Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 612: Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell - The Doomsday Murders Part IV - Pet Semetary

Episode Date: March 14, 2025

The boys reach the end of the road for Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell this week, diving into the highly publicized arrest of the 'Doomsday' duo and the insidious series of events surrounding the mysterious deaths of Alex Cox, Tammi Daybell, Tylee Ryan, and JJ Vallow. For Shows, Merch, and More Visit: LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Hello, Florida. Your favorite son and biggest baby are coming home to bring you the laughs you deserve. Everyone likes to poke fun of the Florida man. Everyone likes to use Florida as a punching bag. Whenever an alligator on meth eats an old person, it can happen anywhere. As a famous Floridian baby, I feel your pain. So that's why I'm coming home to let you know it's okay to be who you are.

It's okay that the rest of America is scared of us. It's okay that books are illegal in our schools. It's okay whenever it gets cold it rains iguanas. I'm here to support you. So come on out. March I'll be in North Florida, and in May I'll be in North Florida and in May I'll be in South Florida and Orlando. It's the invasive species tour. Ed Larson. Me is coming to Florida in

March and May. I'm coming to Jacksonville, Panama City, Tallahassee, Marco Island, Dania Beach, Orlando and Key West. So lock up your public subs and start singing the Miami Dolphins fight song because we're going to party like it's Florida baby. Tickets at eddytoons.com. That's when the cannibalism started. Yesterday, what happened? I know you guys are going to be listen, tell me about it. I'm so excited to finally tell you this it finally happened to me I was on my toto praying and I

Do you ever have I know people don't necessarily like it when I start with anything about my bodily functions? Yeah, I'm just gonna start like I'm not gonna go into it deep. I'm just not necessarily. It's they just plain don't like it It's whatever but I you know couple that like You know when you're having a filthy dirty little fuckers Look your lips. You know I mean when a dukes too hard Yeah, when it like when it's too difficult to get out or when it's too like physically hard or physically hard. Mm-hmm Yeah, you gotta cook too long in the middle of this I black out And all of a sudden I'm in this tunnel of light.

And I'm going through, I see come back and forth, like the wash and all this kind of stuff, like all this energy's coming this way. This is your first anal cum, isn't it? Dude, I might have been, I might have come so hard that I turned to death. I went into death, death mode. And did you guys know?

Jesus is black. Wow! Yeah! Really? That's crazy, dude! That's nuts! He showed up! I thought he wasn't real! And did you guys know mm-hmm Jesus is black Wow yeah, really? He wasn't real Yeah me dude, and I was just like what and he said guess what dude be gay yeah Really, and he's just like and then he bent over and started sucking his own penis He's just like and then he bent over and started sucking his own penis Came up through his robes. You know what I thought was so big was it normal okay? Yeah, and I felt like like a carpenter's like the carpenters cut It has to be a useful one. Yeah, it's a carpenter to give a good circumcision

It does it does but then which I thought was truly beautiful, the penis itself. Asian. Wow. Wow, interesting. I thought it'd be great if his penis was shaped like a cross. He didn't, not Jules. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name's Marcus Parks. I'm here with the sacrilegious Henry Zabrasky. I have been chosen as the vessel of the message of sucking your own penis is the only way to know thyself. And we have Ed Larson. That's right.

I'm still waiting for all the evidence. They could be innocent. You know what? And that's the smartest take I've heard. Because he's right. They're still, they've only had two trials. Yeah. That they've only had two trials. Yeah. That they've both been convicted.

Yeah. It was a, it was a, you know, COVID trials are very weird. You know, you're tired to get a good jury in there. It is. Yeah. Especially over Zoom, especially over Skype before we had Zoom. It's hard to translate all that stuff. That is hard.

So today we're here. We're here at the conclusion. Chad Daybell and Lori Valo part four We're gonna find out just how guilty these motherfuckers are super guilty I just went listed to six hours of the coroner talking. Oh, yeah, guess what man boring. He needs new material Yeah, it's corners. They're never camera ready. No, dude. I'm just saying that dr. G Who's that? There was a whole show a reality show about a medical examiner named dr. G In which they use actual people as the corpses not of course the actual corpses

Yeah, you know they use actors to play the corpses. Oh, it's a lot of old people They're trying to figure out the cause of death so it's just a bunch of naked old people getting manhandled by actors That's kind of fun. It is really really fun and the G stood for Godzilla. Godzilla. ALIEN! Shooting the fire flames. So when we last left Chad Daybell and Lori Vallo, Lori's fourth husband Charles had just been murdered by Lori's psychopathic, open-minded comedian brother, Alex Cox.

Since Lori was now unfettered by marital demands, she was free to finally move to Rexburg, Idaho, aka the New Jerusalem, where Chad Daybell had been gathering his faithful followers in anticipation for the end times. There was still, however, three people standing in the way of Lori and Chad being together fully. Lori's two children, 16-year-old Tylee and 7-year-old JJ, as well as Chad's wife of over 30 years, Tammy Daybell. So how long did she wait after Charles was killed before she moved to New Jerusalem? Seven weeks.

Oh, okay. They had been kind of going back and forth and visiting because that's where all the PAP conferences were. Oh, how close is that to 40 days? So biblical. It's very close. Yeah. Now the theory is that Chad Daybell wanted complete control over Lori, and that wasn't going to happen until both of Lori's children from previous marriages were out of the picture.

In my opinion though, Lori wanted the kids gone just as if not more than Chad. But that does bring up a few questions. See if you'll remember, 7 year old JJ wasn't even Lori's biological child. JJ was blood related to Charles Valo. So Lori could have easily shuffled responsibility for JJ over to JJ's biological grandmother, Kay Woodcock. She specifically asked for him. In that same vein, Lori could have unloaded

Tylee onto any number of people in her immediate family. Her eldest son Colby certainly would have taken Tylee in rather than see her die, and even Lori's youngest sister, Summer, seemingly the only sane member of the Cox family, said she would have happily taken care of Tylee until Tylee was old enough for college. And so the question is, why did Laurie and Chad have to kill the kids at all?

It's fun! That's why, Marcus. Well, personally, I think it comes down to two possibilities. As I said last episode, JJ and Tylee might have known incriminating details about the murder of Charles Vallow, and Laurie may have ordered Alex to kill them to supposedly

protect their holy mission. Kill the kids. Giggity gig. Sounds like a fun afternoon. murder of Charles Vallow, and Laurie may have ordered Alex to kill them to supposedly protect their holy mission. Kill the kids, giggity-gig, sounds like a fun afternoon. See you guys! So it's possible she really did think they were zombies. Well that's the thing, it may be something far more shallow than the spiritual mission. I would concur that it is absolutely far more shallow. See like her mother, Laurie Vallow was obsessed with appearances,

and one couldn't very well be seen as a great spiritual leader of the Mormon people and a mother who abandons her children simultaneously. It's also possible that Laurie wanted to prove to Chad, and to herself, that she could walk the walk. So, it is possible that Laurie killed her kids because being the mother of two missing children is a better look than being a neglectful mother and killing her kids proved her dedication to her and Chad's fantasy world. It also completes the vision within visions of glory and the constant thing that is brought up about Mormon prophets in the post us world in the Mormon led post-apocalypse is that wives and children, they have no purpose. They all say that each one of these major prophets

loses their family as some form of Job-like sacrifice to the fatalist nature of the way God has chosen to run the post-apocalypse. So there is a little bit of that too, where they're like, you know, actually, according to the style of the times There's no children in our paradise you read vision of glory holes Actually, I'm really glad you brought that up to the last

Tabletop book on the left. We are doing our first ever. It's just different glory holes from around the world. And it's amazing how these shapes change. Italy? They're square. Like ravioli. Well, if we're talking about appearances, that does bring up another question. If Laurie killed the kids because it looked better than abandoning them, then why did she keep their deaths a secret? Well, I think that question tells you quite a bit about Lori Vallow. One, I think it speaks to her as a narcissist who engaged in the highest forms of magical thinking.

She did whatever she wanted in this world and believed that she was so special that if she just kept denying that anything was wrong, things would work out all on their own. But I also think, perhaps even more so, that Lori did believe Chad when he told her that the world was gonna end in July of 2020. And if she just held on long enough, then the matter of the missing kids was gonna be a moot point.

That's correct. I think that she thought that they had a looming deadline. And they thought that this would all wash away once it all proves to be true, which it didn't You're all Chad you bitch see you in fucking prison can't wait till you get the chair But she also had a very practical reason for killing the kids Yeah, which is to collect the Social Security checks JJ received something like four thousand dollars a month Which is what she was getting as passive income. Chad also wanted this passive income. They said it in a text exchange back and

forth when Charles Vallow's insurance payment didn't come to her. She was like, don't worry, I'm still getting the $4,000 from JJ. She says it in the thing. And so that's how they can wipe them out, lie about the deaths, because who doesn't get... You can't get social security checks to a dead person, right, technically, right? And so that's the reason why you have to hide the deaths so that you can continue to get paid and so he was fourth-grand for because he was severely autistic severely autistic wow that's the other shallow version of this which is I my and this is my own this is my own

opinion obviously but Lori Vallow without the regular Botox she's starting to look like you remember those Reagan puppets from the old Peter Gabriel video like that like she's really starting to look rough and she also said she couldn't age remember yeah that's a big thing but there's a part of me that thinks that Tylee and

JJ didn't fit the castable looks of the prophets children and Chad did yes Chad is the Mormon elite. Chad is the Mormon vision of what a man's supposed to be feckless he can't see his penis because out of sight out of mind and then if he's got because that's what really protects him. Yeah. He looks like the cum that made him. Exactly. Exactly. It shows that God did not waste a single seed. Just made him all cum. He looks like what Slimer looked like when he was still alive.

Yeah. You did that joke on me where I look like the guy who plays Slimer in a gay porn version of Ghostbusters. That's actually Eddie's joke. Yes. Oh yeah, well I said Richard Dreyfuss if you played Slime. Yes, and that is what this man is. He is the Michelin tire man with a little tiny penis. Now what we do know is that the plan to kill Tylee and JJ began pretty soon after Laurie

arrived in Rexburg in July of 2019, and this was about a year before the apocalypse was due to come knocking on everyone's door See since JJ was severely autistic Charles had bought him a service dog But soon after Charles's murder Lori put the dog up for sale cleaning house as it were Which was more or less the first step towards her getting rid of all her remaining encumbrances which is also a massive red flag because you're not supposed to sell a service dog It's actually illegal Yes, they did it on she tried to do it on Facebook Really? Yeah, just try to sell this service dog which you'll have they're like doesn't JJ need the service dog

She's like, oh, you know JJ's been fucking being like super cool recently Very independent what you actually said is that well the service. I was more like Charles's thing. It's like not really my thing Independent what you actually said is that well the service. I was more like Charles's thing. It's like not really my thing Service thought I got a service dog Rambo. I made him a service dog, but he's more of a waiter He he very much is in he's like a catering dog It'd be kind of cool if you give like a little kid like a service dog, but it's like an attack dog Oh, I'm sure that happens a lot Can you imagine getting a like a blind man like nine chihuahuas if you could give him like more dogs?

Right more than like that be kind of cute. It's not as same as one service dog Yeah, it's like nine service dogs. You just want like an army of dogs. Just make a lot of noise Yeah, yeah seems like it would be a encumbrance I feel like that as if you were blind and you wanted to take it out on us You'll have to deal with my seeing eye army! Shit, dude! Now while the cops hadn't charged Alex Cox with the murder of Charles Vallow and instead believe the easier, work-free explanation of self-defense, the people in Chad and Laurie's

immediate circle were not so easily swayed. See, for some reason, the murder of Charles Vallow was what finally snapped podcaster Melanie Gibb out of her delusions concerning Chad and Lori's claims of divinity. Because I don't think Melanie Gibb ever really believed that their text chains wishing for the death of Charles Vallow were actually gonna work. Melanie Gibb later said that while she started out as a true believer, actually gonna work. Melanie Geb later said that while she started out as a true believer, she did anything Chad and Lori asked her to do after the murder. Not because she was a follower, but because she had become afraid that if she said no, she would be labeled as a zombie and murdered as well. It's quite possible, it's also quite possible that she started getting real upset when they

started using her as an alibi. That's what they started to do because everybody was just a removable piece that wasn't Chad or Lori. Also an accessory. Didn't she like help steal his car? Oh yeah, she is a Melanie Gibb is guilty of crimes. She should have been arrested as well. I'm actually really, really surprised that she wasn't. She's out there out there still podcasting away her with other the Illuminaries in the podcasting world such as Meghan Markle, Barack Obama, some of the fine new podcasters out there, she's really doing it and she very much so was a part of this conspiracy

and only extricated herself when it got hot. I think that she would have, if they would have killed her husband and it brought her in on it, which is what she was angling to do, she was trying to get her husband labeled as dark and if she had wanted to, she would have, if they would have killed her husband and it brought her in on it, which is what she was angling to do, she was trying to get her husband labeled as dark. And if she had wanted to, she could have pressed it farther, but then she decided, maybe I'll get blamed. Yeah, well, I mean, it's very easy to see why she didn't go to jail, because she turned Stace Witsen witness. You gotta do that. You gotta flip. You gotta take that flip. You gotta flip! You gotta take that flip!

