Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 559: Survival in the Andes Part III - Still Alive

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

This week the boys reach the end of the journey for the 16 remaining passengers of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571, who after spending 72 treacherous days stranded in freezing temperatures, would find eventual rescue thanks to the amazing resilience of their fearless leader Nando Parrado.

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So, guys, okay. It's 2023. Yeah? We're gonna do the and these talents. Okay, we're gonna eat nothing, but raw meat and sucks. Okay. That's wonderful. Hey man, honestly, you sound, we're heading into Rogan territory.

Because he definitely does the full carnivore diet, which I think is a mistake. Yes. Because also, I'm a person who's got a really high-trike glycerides. So I feel like one of the main issues with eating nothing but human meat might be the fat content of your body. If you have some form of lipid malfunction, you can't absorb a lipid.

It's going to be bad out there when you're eating lipida. In the Andy's challenge, you can't absorb a lipid. It's gonna be bad out there when you're eating Lapida in the Andy's challenge you can eat whatever meat you want. It doesn't have to be human meat That's what I'm saying is that the carnivore challenge real Andy's challenge. Yeah, yeah real Andy's challenges You've got a fawn it's found human meat If you're or you fight a condor That's a good Andy's challenge Or you fight a condor That's you see that's a good antie's challenge Let's put it here we can put out a bunch of dead meat and it fight birds for it. Welcome to last box

I'm a laze in gentlemen. I'm fighting a buzzard. My name's Marcus Parks here with him. He's a brosky You fucking fight my buzzard and Larsen I'm eating buzzard Why don't they gang up on the condors because they said they they were weak. I know they were weak, but you know, like just to kill something for fun. Condors are incredibly large. And so ugly. Yeah, they're really all the Carian birds are ugly.

Although I do find vultures to have an ugly beauty on themselves. Yeah, of course. This might be, I like a face with character. People don't like when we talk like this, but I feel like birds are easy to kill Certain birds are I feel the birds attacking you and it's like I think it's easier to get at it's fucking head And it's just kind of break its neck

Like fucking smash your head is a ho ho yeah, but then they got the the claws. That's the problem Yeah, you're getting jack up while you're going, but you still win the fight. This is a cassowary if it's a cassowary You're fucking dead. Yeah, dude. I saw a bald eagle recently at Daliwood. That thing was fucking like half the size of a human. It's very long. But it's also scavenger. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is isn't it?

Yeah, it's a poultry bird. Mm-hmm. And now it's Benjamin Franklin wanted our national bird to be a turkey. Stole word. I mean, much better word. Huge tits. And the best t word. I mean, much better bird. Huge tips. Yeah.

The best hits. It's like he like. Yeah. So when we last left the 16 people stuck at the top of the world, Nando Parado, Roberto Canessa, and Antonio Vizentine, AKA Tintin, had volunteered to take the more difficult route west to hopefully reach the green fields of Chile, where they hope they would find human civilization.

Loaded up with the makeshift sleeping bag, Carlitos had made along with a rugby sock filled with enough human flesh for 10 days. The three expeditioners solemnly said goodbye to the 13 people they left behind, knowing they'd either see them again soon, or they would all be dead. That's a good way to do the Andes challenge is that it's only you can only eat as much as you can fit into a sock. Exactly. That's what I brought up the socks. Yeah. Yeah. You shove it through. That's all you eat all day. And it's got to be a rugby sock too. No fucking stockings. No Christmas stockings. I'm rugby socks are long. That's true. They go up your calves. That is true.

Did they sew any skin onto the sleeping bag? true. They go up your calves. And that's true. Did they sew any skin onto the sleeping bag? No. No, no, no, no. It was just our plane installation. In a touching moment, Nando handed Carlitos a red baby shoe that Nando's mother had bought him in Doza for her grandson. Nando told Carlitos that he would keep the other one and when they came back, they would have a pair once more.

And that's of course the baby is born with one leg. So who's got a, Nando as a kid? No, it's a sister. Oh, sister's kid. So he's got a nephew back home. Yeah, he's got a sister nephew and his father. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah.

Then just before walking away into the wild, Nando turned back to Carlitos and gave the group permission to eat the bodies of his mother and sister if they ran out of food. Carlitos agreed, but only as a last resort. Thank you, Nando. Now, tragically, there had been a hotel for rheumatoid patients like 18 miles east

of the crash site this entire time. There was a hotel. A hotel. Right down the mountain. Well, you know, I don't think they burnt all the cash. So they're working to be able to get a room. Can you imagine showing up and like, you have a debit card? We can't let you in unless we have a card to put on file.

There's a danger outside though. It's Christmas. And this was, of course, you know the other direction Roberto had wanted to go, but any Trek east would have been stopped by a giant, impassable river before they reached the hotel. So West was the way to go no matter what. They couldn't reach the hotel. It was just a tragedy that there was a hotel 18 miles away. It's just wild.

The hotel life works. Now, as we said in the first episode, the survivors were completely wrong as to where they believe they were in the Andes. They were at twice the elevation and they were much further east near the middle of the mountain range. But simply, even the most experienced of mountaineers wouldn't have attempted what Roberto, Tentan and Nando were about to do without an arsenal of supplies, months of training, and more equipment than they knew what to do it. But that's the strength to be a young dumb, full of come, and we're ready to go out there and do whatever it takes.

