Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 561: Cryptid Towns

Episode Date: January 19, 2024

This week the boys are takin' a virtual road trip and breakin' down some of the most well-known (and lesser-known) Cryptid Towns - as well as the origins of the local legends and inexplicable monsters that have helped turn these sleepy ghost towns into bustling tourist hot spots.

POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE

POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE

POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE

POTE POTE POTE POTE POTE Tourment we want you awake Invitations you give it so try our new glare from spring heel jack coffee Retillion in the morning our proprietary blend of light they roasted Kokayo asks what have you immediately energized about emerging from the pain coaca with all your slippery new eggs Thanks, honey Thanks, honey! No, I don't! Ha, ta, ta, I'm cold blooded! God! Hmm!

Existing Hill Jack and last hot gas on the left! I'm ready to get out now and eat some babies! Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton! There's no place to escape to! This is the last hot gas on the left! Ha, ha, ha! Why are you putting your blades? That's when the cannonball's started. There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. Yes! On the left. Yeah! Huh. Why are you fucking your glas?

That's when the cannonball is started. Oh! What was that? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah! All right, I'm gonna start off up top. I'm actually gonna push back immediately

from a statement you made right before we started recording. I actually think this is my, I'm, I'm coming out of a haze. COVID thought. I've been, I've been looking at different cryptid towns. I've been doing street views getting down into the streets to see what people are doing. And yes, a lot of it is about the murder. A lot of cryptid towns are about

murder. A lot of it. It's murder. A lot of cryptid towns are about merch. A lot of it. No, I actually think some of it is about bestiality. And being obsessed with, but there's also a mystery here. I'm open. Today I'm open. I'm opening my clalacca into thinking that maybe some of these cryptids got something to it, even if it's just the ghost of an ancient turtle. So you think that they create these creatures because they're horny for them? Yeah.

Then how come we've never seen a depiction of Bigfoot with tits? Well, you haven't been looking hard enough, my friend. Welcome to Last Podcast on the Left live from our new studios in beautiful Burbank, California. Just a lot of check out out. It's the land of the stars. I saw Gary Cole getting a colostomy the other day. It's incredible. Today, we're going to be talking about cryptid town.

First of all, before we even begin, look at the tits on this big foot. All right, please look at right here. Look at the tits on this big foot. Yeah. Look at that. Oh, those are like legitimate. I thought they were look like, others like fake tits. No, it's real tits in this big foot. Yeah. Look at that. Oh, those are like legitimate, I thought they were look like

others like fake tits. No, it's like it's real. No, that's a woman's butt. That is a full on mama seed a big foot. A million breasts. Yeah, man. That's the, look at that. That's like it.

It's poor back. It's a Sophia Loren of big foot. So I'm going to get that big foot in operation. No, no, never touch them. Let those glorious, glorious globes swing back and forth as they hunt after our unsuspecting hunters. So a few months ago, we mentioned the concept of cryptid towns. Yes.

Basically, these are small towns that base their entire identity off their local cryptid, usually while trying to lure cryptid tourists with all manner of festivals, theme restaurants and museums. And guess what, y'all? You fucking got me. You got me.

I've go in, I go into these towns, I drop coin, right? I'll meet the mayor. I would love to meet a mayor of any one of these cryptid town sites. So, it's LPL, a gmail.com. If you're a mayor of one of these cryptid towns, invite us, we'll be in front of the parade. Yeah, right?

We'll eat your local rib stick and eats. I'm down for it. I'll buy Mothman Jam. We sell Mothman coffee. But I'm ready to do it. We might have to turn into butterfly guy at some point, but I think that's what we should be doing as far as live shows go.

Yeah, just go to theseid towns and fucking enjoy it. And then they'll be like, we're doing like a church basement. Well, you'll be, you're careful with your fucking ass. Yeah, man, because we our first live show is in the basement of a complex in a conference room and it wasn't conducive. Oh, yeah. No, I mentioned it will be hell. Forrested lighting kills laughed.

Oh, absolutely. What do you know? We bring our own spotlights? Oh, you're a great ex-autocentifier, man. We do it by... Well, the most well-known example of a cryptadone and the one that inspired this series is Point Pleasant, West Virginia,

which owes a large chunk of its local economy to the Mothman. Likewise, nearby Sutton, West Virginia has a museum dedicated to the Flatwoods monster. And one can find five gigantic flatwoods monster shaped chairs situated in the surrounding towns. It's not really a museum. It's like a shanty. Well, it is a museum in the sense that it is a...

In the phone book, it says museum. Yes. Which is all it needs to be. It's a building in which you can enter and look at things. But that's all we need. That's all we need for it to be a museum. I love to go though. If that being said, I don't want to talk trash on it.

I would like to be there and I'd like to see the flatwood monster. You would like it if you went. Yeah, you sure. Yeah. Yeah. Cause the fire in there. Oh, yeah. How was it?

It was awesome. See? No, there you go. And also flatwood monster, famous, sexy cryptid. After I did the tears of a clown, a famous sexy cryptid at all. If you look at the tears of a clown footage, so we got in the various pieces of fan art dedicated to flatwoods monster, it is highly sexual. We know we did when we did that bit at the last jam burry at the last big

last podcast show, we did do a whole thing about sexy cryptids or sexy flatwoods monsters. And there's a fair amount. There is a little actually it's kind of like it was kind of disturbingly a large amount. I think it's just called flatwood monster dressed like hairy styles. I can't forget to live under that skirt. Oh yeah, it's sucking on his shins. Look at its caps. Well, the flatwoods monster shaped chairs are similar to what goes on in Marion and Grant counties in Indiana. They have eight huge Garfield statues and various rundown towns. Statues like firefighter Garfield. God he would have been too lazy to get to 9-11.

There's fishermen Garfield, which I've seen. I stumbled across fishermen Garfield. Lucky guy. And the weirdest one ice cream lover Garfield. That's weird. Actually seems the one most in pocket. I have lasagna today. How was it? It was surprisingly good. You ate lasagna before two o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah, I don't know. Are you James Gandalfini?

No, it's probably not a coincidence that states like West Virginia and Indiana are the ones that have multiple cryptid towns because from what I've seen of at least Indiana, the local economy isn't exactly jumping in their rural areas. What are you talking about? The Jackson Family Museum is there, the home of music, on to sausage places in Indiana. Yeah, a lot of like, you know, floor, cleaner factories, a lot of prisons. You can get anything, zip lock, you get it fresh from Indiana. It's all Kurt Vonnegut and Larry Bird, Indiana.

Yeah, it really is. But to that point, which is chain smokers. That's right. But to that point, a lot of the cryptid towns we're gonna be talking about today are in the middle of nowhere, just small towns trying to survive.

But while most cryptid towns make their local creature an object of fun, even ridicule. Yeah, looking at you, Mr. Hodeag people. We're going to cover others in which the town still greatly fears their local cryptid, even while they make money flaunting its supposed existence to kind of travel and and to walk into the world of high strangers for a bit. I was listening to the new curks, one of her favorite paranormal research or married couple and they did the hellier series, we talk about them all the time, but they are talking with the concept of thought forms that live. Right.

But at some point, if an entire town really does get together and say, this creature exists and not only does it exist, our fucking whole crusinet, the town dentist is seen it. We got pictures of it everywhere on some level in a almost psychic manner. You kind of project it out, which then increases the sightings of the thing that you're trying to see. And yes, in one way, it's collectively, they're looking for shadows that then maybe look like a squunk, but then it turns out, you know, whatever it is. But I also believe what the new curks

are talking about, but the idea of cryptids being the ghosts of ancient animals, like things that are out in the forest that were there millions of years ago, that are now just sort of like literally, the ghosts of giant apes, the ghosts of a giant prehistoric turtle that you then see. And then also maybe deep in the forest,

there's a big ass turtle somewhere. Maybe turtles on the coast. So you don't know shit. You gotta check it out. You think of a thing. But one day found like fucking big foot fossils by now. I don't know. I don't know.

They hide, they bury their dead. But you, that's where you fight bosses in the ground. They hide the cemeteries. Yeah. Never stops. It's like a sign that goes left, but it's really right. Yep. Yeah.

Always. They put cemeteries in their sweat. But before we get started, we'd like to thank our fans for sending in their own personal cryptid towns, because it's from these emails that we've built our episode today. So without further ado, let's get started with one of our favorites, the Jackalope, Douglas Wyoming. Oh yeah, David Koolie. Yeah.

And it's just as you be. You ever catch me? I don't remember that. I don't remember that. I thought it was a beaver. No, it's a Jackalope. It's the Jackalope. Yeah, world's funniest people.

It is like a taxidermy rabbit with the jackalope. Yeah, world's funniest people. They put it in. It is like a taxidermy rabbit with the horns sticking out. Now I remember. Yeah. Rob a male man and shit. Yeah. Push them in a pool. Technically, the jackalope is a very sad origin. As we know, the jackalope has become more of a taxidermy joke over the years than a serious cryptid. We got one right in the corner, one right in the corner. Some wise ass taxidermists get a couple of antlers, shoves them on the head of a rabbit corpse and mounts it on a wall. However, the jackalope itself did actually start out as a cryptid. See, it's believed that legends of rabbits with horns on the American frontier came from

a very real disease suffered by the furry folk called show papaloma virus. When a rabbit is infected, it grows horn-like tumors and due to the nature of just how many animals, the white man was still discovering on a regular basis during frontier times. Some figure, hey, rabbits got horns around here. Robbers got horns around here. Do they fought for supremacy? I actually found a picture.

