Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 89: Open Lines

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

This is it! We're finally releasing our long awaited pilot on to the podcasting masses. Join us as we take calls from a man running a haunted hotel, an ER nurse who swears he can feel spirits leaving bodies, and woman who has had actual sexual intercourse with a ghost.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Welcome to the show, that's Marcus Parks. I'm Ben Kissel. Hong Kong Henry Zabrowski can't be here this week. So we are going to play for you guys our serious satellite radio pilot, Open Lines. This episode is all about ghosts and spectrophilia. We started off a little bit light because a lot of this stuff, I know a lot of our listeners, are going to know exactly what we're talking about long before we get to the punch. But we were doing this as a pilot to introduce people to our specific brand of paranormal research.

So bear with us while we get through all the explanations of intelligent hauntings and residual hauntings and this and that and what not. We know you know. We know you know. You're an educated group. Yeah, just enjoy it and have a great time with it, man. I'm so glad you guys are finally going to get to hear this. We had a lot of people ask, why are we going to get to hear it now? Now's the time. And you're going to love it. So blast emails over to Sirius and just be like, give us more. Yeah, roddogitsiriusxm.com. That's right. Yeah, and you can tell them if you enjoy the pilot, say put it on the air. Put it on the air. Get these boys a show.

All right, everyone. Enjoy Open Lines. You're in the right place at the right time. This is Open Lines. Blasting out of the Mojave Desert like a shurako. Blasting across the land. Into your town. Into your home. Slamming into your radio like a supercharged nanoparticle of Unumdanium. Rat feet. Bad, bad ass. Bad, bad ass. All right, are you warmed up? Slices of buttered ham. All right, welcome to Open Lines, everybody. I am your host, Ben Kissel. With me, as always, we've got Marcus Parks.

Hello. Good to see you, buddy. You too, man. And of course, the mad genius himself, Mr. Henry Zabrowski. Whispering willows of gunk. Whispering willows of gunk. Brawls that do not fit. Voice exercises. It's important to have a very clear voice when you do the radio.

I think you need some more warm-up. It's supported to have a very clear voice when you're speaking on the radio. Did you just get drunk? I didn't see you drink anything. But it's exercises. Hi, my name is Henry Zabrowski. Indeed. Marcus, Henry, and myself, we've been doing a podcast called Last Podcast on the Left for many years now, and this is our serious debut on the little program Open Lines. All we discuss is the macabre and things of horrific nature.

It's our Broadway debut. Indeed. I can't wait to sing songs for the people. No, it's a little bit different. Are we gonna do that? You could if you really wanted to. I had a dream. I dreamed it for you, Joan. Trucker in Ohio just turned us off. That's great.

Thank you so much, Henry. No, we're not here to sing Broadway show tunes. We're here to discuss today's topic, which is the wonderful world of ghosts. No, we are very big fans of Coast to Coast AM. A big shout out to Coast to Coast AM listeners. Shout out. I didn't hear the response. No, no, it's radio.

But we love the Open Line format. We want to hear from you stories about ghosts and little halble. That's right. And today we're covering ghosts and hauntings. Let's get started with a couple of different kinds of ghosts. Absolutely, because there's all types of ghosts. Like there's all types of dogs. Right.

I've also heard that there's 12 brands of pig. Well, there's multiple different sorts of pigs and dogs, but there's two specific kinds of ghosts. Absolutely. And so we're gonna pepper it with some information to kind of get you familiar with how we do things around this joint. That's right. So let's start off, Marcus. What is the most powerful of all the ghosts?

The most powerful of all ghosts. Let's start with the most powerful ghosts. All right. Well, one of the biggest hauntings around are orbs. Oh, okay. This is the thing about orbs, right? And they said, you take pictures of people go out to like haunted houses and old barns and they're trying, you know, they're trying to seduce old Becky, right?

Sure. Becky's 300 pounds. You just got her out of the pickup, right? You bring your Polaroid cameras so you can have a picture to take to show your friends you actually got with Becky. Absolutely. And you bring your favorite diet orange crush to get her out there, because it's her favorite syrup you drink to drink, right?

By the way, please, when you do call in, let me know what you think about diet orange crush, because I brought two into the studio today and I have not heard the end of it. He's got two diet orange crushes and a diet Pepsi in front of him. It's like the dinner of an assistant manager at a JC Penney's. Well, you know, I've got a good job and I'm trying to keep it. I think, yes, absolutely. Becky's going to leave me if I don't make 65 a year.

So people go and they're going to say, like, oh, let's take pictures of some ghosts. Let's go look for some ghosts. Let's get some fucking hard evidence, which is just, I mean, it's technically impossible, because ghosts, I mean, we can't understand them. I don't know what they are. They're not hard. They're technically universal goop. So sometimes when people take pictures of ghosts, what happens is these orbs show up

on the pictures. A lot of times people want to say that it's dust particles that could caught in the air and then light sort of bounces off of them. But I think that they're circle ghosts. Interesting. And what does a circle ghost do? Well, orbs are life forms that traveling groups and are believed to be the human soul or life force of those that once inhabited a physical body here on Earth.

Psychics claim to talk to them on a regular basis and ghost hunters encounter them quite frequently. So let's say Becky, she's a 300 pounder in real life. You could argue she's sort of an orb. Let's say you kill her. Let's say you kill her when you're in this barn. It's technically possible for her to come back and then haunt the next group of kids who are trying to boink on the hay. She's caught in her bubble prison from there on.

She's like, come on, bring me my phantom. Hey, come on, y'all. Where's my teacher on? It sounds like she's living her perfect life. Absolutely. I mean, it just depends on how you're built in life normally. If you're built to stand the orb, then you can do it like I can stand the orb. Right.

Because you can't see on the radio and you don't know me personally, but I am a bit of a portly man. If you're at home right now and you're listening to this and you have access to a computer, Google Henry Zabrowski. No, let them make their own case. Z-E-B-R-O-S-W-S-K-I. You totally fucked that up. You've misspelled it all over the place. You've known me for seven years.

But no, I've been told I look like a Hollywood version of what's the name Dr. Robotnik. Yes, you did. It sounds to me like this Becky character. She would be happy being stuck inside of a bubble orb. And in real life, had she lived, she probably would have been stuck on her bed. She's just being a trailer, yeah. Now, the orbs are some of the most famous ones around. Yeah, absolutely.

Orbs are definitely a big part of paranormal research. It's what a lot of your ghost hunters, like all of your ghost hunter TV shows, they're the ones that get really excited about these. Yeah, they're just like, that's a ghost right there. You can tell it's in the picture. Right. Look at the picture. It's the outline of a man in the doorway.

And it's like, that's a grease stain. This is a former slop kitchen that we're looking at here. It's a grease stain or a grip in the wrong position. You know, one of those two. So let's go down the rabbit hole a little bit more then. We want to talk about hauntings. Because the idea is that we want people to call in and tell us, what is your scariest haunting experience?

Have you seen a ghost? Please tell me you've seen a ghost. Because they won't appear to me. Because I want to see them so bad. I want to see a ghost. I want to get in my hands. But they never come. This is exactly what you do on OKCupid.

It's like me with lace. Right. And this is why they're terrified of you. Because the problem is, is that I always thought the best way to get a woman's confidence is to grip the edge of her skirt. But that's not, that's not it. In the 1940s, that would just make you married. But it's 2013.

