Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 682: Clifford Olson Part I - The Uncle Game

Episode Date: September 25, 2026

The boys head on back to Canada for a new Heavy Hitter series covering the Beast of British Columbia, Clifford Olson. This week, peeling back the layers getting into Olson’s early years, from childhood scams growing up in a family of crooks to a string of increasingly ridiculous prison escapes, all leading up to the murder 11 children and teenagers in just the span of nine months. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot task. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. Finally, back in Canada. Oh, Canada. Where kids are killed every day. Really great.

I really didn't know those lyrics until just that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love this series because we're back. talking about Canadian police. Yep. And how they're just all over it. Oh, yeah, man. Canadian police.

They're just all fucking over it. They spent the little less time picking out crazy hats. Yeah. They have got it on long. Things are all right. Oh, man. If you guys thought that the Canadian police work in the Robert Pickedon series was, you know, dirty hairy level, top notch,

You're talking, like, this is Reacher level. This is Reacher. Yeah, Jack Reacher's on it. Old Jack Reacher. Oh, yeah. Welcome to the last podcast on the left. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the Canuck, Henry Zabrowski.

Yeah, what you're going to want to do there is that you're listening to your podcast, see, but what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to get a job. You're going to want to get out there, and you're going to want to marry the first girl. you meet. That's the key there. And we got Hozer number one, Ed Larson. That's right.

I'm here. I'm visiting from America. Because I don't do voice as well. You're loud. You're too loud. A. A. Perfect.

A. Nailed the national character of Canada. B. They don't like that word. B. That's not the one they use. And perhaps our coverage of Canada today will make up how truly abysmal the Wolverine game is.

You don't like it. I hate it. He's coming for it. Wow. Rob's bad too. He's coming for it. I hate it. It's the worst camera work

I've ever seen in a video game. Wow. It should have been released a year from now after they figured out how the camera works. Wow. Canada's going to be angry. The Omega Red... The Omega Red boss fight is already bad

and then you make me do it a second time. Fuck you. Oh, no. Is this actually the fault of the Japanese? Let's get into it. Yeah, yeah. Who's the real bastard? The Canadians are the Japanese.

God forsaken Japanese. Oh, fuck Wolverine. I'm playing titanium court. That game fucking rules. All right. I don't know what it means. I don't know either, Eddie, but let's support him. I've been getting really into solitaire.

It's on my phone. It's a video game. It's just you play it by yourself. You know who's super into solitaire? Clifford Olson. So for this brand new installment of our long-running heavy hitter anthology of serial killers, we're covering a bit of a hidden gym in the annals of true crime history. It is.

Today, we're covering the so-called Beast of British Columbia, Canada's own Clifford Olson. Over a period of just nine short months from the fall of 1980 until the summer in 1981, Clifford Olson raped and murdered eight teenage girls, two teenage boys, and a nine-year... No, no, no. He just garrotted them.

He just garotted them and left them. You don't want to know what he did with the maids of Milken. I cut their tints out of you. Nine-year-old boy. Oh, that was the file. And that's 11 murders overall. But Clifford Olson's story

is far more interesting than that of a simple predator. Olson was a true agent of chaos in every sense of the term. Considering how he conducted himself during both his murders and his extensive criminal career, he was almost on the level of a fictional character like The Joker. But there is another fictional character that could be used for comparison. Especially, when I was reading about Clifford Olson's childhood, I couldn't help but think that if Martin Short's classic and incredibly underrated character,

Clifford from the movie of the same name. If Clifford was a real boy in the real world, that little ball of chaos would be Clifford Olson. Can't you ever make a normal face? Just be a normal boy. Be a normal...

Huh. Huh. Huh. Probably one of the best movies ever made. And if you don't think so, you're wrong, you're incorrect. And if anybody out there, I make a plea... There's an R-rated cut. If someone can find and release the R-rated cut,

of Clifford. Oh my God. I don't know what I'll do. I'll pay for your I'll suck your dick. I'll pay for your parents' retirement home. When your parents have to go into a home, I'll pay for it.

Dude, you're going to have to fucking pony up. Someone's going to be like, this is my ticket. Dude, it's an R-rated Clifford cut. I would like to see it. How amazing is that? 50 grand. Do you think Mary Steenberg should get naked in it? That would be amazing.

No, but Charles Groton hangs. Hangs Dong. Oh, man, I would love to see Charles Groton that scene from spedders where that girl's just playing with his dick and balls. Nothing would make me respect him more. I'm sure it happened to him. Now, before Clifford Olson, that's our subject today, before he was exposed as a serial killer, he had gained some small measure of fame in Canada as a prison escape artist. This was back when he was just known for petty crimes like theft and fraud, before he was known as a murderer and rapist.

and he would spend much of his time in prison writing letters to government officials pleading early release. Because Clifford Olson was often in contact with government officials and because he escaped prison over and over again, Clifford Olson was sometimes better known as Senator Rabbit, which is far too adorable of a nickname for a man who murdered 10 teenagers and a little boy. It's too silly. This is another example of Canadian silliness that bakes its weight. into the judicial system. Calling, like, he was arrested several times for buggery.

Yeah. What is buggery? Buggery is Canadian rape. Yeah. It's a different cutter rape, like the bacon. Oh. I believe specifically buggery is sodomy. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. I think it's kind of out of me. I think it might be anal. No, I think it's just sodomy in general. Oh, yeah. Hmm. He was too selfish. He never got, uh, you know, they never got him for tuggery.

No, no, that's when he's, to reach it around. That's if you're pulling too hard on a improperly regulated towing device. Yeah, it's like being too much of a gentleman. Oh, that's a good murder fish name for you. Tuggery. Tuggery Johnson.

Tuggery, yeah. Tuggery on your bald reginal. Yeah, Tuggery, you, Janssen. I'm pretty certain that is the guy that arrested Clifford Olson. Tuggery Johnson. Tuggery Johnson. All right there, you got to watch yourself there, baby. I'm going to get John Pounson.

which is what they also call rape. Pouncing. Pouncing. Really? Really, you know, you can't make rape sound cuter. No, it's cute. It really is. Or giving her to the baby.

Oh, get her. Give it to her, huh? Yeah, yeah. When they do it with a, when it's a guy raping a guy, it's having a go, eh? Yeah, oh, you're having a go. He's having to go ahead. Oh, okay, break it up. Breaking her.

All right, everybody. You walk home that way, you walk home that way. All right, now you stop raping each other. Hey, hey, you're back to ramping each other. What do I got to say that? this again. Hey, hey, all right, if you keep doing it to him, I'm going to make him do it to you. Okay, then, why don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now smoke the whole pack. Now fuck me.

You're right. The entire Canadian justice system is like, you know, just dealing with fifth graders. Yeah. Now, Clifford Olson was not a conventionally intelligent man. As a kid, he rode the short bus to school, and due to a dyslexic condition that he refused to manage or improve, he often mixed. up words. For example, he routinely referred to anal sex as annual sex. What depends on how often you do it? The way I'm doing

it should be called daily sex. And he did that with all seriousness. But while Olson's conventional intelligence was low, he made up for it with extremely high social intelligence and an impeccable memory. He was also a

pure sociopath. I read that in the psychopath test, he scored some... It was like 38 out of 40. And this combination of natural talents made Clifford Olson a master at running scams and manipulating people. Clifford Olson was such a successful scammer that he infamously convinced the Canadian government. After he was caught as a serial killer, mind you, to pay him $10,000 each for the 11 locations where he dumped the bodies of his victims. This would become the infamous bodies for cash scandal.

Like some sort of fucking greasy salesman, Olson told the Royal Canadian Mounted Police that since he liked him, he'd give him all 11 body locations. Tell you what, give it to you for an even 100 grand. 11th bodies on me. And you've got to know if you give me a chance, I'll make a 12th. You can toss that on top. You can toss that right on there.

That's a baker's dozen. But in the American, it's only like 1,200 bucks. You're right. They're fucking monopoly money. It's like fucking tankers on them Games are so angry already I'm sorry we really enjoy you We love coming to Canada

We have a better place We know it That's why I make fun of you Exactly yeah You get to live a better life than we do So you get that you have to be made fun of I'm sorry But incredibly the RCMP

Actually paid Clifford Clifford Olson the fucking money That's how good he was at manipulation Or is that how bad the police Sure. Or lazy. It's all of it, buddy. I think that Canadian police officers are the laziest humans that have ever existed.

Well, Clifford's ability to scam and manipulate other people is even more remarkable due to the fact that Clifford Olson was a relatively grubby little man who spoke with an outrageously stereotypical Canadian accent. This is, of course, in addition to his voice, which, as Henry pointed out to me a couple days ago, sounds very much like a cartoon mouse. I can't even get up to the natural timber. Yeah. Because it's very

it is truly the exact voice you expect when you see the words goofy Canadian. Yeah. Right, like the words come back, oh yeah, bouch high, that's how all goals. I know how it is. Oh, I wish I could see the outside from in here. There's something

about it. We've covered... If you mix it with your high-pitched Italian, it might work. Yeah, but then I start the slide. Don't that to me now. See, this is the issue is that, I feel like in a big history of last podcast in the left, we're now really touching on several of the more important stereotypes within Canadian than we're seeing it through their criminals. Yeah.

So one, you got your Robert Picton, which we covered. Robert Picton is your stereotypical, dumb yet tough Canadian. There is the tough, the biker. The biker, rural, really, really tough, thinks he's a lot. smarter than he is, right? Thinks he's a criminal mastermind. An incredibly dangerous and will beat you within an inch of your life.