Have you seen this? It's horrifying. In fact, this is a rabbit infected with show papaloma virus. They look like a teenage mutant Ninja Turtle care. It looks safer than a normal rabbit. I do think it's protected because I do want to buy one of these. I was shopping for Wendy and Carmie because we've been a lot more coyotes are coming in the neighborhood. So you're just going to put a bunch of rabbits in your front yard. Yeah, it's higher them out. Yeah. No, they have them.

They got coyote shields for dogs. It's your spiked little, you literally juke just like this. The show papilloma virus where it says little spiked best that you put on the dogs and it keeps the coyotes from biting at them, which also kind of fun. Cause I want one. Yeah, Carmelida already attacks everybody. She doesn't eat spikes. She mostly attacks you because you got thick and cold sand.

Not delicious. Everyone knows that. At least you smell delicious. Mm. But even after it was discovered that rabbits do not have horns in Wyoming, legends started to grow in the early 19th century, probably to break up the boredom and to distract the settlers from the real dangers that were likely to kill them at any moment.

If we know anything, this was we learned from the Donner party or any story involving this time period, it sucked. And Wyoming in particular was a dangerous place to settle. Some would say that jackalops were dangerous creatures who would attack unsuspecting travelers unprovoked. So those passing through the territory were advised to wear stovepipes on their legs, lest they be gourd and left for dead on the prairie, unable to walk. How many people died because of this?

Yeah, I got infected, like literally cut on their shittings and then like, human filth got in that from the stovepipe like, covering. Also, just the idea of like we got to be scared of the fucking rabbits out here too Buffalo everywhere. That's our food. We got to be scared of the food. It's like being scared of a carrot. I mean, but when you're on the

frontier going out there, I mean, you know, a snake can pop up and grab you at any second, you're fucking dead. You can step into a hole, you sprain your ankle, you're dead. Also, they talk about the spread of human kind to various areas. Like, you know, once we walked from the base in where is it? They were the fertile crescent. The fertile crescent.

When we walked from there out to cover the rest of the planet, when we found these giant slow moving, lumbering, innocent animals, they're all like, oh, look at that pink thing right there. And then the human waves at it, it's got no signs of being a natural predator. numbering innocent animals. They're all like, oh, look at that pink thing right there. And then the human waves at it. It's got no signs of being a natural predator. It's got no claws. It's got no big hairs. But you, so you think it's just some other like little like pink monkey like thing like you. And then all of a sudden it kills you and your whole fucking family. Well, 30 of them. Yeah, surround you and kill you. Yeah, like a, like a,

like a prison style. Yeah, yeah. No, you. Yeah, like I guess prison style. Yeah, no, we definitely hunted out like giant sloths, giant bears, holy mammoths, all that shit we hunted into a non-existence. Yeah, don't over. Oh, yeah, don't over. Imagine how fucking delicious a don't over. It is. I think that they were fucking. You can get your fucking. They fucked them. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's what they got their names. The Cognos. It was also said that a jackalope can imitate a human voice. As cowboys singing around a Wyoming campfire were said to hear the jackalope singing back in a mocking tone.

All right, I don't need to be fucking roasted out here. I'm doing my job. If one wants to catch a jackalope for making fun of your singing voice, all you have to do is entice it with its favorite drink, whiskey. Hell yeah. Yeah fun. Jackalope sound like they're fun. I kind of like it. Yeah, they make fun of people and get hammered. Yeah, I covered it horns. Yeah, it's like most of my friends. But as I hinted earlier, the jackalope, as we know it, was created by a taxidermist named Ralph Harrick and his brother in 1934.

One evening while he and his brother were a quote unquote, running late for dinner, which is code for getting fucking trash. Oh, I thought it was code for 69 in your brother. They decided to mount a pair of antlers on a jackrabbit. They just caught this drunk an idea created the famed jackalope. Incredible. The jackalope caught the eye of a local who bought it and before the herix knew it, they were selling hundreds of jackalopes a year from $10 beginner's jackalopes to an extra large expert jackalope that sold for $150. Sales were actually so good that they

started selling other souvenirs like canned jackalope milk. That makes a jackalope milk this morning. Yeah. Fridge. What is the, what do you drink, rabbit milk? I don't think you could, I think you could drink any milk. Oh, you matter if you want to or not. Are we heading into Falkers territory?

I don't look at you. Is how to feed baby rabbit milk? No, that's for newborns rabbit milk. Mmm. All mammals produce milk. Yeah. Mmm, all mammals produce milk. Yeah. No, all mammals dolphins don't produce milk. Do they think they do?

I think you can tug on it and find out. We're probably crying here. Oh, slippery tips. Oh, keep saying by young rabbits eating milk, where's young humans eating rabbit milk? Yeah, maybe next year that will improve the dolphins chances a little bit. If you call them the old slippery tips. Yeah, I got them. I love them. Man, man, I made fun of Detroit Lions fans and I apologize. They got so sad. They won their first playoff game. And since 1991,

give them a break. I mean, I got no problem with them. I was just saying that they all look like they're sick. It's a devastated town. It's a devastated town. Once the jackalope took off, the town in which the taxidermy shop was located, Douglas Wyoming, population 6,000, they leaned in hard and have been doing so ever since. Taurus can buy jackalope hunting permits that are cheekily valid for only two hours a year, and they can visit the town's massive jackalope statue. That's fun.

Yeah. As far as Herat goes, he attempted to make more cryptids, such as his Wyoming catfish that he made from the tail of a fish and the front of a cat. Get it? Stinky catfish. Yeah, catfish. As Herat put it though, he could sell more if only he could get more cats. People get mad with that.

Yeah. The issue with your family's house. if only he could get more cats. People get mad with that. Yeah, you're a man. To your family's house. You're just, you're exactly, you need that many cat torsos. They got piles and piles of them. Now, is our jackalope, is that a real like giant rabbit?

No, that's a toy that's got some plastic antlers taped to it. I know some rabbits get huge. They get big, yeah. Yeah, they get like real like 20 pounds of hairs. Yeah, I've seen big rabbits. Yeah, and they, yeah, you could, we suck the meat out of them. Mm-hmm.

Right, because that's what I do first. You got to eat that meat. And then you take the, you take the big fur around it. And then yeah, you toss some antlers on it and it's great. You put it up in a bar. And I know if he loves it. No, I love it. I throw panties at it.

That's a great idea. Yep. Thank you. From North Laid. Well, the jackalope is a figure of fun and nothing to be afraid of. If you go all the way down to Brazil, you'll find a town that truly believes in the danger it's cryptid poses for Jean Appalus is considered far and wide to be the werewolf capital of the world. This is kind of legit because the fear is real. If you type in Brazilian werewolf, I mean, again, some questionable search results do

come up. Absolutely. You know, because especially a lot of like what that werewolf do it. Yeah. Nice high court. But the, there is like, they are legit afraid of the, of this brand of werewolf. And it's, it is, it's spooky. A lot of footage.

Yeah. Yeah. See in Brazil, it's believed by the particularly superstitious that every seventh child born to a woman will become a werewolf. As will any boy born after seven consecutive girls, as will any unbaptized baby. This is all about just like where a goddamn con. Yeah, this is for population control. Yeah, if you, it's basically like,

if you keep fucking, you're gonna produce a werewolf. Yeah, so Jill has one of the highest populations in the world. I mean, they're all sexy. Yeah, I think they're number two behind India. At this point, Matt, three behind China. They gotta be behind China. Yeah, I'd be so impressed if they passed China. Yeah, we must fuck our way past Asia.

Turning into a werewolf isn't necessarily a foregone conclusion for these people. It's said that a werewolf will turn if they happen upon a crossroads on a Friday at midnight, regardless of the phase of the moon. The only way to turn back into a human, it said is to return to those same crossroads. It's actually it's a lot of like I looked up a lot of the various ways you're supposed to remedy being a werewolf and most of the time it involves you dying. Mm hmm. It's probably best. Additionally, a werewolf can turn if they run through seven cemeteries, although I'm

not sure if that seven consecutive cemeteries, seven cemeteries in one night or seven cemeteries over a lifetime. I think it's seven cemeteries in one night. You think so? I think a lifetime. I think it's seven cemeteries in one night. You think so? I think it's a run. We're getting into Grimlin rules territories. Yeah, I mean, it's wear wolves. So it's not going to really hold tight.

I feel like a lot of it is the fear, though, of a man from out of the town. Yeah. It seems to be or anybody, it's got face fear. It's very much a god. It's being afraid of the people that want to go to the cemetery, even though they do probably have more of a connection to their dead as it is. But still, like the idea of a guy who's just like,

yes, number six, soon I have no rough rough. You're like, all right, fucking Gregorio. The more children you have, the more chance one of them's gonna be a dog. What if it just means being an asshole? Yeah, they could be. Some hairy asshole.

Lastly, one can also become a wearable, if they're bitten by a wearable. If you're bitten and you turn, you have 12 days to find a cure, but the cure is unknown. The cure involves getting one is getting stabbed in the head with a piece of sulfur. That's not a cure that's getting killed.

That is all they say. I was looking at more killed. Yeah, because also not only you have to kill it, right? You have to really have to cure it. Then which most of the time means dead. They sometimes they involve you could do like a you can give it wolf's bane or apparently they also believe that you can exercise the werewolf out of you. Sure. Which is a movie we haven't seen yet. No, that must be werewolf exorcism. The idea of getting somebody to your possessed by a werewolf spirit, we gotta get it out of you. Cause guess what, we gotta time limit.

Cause if not, you turn to a fucking werewolf at the end of the movie. Yeah. How many seven days? 12 days. 12 days. 12 days. And then the guy is, and the, but the other one is that if you don't do it right, the corpse of a werewolf turns into a revenant. And not the fucking mediocre decapro vehicle, like a actual living, you know, it's a living dead dog.

