Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 83: Unsolved Serial Murders Part 1: The Phantom, the Axe, and the Torso

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

In the first of a two part series, the boys examine cases of unsolved serial murders, including the Phantom of Texarkana, The Axeman of New Orleans, and the Cleveland Torso Murderer!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? You can't do the fire song. You're not allowed to. I am a true American. I don't have any rules. Oh, yes, you do. I can kill whoever I want. Drone strike. Drone strike.

I'm standing my ground. I'm standing my ground. Really? You think that's appropriate? Hey, everybody, I'm standing my ground. That's Marcus Parks. I'm Ben Kissel. With me to the left. Stand your ground, Henry Zabrowski. I stand my ground. That means I can do anything I want. That's right. Yeah. Let's have a low center of gravity.

That's right. That's what people don't realize. That's what that law meant. George Silverman had a low legal center of gravity. Oh, he could not move off the ground. So he has to stand the ground. Yeah, he's a weevil wobble. He's a weevil wobble. He keeps going, man. And then I heard that he's going to take the gun that he used

to kill Trayvon Martin. He's going to keep it for protection for himself. And I think that's good news. Good news. God knows. He knows how to use it. That's wonderful. Good news going on. Stand your ground, Henry Zabrowski. Well, speaking of crime.

It's the end times. It is the end times. Of course, the Zimmerman one was so close. The Zimmerman case was solved. But today we're going to discuss crimes that were not so solved. Some call them unsolved. You know what? It is kind of a cool intro.

Yeah, he's got a trench coat. Oh, oh, oh, what's under your coat there, stack? Big old day. Big old day. It's my loopy penis. Loopy penis. Thanks, Robert Stack. This is great. Unsolved mysteries.

That was awesome. Loopy penis. Today we're going into, again, I want to say that these are some of the scarier crimes in the face of the planet, because some makes people can still be out there. Oh, yeah, definitely. Looking for sweet, succulent, tit-meat.

Don't be a prostitute. They want to shave it off like a bunch of ham. That's what they do to your breasts, ladies. That's right. That's right. Like a bunch of deli ham. Put some pastrami on top of that. And a nice little piece of Moonstre cheese. You get yourself a $4.99.

You're just making me hungry. Yeah. All I've had this morning is a banana. Because I had a monkey's breakfast. You did have a monkey's breakfast. By the way, I just want to let everyone know that I'm listening at home. Again, for the second episode in a row,

Henry Zabrowski is shirtless. I am not going to wear a shirt until the summer is over. Okay. I am going to murder. What do you care? Because I have to stare at it. You're looking at me. I look like one of your cousins.

All right. So let's get into our first unsolved crime before we get into the monster that is Zodiac. Well, I would say a lot of these crimes, some of them happened before pre-1960, 1970. Sure. Most of these crimes, and there's a very...

Mostly because it's like cop surgery. It's like there were nine hot dog squads going on around the country. I was going like, well, hey, Jeff, what do I do with the knife? What's up? I'm cleaning it. You're cleaning it.

You weren't supposed to clean it. Yeah, I was cutting it up for the company barbecue. There's a bunch of blood on it, and I knew for a fact everybody wanted apples and peanut butter for an early snack before lunch. Well, there is actually... You're closer to the truth than you may think. I know.

I know. Because before around the 1970s, 1980s, the term serial murderer, serial killer, was not in the police lexicon. In fact, most police officers believed that it was almost impossible for a man or a woman to kill someone that they did not know. If there was a murder...

The dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. 1945, a man named Adolf Hitler made a gigantic auto industry, technically, and out of killing people, he didn't know. Unless you went around sending, like, get-to-know-you cards, and he was like, okay, had he likes hockey? You can kill her now.

You can kill her now. That's good. How much information do you have to know about a person before you're like, I can murder you now. This is good. It's hat size and favorite color. That's it. Okay.

