Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 588: Horrors of SeaWorld Part I - The Perfect Killer
Episode Date: September 6, 2024The boys are back in town! This week we're back to our regularly scheduled programming as we embark upon bloody waters for a two-part "true-crime" voyage unlike any other - led by Captain Ed Larson...... It's time to discuss the death of Daniel Dukes, the origin story of Tilikum The Killer Whale, and the dark history of SeaWorld. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes and get exclusive access to bonus content.
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There's no place to escape to.
This is the last time.
On the left.
That's when the cannibalism started.
What was that noise?
What's that noise?
Am I... am I... am I about to be...
Am I gonna be murdered?
I think I'm about to be murdered by
Two big fat idiots
Welcome to the last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen fun noises with the boys
We're finally here we're finally here. We're finally here. We're finally here We're people said that we might get to this point, but we didn't choose this Marcus. We did not choose this at all
My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zabrowski every day and
We're here today
We're gonna be doing something different with today's episode. We never never done this before. We've never done this before.
I ain't done lots of shit.
Yeah, you can't read, you can't have sex.
It's summertime. Summer time is the time when you try new things.
When you try on some new hats.
So this is our Brat Girl summer.
I'd say this is more of our experimentation summer.
Oh, so it's the one where Katy Perry kissed the girl that first time?
I'd say this is more the summer where you do too much cocaine and then you really think about your life choices afterwards.
Oh, yeah, sure. Okay.
Gets real hot, gets real sweaty.
Speaking of hot and sweaty, I'm wearing a sweater.
Yeah, that was a mistake.
And Larsen is gonna be
leading this episode and the next episode. He's gonna be leading us on the horrors of Sea World
My god, man, please take us in. Yes. I'm in the passenger seat this time. It is nice
Yeah, you see now you feel like me. Yeah. Yeah, I did a little bit of research on this
This is a topic that was it when you went to a pool and ate a bunch of fish
Topic that was it when you went to a pool and ate a bunch of fish
I'm permission. I mean, I mean even though I
Even I may not be the driver. I think I'm still somewhat of a co-ceo here And I say Eddie you get to be anything you want to be oh, thank you
And that's the problem with our old generation
What's led to this sort of doesn't matter failing up?
Any you chose this topic we decided that we wanted you to try to teach us something. Yeah about something that
Concerned you I mean, I'm always I'm a big fan of animals. I love my animals if you if you watch the the hamdates
Oh, yeah, I love my animals when they're a quarter pound. I love them when they're even better if they're half a pound
And I just think animal attacks we can talk about ghosts
aliens serial killers we do talk about that yes, but to me
The scariest thing in the world is being ripped apart by animals
Story about the woman who got ripped apart by the pack of Great Danes recently. I did see that yeah, yeah, that's crazy
Yeah, it's absolutely insane that that can happen.
Did they end up finding the pack?
I think they shot a bunch of them.
I'm not quite certain.
You ever hear the one about the infant girl torn apart by the squirrels?
That's honestly worse than Great Danes.
Honestly, it's just what happens.
That's why you never load a child's diaper with a bunch of hazelnuts.
And there's been plenty of babies eating to death by rats.
Oh, lord knows.
Bit by bit by bit.
There was a whole, like, plague.
And the dingo ate my baby thing was also real.
Very real.
We learned that in Australia.
Very real.
Yeah, Australia.
Lots of deadly animals, you know.
You got to take the reins, Eddie.
All right.
Growing up in Florida, I loved going to places like Sea World, Busch Gardens, and Miami Seaquarium.
It was the only place you could get a bath.
I'm like, Seaquarium sounds like an STD.
It's now shut down because it was horrible.
There were places that you could witness the impossible.
You could see a 25-foot, 12,000-pound whale perform
a water ballet with a human being.
The old, good old days.
Yeah, man, it was a circus underwater,
on steroids, and best of all,
at the end of the show, you were as wet as the performers.
You said the good old days.
I'm gonna go ahead now and tell you, it's still happening.
Oh, whoa, wow, we can still see them, yay!
Yes, yeah.
We can still see them. There's how many SeaWorlds now for there are four technically now there used to be five
But they shut the one in Ohio down a while ago. Yeah, why cuz it's nowhere near the fucking ocean
The one at San Antonio is doing just fine. Oh, yeah, the one in San Antonio that use I remember going to SeaWorld San Antonio. You went?
No one wanted to go to SeaWorld San Antonio.
Why would you?
Like that was always like, that was always an option on vacations for everyone in Texas.
And everyone was like, no, why would I go there?
I can get, Six Flags over Texas is so much closer and there's Wet n Wild right across
the highway.
And those fucking dolphins shouldn't be in the middle of San Antonio.
No.
Now, George Malay, one of the four men
who started SeaWorld back in 1964
with Milton Shedd, Ken Norris, and David DeMott,
George Malay also started Wet n Wild, so there you go.
Wow.
See, I don't like being wet, though.
I know you don't.
I don't like being wet.
You're gonna hate this whole episode.
I don't like sitting in my wet. You're some kind of cat, why don't you like being wet though. I know you don't. I don't like being wet. You're gonna hate this whole episode. I don't like sitting in my wet.
You some kind of cat?
Why don't you like being wet?
I don't like water parks.
I don't like being wet all day.
You don't like log foams either, do you?
I don't.
I don't want my bottom wet,
unless it's because I've met Paul Newman.
Here's a little log foam tip for you.
When it's going down, lift your butt up just as it hits the water.
That way when the water comes into the log, you're not going to get it up your ass.
But when you sit back down, aren't you just sitting back down and wet?
No, you're sitting back down in the seat and the wet's on the bottom.
The thing is that you've let the wet touch the seat and now the wet is on the seat.
You're going to get kind of wet, but you're not going to get a puddle in your butt is
what I'm saying.
You've got to take this from me. Anyway, George Malay open Sea World with good intentions
I'm sure at first they wanted to build an underwater restaurant
Yeah, and then it was the concept of an underwater zoo that got him real excited
Oh, yeah, when they started this venture in San Diego with a couple of dolphins and sea lions
I'm sure they had no idea how successful and deadly it would become
Did they pull those dolphins and the sea lions from the groundlings?
I think they're a UCB
They definitely don't get a meal. Yeah
They get to go like to advance sea lion class and advanced advanced sea lion class and sometimes the trainers have sex with the students
But it was a success and in 1989 George Malay and the boys sold
SeaWorld to the Anheuser-Busch corporation Yeah beer did it!
It would be so much cooler if they filled all the fucking pools with beer
Just fucking whales hiccuping and shit
Yeah that'd be fun as hell man
Yeah
They so and they purchased SeaWorld
And later Anheuser-Busch sold it to the Blackstone group
Those fuckers in 2009 for two point seven billion dollars
The Blackstone group yeah, yeah, they sound like they're gonna be kid that they sound like they sell whale meat
They own a little bit of everything no Marcus
They're the only the world's largest alternative asset member with more than one trillion dollars underneath them
It's no way they got anything nefarious going on
Their address is right here in town in Santa Monica
The Blackstone renamed the corporation to see real parks and entertainment and in 2013
They sold 37% of the initial public offering
So we know there are a lot of people making a lot of money off of these parks today. Okay, of course
Yeah, I just still besides the two of you and have you ever been to SeaWorld Henry a million years ago in Florida
I've never known anyone besides the two of you have ever actually been to a SeaWorld
I don't know what that I don't know what a SeaWorld is. Oh, I mean I think bark aquarium
Yeah, but how is it are there rides now? Now there are. Yes, there used to not be.
So in 2013, that documentary Blackfish came out after Don Branchow was killed in Shamu
Stadium in 2010.
Now the movie was huge.
It won an Oscar.
Oh, I remember.
It decimated SeaWorld.
Yeah.
So they added rides after the movie came out to get people to come back to the park.
Okay. Yeah.