Yeah, dangerous guys. The Canadian bikers are real deal. Yes. That is, that's one side. Then we have the Paul Bernardos, which to me is the obsessed with America, a little bit like wanting to be up with the Joneses, the fact that he wouldn't to be a rapper and stuff, very

Toronto, very like city boy with all his fake shit, but still indelibly Canadian, which means a half step wrong. Frank is always kind of wrong about the choices he's making. He's the type of guy who thinks that if only I can make it to Los Angeles, like if I can get an apartment in Burbank, oh, I got it made. They're going to love me there.

Listen, my DJ names, DJ Avalanche. You know, like that style, right? But now we finally have come to Clifford Olson that, to me, represents, and I am not, there's no bones about it. I think Clifford Olson is one of the most dangerous men to have ever been born. Yeah. Because what he is is an evil. Goofy Canadian.

Yeah. Which is a powerful, powerful combo. Because I think a part of it is that the goofy Canadian cuts through so much Canadian horseshit that everybody just wants everything to be okay. Right? They all want things to be okay. They don't want to be a lot of drama. They want to get along with their fellow man.

This guy is always, he always reverts back to goofy Canadian. And they just simply believe in their hearts of hearts that anybody that's that goofy, he can't be doing it and that wrong now he's a good guy he's a good guy he's a funny guy yeah they respect the one thing Canadians respect more than anything else is the power to make them laugh yes

they fucking love that shit it means the world to them Clifford Olson cuts right to the part of it and I've been listening to that BBC podcast calls from a killer and I've just it sends chills up my spine yeah because he's talking to these

he's talking to a journalist and he's just so gleeful he's so happy talking about anything like oh yeah I know I know exactly what I was doing the entire time but I just didn't give a fact he literally says he's like oh I know I'm killing kids and stuff like that but I don't give a hook yeah I mean

I feel victim to it myself a little bit but I'm learning about this guy yeah occasionally I catch myself giggling and I'm like I kind of like this guy oh yeah and it's like oh wait stop yourself that's his that's his game and that's how strong his manipulation is is that he can reach you even through just reading about his stories. Like you could, and imagine being in the same room as him. Yeah. You know, and he could charm almost anybody.

It was, he's an incredibly, incredibly dangerous person. He's, well, he's a largely, I'd say he's the most dangerous Canadian criminal I've read about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because he's dangerous because he is, like, imagine the chaos of a Looney Tunes character. Imagine if Joe Perra was a serial killer. Right? If you found out that he killed people everywhere he went on for. That'd be great at it. Right?

Except for, you know, I think he, you know, he likes washing his hands too much. Yeah, sure, sure. But this is, but it's like, it's like a, like, it's the chaos of a Looney Tunes character, uh, set loose on the world. Like an actual, like if you let a cartoon character loose, uh, this is what would happen. And the far darker side of things. People like Clifford Olson who hold that master manipulator gene, they also have all the makings of a rapist. And Olson was a bisexual who routinely raped men, women, boys, and girls. This, of course, is where the culpability of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police comes into play.

Over the course of this series, we will show that the RCMP's repeated lack of action portrays Canadian law enforcement in the 20th century. I don't know how they are now, but back then, they were quite possibly the laziest working for the weekend, of cops in Western history. I just can't, the idea of how little work they did. Yeah. What's because there's no crime? Well, this is a fan, this is one of those things that makes my blood boil.

Yeah. The concept of, oh, you know, back in the day we didn't need to lock our doors, the kids, they walk back and forth. There is a literal like conservative, coded thing through all of that that allows the shit to fucking happen because it's just not happening to you.

If you look at this entire area, you kill every fucking indigenous person that was there to be there, right? And they were all going missing. Every day, women were going missing. And the indigenous children were going missing. So it's like, it was dangerous for them already. And it's not just indigenous children. It's like you say like there's no

crime, but I'm about to tell you about a lot of crime that happened in Canada. That's one guy! He had so many accomplices. He always had a buddy. You know, there was a lot of crime back then. There was

so much fucking crime back then. It just wasn't investigated. It wasn't prosecuted. And a lot of times it wasn't seen as crime. You know, like it was seen as something else. It was seen as their fault. You know, it was something to be blamed. Now, while Clifford Olson was reported for rape again and again throughout his life,

and this is to that point, that's not usually why he went to jail. Usually he got locked up for theft or fraud. But because the RCMP did not take the rape report seriously, especially the reports from the male victims, Clifford Olson gradually was allowed to escalate from rape to murder. It legitimately emboldened him. It did every time. It got sexier for him.

Yeah. Now, Clifford Olson discovered that murder was the best way to ensure a rape victim did not make a report. Because even though he didn't go to jail for rape that often, it was still a hassle. And because most of Olson's victims were either teenagers or young kids from poor or dysfunctional homes, the RCMP dismissed the disappearances of these victims as just a part of the runaway phenomenon of the 1960s and 1970s.

We also forget the child hooker. That's the thing you keep saying. It's like ah, well, she was just a hooker. And it's like she was 14 years old. Yes. This dismissal of missing kids as simple runaways enable dozens, if not hundreds of serial killers to rack up high body counts in

Canada and America during the mid 20th century. Everyone from Dean Coral to John Wayne Gasey took advantage of the gross indifference cop showed towards missing working class kids during those decades. And Clifford Olson was no exception. In fact, it's rumored that Clifford Olson may have

even dabbled in snuff films like it was rumored that John Wang Gacey and Dean Coral dabbled in snuff films, although that's pure speculation. Yeah. I don't think he'd be able to, like, get the camera work together. That's the only thing is I'm a producer. What I need here is I need a DP.

I need a guy to do catering. This is all a lot of pressure on me. Why do I have to be a multi-havenate? I don't want to move to Toronto. I don't need the media sphere. Oh, excuse me, Toronto.

Toronto. I want to move to Toronto. I want to stay in Vancouver. Now, after Clifford Olson began to get a taste for the act of murder itself, his killings evolved to reflect the chaos and cruelty that Olson applied to his everyday life as a selfish, unfeeling, petty criminal.

His chaotic, haphazard method of committing murders, ended up drawing those murders out for hellishly long periods of time. I can't remember the last time I read about murders that would last this long. And eventually, Olson got to the point where he was hammering nails into victims' heads while they were still alive. That, of course, is just a small preview of the depravity you can expect over the next few episodes. And it also tells you, again, it's fucking cartoonish.

Yeah. So we're like, well, I was just doing that to hang pictures from them. So it's got like a stow town vibe to it a little bit. A little bit. Yeah. Those were long-ass killings. But this is what, but this is a different, those were drawn, long and drawn out, like, on purpose. Yeah.

Like, Clifford Olsons were long and drawn out just because it was almost like an ADHD thing. Like, oh, okay, let me try this. Oh, let me try this. Oh, okay, that doesn't work. Yeah. The Snowton boys were literally torturing people over a long period of time. He was just too curious for his own good. You know what?

That's a good way to put it. Again, you can't help. It has to be, it's a little cute. It's like, oh, he's just so curious. I'm just a fun guy. I'm just a little kitty cat. But before we get into the story of how Clifford Olson got to the point of hammering nails into the skulls of living humans, let's acknowledge our source for today.

For this one, we used a classic true crime paperback called Predator. by Peter Worthington, which was based on court records and extensive interviews conducted with Olson himself. But since some of this information comes from a master manipulator, you can take some of these stories with a grain of salt. But interestingly, Clifford Olson was one of those rare serial killers. He really wasn't all that interested in justifying his actions. In his extremely Canadian words, he really didn't give a fact about anything. Wow. He doesn't care.

He really did not care. He wants to talk about it. He doesn't care. He thinks it's fun. Yeah. Additionally, quite a bit of his story is backed up by either evidence or testimonies from the people who are unlucky enough to have Clifford Olson in their lives. So this story is actually pretty fucking thick with detail. It is a fascinating tale of a pure sociopath.

So without further ado, let's explore the story of Clifford Olson, aka the beast of British Columbia. It's like... So Clifford Olson was born New Year's Day in Vancouver, BC, in the year 1940. Going back to the industrial pollution theory of zero-killer proliferation we covered in our Gary Ridgeway series, Olson was born near the Tech Kaminko smelter outside of Vancouver, which has the dubious distinction of being the largest lead zinc smelter in the world. No way! Which really nice is that then his placenta could have kept him safe from an x-ray machine.

Vancouver, of course, was one of Canada's zero-killing hot spots in the 20th century. In addition to Clifford Olson, it was also the home of the aforementioned Robert Picton, who picked up and killed over 50 sex workers from the East Hastings area of the city in the 1990s. The dead bodies were fed to the animals on Picton's pig farm, and the meat that came from the pigs raised on human flesh was sold to unsuspecting customers. It bears repeating, I know we've said this 100 times, but this is incredible. It is speculated that Picton's meat, contaminated by brain-destroying preons

might be responsible for cursing Michael J. Fox with Parkinson's disease. God! Took a go back to the future four away from us. Now, as opposed to his fellow Pacific Northwesterner Gary Ridgeway, Clifford Olson was not abused by his parents during childhood aside from a heavy

helping of neglect. In fact, Clifford could have benefited from a heavier hand in the parenting arena, but Clifford Olson was one of those rare kids who was actually born smarter than his parents. His parents were fucking adults. His father, Clifford Sr., was a soldier in the Canadian Army

with limited talents in ambition. He didn't care for children and mostly ignored his son, but after World War II, Clifford Sr. worked as a milkman, driving an actual horse-drawn milk wagon. Wow. And Clifford would sometimes write along on these milk deliveries. Fun! It's here that Clifford learned, at a very early age,

how to spot opportunities, and how to take it. advantage of any situation, no matter where he was or what he was doing from birth, almost. The only thing on Clifford's mind was crime. That's fun. For example, while on these milk runs, the preschool Clifford began by stealing change from his father. The young criminal then figured out how to steal money from the houses where the milk was being delivered. But he finally discovered that the biggest score was the other milk wagons full of cash that

the other milkman would leave unattended at the end of a long workday. This is all when Clifford was still a very young boy. He's like four or five. And this was a pattern he would follow throughout his life. When Clifford found an opportunity, he would push it as far as he could until he got caught. And if he never got caught, he'd just keep pushing it. This, unfortunately, would one day apply to the escalating cruelty in his murders. Well, he's straight upset.

