Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 554: Necrophilia

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

This week the boys are diggin' deep into the world of Necrophilia and those who indulge in sexual acts with the dead, breaking down the 10 sub-divisions of the paraphilia, as well as some of the most notorious (and revolting) Necrophilic figures throughout history.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannonball is started. What was that? He's a chutney farmer. Come and eat his clogged nuts. Go and have a can snicker.

Up his curry bongo, take it up the bomb. Up me, uh, Prick Sombrairo. Yep, Prick Sombrairo, that really works. I'm a council grifter. I'm a council grifter. Gritter, council gritter. Uh, come and suck me clinkers. Suck.

Which is another good one. Man, Jimmy lovely. Well, Jimmy's the devil really could put together a nice song. Turner phrase, he's really. Jimmy's not really gonna put together a nice song. Turner phrase, he's a really, a man who really knew how to do a Turner phrase. It's incredible. And he's one of the men that we'll be talking about here today.

Oh, and last podcast on the left, my name's Marcus Parks. I am Henry Zabrowski. And I am disgusted with both of you. Very good. I'm so excited to find Larsen with us. I'm finally, this is a true old fashioned last podcast and left subject. Yeah.

It's been a minute because again, it's relatable because who doesn't like to crack open a couple and cold ones afterwards? Come on, you fuckers. Woo! Woo! It's about to get fucking nasty. Oh, man.

My first question is like, how illegal is this? Well, it varies from state to state, and I will answer your questions as we go along. I was more talking about us talking about this. No, no, no, no, no, this is commentary. Freeze speech. Freeze speech. I'm out of speech.

No, man, this is good. I'm, who, yeah, come on. Today, we're talking necrophilia. Yay. We're getting deep into this subject. Oh yeah, that's another good turn of phrase. Did you go to the Necrofilia Museum in Los Angeles? Necrofilia Museum?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Liza Menelli's house. Yeah! You got him! Ah! Yeah! Got him! Now to the uneducated.

Oh God. Defining Necrofilia seems like it would be a simple task. I.e. a necrophilia, I guess someone who has sex with dead bodies. But in having this frankly, unenlightened opinion, you'd be oversimplifying a massively complicated and fascinating parapheralia that has no less than 10 distinct subdivisions. Don't put your record collector eyes on us. All right, this is even about one of the most hipster version of having sex with the

corpse. All right, because it sounds like it's just you that views it as a come a complex gray rainbow. It is not just me, it is also the author of the textbook, Necrophilia, forensic and medical legal aspects by Anil Agrawal. Also, the same part, the person who really breaks this down is the author of Grave Desire, a cultural history of Necrofilia. That's Steve Finbo. I was going through a couple of academic papers because I was trying to find some more like, why? How do we get here? And it's funny because there really isn't a lot of like sort of academic pursuit of

the subject. And one like author wrote this thing and be like, you know, it's, it is absolutely fascinating. And I just can't believe there's not a lot more directed steady on Neckrophilia. And it's like, it's necrophilia. And so it's not popular. It's not super popular. It's not onrophilia. And so it's not popular. It's not super popular. It's not on the trending topics. We're not, we are not going to hit the top of TikTok.

I don't know if they have necrotalk. Yeah. TikTok has in seconds to live. Here must be some kind of necrotalk. I'm going to look that up. All right. While you look it up, I'm going gonna read you a delightful passage from grave desire. Okay.

The Necrophile becomes a mythical monster in order for society to maintain a moral status quo. Necrophilia becomes the ultimate fetish, the last perifilia, the weather gauge for society's moral storms. It's fucking a corpse. I mean, it's, you can't make it pretty. It can't breathe up.

No one's doing it cool. There's no, this necrophilia. You know, like there's nobody who's bringing it to the map. There's no Taylor Swift bringing it from country to pop. Yeah, if you were cool, you'd fuck the living. Yeah. Yeah, that's the idea. Most cool people do this story. Let's just say it lacks charmers. Yeah, there's nobody in here. Even in every serial killer we've covered, we've always kind of found like, there's like,

not always, but sometimes there's like a relatable point. Something, you know, and we're gonna get into why, you know, like what we're talking about here today, but these are people that make their whole nut fucking corpses. Yeah, you know, because a necrophile, when you say the word necrophile, it just sounds like a guy who opens up a corpse butthole

and starts smelling it and he's like, I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting, good see, I'm getting tennis balls, I'm getting cedar. Well, if we must put it into a box, necrophilia in its pierced form. You get a fucking task it?

Yeah. You're gonna put a giant of Henry and Bob. Thank you. Necrophilia in its purest form is sexual gratification that comes from having an encounter with the dead. If you want to get granular with it, the act itself is called necrocoeetus. While the more Greek among you might call it

thenatofilia. Have you ever seen Necromancy? Oh, I don't think so. I know the band Necromancy. That's cool. No, it's one of those movies that, you know, when I was a younger man, I was always looking for whatever was the single most

fucked up thing I could see. Yeah, great. I loved every, I loved it. I was always fascinated with it. And it was about six months ago. I'd never seen Necromancy before. And it's on the list of all the most fucked up movies ever, because it's about a guy that will cover today,

a truly romantic version of Necrophilia. But Tom Petty. Yeah. But he got to, I couldn't watch it. Yeah. It's really gross. I was like, oh man, I'm getting fucking soft. Wow, you're seeing? I'm getting fucking soft. Wow, you're insane.

Getting soft in your old age. What's happening? I don't know. Well, maybe I can toughen you up with some of this shit because it's gonna get fucking awful. Let's do it. Yeah. Well, often, but not always. Necrophilia is coupled with other transgressive acts like sadism, murder, cannibalism, vampirism,

and necrophagia. Necrophagia is different from cannibalism because necrophagia is the act of eating the flesh of the dead raw for sexual gratification. Often cannibalism is cooked like it's prepared. There's more often like rituals accompany cannibalism. Oh yes, yeah, yeah, because it also because it's not time to tag on to other crimes. Exactly. This is something eating raw is called sushi. Sashimi. Now, what if the person's still alive when you eat part of them?

That would be cannibalism. That's cannibalism. That's definitely cannibalism because necrophagia is specifically flesh from a dead body. Because there have been people that have been willingly cannibalized. Yeah. Yeah. There's also necropetifilia and necrobestiality, both of which are self-explanatory. No, they aren't.

I don't understand. Sex with dead children, sex with dead animals. Thank you. Thank you so much. Now, the spectrum for necrophilia runs wide, from a mere obsession with corpses to the act of murdering, to obtain, mutilate, and possibly eat corpses, a la Jeffrey Dahmer, or Dennis Nielsen. But for today, they worse the closest we have to an Elvis of Necrofeel.

Yeah. Dahmer, I suppose, would be the closest to an Elvis of Necrofe. We're Ted Bundy. Yeah, Ted Bundy also Necrofeeliac. Yeah. You did the reading. Yeah. But for today, we're going to shift our focus away from the more infamous Necrofeeliacs

to some of the lesser-known practitioners, the ones who seek out bodies that are already dead or those who have a romantic attraction to specific dead bodies they had previous relationships with. I also think this is, how do I put this? Pure necrophiliax. These are guys who are doing it just because they're curious after they killed somebody in their serial killer because they're a serial killer first Yeah, necrophilia act second. Yes. Right. These are guys that focus in on this because again, it's its own art form

It is but although I would argue the Jeffrey Dahmer was a necrophilia first and a serial killer second Okay, level third. I will again. You sure? Yes We it's interesting. Well, yeah, I mean,, yeah, that's a long conversation we can have. That ruin many people's after. You know, thanksgiving's coming up. I'm saving. My mom's in town. We can do it at the smokehouse.

Oh, God. You think they were doing for us? This walk in with half an arm. It's like, we have a special request. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nowhere. It's going. Don't, Thomas, or birthday. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don but that 5% of female necrophiles can be quite chatty when they want to be. I feel like we do like to talk.

When we were talking on the phone, I think partially it's that too, where it's most of the time you have to hear from the necrophiliac if they've done it. And the thing about being a dude is that we leave shoe. Right? We leave a spider webs, a lady, yeah, you can leave a slug trail,

but it's harder to see. It is harder to see, however, the necrophilia we're going to talk about right now, Karen Greenley did leave behind a bit of a trail. Oh, yes. Karen Greenley, whom we've mentioned in the past, is covered in Carla Valentine's paper, Dead Inside, female necrophilia, UK law, and the penetration paradox. Parenthood, penetration paradox is going to be my DJ set. No, I'm not even going to get my album from that.

Well, Karen Greenley was a self-described morgue rat and she claimed to have had sex with somewhere between 20 and 40 men. It's a big difference. That's a big difference. But now when you're 40, it's either double or it's crazy. It's not getting whirlwind in there, man. If they say 20 to 40, it's crazy. It's like a whirlwind in their man. They say 20 to 40. It's 60. Especially Nicarphalia. Where she said that she would spend hours in the morgue

riding body's cowgirl style, and her version of a male orgasm during these riding sessions would be when blood or other fluids would spill from the mouth of the deceased during Necrocoitus. She said, I don't let him get on top. That's why. Exactly why. Yeah. Yeah. That's why.

Yeah. She said that she really liked 69. She'd rub the clip on the nose. And then she also said, she found the order of death, extremely erotic. Oh, now you got your body that's been floating in the bay for two weeks or a burn victim that doesn't attract me much, but a freshly embalmed corpse. Is something out? Why are you giving her that voice, just fucking saccharmena? No, I love you, dude.

Well, Karen, you would even attend the funerals of the corpses she defiled. I would get to mourn right along with the family at the loss of that loved one, except I was groaning in a little different tone. Mm. Mm. Mm. I was coming.

Oh, you're crying, I mean. Going to the funerals a little more respectful than just banging a random corpse. You're gonna see a lot of people who go to the funeral. And you see pretty common practice. You see, you're going to see a lot of people who go to the funeral and see pretty common practice. You say respectful. I think honestly, it's more into the parapheralia. It's building up tension. You're going to, you're being a part of this process. You're making it personal in your way. Like you have this parapheralia to us. Like we're making fun of it and making fun of

necrophilia to them. This is extremely personal and romantic and complex and they view it as legit. So in that realm, that's like a date for them going to their funeral. By 1979, Greenleys obsession had reached a fever pitch. One night she stole a hearse with a body inside from the mortuary in Sacramento where she worked. She then used the body for sex for two days before she was found overdosed on Codine in the back of the herds.

I think the Codine probably had something to do with some of the necrophilia. Yeah. The Codine addiction. Yeah. I don't know. Codine makes you sleepy. Yeah. And from how she describes it, her sex life was quite active.

I get horny when I'm sleeping. You get horny when you're sleepy? Yeah. Weird. That is weird. I get hungry. Good. I get sleepy. You get horny when you're sleepy? Yeah. Weird. That is weird. I get hungry. Good. I get sleepy.

I go to sleep. But since there was no law on the books in California against specifically Necrophilia at the time, she was only fine $255 and sentenced to 11 days in jail for interfering with the burial and illegally driving a curse. You know that's a frustrated ass judge. Go, make sure to send me like, I wanna figure out what to do with you, man. And me, she's gonna be like, I can't wait till you die.

I'm going to fuck you up, man. It's legal. It's legal. You'll be pleased to know, however, that a section of the California Health and Safety Code was amended in 2004 to explicitly forbid necrophilia, and this was signed into law by none other than governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hell yeah.

