Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 577: Armin Meiwes Part II - The Final Taboo

Episode Date: June 15, 2024

Hungry for more? Well, you’re in luck! This week the boys dice their way into Gold Star Territory with the gruesome conclusion to the tale of “The Master Butcher” Armin Meiwes and his volunteering victim Bernd Brandes. 

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Thanks, honey I'm cold-blooded. Mmm. Eggs to Spring Hill Jack and last hot gas on the left. I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton. There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot gas on the left. There's no place to escape to. This is the last time.

On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. Man, nothing has to be as disappointing as finding out that you don't even have enough dick for lunch. I know I don't. I know I don't. I know I don't. Nobody does. Well, if you could have, for me, you could have one ball for one lunch and another for dinner.

That's different. But that's all if you want to eat the same thing twice. Absolutely. And that's the type of German eggs that I don't want. I don't want your German eggs. It's just weird the idea Germany what a great day today's gonna be welcome to last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen My name is Marcus Sparks. I'm here with Henry's a brown ski hungry hungry Henry's a prousy. Oh

Marcus Sparks. I'm here with Henry Zabrowski hungry hungry Henry Zabrowski. Oh man. I honestly, I did. I did eat lunch. What'd you have? I had, I had my Gert. I had berries and Gert. I had that for breakfast. Yeah. That was my lunch. Not a green smoothie for lunch today, knowing that we were going to have this episode, but I am excited about today because today it's time for dude to be on the menu We made it and of course making it with us is Ed Larson mmm for years I worked at a cheesesteak restaurant Years 99 miles to Philly. Yeah, one of the saddest things The meat like when you do a it comes pretty shit pre-shaving But we kind of half cook it and then put it with some juice on the side and then freeze it and then unfreeze it It doesn't come in a frozen block that you shave sections off because I wonder how he'd make cheese

Dick like how would he make human cheesesteak? I would imagine he'd probably use the back and shave it Yeah, but you know we never went through't, you know, it was a storefront, you know, we're not shaving legs of cow and shit like that. No, no. They're giving us the meat. It's got a little deli paper in between it and we're flapping on the grill. Yeah. It's a tiny little place in the East village and man, I miss that place. I miss that place. But guys today it's getting romantic, but just remember tone's going gonna shift because last week you remember like again it does again. It gets very romantic, but it gets a little intense That's why we're going from old school And of course that is Romstein Romstein Rom Rammstein with their song about, well, actually it's not necessarily about Arm and Mivus. It's more about it's from the perspective of the man Arm and Mivus

eight, the man who came to dinner and was dinner appropriately named burnt. Hey, it was medium rare. Well, that's penis. We'll get into it. No, it's interesting about Romstein. I didn't realize they're named after the town because I went to Romstein Air Force base. I don't know if it's Steinerstein. It's shine. I went to Romstein Air Force base when I did us. Oh, wow. So they're like Germany, Chicago. That's amazing. That's Chicago. Is that the version of Saturday in the Park? I love that song. So when we last left Armand Mivis, his fantasies of killing and eating another man were about to come true.

Rocky Boy! After spending months on various cannibal forums searching for a potential willing victim and coming up empty, Armand had finally found a man who was pathologically obsessed with being annihilated by another human being, culinarily speaking. As is called Epicurean cannibalism. Did you know that there's a whole world of cannibalism that's called Epicurean cannibalism, which means to eat for the taste? Wow.

Yeah. It's not for survival. I guess then you should distinct the two. Well, we do. We covered it when we covered the alive We talked about the the rugby team that that's that's technically and their poppies Which is they eating for survival? It's called survival cannibalism. But yeah, the he's just like that Yeah, I wonder if they think he's like a poser or the best

He actually did become a minor folk hero in his little community Oh interesting. Well the man who is annihilated was named Brandis and his desire because it's more it's burned instead of burnt Yeah, it's burned and his desire to be consumed and Armand's desire to feast upon flesh Matched about as perfectly as one could hope in situations such as this. Yeah, man. It's just kind of incredible Yeah, you never know when you're gonna meet your soul mate as one could hope in situations such as this. Yeah man, it's just kind of incredible. Yeah. You never know when you're gonna meet your soul mate. It wasn't a perfect match, we're gonna get into it.

It wasn't a perfect match, but. Hey, what's perfect? You know, what's perfect? Is our marriage is perfect? No, are they great? Yes. Yeah. So, they found it.

They found themselves. So Jack and Rose. Jack and Jo went up the hill to fetch a pail of blood. Yeah. Fuck that. We heard it here. Jack and Rose Jack and Joe went up the hill to fetch a pail of blood Yeah, full girl Weird in here So after a period of back and forth on email Bernd arrived at Armand's local train station with an aggressive attitude towards being killed and eaten as soon as possible, but not necessarily in that order What if Bernd did show up with just two hamburger buns? What does this look like? Is it my new hat?

As far as how a specimen such as Bernd Brandis came to be, he was born in Berlin in 1958 as the perfectly normal middle class son of two doctors. Those doctors, they spent a lot of time massaging his body with nice delicious herbs and like a sake in order to sort of like Marble them through like to get we're gonna do this the whole time. I'm saying You're starting at the very beginning you're starting with his birth you're just saying that he was first Straight out the pussy. But when Bernd was five years old, his mother accidentally killed a patient during a procedure. Dropped an anvil on him. That anvil therapy is so dangerous.

It's only in Europe. Soon after, while on vacation, his mother crashed her car into a tree, which killed her instantly. While it was ruled an accident, Baron's father always believed it to be a suicide because she couldn't live with the guilt of a patient's death. But the stress of Baron's mother's death at such a young age and the subsequent transference of his mother's guilt, this became a pathology in which Baron believed that he had to atone for his mother's failings and her death through his own

Annihilation and suffering or at least that's what's speculated there really is seems to be I don't know But a pretty big connection to mommy issues and cannibalism Well, I mean most emper I mean really also did weird cannibalistic acts. He had problems with mommy, right? I would say that most what do you call them not fetishes a lot of them are Associated with mommy it's not just cannibalism cuz mommy's got the tits Sometimes daddy's got the dicks and if you like the dicks then then daddy might give you the fetishes I remember daddy wasn't around yeah, yeah, it didn't help him, but he yeah a lot of mommy's around We're really not doing their best. Yeah, yeah if you're like, yeah, like Jeffrey Dahmer

He had issues. Yeah bad mommy. Yeah. Yeah bad mommy. Well, you know like but a distant mommy Well, he had a mommy that was incredibly depressive and that affected him in many ways And you know his parents had a horrible relationship and then they just abandoned him when he was about 16 That's when he started killing men, but that's cuz he sucked The kids suck so yeah, they were right Then they just abandoned him when he was about 16. That's when he started killing men, but that's because he sucked My parents pretty much abandoned me at 17. I didn't kill anybody Except for audiences around this country go to Eddie to And go and have him come to your local church your local funeral church, your local funeral home. I'll go anywhere. But what's most interesting about this is that both Bernd and Armin developed their fantasies at around the same age, although Armin seemed to

have been born with it, while Bernd's was created by outside forces. But we got a really interesting email on the sides, at Side Stories this week, from a person who actually does have this like cannibalism fetish and they said that through speaking with other people who have the same fetish they're like you're kind of just born with it yeah like this they just all say like and they said a lot of people get it though like when it does get kind of baked in later on a lot of people get it from the from Pinocchio like Pinocchio gets swallowed by the whale. Some of them say like, yeah, that when I watched that when I was a kid, it made me

really horny. Yeah, that's swallowed by the whale. Yeah, that's for then we're in the world of war. Is there something else entirely? Vore is the idea that you're you are sexually attracted to the idea of being entirely consumed. That's burned. Yeah, in his own way. He does like that kinda, cause his is the opposite swing, right?

Where Armins is all about the con, about looking at people as food, but burned looked in the mirror and sees pizza. Yeah. Like he literally is like, I'm hot. I'm so hot. I shouldn't exist. Yeah.

And he had no strings to hold him down Nevertheless while Armand was obsessed with consuming his entire life Baron had a lifelong obsession with being consumed and it wasn't like we'll get into it later. It wasn't just that it made him horny. It was everything. A lot of shit going on with Baron, including not being okay with being like having a lot of issues with being gay, having issues with like self love and self hatred and all that. Like Baron was a, he's a fascinating individual, but you know, he's got some problems. He's got problems.

Yeah. It seems oddly self aware. He is. He's, I think one of the most incredibly self-aware people that I've ever read about very in touch with himself. But just like Armin, Bernd was an average human being to most outside observers. He was the head of his department at Germany's largest engineering firm. And he had a string of unsuccessful

Relationships with women finally though at the age of 40 he accepted that he was gay by the end of 1999 Two years before his fateful meeting with Armin Baron was even in a healthy relationship with a man named Rene and together They built a happy life in Berlin even though Baron chose to keep his sexuality a secret from his co-workers. But what's fascinating about Baron, and I do find Baron an absolutely fascinating individual. Yes, we are very sickenly curious about Baron. While many people with a pathological need for self-destruction sometimes channel that into addiction or risky behavior, Baron channeled his need completely into sexual fetishes. It was all day.

And I get it, I'm horny too, I'm horny as a damn jackrabbit, and I'm not this horny. So him and Renee were just banging and banging and banging and banging and banging? Well, I mean, he engaged in the services of various sex workers. He would go up to three times a day.

Three times a day. That's expensive. I knew well he was the head of his fucking team. You never know who's doing what. And? Yeah, do you think he had to have one of those mouse twitchers to keep some of them know that he was at work while he was like going and getting sounded and getting his butthole destroyed? Well you would go to play out his extreme BDSM urges in which he would be whipped and his fantasies could be taken to their limits. Eventually though, the play acting wasn't enough.

His biggest fantasy, the one that came ahead of total annihilation was castration. But not the old school castration. No, not like not the balls. No, I mean, it's the full McGill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Vigietillotine was a mouth yeah and it was his hope that one day he would watch himself be castrated by another man before that man consumed him completely hmm now at first Baron tried paying sex

workers to bite off his penis once even going so far as to offer a man named Victor 10,000 marks to do so Victor Victor of course declined, so Baron turned to the internet in the hopes that he could find someone willing to go all the way. Let's say you're in that scenario, right? At this point, you're spanking this guy, what else are we doing to this guy, right? We're doing a bunch of weird shit, beating his shit out of him. No, not weird. BDSM, totally normal. Do you think you, yes, that's right. But I mean like at this point you're Victor. Yeah, you're tired

He's hot. He's hard now and tell us this bite on your penis cuz like you bite on it Yeah, no bite on it and bite it. I think you're too to do it Proposition is really important By my dick off, you know, it starts with kiss it you ever see corner look up American film corner the cop film, American blue jean? Right and then he goes like yeah, yeah, me know, I know, me know. Matrix. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Matrix. Nibble on the outside. Nibble on the outside. And so it starts with like, uh, uh, uh, uh, like this? He's like, oh yeah. A little bit more. Now, you know American, big man.