Now once Laurie moved to Rexburg, she was soon joined by her and Chad's so-called divine hitman, Alex Cox. Unlike Melanie Gibb, Alex had only gotten closer to Chad since he'd shot and killed Charles Vallow, and Chad was playing the same game with Alex that he'd played with Laurie. See, while Laurie had been told that she'd been the wife of important figures in Mormon history in her past lives, Alex was told that he had been a special protector to important figures, and it was Alex's job in this life to protect Laurie from zombies like Charles Vallow. Listen, you're very, very important. You remember Denzel Washington? That's you. Okay. But... from what movie?

Well any number of his films that I'm not allowed to see Or you know like that's the thing. You're the helper. You know your moron eyes think about this your moron eyes Valet you help him. Okay. All right, So gladiator to Denzel Washington. Yes. Shocking Brooklyn accent. Well, I mean, this is another cult tactic is that all he's doing is he's telling these people that, you know, they have lived this role in a past life. And it just so happens that the role that they lived in the past life that was very important and very cool is the exact same role

that they have to live in this life. Like Laurie Vallow has to be the wife of the Prophet. Alex Cox has to be the protector of the wife of the Prophet and also the Prophet. You have to be. You have to be because that's... this is your destiny. Like that's the whole destiny thing. It is your destiny You me Moroni Hanging out in the post-mormon apocalypse Sharon strangers wives just you know, I hate that he's got no Riz no, he's got none. No, he's got nothing. He's got absolutely nothing. That's how low the bar is in Mormonism.

We would clean up. I thought about it. We just moved in. Let's abandon the episode. I thought about it. Let's move to Salt Lake City and let's take over that fucking town. Man, if I were to become a Mormon, I'd be president of the church in 10 years. Let's do it God let's take it and then we flip it from the inside We take the money I fucking turn the entire though the opening like they have that big fountain in front of the and he's

Fill it with fucking beer Fill up my big Stein being like God says we're drinking It's a funnily, we will be in Salt Lake City. Very good, plug! In July, July 12th. LastPyCutsandLots.com. But being a special protector was a hell of a lot more exciting than Alex Cox's reality. Alex Cox's reality was that he was a failed stand-up comedian

who'd never gotten out of the Phoenix open mic scene and instead opted for a career as a truck driver. Listen, I don't know if anybody ever heard this before, but if you're ready to sex with a black chick, please stay off the ceiling. Didn't you use, Alex, you used that joke last week. Is that, oh, did you hear that from your brother-in-law Adam? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sex with the black chick and it's funny We love our truck driver we do Ed said last week country wouldn't run without

I always do the honk honk and I don't care if you think I'm mentally disabled But driving a truck is not as exciting as being the personal assassin for a central figure in the upcoming apocalypse. So with Alex at their side, Chad and Lori had someone who would carry out their dirty work without question. About eight weeks after Charles' murder, Lori, Tylee, and JJ moved into a townhouse unit in Rexburg. Alex Cox soon moved into the townhouse next door, after quitting his truck driving job

to quote unquote, protect Lori full time. It does seem, however, that by the time the Daybell cult began building this little enclave in the Rexburg townhouses in early September, Alex had already been told about the plan to get rid of Tylee and JJ. This, of course, can be inferred from the idiotic text messages sent between Alex and Lori. On September 3rd, Yeah, this makes me angry.

This is a, cause this is the thing that happens with cults so fucking often, and it's especially prevalent in modern cults. I'm so fucking sick of cults getting cute. The irony that they, it doesn't make it, like you're not hip just because you're doing it out loud. I hate you. On September 3rd, after Alex set up the wifi for his and Lori's townhouses, he texted Lori the network name. Alex had called it Anti-Layman, which is of course a stupid Mormon thing,

layman being short for laymanites, the bad guys in the Book of Mormon. But tellingly, the password for the wifi was TOO MANY KIDS, using the number 2, which is weird by itself, but not incriminating. But in response to the wifi name and password, Lori wrote, unprompted, that she and Chad were trying to quote, Get to the bottom of what we need to do to eliminate them completely. Which was in reference to the kids. Well you forget, you also forget, right before that, she had typed, hahahaha so funny. Yeah, that's right.

Which is true, she laughed at the too many kids, which is important because it shows that she knew exactly what he was referring to. Yes. Yeah, buddy. She wrote it down. He wrote it down. They both wrote it down.

She both laughed at it. The laughing at it even makes it more incriminating. Too Many Kids also just sounds like a Mormon YouTube family blogging channel. Just shows that they're clearly planning the whole thing. Very much so. Mine is too little ham. Yes, of course.

Yes, because you come over. Yeah, it always has. So now that Chad Dayball and Lori Valo lived in the same town, they go on walks together on the Brigham Young University, Idaho campus, where Chad would tell Lori to be patient because Tammy was going to die in a car accident any day now. I was downtown last week. The drivers are getting worse and worse. Chad, however, didn't go by Lori's townhouse just yet because Lori's daughter, Tylee, was

understandably upset about uprooting her whole life at the age of 16 because her mother believed herself to be one of God's chosen. And Chad Daybell was pretty much the symbol of everything that was going wrong in Tylee's life. But Lori would not wait long at all after moving to Rexburg before she took care of Tylee. Lori had fashioned Tylee into a little miniature her. She was very much in love with her mom's attitude very similar to Lori's own childhood with her mother. And Tylee wanted to be in her mother's good graces a large amount.

If you watch the interrogation footage of Tylee Ryan after Charles Vallow's death, she repeats the same story as Lori. They tell this whole convoluted story, the self-defense thing, but you can tell, and maybe it's just because I'm watching this stuff for so long and you're watching it from with hindsight, is that you can tell she's parroting bullet points. She's hitting, you can tell this is a rehearsed talk. Yeah, and mimicking her mannerisms even. She's talking just like her mother. When you see the mother say the word. That's the thing that keys me in. Lori's doing her spiel of laughing and stuff. Cut to Tylee

saying the same exact turns of phrases. These same exact things. She's like, oh she's been coached but the cops were too busy. Another day in fucking hug. I better go. Oh no, we better go check on that Salt Lake again. Mixed up still, plenty seasoned. Oh, have you ever been to Pepper Mountain? We better go. This story is not a commercial for good policing. It's not. It's really not.

But the problem when they moved to Rexburg is that, you know, Tylee had been this sort of mini me for so many years, but then Tylee's behavior changed. you know Tylee had been this sort of mini me for so many years But then Tylee's behavior changed. Yeah, Tylee was not doing 16 year old. She's 16 year old She's not doing whatever Laurie says anymore. She's being difficult You know, she's fucking pissed off that she had to move to Rexburg, Idaho And I think it's the second third maybe fourth time she's had to move in her life. She's fucking sick of it and Laurie does not do well with people

giving her any kind of guff. Well, because Tylee didn't know that she was cruising for a bruising because she didn't understand that her fighting her mother was her exhibiting zombie-like behavior. Exactly. Well, just a week and a day after Lori moved into the townhouse in Rexburg, she and Alex took Tylee and JJ on a day trip to Yellowstone National Park just an hour and a half drive away The whole family took a lot of photos on their smartphones where everyone appeared to be happy and having a good time But those photos were the last known pieces of evidence that showed Tylee Ryan still alive Now as far as what happened to Tylee we really don't have a clear picture of what went down By the time Tylee's body was found many months after her murder, it was so badly decomposed

and had been so thoroughly destroyed that the medical examiner had no choice but to determine the cause of death as homicide by unspecific means. Later investigations, however, used smartphone data and pings on nearby towers to track the movements of Alex Cox. And using that data, they were able to build a loose timeline of what may have transpired. Yeah, Tylee was found in, sadly, in multiple bags. And that was what was... She was found in a bucket. Yes. And then, but that bucket contained multiple bags.

And those bags had to put which is why her Autopsy took something like two weeks. It took a very very long time and Yeah, but they was so destroyed. It's very hard to figure out exactly what happened So according to the smartphone data Alex Cox showed up at Laurie's townhouse late at night after the trip to Yellowstone arriving at 242 a.m. It's believed that Alex and or Lori murdered Tylee that night, and Alex spent the next hour completely dismembering and beheading Tylee's corpse in Lori's home. He then took the remains to his own townhouse next door, where he presumably got a couple hours of sleep.

Then at 9am, he left for Chad Daybell's property with Tylee's dismembered body in tow See Chad had a good amount of land surrounding his home in Idaho Plenty of room to bury a body and he'd already chosen a spot to bury Tylee east of his barn Chad the former professional gravedigger likely dug the hole himself So much extra land in Idaho. Why bury him on your own property? Because that's what he had access to. You can keep an eye on it. Yeah, it's because he's Mormon and he's stupid. Like literally that was the plan. It was just because it's there and I can do it. And again, they're working what we talked about before, this idea of we have to remember,

they still think this all's going to be real in a way the Chad I don't know so much because obviously he lied and he changed his email thing up Yes, but on some level you were now you're now on the point We're killing children you believe that this is gonna turn out all right Yeah, right So you kind of think as long as I kind of handled all my own No one's gonna come peering into my world Alex believes it's real Laurie believes it's real Chad Most likely has convinced himself that it's real. He's the most like he's the one who's the gonna benefit the most Yeah, and I think there's also there's a bit of a ritualistic aspect to this which you know

I'm gonna get into now and if you want to get into ritual, you usually have to do that on your own property. That's what I learned. Because guess who hates it? The goddamn YMCA. Because guess what the M doesn't stand for? Magic rituals. According to who? According to nobody I fucking give a shit.

I don't care about it. Those old men make me look at their penises, I'm gonna show them a pentagram. We know that Lori Alex and Chad Daybell planned this murder together well in advance because the day after Tylee was killed, Chad had googled what direction the wind would be blowing on the day they were set to dispose of Tylee's corpse. The reason why he googled wind direction was because he and Alex had planned to burn the body before burying it.

And this is, you know, possibly two reasons. It could be to less than the chances of someone noticing the smell of rotting flesh over time, or it could be, like I said, somewhat of a ritual. Could have been a ritual, or it's just the fuck, they don't understand how hard it is to burn a body. I feel like there's a lot comes down to just- Chad totally knows how hard it is to burn a body.

Chad was in the fucking dead body business for forever. Do you cremate, but in the cremation business, does that go over to the gravedigger business? Is that not two separate, is that like a union job? It's two separate things, but they talk. Yeah, and also- No, but the talk is more like, what's your favorite color of a recently deceased member of society? Ah, yeah, I like it when it's brown and green.

That's how they talk. I go for a classic gray. I want the tits to be completely sawed off. As long as it's mortals, that's all I care about. Which way's the wind? Just because I farted. Which way's the wind? Just cause I farted. Well, Chad googled the wind direction to make sure that his neighbors didn't catch the

scent of human flesh cooking out in the open. And so, after Tylee's body was burned, most likely by Alex, they tossed her decapitated head into the grave first, then poured the still-burning remains into a green bucket. Then they were burning to the point where the bucket melted from the heat. The bucket was then placed on top of the head, and by 11.45 a.m., Alex was on his way to get lunch at Del Taco, having just buried his niece. And we want to thank Del Taco for sponsoring this episode. One of the, honestly, one of the finest post-family annihilation meals I've ever had is the sleeper del taco hamburger

Spot especially when you've made and emptied your own nest. Yeah, certainly a place you go to not be seen The better chain no it isn't yeah, it is Taco Bell's way better. No, no, no, no, no I put Del Taco over Taco Bell. Well both of you are fucking idiots. I mean, they're both really bad. And we have no business, like eating Del Taco or Taco Bell in LA is like eating fucking Pizza Hut in New York City. I don't know why we do it. Because sometimes you got to. Because sometimes you just crave in that ick. I want something nasty. I know but that's why I like Del Taco time little taco kind of gives it to you in a more soft. I miss taco Viva That was the old one. It was just in Florida. Oh, maybe what I loved it. Yeah taco bueno don't know it Texas Texas yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I have I went to in Queens was taco go fuck yourself

I went to in Queens was taco go fuck yourself To pay extra for them that spit on yeah, it was my favorite I love the beam guy love being called uncle big but every time I went in there So did they burn her head? Yeah, they burn the whole thing. I tried to burn tried to burn her head Yeah, he's so bad at it. Well, if he's a former crematorium guy, he should know that a backyard fire isn't nearly as hot as a crematorium. Well, he's a former gravedigger. Like I said, well, that's the thing, the crematorium and the gravedigger guys, they talk, but they don't always talk in shop.