Well, police believed that if there was a murder, then it was almost impossible for a stranger to kill them. So a lot of these serial murders, they didn't link them whatsoever. And in fact, BTK, for the longest time, they did not believe, despite there being evidence that these crimes were linked, they were like,

nah, nah, nah, nah, they're not linked. Isn't it so bizarre all these people falling off the edge of the mountain with their balls and their mouths and their eyes, you know, carved with excess? Isn't that weird? Especially BTK, because they let the fucking panties stick to their head. Each one, he looked at the panties and they would come all covered in it.

Yeah. There's definitely a pattern there. So a lot of these serial murders. It started a long time ago. Yeah. And it wasn't really until Bundy that they really started paying attention to patterns across the United States and eventually popped in on these guys.

So a lot of these murders are like pre-1970. So let's start. On February 1946, two young people, Jimmy Hollis and Mary G. Larry, were parked on a secluded Bowie County road outside Texarkana. They were forced out of the car by an armed man, his face hidden by a burlap sack with two slits for eyes. That's a precursor to our favorite.

That's coming up very soon. That's right. The assailant beat Hollis with the gun, cracking the young man's skull in two places. Keith then sexually assaulted Larry before fleeing when he saw the headlights of a car approaching. Both of these victims eventually were covered from their wounds. He used the gun rope.

This is the beginning of the Phantom of Texarkana. Well, that just sounds like a gay show, too. Doesn't it? The Phantom of Texarkana. Also known as Chattanooga Express comes into town and will meet the Phantom of Texarkana. I mean, in the other name for it is no better the Texarkana Moonlight Murders.

I mean, it's terrible. With the Texarkana Moonlight Murders, I kind of see as like a cute name for a bunch of people getting their fucking, like, pussy's cord out of them. Like, that would be like a fun thing to read about. Right, sure. Yeah, I can see that. And to give you a little background,

Texarkana is one of the worst places on Earth. No, is this close to where you live? No, this might as well be two states over. This is right. It's called Texarkana because half of it is in Texas and half of it is in Arkansas. Paper mills. Smells like farts.

I worked there for a month doing construction when I was like 16. Awful place. Half? The only half Texas? Oh, my God. It's like half puke, half goat butter. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I like that goat butter. We get the goat butter. That's good. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. I'm just not used to that type of butter. Yeah, it's different. More details on, more details on the actual, on the first assault is the man brought them out of the car

and then told the boy, like, told the guy, take your pants off. Yeah. That's scary. And so the guy says, call in card to take your pants off from her and see, that's a good name. Yeah, I would be terrified by that guy. So the guy took his pants off down to his ankle.

The guy hit him twice in the head. And the woman was sexually assaulted, although she does maintain that she was never raped. Okay. So what do you mean? Like, he was just kissing her? Like, just grabbing at her. He just put down a blanket.

He had some red wine with him, some nice fromages. I'm not into, you know what? This is like, only the third worst date I've been on, but I didn't ask for it. Mm-hmm. Yep. So the man... They sat and he watched when Harry met Sally

and then afterwards she was like, I don't know if I like the way he held my hand. It's a sexual assault. I agree. I don't want to get Jezebel in our tail. The next don't. Of course not. Get him out of here.

Get him out of here. Any news is good news, right? That's right. Gotta get those female bloggers to hate us. Won't be hard. Won't be hard. Next up was Richard Griffin and Polly Ann Moore. Too busy falling in love with our voices.

Yes. I love female bloggers. Only two weeks later, Richard Griffin and Polly Ann Moore, again on a secluded country road, while they were making time out by the moonlight. Oh, my. Man comes up with a.32 revolver, brings them out of the car,

shoots them both in the head, and then puts them back in the car. Did not sexually assault the woman that time. But did he like nail the dude's hands at ten and two and then put the radio on? That would be good, yeah. Let's go surfin' now. Everybody's learnin' how.

It was 1946, so it was like, That's a good sign to roll down a mountain dead too. Less than a month later, Paul Martin and Betty Jo Booker, a fifteen-year-old aspiring saxophonist who had just played a gig with her band, The Rhythm Airs. Later on would be loosely based on the character,

Lisa Simpson. They were found murdered in their car. Again, Mary Jo, she was taken out of the car, raped, shot in the head, and then put back in the car. Her saxophone was found, thrown from the car in a mud ditch where it stayed for months.