Yep. I thought we established they weren't full of come. Well, they, we don't know. No one talked about come results in conclusive. Inclusive. Yeah. But as for 1010 Roberto and Nando, they'd been near starvation for months. They had only the crudest of tools and wildly inadequate clothing. Hell, 1010 and Roberto,

they'd never even seen snow before the crash. This just reminds of me of when we started to do and podcast. We had no idea. Yeah. Well, in the living fuck we were doing. I mean, I had an idea. I'd been in broadcasting for like 10 years by that. I heard that story fucking a decade. I'm just saying, get your story straight. I knew what I was doing. I've heard this story a long time. I'm willing to say I knew nothing.

Okay, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Appreciate that. How do you think all of this happened? Because I already knew what to do. It's because it was there. The only thing I've learned is to not breathe this heavy into the microphone. I did have to tell you that. It's still there. Thank you.

Yeah, yeah. And there are still plenty because we used to have to record everything on just one track. So there was no way to cut out heavy, heavy breathing. And we were so hammered to. You could hear the beer leave your breath. Also, I was empty of cup. He was. But by some miracle, they made it through inch by inch. Ironically, since they were so inexperienced, they often chose the hardest roots to climb. For example, Nando thought the shortest path was west, so he used a point with a sunset behind the ridges as a path.

This of course led them up the mountains steepest and most dangerous slope. If they were more experienced, they would have gone for the less challenging climb. Now, had they been experienced climbers, they would have also used steel anchors, driven into the rock and ice and crampons on their shoes would ensure a firm grip. And as it was, they had nothing and they had rugby shoes that had been soaking in the snow for two months. They're insane. And then I was, I got into that eulie guy. I've been talking about this competitive free solo climber. These guys are fucking nuts.

But he's the guy that would have done the most difficult route on purpose. Yeah. Because again, I think he just wants to die. And these guys also have like girlfriends and stuff. Yeah. We show up and there's always some lady being like, I know that one day he'll settle down and be like, no, dude, he lives his whole life trying to be murdered by a fucking mountain. He's not going to marry you.

Do you see free solo? Yeah. You're waiting for the day when they just don't come back. He's not going to marry you. He's in love with the mountain. Yeah, and don't say down. Okay. Thank you. Additionally, if they were experienced climbers,

they would have known that they should only climb a thousand feet a day to prevent altitude sickness. But Nando, ever the eager beaver, he climbed 2500 feet in five hours and suffered from incredible headaches and an inability to fill his lungs. He had altitude sickness. Bad.

It's like the bends. It's radio heads. So he left everyone behind. Yeah, like he would just fucking go and he'd be like, catch up to me when he can. Like I'm just gonna fucking go. This whole thing is kind of like a radio head album. It'd be cool.

They should do that. I would say that when we were driving through that snowy pass between Seattle and Spokane, I did listen to Kite and it was perfect. This is very Kite. This is very Kite. Yeah. They were high and wet.

That's the P of high and dry. Oh, I get it. But even after the 2500 feet, the summit was no closer than when they'd started because the sheer size of these mountains create optical illusions concerning how close landmarks are. You have no idea how far away something is because you have no idea how big something is. But focusing on one rock at a time, Nando and the others kept moving.

They rested shortly to eat and drink water at a level outcrop and looked to see that the fuselage was still well with insight. All of the other survivors were actually sitting down, watching them from the airplane seats. They'd set outside like it was a movie in which their very lives hung in the balance. They hate this movie. It's really boring. But again, they continued as Twilight approached and no shelter was in sight. But just after a rock, the size of a cannonball fell and almost killed Roberto.

They found a shallow depression in the snow under a large boulder. They huddled into their sleeping bag and the temperature was so low that night that the water bottle they carried shattered from the cold. I don't think this is good news, man. At least the water's still solid. Continuing on the next morning, they reached an elevation of 15,000 feet and began climbing areas that experienced climbers would have considered killing zones. And this is all while the void below them grew larger. Remember, they are climbing up a mountain.

Yeah, do you go over it? Yeah. And like Denver is like, they call it the mile high city. Yes. You know, that's hard. You need to drink water there to survive 15,000 feet. What's that? That's like five miles.

Yeah, fucked. I have no idea, probably. Yeah. It's fucking son of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah, let them. But just as they were about to give up, Roberto looked into the distance and saw what he thought was a road.

Now, even though Nando was near sighted, he figured it was a fault line. So the two argued for hours as to what to do next. Do we stick with the plan or would he go for the road? Eventually, Nando won out. But it is worth saying that it was a road. It's definitely a road. In fact, it's the very road that people now take in order to hike up to the side of the crash. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, now we're tourists to go to go look at where they all died. They go do it for fun. But considering how everything did work out, there's no way of knowing how the road plan would have ended. Oh yeah, man, I mean, it wasn't looking good.

No, so after another night of freezing sleep, they continued their climb. And after hours of agonizing work, Nando made it to the summit of the mountain first, where he fell to his knees. And for the first time since the crash, cursed God. Damn you God!

That's kind of, I mean, not in a good way, but it does kind of feel good to scream, damn you God. That is a lot of love for God. To not curse him out early. At least it's a bunch of neutrality for God. That's what Roberto has. He had neutrality for God. He's like, hey, God's good.

He was Catholic. It's fine. God ain't getting us out of here, God. He's like, hey, God's good. He was Catholic. It's fine. God ain't getting us out of here. No, no, I am. We are. We are. It's fucking bad. He now saw that they were nowhere near the Western limits of the Andes judging from the mountain peaks he saw in every direction. He finally saw that they had crashed in the middle of a vast range of parallel mountain ranges. And imagine that moment, you're climbing to the top of the summit. You think once I get there, once I get to the summit, it's going to be good. I'm going to see Chile, I'm going to see Green Fields. We're right on the other side and you climb up and you see nothing but more mountains. You see 20 more peaks just like the one you

just climbed. And you're insane with sickness. Oh yeah, you're just God and say you're yelling at God already. Uh, yeah, it's not good. No, you know, I would, uh, I would have died again. If this is the 10th time I would have died. Yeah. Nando, then her 10-ton ask, hey, could you see anything, gree? You see anything green over there? Shut the fuck up, tintin. Just ask it, maybe you saw some green. Yeah, no. Fuck you.

