Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 63: Bigfoot

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

The secrets of Bigfoot are revealed, including the infamous Patterson-Gimlin film, recent sightings of the Bigfoot, the possibility that they might be aliens, and the mystery of why everyone involved in Bigfoot research has horrible, terrible surnames.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started Um fuck yeah, all right. Let's do it. All right. That's Marcus. I'm Ben all the way from beautiful Los Angeles Who is that famous movie star over there? A&W root beer presents Henry Zabrowski. What you have a sponsor now? Oh, you know, I do but only you oh Yeah, what they're doing is is they're they're paying me to walk around knocking other types of drinks out of people's hands and me like And then like it's doing really well for me is that gonna get support for the brand I think people are gonna get very hardened towards the A&W if you if you knock on a diet

He's out of their hands. I am not I am not officially sponsored yet. Oh for here is this sort of I'm starting a trend Uh-huh, and it's gonna go viral called slap that coke Well, you go up to someone who's drinking a coke and you fucking grab it out of their hands And you just shove it down their fucking pants and you go like fucking ain't W. Rupert you slime Wow Can people put their own twist on it like they don't have to say you slime do they? No, no, you can call them a wet back. You can call them a You call anything you want I like to call you especially if they're not Mexican of course

I say specifically if they're not Mexican Mexican, but otherwise that's extremely racist and will result in a beating if they're Excellent call them a red coat. Yeah Get out of here You burrito brain no still not so good still very very bad. What is the racist about that? Everything I'm playing a character. I'm playing a perspective cat. I'm on that forever Henry. Yeah But you're doing well out there your celebrities everywhere. Oh, that's great. Have you had any celebrity sightings? I saw Santana at the Goodwill I put it on Instagram. I took a sly picture of Santana at the Goodwill looking for awful shirts

Wow and Santana is not doing well not doing too well at all. We'll speak Thomas was outside in a car that was running So it was fine. I think that he was just going in and out. I think he was just stopping by This is Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 fame. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and they were he was blast and smooth. Oh good I'm still in it. He's still in it to win it That's quite amazing. That's full of Phil. Yes, well speaking of celebrity sightings today We're gonna talk about one of the most famous celebrities in American history and the sightings of him We're talking Bigfoot people and father Ed's father live in the woods of fucking the Pacific Northwest Just banging little Jewish women in order to make more ads. Is that right? Oh, yeah, that's not bad

This is good. This episode will be very informative for Ed then well Let him know what his dad's been up to probably not eating as much as Ed has But that's okay. It's just so nice that they could get the big tubs of nair It takes to get Ed to look like a normal fucking human being on television every week I know and and for those of you who have no idea who Ed is he's on the roundtable gentleman and the burn with Jeff Ross He's the Sasquatch on the burn. He's cuz he's a big one. He's out there He's the one that you were just like, oh my god. Is that a pig standing up and talking? That's at large that bizarre Geico commercial is that pig squealing? I didn't know pigs could grow beer. It's good for him

Yeah, no, he's a big putt not pants Big putting on a sweater. That's a little too small. Well speaking of sweaters and overall hairiness the Sasquatch and they're the Bigfoot or the Yeti they certainly got quite a mane on them Marcus, let's just start off Do we want to start off with the first footage that was ever filmed of the Sasquatch? Absolutely, that would be the Patterson-Gimlin film. Okay, and Sasquatch has been the way nine out of ten times. That's a snuff film Absolutely. Well, that was all their previous movies and then a bunch of just like pictures just showed up and yeah Him just videotaping his own butt to see if he had

And this is the video that I'm sure every single one of you have seen It's a very short picture that was filmed on October 20th 1967 it's the one that has Bigfoot just casually strolling along They say that that it was a female Bigfoot that they originally had caught squatting and taking a shit next to the river Mm-hmm. Well, no girl wants to be caught doing that even a Bigfoot girl And of course the the Bigfoot also has gigantic hairy tits. Holy Lord. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love them Oh, get in there and as you can see that if you I mean you say that the Bigfoot's taking a shit Looks very annoyed as it's walking away

