeah, he's Aptum. Oh well. No, God's Aptum. Yeah, God's Aptum with the Mark of's aptam. Okay. Yeah. God's aptam with the mark of ham. And then they said that's that's how they explained the difference in skin color. That's what they still that's five. I think it's fucking stupid. Yeah. Yeah. It's not the mark of ham was what you have the hyperlipidinism. Man, love it. But if you use the Bible to justify enslaving people, then you also had to follow the numerous rules laid out

in the Bible concerning the treatment of enslaved people. For example, one could not excessively punish or beat an enslaved person to death. And if one did so, the death had to be, quote unquote, avenged. That's the word the Bible used, avenged. But that avenging would only happen if the enslaved person died within two days of the beating.

If you die within three days or four days, it's probably worse. It's much worse, but you don't have to be avenged. But yeah, by God's legal system, you're cool. Yeah. And it's also quite vague on what avenged men. I think honestly, the way they terminus that you would be punished by the law. You know, that's how they used it. I mean, like if you, you know, you can't transgress because if you do, someone will, you would be punished by the law. You know, that's how they used it. It's mean like if you, you know, you can't transgress because if you do,

someone will, you will get punished. Yeah. Now that's a lot of mental gymnastics to justify a horrid practice. Yeah, it's like a hundred years of the fucking mental gymnastics to try to figure that out. Because people within the time period

that were, they were, there were plenty of people that didn't like it. Yeah. But they didn't know what the fuck did, you know, whatever. It's a whole thing. It's a whole literally history class that I'm not. I don't, I'm not prepared.

But really, the cold hard fact that most slave owners rested on was that slavery was good for the economy, or at least good for the people who enslaved others. Oh, yeah. Now, excessive cruelty of enslaved people was technically illegal, but it was mostly just a practice that was frowned upon. Furthermore,

as I said earlier, the definition of excessive cruelty and the punishments thereafter varied from location to location. In North Carolina, for instance, early statutes granted planters the right to inflict virtually unlimited violence for whatever reason. That was codified. But in the Orlean territory, the laws were a bit stricter if still ultimately toothless and subjective. Acceptable punishments for enslaved people included flocking, whipping, putting a person in irons and solitary confinement. Access to punishment, however, included mutilation and beating that went beyond normal flocking

and whipping. They also had legal parameters for the things you could use to punish someone. Like they had to be a certain length and a certain type. But it really wasn't enforced. Well, it depended on... Well, that's what you call the sheen of civilization. Is that like if they could lie to themselves and tell themselves that all of this was okay if there were rules in place of their laws?

Yes, you see, look, there's rules. Look, this is a civilization. There are rules, there are laws. We're protecting these people. Look, this is fine. One loophole to get out of it completely, however, was that these excessive punishments were usually only witnessed by other enslaved people who could not legally testify against white people for any reason. Yeah, that's the things.

All the witnesses were other people getting punished as well. Yeah. Or another guy doing the punishment as well. Yes. Yes. But in order to continue the mental gymnastics of slavery, while still including enslaved people in the law, they had to come up with a designation,

a sort of antecedent to the post of a war three-fifths compromise. In slave people were referred to in the law as passive beings, which was meant to describe an entity that fit between a free person and a thing that was owned by a free person. Therefore enslaved people could be codified into the law without the law acknowledging them as actual people. Now while Madame Nautilary's tortures were exaggerated over the years, there were slavers who engaged

in equally bizarre punishments. According to a formerly enslaved man named Moses Roper, his slaver in South Carolina devised a punishment involving a hogs head. This one fucks me up. This is like one of those like reads out of a Rob Zombie movie. Yeah. I'll get a joke ready. Yeah, yeah, good.

Good. Get you, think a good one. Yeah. I'll get a joke ready. Yeah, good. Good. Get you think a good one. Yeah. According to the story, this sadist drove nails into a hollowed out hogs head and forced enslaved people to wear it when they got in trouble. They would then be rolled down along in steep hill. So the hogs had nails would puncture their face and head all the way down. They would then be rolled down along and steep hill,

so the hogs' head nails would puncture their face and head. In another punishment, straight out of a nightmare, a fugitive named John Brown said that his slave would suspend people by their hands above sharpened stakes that were just high enough so as to force the person to hold themselves up to avoid being stabbed. But once their arms gave out, they'd fall down upon the spikes which would pierce their feet to the bone. The victim would then be whipped until their backs were jelly and the wounds would be rubbed

with red pepper and salt. Eddie? I feel like I'm getting hazed. Yeah, it is. This isn't emotionalizing, is. This is an emotional azing. Yeah, this is your function. All right, so now you come in. You make it silly.