No need to curse. No, no, just had a tone's like, just come see for yourself. Just come on. He couldn't even tell him. Yeah. But his Roberto and tintin climbed to meet him. Nando pulled out his mother's lipstick, which he'd brought along as a good luck charm.

So glad you said stick. Yeah. Your mother's lipstick. You're like, you can do it. No, you can do it. I believe in you. You also brought out a plastic bag. And on the bag, he wrote the name of his father, Celere, and named the peak for him, saying

that even though this mountain was now his enemy, I hate you, mounted. None. No, but now give it to his father. And whatever happened afterwards, he at least had that small revenge. Now you belong to my daddy. That's what you get. Three hours later, Roberto finally caught up, looked out and said, well, I named this battle carol.

I now name this place. Yeah. Because she was the girl with the biggest hit time ever see. And if there's nothing like a pile of tips that you'd call them out, and it's Carol. Actually, we're going to get to that. And yes, the second. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he's, he looked up and he said, well, we're finished.

Although he probably said something closer like, my own, it's almost like he does and he said, well, we're finished. Although he probably said something closer like, myanon, it's almost gladidos. Which means, well, we're fucked. Yeah. But then Nando pointed to two smaller mountains without snow. And Roberto saw them. He said, you mean those tits? What?

And Nando said, yeah, tits, the tits. Cheachies, they call them. Yes, cheachies. Cheachies, yeah, I remember it because whenits. Cheachies, they call them. Yes, cheat. Cheachies. Yeah, I remember it because when I worked in the kitchen, whenever I needed chicken breasts, I would say, poe de cheaty and they would laugh and laugh and laugh. And it really worked for years that show. Yeah, that's great. But the point is that Nando believed that they should head towards the tits down the

mountain and along a valley that formed a Y. But even though Roberto estimated that it was at least 50 miles, this is my favorite part of the whole fucking story. Nando told him that he would rather walk to meet death than wait for death to find him. That's my fucking boy. Yeah. And then Roberto answered with an equally fucking awesome line.

He said, OK, then let's go die together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah finally aware of just how long of a distance was still left, they sent Ten-Ten back to the fuselage so Nando and Roberto could split the rations. And indeed, on December 15th, the survivors back at the fuselage saw Tenton sledding down the mountain alone. But by the time he returned with nothing but bad news, yeah, man, sucks up there. Yeah, so some tents though. The only food left was a pair of putrid lungs that no one else would eat. But after Tenton took a bite and didn't get that no one else would eat. But after 1010 took a bite and didn't

get sick, everyone else joined in. But as it got warmer, more bodies were uncovered, enough for at least another six weeks. And it was getting hot enough during the day when they could almost cook meat on top of the plane. Yay. That's how bad it was. Like it was like, oh like oh shit more body You can fucking put it on the plane and I kind of cooks a little bit. Oh, yeah Guys All right, let's eat some ass The tragedy though is that they were almost rescued before Roberto Anando that they were almost rescued before Roberto Enando, but the aircraft that they heard flying in parallel lines saw everything but them even after they laid out a pattern of bones

to catch the rescue party's attention problems that the bones are white too. Yeah, bones are white. Yeah, but there's also some flesh on the bones. So they got a little bit of color in there. Yeah, but it's still not anything. You want to use the bones as the poo poo stick. I think maybe the bones were the poo poo stick. I think the bones had to have been the poo poo stick.

Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, I bet the bones were the poo poo stick. For certain because it's got a rounded edge. Yeah, yeah. Put boner in the ass. God, there must have been a couple of those. It was a lot. Put your fucking nightmare guys.

Like you can go fuck a bow. You're fucking ass. Send that yesterday. This plane was actually full of the fathers of survivors. They knew the risks of flying through the andies But they decided to board the plane to look for their sons anyway, even if the chances of them still being alive were impossible. That's what father supposed to do. Yeah. But you know, you sent all the fathers. They all wanted to go. He sent two. They all wanted to go. I want to go back. I want to trust in something.

You know what? You got good eyes. You go. Actually, fucking Nando's father did stay back. He not only stayed back, he's like, he's fucking dead. He sold Nando's motorcycle. He fucking sold all his clothes. Like, because he just wanted, he's like, I want this fucking over. I want this over. I want to move on my fucking my wife

and two of my children are dead. Like, don't fucking prolong this. They crashed into a mountain. I know, but it was like less than two months. It was like two months. But it took a long time to be talking about no one thought that they were alive. I know, but it was like less than two months. It was like two months. It's a long time to be talking about no one thought that they were alive. I know, but to sell a motorcycle and shit, you can keep it around for a year. Anything that reminded him of Nando.

Incredibly, Roberto Canesas said that sometimes he'd look up and actually see the plane. And he'd like, he'd wave at it Mm-hmm. Roberto and Nando actually spent a lot of time looking up and taking in the fucking Inarguable beauty of the Andes. In fact, the night after Tenton left, Roberto and Nando were sipping rum and having a little toothpaste as a treat when they saw two shooting stars cross the Andes. In an incredible moment that illustrated just how dire their situation was,

Nando turned to Kinesa and said, can you imagine how nice this would be if we weren't dead? Yeah. Yeah, man. It really is. So you just sit there and be like, ah, we should come back here next year.