It's a time to change. You just do it for two years at her work every single day and then one day you're married. Arrest it. That's what the word you were looking for is arrested. But let's go through some of the more common types of hauntings. And then we'll take a phone call. Well, one of the most common types of hauntings is the residual haunting.

That residual haunting activity occurs when something traumatic or stressful occurs such as when your girl in the barn gets raped and murdered. Sure. I never said that Becky got raped as we were taking her on a date to a barn. Right, right. Oh, that was my thing. Oh, yes, that was. OK, yeah.

Well, negative energy is literally blasted into the atmosphere, causing the atmosphere to imprint or record the events. Like such as in Hiroshima when the atom bomb dropped and you had the shadow people on the walls. Don't be afraid that we mentioned Hiroshima, right? It won't be the last time. It will not be. It's also like the smell of burnt popcorn.

Yeah. Or like living above an old Chinese restaurant. Yeah, it's those types of hauntings where you say you stay at an old hotel and they say, well, you know, every night at 3 a.m., old lady Winchester walks down the stairs. But if you wait a little while, she'll show you boobs. It'd be nice if she just cleaned up the damn place a little bit. That would be good.

Cleaning ghosts. Don't worry. The ghosts sometimes leave old boxes of general sows in here. Oh, that would be amazing. I think it may be some sort of comedian radio DJ. But it could also be a ghost. Well, residual activity can also be positive. Sometimes you'll have hauntings where you'll hear people having parties.

You'll hear people laughing, having a good time. That's going to be the saddest thing if you're all alone. You just sit alone in your apartment and there's a ghost party happening around you and it's like, aw, man, no more yellow and vice me into a real human pop. I mean, I don't even know if you're invited to the ghost party. You're literally on the outside looking in. No, yeah. No, a ghost bouncer is like, you want to list?

You want to list? I know Meredith. Meredith hasn't been alive for 200 years. Oh, my. I love Meredith very, very much. Okay, so you have some positive and negative ghost haunting experiences. So this is your residual ghost haunting situation. What's the other one?

There's quite a few different kinds of them. There's also poltergeist activity. Okay. Poltergeist is my favorite because they'll flip up a skirt. And when does the poltergeist activity usually begin? Well, it's usually caused by an adolescent teenage girl going through puberty. Permanarsh. Permanarsh.

I love this song. Henry is carouseling throughout the entire studio. Well, there are some people who argue that poltergeist activity is not actually paranormal or it is not caused by ghosts, but is caused by certain psychic energies that people who are going through very stressful situations project out into the household. Well, that's also a very common thing for ghosts in general. People talk about that there may, there may be actual entities called ghosts or sort of like intelligence that exists around us.

There's also a lot of science is coming out now that all ghosts are just sort of mental activity that get refracted into a space. So if you're a 13 or 12, 11 year old girl, you're going through your period. Life is very difficult. You hate your father. You hate your mother. You probably hate most of your girlfriends. Mommy don't like me. That's right. You're in a difficult time meeting boys. I guess my voice getting deeper.

I thought I was supposed to sound more like a girl. You find out you're hermaphrodite. I mean, things are very difficult for you. And then the last thing you need to top off this poop pie is a ghost haunting. We actually have a very beautiful friend of ours, Natalie Sanders. This is a shout out to Natalie Sanders who experienced some very visceral poltergeist activity. I'll begin the story and then we'll take our first call. That sounds fantastic.

Natalie was a Natalie experienced some very heavy poltergeist activity when she was living in an apartment in Bushwick, Brooklyn, where essentially she believed that her entire house was inhabited by a jealous female ghost. She was very beautiful. I think she at the time, you know, she had many a paramour. Okay. And so she was like apparently like her stovetops would turn on as she was asleep. She'd wake up for no reason.

She'd walk into the kitchen and all the stovetops would be on. And then one time the cabinet, we went in and we saw where the cabinet flew. It is talking about like a four cabinet wall thing. Whatever it is, it's a wall thing. It came shooting off the wall like seven feet out into the middle of the kitchen. It's nuts. And the biggest thing that happened was that she woke up one night and she had scratches down her back, like two, two foot long scratches down the middle of her back.

And when she walked up and walked into the kitchen, all the stovetops were on. And down the hallway was her front door. And there was a bunch of winter coats that she'd keep on there. And she found them off the front door and tied in a circle in her kitchen floor, absolutely soaked with water. And it's the most frightening thing I've ever seen. Going into the house and listening to tell the story was like, mmm, spooky, icky. I remember you and I actually went to her home into the seance there. And then she asked us to leave.

Indeed. Well, we kind of creeped her out. I think we were far creepier than any ghost that could have possibly been haunting that apartment. Let's take her first call. Andy, what's going on, buddy? Have you ever been haunted? Yes, I have. When I was a small child between ages six and eight, I don't remember exactly.

Okay, so you weren't going through a period? You weren't going through your period? No, maybe. No, no, no. Definitely not. That's good. So what are the details? What actually happened?

You know, I was just like a small kid. It was nighttime. I was playing on my bed with my toys. And I remember, you know, my room's a square and I had a window directly across from my bed and the slats were open. So, you know, like in horror movies, you notice like the periphery saying and the characters, they like, they feel it. Yeah, these are also sometimes known as shadow people.

Certain paranormal people believe that those people in the corners of your eyes are actually paranormal activity known as shadow people. You're smoking like way too much weed like all the time. Sometimes you'll see things in the corners of your eye, but that's just kind of what I do to myself. Andy, that's my follow-up question. Were you stoned at six years old? I was probably stoned on McDonald's.

Okay, well, that'll do it. That'll do it to you. All right. So you're lying in bed playing with your toys? Yes. And I remember distinctly it was the actual McDonald's toys at the Half Moon Man. I don't know if you remember that kind of thing. Those were the creepiest commercials on television.

I loved it for some reason. Yeah. So I turned my head to the left and I looked and what I see is essentially kind of like a traditional ghost, if you think about it, but later on I figured out it was like a KKK type thing. Interesting. Like a white triangle and like two black holes for eyes just looking at me through the window. So it was a shit.

Did it spout out any sort of racist rhetoric? What gave you the idea that it was a KKK ghost? You're not Jewish, are you? No, I'm not Jewish, but I'm Catholic. Do you have a drunk uncle that may have been standing in your room that you did not know as a member of the Klan? You want to look at me in full regalia, nephew? He's a star from Jesus Christ.

He's coming in your toes and then... Okay. So you're lying in bed, Andy. You see this KKK looking ghost? Yes. Yes. What goes through your head at that moment? I just fucking didn't know it.

Oh, can I curse? Yeah, it's fine. You can say whatever you like. Have you heard what these guys have been saying? So I turn... I don't know what to do and like... This only happened in dreams before where I don't know what to do and I'm trying to scream but nothing is coming out of my mouth.

Sure. And I just bury my head in my pillow and keep trying to scream until like I just start crying. And my parents come over and they tell me like I'm seeing shit. What did you say to your parents when they came into your room? I mean, did they believe that you had just seen a ghost or did you have an active imagination as a child? I had an active imagination. I always had problems sleeping. I mean, I think my parents are like from South America in the really old school and they're like,

no, you did not see anything. No. Right. Can you tell me what... Where did you live in the United States at the time? Oh, okay. So this is what ties it in. If you tell me Indiana, it was a clansman.