You know why? Because he loved muscles, and muscles require blood. He was going to thought he was going to do it. Yeah. I've got some style. I've got the dominate, I've got some dominate deco feelin'. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha partially, is it given people ideas? I don't think it's given people ideas because that only about 40 states have gotten around to making it specifically illegal. There's still 10 states out there. I'm not going to tell you which one where you can still legally be

a neckline. But I don't, I'm not. Why is it so hard? Like truly why is it so hard to get them to come down on Necrophilia? I think it's because I mean, there's no federal statue. I don't lock up Biden's wife. Yeah. Yeah. Let me be clear. I am not dead.

Well, there's no federal statute for bidding necrophilia because I think no senator wants to be known as the guy who put the necrophilia provision in the latest crime bill. I know my constituents love to fuck the dead. I know that. I will keep his legal. I know they do. Have you heard the term of fuck with a set when the necrophilia term for like the R's are group of people like mostly they want me on the

bone, but there is a group that love just fucking skeletons and coming all over skeletons. I think coming all over skeletons would be the operative where it's masturbating. When is the meetup, Mark? Did you get a run-up catch in me? You're not catching me out. You could put it through the ribcage. You could put it through the pelvis hole. I guess you could put it through the ribcage. You could put it through the pelvis hole. I guess you could put it through the ribcage. That's a pretty small opening now. It's a fra, it's like more like rub in, it's a rub in. A friction.

They call it pork in the bone. Who's that? This guy. But if you're wondering about the aforementioned penetration paradox when it comes to female necrophiles, some use erectile dysfunction vacuum pumps to manually generate interaction in deceased men. Or so they claim. Yeah.

Others say they use hydraulic pumps that are attached to thin plastic tubes that are inserted and sutured into the dead phallus. However, I'm inclined to agree with author Carla Valentine when she brings these claims into question. I would agree. Because again, that takes a lot of time. You're talking about a lot of time in a room with cameras, trying to film a lot of it, if you're getting at a corpse,

that's in a hospital, it'll take some time. Yeah, if you're in that situation, but Karen Greenley, I mean, she was doing her shit in the 70s, not a lot of surveillance cameras in the morgue, and she said that she would have hours with the corpse. And if you have a penis pump, like that's just, you're done in five seconds. A lot of bush hair in that time period.

Risks sound like an idiot. What about rigor mortis? Exactly. Well, everyone talks about the so-called angel lust in which a dead body achieves an erection post mortem. You heard of that? Yeah. You heard about this?

You heard about that, and you know what he's called that? He's called us, but I knew you'd get hard when you died. Yeah, it's true. I actually didn't know that. You, you heard about this? Well, that's not the only thing that's called lust. But I knew you get hard when you died. Yeah, it's true. I actually didn't know that. You didn't know about angel lust? No, I don't get angel lust magazine, Marcus. Ha ha ha ha. Everyone knows that if this podcasting thing didn't work out,

I was gonna go to mortuary science to school. Of course, that's very cool. I know that's very cool. But angel lust usually only happens in hanging deaths or other forms of death in which there is intense pressure on the cerebellum. It also doesn't happen hours or days after death and it doesn't just happen to men either. When women are hung, their vaginas will also engorge. The clitoris were also engorge and in some cases blood shoots out of the vagina.

So my question. So when it just gets big, it looks like Homer Simpson mouth. Yeah. I've seen those. Have you seen that meme? Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it. Yeah, I've seen it. But it all, it doesn't happen hours or days after death.

It's something that happens in the immediate time right after death. Maybe our coroners or mortuary workers could help us out with this. Yes, so please email side stories LPL, gmail.com. But Valentine says that the claims of pumps, hydraulic or manual are dubious at best considering the amount of congealed blood contained in a dead penis. On the subject, I will defer to the professionals and we shall give an update on side stories. Thank you.

I do know that a penis after a certain period of composition does blow up like a balloon until it bursts, much like the stomach well. It's gases, various insects that are, of course, maggots are going to be everywhere by that. Do you want more of the cornbread stuffing, Marcus? Do you want, do you like dark meat, right, Marcus? Speaking of coroners and more shawai workers, you may not be surprised to know that certain jobs attract necrophilia. Yeah, but some of these professions are less obvious than others. Yeah, guys who work at

tollboods, the, uh, anybody at a DMV, you know, like an IRS. I have a lot of wild wings and we had a couple. What we expect the Gravediggers, Cemetery employees and mortuary attendants to have a higher percentage than other folk, Neckar files are also prevalent in the ranks of soldiers, ambulance drivers, and volunteer firefighters. Because they got the freshies. Yeah. They get the freshies. And then think about why pedophiles are attracted to being teachers, priests, senators,

yeah, like a partially what that does is it gives you. Cause again, people then it's built into a role that they trust you. Yeah, man. Now crazy thought. What if like an E M T doesn't save somebody just so they could fuck up. Very possible. Oh, yeah. That's very, very possible. Yeah, it's basically any profession in which a corpse is likely to show up. And if the urge is strong enough, then yeah, they might not give CPR to that corpse in order to you know touch about because Well, that's the thing we'll get into what EMTs are mostly into and firefighters. They're not really into the actual fucking Not all of them not every EMT not every firefighter. No, not just the volunteers

Why do you not get paid for this boy? I get paid. Oh, Joe, I get mine. We'll get to their area of necrophilia later. OK. Now, while we think of necrophilia as a lowly crime committed by subhuman beasts, this transgression occurs with fair regularity in the ancient histories amongst the great men. According to the Babylonian Talmud, composed between 300 and 600 CE,

King Herod the Great sentenced his second wife to death for committing adultery. Then he had her body embalmed and honey and soared for seven years, where, quote, his sexual desire for his melified wife remained as strong as when she was alive. Oh, this is one of those, you don't know,

because King Herod the Great was like not super popular. So you find out later on like why, you know, you don't know what's a rumor or what's not a rumor. I just keep seeing Alice Cooper. Yeah, because that's, he played King Herod in the, um, Jesus Christ superstar. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Well, there was also the psychopathic tyrant, Herriander of Corinth, one of the seven sages of Greece. He accidentally killed his pregnant wife when he threw a foot stool at her head. He then defiled her corpse, burned his concubines alive, and sent two of his sons away to become unix for reasons that are unclear. What the concubines do? Exactly. That's also unclear.

You know, it's argued by concubines, is that they have all the secrets. And they're the ones that are a lot of times they get the wife or queen, whatever will be more of a political position. And the concubines are actually the ones getting to know the man, I'm statue. And it could also be some sort of weird, like expression of guilt. I accidentally killed my pregnant wife.

Now I have to get rid of my concubines and I have to, but that's the thing is that none of it actually hurts him. Yeah. It only hurts the people around him. And he's an interesting guy because he is a tyrant, which at the time, we're also weird because it was about taking a land away from the rich. So who knows? So no, that means.

However, Greek historian Herodotus did give my personal favorite euphemism for Necrophilia, concerning the defilement of Periander of Corinth's pregnant wife's body. Herodotus wrote the quote, Periander baked his bread in a cold oven. That's good. That makes sense. That's freezer. Surprisingly, great and lowly men alike are not the only organisms to engage in necrophilia. Oh wow, the act of having sex with the dead is quite common in the animal kingdom,

particularly in birds. Yeah. Crows. You know, penguins. I don't trust birds. Ducks. Well, ducks got the corkscrew penis. Dough, you're the worst.

That's gonna be, I get, maybe it's easier for them to have sex with another dead one. But also, you just fucking put it in and wind them up. Go. Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck. I also don't know if it's, you know, how far does an echrofrile go? They just rubbed their bird dicks on it,

like there's a just, are they really fucking, whatever hole they can get at with? They're penetrating. And one nature study in the Netherlands, Drake Mallads were seen copulating with a dead male Drake for almost 75 minutes. And we should know, I times the whole thing. Keep going.

Interesting. I was like, why does he not want my bread? Oh, I see. He is baking his bread in cold oven. Additionally, Necrofilia is quite common amongst the marine mammals, sea lions, sea otters, and especially the sea's worst sex offender, the dolphin. Hey, man, come on, leave him alone. They're just from Miami. They learned from watching us.

As far as why people become Necrofiles, it's hard dependent on any one fact. All right, they're just from Miami. They learned from watching us. As far as why people become necrophiles, it's hard dependent on any one fact. Yeah. Most because if there was one factor, we get, I think we get nip that much. Most believe it's about control, the absence of conflict, the higher likelihood of getting away with the crime, the impossibility of rejection. There's a lot of things that go into it. The impossibility of rejection is what every pop-cyc, slash, any one of these other papers I was reading, they all just say that, it's because they can't say no.

Well, I think it's much more complicated than that. I do too. Most fascinating, however, is the relationship between necrophilia and the perpetrator's sense of smell. Now, I'm going to say this is a warning right now, because I know I have met several listeners over the years that do not have a sense of smell. Sure. I got a cousin with no sense of smell, and I know I have met several listeners over the years that do not have a sense of smell.

Sure. I got a cousin with no sense of smell, and I love farting around. But the thing is, is that Marcus has a theory. I have a theory. He believes. Well, I have a theory, because in general, a far higher percentage of necrophiliacs suffer from a diminished sense of smell when compared to that general population. We don't think you, as a listener, you know, sense of smell are maybe, are we don't think that you're more like able to be a Necrophiliac?

But you are. You just might have been born with a certain set of skills. That's not my, that's not my theory at all. My theory doesn't go against the people with no sense of smell. My theory goes against the rest of humanity. Because I think this begs the question as to whether or not more people would be necrophiliacs if they didn't have the instinctual repelant reaction

that's hardwired into our brains concerning decomposing flesh. It's funny that I think that it's actually like a fiest point of view of like, why aren't we all rape and everybody if God isn't there to tell us now. I'm talking about pure biological reaction. I feel like there's a lot more in the room besides just smell. It's a dead body.

Yeah. And I've had to break it one more. There's a dead body on the table. It's got an autopsy scar down the middle of it. It's got like shit. It's like, you know, it's got the face, it's gonna look at it's horridness face because it don't last a day.

It's a fresh. No, the fresh eats, because then it's got, it's got a runny nose. It's also the, I would say you're a sight of thanks you from having sex in the courts. So I would say you're emotions. A lot of, it's an emotional factor. I don't think it's just like, I don't smell.

I did corpse and I'm like, oh yeah, excellent. This one's I can get it. It still smells emotional factor. I don't think it's just like, I don't smell a dead corpse. And I'm like, oh yeah, excellent. This one's I can get it. It still smells like perfume. It's like, no, no, no, no, I think that there is an emotional quotient that might keep you from having sex with the corpse. Perhaps.

Yeah, so you have to know sense of smell ambiance. Yeah, helps. Yeah, I've put there are many insane people out there. And I also wonder if Necrophilia has recently been on the uptick because of long COVID infections. Considering how many people lost their sense of smell and considering the number of people who came out of their infection with the scrambled brain. I can't wait. Cold for the people saying that we have blamed Necrofilia on COVID. I can't wait

for the responses from the various doctors, side stories, help.cohtl.gmail.com. How do you feel about COVID causing rampant necrophilia amongst the world? Do you suffer from dawn COVID? Because. So the term necrophile was coined in the year 1850 by a psychiatrist named Joseph Guizlom to replace the previous charge that would sometimes be placed on those who interfered with

the dead. Before people could be charged with Necrophilia, they would sometimes be charged with vampirism. It was an actual crime in certain countries. France, England, they added on the books. The vampirism charge brings us to our first case. That involving Sergeant Francois Bertrand, aka the vampire of Montparnasse. This will also bring the first of many, many, many French Necrophiles covered on today's episode.