But once they continued their journey, Roberto and Nando were discovering that climbing down the slope was just as if not more dangerous than climbing up. I've never understood how the mountain guys get down. Yeah. Do they always get lifted up by helicopter and shit? Like when they go to the,

like when you go to the top, you can't find a helicopter to the top Everest. Wait, do you climb all the way back to climb down? But you got the thing in the mountain. It's not easy. I know. We did the mountain climb. I know when he went to talk.

I don't even, I don't even want to remember. All the sudden, on top of the fucking thing, I'm like, okay, I'm up here. Down was much worse. Terrifying. Down's terrifying. I always find down easier. I don't know.

You don't know how to use you. You got bigger butt. I guess true. Honestly, the butt helps because that's the motion coming down. I could let you, You don't know. You've got bigger butt. I guess true. Honestly, the butt helps because that's the motion coming down. I could let you, yeah, because I'm a, you know, pretty good climber. Yeah. I could, I could have helped out. You would have, you would have fired it.

Yeah. But having no expertise, they relied on luck. But I would imagine that their dwindling strength made every movement a carefully calculated decision. Not only could this rock come loosen, kill me, but if I don't conserve my strength, I'm gonna die of exhaustion before I get anywhere close to safety.

Did they have like walking sticks and stuff? Nothing. Nothing. The only thing they had was they had snow shoes that they had built out of like seat cushions. Okay. They might have had walking, but that's the thing,

a walking stick's not gonna help because you're walking on snow the whole fucking time. Yeah. So walking sticks just going to go straight down. And also the problem with that is that you want the snow that you're walking on. It's actually better to walk in the morning in the early, like in the pre-dawn hours than it is to walk in the afternoon because in the afternoon, the ice on top, the snow melts and you fucking sink down. So you want, you don't want to fuck with the integrity of the ice on top of the snow melts and you fucking sink down. So you want, you don't want to fuck with the integrity of the ice you're walking on at all. Yeah. And that's just not like a,

imagine the only poles it would have would be metal. Yeah. And your hands would just stick to them and fucking rip your fingers off. Yeah. How many of you are looking down the climb down from Everest apparently? It's like 92 people died just climbing down. Yeah. Even so though, a small decision nearly resulted in Nando's death. Always the one to speed things along. Nando decided on the third day that he tried to sled down a slope on top of one of the seat cushions they used for snowshoes.

He immediately realized that this was a terrible idea. Yeah, you immediately become Clark Rizwalt. Yes. Nando reached by his estimation speeds of up to 60 miles an hour within seconds. Literally his thesis in that serial varnish. Just going down fucking ice miles. Yeah. Yeah.

Because he also knows the faster we get down this fucking thing, the faster we're done with this thing. But we're also can die in the process. But we might die anyway. Well, he saw a wall coming real fast ahead of him. And he tried sick as his heels into the snow to slow himself down, but then he's up found that his body was thrown forward.

And he knew that if he tumbled forward, he'd break every bone in his body. So he decided to hold on for dear life as he sailed towards a wall of snow that either could have been a little bit of snow and some fucking rock on the other end or a big pile of snow. One was life in rescue, the other was or a big pile of snow. One was life

in rescue. The other was instant death. Well, I can't be doing that. There ain't nothing between me and the ground and a piece of government plastic. That's national evidence. Chris is okay. I fucking learn that shit the hard way myself because like all these fuckers, I didn't see snow till I was 18. So I was up in Boston because my parents moved up there after they left Florida. And I was so excited to see snow. And there's this giant pile of snow outside their house. So like I ran, ran, ran, I threw my bag.

Like a rock while. Oh, I was underneath. I don't know, but I just bounced off. I think it was just ice. Yeah, it's been there for so long. And I just like, oh, when I thought was I was going to go in, I just bounced off it and fucking bruised my entire back. Oh, first day of winter.

You're like, oh no, winter is bad. Some stupid, stupid, stupid, that's not a swimming pool. But after slamming into it, Nando discovered that it was snow. So he pulled himself up and waved to Roberto, the signal that he was all right. I'm alive! Oh, I, he could hear Roberto above, cursing him for being such a god damn reckless, stupid, fucking idiot with the fuck are you thinking?

Hey, man, but now he's got the day off. And Roberto's got a clamp down. Yeah, he's got a clamp down the fuck I'm out. I did it. But from there, Nando and Roberto's journey, this is pretty much when they enter into Sam and Frodo territory. Oh, yes.

Yeah. And if I say, I cannot carry it, but I could carry you. If I were to say, Nando is definitely Sam. Yes. And Frodo's Roberto. Now, you actually think it's that way. You don't think Nando's Frodo?

No, because Nando's got the spirit. He's got the heart. He's the one that says, come on, we gotta keep going. He's the one in love. Yeah. And the other one's the one who's loved the spirit. He's got the heart. He's the one. This is come on. We got to keep going. He's the one in love. Yeah. And the other ones the one who's loved. Yes. And he's got these and he is the fat family. Back. Yeah. Yeah.

Hot girl friend. Yeah. I always like that little hobbit woman and that. Mm-hmm. Now she's cute. Yeah. I was like, all right. Rosie. Yeah. Sam's my fucking my boy. Yeah. Now if he couldn't carry the ring, how could he carry a photo? It's because he can't touch the ring, but he can carry Frodo. Yeah, he can't touch the ring, but he can't have the ring in his possession because if he's carrying Frodo, the ring, the ring is technically still in Frodo's possession. Okay. And Frodo also refuses to give him the ring. That's the other big part about it because he'd have to knock Frodo out if he wanted to take the ring. But then who knows? Yeah. Sam could have done it on his own.