And Don was killed by the massive
and known aggressive orca, Tilikum,
who was captured in the wild off of the coast of Iceland
as a pup in 1983 and ended up being the largest orca
in captivity until his death in 2017.
Now in true last podcast in the left fashion, was Tilikum molested?
I want to know what have made Tilikum so aggressive.
What really led to...
Was it a head injury? Was it a loss of status?
Do you... I really hate to tell you this,
but in fact, it was all of those things.
Wow!
See, this is honestly... I'm going, this is a, we're here.
The serial killer soup is like trans species, man.
That's incredible.
Can you imagine getting killed in Shamu Stadium by getting killed by Shamu is like the same
if you wrestled in Chris Benoit Arena.
Now, I was going to save this fact to the part of this where I tell you a bunch of killer
whale facts, but a male killer whale can have an eight-foot penis.
Hey, but I mean, that means he gets to molest more by the yard than a lot of guys.
Like how you call Tilikum known aggressive orca.
It's like known sexual predator
Tilikum had previously killed two other people before the gruesome death of Don Brandt show
If he was known to have killed humans before why was he performing with people for stadiums full of spectators? I don't know. Why was R Kelly allowed to go into any single bathroom unaccompanied?
phenomenal question full of spectators. I don't know, why was R. Kelly allowed to go into any single bathroom unaccompanied? Phenomenal question. As of the time of this recording...
Pee-pee was his main weapon.
We came for the raps,
but then everybody else were forced to experience the pee-pee.
And the hotel lobby, of course.
As of the time of this recording,
four people have been killed by orcas in captivity,
Tilikum claiming three of those deaths no shit. Yes. Yeah, and there are no
Reported human fatalities by the fins of orcas in the wild
Yeah, like they are normally like now we're seeing an uptick in orcas attacking boats. Yes, but they were mostly we're saying apparently
That's the that's a larrikin
It's a fad. Yeah, they're calling it a fad
They good I did not know that we talked a little bit this on side stories about how whales literally have fads
They act in like weird kind of like patterns. Yeah, like the ones where all the whales had the fishes on their heads
Yeah, they have different languages for different regions whales are incredible. They are
Unbelievable very highly intelligent,
emotional animals.
And they'll kill again.
Today, we're going to look at killer whales in the theme
park industry, particularly SeaWorld,
and why there are still killer whale shows to this day.
Our main source materials today are the book
Death at SeaWorld by David Kirby and the film Blackfish,
directed by Gabriella Cal Perthwaite.
Oh wow, that is a difficult name.
Yes.
This is an extremely difficult name.
Now, it's, you know, people are always saying,
why fish true crime now?
And it's always been this way.
Man, I remember I was so excited when it came out.
I went and saw Blackfish in the theater
and it was a fairly fun experience.
But it shouldn't have been.
What do you mean?
Because it was so sad.
Yes, but what happened was it was it was very
It was it was very serendipitous. I was caught was in New York City. I got on the train
I went and met our buddy Trey Galleon at the Sunshine Theatre, but while I was on the train
Just like one of those out of nowhere massive rainstorms came
Yeah
And completely fucking destroyed me and I got out and I had to get from the Lancy and Essex all the way to the Sunshine Theater.
That's a long walk.
It was a long walk and I was soaked to the bone and I showed up soaked to the bone.
I was like, one for Blackfish, please.
It was like you just came from zero.
I was like, I'm a big fat wet animal and I want to see a movie about another big fat
wet animal.
This just happened to me.
I just survived.
I literally was like, you know how some people go to see Batman dressed as Batman?
I dressed as one of Shamu's victims.
I also thought it'd be hilarious if you were hidden the exit and with a bucket of water
and then whenever he splashed in the movie you just went and got in the front row.
That's that new 40X. And then whenever he like splashed in the movie
Yeah, like Herschel Gordon Lewis used to do with the tingler
Yeah, they'd have little bit they did what they'd used to do is they put these little buzzers and seats and during certain scenes It would tingling your balls. It'll ping your balls. Yeah
Now Henry you can back me up on this. Even before the movie Blackfish came
out or the death of Don Branchow, one of my YouTube holes that I would go down to late
at night were SeaWorld accidents.
Oh yeah, no, we spent hours, years at your house at night, stones out of our minds, watching
animals kill other animals, watching animals kill humans, watching
this stuff because there's something fun about watching animals do it.
Yes.
You know, like animals attacking each other.
Like, you know, when I watch animal shows with Natalie, Natalie always roots for the
innocent like creature running from the predator.
But I'm like, the predator's got to eat, right?
He's got to eat.
That's the whole thing.
No, no. And we're talking about in the wild here. I'm talking about like dog fights or anything
Like in the like watching cruel not cool
No, no, we're not watching dog fights no, it's more like I like watching you know
Fight a rhino fight a bunch of tigers. Yeah,. Yeah nature nature nature nature nature, but also sea world accidents
Yeah, you know there's just something comical about it to me
I mean, what do they think was gonna happen you put a
12,000 pounds super dolphin in a tiny tank with humans and make them do tricks for food chaos is sure to happen it is
Hmm. There's something about a total unstoppable force of
nature that has always intrigued me. Tsunami footage also something I can get
lost watching. Because tsunami footage is so fascinating because it's so slow yet
so destructive. Yeah. No, I like tornado footage myself when the tornado starts
coming towards it when people realize the tornado is coming towards them and
they start running that's what I love seeing it's very exciting because
I've experienced it and it's terrifying I
Can only imagine tornadoes like the one thing I haven't been through yet. No one day. I'll show you
Come with me so the sea world videos, you know, we're fairly innocent or so
I thought occasionally a trainer would get whipped in the air the wrong way or Shamu would eat a pelican and you'd watch the trainers flip out
and try to get the show back on track all while the lamest whitest fake African
inspired music played. Imagine if Paul Simon has testicles removed and had to
record the rhythm of the Saints in Orlando with the creative notes coming from Sea World execs
You know the music they play to be a fish
To be a fish fish like life
My fish like friends
No, Paul Simon honestly still was already fake African. Yes. No, no, but you know, it was fine
so Paul Simon honestly still was already fake African. Yes. No, no, but you know, he was fine So what?
You know what I found out to us reading the thing about the orcas
Purposely fishing for birds. Yes, so they would go and they would spit out
Fish I showed this on the hand. Yes, and then they come and they eat the birds
But that's also showing that they are in Circumstances where they're extremely bored. Yeah, and they're fucking highly intelligent
Yes, they hunt in the wild like no other animal does their brains will get to it are fucking 12 pounds
Hmm, which is one of the big pound-for-pound dolphins have the biggest brains in the world
That's why we can make such excellent candles
the biggest brains in the world. And that's why we can make such excellent candles out of them.
Um, so, the videos were always hilarious,
especially because we knew that Telecom
had previously killed a man.
Not the first one in Sealand in the Pacific.
That one wasn't a popular story here in America.
That happened in Vancouver.
I'm talking about the death of Daniel Dukes,
a 27-year-old scruffy-looking fella
who on the night of July 6, 1999,
thought it would be a good idea to jump in Tillicum's tank
and play with the majestic creature.
You and me Tillicum are having a night on the goddamn town.
Hope you like champagne!
Yeah, no, he definitely had white man dreads.
Oh, yeah, buddy!
I named each one after my favorite speaker during the Civil Rights Movement. Yeah, no, he definitely had white man dreads. Oh, yeah, buddy.
I named each one after my favorite speaker
during the civil rights movement.
It was all over the news.
Do you guys remember it?
Oh, yeah, of course.
No one felt bad for the guy.
No.
In fact, he was ridiculed
for his ridiculous act.
It was on, like, you know,
all the late-night shows,
like, were making fun of him.
Yeah, man, the killer whale
didn't stalk him outside of his apartment
and then hide in the closet and then wait for him to go to sleep and surprise attack him. He had to go to the whale.