I will say it is very, it's a very European like thing versus a lot of American Necrophiles. Again, we're multi-taskers. Yeah. We work really hard. We've like, and we never stop. We don't know how. We're also a land of freedom.

We're a land of freedom here. Okay. And our necrophilia, a lot of times, big cases of necrophilia, we see our tied to serial killing, where it seems like Europe really has the no kill, like, you know, was it catch and release? Cirokelelele, like way more than we do. Yeah, draw those extra vacation days. Idol hands are in the devil's play, then.

Get back to work, you're fly from your play. Now, according to Bertrand himself, he had a strong desire to mutilate corpses from a young age, but he never killed to obtain those corpses. In fact, only one person that will cover today actually killed anybody. But what I'll also say is that the majority of our stories today also come from the 18th and 19th century. If I were to say why, I'd guess it was because

fresh bodies were easier to obtain then. Sure. See, embalming bodies didn't become common practice until it was perfected during the American Civil War, when transporting the bodies of soldiers from far off locations back to their home soil came in a high demand. Before then, where you died was where you were buried. So that's probably the second best thing that came from the Civil War. Necrophilia. No. I'm in bomb. Bombing bodies in the abolition of slavery is what he's trying to say.

Oh, yes. Actually, yes. I would say, yes. This meant that fresh corpses unsullied by unnatural chemicals, seemingly the Necrophiles preference, were far easier to obtain prior to the proliferation of embalming. Therefore, a man like Francois Bertrand never had to kill anyone to obtain a fresh body. But the reason why I say that he might have killed someone if he had to was because he followed the same track that many serial killers we've covered in the past have gone down

when it comes to escalating behavior. And you will call his behavior escalating, but I actually think it's pretty fucking extreme from the beginning. Yeah. You can't, I mean, you can start an extreme and get to like more extreme. Yeah, like, yeah, yeah, they do. Yeah. But then he plots out for a little bit.

That's a thing. Now where else do we go? Starting at a young age, Bertrand would masturbate to the corpses of horses, dogs, and cats. This is what I'm saying. Which I'd imagine were far more common in the mid 19th century. Dead animals everywhere.

Sure, it's just the, ah, you know, it's extreme. Well, it's just the, it's not masturbating at a dead horse, which actually does sound like a new term of phrase. Massibating to a dead horse. Are you gonna stop masturbating or masturbating to a dead horse. Are you gonna stop masturbating? You're masturbating to a dead horse here. Yeah.

Because I don't know, I mean, again, I just don't understand what's so sexy about it. Yeah, but is it really a problem? That's it. I mean, that's the thing, not yeah. I would say yeah. I mean, if I found out that you were doing that, I'd have a hard time hiring you as an editor.

Yeah, I'd have a hard time hiring you as an editor. Like I had a hard time hiring you as like anything, anything. I wouldn't want you to deliver Instacart to me. No, no, you're especially, at least, hand sanitizer. Yeah, but right now we're at like cool ranch Doritos extreme. We're not to like ax body spray extreme. No, no, no, no, we're not getting up to that point. You're the gateway drug. Yeah, but in 1842 Bertrand joined the French army, which allowed him more access to a variety

of dead animals because he spent more time traveling. And when you walked down the road, the more dead animals you're going to see. And I'd also imagine that regular battle produced a lot of dead horses. Oh, yeah. But by 1846, dead animals that Bertrand simply happened upon were no longer doing it for him. So he began to capture and mutilate living animals for masturbation purposes. You see, now we're out. Yes, it's getting worse here.

He's burger flavored. Blaze. That happened, however, evolved again the next year when Bertrand happened upon a cemetery in the city of Duet. According to what he later told doctors, he came across some grave digging tools that had been left next to a freshly dug grave. What do you see it? What do you see it?

Oh, dear. Wait a second. Eh, eh. Ah, dear. His head began to throb violently, and his heart began to race, which would thereafter be the feeling that would proceed any of his foul deeds. And before he knew it, Francois Bertrand was shoveling dirt away from a freshly dug grave

in a race to the coffin. Once he unearthed the body, he began to strike it with the shovel over and over again, and the sound of metal tearing into flesh made him, quote, delirious with lust and violence for two hours. Shit. That's a long time. I wish we could cut to our hymns commercial. Very nice.

A couple nights later, the urge came upon him again. So he returned to the cemetery in the middle of a rainstorm. Heavy with atmosphere. Oh, this is the time for me. Yeah, very romantic. There's whenever it rains it washes your sins away. There goes either way. Ah easier when the, you know, the soil is broken up with the range. Yeah, sure. Yeah, no, you wet the ground if you really want to do some good digging. Yeah. If you not gotten your spring issue of angel lust mechanism.

Eventually, Bertrand got the lower half of the body uncovered, which he repeatedly hacked out with a knife. But for long, Bertrand was digging up bodies and cutting off pieces for later masturbation purposes. And to satisfy his self-described erotic compulsion, he was soon breaking into one of the most famous cemeteries on earth, one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to in my life. Pura Shea's cemeterie.

God, you know, you just go to those, it's just like breaking the Louvre, just a fuck of painting. You know, it's just like breaking the Louvre, just a fucka painting. You know, it's just a common hot dog. It almost makes sense. Yeah. Right. Wait, this is what I'm saying.

Like, it's interesting that he started with mutilations. Like mutilations are how we got, he just would see a dead body and stab it much with a knife. And then he'd get horny from that and then he'd go masturbate. Yeah. And then he was just taking off chunks.

Mm-hmm, start taking off chunks. But much like Ed Gheane, Bertrand claimed that the grave digging was never premeditated. He would never say, like, I'm gonna go dig a grave on Thursday. I gotta clear up my schedule. Instead, he said that when the attack got possession of him, whether it be noon or midnight, he had to go. It was in his words impossible to postpone the urge.

Yeah, he was like Ryan Styles. How is he on the Ryan style? Zimproff. Is it making it up, man? Yeah. Shout out to Ryan Styles. Yeah, it's going to be. You're great.

Yeah. I don't know if you fuck corpses. You're Scandinian. But if you did, I'd let you get away with it because you're that funny. One time. You go one, but you get to pick it. Let me be clear. I am a president of the United States. I will not be fucked by Ryan stuff. But in Perla Chays, Bertrand dug up the corpse of a 40-year-old woman disemballed it and cut the entrails into, quote, a thousand pieces. Every night for two weeks, Bertrand returned to Perla Chase to dig up and mutilate

bodies until he reached orgasm. Then he would rebury the body so no one would be the wiser. I'm always very curious in those moments after because again, like when I jerk off, it's like, you know, three minutes of flurry and then it's over and then it's like You know like Like I'm like all right move on with my day like you've cut open up Oh, you've dug open a grave in a very fancy cemetery. Yeah, you've cut up a woman's entrails and a bunch and when you're in that you're probably like Yeah, yes, yes, and then you go Yes, yes, and then you're jerk it off and then you go

Mercy pick he comes and then you're just like well Like what do you do? You get to get you put the dirt back on the grave All right, well France while you did it again It's just that you're like it's like when a kid plays with their toys too much and then you got to make them put it away as a lesson Yeah True just like that. Yeah, it's just like that. No, them put it away as a lesson. Yeah. True. Just like that. Yeah, it's just like that. No, he was an unrepentant, come to the end.

It's like, ah, yes. No. Ah-ha. But no, I think I would imagine he would see it as the same as you feel after a good meal. Nice full belly. And then, you know, take a nap. Yeah, I'm taking a gel.

Talk it out. Oh, well, yeah, it makes sense. Yeah. Finally, though, Bertrand's reign at Perla Chays came to an end when he drank too much and fell asleep at the cemetery. A guard discovered him and took a shot with his pistol, but Bertrand was able to escape. And place was kind of off limits after that. Now, by the next year, Bertrand became overwhelmed with the desire to actually have sex with the corpse, which was an urge that he had thus far withstood. And so he began digging up women of all ages, from old ladies all the way down to toddlers. But it must be said that after Bertrand dug up a three year old, he realized that he did indeed have a line. So he re-barried the corpse

without defiling. You know what? Honestly, right now, this is gross. I did not see until now, but this is gross. All right. You're coming for your Brenda. From August and November in the year 1848, Bertrand disinterred and defiled 15 corpses. When he couldn't find the fresh corpse of a woman, though, he'd dig up a man instead, only

to angrily slash and stab at the body without masturbating. Well, it seems like he's more of a digger than anything. I just don't understand. They got tombstones. Yeah. They tell you what's in them, but it's got to be a fresh one. Ah, yeah, you got to look around. You got to see the fright.

You know, you got to see the dark. It's something they won't have a tombstone if it's fresh honestly, because sometimes they're carving it and then they drop it in later on. Yeah. Absolutely. But much like a serial killer, Bertrand's methods became more brutal and experimentalist time went on.

He began splitting the mouths of corpses, cutting their bodies into ribbons, pulling the limbs out of the sockets, and twisting the bodies into grotesque shapes in an attempt to thoroughly destroy the cadaver. Finally, though, Bertrand's frequent visits to the cemetery got noticed, and in March of 1849, after three years of digging up corpses, authorities set up a trap at Montparnasi Cemetery to ensnare their mysterious ghouls.

Just a fucking freshly filled engraved, but just a butt hanging out of the top of it. Like how they bury their dead in Poland, because they have a place to park their bikes. Yes. Very nice. The sergeant Francois Bertrand was shot and taken to the hospital where he confessed everything. He was quickly charged and found guilty of vampirism, which soon after came to be known as Necrophilia. It wasn't this the case that got it to be known as Necrophilia?

I believe so. Although I don't know if the dates match up because I think it was, I have to look at 1848. Yes, it was. It was absolutely the one that they looked at. It's like, no, we need, we need, we gotta call this something else. This is something else. His last words were, if I die, please fuck me. That would be incredible. You would climb out. He was jailed for one year

and became a lighthouse keeper after his release. Honestly, that is perfect. That is the job. Yeah, perfect. Perfect. Now, several psychiatrists and criminologists have worked for years to help classify necrophilia, although admittedly, as you said,

like, it's about a paper a decade. It's about a paper a decade. It's not, it doesn't generate a lot of like research funding. Yeah. But a Neil Agrawal, author of the Necrophilia textbook, aggregated all the studies available to create an in-depth, 10-level classification system. God, we just need to teach our necrophilia class.

Yeah. Yeah. Imagine like having to tell your children what your book was about. You know, Brian, do you know there's 10 different ways to fuck a corpse? Eventually, I'm going to have to do that. Oh, yeah, you know, to fucking disgusting book.

Yeah, it's absolutely foul. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah, yeah, I can't wait. No, all of our friends have kids. They're going to listen to everything we've ever said. Yeah, yeah, I'll tell them. Cool, great. Let Uncle Annie sit you down.

Now, I think my brother actually hides his copy of our book like in a special secret place, so his children can't see it. That was the goal. Yeah, exactly. AgriWall, however, makes an important distinction between genuine Necrophilia and pseudo-Necrophilia. For poses.

Toothpicks. Sudo-Necrophiles. That is a actual technical term, pseudo-Necrophilia. Yeah. Sudo-Necrophiles have a transient attraction to a corpse, but are not actually attracted to the corpse itself. Yeah, oh, you fuck corpses. Name three.