No respect for music. And now there is the ending of the same guy, right? And The Rhythm Airs never played again. Isn't that tragic? And they had a gig booked. I just imagine the same sort of mass killer like going through the village in New York and just like killing girls and throwing their ukuleles

out of the district. Ah, it's the winsome ukulele player murderer. I would be happy if you did that. If there was a serial killer out there, then you're listening, please. The calling card is cute sort of like dirty parody songs played on the ukulele. Feel free, take them out, take them out.

So as soon as this is all the same guy. This is the same guy. And this is the time that the streets of Texarkana went fucking insane because now you've got an assault and two and four murders. It's very, very interesting how you can... A month and a half.

You can see him actually, like the first one, he just beats him, doesn't really do anything. Then finally he gets to killing and then finally gets to killing and raping. Like he's really figuring this out slowly. Well, they all talk about it. Ted Bundy had an amazing quote.

And he was talking about how the first time that you, the first time you do a murder, you know where everything is and it's perfectly planned. The 30th time you do a murder, you forget where the lug wrench is. Yo. I love that that's a Ted Bundy joke.

Yo, yo, that's, yeah, that's him. He understands. Yeah, we all get sick of our job. And even we get lazy here on last podcast. Of course. Actually, no, we don't. Because we respect our audience. We're not like Ted Bundy,

who gave up 30 times in, because we're 84 in. And I never forget where the fucking lug wrench is. And it's always right here in my big old greasy pocket. That's true, everybody. He keeps a lug wrench. Because I got a ham and cheese croissant in there as well. So the town of Texarkand is going fucking nuts.

People are shooting each other accidentally on a damn near weekly basis. Of course it is, because it's also probably one of the, it's like the Gaza Strip in terms of who's got armaments on them at any given point. And old Bubba's got a fucking like civil war cannon in his backyard going like,

I'm gonna get that phantom. And there was, and people were building these like elaborate pots and pans, booby traps near their doors. The pots and pans, booby traps. See y'all, you want to take a look over here, is that I have put, if you notice,

I've put an octagon of banana peels in front of my door frame here, and that when he flips up, what I'm hoping is, is that he slips on one of the various pots I could put in front of that, and that one of the pots ends up on his head, thus making him blind,

and then I'll shoot him in the throat. Oh wow. You could just shoot him to begin with. No, I like the sounds of a man falling through a bunch of pots and pans. Oh, okay. It's like a lullaby to me. Oh, all right, all right.

What are you using to cook in your kitchen right now? All the pots and pans seem to be outside of a booby trap. I mean, oh, Bessie, better fucking figure it out, or is she gonna get the pots and pans treatment herself? Okay, well, I'm sure she will then. No one wants the pots and pans treatment. The city council set up a reward fund. It got up to over $4,200.

Oh wow. For any and all information, leading to the arrest of the Phantom of Texas. $4,200 and you get all entitlement to Bessie Jackson. Oh wow. I'm here to serve the community. And so this is the point when the Texas Rangers get involved

and send down Manuel Lone Wolf Gonzalez. Oh, cool. All right. This is an amazing story. Is this not ever been made into a movie? It has. It was called The Town That Dreaded Sundown. The Town That Dreaded Sundown.

Oh yes, it's supposed to be really good, right? Yeah, it's supposed to be kind of like a campy-ish, but pretty good horror movie. Oh yeah. Did anyone else? I was saving that reveal for the end. Thanks, Henry. Damn it.

You blew it, Henry. You blew the whole goddamn thing. I'm no Ira Glass. Well, thank God. Thank God for that. Did anybody else picture Lorenzo Lamas from Renegade? Yeah. I could see that, right?

The Lone Wolf. You know who? I pictured the fat sheriff from House of a Thousand Corpses. Okay, different versions of the guy. You two are looking more modern. That's true. I was looking at handsome young Gilbert Godfrey. Sure.

All three of these could work. Just do an amalgamation of all three of those characters. Amalgamation? Amalgamation. Yeah, so Gonzales came into town and, of course, fueled a hysteria because he's a fucking idiot. He went on the radio and said, I'll see the phantom and he's got wings.