Yeah. Yeah. SeaWorld even referred to him as a vagrant who climbed into the tank and drowned. You know what? I identify as a vagrant and I take that offensively. The truth is when he was found by the staff in the morning, his body was mutilated and
draped over the back of Tilikum.
Oh, he's draped over the back.
So was he doing the thing?
Because I've seen the videos.
He was wearing him like a hat.
Yeah.
Well, I've seen the videos of Killer Whale's like popping seals up into the air.
Yes.
Was he popping them into the air and he just fell?
He had been playing with him for hours. Wow. air. Yes, was he popping him into the air? He was fell. He had been playing with him for hours
SeaWorld claims they had no security tape footage that night. We don't know what happened
Yeah, so no one knows exactly
What went down that night?
So why would they lie about not having the security footage?
Like is it just because it was way more grisly
than they wanted to tell?
SeaWorld seems to me like they enjoy a good cover-up.
Oh, I do understand, because I think that they were to show
a picture of a killer whale covered in blood
with blood in the water and a big, like, mutilated corpse.
It might hurt ticket sales. Possibly an arm or a leg that had got accident.
But not for us. We drove for two hours to see Snowtown. I think I would do the same
thing. I feel like if they want the true crime audience, throw some blood in there. Like
do it, fake it for us.
And if you're watching this on our Patreon, video on Patreon, you can see in the background
the corrosive chemical sign. I bought that from an old man in Snowtown who had no sense of irony
Absolutely, none guy paid eight Australian dollar reduce for it man. I spent ten on a fucking license plate
So stupid you just always I always I always jump the gun on these buying
That's when you open your TGI Saturdays. You can put it on the wall.
But to assume that SeaWorld didn't have a security camera on a $10 million animal in
a much more expensive facility is very hard to believe.
They absolutely had cameras on and they saw exactly what it was.
They just did not want to bum people
I'm sure they immediately deleted it. Yes, Daniel Dukes was by no means a normal American. He wasn't a race. He wasn't
Connected to David Dukes was no no, but he was from South Carolina. So maybe
No, it's Dukes with an s. Mm-hmm. I almost wrote David every single time in this group
Talk about someone I was was ripped apart by a killer whale. Not relate, couldn't be related to David Duke, but he could be related to Daisy Dukes.
Cute.
Daniel lived a free-wheeling lifestyle.
He loved music and animals.
He better.
And seemed to not be fond of responsibility.
Yeah, I don't think so.
Yeah, I don't think anybody climbed into a killer well tank,
as necessarily, like, you know, always suddenly up and up.
He backpacked all around America
and eventually landed in Florida, as lots of individuals do.
And when you say backpack, you think I carried my things in a backpack?
No, friend. I hid inside of a backpack.
And someone put me in the
back of a bus and drove me around and that shit was hell awesome. I was a textbook.
Florida seems to be the end of the road for a lot of people.
Oh, it's great. It's a haven for condoms.
It's where you go to be forgotten.
Yeah.
Yeah. He had a couple of small brushes with the law, some petty theft and marijuana convictions.
Uh, he lived with the Hare Krishna community
for a little while. It didn't work out.
He was like, I'm out. Peace.
I am sick of the quiet singing.
Yeah, and so he left South Florida
and started to go north,
and a couple days before his death,
he actually spent a couple days in jail
in an Indian River County jail
for stealing a Three Musketeers bar for breakfast. Oh, why?
Oh, that shouldn't be a crime.
And then on July 4th and 5th, he was spotted inside the park by staff.
They noticed him because he, you know, he had dreadlocks and he was also hitting on
a lot of the ladies.
Hi, hi whale!
Hi Mr. Shamu!
You know I come hi whale! Hi Mr. Shamu!
Can I come inside there?
Hi!
Hey lady, you look like a whale I can ride.
You offer discounts for vagrants?
Yeah!
I ain't got no home!
I believe the way they put it in the book
seemed similar to that.
I gotta tell you lady lady most girls love this
You know before I start second of all is to those others provide milk or is it the back others?
Can I squeeze your butt just a little bit oh the but is back others
on his back hunters. Yes.
I'm just curious as all hell.
Curious as a little cat.
So...
Scribby, scribby, scribby, scrib.
When he wasn't hitting on chicks, he watched the Shamu show repeatedly, and security noticed
him but didn't pay much mind.
Hey, excuse me, Shamu.
How'd you book this gig?
Because I got a feeling.
You paying for them fish?
Wait a second.
You get free fish and all you gotta do is slap around inside a water... Cuz I got a feeling you pay for them fish
And so on July 5th when the park closed Daniel hid close to the Shamu Stadium And when the coast was clear he hopped out of the gate to G pool
Disrobed down to his underwear boxer shorts, I believe and he went towards the tank and on this particular night
Tilikum was the resident in that pool. Yeah, man. I could see him putting a shower cap on
It's getting all we're getting that big brush
We all bathe in the night real deep
Can't wait to struggle with you Shamu, it's gonna put on a show. It's what some 2020
Yeah, that's my favorite
You guys get cable in this water
Who are you making fun of this man or talking it's character just this idea of just Lynn like
Man that killer whale is gonna love me
That killer whale is gonna love me. Yeah!
I mean, it's a ridiculous thing.
He's gonna love me.
It's like every drug dealer I've ever had being like, can't wait to talk about FIFA
with you, friend.
Because we all know when someone jumps into the enclosure in a zoo, it doesn't end well.
No.
I don't know.
At that point, I would say, unless you're a child who fell in, you deserve everything
that's coming to you.
No one's rooting for you.
No.
Imagine if you jumped into the jail cell with Karl Pan's Ram and said, I dare you to kill
me.
It's the same thing.
Actually, I think there was a woman, I was half heard this on the news this moment, there
was a woman who like jumped into a tiger enclosure, like yesterday, I think.
Oh, really?
That happens more than you think.
Yeah.
Oh yeah. Remember when someone did it at the Bronx Zoo
and they took its foot?
They took the woman's foot?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow, might've been a dude, I can't remember.
Regardless, 7.05, July 6th, the next morning,
a worker arrived to a ghastly site.
At first, he didn't realize what he actually saw.
He thought there was a large white toy on Tilikum's back.
But upon further inspection, it was not a toy.
It was the nude, lifeless body of Daniel Dukes.
Staff was notified and Tilikum allowed himself
to be wrangled into another area.
I didn't do shit.
I didn't do shit.
Allegedly, I was in the tank.
I blacked out.
Yeah, there was a rage, of course.
He'd entered into my section, and for a while we were hanging out.
Yeah, it did seem to be consensual, but next thing you know, he started choking me during
intercourse, so I blacked out.
When they fished out Dukes, he had multiple bite marks, was extremely bruised, and had
drag marks all along his body.
His boxer shorts were found at the bottom of the pool,
and Tilikum gingerly had removed his left nut,
and they found it at the bottom of the pool.
So he gnawed off his ball?
He opened his scrotum.
They're like doctors with scalpels, these things.
He opened his scrotum, removed a single testicle,
spit it out.
What if it turns out it had cancer in it?
Wouldn't that be amazing?
That's a test they should have run!
Oh, my God, it turns out that it was going to kill him anyway.
He's trying to save his life! This is a doctor, not a whale.
Well they found the nut at the bottom of the pool. Oh well. So among... The old Hitler special.
Among Duke's possessions were a cigarette stuffed with weed. Are these
possessions or are these leavings? Some beads, two dollars in in cash and no admission ticket was found
Wow, I climbed the fence see world to this day calls him a trespasser and a vagrant and they're trying to save face
Of course, I mean I would say he is a trespasser. He is a vagrant. Yeah
Bowing him. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They're saying they're not they're not and with him. He did technically arrive
But where's the video when he dressed up as a penguin? It's because they don't want I do see maybe he want a bet
Yeah, and they were like, you know what go in the tank. He showed up
We don't know we don't see that we never seen the video never know
Well, he was so high when he arrived we assumed he was special needs
So we decided his make-a-wish could be, let's give him a ride in the tank!