Oh, no. Instead, you fuck corpses. Name three. Instead, they like their partner to merely pretend their dead, which brings us to the class one Necrophile role players, barely make it to the fucking class of occasions. Yeah, this is fine. Yeah, but that's why the class one. Yeah, it's weird. They're responsible about it. Well, do you ever do that thing I do with that? At least sometimes where I pretend to be dead until she gets scared and mad.

Yeah, yeah, I do that, but she does it again. If she got horny and jumped on me, I mean, again, I take it. Yeah, but then afterwards we talk. Yeah, you have a great conversation about what's happening. I would have probably more like, so if I just do this,

I get late every time. Anytime. Yeah, I've been in like, well, are you gonna make that trade? Yeah. Yeah. Man goes for it. It's fun and romantic though. every time. Anytime. Yeah, yeah, I've been in like, well, are you gonna make that trade? Man goes for a romantic though. Get one more in before you get all soupies. I see this to Natalie all the time. I'll pretend to be dead. I was like, we just played with my balls the one last time. She's just like, she gets all upset. Yeah. God, you know, God damn it. He's

fucking crazy. I'm fucking gonna see. Well, these people will ask their partners to play dead by painting their face to look like a corpse. Acavve themselves in a plastic sheet while wearing a toe tag, or they ask them to take baths and ice water prior to sex to give themselves that old-fashioned corpse coldness. Others have what's known as the sleeping beauty fantasy in which sex brings the quote-unquote dead lover back to life. That's the original story of sleeping beauty. She got railed while she was asleep and then she was pregnant while she was asleep and

then she popped open when she fucking... Yeah. This is also discussed in the song of the monster mash to a certain extent, wherein the narrator's monster is brought back to life through the soul power of the mash. Should we have through mash in it? Yeah. But again, when Simon lead my surprise, he did the match, but the monster match again, we have to remind our audience is not the monster match. It is a song about the monster match.

You in a song, they know, no, they talk about the monster match, but the song itself is not the monster match. The song is, it's titled the monster match. No, it's about the monster match, but the song itself is not the monster. The song is it's titled the monster match. No, it's about the monster match. Now what about when the Frankenstein's monster fucks brighter Frankenstein? How would you classify that? Because they're both dead. That's love.

I think it was gay. Frankenstein's monster was gay. They never touched. She was an into it. Oh, really? I never seen it. Frankenstein, honestly, he's bright. Frankenstein is one of my favorite horror movies.

He's a long time in that. It's great. It's fantastic. Frank and so honestly, Brian Frankenstein is one of my favorite horror movies. A lot of time. It's great. It's fantastic. But Frankenstein's monster had more of a tender emotional, maybe physical connection with the blind man. Oh, okay. And he met and he the blind man who fed him.

There's a lot of talk about how that was a gay love scene. They were having sex in that scene. Brian Frankenstein never wanted to have anything to do with Frankenstein's monster. She was just born mad, like a lot of ladies. Okay. that saying, right, a Frankenstein never wanted to have anything do with Frankenstein's monster. She was just for mad, like a lot of ladies. Okay. For this class one fetish, is it always harmless, nor is it always practiced by harmless people?

The worst example is Joseph Fretzel. Who? Fretzel Spretzels. Yeah. Yeah. Fretzel. And you know what? That company loves that. They love it.

They love it. They love it. They love it. Yeah. Yeah. Pretzel was the guy who held this daughter captive for 24 years and produced seven children with her. I remember.

Yeah, you remember. Yeah, you remember. Pretzel is technically a class one Necrophile because he would hire sex workers to pretend they were dead during the transaction. But while class one Necrophiles are all about sex, class two Necrophiles are defined by their emotional attachments. These are the so-called Romantic Necrophiles, also known as Necromaniacs. These people can't bear separation from their loved ones and often refuse to accept that their wife or lover is actually dead. Sometimes these people will close the corpse of their loved one, move them from room to room throughout the day and prop them up for normal activities

like eating dinner or watching TV. Interestingly, though, romantic necrophiles rarely have sex with the corpses they keep. Probably because they actual sexual act will more so remind you that the person is dead. To spell the fantasy. Yeah, where I think that this is, this is the one, if there's one of these, I vaguely understand. Yeah. It's this concept of you don't want to let them go.

And so you just kind of try to press on like everything's normal by dressing up a corpse. This is Mary Jane's last. Yes. Yeah. Which top bed he was a grave digger, by the way. Was he? Yeah, before he was in Gainesville, he was a grave digger. Oh, really?

Was there someone else who's a grave digger? Was it like Danny DeBito or like some famous actor Harrison Ford? He was a carpenter. He was a carpenter. Is it Kevin Bacon? No. Two handsome. He's too nice.

Yeah, he's too tiny. Yeah, you got to have long arms. Yeah, it's got to be like John Candy or something. John Stewart was a great dick. Rod Stewart from the faces. Thank you. And he's tiny. Yeah, he is tiny. Yeah, he looks like a grandmother now. He does, but if you see his little, his new little shuffle dance. Yes. Still has one of the best voices in rock and roll. Go listen to some early faces. Oh my god. Jeff Beck. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like it. It's great. Rod Stewart's very, he's not just if you think I'm sexy, there's a lot more to Rod Stewart. Yeah. Yeah. I like Jeff. I'm pretty better. He's got a very proper plant voice for him too much.

Yeah. Well, he does have a very rubber and there's'll, I'll talk to you later about Terry Reed. He's the missing link between all this. It's fantastic. You're gonna, you're gonna lose your mind when you listen to the sky. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, the buy you. But we're on the buy you.

The midnight special is when you fuck a corpse though. That's when you order it from Instagram. One of the more interesting examples of a romantic necrophile is an eccentric British aristocrat named Sir John Price, who hails from the mid 18th century. After his first wife died, his cousin, by the way, he had her embalmed and kept her in his bed even after he remarried. See while the first wife was a aristocratic stock, the second was a local farmer's daughter, who was kept a secret from the rest of the aristocracy.

The power imbalance meant that wife number two had to put up with the dead body of wife number one while sleeping and having sex in her marital bed. I'll just... You said none of these guys were charming. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Now that's a lot of, I got two dogs and a wife in the bed and I'm already clinging to one side of the very corner of it. I can't imagine having two dead women in there. Wow.

Well, I would imagine two dogs equals one dead woman. No. I'm talking volume-wise. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just talking episode really shows the very small but go there are golfs in between us, you know. Imagine like the dog just like running off with your ex-wife's foot. But when Sir John Price married his third wife, she insisted that he remove the corpses before she would agree to marry him. One source says he refused and she reported him for his crimes. But another that is backed up by documentation says that he agreed to get rid of the bodies. He did not, however, let go of wife number three when she died as well. Oh, she knew that was common.

Yeah. Well, I mean, this is different, though, because then it's a kind of jealousy. It's a little bit different what he did with his third wife. Well, I don't, what do you mean, a little, he wanted her it's kind of out of jealousy. It's a little bit different what he did with his third wife. Well, I don't, what do you mean? He wanted her to get rid of the fuck, he wanted him to get rid of the corpses out of jealousy. Yeah. Do you think it's out of jealousy?

You love these corpses so much. Why did you marry him? Oh, you did and they died? Well, there it's fucking over. Would she marry him? He had the corpses in his back. Yeah, she knew. Yeah, I guess that's what it is.

She knew it was not. But that's a thing never getting to relationship with somebody expecting the change. Yeah, she knew. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. She knew what it was. She knew what it was. But that's a thing never getting to relationship with somebody expecting the change. Yeah. That's right. Also, like, is no one talking about this guy's probably killing his wives? No. Oh, back in the middle.

I mean, this is like the, this is the 1700s. Oh, yeah, people just die. People just die. People just die. It's not, you know, come, it's not uncommon for a man to have three dead wives. Yeah, you spraying your ankle, you die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But when this third wife died, surprise wrote a letter to a well-known faith healer named Bridget Bostock, aka the Cheshire Pithonus. He invited her to his estate. I wouldn't invite her. Your name's the Cheshire Pithonus. Cheshire Pithonus. I don't know if I want name's the Cheshire Python-S. Cheshire Python-S. I don't know if I want you in my home.

Yeah, that's like the Cheshire cat, but like a giant snake. But giant snake? That's fucking awesome. That's really cool. Yeah, I think so. He invited her to his estate for the purpose of resurrecting his third wife. This was of course unsuccessful, and surprise finally died himself in 1761. Stop, I'll see you again.

This inability to let go, however, is not limited to men. And make of this what you will, but class two necrophiles are the group that contains the highest percentage of women amongst their ranks. Because the Romantic contingent. Yes. As a way to, I suppose, never be apart

from their deceased husbands, two women in the 18th century, one French and one Belgian, cut off the penises of their dead husbands and carried the fallacies around as treasured relics in expensive cases. The Belgian chose a silver case while the French chose gold. I'm putting this to my will. Yeah, I'm still, but like, that's a lot of love for a cock.

And when it comes to husband cock, it's not always the biggest and best cock you ever had. No, but it's hopefully the last. It's the most loving cock. It's the one that's attached to the guy that you car you ever had. No, but it's hopefully the last. It's the most loving car. It's the one that's attached to the guy that you're into. Yeah. Yeah, it's the cock of love. Yeah, because I don't want to know the old ones.

No, not asking about those. No. Cock of love makes you feel good. Yeah. Another example is the case of Joanna of Castile, aka Joanna the Mad, who was interestingly the older sister of Henry VIII's first wife, Catherine of Aragon. Wow, that is interesting. It's incredibly interesting.

She's such a, she's a massive character in British history. Wow. And this is our older sister. Holy shit. It's fascinating, no matter what you say. Joanna the Mads husband, Philip the handsome, died of typhus at the age of 28 in 1506. Instead of burying him though, she kept the body for a year, pretending he was merely asleep in his casket.

She would talk to him as though he were alive, complimenting him on said hand-someness, while forcing her servants to treat him as if he were alive, complimenting him on said-handsomeness, while forcing her servants to treat him as if he was a living being. It's his joy of the mad, but it's more like joy of the extremely traumatized. Yeah. Yeah. Now, our class two Necrophiles are all about

emotional connection. Class three Necrophiles, Necrophilic fantasizers, are where we get back to purely sexual motivation. Just the interviews this author had to do and sit and talk about all of a sudden, like, did you fuck it? How do you use your fingers? Do you use your mouth?

Use your penis? No, you get a questionnaire and you have them fill it out. Yeah. These necrophiles will masturbate to pictures of dead bodies and sometimes even manage to masturbate at funerals. They are, however, the necrophile most likely to escalate. Yeah, because that sounds like, to be honest, it sounds like this is just a baby Necrophile. Yeah. Yeah. This is the first step towards becoming a true Necrophile.

I do want to pay several people to jerk off of my funeral, but they're just so sad. They want to get one last going. We're going to get a lawyer in here and do our wills one day. Yeah, I can't. I've been thinking about that a long time, but I do in a long form series where we have a lawyer make up all of our wills for each other. That's a great way to do it for free or at least have the business pay for it. Yeah, business expense. Oh, yeah. Boy, you're thinking like a businessman nowadays, especially when it comes to our eventual deaths. The one interesting case that stayed in fantasy land involved a necrophilic blind man whose desire to kill a woman to obtain a corpse only grew as he aged, but that desire was stymied by the obvious obstacles that prevented him from

doing so. That's why I feel like it's nice now, because it's probably much more able for a blind man to kill a woman and have sex with her corpse. Yeah. You can't play Marco Polo with a corpse. Also, with your stick, you don't know where she is. You need this to go like, although this may fly in the face of my smell theory.