Big man, big gun, big buckle. Going over to Texas, big act. Right? He's like, bite into it now. Like a hot dog. Like a Frank Sitter. Like they do. You know what I mean?

And then the guy has to go like, what? Like, nah, nah, dude. I'll suck the hell out of this. Like, I will suck this dick. That's what I'm here for, bro. I'm here, dude. I'm here, man. I've been to the movies.

I've been to the movies. I've been to the movies. I've been to the movies. I've been to the movies. I've been to the movies. I've been to the movies. I'll suck the hell out of this. I will suck this day. That's what I'm here for. I'm here, man. I've been probably sucking. How many licks does it take to get to the center to drove a what center of a home? But yeah, it's gotta be really tough. And then cause the guy like, cause 10,000 Deutsche marks a lot. Yeah. I mean, I would imagine it was a negotiation. 2000, 4,000, 7,000, 10,000. Yeah. I probably said yes at first. And then, you know, then he realized it's not just saying it. Well, that's the thing. Is it a cop? Yeah. How fucking sick is Tommy trying to cover for that?

The guy's already got full BDSM for hours, and then he says, bite your dick off, and he's like, this is the police, I'm gonna run a suit. Jesus Christ. What investigative reporter found Victor? Well, Victor declined, so Baron turned to the internet in the hopes that he could find someone willing to go all the way This pathological need was so strong that Baron was actually the one who contacted Armin Mivis

After seeing Armin's post looking for a young well-built man who wanted to be eaten Baron replied to see if Armin was truly serious about the offer The only thing Baron fibbed about was that he told Armin He was 36 when he was actually 43 and we do have a little Snippet of their conversation. Yeah, yeah, cuz it was actually released in Harper's Where he sorts of they do a lot of play and the first two talks about because he's going as Anthrophagous and and burned is going as Kader 99 now We know that Antropagus he was talking about how he would like to... Antrophagus!

He would like to taste his own blood he would poke himself needle tasting his own blood and he said it was delicious But then it got it did get more advanced Cat 99 I Hope you won't vilt that you can really see it through without a problem. Huntrophagus! To bite into your penis will certainly not be easy, leaving flesh somewhat more resistant than fried. But one thing is certain, our dream will be fulfilled. But there's not so much in it as there is in mustard. Yeah, but the penis is principally a spongy material filled with blood.

For both our sakes, I hope that's true. Hahaha! Ohohohoho! Ohohohoho! Hit her up! And so, after he and Armin agreed that Friday, March 9th, 2001 would be the day, Bernd spent the preceding weeks wiping his hard drives of anything that might lead police or his boyfriend Rene to Armin. Because a part of their conversations were obviously Armin being like, what his real issues were, which is, I don't want to kill somebody against their will and Burns is like great love that with you, and then he's like my main issue truly is that like how do I do this without getting in Trouble I'm definitely gonna get in trouble

It's why I didn't want to do this in first place and essentially burned is like that's why we got to make it sure that There ain't nothing left of me, baby Yeah, because he wanted to go bones and all, just like the Timothy Chamolais ding-dong movie, which is actually pretty good. It was fine. I liked it. Well, Byrne then wrote a will leaving everything to René as his only clue that he was probably dead and not just missing after he left home on March 9th. Knowing full well that if all went according to plan,

if Armin were to truly wipe every vestige of Baron's physical presence off this earth Renee would never have any idea what really happened and it wasn't just like covering Armin's ass it was also a part of Baron's wishes his fantasy that he'd be completely erased from earth. Marcus how would you get rid of the bones? How would I get rid of the bones? You know what I was actually thinking about this and they he talked a little bit about like grinding the bones down and one thing That I've never figured out why no one has ever really done this, you know a Dremel. Yeah Yeah, like you get why don't you just get a Dremel and just little by little just Shave all the bones down. It is a lot of time

95 yes, absolutely. It's a lot of fucking it's a lot of noise. It's a fair amount of noise But it's not as much time as you think remember I used to work with bones all the time I used to shave them up for the patreon Not as much time as you think I would do honestly what I would do is I if I'm already cooking them I'd boil up as many bones. I could a big batches I'd boil them up into kind of honestly sort of a broth to soften them up as much as I possibly Could and then yeah I would probably break them little sections and then slowly but surely grind them up into dust and then you kind of you litter them

Out into the forest. Well, you got to be careful when you're littering it. You don't want a situation Who was the guy in Indiana again her about my sir about my sir He broke him up pretty good, but he still got God honestly He's probably best to put him out in the city then yeah, you take it to Berlin Club in Berlin those people don't know what they take. These guys fucking don't know what they're snorting. You just like it. Start selling that shit has fucking yay. Yo. And they asked me like, Oh, what kind of cocaine in this? You can be like, Oh, it's my brand new. It's called your again. You know, like it's amazing.

The vampire club in Berlin. That's huge. Go on a line river cruise and start dumping them. Now after bound and Armand met at the train station and had their immediate moment of connection kiss me, just to see each other that first time that must've been so romantic. They fell into planning how Baron's slaughter was going to go step by step, almost from the minute they got into Armin's car. But while Armin was understandably focused on getting to the cannibalism as soon as possible, Baron was more interested in the castration aspect and the following action of not only having his penis eaten, but for him to also eat his own penis.

Just like Armin needed the person he ate to consent to the act fully, Baron needed someone else to castrate and destroy him to fulfill his fantasy. He must have read the order of negotiation Yeah, doing it himself. It seemed would be no better than masturbation. It's you know, it's like hey, you can't give yourself a massage Yeah, absolutely not. It's so aggravating cuz I try and it just doesn't work No, no, and it even works less with the cut off disembodied hands of a dead woman Like it's just not the same. I flop them and I slap them.

It doesn't work. Nothing. Just put them on the ground, roll around a bunch. Nothing works. Nothing's not doing it. Well, furthermore, Baron seemed to see this entire scenario as a sort of reverse domination, which played with Armin's intense need to eat him. As we'll see, Baron was in in charge of every moment leading up to his eventual demise, even goading Armin along when Armin faltered. In fact, Armin never

wanted to participate in any sort of conscious castration or anything that felt as if he was hurting Berend unnecessarily. After all, Armin wouldn't torture a pig before slaughtering it for meat and he saw that Baron's death in practice at least Was the same thing I feel like we're like at the DNC arguing about different forms of leftism The more pure cannibal I'm a good guy This is where it gets this is why this

Case has caught so much Interest and why everybody is really like honestly there's so many people interested in this because of this very the center of their relationship is so Interesting they did sort of find the perfect quote-unquote the give and take because it really like Armand did not want to hurt him. He was really anti the idea of it's what his whole thing was before about how like I wish I could just get the meat. I just want the meat and it's hard to just get the meat. It's actually a possible. It's very, very difficult. For such a black and white meat. It's actually uh, it's impossible. It's very very difficult for such a black and white issue It's incredibly murky. Yes. This is hot. No, this story is incredibly murky like I mean it and even like it goes into issues of like consent and

like you know and like Euthanasia like who dessert like who can do that? You know, it's like it's very very very fascinating Who can do that? You know, it's very, very, very fascinating. And like how their fantasies match up, kinda, but not really. Like, cause since Baron was in charge of everything from beginning to end, he made a stipulation before they even met that none of this could happen unless Armin agreed to castrate him first before killing him. And Armin, still used to taking orders, just like from his mother, he agreed.

It also was his sexual, that was a part of the game, of the negotiation and all of the allowances are part of the game. Armin was obsessed with, remember we talked about last episode, the idea that he has, wants to be chosen. He wants to be needed. He wants someone to need and want him to do a thing for him He wants the meat to say eat me and they only do it in the Arby's commercials. It doesn't really work like that

Desperate for the thing to go eat me and the thing is going eat me but now burn saying eat me but first eat first me but now Bern's saying eat me but first eat first the dick ate a month ago you know what I mean again so he's like he has to do it he's like all right yeah because it's it's a different sort of like fetish because like Armin wants to see another man as livestock he wants to see him as a pig but also in love with him yeah wanting it he wants to want the pig has to want to die now that's not to say that Baron was a selfish lover He had fully complied with Armand's request to fast for the two days prior to their meeting because as Baron put it He wanted to be the best meal Armand ever had

Now on the way home from the train station Armand and Baron picked up painkillers and a bottle of schnapps as part of their plan. After the castration, Baron would take a cocktail of sleeping pills, cough medicine, and schnapps. Then Armin would stab Bern's throat to bleed him out. After Baron's body was drained, Armin would butcher the body in such a way where the maximum amount of barrens body could be consumed, while the inedible parts like the skin, bones and innards would be destroyed completely. You don't think you'd eat the skin? No.

Chard up, you know, I've eaten some pork skin. We've all eaten pork rinds, I mean they're fantastic. I don't think pork rinds, like that's such a, that's a very're fantastic. I don't think pork rinds like that's such a that's a very southern thing I don't think that made it over to Germany side stories lpo TLA gmail.com Do we believe that human skin is something that can cheat your own? I think so. Yeah And as we know the whole thing would be filmed on videotape from beginning and so Armin could relive the experience Whenever he wanted. Yeah, if you're feeling especially wild and wooly today, a couple of extraordinarily graphic stills that are said to be from the video can be found from a quick Google search.

Although I can neither confirm nor deny their authenticity. All I know is that I couldn't find an alternative explanation as to where these stills are from. If they're not from Armand's video, nobody's out saying like, Oh, that's from this movie or it's from like, you know, it's a rep or it's just a drawing or whatever. They look very, very real. Do we have them? Can I see them? The pictures are in the book. These are all in the book too. I was reading a book on it. So that's one. Yeah. That's more of a, that's more of a funny quarter kind of a character thing there, but the meat laying on its side there

and the dude's slit in half. Yeah. That's a, that's, that's a dude slitting. That's a dude slitting half. Oh my God. See humans are just meat. That's kind of the worst part of the story. Yeah. Cause the head is actually in the corner watching them. We'll get there. Yeah. And then what's that? And then what's that there at the bottom? Is that an arm and a chest? Yeah, that's an arm. You can see his nipple there. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, honestly, no problems with this, but you almost threw up from the Teresa video. The video is fucking disgusting. I can't believe that you were looking at an actual human. If he was eating it and throwing it up, I would have a problem with that.