Yeah. And got no rules, Doc. According to a listener from Brazil named Marilia. I'm not I'm butchering that, but Brazilian names are very difficult. It's just, it's just because it's Spanish, but like in a mirror world. Yeah. You know, it's like, I go to see Portuguese written out

and I'm like, oh, I understand. And then you're like, oh, this is extremely different. It really is. It's very hard to wrap your mouth around. It's a whole other language and culture. Yeah. Yeah. But according to this listener,

every single person that she's ever known who hails from Jean Appalus, not single person that she's ever known who hails from Jean Apollis not only believes that werewolves are real, but they also claim to have had at least one encounter with a werewolf. Much like the kushaka and much like the skin walker. It's another example of the thing that is a story that is legitimately like that no one wants to talk about it. They believe that you talk in this town. They very much want to talk about everyone wants to talk about it all the time. So they wants to talk about it. They believe that you talk in this town.

They very much want to talk about everyone wants to talk about it all the time. So they don't want to talk about they do want to talk about it, but they're also scared of it. Sure. They're very, very scared of it. It's with the lobby summit. For example, this listener said that her grandfather was very serious about seeing a man turn into a werewolf while he was out hunting with the group one night. Furthermore, her grandmother always rushed to get each of her six children baptized as

quickly as she could, because werewolves also eat unbaptized children. Yeah, it's tasty. Morilia even said that she herself once encountered a massive black wolf-like dog as she and her father were hiking back to their car one night after a fishing trip. But even though belief in where wolves is huge in Brazil, with just as much CCTV footage of them as there are of South American gnomes, regular wolves don't actually exist within the country.

Did you check out any of the CCTV footage? I did not. I didn't want my bubble to be burst. I poured through some of it. There's some good, like, standard, like, you know, you got the spooky music behind it. You see sort of like a shadow and they're like, oh, it's a guy. You see people talking to me and like, I don't know the wolf. They see it over there.

It's a love. They love it. They love it. They love it. They love it. And then they see they got like out there, but it's mostly just kind of you see like a They're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe, they're lobe to after the how you guys read me to fill that's a showing you my precious jellyfish you of us. And I'm not going to allow you to do the same treat me. To the lobby. So I'm because I look at it.

It's spooky. Yeah. But it really does involve you, you know, smoking, sweet, sativa, sitting at night and top is going hashtag. I'll be so I'm in to a TikTok app and just watching it four o'clock in the morning. The fact that there's big black dogs in Brazil is more believable than jellyfish you have of us. Yes. Well, that's true.

Well, the closest thing Brazil has to a wolf is a somewhat creepy looking animal called the main wolf, which is not a wolf. It actually looks like a large fox with very long legs, but it's also not a fox. It's the largest canine in South America. It's a big dog. It's basically, it looks like a America. It's a big dog.

It's basically, it looks like a fox. It's about the size of a Labrador, and it's got very long legs. Very weird looking animal. Look at this. It's got a tiny little head. You could definitely, this is cryptid. You could see why if you saw this at night and you didn't know what the fuck that was. And if it was a really big one, yes, that's encrypted.

But concerning cryptored lore, the main wolf is known in most of Brazil as a good luck animal. It's a very well known animal. It's like one of those wolves like it or one of those dogs killing a coyote. You know, he needs, he needs glasses. It's killed a lot to harvest good luck charms. People believe its eyes are good luck. So you kill a main wolf and then you bring it and you carry around its eyes. So the wolf has bad luck. Think about this for a second. Let's just okay, how about a main wolf's kiss? Get this main wolf out of here. But while the main wolf is not the cryptid we're looking for, the town of Johnopolis takes their designation of being the werewolf capital of the world with deadly seriousness.

Oh my god, Johnopolis, the way you're saying it, it just sounds like that's where super Karen lives and that's where she defends. It's like Johnopolis. Yeah, John, yeah. John, yeah. According to popular belief, Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday is when the town sees its highest concentration of werewolf activity. And during a full moon, tourists can actually join a werewolf hunt in the local woods with a guide. And there are several depictions of werewolves around

John Opless for the purpose of photo ops. Oh my God. It's a change every year like Easter does. Yeah. It's a always holy week. It's whatever holy week is they go go kill a bunch of main wolves. No, they, you're not listening to me at all. The main wolves are good luck. They're not considered to be, but you say they're shooting them and they're carving their fucking eyeballs

out of their sockets. Yeah, but not specifically on holy week. They don't, but the main wolf and the werewolf are two entirely different creatures. But you don't think that they go out for fucking the werewolf and then they see a main wolf and they're not like, all right, let's get it. It's fucking eyeballs.

I got a guy, I got a child custody here. He gets me. But at the same time, the people of Joanopolis have terrifying tales to tell about their encounters with werewolves. In one example, a woman told a folklorist named Maria Tivar Elima for her book, Where Wolf? Where Wolf? About... there, wolf. There, wolf. There, castle.

She was told about it encounter she had while she was heavily pregnant. From what this woman said, she could hear a pack of dogs outside in her garage one evening, and wanting the air on the side of caution. She waited until morning to investigate. When she opened the garage door, she found a naked, hair-covered man sleeping on her garage floor. This is, I want to say to my brother's out there with back hair. I want to say, I feel you, I see you. Don't bark. We lived in Green Point for a long time.

Right? And I remember seeing a big fat Polish man, the cryptid of Green Point. Yeah. A sleep on a stoop with some cuisec. What is it? Yeah, chivic, yeah. Chivic, yeah. Just like, yeah.

Many, many bottles of chivics surrounding him. But technically that was also a sign of good luck. Yeah. For many people, because you know that that meant your landlord, that man was asleep. And you had one more day to put in the rent. Well, by this woman's estimation, this guy, this hairy naked man,

he was a werewolf who'd come to eat the unborn baby from her womb. What? What? What? Sounds like could be fun. It could be fun. Yeah. What would you mean for her?

Oh, you're talking about kind of like a singer. Yeah. I was just thinking about that. I'm like, yeah, yeah. I could taste his knees. There are however, ways to identify a man as a werewolf if one wants to keep that person far away from their vulnerable infants or infants to be. If you see a pale, hairy man with long ears and a crooked nose with callous covered hands, of course, calluses from running on all fours, you might have a werewolf on your hands. You're not. They are werewolf.

So what are you supposed to do? Just kill him. I saw no mention of what you're supposed to do after you identify the creature. Yeah, shoot him at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shoot him. Shoot him at with his overbullet and then tell the cops, oh, he was a werewolf.

Ah, so God forbid you. God forbid a fucking, you know, a basketball player from Latvia is in the town. He is not going to do. Thank you for killing the werewolf. You're a cop now. These responsibility I cannot have. Now, as far as how werewolves entered Brazilian lore, it's probably a result of

Portuguese colonists bringing European folklore across the ocean. It may also be that the main wolf who haunts Brazil may have at one time had a reputation for eating unattended babies in their cribs. Although this is unlikely, considering its reputation for good luck, plus it's more of a chicken thief than anything. I feel well, where wolf war has kind of been around for forever. Yeah, it probably did come from European origins, but also it's we talk about like when we did our werewolf episode back, back, back in the day, and any materially read about a werewolf, most of the time it's used to describe an antiquated way of describing psychopathy or anti-social personality disorder

or some version of he's an asshole who murders a bunch of people. Yeah, because that's it's speculated that John Oplis is the werewolf capital because it believes it's the werewolf capital, which you know, it does work that way. But the mental disorder, known as like chemotherapy, in which a person believes he is a werewolf and acts violently as a result can be created and made worse by communities in which werewolf belief is strong. Look at possessions.

Yeah, possessions oftentimes happens with people that believe in an orthodox version of a religion. So the cryptid here might just be man itself. Yes, man is the wolf. Obviously the people of Jean-Opolis are obsessed with werewolves and our next cryptid town, Chorobusco, Indiana is no less obsessed, although their cryptid is nowhere near as dangerous. Chorobusco, population 1200 no less obsessed, although their cryptid is nowhere near as dangerous.

Chorobusco, population 1200, has the beast of Busco, which is a massive snapping turtle that was first seen in the year 1898 by a farmer named Oscar Fulke. Yep. He actually made the turtle. See, one day, Oscar came to town raving that he'd seen a giant snap in turtle at the lake on his farm, but no one believed him. Nobody believes me. You can see.

Come on out. It's a big turtle. No, you worry now. Go look. Saddest. Exciting in the world. Cause turtles are cool. Turtles are great. I like them. They do just sit there. the saddest exciting in the world. Cause turtles are cool.

Turtles are great. I like to just sit there. Well, no, they move. And turtles fuck your ass up. Yeah, we'll get to that here in a second. But nobody believe in old Oscar Falk all changed. And of course it changed after Oscar was too dead to be vindicated.

When two men named Ora Blue and Charlie Wilson saw snap and turtle at Oscar F old farm in 1949 by their estimation that turtle weighed at least 500 pounds. Yeah, that's a big turtle. It's big. That's real big. Too big. No, no. But father, one of you have any experience with snap internals and I'd imagine you probably did. I had one of my swimming pool when I was a kid. It was insane. It like it bit through the pool skimmer when we tried to get it out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, just from like it got into the way it wasn't invited in. It stuck in the pool. Yeah, because we live next to a lake in Florida. Yeah, so these things find their way in If you don't have like it's closed off pool area. It's a truth. They bite Dicks. They'll bite anything anything

Don't bite your fucking finger off. No, I'm not trying to talk with them shit Like don't fucking destroy you dude. I grew up among these creatures. Yes. They are slow But even a small one can do a lot of damage if you get too close They're not slow in the water. No, they're not slow in the water at all. Yeah, every pond or, you know, swim and hole or lake or anything that we went to, there's always snapping turtles around. This is what I've all had been cryptid. I feel like I do have a very, very, very big turtle. Big sense. Yes. That could happen. Yeah. And as I was told, if a snapping turtle grabs hold your hand, it won't let go until it hears

a thunder clap. Yeah. That's why you need to get somebody over there who's got one of those big butts. Slap it up and down. But all that is to say that while a snapping turtle is nowhere near as dangerous as a wear wolf, nor is it anywhere as sexy. Jack Nicholson is never going to play a big snapping turtle. Unfortunately, have you seen the pictures of him on the boat with the models eating the sandwich?