Yeah. Literally who lose one sense, you know, could lose another. Yeah, like Daredevil. It's like he lost the power site. Now all he wants to do is fuck corpses and save New York and be Catholic and a lawyer. And he's so guilty about all of that. Well this blind man's fantasies mostly revolved around breasts and included sucking, quote, cream from breasts and biting breasts open to find a quote unlimited flow of creamy milk.

His necrophilic fantasies were even more bizarre, involving a baby suckling at a dead woman's breast that would burst open. And swallow the child. Sparkest, do you want cranberry sauce? We have your grandmother, my mother made this. And this is gravy. We just love that you're in town. No, this gravy reminds me.

We were so close to like losing the thought of this man from Earth until you just run off. Like, he almost faded and just scared it. Like he almost finally jostled. Because that's when you actually die. No one remembers your name and a boom. And now this man is gonna live until the fucking solar flare wipes out the internet. Cut the internet.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Strangely though, because this blind man could never hope to kill a woman or even obtain a corpse for himself, he began fantasizing about a more realistic goal. Oh good. Instead of a human, he began to fantasize about killing and or obtaining the corpse of a horse.

Horses show up a lot. Yeah, it's weird. Why not sheep? I think horses, because there's more meat. I think it's because they're bigger. Yeah, they're bigger. I guess, and they got huge. I mean, he liked women.

I guess they had huge tits when they have milk. Oh, there's also dead horses, like, fucking everywhere in the olden times. Yeah, so yeah, I guess it's the slower in the bar. It's like when you stay at the bar, you know, it'll, it'll, four I am and it's whoever's there. And it's at the end. It's a fucking horse. Yeah. Horse walks into a bar, dies and gets fucked by a blind man. That's the end of the joke. Where did I Here I get this joke book. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha about fucking a corpse is to actually touch a corpse, which brings us to class four, the tactile Necrophile. These Necrophiles touch, stroke, or lick dead bodies to obtain full release,

but never go further than that. I would never fuck a corpse. I just pick its nose. I play with its deads a little bit, yeah, sure. But I would never fuck it. You just touch it, you stroke it. This is where you find your mortuary attendance, your EMT, your volunteer fire fires. It touch it, you stroke it. This is where you find your mortuary attendance, your EMTs, your volunteer firefighters.

It's where you always fight. That's where we find it. Your own way of volunteer firefighters. Well, it's basically anyone who's in fleeting proximity to dead bodies. That's where we were talking earlier about the EMTs, they're only in the presence of a dead body for a short period of time.

So that's where you get the touch, touch, and so on and so forth. And then you throw them in the van, shut the door, and shut the blinds. Is that nice? Yeah. That does happen. Yeah. Quite unfortunate, but it does happen.

Remember that. I don't know, I'm dead. Who cares? But some tactile micro files actually believe that since they go no further than touch, they're really not doing any harm at all. And they should be accepted for their desires. No. Yeah.

Answers, no. Answers, no. It's a hard no. You know, I get it. The cross the board, a hard no. Again, unless it's, I will talk about it, when we do our wells, must be written in documentation of, go ahead, fuck that corpse.

Yeah, or touch that corpse. Yeah, you can touch my dick and balls. That's what you want. Yeah. I mean, if you go to a funeral, technically, that core. Yeah, you can touch my dick and balls. So that's what you want. Yeah, I mean, if you go to a funeral and technically anybody who goes to the funeral can touch the corpse. I mean, it might be frowned upon if you're a stranger, but you can touch any corpse you want. Yeah, there's no log against touching a corpse. You're one of those guys who was like, can I or may I? Oh, I can do it. You should be asking should should I?

But while tactile necrophiles are a plenty in professional situations, including medical students who get erections while dissecting cadavers, some are regular joes who have to get their kicks at, as I said, funerals. One man who went by the initials WR to maintain anonymity said that he would follow obituaries, get dressed up at his Sunday best, and attend funerals where he might be able to see a dead body and maybe get in a touch or two so he could masturbate to the memory.

You know they must have had arm guards around him and the colismus, buddy. Oh yeah, man. You guys go like, like, it's like a fan of lineup. You know, you should be more, hey, one, hey, one. I can't jump the line in. But while WR did claim that he would never engage a Necrocoetus because he knew it was wrong.

He did admit after much prodding that he did fantasize about killing if the funerals in town were running a bit low that. See, this is the problem. It's not the, it's, you know, again, dress somebody up, put him in a bunch of ice, you know, like play with them, like their corpse, they're alive, and everybody's agreeing on it, you know. It's hard to get someone to agree to that. It is.

Yeah. No, sex dolls. Wouldn't they be like a good, like substitute? No. That's where you go. God, there was a whole spread on the Christmas issue last year. Evangelos magazine. But they're not filled with blood and and and common shit. Well, it's not real because part of it is the transcrash. Of course, you know, it's like, it makes it a pair of refilia, right? Yeah. What about taxidermy? like a taxidermy person with a flush light in it. It's actually extremely difficult to get that going though. Well, we'll get to that later. Okay. It's very, it's illegal to

tax a dermy a person. You can't do that. Yeah. No, but it's illegal to fuck them in 10 states. It's another way, man. Another way they were freedoms are held down. Well, on the more extreme side of things when it comes to tactile and acrophiles was a 30 year old sales clerk who went by the initial D. His thing was filating corpses. Now, there was something about abnormal filation with this guy because before corpses, he would filate bulls or so he claimed. Now, that's actually more of a stretch than anything from me personally. Yeah. Because I know from experience, the bulls are quite a handful, even when you're not trying to fillate them.

You may, however, have had access to tame bulls. You might not have minded the activity. That's the only way this would have worked. Like, at some point, if you're getting dicks sucked across the animal kingdom, you begin to calm down. Yeah. But that's the thing. The bull doesn't know you're going in to fillate it.

And also most animals don't have sex for pleasure. So it's to him. It's nothing. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. How big was this mouth? Well, a bullcock is not that. It's not as big as you think it is. It's not as big as you think it is. It's not like a horse cock. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the reason why we say horse cock instead of bullcock. Yeah. We're donkey dick. We dick donkey dick sounds gross. Yeah, bullcock sounds real awful. Yeah horsecock Sign me up. Yeah, but cow dick Weird, uh cow dick is what you call a guy who's like fucking animals I'm a whole fresh and cow dick. I'm like horsecock is my uncle Kevin. Yeah

Bullshit because my uncle Kevin. Yeah. Bullshit. But a man in your family. But a man in your family. No, we are Irish cops. But when it came to corpses, D initially had a fear of dead bodies until someone suggested that he could cure his fear through immersion therapy, i.e. touching a corpse.

That however, kicked off a whole new avenue of Felatio for our young subject. Can you even believe how many different ways I could stick? After realizing that belating corpses was his thing, he started hanging around a mortuary so he could slowly gain the trust of the undertaker. I feel bad for the undertaker. Once he made friends, this guy got access and he regularly began putting the floppy members of dead men into his mouth until he was finally caught and sentenced to three years in prison. I must tell you, D. I have never met anyone else so enthusiastic about the science of dead.

And I, oh my god, D. You're just sucking the Dicks. I told you to do their makeup and put metal rods in their spine. You're right. This is the corkscrew. You must put it into the A to keep all of the fluids from leaking. Oh, you're sucking it. I did a bad thing. Discuss it.

I feel so bad for him. Undertaker just he thought he made a friend. It's so hard for Undertaker's to make friends. I imagine so. Oh yeah, because everywhere you go, doors open without you touching up. And there's always like, dang, dang, dang, dang, an organ music playing.

Now, if you doubted my earlier statement that Necrofilia is far more complicated and nuanced than what we've been led to believe, keep in mind that we're about to talk about the fifth class of Necrofiles and we still haven't even gotten a penetrative sex. Yeah, we're at the G of the Roy G. Bid of the Rainbow of Necrophiles. Class Vs are the fetishistic Necrophiles, although the definition of fetish in this case is not its most popular usage. Instead, this is a fetish as an object, specifically a body part that has been removed from a corpse for sexual purposes.

Yes, they just like the little chunks. Guess that the other guy was slowly graduating through. Yep. These necrophiles will cut off fingers, breasts, or they pop out an eyeball for later usage. Some of them even go as far as they shave and they save a corpse as pubic hair. That should be allowed. So when me grandma's doing, wait a second. a corpse is pubic care. That should be allowed. What grandma doing? Wait a second. Some of them may grandma look sexy? It is, however, important to keep in mind that in order to be a class five, the corpse has to be already dead from something other than a Necrophile's own hand when the Necrophile mutilates.

Because then it's just mutilating a corpse. Jerry Brutos, for example, shoots right past Class V because even though he did remove breasts and keep them as fetish objects, he killed the women whose breasts he removed. Yeah, this is not about, this is not farmed a table. No, this is your go into the store. This is foraging. This is foraging. Armed a table. Yeah.

Mm hmm. Fly from North way. But the most interesting fetishistic necrophile is a man who, yes, did have sex with corpses, but did not choose body parts for his fetish object. Instead, Jean-Baptiste of Salt Lake City collected burial clothes from the corpses that he'd already buried once in the course of his job as the local grave-digger. Now, the evidence for Jean-Baptiste being a penetrative necrophile is circumstantial, but one can extrapolate from how his fetish was discovered that he probably did engage in sexual intercourse with at least one corpse before he was caught.

Yeah. See, for about three years in the late 19th century, John Baptiste was a devout Mormon. He'd been recruited by missionaries in Australia and it'd been brought to America on an LDS immigration ship. Mormons used to do that all the time. They'd go out to Australia, England, wherever they'd get a bunch of people together like, hey, you want to go to America? Great.

You can do it for free. You just got to become a Mormon and go to this place called Utah. Because remember they did that big time in the UK. Yeah. The UK was big, but they also apparently did it in Australia. Once arrived and established in Salt Lake City, Jean-Baptiste became acting choir leader for his war, and he moved into a small house near the cemetery after he was hired as a gravedicker.

And then he eventually graduated for working for Stephen Colbert. But this also put him closer to the objects of his affection. Now, Jean-Baptiste fetish might have remained a secret forever, had it not been for a criminal with the ridiculous name of Moroni Clawson. Man, that's just, that's a big like, pressure. Well, that's being named Moroni. That's a big Mormon energy.

Yeah, it's like being named Jesus Christ Sullivan. Yeah. Or I'm being named Jesus Christ Sullivan. Yeah. Or I'm an idiot. Moron, I. You don't know about, do you know about Moron, I? No. Yeah, he's the guy that delivered Mormonism to Joseph Smith. Yeah, he's the guy that brought the golden plates to Joseph Smith.

He's a major, major figure in Mormonism. Okay, cool. He's like the second, like he's like, it's a ghost. Number two behind Jesus. He's not real. Yeah. Oh, it's not real. No, no, no, no, no, he's not.

In 1862, Moroni and another man were accused of beating up the governor of Utah. That's awesome. Wow. You can get to a mechanism. Yeah, you're really good. And Moroni was shot and killed by police in the ensuing chase.

But since nobody came forward in Salt Lake City to give Moroni a proper burial, the policemen who I assume was responsible for Maroni's death and officer named Heath agreed to pay for both the burial and a new suit for Maroni to take to the afterlife. The gentleman. Yeah. Very generous. Very Mormon thing to do.