Yes. He wouldn't have put on the ring. Oh, everybody gives the fact best friend. All these fucking problems. Meanwhile, he wouldn't have been tempted. He would have just showed up a mortar. No, the fucking lava flow. No, there was there was a moment after after after Frodo was attacked by

Shalob and the orcs came and got him and took him up into the tower. You know, Frodo did have a small moment where he didn't give the ring back to Frodo, but he did it and then, you know, they threw it into the pit and, you know, that's that. They went off across the shimmering seas. We don't need to describe what other rings anymore to everyone. They all know. We're about to get another reboot. Really?

Yes. Thank God. Well, it's not a reboot. It's prequel. I can't wait. Well, for days on end, they traverse jagged icy boulders that could have been the I can't wait. Well, for days on end, they traverse jagged icy boulders that could have broken their ankles at any moment, fractured glaciers melting in the warmer weather and sharp loose rubble.

You fall down that she could stab you. Oh, yeah, you could rip the fuck up. It's extremely bad. And their shoes are falling apart. They're still like, they've still got rugby shoes on and they're starting to flop. They can hear like the flip, flop, flip flop. And if those shoes fail, they're fucking dead. Well, they cleats at least probably.

Yeah. Yeah. But they're still falling off. They're still like the ice in the snow. They're not good for climbing the slick rock. Yeah. Yeah. Nando said that he often felt like a ghost, a spirit trapped between the world of the living

and the dead. Fuck yeah, dude. It's fucking so fucking metal. I don't know how he just didn't go off and just become like covered imputed after this. He used his shadow to prove that he was in fact real amidst a self hypnosis of rhythmic breathing, the steady crunch of his boots, and an almost constant litany of hail marries under his breath. Damn.

But on December 18th, a week after they left the fuselage, Roberto and Nando heard the roar of rushing water and discovered that they had finally reached the why that they'd seen from the summit. We have hit the tits. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Once they found a thick jet of ice water fed by melting snow, spouting from an ice wall,

they knew they'd found the birth of a river and a river meant that they finally had something they could follow out of the mountains. Yeah, man, like a trout. Imagine so much, how much they drink that day? A fair amount, but you can't drink too much ice water. Yeah, I mean, they definitely got to, like, they finally had fresh water all the time now. They didn't have to worry about it. But then other bad things happen. Yeah. Well, they also saw vegetation for the first time. And after they first spotted grass,

they dropped to their knees and just started eating it. And it was the first thing they didn't even besides human flesh since their night at the tail of the plane. After that came the first signs of civilization. Roberto spotted cows in the distance. And a few hours later, they found a rusted can. Nando being cautious said that someone, eh, maybe they threw that can out of a plane a few years ago. But Roberto said, don't be a fucking idiot. People don't roll down their windows over the Andes to litter.

They sometimes do. You can see some cigarettes up there. You know, guys, no smoke. No, not letting go of Nando's comment about the can. Roberto soon found a horseshoe and some cow paddies. See? And he asked like, hey, fucking Nando, you think the fucking cow shit came from the plane too?

I don't need your sarcasm right now. I slid down a mountain. They can eat the mushrooms underneath the couch. Look at these cool, look at these. Oh, we finally got some stuff. Oh no. Finally though, they found a small herd of cows which told them that they were definitely near a spot inhabited by humans.

Now, they'd been in warm weather for a while now, so the sock meat was start to turn. So in their desperation, Nando tried coming up with a plan to kill one of the cows by waiting until the cow was asleep. So in their desperation, Nando tried coming up with a plan to kill one of the cows by waiting until the cow was asleep. Then he'd sneak up on it and smash it with a rock. At this point, I believe in anything Nando says. If he thinks he can do it, I'd be like, go for it. But he's the heart.

That's why Roberto's the brain because Roberto laughed and so that's not kind of fucking working. Yeah, they're going to snap at us. Yeah. I also think we should start calling feet sock meat. From now on, my sock meat's cold to me. Nando said, hey, well, maybe we can make some spears and we can take it down over the cupant of fucking caveman

or we can sneak it behind it and cut its tendons. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. You always need one. It used to be cocoa, now he's dead. Yeah. And when that was also rejected, Nando was like, fuck, can we just try to like milk it? What, we suck's dead. Yeah. And when that was also rejected, Nando's like, fuck, can we just try to like milk it?

What we suck at stick? Yeah, yeah. Really big on dick sucking today. I don't know. Yeah, we're in it's a cow. You suck tits. It's just been a long, you know, maybe it's just been a that's holiday season has been packed.

You're utterly disgusting. You're utterly delightful. Thank you. Mew, Mew to you. Are you the way they figured it be good idea to camp at night next to the cows just in case a rancher showed up. But when no one showed, they decided to continue their journey for day nine. They've been doing this for nine days. Now Roberto damn near didn't make it

at the very last minute. While climbing a large boulder, the size of a two story house that they couldn't get around, Roberto was suddenly struck with a bad case of diarrhea. God, just clinging onto a rock, just been like, you're got to the case of the fucking dumps! Ha ha ha ha!

Fuck! Ha ha ha! But even though he was suffering incredible pain. God is the case of the fucking dogs. Fuck. But even though he was suffering incredible pain. She'd be like, I should be over there. And I'm also, by the way, I'm light on the diarrhea in my reading here because there's a lot more diarrhea in this story than I actually told you guys about.

This is the diarrhea centered story. But he powered through and they continued their journey. Finally, they found themselves in a meadow with thick grass, with trees, wildflowers, a corral, even more cows. The problem though is that they'd also come to a river that they could not cross. But just as Twilight fell, and Nando decided to look for firewood back in the meadow. Roberto called up from the riverbank and said that he had seen a man on a horse. Oh, the Santa.