Yeah. I don't think they're always talking shop. No, that's why it might be a ritual thing or it might just be like, it might just be, let's, I don't think they were trying To like fully cremate the body like I think what Chad Daybell knew is I think Chad Daybell knew about how much Decomposing flesh can smell like and how easily it can permeate up through the ground And so I think that what they were trying to do was burn the flesh away So it wouldn't smell also has anybody ever heard of and is, I feel like we could say this with a pure confidence, spontaneous tiley combustion.

Which is honestly what I was really hoping and I wish that she would have been diagnosed ahead of time because we would have gotten the antidote which is a bucket of water. We had the bucket. As Henry said last episode, these are Mormons trying to get away with murder, sheltered folk, and from what we've seen over the years, nothing gets you into trouble faster than over explaining. That, of course, is exactly what Chad did after the disposal of Tylee's body. After Alex left that day, Chad decided that he needed to explain to his wife what that burning flesh smell was, whether she noticed it or not.

So he sent this highly incriminating, unprompted text to ostensibly cover his tracks. And please, verbatim. Well, I've had an interesting morning. I felt I should burgle the limb debris by the fire pit before I got too soaked by the coming storms While I did so I spotted a big raccoon along the fence I hurried and got my gun and while he was still walking along I got close enough that one shot did the trick Yep, he's now in our pet cemetery fun times

sometimes Dead is better Did the trick. Yep. He's now in our pet cemetery fun times sometimes Dead is better You from the monsters I just want to come by and tell you not to go down that road I just want to come by and tell you not to go down that road Just go down go down Trying to kill your kid cuz there's a zombie don't bury him in the cemetery the Pet Sematary. I was like hmmm but then she comes back we can use her to fight against the devil. Which is not true because it's like a monkey spa arrangement isn't it? Yeah it is. It is. Remember what happened in Pet Sematary 2? We all love Clancy Brown. I do.

Oh yeah no brain no pain. Yeah. Oh god, I love that so much. So good. Now even though Tylee was only 16 years old, Laurie told everybody that she was now attending BYU Idaho. Most people accepted the explanation as to why Tylee wasn't around anymore. So when there weren't a lot of follow-up questions, it seemed like Laurie felt safe enough to move on to the task of getting rid of JJ. See, according to Melanie Gibb's boyfriend, Chad was telling Lori that JJ was now a zombie who loved Satan. Cool! I knew you'd say that. Yeah.

God, that would've been awesome! Lori said she believed Chad's claim because JJ's vocabulary was growing, and he was finally sitting still to watch TV, where he'd never been able to do that previously So as soon as things are going well, she's like Satan He's like kind of coming out of his shell and like growing like yeah Yeah, well speak honestly. I do think it's it is partially that it's coming down to oh, you're not supposed to get better JJ supposed to get worse JJ supposed to be. supposed to be super, super burdensome. Actually, him getting better is what's hastening his end.

Yeah. When things get good around here, we thank Satan. Every day. Now, it seems like there was a moment when Lori thought that she might not have to kill J.J. She told podcaster Melanie Gibb that she was going to hand over J.J. to his grandmother, Kay Woodcock. She was going to lie to Kay and tell her that she couldn't take care of JJ anymore because she had cancer. But I think at this moment, Lori got a little too wrapped up in her own story and decided that it was time to practice what she preached.

Or she was just lying to Melanie Gibb as she's lied to everybody. Indeed. See, from how Melanie Gibb put it, Lori was overanalyzing everything JJ did and the only answer Laurie seemed to come up with was zombie, zombie, zombie. Now in Laurie and Chad's world, leaving someone as a zombie was to doom that person's soul to an eternity in limbo. So just handing off JJ didn't work with the mythology the Daybell cult had built. So just two weeks after his stepsister, Tylee, was murdered, JJ had to go as well.

So on September 22nd, Melanie Gibb and her boyfriend came over to record a podcast with Lori, and they ended up staying the night. It just kind of reminds me of the time that Eddie and I, we guested on Dan Soder's podcast. Do you remember when we killed that boy? I mean, just to warm up. We just caused it.

We again, it's just so hard to start. It was in the morning. Yeah. The podcasting is so hard in the morning. Dan's still doing that, huh? Oh yeah. He's been doing that since like the old days back in 2010 when we were recording stuff together. The only thing that changed is all those dead, dead, dead, dead boys.

Well, he's getting the checks. Well, Gib and her boyfriend saw Alex take JJ up to bed before they went to sleep But when they were packing up to leave the next morning JJ was nowhere to be seen Lori quite nonchalantly told them that JJ was being a zombie the night before After they'd gone to bed and he climbed up on the fridge and smashed a picture Jesus Then he climbed onto the kitchen cabinets where he got stuck between the cabinets and the ceiling like a fucking cat. So, Laurie said she'd asked Alex to take JJ over to his place to calm him down. But as we now know, that was the night that Alex killed JJ Valo. With this one, however, we

absolutely know that Laurie Valalla was present during whatever it was that transpired. One thing we know from Melanie Gibb was that he went next door to his townhouse with a crying, screaming JJ, and when he came back, she was the last few people to see JJ, she watched JJ, quote unquote, asleep in Alex Cox's arms as he took him up the stairs. Yeah. Now again, we don't know exactly how the murder went down, but it is possible that it may have been a highly neglectful accident.

When it comes to Lori Vallow though, this really could go either way. What we do know is that Alex and Lori wrapped duct tape around JJ's head tightly to cover his mouth. By accident. You know what happened last time? Man, yesterday it was so hard. on JJ's head tightly to cover his mouth. Then they wrapped tape around his head several times from his chin to his forehead, basically

only giving him the ability to breathe out of his nose. JJ's feet and ankles were also bound in duct tape, as well as his wrists. In fact, Alex and Lori had wrapped duct tape all around his hands and arms all the way up to his elbows. Finally, though, Alex put a white plastic garbage bag over JJ's head and pulled the drawstring, which probably would ultimately kill them. But the reason why we know that Lori Vallow was at least present for the torturous death of her son is because Investigators found one of Lori's bleach blonde hairs

Stuck in one of the pieces of duct tape used to restrain JJ Now if you listen to the coroner talk about this one thing that is interesting is that in the toxicology report of JJ GHB was found in his liver now There are some people that believe like the coron coroner said, which I love, which includes my freedom, right? He says, they can't speculate, right? But I can. That's the best part.

I can speculate all day. I mean, if GHB is in the liver, it's in the liver. But they said it was a small amount. GHB, that's the roofie drug, right? That's the roofie drug. They said it was a small amount. So this is my take. What they found, a couple of things that were very interesting and sad on JJ's body.

There were scratch marks on his neck that obviously came from human nails. So what they think happened was, and this is my entire speculation, Alex takes him next door. They knew they were going to kill JJ at some point. They decided to do it this way. He had caffeine, chocolate in his system, GHB, and his own like, he had his medication and some other decomposition materials. I think that he was given a drink that had not the right amount of GHB in it to kill him entirely. I think that he expected JJ to just not wake up. And

then when he went him upstairs, JJ got groggy. And I think that what then happened first was the first layer of trying to suffocate him, which was putting duct tape on his mouth, which is where the first duct tape is seen. Then we see him struggling. So I think you see bruises all over JJ's arms and what she was very obviously pinned to the bed. Then you see struggle marks over his hands and in his neck in which you've seen that he is fighting what seems to be duct tape getting wrapped around his head. So I think that is where the defensive wounds

are coming from, was that him trying to, he died alive, he was alive while they did it, and then they put the bag over his head to complete it, and then in the process of getting the bag over his head, they had to tape his hands and his feet. And we know that Alex had GHB because he was an open mic comedian. He had, yes.

And that's how you get paid. And it went through those mic pulls. As far as why this happened, it very well could have been that JJ, and this could still work in with your theory, that JJ was having an episode of sorts. Alex took things too far in trying to calm him down, and JJ died. Well, they already had a plan to kill him, So I just feel like it's too coincidental. That's the thing once he'd wrapped him up It's possible that JJ died or Laurie just told him to finish the job even with the podcaster couple staying in her home that night But it is more likely that Laurie and Alex had fully planned to murder JJ on September 22nd

Even with the podcasters there if only so Laurie could prove how powerful and untouchable she was by this point or as a Witness or an alibi so they didn't do it. Oh very possible. Also. They weren't true crime podcasters If they were true crime podcasters, maybe this whole thing be a little bit different. Maybe it would be brought to you by Squarespace This murder is brought to you by Squarespace. This murder is brought to you by Squarespace? See the evidence for premeditation here is that Alex headed out to Chad Daybell's property the morning after the murder, just like he'd done with Tylee. Except this time, he carried JJ's seven-year-old corpse in a black plastic garbage bag.

Now smartphone data says that on the morning Alex disposed of JJ's body, he only spent 17 minutes on the northern edge of Chad Daybell's property, near Chad and Tammy's pet cemetery. But since Alex spent such little time on the property, it's likely that Chad had already dug the grave either the night before or that morning, and the directive had to be given in person because no text exists that could reasonably be linked to the body's disposal. So, all Alex had to do was throw the body in the hole, put three wooden panels and three heavy stones on top, then fill the small grave with dirt before once again leaving Chad's property. Yes, because I think that the process of cutting up Tylee and burning him was too much for them. Yeah. I think that they realized that when they in the middle

of it, which is a part of the reason why I think she was only half burned was because in the middle of the process, they're like, what are we doing? This is awful. Yeah. When did they move to Rexburg again? How long was Chad Daybell there? Chad Daybell had been there five years.

Something like that since 2018. Okay. Maybe, I guess maybe like a year and two years. Yeah, I guess he moved there in 2018. So yeah, maybe like two years. That's not long enough to have a pet cemetery. Exactly. I was trying to think.

Wow. Yeah. That's the pet cemetery thing always like irked me and I didn't know why. That's it! That's why! How many dogs did these people kill? Look, seriously, your first thought is, brand new house, new neighborhood, meeting the neighbors, first thing you say to your wife, So, where do we put the pet cemetery? You know, like, so we're already planning?

Yeah. That is really funny. Yeah, did they have a bunch of dogs and cats die in a fire or an explosion? Well, there was the one terrier group suicide we had, but that largely we felt it had to do with online bullying. That's right, and the donkey was a zombie. As far as what Lori told people about JJ, she for some reason had multiple stories that were all slightly different. And I never understand this with these people, why they have to tell different people different

stories when it's so much easier to have one simple story to stick to. That's really good advice if you're trying to kill. Yeah, we're gonna be given a lot of it today That's what always says it like look if you want to learn how to do something well Don't just look at the Masters look at the failures look at the failures Lori told his school that JJ had gone to Louisiana to stay with his grandparents But she told JJ's nanny the JJ had gone to Louisiana to stay with his grandparents, but she told JJ's nanny that JJ had gone to visit his grandmother in Hawaii. No fucking reason!

Yeah, JJ's living an amazing fig life. The explanation Lori had given people about Tylee, however, the one that she'd gone to BYU-Idaho, that was starting to wear thin. On September 24th, Tylee's older brother and Lori's first son, Colby Ryan, texted Tylee's phone to wish her a happy birthday. Obviously, Lori Ballow had been anticipating something like this because she'd kept Tylee's phone charged and ready to use since Tylee's murder. So when Colby texted Tylee's phone, Lori texted back,

pretending to be the dead daughter that she had killed. And this brings me to one of my most... one of my largest pet peeves in all of millennial-made content. Our feeble, sad attempt to write like teenagers and to speak like teenagers. Every single time I see a show that has been obviously written by 40- to 50-year-olds

with teenagers speaking, they sound really fucking stupid. And I know, I don't think that you need to have one pedophile and every staff that knows how to talk to kids Well, they did it was called the Disney Channel. Oh, yeah, that's right But again see how if you harness him Guidance if you harness him, sky's the limit. Hannah Montana. She's a gas.

That's Bad Linga. I was just making a... Oh, she's a gas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's the boss. Yeah, that's my new, that's the boss. She's the bee's knees. Yeah, yeah.

She's the wasp's ass. Now when Lori started texting as Tylee to Colby, Colby figured, this is kind of weird, can I give you a call? But Lori, texting as Tylee, wrote back that she was too tired to talk. And Lori didn't even bother to try and mimic Tylee's emoji-heavy texting style. Colby of course knew that something was up immediately, and did not, however, enter his mind that his mother had killed his sister who was now pretending to be her on the phone. And it would be a long time before Colby accepted that fact.