Not long after though, Maroni, Claude's family in Draper, Utah got word of his death and they requested that the body be exhumed and move to their family plot. Once the casket was unearthed, however, Claude's family saw that not only was Maroni completely naked, but he was also facing down. Yeah. Yep. Take the time to flip him over. Yeah.

Just put the clothes back on. Yeah. Well, I mean, I would imagine with this one, well, the clothes, you know, the clothes are, are all a part of it. But I'd imagine with this one, that with this was probably a, let's get it covered up. Let me get my shame covered up as fast as possible. Oh, what a lot of money. Me more once he came. Yeah, once he came. He's like, oh, oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Moroni's brother then went to complain to officer

Heath, whom he knew was responsible for the burial. And Heath was puzzled because he knew that Moronai had been buried in a suit that Heath had paid for himself. And I knew it was a special occasion, so I went on the store and I got him a birthday suit. I don't understand. So Heath and Moronai's class and brother went to the local grave diggers home to see what was what that grave digger was of course John Baptiste I have no idea what happened to his clothes I have no idea John was out digging grave when the police arrived, but while questioning John's wife Officer Heath noticed that there was a conspicuous amount of boxes containing soiled clothing stacked about the Baptist living room. Upon closer examination, it became obvious that these were the clothes

of the dead. It sounds like you just became a very, very Gothic version of a resell. Yeah. Well, now it's more of a hoarder. Yeah. Yeah, Gothic order. After counting the pieces of clothing, it was surmised that Jean Baptiste had robbed over 300 graves of their clothing. Now, there were no court records or a newspaper articles concerning Jean Baptiste punishment, but this was Salt Lake City during the reign of Brigham Young. And Young actually spoke about the Baptiste case

during a sermon that was written down. Jesus Christ. I do think it's a lot of it's got, he's more mad about the stealing. Well, it was big news in Salt Lake City. Like this is a big, big deal. It's crazy. It's bigger than fighting the governor.

Yeah. Exactly. He opened the governor. Yeah. Apparently the people of Salt Lake City wanted a hangpap teased, but young said that this would be too easy of a punishment. Yeah.

And life in prison would likewise, quote, do nobody any good. So young decided that this would be too easy of a punishment. Yeah. And life in prison would likewise, quote, do nobody any good. So young decided that the best punishment for Baptiste would be exile to a small island on the great Salt Lake where he would either survive or die. They just left him on an island? They just put the exiled into it like he was fucking Napoleon. They said no to that island.

But they could that it with a tentative. There was a house. They just put him out there and said, survivor die. But the problem with this punishment is that Fremont Island was being used by a family to graze their cows. Yeah, it's at the middle of the Pacific. It's the middle of Utah. Yeah, but it's a giant.

So this all lake is huge. It's huge. It's huge. And you need fresh water to live. Yeah, but there was fresh water there. There was a small shack on the island stocked with basic provisions. Oh, therefore within six weeks, Jean Baptiste, living off of these provisions, he dismantled the shack and used the height of a heifer that he'd killed to build a raft.

I'm going to get back to these corpse. I'm not going to fuck themselves. That raft then took Baptiste off Fremont Island. And while some claim that his skeleton was found the next year near the mouth of the Jordan River, officer Heath had it on good authority that Baptiste had made his way to a mining camp in Montana, where he'd been heard bragging about his escape to the locals. Although I do not know if he was bragging about why he was sent to the island. I think it's one of those where if you're in jail and you pull your card, you just

go, ah, well, you know, it's things got complicated. You know, it's the prequel to cast away. It's different Wilson. This is Mr. Wilson. Now, as we progress along the Necrophile classes, the bloodier the Necrophiles are going to become. That brings us to class six, the one with the coolest fucking name. That's where we find our Necromutal Omedia. This is exactly what it sounds like. I'm gonna work on my metal bass line. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, This is exactly what it's, it needs rumble. I just think adjacent news dead.

Well, that's the thing is that most metal bands here on the bass is turning pretty, I'm pretty far down. I actually like when metal has more bass, more pronounced. I like them up more pronounced bass as well. Oh yeah, there's this band soon to fucking awesome low-fi stuff. They call Poison Run. They got this album called Harvest. So fucking good.

I'm gonna look at anybody out there that's in Poison ruin that listens to the fucking Joe. Get a hold of us. I fucking, I love what you do. Yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah. Well, Necro mutalo maniacs are exactly what they sound like. And while they are disturbing and violent, they again only commit these acts on cadavers that have died from some means other than murder at the Necro mutalo maniacs hand.

You doing good with the word. Thank you. I'm not from mutalo maniac. I You're doing good with the word. Thank you. I'm not from Mute Lomaniacs. I mean, it rolls off the tongue. It does. It's because, well, what you got to do, you got to make a little song of it like Necro Mute Lomaniacs, Necro Mute Lomaniacs. I did that for quite a long time yesterday.

Marcus, you want some pumpkin pie? Necro Mute Lomaniacs. We all love that. We just love you successful and Los Angeles. Tomo, oh God, Tom. That grew me up. Yeah, yeah, man. Oh, God, Tom. No, no, no, man.

I get it. I get it. Well, the worst of these that I read about was again in France. There, a young man discovered the dead body of his mother after her sudden death. Almost immediately, he had sexual intercourse with the body, then pushed his arm deep inside

through the vagina. He broke through to her abdominal cavity where he grabbed onto a handful of intestines and pulled out two meters' work. He then went back in and grabbed the liver, F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f- out and he fell asleep wrapped in his mother's intestines. When he woke up, he was quite stupified in his words over what he does. And while he was examined by a doctor, he was never charged with a crime nor was he ever confined to an asylum. They just were like, all right, you can't do this again. I only got one mother. Oh my god, we're gonna be together. I love me. Yeah, what am I gonna do? What do you want? Now, do you think you loved her too much or not at all?

Oh, too much. I'd say too much. Yeah. Yeah, if you're following asleep wrapped in your mother's intestines, yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna have some edgine vibes. Cause my knees gave them a pass. Yeah, I think so. They're gonna be like, well, he loves his mother.

Well, I think the, the memory, they figure like maybe the memory of what he's done is going to be bad enough. You're live with that. Takes a pictures. You know, so he sees. I don't know what you're looking like. Right. But this guy is absolutely a class six, but he could also be put into class seven, that of the opportunistic net graphile. These are people who like having sex with the living but would absolutely have sex with the corpse

if given the chance. These are your world class perverse. This is the anything goes group. You do covenies. Yeah, you do covenies. You do covenies. You do covenies of McAfeeley. And this includes who else,

but disgraced UK media personality and all around monster, Sir Jimmy Savo. Now we've been begged many times to do a series on Jimmy Savile. And I think that's going to be a case of be careful what you wish for. One day, I do want to do it, but it is rough. It's real rough. And for those of you who don't know, because Eddie didn't know who Jimmy Savile was before the show. Yeah.

It is important to know. Remember, Jimmy Savile was an extremely popular media personality in the UK up until his death into 2011. A cultural institution. Yes, he was huge. He had a show called Jimmy'll fix it. Where Jimmy'll fix it, where he would, you know, kids would come on and he would, they would have some extravagant wish and he'd make it real. He also was like deeply involved in the UK's government. He had all of these various charitable associations. He was everywhere. And then it turned out he was an absolutely rampant, sadistic pedophile.

Every single thing that he did was all feeding into his sexual deviance. Yes, everything. But now what we now have discovered, all of these fun cheeky ass jokes that he made about all these things that he did, now you kind of relook at stuff and you're like, oh, he might have been absolutely serious. Well, he was hiding in plain sight the entire time. He was absolutely serious. And, and but that's the thing is that people still knew, I mean, how back in like, I think it was like 1978, 79, like Johnny Rotten went on the BBC and said, like,

you guys know Jimmy Savils, like a horrific monster, right? He's a pedophile. He got banned from the BBC for years from that. He was important. He knew the fucking queen. Yeah, he was a sir second night on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were dog in the French, but this our second time. Europe is gone. She's got some tastes. Mm-hmm. Well, Savils told hospital staff at Broadmore Hospital where he quote unquote, volunteer. And this is an example of him, like say, just saying shit.

And people only later realizing like, oh, he was being serious. Or he might have been, I mean, who knows, but he was definitely was in this guy's, under the guys that he was joking. He's a funny guy. He told them that he posed with corpses and loot positions, took selfies with them and stole their jewelry. He also had a really horrific Christmas song called Jingle Jangle Jewelry. That's what we were doing at the top. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's what we were doing at the top. Yeah.

Come and suck me, clean curse. Yeah, come and suck me, clean curse. Joker, check it out. Me Charlie hole. Lovely, lovely, jingle jingle, jingle, jewelry time to chuck your muck over your sister's jubbles. Yeah, chuck in your muck, I think is it's the worst euphemism for coming. Yeah, I'm a sister's tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's about Christmas song. You know, the it's called out. It's giving some nice warm. Come on.

See, Savile was friends with the chief mortician at the Leeds General in Fermory Marchewary, and that mortician gave Savile unsupervised access to the dead for 20 years. One nurse claimed that Savile would sometimes perform oral sex on corpses, and act that Savile disgustingly called Gamaroo. So he sucked enough corpse dick to have a nickname for it? No, he just called oral sex in general Gamaroo. Yeah. And he took it as suck a dick or even a mouth.

You think it was a yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's pretty common amongst Necrophiles. They start with the Cundlingus. Okay, yeah. Yeah, they just bury fucking faces right in there. Why do I feel like, hmm, that end with Conolingus. You end with Conolingus?

I can feel it filled with your comb. Yeah. Well, it depends on what you do. I just, yeah. So you would end it in Conolingus. You not feel that Conolingus is a more intimate exercise than just penetrative sex. I feel like it is.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. I feel like just going deep, nose deep into a fucking dead woman's corpse into a vagina. It's like not as more intense in fucking. I think so. Yeah. Touching boobies is probably the first way, first, the, the morning. Yeah, that's where you, yeah, you start with that. I imagine that's where everyone goes. No, I like to bathe in my corpse. No, I like to bathe in my corpse. No, I like to bathe in my clothes. If I don't eat them, I'm gonna be like, they lift me alone. No, I like to bathe in my clothes. Can I brush your hair and then I play the violin

for a couple hours? Oh, yeah. You'd be like an Egyptian. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there was, there is, I will dispell a rumor. Some, there is, there was a rumor going around that, you know, ancient Egyptians used to have a ritual to keep, you know, the embalmers from having sex with the

dead. They would just make sure like, okay, let them decompose for a few days before you really get, let the embalmers around them, because sometimes they'll, you know, they'll fuck the dead. But that's not true. That's like having a creepy uncle where you like it. Don't let the kids near your uncle beater, but he's hilarious. Yeah. He's to fuck the cats. The Egyptians are saying the down think they ever fucked the cats. I don't think the LPL a Gmail.com the ancient Egyptians fuck cats. If any of our Egypt harsh system there, I don't know if they fuck.

I don't know the item. I don't know if we can tell. I don't know if it's any any higher glyphics out there. Yeah, we'll find out. Another witness said that Safa would brag about stealing glass eyes from corpses. And while showing them off, you would say quote, you know, they are the glass eyes from dead bodies and leads. Oh, we'll do bodies around at night and all of that.

Mm hmm. Yeah. And he says these things and I guess I feel like people thought, at the time, I mean, it's extreme. You start about mutilating corpses and stuff. So you think like, oh, Jimmy, that's all your old. Oh, Jimmy is, is how you're being cheeky on in it. And then, you know, I think you just might not have been.

