Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 681: True Crime Round-Up - You're Not Chris Hansen

Episode Date: September 18, 2026

The boys are back with a good old-fashioned True Crime Roundup, starting with a Chris Hansen cosplayer whose predator sting ends in a stabbing at a Tim Hortons THEN a waiter stops an attempted murder -  on camera, a former news anchor pleads guilty to killing her mother in bloody cheese grater attack, and just when you thought he was out... cattle mutilations get Henry back on the alien beat. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. No, no, la, la, la, la, la, la, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Cock, cock, cock, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Gack, cock and cock and fuck. And we can't start like this, Marcus.

Why would you do that? Why would you start? Why would I ever? Why would I ever stoop to the level of dirty words? Fuck, fuck shit. Stuff like that, Marcus.

Everybody knows it's cock and suck. Cock and suck and fucking suck. That's better. Thank you. Yeah, it's a little bit better. I'm just copying Marcus, my hero. The only way he only knows it, that's how he opened shows.

I remember that being an intrinsic part of the vows to your wife. It really was, yeah. That whole 10-minute cock and fucking suck and cock and fucking suck and cock and cock and fucking suck. Yeah. Cock and fucking suck. I mean, I said all that. We rehearsed for weeks.

And then Carolina did all the splacking. Yeah. Yeah. Mrs. Hidalgo, I mean, mom. That was a great wedding. Welcome to the last podcast on the left. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the splacker himself.

Henry Zabrowski. I splack all the way from the front to the back. That's right. And we have a. The family man, Ed Larson. That's right. I'm a family man. I don't have kids and I have dogs and I put hats on them and I call them children.

Honestly, it's better. It's better. You know why? Because if one of them dies, no one's going to come looking. Nobody cares. That's true. That's true. Just keep them off of social media.

You can voluntarily kill it. I don't think you can. What do you mean? Well, I mean, if it's dying. I think there are some rules. Yeah, you can't. just take a dog into the vet and say, hey, I'm tired of this thing.

Wack it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't feel like it's a couple of home-based euthanizers, like those guys that you can pay to come home. There's a couple of them. My bet, kind of like what you do with your grandpa. Oh, like Kavorkians. Dog Kavorkians.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pretty certain that you could probably slip a extra 100 and he'll fucking whack the dog for you. Sir, my dog is depressed. And he's just like, I can tell. Let me get my gun. And today, we're doing a little old-fashioned true crime roundup.

Yeah. Yeah. Bang bang, bang, bang. B'am. Because we really wanted to get back into the true crime spirit of things. We're going to get back into heavy hitters this month. Yeah, we're going to get to a serial killer next month. We're going to cover a Canadian again.

It's been a long time since we've covered a Canadian. And I'm excited because they are the funniest murderers. Because I really feel like we've been so heavy. And, you know, because in terms of we covered the Milai Massacre, we've been talking a lot about the state of the country and the world. and I think it's important to do something light, like a guy that's only murdered and sexually assaulted, like 15 children. 11, please.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's something light, something fun. Yeah, something fun. You know, people are tired of all of these massacres. Let's do Rape Joker. That's fine. Finally.

Because that really does, it takes the tension in the room down. Yeah. It does. You know what the best part of a Canadian serial killer is? What? They apologize. Every time. Every time.

It's almost like they didn't even mean it in the first. first place. Well, we got a few true crime stories to go through because, of course, the world is never bereft of true crime. So let's start with our first story. An influencer known for his efforts to catch alleged child predators is facing charges after being stabbed during an altercation with a person he accused of trying to meet with a minor. No way. That's what's hard is you really got to set them up. I'm really excited for the new movie. The R. Pats movie. Oh, the Cresanson movie. Yeah, that's going to be incredible. My friend reached out. to me because she had a boyfriend

that was featured on to catch a predator after they dated years later. She dated him when she was 15 to 17. He was 17, she was 15. Okay, okay. A little better. That was in high school and literally he smelled like cheese so she broke up with him. And then

later on, turns out he was on to catch predator. He was just one of those guys. He was super, super super, super into it. Yeah. It's funny how those guys sort of just pop up. Like there was a dude from college that was in college radio station and he got busted with like one of the largest treasure troves of child pornography in the history of Texas.

Why is it always a treasure trope? And his last name was Cosby. Can I honestly ask though? Why do they always call it a treasure trope? It's not being surrounded by Smout. You don't need to go on an epic adventure to get C-SAM. You just got to get WhatsApp. Yeah, way too much, I think, is a better way.

Yeah, way too much. The one is way too much. You're right. You're right. Right, right. Because that's an exorbitant amount. An exorbit, but even one. Even one. Yeah, an unreasonable amount.

Even one. More than one. More. How does this sound? How does this sound? How does this sound? Elicit cachet. Oh, I like a placet. A plethora. A plethora. A plethora. A plethora. It's a plethora. And I don't want to go backwards here, but she broke off with him because he smells like cheese? Yeah. That's a bad thing. Well, that's a dick problem. And they weren't not, they're not Wisconsin people then. Yeah, she's not a dirty fucking Wisconsinite that loves a smelly gross man all covered in fungus.

Well, back to this man who was stabbed trying to impersonate Chris Hansen. Nicholas Atala, who goes by Nikki Sal on social media, was reportedly stabbed while confronting two men at a Tim Hortons in Jamestown, New York in December 2025. Atala of Pennsylvania tries to catch potential child predators by posing his minors online. Notice it says tries to catch. This is his, it's his angle. It's his hook. Because honestly, you're not catching the big one every time. Sometimes you've got to throw back.

He has a post of even two days ago of this recording saying, subs only seen it first. I caught a follower. He got one of his own followers. Of course. Of course. You know, and I, unfortunately, I believe, of any of the chains, Timies is where the pedophiles go.

I don't know. would actually say Denny's. Fascinating. You know why? High school drama. High school drama. High school kids hang out at Denny's. And if you catch one out front, crying because she got nullified with her boyfriend after their fifth cup of coffee. They've been

chain smoking cigarettes for six hours. Yeah. That's going to be a girl you can take advantage of. Have you been following the wheel of... Tim Hortons is just old men. Yeah, it could be, but then a lot of old men can be pedophiles. Have you heard of the Wheel of Fortune announcer guy Jim Thornton? Yeah. What he was dealing with?

He covered on this week's side stories Oh my God, that was the story. I've been trying to think for fucking all the day. I was like, there was a story that I saw last week that I would love to talk about, and it's that one. Yes. Because according to him, you got to check out the local golden corral. It's a regular boy fay. That's what he said.

That's a direct quote. So was that because I know that he had claimed that he worked in suicide prevention and that somebody had sent him the link and he cited to open the link on the airplane. And he was only on there for a few minutes. So he's trying to pee Townsend defense. So he told the police officer after the fact, yes, he was researching. It's exactly where Robson.