I think he's been preparing for that role. You're ready for snap in turn for about a decade. Yeah, we'll bring Michelle Fyfer back. Oh, yeah. Dana Carvey could play a snap in turn. You're gonna be in a dumb, Tudelina for you. Maligned film. Yes.

But that again is to say that a 500 pound version of a snapping turtle could fucking kill you. Oh, yeah. And you probably, you probably have to shoot it like a bunch of times with the shotgun. And keep coming a bunch. I mean, it's got natural armor on it. Yeah. Yeah.

Shotgun probably won't do nothing to a 500 pound snapping turtle as you shoot it in the face. I think you have to shoot it in the face much. Yeah. And it's going to come at your face first. For grenade at it. I said the snapping shoot it face much. Yeah, and it's gonna come out your face first for grenade at it I said the snapping turtles life once it was in the road and I picked it up by the sides and I threw it off the road So you say that the beast of busco comes upon you. He'll see you and go

Pass Or one of the good ones I told this story many years ago, but yeah, I did kill a snapping turtle once accidentally with love ago, but yeah, I did kill a snapping turtle once accidentally with love, with love, with love. Yeah. I hugged it a bunch. Yeah. I captured it. And I wanted it to make it my pet because I really liked it because it was snapping a lot. I thought it was cool because it was a creepy animal. But I thought like, well, what do I like to eat? And I liked eating cheese a lot when I was a kid. So I only fed this herbivore cheese and it died. How long did it last? Few days until I think the constipation killed it.

Yeah, I think the cheese gunked up the works. Yeah, it's supposed to eat kelp. I felt bad about that one for a while. Yeah. What are you gonna do? Yeah. Now the first account, move on. Move on. Move on with your life.

Move on. Now the first account of the beast of busco and newspaper articles appears in 1949 and involves the man first account of the beast of busco and newspaper articles appears in 1949 and involves the man who would make the beast of busco famous, a farmer named Gail Harris. As farmer Gail put it, he saw a gigantic snapping turtle as large as a tabletop and the seven acre lake on his property. She just juzz. Usually this table. Yeah. See how long it is. Yeah. Okay. See how wide it is. Yeah, okay. See how wide it is. Yeah, yeah, reaches one side, reaches the other side. Yeah. About how big that turtle was.

What do you think it eats? Killed. Killed me. Well, the seven acre lake just so happened to be the lake formally owned by Oscar Falk, possessing little imagination though, farmer Gale named the creature Mr. Turtle. Not satisfied, the locals renamed it after the lake's former owner, Oscar, or they would call it the beast Abusco. Farmer Gale however, soon became obsessed with removing the turtle from his lake, either

because he wanted to turn it into a tourist attraction or because giant turtles just plain freaked him out. It might be just that just that. Like having a very large turtle just hanging around for a while, be weird because they feel like I wouldn't want to be naked around it. Yeah. I wouldn't want it. I wouldn't be able to casually walk. I think if I was out there grilling and I just saw a turtle just go like, I'm like a

700 pound five hundred pounds. Please, that's not in Belish. Hey, I'm the marketer here. You got to bump it up. But other way, farmer Gale made multiple attempts to remove Oscar, using methods that became increasingly silly over time. First, Gale hired a crane and an operator to use that crane, come out to the lake to see if he could grab up Oscar as if it were a huge claw game.

That's fun. It's fun. That's fun for a crane operator. Was he married? No, Oscar or a Farmer Gale? Yeah. Yeah, he was married. Wow, what a patient woman. Oh, I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know because things went downhill. I don't know if he was too happy about this. Yeah. And the crane operator was apparently very annoyed. Like it was not, it was a waste of his day. Cause he was sticking the claw in, looking for Oscar.

Yeah. And farmer goes like, no, to the left. The left I can see. There's a. Yeah. There's a. Well, you look for the head that comes up. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Cause that's what snap trolls. So you look for the, they bob up and you can see like, oh, there's snap into it. Over there, we used to sit around, you know, if I can swim and holes and just look up, I was one. Yeah. What was I gonna do? I don't know. Honestly, I'm glad you didn't click guns. You didn't show up at the Alamo say I wish I was there

Well some of the guys with the guns that was part of the thing is that you wait for the turtle to and then and then blow it up Yeah, but that was in me. I didn't do that. I was tender hard it. That's nice. It was tender hard and like killing But you did kill snapping turt. It's a whole lot. It's not a story that again. That was love that was like I killed it with love Yes, he did it like he was gypsy rose blanchards. TD Blanch. Well, next, Gale gave $400 to three ex-navy divers, including one with a reputation for quote, the failure of his diving suits. When was this? This is 1949. That's a lot of money. Yeah, man. For 1940, it's a lot of money to give to a man named Woodrow Rigsby. Yeah.

Woodrow Rigsby is going to be fucking having sex with your house plants. But you can't, uh, this is, again, this is post war, right? So it's 1949. People are fucking flush with money. You got nothing. This is a land of opportunity. Mm-hmm. Everybody's excited to see it. I mean, like, they got a lot of times. It's nice because Farmer Gale was probably just got nothing. This is the land of opportunity. Everybody's excited to see it. I mean, like, they got a lot of times. It's nice because Farmer Gale was probably just got done. Sunt now after Jerry in the fucking like outside of Berlin. So now he's just looking for up. He's looking for something else because he couldn't get his hands around. God, I made all Hitler.

I was like, I got 20,000 leagues under the sea like Scoobas suit. Like, where the tube went into the house. It was kind of like that. Yeah, with the big like,000 leagues under the sea like scoop a suit like where the tube went into the house. It was kind of like that with the big like the crank and the two attached to the thing. Well, one story said that rigs be ordered the wrong suit and that the plan was abandoned. Because once, you know, they all got out there. They made a big deal. The suit arrived like, we up. I ain't gonna work. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's not right. Now, but another story says that rigiggs be made a second order from Milwaukee and walked the floor of the lake using weighted shoes

in search of Oscar to no avail. Visibility's gotta be shit, then. It's gorgeous. Yeah, it's gotta be. Yeah, it's probably a dirt lake in the fucking middle of Indiana. Yeah. From there, Farmer Gale decided that he was gonna make

the turtle come to him instead of going to the turtle. Out time. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently there was a female turtle in the lake that was said to be Oscar's mate, Mertle the turtle. Oh, this turtle. Jesus fucking hoor. He's going to get up here looking for. I wish I could stop having sex with her. I can't. She was captured and used as love bait as Farmer Gale put it. But when Oscar didn't bite, Mertle was set free. After that, Farmer Gale shipped in a turtle from Florida all the way to Indiana.

That turtle was named many. And Farmer Gale thought that maybe he could use some forbidden fruit to lure Oscar out. This reminds me of our, if we did horses or sketch horses. Yeah. It's like you take the turtle and you put a bikini on it. Yeah. Put a wig on it. They put a circle on its pussy.

Yeah. Wait for me. I'm gonna. Yeah. Many. I want one. No one can resist. How many?

Help me make this turtle more sexy. Oh, what I got to do. All right. Now, but I need to do is now hunting. Now, I just need to say, I know you've been patient. I know you've been patient. I know you've been patient. I know sick. Oh, what I got to do. All right. Now, what I need to do is now, honey, now I just need to say, I know you've been patient.

All right, everybody in town's mad at me, but this is gonna be one last shot. Now, keep putting things on this turtle until I'm horny. All right. What else? Now, it seems to me that you're out of lipstick because of me. Maybe I use paint. Many, however, was not as lucky as Myrtle because after she failed, she was killed and eaten

at a potluck. It's fucking bug gun to the back of a tent. Sam, me all Jackson. You ever eternal? No. It's good and soup. It's all right. Yeah.

It's like chewy like gator. It's like gator. It's like gator. It's got like that style. It's got a fishy texture, it's it's like chewy like gator. It's like gator. It's like it's got like that style. It's got a fishy texture kind of a brackish taste. It's mostly tastes. I actually compared a lot to snails to ask our go. Oh, I love snails. I love them. You know, like, I love them. I'm fine with them. I mean, like shrimp, but slimy shrimp fucked an oyster. They're fine. I feel like it's like one of those things where like hold a McNeely, that's his favorite meal, which makes a lot of sense.

Well, yeah, it's the lizard. Yes. Yeah, he lives chewy gooey. For me, I'm not fully into chewy gooey and ever like gushers. So I don't know if I like them when they're seafood based because they are just little gushers. Don't, isn't it hard for,

we couldn't get him to eat sushi, but he'll eat snails. Oh, yeah, he'll eat snails. He lives in lettuce. Yeah. I'm back to Farmer Gale. He was at this point desperate and probably increasingly embarrassed that he couldn't capture a big turd. It's turd or see it. Uh, he saw it. Oh, okay. I think it was one of those things where when no one else was around, he'd see it. Yeah, the Oscar would come up and just go like, fuck you. You were like, I know you're real. I know you. Farmer Gale made one last attempt at capturing Oscar by taking the drastic step of draining

the 65 foot deep lake himself. After 18 days of constant pumping, the lake was down to 15 feet and Farmer Gale declared that Oscar was finally within his grasp. I got him. At that point, a 10 pound snapping turtle was captured. Yeah. But farmer gale insisted that this poultry excuse for a monster was not his turtle. And 10 pounds is actually fairly small for a snack. Yeah, it's not a big, that's Wendy's sites.