And you wouldn't think that an animal that is just just generally an animal would look annoyed So you think there's something special to the Bigfoot brain something special that might make them ashamed of a public poo poo Yeah, just a little bit more human than the Simians You say a shame, but I really just comes down to its inconvenience and I'm just really surprised It didn't this is the thing this is the only thing I would say it's like that it that that makes me believe It's a hoax is that wouldn't it attack them, right? You know like if you feel me taking a shit if you bust into my house and fill me while I'm taking a shit I'm coming at you, but I mean you got poo poo in the butt. You didn't have time to wipe

It's get that squeaky feeling you just want to get back home where you can finally hop in that shower Yeah, and Patterson and Gimlin were also both armed. Yeah. Well, I yes and two horses as well Which are terrifying beasts. Yeah, but it was just with like nun chucks. These guys are kind of they are a couple of clowns But they may they may have made the the the only piece of footage about Bigfoot that actually exists because I mean people fight it All over the place though. Mm-hmm. It's a thing. Let's pretend this film is real. Where was it shot? It was shot in See here shot in California Okay, yeah California and what year was national park six river and what year was this shot in 1967?

Okay, so I guess so the weed was sweet and music was jamming. Oh, Jim Hendrix was just on the scene Was that he just meets that in a scene? Well, the streets of San Francisco were filled with hippies looking for answers making questions Yeah, that's the thing. It could have just been the lead singer of the Grateful Dead on the terrible bender What was that for this man? I would have been Jerry Garcia. Jerry Garcia. I'm sorry I Only know him by his ice cream name Cherry Garcia, which I think is more important Think about it. That's made me happy. I have spent more time with Cherry Garcia than Jerry Garcia I'm literally sitting in a bucket at Cherry Garcia

Well, here's an interesting that some interesting background for both Patterson and Gimlin Patterson died of cancer in 1972 and Gimlin didn't talk about the subject until the year 2000 when he finally began giving interviews of making appearances at Bigfoot conferences now Here is my question for you. This is cash right now. Yeah, how excited was the guy who finally got Gimlin for the big conference Excited then immediately like oh, yeah, that's why he hasn't spoken in 30 years He knows nothing because he's taking all the free ketchup packets out of the Burger King going like well You never know when you need some free ketchup like saying like stuff like that. He's sleeping on the couch

I would get your back. My girlfriend's in the bathroom. Exactly Um, I wish sketch a package would have those funny sayings like the Taco Bell packets I don't even like like hot sauce. I just take all of them and laugh I What I love it here, too Is I was reading this like one little bit here and they were saying that when they finally captured the bee when they captured the Beast he said the you characterized the creature's expression is one of contempt and disgust You know, it feels when the umpire tells you one more word and you're out of the game. That's the way it felt Doesn't sound good enough of those little league analogies

Let's uh, let's go for some of the criticisms of this f-film we can go through some criticisms of it Uh, and some people positives first. What are there positive is is that it looks like a monkey? Well, it is that it that it's a bit whatever it was. It was very big. Are there any scientists that think that this is a legitimate Possibility absolutely and these are real scientists. Yes. These are real scientists. Okay, so they have some support There's this guy Grover Krantz that he points out mostly the first say that his first name is Grover Any science if you're a sir if your name is Rupert or Grover or like hedgehog The only thing a Grover could ever invent accidentally is the chia pet Well one thing that a lot of anthropologists have tried to do to actually authenticate this is that they can look at how

The person walks and they can compare how a human walks to Bigfoot or how Bigfoot walks compared to a chimpanzee But the only problem with that is the film is done at 24 frames per second The frame rate isn't high enough. Okay to actually distinguish that with any kind of scientific credibility. However, well, how convenient However, what Grover points out Is he mostly points out to the dimensions of the creature how gigantic it is He points out the tremendous width of the creature's shoulders He estimated at 28.2 inches after deducting one inch for hair or 35 for 1% of its full Standing I have to do with Ed Larson in order to see if he can fit in a cubby hole

He had a full standing height of 78 inches or 72 inches of its walking height Which is a bit stooped crouch and sunken to the stand the creature's shoulders are almost 50% wider than the human mean for comparison Andre the giant had a human ratio of 24% Holy shit, so whoever this was was fucking massive. I will address that later the gigantic creatures Only very rarely do humans have a shoulder breath of 30% Crans argue that a suited person could not mimic this breath and still have the naturalistic hand in arm motions Present in the film