What are the other? By the way, I'm going, Couser. I'm going, Couser. So, excuse me. Nando's sprinted back the best he could, but saw nothing until he heard the sound of a human voice. Lo and behold, across the riverbank was a man, their first sign of civilization. I am the whole.

This is for you, dude. Nando started shouting and waving his arms, but the river was too loud for him to be heard. But it was obvious that the man had seen them, because just before the man turned his horse to disappear into the shadows, Nando heard one word. Manana. Tomorrow! How about right now? You, I wouldn't even know what I was doing.

Oh my God, what are you busy doing? You gotta go where? Where in the middle of the fucking house? Holy shit, do you really have to do? I will eat you. And in that moment, they knew they were saved. The next morning, on December 22nd, Roberto and Nando woke up to see three men sitting around a fire across the river. So you want to help them now? Nando again couldn't be heard, but he was able to gesture to the sky, like,

point up to the sky and then make the motion of a plane crashing down with his hands and then like point to himself. And furiatingly, the men just stared at him. I hate mimes. Absolutely hate. What is this? I need this. It's frivolous. It's frivolous motion. Yeah, everyone fucking made fun of is this? I need this privilege.

It's privilege. Motion. Yeah, everyone fucking made fun of Coco's games of charades, but that came in. It came in. It came in. It was a bird. The sky was on the bird. We're fucking with a fuck is cocoa.

Finally, though, one of the guys on the other side took a piece of paper from his pocket, wrote a message tied it to a rock and threw it across the river. The message said that there was a man coming, but tell me what you want in the meantime. And so after the farmer tossed across a pencil as well, Nando quickly wrote an abridged version of their story before finally asking, when is someone coming to get us? Yes, come. The problem now was having enough physical power to throw the rock back. Fuckin' God. Had he not made it?

Who knows what might have happened? Oh, yeah. Because as far as these guys are concerned, there's just a couple of fucking crazy dudes across the rip, they don't know nothing about. Yeah. But as it was, Nando used the very last Adam of his strengths and got the rock across God damn it. I wrote a fucking

So proud of like last Adam a strength Wasted. I'm wasted here. Well, after reading the note, the farmer made the universal signal for I get it. Wait. But before he left, he threw some bread across. Roberto and Nando had their first taste of fresh food in months. Before long, a man arrived on Nando and Roberto's side

of the river, riding a mule, and he came bearing cheese. What are you guys doing? You guys ain't gonna do anything, what's going on? You guys like football? He did, however, tell them that they would have to wait until he tended to his sheep in the pasture above. It's a viral fucking Lord. These rural people just been like, buddy, we're in some urgency.

If you are a rancher, if you have animals to take care of, it is a 24 hour day, 365 day, you're a fucking job. You cannot take a day off. It's there. It's always there. I understand. So they have his mule cheese. They just had a few more hours to wait.

That's it. Fresh me from fresh mule milk. Mmm. Oh, I love a cheese. It's had a few more hours to wait. That's it. Fresh me from fresh mule milk. Oh, I love a cheese. It's like a brown. But after the man on the mule return, Roberto was helped up to share the ride. And within 30 minutes, they arrived at a set of wooden huts. And the first of the 16 survivors were officially rescued. Cheese. Alive. By the end of their journey from the fuselage to the river, Nando and Roberto had walked, height and climbed 38 miles.

It's fucking awesome. Fucking crazy. They left this all out of the movie. But concerning the day, well, they did a montage. A montage, yeah. It was a montage, but they didn't even have like the river or the other guys that found them. Yeah. It was just like, they did a montage. A montage, yeah. It was a montage, but they didn't even have the river or the other guys that found them. Yeah.

It was just like, he walked awhile then he was in a helicopter. Yeah. But concerning the distance, it became obvious after Nando described their 10-day journey that the survivors could not be reached by horseback. Because the guys, like that is safe, and it was like, fuck, let's go right now.

Let's go get them. So word was sent to Santiago for helicopters, meaning that those at the fuselage would have to wait just one more day. Particularly though, the press arrived before the helicopters. Oh great. shoving cameras and microphones into non-no-naberto's faces to ask over and over again how they survived and more urgently, what did you eat? Yeah, of course. Get away from me. Fuck you. and more urgently, what did you eat? Well, of course, get away from me. Fuck you, I ate a rock.

I don't go. Where do I rent? Roberto Nando ignored that particular question for the time being. When someone asked them, what did you survive on? They just stared at them. They liked it. And then it's finally someone,

it would be uncomfortable enough for someone else to answer, ask a question. Pretty soon though, three helicopters arrived with rescue teams and medics who went straight to Roberto, who badly needed medical attention due to his dysentery. Nando, however, ran to the pilots and told them that it was the utmost importance that they leave like now, because he wasn't sure how much longer the people still on the mountain could survive. He also knew that the longer they waited, the more likely that the bodies of his mother and sister might be eaten. Oh, God.

Maniana. Maniana. Now, as far as finding them again, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, sorry. Now, as far as finding them again, Nando very cleverly had looked back quite a bit during their journey, memorizing the mountain ranges and the past they took. Therefore, once he was shown a map, he was able to point to the very spot where the plane crashed. He's like, they're right fucking there.