That Tex-Arcanians should, quote, oil up their guns and see if they're loaded, put them out of reach of children, do not use them unless it's necessary, but if you believe it is, do not hesitate. When asked what the advice he would give to the quiet in the town's fear, he responded, I'll tell him to check the locks and bolt on their doors and get a double bell shotgun to take care of any intruder who tried to get in.

This just sounds like what's happening in Florida right now. Oh, yeah, definitely. Nothing has changed. It's staying your ground. In case any phantoms and everybody winks the whole town winks at once and everyone does quotation marks at once. We know what they mean. We know what they're talking about.

So at this point, all of the murders are teenagers on Lovers Lane. Lovers Lane, yeah. They're making out, necking. However, at this point, the cops are everywhere, but this man still feels the urge to kill. Man, an old Todd has got his blue balls up his fucking ass because he hasn't been able to go on to make out point with Lucy anytime soon. I know it.

So he goes out into the Starks Ranch way outside of town. He goes, Virgil is sitting on his front porch. Katie's inside cooking dinner. Guy shows up. He shoots Virgil in the face twice. Katie goes out and sees it. She runs back inside. The Texarkana phantom shoots her in the face twice.

She gets away, runs down the road to her sister's place, calls the cops, and the Texarkana phantom is never seen again. However, they do believe that at one point, they did arrest the guy who was responsible. His name was, let's see here, Yellman. Yellman? Yellman?

Yell, Sweeney. Yell, Sweeney. Yell, Sweeney did this? Yell, Sweeney. That little dumb boy, Yell, Sweeney did this? Yeah, he was found because it was believed that the Texarkana phantom would steal a car, commit the murder, and then dump the car.

And Sweeney was found with a stolen car. There were some fingerprint, not fingerprint matches. I can't remember exactly what it was, but he was linked to the crime when they went to arrest him. He left several of his wigs at the scene of the crime. Yes. Not my beautiful wigs. Oh, I don't want anyone to see how balding I am.

Oh, I must be presentable. The phantom of Texarkana. Texarkana. His wife provided details of the murder. It's like my husband said that he did this. However, a wife is not required to testify against her husband in trial, so they never had any evidence, so he never actually... That's a good fucking wife there.

Yeah. Yeah. However, after he was arrested, the murder stopped. However, some people in town claim that the murderer was rumored to be from a well-to-do Texarkana family. Intriguing. I'm rich people up there. I guarantee it's them rich people up there on that hill.

They're sending their sons down here to fucking murder us, kill our children. They just think we're a bunch of pigs and cows. I'll have them know we're a bunch of goats and chickens. I agree. So what's the death toll for this guy? The death toll on him is five. Five.

But he attempted to do what? Seven. Yeah. Five out of seven? Yeah. Not bad. Not terrible. Not terrible.

I mean, you shoot a girl twice in the face. You got to kill her. I mean, at the same time, I mean, you just ruined her dating life. Yeah. You know, because she's now too old Betsy for the rest of her life. I agree. And she's like, nah, I got four holes. I mean, somebody might be into it.

Who knows. Yes, a dude, yeah, just putting his dick in her other face hole. Yeah. Not letting it heal up. Well, that's wonderful. I love it. So let's see. Any other unsolved story?

Let me quickly go over a guy that I was researching, a guy called the Axe Man of New Orleans. Axe Man of New Orleans. Now, again, this sounds like some sort of blues player, but it's not. He does. It's a man who killed Italian grocers in the early 1900s. How did he kill them?

He hit him in the head with an axe. The thing was is that, so back in the day, so 1911, there's not a lot of, mostly what came out about this unknown case is the fact that it was the first time newspapers came out and talked about this idea of a dual personality. Everyone was obsessed with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the time, because it had just come out. And everyone was talking about that in terms of people

for the first time. The idea of a guy that could have two separate personalities, essentially because the Axe Man wrote this really ridiculous letter to the police, which I'm going to read very soon. But he killed a couple of Italian grocers called the Magios. They apparently then officially changed their name to the Magios, which is how they eventually became, you know, Ralph Maggio. That's the family line.