To know what we're talking about, please go see the latest Marcus Mandate on the latest episode of Last Stream on the Left, which I think is now posted to our YouTube channel. Now, it seems like Baron's desires came not only from a sexual urge, but also from a deep well of self-hatred. It's as if the gov- Alright, you can take him down,red. It's as if the government Like I said his desires also came from a deep well of self-hatred as if the governor on his Freudian Death-drive had popped a gasket while also becoming fused with his sex drive.

For example, when Armin asked Baron why he wanted to do this, Baron said that it was because he hated himself, hated his sexuality, and hated his extremely high sex drive. He called himself a worthless piece of meat and bones adding that he just had it But even though his need to be consumed came from a very negative place The hours barren and Armand shared before Baron was killed sounds like the nervous beginnings of an intense Relationship that has begun online then suddenly jumps to real life It feels like an episode like you've ever seen before the 90 days, the 90 day fiance spin off? Yes. It's basically a show about online dating where like people see like, you know, they start meeting each other on the internet

and they meet for the first time. It feels a lot like that. Yeah, if you have one of those things where you're calling it, you've never met, but you're calling each other like pookie bud or doing that. You're being really, really romantic. Hello my love. Yes, my love. Yeah, that's my love. And then you meet in real life and then you got to meet like Burns fucking a co-worker That's always like a problem and you gotta meet Armand's mom because Armand's mom doesn't like you Lives in the closet. Yeah, you got too many guinea pigs in the house

Where it is because I guess also when Burns came in the room, one of the first things he did is that he took off all of his clothes and he says, "'Cause I want to twidmire your dinner." Which is, again, it's very, in a very bad way. Yeah. It's like, it's bad, but it seemed like he was having a great time. Yeah, it's romantic. Yeah.

And then he's just sitting there going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, a great time. Yeah, it's romantic. Yeah, and then he's just sitting there going Like just so excited and that's really kind of the crux of it. Yeah, is that the entire time? This into like this all happens over the course of it seems about 14 hours. This is the notebook Yeah, it really does seem like Baron the entire time is Loving he's in like, he's absolutely like, this is what he's always wanted. But on the other hand, but you also sometimes get that with people who just finally decide to commit suicide. They're going to, you know, die by suicide. Is it like the days and we, they're like, Oh, you know, he was so, you know, he seemed

to be fine. It's because he's finally made the decision. Man, just thinking about Renee, like it's already bad enough when you're significant other cheats on you. He wanted going so bad. He went and became somebody's dinner. It's worse than going like magic. If he had went straight, that'd almost be worse. Once they got back to the house, Armand gave Bernd a tour of the farmhouse and made him coffee using the fine china meant only for special occasions that had not been touched since Volltroud's death. I must tell you something, Bernd, you will find this most exciting. I haven't used these plates since my blessed mother's funeral It's only nothing is not served After coffee they retired to the bedroom where they had sex and explored each other's bodies

bedroom where they had sex and explored each other's bodies. Hey buddy, he's gotta stay awake to get his dick cut off. It's a long, honestly it was a long train trip. And they're really very distracted, so I imagine he's very tired. This of course is when Vince left 90 Day Fiancé territory and entered into something closer to a chapter from the book Apocalypse Culture. Armin began asking for reassurance again and again that Baron wanted to be eaten. You can get out of it anytime, you want to go. You can use the pot. You want it. Does it look delicious to you? Safe?

Seems oddly responsible. He is very responsible with this from beginning to end. And Bernd of course told Armand that he not only wanted to be eaten, he needed to be eaten. Look at these chicken legs! Look at these sausage arms! They then fell into a conversation not unlike two men who share an off-kilter hobby, but moaning the fact that cannibalism was illegal while discussing their favorite cannibals. Baron's favorite was Colorado's own Alfred Packer, who ate the remains of five compatriots

after getting stranded in the San Juan mountains in the winter of 1874. America boy! You see, America's still inspiring people across the world. Yeah, even old school America. Yeah. You remember Cannibal the musical? Yeah, that's that's that's Alfred Packer. Yeah, yeah. He might be my favorite. The sun is full as a baked potato.

Or it's a horse, of course, of course. Exactly what I mean. When I say it's a sp of course, of course. Exactly what I mean. When I say it's a spadoinkle day. And this is their biggest spadoinkle day. This is Bern's spadoinkle day. He's so excited about today. I'm the happy man. Let's build a snowman.

We can make him tall. We can make him not so tall. I love that fucking movie. The conversation about cannibalism turned romantic quickly. Armin remembered that he looked into Baron's eyes and said quote, I want to stab you to death, gut you, and carve you up. Then I'll eat you. And before long, From soup to poop, that's what I make you. And before long, from soup to poop, that's what I make you. How you sorted as

a man, but soon you'll be a little fart. It definitely gives new meaning to the phrase soup to nuts. Yes, it does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, before long, they decided that it was time to get down to business. Oh yeah. They made their way to the slaughter room. was time to get down to business. They made their way to the slaughter room. Oh yeah. It's time to get funky. So excited. You're incredibly excited about this. You're like, you're convinced that this is like a romantic getaway instead of like, like a man is committing suicide you're like this isn't a trip to the fucking Bahamas don't you want to eat the man I just see all of the haunted, weird dumb shit in his mom's house all singing, anthropomorphized like wigs.

Beauty and the Beast. You got a little teacup and everything. You're like, ooh, he's finally found love. The rose will be complete. But he eats every inch of him. I will not be a clock anymore. I finally go back to being a full grown pedophile man. Yeah.

I go back to what I like to do instead of being this stupid clock. Some candlelight is my buddy. The cantaloupe. He's also used to be a pedophile. Well, they made their way to the slaughter room where Armin turned on the video camera. That by the way is why we know so much about this story and what transpired between Armin and Baron. Quite a bit of their interactions that day were taped and not just the nasty parts. In the beginning,

Armin and Bernd sat in the slaughter room and looked at the shadows the lighting in the room created on the walls. And like two kids staring at clouds, they called out what animals they saw and the forms created by the meat hooks and various other accoutrements that would soon be used to butcher Bernd. Tell me, what does this remind you of Bernd? Is it the seahorse? No. Guess again.

Hookfish. Yes. You're funny. What does this look like, Bernd? Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like your face. My god.

Yeah, it is. And so, after just a few hours of getting to know you time and sporadic sexual contact, they decided that it was time to begin the event that both of them had wanted for almost their entire lives Now naturally Baron's castration fantasy had to come first So he looked Armin in the eyes and told him that he wanted to give him an appetizer for the feast ahead In other words It was finally time for Armin to bite and chew Baron's penis off his body until nothing remained Not even a stump and you know arm Armin was definitely nervous Yeah, you didn't want to fuck it up. No. Yeah. Well. He didn't want to do it. No. He had a hard time

I get it. It's hard to rip a penis off with your mouth and so Armin knelt before Barron's extraordinarily erect penis and opened his mouth while burn shouted on camera Bite into it, please just bite it But when it came time for Armand to do what Baird asked of him, he found that he didn't have the stomach for it, so to speak. You were telling me about the corn nibble before, can I start with the little nibble? He's more of a butcher. He just wants the meat. he just wants the meat. He just wants the meat. It's not like hurting someone else is not in his pathology at all.

Frustrated, Bernd continued to scream, saying, No! You have to do it! Damn it! You can't stop now! Bite it! I am biting! I am biting, Bernd! Is this our first fight? Are you yelling at me? Are you yelling at the situation? You know what they say, coppers need to not fight each other. Fight the problem.

At that point, Baron got physically aggressive, grabbing Armand's hair so he could force Armand's head back towards his penis. Now Armand was able to give him a gentle bite, but even while Baron urged him on, Armand could not bite hard enough to even draw blood. That's when Baron fell into despair and decided, this just isn't going to happen. He's like, Armand, you're too nice. You're too weak. I should have realized this earlier. This is like when you've been dating somebody for six or seven years and you think they're

like oh we're going on this big fancy vacation, he's gonna ask me to marry me. This whole time he's gonna ask me to marry me and each time he like kneels over you, oh you think that's gonna be the moment, he doesn't do it. And then you're finally in the last dinner and he brings you a little box of jewelry and you open it up and then you're finally in the last dinner and he brings you a little box of jewelry and you open It up and it's a fucking necklace That's a feeling it's just uh You're just never gonna commit

Real man. Well, I'm down. I'll just wash your knees My knees are clean Or shame and disappointment filled both of them barren weekly said he just wanted to feel his penis being mutilated That was it. Is that really too much to ask? No, it's not your partner It's like I mean what you give is what you get back and for the first time these two men found that their fantasies Were somewhat at odds and there seemed to be no way to solve it. There was their fantasies were just different I mean for a band it was all about being destroyed. He hated himself. He hated his sexuality

He wanted himself gone off the face of the earth eating was just like a part of it Yeah, that was how he could see himself being completely and utterly destroyed. But for Armin he wanted a pig Yeah, and this is me. I see burn as Willem Dafoe and Armin as Christ wanted a pig. Yeah. And this was me. He wanted me burn as William Defoe and Armin as Christoph Waltz. Yep. That's exactly it. That is exactly it. And so after Baron decided that it just wasn't going to work, he asked Armin to give him a ride to the train station so he could buy a ticket back to Berlin. Always the pleaser, Armin turned off the video recorder and drove Baron to the train station in silence. I know you were saying that you don't want to listen to anything, but would you want

to listen to the shins? It's a mood and it's the mood I'm in right now. It's the mood I'm in right now They're driving in silence and all of a sudden on the radio is No, no, no, no But just after Baron bought his ticket Armin pled his case and convinced Ben to give him another chance take me in baby Yeah saying that he could absolutely castrate him and eat his penis while he was still conscious If only he'd let him prove it! In your eyes,

In your eyes, I'm bill complete. And let him, he did. The compromise they came to was that Baron would take a ton of sleeping pills and cough syrup to make himself pass out. And while he was unconscious, Armin would be able to psych himself up so he could do what Baron asked, and that would have to be good enough for Baron. It'd probably be easier to bite off a flaccid penis than a hard one too. Well it's no longer biting, it's cutting.