It's not a crime unless you get caught. Yeah. And he, it's very interesting to see somebody that kind of thinks like this from the very, very get. Yeah. And that nobody, like, I don't know if just like his father, like, obviously this is controversial. I don't know if his father just like whaling on him would have like made him better. No. I don't know if it would have.

It would have done nothing. But he obviously has this kind of this, I would say, almost like an ability to just not care. Mm-hmm. And if you've let the money out, it's kind of on you. Yeah. you, quote, unquote, left your money out. And he blames everybody else. Oh, of course.

Yeah, you should have done that. Yeah, like, what you expect? You should have left it out for me to take. Mm-hmm. Live from your claim. Now, while Clifford was not abused by his parents, he was unfortunately the victim of a creepy uncle. Yeah.

Clifford said that his earliest memory involved his 15-year-old uncle and a cousin who all played together when Clifford was just four. So the uncle told Clifford and his cousin that he had a brand new uncle game to play. There's so many uncle games. Uncle games are tough. That's a thing. For the sake of just keeping it today, we're just going to refer to this as the uncle game. Yes, we get it.

Because sometimes an Uncle game just involves you doing like reverse 69s. It's a lot of stuff on an Uncle game. Yeah, don't play Uncle Games. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't play Uncle Game because it's either sex or just gambling. So either way, you know, it's not going to happen. Or Barry and a Hooker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, that's an Uncle Task. Thank you. Yeah, an Uncle chore. Actually, I kind of now want to, I want to write this. screenplay just called the uncle game. No, I don't want to. Maybe it's directed by Paul there. Very well, but yeah, it's kind of took place to call it.

Now, the kids were, of course, eager to play the uncle game. So the uncle had the kids take off their clothes and lay naked on top of the uncle's body. What's the game? Well, the game was for the kids to not tell anybody about it. Oh. Yeah, and you win the game by keeping your mouth shut. And if you win, you get a shiny nickel. Oh.

Yeah. I mean a nickel. You can't have in the Eagles? Oh, yeah, you're right. Like many kids who were abused in this way, Clifford would later play the uncle game with young kids when he got to be a teenager. That's not fair.

He would, however. What do you mean? That's not an uncle. He doesn't get to play Uncle games without the actual title. And I also think if you're a 15-year-old uncle, there should be a new term for it. I think if you're below 18, and yes, you are an uncle, there should be another childlike uncle term for that.

Because uncle, to me, is a man that drinks and drives. You just call baby uncle. You're right. Baby uncle's great. I was an uncle when I was 15. Yeah, you were a baby uncle. Yeah, but then by the time... An uncleette.

But by the time my nephew, Kellyn, was old enough to call me Uncle Marcus, I was 18, so it was okay. There is a... Yes, that would have been fine. Yeah. Well, Clifford would maintain that his own experience playing the uncle game had no effect on him all at all. Because in his words, quote, There was no penetration. You know, that's the whole thing, is that that's more of a father's game.

You know, if it happened to me, I'd probably say the same thing. Of course. Yeah, I'd be like, I was fine. We were just stacking. Yeah, yeah. It was more uncle stacking. That's all it was. Could have been worse.

Doesn't mean you weren't abused. Yeah. Clifford Olson specifically does not look inward. No. He does not look inward at all. There is no, there is no inner Clifford Olson. No, you're absolutely right. He is an entirely external person.

Yeah. Now, Clifford Olson was one of those people who were born with a natural talent for manipulation. Clifford was so clever that even as a child, he dominated and controlled his entire household, and everything was all to achieve his personal goals of self-gratification. Carmelita? That's what it sounds like. Carmelita. See, while Clifford did have the cartoon.

mouse voice, he had an engaging smile, he laughed easily, he was relatively handsome in a 1970 sort of way, and he was impossibly cheerful. As such, he was a master at charming his way out of trouble by displaying an angelic face

that had just a touch of irresistible mischief. Will you hold my dinosaur? Stefan! This mischief, however, was encouraged by his family because the low-lifes who raised pleased him, laughed with joy

and approval anytime Clifford did something that was clever, but ultimately dishonest. For example, when Clifford was five years old in the year in 1945, his mother and uncles were hanging out drinking beer when they found themselves running low on sud. So, what do

you do? You tell the kid, go find more beer. They told Clifford, hey, go get the beer, and if you bring us back a beer, we'll give you a dollar. So, Clifford immediately devised a plan to scam the adults. He gathered up a bunch of empty bottles and bottle caps,

filled the bottles with water, and hammered the caps back on. Then delivered the beer bottles full of water and said, give me a dollar. That is amazing. That's amazing. But like, did they also give him money for the beer? Yeah. So he probably got two times money.

Well, no, it wasn't that they gave him money to go buy beer. It's like, go look around the house and see if there's any beer. Oh, I forgot it's Canada. It's Canada. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just beer laying around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He could just break into somebody's hut, I guess,

and then just steal their beer from their beer shed or whatever. They don't know how it works. Now, the adults, of course, discovered Clifford's little ruse immediately, but instead of calling out his dishonesty, they burst into laughter, praised his ingenuity. You're the funniest little fucker. Oh, my God, you're so smart. Oh, man, I couldn't think up a scam like that.

You're the funniest little fucker in the world. gave him his dollar. Clifford later said that this incident became cemented in his mind. He'd not only avoided trouble for trying a scam, he'd also gotten praise from adults for cheating, and he'd gotten paid. Yep.

I mean, it's so hard when a kid does something wrong, and it's hilarious. Well, that's the thing. Well, yeah, but that's different when it's actually funny when it's like a scam. You're like, oh, this is kind of funny. This is pretty complicated, though. It's super funny. I would have been elated by this, to be honest.

with you. I would too. But the thing is you say like, yeah, that's really funny, but no, you don't get your dollar. You tried to scam us. You don't, you don't get rewarded for trying to scam people. Yeah, but you are. I will laugh. It's funny. It's clever, but yeah, yeah. No. That's gangster behavior.

Exactly. Now, even though Clifford was smarter than both of his parents, his mother, Leona Olson, was certainly an influence in the manipulation department. She was a passive, subdued woman who worked as a meat packer. And she was... Yes, she did. She was brilliant at finding a path to manipulating people and to giving her what she wanted.

Mom? But since Clifford was smarter than his mother, Leona, she found that the easiest way to deal with him was to just give him whatever he wanted. Or failing that, she could bribe him into being good. Clifford, therefore, became such a mama's boy that when he grew up, it's believed that he actually talked to his mother in great detail. about the murders he committed. But by that point, Leona Olson was so intimidated and terrified of her son

that she simply listened and did nothing to alert the authorities to her son's heinous crimes. At the very least, he may not, like we don't know for sure if he went in a full detail,

but it's thought he probably did. At the very least, she did have enough information to go to cops and say, like, you need to lock this guy up. Mom don't do that. No, I'm sorry.

You know, it's hard because my mom would lie to the police for me. But I told her she should. Really? I told her she should. Really? Yeah, but she would. She can't wait. My mom would have went down for me. That's for damn sure. No, that would have been the only... Because then, guess what she could do? Guilt you from jail for the rest of your life.

Then have total control of your life from jail. Like she's fucking kingpin. No, your mom would go down for like one of your acquaintances that she met once. Yeah. She just wanted to go to jail like that. I think she just loved a lie to police. That's, you know, that comes from growing up in Elizabeth, New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, by the age of five years old, Clifford Olson already had a reputation in his neighborhood as a habitual criminal. But as it used to go back in those days, Clifford was both a nuisance and a local legend. Canadians love their mischievous boys. God, they do. See, Clifford Olson quickly figured out that crime could be converted into popularity if you knew where and how to spread the money. For example, when he was just five years old, he stole $200 Canadian from his uncle's wallet, then used that money. to buy all the local kids ice cream at the local soda fountain. He's the mayor of kids.

200 bucks at 1945, too. Holy shit. Taking it out of my wallet, I would have beat him to fucking death. He's lucky he's alive. He's dead now, but... Clifford then led the parade of happy children to the barbershop, and this is such a five-year-old thing.

Come go watch me have a haircut. Yeah, this is like a plot line from the little rassas. It is, yeah. But when the barber noticed the fat wad of cats, in the five-year-old's pocket, he called the cops. What are you doing? Fairly got the soda fountain and didn't give a shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was like, yeah, yeah, he'll take your fucking money. He was like that. Wow, this is the richest kid in the world. Wow, what are you from? Where are you from, little child? My God, are you from Edmonton? That's the big city. But Clifford was busted, but the only thing he learned from this experience,

never flash a cash. Because if flashed cash, people are going to know you've done something wrong. They start asking questions. Yeah, you learn lessons when you're growing up. Yeah, this is an important listen for you guys to even know as listeners. Don't flash your cash around. Yeah, keep it around, right? Because people are going to fucking look for marks.