Yep, and it all went horribly wrong.
Sure, he wasn't invited in the tank,
but one would think it wouldn't be so easy
for him to sneak in and jump in the tank.
How was there no security around the largest animal
and the largest attraction at SeaWorld Orlando?
I think only because only a moron
would climb into the aquarium
with a thing called a killer whale.
Yeah.
Like, it's like, that's the only thing,
is that it's because it's, but-
7-Elevens have security guards.
Oh, I agree.
Yeah, but no one's gonna shoplift a killer whale.
You think so?
Hey, man, I saw a fucking Ace Ventura!
That was a dolphin.
Yes.
Critics claim that he was led to believe that the whales were not dangerous by the messaging
the SeaWorld puts out over, around their whales.
One claiming that they turned telecom into Mickey Mouse.
Well, that's, yeah, that's if you also apply see worlds advertising to dabs
Like you know that like I could see why you think that it's you're watching it over and over again
And if you're some sort of drug addled I'm not gonna say I'm just gonna say
man with no
Necessarily goal no man with not an identifiable goal.
Right, not a vagrant.
And he's here watching the show again and again and again.
And they're probably, at some point, truly-
Probably just like losing his mind.
Oh yeah, she's been like, whoa, this is fucking,
I'm here, dude.
Like a week ago he was a Hare Krishna.
Two days ago he was in jail for stealing candy.
So I think that he, literally He was in jail for stealing candy. So I think that he literally
arrested for stealing candy
That's even stranger in and of itself. Yeah, you know like that you got caught
But so he's there probably watching trainers react to this animal not really understanding
like most people do like people come to stand-up shows and think you just
Necessarily make it up as you go like people do something at words
Like he's probably looking these trainers being like I can totally do that birds love me. Yeah
So also check out this quote from Ken Balcom and orca activists said this about telecom in
Interview that week you pull them out of their element and you've already got a potential delinquent
that week. You pull them out of their element and you've already got a potential delinquent. You put them in a captive situation where they're locked in a small space with limited
context. Basically, you're building a cycle.
I'm sure that's exactly how the Orca activists talk.
Yeah, basically, I'll tell you what. If it wasn't for how small our vaginas are
More whales would do more to us if they could but they don't like the split noise
And that turned on by it well SeaWorld rebuked the claims suggesting that the death was
Hypothermia and drowning absolutely not How did they explain the testicle?
Hey man, your balls sometimes...
I wish they could escape me.
Yeah, they said that Tilikum was not responsible, but the coroner's report did not list hypothermia
as a cause of death, and Tilikum attacked Dukes while he was still alive.
Yeah.
Dukes attacked Tilikum!
Dukes was hugging Tilikum. That Yeah, that's an attack to a wail
Almost every part of Duke's body had been beaten up
Also his blood work came back clear of all drugs including marijuana. Thank God. I ate that apple cider vinegar before
But I do want to tell the story too, because I did research the concept. You remember the brothers that went after the Siberian tiger?
Oh, the Christmas at the San Francisco Zoo.
Yes, this was on Christmas Day.
This was at the San Francisco Zoo, and these two brothers, Kublier and Amritpal Dhaliwal,
arrived hammered high, throwing nachos and screaming at a tiger.
I believe a can as well.
Oh yes and then the tiger jumped far too short for regulation fence because they measured
it wrong.
It was supposed to be 20 feet tall, 16 feet tall by regulations.
It turned out to only be 12 feet tall.
That tiger also sat there for fucking years.
While it was being held so shit and the tiger finally said fuck this shit and killed one
of the brothers
He was also Catholic
Tiger was Catholic and then it killed one of the people and attacked the other two in front of Confession Santa
And concession say that they had to shoot the poor tiger which is made me feel bad for the tiger
He just got pushed to its limit. Of course, and it was the cops came and shot him. Well what happened yesterday it was a woman
in New Jersey at the Kohanzik Zoo. Never been. Yeah it's in Bridgerton. Oh Bridgerton. Yeah. My
favorite place to get drunk and punch myself in the face. She climbed over a wooden fence and tried
to touch a tiger. She was almost bit but then she skittered away and now police are looking for that's one fat lazy tech
Actually, I'm looking at a picture the tiger right now it is very fat
Man there is one tiger at the
Cincinnati Zoo that I go and I look at it and I don't know
It's definitely got some it's mental problems. Yeah
So but before we go any further into the abuse of telecom leading to him killing two other humans
We have to talk about orcas in general
Don't worry. This isn't gonna turn into too much of a science project, but I figure we got to talk about some of this.
This is his version of wagon manifest.
Yeah.
Now this is very like bathroom book facts about orcas.
But I love this.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So killer whales are not whales.
Propaganda!
They are a type of dolphin called Orcanus orca, or orca for short.
Oh, didn't they're orc?
I didn't know they dolphin.
Yeah, I didn't know they dolphins either.
Yeah, yeah, they're dolphins.
Yeah, they're not whales.
Oh, wow.
But some people call them whales still.
I don't know.
Very confusing.
I just feel like are they a hybrid like my RAV4?
Like a whalefin.
Hmm.
Whalefin.
Hmm. They have another thing called false killer whales. Have you seen these guys?
No, oh my god. They look like Shamu fucked a xenomorph. They're terrifying
Where are they from? They're um, I don't know. I don't know exactly where they're from
But they have them at sea at some of the sea roll parks as well
It's all looks like oh looks like it's been outfitted by like the guys that have Punisher symbols on their cars. Yeah
Yeah, you know they're cool. They're Matt. Yeah. Yeah, they look like dodge challenger. Whoa
So cool, that's so tubular. I want to drive to see fast the Furious movies
Well, my ex-wife is yelling me on speakerphone. Yeah, but they're also a dolphin
Why does it look so much greasier than a regular dolphin or a whale? I know it looks crazy, right?
Yes, I love I love a false killer whale.
All right, so out of anything talked about on this show before, they are the perfect
killers.
Yeah.
All right?
Males in the wild live from 30 to 60 years and can get up to 32 feet long and weigh up
to 13,000 pounds.
Females can live from 50 to 90 years in the wild and can get up to 22 feet long and up to 11,000 pounds
That's roughly 40 times the size of a human T's. All right. There's two types of orcas
transient and resident one can vote and one can't
Actually, yes
Transient orcas are just as they sound they have no particular home and in the wild can swim up to a hundred miles a day
so they
Choose this life. It seems like it and resident orcas live in one place
Oh, so they like, you know, you'll see the same pod off of in the Puget Sound and it's just random
It's a yeah. Is it a type of whale?
Entirely different.
They are different types of the same whale.
Interesting.
Now, resident orcas, pretty much their diet consists mostly of fish and kelp, whereas
transient orcas are known to eat other sea mammals such as seals, other dolphins, and
sometimes even smaller whales.
Canibals? Yes. Well, no, other whales. Oh, oh like baby like smaller whales
Transient ones have to fight harder in this life
Yeah, the resident ones they kind of like take they got their own like you need to require probably a steady food supply
Nug yes, no, they're all sorts of shit
No
But the resident whales will kick the shit out of a transient whale if they show up in its neighborhood because they're looking to fuck
Yes, the transient whale shows up. It's looking to fuck right and you're like no, that's my resident ass whale wife
Yes, you can't come in here fuck my wife, buddy
Just cuz you're in from out of town, right? They're usually in pods
But also there was lone male transient orcas as well. That is like their version of serial killers.
Yeah, I've seen those transient orcas that pop the seal up
into the air 20 feet and then just do it over and over again
until the seal's dead.
It's incredible.
I just see him walking around with like the Jeffrey Dahmer
glasses on.