Says that the figure stride center of gravity and biomechanics aren't consistent with a human's Biomechanics center of gravity and stride just that this thing Moves very strangely, okay And this and this does not account for the fact that he may be a skilled mime or character actor Mm-hmm. This is California after all think about it about it And so Krantz also showed the film to a man named Gordon Valiant Who's a researcher for Nike shoes who says he made some rather useful observations Searcher for Nike put them on your feet

It's the laces that keep them all isn't that we're some people don't use the laces. That's weird. Mm-hmm. It ain't spaghetti But I eat it So after all these years you did have some anthropologists a mainstream Anthropa mainstream scientific community anthropologists which all of this all the big foot supporters call the M M mainstream Scientist that in MMSS, okay, mainstream scientist MSS took me a little bit to get there. It's a lot to get to It's fine. It's fine. It's like that's one of the one thing I'm discovering about all these all of this stuff

Is there a lot of acronyms? They love a lot of acronyms. They love them very hard to get your brain around So some anthropologists did come out one even wrote a book in support of it However in 2002 Philip Morris of Morris costumes claims that he made a gorilla costume that was used in the Patterson film He says that he discussed his role in the hoax privately in the 80s But first admit it admitted it publicly in 2002 He claims he was reluctant to expose the hoax earlier for fear of harming his business ie giving away his perform a performer's secrets Which would widely be disregarded as disreputable much like a magician going on the Fox network and showing how all the tricks are done Interesting. Oh, that's it. That's an insult. He did an insult to that magician guy. He did that is that is on that is unfair

Yeah, there is definitely a fight in Philip Morris has passed with his father that he definitely seemed to have lost when his father said get into the Tobacco business. It's gonna be huge. He's like Fuck you dad Costumes well Morris there is another oh keep going. Well Morris City sold an apesuit to Patterson via mail order in 1967 thinking it was going to be used in what Patterson described as a prank Well, when you get that from the mailman make sure to scream my bride The perfect costume for my monkey drama This is strange I did not know this this

Or ordinarily the guerrilla suits he sold were used for a popular sideshow routine that depicted an attractive woman changing into a guerrilla Whoa, yeah That is a sticky edge mother And after the initial sale Morris said that Patterson telephoned him to ask how to make the shoulders more active and the arms longer and He said here's why I said this is this is why the Creatures Walk is so strange Morris said the Bigfoot researchers say that no human can walk that way in the film. Oh, yes They can when you're wearing long clowns feet you can place the ball of your foot down first

You can't oh wait. Sorry. You can't place the ball of your foot down first You have to put your foot any scientific explanation that begins with when you're wearing clown feet Makes me just shut down Yeah, another thing when you put on the gorilla head you can only turn your head maybe a quarter of the way and a look behind you You've got to turn your head and your shoulders and your hips plus the shoulder pads in the suit are in the way of the jaw That's why Bigfoot turns and looks the way he does in the film. He has to twist his entire body He says that also Patterson called him. That's also how monkeys are built

That's how gorillas are built where they can't they can't turn their head individually They have to move their body. So however One more person came out none other than Bob Heronimus the man in the gorilla costume Really? It's last name's Heronimus. Yeah It's kind of like you like what's the guy was just like shut up mom I'm painting hell Heronimus Bosch So there was another video that came out now recently it was like the same exact thing They said that it predates this video because this was a what 1962 you said?