Yeah, it's the compromise. But once they got back to the house at around 6pm and Baron washed down 20 sleeping pills with a bottle of cough syrup and half a bottle of schnapps all on an empty stomach. He's lucky he lived! He was still awake! Yeah! I think Baron had a bit of a substance abuse problem. Me think so as well because Bern took all of this down and still got to almost totally

enjoy getting his penis cut off. And that was not the game. So Baron ended up getting what he wanted and he was led to the slaughter room and laid down on the bed as Armin prepared for the castration. Now Armin knew that he couldn't bring himself to chew the penis off but he figured he could probably cut it off with a knife. Yeah! So after grabbing a kitchen knife and a cutting board Armin- It's good to make sure you protect the table. These are nice tables. these are all everything's antiques of Armin turned on the video camera as Baron became erect with anticipation Something about like a guy tied to a chair. He's not tied. He's just fine. Oh, she said yeah

Yeah, she's sitting there just naked in a chair And then Armand comes out with the chef's hat on and he's got the kitchen knife and just there's something about a guy like smiling and going like just sitting in a chair like like I've never done this. As soon as the camera comes on, he's ready to perform. I've never seen it. I said I'm ready to fuck. I'm ready to fuck now. But again, Armand was unable to sever it, but not for lack of trying.

Armand swung his knife down to chop off Baron's penis, but it bounced off because the knife wasn't sharp enough. The penis is so strong! And as we know, there's nothing more dangerous than a dull knife. Oh my god, once it gets in, you gotta pull it out. Yep. So after Baron screamed at him to go get a sharper knife, Armin tried again.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This time... knife, Armin tried again. This time however, Baron got exactly what he wanted. As Armin swung the knife down successfully again and again on the tough penile tissue, Baron wiggled, screamed and literally squealed like a pig. So it's hard to cut a cock off. It's not easy. No, it's tough tissue Yeah, yeah, it's a cartilage in there. Yeah. Yeah, I do honestly feel like it's a lot about well Because Lorena Bobbitt did it with scissors scissors are actually much easier to do it

They're here for. The way he was doing it, and I feel like this might not be an exaggeration, he kind of sort of did it when he covered his eyes. I went like, oh, oh, oh, and he was just kind of chopping at the dick. Which is so much worse than fucking doing it right. Well, I think you're supposed to, honestly, pull it taut, then go at it. Like you really need to pull it tight and then go at the very very base Yeah, but if you're it's really hard just pulling it out

It's not gonna be good What you're gonna have to do is you're gonna have to get like two fingers and press it down on the cutting board And then I would say a serrated knife is gonna be a lot better And just a regular kitchen knife Bread knife he prepared so much. Yep, but he didn't sharpen the knife. Like he did so much work, he put plastic down, he got the videotape like. There is like, it's called the gaps in the lead

from fantasy to reality. And this is what you're talking about is a thing that's going to come up later on, because right now, this is at the very very peak of a very esoteric idea that they thought would never happen And so yes up to this point the sexual game has really just led up to and in Armand's mind he Yes, he's been fantasizing about butchering a body But he's never really thought about the a to Z of how do I get to that point. And so now we're in it, we're in the reality of it,

and it's like kind of what Ed Kemper talked about. And Kemper said that one of the things that first changed his mind about once he first killed somebody was that he thought that killing somebody was really easy. He thought that you'd stab somebody, they'd fall over and they'd die. But humans are bags of liquid.

So you stab somebody full of a bunch of holes, it actually takes a really long time for you to die, like longer than you think. And it's more physically difficult than you think. And so that changed his mind. So now Armin's living it. And so what he gets to do from now on is tell everybody what he's learned along the way.

Yeah. Well finally, Armin managed to sever Baron's penis completely and his blood gushed from the open wound Burned look down in ecstasy having finally realized his dream after all these years So after Armin wrapped Baron's lower body in bandages They rushed downstairs together with Baron severed penis so they could engage in the second half of Baron's ultimate fantasy. And yeah, I do actually, I imagine them both like giddy little boys that are kind of like they're doing something in secret. You know, they're doing like and Baron's waddling along with his, you know, diaper or fucking bandages. Yeah, and they're just having a great time. It's like it has the same feeling as a couple of boys like at a sleepover

Yeah, I feel like mom and dad mom and dad's gone. You're about to eat too much pizza hunt and drink too much soda We used to do the pass out game. I'm sure it's similar to that Now Armand cut the penis tissue in half and did we never give any warnings about this episode or I mean they knew what was common Yeah, yeah, I mean whatever. I mean, it's it's the cannibal of rotten bird I don't know what if you didn't expect it to be fucking nasty. I don't know what you're here for I don't know. Yeah, you want to give a trigger warning. Hey, just so you know Armand cut the penis tissue in half and toss each half on its own plate and you know what I didn't realize what I didn't really think about from here.

Do you think like one guy got the shaft and the other guy got the head or do you think he? Sliced on the middle. Okay, that's what I would do. Yeah, that's what I would do too. Yeah, is he a good cook? Well, I mean he knows how to follow a recipe. Yeah, but he fucked up this dick Well, I don't think you I don't think anyone can really cook dick I actually have seen cook dick that Japanese artist that cooked his own dick Well, he did it but there was enough of that dick to serve which shows that he did it correctly and I'm pretty certain he braised it which is a lot of times that honestly they talked about this is very similar to eating tripe. It has to be

cooked in liquid and it's cooked slowly and the cartilage needs to be broken down. If you're eating dick it has to be in a ragu. Yeah. Yeah, a ragu. well Baron was so excited that he tried gobbling it up raw But both of them soon discovered the penises are not meant to be eaten at least when they're prepared in this fashion You know Armin felt vindicated. He's like See it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see it's see You keep your home with your back penis driving. Call me a pussy. Oh, tell me, bud, I'm doing wrong, I'm doing right. Alright, now you look at it. No, penises are not meant to be eaten, they're meant to be respected. Alright, so you remember that. They're meant to be sucked and fucked.

Penises are meant to be eaten, they're meant to be Supreme Court judges. Yeah, yeah, come on guys. Yeah. I got a little cavanaugh myself. And so Armin tossed it in a hot pan with some oil, garlic and pepper to make it more palatable. But that's when he found the tissue wasn't meant to be pan fried because the penis have shriveled in the frying pan and turned black. Like a shrimp. Yep. Both men tried chewing the charred remains of Baron's penis, finally gave up and threw them away. And really your training as a chef here really is coming to an end.

It really is. But you know, like, to be honest, and if I was them I wouldn't be disappointed because at least you did, you got to chew on it, you did it, and I feel like more so, like they have to understand that this really wasn't about eating the penis, this was about the night they got to spend together. Also, what what do they think was gonna happen with a penis? It's not gonna once you it's not gonna stay hard. It's exactly what I'm saying I think that there's a fantasy and now they're seeing what's really coming out of it Yeah, I think you know, well, I mean they if you look at their conversation

You know They very much knew all the ins and outs of like what penis tissue is like Yeah still kind of thought in a way that he'd go like, I mean rip it off like a dog and it would blood splurt and it would come out really hard. I know again this is difficult and that the penis would sort of stay hard. Yeah. I actually do think that the issue was that he was hard to first in the first place.

I think that if he was flaccid, they would have actually been easier for them because the sponge would have been inflated and then have all the blood drop out of it I think this I think flaccid would be harder side stories lpo to the gmail.com Think about like someone's biceps like after they work out like they're all flamed and pumped in their heart and shit It seems like so much easier to just rip off your biceps. It's not actually Okay, well, you know, we can maybe semantics But always wanted to see the bright side Armin tried cheering Baron up by saying quote Maybe we can eat your eggs for breakfast. He did actually tell them that eggs meaning

So now that the whole castration thing was said and done Barron trigger warning, Barron sort of settled into his own impending death. Armand drew him a bath in his grimy old bathtub and Barron lowered himself in quickly turning the brownish water red with the blood flowing from the gaping wound where his penis used to be. This however did not bother Bernd at all. Almost like a child he would amuse himself by fiddling with the hole to keep the fatal flow of blood coming and all the while he wanted Armand to assure him that he would eat every part of his body and whatever he didn't eat he had to promise to grind it up so no traces would be left of banned brandis. Hey almond does it look like without my dick is that my balls so sad?

Does it look like my balls are so lonely? I'm surprised you didn't go into shock or anything. Oh no buddy he wasn't shocked. He wanted this. I think it's because he wanted it. And this is a literal fantasy. He was experiencing sexual pleasure as I went through according to him, but it didn't sound like it, but it did. But he said it was. Yeah. And that's the thing too, is that it's not just Armin saying that this is what he told me. It's videotaped. Yeah. Like, oh, they brought the camera into the bathroom. No, it's just the conversations

They have videotaped everything he videotaped as much as he could Yeah, they did the butchering and then he did talk with burned and he also did like a little weird little video diary And he had journals. I wonder if he did he how was it lit? I guess we saw a picture lighting. It looked pretty good Yeah, yeah, probably on a tripod. Yes bright. Yeah, there's definitely a tripod Yeah, no, he didn't just you know, put it it on the table technically was easier to light with the VHS cameras. Mm-hmm Now after about an hour in the bath Baron passed out and Armand thought that it would finally be his turn to fulfill his fantasy But it would take a while for Baron to finally bleed out after a few hours in the bathtub

Baron to finally bleed out. After a few hours in the bathtub, Armin moved Baron to the bed in the Slaughter Room. There, Baron continued to bleed out, while Armin nervously read a Star Trek novel in another room. Do you think you'd be able to talk with him about Deep Space Nine? Are you happy that he's a Trekkie? Because anybody who reads Star Trek novelizations... Well, he's reading Star Trek novelizations. You know what? That's funny. I forget that it's like 2001. So yeah, it could be a Deep Space Nine novelization. I hear some of those are actually pretty good.

We should write him a letter. He'd probably enjoy the gift of a letter. What do you think of Picard? Dear Armin, is the Dominion War the best Star Trek storyline ever, or are you wrong? Yeah dude, we should find a last step. We star trek a fucking troll. But yeah bro, what do you think about dominion war?