Here's another fun one.
Killer whales have no sense of smell.
Yeah, they have great eyesight, but that
doesn't help when hunting at night or in murky waters.
They survive and thrive on echolocation.
They release a series of clicks and noises
and listen for the echo.
So that's when they are going like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Eye messages. Yeah, and they use this to not run into rocks boats, etc
Also to locate prey and other orcas in this manner
Which also kind of speaks to the fact that they might know the difference between various
Preys and boats like obviously they they're playing because now what we're seeing with the orcas doing this weird behavior
Attacking the boats like they know their boat. Oh, yeah, they know their boats
They also like they can tell if it's a salmon or a trout by the echo relocation
We can I buy the market price?
So it is like and also they could tell the dimensions of the air in the bladder of another mammal now that is just so
That you could also tell what kind of animal it is. I imagine a mention that's like yeah
That's like their seat if it's a golf in or a seal or whatever
They also can echo locate near and distant targets simultaneously which scientists don't really understand
I remember from echo the video game. Yes. Yeah echo the dolphin. Yeah, I've never learned how to play that game
I just I just swum around and swum around in the first level for a while and then truly all I ever did with it
Yeah, it was otherwise not a very interesting game. It was a renter. Yes. Yes
I remember well know echo was the one that they it came with the system. Yeah, it was either that Sonic or Green Dog
Yeah, and I already had Sonic and Green Dog was stupid. I love Green Dog. I hated Green Dog
Really Sonic Green Dog was the surfer with the big nose
You'll recognize them when you see them I love Green Dog. I hated Green Dog. Really? Sonic. Green Dog? He was the surfer with the big nose.
You'll recognize him when you see him.
Anyway, echolocation does not work through kelp.
Salmon, therefore, hide in the kelp.
Orcas over dolphins have figured this out and just tear up kelp whenever they see it,
hoping that fish are hanging out in there.
Green Dog the beach surfer, dude.
Yeah, dude, that brings you all the way back. I've never I I a total garbage. It's incredible
I've never heard of this game in my entire life. Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm Sonic 1. Yeah, it's totally it totally sucks
Yeah, please continue
Orcas never fully sleep
Because they can't breathe underwater so sleep is the cousin of death
For orcas, it definitely is.
Yes.
They remain partially conscious so they don't drown.
One half of their brain sleeps at a time and only for a handful of minutes at a time.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
That's crazy, man.
Orcas in the wild will babysit younger orcas in their pod when it's needed.
You're just saying that this, because orcas, they do, they got like fairly layered intelligence. They're geniuses. this cuz orcas they do they got like fairly layered
Intelligence they're geniuses but for orcas
They I don't know man
Do you see one learn how to play the flute and put together an ex fantastic new instrumental album out of nowhere had fingers
Man, they definitely sing songs
I think about it a lot of like how like whales and dolphins like
They have they probably have an inner life in an entire society
We don't understand many things that we don't understand don't know about they just swim around and have fun all the time
Well dolphins well some of its quite harrowing Marcus. Yeah, I know some of it
And what you said about fun and games. I don't think it's all I don't think Little Mermaid was a documentary
I don't think go down there playing jazz and and playing instruments on it and wondering if they're gonna get fucked and they don't
They're not all made out of fucking great. They don't have great bodies
No, I don't think it is like that I think it's hard to be a dolphin and I think
Honestly, a lot of them should just get into coding
So yeah get that side hustle. That's what dolphins need. You need a side hustle. Yeah
Really make their life miserable. Only fence
need a side hustle. Really make their life miserable.
Only fence.
I'm angry at myself.
I'm angry at myself.
HenryTunes.com
One of their favorite meals,
great white shark liver.
Ooh, me too.
Yeah, yeah.
They're known to kill great whites,
rip out their livers,
share them with their friends
and discard the rest of the carcass.
That's incredible. Yeah, they've also been known to eat, and discard the rest of the carcass. That's incredible.
Yeah, they've also been known to eat deer and moose
if they swim out too far.
Oh, I bet.
I bet.
And they also, but they don't eat humans, which is bizarre.
Well, it's because they normally see from what I have read
with humans and predatory animals
is that we legit don't taste good.
Yeah.
And that we are just, we're never considered
to be the number one meal for any apex predator
because of how difficult we are to catch.
They should just kill us though.
Oh, they could.
They could have back in the day.
They could have stopped this human experiment real early if they had wanted to.
But we are just never, they don't eat enough of us.
They don't like our taste.
Yeah.
They also enjoy playing with their food.
Cool.
Sometimes for hours.
Planet Earth has great footage of killer whales
tossing around a seal back and forth,
hurling it into the air to just rip it to shreds
after a very long torture session,
sometimes lasting hours.
The killer whale has been seen
to play with its prey
Hours on end the reason why you're hearing this tape is this is the last thing you'll ever experience
Next thing I know I have my dog have its way with you
with you. David Parker, killer whale.
Scientists don't know exactly why they do this.
Maybe it's for fun, but-
David Orca Ray.
David Orca Ray, there it is.
So jet lag.
Things are a little slow.
The reason, well, one thing I think is that maybe it's because the sea mammals fight back
That it can't be for fun other scientists think it helps with their digestive system. It's I bet you it's something like that There's also something to
Intelligence involving play we that is the thing that comes up with a lot of there are a lot of animals
So it's mostly it seems to be also to express energy, but it must have some form of
technically if it's there it must have some kind of
Darwinist like reason for being there
Yeah, it helps them search because it's a behavior that is learned and kept up
So they it's like they all watch other whales do it and then they do it and it means something
It must be about them building either building community
Yeah, grassroots campaigning. Yeah, and then maybe a lot of it
But yeah, they might just help them, you know, like a nice 10-minute walk after you walk
Well, you eat they say orcas usually swallow their food whole which is hard on the stomach
So the flopping around of a seal might help take its skin off. Oh, like tenderize it. Like tenderize it.
Yes.
Wow.
Yeah, they also, they learn to eat certain parts of animals,
like the shark liver or penguin breast.
They rip the breast off penguins and only eat that
and leave the rest of it behind.
Interesting.
And then they've also been known to remove salmon heads
before swallowing the rest of the fish
because the heads don't
digest as well.
Whoa, and it gets stuck in their assholes.
Yeah.
Little bits of corn.
And they know.
Wow.
That's interesting.
Yeah, I don't know.
Thank you.
Yeah, but that's the thing is stuff like that has to be taught.
Yeah.
Like they have to be talking to each other and telling like, don't swallow the salmon
head.
Or it's all watching them do it and then they all just
Mock the behavior and then it does serve a purpose. Yeah, they don't they do have different dialects
You know like yeah like a whale from Washington won't understand a whale from Nova Scotia or Iceland or anything
And I'm still in enough of free speech jail that I won't do the Asian whale accent here
That's cuz they're all been killed.
Um...
ALL LAUGH
Fly from your grave.
Um, here's something cute. They love community.
We all know that. They love their pods.
They have big families.
They have smaller families and extended families.
Um, but they also assist each other
in calf birth in the wild. The mother will swim around in circles, give births,
and then the other whales will lift the pup up to the surface
and help it breathe.
And then after, they can be seen celebrating,
jumping in the air, excited that a new orca has joined the pod.
Whoa! One more dead! One more of us! Yeah! They are clearly highly
intelligent and emotional animal with extremely large brains. Dolphins in
general have the largest brain to body ratio of all animals. Now that the trivial
pursuit of animal facts is over for now, let's talk about SeaWorld and how they acquire these magnificent animals. Well, I know that it ain't
easy
No, and it's also not super good to the animal. I
Remember reading about wrangling about how when he used to get elephants for the circus
They used to do a thing where they'd go to Africa
They'd get something like a hundred elephants because they knew they needed to get three to the circus because that's how many would live
in the transit from where they were taken to America.