It's not true. They were in the Carodians. That's not true. Then he killed a Polish grocer and his mistress. He didn't really kill the, he killed the mistress. He didn't kill the dude. But the thing is there's got a real vendetta against grocers. I don't know what it is.

I think that he was afraid of cantaloupes. I think that he was trying to get his sort of, I think he was starting the first Whole Foods, and he was going against the corporate chills around it. I agree. Destroy the competition. But the way, I guess, Axes were made in 1911, that you could just hit a dude like three or four times

with an ax and it would kind of just like, hurt him. They were really dull. So they didn't die. He didn't split their heads open. He like, it's like essentially like a big pointed hammer back in the day. Yeah.

He tried killing a pregnant woman and failed. Yes. He failed to kill a pregnant woman? Yes. And he hit her in the head a bunch of times with an ax. I mean, if you tell you to get an ax, it sounds like a muddler you could make guacamole with. I think that's what they meant to call him,

was the muddler of New Orleans. Yeah, and the muddler of New Orleans, that's terrifying. But the way he would, the common thing that linked him to all these crimes is that because Italians used to live like rats escaping from a sinking ship, they all lived in wooden shanty houses. So he would just, instead of breaking in, he just cut a hole in the back of the house.

So you just took an exacto knife and just made a door. Like literally, like made a door in the back of the house and go in. And it was like the first one, it was like the, the grocers that were killed, it was two brothers, it was three brothers living with three brothers and then one of the brothers' wives. And they're all just mashed together in a fucking like,

essentially a wooden tent. So it's like what, it's as close as you could possibly get to like an acme cartoon. Yes. Like when Wiley Coyote throws a, Yes. Like when he throws a piece of, like a black circle against the, against a wall and just, just creates an,

He's the Wiley Coyote of Norns. Did he, did he scalp a lot of window to escape from? Well, he would do a lot of, yeah, he would draw like a sort of, for victims, how we kill this victim is that he would find a gigantic cave wall. Okay. And he would paint like a road going through it. Like it was like a sort of tunnel.

You know, like the other side and they would just go in there and they would smash their fucking brains. So they did it to themselves. On the cave wall. Brilliant. And they would just, they suspect that he may have been kind of retarded. But I would like to read.

He was very bad at what he did. Oh yeah. Did he kill anybody? He killed a two year old girl. Yeah. He killed the one of the, Not tough. He killed two people.

Okay. And then the rest of it was just like the ax man's coming. And then they, like, because there were a long time they thought that it was just mob related killings because back in 1900, early 1900s, New Orleans, the whole town was run by the mob. So they just thought this guy was just a mob hit man who was just a moron. But then it turned out like, you know, no,

he's the ax man in New Orleans. And he probably could. He's a muddler. There's a lot of people who said that the muddler of New Orleans could have possibly been one of the richer sons of one of the wealthy members of society. Well, he's obviously an inbred. No doubt about that.

Obviously. It's always this. Yeah. This is the common, this is the common fucking, you're always just like, but maybe it's a nobility sum. Well, I don't know why. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, let me read the letter. Yeah. Let's read the ax man letter, the muddler letter here. And I'm going to read it in a proper dialect of the time. New Orleans. Hell. Mark 13. 19, 19.

Yeah. Theme mortal. They out there caught me in a near wheel. They out there. See me. I'm a visible. Even as the ether that surrounds the earth, I'm not the ear of my beard, but the spirit.

I'm reading along with you and I can't understand what you're saying. The spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleans and your foolish police call the ax man. He named himself. You can't name yourself. He's the muddler. I'm the ax man.

When I see fear, I shall come and claim other victims. I alone know who they shall be. I shall leave no clue except my bloody ax. Be smeared with blood and brains of the he whom I have sent below to keep me a couple now. This man is wearing a cape made of a, made of a. I hope you like gumbo. Creole.

That's not a part of the letter. If you wish you may tell the police to be careful not to rile me. Of course, I am a reasonable spirit. I take no offense at the way they have conducted their investigations in the past. In fact, they have been so utterly stupid as to not only amuse me, but his satanic majesty, Francis of Joseph, et cetera. But tell them to beware.