Is it the best or is it the fucking best? Yeah he's like dominion war can fucking eat a dick. Yeah I know that's nice as well. Which means I love it. The founders versus the borg. Oh, fuck you. The Borg are cooler. Fuck you, Armand. I was reading this crazy version with star trekking was absolutely crazy. It's amazing. It's captain Kirk and spark. They were in showers together and all they did was like, it was so funny what they did. It was crazy. It was just like, you guys have been crazy and they started like kissing and having sex with each other. I was like, you guys have been funny. This

is the funniest shit. Holy shit. They started fucking and I was like, this is hilarious. Well, after another half hour, they're asked to go to the bathroom to urinate and no, I have no idea how that worked. But after helping fire hydrant, it's like when they kick over a fire hydrant and it just starts going everywhere. I mean, maybe he just pointed him. He probably just pointed them towards the bathtub actually. Yeah. Yeah. He was moved to the bed. So he had to help them back to the back. Like at this point, we're just conjecturing. I don't have facts here. But after helping Baron to the bathroom and back, Baron told Armin that he was sure to

pass out soon, and when he did, Armin should slash his throat and finally end his life. Armin agreed, and when Baron finally lost consciousness around 3.30am, Armin changed into the slaughter outfit he'd prepared. Wellington boots, dark blue pajamas, and his mother's bedsheet wrapped around him like an apron, which is certainly a statement, but not one that I can figure out. Yeah, it's layered. You wanted her to be there. Yeah, she'd be so proud. I knew you'd be impenetrably weird. Please supervise.

After turning the video camera on, Armand walked up to Baron and kissed him before saying a prayer. He then pulled out a seven inch knife and stabbed Baron's throat several times. It had been nine and a half hours since Baron's penis had been cut off and it had been less than a day since they'd finally met in person babies having babies That doesn't make any fucking sense at all They are two men in their 40s wise men They're older than us They're older than us. Yeah.

And they did rush in. Yes. That's what I'm saying. After finally killing another human being, Armin was filled with emotions and none of them were good. First, he was repulsed at himself. Then he despised Baron for consenting and push. Make me do this.

Yeah. Then he felt anger, furious about how much he had needed to fulfill his fantasy and at how he'd been unable to ignore it. And finally, of course, came guilt. But after all that passed, he moved on to the next emotion, horny. There we go! About fifteen minutes, and I'm back to horny. Yeah! Very good. Ah, hoo! I got out for a second there. I was worried about myself.

I thought that maybe I had lost it. I'd lost that arm and shoulder. For a second, Zen, maybe all of this had been for nothing. But Zen, I looked down and I was hard as a dick in love, like knowing. Time for daddy's dinner time. I'll just stand quick. Wait a second. Burgers and meatballs with ribs and slaps, squash and we've got all sorts of things and you've got all kinds of things.

And cakes. He's turning the homers since then. Armin was filled with satisfaction because he believed that Baron's flesh would survive inside him after he Dissimilated it just like Armin had been imagining ever since he became obsessed with the Sandy Ricks character on flipper And so when you wonder are you gonna work? Talk Armin Mivis you gotta mention flipper every single episode. If Sandy Ricks is still alive and does cons Can someone for the love of fucking Satan bring this up to him? From flipper still alive

Yeah, oh wow he's from Astoria oh my god We gotta let him fucking know the Luke helping has to know that he inspired Armin Mivus. Someone has told him, no way. I think that they have kept this from the guy that, Oh God, I was making out with flipper. But that's disgusting picture out of there. What does it's pornography talking about? That's fine. It's a boy loves a dolphin. Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. The dolphin, he doesn't know what the dolphin's thinking.

Well, you never had pets growing up. You don't know that. I had many pets. I had dogs. You had hamsters? You guys killed the hamster. Yeah, but we had a dog that lived a long time. I had plenty of pets.

You had dogs? Yeah. We had dogs. Valentine was the one I grew up with, and then we had Beauty, and then we had Raven, and Raven had, we had to give Raven back because Raven attacked the family. But then we had Beauty, and then Beauty came with us. But yeah, then we had Raven and Raven added we had to give Raven back because Raven attacked the family But then we had Beauty and then Beauty came with us But yeah, then we had birds lovebirds that my father got sexed wrong And then they instead of being a female and a male it was two males and they pecked each other to death

They literally ate each other. Yeah, that's a bad day at the pet store. They were having our time They try to make a go at it for a while, but it was hard It didn't take yeah, just show up. It's like I want to return these dead birds Well when Armin realized that he was finally going to climax with his biggest fantasy ever He looked at Bern's corpse and said quote and this is a direct quote This is on video. I bet you can't wait for me to eat you, can you? Oh, you lucky thing. You lucky, lucky man.

This is the best thing ever. It's like at least at the Aeros tour. Yeah, yeah. I mean, and actually, well, he said it in German, so it would be, Ick werde du kannst es kaum erwarten, dass ich dich esse, oder? know, it's not bad. I know I didn't get that perfect but you know so much worse in German like it feels more I feel like it more in the room when you do the German Oh do do

gluckspiel yeah do look like a good look like come on you lucky lucky man did you watch the video there is no video you get there's only the stills Do you think they erased do you think they just destroyed it? I think they probably did because they made sure I bet you made sure the archives. Yeah, it might be somewhere There has to be a copy of it probably somewhere in some archives Like I bet that we could if we went and did some form of whatever their version of a foil is in Germany We could probably I think if someone could have gotten it by now, they would have gotten it by now. Well, or it's just difficult to find because it's got, it's literally, it's literally a

snuff film. So I don't think that it's available in normal avenues. I think you'd have to go to tour. You'd have to go to the deep web to get it. Yeah. Well, those sales came from somewhere. Netflix. Boom! No!

Well, after caressing Baron's body, trying to memorize the features of what was no doubt his soulmate, Armand hung the corpse feet first in the Gein configuration to put the body in a position where it could be emptied of fluid. If you've ever seen the crime scene photos of the body of Bernice warden just like that I've seen a pig thing you see same as an animal getting look up Bernice warden real quick It's literally halal style Butchering so what he did is he hangs it up to you trying to yes look first So the blood can come out into a bucket

Yeah And then he made a cut in the neck from ear to ear so it could all drain out into buckets upon buckets of blood. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. She was hung up like that. Yeah, it's not good. That makes sense.

If you go down a little bit, that's it. Oh, that one? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The same way. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Is this photo available to him? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. He read all, he was completely obsessed with your crime and he's on the internet. So it was utterly, there was definitely available. When they say like the gene configuration, I think that was I'm not a hundred percent sure but I think that was like kind of a Term and the cannibal like it was that kind of like well if you're gonna if you're gonna kill someone you're gonna use the gene configuration. Oh, yeah, I thought that was something you made

Do that they also we found out what dulcet girls means. I completely forgot that it's when you take a woman and you spit roast her, you stick a, you put her on a rotisserie. It's normally artistic representations of this. Normally, huh? Normally, yeah. And then you put the spit through her vagina,

out of her mouth, and she's supposed to like it. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's right. Amber was obsessed with it for a bit, right? Yeah. Go figure. supposed to like it yeah oh yeah that's right Amber was obsessed with it for a bit right yeah go figure once the body stopped bleeding Armand sliced at the neck muscle and ligament then twisted the head off where the spinal cord met the skull deciding that Barron would want to quote join in on the fun Armand placed Barron's head on the butcher table, getting very comfortable with the macabre nature of his task, very quickly.

After skinning the corpse, shivering in pleasure as the tissue made a pronounced ripping noise when it was pulled off, Bernd finished his joke from earlier in the kitchen. After tearing Bernd's scrotum away, he addressed Bernd's head and said, quote, I bet you're sorry you won't be able to join me eating these for breakfast. Aren't you, Bernd? Funny guy. Yeah, you know, sometimes they don't always, you know, it's like when I write a joke before the show and then I try to do it during the show and it falls flat. Yeah.

Again. Again, I bet it hurts that you can't eat breakfast with me anymore. Again, it's just the German makes it so much worse. It really does. I mean, I know I'm getting all the intonations wrong, you know, but is it I get it? No, it works. Such a strict language. It is. Strict people. Not these guys. Fly from your grave. language it is strict people well next Armin tied off the anus with twine to prevent everyone knows we just came back from a break and it's still Lucy it's still it's just empty yeah Yeah. No. To prevent it from contaminating the rest of the body. Then let out sighs of pleasure as he began

removing burns innards. Can I ask how would you tie an anus with twine? Basically you cut it and then would you do it the very end? Did you cut the beefy cut the butt meat off and you tied it? You cut the tube out and then you pull it up and you tie it off Yes, you like a water balloon. Yeah, exactly Separate it from the end because the sphincter is what connects it to the end of the skin So you pull out the two you cut her a hole around it and you pull it out and you tie it off and then you Cut the whole thing in half. Yeah, cuz remember, you know that when you eat something from your mouth to your butthole is one continuous tube Yeah, that's why you can eat a marble and shit it out Something from your mouth to your butthole is one continuous tube

But just as Armin was really getting into it He heard something click behind him the video recorder had run out of tape So right in the middle of butchering a human being Armin had to stop Change and get showered before driving into Rottenberg to buy another. Dude, can you- how many of us who've worked at various, like I worked at Eckerd's, I've worked at other things, like when you work at a retail store or a late-night gas station or a pharmacy, you've met five of these guys a day. Like these guys are- it is wild to me to think that he's just cuz then he's Covered in sweat

You want to give one dollar to save children with hair lips? Boy named goose definitely a good advertisement for digital So after buying the tape and returning home It was finally time to butcher the meat after removing the arms from the shoulder blade He chopped the hands off and broke apart the, which seems to be the step shown in the supposed stills that leaked. But after chopping off the feet, Armin cut the meat from the torso, pelvis and legs into fillets, steaks, bacon and a big rump roast. It wasn't that big. Big enough.

I mean, could you eat the entire thing in one sitting? I'm just saying. I saw that meat, dude. I saw that cattle. It ain't got that badonkadonk. You wouldn't think I would have one, but I got one Oh, we talked about this yes, but I saw the other man's butt you saw his butt. Yeah, it's not that big How did you see his butt? It's in all the fucking horrible pictures of his dismembered body. You only see it from the front Hmm. Yeah

Different you know when it's all when it's just on a plate. Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm sorry, guys. You probably had a fine ass. Just take this all back. I'm sorry. I should not be. I'm sorry. But after every bit of edible flesh was removed, all while Armin literally salivated over every cut, he broke his final promise to Bernd. Instead of disintegrating every inedible bit of Ber body Armand dug a hole in his garden and buried burns skin bones and inedible

innards the head would eventually be buried as well but for the time being it was kept in the freezer he was chilling out that's funny but Henry Toon's duck. Come on. But he, because it takes an extreme heat to burn bones. I think that's what it was. I don't think he did it to hurt burned. I think that he just was very, very difficult for him to do and he realized he had to bury them. Now after the burial, Armin returned to the slaughter room to cut the hunks of human flesh into reasonable portions. Then he wrapped each piece in butcher paper and neatly labeled them rump, steak, bacon

or filet. But besides just the sheer joy of achieving his lifelong fantasy, Armand said that he was also excited that he'd be saving big on his grocery bill. He can afford not to do it. Because the only thing he'd have to buy for a long time, vegetables and pasta. That's it. Now, while Armin waited a couple of days for the meat to cure properly before he cooked his first human steak, because he had researched the best way to do this, he fantasized about the meals he would make with Barron's flesh, hamburgers, ribs, meatballs, stir fry,

really anything you could do with pork. There's a lot of stuff he can do. Yeah, yeah, Orman. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff, okay? He also experimented with the pieces that didn't really have an animal counterpart, like the hands and feet. Oh yeah, they do, chicken feet.