1967 There was another one that that recently said that came forward which was a skunk ape video that came out in 1952 was like this like older older one and it's it's just it is the farthest off shot of a dude Just jumping from one rock to another rock and then there was a there's a show called I think it's called Sasquatch hunters. Uh-huh on TV right now where they have this big fat Indian dude Who's just sitting there and he's they're just like we're trying to test to see if it is physically possible For someone to jump from one rock to another and then he goes up there this 350 pound dude He just jumps from one rock to the other and they're like we've reached the conclusion that if

Heronimo here can jump from one rock to the other than it is quite possible for any human to do this The silliest thing Bob get not only was Heronimus in the the ape man in the video, but Bob Gimlin also borrowed Heronimus's horse Chico. Okay. Yeah, and He says all these people do not deserve any attention. You know, they accidentally got into the national spotlight Because it's just a bunch of just like because I know that they went up there to film a movie Yeah, they went up there to film a movie about about my foot like yeah cowboys and like all this stuff like up in the Up in the mountains. No, they were going there to specifically record a movie about Bigfoot

What was the person dressed as Bigfoot to try to lure out other Bigfoot's? Was there and did they do these folks believe in Bigfoot at all? Or were they just attempting to to make a fake little film? It's said that they were making a fake film because the man who died of cancer was out of money and He was just trying to do he was just trying to figure out any way to make a little bit of money on Something like so he figures I'm gonna spend the rest of the money I have on a $350 apesuit and then somehow make more money off of the apesuit Video gotta flip it man. That's right. Put money in and you flip it You got to make an apesuit to make money. Everybody knows it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

And he says the reason why the shoulders were so large because he had football shoulder pads on and actually the suit was $450 and it was made of dinel a synthetic material. Well, that which probably gave him cancer It's probably like asbestos like everything was made. Oh, they loved asbestos back in the day Oh, yeah, because it worked. It did work Worked at the thin out the population anyway, including my grandfather This kind of funny you mentioned the football shoulder pads that would be amazing if that's what football players had to dress like skunk apes I mean, that would be that's an exciting game. I can get behind I would fucking watch it forever. Oh, absolutely. I'm sure you had more. Yeah, like people dressed up as like

You know clowns on one side big foot on the other side Like that's football needs like Ravens need to dress like Ravens 49 Exactly get into the get into the theme of your team, please the Browns gonna dress. Oh, we can't talk about it No, can we talk about there how the Redskins are gonna dress that's gonna be up to the league to decide You could argue you might want to change both those names. I don't know though So what are some other evidence? We have this story. We have the debunked Gimlet film or Gimli film. Yeah, Gimlin Gimlin film, yeah, because I keep I keep doing that same thing like we're saying like Gimli and my big foot

Yeah, exactly. I'm thinking Gimlet or Gimli which are two very one things fun to drink and one things fun to watch and laugh It's a bad last name We'll have good last names. So this one from the 1950s. This one. This was the fella jumping over the rocks This is a person jumping over. It was very debunked. Yes, very much So I mean it was just by by this by the show Sasquatch hunters Which is still just like these guys were interns on monster wars that was on the animal planet And then we got the wrong show basically so Henry you've been watching a lot of these shows and you were mentioning One of the fellows who was a huge skunk ape hunter. What's that guy all about love this guy?

His name is Dave Shealy now Dave Shealy He spends most of his time in a big cypress swamp searching for skunk He's not maintaining the Trail Lakes compound now the Trail Lakes compound is what he says is his skunk ape like Preserve that he's made in the Florida Everglades. He lives down there. How many skunk apes are in this preserve? So here so this is this is his story. He's born September 28th 1963 He spent his entire life living in the Everglades his family history in the Everglades can be traced back to 1891 as far back as Dave can remember rumor circulated around town of a creature covered with hair standing upright like a man Smelling like a scum. They did every dude leaving the bar. This is his this is his

His website. I'll put it. We're gonna put it up on the Facebook page. It is fucking glorious This guy it's all just glamour shots of him sitting on a stool and this amazing bio He wrote to date Dave has had a total of three confirmed skunk ape sightings and a collected valuable information in regards to skunk A habitat and density. He estimates that between seven and nine skunk apes Exists in a Florida Everglades. Well, the only thing I know is there ain't eight of them There's some more between seven and nine, but I'll be goddamn if it's eight Yeah Dave's research takes him to some of the most remote areas in South Florida. Oh

include gluffers tavern and What's it called? Gluffers tab you say gluffers. Yes. No, that's not real. That's unreal. It's just where he comes from. Yeah Oh, he made a documentary for Florida International University. So basically he has seen I mean Think about the kind of PTSD this guy's got a fucking deal with. Yeah, he's seen a skunk ape three times He times and that is smelly when I like here about the skunk. It's it's like so that As we didn't really begin the top with a big big foot general thing, but it's basically every single like Tribe every single like group of people all over the world have a story about monkey people, right?