Look for marks every day. Now, considering how we're talking about Clifford on this show, his childhood criminal past was not limited to petty theft. Clifford was an inherently violent child who was particularly cruel with the smaller and weaker kids. He liked threatening other kids with knives, but always knew how to use his puppy dog eyes to disenfell. armed adults and deny everything when he was confronted with childhood knife crimes. But because he could talk his way out of trouble, Clifford soon learned that he could

force girls into the bushes with his trusty knife where he'd touch them and make them undress. And this wasn't just with strangers either. He routinely did it with both his sister and her friends. Clifford's childhood violence even bordered on murder at times. Once, Clifford found an abandoned wood stove. So he was a... he locked a small child inside and lit a fire just to see what would happen. The child, thankfully, was saved from being burnt to death only because some nearby adults heard him screaming for help. Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to watch the hockey game. What's happening out here? Oh, you're just playing Hansel and Gretel. That's normal game for kids to play. Because it does feel like they all saw him do stuff and they're going to. They were all like, Hugh Clifford, you better watch yourself.

You're going to hurt yourself one day. You're going to really get yourself into some trouble this day when you held a little girl at knife point and make her undress and touch her body. You might get in trouble someday for that. You do that two more times. We're going to take your knife. We're going to take the knife.

We're going to take the knife. You do that two more times. I'm going to do. I'm going to put two black-down eyeglasses on you so you can't see what you're looking at. Yeah. And then let's see you try to do it with a first. fork. Let's see you try and do it with a fork.

Now smoke the whole pack. I love coming back to just smoking the whole pack. While violence was obviously a part of Clifford Olson's childhood, he focused on petty crime for decades before finally graduating to murder. For Clifford, crime was just about immediately gratifying whatever desire he had, and it never mattered who the victim was or how vulnerable they might be. No conscience. I've never seen a lot of. I've never seen a lack of conscience to someone like this. It's a Ted Bundy level. That's kind of how I put him.

One of Clifford's favorite childhood targets, for example, was a local blind street vendor. Clifford would offer to help out the blind man with this and that, but Clifford's ultimate goal with this was to switch out the blind vendors' higher denomination bills with single dollars. Clifford was also incredibly brazen with his scams. Sometimes he would steal fruit from the trees in a person's backyard, then go around to the front door, knock, and try to sell their own fruit back to them at a heavily discounted price. You got to do it to the neighbor. At least he picked the fruit.

I mean, that's kind of the hardest part there. But I will say about, like, switching out the bills for the blind man, that is a really brave thing to do because a blind man has a stick. Yeah. We can beat the fuck out of you. I see, I saw a daredevil. Clifford's got a knife. Yeah, that is true.

The blind man can't tell. Blind man don't know. Yeah, but also he's a little boy sticks longer than the knife. That steak, whet, whep, whep, whip, whip, whip, he could. The thing about Cliff... The thing about Cliff... We have to be wearing a bell or something. That's easy.

But the thing about Clifford Olson was that he always shared his ill-gotten gains with his friends because he had learned at the age of five with the aforementioned ice cream caper just how useful sharing the wealth could be when it came to manipulating other people. That's a Peter Thiel lesson

that he understood as a little boy. Yep. See, like a lot of successful social sociopaths and narcissists, Clifford Olson knew that being liked was key if he wanted to keep getting away with bad shit. And the easiest and fastest way to get someone to like you is to be extremely generous with your money. Clifford therefore learned at an early age that you can buy friendship and loyalty and he strengthened those friendships by being likable. But to that point, see, if I've learned anything, it's that people like Clifford Olson are very good at convincing

people that ride or die is a noble concept, when they're in fact just using that loyalty as a shield to keep doing bad shit without consequence, or at least that's their hope. Unfortunately, Clifford Olson learned this technique at an early age as these people often do. He took advantage of people's loyalty and friendship throughout his entire fucking life, but he got away with it for so long because he was a master at presenting himself as a likable and generous person. And he also had the other inner gift of this type of manipulative person is that he understood to take the conflict

level up to an uncomfortable place. Yes. Where even if you go to challenge this person, what they would say is he transform into another person. In a second. In a second. You would go from the guy you knew to a dangerous person. It scares the

shit out of you. Yes. It's a true gangster move. Yep. Yeah. Now by his teenage years during the early 1950s, Clifford Olson had his own little gang of Canadian hoodlums. These kids would burglarize homes by crawling through old-timey milk doors at night while people were sleeping so they could rifle through their belongings. Are they Norwegian characters out of a folk town?

That doesn't sound like. Someone stole the cheese. It sounds like the Icelandic characters, the Yule boys, the Yol Lads. You didn't leave an acorn out for the Higel, for the Hygidstichen. Day, are you to take all our fresh newly born cheese? Oh, and go check out the Reykivik Grapevine sometime. We got a new website. That's great.

You got to be nudis in there. We don't, no, we don't have newties. You don't do a page six girl. No, we don't do a page six girl with the Reykivik grapevine. I'm part of, quite proud of it, and the paper's fucking fantastic right now. Rakeivitgraveind.com. Check it out. You have such a collection of old pornography.

You can just start slipping it in there. Yeah, but. Next time I talk to Yontheon on the call, I'll fucking ask him about. Yeah, like, where's the porn in this? But that's what Clifford did for money. Mostly, he just fucking cost chaos. He'd shoot his 22 rifle at airplanes or boats for no reason. That's fun as hell.

This one's incredible. He would steal weather balloons, tie fireworks or flares to them, light the fucking fuse, and then just send it up in the air. And he's just creating these flying fire starters. It sounds Florida. Yeah, it does. Yeah. But as far as professions,

went, Clifford often got jobs at places where shady shit was already going down, like his job at the local horse track. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. If you're fucking 12 years old, getting hired at the horse track. That's incredible. It's so much fun. I've been seeing a little too many parallels of my own life. I just spent a lot of time at the horse track as a child.

But you also have a, you have a conscious and it traumatized you. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. You're right. And I spent a lot of time at the horse track, too. Ria Dosa Downs, but because my grandfather was a security guard at the race track. He'd always wear a fake mustache. I was one of the few, like, tiny children that they let place bets.

My grandfather owned 10 horses. And they were just like, oh, that's Herbs kid. If we don't take the bed, he'll yell at us. I want to put five dollars on a rumperty-rumper. Whatever you want. You must be of age. How big are you? How fat are you, little boy?

I want five dollars on hot dogs, little princess. All right, huge boy. Don't destroy the boot. That man looks like a child. Let me throw meat in it. Well, Clifford's paying job at the track was to walk the horses after races to cool them down. This job's known as a hot walker. This, however, was just a front for the scams and thefts that made Clifford the real money.

And keep in mind, we're talking about a 12-year-old boy here. Clifford often stole wallets from the racetrack grooms. Those are the guys who took care of the horses. But his biggest marks were the gamblers. During the inevitable celebration after a race was over, Clifford became a master at stealing winning tickets from people right out of their hands, then he would disappear into the chaos of the crowd. It's like a Charlie Chaplin movie.

Yeah. It really is kind of a good move. It's a great move. It's an amazing move That's the thing That's why the whole time You're like God damn it

He's really good at it He knows what he's doing My time at the track I would brush the horses And they'd buy me ice cream Oh that's nice Yeah the horses Would go up

And they'd be like All right another one for the horse Another butter scotch Hello kid I don't like it That's right Yeah Call the Feliz And so

by 1956, Clifford had decided that his would be a life of crime, because after flunking out of the seventh grade twice, he quit school completely. Starting at the age of 16, Clifford Olson lived a life based solely on scamming

and stealing, and he did so on a near daily basis. Yeah, you've always got to have a second skill. Yeah. Yeah. Now, right around the time Clifford quit school, he had sex for the first time, and the act unlocked the true evil that lived within Clifford Olson.

It was said that after having sex with his sister's friend, he became, quote-unquote, sex crazy. And every person who knew him back then said that was the only thing Clifford ever wanted to do from that point forward. I mean, yeah, when we're all 16, yeah, we're all obsessed with sex, but it was pathological to a dangerous level. Yeah.

Clifford also learned early on that he could pressure people into having sex with him. Once, he caught a bunch of kids sneak it around the racetrack. He chased all the kids off except for one young girl. That young girl, Clifford pressured into having sex with him at the track. But the racetrack life ended after Clifford's boss caught him forging a $400 check. But presumably because the boss just liked Clifford so darn much, no charges were filed. Clifford didn't even get in trouble when he and his friend Dave stole a truck from the racetrack, then used that truck to steal a shitload of wine. Well, you got to leave one case of wine in the truck and no one cares.

Yeah. Work it. Another good criminal fucking tip. Honestly, I think partially it's just a, or like, you're kids having whatever. Oh, you know, everybody steals a truck and steals a bunch of wine. That's what you do. You're a kid. Honestly, especially back then.

especially in the 50s and 60s. I guess. I don't think every child burgled. No, only the cool ones. Yeah. That's true. That's a problem. It took a surprisingly long time for Clifford Olson

to actually run afoul of the law itself. In 1957, Clifford was 17. He was finally caught breaking into a furniture store by an off-duty cop. I'm trying to look at the Ottoman. I need him for my empire. That's true. Clifford ran and hid in a blackberry bramble. Rabbit.