Yeah, exactly where Robson. He was researching. He said he used to spend a lot of time in suicide chat rooms or anti-suicide chat rooms talking people out of committing suicide because they had a family member that committed suicide. But he spent 57 minutes and this thing, cold lifeline. Chat, which is a chat room disguised as one for general topics, but it's where

men go to talk about, quote, unquote, struggling with feelings of pedophilia. And so the whole idea was that it was a bunch of guys that were supposed to be struggling, quote unquote, struggling with their thoughts about pedophilia, but actually it seemed more like a place where a bunch of pedophiles talked about what kind of boys and girls they like to have sex with. Well, if you're using the words boy fay, then that does not seem like a struggle. That seems like a celebration. That seems like a celebration. Exactly. And it seems that Jim Thornton loved it so much that he decided to

talk about the boy face while wearing his Wheel of Fortune swag jacket. What you don't do. If you're Jim Thornton, you wear a Price's right shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You throw them off the trail just a little bit. A little bit. How about press your luck?

So he is definitely directly quoted, it's in the green. It's so incredible. So you've got, I went to Golden Girl for the first time with my dad and his wife yesterday. A nice hangout for kids. A couple of cute boys and hot little girls. All you can eat, boy, Faye. And I do love that these, it shows that these are not, they're truly human because the response from one of the other guys, Mr. Z is, I haven't been to Golden Growl in decades.

And his response is, it's in Burbank, baby. It's in Burbank right next to where I work as the announcer. as of Wheel of Fortune. I mean, just like, you're, Wheel of Fortune, prime time. It's regular television.

Yeah. You got, Golden Corral? Yeah. That's where he goes to fuck the kids. He's out there to eat. Oh, but you got to think like a predator

to catch a predator. Because if you're going somewhere fancy, you're going to find any kids in a fancy place. They're not there. You go to the place where the kids are running around with parents who don't care about their child's health, safety or well-being. That's Golden Corral, my friend.

Golden Corral sounds like the place that Art Kelly used to pee on girls. Yeah. That's where he used to pee on horses when he was riding him in the park. Did we actually, did somebody, I have this memory of someone telling a story about being a child and drinking directly out of the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral. Oh, I am pretty, that's one of us. I had, no, it's close to that. I had a situation where I was eating the marshmallows directly out of the, um,

You know, by the soft serve, a Ponderosa. And then they caught me eating the marshmallows, and they led me back to my table and kicked me in my entire family out. Un-fucking believable. You're just a fat kid with no supervision. My dad was happy. We didn't have to pay the bill. Oh, hell yeah. It's like, actually, I didn't get in trouble at all. That's the most fat thing you've ever done, son. I'm so proud. Oh, yeah, the chocolate fountain, all of this screams unsupervised.

Well, it's COVID, another COVID loss. the chocolate fountain yeah yeah yeah studio dude you know I want one oh man I want one but

no so he didn't you gonna you wanna go past that I know I don't know I don't know you say cum cum fountain

yeah yeah come fountain yep sure so where we gotta hire a cum guy we have I have a come guy that comes and fills it up where's he gonna source

where's he sourcing the come from if I was him Herbank, baby. Herbank, baby. It's a regular boy thing. It's an absolutely regular boy, fay, you can't even imagine. I don't want to give me a pee.

And let's see what, we go, who wants to buy a value, it was an E? So what happened with this guy? He got stabbed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was trying to, how come this never happened to Chris Hansen? Am I crazy to think it did? No.

It did not happen to Chris Hansen. Well, the difference is that Chris Hansen, he was running a TV. production and he had security and he knew and that's it he knew how to trap these guys he knew how to like get put these guys into a situation where they were kind of dazzled by the lights because that's the thing about Americans is that you put cameras you put lights on us we're dazzled like it's exciting okay I'm I'm on a TV show now all right and so I'm on it disarms them but this guy he just met a guy at a guy at a boo

in a fucking Tim Hortons goes, you're a fucking pedophile! You're a fucking pedophile. Come with me. And, of course, the guy is a psychopath, so he pulls out a knife and he stabs it.

Now, I'm going to tell you how you do this right. You see, if you want to catch a pedophile, you've got to do it with a net. That's the first thing you're doing wrong. You've got to put a copy of Boys' Life on an open hole with wee leaves underneath it, and then you put a net on top of that, and then a man full,

the pedophiles, that's what you're doing wrong here. That's what you want to do if you want to catch a petophile. That's what you want to do. Dude, this Nikki Sal guy, August 26. Help everyone. We're back on the road and we could use some help and he puts his cash app in there.

You've got to be careful, man, with catching predators because sometimes some of them are predators. And also, guess what people really react poorly to? Being called a pedophile. They really don't like it. It makes you angry. Well, at the Tim Horton's in December, Atala accused one of the men, James Morris.

And that's the other thing, too. You've got two guys showing up. So you can't have two guys. James Morris of trying to meet with a 14-year-old girl and allegedly threatened him. As a result, a fight broke out between Atala, Morris, and the other man leading to Morris allegedly stabbing Atala. Atala was hospitalized. The physical altercation endangered a one-year-old child who had been at the Tim Hortons with their family. So this guy, in an attempt to save children, ended up actually endangering a toddler.

I am like, I'm kind of into this, the idea of, like, there's a lot of pedophile baiting on the Internet now that's like, deal. It's kind of been around. Awfully enough, it's been around pedophile baiting. Oh, yeah. And so... I don't know. It's been around for thousands. It's like being the new rapper. No, it's like being a rapper now. You can... They see other people doing it and being successful.

So they're like, I can do that. Yeah. It does make sense because... But you have to remember, I'm going to put this out there to my... To anybody is a vigilante. It's extremely shaky ground to stand on. It's so hard. That's a part of the reason why the whole Chris Hansen thing fell apart.

It's because he had the two guys commit suicide after the fact. And then I believe he was then sued within an inch of his life. And the entire production company was sued and everything fell apart. And it's just really hard. Like that's why it's super important if you're going to catch a pedophile that you dress as a child with a giant lollipop. And he has to fuck you. That is the only way. Oh, my God.

I love the shots from the Tim. The action shots from the Tim. Hortons are on Facebook. This is just another time. They happen, they have these physical disputes. It's always at Tim Hortons, unfortunately. Jim Hortons is the Canadian equivalent of Waffle House. But we got a couple in the north.

Yeah, and they were the worst. I mean, this was actually, this is New York State. This is Upper New York State. That is the single most. Which is basically Canada. If you are, I'm sorry, guys. We have a lot of listeners upstate New York. If you're visiting the Thames in upstate New York, you're wrong.

Yeah, no. You have to fucking stop going there. You have to shut these Tim Hortons down. I like Tim Horton. You are disgusting. It is incorrect. I like the coffee. That is so long.

You are completely, that is the one thing I'm fully going to full body fight you on. Tim Hortons is objectively the worst chain. The only one that's worse is in the UK, Costa. Yeah, yeah. Costa. And I also, I'm sorry. Coffee bean blows. Yes, I also don't like caribou.

Seattle's best. Caribou all fucking sucks. Pete's also sucks. How hard is it to make coffee? It is hard, actually. Well, that's what I like about Tim Hortons because it's like Pete's, I hate Starbucks. I hate Starbucks is drinkable, but I hate them as a company. I don't think they're drinking. I hate Starbucks coffee so much. Tim Horton's coffee, it's got that wateriness to it that you know you're drinking bad coffee. That's disgusting.