They're like, what? Are you fucking sure he's like, no, they're there. And the helicopter pilots are like, you couldn't have done that on foot. Like, I don't give a fuck what you say. You couldn't have done that on foot. Fucking tell me about it, dude. couldn't have done that on foot. Like I don't give a fuck what you say. You couldn't have done that on foot. And also like they're flying again. It's a very dangerous place to fly in the Andes. And this might be like a potentially deadly wild goose chase. But three hours later, Nando was strapped

into the helicopter's jump seat ready to direct the pilots to the exact spot where the fairchild had crashed 72 days before. Speaking of the fairchild though, spirits were quite low back at the fuselage. It had been nine days since Roberto and Nando left, and six since 1010 had returned in defeat. But then they heard on their transistor radio broadcasting on stations all across South America that Nando and Roberto had been found and rescuers were on their way to find the rest of the survivors.

And so the survivors at the fuselage broke out a stash of cigars. They'd been say then and they talked about meh, making themselves a little bit more presentable. The problem was that there were piles upon piles of human remains all around, which they had neither the time nor the energy to bury. But Eduardo Strauch said that they didn't need to be ashamed of what they had to do to survive. And besides, people were going to figure it out pretty quickly. It was going to be a main part of the story. Yeah, pretty soon. Yeah. And so everyone tried to find their least dirty clothes. They cleaned their teeth with the last of the toothpaste and they waited for the helicopters. Now, while Nando and Roberto took

nine days to reach the spot where the helicopters picked them up, it took only 20 minutes to reach the summit, which Nando had renamed Mount Celere after his father. And indeed, the helicopter damn near didn't make it to the crash site and almost crashed itself in the high Altitudes and dangerous winds. It was not supposed to be where can you imagine that getting all the way there and then the helicopter crashes? It's Nando would have crashed again. And they like I mean, I mean, I'm never leaving. I mean, you would have been dead. There's no way you so you don't survive helicopter crashes. No. At one point, they had to veer off the path that Nando and Roberto had traversed because it was too high for the helicopters to handle. He's like, if you fly over that mountain,

then I can show you exactly where they are. And they're like, that's too fucking high. They tried and the fucking helicopter started shaking. They're like, no, fuck you, we're gonna have to find another way. And so when they found another way, fucking Nando lost his bearings. He's like, fuck, I have no idea where we are now. But suddenly, he caught a familiar ridge

and knew that this was indeed their mountain. Because imagine how much time they spent staring over those fucking months, months, months of staring. Before long, he looked down and spotted Gustavo wearing the pilots hat. He'd worn almost the entire time they'd been stranded and he soon saw more waving with joy. And much to Nando's surprise and relief, everyone that they left behind 10 days earlier was still

alive. And one of the guys was even so excited to be rescued that he dove into the helicopter, slammed into a pile of skis and yelled, oh, I think it broke my ribs. slammed into a pile of skis and yelled, Oh, I think I broke my ribs. Okay. So the fly back to civilization was indeed terrifying. Yeah. But now that they knew the route, it only took 20 minutes each way. Once they arrived at the cabins and their greens surroundings, the survivors rolled around

on the grass and Carlitos Piaz started eating flowers. Yeah. And they ate daisies. I think you get sick for that. I don't think that's that weird considering they've been eating people. Yeah, it's it. Nothing else is weird from now on. But after notching on some flowers, Carlitos reached out of his pocket and pulled out a little red shoe.

Oh, the Cabrrito. Which was a. It's all time. Oh, my God. I had this whole pack of Grenoble, which was returned to Nando as the pair that they'd promised. Now once they were in the hospital, they admitted they'd survived on human flesh and response the doctors insisted that no friends and family could visit for a while for reasons I don't fully understand.

They might chew on them. They did, however, allow a priest. And while that might not seem useful, nothing did more to ease the consciences of the survivors. Listen, I'm your dudes. I fucking talk to God for y'all. Guess what? Fucking absolves a shit, bro. If you work there, fucking do what you gotta do, son.

The priest said that an unbeknownst to the survivors, the Catholic church actually had an official stance on the act of anthropology. This comes up a lot. It was permissible in extreme situations. Therefore, the priest had nothing to forgive because nobody had done anything wrong in the eyes of God. That's fucking in the book, dude. I fucking in that shit, man.

Don't worry, friend, you got fucking, you shit is covered, bro. That, of course, didn't stop the press from publishing sensationalist headlines around the world about cannibalism for weeks on end after the story broke the day after Christmas. Oh, yes. There was an irresistible for them to twist this incredible story of bravery into something salacious and horrible. Yes. Plus, everyone, you know, it's Christmas time. You love a good, horrible story. That's my thing. You know, that's why we're doing this story.

Yeah. But as almost every person who survived said, nobody knows how they would react. And nobody knows what they would do until they themselves were on that mountain. Oh, yeah. In fact, many of the parents who had sons who were killed in Eaton expressed their support for the survivors, even after rumors started circulating that the avalanche never happened, and that the survivors had actually killed one another to survive. Good Lord. Which is like, it's enough.

It's enough. It's done enough. Does it have to be worse? There's a have to be worse. Also, there's no law up there. If anyone did kill each other up there, who killed the sh**? You know, like, I guess it would be Argentina.

What happens in the fuselage stays in the fuselage. Until it gets thrown outside to wait to get eaten by the people inside the thinnest floor. And it is waiting to be consumed. Well, as far as their behavior after the crash went, many of the survivors would get a rationally angry at the slightest setback. They ate ravenously all the time, and they would oscillate between complete silence and talking compulsively about every detail there or deal. Odd early traumatized. Yeah, of course. But while most retreated to God and family,

Nando Parado became a Playboy celebrity. Yeah, he should. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, contest. You know, I saw it. I saw tits as well and it saved my life. So if you just show me your tits, ma'am, maybe you too can be my mountain ring. But one night as Nando was about to enter a nightclub that he used to frequent with his friend, Pancito, who would die the first night on the mountain. He broke down and cried for the first time, not only since he'd been rescued, but for the first time since the crash. Really? Yeah, man. It's like Drake.