I just did some research about this. I grew up in Mama's County, New Jersey. Okay. And... Mama's County? Mama's County, New Jersey was to be like a huge stronghold for the KKK up until the 50s. Interesting. Did something happen to the KKK of Mama's County?

Did they... Was there a large death of the KKK? They just got broken up by the government in the 50s. And I guess they just dispersed further south because like... That's where they go. Exactly. I just grew up in a majority like Italian and Jewish neighborhood. Well, actually, my dad used to go to...

My dad, I'm from New York in Queens. My dad used to go to a bar that used to have a back meeting hall that used to have a lot of sort of like neo-Nazi meetings. Okay. I also don't know. I mean, we're Polish. I feel like in the end, we would just be naturally afraid of them. Yes, naturally.

Yes. All right, Andy. So have you ever... Have you been visited again? Were you visited again as a child by any sort of clansman ghost? No. I mean, I moved to Florida after that and there were no ghosts unfortunately in Florida. Was this moment important enough in your life for you to change your philosophies?

Do you still... I mean, obviously, you believe in ghosts now. Did it help you choose a specific religion or did you join the clan? I love the outfit, so I decided to join the clan. Makes me look like a ghost. No, I mean, I just really became a hardcore atheist in college because like, you know, everything in college or whatever, but I kind of swung back to it and because I don't know... I don't think it could have been an actual person of Ku Klux Klan outfit because my window

is like 12 feet off the ground. Right, right. That's really interesting. This is a perfect example of a residual haunting because these are... Well, thank you so much for calling in, Andy. Yeah, that's a perfect example of a residual haunting. It's the negative energy that's drenched in an entire Mamas County. Right.

Now, Mamas. I thought it was Mamas as well. It's Mamas County. Mamas County just sounds like a restaurant. Come on down on Mamas County. We got the best of the middle balls you ever had in New Jersey. I mean, I would go to that county. I would live there in a harpy.

And Ku Klux Klan costumes for rent. Mamas County had a large KKK resort where they used to go and have retreats and events. They must have gotten so upset when the chlorine bleached them. I guess technically they would just get whiter. Yeah, they would actually very much enjoy that. Okay, so this is an example of a residual haunting. Very much so. Because if this haunting had reached through and sort of, you know, if it had touched its genitals,

that would have been more of an intelligent haunting. Sure. And that would be something we're going to discuss a little bit later on in today's program, a little thing called Spectrophilia. Let's see. Let's just take another call. Let's go to Dave in Minneapolis. Dave, what's your ghost story?

What's up, Dave? What's up, Dave? I actually have a ghost story. I was in Kilkeny, Ireland in 2006. Okay. And it's a relatively sizable city in Ireland just outside of Dublin. And I was up all night in Dublin and traveled over there and needed to take a nap until I laid down. Does this music bring you back to that night?

Oh, I hope you enjoy yourself here in Ireland. We've got all the finest white feet that you can get. Wow, white feet. We live in dirt huts. Is that what the Irish do? I think that might be a stereotype you're starting to create. So you're in Ireland. You're hanging out.

It actually, Ireland is exactly as you would imagine, yeah. And I got to a bed and breakfast. Stereotype confirmed. Which is a very old town. And it was right across the street from a castle. And I was tired, ate breakfast and decided to take a nap for a while. And I went to my room and laid down and fell asleep and kind of nodded off a little bit. And all of a sudden I started to hear noises as if I was out on the street, like car horns and like engines and stuff like that.

Coming from the doorway. And I look over at the doorway and I'm looking at the door and I'm still hearing the noises. And then I look at the foot of the bed and there's a large figure and it looked like heat coming off a grill. It looked like what coming off a grill? Like heat, like transparent, but like wavy air. People talk about that with the shadow people occurrences and also they talk about that with alien abductions as well. Okay. We might have a possible ghost or an alien situation.

Or just another dirty uncle in the shadows of Ireland. Well, let's go with a ghost. There's no dirty uncles in Ireland. I think that's where the dirty uncle was invented. Well, it's possible. It's possible. Oh, come here nephew. I'll show you my chilebi. I don't want to go see Uncle McDonald anymore, mom. Okay, so you saw this sort of heat coming off of a shadowy figure on the end of your bed.

Yeah, it was a shadowy figure. It was very large and it was maybe the shape of like slump thing. Like it kind of came to a point at its head. And at no point you got blackout drunk in Ireland and brought a woman home that you don't remember. You're going to marry me? I knew you're going to take me back to the United States. Oh my. Make me the best bride in the world. Oh, his life has been miserable ever since. That's a marriage. That's the true ghost. That's the real haunting.

So you're staring at this ghost. How did it make you feel? What were you thinking? What was going through your mind? Well, I didn't really know what to think and I was trying to figure out what it was, of course. And it had a sort of a personality to it. And I could feel that it was like an excited dog. Okay. Like it was very mad, like just excited. Was it a nervous type energy? No, it just was very, yeah, I guess you could say it was a nervous energy.

And it was kind of happy and kind of like... Was it like that? Did it feel like that? Did it feel like a nice dog bark in there? It did feel like that. It felt very excited in just a very sort of innocent way. It just had a lot of excitement to it. Did you attempt to engage the figure? No, I just stared at it. I had never experienced anything like that before. And I absolutely did not believe in ghosts beforehand. And suddenly I got sucked into the bed, not down into it, but I got completely stuck to the bed.

I couldn't lift my arms or legs. That's also common with alien abductions. It's also sleep paralysis, which also weirdly happens. You could have been to sleep. Do you feel like you were asleep? I was completely lucid awake except for I had been asleep leading up to that moment. It was when I heard the noises from the street that I woke up, but I was in the room. It was exactly the time of day that it was.

There's no way that I had taken enough note of the room to have the details of it that clear in my mind. And as I was stuck to the bed, it passed through me and through the wall. Interesting. And at what point did you give birth to the ghost baby? Just several hours later. But that's your shepherd's pie. Yeah, that was just a huge dump you ended up taking. Well, that's amazing. And has this story gotten you laid it all over there in Minneapolis?

No, I don't tell it. I've been waiting a long time to tell it. I told my mom immediately afterward and she was like never speaking. Oh, interesting. She's been having an affair with a ghost all these years. Oh, yeah, she's been to Ireland. She knows what happens there. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Dave. Absolutely. All right, man. We'll talk to you soon.

This is great. So he had more of a pleasurable experience it sounded like to the degree that the ghost didn't seem hostile or angry. Well, there's a lot of talk that aliens also, but the ghost like to experience a sort of a, they like to feel the communication. They like to reach out and get like through the barrier of the whatever dimension that they're living in in order to speak to us. That's great. And of course, you're listening to Open Lines with Marcus Parks, Henry Zabrowski, and myself. I am Ben Kissel. What do you got, Marcus? What I was going to say is that that sounds more like an intelligent haunting.

Okay, very much. Do you want to get into an example of intelligent hauntings real quick? Let's get the definition of intelligent hauntings if we could. Absolutely. Well, this intelligent hauntings kind of plays into Albert Einstein's theory about energy matter. Energy can either be created nor destroyed. And also, how did you make the best bratwurst in the country? Did Einstein invent the bratwurst?

Absolutely. He's like, you take a pig's foot and you boil a little dog piss. Is that what Einstein sounded like? There was, I mean, he wasn't a good cook. Right. He was a brilliant mathematician. Sure. So, intelligent hauntings is the theory behind that is that energy can either be created nor destroyed. And there is, of course, a lot of electrical impulses going on in our bodies at any given time.