Which is essentially again, it's probably just you know, the big dude in town, you know I mean like when Ben kissle if Ben kissle someone your size showed up in Mexico Sure, someone fucked someone and they accidentally had a seven foot child. You know, I mean like grew up to seven feet That was their skunk ape, right? Absolutely. Yeah, you would be considered a skunk ape If I put you in a fur coat and put you out on a mountain, Oregon Sure, we'd be getting scott. We'd be getting fucking big foot sightings boom boom left and right left and right Yeah, absolutely, especially with my wide gate and bizarre walking habits. Absolutely and your love of pretzels. Yeah Yeah, that's how you catch skunk apes. Oh, that's the thing. Maybe I could just convince him

Well, that's Henry you have to be the town crier I'll let you take a couple of sweet pictures of me and then when they're like, what does he want? Oh, wouldn't you believe it? He loves Coors light and he loves pretzels We better get him a whole bunch. Otherwise, he's gonna get angry and he desperately needs a flat-screen TV with a Netflix connection And you got an extra woman So the skunk ape and specifically I'm sure you may you you guys may know about it But this is the Florida monkey This is the Florida bigfoot monkey and the thing about this skunk ape is that he smells very bad

He's similar to rotten eggs methane. He smells like farts Oh, it says that he hides in it because because of the fact that he hides in alligator dens I'm sorry. I'm filled with burps. Oh god. Yeah, that flax is just fucking just Fermenting in my intestines. Shut up. I mean, it's really something gross They hide an alligator dens filled with swamp gas and rotting animal cadavers Others speculate that they smell because they never bathe Mm-hmm about that now. Yeah, it's a skunk ape in your shower. What kind of fright's that gonna give you when you're on That's what the movie psycho should have ended with he pulls back the curtain tries to stab the woman

But it's a skunk ape. It says here. It's it's diet They meet in plants. It's mostly birds and they hang around rookeries What's a rookie? I don't a rookery is where one will keep a large amount of birds Oh, mostly Ravens. Oh, think about that That's where all the new kids in the force lived So you had a so it so Florida has the skunk ape and where does the Sasquatch the Sasquatch reside? That is up in the that is northern, California in Oregon There's like there are whole places devoted to skunk apes. It's like a big foot up there

It's where it's like there's a whole industry. So everyone's obsessed with it's kind of like what's happened in Roswell Yeah, and in fact in Scamania County, Washington It is illegal to kill a Sasquatch that is on the books and Any other place where it's illegal to kill a Sasquatch? Well, I'll tell you where it's legal to kill a Sasquatch, Texas Wow, very good. Yes, you can actually like a organ-based bigfoot buff John Lloyd Sharf Again with these fucking names, I mean they have no choice but to get into the bigfoot game. Yes, he contacted the Saurphinal die shark. Yeah You come down to the Texas Parks and Wildlife

Officials to see if you might have a fighting chance of hunting a Sasquatch without getting busted turns out the way the law is written suggests it's okay to turn bigfoot into the biggest trophy that ever hung above the fireplace and In fact, there is a movie coming out next or actually here in a couple months called shooting bigfoot It's about a man named Rick Dyer who by the way Rick Dyer is a well-known book bigfoot hoaxer Would you love because every single one of these guys has like a history of being a hoaxer mm-hmm in 2010 He was caught he did an interview with a local news station in which he said that he would charge people $500 per trip to go on bigfoot humming hunting expeditions, and he's like I know such things bigfoot and then They know such thing as bigfoot course not yeah exactly like what cobra did yeah, however in

2011 something changed which I will imagine it will be revealed in the movie and on September 6 2012 while on a bigfoot hunting expedition Outside of San Antonio, Texas at 2 30 a.m. Rick Dyer Shot and killed a bigfoot in the back of the head while the bigfoot was eating from ribs on a bait tree Bigfoot bait yeah Really good bigfoot bait is they use deer lever which is like one thing which they rub it on a tree And then they fucking come hump the tree and then they shoot it in the back of the head I guess like Rick Dyer did but they said that the number one bigfoot bait is dry beans