God, just imagine dumping dead elephants off the side of a train.
No, no, definitely created probably a number of cryptids and it probably fed whole various
nations of the Kirkusks and the Trusnurkusks
interesting connection there
Barnum's most famous elephant Jumbo was killed and he was hit by a train. Whoa. Whoa
Yeah, some say saving a small boy really
some say
Some say. Some say.
That's how they sold it.
I mean, P.T. Barnum was the master of bullshitters, so I think it was Barnum say.
Oh yes.
Yes.
So as we said earlier, SeaWorld had four US locations.
Now they have three US locations.
And they recently opened up another one in Dubai, of all places.
Dubai is just a...
I've heard someone describe it as LinkedIn with slave labor.
Oh yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's a horrible, horrible, it seems like just a horrible place that shouldn't exist.
I'm terrified of it.
It's a tribute to human misery.
Yeah.
Well.
So now let's add animals in.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Let's take orcas to the fucking desert.
Yeah, they shouldn't be there.
They should be where the water is.
At least Orlando is natural, well, it It should be where the water is at least Orlando is natural that was sort of close to the water
So they have all these locations and the Shamu show is obviously the biggest draw
So they got to keep getting as many whales as possible
No Shamu is never just Shamu is just the name of like the brand there was an original Shamu
Shamu was the first killer whale brought to the San Diego Zoo in the 1960s.
Now Shamu is the stage name for all orcas that perform at SeaWorld.
Like Joe Biden, like the guy that is now Joe Biden.
Yes, Mr. Harris.
The fact that he was cloned several months ago.
And that's the reason why he had-
And the clones don't last so long
No, that's why he looks like you. Yeah, they do great very easily. Yeah, so all the whales have other names
But let's go through a quick yet confusing history of these particular killer whales
also
Just so you know Sea World refuses to use the term orca
See just so you know Sea World refuses to use the term orca
And only calls their performers killer whales because that's a more marketable name for a creature that you can go pay to see I Imagine oh much much more and you don't feel as bad watching a killer whale get mistreated. Yes
Yeah, that honestly that's good. That is very interesting. I never thought about it that way because then you're like well
That's a dangerous animal school thing is in there instead of out there. Yep
Because then you're like well, that's a dangerous animal school thing is in there instead of out there. Yep
SeaWorld has three ways of acquiring orcas in the old days They were captured in the wild and sold to aquariums and marine zoos
This practice was done in Iceland Canada and off the coast of Washington State
No longer happens in these places for ethical reasons. It's a disgusting practice. We'll get more into it in the next episode
Especially when they make these whales book their own bringers
They gotta come show up and they're supposed to do ten minutes. You gotta do three impressions
No, do you have an idea just dropping that in some character actors lap? Oh, you gotta come up with the impressions
Yeah, I mean the whale how much is the whale gonna do if you're already playing shadow now you're venting
Get these gigs
You know Iceland Iceland still whales
There's like there's still this huge argument within Iceland itself as to whether whaling is wrong or not
Yeah, don't sense him if they have much to do over there
over there. Except the CS Live.
Come see us in Reykjavik.
Don't bring the whales.
You gotta buy at least four tickets for a whale.
They've been doing it since the 12th century.
They got it down pat.
Yeah.
Well, Russia recently, as a couple years ago, has been continuing the practice of capturing
orcas and selling them to zoos and aquariums in China.
If you want to learn more about this, there's an amazing article called Why Defenders of Killer Whales Are Worried About China by Leah Thompson.
Give it a read. They also buy killer whales from other theme parks when they're down and
out.
Oh, so they flip whales.
Yes. A Sea World also, because a lot of times when they hunt, hunted these whales in the
wild back in the 70s and 80s, they would capture a couple of the babies, you know, and then they would throw them out to other zoos
These zoos start closing down
SeaWorlds buying the same whales from the same pods and now they're mingling back to each other money on top of them whale money
They're already making it's crazy
So they buy whales from other theme parks when they're down and out and of course
They've come under scrutiny for breeding the orcas in the park. So they are not allowed to breed them
They have stopped breeding them in the parks. Is it just because of the the the up to movement? Oh, yeah
Yeah, the up war people hated it
oddly enough
Stevo helped stop that when yeah when he he climbed a giant crane and
Brought a giant Shamu pool inflatable up there with him and wrote SeaWorld sucks on it and
The fire department had to get him down
Hey, you never hey, I say mr. Rogers said look for the helpers
Yeah, and then I never know when they come and then he also client
And then the the sign sign going into SeaWorld Drive, he climbed up there as well
and crossed out Drive and wrote sucks.
Nice.
Wow.
Yeah, so Steve-O has actually drawn a lot of attention and helped stop the breeding
in captivity of Orcas.
That's incredible.
SeaWorld has a history of moving their whales around the country from location to location To help the breeding process
Well, it seems to be a lot like priests when one of these whales fuck up or one of these animals fuck up
They just move them. They just move them to another spot. Yeah, man. It's complex and sad
But also important to the story of Tilikum and here's a breakdown laid out
Well by David Kirby in the book Death at Sea World.
So now this is where it's gonna, you're saying this is gonna be very sad.
This is gonna be sad and also a little confusing.
And so-
That's my favorite.
Yes.
It's great for podcasts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love this.
Let's just go, I'll go watch Dancer in the Dark, why don't we?
Oh, I remember that.
It's so quiet.
So Katina is the matriarch whale of the Orlando whales.
And by 1991, she was one of three left there.
OK, so there was many whales there.
Now there's only three.
She's the main mama bitch.
Yes, Katina was captured off the coast of Iceland
in October 1978 when she was two or three at the time.
Which is also when you got Maria Navratilova.
Yes.
See, this is very young for a female orca
to be separated from its mother.
Female orcas will stay by their mother's side up to 15 years.
Some even stay close to their mother
after they themselves have had a calf of their own.
Is this not how to make it some its own girl whale boss?
Yeah.
In a way like, you know, get away from the traditional gender roles of whales?
Well, actually, the lady whales are usually in charge.
Oh, okay, Kamala.
In some cases, three to four generations of females swim in close proximity to each other, okay
Orcas usually first mature to give birth at the age of 15
Katina was 9 when c-world made her have her first calf was her trainer Matt Gates
In 1984 Katina was impregnated in San Diego by a much larger orca, Winston, who was captured
off the coast of Washington in 1970.
Winston was purchased by SeaWorld San Diego in 1976 after spending time at a UK amusement
park where he got the shitty name Winston, of course.
Of course, my limes big to big ol' Winston middle.
I'm ready to fuck.
Yeah you bring it out there I'll give it a big quick shag.
Winston himself was rounded up a notorious mass capture in Pen Cove, Washington.
Where were you at Pen Cove there guv?
On the old walls.
Scooped us up to a place where I could fuck all willy nilly.
Best night of my life
Now I know what you're thinking this isn't gonna turn into the killer whale episode of someplace underneath. Where are the well?
But these highly intelligent emotional animals were trafficked for many years just stating the facts sure
Katina was then shipped back to Orlando to give birth there
Which is I was pregnant and that is very much a pastime in Florida
Pregnant as a child and have birth in state
And that's what she did
September 26 1985 Katina gave birth to the first orca ever born in captivity
Katina gave birth to the first orca ever born in captivity
Kalina so her name's Katina the baby's named Kalina right correct I have photographic evidence of me there with my family soon after this happened
Wow as a fellow big baby born in Orlando my family took me to see baby Shamu to pay respect honestly
It feels like a very
You know that big oh
We think she's the biggest baby. Yeah, the birth of Kalina baby
Shamu was a media sensation even more than my own Wow. Yeah, see Winston
This is all about jealousy. It really is cuz you only got one newspaper article and this baby was I got
Articles all across the country
They were talking about me in Chicago
They shouldn't have been no we're sending sweat's what it sounds like they were trying to traffic you
Traffic this big baby
car seat big enough
Winston was unable to celebrate the birth of his daughter because he died
Seven months later in San Diego from a heart attack. Because men are expendable.