But he was sniffed out by a neighbor's dog. The rabbit! Who barked and alerted the RCMP officer searching for Olson. Once all the charges were added up, Olson had 17 counts and was therefore sentenced to nine months in the New Haven Borstal Institution. This would be just the first of many, many stretches in prison throughout Clifford Olson's life,

although this stretch would have a decidedly, British Flair. He liked prison, by the way. I think he liked everything. Yeah, he just had fun. He didn't care. He liked everything. He was always happy. He's quite possibly the happiest person ever exists. He talks about prison as a way for him to not have to work. Yeah. Also, I got to say, I never heard the word Borsetle before, but it scares the shit out of me. You got to be careful. The doctor says anything about a Borsstall test? Yeah. You got it. Okay. All of it. I'll remember. Well, this institution used the Borstal system, which was created in England as a way to write the path of juvenile delinquents before they landed in adult prison. Basically, it's a boarding school crossed with a prison.

For all you punk fans out there, Sham 69 wrote a classic punk song about doing time in a Borstal institution called Borstal Breakout. But part of the reason why Sham 69 wrote Borstal Breakout is because it was extremely easy to break out of a Borstal institution. Clifford, for example, lasted just four months in a Borstal institution before he and a couple of other delinquents just walked away from the facility and found their way to civilization by following the nearby train tracks. Eventually, Clifford and his friends came upon a speedboat on the Fraser River, but since none of them knew anything about boats, they tried hot wiring it like a car, because they knew how to steal a car.

But what they ended up doing is they tried to spray in primer, like onto the engine, caught the engine on fire. So they all took off their shirts, and they put out the blaze with their shirts. But then the speedboat was running. So they took the motorboat all the way down the river to Vancouver until the motor died. The boys abandoned the boat, and Clifford simply went home. But for reasons that are unclear, his father convinced Clifford to turn himself in. So Clifford was sent back to prison for an additional two years.

His escape and re-arrest, however, was a damn good story. So it was covered by the press in the Vancouver. son. This was the start of Clifford status as a criminal celebrity known for prison breaks, and it was all before Clifford was even 18 years old. I actually think that his infamy is a part of the reason why he felt the need to diversify. Why he became the serial killer that he did. Sure. You mean like so he could be known for more things? Keep up in it.

Yeah, yeah. Now, by 1959, Clifford was still in prison, and it was there that he discovered that he was bisexual. Now, a lot of gay serial killers over the years, like John Wayne Gacy, tried saying they were bisexual, because while they couldn't deny they had sex with men, there was no way that John Wayne Gacy could deny that. He still just couldn't admit that he was gay for one reason or another. Well, that was also the line he used to his wife. That was his line. That was the line he used to his buddies.

That was a line he used to get guys to fuck him. Was by saying like, oh, you know, we fuck whoever, right? We do whatever. Yeah, yeah. And so, but the bisexuality. thing allows because John Wayne Gacy was so obsessed with his masculinity that allows him to like, no, no, I'm taking it on. I'm taking that this is the thing I choose. Yeah, he would say like there's animal sex and there's love sex and with men it's animal sex. It don't matter. But the thing is, Gacy was fucking gay. He's totally gay. He's totally gay. Yeah, it's in the name. But I do believe that Clifford Olson was truly bisexual and here's why. Why I see it, based on everything we know about serial killers,

Anyone can do a bit of a true crime sexuality test, and you can apply it to serial killers or even yourself. Sure. Are you ready? I'll do it. All right. Put aside your morality for just a second. Ah, fuck. Okay.

Shut it off. Imagine what it's like. Turn it off completely. Morality gone. We're in a purely intellectual exercise here. Now ask yourself, what gender a person would you murder if you were to become a serial killer? Eddie. See, I go for job.

more than gender. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, I get it. Well, but your answer, I believe, is priests. We'll tell you quite a bit about your sexual orientation. I could kill a nun. Okay. But depends on the nuns. Some of them are nice. When?

There was two nuns out of the ten that were out by school that were fine. Oh. But I'm just saying without morality. Sure. I have morality. I don't want to kill. Put your morality aside. But I would kill a bunch of nuns. My point here.

is that with serial killers, with serial killing, it is attached so much to sex. And serial killers kill people that they are attracted to. Gacy, for example, only killed men. So it's pretty safe to say that Gacy was gay. Ted Bundy only killed women. Very rarely, very rarely, do serial killers change up victim type. Yeah, and that's the thing. Clifford Olson killed and raped both genders with a slight preference for women.

So we can surmise that Olson was that rarest of serial killers, the bisexual. Or it's the idea that what she kept saying, which is like, it's sort of like bisexual. Like, there's something else that is probably just psychopath when you just look at people as a collection of holes. Well, that's what I was just about to get into. Were there any other killers that killed both? Who else killed both? Maybe, I guess, technically, the Atlanta child murderers, there's a little bit. That's kids.

I feel like that's different. No, kids are totally, that's a totally different thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you trying to see who did it? Interesting, you can't even, we can't even think of it. Yeah, it's very, like, it really does, like, and that's kind of my entire point. Andre Chiquatillo, he, he would go back. He was an age in a chaos.

He would go back a port between kids, like literally children, but again, that was about opportunity and power. Same thing with the hammer maniacs? They were just whoever was around. I would say, but that's the thing that's more about, like, thrill killing. Albert Fish, technically, boys and girls. But that's kids.

That's kids. It's against kids. That's the thing. It's kids. It's kids. So there's three. Yeah. Four.

With bisexual. Yeah. Because that's the thing. It is about, you know, sexual preference. It's about, like, what they're attracted to. All those guys like Albert Fish, they kill kids because they're attracted to kids. And Richard Omerer's killed couples. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Zodiac kills. Coubles as well. Yeah.

And that's a whole different thing. But when we're talking about, sexually motivated crimes. Yeah. It's whoever they kill, that's who they are, that's where their orientation lies. That's who they like. It's very interesting. I never thought of it that way.

Well, that's great. No, I'm glad I could open your mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my tushy. You're going to fuck him? Are you going to fuck him? Not yet. Not yet.

Not yet. Now, as far as how Clifford Olson was awakened to his sexual nature, it was quite unfortunately through rape. He said that while he was in prison, he walked in, on two young men raping a 16-year-old named Lauren Johnson. And Clifford's immediate reaction was to... That's a great idea! Oh, that's the best idea I've ever seen!

Yeah, his immediate reaction was to join in. Clifford Olson's personal views on his sexuality were predictably reprehensible. It's kind of like what you were pointing at earlier. He never considered himself gay, by, or even straight. He said that he didn't care who he had sex with as long as they had a whole, and they were, quote, as young as possible. FBI profiler, John Douglas, was actually of the opinion that Clifford didn't even see his sexual partners as actual humans. He just saw them in their so-called holes as a means to masturbate.

It's like my character from Percival, from Murderfest. Oh, yeah. Having sex of the woman is just like masturbating with herself. That's right. That's for cranking out more men. For cranking out more men. I remember the jokes. Less funny now, though.

Yeah. But concerning Lauren Johnson, Clifford's first male rape victim, Olson did somehow become good friends with Lauren afterwards, or at least as good of friends as two guys could be, after this sort of introduction. That was crazy, huh? Hey, that got out of hand. Hey, Lord, tell him the story of how we met.

Tell him the story of how we met. This is crazy. I was getting tag team raped by tumor versus. And this guy just july. jumped in on my mouth. I just came in. I just came in. And, you know, we ended up having, during the downtime, we had a lot in common.

Yeah. Yeah. He groomsmen at my wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it tells you anything, Clifford and Lauren would later meet up on the outside and go on crime sprees together. According to Clifford, the two of them shared a bond. Because after the rape, Clifford said that he and Lauren got prison married, in front of of all the other prisoners in the prison auditorium,

and they even exchanged rings made from copper pipe. That's beautiful. I mean, I asked our researcher, Joel, I asked Joel's like, dude, could you like try to find any other example of this ever happening in the history of man? He found no evidence of this happening whatsoever. So this could just be, in Joel's words,

a Clifford Olson original. Wow. You know who reminds me of? Richard Speck. Oh, yeah. A little bit just because Richard Speck got put those tits in. If they knew how much fun I was having, they'd turn me loose. But that is also, this is manipulation tactics. Yeah. Right? Like, this is all, he doesn't care about Lauren.

No. This was about having a set bitch in prison, like literally, not getting fucked with by anybody else. And you got a guy that wants to do crime with you after the fact. He's just fucking bringing him in. It's very practical. And not just that. Like, he's providing entertainment for the rest of the prisoners that makes them like him even more.

They never get to go to weddings. You know how hard that is? Never get to go. You never get to spend a bunch of money and stay in a city you don't want to be in. You never have to spend a much money on a gift and fucking go to a stupid-ass wedding. We're going to meet all these fucking people. Well, now you do. Well, yeah, he does.

Yes, in prison. Yeah. But in prison, it's right there. You don't get to travel. And like a true bisexual. the only guy named Lauren. Whoa! While discovering his sexuality

was indeed a milestone, Clifford Olson mostly spent his time in prison learning how to be a better criminal by picking up tips and tricks on more efficient ways to lie, cheat, and steal. But according to official records, Olson was considered to be more of a nuisance than a menace.

This is just Canadian shit all together, man. Yeah. Nah, he's not really a menace. He's more of a nuisance. It's like a series of crimes ever escalating, but it's just kind of annoying. Parole granted. Get out of here. He's annoying me. You get

out there and do crimes on the street. I'm sick of you doing crimes inside this prison where it only happens to other criminals. You go out there and do it to a family, please. We have a nice, clean prison if we got you out of here. This is a nice prison filled with guys that consensually fuck each other.