The hog foot. Yeah, but chicken's way different. Way different. The hog knuckle. The hog knuckle's a little bit different. You don't eat hog knuckle like that. You don't fucking cook it up. You're being deliberately obtuse. I don't think so.

I'm just helping. I think a human foot is way different than a fucking pig hoof. Or a chicken foot, you fucking idiot. The chicken foot. People eat chicken foot. No, I mean, like you have to look up recipes. Because like you could look up like a monkey meat recipe Did look see how you could cook a hand? Oh, yeah

I bet but also did you see that guy that lost his foot? There was a guy that ate the meat off of his foot and stripped the meat from between the whatever that not the tendrils Sure, he's called what are the things in between? 2012 It was pre-cancel culture 2012 But the human foot is unique in the animal kingdom the nearest thing strangely enough is the elephant whose bone structure Closely resembles that of a human but you wouldn't throw human foot into like a side table like you did with an elephant No, you couldn't do that. You could turn into a paperweight cute I

Would imagine getting it and putting it in the slow cooker would be the best way to go Yeah, I think all human meat would bet be best brace. It's gonna be a lot of bones though There's so many bones in the foot. They made broth out of it Yeah, but you know we bony fish we fish with full of bones and I would have like goat kind of maybe yeah like go I actually thought of it more like a frog's leg. Oh Yeah I'm hungry I actually thought of it more like a frog's leg. Oh Yeah But when it came to meet Armin made the closest comparison he could he thought it'd be kind of like curing a parma ham

Yeah, so Armin tried drying a hand and foot in the oven But when they shriveled he ground them into flour like an actual ogre. Yeah. And they ogre's house. And you can do that. You can grind human bones to make your bread. Yeah. Yeah.

There was a famine in the 1500s in which people did that. It's not good. Yeah. No, it's not good for you, but you can do it. Wow. That's so impressive. Humans are amazing. The other foot, he boiled whole, then plated it with ketchup and herbs placing the presentation

The guy's a fucking weirdo he wants the blood. Yeah, he wants it to look like blood. He's a fucking he's again Yeah, weird. Well, he's not you he's not doing it to eat it. He's placing the presentation, you know He's a he put it in front of a pot of boiling water because he wanted to make it look like steam was rising from the foot. This is an artistic effort. He had no desire to eat the foot, but just being able to play with fresh human remains was pleasure enough. I lost all respect for him. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I honestly do feel like now we're just playing with your food. Well, I mean, he's doing what he can until the meat's cured. Yeah, he's jerking off a lot Yeah, let beer that'd be fucking good. Yes. Well to the point of pleasure Armin masturbated endlessly That's about the slaughter room experience watching the tape over and over again while he did

So all of this was while he was masturbating. You can pretty much assume that It's his own supply. Yeah, but after two days passed Armand decided that Baron was finally ready to eat Now Armand obsessed over the details of how his first meal of human flesh would go after setting the table with candles Avaz of flowers and his mother's fine china Armand briefly considered playing music But decided against it because he wanted to focus completely on the meal Using a recipe he found on one of his cannibal sites, Armand seared the human steak to medium rare, then plated it with porcini mushrooms, brussel sprouts,

and he called it princess potatoes. Oh, okay. I don't know what that is. They're tiny little fingerlings, probably. They're probably very McCall-German way of saying vingerling potatoes. Those are my favorite potatoes They're incredible. Yeah, I love them. I love them. Yeah, well the pairing wine was a South African Merlot

I always had red wine. He loves it. Yeah, he was a vampire Yeah, and just before Armand dug in he said a prayer. Thank you for the very so sweet Thank you for the food we eat. Thank you for the birds that sing. Thank you God for everything. Amen. So do you think he believed in God? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Only God would have provided this bountiful meal for him. This is the world. Thank you for the food. Thank you for the food. Thank you for the birds. They sing. Thank you God for everything. Amen. And as expected, Armen found the steak to be absolutely delicious

He said that as expected it tasted like pork, but he was surprised that it tasted somehow in his words stronger Yeah, he said harsher mm-hmm, but Armin was not having this meal alone for company He brought Baron's head out of the freezer, and he talked to it as he ate his meal I'm gonna say for our audience he was still alone. That's actually like more alone than being by yourself. Actually it really is. And when he was finished, Armand decided that nothing had ever been so delicious. And of course the more he ate, the more sexual satisfaction he gained. By the time he was done with the meal, he was panting with sexual tension on the verge of orgasm just from the act of eating. But after the first meal was said and done,

Armin said he felt powerful as if he'd absorbed all of Berndt's skills, attributes, and character. It's just how he had imagined it being. He felt stronger and more intelligent. He was the recipient of a true religious experience. He felt stronger and more intelligent. He was the recipient of a true religious experience. But from what his neighbor said, Armin remained the same weird lonely dork he'd always been throughout the 10 months he ate Ben's flesh. But think about it, on his inside,

he really is walking around like he is Super Sam. Like there's energy flowing out of him and everywhere he goes. That's where there's a little bit of, is the brain reacting to human meat in a way that we're not really supposed to eat it because A lot of guys talk about euphoria that they experience when they eat human meat But also kind of sounds like they're on drugs and a lot of times it leads to other massive issues in your body We're not supposed to eat it. It's bad for us. You're not supposed to eat dolphin meat either No, but the key is which is honestly

He's extremely lucky and the fact that if you are gonna eat human meat it must be cooked well done Like you cannot eat raw or medium rare But yes He is very lucky because you can get a thing called kuru or any one of the other type of prion diseases Which leaves you it takes about a decade to kill you and it leaves you completely immobile covering your own shit Laughing yourself into maniacal. So basically you it's rabies plus locked in syndrome. Okay. It's not good. What's the pork one trickles and those, uh, trick a gnosis. But that was, I believe that that was a play by big chicken. No, big chicken came for pork. No big chicken.

Big chicken came for pork. Pork is not as bad for you as we think it is because big chicken set Up a bunch of shit because they wanted to sink pork because chicken wanted to be the number one white meat and then I'm not your doctor White meat pork is red meat I'm saying that all came from chicken industry all of this comes from beef and chicken lying on pork All right. All right. Pogalock. Armin used Ben's meat in every meal, eating strips of bacon with his eggs in the morning,

steaks and roasts at night, and worst of all, meatballs at work for lunch. That's the worst. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to, if someone had to smell it. Yeah. Someone had to smell it. Yeah. Someone had to smell it.

He sat right next to another guy that fucking serviced ATMs. And then what is he fucking hard as the dickens eating burned meatballs while he's in the fucking lunch room while everybody's just sitting around him and he's just going. I would imagine after a while it just became normal. A secret smile. Like a secret smile. Yeah. What was his job again? IT. Yeah. Well, smile like a secret smile. Yeah

Yeah, well he was a computer technician he serviced ATM Oh, yeah, so he was probably next to a guy who was also eating human meatballs and yeah, I'm setting the other guy He's just got done killing his daughter And he'd all that he also knew a lot about computers actually there was a listen another listener who wrote in that said that Armand Mavis like his but like his one of his relatives knew Armin Mivis Like he was the guy in Rottenberg like if your computer broke you call up Armin and Armin will come over to your house He'll stay for way longer than you want him to it will be clicking through and be meandering on yeah

He'll just sit and you know until you kind of go like well I guess that I'm gonna let you I guess I'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna let you go. But now this so this is let me let you go. Let me let you go is the is literally the nicest way to say get the fuck out of my house. I'm gonna let you go now. That's a very Texas thing. Yeah. I'm gonna let you go.

I'm gonna let you go but this is now really where it turns exactly what we were saying that now the Fantasy has been completely realized and he's been eating it to the point truly what you're saying It got boring not boring, but run of the mill his life But he also like his fantasy was fulfilled and he kind of just this all went away in his own mind Oh burn just disappeared, but now we're gonna see that that now Reality is going to come fiercely rushing into Armand's life. Okay. Well, not for another year and a half, but it didn't mean to the idea of like, of it's going to this is the beginning of what's going to

happen. How long was he? Did he eat burnt for 10 months? Okay. Now, but while Byrne Brandis, the meal was making Armand the happiest boy in Rottenberg, Bernd Brandis the man had been missed right away. See Bernd hadn't told his boyfriend Rene about any sort of trip out of town, business or otherwise, anything that might explain his sudden disappearance on Friday, March 9th, 2001. Finally Rene called the police on Monday, who were, as usual, not concerned about a missing gay man.

Rene spent the next few days calling the cops, but was consistently told that they were sure Bern would be home soon. Hitting a dead end with the police, Rene called a Berlin newspaper, who recognized there might be something to Bern's disappearance, especially after Rene found the will. That's when he knew something's weird here. I don't know what this is, but something's fucking weird. Soon after a photo was run in Die Berliner Zeitung, I think it's the Berliner Times, a missing person's report was finally filed. Meanwhile, Armin was starting to slip when it came to keeping his mouth shut.

He's proud! While everyone else still saw him as the same old boring weirdo, he nevertheless developed a strange kind of confidence that almost got him in trouble. This is a common theme among cannibals. So the reason why, because like you know, every video I was watching, it's the final taboo according to every British thing. It's the final taboo! The final taboo!

Yeah, and so it's like this idea of on one hand you have a secret chain, but a lot of cannibals, it's different, is that they truly have a sense of superiority. As that in some ways, Armin believes that his born pathology meant that he was always a step outside of humanity and evolved. Like he kind of viewed himself as, I just understand a pleasure that no one else can understand, very Cenobite-like. Sure.