The things that make us jerk around like a bunch of puppets on this spinning rock we call the planet Earth. Exactly. And there is, when we die, no one really knows why, but the human body loses six ounces. Okay. So some... This is a proven scientific fact. This is a proven scientific fact. And this doesn't have anything to do with the fact that you tend to urinate yourself and go number two when you die?

I think you definitely, you fart out the way. It's farted out. They factor that into it. Okay, so that's factored out. That's factored out. It seems to have caught all the fart that we could get out of this corpse. And it doesn't add up to six ounces. It's only three.

It is an interesting point that Henry makes, though. How does the spirit leave the body? I mean, it has two whole options, or three, I suppose. I can't wait until I actually die and I just fucking shoot around the room like an deflated balloon. Yeah. I think that's exactly what's gonna happen. That's what's gonna happen to me tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, that'll just be a large... I had a lot of chicken vindaloo. No one wants to hear about it. So some say that that thing which leaves us is our soul or our aura. And those things can stick around in the physical world and communicate with us in either a positive or a negative way. Yes, and so within intelligent hauntings, these are creatures, creatures or entities that want to reach out to us and are affecting our environment and they have a personality and they're doing stuff to us. Okay. They're the fiddlers.

The fiddlers, if you will. Yeah. Fascinating. Let's take another call. Absolutely. Let's go to... I don't have a name here on my screen. It just says Trucker.

And I must say I always love truckers. My father was a truck driver for CCX and he worked overnight. So it's always nice to speak with my dad. Is this gonna be you? I hope it is. All right. Trucker with a ghost story. What do you got for us, buddy?

Am I on? Yes, you are. How you doing? Good. How are you, man? Good, good. I would say my name is Brian and it's not Trucker with a ghost story, but I drive a lot. So I'm on the road with the truckers all the time.

All right. Fantastic. Where are you calling from, Brian? Yeah. Right now, I'm in Socorro, New Mexico, washing my windshield. High off peyote. Do you see roving tribes of Indian women just walking along the highway in New Mexico? You know what?

I've actually seen that. Not Indian women, but we in service to Arizona. Okay. And the white pink are in the white mountains, which is just outside of Interstate 10 off the Highway 90. There were a set of mountains that you would ever once in a while see spirits dancing on top of the mountains. Oh, fantastic.

So anyway, the reason I'm calling here was the first time I ever had a ghost experience that actually made me believe in God. Okay. How old were you when this experience happened? And I'm not calling you to push religion or any of that kind of shit. No, no. I'm not saying we love the devil. I was a very strong atheist until this happened to me.

My father was killed in 99 in a race car accident. Okay. And I just happened to be up in Flagstaff, Arizona. And I was visiting what he called his cabin, which was actually a pretty big house up in Forest Island. But it stopped two o'clock in the morning and I hadn't been smoking pot or doing shrooms or anything like that. But did you wish that you had?

I was visiting a place where my dad spent so much time at. Okay. And I'm laying in my bed in my room and I can't really sleep anyways. And the house is pitch black. I'm always one of those people who turns up all the lights and that kind of stuff. Right, right, right. You're a responsible man. You're a conservationist.

Yeah. You know, I yell at my cousin all the time because he can't turn the damn lights up in the house. I agree. But anyway, I lay in there and I see a light come on in the house. Okay. And I'm like, okay, first of all, I've got the alarm on. There's no way anybody could even get into this community.

Right. You know, I'm going to go see what it is. And I opened my bedroom door and surprisingly enough, my dad is staying in there. Really? Thursday. It was no, it wasn't like that. Is it possible that your father faked his own death? Went back to get some bags and then he didn't realize that you were going to be there that

weekend. Maybe he was just trying to, uh, trying to leave the family there. Yeah. Who knows? I was having, I struggled, you know, when my dad died, pretty, pretty bad. Of course. You know, when he died, I started banging every hooker I could find. I can't wait for my father to die.

I hope I have a similar reaction. The problem is you just lived that life as a comedian already without the excuse. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. I mean, I was smoking it all and snort it all and, you know, just having a rough time in life. Of course.

And it had no faith or any of that kind of shit. It's a very traumatic experience. So you're at the, uh, at the cabin there, you see your father. What goes through your mind? Well, it scares the shit out of me, um, and I mean, it was like an actual person standing in front of me. It was not some bright light. It wasn't like a transparent figure.

It was a person. It was my dad. Okay. Did you, did you attempt to, uh, touch the ghost at all? No, I said, holy fuck, I slammed the door, I grabbed my bag, I opened up the door again. House is pitch black. Wow. So interesting.

Yeah. I run out of the house. I get my, my truck, I drive all the way back down to Phoenix and the next day I tell my stepmom what had happened. She calls, uh, the security guard up on forced highland. So say, go check on the house. And yeah, sure enough, the front door is wide open. No light for on in the house, but they could tell that somebody had been there.

So. Fascinating. And now this experience was so powerful for you. It, uh, made you choose, um, a false idol that is God. No, that's fine. Thank you so much for calling in Brian. All right. You too, brother.

Yeah. You see, that's also really interesting. I think it happens a lot with people that when you're close with someone, it's those bonds are already created. So it's so much easier for them to come back and see you again. Absolutely. You know, I mean, at the same time, I just feel like if I go to heaven, y'all ain't seeing me never again because I'm going to be drinking keg butter with a Beethoven playing

on the old pearly whites, Jimi Hendrix, but he will not be going to heaven hanging out with Einstein and Michael Clark Duncan. As a matter of fact, if you want to see the future of what Henry's life will be like after he dies, uh, Henry was the star of an adult swim program called your pretty face is going to hell. You can find it on. Hail Satan. Hail Satan.

You can find that online. And that's of course, it's the man that you just heard speaking there is beautiful in his true form looking like a devil. We were just talking about, uh, souls leaving the body. We've got a great caller here. He works in the ER and he swears he felt a child's body, uh, a child felt a soul leave a child's body. Uh, Robert in Alabama, what do you got for us, buddy?

Yeah, uh, when I was working in the ER, it depends on the age, usually the younger the person that would die with us, we could actually feel something move right past us. Um, yeah, exactly. We had a young teenager who was, uh, we were working on feverishly to try to save him. Okay. And, uh, I was standing next to another nurse, the doctor was across from us and all of us, and we were almost shoulder to shoulder because, you know, there's not a lot of room there.

So all of a sudden we felt like someone walked between us. We looked at each other and we just kind of put our hands down, looked at the doc and said, we're done. And he, he must have felt it as well because he said, okay, put his stuff down and walked out. So before the equipment, before the machine, uh, officially announced this, uh, child dead, you had just already been able to call it because you felt like the ghost just kind of walked right past you.

His spirit. Exactly. Yeah. It was a, you know how sometimes you feel somebody walk behind you and you, you kind of know somebody's there. I don't feel so much when people walk behind me, but I love to closely walk behind people and kind of terrify them like that. You were built like Mike Myers, but you can't see on the radio is that Ben Kissel is seven

feet tall. Um, and he, um, I mean, he's got a dour look, a furrowed brow. Right. I'm a six foot seven inches, which is the exact size of Michael Meyer. So how many times have you felt a soul leave a, uh, a person's body? Uh, I would have to say, and it can follow the soul or energy, but I would have to say about 10 times. I also worked in the ICU, so between the two places, uh, we have a lot of people die there

and it's just amazing what, now I'm working in nursing homes. So no one's dying. Is it just, is it just, do you just enjoy being the, uh, the most youthful man in the room, the most alive person there? I can do three pushups and I'm more fit than anyone. Yeah. Well, that's well, I should go to the nursing home once, uh, once a week just to feel good about myself.