And I like that bad coffee. Exactly. That's what it is. It's because I love, I love bodega. I grew up on bodega coffee throughout my, you know, 20s. In 30s, I drink it every single day. You know, the milk and two sugars. It can be fucking, you know, light and sweet. And Tim Horton's coffee has a hint of that to it.

See, I can't drink Tim Horton's coffee because it's weaker than the kids that this guy was trying to fuck. Exactly. Exactly. I can't have coffee for children and full-grown man's coffee. And the food's horrible. Tim Horton's food makes Dunkin' Donuts look like a Michelin-Star restaurant. I like that glazed donuts. I like to get a coffee in a glazed donut.

You're a fucking traitor to this fucking country. Last time I went, the cook asked me to pee in a cup for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I drank it. Oh, man, well, at least you know now. If you're a non-offending pedophile and you want to meet some people, go to two more. That is, honestly, it is nice. You can go there.

You're amongst others, specifically non-practicing pedophiles. Get along well. Someone's got to put holes in those donuts. Yeah. I mean, this guy's just going to end up in jail. this influencer. He's charged with second degree criminal nuisance, endangering the welfare of a child

and third degree assault. He was previously charged in January with first degree assault, third degree criminal possession of a weapon and tampering with physical evidence. I don't know what this guy thinks is going to happen. I don't know what his in-game is. He wants television. His legal challenges

are piling up so fucking much. Well, he's not smart enough to know that there's not a single fucking TV network that's going to take a chance on someone who's so violent. Correct. Yeah. He is not smart enough to understand that. Yeah.

Chris Hansen sort of understood that, which is the reason why he developed it all into a fucking show, right? He developed into a gigantic show because of how popular the specials were. Because you remember, they started his specials. And then they got huge, right? Because everyone was got super interested in because everybody loves watching pedophiles get busted. I did not watch the show. See, I was a big, I love that show. I watched almost every episode.

Well, you love body cam footage. Well, yeah, and we were a big cop's house. I watched a lot of cops. I watched a lot of catcherb. I loved all those shows. I grew up in South Florida. We didn't watch cops. We just looked out the window.

Yeah, it was right there. I met Chris Hanson, but then he was sued into oblivion because of the guys committing suicide, but I also don't think that they were that much. Who sued him? The families of the people that committed suicide. But does that even work? Were they actually pedophiles? Well, let's just say they were there.

It's tricky territory because they went there to have sex. They went there to have sex with a child. If there's no child there, though, actually to have sex with, and if they then they then don't have sex with the child, on some level, there is a legal gap. Like, at some point, like, you can prove all these things that they were on their way to do it and they showed all these things. But in the very, very end, if they didn't actually do something, they can often be just let go. So a lot of these guys that were caught into Catch a Predator went through the system, went through all the stuff. And then when there's not enough tangible evidence to put them in jail, they're just let out.

So what do they like, they show up and they're like, oh, I was just, I was going to show up and tell them to not do it. Literally. A lot of guys do that often. And then a lot of guys, they'll do a thing a lot. You'll see a lot, especially if you see these. They claim that like I was, this was a fantasy. I never expected it to be a real little girl.

I thought it was another adult that was like doing a fantasy with me. Even if they get all the way to the point where they're in, front of one of the copycats in the room, they still kind of have this idea of like, this was never all supposed to be real. And that's how they quote unquote get away with it. Yeah. And Rob is scrubbing through some footage right now. And as you can see, like, there was one scene where there were about four cops chasing after a guy. Oh, yeah. They had armed cops there. So Chris Mason worked with the police? Well, they hide. They hide in the background. And then he interviews them for a few minutes first. And then eventually he's like, well, I have

something to tell you. I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline. And then as soon as he said, says that all these cameras come out and then they're like, oh, fuck. Yeah, well, then they walk out and the cops are normally there to arrest them. But if there is no evidence, they can't keep them. Wow. So this is where free cable blowjobs comes from. He does. He really?

Yeah, of course. Yeah. God, I love that. Oh, but, uh, can I suck you out? Is a very interesting topic. Chris Hanson's an interest. I love to do a deeper dive on him. Chris Hansen is a strange individual.

Very strange. Bye. And quite litigious. I am looking forward to the Robert Pattinson movie though But I want man I saw the Odyssey Yeah loved it Yeah Pattinson was phenomenal

I love our Patts And that's the thing is that I found I discovered that I like him more as a villain Me too Than is anything else He's got bad guy face He's incredible bad guy Because the way he juts out

His bottom jaw is perfect And his eyebrows Yeah A bad guy eyebrows Yeah and he can go from being Looking tough to looking scared It's the cowardly villain. He's so well.

He's a great actor. He's incredible. And also, I love his Batman. Yeah, I loved his Batman too. And I also thought, was it Mickey 19, Mickey 17? I never saw it. Underrated. He's the only, he's the reason why that movie's watchable.

People, yeah, Mark Ruffalo kind of fucks it up with his, like, Trump character. I hate his Trump character. Yeah, he really, he does, like, he drags the whole movie down. It looks like written by, like, Rachel Maddow. I know. But if it was, but the thing is about it is that if we were in, Still in an era where a bunch of movies were coming out all the time It would have been seen, I think as a really fun

Like kind of classic genre sci-fi movie that But everyone wanted it to be like the next parasite and they wanted it to say all of this shit and it's like it's just a fucking sci-fi movie And it's okay that it's just a sci-fi movie It's interesting that you say that rofalo was bad at his like Trump character It's because he's so opposite of it you kind of need someone who James Woods probably would have been a better casting. Yeah. Or why do you think Alec Baldwin

was so good at it? Because he's so close to him. Yeah. He really is. He's the most like Trump of the left. Yes. That's why it worked. Well, now he's regulated to doing memes with his wife. Have you seen the most recent memes? He does a lot of meme videos with

Aladia. I could care less. She makes him rap. He looks like he wants to blow his fucking brains out. Yeah, because he used to be something. Yeah, he really did. He really, really did. Now he's essentially a nanny. How do we feel about Chris Hansen?

Is he a good guy? Is he a bad guy? He is a straight down the middle. Right? He is dubious. Yeah. Yeah, I would say, I'm chaotic neutral. Chaotic neutral.

Because he's doing something that I feel like has to be done. Yeah, but it's also very dangerous. And it's for your own personal glory, which pisses me off too. He benefits entirely. Because he thinks he's some kind of fucking hero. Yes, he benefits entirely and a lot of the cases get thrown out. And as you can see, he, he inspired so many people

who are just going out and causing chaos in the world for no gain whatsoever Yeah Like all this guy did This fucking influencer all he did was get into a fight at Tim Hortons And almost kill a one year old child Yeah see that's kind of what we've been saying More and more on side stories

It's like Don't hurt your local pedophile Don't like Don't do bad like physical things to them Torture them mentally Sure yeah gangstock Like gangstalk them with their shit around Like do that kind of stuff.