And he got away with it completely scot free. It didn't come out until after he died. Yeah, he passed it all down to Jimmy Carr. But, oh, oh, oh, oh, but he,

well, you said, we said the same hotel as him once and he looked very perturbed the entire time. You look very upset. Yeah. I hung out with him a bunch. He's all right. Eight out of 10 cats is a good show. I never saw it.

It's a good, it's in England. It's like a, you know, panel show. It's quite, it's quite, it's quite a cat's or no, it's a whole plant. It's one of those panel shows, you know, all the brits have fallen. And you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, they copulate with this is literally read an hour and change into the episode and we just got to fucking a corpse. It is a rainbow. I know. It's a very good. Yeah. They do, however, go to great lengths to obtain these corpses, which separates them from class sevens. One class eight admitted that he would attend funerals and pose as a mourner. So he could get a

good look at the corpse to make sure that she was, quote, unquote, worth digging up later. It's very Mr. Beanie. I'll be like, oh, yeah. Mm. Yeah. Well, but the necrophile who has the most famous, quote, attached to him is yet another Frenchman named Henri Blas,

aka the vampire of Sanloir. Now Blat, a young parrhythm waiter by day, wasn't actually that prolific because he got caught after only a second corpse. But Blat became famous for what he's sitting court after the judge expressed his horror concerning Blat's actions. from records, plot said, gobulebou, chakou, assépação, molecabdabre, selamien.

Translated to English, in which Henri sounds much different. That means... What do you want? We all have different designs, minds corpses!

Soome! Henri turned in the head. Another more prolific So me. Honor, you turned in the head. Another more prolific Necrophile yet again, French was Victor Ardenson, the vampire of me, who is captured in 1901. Perhaps the most disgusting

Necrophile will cover today, but the land on this one is saying a lot. So this is the worst. This is the worst. Yeah, it's close to it. I'd sell. There's a couple.

This one I would say, well, let me, I'll refresh your memory on this guy. And I think by the time we get to the end, you may agree with me that this one is the grossest one. I'm not fighting. Well, perhaps the most disgusting Necrophile will cover today. Vector was aroused by a number of parapherelias, including kids, incest, blood drinking, and particularly big urine fam. Oh, it should be the vampire of pee. Instead of me, vampire of pee.

It's very good. It's very, very good. Supposedly, when he was a young boy, he would lick the urine from the toilet seats of his classmates while masturbating in fuel view of anyone who cared to watch. Damn, higher of pee. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He also drank his own semen after masturbation, saying, quote, it's a pity to let it go to waste. Yeah. Not a charmer in the bunch. But, Fran, so they use semen as coffee cream. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they make it into cheese. Now, in 1882, the town grave digger died. And since there were only four or five burials a month in Victor's town, it wasn't a well-paying job. That's why it went to Victor Ardinson's

stepfather, Onoré Ardinson. And Onoré often took Victor, then 10 years old, out on the job. Years later though, after On Array had a frightful experience in which he fell into a grave in her disfoot and couldn't get out, the town decided to give the job to the local deviant, Victor Arthonson. I'll do it. Arlene! Thank you!

He grew into the profession. He'd been going out with his father for years. I knew I would do it. Thank you. He grew into the profession. He'd been going out with his father for years. No, for the next few years, Victor would violate over 100 corpses. Now, Victor did have some aspects of a romantic necrophile, as he would often talk to the corpses he had sex with and would be genuinely upset when they didn't talk back. Don't act like I am not talking to you. That's what you's watching. Just like you were in the cemetery just like.

He also became a bit of a cemetery pest, asking mourners from what disease the recently deceased had died. He didn't want to catch anything. Yeah, and it's curious. It's curious and he's just, you know, so far the most responsible. Yeah, he should ask the question. More than anything though, Victor was also a horrific Necro Mutalo maniac. In one case, he dug up the recently deceased corpse of a 13 year old girl, but upon finding her body too heavy to carry back home,

he detached the head with the help of a pocket knife and kept the head at his stepfather's house. This is a part of the things they don't talk about with. I think we talk a little bit with the series and on the book with Edgene, but how physically strong you kind of have to be to be a grave robber. Yeah, it's really difficult. You know, he needed to work on like,

he needed to do some like deadlifts. I mean, carrying a hundred pounds of dead weights, really difficult. Yeah, they were all deadlifts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, in the first ones. Well, he then kept the head for kissing purposes until a putrified and neighbors began to complain of the smell.

Sorry, it's my girlfriend. She's from France. And his most disgusting venture. And this is where I think he gets put on top. Victor disinterred the corpse of a toddler and used it for so-called oral sex until the body completely putrified into goo. According to Victor, he was hoping that he would bring the corpse back to life by having sex with it.

But this corpse was also the one that got Victor caught. I don't think it's good. No. Since he couldn't bear to get rid of the toddler's corpse, he kept it in the attic and neighbors began to complain of the smell. For some reason though, on array, Victor's stepfather was also keeping garbage in the attic. So he assumed that was the source of the odor. Yeah, but a rotting toddler, not that I know. But I don't think it smells like garbage. No, it smells like any other thing, anything, any kind of rotting flesh.

Yeah. Yeah. But when he entered the attic to remove said garbage at the urging of his neighbors, he discovered the remains of the toddler lying on a straw bed that Victor had made himself. Honoré did not, however, immediately recognized the small pile of putrifying flesh as a corpse. Since the attic was dark, Honoré assumed that the corpse was some kind of animal. So he struck it with a shovel and splattered the remains all over the room and himself. You got to check the whole old man. No, I mean, why is he keeping garbage in the attic?

He doesn't know anything. I'm just surprised he could still get upstairs. I mean, he wasn't that old. He was in his 50s. Oh, okay. He was randomly whacked and something with a shovel. And also Victor Ardinson, like he, he wasn't born in a vacuum. He came from a long line of psychopaths and deviants. Yeah, everyone's fucked up.

All of the Ardinson's were fucked up. Yeah, they're hoarding garbage. Yeah, they're hoarding garbage in the attic. And it's, it's straight. And this is the, in the days when garbage is just, right, it's just rotting. Yeah, fish heads and shit. Yeah, yeah.

But once on a ray realized what it was that he had thwacked with the shovel, he reported it to the authorities and Victor was placed under arrest. To my previous point, it was soon discovered that the vampire of me had no sense of taste or smell. Yeah, I mean, I could tell by his shirt. He also showed no sign of remorse or regret, although he did promise to never have sex with a dead body ever again.

I promise. And that's as good as Jim. Pfft. That promise, however, was not good enough. Victor Artisan was sentenced to life in a psychiatric hospital where he died in 1944, a 71 years old, 43 years after he was captured. Man, never had a boring time in the lunchroom.

That's for certain. And every time you sat by him, he had something horrible to say. Yeah, so far he's bad. Yeah, he's an institution. I mean, that's, he's kind of like, how Ed Gien was after Gien was captured. He lived for another 30 years in an institution.

Yeah. And they all said, I actually tell, do I ever tell you that I had a listener that we, I was, I was, the, it's an email we're talking about that was, had worked with Ed Geen, who's family. I believe father was, was working with him. It's like one of the, the mental asylum, like assistance, they're like,

Yeah. And he was apparently very sweet. Everyone said he was a model. Edgine was like the sweetest guy around. He looked as a model. Yeah, he did. He did. Again, he loved her too much.

He didn't, he never fucked his mother. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. He was inside of her tits. I think it's enough. He never, he never dug up his mother. I've told you this like dozens of times. He never dug up his mother. I'm not getting in there.

Ever. He was too afraid of her. So he never buried her. No, she was buried. Yeah, she was in the, she was in church. He would then go after people that look like his mother. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He dug up the grave next to his mother. Okay. Now, and then the woman he killed looked dug up the grave next to his mother. Okay. Yeah. And the woman he killed looked like kind of looked like a gentleman. Yeah. No, it's easy to see how Victor Ardison could have made the jump from Necrophilia to murder. And that brings us to class nine, the type of Necrophile that we're all most familiar with.

These are the homicidal Necrophiles, your bundes, your donors and such and such. And they look down on the other classes. Yeah, because these guys may be making their own bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I make opportunities for myself. Yeah. But for an example of this type, we're gonna go for a lesser known criminal

from the UK named David Fulver. See, I put him near the top of like the idea of your full necrophiliac, right? Like he is fully ne a necrophilia and he's also he is a murderer, but those are kind of like he started with murder. Yeah. And then just was like, this is a lot for me. I just like these fucking I just got these corpses. And then I will say like, it's got to be a lot to see yourself.

He would did this. There's a documentary called Monster in the morgue, David Fuller. And there's a lot of like footage of him and kind of what he was talking about and Just that poster of like you never want to find yourself on a poster for a movie. No where it's you outside of a morgue like Like with a smile on it because nothing happened good. No, but yeah, you didn't get the Heisman You know what I mean if you're the monster of the morgue. Well sounds like he did get the Heisman. You know what I mean? If you're the monster of the more, well, sounds like he did get the Heisman of killing. You know what I was saying? Just just having sex, of course. Now, while David did kill two women in 1987 and separate attacks in their homes to do with the bodies, what he would, he wasn't caught for the crimes until the

year 2020 when DNA finally matched him to the crime scene. I think it was one of those, was it one of those sort of like 23-amigas, like how they caught the original night stock? Yes, that's how they got. Yeah. When police searched his home computer though, they found a massive trove of images that captured his many crimes against the dead.

Yeah. See, Fuller had access to the local hospital more. He was in a electrician. Yeah. And his hard drive was filled with over four million images of obscene and illegal acts, including thousands of pictures of him performing sexual offenses on corpses, ranging in ages from nine to a hundred. And they tried to get him on B.

Who's married multiple times. He was married. He cheated on his wife, which is also really interesting because I also think like that's one of his biggest Doltary. Amen. I mean, yeah, you know, I can think about that. You can't even stay loyal to your wife And you're also fucking multiple corpses. Baitful married men all three here. Yeah, that's it. It keeps us that's a big this whole the line, but He hid his His hard drives filled with this stuff in a like like he had a desk, was against a wall

and he carved a hole in the wall. So the hard drives would go, they were in a pocket, they were put behind a desk, and the hard drives would go up against a thing. They finally went in, they got a full, like, you know, they talked to his family, fully kind of like, quote unquote, normal life. He would do all the stuff, but it was just, it was, you know, pedophilia, yeah, bestiality. It was all of it in one go. He was busy.

Yeah. He was sending it to Ben Laden. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just go ahead and say, yes, yes, yes he was. David also kept meticulous records of each victim, detailing the name and age of each one, which helped police identify no less than 80 victims.

It's one of the worst parts of them trying to identify everything. I said, you had to find, you basically had to watch the video of him fucking a corpse. Yeah. And then you had to try to capture, like this is what the cops were talking about, when the camera would catch a toe tag or catch an identifying mark because he was also new. It was a lot of like, honest face. face. Like, I'm about to arrive. And then back to corpse, like, you know, like it was, it wasn't great. It wasn't good.

It's cinematography. It was more like a found footage film. It was for him. Yeah. Well, they asked him, they were like, why did you film this? And he just like, you know, he sat and thought he was like, I don't know. I'm sure those cops saved a lot of lunch that year.