I just feel like, I just feel like there was like an old woman like in there while the ghosts pass. She's like, she's like there with like a weed pipe, like trying to suck it up. Like, hey, I'll tell you what, you'd be shocked at what these folks have done. They'll, the note they tell you, you know, they're hiding the grandma side, but uh, grandmothers, I'm sorry, continue on, Robert. Oh, well, I was going to make another funny thing about them was, uh, these old men come in on their walkers and I don't know what about them or what about the Pacific war,

war, war two, but every one of them was the boxing champion in 1945 in the Pacific. Well, there could have only been one. I mean, that's, that's the thing. The lies these old people make up. They're malicious, terrible people. You mean to tell me I can't fuck anymore? I know for a goddamn fact you brought a woman in here. I could pummel her with my big fat sack of nuts and then she'll lose your nuts in the

war grandpa. Well, thank you so much for calling in Robert. Yeah, you bet. We'll talk, we'll talk to you soon. I got nuts like big sacks of rice. Really? Yeah. You come over here.

It's like a bunch of gravel in there. You want to touch them a little girl. Interesting. So do you think that with when Robert called, he seemed to really put an emphasis on youth when it came to the soul, leaving the body. I mean, does the soul or the spirit or the, the energy, do you think if you died an older age when you die, the, the energy is going to be slightly less? Absolutely.

Yeah. It's going to cut. It's like when you ejaculate when you're ready and it's like. Is it what it's like? Yeah. It's just. That's what it sounds like. That's what it sounds like.

But the thing is, this is what we're talking about with poltergeist activity is that it happens with young people because the psychic energy built around their internal organs, their menary shooting through their system, that, that the environment changes a lot more. There's a lot more energy there. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm no expert. No.

You know how when you, the older you get, the more your soul dies and the light goes out of your eyes? Proof. Scientific proof. Right there. Is it weird? It makes me hard. No, everything.

Everyone's got different things that stroke their being. It is. I did like the point though, about old people, they, they, they are, they're malicious human beings. I was with my grandmother at her nursing home. They've got big knuckles and they grab at your knees. They're stronger than we could ever be. I mean, I'm eating lunch with my grandmother and she looks around the room at every, all

the, the old couples and she just points, when she dies, I'm going to have sex with him. When she dies, I'm going to have sex with him and my grandmother, you're wishing these women dead. And she's like, yes. Yes. And then I would have sex with her. Yeah.

Pretty much. She might be. She might be. Um, all right. Well, let's get a story here from Ed in Brooklyn. Ed, what do you got for us, buddy? Hey guys, what's going on? What's up, dude?

Um, so I, uh, I had this weird thing happening when I was a kid. I was, uh, I was walking, I was, uh, after a Cub Scout, uh, meeting and I couldn't help us know this. It's, you sound really fat. Are you, are you the fattest caller that we've had all day? I was actually the biggest baby born in Florida. I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem. Yeah.

So you got to, you got to get here, buddy. So anyway, being a chubby Cub Scout, we were leaving, uh, uh, we were leaving. It was my, uh, I was at a Catholic school and right next door with a graveyard and my father's driving me and my mother home and we're passing the graveyard and there's just like this blue, uh, shadowy figure in the road and me and my mother starts screaming to my dad, like, stop, stop, stop, stop the car, stop the car, you're going to hit the sky, you're going to hit the sky. And my dad, my dad's like, there's nothing on the road, there's nothing on the road

and then he drives right through it and me and my mom lose our mind. We just go crazy. We just started screaming. You know, you hit somebody, you hit somebody with the car or something, you just killed somebody, you know. Did you, did you feel like the car did hit something? Was there a thump or any sort of? No, there was no, no, no, no, it didn't feel anything at all and, uh,

I don't know how disappointed your dad was that he didn't hit a dude in the road. Yeah. He was really hoping that you guys did see something. Every man wants to kill something with a car. Yeah. You know, you, you go for the best. So anyway, we, um, we, we got out of the car, I mean, my mom and my dad, you know, we, we got out of the car, we look around, there's, there's nothing there and we're, you know,

we're freaking out. We're like, we know you did something. We're calling out, you know, people are passing us, you know, it's crazy and there's nothing there. Your dad just peels the car out of there and you just leave it and you guys are just left on the side of the road. Well, what happened was as soon as we got back in the car, we started driving away and then I don't know how, but the locks from the car, I mean, it could just be some weird

thing that happened just randomly coincidence, but the locks in the car just started going up and down like crazy, like, like madhouse just up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down. And then it stopped. And we went home and we just never talked about it. Yeah. Right. Right.

And, uh, fast forward, uh, years later, I'm in high school now and I'm just, I'm driving by the same graveyard with my buddy Tim. And we're driving by the graveyard that never told him the story. We've never talked about it. You just, you know, it never came up and it doesn't sound like you guys were very close friends. Well, you know, you don't really talk about, you know, things that are, you know, slightly embarrassing, you know, or, uh, you know, that's why it's good to call in here and be

anonymous. Right. Right. Right. And, you know, so we, uh, into eyes, I never told him about the story and we're driving and he's like, stop, stop, stop, you're going to hit somebody, you're going to hit somebody, I didn't see nothing, I drove right through, same thing happened. He's like, you hit someone, you hit someone in my mind.

I'm, I'm freaking out cause I know exactly where I am, you know, like five years, seven years later. Yeah. Just flying back through your brain. So, so you're driving this time, much like your father was driving the last time and now the person in the passenger seat sees the similar blue, uh, shadowy image. Yeah. Exactly.

That's how I knew it. That's how I knew it was telling the truth. Cause I asked him, I'm like, what'd you see? And he was like, it was like just blue, you know, shadow, you know, the dude in the shadow and I was like, yo, bro, let's get out of here. And then, uh, then I just told him the story and you know, we freaked out. That's interesting. And then you ripped crazy bongs.

No, not yet. I was like two years early. And was that the last time that you were, uh, that you had seen a ghost or did it follow you through your life? Oh, no. And, um, it happened a lot to me, uh, weird things happen a lot. That's the most, uh, that's the one that sticks out the most. I had a house that I lived in, uh, Boca Raton club, which is already filled with pre-death

people indeed. Absolutely. And the house, uh, it was always a brand new house, you know, but it was, uh, somehow it was always something going on, you know, there was, you know, things where where you put them. I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but things were where you put them and like doors were shut and I'd walk in the kitchen, the cabinet to the open, you know, and like there'd be random people banging on the door, sometimes I was just one instance where I was on my

phone with my buddy and there was a bang at the door, real loud and I was like, no, you opened the door and no one's there. Scream there. It's hard to get in and out without me catching you. Right. And so I was like, thank you. You left it on music. No, no, no.

Running through the house as well, going like, come on, come on, come on. Yeah. I've let it in probably. Yeah. That's for sure. So I'm like freaking out. I'm talking to him on the phone. I'm like, I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what's going on. Let me hang up. Figure out what's going on. Don't mess with me. And then just then when I hang up the phone, I look at the sliding doors and there's absolutely nothing there and, you know, obviously you could see through them and the doors start shaking. They just start violently shaking and banging and I lost my mind.