Like deflate their tires and their car. Like right pedophile on their fucking mail a lot. If you get arrested for anything, get arrested for harassment. You can beat that. Yeah, you can beat that. Especially if you should. Never touch them. Yeah.

Never, ever touch them. Never touch them. Always just do right on the border and do a lot of, oh, you're going to hit me pussy? You're going to hit me pussy? Yeah. And then when they do, what do you do, Henry? Oh, oh, my neck. Oh, my back.

Oh. That's my strategy. That's my fight strategy, Marcus. Well, what you do is you'd never let him know what's you. You do it completely anonymously. We're a mask. Yeah, you cannot let him. You can't even let him know that someone is fucking with him.

You have to make him question his own sanity. It's gangstocking 101. Russian tactics. Russian tactics always win. And FBI tactics and CIA tactics. We learned. In Scientology tactics. They learned it to us.

They learned it from you. Scientology. That's because I was watching you. I learned it from watching you. from your blade. A former Ohio attorney was found guilty of attempted murder after he tried to shoot and kill his ex-wife in a restaurant. Matthew Exton, 43, attempted to shoot his ex-wife inside the Suke restaurant in Toledo, Ohio

on April 11, 2025. Exstim was found guilty of attempted murder in two counts of felonious assault with two firearms specifications attached to each of the three accounts he's scheduled to be sentenced. On September 21st, prosecutors alleged that Exton, walked into the restaurant with a loaded firearm, pointed it at the victim, and attempted to fire the weapon, according to an arrest warrant.

However, Exton's weapon failed to discharge as the weapon appeared to still have the safety on. Oh, man. Now, the key here is the video. The video is, if you can go and watch it, it's crazy. So he comes in, I think he's wearing a Chicago Bears jersey or something. What is he?

It looks bears. It looks like Bears' color. It's fairs colors, for sure. Hold the video here, Rob. He's definitely not pretending to be anyone else. Okay. This is a full hypothetical, obviously. You're going to go kill your ex-wife.

What are you wearing? Because you've got to get, you know you're waking up that day to kill your ex-wife. Yeah. Right? You're ready to kill your ex-wife. You know you're putting the clothes on that are going to be in the videos and the mugshots. Am I doing it like this in the middle of a restaurant? Yeah, let's say you're, you've gone completely.

insane. I don't care about getting caught. Yeah, no. The goal is to be caught. Okay, all right. That changes everything. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm not, if that's the thing, if I'm doing it this brazenly, I'm not thinking, I'm not going to be thinking about what I'm wearing. You see, that's funny. I'm the opposite. I would be wearing, like, a message on my shirt. Oh, dude. Back a hat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Muddly the water's as much as possible. That's a good, that's a good. Yeah, yeah. Just throwing fucking whatever out there, dude, Chaff, dude. Yeah.

Maybe, I don't know, a Nixon mask. That's fun. Yeah, and maybe like a Nixon T-shirt. And Nixon's the one. Yeah. Every piece of Nixon

merchandise I can find just dress head to toe. I think I'd finally wear... And I'll yell, did it for you, Dick! I did it for you, Dick! I think I'd finally wear all that Asian gear I'm not a lot of wear anymore.

You know what? That big kimono I'd wear. I'd wear the big cone hat. Oh, yeah. You wouldn't go to Shiki? Ooh. No, because you don't, I don't want to be racist.

If you ever has a chance of coming back, you can't be the guy who wore it to kill his wife. No, that's a thing. I'm just going to end it even more. I'm a fat man, Deshiki advocate that is looking for the pan... You need a window back in. I need the pan racial to be back on me. Sure, sure.

Okay, so yeah, you can wear, I guess, wear the kimono and the... Pan racial. Yeah, pan racial. Gotcha. And so, all right, so we cut to this. So he goes to fire the gun, right? Yeah. And it jams.

And the woman, he didn't forgot to tell the safety. And the ex-wife knows exactly what's happening. She puts her hand out and she yells, no. Well, she set up her phone. She saw him coming through the window and set up her phone. There's actually an angle from her phone. She, like, set it up to record whatever he was going to say to her because she knew it was going to be super abusive.

Yeah. And then it's fucking, and then she's just, she caught him, like, pointing the gun at the phone, basically. Which is fucking crazy. But who saves her? The waiter. The waiter. And I've never, not that I've never seen a waiter. Save anybody.

No, waiters do good. No, waiters do good. And, well, you got to remember, man, like, Whoa. Wow. The angle from her phone is fucking heroin. Yeah, it really is. But, you know, we've all worked as...

She's laughing like it. She's like, oh, what's he going to fucking do? Yeah. We've all worked as waiters at one point in our lives. I haven't. You haven't? No, I've never done food service. Really?

I've only worked as a waiter when waiters didn't show up. Gotcha. And so I was just angry and then told everyone to go fuck them to house. No, I never had the skill. set. I was never good enough to be a waiter. Oh, no, no. I got fired from every waiter job I ever got. I was really bad at it. I knew I was not. That was not for me. I got back a house face. But back when I was, you know, but back when I was dabbling in the food service industry, like, we didn't really think about the mass shooting, like the mass shooting possibility. Like, people who

work in public now, every single one of them thinks about that. They think about, they have to. They have to think about, like, what's going to happen if a guy comes in here with a gun. And that guy, that waiter obviously had decided that if a guy comes in with a gun, I'm going to have to fucking tackle him. But to save as many people and also to save himself. I think it's so daunting that we keep putting this back on our people that work for minimum wage. Yes. No, it's a, it's a tragedy.

It is really fucked up that we're at a point where that waiter had to do something like this. Because also, again, a big message, y'all, don't kill your ex-wife. You know what's the most excellent revenge? A life well lived, yes. That is the most excellent revenge is to lose that weight. That guy got on a peloton, lost some weight, got a better attitude, learned how to play guitar, maybe got a better job, maybe got to shave his face, got a better hair cut, maybe if he had a bit, you know, like all that kind of stuff,

maybe he'd be seeing more dividends in his day-to-day life. Well, he claimed that his life was ruined by the divorce, hence the attempted murder. In his testimony, Essex said he was frustrated by how she'd handled their divorce, which occurred in 2024. He said he became homeless after their split, despite working as a prosecutor in Michigan and practicing law in Ohio. So it sounds to me that this is a man who does not know how to manage his life in any way whatsoever. If he's a lawyer and he's homeless, he must be a really bad. lawyer. Like if you're a fucking lawyer

and you end up homeless, you fucked up. Yeah, he's calling himself homeless because his wife took the house. You know, I'm sure he has an apartment that he rents. You know, he's just like literally just adding to the drama. No, he's just a pricking prick and he thought that he could just kill her and I'm so glad she lived.

That's the best part about the story is that she gets to number one. First of all, what does every woman of a certain age love to be? Right. Oh. My mom is just like, there's things you could do. Like, there are things the way my mom even kind of just thinks about stuff that's just been like, uh, sometimes it's just wonderful.