Yeah, you figure out, you know, you dig deep. Get, get, give us a, a short chart. All right, how do you know if the ghost in your house died in high school? Now, it smells like teen spirit. You know what? It's not bad. That's great. I really like that. That's not bad. It's not bad at all. Yeah. But in New Orleans, such actions could technically

result in a judge issuing a decree that the planter had to sell everyone under his thrall, presuming guilt, if the enslaved was a clear victim of excessive abuse. They did actually have a thing. It was like, oh, we don't need a witness. This person's obviously been abused, or at least that's how it was supposed to work. Well, that's also what's fucked up, too. It was a monetary punishment. It wasn't, you don't go to jail. Like they basically just say, like, okay, you can't have these people anymore. Yeah. But there was a provision in the law in which the slaver could clear himself, quote, by his oath.

Yeah. Meaning that in most cases, the courts could only prosecute if the slave admitted to their own guilt. And most of the time, the slavers could skate with the fine, even if they were found guilty. And according to that, the Metamilolore mistress of the haunted house, one of the things that it's like, it was also pretty easy to just straight up bribe a guy. Yeah. You kind of go in and, because you remember, if you had,

if you had any of this, you were rich. Right, if you owned people, it was very expensive. And it was a rich person's idea of like, it was their life. So it's like they had plenty of money to throw around to bribe people. Yeah, and enslaved person cost at this point, the equivalent of $25,000.

Okay. Now that's all to say that Madame Laollaree lived her entire life in a society in which slavery was omnipresent and the degree of punishment and the overall treatment of said enslaved people was basically a matter of taste. Now Madame Lollaree was born Delphine McCarty on a plantation in the late 18th century in uptown New Orleans, which at the time meant anything north of Canal Street. This is where the so-called Americans lived, i.e. white people born on American soil.

South of Canal Street, however, was where the Creoles lived. Although back then, Creole was simply a word for anyone not born in norlings or its environments. These would be the people who would eventually give norlings its identity. Immigrants from France, Spain, the Caribbean, the original white people. The people who made it cool. Yeah, exactly. The people who gave it its personality, its flavor. Yeah. But they were also the same people that were like, because when the American started arriving, the quote unquote, American started arriving was ruining the vibe. Yeah, we'll get to that here in a second. To that point, though, once you got to the 19th century, the term Creole

got flipped to become a racial term that met native Louisiana's of pure white blood descended specifically from French and Spanish colonists. Interestingly, though, according to family letters, travelers accounts, newspaper stories, and court cases, Creole women mistreated the people they enslaved at a far higher rate than men, or at least their crimes were more heavily documented. But I do have a theory behind this. Oh, yeah, I also do as well.

I think it's all a question of proximity. I think the mistress of the house was in direct contact with their involuntary servants far more often than the men were. And the enslaved people the men dealt with, the people out in the fields were more likely to be punished by an employee rather than the plantation owner directly. And then also the woman of the house was the more often than not an abused enslaved person was a woman or a child, because a lot of times the quote unquote guy would be out there with the men enslaved people

and they would all be outnumber him. And they would also, he'd have to work with these people. That's a part of it too. He's deep inside these constructs, you're trying to keep them from flipping out. Oh yeah, at any moment, one of these guys could take that farm implement he has in his hands and slate your fucking throat.

Yeah, fucking bury you with it. Yeah. And it happened occasionally. Oh, it happened quite often. But according to one abolitionist from New York, Creole women put on a polished and respectable appearance for their guests, but were habitually cruel to those they enslaved. Madame Lallori, of course, would have taken this as simply the way things were. The way Creole women were expected to act.