I just left the house and then. Are you scared? That's great. So you just, you just bolted on out of there, right? Well, that's what it was. That was, that was a dun dun dun. I believe that was. Is that right?

Did I do it right? So then you just left the house and that was it. I left the house and then the week later after that, I was sitting over with my buddy Corey and we would always like, we'd hang out in my room and we'd pass out in the next room where they had like two beds next to each other. Did you guys push those beds together throughout the night or anything like that? Are you guys ready? Push together so you don't roll over into the floor.

Seems like an elaborate ruse to have Mr. Corey and you sleep in the same bed these go-starts. All right, Eddie, I'm so sorry we got to cut you off short. We need to take a break and we, when we come back, we're going to discuss a little thing called spectrophilia. Stick with us guys. Welcome back to Open Lines everybody. I'm Ben Kisser with Marcus Parks and Henry Zabrowski.

Girls, pop your shirts off. That's right. Of course, as promised before the break, right now we're going to discuss a little ghost love, a little thing called spectrophilia. Have you ever just wanted to, you know, like when you bring a dude home at night, you know, and he, listen, you know, let's say you're out on the town and you're in college and you're just trying to experience something new and you just bring a dude who tells you that he's, you know, a poet and a guitar player and he works on the railroads, you know, and

he comes into the house and he makes furious love to you, you know, just mess him with your chest and grab it on your butt like real hard, but also like speaking Byron, you know, and then you wake up in Byron, Lord Byron, you know, and then you wake up in the morning and like, um, he and though, how cleft and ripe your buttocks are. Oh, okay. I see. Sure. That is enchanting.

And then you wake up and he's gone. That's like fucking a ghost. Oh, so a terrible one night stand where you may or may not have dabbled in homosexuality. That's a, that's spectrophilia. When you bring old Sandy home was the last girl in the bar at three 30 in the morning, you know, and then you wake up and I mean, you're married to her at seven years later and you got four kids. That's like fucking a ghost.

Indeed. That's what we call the old Polish relationship. All right, Marcus, what's the definition of spectrophilia? The definition of spectrophilia is a sexual attraction to ghosts or sexual arousal from images and mirrors. So it is the phenomenon of sexual encounters between ghosts and humans. Oh yeah. What about just watching ghosts fuck?

I don't know. I mean, that is part of spectrophilia because it is a sexual attraction to ghosts. Like say we have sexual attraction towards women, we like to watch women fuck. Same thing with ghosts. Sure. Interesting. Sure. So, is there, so as a man, if you love a ghost, how is there an okay cupid for that?

Is there an e-ghost harmony? I think a lot of it. How do you find ghost love? What? Oh, this is nice. That's sweet. I hope everybody is ready to meet Ludwig von Beethoven. Ooh, very nice.

I love it. Hello girls. I play the piano and I enjoy many different types of harpsichord music. You know what, I'm more of a rock and roll kind of gal. I love very tall, very tall socks on a girl and I like it when a girl is wearing a whole bunch of sick cotton, cotton dresses and ribbed things to keep in her large gut. Well, I do have a large gut. Do you have a condom by any chance?

What is a condom? Never mind. I have sex through a wool mitt. Oh, okay. Well, that's totally fine. So how do you find ghost love? Well, spectrophiliacs, one of the things that they do very often, this is something that a psychologist who studied this found that many spectrophiliacs masturbate against mirrors.

So Kanye West is a spectrophilia, a spectrophiliac. Not necessarily looking at themself in the mirror. Just looking at the mirror, like looking at some, it's like seeing a different world. It's like being able to ejaculate into a different dimension. Oh my. I've heard of coming on a butt, but that's a whole nother world. That's every single time I rip bowls and masturbate, I'm just like, oh man, I'm gonna come on Mars. And the other, there are also some felon on Mars.

It's just some Martian and just like. It's raining again. Man, this is so weird and sticky. This salty rain is helping the flowers grow. Whatever this rain is must be God. You can't be the God of Mars. Don't make yourself like God of Mars at the end of this jack off joke. Spectrophilia also includes the legends of the incubus and the succubus.

What's an incubus? An incubus is a man, demon, who takes the soul of a woman by having sex with her. Okay. Yeah, and he goes there and he's ramb ramb ramb ramb ramb ramb ramb and then she's just like, thank you. And a succubus is a woman who does the same to a man. Like the woman takes the money. Yeah, and Dan Aykroyd in Ghostbusters, when he's laying in the cut-out scene, when he's laying on the bed and the ghost zips his flying, and sucks his dick.

That's the thing, ladies and gentlemen, if you remember that scene in Ghostbusters, we probably watched it when we all watched it when we were younger. I never really got the whole ghost blowjob scene, and I watched it as I was older, and I said, this should have been edited out of the movie. Dan Aykroyd is getting blown by a ghost right now, and as a child, I'm like, he's making funny faces. I wonder what's happening to him. Mommy, why is he toilet? Shhh, go to bed. Mommy has some ghost fucking of her own to do. She's doing it. That's a big twinkie.

Oh, why? That's good. I got a feeling that scene was, they were saying like, listen, we got to cut the scene, Dan Aykroyd's like, I'm not doing the movie unless the scene stays in! I'll be out of the movie unless it stays in the movie. I have a supreme ability that I think that if we just do the scene, that maybe, just, possibly, a ghost will really suck my dick. Dan Aykroyd's dream come true. Alright, speaking of mirrors, those are often in bedrooms. What else is in bedrooms? Hotels. We have a hotel manager on the line.

Very good segue. I mean, honestly, if I, I'm genius. I just want to say that. Alright, we got Morgan on the line, the manager of a haunted hotel. Morgan, what's going on? What's some hauntings you've seen in this hotel? It's actually a, it's Martin. Okay, Martin. Yeah, I'm probably the fattest caller you've had in today. Oh, wow, Martin, alright. Well, I don't know if you know how fat that is, but how fat are you?

I'm 275, I think. And how tall are you? About six, six foot. Oh, that's nothing. No, you're a good size, Martin. Never call yourself fat again. You should see that. You're true American. That's right. God damn it. You can't let the commies win. Keep on eating. There's a witch hunt in this country against fat people.

Indeed, I agree. They're coming for us. You know what? I think you're winning. I don't think there's a witch hunt. It's a war of attrition. Until Bloomberg takes our sodas. Alright, so Martin, you're working in this hotel, you're agile, you're healthy, you're a great hotel manager. What's some hauntings you've seen?

Or one specifically that really sticks with you? Okay, well, I'm not going to mention the name, but we're right next door to the Alamo Hotel, obviously. So, Longs operating hotel west of the Mississippi, you know, the battle of the Alamo took place on where the hotel is at right now. It happened in the lobby. Yes. Okay, in the lobby, we had the Alamo situation go down. Yes, yes, you're correct. But, specifically the second floor, everybody says it's haunted. I've been there for three years. Okay.

And there are a few things that happen. One that really sticks out the mind is the second floor, the early 2000 rooms, 2002 to be exact. The room is not a room. It's a storage room because of some bad plumbing that happened. And, well, people don't want to pay. Bad plumbing happened. It's full of dookie? Well. That was just an incident that happened a couple of years ago that the hotel just didn't want to spend that kind of money to restore it. The dookie will work itself out. That's right.