And that's why it shows that actually, in many ways, the powers, the superpowers of being bipolar, having OCD, that that's actually the first thought you would have. And that's actually why I'm stronger in many ways, my powerful, powerful paranoia. Are you my mom pretending to be my sister? Jackie loves it. Now, depending on your point of view, the fall of 2019 was either very good for Chad

Daybell or very bad. After years of declaring himself a prophet in public appearances and on podcasts, the LDS establishment, that's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they finally took notice and duly excommunicated Daybell from the Mormon Church. Flush! The first good thing they've done the whole fuckin' time. They don't, they did it for their own fucking, to save themselves or somebody they knew

was gonna be a liability. Yeah, they do it all the time, yeah. But that's the thing, they stripped Chad of his LDS membership, they banned him from entering Mormon. Yeah, they just it's but that's the thing they stripped Chad of his LDS membership They banned him from entering Mormon temples or partaking in the sacrament and that should have been a life-shaking moment for him But really all this meant was that Chad had nothing else to do but to retreat completely into his own little fantasy world And that's the big problem with this with the Mormon Church is that they have these people that are on the fringes They start saying all this crazy shit the Mormon Church says like hey

You can't be a part of our club anymore And so that only makes those fucking people double down on the crazy shit that they've been talking about It's time for me to go independent Free from all restraints fuck you FCC and, for a fringe figure like Chad Daybell, I would imagine that being excommunicated was a bit of a badge of honor, because Chad continued on his merry way with Lori and his other followers, even though it was obvious that everything was starting to fall apart. There's some information pointing to the fact that Chad was actually super bummed,

and that one of the things that he was trying to do, like truly, when I keep talking about this, this foiled a big plot that was coming from inside. This foiled the thing where they knew that they were positioning all of these guys to be the brand new prophet from the streets. Yeah, the neo-fundamentalist revolution. So I think in that way, that's also why they excommunicated him so quickly,

was because they needed to basically show Tom Harrison, you need to stop talking about this, but we won't punish you because we've decided you're important, but we gotta knock out all your little buddies. Same thing with fucking, what's his putz, with Tim Ballard. Yeah, especially the ones with bodies piling up. You know, but they Mormons they love blood It's basically we're gonna start your we see your coup We see it coming and we're gonna take out your guys before it even gets close

Yes Now for two people who are trying to get an entire town prep for the end times which was doing about nine months at this point Oh my god, where do we get the floats? Do it in about 9 months at this point. Oh my god, where do we get the floats? Where do we get floats? How do I get peanut butter? Why don't we do, how do we make, how do you make peanut butter?

Well, for people who were trying to get all this shit done, Chad and Lori spent an awful lot of time on their own personal romance. But more than anything, they spent a lot of time making sure they got paid. See, since Lori hadn't gotten any payout from Charles Valo's insurance policy because he'd switched the beneficiary to his sister Kay, Chad made sure they had a nest egg by

significantly increasing the life insurance policies he'd taken out on his wife Tammy. At the same time, Chad and Lori also made sure that Lori's niece, Melanie Boudreau, who had reconnected with Lori and gone all in on the cult, they made sure that she was still the beneficiary on her ex-husband's policy. Ex-husband because Chad and Lori had forced her to divorce him because he was a dark spirit. But once it was confirmed that Melanie Boudreaux

was indeed still the beneficiary, the ex-husband, Brandon Boudreaux, was clocked as a full zombie and was therefore put on Alex Cox's hit list. Got all that? Yeah, I got all of it. You know, I'm just bad at that. They know Alex Cox, but he has to go full fucking, what's his name, from gross point blank.

John Cusack? John Cusack. He's gotta go back in there. Right, cause now he's gotta get all in in his blacks and get ready for assassin mode. Yeah. Now, we know that Lori was involved in the plot to kill her niece's ex-husband, Brandon Boudreaux, because she visited a gun shop the day after JJ was killed and took photos of assault rifle ammunition boxes. It's believed that Lori took these pictures to show Alex what he needed to use to kill not only Brandon Boudreaux,

but Tammy Daybell as well, because both Tammy and Brandon had now been officially clocked as zombies, and both were heavily insured. As such, Chad was also laying the groundwork for Tammy's impending death by telling friends that she wasn't doing well, and that he wouldn't be surprised if she died in her sleep any day now any day We're all just on pins and needles about it She keeps accidentally covering herself in duct tape yourself in duct tape. I don't know how that happened. She just does that alligator death roll with the duct tape. But before Tammy got got, Chad and Laurie decided to take down Brandon Boudreaux first.

So on October 2nd, Alex stupidly drove Tylee's Jeep to Brandon Boudreaux's home early in the morning. A Jeep that Brandon knew. A vehicle that Brandon knew. Not said you're coming from Idaho to Arizona Bad gas mileage super bad gas The worst and yes, he made the trek all the way from Idaho all the way down to Gilbert, Arizona And that of course that's the same town that Alex had murdered Charles Vallow Gilbert Arizona was kind of like the first Rex Burke a lot of these people had moved to

Gilbert to be around Laurie and Charles and so on and so forth But I tell you what if I rent a car to go kill somebody else's family I'm getting the Toyota Corolla is that thing great gas mileage. Yeah last forever. You could drive it through a bank You could drive it through the White House comfy. It is just an incredible Tool and it's one of the most popular cars in America. It is. So they're all over the road. They're all over the road.

Yeah. Well, once Alex arrived in Brandon's neighborhood, he parked across the street from Brandon's house. He then got into the back seat and steadied his silenced rifle for the moment Brandon returned from the gym. He keeps reminding me, we brought this up the other day, Caddyshack 2, Dan Aykroyd.

Okay, Mr. Esther House. Yeah, yeah, like, he's got the blacks on you, like you can see him with the ghillie suit inside of the fucking hat. All right, going cousin hunting. He does, Dan Aykroyd in that movie does seem to be on the edge of an orgasm the entire time. Very strange.

It's a very strange film. I think it's better than we remember. It is. I need to go back and see and watch it. Yeah. It's about miniature golf, right? Oh yeah. Jackie Mason, Jackie Mason, Randy Quaid is great.

He's wonderful in it. Yeah. I'll go try to golf with that jammed up your crack. That's another line from Daddy'syshack 2. We watched it endlessly as kids. Once Brandon pulled up, Alex fired a shot, and with a whoop, Brandon felt a bullet whiz by his head. Immediately recognizing that someone was shooting him, Brandon hit the accelerator and drove off, while Alex fled in the opposite direction.

Exit and stage left. Brandon hit the accelerator and drove off, while Alex fled in the opposite direction. Terrified, Brandon reported the attempted assassination and hid out at his parents' place with his kids, having narrowly escaped the fantasy world created by Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow. Tammy Daybell, however, would not escape Chad and Lori, and from the timeline and Lori's digital trail, we know that Tammy's death was planned far in advance See on the same day that Alex Cox tried to shoot Brandon Boudreaux Laurie ordered two Extremely tacky wedding rings off Amazon Prime. Yep using her ex-husband's account

romantic Julie's engagement ringer Costco, so I can't really talk. You can good jewelry. Well, you went to the store. You went to the store. I did. Good jewelry. I like Costco. Yeah. And when I had to pick it up, the guy in front of me at a giant jar of peanut butter, he was returning. I'm like, what am I doing here? At least you didn't bring her a big giant jar of peanut butter. You keep digging in there. You might find something you like. Oh yeah. Now Lori would later say that she'd bought these rings

for the upcoming wedding between Alex Cox and cult member Zulema Pastenis. But that doesn't explain the collared shirt and linen slacks that she also bought on her dead husband's Amazon account in her dumpy groom to be's sizes. Do they get extra Fupa length? Is that like a thing that you can get? Can you get big fupa pants? On Amazon Prime you can. Oh wow. Amazon Prime's great.

You know, if I buy my linen, I go to quints, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so much ad-plated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dress like a zombie-killing prince when you're in your quints. They're gonna love this. They're gonna love this. It's a free one! It is! But these clothes, of course, would be the same that Chad would wear during his and Lori's impending nuptials. So the whole excuse of I bought the rings for Alex and Zilema does not hold.

Three days after Lori ordered the rings, Chad sent her a text saying that he had big news about Tammy after getting no reply Chad sent another text Explaining the big news because he obviously couldn't wait to tell Lori Here's that text the short version is That she has been switched Tammy's in limbo and level 3 demonic entity named Viola is in her body It happened about 10 p.m. and was done by Tammy's sister that I always knew was three dark. But it turns out she is multiple creation. Can you believe it?

Not fully sure of the timing for her removal, but once her actions verify the differences, I don't want to wait. Basically telling him time to kill Tammy. It's gonna kill Tammy. Gonna kill that Tammy. Do you know what multiple creation means multiple? She is a that I know you don't know Do with demonic entities and then she's not because there's some that are Human and some that aren't there's a whole extended Lord Fucking dead yeah, I did actually I struggled quite a bit on this episode with like how much of the Lord

Put in and how much more you don't need to know anymore You really don't you've not you know everything you need to know anymore. You really don't. You really don't. You know everything you need to know. There is a whole fucking, there is a lower layer to this fucking shit. Oh yeah. That is like, it's so deep and it's so stupid and it's so confusing. And I've read all of it. Yeah. I've gone through all of it and it's not, it hasn't helped me. Hasn't helped me as a person.

Hasn't helped me as a comedian. Hasn't helped me as a podcaster. Well it's nonsense. It's just, it is, but I also, you hasn't helped me as a podcaster. It's nonsense. It's just, it is, but I also, you know I like nonsense, but it's not even good nonsense. But Tammy really, I wonder where she was at during this because all of this was happening while she was alive. The kids get killed, you know, all of this is going on, and she is just kind of in her

own little world. Where she's going about her day. Yeah. She has no idea that this is coming for her. She her looking at her big dumpy husband. He's just going Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I like I'm glad that ex Tina turn around on that one and she's just like texting going like oh nothing Well, if you look at it from her perspective, you know at this point, you know, her husband has been excommunicated from the church. They've been in their entire lives. Like they're, but they're both like, I would imagine life for Tammy right now is highly

stressful. Well, she's also, she is, she is mostly a true believer. Yeah. And then we also wonder whether or not, am I, one of my big concepts is that he tried to get her to be a plural wife. Maybe. And she wasn't super into it. Do you think, does she know that Lori exists?

Yeah. Yeah, they went to see, she went to at least one conference with Chad. She knows Lori exists, cause she knows that he guests on her podcast. The podcast, yeah. And they know her in terms of that way, because she became this sort of very,

you can't be more minor of a presenter than she was, and that's how she got known. Yeah, but she definitely doesn't know that they're texting, that they've been texting every day for, at this point, a year. Yeah, that they made forehead sex. She has no idea that they made forehead sex. Well, four days after Chad sent the text

about Tammy being switched, he gave Alex Cox the go-ahead to carry out Tammy's assassination. As Tammy was unloading groceries from her car in front of her and Chad's home, Alex Cox It's the same, just him again, fully killing, full killing suit in the middle of the fucking Salt Lake City gated community. This isn't Salt Lake City, this is Rexburg, Idaho. Still, it's just like a gated community and him just going like, gotta be very quiet.

Can we get this done soon? I got a mic I gotta hit. Fuck, I never will be on Killtonium. If I don't hit the first one, I won't be able to get to the second one. At first, Tammy thought that Alex was holding a paintball gun, but when he fired several shots it became obvious that it was an actual rifle, albeit silenced. But as it turned out, Alex Cox was a very bad shot, and he missed Tammy just like he missed Brandon.

Tammy screamed, Alex ran away, and Tammy called the police soon after. The police, however, decided to seize on Tammy's initial impression that the assailant was using a paintball gun, and therefore dismissed the whole thing as a prank. Literally just glazed over it because, and I do think it's just because Tammy,

I know that they have seen guns, right? Like this is a Mormon like family. They've seen guns. And they're in a rural community, a fundamentalist Mormon community. They've definitely seen guns. I think the only thing that would have fooled her about is the fact that it was an automatic rifle or was something that looked that didn't look like something that she was used to seeing. And it had a big silencer on it.

Yeah. What did there be bullet holes or at least? Paint well, it was well, that's the that is the thing. Yeah, there would be paint I did ask I did think about that where's the paint but it is, you know, it wasn't a gated community Like it was a rural community like like I I know these places well where you get like just outside of town and you know these where you get like just outside of town and you know these Properties are large. They're very they're like a few acres and each house is pretty far away from each other So, you know you can fire a bullet and it's not really gonna hit anything or it's not gonna hit anything Close and these cops aren't gonna go off into the fucking you know

They're not gonna go out into the the woods to see if there's any like bullet holes These motherfuckers have nothing else going on. It's Rexburg, Idaho. If there's, but that's the thing, that's if there's woods, there might be nothing. Like there might be nothing beyond it and there might be nothing to see. And they're also don't believe it's bullets or an actual gun because they've never seen anyone shoot a gun at someone properly. And again, and again, and again, violent crime. Yeah, that's the thing.