Yeah. And say he went, like not even when his sister died, not when he found out his mother died, not when he found out they'd crash, not when all the other people died, not when they were rescued. It's okay to cry. It's hard, man. He's a hard, these are, these are, man, he survived. You push a lot down. He pushed a lot down. And then of course you'd just sit

in at the club, watch people dance back and forth. You got chains on, sunglasses inside. Of course, that's sometimes, and tear rolls down behind them reflective shades. Man, no one knows what the man at the table's crying about, but he knows because he's a survivor. Man, I cried when I saw the holdovers. But after his playboy lifestyle calmed down a little, Nando became of all things, a Formula One race car driver. I think his shit's real boring for me all the time now. Well, that's what he said is that people thought that he started doing Formula One because he wanted like a adrenaline.

He's like, no, I did it because I liked it. I like drive and his like his dad was a race car driver. I think like he was like a family thing. He's like, no, I did it because I liked it. I liked driving. And his dad was a race car driver, I think. Oh, sure. He was like a family thing. He's like, no, no, no, he's like, don't read into it. I like driving car fast. He's about, he's absolutely allowed. Finally though, he settled down with his wife

to help his father run the family hardware business, which Nando helped turn into the home depot of your driveway. It's my fucking beard, dude. Currently, he is alive and well at the age of 74 and still gives speeches about the crash. No, no, no. As far as Roberto went, he dove right back into medicine and his sense become the foremost pediatric cardiologist in Uruguay. At one point, he even created his own political party and ran for president, although he did lose by a large margin. Everybody should spend one week on a mountain.

To this day though, Nando and Roberto consider themselves closer than brothers, men who share a bond that nobody else in the world can understand. As far as the crash site went, the people who died there are still buried there, and even some of the survivors make occasional pilgrimages through a route that's only passable during summers. After a grueling three-day trip, they arrive at the glacier, where a grave built just after their rescue by members of the Uruguayan and Chilean Air Force still stands. Underneath, they have the bodies of Nando's sister and mother, and everyone else who died on the mountain.

And in an incredible coincidence, one week ago, two day, the survivors met just as they do every year on December 22nd to commemorate the day. They officially survive the Andes. All right. Man, the story's fucking, it gets me juiced up. Yeah, it gets me juiced up too. And also, I wanna give another thank you to Carolina Hidalgo. Oh, of course.

My wife and co-host on No Dogs in Space for the incredible amount of research help that she did finding the human stories in this, helping me with dates, helping me with the script, helping me to edit down a lot of shit to make this a fucking, well fucking wonderful, absolutely great series. And she gets paid with your sweet love making. Yes.

And is this was it really does. I feel like this is one of those stories you can take with you. I feel like this is a, you know, a very rare moment of like hope in the last podcast in the left series, which is actually really interesting for the end of the year, remind it a matter of what the fuck it is you're going through. If you dig deep, there is, there is a reserve there. There is something there that can carry you through whatever the fuck it is that you're going through, even if it's tits. Yeah. That's what you need to power you off the power life. Yes. Yeah. Everyone knows that. Yeah. Everyone knows that.

It's huge, man. But wow, what a fucking story. It is a incredible story. I feel stupid saying it, but yeah, great story. Great story. It's really is. Yeah. And it's hopeful. You did everything on the show.

So upsetting. Yeah. It's making it through. Yeah, it usually ends with someone in prison. Yeah. So much better than the Donner party. Yeah. It's really it.

Well, Donner party kind of worked out for the people that survived just like this because then now you have a story. You have a story to tell everyone's interested in your story. And they did it right. None of the one that they didn't turn into weirdos, they fucking, they just lived their lives. Some of them had a hard time. Oh yeah, I mean, some of them had a hard time. Not all of them like live like full lives afterwards.

Like, you know, there was some, something on No one. Like, No no one, Roberto did great. Like some of the other guys did, certain people, yeah, I read. Yes. No, that's just a lot of like divorces, you know, like just not being able to, you know, it's like anybody who has PTSD. Like if you don't treat it, like it's, it's hard.

It's hard to be in a relationship. It is. And they're mostly still alive. Most of Mari, yeah. That's, that's the craziest thing. Yeah. Only a few of them have died out of the 16. Most of them are still alive. Most of Marriam. That's the craziest thing. It's intense man. Only a few of them have died out of the 16. Most of them are still alive.

The last 40. The only old man was one of them of course. Oh yeah. But guys, we're coming up in 2024. We have a lot of great stories we're gonna tell. Some stuff that we've been promising a long time. Getting to a lot of weird shit, which I'm really excited for. Getting back to some of our roots.

Do some hardcore true crime as well. Can't wait. He was here very soon. Can we cool shit? Before we do, go rent how to ruin the holidays on Amazon. Yeah. And ignore Ed's joke from last week. I mean, I want to go do.

When you go to the more that joke, I also bootlegged it, so hit me up. Yeah, he said to me free on iPhone. I scrambled iPhone video. Yeah. Well, that's it. Hailset. iPhone a scrambled iPhone video. Yeah, oh, Is it hail say it is beautiful guys good great job Marcus. Thank you. Thank you Yeah, and kid great job to Carolina as well. Yeah, of course, yeah did a great job. Oh, Helgine

Hell Nando. Yeah, no, no, fuck yeah, amen Hahahaha! HILNONDO! HILNONDO! HILNONDO! Fuck yeah! Hey man! network.com.