Yes, he was 19 when he died.
Damn, Todd.
And remember, orcas have a life expectancy
of 30 to 60 years.
Did he have to go to the Gulf War?
I think he died before that.
Wow.
Baby Shamu brought in millions of visitors.
So what happens in show business when you're a hit?
Oh, yeah.
They put you on tour.
Come on, baby, they put you on tour
Yeah, so in 1990 and four years old Kalina hit the road
Remember female orcas stay with their mothers for 15 years in the wild so if we're like talking about the orcas as actual like, you know, like
Animals with intelligence. So it's like we're talking like
Generational trauma. Yeah these whales and every time dolphins. Yeah, and every time they're ripped apart from their families the mother
screams for years
Years. Yes, it is very upsetting
So they hit the road with with baby Kalina her first stop was Ohio
She was first to perform at a premature age with orcas
She did not know just take the word orca out and replace it with Lindsay Lohan. It's exactly the same
It's exactly the same story
She then did shows in San Diego and in the very tank that her father died and then finally ended her tour in
San Antonio and then booked and busy. Yeah, so fucking sad
I know my god in the two-year tour and you end up in San Antonio
And while she was in Texas at six years old she got pregnant Wow
And we all know how hard it is to get an abortion in that state
Her baby daddy was Cotar
Her baby daddy was Kotar. Whoa.
Kotar.
Yeah, a smaller orca captured off the coast of Iceland.
Shortcake!
He had been shipped around the Sea World parks as well.
Kotar had a tough time at the parks because of his size.
He was often bullied by the other whales, male and female alike.
Don't let anybody fucking do that to you, Kotar.
It's all about the fucking motion of the ocean.
Most of the time, the fucking female whales just want you to bear. It's all about the fucking motion of the ocean most of the time the fucking female
Whales just wants you to be confident something about you being big. It's about showing up and saying I'm the man to be here to fuck
All right
So we got many killer whales in the mix now
SeaWorld was for lack of a better term
Killing it and ranking in millions of dollars of profit and they're loving this. Yes, printing money
Nothing, but baby whales and everybody loves it.
Yeah.
They started to acquire other orcas to keep up with demand.
They often would get orcas from parks that were not doing as well as them.
In 1987, Orlando bought a large moody orca from a place called Marine Land, Ontario.
He was a transient orca, not a resident orca like all the other other orcas that was caught off the coast of Victoria, British Columbia
His name was
Canduke a big ol aggressive boy because his diet consisted of mammals like seals or Cotar being from Iceland
He grew up eating fish. Yeah, they were just hanging out
Yeah
the different kinds of guys
Trainers were not allowed to be in the water with Cand Duke because he was a transient orca and was more dangerous
And can Duke is the opposite of Marcus on vacation because Marcus on vacation was can't Duke
Yeah
Two and a half weeks in Australia and it became distressing really it took that long took a long time
I got regular the day before we left Wow. Yeah, man. It's called traveling. It's called your belly hurts
Don't you cheese a lot? No, he needs more roughage. You talk with no I ain't I ain't good
You didn't eat good. We do you eat together? Yeah, all right
Well, she'll shake you a bunch if you need next time
also
Can Duke show signs of aggression and self-harm? He was known to ram his own head into the wall until bleeding
And sometimes when the trainers arrived in the morning,
bugs would be swarming around his wounds.
Now, it's just very interesting,
because like people, it's like,
Kotar's like, oh no.
This is Kanduk.
This is Kanduk, I know, but Kotar's like,
oh shit, they just brought this big troubled,
crazy guy in here that I gotta deal with
like he's in a fucking gen pop in prison.
Exactly, and then one day in Orlando, Kanduk and Kotar got in a big gen pop in prison exactly and then one day in Orlando
Candid and Cotar got in a big old fight in front of everybody whoa
We repeatedly beached themselves on the side out it would scream and anger and frustration
Whoa, that's kind of fun though as a as a people at SeaWorld kind of watching it, but it's not good
I mean as you know it's that's so like do you want to be there that day or not?
I don't know yeah the screaming day I mean, as, you know, it's so, like, do you want to be there that day or not?
I don't know.
Yeah, the screaming day?
We're just watching the two whales fight each other.
It's kind of fun.
Well, at the peak of the battle, the little guy, Kotar, fresh out of ideas, bit Canduuk
on the penis, severely wounding him.
That's what my father told me, is that there's no such thing as a fair fight.
You just have to do it.
You gotta win.
You gotta punch a guy in the dick.
You gotta pull out his eyeballs. That's what you gotta do. That's have to do it. You gotta win. You gotta punch a guy in the dick. You gotta pull out his eyeballs.
That's what you gotta do.
That's what Cotard did.
Yeah, man, that's fucking Short King's, man.
Short King's rules.
And they punished him and sent him back to San Antonio.
Worst thing you could possibly do.
That's where he made it with Kalina
and gave birth to their son named Keat.
Oh, whoa, are they all from the Palin family?
I like that they all hung out together.
I mean, he just got to go fuck.
Basically.
And Keat stayed in San Antonio and Kalina was finally shipped back to Orlando and reunited
with her mother, Katina, after being separated for almost five years.
She was also pregnant again from Kotar.
Damn, needed condoms.
This was less than one year after the birth of Keat.
The gestational period for killer whales is usually
17 to 18 months in the wild they usually wait five years between calves
But if we've learned anything from Alabama the best part about is that fucking free
Yeah, I mean, it's easy to do it's fun to do don't cost money to gush inside
Kalina's second calf keto waseto, was born in Orlando.
She's around five years old at this point, one third
of the age of most killerware mothers.
Keto would grow up to be an angry fucker just
after telecom, of course.
Also, SeaWorld wasn't even slowing down the breeding.
CanDuke had also impregnated Katina
while he was in Orlando.
Damn, dog.
Now SeaWorld has now created a whole new killer whale.
Because remember, Katina, a resident fish eater,
and Kanduke, a transient mammal eater, gave birth to Katarina.
Whoa, that should be like the super whale.
So it's a new super whale.
Whoa, that's cute!
Yes, see, that or its entire brain is completely fucked up.
Super whale. Whoa, that's cute. Yes. See that or its entire brain is completely fucked up
Well, see world is very creative with the whale breeding but not so much in the naming department Yeah, there's a lot of same names like can't be a Steve. Yeah. Yeah, there are no Steve's
This is our funky. This is the fucking whale called the Reaper. Yeah, this is Sean
Well, Katarina was shipped off to Ohio
because the baby Shamu business was going well,
and then they sent her to San Antonio
when she was four years old,
and then she died from a bacterial pneumonia
at the age of 10.
Bacterial pneumonia seems to be the trend
on how these whales die in captivity.
Female orcas in the wild
live to a maximum lifespan
of 90 years old. She was 10.
Jesus.
There were three other SeaWorld-owned whales
in the mix here.
Keanu, a female who gave birth
to two baby shimus in captivity.
Whoa.
The first died at 11 days old, and the other was Kayla.
Keanu was sent to Orlando, and Kayla was sent to Ohio.
Keanu only lasted
seven months in Orlando and died at the age of 17 also from bacterial pneumonia.
Meanwhile in Florida the mammal eating kanduk continued to impregnate other
fish eating Icelandic killer whales. This is what I do friend. Okay I kill I fuck.
Kanduk, kanduk. Gudrun, a female, was captured from the same time
as Keanu off the coast of Iceland.
I know a Gudrun.
You do, you do?
It's an Icelandic name.
Oh wow.
But first, she was shipped to perform in the Netherlands
before being purchased by Cyril Delano.
Gudrun gave birth to Tima and Nyar a couple years apart.
Gudrun was a better mother to the first.
That's a judgment call.