Let them not try to discover what I am. For it were better that they were never born to incur the wrath of the ax man. I'm the ax man. I'm the ax man. Yeah, that is the thing. He is wearing an aluminum foil hat and a fucking blanket cape right now. I don't think there is any need of any such warning. For I feel sure the police will always dodge me as they have in the past.

They are wise and know how to keep away from all harm. Undupidably, you Orleanians think of me as the most horrible murderer. Which I am. But I could be much worse if I wanted to. If I wished I could pay a visit to your city every night. At will I could slay thousands of your best citizens. Thousands. For I am in close relationship with the angel of death.

Now to be exact at 12.15, earthly time. What other time is he talking about? Hell is time. Hell's time. On next Tuesday night I'm going to pass over New Orleans. In my infinite mercy I'm going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is. I am very fond of Yaz music.

And I swear by all the devils in the nether regions That every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing At the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going well Then so much debate for you people. One thing is certain is that some of your people who do not jazz it on Tuesday night If there be any will get the axe. Oh my goodness.

Well as I am cold and crave the warmth of my native Tartarus It is about time I leave your earthly home. I will cease my discourse. Hoping that thou will publish this. That it may go well with thee. I have been am and will be the worst spirit that ever existed Either in fact or realm of fancy. The axe man.

The axe man did not write that letter. The mud load of warlords. There is no way in hell the axe man wrote that. I think it was written by Jared Logan. It was a dandy fop who wanted a jazz party on Tuesday. I think it was some kind of like a sex axophonist. Sexophonist. Sex fascinist.

Sex fascinist. Well that's great. I love the axe man very much. And then really quick I read about another thing called the West Mesa Bone Collector Which I read about it and I was so excited to learn about it. I was like ooh because they found 11 prostitutes and one fetus buried in a field. And this is current. This is they found them in 2009.

This is 2009 and I was like this is amazing. They were all involved in something with the drug cartel. I was like Bone Collector. What the fuck is this guy called the Bone Collector? You know it's like did he take the bones? He make it in a hat? You know that's what I want to know about. It was a heavy hat though.

So I googled West Mesa Bone Collector and this is the first thing that came up was this video. Okay. The West Mesa Bone Collector. It sits above the man on a couple rusty nails. I just this song came up first. This song. Dang.

It's some guy put it up as his English project and changes all the curse words on the actual video so that he could show it to his class. A project I did for English that I thought I might as well go ahead and put on here. This song is called Grand Daddy's Gun. What's it all about? It's all about standing your ground. Never letting anybody tell you what you need to do on your block. That's right.

Good, good. The whole time is all talking about all the dudes and animals that Grand Daddy shot with his favorite gun. It's a bit of a psychotic song. I mean it's you know a gun. It's a love song to your old weird grandfather's gun. It would be cool if his grandfather was the Zodiac killer. Grand Daddy's Call. That would be kind of fun.

When he shoved inside my grandma there and he made me watch it all. Grand Daddy's Call. That's a great song. Of course there are plenty of other and so there's the Cleveland torso murder. That guy is actually a fucking kill 12 people. That guy's for real. The Cleveland torso murder killed 12 people to capitation. He'd always do this thing where he'd cut the head and arms and legs off and put them in a bunch of leaves

and be right underneath it like rustle. And then you'd nail them up to a wall and just be like art. 12 confirmed victims. Only two of them were ever identified. All the rest of them were transients to hobos. Well yeah because they didn't have any heads, arms or legs. Some of them about half had their heads missing. Do we have any belly buttons prints on this guy?

Well if he's never been arrested before. Yeah sometimes he would cut them off at the torso and then that's why he called the torso murder because he would take the legs and he would take the head and just kind of leave the torso and the arms for whatever reason. That's kind of fun. Who knows why. Fun body to stumble over. And there's you know it's suspected that I mean it could be he could have killed like dozens more.

Some sort of nobility son. Yeah some say that some say it could be a nobility sonsman. Sonsman. It's also said that the torso murderer could have been the Black Dahlia murderer. Yeah it could have may have also been the no head no legs murderer. Because he had no heads no legs. He also did the same thing but it wasn't like torso specific. It was more about what he did with the heads and the legs.