Well, she fit that to it, T. Yeah. Madame Delphine Lalloree really enjoyed her station and life, and she would go on to specifically position herself to be an important intrinsic part of New Orleans society. Mm-hmm. In fact, an architect named Benjamin LaTrobe wrote that he personally witnessed one of

Madame Lollary's cousins whip a woman to death, and this cousin treated another woman with such unnamed cruelty that she died shortly after. She just, I mean, it's environmental. This is how she learned, this is how you're supposed to act. Can I ask a question? Conditioning, that's what I've been. Why, what did they have there? Why do they need slaves?

Cotton and sugar cane. Yeah, they were the they were the full free labor force that built the entire city Okay, now the woman who had become known as Madame La La Rie came from a large wealthy socially powerful family That included military officers merchants and numerous plantation owners who had lived in New Orleans for almost a century This is an old money. All of them, of course, were also slavers. To put it into perspective, when the McCarty family arrived in New Orleans, the population of the city was 4,800. Incredibly, 3600 people in that population were enslaved Africans. It seems like, you know, you don't need that many people.

Well, it's the, it's about unfettered growth. That is, yeah, we don't, we are just using it to turn this and turn this swamp into an American city. Yeah, turn swam doing American city. And also, you know, you got one guy that's making a whole lot of money. He buys a bunch of land and he's like, okay, I'm going to turn all of this shit into sugar cane. I'm going to turn all this shit in the cotton. And so yeah, you buy, you know, 40 or 50 people and they do that. And they, that's just what happens. And you get enough guys doing that. That's why you have about a thousand people

that are, you know, free whites and 3600 that are enslaved. Yeah, it's fucking incredible. That's how this whole fucking country was built. Yeah, it's kind of like a mark on our very soul that will haunt us to the end of time. Yeah, it's not just your world. It's nothing like heavier than that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's just the kind of known the secret that we don't like to talk about and don't like to acknowledge, but it is the reality of this fucking country. I just didn't realize that there was more slaves than white people. So many more certain places too. Yeah, you really depends because this was like, you know, this was

a harbor town and at this point are there still slaves in the north in 1800. I don't know. Again, this is not a history of we don't know. You're not know. In 1800, yeah, there would have been. Yeah, because there were still like in 1776. Yeah, I don't think that's a little too close, right? Yeah, it's a little too close. 1776. Definitely. Now, since enslaved people fall outnumbered free people, whites lived in constant fear of slave insurrections. In the case of the McCarty family, those fears were legitimized in 1771 when a relative by marriage was murdered and a revolt that was soon put down and punished severely.

The leaders in that rebellion were tortured on the rack and dragged by a horse until they died. Their bodies were then displayed, quote, until consumed. That was the decree. And their hands were cut off and nailed up on a post on a public road. Basically, it's leave the bodies out there until their skeletons. Oh, yeah. The crows and bugs get out of it. It's very medieval. Like it's a very old school way of 1771. It's not that far off. I guess it's true. And there's a bunch of French people there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Spanish.

That's right. Yeah. Don't position. Yeah. Exactly. And that's the other thing too, is that this is very similar to what settlers in New England have been doing for over a century to the native populations who rose up against white settlers there. We talked about King Philip's war and our Salem series in which this type of shit was done all the time. Put the heads and the posts outside of the city gates, you know, put nail up bodies, you know, let them rot as a warning to others. It was a very common practice around, well, I would say basically the entire world. I don't think Europeans and Americans are singular in that practice with the spiders in my house.

Yeah, I would leave the body out in the window sill so the other ones could see. No, man, spiders are good for your house. Yeah. Yeah. You're extremely good for your house. You fucking eat mosquitoes, eat all the bad books. I've killed them myself.

I don't need no spider. I love my spiders. I love my spiders too. As far as the others who participated in the rebellion that killed Madame Lala, Reeves relatives went, they each received anywhere between 100 and 200 lashes. And their ears were all sliced off before they were forced back into involuntary servitude. This and Madame Lala, Reeves mind was how one punished the people you enslaved. You know, I, pun reading that book though, her family.