Yes.
And I think that you're a bastard for doing that,
because I think all mothers are blessed.
Well, by the mid-'90s, SeaWorld was having a hard time
keeping up with the demand for their shows.
It was harder to capture killer whales in the wild.
Canada, Iceland, and Washington State outlawed the capturing of the whales, as we said. So
they were forced to breed in captivity or just buy whales from other parks. There were
not many options left. Canduke dies.
Damn, not the cum supplier.
Yeah. And Cotar was in Texas, so SeaWorld Orlando needed to fix this problem. Where were they gonna hunt for a new stud?
They only had two options
Keiko owned by Mexico City Amusement Park and his fucking dick was fucking he's ready to fuck whatever dude
He's hanging there. He's camera ready, man. He's fucking he's ready to fuck now, man
I'm ready to fuck actually Keiko was very depressed and he had a bent dorsal fin and he was covered in lesions
Oh unhealthy at best. I feel like it's yeah
I mean honestly and especially these days the bar is so low for men Keiko though
Went on to be the most famous orca in history better known as Willie from free Willie. No shit. It's incredible
Yeah, that's the why I got yelled at
Whenever I made anything above a slow walk where people would go like hey
Yeah, that was a couple years that we all dealt with that you were fat
Well, I'm gonna sidetrack us for two seconds here just to talk about cake oh because this story is insane as well
Free Willie if you remember was a huge hit people love free will yeah
153 million off a 20 million dollar budget
It was about a boy who falls in love with an orca named Willie and is determined to free him
It's a nice movie Michael Madsen's in it and he's even nice. He's nice in that movie
He's very nice in that movie movie where he plays like a nice person. Yeah, he has to be nice. Yes
Yeah, he's a single father. I believe
Spoiler alert they free Willy. No!
Yeah, well, the fucking poster is the spoiler
to the end of the movie, so I don't feel that bad.
Anyway, right before the credits roll in free Willy,
it says, you can help save whales of the world
by calling 1-800-4-WHALES.
And then you call it, and you're like, hey.
Are you single?
Are you a transient whale looking for a warm porthole? Well, I called it earlier today and
It was just some message of a nice old man telling you to go to the website
Keiko calm and leave a message if you feel like it. Yes. Yes an old way of using the internet, but yes
Everyone of course after they saw the movie and that was like hey, that's a great idea
How about we free K Ko? He's the star of the goddamn movie
Yeah, dude, so you mean tell me he gets to just be the guy inside
He gets to act like a free whale that he's definitely not a free whale because he's on camera doing cues
Yeah, so they're like let's free his fucking ass
So one eight hundred four whales got three hundred thousand calls to free Keiko
And then that was easier said than done remember Keiko is super sick. He's in this crappy Mexico City aquarium
It just was his tank wasn't even filled with salt water. It was filled with fresh water and chlorine
Oh, so they couldn't even grab
It's not like you can just grab them and ship them back to Iceland expect everything to be finding Dan
No, we'll get torn apart by the other whales or just die immediately just from the environment
Yeah, so he also has no idea how to be an orca
He needs to learn how to do whale shit like talk and eat right now. He's eating dead fish out of people's hands. He doesn't
He doesn't know how to hunt, you know
I mean, it's also the reason why they change the way they do that now we know that they try to feed it in a
Way that kind of stimulates their brains or whatever right now
I mean still they're just giving them dead frozen fish, but like we saw that one when we went to sea time in
In Australia in Sydney where they have the dugong and they're just like they give it like it's special leaves inside of the park and co
That was a nice aquarium. Yeah, that's a yeah, we're talking SeaWorld
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and do do Gong he couldn't he was one of three
He couldn't go longs and in captivity because he can't go back much like Keiko. He's out there. They built them
They built him this new gorgeous facility. They didn't take him out, right?
Well, they before they moved them out
They had to build him a new facility in Oregon that took a year and a lot of money and they were trying to raise money.
So Warner Brothers chipped in, thank God, because they made so much money off of the
fucking movie and then made three other movies.
And another eccentric millionaire, Craig McCaw, helped cover the rest of the cost.
As long as there can be a little hole I could stick my dick in.
Dude, this guy, he was like, had cell phone money, and he was just given
300,000 a month to Kako dude
These people need these whales need somebody who's just gonna give them money. Yeah, so the facility's still there
It's gorgeous and it simulated the ocean and they began to release fish in there to teach him at a hunt
When they thought he was ready they shipped them back to Iceland on a c-17 the army fucking covered it. Oh
They they do just fucking throw buckets of water throughout or what? He's just gonna giant like concrete like
Yeah, I imagine and when they got they ship them back
They
They still couldn't get him free just yet
Because they didn't know what would happen
So they put him in this bay and had a giant netted area that was like a couple acres
wide and then he kind of hung out in there and he caught some fish and he started to talk to some other orcas and
Eventually, they let him go and see how it do he couldn't socialize with the other workers that well
But he was like very interested in them. So he followed a pod of workers all the way from Iceland to Norway
Once he got there the the other workers were like you're weird
Like why do you like these humans so much because the humans are like watching this all go down
Yeah, make sure that the millions of dollars are like going towards something positive
He keeps going back to them because that's where fish come from
Yeah, he likes them and like and they're like the other the other orcas like what the fuck you doing? Are you a spy?
And so eventually he doesn't make any friends and
he he lives a very lonely existence for a couple years
and dies of bacterial pneumonia.
My God.
Yes.
So, but he technically was released into the wild
and did live for a certain amount of time free.
He had no friends, but he did get to live free again.
And that's the ultimate freedom. I don't know. No friends, no friends, no attachments.
Absolutely not. Fagrancy, my friend. Yes. Full total floating. So there's only one other
option to stud for Orlando. Now it was an 11 year old male from a place named sea land
of the Pacific. His name was Tilikum and he just
got done killing his first victim, Kelty Lindburn, and that's where we'll pick up next week in
the horrors of Sea World Part II.
Jesus Christ, that is very funny. You just did it like literally Tilikum is a serial
killer. He is the meanest of the whales. He's the longest body count of any purposeful animal like literally till it come is a serial
Longest body count of any purposeful animal besides elephants elephants kill the most
Trainers in captivity, but not one elephant has killed the most yes I mean, it's but it's kind of interesting yes, he's a till it comes killed two other people
And he set the context like it was a serial killer. Yeah
That's where we'll pick back up. Yeah, like he did all, he did his background, we did the psychological makeup. It is a true crime episode. It is, but with a way, with
a dolphin. That's the thing. Good work. Way to go buddy. Really good work. Woof. Tricked
him. Tricked the audience. Man, if you want to see Eddie's wonderful killer whale sweater
Oh, you didn't even mention the fact that he's sweating balls in here for no fucking reason
No, you want to go see it? It's on the patreon.com slash last podcast on the left is where you can go to watch video
Episodes you can follow us at tik-tok and Instagram at LP on the left
You can also check out our streams at twitch.tv slash LPNTV and catch all those streams later on
After the fact on YouTube you can come see us on tour
We got shows coming up in Boston in London in Reykjavik in Los Angeles and New York City
And Chicago got side stories tickets for sale next week. So come on out for that the Park West theater
I can't wait that place is fucking beautiful. I can't wait to be there
I can't wait to do it. I can't wait to get sick on food afterwards with you to buddy really gross
Yeah, we're getting fucking I want to get I want to get some backstage and then after the show
I want to go out and get sick again. Yeah, I want to get real sick. Yeah, just remember
We got the show the next night. You know you just fucking shit
What you got to do is you know Mike I have the opposite problem too much dookie. Yeah, yeah, no it's always there for yeah, I got a real
It's a shy wreck my loves friends
Not like till it come no no no so hell Satan everyone how gene hell
Kalina.
Yeah, poor Kalina.
Poor Kalina.
She never stood a chance.
She was in that video with James Dean.