You guys want to get another sweet grief? Oh, you got. Ironically though, Fuller was able to carry on his photography hobby for so long because he knew which parts of the morgue were covered by CCTV in which ones weren't. So he was able to continue taking pickers of himself committing unspeakable acts on corpses just so long as he stayed out of the site of the hospital's cameras. But when it comes to being a little too on the nose,

David Fuller was also the, quote unquote, unofficial photographer for the UK band Cutting Crew in the mid 80s. Now David followed Cutting Crew on tour with his wife, which is strange considering how they were a one hit wonder. But that number one spoke to David in a way that say, rock me amadeus, two of hearts, or any other 1986 hit could. This is David's song.

I just died on your arms tonight That's such a horrible shit I just died on your arms tonight I'm gonna walk away Yeah, yeah, that makes sense Yeah, I've seen the video for this Yeah, it's great You think he's in because the video is just them Photographing the band

Been the video shot in Australia. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. Why that saw? I mean, I know that I just died in your arms. Yeah, you like that. They died hours ago. Yeah, I mean, I think you just liked someone dying

in someone's arms and it being a romantic must band son of a sad. But I thought I should have walked away. Whoa. Yes. Gilt. Gilt, gilt. Now after class nine, you have the final category, the class 10.

That is the exclusive necrophile, which is that's actually the name of the magazine. It's not angular. It's going to be exclusive. It's the exclusive necrophile. That's the kind that can't have any sexual experience with the living and must exclusively use the dead for their sexual needs. It's a gold star Necrofile.

Yeah, these are the rares. This is your Andre Chicatillo's. You're the red ripper. Yeah. He's a class 10. He literally couldn't get hard unless they were dead. Yeah, okay. But instead of cover.

You should read the book. I wrote a whole chapter. I'll show you. Did you read the book? I wrote a whole chapter. I like the coloring book. Did they come in? We like, I paint all these little uteruses pink, right? I'm but instead of covering chickatillo, yet again, if you want to know about chickatillo,

you can go read the last book on the left. We're all chapter. We don't need to cover chickatal again. We don't. I put that band behind me. We thought that we'd leave you with one of the nicer Necrophilic stories, relatively speaking. Okay. We're going to go all the way back to class two, the Romanic Necrophiles for the story of Carl Tensler. This is again, if you think you're in love, I don't know if you are. Yeah. Karsler is a very necrophilia. Yeah.

Class day. A really. Well, his real name is Carl von, it was, it's a, that's what he was known as, but Carl von Kosen. Yeah. Well, Tansler was his like American name because he was German. German immigrant. He was a radiologist in his mid 50s.

He had immigrated to Florida, set up in Key West. That's a great, but it's a lot of Germans moving forward. Yeah, there's so many extra people in Key West. You can get, you people just disappear all the time. Oh, yeah. Well, this is back in 1931. Oh, so we knew Hemingway. Yeah.

Yeah. He bet him and Hemingway. God, they definitely got hammered one night. Best buddies. See, that's how many doses you can. Yeah. Well, he began working at a local tuberculosis ward and it was there that he became obsessed with a 22 year old Cuban tuberculosis patient named Maria Elena Milagro de Hoyos. Tanzler had arrived in America five years earlier with his family.

They had settled in Zephyl. You know Zephyl? It's the spring water. Oh, cool. Yeah, but don't buy the Zephyl spring water. It's Nestle brand. They Nestle owns it. They're just stealing the water and sell it it back to us. Those fucking sons of bitches ruining the good name of Zephyl along with Chancellor. Well, he's not helping. But, Chancellor soon left his wife and child behind to romantically pursue the young dying

Cuban. Now there's no word on Alainus' feelings concerning any of this, but we do know that Tansler showered her with jewelry, clothing, and affection for 18 months until she finally succumbed to tuberculosis. Please, will you please stop giving me my glasses? And bring me medicine. I do not need more chocolate. What I need is medicine.

I do not know why you keep doing this. This death, however, did not in Tansler's obsession. Finally. Using his own money, Tansler built a massive mausoleum for Elena de Hoyos and preserved her body in formaldehyde. For the next two years, he visited her corpse to talk to it and even went so far as to install a working telephone in the mausoleum to complete the fantasy that she might one day call back. Now, this is not that bad yet. Can I ask a question?

Sure. So was she like a big jar? I'm like, we're just going to talk for a moment. Yeah, basically. Like, you know, I don't think no, she wasn't in a big jar. She was a no. Did she just fill the coffin with some maldehyde? I think you just like dabbed her with some maldehyde.

Oh, okay. I don't know for sure. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but I don't think it was in a big jar. But it wasn't know for sure. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, but I don't think it was in a big jar, but it wasn't like a honey. Either way, she wasn't in there long. No, she was in there for two years. And so hot down there too.

And inside an unventilated mausoleum in Key West. Oh my God. And he went there almost every day. Yeah, and he finally, well, maybe that's why he finally decided to cut the commute and he brought the body to his own home. The corpse though had decomposed past the point of recognition because it's fucking Florida. Body's decomposed.

Best. Oh, yeah, buddy. Oh, and if you look at her too, wow, you look at her, ho. Well, beautiful makeup job. Yeah. Well, Tansler effectively restored the body. Using piano wire and coat hangers to keep the corpse's bones together, Tansler also gave it glass eyes and a wig. Ah, there you are!

Ah, your corpse are restored. The rotted skin was replaced with silk, and the putrified organs were removed and replaced with rags. The piece that are as these stones was a paper tube that replaced the vagina, so Tansler could have sex with the corpse. I don't know. If you've these paper straws or anything like that tube, who cares about the turtle? I would imagine he would have to replace it with fair regularity.

Oh, I see it is your time with the mop. This went on for seven years until a lane assist sister finally discovered what Tansler had been doing to Elena's corpse. The sister reported Tansler to the police and the body was buried in an unmarked grave while Tansler was in jail. Also, he could never find and disturb the body ever again. This, however, didn't stop the fantasy. Tansler replaced the corpse with a life-sized doll replica of Elena using her death mask, and he lived with it until his death in 1952. What's up, Pat? See, that's what they all should be doing.

He seems like the most tame of everybody. Well, I mean, he did steal and defile the corpse of a woman who may or may not have been extremely annoyed with his constant advances. We don't know. I didn't say it was great. I mean, I get it. That's why it's a charmer. That's why it's a relatively sweet.

It's definitely sweet compared to the guy who ripped his mother's guts out through her abdominal wall. Actually, I understand that too. In a way. Well, just going to be sad. Easy as sad. Well, let's leave you with the seemingly romantic words of Karl Tansler, which show the depths of his madness.

Long I lay thus, holding her clothes sleet to me, the living unsaid, united in love. The sweetness of this was divine. Never had I dreamt that she had preserved so sweet and intense love for me after being in the grave so long Was it possible? I could hardly grasp or believe it but here was the undeniable evidence Life and death united together I To I

Cool, oh, yeah, yeah, man. You never write we got to write something to Julie now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. You never write. We got to write something to Julie now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah. Meet you at Sloppy Joe's. How I love your boobies and the way I get access to that. Wow. Yeah. That's an microphalia. Good work, man. I was

really excited about this topic. I think we really we really did it. I think we did it. Yeah, that's an acrophilia. Not good work, man. I was really excited about this topic. I think we really, we really did it. I think we did it. Like you mentioned it to me yesterday and I felt the same way. I'm Pleasantly not that upset. Yeah, right? You know what it is again. We talked about this is that when I don't care where you do my corpse. I don't fucking it's a body is trash. Yeah, but it's just more like then you got to deal with that guy Yeah, like it's the guy. It's not behavior you want to encourage. Like you really want, we want, I think that's the thing about the laws is that it's just we just want to know, we don't want guys having sex with corpses in a society in general.

We just don't want that to happen. Yeah, because I don't mind. Again, I believe that we are overpoliced. And we are over punished. But I think that in this case, they might need to make an example out of some of these guys. It needs to be discouraged. Disgurage. It needs to be greatly discouraged.

Which is why we're gonna do it, do it in Oklahoma where it is like, we're gonna do it. They need to be sprayed with, you know, you keep a cap. You gotta spray, get the lemon juice on the corpse or something. Some days it's not going to be hit you.

Spray with X body spray, make it not smell like a corpse. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, maybe yes, some of them do have a good sense of smell and they like the smell of that. They do have some of them do. And some of them do. That's what's your name greenly talked about how she liked the smell of the corpse.

And she only liked it when the fucking blood was coming out of the mouth. I was her version of coming. Yeah. Well, I'm glad we live it like that. Now we have a lot of shit coming down the fucking pipe next week. We're going to announce our new brand of coffee. It is going to be it's fucking tasty. I made it for my mother this morning and she straight up said, and we told him, it's like

I've got to say, this is very delicious coffee. And then she proceeded to put four sweet and low in it. And so she did, but she did originally taste it. Yes. It was very, very good. I'm very excited. And we're not coffee snobs here. You can have your coffee, are we?

Oh, yeah. But you know what's the thing? I like it just with milk. Should we really be advertising food right now? It's coffee. Coffee is very food safe. Yeah, it's not like it's last podcast in the left. Stroganoff. Yeah, it's not like his last podcast on the left. Stroganoff.

Yeah, that would be a difficult sell. You know, jarged stroganoff. I think it'd be good to hide a body in a bunch of coffee beans. Yeah, yeah, coffee and coffee grounds. Yeah, actually, it's a great idea. Yeah. Well, let's ask Columbia. Yeah, so how much coffee do you have for sale?

10 million pounds. But then we also have operations on China. It is now out. It is released. Next week, operations on China. Number two is going to come out to your local comic store going to check it out. Go check it out.

And then we just reminded everyone we are for certain coming to Australia next summer. We're going to figure out what that is. I don't know what it is, but that's just the beginning of a bunch of new shit. We're very, very excited. Oh, fuck else. Yeah, I mean, we just got, I that's just the beginning of a bunch of new shit. Very, very excited. Uh, the fuck else. Yeah.

And we just got, I mean, just all kinds of cool shit going on. Don't forget to a, streams. Don't forget to go to twitch.tv and slash LPN TV. We have a new address for our Twitch channel. It's twitch.tv slash LPN TV. Yes.

So we got no dogs in space every other Monday. Good putt is coming back. We're going to do another good putt right before we leave for our little Thanksgiving break November 16th and Starting this week the last stream on the left is going to be moving time So if you out there in the you know east coast or beyond If the last time is too late for you. We're now going to be doing it at 6 p.m. PST Yes 9 p.m. Est so I imagine we can have a lot more people watching it live. Go join our Patreon if you want to watch that live It's a good time. There's a bunch of people in the chat. It's a lot more fun interacting people live

So come on out take it out come see the show Watch us do the episode on Patreon as well. Yes, right you'll see all the videos of us slapping around Fucking around being like a big idiot slap it around, fucking around, being in fucking big idiots. Every other Wednesday, bread or side on LPN TV, and LPN in Brea. On November 17th and 18th, opening for Jeff Ross. So come check it out. I'm doing a nice, healthy set.

So come check it out. That's him. Is that the brain, bro? Yes, the brain. Yeah, go check it out, man. I don't think they do comedy anywhere else in Brea. No, no, no, the rest of it's just angry people about the vaccine. Yeah. Well, hell, say it. No, no, no, no. The rest of it's just angry people about the vaccine.

Yeah. Well, Hell's Taiten. Oh, Hageem. And I love all of you. Hails me. I just, the ones that have sex, dead people. See, we're looking at you, volunteer firemen. We're looking at you.

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