Like, in many ways, this is how you reacted to a quote unquote insurrection, right? They did this whole thing where they, they go overboard. You all this like, fucked up shit, right? But largely the rest of the family sort of kind of did it as everybody else did it, where they were very, they were more like, I don't know what the term is. They were slavers, it where they were very, they were more like, I don't know what the term is, they were slavers, but the goal was like they were just like, quote unquote, normal slavers, where, where eventually she would go do, I think was far outside of the realm of what anybody else in her family would do. Yeah. Well, maybe to that point,

the McCarthy family also had many members who were mixed race. Because in the early years of New Orleans as a white settlement, there were very few white women to marry. Mixed race children took the family name, they received inheritances, but it's speculated by some scholars that part of Madame Lolloree's deep hatred for black people was partly wrapped up in her hatred of so-called race mixingmixing, which gave part of her inheritance to people she considered lesser than. Right from North Laid. Number down La La Rie had three marriages over the course of her life, and all three men

were terrible in one way or another. Her first husband was a... Yeah, she had a taste. She had a type. She definitely had a type for a dangerous man. Her first husband was a 35-year-old Spanish officer of the crown named Ramón Lopez Yanguolo. He married the madame when she was just 14 and Nourleens was still owned by the Spanish. It was French and Spanish than American.

Ramón had the dubious distinction of being the man who reopened the slave trade in Louisiana in 1800 after it had been closed for four years. They tried to shut it down for a section of time or at least the idea of bringing in outside people. Well, the Spanish tried to, the Spanish in 1797, so like, okay, enough's enough when you just stop this. Yeah, and then... It's 3,600 of them.

There's 1,200 of us. Yeah, I think we're good. Enough's enough. you just stop this. And then... And then, there's 3,600 of them, there's 1,200 of us. Yeah, I think we're good. Enough's enough. Yeah, we're all fine here. But then there was a really strong sugar cane in cotton crop. And then all of the town heads came to Ramon and said like, hey, we need more guys. Would you open it back up?

And so Ramon opened it back up without consulting the Spanish crown. And he actually got in the quite, quite a bit of trouble because of that and it actually led to his death. Oh yeah. Yeah. He was brought back to Spain. They said like big old punishment. Yeah, you coming back to like Sponja like you fucked up and also he wasn't he wasn't supposed to marry Delphine McCarty at the time. He was supposed to her. But it was the perfect Mary an age of 14 years. She was already a hardened bitch. Well, she would definitely become a hardened bitch.

I don't think it helps. Yeah. You know what I mean? To get married to 14. Yeah, but he wasn't supposed to marry her because he was supposed to ask the Spanish crown for permission to marry anyone in a colony. So he was on his way back to Spain. They stopped off in Cuba.

Uh, fucking Delphine got off of the boat. Uh, Ramon stayed on the boat hit a sand bar. It capsized Ramon died. Yo, he fucking split. He tried to sit in the Bahamas. He would know, man. The honestly, there it is dubious how he died, but it is, it does seem as such that this is how we know. How did they, why didn't he even tell them that he married with all the honesty there it is dubious how he died, but it is it does seem as such that this is how we know how do they why didn't even tell them that he married her it got back you know they just find out they find out yeah that she came from a she or her family was again well landed they were big family within the the entire area yeah very rich very well it was a good move for him yeah but you know the know, the Spanish crown, of course, bit of sticklers for things like that. Oh, yes. Well, Delphine,

after Ramon died, returned to New Orleans to find that Louisiana have been purchased by the United States. This flooded the city with new Englanders, who looked down on the white creoles as people who lacked business sense devoted themselves to a version of Roman Catholicism that bordered on idolatry and were addicted to frivolous pleasures. And thank God New Orleans grew out of that face. Fucking God. Yeah, I can't even believe it.

But it's also the, it is true, because you remember this time, people really thought Catholics were like cult members. Yeah, yeah. And you know, and yeah, they are. Yeah, yeah. We, we, we work animals. Mm-hmm.

But soon, oh yeah, both of y'all did that. We're, just you were race Catholic, right? I was race Catholic. You were the Catholic school, too. Oh yeah, yeah, my father was Jewish, but he didn't care about anything. He used more of an atheist. And my mom raised me Catholic, because she cared.

And I went to Catholic school and it was fucking horrible. I got hit by a non-hersucks. Jesus. Yeah, with a car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a big car. No, I got hit with a ruler when I dropped my pencil box and second grade. Wow. Yeah, it scarred me. I remember that shit a ruler when I dropped my pencil box and second grade. Wow.