Yes, and that he walks around with this confidence, like with like, you know, a pep in his step, like he just slept with Pete Davidson. But it's like, it's not really, but then we find out, no, it's actually gross. One night while he was out drinking with an old school friend Armand said that he was looking for a man who was quote right before the slaughter

Understandably confused and shaken by the statement the friend called Armand the next day and asked what he meant by the whole man right for the slaughter thing Armand of course You crazy I say anything at night. I like saying crazy shit, man. And of course he told him, forget I said anything. I meant big kids on a man. Now after five months, Armin had gone through two thirds of what he'd butchered off Baron's body. So he was anxious to make sure he got another man lined up so he wouldn't have to go a day without a meal featuring human flesh. I'm like that with weed. I don't like to run out. I get real mad when I run out. I don't want to run out. I just want to make sure I have it even if I'm not smoking. I want

to make sure it's there. Yeah. I'm like that with nicotine patches and gum. Yeah. So he returned to the cannibal chat rooms to search for a new candidate posting ads very similar to what had caught Bernd. This time however he narrowed the age bracket by five years no longer up to 30 it's now 25 because I think he was a little miffed that Bernd had fudged his age. One of those ads read quote, well he also one thing he said is that he does believe the meat was worse because he was older than thing he said is that he does believe the meat was worse because he was older than he thought he was.

So he does want him, he wants him tight. So here's the ad. Slaughter boy salt, are you between 18 and 25 years old, healthy and this enormous build? Do you want to end your life, but do you want something decent to come out of you? Then come to me. I will slaughter you and worship your body in delicious schnitzel and steaks. Those interested should apply with details of age, height and weight, ideally with a photo. Frankie, Sir Master Butcher.

Der Metzgermeister. Meister. Nice. Now Armin did get a couple of responses, But none were willing to agree to a meeting deciding that a bigger net catches more fish Armin again raised the age ceiling to 30. It's hard to be single. Yeah too much to live for at a young age Yeah, this brought responses from multiple men who came very close to being Armin's next meal plan and they definitely Would have been killed if Armin was a more aggressively violent person. He was waiting for another Bernd. He was waiting for somebody else who was just as aggressive about it as...

because it really was a... We were not blaming him, but there was a 50-50 edge here. Well, it wasn't even aggressive. It was more... they had to submit. He created... and that dude created urgency. He was like, I want it and I want it now. And Armin wanted to feel that pressure because that was giving him sexual drive And also he probably figured they were everywhere since first time out was burnt. Yeah, you got one

Well actually before that he had met a couple of guys in hotel rooms Serious guys aren't serious. Yeah. Well the first guy after burns his name was Stefan. Mm-hmm. Stefan Stefan Yeah, he came to the farmhouse where Armin stripped him naked Strapped him to the slaughter bench and marked his skin with lines to signify different cuts like ham and fillet Look, it was a fucking looney tune short. And again, it's all fun and games until the saws come out Yeah, yeah, yeah this sounds like a kind of fun Yeah, and then but then it finally dawned on Stefan that Armin was for real. Oh shit. Yeah Yeah, he immediately

became Steven Urkel. He went back. He begged to be set free and Armin did so. And after they shared a frozen pizza, Stefan went home and never talked to Armin again. I like it's crunchy. Now do you think that like, how do you go on with your life? How does Stefan like literally like go back to work next day and be like, what'd you do last night Stefan? He's just been like, you know, we played a little game of fake operation and like what do you do? How do you just you just say like, you know what Friday was nuts What do you do later on you testified his trial? Yeah, it's a secret until that do later on. You testified as trial. Yeah. It's a secret until then the next guy to come out was also a bust. Although this one was more interested in the BDSM side of things. Okay. Armin locked him in the wooden cage. He'd built in the slaughter room to make him

a veal and toss the guy scraps of meat all while the captive man again squealed like a pig. He fed him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I gotta call my wife. I'm tired. I gotta... I'm finished! Oh yes, I'm finished! Hey, you know what? Actually, I could get out of here. The next two who visited the house were rejected by Armin because one was too fat, which... Fuck you! Whatever, dude.

Well, that's part of the fantasy of a lean cut of meat. I know, but hey, bro. Fucking guess what happens when you throw out whatever bait you got. You get whatever fish gets in the boat Wish you could have this fucking brisket He said the other one was too stupid and that spoiled yeah Well, he you know he loved the idea that he's absorbing something positive from the other person He's absorbing their attributes, and I think he truly believed that if he ate a stupid person he would himself become stupid I Actually have a weird theory about

Cannibalism that I do think that there is something to the concept of DNA memory And that there is something to the concept of there is something that can get passed if you do eat human meat Because Armand Mavis did say that his burnt was much better in English than him and he's saying that am I English improved? I massive amount after I ate him You know what I did notice that his first posting in his second posting I got better English is in so much better in the second one The first one's like broken and like you barely understand what he's trying to say No, he worked it out. Yeah, he's learning you're eating people. You can't be this choosy. Yeah

No, I actually think it's the opposite if you're not gonna get caught you gotta be choosy Yeah, I mean you got it's that's the thing is that if you're gonna do this, it's gotta be worth it Yet another guy was rejected because he wanted Armin to incinerate his genitals with a flamethrower And while I don't know this for sure another guy was rejected because he wanted Armin to incinerate his genitals with a flamethrower. And while I don't know this for sure, I think it's probable that Armin didn't want to get in the whole rigamarole of another guy who had a castration fantasy. It reminds me of my ex. But also I honestly think it was about the flamethrower.

That's really intense for Armin. The barn's very flammable. The one who came the closest to going through with the slaughter was a guy named Dirk who took the fantasy all the way to being strapped to the slaughter table with the knives out. But at the last second, Dirk backed out. And since Armin needed the person to want to be killed, he let Dirk go. Do you think that makes him like his dick go down?

Do you think that they're in this? When the guy starts reading? Of course it does. Do you think that he just then doesn't come, like they won't just jerk each other off or suck each other off? I think, no, they have frozen pizza and they go home. Wow. It's the same reason you like having sex

with a woman who enjoys it. Yeah, I do. Yes. Yes. Meanwhile, Armin had been bragging on his cannibal forums, again using the name of Frankie, writing that he'd actually eaten a person. And this, I'd imagine Armin figured he was safe, because his confessions were mixed in

with so much obvious fantasy. And really, if not for one person, Armin would have been safe. As I said, it took 10 months for Armin to make his way through 44 pounds of meat, human meat. And no one- That's it, huh? Yeah, 44 pounds, that's what you get.

Well, that's what he got, and that's what he got through. How much did he weigh before he killed him? I don't know, but he seemed to be about my size. I think he was about 160 if I remember correctly Okay. Yeah, and no one even came close to connecting Armin to Baron's disappearance It wouldn't be until December of 2002 more than a year and a half after Baron's death that Depolizai would come knocking on Armand's door. Not even a mention in a 9-Eleven by these guys. Not even a fucking mention.

Didn't knock his boner down a second. He's eating human meat on 9-Eleven. He's sitting watching 9-Eleven eating burned and just going like, God damn, we might get into a little bit of a ruckus with that. Nice, God damn, Saddam Hussein. Interesting. The police had been led to Arman through a curious university student who came along one of Frankie's posts and emailed Anthrophages at hotmail.com. The student, however, was soon met with extremely elaborate descriptions of cannibalism that

seemed realistic enough where the student deleted his account out of fear. With these emails in his possession the student informed the federal criminal police of HESA and quite suddenly the cannibal forums had an uptick in new users that were all of course undercover cops. This is the only time I feel bad for police when they have to do shit like this when they're just like, yeah, eat me daddy. Yep, yep, I'm here, I'm here freshly. I'm here freshly shark turkey. I'm ready to be stuffed filled with, stuffed filled with spices and I'm ready to be consumed. I feel like you would have been such a good cop.

Oh, I would have been great for this. Being like, then we'll get the gravy. And then, oh, big pie on me. Don't you want it? Aren't you ready for it? Just so, oh yeah, I'd be a slut for this. Well, many cops answered Armin's ad. They're going at him from all angles. Oh yeah, now he's just been like, okay, now you guys are just lying.

And it took them two months to identify Frankie the cannibal as Armin Mivis the computer guy. After identifying Armin police arrived at his farmhouse in Wustefeld to ask him a few questions and search the house. Armin of course cracked after just 20 minutes. 20 minutes. When the police straight up asked Armin if he'd ever eaten human flesh Armin said and this is true. I may have following Armand's confession. I may have, I may have, and that's when you beat of the following Armand's confession, police searched the disgusting farmhouse and discovered the remaining packages of burns meat in a false bottom in Armand's freezer.

And how they knew it was different was that according to the police there was like one of them was a lady police officer and she was like I am a housewife and I know what meat is and this is not normal meat. Yeah. They did not however find the videotape of Bernd's slaughter and butchery. Now incredibly the police did not arrest Armand on the spot. Instead, they took his 16 computers, 200 hard drives, and 300 videotapes. All just chock full to the brim with pornography and torture and just like gore. Just the worst shit. They had to see what they could see they had to watch all of it. Oh, yeah Yeah, and they also took the frozen meat Armand meanwhile was left alone to panic after a while

He called his half-brother Ingebert just to talk it through But it was his sister-in-law Ingebert's wife who answered the phone since Ingebert wasn't home Armand decided that the first person he was gonna to confess to was this poor woman he barely knew. Honestly, that does make sense. Okay, listen, the cops are here, they took all my human meat. I know we barely know each other. I know the only Matt Vons, it's a wedding. Who is this? I haven't updated my contacts.

Now first, this woman figured that Armmin had been caught with child pornography Definitely! First of all, let me guess, child porn? As soon as he calls Are the cops going to call your hard drives? Tell me more But when she asked him straight up, did they catch you looking at child pornography? He instead said, oh no, I killed someone That's a release I'd much rather you be a murderer.

And then he hung up the phone. As long as it's not a child murderer. Yeah, sure. There you go. I still, again, is that weird? I'd rather you kill them than eat them and fuck them. That's real fucked up. Yeah.