Well, the assessment of Clifford Olson being more of a nuisance than a that was, of course, incorrect. While Olson often presented as friendly, his personality could quickly change to aggressive and frightening, then just as quickly change back. The worst was when he switched to the part of his personality driven solely by sexual desire, because that part was strongly tied to an urge to physically hurt other human beings. See, the way people described it, even putting aside Olson's violent tendencies, he subjected people to a sort of emotional

whiplash kept everybody constantly off balance. Olson learned that if he flattered people, then they would quickly trust him. And even if he ended up crossing, hurting, or using them, he could easily get them to trust him again, using more flattery and more importantly, more generosity. Just a couple hundred bucks, couple thousand bucks go a long way to smoothen over any bad shit that he did. Buying drinks for people, buying dinner for people, by hanging out, paying for the whole thing. Like, do it all this kind of big high roller shit.

Yeah, and what does he give a fuck? He just stole the money that afternoon. Yeah, it's not his money. No, he very, it works. In the end, the thing that defined Clifford Olson was that he never regretted his actions, ever. He only regretted getting caught. Because the way Clifford thought about it, if he didn't get caught,

he hadn't actually done anything wrong. Live from your grave. After being released from prison, yet again in 1961, Olson proved that he truly had no scruples when it came to who was an acceptable criminal target. See, after he moved back in with his parents, Clifford went along with his dad to the Canadian Legion Hall one night, and while Clifford's dad and the other vets traded war stories, Clifford somehow, I don't know how he pulled it off, he stole all their watches. Close up magic, never trust them. Clifford's father, that's Cliff Sr., he discovered the watch thefts, and he discovered the watch thefts, and he, he,

appeared to be outraged. But since the whole Olson family were fucking dirt bags, Cliff Sr. fucked over his son instead of turning him in. After finding out where Clifford had stashed these stolen watches,

Cliff Sr. just sold the watches and kept all the money for himself. And I'll tell you another thing, Buster. All right? You won't be stealing nothing ever again. Now you're going to smoke that whole pack. And finally, you're going to smoke the whole thing up to shop. And then you're going to drink the whole bottle

after that. Let's see how you feel. You're going to drink this whole bottle of whiskey. And you're going to take those watches and you're going to tell all the time. You're going to take my keys and you're going to drive down to VFW and say I'm sorry. But honestly, would they all take their watches off together and put them in the bag? That's what I mean. I don't know how he managed to steal all their watches.

If we all take our watches off, we won't know when to go home. Listen, this is a no watch party. This is a no watch party, no alarms, no stopwatches. No seconds, no minutes, only hours, which is our time to spend together. Those guys are still drinking there to this day. They are. Now, you fucking, we're going to do our daisy chain like we do every week. Maybe in a Canadian Legion Hall, it's like in Vegas, like there's no clocks in the casinos.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If we don't know what time it is, then old Barbara can't get mad at it means for not coming home. That's called, that's information I didn't have. No, I've never seen. seen Cliff Sr.'s prison record. So this next part, this is a bit of speculation. But from what it seems like, Clifford Olson's parents, they may have started doing cons and scams later in life because they saw how much money Clifford made being on the wrong side of the law. As I said, Clifford dominated his family. So it's possible they just followed his lead.

He's jealous of him. Yeah. For example, a few months after the watch heist, Cliff Sr. was arrested for running a bingo scam with Clifford's mother at the very same Canadian Legion Hall where Clifford had stolen the watches. God damn Olsons. God forsaken Olsons! Now, a bingo scam that sounds like small potatoes.

But these bingo games were fucking huge. Oh yeah, no. Bingo is not small potatoes. There's lots of money in bingo. My mom would play bingo every Sunday and occasionally she'd come home with like a grand. Yeah. No, 3,000 people would show up to all to these games. $10,000 jackpot. And that's $10,000 in 1961.

So Cliff Sr. talked his way into being the bingo collar, which put him in control of the bingo balls. Scam work like this. Cliff Sr. would memorize a bingo card, then hand that card to his wife. The wife would then hand the card to a supposedly trusted relative. Apparently, photographic memories kind of ran in this family. They did all have...

I mean, if you're a scam artist, a successful con artist, you have to have an incredible memory. Because you got to keep all the lie straight. I know, but at least it's just like, that shows it's like Canadian criminal mastery. Oh, God, you would never be able to memorize a bingo card. And that's how I was making my money. Yeah, I guess, yeah, after a while. But I would never be able to do that.

That's why you were not a great criminal. That wasn't a great criminal. No, no. You'd lose your money all the time. I remember we went through all the books and we found all the cash that you hid from herself. Yeah. Well, I liked that. That was kind of fun.

That was fun. I would get hammered and hide cash myself. My favorite was when I hit the cash in the fuse box. And then it wasn't until the power went out and $400 fell on my foot. And I was like, wow! Oh, my God. Well, before the bingo game, and this is the key part of this scam. Before the bingo game, Cliff Sr. had set up a trapwire door on stage at the bingo table that he could activate with his foot.

So once the relative with a memorized card was getting close to a bingo, Clifford would get a signal. And at that point, he would press the trapdoor and release the fake balls that would lead the relative to a bingo. After winning, the relative would split the cash with Cliff Sr. No must, no fuss. This is another example of just a job is easier than this game. Just going to work and leaving work and getting a paycheck. This is very impressive. Yeah, it's too much work. It's hard.

It was like carpentry involved. Yeah. You should be doing all this. It's like you're all focusing on the wrong things. Yeah. Now, this scam actually worked perfectly. Nobody ever suspected anything fishy about it. But after Cliff Sr. and Leona chose the wrong relative as their accomplice,

because you can't use the same person every time. Yeah. That relative decided to keep all the winnings for themselves instead of going with the agreed upon split. It was one of those like, what are you going to do about it? call the cops on me. Beat the shit out of you. Yeah. Well, the family had a good old-fashioned dirt bag

falling out over the whole thing. Well, that's my stolen money. I built the trap door. And in the aftermath, the relative decided to snitch on Cliff Senior for the bingo scam, and Cliff was duly sent to jail for fraud. I unfortunately don't know, however,

if the relative managed to snitch without implicating themselves in the scheme. If I were to guess, I would imagine they tried to, but ultimately failed. and were also sent to jail. Or they just gave the money back. That's a Canadian way. Yeah, just give it back.

Oh, it's nice. You know what? In 1961, yep, okay, here's the money. I'm sorry. Yeah. Now, while Cliff Sr. was going into prison, Clifford Olson was just coming out. He'd, of course, been arrested and jailed again.

He was so proud of his dad. Oh, yeah. But after entering the world once more as a 21-year-old, red-blooded Canadian, Clifford Olson began a relationship with a 17-year-old named Janet after seeing her at a... bus stop and offering her a ride. Now, the tale of Clifford and Janet

tells you a lot about Clifford's personality, and it's very important to the overall story. See, Janet later said that she liked how Clifford listened to her, and she liked how he was in her words, she used these exact words, exceedingly energetic. But after talking

his way into having sex with her, his personality switched mid-coitus to violence, and he choked her until she almost blacked out. But once Clifford reached his client, He let his grip loose, and he once again became sweet and gentle. And that's that emotional whiplash. Like, you never fucking know.

Like, it's, it's so, it's so back and forth that you almost wonder, it's like, is it me? Like, do I, am I imagining this? Because it's, it can be surreal. Yeah. But despite that, Clifford and Janet kept seeing each other. And Janet eventually got pregnant. Clifford, however, couldn't stay out of jail. And when he was arrested again, Janet put the baby up for adoption.

Now, Clifford kept calling Janet and writing letters when he was in prison asking for conjugal visits, but because of his dyslexia, he kept calling them congenial visits. They would be. Yes, they would be technically true. Janet, however, dropped Olson completely and dodged a massive bullet. I don't think I should be with that career criminal anymore. Maybe I should stop dating that career criminal keeps doing crap. Yeah, maybe the guy who choked me out the first time we ever made.

Whippy. Nah. Nah. I don't know. I'm going to kick him to the curb. I'm going to date. Have you my new boyfriend? Paul.

Paul Bernardo. Because having sex in prison is kind of like vacation. But, you know, I prefer to actually be in a hotel. I just feel like having sex on a conjugal visit has got to be either. It either has to be the hottest thing you've ever done or the grossest thing anybody can do. I think it depends on the crime. Because you're in a trailer. And the guy's got to watch you.

Yeah, that is true. And so unless you like that. Which you might. I mean, I would imagine it is both the hottest thing you've ever done and the grossest thing you've ever done at the same time. Because no, those. Side stories, L-P-O-T-L at g-Mil.com. Have you ever done a conjugal visit?

Let us know. It'd be awesome. Now, another thing that defines Clifford Olson is his impossibly cheerful personality, which is why I like to compare him to the Joker. See, the Joker is just as happy causing chaos in the streets of Gotham as he is sitting in a cell in Arkham Asylum. smile don't fucking change because the Joker knows he's going to get out eventually one way or another.