Well, anyway, there were refurbishing tubs on the second floor, and 2004 had accidentally got placed by one of the trainees. Well, none of the... I'm sorry, we lost Martin. Did that play through the beeping sound there? That was Martin's phone line. Yes, definitely a haunting situation. We lost him. I think he's calling for one of those war two, like, behind enemy line phones. It is a good possibility that Martin himself was a ghost and is not real, and you can tell when people call from the netherworld. Did we fucking just blow the lid off of ghost evidence? I think we did. And what greater name for a ghost than Martin?

Martin? Martin, I need to see you. My bedclothes is soiled. Right, right, and then Martin goes and he fixes up the entire hotel. Martin, I'm all out of ice for my feet, Martin. That's fantastic. Well, unfortunately, we won't be able to hear his amazing haunted stories. Well, I did find out some information about the hotel that he's talking about. Oh, very good. Yeah, absolutely. It's called the Manger Hotel. Like, Mangola? Like Mangola? Mangola, okay.

And the most famous ghost they have is named Sally White, and she was a chambermaid that was murdered in 1876. Okay. And reports of mysterious footsteps and sounds and things being moved by unseen hands are numerous. Wishing murder because she messed up the plumbing in room 2002. Yeah, I feel like David Crockett also used to sleep in that room, and the problem was is that every morning he started with a chicken fried steak and fried steak and he's just like, well, you know, I got a bit of a Texas tornado going on down here. That's all I had. I'm sorry. That was the reason for the poopy situation, of course. No, that makes all the sense in the world. Okay, so the Manger Hotel. Now,

and this is the main woman that's haunting the hallways of that place. Yep, looks like it. Well, do we want to get into some of the finer points of spectrophilia? Well, here's some first hand accounts. Yeah, let's get into some first hand accounts. This is from a travel channel show called Ghostly Lovers. We only search the most unsearchable places for our content to the travel channel. How'd you ever find it, Marcus? I found it by searching insects with ghosts. No, this is a pretty, it was pretty easy and

it has nothing to do with the show. Right. Right. This is one of the most famous spectrophilia cases that there is, correct? Absolutely. Okay, this is the only laying in my room on my bed alone and I felt something heavy in the air almost. It was Martin. It just felt like the room was getting darker. All of a sudden, I just felt something on my legs, just almost like a warmth, almost like a tingling, something just touching my leg. I kept getting all these weird sensations over my body, just weird tingles, warmth almost, tingling, going up my legs and onto my arms. I felt almost something breathing on my neck,

like somebody was actually kissing me. I felt somebody grabbing my arms, pushing me down on the bed. My heart started to brace. My breathing became deeper and I just went through all the motions of actually having a sexual encounter with somebody and I felt... Sounds to me like she was just laying on her back. I felt energy up my legs and I felt something touching me. I remember that. I remember the tingling. It's so hard to explain unless you've experienced because it's through your whole body and it's a warmth that comes almost from the inside out and you feel these sensations on your skin and inside and through your body and you feel just almost encompassed in this... Ghost jizzom... energy. God, I wish women would

describe having sex with me like that. No, no. It's just being like, well, the big foot man came and laid on me and he gave about four pushes and then he fell asleep. Yeah, he was drunk. It was our 200 o'clock in the morning. He texted me and told me he was outside so I let him in and then... I don't think he's going to text again. He's an animal. What happened to her? What actually happened to her? I think that she just had an orgasm as she slept or perhaps a ghost was having sex with her. I mean, who knows? Either way, it seems like a very pleasurable experience. One thing that I noticed that was different about sleeping with a ghost is that when normally I'm with Bruce, he keeps his hat and his shoes

on. Oh, interesting. And that ghost... I mean, it was just romantic how he took off all his clothes. He took the time to touch my legs, which is nice. So he takes his shoes off, takes his pants off, his underwear off, and then he puts his shoes back on. I mean, mostly it's really in a hurry. Oh, I see. It's mostly like in computer centers of libraries. I see. That's mostly where we hit. Oh, very interesting. All right. By the way, this video, there is a woman telling the story and then there's a reenactment done. Right. And if you look at the video, it's the same woman. I think that she just pitched this story to the producers of Ghost Lover. She's just like, I know I normally only do sort of reenacting actings

for you guys, but I have an amazing story about how ghosts give me an eurgism. Well, you've got our attention. I think we're going to let you talk about it. Let Brandy do it. Whatever. Well, Brandy's my girlfriend and she's going to do whatever she wants as long as I'm in charge of Ghost Lover. All right. All right. She's on the show. It's a great saucy story. It's going to be an empire. I think there was seven Ghost Lover episodes. Right. Because I think that's all there was. Definitely. Definitely. I think there was 35 cases of people fucking ghosts. And at this point, I'd love to hear one person have a story saying that they fucked a ghost. Indeed. If you've had a sexual situation with a ghost,

please call in. But let's right now go to a story from Dave in Oregon. Dave, what's going on? Hey guys, how you going? Good. How are you doing? I'm well, I'm cracking up over the whole spectrophilia thing. Yeah, it's pretty great. Have you ever felt sexually enticed by a ghost? No, no, sir. But the last story, that was, that was pretty good. Okay. Have you ever had a wet dream or what, what the deal was? Have you ever made a woman feel that way? Um, yeah. I think we've had ourselves a liar on the line. I don't know if you can believe that you've seen a ghost if you're lying about you pleasuring a woman. No, right Dave. So what's your story? Well, I've been, I've been investigating ghosts for many, many,

many years. How long have you been alone for? I've been married for 18 years. Yeah. We technically all have girlfriends and that's why I've been alone. Anyway, exactly. You took the joke right out of my mouth. Thank you. Right. And I've been investigating ghosts. When I was 16, I had a very, a very cool ghost encounter, which is why I've been investigating ever ever since then. Okay. What happened when you were 16? Well, me, my mom moved in this place and uh, when we moved in, it was kind of like weird. Like you've got a weird vibe, just kind of weird in there. Right. And that's a sure sign of a residual haunting. Okay. And uh, well, yeah, exactly. It was residual. Um, uh, my, like I had a touch lamp in my room

and this thing would like, and I'd wake up in the middle of the night and this thing would just be going off and on, off and on, off and on. And I told my mom, I just summer on my touch lamp. I got to get a new one. So I got a new one and then it would do the same thing. And then I'd be like in the kitchen above my bedroom and I would hear people walking around like a footsteps and I like, what the fuck is that? What is that? And I go up there as nobody there. Okay. Whatever. Cause I didn't believe in ghosts then. And then one night I turned my lights off. I got into bed and the, my bedroom door opened and actually physically opened and this thing came into my room. Okay. And at that night I was by myself in the place.

There was nobody there. How, how were you feeling? What was going through your brain with that app? Well, I, I, I thought it was, you know, it was, it was like a woman wearing a nightgown. I thought maybe it was my mom or something. It was dark. The door opened. This thing came in. It stood at the end of my bed and looked at me and I was, and I, and I, I took my head up and kind of looked at her like, okay, whatever. How did it look at you? Was it inquisitive? Was it, uh, was it like, well, I couldn't see your face. It was like black. Okay. And then it turned around and left the room. The door shut and I thought it was my mom. So I sat up thinking she might've come home earlier or something.