Yeah, well, I guess I don't have a preference. I'm going to go ahead and say I don't have to choose. I think that's right. I just do. Well, realizing that he now immediately needed legal representation, Armin drove into Rotenberg and found the lawyer who'd formally represented him in his DWI cases. It was different. It did a whole different procedure. But the thing is, dude wasn't even a criminal. He was a divorce lawyer. I mean,

I feel like if there's a divorce lawyer that's going to handle you being like, I just feel like that's who I would go. So this guy did not take it well when Armin told him that he'd killed and eaten someone. God damn it. Armin, I just, you know, I, you know, I can't get involved in something like this. Once the lawyer recovered from the shock of the confession, he told Armin to turn himself in because everyone here, everyone's way out of their depth. Yeah, yeah, I can't understand. I'm an expert level case. And Armin agreed. After showing up to the police station, Armin gave a full statement admitting to killing and eating a person named Byrne Brandis and news of his unnatural acts soon spread throughout

Rottenberg and eventually the entire world. This was a worldwide case. Everyone knew about Armin Mimus. Now Armin's trial began about a year after he confessed. And as in all German trials involving a death, this is interesting. Their justice system is very different Yeah, a panel made up of three judges and two civilians Oh, we decide Armand's fate, you know, we how we you know, we just got jury system for basically everything Yeah, yeah jury your peers Germany different crimes different panel. Could it be like two guys could it be like Carrot top and like that somebody is it just random?

I imagine it could be. I mean I didn't really look into it. We don't get to get lost in these weeds. We don't know how this works. Armand's defense of course was that he was enacting a kind of euthanasia. Killing on demand for a person who desperately wanted to die. Basically it was the Kevorkian argument. Except that while Kevorkian was all about dying with dignity, Brandis was explicitly asking to die without dignity.

What if I want this bad way to go? What if I want everyone to frown when they hear my name? What if dignity went out the window? That's where I am. That's where I lie. I wonder how many people Kevorkian ate. Armin had been studying the law in jail and found that his earlier assumption that cannibalism was illegal. He found that was wrong.

There was no law specifically against cannibalism in Germany. And Armin spoke about this subject for hours in open court. In fact, Armin spoke more than his lawyer. It's almost like it's what he's always wanted. Yes. As far as witnesses went, Armin's failed second attempts at cannibalism testified about their near misses with Armin, and Armin's half-brother, Ingbert, also testified. His other half-brother, Vulfgang, he'd since become a priest, so he didn't want anything

to do with this. Listen, I'm already in three other trials. I am full. They call me Wolfgang suck. But besides Armand's own admission, there was of course the videotape of the Slaughter and Butchery, which had to be viewed by the jury panel as well as two attorneys, a few expert witnesses, and the poor court reporter who had to both watch and type out all of the conversations between Armin and Ben.

So this is where in last podcast in Left History, we see that the juries experienced two extremes in this life. One is the incredible day on one extreme when a group of people all got to go look for work at Jodie Arias's butthole Naked body and that must have been awesome for them. That's a great day to be a juror Yeah This is the exact opposite of the spectrum because you have a bunch of people that obviously have never seen somebody be murdered Openly on film before but never mind the fact, you're watching murder and that's bad enough, that's bad. But then you have the guy who's getting murdered screaming,

I wish I could feel it. I wish I could, and he's going, yes, yeah. And he's like, you're watching the guy, unbe able to bite the dick off of a hard dick off a man. It's a long day. Yeah. And it's two videotapes. Yeah, it's a long day. Remember he had to go to the store and buy a second one Yeah, that thing where everybody's coming out like, you know with a handkerchief Fast-forwarding minutes like a track Yeah, cuz it's hard that was like they talk about the Traumatizing they watched a guy begged to be murdered and it's extremely confusing and never be the same Yeah, and then not only watched him get murdered, but then watched the guy, the other guy...

Butcher him like he's a fucking lamb that you got at the store. Yes. But after watching the tape and interviewing Armin, the expert witnesses came away with pretty much the same opinion. They were all, you know, psychiatrists. One determined that Armin was mentally well and stable, but he needed therapy. You know, yeah, he could use a place to talk. Yeah, he could do a little adjustment. A sexologist named Klaus Beier, who had a degree in sexual medicine, he agreed.

Is that cum? That's cum. That's cum. I know, I know. That's cum. Sexual medicine, yeah. It's cum. Yeah, it's cum.

Cum. Sexual medicine. Yeah He said that Armin was not technically mentally ill and so Armin was pronounced fully sane by the jurist panel Now by the time the second week of the trial was wrapping up Armin thought that things were going Extremely well for him. I am crushing Cannibal trial goes, it's definitely going better than Dahmer's trial. Armin loved being the center of attention and he was the face of cannibalism. And he believed that he'd made his case that he was innocent because band had wanted to die. And really, I wonder if it would have made any difference if Bernd had been the one to

take the action that ended his own life, and was videotaped doing so. I agree. But in the end, all that mattered was that Armand was the one who'd stuck the knife in Bernd's throat, and he was convicted of manslaughter on January 30th, 2004. One of the judges declared that legally this was manslaughter and not murder because quote the famous lust for murder, the Lustmord, was not a part of Armand's motivation. And he would have killed all the other people too. Yeah, of course.

Well that was the big argument. He's like, look, I didn't kill all these guys. It's fine. In other words, this judge essentially agreed that Armand's cannibalistic desires were an inescapable trait of his personality. But he did not kill anyone against their will in order to feed those desires. It's not illegal to be me. Legalize Armand!

As such, Armand was sentenced to 8 years 6 months, but with good behavior, he could have expected to return to his farmhouse in less than five This however was not a satisfying conclusion for the German people Now Germany does have a double jeopardy law in place in which a person cannot be tried for the same crime twice But unlike the double jeopardy law in America, which I found out is like the most I guess strict in the entire world or double jeopardy double jeopardy Nobody does double don't like with us. It's like you if you are fucking convicted. You cannot be tried for the same crime twice Yeah, you have the fucking murder weapon shows up the day after the trial shows that you did it There's nothing they can do yeah can't do anything

but in Germany both the defense and The prosecution can appeal against the judgment if they disagree with it There's nothing they can do. Yeah can't do anything but in Germany both the defense and the prosecution Can appeal against the judgment if they disagree with it And so after Armand sentence was deemed too lenient and a retrial was had in 2006 He got life in prison. It's probably best. Yeah, cuz he was just gonna cook and eat more people I don't think he would have buddy. I think I Don't think he would I don't think he would have found another guy I think that yeah, I actually think that the boost of the trial would have brought the guys to him Bring him all this milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. Yeah, or you just move He could move. Why yeah, he's got a beautiful house. Yeah, no, he doesn't it's disgusting

He could move. Why yeah, he's got a beautiful house. No he doesn't. It's disgusting. Now, while this seems a little unfair by American standards, bear in mind that Armand is perfectly happy in prison. Yes. He enjoys the structure, he enjoys the fame, and he likes that other inmates call him the Carnibala.

Yeah, this is my boyfriend Salt Lick. Ah! Fellow inmates find Armin intelligent and even admirable because he regularly takes the time to help inmates with legal matters or in writing letters when they need help. He's like the Bernie Madoff of cannibals. He's a nice guy.

As Armin put it, he feels the best and most stable he's ever felt in his life in prison. I'm here, I'm in my lane, moisturized, living life. It's like it provided him with the family he'd always yearned for. In other words, Armin finally got the hug. In prison. Interesting. And he doesn't have to fix ATMs anymore.

But not without a sense of humor, Armin once requested for Christmas an 8 inch Bockwurst banger and garlic and white vine, prepared with one of the recipes he'd used to braise burnt brandises flesh. Also not without humor, and this is very funny, you know, the German prison officials did give him the sausage, but did not prepare it in the way Armin requested. It's very funny, you know. You get it a little bit, but not all the way that you're like, you're funny. You're a funny guy.

Today, Armand says he regrets killing and eating Ben Brandis and even wanted to write a biography trying to deter anyone else from doing what he did. Jerk off. That's fucking, he's full of fucking shit. He was going to make it wonderful. Yeah. He was just going to jerk off while writing the fucking book I think that he is a full-on predator. By his estimation though, there are about 800 cannibals in Germany, which seems high. Not for Germany Armin however did not say whether those are active cannibals are merely people with intense Cannibalistic fetishes just like him who are all waiting for someone to say yes.

You know what they say. There's a lid for every pot. I'm in love with the world and in love with a girl. Oh yeah. I'm in love forever and I can say yes. What is that song? Say yes. Oh yes.

Well what a wonderful story. I have loved every fucking second of this. Thank you Marcus. Good work Eddie. Good work Rob. Sorry for making you look at a bunch of horrible shit. Thank you Rob. Thank you to our research team, Joel and Shaw, who also had to read a bunch of horrible shit. They did great. But welcome. Thank you guys. Next week, beginning of big series, can't wait. Huge four part series. It's a history series this it's one of the I

Can't fucking wait for this as I've been waiting so long to do this story and man like this story It is so much more than you think it is. Yes. I love this story I am kind of bowled over about how big this story is. Yeah, it's great So I can't wait to come back with that story next week Don't forget to go to with that story next week. Don't forget to go to our patreon, patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. You can go and watch all of the video episodes. Follow us at LP on the left at tick tock on Instagram. Be sure to check us out at twitch.tv slash LPN TV for all the streams we do. And you

can also check out our YouTube channel for all the streams we do. And you can also check out our YouTube channel for all the streams where they're posted after the fact. And come see us on tour, go to last podcast on left.com to see all the shows. We're coming to Washington DC in July. July 13th. Can't wait. Warner Theater, come on with it you fuckers.

Yeah, gonna be coming to New York City and we're gonna be doing a show here in LA, but we're also gonna be going to London and Reykjavik in October. And of course we have our big Australian tour coming up here in just a couple of months in August. Can't wait to see it. Yeah. And then hopefully we get to meet some willing people ready to be eaten so we can try that.

Quite possibly. Australia, I bet there's a couple. Oh, I really want to. I think it'd be nice to at least meet some and then we could just all hang up actually when we ate raw kangaroo the last time we were in Uh, it kind of remind like I remember thinking like this might be what it's like to eat human flesh because it was fucking Disgusting was it ground up? No, it was just like lays It kind of was like served like sashimi. Yeah, that's not the way to do it. I do it like tartar. It was seared Yeah, it was seared and then cold

Yeah, we're us. Yes, good. Someone actually where do we get good kangaroo email a side stories lpotl a gmail.com? Yeah, name one of the cities that we're gonna be in you won't I'm sure Adelaide I was about to say Adelaide's gonna be the town probably yeah kangaroo. No, no, I'm not getting fucking kangaroo from Adelaide I'm not getting fucking kangaroo from Adelaide after watching you do the Snow Town shit. What the fuck's wrong with you? They got a bunch of extra meat going around there. Not anymore. I'm just saying, that's the place. Alright, bye everybody, house heighten!

Hanging. I got no one to... Come on, man. Julia Child! Yeah! Julia Child. Hail Julia Child. Oh, I'm gonna kill the lobsters!

Oh, no! I'm going to kill them upstairs!