Clifford Olson had the exact same attitude because by the early 60s, Clifford became so good at escaping from prison that people began to refer to him as the rabbit. He had not yet had the senator title added. Well, yeah, yeah, he was still just a page. Yeah. Representative Rabbit. Now, Olson didn't have a knack for elaborate escape. Now, Alson didn't have a knack for elaborate escape plans. Instead, just like a rabbit, Clifford Olson relied on escapes of opportunity, which usually came as a result of inept Canadian jailers who simply didn't care about their job enough to pay attention. But also, if you have no scruples and if you have no conscience, making really impulsive decisions that help you in these ways, it's actually much easier. It is. Well, for example,

during one stretch in a Saskatchewan jail, Olson picked the lock to the laundry room, stole some clothes that were not prison issue and confidently just walked out the jail's front door as the guard gave him a polite wave and said, Have a good weekend. It's really nice to see you, Mr. Lincoln. So I'm glad you can visit the jail here. He's like, yeah, it was a bit of a trip, huh? Back to the grave. Olson then hailed a cab to downtown Saskatoon.

Oh, yeah. He invited the cabby to lunch. Wow. The cops, of course, soon found Olson. Saskatoon. And his hours-long escape added another year to a sentence. Clifford, of course, didn't give a fact because he knew that there would always be another opportunity to escape from the, let's say, infamously porous Canadian prison system. Something about a taxi driver in Saskatoon that'll definitely help you fucking get out of jail and just sit and have like a big soup and sandwich with you.

You know, like, big wet sandwich together. Just sitting there and he's like, you know, I tell you about the time I broke out of jail. I started driving a cab. That was 35 years ago today. I wonder if you didn't have money for the cab because he just broke out of jail. And he's like, yeah, we'll go, I'll steal you a sandwich. I also just think that a Canadian will take free food.

Yeah. More than an American. More than an American, you could make your way through Canada with several baguettes. Oh, you think on their Halloween, they don't need candy with rappers, probably. They just a handful of candy corn. They just drop it to the children's mouth.

Like the baby birds. And so throughout the early to mid-1960s, Clifford Olson would commit a petty crime, go to jail, escape, commit more crimes, get arrested again, then escape. And this just happened over and over and over again. During one actual release, Clifford reunited with his prison husband, Lauren,

and the two of them went on a burglary and fraud spree. Yeah, we're cold parenting a butt baby right now. It is really beautiful. Olson was arrested once again by a zubler. as he would do over and over, Olson completely left his partner in crime in the lurch. See, the whole loyalty thing, that only applied to

Clifford, to not apply from Clifford to other people. It's because he's a winner. Yes. Well, instead of helping out his friend, Olson told the RCMP that he alone had information on a drug deal in operation, which he would lead the cops directly to if they

promised a lighter sentence. But when the cops took Olson to the alleged location of the drug operation took him and it was like an abandoned warehouse or something while the RCMP's back was turned like he's fucking bugs bunny Olson just jumps out the window

that's time for Clifford to make his escape where to go see you idiots and albaker keep going that's a Ted Bundy move too yeah yeah he ran away and it took another month for the RCMP

to track down the rabbit one more time Now, Clifford Olson finally served all the time he was given in the 1960s by 1964, but it speculated that after that 1964 release, he may have committed his first murder, although we don't know for sure if this was indeed Clifford Olson. In May of 1964, a 12-year-old girl named Judy Howie was walking home from school in the Lumbertown of Scramish. When she didn't make it home that afternoon, a search was conducted and Judy's body was found at 8 p.m. It was 10 feet off a dirt path in the woods, and it was soon discovered that Judy had been raped and strangled with a manned shirt

that was still tied around the neck of her corpse. Clifford Olson was in the area at the time, and the crime does fit his later M.O., but we really can't say for sure that Olson actually did this, especially because Olson was very fond of confessing. All we know for sure is that no one was ever arrested for the murder of Judy Howell. Well, when they found him, was he wearing a shirt? That's a Canadian thing.

That's a 50-50 thing, man. You don't know. They didn't know until years later. No, no. It actually kind of wasn't put together until much, much later. It's like, oh, he was here at this time. Like, they started to look at where, you know, he had gone. But they often do his serial killers.

Like, look at his path and see which murders match up. I personally believe he would have told that he did it. I kind of think so, too. I think it would be a part of the bodies for cash thing that he did. I think he did, if it was indeed. Well, but that's the thing this body was found. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So there was no bodies for cash. He would, it would have just been something he talked about. Yeah, maybe. But I don't, I, I, I, it was something he wanted to do. No idea. Maybe he was jealous. Did he kill anyone else by strangling him with a shirt?

Uh, just, there was a lot of improvised strangling. That, it's not necessarily, it's not the shirt. That's the important part. It's the improvisational nature of it. It's like, well, what am I got to strangle with a shirt? It's like Robin Williams could kill a girl with a tie. He could kill a girl with a belt. He could kill a girl with a hose from the garden.

He can kill a girl with... That's just this Bill Cosby impression. But that was just... That was when you'd go to sleep. Clifford Olson was wanted for robbery and burglary once again by the summer of 1964. But when the RCMP showed up at his door to arrest him, the rabbit once again ran.

Up of away! 20 officers were called in to find Olson, but none of them had any luck. Incredibly, though, Olson's life was about to experience a massive echo. See, the cops brought in two search dogs named Rinti and Tiger. I want a dog named after Rintin Tins. You can get one.

It's named after, that's what was Rintin Tins' nickname. Oh, Rinty? Rinty, yeah. Oh, that's really nice, yeah. Maybe I could just call the dog Runti. Well, but just as it had been when he was a kid, Rinty and Tiger tracked Olson directly to his hiding place in a blackberry thatch. Rinty was awarded police dog of the year for his service,

which, you know, fuck, fuck Tiger, I guess. Tiger was there, but fucking Rinty gets all the goddamn credit. I mean, fucking talk to those, the three astronauts that had a fight to come out of that fucking door. All right, now's a long conversation. All right, those guys got real fucking butt hurt later on talking about, like, oh, he's only the second fucking chode on the moon. Yeah, yeah, the other guy had to stay with the car.

Yeah, BIA said there, making sure nobody stole it. Well, after this crime, Clifford Olson was sentenced to three and a half years in the pen, but after less than a year, he got bored. And in April of 1965, the rabbit devised another escape. This one, however, was planned. And I got to admit, this is a pretty clever fucking scheme. And I'll also put this to our current incarcerated listeners. This is a good way to escape from jail.

This is a very good way. It's a really good way. So really pay attention. Although it does depend solely on the incompetence. and laziness of the prison guard. You know what, you know those guys. You know the bad ones. Yeah, so we're talking to you, Ocala.

Well, the scam started with Olson telling the prison doctor that he'd been going to the bathroom a lot, and he was constantly thirsty. A lot. A lot. The doctor naturally asked for a urine sample, but while Olson peed in the cup, he pricked his finger with a needle

so he could make it look like he was peeing blood. Look at all the blood. Look at all the blood in this. Oh, my God. Oh my God! This is, of course, quite serious. So the doctor, who I would imagine, liked Clifford Olson just as most people did... I gotta make sure his dick's okay.

He ordered Olson to a nearby hospital for more tests. And once a guard got Olson to the hospital waiting room, he, for some reason, removed Clifford's handcuffs. Well, it's hard for him to piss without the handcuffs. Yeah, that's true. Because then the guy's got to hold... But he's sitting in the waiting room. He's sitting in the waiting room. You know how you get a cop to remove your handcuffs.

someone's got to wipe my ass, you're going to do it? Oh, shit! The fucking shit! Cops love that too. They love that, hearing that you need to shit. I would imagine the cops probably just say, have a dirty ass. They'll just say shit on the...

Yeah, you're going to shoot your pants. That's an American thing. In Canada, they're too nice. Yeah, that is true. Oh, we don't want to muss up the jails, hell. Well, after taking off the handcuffs, the guard fucking wandered off for just a moment.

I got to go chase. a bike. Presumably, I would imagine he gave Clifford a very stern like, don't go anywhere now, mister,

I'm trusting you. I promise. And I'm as good as my word. Olson, of course, walked out of the hospital the second the guard

was out of sight. He stole a bicycle and just fucking took off. Again, unceremonious escape possible. Does that sound?

Rabbits on the loose. Olson immediately embarked upon a crime spree after this escape. But Olson also, he liked having a partner in crime. So he called up his old buddy Dave. That was the guy who had helped

Clifford boost wine using the truck that they'd stolen at the racetrack. Oh, okay. He stays in touch with people. He does. He's a good friend. And together, the two of them ran even more wild. Clifford, however, finally took it too far with the impromptu robbery of a Safeway supermarket. See, Clifford Olson relied on impulse, intuition, and targets of opportunity for his criminal endeavors. So when he got the idea to rob the supermarket, he just pulled out his stolen 22 pistol a split second later and got on with it. Now the pistol wasn't loaded. Clifford just like carrying it around because it made him feel important, but the effect was the same as if it had been full of bullets. But since Clifford was so impulsive with his crimes, he often missed out on big scores. During this

safeway robbery, for example, Clifford and Dave came away with little more than a sack contained $89 in coins, they had completely missed the store's cash bag, which was stuffed with $15,000 Canadian. Do your homework. Do your research. He reminds me of Nicholas Cage from Raising Arizona. It's a little bit like that. He is just like, he's both, it's the only reason why he's a career criminal just because

he doesn't stop doing crimes. Yeah. He's not a great criminal. No. No, he's not. He just stopped. He just wouldn't stop doing crimes. You know, it's like that scene in Pulp Fiction, you know, in the diner.

It's like, let's do it right here, right now, rob the diner. Yeah. Less preparation than that. Yeah. You know, it's just like, I want to rob the safe way. Boom, pulls out the gun and let's figure out how to do it. And let's just go along with it. And he comes with $89 and fucking change.