Really That's dry beans that sounds pretty good. What kind of beans like pinto red It says here black eyed peas pinto and kidney beans all work However large lime of beans are the recommended bait and should be considered your first choice because the big thing is that the vultures won't come and eat it Oh very interesting. So when this guy I thought shooting bigfoot I thought they were referring to via like a camera. Well, this is all about a gun Well, they did he does actually have three minutes of footage of him running out of the tent with a gun

And it is also quite possible that the film will include footage of the aftermath of the shooting So we're gonna see a dead bigfoot. I mean this film is I mean it's gonna be in the Tribeca film festival So right who knows it's legit. It's legit, you know, and right afterwards. They're gonna show the footage from Osama bin Laden's death Right after interesting. Yeah, right after it. Well, you better stick around after the fucking credits. Here's the funny thing It's the same movie Weird Bizarre oh my god, there's another movie out coming out called crypto trip We're same thing a guy named Christopher Maloney basically blew up this whole like he is really deep in the bigfoot scene

A lot of hot chicks in that scene. I assume. No, no, absolutely not Never never was so what's this movie all about that? He's making. Oh, it just is just him collecting a bunch of bits of pieces of people seeing various like Cryptids what they call and like he says that his own experience with giant birds and pterodactyls people see pterodactyls and stuff like that Yeah, most notably the Thunderbird the Native American Bird of Lore and that's what they're now considering to be what is the what what that would be is essentially Gigantic prehistoric birds. Yeah, but basically he just kind of he was talking with a guy named Todd Nice

Who's on who's in this film who was a he has now turned his whole life? He was a former army sergeant and Was a station in Oregon and he saw three gigantic primates up in the woods and basically Quit the army and started the American primate foundation and became yeah, like a ludicrous person. Yeah Another one of these guys is another David Shealy was like his whole life is now bigfoot He's changed that's what people say about these guys and that was basically what crypto trip is about is how people's lives are changed by

Like meeting these creatures. Are there any videos or photos of bigfoot that exist right now that have been like confirmed to be like possibly real well, the one the most recent bigfoot video that's come out was in May of last year some kids in Idaho a bit filmed a Bigfoot kind of walking through the woods Yeah, and it's still you know a little blurry and I did a little bit of digging all right and I came across a Website called crypto zoology mythology adventures dot WordPress.com. Oh, so Yeah, remember

And it's talking about this latest footage and this person's watching it and they're also going through some of the comments and The comment that caught their eye was Bigfoot's cloaking device must have been malfunctioning and the person says yeah I know it sounds stupid at first, but think about it this article slash recent sightings aren't like the Patterson footage where they were using a grainy 35 millimeter camera. It is 2012 and we have much more advanced cameras So why can't we get a good picture of this thing? Is it possible that this animal may have a natural ability to do to distort a camera or electronic equipment? Or is it more likely that hundreds of thousands of people just can't work their cameras?

Those are two very good questions. So The same thing with it with Bigfoot being an alien egg That's exactly where I was going with this. It could be that either he has a natural aversion towards electronics Or that Bigfoot has alien technology including cloaking devices. I Mean there are people are now saying what they what they've seen is UFOs being manned by ape creatures And they've seen like you know like UFOs coming down and ape creatures coming out of it And like basically what one of it said that they saw a grayish ape-like creature with a large downward angled snout No neck and a sizable waist moving outside of a

UFO that was landed on the ground. Oh, I thought you were gonna say a coffee shop at 3 a.m. In Santa Barbara This completely goes against what we think of aliens hairless bald thin kind of wiry looking creatures It seems to be and maybe I'm just stereotyping here. I would think the Sasquatch isn't good with small technologies You know, I absolutely not I think but but we're also we're limiting our idea of aliens There are many many many types of aliens. So there could be a monkey people I suppose so there could be well the earliest clues date back to 1888 when a cattle man described an encounter with friendly Indians in California Okay, they led him to a cave where he saw a hefty humanoid creature covered in long shiny black hair with no neck sitting cross-legged