Right right right. He's also rumored to be the perpetrator of 17 murders in Newcastle Pennsylvania referred to as the murder swamp killer. Oh right. Yeah you see. Murder swamp I guess. I love these unsolved crimes. Yeah and his other and his other alias is the Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run. That's great.

Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run. That sounds like a guy I can get behind. That's where a lot of his bodies were found. Okay. There in Jackass Hill. Jackass Hill. Jackass Hill. Yeah.

Why do you even go there? Is that a make out point? Dolly you want to come out to Jackass Hill? She's like no Jackass. I ain't going to have sex with you Jackass. They're all make out points. Yeah all of them are. And of course there's the Chicago Tylenol murders.

That's right. Or murders which were absolutely never solved. I'm sure a lot of us. What was the story behind that? That is just like a guy just put the poison. He died and then just a dude put a bunch of poison and a bunch of Tylenol and the thing is we don't really have time to get into it now but it's like the cool thing is it completely changed America forever

because now you have those fucking jail caps and you can't like open up anything and it's like you know it's like some of Sam made women change their haircuts for like a month. But like he changed like every single time you go to the party. Like national policy. Yeah like national policy which is nuts. But that's the same thing too. We can actually talk about that in a domestic terrorism episode.

But it's all things. It's like anybody could like because you barely pay attention if the cap is popped or the cap is popped when you get a drink. So it's like anybody could stick a needle filled with AIDS into a Snapple. I don't know if that's how you transmit AIDS. That's what you do. I'm just saying. I mean you might want to get a different thing. Anybody could take a bunch of AIDS germs and rub them on your pillows

and then you got AIDS now. Yeah. I think that's a possibility. Which is a livable disease. Right. Just rough. You just got to take a pill every day. It's hard.

Yes. And hopefully that pill isn't poisoned as well. Yeah. That would be a real double doozy. And then very quickly there's Bible John who killed women in Glasgow who were on their period. They called him Bible John because a girlfriend of a girlfriend of one of the girls that he murdered met him and he was just like I know the law.

He was just like quote Bible scriptures. Of course. Real born fellow. Really fun guy. I mean yeah until you find out he was a murderer and you're like Bible John. I can smell their periods from here. Oh God. I just want to get some of that.

Lady Jam. Lady Jam. Up in my nose. Rub that marmalade on some toast. That's what they should call it from now on. Menstruation is now Lady Jam and Marmalade. Mammalade. Like memories.

Mammalade. Mammalade. All right guys I have to get out of here. Hail yourselves everybody. All right. Fill me in with all the sweet information. All right. Love you guys.

Get out of here. I'm out of here. We don't need you. All right. Ben had to go so we don't get to fill your ears with the delicious evil details of the Zodiac killer and all of the delights that are brought along with the conspiracy theories as to who the man was and who the man definitely wasn't. Who is all of all of San Francisco.

Yes everyone in the city of San Francisco although it could have been an avant garde art project. It could have been Satanists. It could have been Satanists. It could have been the San Francisco Police Department playing a game on themselves. It could have been the Unabomber. It could have been MK Ultra. Literally the deepest darkest rabbit hole that I have ever experienced researching for last

podcast. Next episode we're covering the Zodiac exclusively if you did it. If you're a listener who's did it. Fucking come on you know give it up. Yeah. Give us an exclusive. I know you're out there Arthur Allen. He's dead.

I'm sorry. I'll get into Arthur Allen later on. Don't get me started. All right. I won't blame the Satanists. I read two things about Satanists talking about the Zodiac killer and they were both being like he'd never be the type of trigger man they choose. It's more of a Prescott Bush that they would choose.

It's like yes. I know. Yes. We all want old evil men working for Satanists but sometimes you got to have a young buck. But thank you guys. We will bring you some Zodiac knowledge next week. Too much. Too much.

How keen. I literally didn't sleep last night. How much information was rolling around in my head. I didn't sleep the night before. High on me. Goodbye. My goos de lesion. My goos de lesion.

Oh and happy birthday Amanda. Happy birthday. From all of us. Thank you.