It's the most likely explanation. Occam's razor. Every cop is supposed to go off of like, what is the most likely explanation here? And in Brexburg, Idaho, the most likely explanation is some shit head kid with a paintball gun. Not a fucking assassin for a cult. Uh, well that's where they were wrong. Yeah. But we know for a fact that Laurie and Chad ordered this hit, because later that night, Zalema Pastennis was hanging out with Laurie when Alex called.

Zalema heard Laurie tell Alex over the phone that he was an idiot who can't do anything right by himself. Yeah, she sounded like a fucking cartoon villain. Yeah! You can't do anything right by yourself, snaggletehr! What is the point of having henchmen if you keep bungling it up, oh Batman! Surrounded by incompetent fools! Dulema, of course, took that to be an admonishment for botching the assassination, but only later, because the Dulema...

Poor poor. Stupid stupid Zulema. The way that I would describe Zulema is that Zulema doesn't... I don't think Zulema really knows that there's anything going on at this point. She doesn't think about the murders or anything like that. It's only after everything kind of comes back that she goes, oh, that makes sense now. Yes, I remember Laurie very angry. She yelled. She said mean words like, you're stupid and you're bad at it.

And it was just, what a terrible call. Like the way she's talking about it, because she called the man stupid on the phone. She was just like, oh no. But in the end, Chad Daybell decided to go a different route in murdering his wife. Instead of an assassination, he and Alex decided to go with a good old fashioned suffocation in the middle of the night. About ten days after Alex's attempt on Tammy Daybell's life, Chad called 911 and said that his wife had gone to sleep with a bad cough.

Chad had thereafter found her dead with so-called pink foam coming out of her mouth. The county coroner, however, felt that there was no reason to look into her death at all. So he ruled the causes as natural and immediately sent the body to a funeral home because Chad specifically said he did not want an autopsy. Oh, yeah cremation you fucking idiot Sorry Exactly no, it's he we know that she was murdered They originally said that it was accidental and it's just another fucking example of they just take the husband's word for it Yeah

They mostly take the information that's there and you have Chad describing some long thing And you've got I guess it's I don't know how many bodies build up in the morgue in Rexburg But it's like I guess you got to move it along Mm-hmm. It's like if someone reports an attempted murder Then ten days later, they're dead Maybe look into it They're dead. Maybe look into it. One was a prank and a ten-point was a cough.

You don't understand, Eddie. That if pranks and coughs can't run the world. That is true. They really can't. If I let pranks and coughs run my life... His whole life would be fucking shattered. ...it'd fall apart, yeah. Fly from your grave. From the boogie down streets of Queens

to a pile of beans, a new cock of piping hot, Polish-Italian Java, last podcast on the left, and Spring Hill Jack coffee on rising from the rubble, with the new brew on. Butterfly dudes, blue-eye blend, nothing to do with any moth-based entity, don't even think about it. This is a Butterfly Dude. Don't mind the blue eyes. He's just Caucasian. Our new proprietary roast might seem eerily similar,

but don't let your tongue deceive you. It's a Butterfly Dude roast. This is the Butterfly Dude's Blue-Eye Blend. Entirely delicious and not just the same beans. Butterfly Dude's Blue-Eye Blend. From the cocoon to your room. Now as far as what Chad told Tammy's family, he said that she'd been sick and had been having coughing fits as of late, which her family found hard to believe because she'd been

in perfect health when they saw her just two weeks earlier. Chad, however, stonewalled everyone again and again and even made a tacky and oddly detached Facebook post announcing her death. It read, quote, I am saddened to share that my beautiful, talented wife, Tammy, passed away early this morning in her sleep. It is a shock to all of us. She was so beautiful in every way. We are still working out the details, but we plan to hold a viewing Monday evening

in Springville, Utah, then hold the funeral and burial there on Tuesday. We are overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support. Thank you so much! It's the thank you so much. Thank you so much! He really is a bad writer. Yeah.

Think about this, he can't even write a moving post about his dead wife. Yeah, no, yes, exactly, yeah, he's supposed to be, he's written like novel after novel. Beautiful and talented. Like she's Vanna White. You know what I mean? Like, who describes their wife as beautiful and talented? What does that mean? Yeah, he used the word beautiful twice in three sentences.

Couldn't even be bothered to look up the thesaurus. You know what it was? Is that he wanted to make sure to everyone know, being like, no matter what woman I roll in here with three days from now, just know for a fact that I thought Tammy was beautiful. Yeah. And by the way, she was buried in the same cemetery where they used, no, not the pets. No, was buried in the same cemetery where they they they used no not the pets

Thousand pets that we murdered Parakeet she crushed with the car accidentally No, it was a cemetery in Utah where they hadn't met but she'd gotten him a job after they started dating they worked there together For a long time. Oh, I remember. Same joint? Yeah, same joint, yeah. She was the gravedigger's receptionist, which is gonna be my new Mormon pornography novel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the astronaut's wife, but the gravedigger's receptionist. And they get so many calls, crazy. Yeah. But, you know, Laurie and Chad, you joke about it being like like whoever I show up with four days from now. Two weeks after Tammy died, Chad and Lori flew to Hawaii and paid $600 for a beach

wedding complete with a photo shoot. When they got back, Chad even had the nerve to call one of Tammy's sisters to tell her that he'd gotten remarried in Hawaii. This is two weeks after he buried Tammy. Strangely though, Chad described Lori as an empty nester whose daughter had died a year previous. Again, Chad's given details he doesn't have to give, and he's lying for no reason, and

he raised suspicion as a result. Also, if they don't give a fuck about the law Why are they getting married on paper? Yeah No, yeah, I think it's cuz it's just it's it's again Weirdly, this is the Mormon thing you're stuck in this sense of appearances and this need for appearances to be away So they still, in this delusional state, they want it to be as real as they can make it. So that when it does happen, it's all been legally, like, you know, like we're legally married or what, you know, like they can do, they can have a sense of kind of, I don't

know, normalcy. I don't think they made one correct choice to get away with it. No. No. They really didn't. It is insane. Confidence is too good sometimes. It really is.

Well, Chad and Lori's insistence that they go full steam ahead, it wasn't really working in the real world, because the disappearances of Tylee and JJ were finally starting to catch up to Lori Vallow. In late November 2019, JJ's grandmother, Kaye Woodcock, finally called police down in Gilbert, Arizona to tell them that JJ had been missing for three months, and that his adopted mother, Lori Vallow, wasn't responding to texts or calls. Kaye had called Arizona police because she didn't know Lori had moved to Idaho, but unbeknownst to Kaye, those same cops were already investigating Laurie for the attempted murder of Brandon Boudreau

because Brandon had absolutely recognized the green Jeep that his attempted assassin drove as the same one that belonged to Laurie's daughter. Additionally, those same cops in Arizona were also revisiting the death of Laurie's fourth husband, Charles Vallow. So one of the Arizona detectives agreed to drive to Idaho to do a welfare check on JJ. And the only way that visit could have gone worse for Lori and Chad is if JJ's dead body

had fallen from the fucking ceiling in the middle of the interview. It is just wild how badly they will continue to fuck this up. So when detectives knocked on the door of Lori's townhouse, it was actually Alex Cox and Chad Daybell who answered, and the last person you wanted talking to the cops were these two knuckleheads. Where Lori was always calm and collected with the police, Alex and especially Chad melted under the slightest pressure. For example, when detectives asked if JJ was home,

Alex and Chad just looked at each other and said nothing. Dunno. They didn't even say dunno! They were just like, You know when you can see here the eyeballs move? When the detective asked again, Alex blurted out that JJ was in Louisiana visiting his grandmother. He's in Mardi Gras! He loved Mardi Gras. And when the detective asked again, Alex blurted out that JJ was in Louisiana visiting his grandmother.

Trust me, this guy's Marty Krop. Yeah, he loves Marty Krop. He used to go down there. He used to go down there. He's one of my favorites. He loves absinthe. Yeah, yeah. The grandmother, Kay Woodcock, and the detective told Alex that he knew this wasn't true because

guess what? Kay Woodcock was the one who asked, who called and asked for the welfare check. So she's not there. This can't be real then. So the detective asked for Lori's phone number. Alex stupidly said he didn't have his sister's phone number while he was standing in his sister's house. Yeah, I got her number.

Yeah, absolutely. It's five, five, five, seven, two, eight, zero, zero, eight. Forgot the niner. Five. Because I remember remember remember because the numbers spells boobs but if you wanted to talk to Lori she was in the townhouse next door so he just immediately I don't know her number but she's next door you can talk to her there she heard it through the wall yeah well one officer went to talk to, Chad panicked and tried fleeing the interview in his Chevy Equinox.

To the Mormon Mobile! Let's go! The detectives of course stopped him and asked him again about JJ. Chad said the last time he saw JJ was in October, and he didn't have Lori's number either, in case the cop was wondering. Because he didn't know her that well I have never had forehead sex with this woman. I've never tried to lead the 144,000

This very world that you stand upon with this woman. I have no idea who JJ is old friend of mine I guess Because the thing is that he's acting like JJ's like a guy he used to know. Yeah, nodding like a seven-year-old disabled boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're literally like, JJ, well, as I heard it from JJ, he was, I think he was on his way to St. Paul for a conference. Or is he backpacking across Europe? Ahhhhhhh! He's in a backpack in Europe

Well, you're Chad's claim that he didn't know Lori that well was another easily disproved live because the cops knew that Chad and Lori Had just gotten married in Hawaii. It's been honestly was a very short kind of elopement. Really? It's only been a year Is how long does it take to really know someone yeah, you don't know anybody, you can live with them forever. Finally though, the cops located Lori herself in one of the townhouses, and she tried using the same charm that had worked on cops her entire life. But the veil was starting to slip. Lori tried the brick wall of rambling tactic. This is one of Lori's go-tos. She went on and on about JJ's autism, how she was such a good person for raising him,

how horrible Kaye Woodcock was, and how Lori should have been the person to receive the insurance benefits for her husband's death. In fact, she's gonna sue Kaye Woodcock. It's just moving from subject to subject to subject, so the cops can't ever focus on what they're actually there for. Yeah, and when they're there investigating a missing person, don't bring up another random death you're involved in. Don't bring up how you're upset about it. Don't ask, don't give the cops things to ask you questions about. And finally, Laurie started talking about how her brother Adam, AKA Bo Nasty, he was

trying to kill her for insurance money. She's basically deflecting all the blame awayasty, he was trying to kill her for her insurance money. She's basically deflecting all the blame away from herself while simultaneously trying to play on the sympathies of the police. But when the cops didn't buy it and just kept pressing her to just tell him where JJ was, she improvised and said that JJ and Tylee were both at the movies with her friend, podcaster Melanie Gibb. They're all seeing Frozen too. Ironically, which it is about trying to find lost family members.

Really? Yeah. Really. I didn't know that. Wow. And were they found buried in the pet cemetery? They were in the annihilation cloud never. Okay, sure.

Well, Laurie said- I blame Olaf! You just want to blame Josh Gad for anything. Josh Gad, I'm coming for your sins! Josh Gad, I won't rest until I see you crucified. If I get you, you're gonna accidentally fall down in some duct tape. Really, honestly, Josh Gad, I mean you norm. Yeah. Well, Laurie said- I mean you know arm. Yeah.

Well, Laurie, I'm glad you kind of turned the corner on that one. He used to have a lot of animosity. I'm fine with Josh Gad. He's allowed. I like him. He's fine. You know, it's because you have a nice life now. I do.

I think that's one of the comes down to it. You don't have to hate all the fat comedians anymore. Yeah. Because you used to have like a kind of a blanket hatred. Yeah, I did. But now it's different. Yeah. That guy from lost though. He's going down early. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no, no. He beat me out to play the mute hermit minor in the Adam Sandler, ridiculous six vehicle that was supposed to be me. I was the

second choice in that. I was supposed to be mine. I was the second choice in that Yeah, I was supposed to be mine I was supposed to be hanging out in New Mexico with fucking at all the Sandman's crew Yeah, and he beat me out for a lesbian vampire movie that never even came out I'm gonna go ahead and defend Jorge Garcia right now. I think he's delightful. I'm a massive. I'm a massive lost fan I met him once at an event in Brooklyn and he was extraordinarily kind. Jorge Garcia, I mean you no harm. Well Laurie told the cops that she was going to have Melanie call them as soon as they got back from watching Frozen 2.