One Indian told him three of these crazy bears had been cast out one of these Yeah, that dropped from the sky and landed the moon was ascended back into the air So it's highly likely the crazy bears were really big-foot and the moon a spacecraft That is very likely always Yeah, always trust a Native American will they're tripping balls That's when you can listen to them and believe what they say and this is also before the hipster beard craze So a lot of look at these guys and they they think automatically. Oh my god, a monkey person So maybe we should we should just do a shooting Sasquatch right here in Williamsburg

We'll use a camera of course because we can't go to prison and I think you'd find a dozen of them easy on a Tuesday Oh, yeah, I mean just look for the ones wearing the cardigans. Yeah, absolutely Absolutely, it's very much is dressed very cool. Very nice There's also a lot of also believe you know that big foot is an Interdimensional being and that's the reason why he can't be captured again an alien if you want to talk about alien theory It's the same exact thing that he pops in and out of reality He is a ghost big foot is a ghost. Yeah, it just seems like To work for the CIA like that. How do you know he doesn't I don't know

Oh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh flip your dumb shit So what do you think it is Henry if you had to choose alien or just land creature or missing link? a lot of people think it's possible that he is the missing link between man and Gorilla well when they when they go into basically talking about how he could naturally not be found There's a lot of stories people talk about like, you know Elephant graveyards or bear graveyards where it's like these creatures hide their dead and they bury them So it's like maybe that's why we don't ever find any sort of evidence of them including like, you know, they bury their shit You know all the stuff and so they because they're aware of humans and don't want to be found by humans

Uh-huh, but so they hide everything about themselves and you know, maybe they're super nocturnal They're up in these like harder-to-reach mountain areas and all this stuff. Maybe they really hate American economic policies I just want to go in the woods. Yeah, they're off the grid. Yeah carve some words into a wall. Yeah They uh, yeah, exactly. They're they're giving out. Yeah, but then they should be in Prague smoking cigarettes in a cafe That's true. I mean if a sasquatch smokes a cigarette, I could just go up in any second That's a very dangerous tradition or a Addiction for them to have absolutely you can't yeah, I can't be around an open flame all the live long day Yeah, I

Think that I think that that maybe there's something to creatures being up and up in the in the mountains Yeah, but it's creatures. It's not aliens. I don't think it's aliens. What do you think about like it? What is it? The what's the other one the Yeti the Yeti yeah, so all of these cultures seem to have a sasquatch like mythology It seems very interesting unless they got together in some bizarre sasquatch Meeting pre-everybody so but but it's the same thing with aliens to say it's the same exact sort of Stories that have been passed through every single generation like that are that seem like they wouldn't be connected You know and a lot of people talk about you know, and they're a lot of these native people have

High amounts of respect for these creatures in terms of like they seem to be we know They call them wise men of the mountains. They call them was another term for them They're just very important to their worldview like all the time I forget this like there's a bunch of great names for him the sasquatch sasquatch It's got quakes. I think the lemons. They're they're called the loom the loom is the Brothers they're called the same quest the local version of populate. That is the loomy people That's down. That's down in the South Pacific

And then they called them wild men mm-hmm and hairy man and stuff like that evil something to it evil see evil Seekers very cool. And so there's also a lot of you know theories about them being Highly enlightened, you know, that's what they're saying about the yeti's and what the yeti's are So what are some of the things that the yeti's were enlightening man with well? It's not that what it was is they were living truly in peace with the earth and that what they're you know They were I think we talked about this once before on on the cast of course about the idea that there's like a belief that if if the earth is one gigantic living organism and that you know like humans like they say in yoga and shit like that You have a thing called a coon coon delini line

Which is like your power line that runs from your nuts to the top of your head Which is you and that's where your chakras and you're supposed to rely on your chakras and so that the earth itself Has a coon delini line like it has a chakra line Sounds like something you would limbo after Hello What are you a comedian? Hey shmuck That apparently but according to these coon elini lines that that's where they say it's like it runs through the Himalayas Which is like Buddhism is so it but why Buddhism came about and where Bigfoot like lives