Imagine how many times it works that we didn't even know about. Unfortunately, it's a really good way to rob something. Because if you case it and you go, someone can enter it. They recognize you. It's the whole thing. You're big on giving tips and tricks today. I'm just saying.

It's just a part of it. It's just like, I'm in the mode now. Grabbing a bag full of coins instead of a sack of cash, it's funny. And the small score, $89 in coins, it makes the crime,

it's cute. It's not cute. He fucking rhymed. He fucking robbed everybody at gunpoint. It's cute. But it is just a bunch of nickel. I know, but that's because he's,

fucking moron. And Nichols is a funny word. It is. But therefore, it was picked up by the local media. And because the prison escape was added to the story, Clifford was almost

approaching folk hero status in Vancouver. See, after the robbery, Clifford and Dave narrowly escaped the cops again and again. You know, there are guys that,

you want to root for. And while listening to the police radio at a motel, Clifford and Dave heard the cops describing them as canning, resourceful,

and dangerous. They're like an evil spider man and Batman. They're the two handsomest men I've ever seen. If I could make one a woman I'd marry it. Oh, I love these boys. Hey, guys, let's see home. Let's not go after these boys. Yeah, we're hiring fellas, you know.

The media also heard these colorful descriptors being discussed over the police band. So, the media went deeper on the story and decided to interview Clifford's mother, Leona. She had some choice words to say about her son, offering this assessment. He's a coward by himself and he needs a partner. This is the seventh time he's gotten away from the police, though. You've got to admit, he's quick on his feet. This is turning in the trailer park boys. Dude, it is.

I got a little thing on trailer park boys at the end. Oh, you do? Yeah, it is. It is. It is. Now, Clifford and Dave were in full outlaw mode by this point, so they crossed the American border to the town of Blaine, Washington.

The police chief in Blaine stopped Clifford and Dave and immediately pegged them as the Safeway Change Robbers. You're just dumb enough looking. But once again, they're jingling a jingling and jettling. No, no, no, no, no, we're just... Their pants are falling around their knees.

We're sad to them else. All right, let me buy that TV from you. Canadian coin money But once again Once the police chief Kind of pegged them as the robbers Olson rabbited out into the woods

In the middle of their chat with Washington's finest And he left his He probably blinded the cops with a handful of nickels Right Ain't a way or go Yeah And of course he left his buddy Dave to take the rat Once in the woods

Olson climbed a tree And used his shoelaces to tie his unloaded 22 pistol to the tree branches to hide it from the caps. And after climbing down, he jogged a good distance away, dug a little hole for himself with his hands, and covered himself up with leaves. Don't you say nothing, tree. Oh, just say nothing.

And now this is when Clifford becomes the potato. You'll never find the potato. His idea was to literally lay life. until he could once again rab it away. This is a this is Wiley coyote shit. Yeah. But by this point, the RCMP had been notified and the RCMP had

already pinpointed Dave's weakness. The Batman and Robin to his Joker, if you will. The dynamic duo in this case was Rinty and Tiger. Police dogs extraordinaire. They're the only police doing a job. They're the only police officers doing a single

thing to help. Canadian cops are worse than dogs. I know I can't find him. You want to give it to the dog? I'm tired of the fucking dog taking all the goddamn credit around here. Yeah, well, your sense of smell is shit, Dave.

Well, you quit smoking like I told you. Your fucking smell is smell might come back, Dave. And they fucking, these two dogs got brought over the border, found him immediately. Boom, done. Yeah, because he's hiding in a hole covered in the lead. It's a perfect place for a dog to find you. Yeah.

If dogs are looking for you, that's where they're going to find you. This time... Guess where they're not going to find you, no motel them. In the tree! Up in the tree, with the gun! This time, both dogs were rightfully awarded for service. That's just because Tiger fucking bitched him out. Yeah, Tiger made a fucking stink about it.

Fucking deal. And Clifford Olson went back to jail. He was sentenced to seven years, but because of the media coverage of his robberies and his escapes, Clifford Olson have become a small-time Canadian criminal celebrity. Now, as he said, at this point, he's very much on the level of a trailer park boy when it comes to the crimes for which he's been arrested. And if I'm being honest, I understand trailer park boys on a whole new level after learning about Clifford Olson.

It seems so much more like a reality show. It's a type of Canadian. That's kind of what I mean. It's a stripe of Canadian. Yeah, it's this, just this criminal idea. Like, it's funny, mischievous little crimes, little scams, kind of fun. Again, it's all too cute for anybody to sort of take it as seriously as they need to and toll somebody then murders and rapes 10 children.

Yeah, damn. No, it's like in the trailer part, like, that's the best joke is when they're having, you know, the scene where they're having the gun fight and then one of them get shot and they go, time out. Time out. I got shot. Oh, we got a guy hurt. over here.

I know what's his name? Got gations. The guy with the glasses got big time gations. Oh yeah, that's a whole different. Yeah, bubbles. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, his name's bubbles. He just is Clifford Olson. Yeah. Well, let's focus on Ricky and Julian. I'd like to focus on that. Because as opposed to the relatively harmless adventures

of Ricky and Julian, Clifford Olson was not just a confused petty criminal with good intentions and a heart of gold. See, during this seven-year stent in prison, Clifford Olson would be introduced to the weapon

he would come to rely on when he finally began his serial killing spree. In prison, Olson found out what happens when hammer meets skull. And that is where we'll pick back up for part two of this three-part series. It will kill.

It will kill. When you put hammer to skull, it will kill. You really got to keep those hammers out of those prisoners' hands. Yeah, what the fuck? Why they're hanging down hammers? Yeah. We'll get there, though. God, it's good to be back into your crime.

It is, it is. And you got to keep the hammers out of the skulls. Hammers don't belong in skulls. No, they belong in the workforce. That's right. Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. You can listen to us ad free. You can also go and see last stream on the left live every Tuesday, 5 p.m. PSD.

Also, you get movie stories, the video on Patreon. Go fucking get it. We're working really hard on it. Or you're currently watching us on that. Netflix right now because we're there. And also, No Dogs in Space is back. It's back, baby. It's out.

It's out. I think by the time you hear this, we should have two new episodes out. You had New York Dolls Parts. One and two. How many are you doing? It's going to be a five-part series with a CODA at the end because the careers of the New York dolls after the New York Dolls is an insane story all on its own. Keep it hot, hot, hot.

Then, Buster Keep it, ha, ha, ha. Buster Pointexter is the least interesting part. I love Buster Pointexter. But still, it is the least interesting part. Like, you know, Arthur Kane, the bassist, was almost murdered during the Los Angeles riots, the Rodney King riots. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. Don't spoil it. You can't wait to listen. Stay in New York. Oh, yeah, that's the only, that's always been his problem. You go to YouTube, LPN TV. Bloodbast 77 is also wrapping up. Yeah.

And go check out the ending episodes. are fucking fantastic and we will be coming back with a new announcement very soon about the third season and also I'm allowed to now announce within days we will be putting out the day for our re-release of our Halloween sound effects album yeah we're doing a second or second printing it is coming out any day now second pressing second pressing thank you and we will all be coming out very soon and just so you know it's coming out and those records will be out will be in your home by Halloween that's what I'm fucking talking about bro.

I'm talking about fuckers. So they're coming out, fucker. Yeah, and then go to Spotify and check out the song. If you got, if you're worried about it. That's for trash. Yeah, that's right, man. That's fucking awesome. I'm hitting the road. I'm always, this weekend on Sunday, I'm going to be in Milwaukee, pretty close to Canada. I'll get some inside information

on what's going on. Please do it. I'm going to be at the laughing tap with my boy Logan Metz. It's going to be a lot of fun. Tom Goss is going to be hosting the show. We're going to have great time. October 4th at Denver at the Comedy Works. My first show sold out. Can't wait. So I added a second show. So come on with it, dude. That's my birthday show. And then Henry and I are going to be at the Warsaw in Brooklyn on October 9th. We're

going to have a lot of fun. I just wanted to play that fucking place. Me too. And then Hartford, Connecticut, man. On October 11th, we're going to have fun. And of course, October 14th in Los Angeles at the Stray Theater. Slambers comedy bash with Amber Nelson. All kinds of shows coming down the pipe for you fuckers. Go to edytunes.com to see where I'm at. And the reason why y'all are doing the show at the Warsaw is because we are going to be at New York Comic-Con this year. That's right. 5.m., I believe, is our... It's 5 or 6th.

5 p.6. We're doing a big panel and signing. October 8th. Yeah. October 8th is the panel, and on Saturday is the signing. Yeah, we'll be doing a sign-in with Z2 comics to... Yeah, because if you haven't checked out the newest edition, you know, like I did that fucking story with Matt Wagner. There's an incredible Bonnie and... So fucking good.

There's an incredible Bonnie and Clyde story done by the creator of arsenic lullaby that might be one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. And we wrap up our little detective popcorn miniseries as well. So please check it out. I think it's our best one. We're doing a bunch of cool shit. A lot of cool shit. Thank you very much for supporting our cool shit that we do throughout the years.

And I love you. Hail Satan. Oh, how keen. Hail Rick Denko, great Canadian musician. It was part of the band. Oh, I thought you were going to hail Rinty. the most awarded dog today. He's a fucking cop.

Yeah. Okay. We can hail Danko just as long as we don't hail Robbie Robertson. Yeah, we all know we took the money. He stole the fucking money. Love Danko.