Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 643: The Battersea Poltergeist Part I - The French Prince

Episode Date: November 21, 2025

This week, the boys open the dusty case file of the Battersea Poltergeist, embarking on a two-part tale that charts the story of an allegedly telekinetic young British girl & the rise of a mysterious paranormal presence whose knocks, voices, and messages crown him the so-called "Poltergeist Who Can Write" AKA The Poltergeist Prince AKA The Prince of Wycliffe Road. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

there's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left that's when the cannibalism started who was that yeah yeah because that's what i'm trying to adjust for this episode what because it's not fully enfield crooked feet Like, oh, oh, hey, hey, there's a ghost in the house. No, it's, I wish it was.

I know. This is way more like, again, like, sorry. Oh, I now interrupt your ghosting there. Oh, sorry. I just want to pop around. See, if you had a polter guy over here next door. Oh, no. That's fine.

Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt then. It's because you're classist. Because Infield is a working class, and this story is more middle class. Well, like, all of the people were surprisingly, like, not out of Alice in Wonderland's court that I'm used to. I think this is a fun story. I love a bunch of British knockers. We all do. We all do.

Welcome to the last podcast. On the left, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Class War Henry Zabrowski. Oh, sorry. Let me make sure. One check a bit of your British knockers here. Make sure they're all full of berries. called the doctor

We have Ed, British Knockers Larson with us as well Yeah, yeah, let me say your knuckles Yeah, who's he knocker? I don't like a knocker there I don't like British here Yeah, British he was in the beddy

I don't like it British and he kills sex workers Oh, good on me Anybody is he That is the real Jack the Ripper turned into some sort of mythological character Oh yeah

I did I didn't Can we subtitle this? Oh yeah I was like Oh good You're doing me I just feel like

The subtitles themselves would have to be blurred Today we are starting A two-part journey

Into the land of the spooky It's the Battersea Poultergeist Part one Welcome ladies and gentlemen You guys

were sick at Nazis Yeah We were sick of Nazis We wanted to come back with something a little more lighthearted. This is goofy. There's only one dead child in this whole series. Wow.

Last time we had millions. Millions. It's true. I took it down from millions to one. I heard you. I listened. I see you. But this is polter guy's tail.

I honestly view this as more of a carry. Yeah. It's carry. Yeah. It is carry. There's a lot of telekinesis involved. There's a definitely, you know, a young girl at the center of all this. But we'll, you know, of course, let people decide for themselves.

what they think about it. We don't care, actually. So in 1956, in the Battersea District of London, a 15-year-old girl named Shirley Hitchings began a 12-year association with a mischievous and sometimes violent poltergeist named Donald. But as opposed to other slow-burned poltergeist stories

that take months, if not years, to be told, this story broke incredibly quickly, and the coverage made both Donald and Schulte Shirley national sensations in the infamously obsessive British press. Now, while Donald the Poltergeist did indeed send objects flying through the air, and while it did drive Shirley's family to the brink of insanity with its incessant knocks and taps, the thing that set Donald apart from other poltergeist was his prolific communication with the world of the living. Through methods that were sometimes clear, sometimes mysterious, and sometimes very

silly... Very silly indeed. Donald the Poltergeist was a prolific writer of messages and letters to an almost overwhelming degree. As such, the main psychical researcher in this story, a man named Harold Chibbitt, made the messages Donald's central characteristic when Chibbett wrote about the case. The title Chibbett chose, however, was extremely underwhelming.

His book, which he spent years writing, he had years to come up with a title for this, was called The Poultergeist That Can Write. Well, don't worry, his previous book, do you ever read The Frankenstein that can set? It was very, very slow. I prefer the werewolf that can mount. Wait, it's different.

Well, this is 1956, after all. It's a good two decades before London's other infamous teenage girl poltergeist case, Enfield. So the paranormal community had not, in my opinion, found their flair for the dramatic because there are far better hooks to this story than Donald's fucking communication skills. Well, it's very indicative of the way. the British would go about investigating these stories. Very matter of fact. Very matter of fact.

And also, like, getting embedded. This is the guy, Harold Chibbitt, would be sort of the proto guy to be embedded amongst the family. And the Jeff the Mungu story, if you remember, which also took place two decades before this, that kind of like set a little bit of the flavor. Yeah. Of what could be like ghosty entertainment in the news in the UK. And they liked it.

But Jeff the Mungoos, sadly, never sat an old woman on fire. It's just a talking mongoose, right? It's just a talking mongoose. This one does a lot. Donald does a lot more shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jeff the Talking Mungoos said that he did it for the devilment. Donald the Poultergeist actually did it for the devilment. She did it.

Yeah. Man, I want to party with us talking mongoose. You do. You do. Jeff is cool, but the problem is that Jeff, he does tend to hang out with types like Donald. Yes. Well, as far as hooks go, Donald the Poultergeist was, as I mentioned, violent and sometimes dangerous. If you believe the stories, Donald was a pyromaniac, and the antics surrounding this haunting had dire real-world consequences.

See, even if the haunting was simply the machinations of a highly imaginative 15-year-old girl named Shirley, they still actively contributed to the death of Shirley Hitching's grandmother. Furthermore, as far as the poltergeist identity went, Donald ultimately claimed that he was the uneasy spirit of a a French prince who had drowned in the English channel after escaping the French Revolution following the guillotine execution of his father, King Louis the 16th. And concerning what Donald wanted,

his main motivation seemed to be to connect Shirley Hitchens with various young 1950s British TV actors with the ultimate goal of obtaining a starring role on a TV show for Shirley. But please, by all means, let's go with the poltergeist who can write. It should be the poltergeist that can talent

manage. Because that's incredible. Just by the idea of looking for our opportunities for your client in that way? Yeah, the lost... Ten some jack shit of that. The Lost Boy King. There's so many different titles and angles he could go with. The mysterious case of the fire-setting poltergeist.

That could also work, but no. Grandma killer inside Grandma's daughter. The fact that it's a prince is like the most unbelievable part of all of it to me. Sure. You know, just like, why is it always like, whenever you talk about the afterlife or like people's past lives, it's always like, you were Abraham. Ham Lincoln. It's never like you were just some dude. You know, I think that really comes from, as we'll talk about in this whole case, I think this story of all the various ghosting stories that we've covered is one that is an example

of psychic abilities gone rampant. And that I think you're seeing really the projections of a little girl and what they think about historical figures and what they find to be romantic and that we are, we'll cover, obviously, as we go. But who knows? Man, I just can't believe we're going to spend hours on the ramblings of a little girl I do it every night I pour over young Greta's journals looking for the key

to her heart You still think she's the Antichrist? No, I think Greta Turnburg is like I do think she's an antichrist but I think that's good Yeah Yeah, yeah Move it along, ladies and gentlemen

Let's get to the next year Moving to the next post Now for our source today we used a fascinating book called the Poultergeist Prince. Much better title. Yes. Very catchy. It was co-written by James Clark

and the person at the center of this entire haunting, Shirley Hitchings, who filled in the gaps for Clark decades after all this happened. The Poultergeist formerly known as Prince is right there. It's just like a symbol. That's like a little ghost. Yeah, that's right there.

It's just a Pac-Man ghost. That's incredible. Well, as of the Poltergeist Prince's release in 2017, Shirley was still maintaining that everything we're about to discuss was solely due to the attachment of an extremely active poltergeist named Dom. But, well, of course, as we said, leave it up to you to decide whether or not that was actually the case. I myself find this case to be extremely compelling. There's a lot of cool shit here.

It's got legs. It's very thick. Yeah. Now, unlike the tale of the infield poltergeist in which the hauntings victims were a working class single mother and her two daughters, The story of the Battersea Poultergeist occurred in the financially stable home of an only child. The address of the haunting, No. 63 Wycliffe, was said to be nice and typical, with a backyard and a converted air raid shelter left over from the London Blitz, which wasn't too long before all this happened.

By 1956, however, that shelter just held chickens. And that's why it's good because a lot of times you've got to make sure you get your chickens all prepped to work them for the wintertime because, you know, most chickens on Whitecliffe Street are, Gone till November. It's pronounced Wycliffe. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The great hero.

Wycliffe? I hope people called her Shirley Chickens. Yeah. Cute. Oh, no, that's Shirley Chickens out. No, Shirley Chickens, that man bought Shirley Chickens. Come on, I'm Shirley Chickens. You own Shirley Chickens.

Well, the two-floor home was occupied by 15-year-old Shirley Hitchens, her 51-year-old mother, Kitty, her 47-year-old father, Wally, and Wally's long-suffering 73-year-old mother, Ethel. Won't somebody kill me? I've seen two centuries now, and I think I'm done. It's been quite dramatic hundred years, and I certainly wish to exit this life. the hitchings also had a 20-year-old adopted son living at number 63 Wycliffe but this brother is largely missing from the Battersea poltergeist story because he absolutely refused to speak about or even acknowledge the haunting while it was happening nor did he talk about it to anyone afterward i'll fucking know these people

this is understandable because as it goes almost any time someone claims that a spirit is communicating with the world of the living, this story does get incredibly silly from time to time. Don't believe the movies, when a spirit actually communicates with people, it's always kind of stupid. Yes, and the ramifications of going to the media and telling the world that this stupid stuff

is happening inside of your home and you're taking it seriously makes the whole world destroy your family. And that's why he's very understandable. He might not want to be involved. My problem with, like, Ouija boards and all that shit, I just don't believe that ghosts remember at a spell. They don't need to.

Well, we'll actually address that later on in the story. I mean, basically, this story is Enfield meets Jeff the talking mongoose. Except in this case, instead of a foul-mouthed weasel, the communicating spirit was an aggressive teenage French prince from the 1700s obsessed with young heartthrob celebrities. As he would be. Possibly, quite possibly, yeah. A French prince, the level of gay you become as a French prince must be incredible. I just can't wait until we finally do the French Revolution.

We can get all of your thoughts on the French just out in the open. I just think about it, just like him covered in creams, the little beauty mark drawn on his face. How old is he supposed to be the French prince? 15. 15, man. To sound like an asshole, I don't care. Nothing's more annoying to me than French. spoken by children.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all, like, you think you're fucking better than me. When you hear it at Disney, they're like, Mama, Mama, Missilepo, like, shit the fuck up. Oh, Miss baby, little French child. Oh, fuck you, buddy. Yeah, fucking speak English like a real baby. Mama, Mama, shi lepa, sulepa.

Oh, what are you going to do? You're going to rape the president of France or something? God knows what you do. You do. Now, there was really nothing out of the ordinary about the hitching family. But in January of 1956, the haunting kicked off when Shirley mysteriously found a key in her bed that didn't fit any of the locks in their home. A few days later, the tell-tale knocks and taps that signify the beginning of a poltergeist haunting began.

The noises faded during the day but returned in the evening and were sometimes paired with scratching that sounded as if something with claws was trying to break through. Santa Claus. Sorry. Sure. Eventually, the noises became so loud and all-pervasive that the family was kept awake night after night,

but the majority of the taps, knocks, and scratches were clearly coming from the bedroom of the Hitching's 15-year-old daughter, Shirley. Mnarsh. Oh, Shirley was more or less the archetype of the haunt. Do you get, have you got all your Monarch out? That's all I did. I just said it one.

I just said it one time. I know. She's probably had five Menarshes at this point. You can only have one Monarch. Well, I'd claim it. Isn't that the definition? I thought the Menarch is the first one. Vinash is the Sturt pistol.

Yeah. To being miserable. So you can only have one by definition. Yeah. Surely it can't be a Monarch. Ha! Thank you. Now we're getting back to be a classic.

But Shirley was more or less the archetype of the haunted 15-year-old girl. Physically, she was slim and pretty with. dark hair, while her personality was described as quiet and shy, but extremely high strong. She was also imaginative, and like her poltergeist Donald, Shirley was obsessed with young TV actors. Shirley, however, struggled in school, because the other thing Shirley shared with Donald was that they both seemed to be dyslexic. See, as I said, Donald was the poltergeist who writes, and it just so happened that Donald and Shirley both tended to flip letters in the words they wrote. Yeah, it didn't say the poltergeist who writes well.

No, no, it's just the baltic guys do right. They just rights. For example, they spell the word what, W-A-H-T, instead of W-H-A-T. What? What? As far as Shirley's parents went, they also appeared to be archetypes straight from a British B movie. Like, I could see them, I could see Christopher Lee showing up somewhere in this story. Shirley's father, Wally, he was a straight-laced steam engine driver and a train conductor.

But kitty... I go to chew, too, but I will not go woo-woo. It's extremely important. To one must remain one's composure when driving the two-tru train. Unfortunately, I have murdered accidentally six train spotters this month. We must be all time. Remove yourself from the tracks. But Shirley's mother, Kitty, she was described as elderly at the age of 51. Due to a crippling case of arthritis, Kitty hobbled around the Hitching's home on walking sticks.

both parents however were strict adherent to the teachings of the church of england and had no knowledge of spiritualism or the paranormal prior to this haunting in fact wali was certain that the taps and knocks had a physical explanation when they began believing they were most likely due to faulty electrical wiring in the house to be a strict adherent to the teachings of the church of england is that like being like a huge like soccer fan in canada or something like they're in england but it's like kind of it's the low rents one, right? Is there like the low, like what is the commitment to the Church of England? The Church of England is the same church that the Queen adheres to, the same church that many people just get rolled in and go and then get rolled out. Yeah, it's like no divorce. You can't have divorce. That was a big thing.

Is that the King James Bible? Was that officially Church of England? I don't know. Yeah, we'll say it is. Move to our confidence. Also, roll forward like the trains boss roo. Also, if there's a lot of knocking in your house and you're like, oh, it's just the

faulty wiring. You've got to check that out. Well, then being a part of the Church of England, I actually think it's a really important part to the story. Oh, I bet. Because, you know, they are haunted by this poltergeist. It does, and it torments them for 12

years, but being a part of the Church of England, it makes them very reticent to use any methods that may be deemed as Catholic. So they're not. by the fucking bulls there. Yeah, so they can't, they're not going to be bringing in a priest to take care of any exorcism.

They're going to keep calm and carry on throughout the whole fucking thing. You should be good out there. You enjoy yourself a bit of a roach that ball. King James Bible, English translation commissioned by the Church of England. Fuck yeah. So, yes. Yes. Now, after ruling out electrical

problems, he looked into it immediately. Wally and Kitty naturally began blaming their daughter Shirley for the noise. To test her, they forced Shirley to Keep her hands where they could see them. They could stare at her. But the noises continued without any apparent movement from the teenage girl. I'm showing you my wrist-tops, Daddy.

I'm showing you everything I've got. Well, flabbergasted, while he began talking about the noises to his co-workers, and amongst his fellow train conductors, was a spiritualist and amateur medium in his 50s named Harry Hanks. And so, when Hanks's hobby suddenly appeared before him in the real world, he quickly volunteered to drive away whatever was causing the disturbance. Never

tell anybody at your work that your home is haunted. Yeah. Because every time, there will always be one. There will always be, you're going to see fucking Patty from accounting show up with all of her gems. You know, being like, well, you know, I am

a Reiki master. You know, like you're going to get deeply involved with a co-worker that's going to ruin your life. We need a medium. We don't have one in the office. I got a bunch of them. I can call them. Well, employ one is what I'm saying.

Amber says she sees ghosts every third day. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees a ghost. Every time she thinks of a memory of her childhood. Yeah, she sees ghosts. We got enough psychics and mediums on call. We don't need one on staff. No. All right.

Well, Wally agreed to let Harry Hanks help. So Harry arrived at No. 63 Wycliffe in February of 1956, about a month after the haunting began. This visit, however, is the only time I've ever heard of a paranormal enthusiast bringing along his wife and daughter, because paranormal investigation was apparently a Hank's family affair. That's nice. Normally, it's a super weird loner. Like, truly.

And usually families aren't like into all into like paranormal investigation together. That's usually like the family hobby. Usually it's camping. Yeah, or getting together and killing another family. Also, I'm picturing Tom Hanks covered in hair Just so everyone else can do the same thing You got it, thank you. Harry Hanks.

So you're picturing Tom Hanks In the head to toe Third act of castaway Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I want hair on his forehead Like he's fucking... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tom Hanks, the dog face boy, yeah, yeah.

Hey, how you do, buddy? He's trying to figure out of Tom Hanks' impression. Hey, hey, hey, how you do, buddy? Is there a Tom Hanks impression? That's it. Okay, thanks. from your grave. The Harry Hanks and his family

performed a couple of seances with the intent of clearing the house of lost spirits. But as it often happens, the activity would stop when the Hanks family arrived and resume only after they left. The Hitchings family, meanwhile, were already at their wits end due to lack of sleep.

Tensions were running high, so in an attempt to lighten things up, they made what is considered a grave mistake in the paranormal community. Pun intended? They may guess very much. intended. They killed the children.

They made what? Actually, if the pun is truly intended, I have to deliver it in the right way. They made what is considered a grave mistake. Thank you. A claim like they made it. Get out of here, sir.

Sir, you get out of here. You get away from this man. He's not a woman. You get away from me. It doesn't matter what he looks like just because he has a waist under 36 inches. He's not a woman. He's going to tell you his name, Shirley Chickens. It's not. It's not. Well, they gave the poltergeist a name.

In fact, they gave it two names. Sometimes they call it Charlie Boy. Other times, they'd refer to the spirit. One of my favorite ghost names I've ever heard as spooky willie. Yep. Boy, I'm all spooky Willie. Now, the voice you're doing, now that's spooky Willie. That's Prince Andrew's penis.

But after they named this power, whatever it was, the knocks and taps only grew louder, and the noises were sometimes so intense, the neighbors claimed to have heard them from several houses away. Now, as I mentioned earlier, the Battersea Poulter guy story got very intense, very quickly. The tapping reportedly attached itself to Shirley and followed her outside of the home,

and according to many accounts, the noise, whatever it was, it followed Shirley wherever she went. This is one of those parts of this case that makes it extremely compelling. Yeah. It was everywhere she went. Yeah. And I know that it's like, yeah, obviously it's centered around her. But that's what I'm saying, this is psychic-ass shit.

Yeah, I mean, she'd go on the bus and people would hear the tap. She'd go to work. People would hear the tape. No matter where she was. Yeah. Well, for example, when Shirley went to her job as a dress cutter at a London department store, the tapping was heard there too. But interestingly, the tapping was not seen by her coworkers as an annoying prank being pulled by a teenager.

Instead, the noises terrified the other ladies that Shirley worked with. Shirt, a dress cutter? Dress cutter, yeah. Yeah, like, just show up. Could you remove the breasts from the shirt, please? Yeah, yeah. Slice, side, side, psych, psych. Well, things got worse when the polter guys took a liking to a certain pair of scissors at the department store.

Those scissors would reportedly move around on their own. And the activity thus became so distracting that Shirley was asked to take some time off work to figure out her, quote-unquote, troubles. But as it often goes, the haunting only escalated after Shirley's life began falling apart. In late February, Shirley reported that she was in bed when she felt her sheets being yanked away from her. She called for her father, Wally, who tried tugging them back, but his efforts were reportedly met with an unknown force pulling the sheets in the other direction. Get right with right, fall away. One, two, have quite the effort. Well, suddenly, Shirley went fully rigid

Before she was lifted up Once lifted, she began floating in the air Just six inches above her bed This story, however, was Wally's recollection Of what happened that night, best as I can tell. As Shirley remembered it, Her head and feet stayed on the bed While her back arched upward

As if a force was pushing her to do so All while she cried out that she could not, No matter how hard she tried, straighten herself out again. But either way, remember, this is 1956. All this shit, like you hear it, you think, oh yeah, you know, I've seen floating above the bed a million times,

I've seen the creepy arch, you know, that people do when they're supposed to be possessed. This is long before these sorts of stories became tropes in the worlds of horror or in the worlds of the paranormal. Largely, it's why they became tropes. Yeah. So while there are certainly things in this story

that very well could have been cries for attention from a high, strong, imaginative teenager, other incidents like this one are more compelling. But, of course, how compelling you find all of this depends on if you believe the people involved. Or it could be cries for attention from a high, strong, imaginative teenager who also is psychic. Like, literally, like, what happens? What happens if, you know, when Kerry's in a bad mood, everybody dies? Yeah, yeah.

That's the most infuriating thing about the paranormal is that, you know, two things can be true at once, is that there can be something paranormal going on and the person can be lying about it. There could be human shenanigans as well. Yeah. Yeah. What do we know about Papa Wally here? I mean, I know he works.

She literally was desperately trying to just be a train conductor. Yeah, he's just a regular dude. Yeah. So, I mean, that's what's, you know, because now that he's involved in the sheet pulling thing, she obviously couldn't have been doing that. So this is... Yeah, I mean, and that's again, like,

if you believe that people involved, it's like, in order for all of this to make sense as a hoax, you would have to believe that Wally was also either lying or wildly hallucinating it or orchestrating it. But he has, as we'll see, there's absolutely no reason for them to orchestrate this. Now, the British are nothing, if not a nation of gossips. So the Battersea Poultergeist became a constant subject of discussion in the neighborhood where the Hitchings lived within weeks of the first occurrence. Yeah, it's juicy as fuck. Yeah.

Once the public showed interest, the ever-invasive British media arrived just. two months after it all began, and by March, Wally Hitchings was allowing pretty much any reporter who knocked on his door to come inside his home. In response to the attention, though, the Battersea Poultergeist actually got more active, throwing clocks and lamps to the ground or knocking over chairs. But once the reporters started asking the family questions, they found that while Wally and Kitty Hitchens were God-fearing button-up Brits, Shirley's grandmother Ethel was the witchier member of the family. Answer your questions, three.

Yes, nothing's bad in this home. The cock of a noot. I have 12. Actually, could you run out to this store and grab me four more? Cots of the noots. I get nervous when I get below 15. I need 20 cocks of the noots. Well, at 73 years old, Ethel proudly told,

reporters that during her previous job working at a hospital, she had been able to see the misty essence of a soul leave a patient's body when they died. I suck it through a straw. Additionally, Ethel also claimed to see the ghost of her dead husband in her bedroom from time to time. As far as the current haunting went, though, Ethel swore that she'd seen clothes and shoes fly across the room on their own volition and that hangers on the wall had mysteriously detached themselves and fall into the ground.

In other words, whether, as I said, whether the haunting was a tall tale, a shared delusion, or a genuine paranormal phenomenon, the adults in the Hitching's house were all in on this from the very start. Could have been shitty hangers. I mean, it could have been shitty everything. It's shitty everything. Yeah, England in 1956 was not a super nice place to live. It's been hastily rebuilt since the Blitz. Oh, God, not even close to being rebuilt. It's mostly just rubble everywhere.

For like decades. And I imagine it did, yeah, it's, I mean, who knows? I certainly did their best. But so far, yes. Everything could be mostly just British contracting. Yeah. But we will get there. And this happens, though.

You know, I always tell Julie to stay away from my flying shoes. You know, that's the thing. You know, I've paid more for that, you know? So it's like, stay away from my flying shoes. They're going to fly around the room. And if you get near them, they're going to hit you. Where do you think my flying shoes are supposed to go? Yeah.

I said in my vows, when we got married, that you're going to have to take me and my flying shoes. That's my flying shoes. Now you want to go back on the promise, huh? And he just puts your shoes on the stands in the backyard, just going, whee-sh!

I got to lose weight. My flying shoes aren't working anymore. That's fucking stupid. The press ate up. Every detail the Hitchings gave them. They published every word the Hitchings uttered

and they eventually settled on Spooky Willie as the better of the two names for the spirit was haunting number 63 Wycliffe. That's who I would have voted for. Yeah. Spooky Willie or was the Charlie like upchuck Charlie? We already forgot the other one. Yeah, yeah. Charlie boy. Yeah, yeah. No one wants Charlie boy, but everyone's going to hang out with spooky

Willie. Wouldn't you want to vote for spooky Willie for like House of Representatives? Like there's something about like meeting being like, hi, my name's spooky. But the one thing that's not spooky is my legislation. That's all I'd love to find a guy to cheat all the time. Spooky

Willie. Libertarian Party chair. Kid. Kid, tax a ghost. Well, before long, one reporter got the idea that he could set himself apart from the pack by attempting to communicate with the spirit using knocks. One knock for no, two knocks for

yes, and three knocks for I don't know. After working their way through standard questions like, can we help you? And some surprisingly direct questions like, are you evil? Great question. He said no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and evil people never lie. No.

Are you evil? Yes, I am. That'd be fucking terrifying. I am. Oh, yeah, man. Yes, I am. British Band. I actually did think, like, when I was wondering if, like, Diamond Head was reading the newspaper that day. Am I evil?

I am, man. Well, the reporter eventually learned that Spooky Willie was actually Shirley Hitching's great-grandmother who died in 1916, or at least that's what Spooky Willie was claiming. Spooky Wilma. Yeah. Yeah, Spooky Way, old day, sons, Crable. The next Sunday, though, the spirit amended its identity, and not for the last time.

While communicating directly with the Hitchings family, the spirit next claimed to be a boy named Ronald that Shirley had played with as a little girl. Ronald, however, had moved overseas with his family, and, as the polter guys claimed, he had subsequently died and returned as a ghost. Since the story was already being covered in multiple outlets, the press immediately tracked down this Ronald character. He was indeed a real person. But when he was found alive and well,

and not haunting a 15-year-old girl in Battersea London... Well, not as a ghost. Something interesting happened. Nobody really knows how, but the poltergeist name soon morphed from Ronald to Donald. The only explanation we could find, was that for some reason, Kitty Hitchings thought it was hilarious to call this spirit Donald Duck. But nobody knows why she called him that, or even why she thought it was funny.

But after Shirley's childhood friend Ronald was found alive, both the press and the Hitching family quietly began calling the spirit Donald without giving a reason. But regardless of why, the poltergeist took the name permanently, and for the next 12 years, he was known as Donald, the poltergeist. It sounds like Donald said yes to the name And then once they started calling him Donald The way I kind of interpreted it It almost kicked up activity in a way And they would like learn to do Because like they're all sitting

They're building a tulpa They're all sitting in a house If you really want to believe in some woo-woo part Of the story at all They're building a tulpa inside the house Their feet whatever like whatever psychic energy Was created here If you believe in that

They're just sitting there and feeding it. And there are people constantly coming into the house, reporters, feeding it. And not just that. The reporters are then taking what they're feeding it, and they're publishing it in London. And, you know, thousands upon thousands of people are reading this every day, giving more power to it. You know, and it just keeps increasing. And once you become a ghost, you can really start to reinvent yourself. Yeah.

Most of the guy's formerly known as Prince. He's Jehovah's Witness in heaven. The Spooky Willie thing ain't working. I was working with Ronald for a little. bit, but then I talked to my manager, we're going with Donald. Yeah, what's his name? Was it that mankind used to be Hacksaw, Jim Duggan,

or one of the... Cactus Jack. And dude love. Yeah, they change. All the time. People change. Now, it was obvious to everyone involved that this spirit wanted to communicate. So the Hitchings family ended up making a kind of homemade Ouija board with pen and paper so they could actually get answers beyond

yes or no. After writing out all the letters of the alphabet, they could move their finger from letter to letter until they heard a knock. And with each knock came a letter. That letter was written down until it spelled a word. And then finally, they would end up with a full message. So boring!

This tedious technique became the main method of communication that Donald the Poltergeist would use to communicate with the Hitchings family, the press, and various paranormal investigators over the next 12 years. Sometimes while objects were actively being thrown around in the very room while they were taking the message, Sometimes they would have to duck while they were listening to Knox, or at least, so they say. Well, it's probably they picked the wrong letter.

It's like, go fuck yourself. I said, N, not M. M, as in Mary. But, no, I wonder, this is one of those things about the story, is that there's so much activity. Yeah. And it's all these reporters going in and saying they're getting things. I do believe they would have tried anything to debunk it as well. They all love exposing liars.

Everybody loves exposing liars. So they're in the state. And they're really just watching these zip around a house, but it almost becomes like they're used to it. Yeah, it does. They do describe it as becoming routine very quickly. Yeah. Now, in full messages began to be passed from the spirit world to our own, the interest in the press only got larger. And the typical sleaze that is inherent within the British press increased with the attention.

One paper, the South London advertiser, ran a story that the poltergeist was actually an undead suitor, whose ultimate goal was to marry the 15-year-old Shirley. But even though that story is fucking stupid, the people of London loved any story about Donald the Poultergeist. But the more the story was reported in the press, the more that regular people would show up to the Hitching's home to see what they could see. So many people showed up that Wally would sometimes have to chase them off his lawn himself

amidst a storm of piss-offs and leave us alone. It's interesting that it's very common. even more than an American society, it almost feels like, for everybody to show up at a haunting in the UK. Yeah, they just like to go look at it. Just look at the house. Sometimes I'll go and knock on the door and you're like, come in. Do you think that's because they have, like, kings and queens and stuff that they feel like ghosts are, like, their friends or their relatives?

Like, they actually can go and see a ghost and be like, oh, yeah, I don't know on it, and, like, throw something at it. This is 1956. This is back when the royal family was still very much apart. That's what I mean. I don't think so. I think at this point they're just haunting is very much

hauntings are very much a part of the culture I think yeah I guess I guess you're just so many people die there yeah

of like everything it's an extraordinarily haunted country yeah there's thousands of years of ghosts there and it's a little it's like a little island

and it's all filled with the the secrets of the Celts yeah America's just got a couple hundred years of ghosts yeah

but man we made up for lost time we really didn't it really did it although Gettysburg oh now Not as a nice of a pile of ghosts there.

Now, not to derail us too much, but didn't we cover something on side stories that all the ghosts in England are, like, dying because there's too old? They're talking about stuff like the Borely rectory. These certain famous ghosts are sort of going away. They are saying that they don't really understand why. And they are, part of, partly, they do believe that they are, there's something to the idea of a battery is running out. And then it gets refilled. I'm still down with my theory that it's a Wi-Fi that's killing the ghosts

Why-Fi and electricists Because if we are electromagnetic beings And maybe if there is some sort of You know electromagnetic element to ghosts or hauntings Or something like that Wi-Fi is not going to be kind to it Yeah, it's not It's really going to fuck things up

If you ask like people used to see ghosts all the time Why don't we see them anymore You know why is it that everybody has a phone in their pocket and yet there is, you know, nobody can catch anything, you know, on camera. It's possible that they just, they've all gone away. That was just one dial-up. Yeah, because that's actually my biggest fear is that when we die in the past, that our souls wouldn't have some sort of collective unconsciousness,

but now when we die, our souls just sort of get trapped and scrambled by the electricity in the air. Unless you get buried in a casket made out of carbon fiber. Yeah, that's only if you die in a casket. made it you got to be buried alive in it that's what i'm going to do to me or to you no i'm going to get my ghosts off the grid hell yeah that's the only way to do i'm going to be a sovereign citizen ghost it's the only way to do that but also i feel like this might reach out if you go visit the borley rectory with your family will you please tragically kill them in a way that leaves a lot of unfinished business and bring some tourism back to the borley rectory yeah please do but there was a

paradox with Wally talking to the press. Because while Wally would chase off looky-lose any chance he got, he seemed to say yes to pretty much any media request, and every bit of media coverage only brought more people to his home. Surely was even featured in a segment on the BBC. And while you might begin thinking at this point that the Hitchings were angling for cash here, that appearance on the BBC gave them the only profit they ever gained over the course of this 12-year affair. The Hitchings family were never paid by reporters for any of the newspaper articles and for the BBC segment, which aired just a couple of months after all this began, and, you know, and the whole thing lasted for 12 years

after that, Shirley was paid just three pounds, which is the modern equivalent, about 85 bucks. But I think this is a telling a little detail about this story and the fact that most of the time when the people report to the news that they see a ghost, right? Like all of this kind of flurry of activity happens and then you kind of see it die out a lot of the times right like you see them kind of like have a moment and then a lot of times the the person that's the center of the activity ages out but this one just keeps going yeah past the point of it making any form of sense for you to keep fucking talking yeah and three pounds was the weight of the BBC oh oh that's if you include the balls we took you to England

we took you there I didn't watch the fucking news He was afraid They were making gay He's like an entire channel Dedicated to BBC I gotta hide my wife's eyes How long how much blood is in this sausage

Now the story It's somewhat leveled off by the end of February And the answer is a lot of blood in the sausage Give me more blood in the sausage Make it grainier I want it grainyer Give me some mushrooms Give me some beans

I like the white. But when the story somewhat leveled off at the end of February, two reporters decided to up the stakes by pressuring Wally and Kitty into allowing Harry Hanks to perform an exorcism on Donald the Poultergeys. Remember, Harry Hanks is, he's just some guy from work. Yeah, I got he's doing. They agree. But Hanks, for some reason, decided that it was better if the exorcism was done from the comfort of his own home,

located about a mile and a half away from number 63 Wichler. We're going to want him. want to do this in my home, exorcism dojo? Okay? I want to do this in my home. And if you could, could you just send over your teenage daughter? Don't come with her. Just send her alone, please.

In my home. Leave her shoes. Since paranormal investigation was, as I said, a family affair for Harry Hanks, he performed the exorcism with his wife and his daughter, along with a clairvoyant and a spiritualist. Shirley was also present, although she only observed the exorcism to come. seemingly making it up as they went along the exorcists held hands and sang a couple of hymns

like they sang onward Christian soldiers then they fell into silent prayer suddenly though Harry's wife entered a trance and began shaking Harry soon entered a trance as well contorting his face and waving his arms around like a madman a loud knock then came at the door and when they opened it they found the police who had gotten an anonymous tip

that a black magic ritual was being performed at that address. What's a rest of a reason? What's already seen? Hey, we're looking for a wizarding. We're looking for baby with scoffering. It's me. Smokieweeweewee.

Spooky wheeling. Spooky whewis. Oh, yeah. Hey, you're going to not? Who calls the cops on a black magic ritual and what cops come out for that? An old British bitch. Is it even illegal? No.

Well, yes. Yes, it is. That was a part of the... Oh, that's right. Witchcraft was a... illegal in the UK until what like yeah the 50s right like the 80s they went through

a whole thing because that was with the high gate vampires that also came out too like they literally it was very illegal these are like old shit so one day there was a dude in British Parliament just like you know what we need to legalize witchcraft yeah he probably came in the mouth of a goth woman the night before and realized what he fucking did

and he had to figure it all out listen guys we don't need to legalize this witchcraft I don't know because if we just lock me up Well, after observing what was going on for just a few minutes, the police decided that this was all harmless. Oh, he's stupid then. They gave Harry the go-ahead to resume,

so the exorcism picked back up where it left off. Harry Hanks once again began shaking violently, but unexpectedly, Harry's consciousness was very suddenly overtaken by a so-called African Spirit Guide. Oh, boy. Yeah. See, this was England in 1956, so the African Spirit Guide

had the incredible racist name of Sambo. Oh, boy. And Harry Hanks, a white British train conductor in his 50s, began speaking in an over-the-top black guy voice. Eddie, please provide the example. I really wish I could have seen him. We all would.

We all do. Everybody would have been super happy. With it being like, all right, then, you want to make like a tree and leave, man. You, you, you, you, your crass-ass, motherfucker, how long was Father Wally? How long was he just like, all right, how, you know, I'm just going to sit here and watch this and be polite for a while? This is the style of thing, though. Like, we always joke about, like, the Zeno reveal and stuff like that. These guys are so serious.

Like, Wally's so serious that these guys are, that's what's awesome. about this scene, is the fact that it is deadly serious. Yeah. And he is talking in a full on, like, black face, like talking at the family. He's using a minstrel show black man. And they're taking it

deadly seriously. They're all sitting in like, I hope my daughter lives. It's wonderful. But before long, Harry, speaking as Sambo, he declared the exorcism was a success. The spirit haunting shirley... And how would that sound? The spirit haunting Shirley had been driven away,

and Sambo had placed a psychic barrier around Shirley to protect her from future hauntings. This being England, they then all had tea, and Shirley went home satisfied. Now, it seemed like the exorcism would work, because there were no knocks or taps that night. The Hitchings, therefore, slept for the first time in almost two months, and it might have all been settled then and there,

if not for the meddling of the British media. See, there were two reporters from a paper called the Week male who were convinced that Shirley had fabricated the entire story. And so they arrived at the Hitching's house the day after the exorcism to convince Wally and Kitty to let them take Shirley to a hypnotist. And they said the hypnotist is going to get to the bottom of this whole story. You remember this also happened at Enfield? Yes. They do this too. They do a lot of bringing little girls into a room alone with a hypnotist. They really love it. Now Wally and Kitty agreed to the reporters ask, although no reason is given why. Perhaps it was because hypnotism was

getting a lot of positive press in England in the 1950s. And the hypnotist that the reporters had picked was indeed a recognized member of the British Society of Medical Hypnitists. Apparently, the British Society of Medical Hypnotists had been founded by the same man who had been responsible for the passing of the Hypnotism Act of 1952 in British Parliament,

which had set regulatory standards for using hypnosis in medical practice. So, for Wally and Kitty, this probably all seemed like it was on the up and up. A one, a two, a three. your knees are now your feet One, two, three, your ears are now your lips And as you can all now see

Charlottons such as this is why we need regulation In the hypnotism industry Okay, now bark like a cat But as it turned out, taking Shirley to a hypnotist was the wrong move Shirley refused to relax when the hypnotist told her to And she wouldn't watch the pendulum he was swinging Look at the goddamn pendulum

I don't know why you won't fucking relax You set the meeting with me God damn it relax Look at my eyes Come down She also constantly fidgeted She patted her face to stay awake So all the so-called hypnosis standards

utterly failed that day Wow But because Shirley was so uncooperative The reporters who had brought her to the hypnotist gave up the story as a bust and drove Shirley home. But that night, the knocking and tapping returned louder than ever. In a

framed photograph was even flung across the room where it struck Kitty Hitchings in the back. Supposedly it was flung completely of its own volition nobody was around. What was the picture of? Didn't say. I wondered too, but they didn't say. It really is. No, you didn't say. There's lots of pictures. Unless it's probably

a train. Yeah. Probably something like, you know, British people? Never bring your come home with you. See, right? Yeah, it's been like, would you be sick of trains? I'm like, when you see a boat? Yeah, like, if you were to walk around my house,

like, I don't think you'd say that, like, oh, because my house, it's not like it's all like chains and blood and bones. There's some bones, but not a lot. No more than, like, the average man. I think that I'm frightened just by the vibe of it. Yeah. Of your home.

Yeah. But for me, same. You're coming to my home. What do you expect to see in my home? You have a ghost in your home. I do. Yeah. I also do have a lot of scary imagery.

Yeah, your home's actually upsetting. That's the idea. The children cry in your home. Good. When I had to explain to the children that the cheddar goblin was like our friend. I think it helps. By the estimation of Harry Hanks, the two reporters and the hypnotist had demolished the protective aura that his African spirit guide Sambo had placed around Shirley.

Oh, yes, that magical, wow, I'm certain. Yeah, a second exorcism, however, proved to be unsuccessful. And eventually, Harry Hanks, who, again, is just... So then he got to the Asian guy, right? And then he did the Asian guy. Then they did the whole, man, I can't wait until they got to. Because once he did the Italian, German, Japanese, like, that's funny. Well, eventually, Harry Hanks, who, again, is just some guy who worked with Shirley's dad.

He's a trade conductor. He decided. A deeply racist trade conductor. I thought I also realized he's probably trying all the voices while he's doing the announcements on the train. So, you know what? Oh, fuck. I can't do any of them. That's all right.

I'm sorry, buddy. It's good to do. No, it's good. Yeah, yeah. It's self-control. It's good. Well, Harry Hanks eventually decided that Shirley was a natural medium who had attracted a second earthbound entity.

Now, Shirley was convinced that the spirit haunting her was still Donald, still the same old poltergeist. But Harry Hanks sat this teenage girl down and tried to convince her that she was being actively haunted by the spirit of an adult woman from the neighborhood who had died. in a horrific suicide years earlier. She was so sad that her breasts were too large. So imagine that this train is men is 50 sitting there like a little girl that. Now, unfortunately, I do have to tell you that you are being haunted by the ghost of suicide.

And I really want you to accept that. That there's a woman that is haunting a room who has died by suicide. And what I need you to know is that her soul was absolutely so disparate. So absolutely filled with malaise. She ran a razor-a-cost-a-cott-Rin-Arry And allowed the blood to sleep forward Just became a green rotting corpse Now her spirit lies in this fairy room

Let me get my drums Excuse me The chuchu is calling actually I'm super late Chutu sitting at the session Harry's exorcisms however Stopped when Harry decided that Shirley's psychic abilities Were simply too strong And until she got her powers under control

she was likely to keep attracting new spirits just as soon as he got rid of the old ones. Sambo here was powerless. Right from your grave. Now, by March, the two skeptical reporters from the Weekend Mail had settled on an angle to discredit Shirley Hitchings. See, one of Shirley's hobbies was ballet,

and like most ballerinas, she'd developed a deformed hammer toe. And for some reason, during the visit to the hypnotist, the reporters had insisted that Shirley remove her shoes. Yeah, it's weird. I don't know if they had a Maybe they had a hunch about the hammered toe, but they said like, if this is going to work,

right, you've got to take off your shoes. Well, we know that this is all connected back to the Fox Sisters. That's where it came from with the shoes. Ah, I didn't know that. Yes, because of they famously faked tapings and knockings using the joints of their feet, of their toes. Right. Well, the thing is, the reporters had seen Shirley's deformed big toe.

They're like, I know, I know that big old toe. make a big old ghost noise And we know that hammers knock Yeah And they'd noticed that the toe Made a loud cracking sound Whenever Shirley moved it According to the reporters

The cracking of her big toe sounded just like the taps Supposed supposedly being made by Donald the Poltergeist So these stalwarts of journalism published a full article About this teenage girl's ugly foot Entitled it

Spook was in girls' big toe Girls love that shit Nothing helps a 15 year old girl's life. Yeah. Then focusing on her ugliest part in the news. Yeah, full

front page newspaper articles. Of your worst part of your body. Yeah. It was all just like, Henry Zabrowski's belly button is a mess. Do you see his belly button caused what's happening in Gaza? And also, he's a liar.

But rather than kill the polter guy's story, the toe angle only introduced more intrigue and speculation, which of course made the story even bigger. Now you had something to argue about. Is it a big toe? Is it real? And after the so-called big-toe story, no less than 12 newspapers were reporting on the Battersea poltergeist. And amongst all the reporters working on the story was a dashing young man named Michael Kirsch. Now, since Shirley was just 15, she was pretty quick to develop crushes, and she started crushing on Michael Kirsch soon after he started reporting on the story.

Michael, in turn, realized that if he gave Shirley extra attention, if he nurtured this crush a little bit, he might be able to get a few more details that could give him a scoop on Shirley's Spector. I'll tell you what, if you're how I wish I was a nail, to be subject to your hammer toe. I'd love your delicious little horrible crooked feet. never never help a 15 year old's crush on you no no never don't cultivate that not for a story in the news but on the other hand as we all know british journalists have no ethics it's yeah you know it's they're a little bit more adventurous over there what is wrong with them yeah they've got different rules and those rules are no rules like there it's like it's like it's a go hard as hard and as fast as you can

to get the story no matter what. Like they are, God damn, the British press are vicious. And so, right around the same time that the Big Toe article was published, Donald the Poultergeist communicated its longest message yet. This message recorded letter by letter using the homemade Ouija board would mark the beginning of a barrage of letters

dictated through taps by Donald. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the blast of time. Stupid poltergeist. Now, this first big letter was somewhat nonsensical, but it did have some clues as to what the motivation for this whole thing was and where the poltergeist story would eventually go. It read, quote, and please, Henry, verbatim.

I am 15. I come from France. Lost in Channel cannot remember nine. I had a girl like you. Donald is not aware of me. I want someone to tell him. I want a happiness between you two. It's French.

Excuse me in French. You don't go to Italian. I want happiness between you two. I won't go till I made it, sir. Really delicate balance. Let me go. You got to keep going. Let me go happy by telling Ronald or me, but not tell his family.

He must keep me a secret between you and me and to himself. Give this to curse. Let no one see it. Get curse. You, but keep a secret. If give to father, be angry and set fire. Whoa! Yeah.

Now, the important points of that message were that the ghost came from France. He comes from France. Yeah, he comes from France, like the cone heads. He's going to set fire. He's going to set fire to something. If his instructions are followed, it's going to be fire. And finally, it wanted the letter given only to the handsome young reporter Michael Kirsch. And I want you to further that up, and I want you to place it ever gently, sir, into his front pocket so that the message can touch the shaft of his penis.

And please, if you can tap his both of them To us, upon delivery of the letter I would like to give him kisses Curse, however, seemed to be the main factor here And the request came as they often did With increased poltergeist activity The evening after that message was given Wally and Kitty reportedly saw

Shirley's slippers floating three feet above the ground Walking in the air by themselves as if something invisible was wearing them. My flying shoes. Yeah. It's my flying shoes. Later that night, Kitty was woken up

by what felt like fingers on her back. And those fingers were paired with an insistent tapping. Donald obviously had another message. But when Kitty translated it using the homemade Ouija board, she found that the message was not for her.

Instead, it said, quote, get curse. Get him out of bed. Now, after the curse request, Donald the Poultergeist reportedly began writing messages himself, messages that showed up on scraps of paper or written on the walls. Eventually, the messages became so prolific that the family actually got Donald a journal to write in. Supposedly, when no one was in the room, Donald would write in the journal

using long, straggling characters that barely came out as words, although for some reason the spirit's handwriting would vary in quality throughout the 12-year haunting. Now, amongst believers, there is speculation that Shirley would become possessed by Donald and she would black out whenever Donald wanted to actually write down messages. She was Donald's hand. But it was said by investigators that Donald and Shirley had entirely different styles of handwriting when those samples were laid out side by side.

Now since Harry Hanks's exorcisms had failed and since the Hitchings were a staunchly Church of England household, no Catholic funny business here, they had more or less resigned themselves to accepting Donald the Poltergeist as a part of their lives. Ain't nothing to do. It's really is like...

I really do think it's like this blitz mentality. It's, you know, this is 1956. I think there is a keep common carry-on mentality of like, eventually it's going to end. Just another thing. Yeah, just another thing on the pile. But one day, a man appeared at their door in the great tradition

of British paranormal investigation cold calls, a man who thought he could help. This man who would eventually give the Battersea Poultergeist, its worst name, the Poultergeist who could write was paranormal investigator Harold Chibbitt. Another Harry? Harry Chibbitt. Oh, Harry Chibbitt.

So much British shit going on to this. I don't want to meet Harry Chibbitt. Well, you don't want to see Harry's Chibbitts. But I think that Harry Chibbitt is a wonderful Harold, please. I think all Harry Chibbitt's his example of the consummate UK paranormal

investigator is almost untouched. Oh yeah. Pipes smoking. Oh, yeah. He looks good. Blobby. Three-piece suit. Every day, fully dressed to the... It's like they wear so much material they're so afraid of their penis escaping. Yeah. It's like, why?

It's like it's like their genitals are in like maximum security prison. They refuse a wife. It's the wool and the tweed. They love wool and tweed. The uncomfortable, itchy. It's also material. They like a stiff cut. They like a jacket that can hold its shape. Now, Harold Chibbitt was in his mid

50s by the time of the Battersea Poltergeist. Like many men of his generation, he'd become deeply interested in spiritualism and psychical research after he'd served in World War I. And he wasn't a train conductor. Which you honestly

really, it helps up. As such, he'd founded a group that investigated psychic and occult phenomena. And since Chibbitt was absolutely terrible at naming things, he named his new group, The Probe. Ugh. God.

But during his time with the probe, Chibbitt became a follower of the Fordian School of Paranormal Research, meaning that he believed that it was his job to observe and document paranormal phenomena, but never interfere. This, of course, is impossible when you're basically living with a family. The guy who, you know, that studied the infield poltergeist, he found the same thing. If you're there all the time, you're going to get involved. And as it went, Harold Chibbitt more or less embedded himself with Shirley and the rest of the Hitching family not too long. after he introduced himself. In the Fordian style,

they know that the paranormal phenomena itself is extremely subtle and personal. And so the idea is to be there 24-7. So you can record every single thing. And I love Harry Chippet's style of this because he really just like, that's the idea is to record it all and let the whole world sort it out.

I'm not convinced he's not homeless. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's wonderful. This is wonderful magnificence. Is this hot water? Oh, that's deception is simply wonderful. Yeah, so, oh, he's food, he's excellent. Oh, what do you call this?

A blanket. Now, the Hitching family invited Gerald Chibbitt into their home, as they did with pretty much anyone who knocked on their door. It really did see, like, I can't figure out, it seems like it's a compulsion with Wally Hitchings. Anytime someone shows up and says, hey, I didn't, he just is like, all right, come in. My take is the fact that these people are showing up in, like, a. idea of authority, and they're showing up as like, we're here to investigate and we are here to report on this. And he's like so British, he always has to go, yes, of course, welcome. Yes, T. This gets for everyone. Yes, of course. Because they're just like locked into every form of

social caste. Terminal politeness. Yeah. Yeah. But the arrival of the middle-aged portly pipe smoking paranormal investigator seemed to elicit an aggressiveness in Donald the Poltergeist. Of course. See, Herald Chibbitt was not an attractive man. Well, he's a specific look. Well, the world of Fortian paranormal investigators, it's not full of heart throbs. No, it's for the woman who loves a

difficult personality. It's like an exotic nut. A difficult personality, and let's call it a unique body. A durian fruit of men. Well, Haldibb was not an attractive man, as opposed to say the dashing young reporter, Michael

Kirsch. So, Donald began making threats. that their, quote, wouldn't be a tomorrow if someone didn't bring Michael Kirsch back to the house. Now, the family refused to contact Michael Kirsch, but Donald ended up blaming the reporter himself for not showing up. And the typically belligerent British poltergeist style, I don't know why British poltergeist are more belligerent. They just are. Donald communicated that he was going to get revenge on Kersh by, quote, poking him and suffocating him that very night. It's the first really violent threat that Donald the Poltergeist makes. Well, that in the fire.

Well, I'll shit for it. This is a specific. The fire was like, that's more general. This is like, I'm going to specifically hurt a person. Donald's like, and then, and I can imagine that Harry Chippets is so used to men casually telling them they're going to kill him. I mean, it just seems like it surely at this point now, because she's like, I don't like this ugly guy. It's the cute guy back here. It's interesting.

That's the very interesting part of it is because it's, as we talk about it more and more, it's going to so very obviously become Shirley. In fact, it's going to become more and more obvious that it's surely as the story goes on. But then the activity is also going to get weirder. Exactly. And that's the thing. The activity gets weirder. The coincidences get weirder. So it just begs the question.

Where is this actually coming from? What is Donald? Now, Donald gave up on Kirsch after a few days and instead requested a different reporter, named Ronald Maxwell, although this request also came with a threat. If Maxwell didn't show up, Donald wrote, he was going to set the house on fire. While that sounds like an empty threat, both Shirley and Kitty. He's like from the poltergeys. Yeah, he's fucking bluffing.

How many times someone has threatened to set my house on fire this week, seven? Seven times. Three different ghosts. Well, both Shirley and Kitty reported that later on that evening, after he made the, after Donald made the threat, they both saw green orbs floating in their bedroom. And again, this is 1956. Orbs are not in the zeitgeist. It's not so much the poltergeist, too, movie version of like, you know, when they do that weird energy thing where it moves between all the rooms and the house. Like, it feels like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like the end of poltergeist, the first poltergeist, you know, when the gate gets closed. Yeah. His house is clear. God, I love her. Yeah. But when the requested reporter still didn't show up, Donald the Poltergeist apparently attacked.

One night, around 1 a.m., Shirley said that she saw another green orb, followed by the smell of smoke. She called out for her father, and when Wally burst into the room, he said that Shirley's bed sheets were on fire. He put out the flames, but the fire was big enough where he burned his arms and his hands. The burns were bad enough to take him to the hospital. Those are his conducting tools. How is he supposed to pull the

horn? How is he supposed to stick his fingers to the mouth of the face of the train? Or any boy that happens to be at his stop? You ever sit in there, like in New York, were you ever waiting for the train and the conductor just reaches out and he puts his fingers in your mouth? Yeah. I always wanted to do that to them. I just thought that was

like a bug thing. I thought that was a G-train thing. It's the little things you miss about New York City, you know? Yeah, I miss those big guys' fingers. But before you say that Shirley simply lit the fire herself, Wally's injury triggered an official investigation. The fire investigators were entirely unable to determine how the fire started. They tried, because, you know, this is a famous case.

Everyone by this point, everyone in London knows about the Battersea Poultergeist case. You know, these guys are going. They want an explanation. They cannot find one. Furthermore, the whole family was adamant that Donald had done it and that they were all in grave danger. And so, it's with Donald's first act of violence that we'll pick our story back up next week

for the conclusion to the story of the Patricie Poultergeist. Because next week we're going to be getting to the French Revolution. We're going to be getting some actual deaths, many deaths. Quite a few deaths, actually. Yeah, I'm kind of excited. It's going to be pretty bloody. We really, like, this is the, I can't believe this is the first time I've come across this story. Like, we did.

I'd always heard about it. Yeah. Like, I'd seen it on lists or something. But yeah, it's an insane story. It's a massive story. And the second half does sort of feel like a psychedelic tumble down to the mind of a 15-year-old psychic girl. So it's going to be very, very interesting. Doesn't, this happens for 12 years.

So eventually she's going to get older, obviously. Yeah. And, you know, does she get married and all that? I guess we'll save it. We'll save her. I'm curious. We'll find out. Hey, call us.

I'll tell you this, Eddie, she's still alive. She's still alive? She's still alive. Oh, let's get hitched. She's British as all fun. We go to patreon.com slash last podcast and 11th. You can pay money to watch this talk.

You pay watch his money to watch us slop back and forth. Most importantly, you can pay money to watch us do last stream on the left live every Tuesday, 6 p.m. PST. And you can join the chat and yell at us. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, and I'm definitely going to say this last episode of the stream, I had a ton of fun, but the majority of it is not making it to YouTube. That's so funny.

The vast majority of it is one of the funnest episodes we've had in forever. But it's just the foot sex toy with the vagina on the sole of the foot and the mouth. We can't show that on YouTube. So the only place you're going to be able to see it is over on Patreon. Yeah, they have zero tolerance. for it. Thank you zero tolerance for giving us to something to have zero tolerance about. Very much so. Thanks for all the Luby.

It is really helping me not stick to this chair. And also go check out our YouTube channel. We are currently crushing it over there at LPN TV. Our new LPN RPG Vampire The Masquerade run by Jared Logan with me, Jackie Zabrowski,

Ross Bryant is, I want to say you guys are crushing it. All our guests are amazing in it. Ed was a guest. Like two episodes of Marcus is going to be a reoccurring character I mean technically in the word he's a reoccurring character Oh yeah. Come and watch it

We are having so much fun over on LPN TV It's on the YouTube And then also check out our other new LPN Our other new LPN based YouTube channels like someplace underneath No Dogs in Space LPN Romanticy and the Foreign Report Yeah man it's a lot of fun over there

Come see us live Henry and I got a show in Vegas I'm very excited about that December 7th you can catch us out at Wise Guys in Las Vegas And also just, no, we are performing way off the strip, so please come there. Like, it's going to be nice. For those of you that are locals, like, I know it's like, past the airport, but, you know,

but we're going to have fun. We're going to have fun, and you're going to stick it up. Yeah, no, this is for the locals. Yes. This isn't necessarily for people visiting. And if you are visiting, you can't come, but I want some real Vegas idiots. That's what I'm looking for. Yes.

And you want to check out the rest of us on the road. We got Saturday, November 29th, right after Thanksgiving. We're going to be in Akron, Ohio at the Good Year Theater. Is it a mistake? We say no. No, we're doing it. We're doing it. Who gives this shit? I love tires, all right? We all do.

Check out the video. December 12th and 13th, Portland, Oregon. Get your tickets fast for Portland, Oregon, because those are selling out. Yeah, those are going to be gone very soon. Yeah, Henry and I show in Columbus sold out, too. So it's happening, folks. Revolution Hall, get in there. Basically, Portland's already sold out at this point.

Buy the last straggling tickets, but go to Akron. Why don't we all go to Akron for the Saturday after Thanksgiving? You are going to be so happy to be outside of your home and away from your family in Akron. You just leave whatever home you're at, leave whatever place you're at. Get the fuck up. Come from Wyoming. Come from South Dakota. River City.

There's a lot of the places that you can drive from Akron, Delaware. All right. A lot of horrible places will never go. Well, the Delaware people, I want you coming to Philadelphia. January 31st, we're going to be at the Met in Philadelphia. That's going to be a big-ass show. I'm very excited for that. fun for that, but I don't know what that is yet.

Oh, yeah. February 28th, Austin, Texas, March 13th, Indianapolis, April 25th, Cincinnati, Ohio. I can't wait for that. Friday, May 29th, we're going to be in Pittsburgh, June 27th, Grand Rapids, Michigan, July 17th, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and July 18th, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I cannot believe we're actually in Grand Rapids at an actual normal human time to be inside of Grand Rapids. What month are we going to be there? Oh, wow. Yeah, it's going to be nice. We might actually, like, it's nice there because we went during, the last time we were there is during a snowstorm, and it was, honestly, a blast. Huh.

You know what? I have no memory of that. You weren't there. Oh. You were sick. I was sick. That's right. That's when I had long COVID.

I mean, I'm sick again now, but now it's long COVID. Now it's just regular normal, sick in the head. Yeah, just normal, unbridled. Strength of a thousand sons. We love you. Hail sick. Oh, in hell, game. Why not?

I guess, um, hair, uh, hail Harry, uh, the first Harry. Harry Hanks. Yeah, good work. Choo Man. Can you believe this? Can you ever heard about this? He just became Jay Leno. Eh?

You like, like, yeah, you guys heard about this? Yeah.