But just after the cops left, Chad returned to come up with a plan, albeit a very bad one. He called Melanie Gibb and told her that the police would be calling about JJ, but she must not, under any circumstances, pick up. That's it. Laurie, the- We're covered. There's one thing an amateur podcast doesn't like to do, and that's talk.

There's no way she would want to get involved in something spicier like this. If you get a call from a number 911, don't pick it up. Send it to voice mail. Lori then called Melanie Gibb herself and asked Melanie for a recent photo of, quote, children running around. Kim later testified that Lori had implied that she wanted Melanie to make it look like the photo was of JJ, but Melanie declined to participate. Now the cascade of lies that came from the mouths of Lori, Chad, and Alex was enough

justification for search warrants on all the townhouses rented by cult members. But when the cops returned for the search the next day, they found that Lori and Alex were both gone, and all of Lori's clothes were missing. As it turned out, though, Chad, Lori... I hid them. Naked sister time. Ugh.

Naked sister time. Ding, ding, ding, ding. He does like it. We know he likes it. He loves it. He loves it. We know he likes it. He loves it. He loves it. We know he loves it. Well, as it turned out, Chad, Lori, and Alex were not necessarily on the run. Instead, they moved on to the next phase of solidifying their cult.

See, after spending Thanksgiving at Knott's Berry Farm... Classless. Fried chicken for Thanksgiving? They serve a Thanksgiving buffet. You've been. I saw it advertised. Well after that little vacation Chad and Lori joined their most ardent members in Las Vegas for a flurry of cult weddings Remember last episode I said they made all the people divorce and then they made all the people marry

They hadn't made them marry just yet. They just paired them together and said you're going to marry this person You're going this marry this person. This is your soulmate. This is the point where they actually went through with it. Giggity gig, more like, whole mate. I'll save it, let me write that down. Can anybody have a notepad? Anybody have a notepad, I can write that down.

I can't write that down, I can't lose it. Whole mate, whole mate, whole mate, whole mate. I can't lose it, I can't lose it. Hey Alex, you wanna go to Del Taco? Yes, absolutely, of course you do. Fuck, what was the joke? So two days after the cops executed a search warrant on the Colts townhouse enclave, Chad and Laurie met Alex Cox, Zulema P Alex was following orders from Chad and Lori to marry Zulema because they told them that that's just what was supposed to happen. And Zulema got to marry the

cult's protector, which upped her status just the slightest bit. I love how your breath smells like beer and I love that even though you do not drink you smell like beer Your grubby beaver like hands and I love your small pumpkin like smile I Love when you call me Laurie Fucking hate that same so much Me too. Oh Zulema, it's time for my anointing. I fucking hate that. I just hate him so much. I'm dead so it's okay.

But then there was the matter of who was going to marry Laurie's niece, Melanie Boudreau. See after her divorce from Brandon, Melanie Boudreau had been trolling the Mormon dating sites and she'd found a poor sap named Ian Polowski. As far as I know, Ian and Melanie had never met in person prior to their Vegas wedding, but Melanie was reasonably cute, and Ian was very much into her Mormon Doomsday Prepper vibe. Wow, I'm looking at it.

I did not know there was LDSSingles.com. Of course there is! There's the dating site for everybody Wow There's a dating site for people who work in the funeral business see that's cool. That's fun But I'm just saying there's sites for everyone Wow The sites for balloon fetishes. Oh really yeah Meet up somebody else who likes I'm gonna look at horny with balloons Meet up somebody else who likes I'm gonna look at horny with balloons Lunars calm

Yeah, it's a dating app for people that I like to have sex with balloons Yeah, is it just pictures of balloons that they can have sex? You know, I think that is that is interesting because it should just be the Party City website. Well after the ceremony between Melanie and this new guy, Ian Polowski, who, just keep in mind, this guy just showed up. Yeah, he's fresh. He's brand new. Brand new. He don't know nobody. He doesn't know anything about any of this. He just thinks he found this cute woman on a Mormon single site and he got lucky. And they have multiple cult members back in Rexburg that could probably pick for this,

right? Yeah. Well, no, no, no, no, because I think they needed new blood. I think they started getting a little too incestuous. A lot of people were yapping. Yeah. Well, after the ceremony, Melanie revealed everything to Ian about the cult that he was now unwillingly a part of, from the End Times 144,000 prophecy to the Light Dark Scale,

as well as the ever-present threat presented by zombies possessed by demon slugs. But instead of bolting, Ian basically said, fuck yeah, sounds cool. Of course, because right before that conversation, he was some dumbass, boring Mormon. Yeah. He described Melanie's lowdown of the entire Daybell mythology as fun and exciting, saying that it felt as if they'd ripped their entire worldview from a Dungeons and Dragons manual. It's weird that you'd say that. It's almost like, that's exactly what they did.

It's a direct quote from Ian. Yeah. It's almost like, that's exactly what they did. It's a direct quote from Ian. It's amazing, it's like a live RPG, but instead of rolling dice, you wrap a child's head in duct tape. But after Melanie Boudreaux was done with the world building, things turned very dark very quickly when she got into the actual plot. She told Ian that her ex-husband Brandon was possessed by a demon. And that Alex Cox, the man Ian had just met, was actively trying to murder Brandon as a consequence. Our witness to the wedding.

Melanie Boudreau, oh that guy! That guy! With the pumpkin smile! Yeah! The grubby beaver hands! Alright fine, I don't like him anyway. He's a funny guy. He was super funny He the first thing he asked me right as soon as I walked into I knew I was gonna like him because he was Just like hey, tell me something. He's like hey. Do you like do you ever fuck a black check? I'm just like that. I was like no actually I've never touched a breast But if I but I could see you how that angle it's funny to ask people You ever been on lunar stock? Well, Melanie Boudreaux then went even further telling Ian that Lori Valos kids Tylee and JJ

They'd also become zombies and Melanie believed that Alex had taken care of them as well In other words what started off as a fun fun larp for Ian Pylowski very quickly turned into a terrifying nightmare. That fun larp lasted for literally 25 minutes. And then he hears this like, oh dearie me, oh it just, well, better get to fucking. That's what I was saying. I was Ian. That first thing I'd be like, well, let me fuck before I get shot in the head. So after hearing the plot, Ian Pylowski texted his ex-wife, whom I assume he still had a good relationship with, and he asked her to Google Melanie Boudreau because Ian couldn't

do it himself in Melanie's presence. That was an excuse to reach out. Yeah, and Ian's ex-wife did so, and soon called Melanie's ex-husband Brandon Boudreau after easily finding his phone number. Eager to talk, Brandon told Ian's ex-wife all about the Daybell cult's attempt to kill him because they said he was a zombie, although it was really for the insurance money. Then he told her about their already successful murder of Charles Vallow for the same reasons. What?

Oh, what? Ian's ex-wife then called the police, marking yet another person who'd contacted the authorities, asking for someone to look into the activities of Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow. But you know, I would see Chad Daybell and be like, this guy ain't killing nobody. That's exactly what happened again and again. Yeah. Ian Pulaski, however, was terrified as to what would happen to him if he pulled out of the marriage So he like just started this

So he stayed with it and soon moved to Rexburg along with everyone else He did continue communicating with his ex-wife But he hid the texts because he believed that the cult ever found out he'd be labeled a zombie and killed as well but Ian was able to stand just He'd be labeled a zombie and killed as well. But Ian was able to stand just Six days of marriage to Melanie Boudreaux and she's spending those six days like making him sit down and listen to Pat Podcasts and a vowel podcast. Yeah, you gotta get him cat-caught up. Yeah, I get ready for the Lord He's just sitting there sweating All I do never should have agreed to go to that open

I never should have agreed to go to that open mic. He and his ex-wife, after six days, they contacted the detectives from Arizona who were already investigating Lori for both the attempted murder of Brandon Boudreau and the disappearance of her children. They put Ian in contact with the FBI and after Ian spilled everything he knew, he became an informant, pumping Melanie for any information she might have. You got to do the flip. You got to do that number one flip.

Chad and Lori meanwhile seem to have completely given up on the idea of a new Jerusalem. Now that their spouses were dead and Lori's kids were out of the way, they used the near half million dollars Chad had received from Tammy's life insurance policy to rent a house in Hawaii in December of 2019 they all but abandoned Rexburg fucking right out the door out the door And that's great advice for anyone who lives in Rexburg. Get out of there Now this blase behavior about the impending apocalypse was strange to the faithful followers Chad had left behind, and all the people who'd followed Chad without question were at long last starting to examine everything with a closer lens.

What with the many deaths and disappearances surrounding Chad and Lori, it began to finally dawn on podcaster Melanie Gibb and her Pat boyfriend that they very well might become accessories to murder if they weren't careful. Now there's a lot of things as a woman I'll accept. I'll accept friends that kill their children for the sake of the Lord. I'll accept people who kill their husbands, people kill their boyfriends, but I will not accept responsibility. So to cover their asses, Melanie Gibb and her boyfriend began recording every phone call they had with Chad and Lori, hoping that at some point their former spiritual gurus would incriminate themselves. This is a point I want to give to the police.

There are police officers that listen to this show. It's actually kind of funny in that way. But for those of you just know that you're going to have someone wear a wire. I think every police station should also have an acting coach. Yes. Yeah. I can teach people how to not act like they're on a wire. Because if you listen to the phone call Melanie gave me to Chad and Lori, they're like, you're

on a wire Melanie. You're recording this call right now. Aren't you Melanie? And she's like, no, no, I'm not. I'm simply curious about what happened to JJ and they're all like tell the police that we don't know where he is Yeah, well they she wasn't doing it for the police at this moment. She's just doing it for herself Yeah, because guess what she was really trying to do Marcus get material for her podcast See I was gonna give her the benefit of doubt and say not go to prison. No

No, I feel like that was the second. During a call on December 8th, 2019, Lori insisted over and over again that JJ was fine and safe, but she refused to elaborate. That's what that was her line over and over again. He's fine and he's safe. I don't need to tell you where he is. Chad also denied ever saying that Tammy's death was foretold, even though he'd related this prophecy to podcaster Melanie Gibb perhaps half a dozen times, if not more. I met a spiritual death like a transformation, like she was gonna

become Islamic. Once Chad and Laurie began to realize that their podcast buddies were no longer on their side, Lori began claiming that Melanie Gibb had been influenced by dark spirits. Oh yeah she did the fucking hellish rebuke. Like as soon as she was she was like she said sounds like cuz Melanie said to Lori it sounds like you've been lied to by the devil and if you eyes clouded by the devil and Lori goes sounds like somebody else has been charmed by the devil like she goes, sounds like somebody else has been charmed by the devil. Like she says the same thing back.

Yeah. And Melanie gives like, I can't do anything to counter that. Well actually she did have something to counter that. She went nuclear and she called Chad and Lori the Mormon equivalent of the Antichrist known as Corywhore. More like Loriwhore. Yeah thank you! Pew pew pew pew pew Pew pew pew pew pew

And you can get your discounts on quints using the code Loriwhore90 Now once the Antichrist came into the conversation, Lori hung up and never spoke to Melanie Gibb again. Gibb could have therefore easily ended up on the cult's hitlist as another zombie. But the noose was tightening around Chad and Lori's collective neck more and more with each passing day. See, Gibb got proactive and she took the recording of her last phone call with Chad and Lori to the police. And based off Chad's suspicious comments concerning the subject of his wife and her foretold death,

police were able to get a court order to exhume Tammy Daybell's body for a full autopsy, done entirely clandestinely and without Chad's knowledge. Very quickly, investigators noticed that there were several blunt injuries consistent with being restrained and or suffocated to death, But to this day, we have no idea if it was Chad, Alex Cox, or both of them who directly participated in Tammy's murder. Tammy's body was in, out, and back in the ground in just eight hours.

But by the end of it, investigators had determined that Tammy's death was indeed suspicious, although they did not yet have enough evidence to arrest Chad for her death. Cremation. Cremate your loved ones when you kill them. He tried. He tried, Eddie. He tried with one. Not with Tammy. Well, the other two. Tammy, he could have just, they said, okay, no autopsy. They'd say, great, cremate her. It's so easy. There's just the smallest part of me that thought she might want to see me be the boss and wake up.

Now when it comes to the murders, both successful and attempted, we have evidence that Chad, Lori, and Lori's brother Alex, they were involved in every one of them, but were totally in the dark as far as the hows go. The reason why we don't know much is because Alex Cox, the assassin who tied it all together and probably carried out each murder with his own hands, he did not survive past December 2019. And it's possible, however unlikely, that Chad and Lori might have had something to do with it. I don't know how they didn't. If it was just natural causes. There is.