I got to fight that abuser. Like, just because it gave her strength, right? She loved the idea of it. This woman is invincible now. Oh, you could see. As soon as the shooter was taken down to the ground, she stands up and starts standing and starts pointing her finger at him, fucking yelling at him. You fucking idiot.

You can't do it. anything right. You can't even fucking kill me. You're a bad lawyer. You're bad and fucking. You're bad of being a husband. You got a stupid hat on. That jacket doesn't fit. You're fat. You're coming here and try to kill me in this nice restaurant. This fucking place never asked for that. That fat fuck got taken down by the replacement waiter.

He was the one who came over when the shift ended for Shelley that picked up the beginning of the jack. I didn't even get to touch my calf. My calf to egg rolls. Look, I can't talk these look good or not. Oh, no. No, yeah, no, those are probably, that's Kofta, which is, you know, that do you like what's his butts? Do you ever get those? One of my favorite meats at a Mediterranean restaurant, like, because I love the... It's the stick.

It's like a hamburger on a stick. See, I like the poopy, the ones that look like poops. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're good. I like the poops. Oh, I like that. That's what that is. That's the poops. That's the poops meat in Mediterranean food when they put it in a spring roll.

Okay, well, I like Afghani food. Yeah, you like the poop meat. Yeah, I do like the poop meat meat. Yeah, I do. I do like the poops to me. But I don't like pre-cut egg rolls, though, because they get cold on the inside. Yeah, I don't like pre-cuttings. Oh, that's a really good point.

I don't like pre-cut eggs. Because also, to me, it shows all the grease is coming out. It's presentation. It's kind of, we don't need to do this. Yeah, I don't need to see what's on the inside. Because what's on the inside of an egg roll is never appetizing. They dry out. Yeah, they dry out.

It's why it's in an egg roll. It's wrapped up. This one comes from Brittany G. In Toledo, she says it's patio season, and the patio at suke is hard to be. Comfortable seating and lovely views. maybe that's why he went to go shoot her there It's like, thank God there's a patio Oh, I can see right in

Excellent Perfect place to kill your ex-wife Yeah, they got great reviews Unless Mario is on Is doing his shift Because then he's gonna take you down He's been waiting to attack a customer For years

Because that's the thing Never give a waiter an opportunity To attack you They have been filled with so much Pen Up rage about the customer This guy finally gets to attack a customer. That's how... He's justified in attacking a customer.

That's... Every... Everyone who has ever worked in customer service has had that fantasy. And you want it. You want it. You want it to be able to, like, just like, one day, just someone's going to come in. I'm just going to take out all this fucking rage I have on that fucking asshole.

My manager at Borders was like, if someone shoplifts from here, you were to chase him into the street and get those books back. And it was like, absolutely. not. No. Yeah. You know what it reminds me of.

It reminds me of, what's the new snake documentary called God of Snakes? Oh, monsters of God. Monsters of God. The way, when they start off episode two and talk to the undercover cop and he says, like, I can't wait for one of them to come into my house. I masturbate to the thought of one of them coming to my house. And he's just surrounded by guns. So many guns.

It's the nicest gun room I've ever seen in my life. I masturbate to the thought of that. That's everyone who works in customer service. Oh, just wait for someone to come in that they can unleash all their rage on. I remember I was working security at the Shania Twain concert when I was a kid. I was 16 years old, full football, I'd be probably strongest ever been my whole life. You know, yeah. I know you're telling the story.

Ed, I just got to say that, don't impress me much. Oh, yeah. Bam, bam, bam, bam. Good work, Marcus. Thank you. So I'm sitting there, my job is to guard the back of the hill of the lawn. The guy's like, if anyone runs up the hill, you got to stop them. You don't let him in the concert for free.

And then my 16-year-old ass, I'm just sitting up there. I'm like, if anyone tries to come up, I'm just going to let them in. Good for them. Yeah, who gives them. Yeah, who cares? 30 minutes later, I'm like, someone comes up this fucking hill. I'm going to tackle them so goddamn hard. I'm going to beat the...

Yeah, yeah. If you're allowed to fucking uncork your rage on somebody. Yeah, that's what they give you. Never give that power to a 16-year-old. Ever. No, now I just take it to Reddit. And then I just started walking around the crowd looking for people smoking weed. People are going to hate me for this.

I found some guys smoking weed, and I put my flashlight in his face. I was like, hey, give me that. I work here. He's like, what are you going to do? I was like, give me your weed. You know, he gave it to me that left, and I went smoking out of the chop. I'll buy the back when it's a giant's way concert. That's okay.

That's okay because you smoked it Actually that that is totally fine Yeah yeah Because at the end of the day He was probably so happy That he didn't get kicked out of the concert Yeah that's fine I also got arrested there

For smoking weed like weeks later That's karma Unfortunately that is karma I went to a Wu-Tang concert Before they were three hours late I was there with a date We went We had rolled up a huge ass blunt

We were there for like two hours waiting. They ended up show up until like, it was like three hours 15. I light up the blunt and the second a bouncer comes, grabs the blunt out of my hands, throws it on the ground, stumps on it. I would have rather him smoked it. Yeah.

Like that is where it's supposed to go. It makes me angry when they waste that shit. I'm surprised like, that's how I know you really are a germaphobe because I would have tried to light that shit back up. No, he destroyed it. Oh yeah? Yeah, he destroyed it. He was just like and I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. This is so much worse than the smoke.

That was just a ground-up weed For someone else Fucking sweep up Fire him Live from North Lane Speaking of Speaking of just something else

For somebody else to sweep up TV's news anchor Stabbed her fucking mother A former news anchor Fadley stabbed her mother In her own bed during a horrific Halloween attack Before allegedly claiming she did it

To quote Save Myself Angeline Angie Mock Actually I read that and I was like There's no way her name's Angelin It is Yeah it's Australian Well she's usually because I believe

She's from Wichita This is Kansas Yeah Angelin is that very Angeline Angelian Angie Mock 48 Entered a guilty plea to first degree murder In connection with the death of her 80 year old mother Anita Avers

On October 31st of last year Inside their shared residence in Wichita Kansas disturbing fresh details Regarding the crime scene have surfaced in a probable cause affidavit, responding officers discovered Aver's unresponsive in bed dressed only an underwear and a bra,

positioned beneath blankets in an extensive pool of blood, bearing severe stab wounds to her face, head, neck, torso, and arms in a particularly chilling detail four blood-covered kitchen knives and a bloodied cheese grater. Oh, no! ...were allegedly positioned on a pillow

beside her head. Court record stated, all the utensils had blood on them. Wow. So she fucking got out the cheese grater on her. Got out the cheese grater. Now do you think, all right, pre or post murder? I think post.

Because Ayers was transported to the hospital, but subsequently succumbed to her injuries, she was still alive when cops showed up. She was still alive? Yeah. So she was just cheese grating her somewhere. Yeah, cheese grating her, stabbing her with four different knives. I mean, it's anger. Yeah.

She's really taking out a lot of anger. and also extreme mental illness. Yeah, well, sorry, so she's in her bed, okay? She's in her bed, she's laying there, she's sleeping, the victim, okay? The woman comes in, she hates her mom, she stabs her, then she goes to the kitchen and gets another knife? No. Or does she show up with a bucket of knives and a cheese grater and then just starts going to town?