Right. So I set up and I'm like, hello. And I get no response and I'm like, well, what the fuck? Right. You're going to come in my room, look right at me and not say a damn word. Yeah. And full like black face, like, you know, like, I get out, I get out of bed and I open the door. I go look into the house. Well, what the hell? Nobody's there. Nobody's there. I realized it was kind of like, holy shit. I just saw a ghost. And from that point on, uh, how did that change your life? Well, it changed it because, uh, when I told my friends about the next day, nobody believed me. They thought I was crazy. Oh, you didn't see, I'm like, no, it was a ghost. Like I'm looking, looking back on like, no, it wasn't

even walking. It was floating. They're like, no, dude, you're just crazy. You're just, and I'm like, no, I fucking saw it. So I have been doing my best in my time too. And I ghost hunt all the time. Well, do you have a company that, uh, that you ghost hunt for? Is there a title that you want to give? No, I, I, no, I do it on my own. So Dave's ghost hunting company. Yeah. All right, everybody, if you live in the Oregon area and you feel like you're being haunted, call up Dave's ghost hunting company and he will solve all of your ghost problems. I just love the fact that so many people are calling deaf piece. So many people have ghost stories, you know, and I feel like that's why it's a phenomenon. It's definitely,

I mean, of course it's been, it's old as time. Everyone's talked about ghosts. There's, there's something else to the universe besides what we just physically normally experience, except you know, especially when you're smoking crazy dubs. I mean, I just think that helps you see that shit. I agree. Um, all right. And obviously we're on the, uh, the topic of spectrophilia. We have our first female caller and I'm being told she has fucked a ghost. So Lisa, Lisa, you're on the air. How are you? I'm good. Fantastic. So where were you? Uh, and what was it? What happened when you had this ghost sexual encounter? Okay. Um, first of all, I am, I've actually had a haunting experience at the Manger hotel. You know, when the guy

put that took on the interest in the program, I just got in from the airport, got my car and I was like, Oh, I know this hotel because we got haunted there. And it was, it was a very strange experience. That's called a synchronicity. And that's, that's actually very important to sort of ghost stories and ghost experiences like that. That's, uh, that shows that it's real. Well, you'll have to call back and discuss the Manger hotel, uh, haunting, but let's get to the sweet, sexy ghost haunted. This was a very, very odd experience. And okay, first of all, how old were you? I was probably 28 and I'm 48 now. So you were a supple 28 years old. Yeah. And I'm still a supple 48 year old. Anyway, I was a young mom and I,

and I'll practice this with saying that always as a kid and all my life, I've always had something to sort of, you know, this strange experience with a ghost spirit, you know, see things, hear things, but, you know, always kind of blew it off because I know if I talk too much about it, my mother would make me go see the priest and, you know, Oh, you never want to see the priest. That's, that's it. Never see the priest. Never see the priest. You know, you have to double it all the steps on. Okay. I'm having this dream and, and it was, it was kind of, it was a pseudo sexual dream and I felt very pinned down, like just and not in control of my body and everybody

has a little moment when they're waking up where they have like an out of body experience or sometimes you don't feel like you're quite there. You think it's just a hope and a dream that I'm not me. I'm playing there and I realized I am having full on sex and I thought, okay, my son has been, has gotten me in the, you know, in my sleep. So it could not be your husband. It can only be a ghost. Well, it's, I know it could have been my husband, but I am, so now I'm awake, but I can be a good lover. Okay. So, but it's a deeper story there. The sex you were having was just so unbelievably amazing. It was, I believe a ball and I was just like, Oh my God, what's going on? So I, I did you actually feel the

pressure as if a ghost penis was going inside you? Yeah, everything. Wow. Okay. And it was great sex. I had, you know, there were hands gripping me. There was a body laying on top of me. I was actually in, had moved my body into the missionary position. So I, I opened my eyes and I can see a shape on me, but then I, I can't move. I can't move my hands. I can't move my legs. I am being moved. And how many, how many organisms, how many organisms have you had at this point? If I could wake up with an orgasm every single day, I wouldn't be so grumpy in the morning. I'll tell you that the promise is that if the male orgasm is like, it's just and it's done. Yeah, that's true. Okay. So you have one orgasm. You're

being controlled. I'm waking up and I'm like, okay, maybe I can get into this, but then I look over next to me and my husband is, is there. And he is next to me and I am being done. I mean, I'm being screwed by this, whatever this thing is. And it was a 50 shades of gray type sex. No, it was, well, it was kind of like a hold you down. But what I could, I could discern of the body on me was a very handsome, you know, man. And a very good-looking man. And he was looking at me and he was, it was violent, but I must admit, I was very afraid, you know, and I started to try to move and make sense. Well, my husband woke up and I could see him looking at me and he was scared to death because I, you know,

obviously could tell that something was fucking me. She's never been like that with me. Yes. I mean, he must have been absolutely shocked. So I, he was, he had a very bright and licked on his face. And I, in my mind, I kept saying, you know, get off me. This is wrong. Stop, stop, stop. And the very beautiful man that was laying on top of me, holding my arms down, having his way with me, turned into this hideous looking creature. And I mean, it was this scary, demonic looking thing. And I could not get a scream out. And I was fighting, fighting, fighting inside of my body. I was like, wake up and go away, you know, scream at this thing. So all sexual pleasure has gone now. This is just a sheer terror.

Because at this point, I realized that, you know, this is, this is a race, right? Right. So I scream, finally get this God awful scream out. And this thing goes away. And my husband, you ruined it for him. He was like, I was enjoying watching it. He did not see the shape of the thing, but he could see the fear in my eyes. And he, you know, he picked me up, grabbed and he held me and he said, are you okay? Are you okay? And he said, God, you know, God be with us, God be with us. He didn't know what to say. You know, he's not a religious guy. Right. But he was, he was praying. And I burst out here. And I told him what was happening to me and everything. And the really, this was a very physical thing because there

were actually, there were marks on my body. What kind of marks for there was hand, hand prints and things like that. There were hand prints on my body and there were bruises on my hip bones because this thing was pounding the hell out of me. Right. It was really going to town on you. This is what you would call textbook incubus. Interesting. And it's also, it's very similar to tales that they say back in the day, uh, about, uh, wizards that would shoot their bodies, like astral project themselves onto unknowing little girls and sort of like the Crucial Player. Awesome. Well, thank you so much for calling, Lisa. All right. I mean, I know it wasn't a hilarious story, but it really, it was very intense.

That's what this show is all about. This show is all about true ghost hauntings and paranormal activity and things like that. And please call back, uh, when we record, when we, when we're recording. I'll try to make your one. Yes. Okay. Well, we're excited. You as well, Lisa. Thank you for calling in. Well, this is amazing. I mean, I feel like I love the radio. It's a fantastic first, uh, first episode. We'll definitely be back and, uh, this has been open line with Marcus Parks, Henry Zabrowski, I am Ben Kissel. Absolutely. We want to end it with the, uh, the song, the very special song. If you want to get a ghost lover tonight, sure, someone to take you and sweetly hold you down and crest your

hair and suck on your belly button. I'm not really sure. I think lay down in your bathtub, spark a J that's right and play this song. That's right. And of course, uh, check out our podcast is called last podcast on the left. We have hours and hours and hours of, uh, of great, uh, entertainment for you to listen to 83 episodes. Our latest episode is all about secret societies, including the Bilderberg group and the wonderful things they do at their retreat. Bohemian grove. They mostly fuck each other. They mostly fuck each other. All right. Open lines.