How? I'll get into it. It's such a coincidence. It is a coincidence. If it was just natural causes there is how There's been no coincidences It is a horrific sticking point it really is this thing where same because I refuse to believe it was natural causes But we just don't have the proof. Yeah, we don't well, that's the thing It might be natural causes it might not be natural causes, but we just don't have the proof. Yeah, we don't. Well, that's the thing. It might be natural causes. It might not be natural causes, but we don't have any proof that Chad and Lori specifically were involved in it. Let's get into it. Please. See, after the marriage to Zalema in Las Vegas, Alex moved back to Gilbert,

Arizona, where Zalema still lived, because Chad and Lori were already on their way to living their true fantasy life in Hawaii. Oh, yeah, they took the check in peace. Yeah. So like, they're like, I thought we were all going. I thought that Rexburg was about to pop off. Yeah. But you guys just jump ship and are literally like the photos and video of Chad and Lori

having the vacation of their lives in Hawaii. Love and life. They stayed there in a resort for a month. They blew a bunch of money. She's reading visions of glory by the pool How disgusting? So they fucking left and so now he's like I you could see this moment being like oh Yeah, and they're like good go to what about me? Yeah, go with your wife. Go where Gilbert Gilbert?

Go to lame. Oh, you're a beloved Gilbert. Yeah, you know know and then he goes and Zulema can be like, thank you Alex. I'm so happy when you take the gum out when we kiss So happy that you decided to change your underwear But according to Zulema Alex spent a lot of time after the wedding talking about how Chad and Lori were setting him up to be the fall guy for some mysterious thing Chad and Lori had been doing. Have you heard of Moroni coin?

You're trying to set me up with a rug pull. Before Zalama could find out what this mysterious thing was, Alex was found dead on the floor of his and Zalama's bathroom, covered in feces. Not feces. with pink foam coming from his mouth. Pink foam! With this pink foam, quite similar to the pink foam Chad described coming out of his wife Tammy's mouth the night she died.

Do we know like how, if you die, what would produce pink foam coming out of your mouth? Poison. Yeah. Yep. Possibly. Yeah. Did they give him an autopsy? Yes, they did No poison. No poison. No none whatsoever. We yeah. Yeah, we don't know we it's very strange well just a few days before his death Alex had driven to Mexico to score some illegal prescription drugs and

Investigators believe that Alex used these drugs to die by suicide to protect Laurie and Chad Others believe that Alex used these drugs to die by suicide to protect Laurie and Chad. Others however believe that Alex may have come to the realization that he'd murdered his brother-in-law, his niece, and his nephew, also his sister could be free to marry some doughy asshole, and he couldn't live with what he'd done. It should have been me. Oh how I wish I was on that beach getting sand on my balls Making sex to my sister. Yeah, and that's just stuck in old New Jerusalem Sucking on the face of dumb stupid Zulim and my sister sitting there in Hawaii

Finger banged by the Lord loving New Jerusalem, too. So now So now that he's dead, we're done with this, right? No! Fuck Alex! Fuck Alex! But after a thorough autopsy, it was ruled that Alex died from blood clots and high blood pressure, hereditary conditions that had killed other members of the Cox family. So it's hard to say exactly what the circumstances behind Alex's death really were. I mean, it is stressful.

Everything that he fucking did could have just given him a heart attack. It could have. That's what I mean. Now, by this point, authorities have been asking Lori to produce her kids for months. But in December 2019, they decided that if Lori was going to keep stonewalling them, the only option they had was to go public. So the authorities pulled out all the stops with a full media blitz.

Including us! Yeah, attacking Lori and Chad simultaneously. With Lori, they hammered the fact that she was totally uncooperative with telling police where her kids were. But Chad's involvement here was the secret sauce that made this whole story even more treacherous and indecent.

Police finally revealed that they had exhumed Tammy Daybell's body and had ruled her death suspicious. And they believe that the cases of Lori's missing kids and Chad's dead wife may be linked. Chad and Lori, of course, discovered all this through newspaper headlines. They read all about it from their romantic villa in Hawaii, and they were, I'd imagine, simultaneously terrified and excited that their little cult had just become

one of the biggest news stories in the world. You don't think that they'll check the pet cemetery, do you? No. There's no pets. Are they looking for pets? Did you leave that? Is that old man who tells people to not go down that road still there? Because if he's still there, then I don't think they're going to go down that road.

He's very convincing. Honestly, I gave him $10 to stay there and tell the police to not go down that road. I told them. I told them it'd actually really help me. Then I sliced his mouth open with a scalpel You could see in the footage The only way to describe it. I really wish that you could see it So you could see the little smiles on their faces like they have this like

We're such we're so popular. popular. Everybody wants to talk about us. And they are so thrilled, because I do think in some way they think this will now kind of, this is utterly convoluted, and I don't know why they think this, but I think that they think that this is proof that it's working, that it's gonna happen. Or that it's the possibility also that the word

is gonna get out about their religion, about their, you know, unique view of Mormonism. People are going to see the light. And everyone's going to be like, oh my God, that's amazing. Of course, Chad Daybell's God. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now, that's not at all what happened.

Almost immediately, the Mormons who'd spent years supporting and believing Chad and Laurie, they began to cut ties. The founders of Preparing a People, the Preparing a People podcast network, they issued a statement denying they were a cult, and it's always bad when you have to issue a statement denying you're a cult. It's a hard day for the PR squad. Yeah, and they quickly distanced themselves from Chad and Laurie by removing all of their podcast appearances. Now that's a pap smear. Truly. Yeah! Yeah, very good.

EddieTunes.com The only person who came to Chad and Lori's side was the founder of the neo-fundamentalist Mormon message board, Avow, who publicly declared that Chad and Lori were innocent. This guy even allowed Chad and Lori to publish a statement on his website in which they claim to be victims of bad press who were only trying to protect JJ and Tylee from so-called evil forces. Protect them from bad press? Is this the opening of Spider-Man the musical? You're being accused of murder. Yeah, no, no, bad press. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

No, it's a good, it's a good role. A bad notice can kill a whole show, you know? Tell me about it, tell me about it. I was in Heroes Stillborn, I know. Yeah, I was stillborn. It was more the CGI in that, though. Yes, it really was the overspending on things that we didn't need to spend money on.

Yeah, and not one sandwich in the whole fucking show. Tell your show, Heroes, fucking put some sandwiches in it. Yeah, I told them. You want me to keep sticking around and come back for episode two. Eddie, put a fucking sandwich in the show. Eddie, do you have any idea how hard I fought for the fat asshole demo? How hard I went in the pain for them? Just throw a sub in there. Throw a fucking eggplant parm.

By January 16th, 2020, the state of Idaho filed a court order demanding that Lori produce JJ and Tylee within five days. The deadline obviously came and went, and the media attention only increased when Dateline aired a two-hour special called Where Are The Children? Appropriately, they aired it on Valentine's Day. But finally, time ran out for Lori Vallow. On February 20th, 2020, 0220, 2020, and this was a month after she blew past the court date

where she was supposed to produce the kids, Lori was arrested in Hawaii, where she was charged with a whole host of crimes from desertion of a child to contempt of court. Chad, however, stuck to the script. While Lori was in jail in Hawaii, awaiting extradition to Idaho, Chad talked to her for an hour every day, assuring her this was all a part of the celestial plan and that the world was still definitely coming to an end on July 22nd 2020.

Not a day later. Make sure you get the keys to your cell cause when the world ends and you're in the cell and you can't get out. No one's gonna be able to feed you. We're gonna be fucked. Yep. You're gonna have to break out.

Woo! The things were really starting to cook for Lori Vallow, but she was extradited to Idaho in March of 2020, which was the same month that COVID-19 brought the entire world to a halt. And now we're going to pause for a four hour series on COVID-19. Pause. Wow, what an amazing journey that was. I missed it.

Me too. Yeah, me too. I missed it, me too, yeah, me too. I missed my puzzles. Yeah. Well, Laurie's march towards justice was therefore put on hold, but it did give investigators more time to turn their attention towards Chad Daybell and the death of Laurie's fourth husband, Charles Vallow. So, after combing through all of Chad and Laurie's texts, both the ones they sent to each other and the ones they sent to other people, investigators found the absolutely idiotic text that Chad had sent to his wife the day after Tylee's murder, the one about cremating the raccoon and burying it in the pet cemetery.

Investigators knew that this text was sent the day after Tylee was seen alive for the last time, during the trip to Yellowstone with her uncle Alex and her mother Lori. From there, investigators looked at Alex Cox's locations using his phone data, and when they During the trip to Yellowstone with her uncle Alex and her mother Lori from there Investigators looked at Alex Cox's locations using his phone data when they put the locations and the stupid Over-explaining text together they decided they'd better take a look at Chad Daybell's backyard Yeah, kind of just sounds like they're all looking at his butt See it's wide and gaping much like the tunnel to heaven Pure white is no go ahead and take a look in there. See if you can't find heaven little boy

Jesus inside the little nodule inside of my butthole that makes me shoot wine. Shoot wine, folks. I wish Alex was here because then I could give him that material. Yeah. Poor Alex. Except he'd say W-H-I-N-E. Yeah, I got it. He's the comedian. And so on June 9th, 2020, the FBI and Rexburg police brought cadaver dogs to Chad's home. Chad let them onto his property, then plopped down in his Chevy Equinox. He nervously watched investigators and kept getting in and out of his car while running his fingers through his hair, acting about as guilty as he possibly could. You can't know you get that's holy good. No, no, you don't want to leave that corner.

Dogs are buried there. 25 dogs. Do not disturb. That is where Hamlet the gerbals buried before long. The dogs had located the first burial site that of JJ Valo and just by coincidence Laurie had chosen that moment to call Chad from prison. This is bad. That's the big coincidence in this story Yeah, this is truly is the big coincidence in the story. This is thank you so much for including this Of course my favorite. This is my literal like my main hit. This is my don't stop believing of this Oh, no, I love this call so much because this is the call between the two of them because I love calls when people realize how fucked they are. It's so much fun. We're just going to listen to 15 seconds of it because there's a lot of mumbling and you can't understand what Chad's saying most of the time without subtitles. But here is Chad and Lori realizing that their lives are over forever. Hi babe. Hello.

Are you okay? No, they're searching the property. The house right now? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that's just, now? Yeah. I'm in Amos. Okay, that's just... They're searching for property right now.

And so, cause she keeps saying, cause it's funny, she's like, so they're staying inside? So they're staying inside the house? He's like, no. You're checking the pet cemetery She's just like it'll be okay. Is there anything I can do from here you're gonna Get a call from my lawyer later. Yeah

Like okay, babe, like it's that that whole like just oh hey, are you okay? But that's the weird thing about is that it is that same like girlfriend. It's girlfriend voice Yeah, it's that it's that same voice that your girlfriend or your wife gives you like when you're in great distress Like it's that's the funny thing is you can actually tell she really loves him It's like she's like she's genuinely concerned for him and genuinely wants to make him feel better But is she not just concerned with herself? Yes, I think partly, but I think she is very, I think she's concerned with herself, but she's also concerned about him.

Where you hear concern, I hear pure delusion. I think that she is talking as if it's normal because it makes her, like it makes Chad feel better. Cause Chad's gotta be, Chad doesn't want anybody to be concerned. That's what I want anybody but it's not out of concern It's about keeping Chad together So that he doesn't act like a big fat bitch in front of the police and that's exactly what he did next Yes, once Chad hung up the phone. He could see that something was happening. That's about the time. They discovered JJ's body

So just like he'd done before, Chad tried running away in his Equinox. To the mormonmobile! No! No! No! The cops quickly chased him down, and since Chad didn't have the stones for a chase,

he surrendered, and finally, after all this time, both Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow were in jail. Yay! We got him! See, my main thing is that I do believe that God has chose me to lead the 144,000. Yeah, there are a lot of rules to break, but one thing I will not do is speed. Because Mormons don't speed, no matter what's going on. And when you find a boy-shaped dog in my pet cemetery,

you will, first of all, call the newspapers because what a find for you. Because also, if you don't look at him for too long, he starts singing and dancing. Hello, my baby. Oh, my. Hello, my raggedy. Yeah, yeah.

You gotta believe me. Well, once Chad was arrested and the discovery of both bodies Oh my baby! Oh my honey! Oh my ragdoll gal! You gotta believe me! Once Chad was arrested and the discovery of both bodies became public, the Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow story grew to even greater proportions. Before long, all the details about Chad and Lori's beliefs about zombies and the end of the world became public as well, and Lori Vallow was finally given the infamous designation of the Doomsday Mom. The case for murder here was difficult to prove, because investigators believed that

Alex had been the one who'd actually murdered the kids. But after the now-former cult member Zulema Pastanis obtained immunity and podcast Melonie Gibb really started talking, police were able to charge Chad and Lori with the first degree murder of Lori's kids in May of 2021. Soon after, Lori Vallow was also charged with conspiracy to commit first degree murder in regards to the death of her fourth husband, Charles Vallow, and both Lori and Chad were charged with the murder of Tammy Daybell. And so, by June of 2024, Chad Daybell and Lori Vallow have been found guilty on every single charge.

And while Lori received life without parole, Chad Daybell is currently sitting on death row in Idaho. Do you think that if he gets electrocuted in the chair, does he turn into french fries? I mean, he does look like a potato. He would be. I feel like, yeah, I feel like if you zap him, he might smell delicious. Yeah, he might. I really wonder what his last words are going to be.

Oh dear, I'm pooping! No, he gets strapped into the lethal injection, cause I'd imagine lethal injection is how they're gonna kill him. I wonder what his last words are gonna be. Probably just something like OK JESUS NOW! NOW JESUS GO!

Anytime! Anytime Jesus! Now Jesus! Alright! Come on! Time to go! I know you love drama, but let's just kind of get it done! We only got a minute left! Yep. Now, completely by coincidence, Dateline revealed while we were recording these episodes that Lori Vallow had agreed to give them an interview, her first since her podcast appearances, and certainly the only one since she was arrested, charged, and convicted.

This interview was released just a week ago, and after watching it, I can say with conviction that prison has not changed Lori Vallow one iota, and she still believes that absolutely everything we've said about their mythology is true. You know, I was convinced Finally, you know what I needed was her rambling for an hour to Keith Morrison and not saying any details Yeah, and I was a believer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah me too. She also had some filler migration Filler migration that's what they call it when she oh when she gets filler and her face looks all fucked up

Yeah, that's your face your filler migration. It's cuz she has been able to upkeep it. So it's been sliding Also, she puts hair on the top of her head like fucking Bam Bam She does this stupid cute thing where she does like a scrunchie and stuff and she makes like prison makeup She looks like a fucking evil clown. She does no well She used the same tactic on Keith Morrison that she used on the cops when they showed up at the townhouse. It's this wall of, it's this brick wall of rambling where she spent the majority of the hour and a half that they had together,

that's all the police would give Keith Morrison, she spent the majority just rambling on about Tylee and not really saying anything in particular. So when you actually watch the episode, it's maybe four and a half minutes of Lori Valio talking over it big stretch it over a fucking hour and a half sucks It's maybe maybe four minutes of her talking I actually thought that Daitlyn kind of dropped the ball on it to be what are they supposed to do? She's released the entire uncut interview. Oh, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit. I don't know

I want the chicken shit. That is true. He doesn shit. I don't, I want the chicken shit. That is true, he does want the chicken shit. I want the chicken shit. I want to hear every word out of her mouth. I want to hear it. I want to hear what she has to say for herself. Because her, what she said in her sentencing reaction, because he gave her statement at the end of the sentencing, her theory is that Tylee killed JJ accidentally and then committed suicide out of... A month earlier.

Yes. A month earlier. Exactly. But that's her whole, that's the only thing she has to say. Dentally and then committed suicide out of on thoroughly. Yes That's the only thing she has to say yeah Well, but she did say that she still believes that both she and Chad are gonna be exonerated any day now again Jesus loves an ark. Yeah, he does. Well, what she said is that Jesus she's been to heaven multiple times, is what she said that in the interview. Jesus showed her when she was in heaven a vision of the future in which Chad and Laurie were together and they were together outside of the prison walls so therefore that means that Chad and Laurie will be exonerated one day. Well you're also not gonna get exonerated if no one's trying to exonerate you. Yeah. No, but Jesus is gonna come down, he's gonna kill all of us with his machine guns,

and then he's gonna lift them up. And then Chad's finally gonna turn into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Exactly. Jesus has come from some. Nobody steps on a church in my town. He says, apparently though, Jesus has the magic ability to take the, what can only be described as oatmeal

on the sides of his thighs and his whole body and Push him up in the muscles. Yeah Jesus is gonna fucking body by Jesus. Yeah, and Lori also says that her and Tammy are friends And that sister wives basically and that Tammy visits Lori in prison and they have conversations And she also says that Jesus visits her in prison And she just yeah she does just ramble on like she talks about how like you know if I ever had a bumper sticker like if I ever had a bumper sticker I always had a joke

I had this joke that if I had this bumper sticker then I would say Jesus loves you but he loves me more and I just thought that was really cute and she has this fucking demeanor about her that's infuriating and insane because she's talking the whole time about how she has been falsely accused, falsely convicted, falsely tried. Smiling and laughing and giggling and just. So bubbly, so flirty, like the whole time, flirting with Keith Morrison. Do you think you know about that, Keith?

What do you know about that, Keith? Were you there, Keith? Like doing that thing where, and then her cousin, I was listening to the Mormon story's reaction to it, and I thought it was interesting as Her cousin was like that's actually the Lori. I know very well It's like that's she used to do this thing where it's like it is a Hot girl from a small town thing where they both I've noticed it a die love everyone

I've met all the years, but sometimes her meet up as a professional But sometimes her meet up as a professional Entertainer when you go out and to the smaller areas the country you meet other people that are the large fish and their small world yeah, and they Sometimes like to relate to you by making fun of you saying mean things to you Yeah, but also kind of sucking up to you at the same time. Yeah, stop doing that. Yes, Lori Vallow does exactly that. She both makes, she both flirts and negs. Yeah. It's very strange.

Yes. But it's, it's her go-to move. She's the star. Yes, she's very much the star here. That's the thing, is that Keith Morrison, she's in a room with Keith Morrison. Keith Morrison's a fucking, he's taking away her attention. Yeah. And she is also very delusional

Oh, yes So delusional in fact that she half joked in the interview about the possibility of being a guest on Dancing with the Stars After her release as if the world is gonna be sorry that they ever doubted her that she'll become a beloved Public figure who makes television appearances didn't they do that with like three different Republican shitheads Yeah, you know they do they've like three different Republican shitheads? You know, they do. They've done that. I mean, yeah, they have brought Carol basket. Yeah. Yeah. She knew how to get away with murder. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I guess she believes that I guess that it's really not that far off. It's really not that far. She does get released by Mitt Romney in 2028.

And then she'll be on Dancing with the Stars and then get extra days at Disneyland. Yes, she just can't show most of her legs. She'd have to wear a very long skirt. Sarah Palin, that was the controversial one on Dancing with the Stars. Oh, sure, and Sean Spicer. Sean Spicer, yeah.

Now this interview- Yeah, right, is that funny? Yeah, yeah. Now this interview coincided with the beginning of Lori's latest trial, the one concerning the murder of Charles Vallow. It's going on right now. And Lori, like her father before her, is representing herself with a face full of, as you said, clownish prison makeup.

In other words, it's a fair bet to say that Lori Vallow's delusions will never end. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's a fair bet to say that Lori Vallow's delusions will never end, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's not entirely her fault. Now, yes, Lori is a narcissist of the highest order, and that probably would have been true no matter what religion she was. But when narcissism meets Mormonism, it's like fire meeting gasoline. Because of Mormonism's built-in improvisational nature, any LDS member with a touch of evil and a big heaping of arrogance, they have a ready-made cult kit that

they can pick up and use at any moment. And we've seen this happen dozens upon dozens upon dozens of times. Yeah, Spun is on episode 18 of Mormon based crimes like it is it's huge and also Again, I'm I mean, I don't know what to say It's their natural arrogance the the Mormon aloofness this idea that they are better than us also feeds this Yeah, well also they don't have to deal with outside society They've been given like full states, you know to like exist as play and you can go play in this little area And what's worse is that it doesn't take a lot of these people to do a lot of damage The number of ardent followers that Chad Daybell had it didn't even approach double digits yet

He and Laurie together were able to use Mormon ideology to justify the murder of four people including two children Furthermore fringe Mormon voices like Pap and Avow, along with all those NDE and End Times authors, they're constantly adding their own bits of lore to the Mormon storyline, and the more stuff there is to build from, the easier it is for people to spin off into their own dark corners, where all manner of evil lurks. Yeah, that's how we're gonna end up with like a spider-dog television show God the new James Bond series are gonna be horrible. Who's already fucking spider-ham. I know Spider-hands fantastic spider-hands been around since the 80s. I used to love spider-ham comics, okay

You don't sound convinced. It's not for him. I mean, it should be though. No. Yes. That is true. But that's all to say that religion in this country is becoming more dangerous by the day, more sinister, more violent, and it's not just Mormonism. There's an edge to Christianity at large that's only gotten sharper over the last few decades, and I'm not exactly sure what the rest of us are supposed to do about it. What I can say though is that while it is your choice to follow whatever religion you

want, it's your responsibility as a human being to think for yourself, especially if the people in charge start asking or telling you to do things or believe in things that you know aren't right. For some of you, that day might come very soon. So in the end, all I ask is for you to think about what the people in charge are saying. Because if a religion or a movement tells you that you and yours are special, that you and yours are good while everyone else is evil, then they really aren't that far off from the narcissism that created Chad Daybell and

Lori Vallow. Very nice. And I'll say that's why I'm so glad we did this series, because we fixed it. I just think it's one final nail in the coffin to organize religion. Yeah, yeah. That's the way. And party it up, boys. Yep, we're taking down this $500 billion fucking massive capitalist system. And we're free in the nipple. That's what we're fucking doing boys! Wow, we finally did this story and now it can be out of our system.

Yeah, okay, now it can be done. Now it's gone and we can move on to other things. I just want to say thank you guys so much for listening to our show. Thank you guys being cool. We got, obviously there's the new, what's it called? SiriusXM Podcast Plus. SiriusXM Podcast Plus so you can do everything you want with it And there's also, you can do a

Is that great? Is that a good promo? Yeah, people love it And then what, the main thing is to know Is that we have some really good series coming up And we also have a new extended Sort of running series that we're going to be Introducing vaguely soon As well, but next week

We've got some You're going gonna like a fan favorite of ours You know like it because guess what month that is March yeah We're very very excited this one we're going for these are earthbound Mostly mostly earthbound which I'm very excited for actually but one of the main contenders is specifically not earthbound Yeah, they are even in the name Yeah, it's very much in the name And then we're gonna we got a bunch of great series yeah, not just that we got a bunch of new fucking shows on the tour

Man, yeah, you're so excited. I got it up right here. We got in July 12th Salt Lake City. We going to go check on our people. Make sure they're okay. Yeah. I would honestly, what I want to say at our Salt Lake City, it's like, I need to see as much fishnet. We need to get this going y'all.

We need to make that a full on golf night. Hey, we know we played many shows in Salt Lake City before. I fucking love playing Salt Lake City. It's got some of the best crowds we've ever had. Yeah. Cause they go hard. Oh yeah. Like if you have people like exmos, they have people who aren't Mormon at all in Salt Lake City. Yeah. They push back pretty fucking hard. I've never been to Salt Lake City. It looks beautiful. Also August 8th, we're going to be in Charlotte, North Carolina. August 9th, the very next night we're going

to be in Durham, North Carolina, September 20th, St. Paul, Minnesota, October 11th, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, October 25th, Oakland, California, November 29th. Just after Thanksgiving, we're going to be in Cleveland, Ohio. Yeah, love Cleveland. And then December 12th and 13th, Portland, Oregon. Yeah, we love Portland as well. Back to back. No, we're going to have a lot of fun. We're really,'re really I you know We're having more fun than ever and we like it

Yeah, and then tonight if you're listening to this early enough come out to the Ryman, baby There's still a couple tickets available We're gonna have some great show for you and then on Sunday of course you can catch Henry and I at the Nazi Scientist Center In Hutsville, Alabama! Hey, we made him not a Nazi anymore! Yeah, technically, yeah, yeah. And Brüder von Braun, as we've learned, he wasn't like THAT enthused about the Nazis. Also, he was pretty enthused. He was pretty, uh...

He definitely may not have been enthused about the ideology, but he was definitely enthused about the workforce they provided. Oh, yeah. It's just about value-get-the-rockets. Also, wanna throw this out into the world if they ever make the Chad Daybell movie Tim Heidecker Inspired casting my absolutely inspired casting who's Lori? Oh? I haven't I couldn't figure that one out. I gotta think about that cuz I think that it would be a Like a woman who looks like a rectangle

All right fuckers, we'll see you next week picture not.com all the other stuff. Twitch.tv, social, PLTV, Last Pack has a left. I'll get you going to get to it. All right, Hail Satan. Again. Hail invasive species, my tour of Florida. Go get tickets. I'll be in Jacksonville, Panama City, and Tallahassee next weekend. Perfect.

Thank you. Goodbye, y'all.