How would you do it? I mean, I would probably get one. I imagine I would stab once you break the knife because knives aren't always as strong as you think there, they hit a phone, they break. Yeah, that's why oftentimes you get it. cut really bad if you stabbed them. She did. She didn't get cut really bad. She got taken the hospital with cuts to her hands. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that she stabbed once, didn't work, went and got another knife, and then like, it didn't work

again. Then the third time, she's like, all right, I'm just going to bring a punch back. You also be surprised. I do genuinely believe that at some level you'd be surprised at how you would react to getting murdered. I think everybody assumes that when you get stabbed a couple of times, especially because she, this is an old woman. It's an old woman. I think a lot of people assumes, oh, you're going to freak out and you're going to try to run away. I can also see you are so overwhelmed by the experience that you're not even really, like, people talk about it, not feeling real. People talk about it all being like, like all rushing together. So you can kind of see how she might have just laid there

in a half asleep state. And it's also your daughter. Yeah. You stab you too. It's not some stranger. Exactly. There's that old expression. Like everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. Mike Tyson. I've got a little bit of a timeline here. Okay. Detectives say Mock later claimed she had gone into her mother's bedroom

to discuss an upcoming TV job interview when she found Avers quote unquote, sharpening knives. Her mother was apparently sharpening knives. My mom always does that before going to sleep. Mock alleged her mother came after her

with a knife and fought her before she grabbed a knife herself and got On top of her, investigators also reportedly describe a trail of bloody droplets throughout the residents. They reportedly discovered a bloody butcher knife alongside Mock's phone on a living room coffee table, while the victim's blood-soaked phone had been discarded in the kitchen sink. The affidator reveals Mock made startling allegations about her mother during questioning, and this also has a little bit of bearing on how much you believe of the assailant story. She allegedly insisted Avers was the devil.

And spewing venom and maintained she stabbed her mother because she believed her life was in danger. Of course, a mock stepfather told authorities her mental health had significantly deteriorated following her dismissal from her broadcasting career. What is it about news anchors? I feel like news anchors in what respect are like low-key some of the more unstable people. Yeah, really? Because you've kind of see, there's a lot of, like, there is weird news anchor. Boring.

But I feel like that's kind of the issue. I feel like there's a lot of times we project this idea onto news anchors. Kind of like, the story, the famous story with the astronaut, with the diaper, and she drove across the country and all that kind of shit, where we're like, do rational people do this? And they start to find out, like, oh, within the science community, there's quite a lot of lunatunes. Yeah.

A lot of crazy people in science community. They are just good at their jobs. They just think a certain way and you apply a boring label to them because you assume they have to be boring to be a scientist. We're same thing with, like, news anchors. I feel like a lot of times they end up being kind of crazy. Well, they aren't just professional

busy bodies. Yeah. They're going somewhere. I ask, but hey, hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing? What's going on here? Let's see if we can find someone who's willing to talk to us. Matt Lauer was a crazy guy, right?

He's a bad dude. We got, what's his butt? Kelly Rippa Skinny. Yeah. You got the, I'm trying to think of the liar, Johnson. I mean, for the most part, you know, they're pretty level. Like, you know, what do you call it? What's his name?

Good night and good luck. Edward R. Murrow. Yeah. He was very good. You know, I would say Sam Donaldson. It's not wrong with him, right? I don't know. I grew up watching Sam Donaldson.

I love Sam Donaldson. Ted Cople does weird stuff. Yeah. You know, I mean, I feel like the guys do weird stuff. Marve Albert, we know, did weird stuff. Yeah. How do we, is Haraldo considered? news. He's considered

amongst, he's there, but yeah, he's a crazy one too. Yeah, he was. Yeah. From what I read, I read a book not too long ago about meditation. It was called 10% Happier, and it was written by a TV news anchor who had discovered, like, meditation

helped him to calm down. The craziest ones are the war correspondents. Those are the ones that are... But they're just awesome. Yeah. They're amazing. They're just smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey. Yeah, and this guy was a war correspondent at some point. He went from like the desk to to religion to war correspond.

Man, who was the, who was the chick that was played by Gone Girl with the eyepatch? Yeah. She was fucking awesome. Oh, what was her name? Rosamond Pike? Roseman Pike was the actress who played the journalist, the famous journalist. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was fucking badass, dude.

I love that shit. I don't know if news anchors had. I think this is more of a schizoaffective type of situation. I don't know. This is like I would say actually I would say there probably aren't a lot of Schizophrenics in the news anchor business Side stories L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com

Do you know someone with schizophrenia? No, it's a good movie. In the news business? To die for. When's the last time you all seen that? Oh, the Nicole Kippman one? Yeah. She's like the next anchor serial killer.

Oh, man, this is the 90s. Oh, yeah. I love all that shit. Nightcrawler's good. Yeah, it is. I love that kind of stuff. All right, well, I hope that she gets better. She had previously been employed at Fox 2 in St. Louis, Missouri,

establishing herself as a recognizable presence on local television following her hiring in 2011. Oh, man, because I love local news. Oh, yeah. I fucking, every time we go somewhere and play a show, I spend most of my time in the hotel room just watching the local news. I love, especially in other countries. I love local news. in other countries, local news.

But yeah, like the local news in Tulsa, Oklahoma, or in Tulsa was incredible. Like, there was this whole story on a horse girl that had the most incredible name in the world. I actually do have to look this up. I took pictures. No one I like just as much as local news is local radio commercials.

Yeah. Pittsburgh? Yeah. Pittsburgh has some of the best radio commercials possible. You always find out. That's wrong with that town. It is my favorite. Exactly.

What are their main problems? It is the Pittsburgh accent in an official capacity. It is one of my favorite things. Like, hearing a guy in Pittsburgh accent saying stuff like, trouble going on in Iran and he, you know what I mean? Like, it's one of my favorite things in the world. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there was a new story about a girl.

She was a horse girl. She was a rodeo girl. Her name was Piper Tune. Oh, yeah, dude. She had to be a dude. She had to be a horse girl, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah, no.

Her mother's Heather Toon. Heather Toon. Heather Toon. Oh, man. I love local news so much. Oh, and there's also, I also love to see all of the different mistakes they make. Like, here's, I have a picture here of their news report in which they wrote number of tipple digits instead of triple digits. And I watched the news for a whole hour.

They didn't correct it the second time around either. No one caught it. I love Love local news Because you get to see this guy Daryl Riggins Oh I love Daryl

I'll have to send this to you're up So you can put it up on the video Oh poor Daryl Daryl's just trying to be a man Well he was arrested with a mobile Meth Lab Oh yeah Like I said

Just trying to be a man Just trying to be a guy Just trying to make it through Just trying to make it through So This is the first time I've seen that a A local news anchor has been directly involved in a brutal murder in which she thought that her mother was Satan.

Yeah. Hey, man, good for her. Here's the first. Yeah, you never know. You never know. You never know. And speaking of brutal murder, brutal mutilations, cattle mutilations back in the news. Thank you.