And then he's up there living in peace communing with with Big pat like you know communing with what would be the god energy So who would you say is the most enlightened the yeti the Sasquatch or the Bigfoot? Oh The Yeti the Yeti no doubt, huh? Yeah, he hangs out and bet with all the monks and then the most primitive one The skunk a from Florida the skunk a Florida one. Yeah. Yeah, and then your Sasquatch watch Bigfoot That's just your middle class. Yeah, because he's probably eating bath salts Fucking sucking on a taco from Taco Bell, you know like sitting in his car like letting the car just run in the parking lot You know just like anybody in Florida not good bad for the environment

Or you know, and then or you know, the Bigfoot could be a plot of our government to make us afraid of our mountains Yes, that's a very good boy. I like it. Yeah, it's MK ultra. Yeah, I don't What's going on here MK ultra? How do you buy one? I wouldn't be surprised if you can't just bring MK ultra into everything Henry If you just I wouldn't say take a second look at that aurora footage All right, and tell me that you don't see a fucking Henry big there There is no big foot in the aurora footage. No, there's just a red-headed jackass. It's fine. I'm just saying oh And also no stone unturned

Bigfoot's are also called devil monkeys. Ah very very fun. I like it All right. Well, I feel like do every wrapped up our Bigfoot coverage. There's just so there I mean, there's a lot more around but it's just more of the same thing where you have another person say I saw an ape in the in the grass There was that cell phone video that we'll probably put up on the Facebook page And if anybody out there has seen a big foot or seen a sasquatch send in your footage Even if it's just a buddy in a tub, you know, whatever you are a big foot take a picture You are using a computer right now

Fucking take a picture yourself in photo booth. Yeah, and send it to us But send it to us privately at cave comedy radio gmail.com Don't post naked sasquatch pictures on the Facebook page because we will get shut down. Please do not please do not The other thing is that spike is offering a ten million dollar spike TV is offering a million dollar like ten million dollar bounty For anybody with proof of a big-foot body Oh, and really don't tell me we're gonna do it That's why these guys are all coming out of the fucking woodwork now You got two different big foot movies coming out. Oh, that's trying to get the money get that sweet money. I love it

Yeah, well, I want you to get that sweet money out there in LA as well, Henry Well, I miss both of your faces and I even miss the way that you smell Really? We miss you too on a scale of one to skunk ape. What do I smell like? Oh, you smell you're you're like a you're like a Recently laid-off businessman. Oh, that's not too bad You know, what about what about me zero to Yeti? I'd say you smell like a saddle in a cigarette store God damn it. That's a bet. That's the best compliment anyone's ever given me. I love that. I love that smell. I Know that smell. I know I do. I could read I can read you. Yeah, you can and know what you need to hear Well, that's very very nice and you smell like the inside of a carne asada steak

Thank you. It's just wonderful taste I'm fine with that and you should because they actually smell very good. You actually you don't actually smell so good It's difficult to mock your odor because you just smell like baby powder. You just like a freshly soiled diaper That's my goal. Yeah, it's so good. Oh Yeah, I go for I go for a comb liquid the blue clone comb liquid. That's nice Oh, if we do tonic not bad if we do ever run into a Sasquatch or a yeti or a big foot or a skunk ape We just got to teach him your techniques to overall cleanliness and they're gonna be out there looking for gainful employment before you know it I'm just gonna put them in a bathtub like that scene from Pretty Woman. Oh, it's gonna be great. Yeah, it'll be our little Pretty Woman

Yeah, that's wonderful. You can't do everything you want to do with him Henry keep your hands off the skunk ape Let me see him. Let me see your skunk ape tits. Don't stop shaving the skunk ape tip Henry's constantly shaving the tits out. Just want to see him. Yeah, I mean, I kind of want to see him, too Yeah, I do too. Um, well, all right, I guess we will leave you guys with that MacGoustellations MacGoustellations. MacGoustellations. Indeed. I'll me. How keen. Hail to yourself, everybody We will talk to you find a big foot get that cash get that sweet money Absolutely send it in and if you have big foot stories send them to us. We want to hear all about it. Oh, they're also called skookooms Yeah, that's my favorite skookooms. That sounds adorable

Sounds like an ice cream flavor. It is. It's just hair and body order. All right. Get out of that cherry Garcia You're sitting in I'll see you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye