Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 663: Count Dante Part II - The Dojo War of 1970

Episode Date: May 8, 2026

This week, the boys conclude the story of Count Dante with the infamous 1970 Dojo War, a brutal clash that left one man dead and Dante’s legend in ruins. From comic book ads and "the Dragon Lady" to bullfighting stunts, scams, and spiraling violence, the Deadliest Man Alive finally loses control of his own myth. And after the dust settles, Dante crashes headfirst into crime, chaos, and a very real body count. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot task. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. Do you want to start? Are you practicing death? No, I practice death when I sleep. Oh, man, it's good.

It's good. I do that when I stop breathing every night. See, well, you do that. I work really hard on it. Medically. For many years, I've been working on. I've been getting my neck fatter and fatter and fatter and it presses on my larynx when I sleep. And so sometimes I don't breathe.

and I'm still here. Can't stop me. Can't kill you, dude. Can't kill me, dude. Can't imagine it in my mind. Count Dante should have a martial art solution to sleep apnea.

Of any martial artist groups of henchmen had sleep apnea, it's guys in Count Dante's crew. I don't know how he died, but I think that sleep apnea is high in the running. Oh, I think that if there was a man who was his mortal apnea was his mortal

enemy, it would be Count Dante. Trust me, it's a fat man's death. He's not a fat man himself, but it is, well, let's say it's an unhealthy man's death. Yeah, yeah. He lived a fat man's life. He did, by himself still being quite the martial arts expert. Welcome to

Last Podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zabrowski. That's me. Ready for karate noisces. Yeah, and Sleep Apnea's best friend. It's Ed Larson. That's right. Dante went from martial arts to martial farts. That's right.

That's right, because he got fat. That's pretty good. He got fat, meat is unhealthy. Also, he did, which has only ever been seen before by R.D. Lang, in which he got fatter on Coke than off of it. Yeah. Yeah. That does happen. It's special.

It's the Coke bloat. Yeah. Coke bloat's a real bad problem. And you know what? A lot of really healthy people, real farty, because they're vegetarian. Oh, yeah. All right. So everything I said sucks.

That's why I follow the women around. That's how you know where the healthy girls are in Los Angeles. Oh, man. Follow the vegan farts. I can see that. If I did cocaine, I'm sure I would just be like, well, I want a sandwich. Yeah. Give me sandwich right now.

I want a fucking sandwich. Just power with my sandwich. Yeah. Some people do it to keep drinking. I do it to keep eating cheese steaks. Yeah, and to keep talking about eating. Yeah. And you get to eat when you're talking about eating.

My restaurant owner at the poor house, he loved cocaine. Yeah. Yeah, oh, you're a bar owner in New York City, loved cocaine. You know, there was a brief time there where he wasn't doing it, and then all of a sudden, I knew he'd gotten back on it because I got to call at 4 a.m. telling me the soup sucked. So when we last left, Count Dante, the martial arts master of Chicago had just begun taking out full-page ads in comic books and ordered a hawk merch for his Black Dragon Fighting Society.

And this, of course, was using a mail-order business that was run by Lord. local nuns under Dante's control. Doesn't get better than that. Besides the t-shirts, sweatsuits, and nunchucks, all branded with Black Dragon Fighting Society logos, Count Dante also sold three separate mail-order pamphlets called World's Deadliest Fighting Secrets, which could be obtained by any angry comic book nerd

for a mere 25 cents each. Count Dante had also fully given end to his status as a local character in Chicago by modeling his image and personality, after the Satanist Anton LeVay, who was just starting to make headlines out in San Francisco as the head of the Church of Satan in the late 1960s. I feel like every once in a while I just have to remind myself

I don't like this guy. Yeah. I feel like last week, you were like really trying hard to be like, you know, he's an asshole, but it's so hard, man. Because Count Dante is one of my favorite Americans that have ever been born. There's just some of them, except for the fact that he's, I don't like his behavior towards women.

Of course not. No, he's an absolute asshole. He's a fucking bully. He's inherently violent. He is a bully, but he's a fucking character. He is an American character. But all this added up to Count Dante basically billing himself as a sort of anti-hero. He was a real-life comic book character who could supposedly kill a man with a single touch using his vast repository of martial arts knowledge.

And for just 25 cents, he could teach you how to do the same. All it takes is five nickels and you also get the secrets of bong-zay. But since every good comic book hero needs a love interest at some point, Count Dante created one for himself in the form of the so-called Dragon Lady of Chicago. I spent so long married to my art form of fighting that now I cannot believe I'm letting love into my heart. The most dangerous playing field of all Dragon lady's vaginas are watertight On the Clint

I'm the dragon lady Can you get you dead Making it orgazette? Birth's name Carrie Anders The dragon lady was just some local lady That Count Dante had gone to high school with Allegedly Anders had a big crush on Count Dante Back when the count was plain old John Kean

But even though Dante had stood up Carrie Anders after promising to take her to the prom. Yeah, it got it was too busy. I had to go work at the gas station. Dante and Carrie reunited in 1967, just five years after they graduated. Carrie had apparently blossomed in the years since. She grew bigger breasts.

That's what that means. That's what blossomed generally means. He was being nice. Yeah, it was being very nice. That's a time I saw you with the body of a little girl, but obviously now. You're a grown woman. Well, she's now in her early 20s working at Chicago's Playboy Club, serving drinks and cigarettes dressed in the bunny ears and swimsuit uniform of Playboy Club employees. Now, once she and Dante reconnected, he sent her a dozen red roses with a note reading, quote,

The burning embers of love can be rekindled. As if that wasn't cheesy enough, he actually signed the note, Count Dante, even though Carrie Anders knew him better by his. real name, John Kean. I got you roses, the color of blood. The blood that I shit in order to prove to you that I am a wonderful lover and an accepting husband.

This is kind of like the plot of gross point blank. A little bit, yeah. But while you'd think all this would send Carrie Anders running, she quickly became swept up in the wild world of Count Dante. How can you not? Before long, she'd quit her job at the Playboy club to work for Dante at his

Dojo, the Imperial Academy of Fighting Arts, all while she took private karate lessons from Dante himself. God, she must have hated money. Continue to do what you did before. Yes, make me a Jim Gimlet. Now try to kick me in the balls. Now, you're quitting to work at a dojo. That's what you're doing. This nice job with all these tips.

You quit in the work out of karate dojo. You don't have control of me anymore. I'm going with the count. He's royalty from Europe. He's making me a dragon. What did you do, Joe? What did you do? The only dragon I did was your ass in order to make money for you to court.

I don't want to be a rabbit no more. I want to be a twergan. Reportedly, Count Dante was surprised and impressed by the toughness displayed by Carrie Anders. So he nicknamed her the Dragon Lady, and branded her is basically a Playboy Bunny with a black belt, even though her karate skills were relatively limited. Once dubbed the Dragon Lady, Carrie accompanied Count Dante everywhere day and night. And as a couple, the two of them began appearing on tabloid covers and local TV shows as a sort of combination martial arts magic show act. You ready to see the magic show.

Let's watch this dime bag disappear in my face. And so with the dragon lady by his side, Count Dante began giving in to the theatrical side of martial arts more and more, all with the assistance of an increasingly large number of hangers-on who believed wholeheartedly in the so-called Dante system of martial arts. Remember the Dante system is just beating someone as badly as you can, as quickly as you can. And you'll forget, going for the eyeballs in the throat. Yeah, the eyeball's throat.

and he's also, he's introducing the testicles slowly but surely. Got you. One out of time. The 70s are like the decade of the testicle for Count Dante. In 1967, he's just building up to it. I would say he did grow into it. He did. On the summer of 1967, Count Dante organized a karate tournament

in a Chicago auditorium called the Medina Temple. But the hook for this event was supposed to be a fight. between one of Count Dante's students and an actual bull. This was a copy of an act put on by a Japanese karate master named Sossai Oyama, who'd been fighting bulls since the 1950s to push the limits of his skills. Oyama would tour the world fighting bulls while wearing only sparring shorts, but Oyama was talented enough to grab the bull by the horns and grapple it to the ground again and again. That's kind of fun.

It's really cool. Wow. I mean, it sucks for the bull, but it's, I mean, it's no different from rodeo. Well, if you're just wrestling it, it's better than stabbing with a bunch of little swords. Yeah, well, that's bullfight. That's Spanish bullfighting. Yeah, yeah, that's even. Yeah.

Man grappling a bull, that's even. Yeah, that is even. Also, Chicago just became Bulltown. It did. It was just in the age forms in the 60s. Yeah, that's right. And so this is all about fucking sky. It's good marketing.

Count Dante's student, however, was not. not on Sosai Ayama's level. Dante's guy was a nerdy Jewish kid named Arthur Rapkin, who'd gotten into karate because he'd grown up as a fat kid who'd been bullied in gym class. But that made Rapkin the perfect student for Count Dante. Every single time you're wondering, can I conquer this bull? Think about how wobbly your little girl tits are. All right?

And how biblie-bubbly your flapping gut is. Now you take that rage. and how everyone used to point it out, right, and tell you how what a girlish-looking man you were, how you were a little baby boy that should be beaten of that. Like, he's, you want to focus that rage at the bull. Yeah, that's what Count Dante was great at. He was great at finding really angry kids who had been bullied

and were willing to do anything Count Dante asked him to do, no matter how fucking stupid it was. So Rapkin's basically Jonah Hill and Wolf. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Well, Arthur Rapkin had been simultaneously expelled from high school, and his karate class in one single day in 1964.

That's the coolest thing I've ever heard, he'd gotten into an actual street fight with a teacher from his high school who was also a fellow student at Rapkin's karate studio. He'd basically, like, after class one day, he just punched his teacher in the head.

Wow. They didn't even do a full, like, bow for attention. They didn't do a full fight? Not if you want to win. Yeah. That's the Dante system. Kill him in his sleep. Punch, then bow.

Cut their brick lines. That's the Dante system. Like Count Dante, Rappkin had no time for no contact karate. And after he was expelled from his first dojo for beaten up his high school teacher, he had found his way to the count, where he quickly became one of Dante's top students. Within a couple of years, Rapkin had actually moved to nearby Wisconsin to open his own dojo using what else but the Dante system. I will change you from a curd into a full wheel. Now, Count Dante got the idea to do the bull show in his next tournament from So Say Oyama.

And since Arthur Rapkin liked sparring with larger opponents, Count Dante probably figured that those skills automatically transferred and literally fighting a bull. Yeah, how you like fighting, fat Jerry? Well, I've got the fattest Jerry of all. We flow them in from Spania Because like Bullfighting is technically

Usually done with swords Yeah no Yes our swords Our intellect And our flags Or our hands And our knees are our knees still And our feet

Or our cars And there wasn't going to be Any practice at all How came you practice? Yeah exactly Like he was just gonna Like on the day of the tournament Just put Rapkin

In the fucking ring with a bull And like let's see if he can take it down I think he can't. It's like, how do you practice by fighting a tree? Harness your cheat. You know, what I do is I take my bobcat out. I run a bobcat from the local construction office and I had my... Oh, that's a bobcat.

Yes. No, not Bobcat, gold weight. He died instantly. I hate bobcats. They come out there and they just... They punch the sled part. They punched the sled part. Well, going all in immediately, as he always did,

Dante bought a 2,000-pound Brahmin bowl and drove it around Chicago on a flat bed truck with Arthur Rapkin displayed next to the bull. Dare me to punch this bull? Excuse me, ma'am, you dare me to punch this bull? So was it like a cut out of him or was he really just like had his arm around the bull and he's like, I'm going to kick his ass! He what? He had his arm around the bull.

Like he's like, he's posing. He's shown his muscles. And Dante has a megaphone. He's driving with a megaphone out of his mouth and he's saying shit like this. Come to the Medina temple and see this. brave young karate expert take on this ferocious bull.

He made Racken closed down his Wisconsin dojo. He's like, you're coming here and you're training to fight this bull until it happens. You got it. Absolutely countdown day. You know I got it locked down. My mother said I was the strongest

of five son. Oh, you know he ain't coming for him. I'm turning to get the jerky. Two seconds flat I was... Unfortunately for Rabkin, the police arrived on the day of the tournament and shut down the show before Rapkin could be killed in the ring by a wild animal. Thank fucking God. Thank God I didn't know. I was so well.

I was really... Oh, boy, I did not think it was going to go well. I was going to hit it. I was going to hit it. I was going to see how I'm going to go. If I remember correctly, though, I might be wrong on this. But when I was a kid, like Brahmin, Bulls, they always had them at stock shows,

and you could take pictures with him. They're the ones of the big hump on the back. I think Brahmin Bulls are the gentlest of all balls. Yeah, if you're going to get one, I think Brahmin's the one to get. Well, just the fact that he could actually drive it around in his pickup truck around the streets of Chicago, on a flatbed. Might tell you that it's not the most aggressive bull. Yeah.

And they don't have horns, it looks like, from the quick Google image search. Let's all just still just say Arthur very easily could have been murdered by that bull. It does not matter because the second he punches it in the head, the second he goes up to the stationary bull, because imagine how that fight goes. The Brahman's just standing there

and Arthur's like, let me at him, let me at him, let me at him. The second he fucking hits one fucking strike on the chops. Yeah, he's not mongo from blazing saddles. It's not going to fucking fall. He's going to go, uh. And then the Brahmin bull's going to

beat the fucking stop them to stop them to that. It's going to trample. They're 1,800 to 2,400 pounds. Now, it is very much a possibility that Count Dante tipped off the cops himself so they could bust up the bullfighting show before it could even happen.

What happened? The cops find out. I can't believe this was supposed to be the best days of our lives. I guess we'll just have to go home safely then. Good job, boys. Thank you. Here's your 21. Let's go shoot this pull in the head

We're gonna have some hamburgers Even though Dante didn't promise on the event as delivered Dante had a strict policy of no refunds I'm locked in Likewise it seems like Count Dante May have used his next tournament Held in September of 1968 As a massive smokescreen to make a little cash

Without having to pay his creditors Because it seems like mommy and daddy's OBGYN Money that I think that stopped flowing To Count Dante by the late 60s Like, you're good. The crime against humanity, Count Dante was cut off by mommy and daddy. You could say his money was on a menopause. There we go. Good work.

Now, for this one, Count Dante used his attractive girlfriend, the dragon lady, and all the advertisements. And he had her be the spokesperson who spoke to the press. Talk out to him, honey. In an interview with the Chicago Tribune, the dragon lady claimed that the organizers were going to march to Muhammad Ali's house to get him, to join the fights. They were going to convince him. That I should know, as soon as I talked to Mr. Clay, he would absolutely be interested in joining a fighting tournament.

That's right. We're walking to Kentucky. Ollie, of course, did not show up. And neither did the crowds. The World Fighting Arts Championship Tournament of 1968 was a total bust. But Dante still managed to make a profit on the failure. Since any money he might make would go directly to his mini-eastern, creditors, Count Dante had his

bullfighter, Arthur Rapkin, steal almost $9,000 in cash from the ticket booth at the gate. Arthur then called the police himself to report the theft. And since the cops believed Arthur's story, Dante got to keep all

the cash. You know, again, can't hold him down. He's figured out that much, man. He's just figuring out how to just eke his way through one week at a time. Yeah. What a great fucking plan. Yeah.

It's just so stupid. I'm gonna rob me. It worked. But we're seeing like already these like truly Byzantine cocaine-fueled plans. Well he's not on cocaine just yet.

It seems like he wants to be. He's dibble dabbling. It's not quite getting there at this point. But these are all Coke ideas. Yes. No, he's one of those guys whose brain is made even, he already has a Coke brain and then once he gets on Coke,

It's even worse. Yeah, it's like one of those guys are like, I'm willing to beat 12 right now. You should be using it. Why are you taking it anal? Well, from what it seems like, even though Dante got his money, the failure of the tournament

was still a massive blow to his ego. Quite unfortunately, as is the want of many inherently violent men, Dante took out his frustrations on his girlfriend, the dragon lady. That's sad. It's terrible.

Reportedly, Dante beat Carrie Anders and gave her a black eye, blaming the failure of the tournament on her. And it wasn't the only time he laid hands on her. Carrie later said that Dante would make her shape his elaborate, pointy beard. And she was so scared of making a mistake

while doing it that her hands would shake. No fear should end turns of the art of beard arts. No. No, no. Well, he used the hair dissolving powder. So if there was a mistake, he might lose half of his pointy mustache. And then, what in the living hell will I do? No, well, the money will go.

Who am? I don't have my pointy mustache. Who am? But even though Carrie broke up with Dante and moved him with her parents after the failure of the 68 tournament, Dante wouldn't let the relationship go. The count would show up at Carrie's home just to make sure that she knew that he was still around. And he once even showed up demanding that she make him breakfast. And when she said no, and this is such a bully, like an adult bully move, he's like, I'm going to beat up your dad. If you don't make me breakfast, I'm going to beat up your dad.

I'm going to call this. I'm going to beat up your father. Chicago, karate instruction or idea. I'll just be like, you're going to make me some rice Krispies? I'm going to go up there. I'm going to beat up your father. Dad, if I don't make pancakes, this guy's going to beat you up. Make the pancakes.

Yeah, she did. Just to make him. At that point, he's threatening her family. She made him the pancakes. He went away and left without further incident. He did show up time and again. I just got to say thank you. Thank you so much.

You know that. several dollar pancakes are my favorite. Seems like he was really dragging the relationship out. I'm angry. That's angry. That is angry.

Dot com. Since Count Dante's deadliest man alive of comic book ads are doing reasonably well as the 1960s turned into the 1970s, Chicago's leading martial arts master was increasingly living in the fantasy

world that he'd spent so much of the previous decade constructing. This, of course, is what led to the infamous Dojo War of 1970. Dojo War! It's more of a battle. I would say it's a joe. It is a dojo skirmish.

No, I do like it, yeah. Scirmish is being kind. It's edging on, it's edging on skirmish. Scrimmage. Yeah. If someone didn't die, I'd call it a scrimmage. Yeah. In the history of Japanese martial arts,

there is a practice called Dojo Yabori. Yes, it's most honorable. Yeah, it's dojo storming. In a classic dojo storm, the top students of one martial arts school will visit a rival school and challenge its members in an attempt to test the school's fighting abilities.

You simply do not have the ability to confront my powerful kung fu. It's pretty awesome. I didn't know there was an actual term for this. No, this used to happen. It used to go and they used to go, but it used to be more of like, it was both... It was like a samurai thing, mostly, yeah.

And they would do it both. as ceremonial and as legit. So it would both be like an actual attack, but it'll also just be like, we're going to randomly show up and see if my karate can beat your karate. And everyone just goes like, yeah, fuck yeah, of course. All we do is do karate. Yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah. Let's fucking try our karate.

Yeah. Other times, a dojo storm will just be a fight between the two leaders of the rival dojoes instead of an all-out brawl. Because usually it was just a big fucking brawl. But if the challenger wins, the rival school loses credibility and a few students might decide to switch allegiances to the challenging dojo.

Now, there really isn't any one known catalyst for what set Count Dante on the path to declaring war. There very rarely is, Marcus. Very rarely. War, what is it good for? GDPs, obviously. Stop one. What we do know is that Dante picked up the phone in April of 1970 and called a rival martial art studio called the Green Dragon Society at their dojo, which was unironically called Black Cobra Hall. Dante then issued a simple warning to the green dragons. He said, quote,

I'm coming over there, and I'm bringing a bunch of guys to bust up your joint. Oh, because they're the green dragons. He has a joint. Oh, whoa, yeah, it's fucking weak. But also, that's just fun as hell, because that guy was looking for a fight. The guy doing the Green Dragons Society was definitely pointing his way towards Count. Oh, yeah. Well, let's go through some of the catalysts.

of the reasons behind this. What we do know is that in 1970, the green dragons were the biggest rivals to Count Dante's Black Dragons. And that rivalry was, for multiple reasons, finally coming to a head. Some say that the Green Dragons were running their mouths about Count Dante, saying

that he's full of shit, and he doesn't know how to hold his own in a real fight. I can fight. Oh, I can fight. I'm going to name my Dojo Python Kai. Well, other people in the community said that Dante was pissed off because the Green Dragon Society's logo was too close to the logo Dante used for his own Black Dragon Fighting Society's logo. Compare them. Look, what we have here is the Black Dragon absolutely frightening. The most powerful opponent you can be drenched in wickedness.

And then now it's green? The Green Dragon. That's not a dragon! The only green dragon I know of came. from J.R. Tolkien's masterpiece, the fellowship of the ring, and that was populated by hobbits. I love Smok. Beat up that nerd. Good work, casing the nerd. But an anonymous source who spoke to Black Belt magazine about the Dojo War, he suggested a third option.

That source said that Dante did not like having perceived imitators when it came to the Dante system. And apparently, the Green Dragons were copying Dante's incredibly... reckless teaching style. They were fighting in a fat man's style without the fat man buddy. Well, like Dante's black dragons, the green dragons also used weapons in their training. Remember Dante would use knives and guns. They also did balls out full contact training at all times, just like the black dragons. And the green dragons also used a technique that put them into an animal-like state during combat,

like Dante's Tiger Mirror method. Hey, listen, my name is Dr. Michael Andrew. I got nothing to do with your so-called Dante system. We here at Green Dragon fighting society do things just a little bit different. It's family style. I still wish we were Red Dragons. There's still time to vote. But in the end, it could have also been that Dante was trying to extort the Green Dragon Society for a good old-fashioned turf tax.

And when the Greens refused to pay up, Dante decided to attack. And that actually might be the most likely thing. It's very possible. Because like calling up someone and say, like, I'm going to bring a bunch of guys over there to bust up your joint. That sounds like turf tax. It'd be a shame if something happened to your dojo. Yeah. I could offer your dojo a little protection.

Exactly. Which is hilarious because the one thing that doesn't need protection is a dojo. Yeah. Man, that's the whole point of having the dojo. It's filled karate experts. They protect the stuff. But no matter the motivation, after Count Dante made the call to the Green Dragons Dojo, he called two of his most loyal students and invited them to travel to Black Cobra Hall

in order to confront the Green Dragons on their own turf. You must come in the dark of night. You must come with your weapons available and we're at the ready. And also, you must come with several liters of Pepsi. Because I have a bit of a sweet tooth. One of these two fighters was our first and last Polish fighter. of the series, Jimmy Kinchevic. Well, just Jim Kinchevic.

Kinchevic was one of Count Dante's most loyal acolytes, which meant that he'd pretty much do anything Count Dante asked, regardless of how reckless or stupid, said request was. Can I count on you, Jim? Sure. God, that's what I like to see.

We'll kill again tonight. What do you need? Oh, you'll see. It's not money again, is it? Yes. They actually could use some money as well. And then we'll find. Well, even though Kinchevik was entirely unsure what Dante's plan was, or even what Dante's motivation was for storming Black Cobra Hall, he still called several students from his own school to join the fight when the Count Beckoned. And so at 10 p.m. on a Thursday, six Black Dragons, led by Count Dante, arrived at Black Cobra Hall on Fullerton Avenue.

Wow. Are they all colorblind? Why are they going to tell us what color all? the animals. Dante knocked on the large castle-like door that was the entrance to Black Cobra Hall. And to get his crew inside, Dante yelled

Police! While holding up a fake bat. Which is not very fucking karate of him, I might say. Chicago PD! The Green Dragons either fell for the ruse, or they were confident they could take down their rivals, because the six black dragons were equally matched by six green dragons.

So when the green dragons opened the door, the Count Dante and his crew rushed inside. Dan-da-dan-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d... I think it would have been cool if you said karate police. Yeah. Karate police. We're here to arrest all you lame-asses for doing poser-ass-carrati. We're here, we're the poser police.

We're here to arrest all you, you're not- talented posers. We're sending you down a loser-skull. I was going to lose you school. Now, when I said earlier that the Count Dante's system was the Count's undoing, what I meant was that Dante had created an ultra-violent atmosphere where every guy was basically ready to fight to the death at any moment. In fact, for a lot of these guys, getting into potentially deadly barrenuckle brawls,

that was the entire point. This must have been extremely exciting. Super exciting. It's finally happening. We're doing it now. This is like you could feel it. Look what's going on. doing it the actual, or finally get to kick and fight?

Well, they're in the movie. Because that's the thing is. Count Dante, he's, I mean, yeah, he's a comic book guy, like he's in comic books,

but he sees his life like a movie. He sees it like a narrative. And this is the big scene. And he's expecting things to go down like they go down in the comic book, or like they go down in the movies. Yeah, he would fight the leader. Like him and the leader would fight one on one.

And then all the other boys would surround him and it would be super organized. And guys are all going to fight. And then one guy's just going to get, and he's going to fall down and one guy you're going to slightly stab at him and the other guys go, ah, just like fall over? No, when you get six guys who think they can fight against six other guys who think they can fight

and you put them together. Think they can fight. Yeah. It's fucking chaos. Since the Green Dragons had more or less ripped off the Dante system, they were just as, if not more violent than Dante's Black Dragons

because they most likely wanted to prove that they could do Dante better than Dante could do Dante. So, when the Black Dragon, The Green Dragons rushed in, the green dragons grabbed the decorative yet still deadly martial arts weapons that hung on the walls of Black Cobra Hall with every intent to use them on Dante's boys. Don't worry, they won't be able to do anything with that peer one art. Yeah, a $20 sword is still a hunk of metal. Yeah, yeah. Very much so.

In the Green Dragons, they think they're in a fucking movie, too. They're all in it. The Black Dragons. I would just chombing like this, you know? There's nothing more dangerous that a guy who doesn't know how to use a sword with a sword. Black dragons, however, it also come armed.

Some of them had nunchucks. And while I don't know for sure, I very much hope that they were the branded Black Dragon Fighting Society nunchucks that Dante sold in his comic book ads because I do have a scene in my head of the nuns like outfitting all of these guys for battle before they went out.

None. Before I go, pray for me. You're like, English, doing in English. I can't stand it. What are you doing in Latin? Please,

God, give power to this great karate master. As in God's, as in Sister Francesca, I don't know how tonight's going to go. Let me just see him one time. You never showed him in anybody. I want to be the one time.

The only guy saw him. These are nun chucks made from actual nuns. No, no. Don't you mean by actual nuns? No. No, it's their boat. Smashed their boat.

Amongst an array of bladed weapons, one green dragon was brandishing a mace. Cool. Another had a fucking katana. This is the end of Anchorman. Some accounts, however, say that Dante and another black dragon ambled to the back office to talk to the school's manager. I'll try to end this with diplomacy. And while Dante was out of the room, either a black dragon or a green dragon attacked the other side. others however say that Dante was by himself in the manager's office just milling around when the melee began

hold on are you telling me there's conflicting stories here there is no single set story for how any of this went down i could you see him running to the manager's office being like there's cash in there for what it seems like everyone's adrenaline went to 20 yeah and they just kind of blacked out for a while well the plan was get them. Yeah. It really was. But no matter where Dante was when the fight started

or which side threw the first punch, once the melee began, Jim Kinchevich went all in by grabbing a green dragon and sweeping his legs before taking him to the ground with a judo throw. The fighting escalated quickly from there. And since none of these guys were super

well trained with their weapons, the green dragon idiot with the sword started swinging his weapon with reckless abandon. Jim Kanchovic was cut several times. Use a sharp of sword. Dozens of times, in fact.

I got the sword, guy. People is 10. What the fuck? I told you to wrap your arms and newspapers. One green dragon, quite possibly lost an eye to his own

side's wild katana. Hey, man, it's war. Yeah, it is war. The fog of war, as they say. Don't worry. We'll get you a glass one later. Chicks love it. After the fight continued for some time,

the Black Dragons decided that they had failed to fight their way back to the manager's office, which is, I suppose that's how you win. You make it to the manager's office. Base. If I sit in the manager's chair, I run the dojo. That is just rules. That is karate rules. Ancient Chinese rules.

This basically capture the flag. Yeah. And the guy's like, it's my building. I own the deed to the building. I just call the fucking police. Concheverick covered in blood and katana wounds called for a retreat. Specifically, he screamed, quote, Let's get the fuck out of here.

Well, that's an amazing, yeah, absolutely great idea. And so, Count Dante and the rest of the Black Dragons followed Kinchevic's lead. We're going in a field of smoke. One of the Black Dragons that actually locked the door behind them, so they had to force their way out of the Black Dragons entrance, like a bunch of guys like, give me out of it, give me out of it. So we get the key. Once escaped, the Black Dragons noticed that Kinchevik had not made it outside.

So one of the counts guys poked his head back inside to see what happened, but he was horrified to see Kinchevik flailing towards the door as a geyser of blood spurted from his neck. Truly, the most Polish way to end a karate match. apparently the guy that Kinchevik had judo thrown at the beginning of the brawl had not forgotten that slight and as Kinchevik was leaving that green dragon had taken a massive spear off the wall and thrown it just before our Polish karate kid

had reached Black Cobra Hall's exit striking Kinchevic in the neck The fuck! I didn't know there'd be fucking spears man What the living fuck? Dude that's the bitch for me. handheld, no range! No range! I just can't believe there's 12 karate guys in Chicago

and only one of them is polar. I love this, dude. This is the bit when Brick and Anchorman 2 has the Trident. Yeah, it's the same bit. I think they may have stolen it from this, fucking this incident. The massive neck wound, along with the 36 katana cuts, Kanchevik had received in the battle, it caused Kinchevik to collapse and bleed to death on the sidewalk.

outside of Black Cobra Hall. And so, in the end, the only fatality from Count Dante's Dojo War was Count Dante's own man. Now, normally I would say never leave a man behind. That man was a pussy. And plus, he's too heavy to lift. Yeah, yeah, so I love. My back actually really hurts from the war. You know, the guy, you ever like when you were a kid, you know, like you'd do something

and then the moment after you do it, you're like, oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Just I was like, oh, God. Oh, man. Oh, I really lost my head there for a second. I threw a spear in a man.

I was just trying to scare him. I actually never thought I'd ever throw a spear at a man. This is an amazing game for me. That's what my dad used to call being cute. And it was like, when someone got her, it's like, oh, somebody's being cute, weren't they? Yeah. And he's like, this guy was being cute. So he's like, I'll just throw a spear.

And then I guarantee you, as soon as it left his hand, he went, fuck. Oh, no, no, no, no. They started it. After seeing Concheverick collapse and die on the sidewalk, one of Count Dante's students ran to a fire station and called the cops. Cop showed up just in time to apprehend both the green and the Black Dragons. Black Dragons were just about to flee the scene. And all ten men were taken into custody that night, including Count Dante himself.

No, everybody holds. We must listen to the local constable. You know they're all just sitting there with their hands in their pockets, looking to this guy bleed to death? Fuck. Jim. Short war, huh? Yes, yes, very short, very, very short, yeah.

It's kind of crazy how fast wars are over. Does anybody know Jim's family? I think he's got a sister out in the Bquamomach. Yeah, I think, yeah, his sister, but she's going to make a big deal about this on Facebook. You know what the funny thing is, I don't have her number, so I'm not going to call her. Yeah, I don't. I think she reads. the paper, this is going to make the papers.

Does she get karate newsletter monthly? Do you think we have to send a telegram to Warsaw? God, I hope not that'll cost a lot of money. However, the story that Kinchevich's killer told to the cops was not

a story of spear throwing. Instead, the Green Dragon maintained that Kinchevic had basically engineered his own demise. He said that Kanchovic had had knocked him down and Kachavik was in the process of launching himself to the ground to further beat his rival. But while on the floor, the green dragon grabbed an abandoned weapon and stuck it in the air

just as Kinchevik left. And just like the scene, it's been in dozens of movies and TV shows, Kinchevik supposedly impaled himself on the blade through the neck when he dove down. That's the ending of the movie The Edge. Yeah. It's also, it was a scene in Lost as well. Yeah, it happens. It's very, it's cliche. It's a big cliche. It didn't happen. It just nicked his neck by throwing a spear out. I can just see him on the ground with a giant spear sticking out of his neck.

I think he did it to himself. I think we need to look at the systemic factors that led to a moment like this. Whether this is how Kinchevic actually died or not is up for debate. But either way, the man who killed Kinchevik was still discharged with involuntary manslaughter. He got off light. He got him with the spear We got to give him credit for that Even in karate

There's white privilege As far as Dante went He was reportedly devastated By the loss of his friend and student But he still used the dojo war As a promotional opportunity He was like my right hand But I'll regrow my right hand

He reportedly claimed in interviews That when it came to the injuries that he himself had inflicted upon the Green Dragons he was responsible for, quote, removing both eyes from the face of one of his rivals. Yeah, I just got both eyes out there.

From the face. From the face. The face of the guy. I go in there, you know me, always popping eyes out of the face. As opposed to where? As opposed to what other part of the body would you remove the eyes from?

If you have eyes in your hand, taking them from your hand. Are you saying that nipples are in eyes? Because I'm looking at them. Because if nipples are eyes, my eyes are very sensitive. Wildly, sensitive and I will orgasm to the touch about it.

Now this sort of boast was pretty much a part of Count Dante's regular pattern by this point in his career. As the deadliest man alive, Count Dante bragged that he had killed 50 men, which meant that if he was telling the truth, which he wasn't, he'd killed at least 25 men since his time in the military. All in death matches across the world. But concerning eye removal, Count Dante also claimed that he had maimed at least 25 more men. by ripping off their testicles or plucking out their eyes, which was supposed to be Count Dante's trademark move, even if nobody had ever actually seen him do it.

You can't physically see it. It's too fast to be seen. I took your eye. You can tell when I do that. How do you know? You're blind right now. You're just in a fantasy thinking you can see. That's how blind you are.

Now, in reference to the eye removal, Count Dante was talking about a green dragon named Jose Gonzalez. According to a Chicago Tribune article, because the Chicago Tribune loved Count Dante. Every single time. They were like, Count Dante, thank you. You fixed page six again. Oh, yeah.

You can always get a couple inches on Count Dante. Well, according to them, Gonzalez was sent to the hospital after the attack, where doctors unsuccessfully tried saving a badly injured eye. Some say that he was, as I said earlier, cut by a katana wielded by a fellow green dragon. But most likely, Gonzalez had been partially blinded when a black dragon hit him in the eye with a nunchuck. So in the end, while the green dragons

did kill a black dragon, the black dragons, at the very least, took an eye, even if it was by accident. Most honorably. I can just imagine that. What the fuck? What the fuck? Nunchucks are the fucking ain.

You hit the body with the nunchucks. Honestly, he's right. No more face stuff. No more face stuff. What about neck stuff? Yes. Now, Count Dante actually came very close to going to prison for his friend's death. Hey, so close, it's almost like it didn't happen because it didn't.

According to the accountability statutes in Illinois, Dante could have been held responsible for Kinchavik's death because Dante had initiated the brawl and invited Kinchavik to come, which created the circumstances that led to Kanchavik's demise. Agreed. So, Dante lawyered up. but again in the dumbest way possible. For some reason, Dante chose a Chicago police officer who'd recently graduated from night law school but had not yet passed the bar. This character's name was Bob Cooley.

I like a lawyer outside the system. Yeah. According to Bob Cooley, he was still on the job as a cop at the precinct house when Count Dante showed up asking for his help. Supposedly, Cooley arrived back at the station one day after a shift to find Dante waiting for him, wearing a yellow fishnet leotard and a purple cape.

According to Cooley, Dante said, quote, Hello. Greetings. I've heard that you're a tough son of a bitch and you're bright and connected. I'd like to hire you to represent me. As I said, Cooley had not passed the bar

just yet. I'm not a lawyer. I don't know if that's legal. But amazing. First client, booked. It was his first client. He assured Count Dante, as long as he passed the bar, he'd be more than happy to represent the count in his upcoming trial.

Absolutely, no notes, perfect plan. You know, there's plenty of other lawyers that have degrees. I don't like that. They cost things like money. They may have things like offices. And I don't trust that. I like a man who doesn't have a home to live in. I want a lawyer who is a warrior and you as a cop are a warrior.

A police officer, please come to my side. Fight with you. And your gun to court. Live from Northland. Now, when Dante's trial convened eight months later, he was incredibly lucky to draw an old Irish judge who saw this entire affair as a massive waste of both his time and the court's time. Even if one guy was dead and another was partially blinded. He just doesn't give him a fucking chip. He was so stupid

He's still like Yeah, like I deserve I guess Fuck him Fucking Chicago in the 70s It's like Ah you know Sometimes people are going to die

Ha ha ha It was a dojo war I'm actually kind of surprised It was only one guy So go work guys Good safe dojo war It was under the fair fight law Okooly said that

When Dante's hearings paused for breaks He could hear the judge muttering under his breath Quote They're all crazy crazy. This was fantastic news to Kooli.

Because Kooli's whole strategy had been like this is a crazy bra gone wrong. There's nothing, like Dante doesn't have any culpability here. Men, they do tend to mix aggressively with other men. This is just men sharing information through kicks and punches with each other.

This is just an old-fashioned situation we like to call having a go. That's all. In fact, no records exist of Count Dante's court. case at all because the angry Irish judge suddenly dismissed all the charges in a flurry of exasperation. Reportedly, he said, quote, they're all guilty. All these people are a bunch of lunatics who deserve what they got. Now get out of my courtroom. And with that, he bang the gavel and

Count Dante was set loose upon the world once again. Count Dante won, Chicago Zero. Count Dante does it against. I just imagine this judge. I just imagine this judge. For me, in my head, I see just a George C. Scott. Like, we're all guilty. Get a lot of a fucking lunatic. Get him out of a row.

And serve what they got. Get them all the core. God damn courtroom. Release them. You're all violent. That's actually in a wonderful lesson within the Dante system. Remember, a W is a W. Now, Count Dante's trial came to a close.

1971, but he'd already been unofficially kicked out of the martial arts community for initiating the Dojo War. All of his students had left because Dante had led Kanchevic to his death for reasons Dante still couldn't quite explain. There's a lot of systemic issues and it's a lot of contextual issues. I hate green. That's one of the issues. And the entire affair had turned the count from a local character to a local joke.

But instead of recalibrating, Count Dante doubled down. on being Count Dante by turning Count Dante into a full-time job. He focused most of his energies on his mail-order business, which is, of course, fueled by the ads he continued placing in national comic books. But since Count Dante was blackballed from the martial arts world, he began getting out his violent urges by courting conflict in the streets. Dressed as ridiculously as possible to attract bad attention, Dante would cruise around in his gigantic chocolate-brown Cadillac elder

Just waiting for somebody to say something. You thinking I'm gay? You thinking I'm gay? Yeah. Good. That's great to hear. I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. You're gay. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I might punch you in the face. Ow! You said it first. Yeah, that's a funny.

That's a funny little joke I play. Me, it's more of a pimp situation. Oh, a big yeah. A gigantic chocolate brown Cadillac Eldorado. leotard cape, cane. What's going on, motherfuckers? Hey, how are you guys doing? What's hanging?

What's going? You got some mess on your dang low? Yeah, there we go. Nothing shaking but the leaves on the trees, but they wouldn't be shaking if it wasn't for the breeze. What's going on? My little play of a big place. It is young bully mentality.

Yeah. Because when I was a young bully, my parents were like, you can get into fights as long as you don't start them. You can't throw the first punch. You know, and so it's like as long as his brain was as long as I don't physically throw the first punch, this is allowed.

Yeah, yeah. Well, according to his lawyer, Bob Cooley, once Count Dante successfully provoked someone, a darkness would settle on the count. Black dragon, black dragon, he's in the night. Black dragon, black dragon, ready for a fight. Dante, you paying attention? Yes, yes. Sorry, he's whispering.

Well, Dante, we'd get quiet and focused as if he was in a trance. And finally, his eyes would bulge out of his head, and the Count's power would explode. And more often than not, regardless of how big of a douchebag he was, he would leave a pile of unconscious bodies in his wake. I punched with all of my lips in one.

Since Count Dante was no longer having to uphold any artifice of tradition or decorum, he gave in fully to his dark side and began participating in serious criminal activities. It's time to get truly serious about cocaine.

Obviously, up to this point, I've been silly. I'm really not been kind of it. But now it's about to be in, I'm getting locked in. I'm really to focus on cocaine. Yeah. In the early 1970s, Dante and his bullfighting student, Arthur Rapkin, joined a legion of shady men by getting into the business of smuggling cocaine. Rapkin would fly down to Columbia by cocaine by the kilo.

Thank you. Then smuggle it home in a suitcase through Miami. God, so nervous the whole time. Yeah, well, this is actually a relatively easy thing to do back then. This is before drug sniffing dogs. We didn't even have a TSA back then. As long as you could bluff your way through it and they didn't look in your suitcase,

you could get kilos of cocaine. So your passport here says you've been to Columbia four times this month? Yes, I did go. I love papoosa. Well, Rathkin, he started living the high life. He got married. He even had Dante act as the best man in his wedding.

Dante, I got to say, you're the best thing that's ever happening. I will have to say that's the first time anyone's ever said that to me. Was Rapkin in the Dojo War? No, he was not. No, no, I guess he was busy that night. It all came together very fast. Soon after Rapkin's wedding, he discovered that both the FBI and the DEA were investigating him for drug smuggling.

You know, it's going to be, you know. To the point where they were already tapping his phones. We're kind of in the cocaine business. It kind of comes a part of it. I figured that you knew that. Now, both Rapkin and Dante knew that Rapkin's phones were being tapped, but Dante was getting incredibly high on his own supply. So he'd call Rapkin on the phone, coked out of his mind, wanting to talk specifically about cocaine and cocaine smuggling at great length. So how much cocaine you want me to bring your house tonight?

Honestly, I just want to know because, oh, okay, I'll use code. China white. How much do that china white? Better code. Better code. Okay. How about cocaine? How much cocaine do you want me to bring?

Let's make it quick. A handful? Do you want this much? Do you want a handful or do you want a basketful? I'm going to hang up with you. It's real loose. It's just in my car. I actually put it in the as tray. All right. Just get over here before you ruin all of it. It's actually kind of mixed in with a bunch of soot. What Ropkin was, to say the least, highly annoyed by Dante's reckless behavior.

This is my style. And Dante got so out of pocket between the cocaine abuse, street brawls and the loose lips that Rapkin eventually just he just stopped taking Dante's calls. Wow. Yeah. Just to say he screened his calls just to avoid Dante. Yeah. They are. Now by 1972, Count Dante was longing to get back into the world of martial arts. And since some of his students had successfully formed their own martial arts scene in Fall River, Massachusetts, hometown of Lizzie Borden, the count relocated and reopened the Black Dragon Fighting Society. Oh yeah. He's just like, You know, if Chicago couldn't handle me, you know who loved me?

New England. Oh, that's exactly the vibe. There in Fall River, Dante really did try to reenter the scene. He even went so far as to take out ads and variety, offering himself for acting roles after the death of Bruce Lee, because Dante hoped that he could fill the hole left by the greatest martial arts movie star of all time with his white blackula routine.

It's lickety split. I get right in there. I have the charisma of Humphrey Bogart. I have the body of Annette Benning. I'm ready to perform. But Count Dante seemingly couldn't keep his nose clean. Literally. Yes, that went both for participating in criminal activities and doing copious amounts of cocaine.

Dante, therefore, supposedly hooked up with a mobster named Luigi Defonzo sometime in 1973 or 1974. Even I told him I thought his name was a bit of a hate crime. This is when the story gets. it's a little murky. There's a lot of hearsay. Now, Luigi Defonzo was a young con man and gangster who'd made his first million at the age of 21 in the late 1960s through a bogus investment scheme.

His taste for the high life eventually led people to refer to DeFonzo as the Sicilian Gatsby. Welcome to my mansion. Please enjoy the champagne flute of Maranara. Please enjoy all the Charleston's you can do. Here, my son. Sicilian home. What does that believe?

When Defonzo met Dante, DeFonzo had also fled Chicago to Fall River, but DeFonzo had fled because he'd been accused of swindling some 2,000 investors in a commodities trading scam. DeFonzo's relocation, however, is what links count Dante to one of the largest heist in American history,

the Peralator heist of 1974. Oh, the story isn't done? No. No. No, there's still one more, like, you know, the end of boogie nights? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One last step. He's trying to make it happen, but it's just so funny in the little town of Fall River, Massachusetts.

Like, these two fucking ridiculous characters just walking around all the cobbled streets and shit, just being like, can't even believe how much chowder these animals eat? Disgusting, has he, like, throats of Brought worst? So one day in the fall of 1974, Count Dante showed up to the office of his lawyer, Bob Cooley, who had, of course, previously represented the Count during the trial that followed the so-called Dojo War. A great news, Count, I'm a lawyer now. Dante, however, was gacked out on Coke, utterly bloated, and completely disheveled. Dante was even conspicuously missing the trademark cape and leotard.

But after some small talk, Dante asked Bob if you wanted in on a scheme that was sure to, quote, win Cooley, $1 million. By this point, though, Cooley didn't want anything to do with further Dante's shenanigans because this was not the first time that Dante had offered Cooley, a former cop, by the way, action on something that was highly illegal. Such Cooley luckily missed out on what could have been the early planning stages of the Peralator heist. As far as what the Peralator heist was, around the time that Dante was offering a cut to Cooley, the Illinois Bureau of Investigation got a tip that a big score was being planned by the so-called

Chicago outfit. That was the Bureau's name for Chicago's most active Italian mafia crime family. So the Bureau put tales on such organized crime figures as Pete Goosey, Jimmy the Bama Cadawara, and who else but Countante's new neighbor in Fall River, Luigi Defonzo. The Bureau saw these three men meet in a hotel room for about two hours in September of 1974, but it was not noted if Count Dante was amongst their group. I was running security outside. Hey, can we get this fucking guy out of here? Yeah, sure, I'll go get coffees.

Get the fuck out of here. You're welcome. But while the Bureau had no idea what the Chicago outfit's new target was, a heist went down in Chicago, about a month later at a warehouse belonging to one of the biggest armored car companies in America, Pearl Later Security Incorporated. At around 1 a.m. on Monday, October 21st,

$3.8 million in small unmarked bills, plus half a million in checks. And that's $3.8 million in 1974 money. All that was stolen from Perilator Chicago Warehouse. But while the heist was well planned, it did not go off without a hitch. Let me tell you, not a single person believed I was African-American. One of the worst ideas in the planning. I do admit, it was mine. The moment I get in there, I take the security guards eye, right?

Hey, please sit! And I should announce that Count Dante has arrived. You said this and I'll go in. I will say Count Dante has arrived. Are you willing to get the terror of Bangzang? You guys know what I do, pass. The authorities were tipped off to the break-in when warehouse staff noticed that a smoke detector

had gone off in one of the perilator vaults. But this was all a part of the plan. When firefighters arrived, they discovered that three plastic money bags have been filled with gasoline and lit with a long fuse. The fire was meant as a distraction while the perps got away with the cash.

Everyone's focused on the fire, no one's chasing the guys. And that plan did work. But the fire was not as large as it was supposed to be. The perps had meant for 11 bags of fire to go off. But eight bags filled with gas

didn't catch because there wasn't enough oxygen in the vaults to keep the fire going. I think, though, what the... Bags of gasoline? Bags of gasoline? That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Well, I mean, it worked partly. I think it was also supposed to

obscure like how someone found out about the Paralayer house because there were no signs of forced entry to the vault. The vault was protected by concrete walls a foot thick on each side. This of course heavily implied that the heist was some sort of inside

job, which gave the cops a solid lead. And while it did take authorities a little while to pick up the trail, they did make six arrests in connection to the heist. Two of those six men arrested had connections to Count Dante. even if those connections were tenuous at best.

I told you to kill yourself. You're supposed to take the suicide pill. You're supposed to kill yourself. As soon as you get in their hands, I can't be taken. Just a few days after the heist, Count Dante's lawyer, Bob Cooley, had received a visit from one of the heist planners, the aforementioned Pete Goosey.

Well, so this is the Pete the Goose. He has the mother, Pete, Pettogers. I don't want to say, please, protect the man, because I don't like her to be part of this. My Goosey family does not want a member to be a part of this. Do you think his body bag was called a Goosey bag? Well, perhaps not so coincidentally, Pete Goosey's lawyer shared an office space with Bob Cooney. And Goosey had dropped by Bob Cooney's office one day to hide $25,000 in cash behind Coley's sofa because Goosey knew he was facing arrest.

Hey, don't look behind your sofa now. That's more money. In fact, what I'm going to do is I'm a piss over here. It's Gushies now. Nah, like a Gucci. I'm not going to money, Gushis now. Gushi had also left instructions with his attorney, and when he was arrested, he was supposed to go to Cooley's office,

retrieve the $25 grand in cash, hidden behind the sofa, and use it to bail Gushi out of jail. Because normally, we kind of depend on my ability to turn into an Italian mush that allows me to move between bars. While that connection to Count Dante was indeed circumstantial, Dante was absolutely questioned by the FBI in regards to the heist as a possible suspect. Always questioned the guy in the cape. We ditch the cape.

Well, you know. Dante even passed a lie detector test, but some believed that Count Dante was able to use his martial arts training and his meditation skills to cheat the detector by controlling his vital signs. Are you ever lying if you never tell the truth? Good question. That's why lie detectors. are not reliable.

I just got to say, according to this machine, Count Dante is dead. Yes, I have been training for this since I was a child. Look, as you can see, I can make myself frozen to the touch. And so, Count Dante was never charged as being a part of the Perilater heist.

But there are other factors that imply Count Dante may have been involved. First of all, out of all the people arrested, the only men who went free was Dante's neighbor in Fall River, Luigi Defonzo, While the other five guys went to prison, DeFonzo was found not guilty of all charges relating to the heist.

DeFonzo was one of those mob guys that just couldn't make a fucking conviction stick to him. Yeah. For whatever reason. Second, on the very next night after the heist, Dante supposedly called Arthur Rapkin and spilled all the details of the perolator job to his bullfighting, coke-selling former student over the phone again. I'm doing the coolest thing tomorrow. I have to tell you, I know he'll be super excited about it.

Do you remember how excited you were about the bull? You're going to be so mad that you fired me from stealing your cocaine. By the way, the wayA still tapping your phones? DEA, hey, hello! Hey, tell me. How much cocaine do you have on you, personal? Dante painted himself as the mastermind who introduced all the parties involved and told everyone what to do. From what Dante claimed, one of his students knew somebody who knew somebody on the inside at Perilator.

And that student went to Dante with this information, quote, because of his reputation. But the biggest factor that points towards someone getting. away with their part in the highest, maybe Count Dante, maybe not, was the fact that over one million dollars in cash was never recovered by the authorities and that money remains missing to this day. It's literally missing. I lost it. I can't find the money.

It gets gone. I think we might have set it on fire. I don't quite know. I also just like this idea. You know he was just like, he like opened a door for somebody. Yeah. You know that's all Count Dante like did. If he was involved in it at all.

If he just knew a guy that knew that it was happy. And then he could always be like, you know that percolator thing? All me. Yeah. Oh, Don. Yeah, I still live in my studio apartment. Yes, I still drive the chocolate El Dorado that can barely move. That's fine.

Yeah, absolutely. But I'm in the money. I won't spend that million dollars. It's my friend. It's invested. It's in a pile in my apartment. Even though Count Dante may have successfully pulled off one of the largest heists in American history, a darkness brought on by the cocaine and his own pension for violence was quickly settling over the dead. least man alive. LaMarch at 1975, Dante acted as guest host and probable silent partner for an event

held at the Roseland Ballroom in Taunton, Massachusetts. This event was billed as the Taunton Deathmatches, which nicely reflected just how grim things had gotten for the count. See, the rules for the Taunton death matches allowed anyone to enter off the street and sign up for a spot in a no-holds-barred bare-knuckle brawl, thumbs in the eyes, groin kicks, testicle crushing, anything. and everything was allowed. And most of the contestants were just violent Massachusetts shitheads with no training whatsoever. It sounds like fun, but I bet each fight was like three seconds long. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was just like dudes rolling around on the ground and eventually went, ow! Oh, dude. But bear knuckle boxing is extremely dangerous. Yeah, it's either three seconds or 40 minutes. Yeah, where they're afraid to hate each other? I've seen those where they don't even, like, do it while I'll watch a street fight with the bear knuckle bop, they kind of like hover and they go like, because they don't really want to do it. And then the rest of them are just, they're, they're pretty brutal.

Or it's like, you know, that incredible scene in Deadwood when Dan beats the, you know, he fights a hearse man. Oh, yeah. It's probably the best fight scene ever filmed. One of my favorites ever. It is honestly my favorite fight scene. It's unbelievable. Yeah. The captain, I think is the captain.

Yeah. Some of them are like that. They're fucking make you want to throw up. Yeah, it's awesome. Now, even though this event was a fucking mess, to say the least, Black Belt Magazine still came out for what would be their last interview with Count Dante. During the interview, Dante had a couple of his new students demonstrate the street fighting skills he'd been teaching them

in an attempt to impress the karate journalist. One student sat in a bar stool playing the victim, while another of Dante's students grabbed the seated student by the shoulders before violently kicking the bar stool out from underneath. Another student just punched one of Dante's, guys in the balls as a demonstration of the techniques that Dante was teaching. Very effective.

That punch went right to the balls. Right? It's got a great. He didn't even wait. But near the end of the interview, Count Dante became agitated when the karate journalist steered the conversation towards Dante's possible criminalism. You don't understand. There's contextual, systematic context stuff.

A lot of ins, a lot of outs. Dante said he was afraid of getting arrested in relation to the Perilator heist. And he even speculated. that someone in the Chicago outfit might kill him because of what he knew. Such, Dante claimed that he locked himself in his condo every night, sitting there, staring at the door

with a shotgun in his lap. But luckily for Dante, neither the cops nor the mob read Black Belt magazine, so he suffered no consequences for running his mouth once again. I'm just keeping my shotgun. Keep keeping it company.

But interestingly, here's what the journalist wrote to end his final story. on Count Dante. The journalist wrote that his work, quote, brings him into contact with many who have killed. And such men give off a certain vibration. Dante had it.

But whether he had acquired it in mortal combat or through expert mimicry, we may never know. At least they said my mimicry was expert. It's not even bad. I'll take that. It's a back-ended compliment, but I will take that, yes. And we did get one mortal combat in there.

We did. People have been using it. Mortal combat! Oh! Tint, dint, dint, dint, dint, d'n, d'n, d'n, t'clock. Hoohie! Oh, yeah. Toasty.

Now, while Count Dante's claims about the mafia's attempts on his life sound extremely overblown, there's one more story that implies that there may have been some truth to Count Dante's tale. I think if he made somebody Italian mad, that would make a lot of sense. Yes. Hold on. Count Dante had a tail? I know.

See, about six months after the Perilater heist. Dragon Lord. Lawyer Bob Coooo, Kooley got a call from Count Dante inviting him to come over to his condo in Chicago, because I suppose by 1975, Count Dante had returned to his hometown. Now, Kooley had been avoiding Count Dante for months, and he wasn't the only one in Count Dante's life who had written off the deadliest man alive. Most of the people who'd known Dante during his heyday in the 60s

were done putting up with the co-crages and the grandiosity by the 1970s. Now, grandiosity, it's great for comic book ads. fucking exhausting in real life. What's going on, bro? Yeah, that's right. Dante's back in town. What's going on? You're busy? Yeah, yeah, it sounds like you're busy. Well, you want to go catch some kicks or something? You want to go out later? Maybe you do some sparring or...

Oh, you're busy. How about a fight? Would you like to fight? What if we'd just try to fight each other? What if I could do in the balls a couple of times? You want to come over a few in the balls? You wouldn't believe in Massachusetts how much guys love getting kicked in the balls. Oh, you're not into... You have any cocaine? But for some reason, on that night, Bob Cooley decided to accept Dante's invitation.

When he arrived at Dante's condo, he found that Dante was even more disheveled, coked out, and bloated than he'd ever been. Dante's in a bad way. What's going on? It's got to see you, buddy. It's good to see you, buddy. You wanted a cigarette? You have one? Cooley, however, felt like Dante had called him over to brag, or to prove something to Cooley specifically.

See, at one point, Dante pulled Cooley into a bedroom in his condo and told him, quote, You always thought I was the fuck off. Look at this. At that moment, Dante revealed a cardboard box full of $100 bills. Is that a fuck off? Is that a fuck off box? That's some fuck off bucks, somebody. Who says that?

What a fuck off does? Yeah, that guy, he's such a fuck off. You think I'm the fuck off? Quite possibly could have been the missing million dollars from the Pearl. later heist, but this goes against what we already know about the heist. If you'll remember the perlater heist, it was specifically a good

heist because it involved small bills. So unless Dante took his ill, gotten gained to the bank and exchanged the small bills that he stole in the heist for larger ones, this is likely just a box of money. You could call it a box of money, or you might just say

it's a box of papers. That sort of looked like money. because why would I not be spending this? Yeah. I mean, he has a condo in Chicago. That's pretty good. You know, wow. Yep, you're right.

Yeah. You're rob someone else. You're correct. Well, as far as where he got the money, that question might have been answered that very night. See, Kooley did eventually escape the increasingly uncomfortable hangout. But hours later, Count Dante called Kooli's house. A Kooley, of course, did an answer.

It was the middle of the fucking night. So Dante left an almost panicked message on Kooley's answering. machine. He said, quote, Bob, I got to tell it. I mean, you've got to believe me. What I showed you wasn't real money. It's all counterfeit. You've got to believe me. That's kind of get you off.

Imagine here, buddy. I'm in a lot of trouble. I've lied to a lot of people, right? It's a lot of different things. You've got to come over here and tell this guy this money's counterfeit. It's all counterfeit. It's all counterfeit. It's all counterfeit. It's all been big. I've committed a crime, Bob. You know I don't have that money, Bob. Hold on this. Are you tape?

this. It is an answering machine. It is an answering machine. This is on a tape. Ah! Well, just tell Deborah hello for me. Hey, it's me Dante. I miss you guys and hopefully see you soon.

Whether it's an extreme coincidence or a part of some grander conspiracy, the deadliest man alive may have had reason to be panicked that night because within hours of making that last phone call to Bob Cooley, Count 1 Raphael Dante was dead. According to Bach, Count Dante's living girlfriend at the time called him the next morning and said that the count had been killed and that it was her belief that someone had poisoned him. Now, I can see why she thought that, because if you'll remember from the last episode,

Count Dante had a persistent bleeding stomach ulcer from, quote, dealing with all the politics of the martial arts world. I'm just sick of all the subtle nuances. I'm sick of all the talking and philosophizing. All the highing and the yin. and the endless belts. Honestly, and I might just say, I might have something to do with just how many times

have been kicked in the balls. I honestly think that the doctors might need to look at me for science for how many times a man can be kicked in the balls and still have a penis. Are you making fun of my outfit? Well, that persistent bleeding stomach ulcer, that was listed as his cause of death. Yeah.

And as anyone who's seen a medical procedural knows, dying from internal hemorrhaging caused by a stomach ulcer is usually accompanied by the patient projectile vomiting blood. So I can see why the Count's girlfriend assumed poisoning. Do you have any cups so we can maybe get

some of this blood back inside of me? Because I'm pretty certain of out of this blood that is on the outside of me. It's super crucial to be on the other side. What the fuck? What the fuck? How am I turning inside? It's politics. It's all too many's politics as it's killing me.

Put that metal rod inside of me. We need to cauterize my lungs. There's a problem. There's a leak. There's a mold. There's a mole in my lungs. But interestingly,

when the police came and took the body away, the entire box of cash was missing from the closet. And Bob Cooley is adamant that Dante's girlfriend did not take the money, nor did she hide it. As such, there is still over

$1 million missing from the Perlator heist of 1974. And while there's obviously more to the story here, any secrets that may have painted a fuller picture were lost with Count Juan Raphael Dante, the now former deadliest man alive. The deadest man alive. The deadliest man dead.

The deadliest man. So the cocaine didn't help the stomach ulcer? Probably not. I'm sure it didn't. I'm sure it did not. The extreme bloating caused by the cocaine probably didn't help the persistent bleeding stomach ulcer. He was probably coughing up blood and vomiting blood

for quite a while. Yeah, I thought it was just demonstrating how tough my intestines were that they were beating up my other intestines. I don't like it as Sue. I can only imagine. He is one of the, like, even though he was a piece of shit, yeah. And the world is probably a better

place without him in it. But man, how Count Dante have handled the 90s? How would he have handled the 80s? You know he got in this skateboarding. Hey, listen, be careful but be careful you. About to hear a thing on the news about HIV, okay? Listen, it came down to the fact that, yes, I had sex with a monkey. It's a long

story. It's a long goddamn story. It's a story. It's a story. Well, I hope that chick got that money. Oh, dude, I hope that the Brahmin bull. I just see the bull in a car driving across the country with the box of money next to him just blowing out the fucking window, you know.

I wonder where that money is. But honestly, thanks to the weirdos of America. Yeah. And thanks to my man at my local coffee shop who turned me on to the Count, the Count Dante Tell. I'd never heard of this before. Not at all. He told me about it.

Like, that's an episode. He's like, you've ever heard of the Dojo War? I'm like, I have not. Please tell me more. Yes. We love to hear your stupid stories. Yeah. Yeah, these are amazing.

So go next week, we're coming back with the bit of aliens. All right. And then we've got some other stuff coming on. You're going to see we're coming in the pipe. Very, very. interesting. And are you ready for announcement? It is live.

Our Halloween vinyl album. Go and check out Fright Janssen's revolting repository of ghastly sounds, volume one and two, at Newberrycomcom slash products slash last dash podcast dash on dash the dash left. It's on the newberrycomcom website. I think you could probably just Google last podcast on the left sound effects album. It'll come up. The Instagram is going to be live on our Instagram. It's going to go live on Friday, May 8th at 11 a.m.

Eastern Standard Time. So don't worry if it still says page 404 not found right now. It is coming out. But we want to say thank you for those of you that you're going to really like what we've done here. It is thick. It is as we do here, way over the top. Yeah, very cool. It's genuinely frightening.

And there is a dance hit as composed. I'm going to put this out the butt right now, just so you know, because it's already out. We have a dance hit original piece written by Marcus, myself, Isaac Hansen, and Ash Gordon from our new band, Mass for Trash. Yeah.

I do vocals. I scream. That's great. Yeah, it's really fucking fun. It's just a fun song. The album was so much fun to make. Most of the people on the network were in it. Everyone's day.

We had so many great special guests pop in. It's fucking so much fun. It's vinyl, right? This is the only way you can listen to it. Yeah, right. It's final. is a sound effects album that is not going to be available

on streaming yet. This is, it is literally just, it is entirely on the album. How big is the first pressing? Right. The first one's a thousand and we see, we want to kick it in the more. So that's going to go. Oh yes, and we are in collaboration with

Newbury Comics, David Dussmouchin, sound crafters here in Los Angeles, and with original music by Ash Gordon and Isaac Hansen and featuring everybody here. And there's also a bunch of special guests on the album. Can't wait for you to hear it. It's a lot of fun. I'm just going to fuck you up.

It's actually scary. No, there's some pretty disturbing parts on it. It's really fun to do. Julie's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My life gets... Well, you'll see. You'll see.

You'll see. You'll be a Patreon.com slash last podcast and left to give us money in order to get our shows ad free. You also can see slash stream on the left every Tuesday 5 p.m. PST. You can also go and see all of our socials at LP on the left for all the fucking shits on Instagram, TikTok, whatever. And you also on YouTube, go check out. LPN Romantasy. Who's the B, the Foreign Report? No Dogs in Space is currently coming back.

Yeah. Where you're working there, it's in the pipe. And on LPN TV, that was important thing that you can go look at, HGX2. Season 2 is now live. It is on our YouTube page, LPN TV, and also we have a brand new YouTube, the brighter side. That's right, the brighter side LPN. So go to YouTube.com slash at the brighter side LPN to go follow the brighter side. We're building that up.

It's going to be a new way to watch the Bright Aside, same old show. But we're now, you can see us, which is nice. It is nice. And also, HGX2 is fucking so much fun. It comes out every Thursday at 6 p.m. Pacific. It's eight episodes long, and we're up to four right now, five, if you're listening to this at a normal pace. But yeah, no, it's so much fun. Marcus fucking crushes it.

Henry crushes it. It's a blast. I really can't. It's honestly, it's a return to murder fist, as far as I'm concerned. It is. It was fun. It felt like I finally got to be in a murder fist sketch. Which was fun.

Yeah. Which episode am I in? You are in episode four, I believe. Nice. All right. So that was the other one that comes out today. Yeah. Hell yeah.

No, it's come see my judge. Come see me, Judge. Yes. All right. Well, we'll see you next week. Hail Satan. Okay. You know, fuck him.

I hate him. God damn it. Hail Count Dante. Wow. Wow. In the very end, he comes all the way back around. He really is a piece of shit. And I'm glad he's dead.

dead, but. But it's the idea of Count Dante. Like, I know, yes. Him in theory is amazing. He did some really awful shit, yes, but just take a look at one of the comic book ads. You're like, wow, that's America.

That's a real bad guy. It is. Yeah. And we deserve it. We do.