It scarred me, I remember that shit. And then I learned how to drive every letter differently. And now I draw like, no, I fright like shit. You. Wow, yeah. And isn't that the ultimate revenge? You're forever ignorant. Fuck you sister Dolores.

I know you're dead. I know you're fucking. See you analysis Dolores. I know the second grade teacher that I had the paddled. See, I got hit by a gigantic paddle. Oh, the full paddle with the holes in it and everything. Oh, wow. So you could classically beat.

Oh, yeah, I got beat a lot by teachers. Yeah, public school too. Oh shit. Back in Texas. Yeah, man. Yeah, up until I got, I think the last paddling I got like the, it was the year 2000. What?

Yeah, it's fucking real. Yeah, that's too soon. Yeah, that's too soon. Yeah, it was a 17. And why did you K, you're getting spanked? Why did you K, you're getting spanked by a full grown man. Whoa, that's, I feel like there's a Nelson man. Yeah, and then you sign the paddle afterwards. That was always the weirdest thing about it.

And then you like, and then you kind of laugh and like shake hands was weird. That is weird. I don't like this. I feel icky. It was a strange ritual. Your story seems worse than that. It does.

You got to have a 17. Yeah, 17 and seven. Both. Wow, I would have freaked out. I think it's 17 years old. And I'm in between. You wouldn't be like, I'm a man now.

At 17. Yeah, 17. At 17. Well, that is the weird thing about it because you are both sort of grown men and you know and you do have to bend over while this other grown man like smack she on the ass three times Real hard and then and then you have to like pretend like it doesn't hurt and you shake his hand Thank you, sir, ma'am another type of deal. It's not thank you sir. May you have another

It's like you got a show on that you're a man and he's like show him how tight and hard your bottom is Well, yeah, you're hard how invisible your bus is so good No, no, no, no, no, there was plenty of skinny asses that got hit hard wow Yeah, but the big fat ass that I have did make the paddling's more bearable. Well, I take it back I hope you're still alive sister Dolores I know she's listen make the paddling's more bearable. Well, I take it back. I hope you're still alive, Sister Dolores. Fuck your sister Dolores! I don't think that. I know she's listening. I know she is.

But soon after the future Madame L'Aurie returned to New Orleans, she married a Frenchman named Jean-Paul Blanc on her 20th birthday in March of 1807. Not just like the Madame's first husband,, Jean Paul Blanc was also involved in the slave trade, although Blanc was far more hands on. Basically, if there was a profession in which there was an opportunity to be crooked, Blanc took it for a spin. You mean a real American? God damn it. He was very much a real American. Oh yeah. He was a merchant, a lawyer, a banker, a state legislator, and it's a bit of requires lives. And an associate of the infamous pirates, John and Pierre Lafitte.

Jean Lafitte. Yeah, Jean Lafitte. Jean Lafitte. Man, he runs the pirates in the Caribbean. Oh, really? Yeah, you take off from Lafitte's landing. You see, and in the middle of the park, it has been a pirated to the Caribbean. He's never and I'm a bit of a part of it. A bit of pirants in a care of artists.

I've only been a Disney lamp once, but you go on the one with all the rapists and the murderers. We are. Star Wars. The thing is that Jean Lefeet kind of had his history.

So because he helped us during the fucking was the war 1812. Yeah. Some garbage. Yeah. Well, we could do it here in a second.

But yeah, but he was not a great guy. Jean Lafitte. Disney's own. Disney loves to claim him. Especially with the human trafficking. But above all, Jean Paul Blanc was a smuggler of illicit goods. And after the African slave trade was officially abolished in 1808, he added human trafficking

to his resume. And it's estimated that he entered almost 400 people into bondage. He did, interestingly enough, also play a fairly large part in American military history. During the pivotal Battle of New Orleans during the War of 1812, it was Madame LaLaurie's husband who convinced Jean Lafitte to join in on the side of the Americans against the British. It's really fucking weird about how this is a massively important part, like things could have really changed in the history of the United States of America.

If we lost this war, like it's like a whole thing, but it was kind of all dependent upon the negotiation tactics of slavers. Yeah. And it's not even just this war. It's this battle. Like, you know, if we lost this battle and still won the war, because that, well, no one won the war. It was a draw.

But the thing is that the battle in New Orleans made a celebrity out of the man who led America to victory. Andrew Jackson, the man on the $20 bill. Oh, is it a guy? No, no. No. That guy. That guy. Yeah, no. No. No. No. No.

That guy, I like that guy. Yeah, yeah. Eddie? Eddie, please. But that's the thing is that have Madame Lalo Ries husband not intervened and brought the pirates in, Jackson may have never had the national profile to become president. Like it's so much weird. It's one of those fucking hinge points of history.

There was his version of the apprentice for our former president. Oh, that's what made him famous. Yeah, yes, yes. And Trump had the Russian mafia as well. It's just like the pirates. No, the actually I think it was Joan Rivers. It was fucking Tommy Moses, like Tommy Lee, and technically we're his, it was his John Defeat. Tommy Lee and technically were his, was his John defeat. No, the Madame and John Blanc were married for about a decade, but in the early 1820s, Blanc simply disappeared, leaving behind a debt of $3.3 million in today's currents. I think the debt had something to do with it. I think that debt had everything to do with it.

But it might be tempting to say that Madame LaLaurie was a black widow because she did have two husbands in a row, either die or disappear. But, nah, John Blanc probably just fucked off to another part of the world to avoid the deaths because 3.3 mill is a fucking marker. I'd run. Oh, yeah. Madame LaLaurie, according to the book, Madame LaLaurie missed her with a haunted house. There's really no evidence that she killed anybody that was like bigger or stronger than her. No. And she, especially her husband, she kind of depended upon them for status, money. I think it's more just like she started real early. And if you are a child bride, like you got a lot more opportunity for husbands to die. You really do. Yeah, especially if you're a child bride in the late 18th century. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's all sounds very Game of Thrones.

Oh, it's a hate. It just stopped being Game of Thrones. Yeah. The whole world just stopped being Game of Thrones like 150 years ago. Oh, yeah. Man, that's great. We're learning. We're growing.

Yeah, we are. But it could also be that since John Paul Blanc was a smuggler, slaver and a pirate, he might have just been fucking killed. Oh, yeah. Guys like that die. Yeah, he could have got, got. Yeah, he could have gotler, slaver, and a pirate. He might have just been fucking killed. No, yeah, guys like that die. Yeah, he could have got got got by another guy, another pirate. Who knows? Lash buckle to death. Yeah, man, it's the hardest way to keep your pants up.

Yeah. But other way, John Paul's death was a huge net negative for the madame. Simply put, the madame had no motive for killing either of her husband. No, it fucked up her whole life when he died and left her saddle with the debt. But that's kind of when she stood up, she kind of like, I was saying this to Natalie, she's like, she's, she girlbos it. You know what I mean? She was such a girl boss because she showed up and she's like, you know, she was like,

I could see them doing the fucking like, you know how every villain movies now about how great they are and how misunderstood they are. I could definitely see Emma Stone playing Delphine La Lauri coming in and you hear like, you know how every villain movies now about how great they are and how misunderstood they are. I could definitely see Emma Stone playing Delphine La Lauri coming in and you hear like, you know, like, you know, I'm unstoppable. I'm just gonna see her comes playing over the, the, the her scene of her like, understanding she needed to sell all her holdings. She became like a real estate maven and it came sort of a very cunning business woman during

this time period at the age of something like 20 where she had to figure out what the fuck was going on and basically get all the money back. Yeah. She was in 20. She was more like 35. Was that, oh yes, it's like 30. She was actually like 40. Yes, but still, girl boss.

This girl boss include Oh, snap. Well, this girl boss include being saved because you inherit all of your father's estates. I think so when you go. Yeah, actually. Huh? Yeah, yeah, Tori spelling. Oh, that's true. Yeah.

But while the future of Madame was almost ruined by Jean Blanc's debts, her problems were soon solved when her father died and she inherited a massive fortune, multiple foundations, and a massive number of enslaved people. Now, despite rumors that Madame La Lérie's parents have been massacred in a slave insurrection at Sao Am Domingue, Sao Am Domingue is Saint Domingue? I don't know. Sao Am Domingue. Sao Am Domingue.

Yeah, or that her cruel mother had been murdered by those she held in bondage while she was returning to her plantation, her carriage one night, both parents died natural deaths. Yeah, they just died. Yeah, but really mattered was the fortune because by the mid 1820s, at the age of 45, Madame LaLaurie was independently wealthy

and terribly powerful. That perhaps is why she chose her next husband, the man who would give her the surname that would be synonymous with torture and murder for centuries to come. It's a very, this is one of those like mistress at the heart of this, because we don't really know why they got together

or how they found each other because they were very, very different. And I know what he got out of it, but I'm not sure what she got of it, except for that dick. It is. Did she did get that dick? I have some theories. Well, they both had money in power, right? She did not. And that's let's get into it. 15 years younger than the madame, Louis Lallorie was from a middle class family in France, who had studied medicine at the Sorbonne in Paris. But he had immigrated to Louisiana to seek his fortune.

Now it isn't known exactly how Madame and Louis Lallorie met because Louis was by no means a member of Upper Crest Creole Society. He was in effect a nobody and it barely begun to establish a practice in New Orleans. Pretty certain it's one number one is that he was pretty like, no, he was known to be handsome. Yes. He cut a dashing figure. He was new from France. Never anybody loved that horse shit. He probably had a little moustache or a little beard. He was freshly. He was like, you know, the sarpon was a big fucking deal of time. And it seems like maybe he got invited into one of these parties or circles and she

like saw him she was like, you want the balls? And then jumped on it. So he was like a little Kunanan. A little tiny Kunanan. Kunanan, yeah. Okay, good. He's Kunanan just looking for that punani. Kunani for the punani.

Well, it's speculated that Madame La La Rie was seeking a medical specialist to treat an orthopedic condition suffered by one of her children, a curvature of the spine. And Dr. La La Rie may have been trying to set himself apart by specializing in medical abnormalities and deformities.

It was considered like the fucking height of technology at the time, what he was doing. It was the most fucking, you know, like it was brand new shit. Now as author Carolyn Morrill put it, Louis Lada Marie was an inconspicuous, colorless non-intety, a meek, mousey little man who coward at his wife's every word. And he may have been just that. Oh, he's partly that. Oh, yeah. But other evidence says that the Madame was quite engaged by the young doctor who promised that he could fix her child's debilitating ailment. Now, for Lord knows what reason,

Madame Lollary has her defenders or at least people who try to play down how awful she really was. It mostly seems to come from the neighboring families and other people wanting to try to preserve the purity of the culture of their groups of people. Antibell, yeah. Antibellam New Orleans, yeah. But these people, their defense always involves Dr. La Laurene. According to their defenders, the screams that were often heard coming from the La La Rene mansion were not from enslaved people being tortured, but were instead the screams

of the Madame's young daughter being tortured under the guise of medical treatment. I don't think that they were separate. Yeah. Yeah. Is it better? No. I always remember making a fur on. I'm good.

My sister used to have hair all the way down past her butt, right? And so, but she used to scream. My mom used to brush her hair and she would scream. She's got very thick hair. Oh, yes. And I always remember the neighbors would come, like we were beaten as you're not a person, but it's just like, no, I would've been fucking cool. No, we weren't that. Now, see, Dr. LaLaurie was a practitioner of an antecedent

to orthopedics called orthopraxy. Yeah, dude, which depended on, according to a textbook teaching the practice, the mechanical treatment of deformities, debilities, and deficiencies of the human frame, mechanical being the operative word here. Oh, very much so. In other words, this was a medical treatment in that terrifying experimental age of medicine in the 19th century, where they would try anything.

Dude, I'm looking at the machines right now that they use. It's the rack, right? It is basically one was the rack that had two loops. So basically you'd hold onto a bar, your feet were strapped into this like pulling mechanism, and then they have two different leather belts that would be strapped in different sections of your spine. And that was for scoliosis.

So one crank would move one belt the other way, the other crank would move the other belt the other way, and then they would slowly stretch you to align the vertebrae, and it would just, the goal was to break and snap your bones and a way to put it together. But his main purpose in life was to quote unquote, destroy the hunchback. And then his whole thing was that that's what orthopraxy was all about. It was like just getting rid of punches. I mean, please.

But look at how they did it. This is another machine where you lay down an essentially like what you'd like a rowing machine where it's got two wooden planks sticking out of the giant wooden structure where the hunch would sit on the one side of the plank and the other fucking the brother plank would dig up into the top of your ass. And then you would strap you all the way down onto it.

And then you use that thing to sort of snap you forward to try to end the hunt, punch the hunch up. And he said, don't worry. He's like, as soon as we start, then to be very, it only takes about two to three years of this. This is real, to change your back. I mean, that's the thing, that at this point, like they're just trying anything, they're just past like fucking bashing someone

in the head with the rock and throwing them in the ditch if someone was wrong with them or selling them to the freak show. So yeah, I bet the daughter was screaming, yeah, because I don't doubt that he was, because there was orthopraxic machines in the house. Yeah. And because orthopraxy was a mechanical treatment, some of the torture devices found in Madame Lollare's house like strange braces and rack-like mechanisms were explained

away as orthopraxy instruments that have been used to stretch and rotate the madam's daughter to bring her spine back into proper alignment, which I don't think is incorrect, but I also don't think that those things were being used properly all the time because as we'll see in the next episode, one of the main enslaved people that had direct contact with Madame Lowry was a woman referred to as the hunchback. But after a period of courtship, the Madame married, Dr. La Lorie, in 1831, and soon purchased a lot at 1140 Royal Street. It was here that she built the small mansion that would eventually come to be known as the most haunted house in America.

And that is where we'll pick back up for part two of Madame La Lorie. And next week, we're going to get into what we believe to be real and not real. We're going to go deeper into the ghost stories that were involved around this house. But if you're in New Orleans, you all know that that place is creepy as fuck. And next week, we're really going to see why it was considered to be and continues to be creepy as luck. I love it, man. I mean, I love that there's a ghost thing that we're talking about.

I don't know what's gonna happen. That's great cover. Yes. Man, we're, it's Halloween. This is it. What are you dressing up as? I think I'm going as a warrior type. I think I'm going as Conan the barbarian.

Man, nice. What summer camp does Johnny Depp kill camp counselors at? What camp crystal meth? Wow. That's pretty good. I got these. You know, I wrote them down. I know why? Why is it so hard for Michael Myers to have sex? Why? He has a Halloweeny. All we need is a Halloween. I got really. We got tubes. There is a tube, but there's meat. Yeah.

It's a muscle. Side service LPLG, Melda, a Weineriney Halloweeny. I don't think it's just a bag that like fills up with blood. I think it's blood vessels that become engorred. But there's two. There's a urethra. Yeah.

I view that it's like where the cream goes. Oh, where the cream goes. Yes. Well, you can hear these jokes anymore. I'll be on tour this one. Hey. I'm going to be in Chicago on November 1st with Jeff at the 312 comedy festival opening up for Take a Banana for the Ride and the same thing with the New York comedy festival

November 3rd through 5th. I love that. I absolutely love that. Also check out Operation Sunshine at your local comic book store. It is out there from Dark Horse. Go to your local comic book. Order it by name.

No give it to you. And if not, I'll fucking come to that place myself and I'll burn it to you. That's amazing. You can also put number two in your pull list. Make sure you get it next time. I'm just saying I'm willing. You can probably order it online. I'm willing to go all the way but go to your local comic book store

It's better that way. It's no stone unturned All right, I don't care. I use every tactic in the book All right, that's it. Yeah, algae hell your mama That's I hate this Mama that's I hate this we're trying to do it. I'm not ready Because it does sort of be like I guess yeah, hell your mama. Yeah, I love you. What you know what you know what? I'll your mama honestly. Hi, tell some people don't like their mother. Yeah, that's true I love my mom. I'll I'll hail my mother. Yeah, thank you. Hail mother. Hail mother. I already've given her enough How hail my mother. Yes, thank you.

Hail mother. Hail mother. I already have given her enough. I have given her enough. I'm a teller. I will tell you to the hailer. I will tell you. I will tell you.

I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you to the hailer. I will tell you to the hailer. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you.

I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.