It's news you can use. I feel like this is. You remember? Yes. The news. You can use. So Oh wow, I guess we did also skip right past pedophile corner

We really did, yeah Ow, oh, don't touch me Yeah, we did skip right by it. Oh, oh, don't touch me. It was more about the pedophile hunter than it was a pedophile. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we've grown. See ya. So I got to say, Henry, with all the shitty alien news

that's been coming out lately, with the FBI dumping everything on us and we can't care about it because it's all coming from fucking shithead Patel. It's all stuff that we've seen. Yes, it's all stuff that we've seen before. A lot of the stuff that's been re-released in these new aliens.gov fucking horse shit has all been released into various areas. We've all seen these videos already.

Cash Patel also thought it was really cute to make it all look like X-Files so they can continue to make fun of us from this idea of that we are obviously so stupid and naive to even want this proof. He has to make sure to insult us while we're receiving it. Yes. Yes. That is the key. That the key is to make sure we still know that we're wrong and stupid. How much of the community knows they're being insulted? I'd say straight at 50%.

And the other 50% right now we're just kind of chasing after this other idea of disclosure that is gone. Yeah. I mean, well, they want it so bad. And they think that maybe this is right. And so they'll chase, it's the information hounds. They'll chase every single bit of information. They think if they gather enough information, then they'll see something that nobody else will see.

They'll see the pattern. This idea, too, that if we, people that like the movie Disclosure Day are exactly kind of the issue, right, which is this idea that that in someone in an official capacity within the government is finally going to give everybody the proof that they need as if the phenomena itself can be even recorded in that way. Yeah. It cannot.

No. We know it cannot. Well, you know, we don't know if it can't. You're right, Eddie. We don't. We don't know what we don't know. Yeah, we don't have the technology to record it just yet. There might be some infrared camera that captures some, like, that would be really cool.

If one day there was this camera where they find some frequency where they actually can show like, oh, that's what it actually looks like. I feel like I would require entirely understanding human consciousness, which they'll never do. See, I'm more talking about extraterrestrials. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. No, that's what I mean. It's like if we got...

Because I could see not being able to photograph the UAPs. Sure. But the actual like things walking around. Oh yeah. You got to be able to take a photo of them. Oh yeah, of course. But they don't want to be taking pictures of apparently. You know, it really is when you're at a concert in Los Angeles,

like a big concert in Los Angeles. That's really when you start to have that question. Like it's me and Caroline were enjoying a hot dog at the Rose Bowl. We went and saw guns and roses, and that's when she leaned over and asked like, so do you think aliens are just walking around among us? Because you see that at those sorts of concerts. That's when you really see just the true weirdos of Southern California. Oh, yeah.

L.A. is trying to be human. Yeah, trying really hard to be human. Is where aliens have went. Yeah. If they are anywhere, they're here. Yeah, yeah. If they want to gain some notoriety.

Hey, they want to make in the biz. Well, here, but my theory, they're in the dead. desert. They're just outside of here in the desert because I saw so many desert people at that Guns and Roses show. Yeah, like the Skinwalker Ranch's neighbors. Yeah. I'll get into all that one day. One day, yeah. So, but this is one of the things that I really, I don't believe in this shit. No offense, Henry. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Sure. But the cow mutilation thing is the only thing I can't figure out or have like any kind of can't explain away. No one can. A new documentary, not one drop of blood. available to stream this week on Amazon Prime Video, investigates the enduring phenomenon and the recent cluster of cases in Oregon's remote Harney County.

The mystery intensified in February 2021 when one mutilated cow was discovered on ranchland before six more were found across the county with body parts missing and reportedly no blood remaining. One local law enforcement officer admits in the film that the baffling evidence has pushed him towards an extraordinary explanation, quote, it's aliens and I should know because I've lived in Horny County

my whole lot I legitimately this is legitimately one of the more mysterious parts of the entire phenomena because what's doing it if there's no footprints

there's no blood they always say like there's always an idea that there was some kind of predator behavior that there's some kind of poaching behavior it just doesn't match any practitioner that we know.

Why would you poach a cow and not take its meat? Yeah, and only take its blood. Only take its blood? It's tongue, it's testicles, and it's udders. And that's constant. That's what they all do. The one thing that's different about this is in the past I've seen, they say it's like a laser that cuts it off.

And this, they say a scalpel. But that's also, I mean, that just might be the term that that dude is using, using his own knowledge. Okay. Yeah. I mean, because you're not talking, you're not talking to a medical professional there. talking to some small-time sheriff who's just using his own. Some guy of laser get it?

You know those wonderful plates the president makes? Laser cut with the beautiful bosoms of Melania. Yeah, that's what he's talking about. Yeah, one of the craziest things for me is just growing up and, you know, on ranches in Texas and, you know, seeing dead cattle around everywhere, it's the fact that the cows just drop where they are. It's not like they're being chased. It's not like they're... Yeah, it's weird. They just drop and then they're done.

The more interesting thing is no other scavenger animals ever eat them. That's a huge thing. That is a massive thing because that's what you do. Like, you want to actually get rid of, you know, cow, when... Because cows die all the time, like when you're a rancher. Like, it just fucking happens, disease, whatever. Yeah. You have to get rid of them because otherwise you're just...

You're a coyote. buffet. Yeah. It's a feast. Yeah. It is very interesting. They don't get touched. It's also, what are they getting out of it? What do they get out of it? What is the point of this? Besides, is it practicing for us?

Maybe they're taking their fucking, they're dicking their balls and their tongues and they're making new cows in space and eating cheeseburgers on planet Zinot. Also, cow tongue is delicious. It's fine. Cheeseburger on planet Zena. You don't like tongue? No.

Not really. We've had it, though. Yeah. I made you eat it. I've had it in the Jewish delis. Like, I've tried it multiple times. My father made me try it as a child because he thought it was funny because it's just like it was back when they were just like, you know, have like a tongue.

Oh, yeah. In the, in the deli case. I was just, you know what? I don't think I, there's so many other good parts of a cow. See, I've ever had. I don't want to eat its tongue. Have you ever had Langua? The Spanish version of tongue?

No. Mexican version of tongue? No. Maybe I have. It's stewed. Stude. See, stewed tongue. I try.

Do it makes sense. You have Minuto? No. He doesn't have that. That's all the thing. But I'm also, I'm super not into tripe. Yeah.

I like tripe. I had tripe in Soweto, and it was gray, and I was scared, and I did it out of courage, and I thought it was delicious. Really? Yeah.

I like liver and onions. Yes, so do I. Oh, liver and onions. It's phenomenal stuff. Dude, Carnival? He showed me Lebanese. Oh, dude. Liver and onions?

It's the best form of liver and onions I have ever had in my life. Carnival restaurant in, in Studio, All right. I'll try that. It's filled with strength. Iron. Give me a chance.

No, this is the, this is one of those. I actually just had a long conversation with a friend of mine about this idea. Because we still are very much, I'm still very much of the mind that if they are physically here, it's bad news. And that this is an example of why it's bad news. Because the, let's just say. I think they're safer than we are. What do you mean? If they're around, I'm less scared of them than I am of human beings.