Yeah. And predictably, farmer gale's last efforts failed. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like maybe Rick Moranis came through here with his pet and a shrink and ray. Something happened. Somebody struck my turtle. By March of 1950, though, after almost a year of this, Gail slowly began to notice that his turtle obsession had undone his life.

He destroyed everything. This is what we talk about how uphology and getting into high strangeness as a full time quote unquote money making career strips everything from you. No, no, UFOs run lives, cryptids run lives again and again and again over and over. There's never been a single person who's ever made like a good living. The mayor of Point plus at West Virginia actually is key is crushing. Yeah, he's a, he's crushing it. This guy had lake front property and he ruined it. Yes.

Yeah. He made it whole front property. Yeah. A seven acre lake, like just perfect. How do you, so 18 days seems like it's not even that long. He probably had, he was probably being like, this is it. Got as many people draining it as humanly possible. He drain it himself. He got his tractor

He got a big pump and just you know, I'm he probably flooded one of his fields to do it. I can't get you no one killed him Well monster hunters were still turning up in droves and Farmer Gale remarked that he wasn't even able to get his daily chores done for all the crowds he had to address He'd also gone quite deep into debt on his turtle expedition and Farmer Gale remarked that he wasn't even able to get his daily chores done for all the crowds he had to address. He'd also gone quite deep into debt on his turtle expedition. He had to pay for the crane operator, the 400 bucks for the fucking divers, the pump that he had to buy. So my, ship it in a turtle from Florida.

Yeah, he shipped in a giant turtle. And that could have 50. That could have been the turtle. Yeah. Like, you could have just gotten that turtle. I mean, 50 that could have been the turtle. Yeah, like you could have just gotten that turtle I've been like here's the big turtle But it weren't even that big a turtles. It's just regular size turtles And then why would it want to fuck the small turtle? But well because apparently the beast of busco likes and petite

Ha like he's fucking like what's his name like he's the lexington steel like, what's his name? Like he's the lexington steel. Well, by the end of that summer, Farmer Gale and his wife were forced to put their 120-acre farm and all their equipment up for auction, having never found the beast of busco. Absolutely nothing left. What kind of farm was it? Don't know. Indiana? Corn? Probably corn or like soybeans or some shit. I do the, don't the, they have a lot of sorrow. I think it was a sorrow. Five years later though, farmer gales drained lake, suddenly swallowed up 150 yards of road, sinking it by 12 feet. Now some say that this is because an underwater cavern collapsed

under the road, the very cavern where Oscar made his home. This some say that this is because an underwater cavern collapsed under the road. The very cavern where Oscar made his home. This they say is why Farmer Gale was never able to capture his query because Oscar always had a place to hide. It's also why Oscar has not been seen since because he may have died in the collapse. No, he is home. This guy should have died in prison. He should have been torn apart by like 10 snapping turtles. Yeah, that's what they say. I'm like, yes, yeah, the idea is that the let messy hides in some form of like one of the theories that messy is real is the fact that it might be a some form of modern pleziosaur or jot literally or just a very, very, very big fish that lives in a cavern in the bottom of Loch Ness.

But they've sent, you know, they've, they've looked for it a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Or that there's a cavern, there are, there's a tunnel that's leading from Loch Ness out to the ocean to some other place. Yeah. And it just comes back because it likes it there. Yeah. Love Scotland. Yeah. And it just comes back as it likes it there. Yeah. Love Scotland. Yeah. The road, however, continues to sink to this day. And it is now widely thought that the real cause of the collapse was farmer gales over zealous destruction of a natural habitat due to his obsession with a big turtle. He fracked his own house. Yeah. He really did. But even though it's search resulted in chaos, the town of Churabusko celebrate the Churabusko Turtle Days festival every June. That's fun. Complete with a parade, a carnival, and the Miss Turtle Days pageant sponsored by Surf Internet. You know, I wish, because you know, it's always some beautiful woman for Miss Turtle Days. Mm-hmm. I wish it was a TURDLY woman.

Right, let me look, see who won. Did you see who won? I didn't see who won. I want to see. It doesn't seem like a very formal affair from what I could tell. Yeah. You don't think it's totally the woman who looks most like a turtle in town. That would be incredible. That would be that would be horrible. No, no, it's celebrate. It's like, was it the celebrate? It was the parade of fools like in the hunchback of Nutsford Hall. But when they go and they are like, no, no, that was the, that was celebrating humiliating. No, it's celebrating the unfortunate. Can we not say the fortunate, it's an emotional celebration of the fools.

Yeah, we have, but it's still, look, it's little girls. Yeah, it's little girls. Yeah, that's well, I'm sad now. It's actually now entirely inappropriate. That's actually it's a beauty pageant for little girls. I'm glad you looked it up. Yeah, to be honest with you. The other one I just been talking about that.

Yeah, just sweet little girls. It's an extraordinarily innocent affair. I mean, last year they had a Cinderella impersonator come and do a meet and greet. They had a baby crawling contest. See, I just thought it'd be like a woman with a slope. It's kind of like, pin-shaped head just going like, normally I sleep in the

forest. But today I'm allowed to come to town. But no, they don't, they're barely no, no. Yeah, they take a little test. That's about appearance, public speaking ability and personality, which is weird. And I grew up with the three highest scores in each age group will be recognized. But I don't know what the means by you got best personality. I don't know what that means. It's a, we had one back home, like in the next town over in Haskell, the Prairie Days, the Prairie Days pageant.

I think, yeah. Best personality is usually ugliest. Usually. Usually. Usually. No. They sometimes say that I give the children nightmares, but now everyone can see I'm just a lady.

So it usually goes to whatever girl's nicknamed Stonehands. Well, the baby crawling contest that sponsor by Breven's eatery and lounge and local musician Gary Jones performed an acoustic act on the main turtle day state. Oh, wow. And to top it all off on Saturday night, there was a fireworks display last year put on by Cam Thor by Riteknex. Is this all just sponsor? Are we just saying all the sponsors?

It's run by what seems like an incredibly sweet man named Matt green. So if you're in the market for a firework show in Northeastern Indiana, go cam tour. But I will say due to the region that he's from, we do not subscribe to any of the political views or opinions of Matt green. I checked out his Facebook page and he kept it sweet. Yeah, that's what I'll say. No politics kept a sweet. Hey, man, I'm about turtles.

Keep it true. Yeah, that's a wonderful thing. There works. Right from North way. But while the beast of busco has taken a turn to the area of the entirely wholesome, some cryptid towns like Abbeyville, Alabama have a bit of an edge. There, you can hear the legend of a giant seven foot tall woman named Huggin Molly. Oh boy. I met her. I think she just won the Miss Turtle days back in India.

I thought she was coming up. You showed me a picture over at the beginning, right? Yes. I think she showed up to a couple of Remington greets back in that advance. I think she showed up to a couple of our meet and greets back. I'm at the fan. I love a hug and Molly. According to the story, Hug and Molly is a ghost as big around as a bail a cut. Oh, she wears a long black dress. And if Hug and Molly hears you wandering around at night, she'll chase you down, hug you and scream in your ear.

Uh, it's almost delightful. Yeah, almost delightful. No, she just screams and screams. She got me last night. No, you thought you met Huggin' Mally. You met a screaming Teresa. That's the mage dog. She's pretty much a loud run of these of these here parts.

All right. You just better just like, just let her fit. Yeah, she's not as big as a Bella Cotton as much as she's big as a Bella Hat. Yeah, she's just, she's up. It's more of a presence, the presence is stipulate. I don't want to start that band, the screaming to recess.

Yeah. Well, interestingly, the bones for the hug and Molly legend are hundreds of years old and usually involves a woman wearing a long black cloak, stalking the night for people to hug the death. I love a tall woman. Yeah, I'm really especially strong when I like when they would lift and wait to stop. I think it's great.

I also like to be held. Yeah. Yeah, lift me up. Toss me around. Mm-hmm. But while Abaville Alabama doesn't base their entire economy around hug and Molly, there is a 1950s throwback restaurant called Hug and Molly's. It's been around since 2006.

According to its website, it serves burgers, shakes, and friendly hugs. Can I skip the hug? No, Molly, Molly you get him. He's from New York City. So put your head in between my city. And then you're just like, my god, I'm never leaving this town ever again. One friendly hug and next thing I know, I'm now the proprietor of Hulken Mollies. I'm here. Try the chili.

But so far, we've had creatures of wonder, creatures of fear and creatures of folklore. But for our next cryptid town, we'll be discussing a creature of woe. Now, I don't want to like, you know, derail, but that's all we got on Hug and Molly. That's all we got on Hug and Molly. That's all because tall woman. Yeah, it's just a big woman who grabs people and screams and all. She's the only one that actually existed at sea.

Denny's Hugogan Molly was around. There is no way that there was not an OG Hogan Molly, but I feel like I would love to meet Hogan Molly. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. We talked to her for four minutes. Yeah. But then I just been like, let's get in with the Hogan.

There was one other thing where it was said that Hogan Molly was based on a teacher, a professor from one of the local colleges who would roam the streets at night to make sure that students didn't stay out too late. And she would scream at them to get them to go away. She's who's married to the mascot of the Crimson tide. It's an elephant. It's an elephant.

Oh, listen, they are all talking about, oh, wow, this is actually a fun website for hug and Molly's. wow, this is actually fun website for Hogan Mollies. Yeah, it is. But this creature of whoa that I speak of is the gloomy, downhearted cryptid, known as the Squawk. Squawk? Just gonna put this out there.

Don't, it's kind of an asshole. Yeah. Squawk's an asshole. People are too sad. He's like, he's dashboard confessional style. Yeah. Heawks and assholes. People are too sad. He's like, he's dashboard confessional style. Yeah. He's sad all the time. What were you saying don't too?

What do you think I was gonna tell you? I thought you were gonna talk about fucking a squawk against a twill. I'm not talking about, I mean, I'm saying it's LinkedIn. I'm saying it's into it. Okay, no, we can't say that. Yeah, you're fucking, yeah.

You can't say that the squawk likes to be raped. No, I didn't say that. Oh, it says we can't say that. Yeah, you're fucking yeah, we can't say that the squonk likes to be raped. No, I didn't say that. It says yes, and then it cries. Yeah. Crying is its natural reaction. I asked the same thing the first time I was stuck in it, and it started crying. I felt bad. And then afterwards it's like, no, I like this. This is as good as I feel. This is the policy. It's the best I felt all day. I'm just crying because I'm thinking about tomorrow. Tomorrow would not get it. Because right now while you're filling all my jugando holes, I know somebody gives a shit. your gun to holes. I know somebody gives a shit. Oh, I'm out of peps. Now this creature hails from Johnstown, Pennsylvania, which according to listener Brandy is a town known for its high crime rate, a devastating dam failure

that killed over 2000 people in 1889 and the squunk. They all fit together. Yep, yeah. Now, the squunk is by no means a new invention. Accounts first appeared back in 1910. And while it's place of origin sometimes differs, its physical appearance is what the squunk is known for, as it is by far the least attractive of the cryptids.

Hey, you know, isn't that the most attractive of all the cryptids? I think of all the crew. I mean, that's what it's reputation. No, it is definitely. It's reputation is that it's whole thing. Is it it's so ugly that it's sad? I think it just kind of looks like Al Roker with his clothes off. It's probably John Fender.

Ah, hey. He said we have to defend our most shrek-like politician. He is clinically depressed. As it was originally described in the book, fearsome creatures of the lumber wood, the squawk is, quote, a most retiring, bashful, crepuscular animal, meaning that it is most active during the hours of twilight. Crepuscular sounds like an insult, but it is not. Physically, the squawk's skin hangs about its body in such a way as to imply that it may have originally belonged to another creature, and this is in addition to its many warts and

moles. No, it just lost a lot of weight. And I'm a rough cat, buy new clothes, I'm scared by new clothes. And look, reconstructive surgery killed Kanye's mother. I can't do it. Zipping me up because it's so ugly and so small to boot, resembling a pot belly pig and size and shape. The squunk is said to always be unhappy to say the least. And as a consequence, leaves a tear-stained trail wherever it goes as it trudges through existence.

Paris Hilton will never buy me. No one will have me in their home. No one wants to invite me to dinner. No one's railing me. What am I going to do? So it's not even angry, it's just sad. It's just, oh no, it's just sad. It's so sad that it makes you angry.

Oh, okay, well I know that. You don't care about me. Because all you see, don't care about my story. The squunk is also said to have had the world's worst defense mechanism. When cornered, surprised, or frightened, the squunk becomes so upset that it supposedly dissolves itself into a puddle of tears. I'm a victim! Everywhere I go, I'm blamed for everything.

I'd hang myself, but my rope is itchy. I am so sick of being sad. Now the squunk was admittedly the invention of author William Thomas Cox, who in 1910 wanted to bring attention to the destruction of the native hemlock plant due to an invasive insect species, and he used the squunk as a sort of a hook to bring attention to his car. Not a single person is ever once thought about that issue ever since. He ruined the entire fucking thing.

He is more on and he was wrong, but thank you for the squunk. He claimed the squunk was once plentiful around the high plains when vegetation was more abundant, but when the climate changed and the plains turned to grassland, the squawk migrated to the swamps of Pennsylvania. Oh, no, I gotta move to Allentown. Allentown sucks. Billy Joel's second worst song. Next to Piano Man. Yeah, I don't like piano man.

Or sweet Caroline. that's Neil Diamond sir there Cox wrote the squawk evolved webbing only on its left foot because it never wanted to go all the way into the water it's. I like to swim in a circle so I go nowhere. So everybody knows my life is pointless. I'm aimless. Actually, that is part of the legend, the squawk. If it gets into the water, it will swim into a circle until it dies of starvation.

There's God, I'm dead. I just can't believe it took so long. And one can find the skeletons of squawks covering the lake beds and swamp bottoms of Pennsylvania. Full of fish shit. Yeah. Now the Squonk is a sad creature indeed. So every year, the hamlet of John's town, Pennsylvania, holds a festival of sorts called Squonka Paloza, where Mary-Makers go to let the Squonk know that he is indeed loved. It's not enough.

Where Mary-Makers go to let the Squunk know that he is indeed loved. It's not enough. Your Squunk is everywhere. Oh my God, how many people were called Squunk until they fucking kill themselves? Oh yeah, really? Get this fucking out. We're like, we're gonna invite Jerry to night. You know, he's a real fucking Squunk. Hey, oh, you guys wanna do karaoke? Karaoke's dumb.

The next squonka polusa is this August 24th, and it has a cryptid cosplay contest, plus guest speakers doing talks on cryptids. It's more, it's more cryptid based than like turtle days. Otherwise, I have absolutely no idea what happens at squonka polusa, although it does seem like a weekend well spent. It does. I actually would love to go to squonka polusa although it does seem like a weekend well spent It does I actually would love to go to squonka. Yeah, you can enter the loose a skin contest

I might win you know yeah out of all the people I know your skin is very loose. I got the side flaps Yeah, you do yeah, they're nice. They're fun and when you Shimmy they move now I'm insulted if did a handstand, your breasts would be a blindfold. I'm gonna walk out of here. I gotta get out of here. Now, while the Squunk is admittedly, the most emo-crypted to lean into, other towns tap into the fierceness of their local cryptid, like the people of Rhineland or Wisconsin with the legendary Hodeag. Yeah, Hodeag is like, he's a good old-fashioned mascot style cryptid Yeah. With sightings, making the papers going all the way back to 1890, the whole deck has the head of a frog and the face of a giant grinning elephant with

short legs, huge claws, the body of a dinosaur and a long tail covered in protruding spear. It's very creative. All right, hold on. Okay, we got to go back. This is, that's too much. It is. So it's got the head of a frog, but the face of a happy elephant.

Yes. Yes. Yes. A grinning elephant. A grinning elephant is on the other side of the side of a grass. Yeah. Yeah. Can be like the joke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have a trunk.

No. But it just has the face of a grinning elephant. But if you don't have a trunk, how do you have the face of a grinning elephant? The Hodeag and the Squunk are by far the most made up of all of these. Yeah. That's how I put this. The Hodag is, it is a marketing ploy. I think it's just a son ugly man,

who his name was Hodag. This frog headed elephant face. Yeah. Gridden like a maniac. And probably only said the word Hodag. So can we, I just, I really want to picture this in my head if you don't mind. Sure. He said it's a frog head, frog elephant face.

Elephant face. What's next? Grining elephant face. What's next? Short legs. Short legs. Okay. Huge claws.

Okay. Body of a dinosaur. Think like a stegosaurus. Okay. And a long tail covered in spears like a stegosaurus. So stegosaurus body, frog head, elephant base, grinning in the small legs. Yep. Well, stegosaurus is small legs, I guess. Yeah. Was it happy? Is it sad? What's the seal? I don't know. Oh, it's mean. Okay. Now, while this sounds ridiculous, a local timber man named Eugene Shepherd convinced

a bunch of other lumberjacks back in 1893 that he'd seen the great beast And they left town equipped with dynamite to take it down. God so much fun. Yeah, I want to do that so bad. I want to go kill a big monster so bad. Yeah with dynamite nothing but dynamite Soon after they returned to town with the charred remains of something that was once large in a lie Although don't really know what exactly it was. We blew something up. Yep. Buffalo.

Yeah. A horse cow. Probably a big cow or a bear. Oh. Yeah. And the photographs, of course, went viral from then on. Eugene Shepherd was known as the Hodeag guy, which was a role he heavily leaned into. Sure.

Reputedly a prankster who spent extravagantly, but made a Hodeag guy salary shepherd was known to shove a lathered up bar of soap in his mouth. Anytime his creditors caught up to him and he'd snarl and how like he had rabies until the creditors just gave up and went away. That's actually a great idea. It's a fun idea. I always pretend to be my assistant. Yeah.

Unfortunately, Mr. Larsen is unable to come to the ball. Well, as far as his Hodeag game went, he'd invite people over to his barn to see a living specimen, presumably for a small fee. And once the crowd arrived at the barn where Shepherd said he kept his Hodeag, he'd say that he had to go in first to check to make sure it was safe. And he would always wear a nice suit for the Hodeag show. This is my favorite bit. This is a great bit. I want to do this. Dutacod bit.

After disappearing into the darkness, the crowd will hear the sounds of gnashing, tearing, snarling, roaring, and screaming. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh This would go on for a few minutes Then shepherd would emerge with his nice new suit all ripped up and he'd do that every time He buy a new suit every time sorry y'all Hodak's piss that's what he would say he's like I'm I apologize, but today the whole bag is in no mood for business. That's a great show. Such a great show. It's so square. The Rhinelander Wisconsin, the Hodags hometown is the definition of small town commerce built on a crypt. It's the official symbol of the town, the mascot of the high school, and the mascot of many local businesses.

They also have a festival. It's huge. They have, by far, the most successful cryptid theme festival out there, the Hodeag Country Music Festival. Okay. An estimated 30 to 50,000 people attend every year. It's big. It's like nine days long.

They have an annual regional battle of the bands. Amazing. They've had Garth Brooks. Who looks like a ho-dag? He knows. Talk about that. Yes. Have you seen him lately? Yeah, well, he's more like Garth Brooksraw played. So all the old dang look at the

door. Reba Mack and Tyra is beautiful. All the ones who were better actors than musicians. Okay. Yeah. You don't think Reba's good? I like Reba. Okay. I'm talking personal preference here. She's a great actor. Like she's that's what I mean.

I prefer her as an actor. Interesting. And I also prefer Tim McGraw as an actor as a musician. He was incredible in 1883. He really was. Him and Faith Hill were absolutely insanely good in that show. I was so surprised. Yeah, good.

They were. Oh, well, yeah, you're so good. I didn't know. Yeah. You know, if you know Tim, if you know Tim McGraw, tell him, great job. Oh, yeah. Reba, I love you as a singer. Yeah.

Oh, when are you? And I have to give him. Sim, the talkin' bow. That's Bonnie Rape. Okay. I'm also in love with That's Bonnie Raid. Okay. I'm also in love with it. Bonnie Raid's unbelievable. She is.

She's more of a blues person. I would marry either one of these women, but I'm more good up. Sorry, ladies. Redheads. Yeah. All redheads. It works.

Interesting. But when it comes to Hodgepodge cryptids and the towns that love them, the only one that rivals the Hodeag is the Snally Gaster of Frederick County, Maryland. Now the Snelli-Gasters are nasty some, but yeah. With sightings as far back as the 1700s, the Snelli-Gaster got its name from German immigrants. They called it Dishnella Geist, or Quick Spirit.

That's cool. That evolves into Snelli-Gaster. So Snelli-Gaster sounds like a Ramstein album. But it's awesome. Out of all the cryptids we talked about today, the snally gaster has the worst name, but it's also the creepiest. It has one eye, a big beak, a dragon-like body, and lovecraftian tentacles, spilling forth from its mouth.

It's fucking sweet. I feel like it could be a bunch of snakes. It could be, you could see a bunch of snakes, but also, you know, we talk about flying snakes. You know, but the Kraken, you know, for a long time was considered a mythical creature. And now we know that they are giant squids that come in and out. So it could have been a squid-like thing. A squid-like, a flying squid-like thing. Or jumping, just so I'm through an octopus.

Yeah, and that's just now, I guess. I think it's a great meal for if you do, if that's a good like fun themed poopo meal. Stally gastro. Yeah. Stally gastro platter. That's nice. Additionally, the Stanley gastro supposedly emits a sulfuric smell. It makes a screeching noise. It sounds like a train whistle and it lays eggs big enough to hatch a horse. Whoa, baby horse or full grown horse. That's a big egg.

They love their more eggs. It lives in caves and mountain cliffs and its favorite foods to snatch up are livestock. And of course, it's a cautionary cryptid. Don't go out into the forest or else the snout would gask or get you. But it's like, all right. So like, how big is it's your e-thra that it's laying these eggs? It's a big old pussy.

Like, why would it just stop and eat children? But things are laying a horse-sized egg. Things that are tentically, right? They are mostly, I might be talking out of school. They're a lot of vagina. They're mostly tubes. But sometimes they got beaks down there. Yeah, but they are like tube like things.

Colomar, it's all just tubes, right? You know, egg slipping out of the thing. It's all vagina. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably it. I'm not biologist. It'll turn to explanation of the snally gastro though.

It said that it might be a sort of demon ghost spirit. Yeah, because I've these are probably areas of the world that are actually kind of spooky. Well, this is Maryland, you know, so anywhere on the east coast of America, you know, especially like once you're getting into like New England, it's just all spooky all the time. Yeah, yeah, very spooky. Yeah. After one sighting in which the snally gas to drink an entire hundred gallon tub of water, it actually spoke and said, quote,

Mom, drive. I haven't had a good drink since I was killed in a battle of Chickamaga. From that, people extrapolated that this beast must be the ghost of a civil war. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, those are snally gastro. While the snally gastro has been a part of Maryland folk lore since before our country Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, very similar to a Wolfman story, like the concept of you, a fucking crazy person, a psychopath, murder to the fuck out of somebody.

And instead of being like, you know, wrapping your head around like you got a guy that got like over the top, ultra killed by another human, you can apply it to some kind of animal, like a saline guest. Yeah, interestingly, that report came just a month after the first sightings of the Jersey Devil, which kind of plays into the idea that cryptids are interdimensional beings that sometimes show up on mass, a la the cryptid flap. Cryptids are in the air.

Yeah. At certain points in history, and it could be that at this point in history, two of the most well-known cryptids of this area of the country both appeared at the same time, although the Jersey devil does now have top billing. Now, this makes sense because like it's a government area, you know, they're doing experiments over there. One day they could have opened a door like in the midst of this year. I really hope that we get into the Montauk project because we have a bunch of research now we're working on but that concept of that Is been around a long time people geoengineering animals into some other new thing, you know like app and all over

Stalin's Russia talk about making monkey human So they wanted it. They wanted it to be do you know about Stalin's monkey man? No, I'll send you a link Please They wanted it to be. Do you know about Stalin's monkey men? No. I'll send you a link. Please. Sounds wonderful. It'll challenge a lot of what you view about history. Well, while the Jersey devil has its own reputation, the snailagaster way back when caught the attention of none other than President Teddy Roosevelt, who announced that he was going to hunt down the beast himself after his term ended.

That's what every, every president should end with a cryptid hunt. It does kind of ruin his credibility. Technically, that's what Barack Obama's doing right now. Yeah. He's making alien documentary and shit. He is on a cryptid hunt. He's going to end up on a fucking Annie show and I'm going to lose my mind. Yeah. When he's out there

doing like, we're gonna see, let's, you know, we're gonna find this trooper cup. I don't know, I can't do it on my version. No, but I do. I'm doing a, it's like him having a beer with a super cobra. You know, I mean, he knows though, if they're aliens, he knows he coiled he plays off like he doesn't. That's a thing. Is it, this sounds like it's not real. The Teddy Roosevelt was going to like after my terms over, I'm going to go to Maryland. I'm going to hunt this creature down. It absolutely is. See, Teddy Roosevelt was famously a hunter and he had an African safari plan

for when he got out of office, but he reportedly considered postponing that safari to hunt the deadly snailigaster. As the story goes, Roosevelt's interest was peaked not just by the 1909 story, but by the stories that preceded it. Reportedly, a trapper had been killed in the area by a wild beast, and his half-eaten remains were discovered by prospectors who had no idea what had killed him. This was, of course, enough cause for most people to steer clear of the area. Immediately sounds like when cattle get mutilated by aliens,

or just a pile of flesh and bones. Even so, a German trapper named Bauman and his partner decided to brave the killing fields in a quest for Beaver peltz. They just, you know, we got it. Yeah, we get it. Yeah, it's like, you're imagination. They decided to set traps in the area in which the snally gasters last victim had been found, because they'd had good luck in that area before.

And they paid no heed to the warnings that a fearsome beast lurked within. But after sleeping in the area overnight, the two trappers awoke to discover that a bear had ransacked their camp, or so they thought it first. After one of them analyzed the tracks, he realized that this, quote, unquote, bear was walking on two legs.

There must be something insane about this bear. There's no way this was a guy. Well, bears, if they hurt one of their front paws, walk on two legs. Yeah, they walk around. Sometimes the bear will have like a brain injury or like have a fungus. This is real. And they will walk around on two legs, like a a brain injury or like have a fungus. This is real. And they will walk around in two legs, like a dog or a cat can do that as well. That's the thing.

They wrote it off as a fluke and they continued their beaver hunt. But the next night at midnight and odor entered their camp that was so strong that it actually woke Bauman out of his sleep. Sorry. It was me. Your partner. You then saw a quote great body walking through the can. So he grabbed his rifle and fired.

He missed and the creature escaped. Thank God, because if not, Scarlett Johansson, if not, it's a present time. That's true. So you're saying that Scarlett Johansson is a time traveler from the year 1910. No, our father's a snally gastric. Yeah, she's a great body. Put that in. For the next few comments, commentary. Pop culture commentary. from the year 1910. No, our father's a snally guest. Yeah, great buddy. Put that in.

For the next few comments commentary, pop culture commentary. Oh, good to come. You're very good at. Thank you. For the next few days, Bauman and his partner would go out to check their traps, but they would return each time to find their camp either disturbed or destroyed.

Finally, though, they decided to watch for the creature at camp in shifts. But on that very night, they heard several harsh, grating, long moans. Oh! Hey! It's got out of here. After that, they decided it was probably time to leave. Now they woke up the next morning intending to leave the area, but there was still the

matter of the beaver traps. By noon, there were still three left to collect. So Bauman volunteered to collect the traps himself, while his partner sat down to make one more camp. Do you watch alone? My favorite shows in the world. No, where they said, it's basically naked and afraid, but legit.

Yeah. Where they're allowed to go, where they have to live for as long as possible in this remote area, they get like to bring 10 things with them and set in snares and stuff like that. Like they're good at naked and afraid. They suck, everybody sucks in that show.

Yeah. Where it's like, but alone they really do it. It's a real show, yeah. It's weird because I feel like they're good at making it in front of these suck. Everybody sucks on that show. Yeah. Where it's like, but alone, they really do it. It's a real show. Yeah. It's weird because I feel like they could. If you're going to capture cryptid, that's why we're not doing it. Everyone, like, there's always like a philosophy about big foot because no one wants to hurt it. For the most part, there will there's one camp that says shoot a big foot in the head. If you see it, yeah. And there's another camp saying that we have to capture and study it worse. Technically a worst life in the Bay. Is there a third camp that's like, leave it alone? Yes. Well, that's the SCAT camp.

Oh, okay. That's the one that says, follow the big foot until it takes a shit and then put that in a jar and study it. That's the proof. Yeah. But I wonder, like, if you were going to capture or crypt it, that's how you do it. Yeah. But when Bowman returned, he found his friend dead with a broken neck and four great

fang marks on his throat. By looking at the tracks and camp, Bowman surmised that the creature had snuck up behind his partner, broke his neck and sank his teeth into the throat. The OJ defense. No, it certainly was not me because I would not have had anything to do with the murder if it wasn't for that stinking waiter. He nods Karate. And he had to find.

After realizing what happened, Bauman claimed to have run out into the woods with his rifle to avenge his friend. He was going to find the real killer. I couldn't find that squid creature anyway. So we got new as Bronco. He put his best friend next to him in the car. He was a car. It was a white Bronco, but it was a horse. And he took over the whole trail.

Like, and he did a slow trot with his white Bronco. Unable to find the creature. Oh, what? Now, this story was so convincing to Teddy Roosevelt that he published it in his book, The Wilderness Hunter, making it one of the very, very few cryptid encounters to have been validated by a mainstream figure. By a president. By a president, yes.

By a Mount Rushmore president. Yeah. But also like Teddy Roosevelt wrote like a lot of books. He wrote like 40 books. Yeah. But the only cryptid base. Yeah, it wasn't like dreams of my father. Like it was just another thing that he just wrote and shout out.

Like with all his naval books. Was dreams of my father about a cryptid? No, it wasn't. But it was a big book. I dreams of my father about a cryptid? No, it wasn't. But it wasn't face book. I'm saying it was like a big book. It's not like fucking Obama and dreams of my father putting like the time that he fucking ran into the Jersey devil. You know what I needed?

That definitely needed this, the chapter about the Jersey devil and for me to care. Teddy Roosevelt got shot in the chest. Yeah, during his speech, he finished his speech. And his speech, yeah. Incredible man. It's fucking cool. Yeah, should have made that promise about not running

for a second term. It was the worst thing he ever did. Whole Landscape American politics different right now. I don't even care. I know I know that you know Teddy Roosevelt and Taft Used to be best friends enemies. I really I like their mustache. Yeah, yeah, because you know, and then it's cousin for terms Yeah, four terms no legs Yeah, and his cousin also married his favorite cousin. Wow. Yep. Eleanor was a Teddy's favorite cousin. C'mon. He's like the Hall of Presidents.

Today, however, many crypto zoologists believe that the creature who killed the trapper was not the snallygaster, but an ornary bigfoot. All right. Oh, come on. We know that he does not bigfoot does not come into the Chesapeake Bay area. How did this guy get away with killing his brother? It's what happens. It's like the most elaborate live. Everyone's like, yeah, that sounds about right? It must have been the Stanley Gaster. To the president. It's like, whoa. What's because they were excited. It shows like the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it.

Oh, yeah. Weirdly, though, the snally gaster is also the only cryptid that I know of that's also erased. Mm-hmm. After the Civil War, it was said that the snally gaster only ate black people and specifically black people who voted Democrat as opposed to the party of Lincoln. So was this guy black? No. No, German.

So it's a lie. Hold this fucking chin. This but this was actually deadly serious. This is where like cryptid stuff kind of reflects. It gets very exciting. This is when cryptid stuff gets very, very dark. Okay. Shit like this, it was a pretty much a thinly veiled threat.

It would imply it would imply it to newly freed black people. If you don't fall in line, if you don't do what we say, you're going to die one way or another. The snack quote unquote, snalligaster is going to come get you. Yeah. There was, however, a newspaper report in 1932 that a snalligaster had actually been killed. As the story was relayed in the Valley Register, a snally-gaster had fallen into a 2500 gallon bat of illegal moonshine in a secluded location called Frog Hollow after being overcome by the moonshine few. Tell you what this sounds, this sounds like merch.

Yes. Selling liquor with a tentacle of a snally-gaster at the bottom bit, with a tentacle touch a snailigaster at the bottom bit. Let the tentacle touch your lips. That's it. That's it. Since these were prohibition days, the five workers at the illegal still fled for West Virginia once the snailigaster fell in. But the next day, two revenues found the illegal alcohol manufacturing plant along with the dead snailigaster in the vet.

But since large amounts of lie have been used to speed up the moonshine manufacturer, the only evidence left to the snalligaster were its bones, because the Li had dissolved its flesh. But not concerned with what this discovery might mean to cryptozoology, the revenues focused on destroying the operation instead, and blew up the VAT along with the remains of the dead snalligaster with 500 pounds of dynamite. Stally gaster is the one with the most bodies attached to it because all these people use the snally gaster to cover their crime.

That was a man that fell in the van. That was absolutely a guy that fell in the van. Four men. That's a lot of bones. Yes. It might have been that the revenue is, yeah, had, you know, stop or I'll shoot the man fell into the that and then fell into a big vat of lie and then, you know, who was like, you know, the Joker except dead. Yeah. Now we got to get the Joker would have died. Yeah. Yes. Now do you think that it would

have they used a snally gas to again for fear to get people to stop brewing liquor? Who knows? No, because it's dead. Oh, okay. At that point, yeah. But still, just the idea of it being around. It likes it. It does. It does like it. Yeah. But perhaps in honor of this story, a beer festival is held every year in Washington, DC called the Snelli gastro where a bunch of small brewers set up in a parking lot. Everyone gets drunk while reggae, scott and electronic artists play on two different stages. Tickets are available at SnelliGasterDC.com. And we have no affiliation with them. And they might be angry that we're doing it. But at the same time, go pick up tickets at

stallygasterdc.com. We're not going to do a direct call to action. We will say the tickets are available at snallygasterdc. I mean, I love the thing that the snallygaster only listens to reggae and scum. Bob, Bob, Bob. Honestly, that would be a, that would be a groovy ass, Natalie Gaster. Yeah.

But only this is an old sky, only scottalites. Yeah. Sanders playing the pie tasters. Pie tasters is a popular. DJ analyze. Is it bad brands from DC? Yeah. Trouble funk.

Probably like the Natalie Gaster. Yeah. Sure. Well, Natalie Gaster would be a great name for an album. It'd be fine. It'd be okay. All right, fine. It would be fine.

Well, this is like, I like this story. This is like a love going through the world of cryptids because it's been a minute since we've really kind of traffic met worlds. First time walking through, I love the idea of these things are only as real as people think they are. And there is something to the idea of so much thought and energy putting put towards one of these entities.

Like there's something that does kind of give it life and certain things that like stuff like the Stanley Gasser would's weird is that because it had actual implications, technically way real or then of a lot of other conceptual things. So it's like it's the Stanley gas is weird. It's real or the Nail again. It's a real or then it goes because you know, technically is they've been the cover of many crimes. So you believe in the Stanley gas or over aliens.

What the term that there is more objective, quote unquote, proof of a sally gaster that many crimes have been blamed on the many. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it thought forms people seen shit. I didn't hear any mention of the super cobra. Who were you trying to protect? Oh, you see this super cobra is again, that is a, I'm not going to, I'm not going to say

a cynical marketing boy for from Ed to get more soup based products had sent his way. I love soup. We don't know. I don't know. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there.

We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. We're still there. I know one day we're gonna show up and our fucking PO box is just gonna have a fat full of fucking split P in half and I'm fine on soup. I'm new I'm soup neutral. Yeah my wife's a big

suit my wife's white suit. All the ladies love soup. Yeah girls love the slurp. They just say just absolutely love it. That's Natalie's favorite. Yeah she loves the slurping edge. Well thank you guys. Thank you. We got a lot of shit going on in the OSS operation. Sunshine number four is available. Go and get it. I bought it. Yep. Thank you.

Thank you. Good work. It's in the store. More money back in our fucking pockets. Thank you. And then we, we're going to have a lot more announcements coming up. Yeah. We have the thing shifting around brand new studio.

We're going to have a bunch of new shit coming out from the twitch.tv slash LPN TV. We got producer chose, producer stuff for that. Can't wait. We got a last stream on the left. They still going strong. We're gonna be up going this Tuesday. If you subscribe to the Patreon, you get to see it live. Yeah, that's fun. And if you're on the Patreon, you get to watch the podcast. Yeah, and you can be me, you can say mean things to us. Yeah, and if you want to watch a twitch.tv slash LPN TV every other Monday at 6 p.m PST perfect no dogs in space live me and Carolina come on do some cool shit

We're gonna be up in the game. Gonna be a good time. Come on out this Monday just so long as the internet is working Yeah, nice and on Wednesday at 5 p.m. can check out Brighters' Highline with Amber and I. Yeah, very good. It's gonna be a lot of fun. We're gonna do a good putt once we get things sorted out. We're gonna come back with some good, we're coming back with. You're gonna see, we have a big plan.

Best putt, best putt. I don't wanna know what, I don't wanna hear about best putt. I'll show you like it. Start. Hell's it. Koggy, help Mr. Turtle. Thanks. I'll show you like it. Start. Hell's it. Koggy. Hell, Mr. Turtle. Thanks.

That's just me. No. And one you just listen to, go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.