You think, I just, my, my view is they are still just curious, but it's neutral. And neutral's bad. Neutral's bad versus positive. Because neutral means they don't, doesn't matter what the outcome of the engagement that they have with us is. It isn't matter. Like, so they, we, I don't think we feature very much in their plans. I think that they are looking at an ant hill. Very much so.

I don't care that it exists, but as a moment it fucks with me, I'll kill it all. Basically. Yeah. That's how I do it. I mean, my fantasy, I do have a fantasy of the nature preserve theory. Sure. That the galaxy finds Earth to be such a beautiful, strange place that it likes to keep it the way it is, like a nature preserve. Like we would, a nature preserver, a national park.

And they come and visit us all the time. To look at it. to look at it, and it's like, it's a tourist spot. It's a tourist trap. Or we're the last reserves of resources in this part of the universe, and they're waiting until they're completely done. Yeah. And then they like Starship Troopers in a way.

They better hurry up because we're almost out ourselves. Oh, buddy, I actually think that's part of the uptick of all the activity. I think it's a part of the uptick of the activity. It's like, oh, fuck, we might need to go get that stuff before they ruin everything. But also it doesn't matter because the Earth's going to be. here for all. The earth doesn't even care what kind of climate, what we do to it. It's just going to kill us.

Yeah. And then it's going to go back to normal. Yeah, we've only been here a few hundred thousand years. Yeah, it's going to kill humans and the earth's just going to go right back. It's going to snap back. It'll go through an ice age, fix itself, and it'll come back. Yeah, it's going to be great. Four billion years. Yeah. It's snapped back many, many, many times. Yeah. Many, many, many times. We don't even know what the fuck happened. Dinosaurs were 65 million years ago. We don't know what the fuck's happened on this God damn rock. Yeah, before that man, Gumbies.

I wish. Gumbies. There might have been humans 10 times. We have no fucking idea. Now we're getting him in there. Now we're really pushing him in there. Now is deep in the waters. That's bad talk, man. He's getting in there. That's Lemurian talk. Yeah, that is Limerian talk.

You know? He's really getting into it. There's two really cool documentaries that just came out, like a series. One's called Eons and one's called Humans, both on PBS. They will answer many of the questions that you just posed. Oh, okay. Eons is by far the worst 311 album.

This is why they're not coming, folks. This is why they're not coming out. Because we're just, we're all mixed up. Yeah, we're dumb. We're dumb. They don't know what to do with us. We can't help. Yeah, when day you turn around, you find the muscle is you.

Is that what the lyrics are all mixed up? I don't know. I don't know. And then I start hitting the bong. And then it's all up this. It's like I just wait for the middle to come back. Where are we at, Rob? All right. All right.

Well, you know, I just got to say, what a breath of fresh air this has been. Hasn't it been fun? Because it's nice to talk about topics freely just a little bit, talking about some true crime, getting you in there. Yeah. Coming back up to speed, getting a little bit. Because we've been playing hardcore history for a while here, dog. Yeah, we really have been. So now it's good.

We're going to get back into some fucking blood. guts before we get back to some super dark history because I do believe the next head on the Mount Rushmore of Evil is not too far away. It's really not. It's not too far away at all. Yeah. We're going to do a plan right now. Phoenix?

Phoenix? You said it's not too far away. Don't talk to him. Phoenix is just a couple hours down the room. This is why nobody cares. By the time I get to Phoenix, we'll have the next head on the Mount Rushmore of People. You know what's funny is that I didn't think of the city. I thought,

of the mediocre musician from the 2000s. Oh, why? That's not a band? That's a person? I think it's a person. I think it's just a guy. I refuse. See, my brain thought of the guy that was Orion there's nothing new with anything. Really? You know what I mean? The musician? Yeah.

Fake Elvis. Wow. Great documentary. Thank you very much for joining us today, ladies and gentlemen. We also have after our next zero killer, we've got a good weirdo, a good con man from old times who's going to be a fucking just strange journey and then yes the next head

on the Mount Rushmore of Evil so thank you very much Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left we got a swerve for the fourth head I'm really excited we got a good swerve for the fourth head came up with the durn break get very very excited about the swear for the fourth head Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left is if you want to go see our stream

every Tuesday last stream on the left that plays live on Patreon every Tuesday at 5 p.m. PST and of course on YouTube afterwards and check us out on the social media's at LP on the left just to know what we're up to and what we're doing. That's right. And this weekend, Henry and I are going to be in Northfolk, Norfolk, Norfolk, Virginia at the Addox Theater and Raleigh. Yeah, we're there tonight. Tonight in Norfolk and tomorrow in Raleigh.

And then the week after that, I'm in Milwaukee. And then we got all kinds of shit. Then I'm in Denver personally. Henry and I are in Brooklyn at the Warsaw, which I can't fucking wait for. Hartford, Connecticut. Henry and I are going to go to Connecticut. We're going to eat some goddamn pizza. Redway, California, San Francisco. That's going to be just me and Billy Wayne Davis and Holden McNeely.

And then we're going to be in Portland, Maine. Sold out. Portland, Maine loves us. We had an amazing show in Portland, Maine a few years ago. It's a really cool town. It's a really beautiful town. We're going to have fun. So if you can't get tickets to that, come see us in Southport.

Burlington, Vermont. That's on November 15th, Iowa City, Columbia, Missouri, and I got a whole bunch of more. Go to our website to find out where we're coming or go to edictunes.com. If you want to come see me, do stand up. All right, here's my announcement to pull money out of AI and put it into desalination plants. Yeah. Thank you. We're going to need it. We're going to need some desalinization plants. A good idea, because the danger isn't that AI is going to kill us. All the danger is that the AI data centers are going to cake up all of the world's water. We're going to die of dehydration and brain rot because we're all going to be too stupid to think of a solution. Just know that for a fact that Godlike AI in a box is not coming.

The only thing that is coming is more climate devastation and lining the pockets. A bunch of evil, very evil on the spectrum assholes from San Francisco. Yes, indeed. men who have come up with all of their ideas living in polycools and doing a lot of ketamine. Just remember a lot of the stuff you hear about AI comes from ketamine. Yeah. Like it is not even from people. It is coming from the power of the use of ketamine.

Yes. And remember that many of the firms that are warning about the dangers of AI are supported and funded by the very same AI companies that these companies are purporting to say that they are extraordinarily dangerous. Just look a little deeper. Look a little deeper. They're going to make a god in a box. They're going to call the god in a box and it's not going to be

that. They're just going to call it that and it's going to look like that. It's Project Bluebeam, but for fucking AI it's happening. I'd say just go read a book and don't let the data center into your community. You don't need it at all. Nope. We've lived an entire civilization without it. Go burn down your local data center.

Well, that's okay. Satire. That's satire. Satire. Don't do that. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do that. Get rid of the flock cameras at least. Yeah, you can cut down a bunch of flock cameras.

Yeah. It's also a part of it. Satire. Cal State and everyone.